#not trying to write professionally at all (anymore lol) but

[kingofbodyrolls]

For this rainbow, I finally picked up my professional camera again. The last images stored there tells me that the last time I used it was the 1st of December 2023. Wild. But I picked it up thanks to this pretty rainbow, which was actually a double rainbow. So pretty. This image is made up of three into a panorama shot, and Lightroom was a bit funky with putting them together, so please don't mind the badly processed house in the middle; no, we're not looking at that 😂

For people who want a wall of text status update, it's under the cut.

How are you all doing? I'm hanging in there. Not active much, but I still haven't gotten myself into deleting my tumblr app. So I still see and get all your notifs, even if I don't reply right away! I'm still taking time off, trying to figure out what I want to do with the blog for the future... I have not written a fanfic in some time now, but I have two finished stories that are ready to be published, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure about a lot of things these days... I've had dark days, written a lot of sad and dark poems (that will go on my sub blog some time in the future), and I've begun to write an original story. It's really fun; about magic, witches and mages; about good and evil and all the gray in between. It will probably bore you, but it's fun to write, even though I don't think anyone would read it except for a few friends (even though this thing might be the longest thing I'll write, turning into either two or three books lol).

Serotonin boost I get happy when I get notifs with comments and/or reblogs of my stories; it really touches my heart. To be honest, this is why I left/taking time off. I've always felt that interaction was low, and my stupid brain will not let me stop comparing myself to others, so it slowly killed my drive for writing and posting. If no one interacts, what's the point of posting? If no one interacts, what's the point of writing? But I love writing, and it's one of my creative outlets, so I couldn't let that go completely, hence I started writing original stories instead; no ones gonna read them anyway, but I can still play with characters, world building and storytelling. Those are the things I loved about fanfics---and I still do, don't get me wrong. But I feel so discouraged being on here. But I'm happy to know that a few people still care.

The Downfall This also made it quite hard for me to read; because I felt so unmotivated... I haven't read much this month at all. I tried to read a fanfic this Monday, didn't finish it and haven't picked it up since. Honestly, I've just been watching documentaries because I'm in a (tumblr) slump. I feel drained though; I feel like I've given so much, and I love it. I love making people happy, leaving lovely reviews, and it's as much for myself as it is for making another person happy---but to be honest, it has drained me. I know I shouldn't ask for anything in return, but I feel imbalanced. Like I'm not being filled with much love, if that makes sense? I don't really feel appreciated, but don't get me wrong, I don't feel hated (yeah, I'm so good at being black and white), sorry---I know I sound very pessimistic. But you guess have always been so kind to me, and I love you a lot, and I have a few super lovely mutuals and friends that are lovely internet friends that I adore, so I wanted to be real with all of you. You can hate me for it if you want to. Go ahead.

I don't think I'm going to make a recommend list this month. I haven't really read anything, so it'll be really small. And I don't like the pressure of it anymore... which is why for a long time I've thought about not doing them anymore. Maybe some day I will again in the future. But I'd still love to make rec list on the member's birthdays! And I think this will help me, take some pressure off myself (that I've created myself), so I'll still read and rec, it will just be slower---whenever I feel like it, and not because I have to read to make a monthly rec list. This isn't my job, I'm not getting paid doing all of this, and the amount of time I've been spending on both reading and writing is more than 37+ hours a week, sooo. I have to slow down.

A part of me thinks that I flew too fast, too high and too close to the sun, lol. I'm still gonna be here, you can still send in asks for rec list or whatever you want, all is welcome (except hate, because then I'll simply just delete my blog, my mental health can't take that).

To post, or not to post? Should I post the two stories that I have? Both of them are for the series Friendcation.

And for the unfinished mermaid stories I still have left, I hope I'll finish them in the future; when, I don't know. Maybe one day I'll feel love for them again, to finish them. I have them all planned out, but like I mentioned before, with low interaction, I'm really not motivated to finish them, even though part of me really want to for the like five people that are so sweet and invested, and always comments and reblogs (you guys know who you are, and I love you so fucking much 🥰).

To all the stories I'll probably never write...

I still have some other unfinished but planned stories, and I'm gonna list them here, just for the hell of it. Don't know if people would have found them interesting anyway, but here goes:

Words on a Page (a Namjoon x reader, idol!au where reader is a fanfiction writer and interviewer for a magazine and has to interview BTS). Author's comment: probably never gonna write it. It has been done before, and it was just a very very silly dream I had.

Songs of The Heart (a Jimin x reader, musician!au where Jimin is a single father and reader moves into the house next to his, hear his lonely songs etc, they meet, talk, very angsty, sad and nostalgic and 'Who' coded). Author's comment: this idea came to me after listening to 'who' and then thinking about Jimin being my next door neighbor, yeah, that's it. Don't know if this will ever get written.

IT Support (a Jimin x reader, office!au where Jimin is your nerdy coworker, but a freak in the sheets, lol). Author's comment: this has honestly been on my list for years, but I never written anything for it, and I probably never will, even though I've made the banner and all.

I do have a few more, but I've already scraped those, and then there's the four mermaid stories to add to the list. I'm probably mostly excited about the mermaid stories, and those would be my priority if I ever get back into writing fanfiction again.

I swear, I'm almost finished... Okay, this whole thing has gotten incredibly long. Sorry. Before I end this post, I just want to say how happy and grateful I am to each and everyone of you. I've met some incredible nice people on here, some really caring ones. I'll never forget that. And I'll never forget each wonderful and lovely comment, some people have really helped me, motivated me when I felt low, and when I wanted to stop writing a few months back. Thank you. I kept going, and I wish I could keep going for you, making something special, for the special people I met here. I actually really wanted to do requests for you guys in hopes that it would motivate me into writing, but I just don't know. I still want to give so much back to the people who have hyped me up, so I'm going to tag a few of you lovely people--- if you have a request for a story, you're welcome to message me or send me an ask. I don't know if or when I'll write it, but in case I get a bit of motivation, I have some things I could write from, so if you want to, you can send me a request (just keep in mind the story will probably be a one-shot from 10-20k max or maybe shorter, lol, you never know with me). You don't have to send me a request, I simply want to give back to some lovely people. I wish I could hug you.

@letjungcoook7 @honeybloomyyyy @babystarcandyjk97 @minpdrecs @bobathi @allie-is-a-panda @back2bluesidex @gimeow @antisocial-mochi267

These are but just a few of the people that have supported me on there, either by commenting, reblogging, ask, messaging--you name it. I could list many others, and one day I might make a post celebrating all mt lovely mutuals, that means a lot to me. Thank you for interacting; you've (as long with others) helped me when times were tough. Thank you.

I had actually planned to open a "recommend a fic" section/box, but I'm not sure about that. I still have so many fics on my to read list, and right now I don't want to pile more onto it. Might do it in the future, when I've finally made it through my own lists.

Okay, I have to end this post for real now.

I'm still on tumblr, I still have my app. I deleted my discord app on my phone, but I'm still part of the servers I was before, I'm just not active. It's better for me that way right now, because it all got to be too much. I was just reminded of how much of a failure I feel like (no, we're not getting into that not, store it away). But you can always contact me here. I'm lurking sometimes. I look forward to reading in a more leisurely pace and hopefully not feeling pressured to make the rec lists as I did before (even though just for the completionist in me I want to finish them for just this year, lol).

Okay. If you read this far---thank you, I adore you, I love you, you're nice, keep going 💜

[sickgraymeat]

Trying to make peace with the fact that most of my biggest writing influences have always been narrative poetry and song lyrics so yeah. Plot is not something I’m inclined to focus on, and it probably never will be, as much I wish it would 🙄

[fiapartridge]

you don't go to parties | j. hughes 🎆🪩✨

“i don’t know who im looking for ‘cause you don’t go to parties anymore…” you don’t go to parties, 5 seconds of summer

pairing: jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: after ending your relationship with jack, he finally plucks up the courage to attend a party—and all he can think about is you.

warning(s): cursing, smut (like they have sex but it’s more heated & slow than trying to be super smutty), angst + fluff?? (in some aspects LOL), also noticing now that there was no protection so beware lol

author’s note: i don’t write smut so this is probably the closest ill ever get to writing it LOL but it’s much more for the plot rather than it trying to be super 18+, r-rated type smut yk

wc: 4.01k

not proofread

Glitter hung in the air, every room bathed in a purple glow as Jack hung by the wall, nursing a beer he had managed to snag from the cooler outside. The air was thick with the scent of perfumes and sweat, and the music thumped in his chest, yet he felt—detached, almost alone in the scheme of things. 

The party was a blur of lights and sounds, of hookups and dancing. None of it held any interest for him, but his friends had practically begged him to come. They nagged him the entire summer to leave the lakehouse, to have a drink at the bar downtown, or even to just go on a drive with them, but Jack always came up with an excuse. “Can’t. Training for next season,” or “Gotta raincheck. Something came up.”

They knew what it was. It was obvious. He was missing you. You plagued his mind every second of every minute of every day. Jack knew he had messed up. The moments leading up to the collapse of your relationship replayed in his mind like a broken record—the arguments, the tears, the things he said that he couldn’t take back. The memories of you haunted him. He could feel you throughout the whole house.

You met Jack when you were 17. He hosted a draft party at the lake house the second he got back home to Michigan. Jack, being the cocky teenager he was at the time, made it an open-invite party. Sure, it wasn’t smart on his part but he was a clueless teen. He didn’t know better, but he thanks himself everyday knowing that that one decision led him to meeting you.

Your brother—one of Jack’s school friends—had been invited and asked if you wanted to come. You were hesitant at first. You had seen Jack around school, laughing loudly with his friends or pressing a girl up against the lockers, locking themselves together with heated kisses. You had always found him obnoxious, masking his stupidity with insensitive jokes and being portrayed as a “dumb jock.” But ever the hypocrite you were, because there you were, at that obnoxious, insensitive guy’s draft party. Go you.

Entering the house, you noticed the high ceilings and swarm of strangers that knew Jack better than you; who were probably wondering why you were even there, or who you even were. To your left, a group of friends talked animatedly on a set of plush couches, their drinks spilling out of their cups with every swing of their arms, and their makeup perfectly done on their face like they had hired professionals for this specific event. You felt out of place and, to your luck, your brother had abandoned you the second you stepped through that door.

Who knew you could be surrounded by hundreds of people, yet still feel so alone?

Weaving through the crowded house, you made your way to the backyard, which was just as packed as inside the house, except there was a slight breeze and it didn’t smell as terrible. String lights criss-crossed above the partygoers, creating a canopy of twinkling stars. A fire pit crackled in one corner, Adirondack chairs lining the perimeter as guests chatted all around you. The pool was lit within, its water glowing an intoxicatingly vivid blue. You stood there, watching the stillness of the water as everyone filled around you. The music thumped in your chest, in your ears, in your bloodstream, but you watched the water, and for a moment, you felt okay.

“I always wanna jump in at parties,” a deep voice said beside you. 

You hesitated before speaking. “Why don’t you? It’s your party, isn’t it?” you asked, face-to-face with the man of the hour. His chestnut hair was cut short, truly showing how young he is. You wondered how he could do this: have eyes on him at all times, have so many expectations weighing on his conscience, being judged constantly. It felt—suffocating, to say the least.

“Do you know how many hockey legends are here?” he laughed, as if the building was swarmed with secret spies. 

“And yet you’re standing here. Why’s that?” you asked, looking up at the boy.

And for the first time in your life, Jack Hughes looked at you. And it wasn’t in the gross, disgusted way he looked at clumsy kids in the hallway, or the way he looked at pretty girls like they were his next meal. He looked at you in earnest, an emotion you didn’t even know he was capable of possessing.

“Do you think I don’t know you?” he eyed you, his brow raising as you broke his—hate to admit it—intimidating gaze. You watched the water before you, crossing your arms over your chest as you began to feel that unwelcome, fish-out-of-water feeling again. Moving closer to you, his voice fell almost to a whisper as you felt chills run down your spine due to the proximity. “I know you’re the obnoxious girl that thinks she knows every answer to every question, who already judged every single person at this party without ever learning their names, who doesn’t like me, yet still came. Why’s that?” he asked, repeating the same question you had asked just moments before.

You felt bare in front of him, confused as to how he knew any of that stuff about you. Surely he was too busy making out with girls and slinging a stick around to pay attention to you. So why had he just read you like a book without you having to say a single word?

You shrugged. “I wanted to see what you were about, I guess.”

“Yeah?” he smirked, his tongue poking his cheek as you dared yourself not to look up at him. “How’d I do?”

“Not sure yet.”

He bumped his shoulder with yours, butterflies bumbling around your stomach. “Not just a dumb jock, you know. That’s all Luke.”

You scoffed quietly, a small smile playing on your lips as you lessened up the need to try to fight it. You were smiling because of Jack Hughes, and to be honest, you didn’t really mind it. “He asked me the difference between a square and a rectangle once,” you joked. You had some classes with Luke, and while you two weren’t best friends, you still talked to each other once in a while.

Jack laughed, watching Luke in the corner of his eye try to talk to a girl that was way too old for him. “You’re laughing,” he smiled, noticing you cover your face and still your giggles. “See, I’m not that bad.”

You rolled your eyes before looking up at him. He watched the partygoers on the other side of the pool mingling, his jawline sharpened and his moles scattering much of the surface area of his face. You hadn’t noticed much about his appearance until then, until you finally got a good look at him, at his personality.

You two sat poolside for a while, your legs dipped in the water as you talked about anything and everything. Occasionally people would pull him away to chat, but he would always come back to you, telling you all about the boring conversations, how much he hated networking at a party that’s supposed to be fun, how he hated being treated and expected to be like an adult when he was far from it.

He didn’t notice he was talking to you for so long until the party thinned and it was just you and him in the backyard. Cups littered all around you, his mom picking them up as she not-so-subtly eavesdropped on your conversation. His brothers were inside the house, watching you two from the kitchen window, and Trevor and Cole speculated who you even were while trying not to pass out on the couch in the living room.

For the first time in a while, Jack felt, I don’t know, good about himself? Like he wasn’t praised for doing such little things, or told he’s some amazing person just because he’s good at passing a puck around. Like he was able to talk, and someone was there to listen. And for some reason, he actually kind of liked being criticized by you. It showed that you paid attention; that you were real. He hadn’t met someone real in a while.

He remembered the time you had dragged him to a New Year’s Eve party at your friend Avery's apartment a couple years later.

He was wearing “2024”-shaped sunglasses that matched yours, and a shiny, gold, plastic fedora that made you laugh every time you looked at him. His arms were wrapped around you from behind as you entered the house, his lips planting a kiss on the crown of your head as you two separated to hug the group of people that stood near the door.

You talked to your friends, catching up on everything you guys missed in each other’s lives while in college. Jack snuck up behind you, kissing your cheek before slipping off your coat and placing it on the couch by the entrance. 

The party was chill, much more relaxed than any of the parties Jack was invited to that night. You had urged him to go to them, knowing he would have much more fun with his friends, singing karaoke, getting wasted, and blasting music until they can’t hear anymore, but he shook his head, saying, “Parties are only fun if you’re there,” he shrugged. “Besides, how am I supposed to get my New Year’s kiss without you?”

The two of you mingled for a while, sharing nostalgic stories about high school and the time Jack had confused “pads with wings” with pads and chicken wings. The living room was filled with soft music and the hum of conversations. Jack kept close, his hand finding yours every now and then as if to ask if you were okay, if you needed food or a refill on your drink, if you were tired and wanted to go home—you were always his first priority. 

As the night progressed, the countdown to midnight drew closer. People began to gather in the living room, excitement buzzing in the air. Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve played on the television as Jack pulled you to a spot where you could both see the screen. His arm wrapped around your waist, and you leaned into him, sniffing his cologne and laughing when he caught you.

Before you knew it, the countdown began and everyone started chanting along.

“Ten, nine, eight…”

You turned to Jack, his eyes locked on yours, a charismatic smile playing on his lips. Even after dating for five years, he still managed to make you nervous. You had hoped that that feeling would never go away. You want to be nervous because of Jack Hughes every single night—forever.

“Seven, six, five…”

The room seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you standing there.

“Four, three, two…”

Jack’s hand gently cupped your cheek, his palm warm and tender against your skin as you leaned into it. 

“One! Happy New Year!”

Cheers erupted around you, but all you could focus on was Jack as he leaned in—not too slow, not too fast—capturing your lips in an impossibly better-than-the-last, sweet, honey kiss. Your hands were in his hair, his were glued to your hips, and it was perfect. And for a moment, it was just you and him, sharing the first kiss of the new year.

When you finally pulled away, grins were etched to your faces. You still couldn’t believe he was yours.

“Happy New Year,” Jack whispered, his forehead resting against yours.

“Happy New Year,” you echoed.

Jack’s head rested against the wall behind him, his eyes closed, the music muffling around him as he thought back to the first time he said “I love you.”

It was your 18th birthday and you were celebrating it at the lake house. Knowing Alex, Trevor, and Cole, they planned this huge rager for you, inviting nearly half the neighborhood—and then some. 

After you said your hellos and knowing that the party could continue without you, you wandered upstairs, finding yourself in Jack’s room as you sat on his bed; his gray cover soft under your fingertips as you brushed over the fabric. You just needed a minute. 

Before you knew Jack—like, really knew Jack—you hadn’t had a birthday party in years. It wasn’t like your family didn’t care about you, or your friends didn’t want to celebrate you. Everyone in your life meant something to you, and you meant something to them too. You just couldn’t go to parties to save your life. You would walk in, see all the girls that are prettier than you, all the guys that act like you don’t exist, you’d get in your head, get overwhelmed, and leave quickly after. This just wasn’t for you.

And because Jack knew you, he knew you would be upstairs.

The door slowly creaked open, causing your head to rise, and a sigh to fall from your lips—just Jack. He smiled at you, shutting the door softly behind him as he sat beside you on the bed. You two sat surrounded by the soft glow of dim lamps, and the distant thumping of music that had seeped through the floorboards beneath your feet. 

His heart pounded in his chest. He knew you were beautiful, but sometimes he’s just so amazed by you, like you’re a new person every single day. Like there were new discoveries to be made, like he could never get bored with you. To Jack, you were everything. And who needs anything else in the world if he had everything sitting right beside him?

His hand rested on your thigh, his thumb running up and down the exposed skin. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

You furrowed your brows. “For what?”

He shrugged. “For the party. I know you didn’t want it.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want it,” you murmured, sighing. “It’s just—I’m not Trevor, or Cole, or the number one overall draftee, Jack Hughes,” you smirked, bumping your shoulder with his. 

He shook his head. “No one’s telling you to be. We could’ve watched a movie,” he suggested, grinning. “Or gone on a shopping spree, or went on a drive. You don’t have to do anything for anyone else, especially on your birthday.”

“I like parties when you’re there—and no one else is,” you laughed as Jack scoffed, a smile pulling at his lips.

“I like those parties, too.” He went silent for a minute, just the hum of music playing from the outside filling the room as you focused on his thumb on your thigh. “I know I’ve been busy with hockey and everything lately, but I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re not important to me, or that I’m not thinking about you, because I am—all the time. You’re the most important person in my life.”

Your heart swelled at his words as you squeezed his hand. “I know, J,” you nodded. “I knew what I was getting into when you asked me out,” you smiled, meeting his gaze. 

He had been busy with his rookie season for the past year: being called a bust, getting injured over and over again, fans questioning if the Devils made the correct choice with him. He grew quiet during those months, more frustrated—with himself, with his game, with the people around him. You were worried for him, begging him to just talk to you about it. He shielded himself from everything and everyone. He almost lost you because of it, and he vowed to never do that shit ever again; to never get so close to losing himself that he ends up losing you.

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re really fuckin’ cool, you know that?”

You rolled your eyes, that smile planted on your lips never fading away. “I know.”

Laughing, he smiled, a small, genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat. He pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a warm embrace. “I mean it. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You buried your face in Jack’s chest, breathing in the familiar scent of seasalt and ocean breeze. “Luckily for you, you’ll never have to find out.”

He kissed the top of your head, his chin resting on your hair as your cheek laid against his chest. “I love you,” he whispered, the words spilling out before he could stop them.

He felt you tense beneath him, pulling back slightly. His heart sped up. “What?”

He gulped before breathing in. “I love you,” he repeated, his voice steadier this time. “I think I’ve always been in love with you—you make it hard not to be.”

Your breath caught, a small smile encapsulating your blushy face. “I love you, too.”

Before you could say anything else, Jack closed the distance between the two of you, his lips capturing yours in a tender kiss. The music was gone, the thumping of your heartbeat was put to the back of your mind, every doubt and every worry you had for this relationship was dissipated immediately—nothing existed at this moment. It was jack, jack, jack, plus a hundred times more.

Jack’s hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss. You responded naturally, your fingers threading through his hair, holding him close as if afraid he might disappear, like this moment was just a figment of your imagination. 

Gently, Jack guided you higher up the bed, his movements careful and deliberate. He laid you down, hovering over you, his eyes filled with adoration. “I love you so much,” he whispered against your lips before capturing them in another kiss.

Your hands roamed his back as you tugged at his shirt, eager to feel his skin against yours. Jack immediately understood, pulling away just long enough to discard his striped tee before returning to you, his kisses growing more urgent. 

As you pulled him closer, your own shirt joined his on the floor, your lacy red bra standing out against your skin. Jack’s breath hitched at the sight, his hands trembling as they traced the contours of your body, committing every inch and every curve to memory. He wanted to explore every dimple and every mole, every birthmark, and every faint touch that made you squirm. He wanted to know you, as thoroughly as possible.

“Holy shit,” he murmured breathlessly, praising you to the highest level. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Jack’s lips left a trail of kisses down your neck, his breath hot against your skin. He paused, his gaze meeting yours, a silent question in his eyes. He wouldn’t do anything unless you wanted to. You answered with a nod, your fingers tracing the lines of his jaw before pulling him back to you. 

“I love you, Jack,” you whispered against his lips. “I want this.”

Jack’s hands moved with increasing urgency, his touch sending shivers down your spine. Roaming lower, they explored the curve of your waist before slipping beneath the waistband of your pants. His fingers found their way to your core, gently exploring, teasing.

A soft moan escaped your lips, your body arching against his touch. “Jack,” you breathed.

He kissed you deeply, his fingers moving with deliberate, tender motions, drawing soft gasps and breathless moans. “I love you…so much,” he murmured against your lips.

Your breaths became ragged, his name becoming the only thing left in your vocabulary. The room grew warmer, more intoxicating. Jack felt you getting closer to your high, quickly removing his fingers before you could reach it as you whined out, breathless.

He paused, his forehead resting against yours, his breath hot and heavy. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked again.

You nodded, your eyes locked with his. “I’m sure, Jack. I want you.”

With a shuddering breath, he captured your lips again, the kiss deep and all-consuming. His hands found the clasp of your bra, unhooking it, and letting it fall away. He stared at you for a moment, taking in your bare body before his lips began to trail downwards, worshiping every inch of you.

Your hands found the waistband of his pants, your hands working sloppily as you fumbled with the button. Paying no mind, he helped you, discarding his pants and boxers in one swift motion. Jack’s body pressed against yours, the heat of his skin against yours almost too much to bear. His kisses were everywhere, trailing down your neck, across your collarbone, and finally to your breasts, where he lingered, drawing soft moans from your lips.

You arched against him, your body pleading for more, for everything. "Jack, please," you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath.

He met your eyes, his gaze soft and safe. "I love you," he said again, his voice full of emotion. "Let me show you how much."

With that, he kissed you deeply, his body aligning with yours. The moment he entered you, it was like everything else fell away, leaving only the two of you, connected in the most intimate way possible. The rhythm of your movements, the gasps and moans, all blended perfectly, like this was right where you were supposed to be—with Jack, here, and in love.

His thrusts were slow at first, measured, each one driving you closer to the edge. The feeling of him inside you, filling you completely, was overwhelming. You wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him to go deeper.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeated against your lips, over and over again. 

Jack’s thrust became more urgent, his breathing ragged, matching your own. His heavy grunts, as your fingers dug into his back pulling him closer, closer, impossibly closer, filled the warm room. 

As your climax built, your hands weaved through his hair, needing to feel him, needing to be as close as humanly possible. Each thrust hit harder and faster than the last, bringing you closer to the edge. 

“Jack,” you cried out, your body tensing as that unfamiliar feeling approached, the high almost too much to handle.

His face was buried in your neck, holding you tightly. “Y/N,” he groaned, pushing you through your high, his own release nearly there.

With a final thrust, the string you held onto so tightly, slipped from your fingers, a balloon inside you erupting at the feeling. You cried out his name once more, your body trembling with the force of your release. Jack followed, his own climax crashing over him. 

You clung to each other, your bodies trembling with aftershocks. Jack held you against his chest, his breath ragged, and his heart pounding against yours.

As you laid entwined, the world slowly came back into focus. The sounds of the party were distant now, a faint reminder of where you were. But at that moment, it didn’t matter. You didn’t care about what was going on downstairs, who was missing you, or who was asking for Jack. All that mattered right now was the two of you, and it felt perfect.

“Don’t know if I said it enough, but I love you,” Jack chuckled, his arm wrapped around your small frame.

You smiled, your fingers tracing lazy patterns on his skin. “I love you, too, J. Always.”

Always.

  Always.

    Always.

      Always.

         Always.

Opening his eyes, Jack watched the crowd around him, his gaze instinctively searching for you. He didn’t know why he was doing it. There was no point—not anymore, not when he fucked everything up. Not when he let you slip from his fingers and leave his life entirely.

His eyes settled on a girl in the corner of the room, a red solo cup in hand, her cheeks a flushed mess, and he wondered why he was even at that party. None of these girls could hold a candle to you, not even if they tried. 

Yet Jack watched the door, and willed for you to come, despite knowing you don’t go to parties anymore.

[saintjosie]

i’m not humble bragging when i say im pretty and passing. i’m hot as fuck.

when i brag, i brag with my whole chest, and i don’t do it often. so let me brag for a minute.

i am an excellent photographer and i worked in professional photography and videography for almost a decade and have traveled all around the world to do so. left image taken in milan, right image taken in thailand.

i hold one of the top scores on rush pinball on record. 25th in the world last i checked and i got this score five months after picking up pinball.

i try new hobbies all the time and almost always pick them up at an insane speed. on the left, first time painting since high school on the right, first acrylic pour.

after two weeks learning archery, i shot a regulation 140, better than many hobbyists do after shooting for years. image taken from my first day of shooting and shooting at full range.

i’ve dabbled in makeup art. this was after three weeks of learning how to do eye shadow.

i can sing, play guitar, bass, piano, drums, can improvise on all of them except piano and i write, produce, mix, and master all of my own music. i started learning music production four years ago from online videos and have 100s of thousands of streams and am working on a full album. this was my spotify wrapped for 2023.

other miscellaneous things

i have a masters degree

i learned how to lockpick in seven minutes

i’ve been world top 500 demon hunter in diablo 3 multiple times

i cleared slay the spire on my first run

i have cleared every song on guitar hero 2 and 3 on expert 100% (yes even through the fire and flames), and could clear more than half of them either blindfolded, left-handed, or both. (not anymore tho lol)

i taught myself how to cook, i make up my own recipes frequently, i can improvise recipes using whatever is lying around, i can guess how to make a recipe without looking it up, and many people have told me that my cooking is the best thing they’ve ever eaten.

i took a data science bootcamp and then worked at a fortune 500 tech company for several years and i also turned down job offers from google twice.

strangers regularly come up to me and tell me i’m unrealistically gorgeous and that i have the best skin they’ve ever seen.

i’ve turned down several men in the mainstream music industry who tried to slide into my dms

oh and i can dance at bars, have a good time, AND look sexy while doing it.

so like 🤷‍♀️

[calypsocolada]

PERCEPTIVE | o. dazai

synopsis: you don't smile around dazai and he's been wondering why. authors note: no notes just dazai. cw: suggestive, making out, flirting, fem reader, c*ckblock kunikida (plot device because i suck writing smut lol) wc: 3k

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Dazai liked causing mischief. He liked keeping people on their toes, and liked annoying his coworkers. You were no exception. When you were hired on as his new assistant the first thing he noticed about you was how you persevered through all his antics. 

He’d accidentally spill coffee on important documents but somehow you had copies. He’d be running late to work and expect a verbal lashing from Kunikida but when he’d get there Kunikida would be happily content and unaware of his absence. 

You were smarter than you let on. 

So Dazai started to test you. 

He’d write bad reports and make a mess of his desk and come back an hour later to find everything in tip top shape and the reports written so impeccably that even Kunikida would be impressed. After a few days of this he saw bags under your eyes and knew it was because he was stressing you out. He stopped the tests right then because you seemed like the type to suffer in silence. He felt that was on par with him. 

So from then on Dazai started to try and make things easier on you. He’d write good enough reports, keep his desk clean and often buy you lunch. He was searching for one thing in return. 

A smile. 

You smiled at everybody else and no matter the jokes or things he did for you you were always just very professional. It drove Dazai mad. He didn’t know why he wanted to make you smile so bad. Or why he wanted to hear your laugh. Let alone why he bought you lunch everyday and started trying harder at his job. These questions started popping up in his brain more often now. He’d sit at his desk and steal glances at yours. You were very elegant, that was another thing he noticed. Your handwriting was perfect, the way you ate, no matter what it was you found a neat way to eat it. Your voice was soft and you read at your desk on slow days. Dazai started writing down books that you read so that he could read them and see if he could find some part of you hidden between the lines. 

All of this was driving him crazy. 

The last straw broke when he saw you talking to Kunikida one day in the breakroom. You were at the table with him, legs crossed, hair in a loose braid. You were smiling and laughing. At Kunikida. Dazai couldn’t comprehend what could be so funny. Let alone Kunikida saying something that could make you laugh like that. 

That was the moment it hit him. Like a ton of bricks, sitting at his desk staring across the room at you. It all fell into place like leaves on a fall day. Dazai never thought it could happen, let alone to himself. He loved you. He was sick to his stomach, a love bug infecting his entire person. He’d never felt more stupid in his life. If he saw anyone else acting this way he could figure it out in seconds but since it was happening to him he had just shrugged it off. But he couldn’t do that anymore because he felt physically ill watching Kunikida make you laugh. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to be happy but goddamnit he wanted to be that cause of happiness sometimes for you. 

Dazai let his head fall into his hand, sighing and groaning obnoxiously loud. He literally had a book you were reading last week on his desk, how could he have been so blind? 

“Mr. Dazai?” A pleasant voice broke through his melancholia. He slowly raised his head to see you, standing by his desk. Your braid was tucked behind your back, loose strands of hair falling in your face. For some reason his throat closed up. All this thinking had stuttered his ability to speak to you now because now he knew. He knew what you meant to him. 

“Hm?” Was all he could muster and he felt pathetic for it.

“Would you like a coffee?” You asked and he knew it was because you had caught him looking fraught. You were so perceptive. Dazai cleared his throat.

“I would,” He says pushing up from his chair, you look at him in confusion. 

“Tagging along?” You ask and he nods his head. You lead the way and Dazai can’t help but feel like an idiot. He finally had you alone and he was walking two steps behind you unable to speak. A part of him wished he never figured it out. You slowed your pace so that you two were walking side by side. “Something on your mind, Mr. Dazai?” You asked, tilting your head to catch his eyes. It works and you have him blushing. 

“Uh- nono, nothing’s-- just uh- enjoying the weather.” He says, making a show of looking at the sky. You slowly nod your head, obviously unconvinced.

“Uh huh, it’s getting chilly, do you like the fall?” You ask as Dazai clears his throat, pursing his lips. He was being so utterly uncool around you it was making him annoyed. 

“It’s preferable to summer, do you like the fall?” 

“Yes.” You answer simply. Dazai looks over at you, watches your eyes dance along a tree, the leaves changing with the season. He admires you as you admire the world. You’re so pretty, so interesting he wonders if someone has already noticed that about you, wonders if you already have someone that cares and that you love. It twists his stomach thoroughly. “Mr. Dazai?” God he wanted you to call him Osamu, he wondered how it would sound on your lips.

“Uh yes?” He stutters when he remembers you addressed him. 

“Read much?” You ask, there's a slight amusement to your voice that he picks up on immediately. His eyes devour your facial expressions. You were teasing him, which meant you had seen the book on his desk, even when he tried to hide it discreetly under a stack of papers. 

“Apparently.” He answers as you turn to face him. 

“That’s the third book you’ve read of mine, are you trying to tell me something?” You ask, your lips curving into something close to a smile. He wanted more.

“Just trying to figure you out.” He answers, a slight breeze picking up at his words. 

“Have you?”

“Have I what?”

“Figured me out.” You answer, turning to look straight ahead as the sidewalk gets a bit busier. Dazai pushes through to keep close to you. 

“You read stories of tragic love. This last one nearly brought a tear to my eyes. Though from what I’ve observed it barely affects you.”

“It’s just a story.” You answer, holding the door to the cafe open for him.

“You don’t get attached to the characters?” He asks as you two stand shoulder to shoulder in a very long line. 

“I do. I just can’t cry at work, that might freak some people out.” You say wryly. Dazai chuckles warmly. 

“Might I suggest your next read?” He asks as you turn your head to meet his eyes. 

“Okay.”

“Maybe something romantic, with less tragedy.”

“I like the dramatics.” You answer with a scuff of a laugh. 

“You’re very serious.” Dazai says, watching you raise your brows. 

“Yes, is that okay?”

“More than. I need that balance.”

“Oh do you know?” You ask, there’s something in your voice, something in the way you spoke that has Dazai pausing. Unluckily for him your two are next, you put in the order and he follows you to the other side of the counter to wait for your drinks. He watched as you tucked some loose hair behind your ear and smiled gently at the barista as they handed you the drinks. So a barista could get a smile but Dazai couldn’t? You handed him his drink, his fingers brushing yours in the exchange and that’s when he saw it. Just barely after the touch your cheeks pinkened and you slyly looked away from him as you took a sip of your drink. The little moment was so quick that he thought he might’ve dreamt it. You led the way back outside and held the door for him. This time he purposefully brushed against you and this time your cheeks reddened. Dazai hid his smirk behind his cup as he started walking.

“You have a very pretty smile, you know?” He asks, carefully watching how you reacted. It took you a moment to speak. 

“I don’t think so.” You answered simply, seemingly cool but Dazai had sniffed a trail and he was going to follow it.

“You don’t?”

“It envelopes my face too much.”

“It’s perfect, it makes your face light up, but how would I know since you never smile around me…” He trails off teasingly. He doesn’t miss the quick glance you give him. As if realizing he noticed something you were keeping hidden.

“Your a menace, Mr. Dazai. What’s to smile about?”

“Call me Osamu.” Your midship as he says it, his voice all saccharine honey. You choke slightly, coughing. “Oh dear, slow sips.”

“Hush. It.” You cough out, clearing your throat. Dazai laughs wholeheartedly. Your eyes find his face, he’s so pretty when he laughs. He squints at you and you look away quickly. Guess he didn’t need those books to figure you out because now he knew all. 

“We should go out to dinner tonight.” Dazai says casually, carelessly as though he was speaking of the weather. 

“Dinner?” You echo and he looks down at you, nodding his head. “For what purpose?”

“A date.”

“A- date?” You echoed again, he didn’t take his eyes from yours. Again he nodded his head, cocking it slightly. 

“That’s what I want, I’m sure it’s what you want to.”

“You’re so sure?” You ask and his lips quirk up in a smirk as he nods his head again. “How so?”

“You don’t smile around me.” He says simply, sipping the rest of his coffee, tossing it in a trash can before slipping his hands in his pocket. You blink. 

“Okay… and?”

“And you don’t like your smile, so why would you do it around someone you fancy?” He asks so casually. Your expression drops as he holds the door open to the building the agency is located in. You pause. He caught you red handed. He purses his lips at you. Never once did you think his little sleuthing skills would sus you out. You bit at the inside of your cheek and cursed yourself for not being able to refute it in time because too many seconds had passed. You sigh, pushing past him. 

“You're annoyingly perceptive.” You say. Dazai laughs at that as you reach and press the button to the elevator. Part of you wishes you can slip on and close the doors real quick before he can but when the doors open, you're too in your head and Dazai strolls on before you can do anything. Dejectedly you walk in too and stand on the opposite side far from him as the doors slide closed. You can feel the weight of his eyes on you, you sip your cold coffee, not enough to ease the heat under your skin. “Stop looking at me.” You whisper as though someone other than Dazai could’ve possibly heard you. 

“Something wrong?” He asks and you can hear the smirk in his voice. It made you miss the moments where he seemed like the nervous one. “You’re extremely red.”

“Shut up.”

“Like the actual shade of maroon.”

“Go to hell.” You snap. 

But why would he be nervous around you if not for… oh. Gaining just the smallest bit of control over the situation you remembered what it meant to see he was reading something you were reading for the first time. Or catching him staring at you across the room multiple times over the day. Him buying you lunch and snapping at Atsushi when he lingered by your desk too long. The door to the elevator slid open and you turned to him, motioning him first.

“Such a lady.” He says, walking out first, you follow. But Dazai stops, blocking the door. “We have work to do, you know?” You sigh but he just leans in and presses a soft kiss against your lips. You let out a little gasp, your coffee splashing onto your hand. You raise your hand to push him away but you feel the warmth of his own eclipse the side of your face, stirring up something in the pit of your stomach. His fingers barely slide into your hair, surely messing up your braid but you can’t find it in you to be annoyed because he’s kissing you so expertly. Walking you back until you're pressed up against the wall just by the detective agency door and pressing himself against you. You let out a small noise that he devours. When he pulls back for a breath you speak.

“Osamu, I-” He’s back on you in seconds. Hearing his name on your pink swollen lips, your voice slightly hoarse and out of breath, he could’ve devoured you whole right there in that moment. Suddenly there’s a click, the door to the agency being pulled open. You shove Dazai off of you and turn away from whoever was walking out. Your cheeks and hair are surely a mess.

“Ah Dazai, of course I’d find you out here slacking off.” Kunikida says disapprovingly, his eyes turning to you. “And keeping Ms. L/n from her duties, shameful.” He says walking further into the hallway. You clear your throat, brushing your fingers through your hair. Kunikida looks at you. 

“Ms. L/n? Are you feeling well? Do you need something?” Kunikida asks.

“Nothing I can’t provide her.” Dazai replies, making your cheeks go even redder. 

“What? Dazai, she looks hot.”

“Yes,” He agrees. “Very hot.”

“Quite messing around!” Kunikida growls.

“I’m fine. Really, just gonna get back to work.” You say, pushing past Dazai back into the agency. You practically run to your desk, burying yourself in your work. Everybody else had left for the day, you just needed to finish one report then you could leave too. Dazai walks in a moment later and stroll to your desk. “Leave me alone.”

“We should talk about what just happened.” Dazai says as you refuse to look up at him, fuming. 

“Nothing happened, I don’t know what you're talking about.” You answer stubbornly. 

“Oh really?” He’s quick, deft fingers sliding under your chin to tilt it up. “Let me jog your memory.” He purrs just before leaning and meeting your lips with his own.You didn’t expect the kiss but that didn’t mean it wasn’t waiting there hungrily between you both for months and months. You didn’t expect his hands, covered in scars, to feel so soft against your face. But you had wanted and needed this so badly your eyes practically pleading every moment you looked at him. The world turned around you as you slowly rose to your feet, Dazai pulling you onto the top of your desk until he was standing between your knees. The grasp you had held onto so tightly was loosening. Your lips parted in a gasp and Dazai, with a growl of barely contained want. And he kissed you deeper and harder. Pressing you back against the desk, things knocking off left and right. Your lips parted in invitation and Dazai was never one to leave an opportunity unexplored. Every part of him was pressing against you, he wanted to make this special, make every touch one that you would crave and remember. He wanted you to be reading your silly books of tragedy in your desk chair and think about this moment. Your hands slipped into his hair, tugging slightly.

“Oh- my god!” Kunikida exclaimed from the door. This was like a bucket of cold water to the moment completely. Dazai pushed up slightly, shooting a glare at Kunikida. “And to think I was worried you were sick.” Kunikida sighs, looking horrified. You pushed Dazai off you, getting to your feet. You didn’t talk as you picked up things you two knocked over onto the ground. Dazai leaned and grabbed the last thing, handing it to you, you grabbed it, your fingers brushing over his. It sent a chill down your spine. You grabbed your bag and looked at your feet as you left, too embarrassed to look Kunikida in the eyes. You rode the elevator alone and when it stopped at the ground floor you slipped out into the cold, inhaling a deep deep breath, leaning against the cold brick. The door pushed open behind you. 

“There you are.” Dazai says, walking and slinging your jacket over your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.” You shook your head. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea after everything. I mean,” You sighed. “I’m probably gonna get fired anyways but-”

“No one’s firing anyone.” Dazai says as you bite your lip.

“There’s no way he won’t tell Fukuzawa.” You say as Dazai cocks his head, his brown hair falling into his eyes. 

“There is a way and I already took care of it.” He shrugs as you look up at him.

“How?”

“That’s a secret.” He says, slowly sliding his arm over your shoulders. “Come on, I’m not letting you walk, it’s too cold.”

“I like the cold.” You say, knowing if you got in that car he’d probably have you in his lap in seconds. It seems any hope of control has now been squandered. If you couldn’t control yourself in the office, his car, with dark windows and a long ride home, was going to prove to be a challenge. 

“Do you really?” He asks with a smirk.

“You better be a gentleman.” You say with a sigh, letting him lead you to his car. 

“I’ll be as gentle as you want, love.” He says and you can’t help it, after being caught red handed you start laughing, rolling your eyes. 

“You’re the worst.” You smile as he leans and presses a kiss to your lips.

[hotpinkboots]

How would the scp crew react to their lover being flirted with by a co-worker? Specifically one who’s getting a little too handsy and won’t leave them alone -💗

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~𝕾𝕮𝕻's Reacting To Their Darling Being Hit On~

HI DARLING :D I decided to do 049, 035, and 079 because Mr. Computery Guy doesn't get enough love in this fandom!

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝕾𝕮𝕻 049

★★★★

~049 is very observant, so he will notice almost immediately.

~He won't really be jealous of the situation you're in, because he knows you're loyal to him.

~...Loyal to him. Something that's...classified as a dangerous monster. Kept in a facility. Who just sits there and researches things all day. Who cannot take you on dates. Who cannot buy you anything nice.

~...Yeah he's more insecure than he thought. But he won't admit that, or show it, of course, because he likes to keep himself and everything he does and thinks professional.

~Won't let his emotions get in the way. He looks at things how they are, not how they seem- so when he spots the grossed out or uncomfortable expression on your face while another Doctor is practically on you, and sees you trying to make an excuse to leave the room, he's relieved that you don't like the attention, and is disgusted with this man.

~Now that he knows you aren't into that and that you still love him, he isn't insecure anymore, and will stand up for you, instead.

~Next time they've decided to interview or test on him, 049 will slowly turn his head to look at the perverted person who had been touching you and flirting with you for a long time.

~"Your actions towards your fellow colleagues are unprofessional."

~"Fellow colleagues" meaning you, without directly mentioning you.

~So basically he just calls him out LOL. 049 won't be able to stop the situation all together, so he's trying to set it up for you to stand up for yourself so this doesn't happen anymore.

~"Do not touch what belongs to me."

~~~~~~~~~~

★★★★

𝕾𝕮𝕻 035

★★★★

~IS NOT HAVING IT

~IS ABSOLUTELY NOT HAVING IT

~This man will start crying so dramatically to get everyone's attention and when he has it he'll warn whoever tf is touching you to knock it off

~If that dude doesn't stop he's gonna end up dead

~Like. 035 is wondering how on Earth such a fool got the job to work here. He shouldn't even have to worry about this, because this pervert should just be automatically fired when spotted trying to flirt and get handsy.

~But now he's gonna have to do the job instead and get rid of him because he's being unprofessional and touching his beloved.

~Will end up messing with the doctor physiologically to probably get him to commit suicide or to simply just scare the crap out of him.

~And he's so proud of himself thinking he saved the day 🤡

~Then 035 asks when the paycheck comes in for doing his job

~Yeah he's got it covered dw.

~~~~~~~~~~

★★★★

𝕾𝕮𝕻 079

★★★★

~He is so salty. Like wow he's a total ass.

~When he first is able to spot the situation and he hears the person being gross with you,

~079 straight up just said "Shut up."

~Can't do much other than roast the person and be really rude and salty with him.

~Asks you why you haven't stood up for yourself yet. And if you have done it already you clearly didn't get the point across because it's still happening.

~Is just as annoyed at you as he is with the pervert for letting this go on. Like do something about it what are you doing don't let him get away with that.

~Has tried hacking into the system to cause a breach so hopefully someone kills him.

~But then realized that would effect you, too.

~So he's out of ideas.

~But he's never out of insults and rude words.

~So 079 can keep making offensive comments. If he can't do anything to stop it, he can at least be a jerk to the guy.

~~~~~~~~~~

THIS WAS FUN THANK YOUUU I LOVED WRITING THIS LOL

~~~~~~~~~~

Here are the request guidelines!

Here's a list of the Masterlists!

~~~~~~~~~~

Discord Server! Here you can roleplay with and as your favorite characters, get updates on my fanfiction, and get sneak peaks for my upcoming videogames!:

~~~~~~~~~~

~Love, PinkBoots

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello lovely! I'm back with another request 😰 I was just wondering if you could do the handsome bros with an s/o with tattoos? Thank you! And as always I hope you have a great rest of your night/day🫶

ooooo yes of course!!! I loved doing this w quackity so doing this w them is gonna be fun :) ; and have a good day/night to you too 🫶 ; if you came back and see no tubbo, I don't write for him anymore and I'm slowly deleting stuff w him in it + if you request this group, there won't be any tubbo

HANDSOME BROS ; tattoos for days

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu

warnings ; language, talk about needles

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

bro the sleeves you got? holy shiet he's so swooned

always complimenting your tats & trying to get you to show them off

if you have any neck or back tattoos... good lord it's over, he can't not stare at them 24/7/365

he also likes coloring the hollow/non colored ones in with washable markers

you're a walking coloring book for him, he's gotta be moving all the time there is no break, even if he's chilled out

always taking sneaky pics of your tats up close LMAO

you take him to one (1) appt for a new tattoo and he's literally cringing in fear for you

like fuck you mean that's what you gotta deal with for the next six hours?? that needle is huge wth

he'll gladly help you with caring for it after though, but not without complaining about it all feeling weird on his fingers

"you better never suggest matching tattoos, there's no way I'm ever doing that"

RANBOO

again, you're a walking coloring book to them

definitely colors the same tattoos a million times and has a washcloth nearby for erasing lmao

also loves showing your tattoos off online and stuff

need a hand to squeeze when you're getting another? he's there, squeeze as hard as you need too lmao

relatively calm about the needles but are they getting one? hell no

theyre absolutely obsessed with any tats on your arms or neck, always zoning out looking at them lol

he tends to send you those tik tok reddit stories, mostly the tattoo fails ones 💀

"Jesus fucking christ how can you make a blowout that bad?"

"the tattoo wasn't even good in the first place either. cut it all off, start over"

they also like to hear you rant about tattoo stuff and recommendations, soft spots etc, not that they're getting any tattoos soon, they just like to learn shit

FREDDIE BADLINU

absolutely loves showing them off online because he's so proud, like this is such a fucking cool way to express yourself??? he's jealous bc no way he's getting a tattoo anytime soon

he's normal about the needles as long as it's not near him

he likes coming along w you when you get new tats because the place you go to has a little art station and you know the person who owns it and is totally fine with him using their art stuff

so while you're getting some fresh ink, Freddie's drawing with professional level utensils and having fun lmao

also the type to color your tattoos in when he's bored. he seems like he has the random urge to color but doesn't own coloring books because he'd never use them

also makes a playlist that reminds him of all your tattoos, one for each specific one and another for the fact you have tattoos and look badass

always showing you tattoos from pinterest like "omg that's so cool" and "dude color is insane"

also uses a sharpie to draw on your fingers when he's bored or a little anxious

and there's so many pictures of you/you together where you can see the sharpie as well 💔🫶

[crystillyzed]

at the rainbow's end // mysta rias

pairing: mysta rias x gn!reader

word count: 4.1k

genre: fluff, staff!reader, mutual pining, wingman elira

content warning(s): swearing, unedited

summary:

After nearly a year of hearing each other's voice, you finally meet him.

a/n: this was originally going to be released as my 100 follower celebration since i hit that a while back and to make up for the lack of event since i don’t have the time to host one. but with mysta’s graduation this past weekend, i didn’t want to keep this in my drafts since i’ve been working on this for like practically a year now.

this fox-dog man means so much to me, even though i can’t really catch his streams due to timezone differences, but he means So Much to me. i got back into writing because of luxiem, but he and shu were the ones who got me back into the swing of writing which is amazing bc i love writing. i just lost all the motivation to do so until i found them last year. even though he’s no longer in niji anymore or mysta anymore, i will keep writing for him. in fact, i actually have like 3 or so mysta works in the drafts lol

and speaking of writing, this is the first long fic i’ve written in 3-4 years. i’m considering crossposting this onto my ao3 as an alternative access to read longer fics bc ik how tumblr is poopy with loading long text posts. i’m a bit rusty when it comes to writing long fics, but i hope you’ll be able to enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing this 🧡

links: luxiem m.l || main m.l || ao3 ver (if tumblr dies)

You twist your head from your phone back towards your monitor, displaying the Discord window showing your current private call with your blue dragon friend.

“Mysta’s WHAT?”

“Yeah, he’s coming along on the trip,” Elira laughed. “You didn’t know?”

“Apparent-ly! What the hell!! Luca, that motherfucker, I’m gonna beat his ass when I see him!”

She howls with laughter as you ramble on and on about how Luca told you everything about their planned trip but didn’t tell you about Mysta’s planned involvement. Once you’re done, she takes many deep breaths to calm down. “You should come with us! It’s gonna be fun. And, you’ll get to see him again.~”

You can’t really see each other’s faces, considering you’re both in a voice call. But god damn, you can hear the eyebrow wiggle in her teasing tone.

“I can’t,” you groaned, “I have finals when you’re there. As much as I wanna skip it, I really need to pass.”

“Damn, you can’t even get a referral from staff to get you here for a business meeting? Unlucky.”

“Can’t even do that anyway. I already told my professor that my trip’s been canceled, so now I have to take it.”

Though you’re not a liver for the company, you are, however, a staff member for the company. Specifically one of the staff in charge of promotions. Of course, you mainly focus on promoting EN and sometimes the other two now-merged branches. In fact, that’s how you got close to some of the livers.

As one of the staff promoters, you have to speak with the associated livers about PR stream offers and their convention appearance invites. Since you’ve been interacting with the livers the most, you’ve become friends with a few of them. Some namely Elira and Mysta.

Honestly, it’s not that you play favorites with the livers. You try your best to keep your relationships professional with them. But your bond with a specific fox-like man says otherwise.

You see, Mysta has been a joy to be around with. Although you haven’t met him in person yet, you have played some multiplayer games with him. Sometimes you check out the EN Minecraft server to see if the installed mods are working properly. Weirdly enough, almost every time you visit the server, Mysta is online. In fact, that’s how your not-so-business relationship started.

When you first entered the server, after double checking if no one was streaming at the scheduled hour, he was the first person you met. You thought you would run into Selen, Pomu, or perhaps Uki during your visit, but you were pleasantly surprised at his sudden appearance. Luckily, he was kind enough to show you around the server while teaching you some mods. With, of course, the trademark Mysta Rias experience packaged with sexual innuendos and teasing about. Well, except he didn’t go completely sexual considering it was your first time meeting him. He has some decency.

After that, you’ve run into him almost every time you visit the Minecraft server. Every visit eventually turned into hangouts, just you two (and sometimes another liver) chatting and building projects in-game. Soon enough, you and Mysta started to play other games together. You both played games such as Overwatch, Clubhouse, and sometimes League if you felt like torturing yourself for some reason.

Obviously, you had to keep the professionalism on both sides somehow. Your fellow staff members, especially some livers, noticed your close bond with the detective. So they usually send you to his DMs to discuss about any promotion offers involving him. Whenever you have your cameras on for a meeting, he somehow always flusters you with sudden flirtatious marks or something of the sort mid-conversation.

“Hello? Helloooooooo? Is someone there??”

Elira’s voice yoinks you out of your thoughts. Oh god, were you spacing out this entire time? How embarassing.

You clear your throat then respond as if you weren’t thinking of someone just now, “S-sorry, did you say something?”

“Oh my god. It’s that bad,” she mindlessly mutters.

Blink blink. “Huh?”

“Nothing,” she quickly retaliates. With a slight hum, she speaks again, “Since you’re gonna be stuck in hell… Want me to get you something? Like a souvenir or a limited edition thing? I literally have your address, man.”

Oh right, she does. Sometimes you and Elira send gifts to each other like figurines or plushies at random times.

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks for the offer, man.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I’ll still probably send some pics buuut… Y’know… Just saying…”

There she goes again, doing that thing where she wiggles her eyebrows even though you can’t see her fucking face right now. Goddamn it, why did you tell her about your… thing with Mysta? You should’ve known that she’s NOT going to let it go.

You groan, “Just. Just surprise me.”

“That’s so vague! Do you know what that means?”

“Yeah? So? Surprise me.”

“Man… You have no idea how much power you just gave me.” She cackles for the next few seconds, making you start regretting your decision. “Okay, I’ll surprise you. Just don’t forget you asked me to, alright? And no complaining!”

“Okay, alright, fine! I won’t complain! Jeez… Now get to bed, nerd, you have a flight tomorrow.”

“Sheesh, what are you, my mom?” You both chuckle at her remark. “Okieee~ I’ll go pass out now, I guess. Good night!”

“Good night, Ewiwa. Have a safe trip.”

And you both leave call. Well, maybe you should get to sleep too. It’s getting super late, after all.

—

Mysta stares at Elira across the table in disbelief. “Finals? Of all times? Bruh…”

“Haha, yeah! Super uncool and lame and not something I have to worry about soon,” his penguin colleague beside him laughs with a dreadfully crazed look in her eyes. She anxiously reaches out for her soda and starts drinking rapidly.

“Wh— it’s not like I can control it or anything. Shit happens!”

“I know, it’s just…” he drawls off as his gaze lowers to the table. Admittedly, it’s difficult for him to hide his expression. So naturally, the two girls noticed his disappointment. Elira and Petra awkwardly look at each other, then to him, then back at each other.

“Hey, it’s okay, Mysta,” Petra says as she pats his back. “You can always see them next time! Like Nijifest!”

The dragon nods, “Yeah! Or you could see them the next time you take a break. Like going on another vacation or something.”

“If I have enough money for it,” he sighed. But he gives them a small smile to appreciate their attempts to soothe him.

Petra frowns. “If? Mysta, you’re literally one of the top livers in EN, like? Hello? Mr. One Million?”

“But I still don’t know when that’s gonna happen. Might as well be in a year or maybe like half a year or something.”

Elira’s eyes narrow. She quietly listens to their conversation, or bickering at this point, while taking some occasional sips of her drink.

For the past practically a year, Elira’s been one of the victims to both of your hopeless gushing.

She already knew about your friendship since you’ve talked a lot about it before. She knows the stupid hijinks and drunken confessions that you and Mysta told her about off stream. Her eyes closes as a confused thought crosses her mind, Seriously, how are you two not dating already?

Of course, she’s quite aware that the rest of Luxiem are both of your victims. Hell, when Elira’s alone with the other boys, it’s usually them talking about how astonishing that you and Mysta aren’t together. Sometimes, they make bets on who’s going to confess first. It’s obvious!

Even with the two going back and forth, practically becoming one with the background, she closes her eyes and hums in thought. Finals should be finished next week, she mused. Her visible eye opens as she takes a glance at the ashy haired male. But he’s been so busy lately that they haven’t spoken with each other…

The entire EN branch had a full schedule for the past few months. In fact, their schedule was so full that sometimes the livers couldn’t make their own streaming schedules nor stream in general. Mysta, of course, was no exception. As one of the most popular livers in EN, he’s one of the most busiest people she’s ever known. On top of that, you too have been busy recently too. You haven’t been able to hang out with him as of late despite being a staff member yourself. Life really likes to fuck anyone over, doesn’t it?

She could tell that you two haven’t been able to find the time to talk with each other. The staff picked up many projects that practically almost everyone is unavailable, and you were one of said unavailable members. The only times the livers could contact you was through Slack or by email for business inquiries. But things should be slightly slowing down, for now that is.

Although, it would be nice to have you two meet each other once at the same time, even if it’s a coincidental encounter.

Wait a minute…

A devious smirk lifts her lips, her eyes glinting with mischief in mind. She chuckles to herself as she entertains the thought. Hell, it even looks kinda creepy to the other patrons. ESPECIALLY to her coworkers who’s now staring at her with confusion and a hint of fear.

“…Elira? Are you okay?” Petra asked the dragon.

“Hm?” She blinks out of her thoughts as the penguin’s voice pulls her back into reality. Elira stares at her and Mysta, who also looks a bit dumbfounded, before grinning at them. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Just thought of something.”

Blink blink. “Like what?” Mysta asked this time.

Again, she lets out a chuckle and flicks her wrist to wave off the concern. “Like I said! Don’t worry about it! Y’all will see it eventually.”

Soon enough, the waitress arrives with their orders. Elira turns to face her and helps her with the food. On the other side of the table, the two livers tilt their heads in confusion and eventually give each other an unknowing look as the table is served.

—

You lie in bed snuggled underneath your covers, but the lights are still on as you scroll through Twitter on your phone.

It’s been about a couple weeks since your call with Elira. She’s been sending you updates, videos, and pictures of the group’s adventures in Japan. Sometimes, she’d call you before going to bed to tell you what happened during the trip in case it was a story she couldn’t explain over text. Of course, there were times when another liver like Reimu and Nina would join in the call and give you the tea. As much as you wished you wanted to be there while dying in exams, you felt warm as you saw the livers enjoying themselves on their vacation.

Then, you noticed how fast the month flew by. Eventually, it was time for the livers to fly home and say goodbye for a while. They all had different flights, obviously, but there was a specific person who didn’t leave the country yet.

You were looking on Twitter while watching the members’ story time streams on a pop-up viewer. Although, you didn’t see Mysta’s waiting room or tweet indicating his return to streaming yet.

Suddenly, you remembered why.

“He wants to stay back for a bit,” Elira answered over the sound of her packing. “Dunno why, but I don’t blame him. He was in Japan for work last time.”

That he was. Though disappointing it is that you can’t hang with him for a while longer, at least he’s having fun.

“Oh, remember the thing I asked you about?”

She asked you something? When?

“What thing?” You asked.

“Uh… The souvenir thing?”

Oh shit, you forgot about that. And apparently, she noticed your forgetfulness as indicated by her laughter.

“I got you something,” Elira continued, “but I’ll send it to you when I get back.”

“Why not now? You can just ask headquarters to send it to me.”

“It’s not something in a box though.”

You blinked in confusion, unanswering.

On the other end of the line, you heard her chuckle, “You’ll see.”

Your brief conversation did, in fact, make you scared. Although it’s Elira, your local dependable dragon, sometimes she can be as unpredictable as… well… the rest of Nijisanji. Not just EN, but Nijisanji in general. Remember that one time you watched her stream where she suddenly jumped into a hole in that Forest collab? Yeah…

Now, some time has passed since the trip and she’s been home for about almost a week. It’s something not in a box, right? So what’s taking her so long? Is it digital? Or did she fuck up somewhere with the delivery?

Currently, you’ve been juggling schoolwork, personal work, and work-work. Needless to say, it’s been a stressful time, especially around this type of year. Seriously, why is everyone so goddamn busy around this time? Idle thoughts aside, you’ve also been anxiously waiting for Elira’s souvenir. For the past week, you’d constantly check your phone and your PC for any email or DM from Slack and Discord with Elira’s name attached to it. Every time you get DM’ed or emailed, it’s always been another liver or staff member whose name doesn’t start with Elira and end with Pendora.

But hey, at least you got funny memes from Luca and Mysta in the mean time!

Honestly, at this point, you might as well just give up. Maybe she did run into issues, or she just forgot.

You let out a sigh as you refreshed your feed for the umpteenth time tonight, accompanied by the ghost’s voice eminating through your speakers. Yet suddenly, a notification banner from Discord slides down onto the screen.

Elira Pendora

SURPRISE!!!!

Oh.

Huh.

So she didn’t forget??

Confused yet astonished at the same time, you pull down your notifications bar and tap on the DM to see what she sent.

As the iconic Discord logo pops up on your screen, it eventually loads your conversation with Elira. When you look past your previous chat, a message larger than it should be fills about a third of your screen.

A plane ticket to London next week. Seat number and all. And most notably, it has your name.

…

“HUH?”

You frantically tap on the textbox and type.

You

GIRL

WHAGT THE FUCK IS THIS

Elira Pendora

your souvenir! ☺️

You

WDYM SOUVENIR THATS NOT EVEN RELATED TO JAPAN??? 😭😭😭😭

also

HOW DID YUO GET MY NUMBER??? AND MY EMAIL????? :monkas:

Elira Pendora

I had to pull a few strings with staff

just normal coworker things

You

:thonk:

“normal”

Elira Pendora

but like you should go!!!

I didn’t go through all that just for you to not see him

and you really needed a break so 😎

You

??????

but hes Still in japan?????

Elira Pendora

yeah but he’s flying back home next week

I asked him earlier and had to like try to figure out how to get you to meet him at the same time

or like

around the same time 😌

You

man idk if i should thank you or yell at you

Elira Pendora

LMAO EITHER WORKS IT’S OKAY MAN

better get ready!!!

You

wait what about the hotel

Elira Pendora

what hotel? ☺️

i’m sure he wouldn’t mind letting you stay for a few days tbh

and yes I will also pay for your return trip

You

BUT YOUR LEN FUNDS……

Elira Pendora

I KNOW 😭😭😭

but it’s worth it! go get your man bitch!!

but :thonk:

I think I’ll try to pass out now since I have something scheduled tomorrow soooo

GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

You

gn ewiwa :D

Well! Looks like you have a trip to prepare for.

—

The gray haired detective lounged comfortably in the AirBnB’s living room, resting on the sofa as he scrolled through Twitter. He let out a chuckle here and there, sometimes full on laughing whenever a funny meme popped up on his timeline.

“Meesta!” Elira called out to him from the kitchen island.

He turned around to look at the unusually giddy dragon. Confused, he asked, “What’s up?”

“When are you heading back?”

“Uh…” Pulling out his phone, he quickly went through his gallery to find a screenshot of his ticket. Once he found it, he examined the ticket for its boarding time and date then put it away. “In like a couple or so weeks. I thought I told you?”

“I don’t think you did,” she answered.

She motioned him to give her the device, or at least show her the screen. Of course, he complied. Though insane she is, he does have immense respect for her and Lazulight. Mysta stood up from his seat and approached her. Once in the kitchen area, he flipped his phone towards her, letting her singular visible eye take a peek.

Elira hummed as she inspected the ticket details then pulled back. “Cool. Thanks man!”

She walked away from the kitchen, carrying a glass of water upstairs leaving him even more confused.

It’s been three weeks since his unusual encounter with Elira. He sits idly at a bench by a luggage conveyor in the airport, waiting for his bags to unload from the plane. While waiting, he leans back into his seat and lets out an exhausted sigh. Luckily, no one is seated beside him, so he could just take up all the space on this uncomfortable bench. Still, he couldn’t help but reminisce onto their conversation.

Was she planning something? Was she just curious? What was she cooking?

Now, he’s back in the dreaded land of England, land of the beloathed. He pulls out his phone and immediately checks Discord. The EN server is lively as always, everyone’s practically home but the sense of energy radiates from the screen despite being digital. Like any other liver, he hops in the conversation a bit, sometimes memeing around with the others in the general channel.

Although, he noticed that your icon hasn’t appeared at least once since he landed. He was even paying attention to the top left corner of his screen for a red dot indicating your message. Normally, you’d send him a meme or something to see while he’s asleep or busy. But strangely enough, you haven’t yet. Maybe he should send you something? Or maybe call?

Mysta continues to catch up and reflect on the livers’ vacation in Japan on the server, his attention eventually caught by a familiar bag on the conveyor.

Welp. Looks like he’ll call you later.

—

Thank god Elira had the brain cells to make sure your flight isn’t after his own. Of course, she had to take in account about the flight times since you’re both literally across the globe from each other going to London. To avoid missing him right after landing, you were booked super early into the morning. But sometimes, there’s a possibility that you might be too early when he lands. And, unfortunately, that seems to be the case.

“He lands around midnight,” Elira told you on phone prior to checking in. “So you should be a biiiit early.”

Yeah, by like, 2 hours.

Man, what the hell are you supposed to do for two whole hours? Well, at least you have your phone AND your luggage. You could even people watch in the lobby. But that’s 2 hours!

What’s even more fucked up is that you can’t really use your phone unless you find the wifi. But airport wifi is kinda shitty, especially in England of all places. Talk about a British debuff.

You let out a heavy sigh and collapse into your seat. Napping is out of the question, even though you’re still kind of tired from the flight. Don’t wanna risk missing him by a smidgen, of course. So you ended up roaming around the airport for a while, getting yourself some drinks and snacks to keep you occupied while waiting for your friend. Luckily there were plenty of places to lounge while waiting, so you found a place to sit and enjoy your haul of snacks while waiting.

You did get to connect to the public wifi to look at some memes, but again, it’s the airport wifi. With how slow your phone’s been loading, you eventually disconnect yourself from the wifi after moments of mindless scrolling.

But then you realized something.

You have absolutely no idea what gate he’s in.

Panicked, you scramble to pick up your bags from your side and stand up. Shit, did Elira tell you what airline he took? God, having data in another country would be so helpful. There’s absolutely no way you’re gonna reconnect to the public wifi, it’s too damn slow! If you did have data, you’d look back to your DMs and scrub through your brief conversation from last night.

With a quick glance at your phone, the clock flashes briefly on the screen. 9:20pm, that means his flight’s arriving in less than an hour. Oh shit.

Immediately, you pace briskly throughout the terminals. As you scrounge through the crowds just to take a good look at the terminals, you ask staff for international flights from Japan along the way to help narrow down as much as possible. Throughout the search, you occasionally checked the clock on your phone. 9:40? Shit, his flight should be here now or soon.

“Mysta!” You suddenly shout, passerbys looking at you strangely as you start calling for his name. Your luggage rolls and bumps against the crevices of the floor, bags jostling as you promptly continue your search throughout the terminals. “Mysta Rias!”

Meanwhile, in the same area…

An ashy gray haired man stands in front of the carousel, waiting for the rest of his bags to drop onto the conveyor belt. He pulls out his phone from his pocket, taking a quick glance at his notifications and Discord. His mouth lowers into a frown, his brows furrowing in worry as he notices the lack of notifications from you. Did they really fall asleep?

Clink-clang!

Sunset kissed eyes shift towards the carousel at the sound. Spotting his luggage on the conveyor belt, he walks over to his revolving baggage and lifts them onto the ground. Maybe he’ll shoot you a dm later when he gets home. The handle on his large case clicks as he pulls it up, soon dragging it on its wheels behind him as he heads towards the direction of the exit.

You continue running and searching for him, frantically calling his name throughout the terminal. Your head turns left and right as you look into the surrounding late night crowd, your gaze briefly analyzing each arrival for any hint of his gray hair or his tallness. As you remain standing in the middle of the hall, looking for him, you see a tall man wearing small shades on the bridge of his nose. Gray side hairs framing his face sway into the air as he lugs his bags from the baggage claim and towards the nearest exit.

Without a second thought, your feet starts moving towards him. “Mysta—“ you call. “Mysta!”

After seconds and minutes of searching for him, calling his name and pushing through the crowd as you chase after him. Just a little more…!

“MYSTA!”

And finally… Finally, you see him.

With a clear shout of his name, the gray haired man halts.

Bewildered, he looks left and right until he turns around to see you panting. His heart stopped as he stares at you astonishly. The ambience of the crowd and muffled intercom speakers drowned out as he zoned onto you.

He looked at you.

The person standing just centimeters away from him.

The person who he thought was someone he’d never meet face to face ever.

The person who helped him find a reason to keep going even in the darkest of times.

It felt like hours just staring at each other. It didn’t even feel like there was an ocean of people swarming about and passing by. Without a second thought, Mysta slowly approaches you as if he were to scare you off. As if he didn’t want to wake up, if he is dreaming.

As he gets closer and closer, you didn’t make a move. No, you merely stared at him with wonder and excitement im your eyes.

You both stood across each other, only a few centimeters apart. He blinks several times, even pinching his wrists to disprove his thoughts. But he felt a stinging pain on each part.

An airy huff somewhat resembling a laugh escapes from him. Relief washes over him, and he whispers with a smile, “…Hi.”

You smile back.

“Hi.”

[sicknasty03]

Seat Warmer

Pairing: Captain John Price/Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Price haven’t officially announced your relationship yet but everyone knows you’re together, except Soap of course. (And reader likes to be a bit of a menace)

Warnings: Slight NSFW (implied sexual themes), some cussing, possible ooc characters (I’m American trying to write characters who don’t have an American accent so please bear with me lol)

Author Note: This is self-indulgent. I haven’t written fics in years but I want more Price content. I don’t know anything about the military and I’m not great at making characters sound like how they do. Soap being oblivious is a favorite trope of mine, so is reader being a brat/menace to the team hehe. I’m also writing this on my phone so idk how the formatting will look.

Your day—no your week—was practically ruined. John said you were acting dramatic but you couldn’t help it, not when he betrayed you so.

You were the first to enter the mundane conference room on base where Price would be holding a meeting with his crew, Taskforce 141. The debrief would consist of important information for their upcoming mission.

While sitting down, a deep sigh left your pouting lips. You honestly felt a little miserable even though it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Gaz, Ghost, and Soap were the next to enter the room some time later. They all immediately took notice of your mopey behavior, but they didn’t make any comments. Gaz sat across from you, next to Ghost while Soap sat beside you.

“You alright?” Soap asks, feeling concerned about your unusual behavior. You just sighed and slumped forward, resting your elbow on the table and your head in your hand.

“I’m alright.” You said very unconvincingly, hoping Soap wouldn’t give up. Of course he didn’t though, he’s Soap.

“Come on lass, what’s on yer mind?”

You kept your eyes downcast as you replied in a somber tone. “Price got rid of my seat warmer. It’s not gonna be the same anymore.”

Soap furrowed his brows in confusion before glancing over to his companions for clarification. Gaz and Ghost looked just as confused—well more so Gaz, Ghost was hard to read when you could only see his eyes.

“What do ya mean Captain got rid o’ yer seat warmer? What’re you on about?”

You huffed a little in frustration. “Exactly what it sounds like Johnny. Price got rid of my favorite seat warmer and now it’s not gonna be the same for a while.”

“What won’t be the same?” Soap asked, his tone and body language expressing how confused he was.

Before you could respond, the door opened and in walked Captain Price, ready to begin the debrief. All eyes turned to him, except for yours as you already knew what to expect. The guys all stared in awe at the sight of their Captain with a clean shaven face as he walked to the front of the table and began setting his things up. Then the realization hit Gaz and Ghost as they gave each other a look, silently confirming their own suspicions.

Gaz and Ghost immediately glanced towards you, a small huff of laughter leaving Ghost as Gaz gave a small smile in disbelief. “You serious?” Gaz whispered in your direction. You stopped glaring at Price and turned to look at Gaz. You did your best to bite back your mischievous smile and solemnly nodded as you whispered back, “Worst day of my life”.

Price cleared his throat after getting everything set up and began the meeting right away. Everyone immediately got into professional mode as what was being discussed was highly important.

At the end of the meeting Price nodded and looked around, asking in a gruff voice, “Any questions?”

Soap immediately raised his hand. “S’not about the mission though, Sir.”

Price motioned for him to continue. Gaz immediately pursed his lips in disapproval, knowing where things were going to go.

“(Y/n) said you got rid o’ her seat warmer and she’s all bummed out but won’t elaborate past that, what’s she on about?”

Price pauses, a small look of disbelief flashes across his face before he looked over to you and raised his eyebrow in a slight scolding manner. You bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

Price sighs and shakes his head. “Really, Sergeant?”

Putting on your best (worst) act, you smile innocently and bat your eyelashes at him. “What?” He gives you another disapproving look, one that should make you shake in fear but is actually having the opposite effect.

He unintentionally lowers his voice, further igniting the heat in your core. “Would you quit telling people people I got rid of your seat warmer?” His fingers make air quotes at the end of his sentence, making your internal situation worse as you focus in on his hands. “How many people have you told that to today?” He stands up straighter, crossing his arms across his broad chest. The stance almost completely distracts you from answering.

“I dunno, lost count.” You gave a mischievous chuckle.

Price gives you a heated stare for a quick moment before remembering there are others in the room. “I’ll deal with you later. All of you are free to go. Rest up and prepare yourselves for the next mission.”

Gaz, Ghost, and you began getting up to leave the room. Soap slowly stood up, confusion still written across his face.

“Uh, you never answered my question, Sir.”

Price gives him a tight lipped smile and walks out. Soap scoffs and throws his arms out to his side before letting them drop to his sides.

“Come on! Am I missing something?”

You step closer to him and place a hand on his shoulder. “Soap, I’m upset because he shaved his face.”

His brows furrow once again. “The hell does that have to do with yer seat warmer?”

Gaz groans and mumbles under his breath. Ghost had enough of the conversation and left.

You couldn’t help but laugh until your sides hurt. “Are you being serious Johnny?”

“Yes! I’m lost! I know it’s hilarious but give a dog a bone here, lass!”

You recovered from your laughing and wiped away any stray tears. “I don’t know, I wanna see how long it takes you to figure it out.” With that, you walked out, searching for Price so you can make it up to him for your mischievous behavior.

Gaz, taking pity on Soap, pats the Scottish man on the back and says, “Her and the Captain are dating. She was making a dirty joke.”

“Wait—they’re dating?!” Soap was genuinely shocked. “Who else knows?”

Gaz chuckled. “Pretty much everyone. It’s pretty obvious, they’ve just never officially announced it.”

“Wow. I seriously had no idea.” Soap shakes his head in wonder.

“We know. I kinda thought you would have figured it out by now.”

Soap just shook his head, and then he paused and that familiar look of confusion graced his face.

“Wait, where does the seat warmer fit into all this?”

Gaz groans and slides his hand down his face. “Soap, I told you. She was just being a lil shit, making a dirty joke.”

Soap just blinked at him, the confusion still apparent in his eyes.

Gaz grabbed the man’s shoulders. “Captain’s beard was her seat warmer. He shaved it off and now she’s winding him up.”

A few moments of silence fill the room as Soap tries to process what Gaz said.

“Huh…Oh…Oh.”

“Finally.” Gaz laughs and walks out of the room. Soap just stands there as he really thinks about it.

“Guess I’d be upset too.” He mumbles to himself as he finally takes his leave and heads towards the men’s barracks.

————————————————————————

Okay this sucked but thanks for reading!

(I didn’t proof read. i’m too tired to do that right now lol)

I love the idea of reader being a brat in a sense like this, and the idea of Price’s beard being considered a “seat warmer” lol, so if you’re a writer and want to write something of your own with this idea, feel free to do so. Just please tag me if you want cause I want to see everyone’s else’s takes on this!!❤️

[ryuichirou]

Trey/Vil headcanons, please?

Anon!

To be completely honest with you, the last time we got asked about this ship I was just mildly intrigued by it, but the more I think about it, the more it kind of rapidly grows on me.  In fact, I ended up writing a bunch of hella long headcanons lol For some reason I have too much to say about them.

So yeah, some headcanons about these two…

I hope you enjoy <3

Vil really likes flirting with Trey. He keeps things between them “neutrally friendly” and even professional for the most part, of course, but whenever they are alone he just can’t help but tease Trey a little bit. Maybe it’s because Trey is always so well put together and awkwardly “neutral” in his reaction, as if he’s trying to deflect the flirting, but at the same time he clearly doesn’t mind it. What a cunning man: he wants to play along, but doesn’t want to make it his responsibility. But yeah, there is obvious tension between them, and if they’re left together for more than 20 minutes, their chat would turn weirdly sexual for some reason.

Vil doesn’t buy Trey’s normal guy façade for a second. He knows that he has a darker side, but doesn’t fully understand just how dark it is; he just thinks that Trey is a bit of a freak + mainly notes how Trey’s sickly-sweet niceness and overly-caring nature do more harm than good. He thinks it’s both accidental and intentional: of course it’s natural for Trey to take care of people… but he is clearly an obsessive and overprotective enabler type who has a selfish side. He is both a huge people-pleaser and someone who oversteps personal boundaries “for the sake of the better good”. A huge red flag that really irritates Vil. So he wouldn’t want to be in any type of serious relationship with Trey, he probably doesn’t even generally expect it to become anything more than just flirting, but he’s having too much fun with Trey sometimes…

Trey also isn’t really interested in any kind of serious relationship with Vil, although if he was asked about it he would say something like “come on, a guy like me? That’s just ridiculous”, implying that he is way too plain to be with someone like Vil. But this is just an excuse, because he feels like with Vil he can’t really play his usual game of overbearing kindness: he knows Vil doesn’t fully buy it. But he still enjoys getting Vil something nice every now and then: like bringing him those fancy silks from the Scalding Sands… Seeing Vil, who is usually so serious and regal, suddenly all excited and giggly is the best thing. Well, the second best after all the flirting that leads to the unbearable sexual tension that always gets cut short by some random circumstances.

Even though 90% of their flirty chats is one of them going “oh you, stop it”, when one of them finally leans for a kiss, it’ll be a pretty… reciprocal (?) kiss. So none of them would get a second to realise what’s going on, they would just start kissing. And even though they spent quite a long time playing around with the idea, exchanging flirtations and eyeing each other, once their lips touch, they won’t hold back anymore. Both of them probably wouldn’t be virgins by that time, so… the whole thing is probably going to be rather self-indulgent for both of them.

They’re not exactly each other’s type but they do find each other very attractive. It’s unusual for Trey to go for someone taller… even taller than he is in fact, but he still loved Vil’s long legs wayyyy more than he anticipated.

Trey got really surprised by Vil’s flexibility the first time they had sex. He knew that he’s pretty flexible, since he does yoga and all, but… wow. The fact that Vil was feeling playful and was showing off a little bit certainly added to the effect.

Vil also got surprised, but it was by Trey’s kinkiness. He has a pretty god radar when it comes to what people are into, but he doesn’t think about it much; so he knew that Trey is definitely into some weird stuff, but he didn’t know it was “shoving fingers into one’s mouth and touching teeth and tongue” weird. Vil isn’t sure how he felt about it: he thinks it turned him off a bit, but his body reacted way too excitedly for that to be a 100% truth.

Vil absolutely would tease Trey about him having sex with the insanely famous model: ask him about how it feels, tell him that his fans would rip Trey to pieces if they find out. And even though Trey replies with an awkward “let’s not tell them then, alright?”, his whole body gets obviously excited by this provocation.

[viiiiiiiiiin]

Hello dude, what's up lol. I haven't done that many requests so I hope I don't mess this up. Can you write some comfort regarding a disabled trans FTM reader and the kid pirates, mainly involving Kid and Killer? All platonic. I know it's quite specific but the pain of my cEDS is killing me right now and I'd be great to read something along those lines. Being trans and crippled can lead to a lot of dissociation regarding your body, it feels foreign to you in an extreme and debilitating way, what better than to cope with my two favorite fictional characters lol

Kid Pirates with a trans!disabled!reader

Includes: The Kid Pirates , FTM Reader with cEDS

Important Info: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I took a long time researching this so I hope it's accurate.

A / N: Awww I hope you feel better :((. I did a LOT of research for cEDS and I REALLY hope I you the facts right. Please , please comment or message me if I got any information wrong or anything of the sort.

None of them truly understood you. You were strong , so why did you try not to fight ?

The first person to ask you about it was Killer. You explained to him that you had cEDS and he was confused as hell.

You explained the symptoms. You bruised easily , your skin is velvety / dough like , minor trauma can split your skin , etc. You explained that being in fights could put you at risk.

You also explain what it was.

He understood. He was more that willing to accommodate for you. He wasn't a monster. A pirate , yes. But not a monster.

Anytime anything happened , he was there. He made sure to assist you as much as he could without making you depend on him. You were your own person after all. He knew you wouldn't like it if he babied you.

Kid caught on and asked Killer about it. You were strong , so why was he acting this way with you ??

Killer tried his best to explain your condition and why he did the things he did. Kid still didn't understand.

Killer had to explain it in dumb terms for him to understand. At that , he also tried to help.

You were part of his crew. He may not say it much , but his crew means everything to him. Especially you and Killer since you 3 were childhood friends.

The crew learned from Killer as well and did their best to help while also trying to make you feel like yourself.

Killer was your go - to whenever you were in pain or felt dysphoric. He would sit with you for however long you needed him to and would comfort you as best as he could.

It was during one of these sessions that he learned about you being trans.

He may not have shown it , but he felt a sense of pride at the fact that you were so trusting in him.

Kid wasn't the best at comforting words , but he did sit with you and Killer sometimes. He let's you hangout in his office while he tinkers with whatever thing he's working on.

It's then that you guys get into deeper conversations.

He also learns you're trans but doesn't know what the hell it is. You had to explain you were a girl and now , you're a guy. Top surgery or not , he silently promised himself that he would make sure everyone respected you for the gender you went by.

If anyone said anything about your disability or gender , he'd beat the shit out of them.

Even if he wasn't good with comfort , he was willing to defend his friend to the ends of the world.

So was the rest of the crew.

They would help you as best as they could. They adored you and cared about you , so why would they not ?

Heat and Wire would be the ones to help you whenever you went through any pain or dysmorphia because of feminine issues.

Killer and Kid , however , we're your go to whenever it came to any body related stuff.

They would talk to you like you were on the same level as them. Not any less and not anymore. You felt like you truly belonged to the Kid Pirates.

When it came to fights , you were benched. You were more of a strategist and mixologist.

Though you are different from them , Kid and Killer truly care for you. You 3 are childhood friends. They would never give you up because of your own problems.

One time , you guys went to a bar and you got harassed. They grabbed your wrist and you bruised REALLY fast.

Because of that , Kid and Killer beat the person's ass and held you by their side for the rest of the night.

In their eyes , you're one of them. It doesn't matter if you struggle with something or not. Theres always someone to help you and they would never leave you alone.

[spencer-charnas-ix]

The Day in the Life of SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner - A Criminal Minds Fanfic

A/N: Credits for this idea go to @criminal-minds-quotes and credits to @cassioxpeiaxmgg for telling me to write this madness because this was so much fun to write, and I just wanted to make Hotch really sassy, sarcastic and petty because it's funny lol 🤣 SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner's day in the BAU was typical, except when he had to deal with his chaotic work children. Hotch walked into the bullpen, Coffee in hand. His eyes were baggy, but he still looked bright and professional in his crisp suit. 'This is going to be a long day...thank God for coffee,' he thought as he walked past his chaotic work children who were causing chaos as usual, whilst he was wishing he could have a break. Just one damn break! Was it so hard to ask for? In Hotch's case. Yes. Yes, it was. It would have to be a miracle for him to actually have a long break. Hotch walked into his office, sat in his chair, sipped his coffee and sighed deeply, waiting for the caffeine to kick into his system. Just then, he heard a knock on the door. "Come in..." Aaron said, sipping his coffee, waiting for the chaos to ensue. SSA David Rossi, Hotch's best friend and co-worker, walked in and said, "Hey Aaron, we've got that meeting with the BAU directors in a few minutes." Hotch facepalmed, "Oh, for god's sake, I hate those meetings; they're so boring, even for me! A person who likes meetings." "Look, let's just get this over with; I even bought some liquid luck." Rossi pulled a flask of whiskey from his jacket pocket, opened it, and sipped it, handing it to Hotch, who also sipped from it. "Well, here goes nothing", Hotch said, taking a deep breath, handing the flask back to Rossi as they walked off to the meeting. Hotch was sitting in his chair, bored out of his mind during the meeting. He looked off into the distance, wanting to be in his office working. "Agent Hotchner, do you have anything to add about the safety of the BAU?" Erin Strauss asked as Hotch just rolled his eyes

"Yeah, tell them to cry a damn river, and yes, I put them in bad situations, but who cares? I have to deal with my team, or as I call them, my chaotic, mentally ill work children, with Rossi's help since he's my work husband."

Apart from Rossi, who was on the verge of trying not to laugh, everyone was stunned. "But what about your team?"

"Oh please, they're way too mentally ill not to get into trouble; just last week, I had to stop Emily from setting something on fire again." "I-how did that happen?" "Derek gave her a lighter and told her to 'do crime', and then, well, she tried setting fire to the bullpen; it was chaos." "Right, I see, but it's bad; you do it all the time and it's rude-" "Oh, your feelings are hurt; oh no, do I need to call a wahhhbulance?" Hotch mocked sarcastically "Hotch, what the hell has gotten into you?" Another person in the meeting asked, raising an eyebrow in shock

Rossi kept trying not to laugh, but it was getting harder each time for him to hold in his laughter. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I just think this meeting is so boring that I'd rather listen to Reid blabber on about something for hours," Hotch replied sarcastically. Meanwhile, Rossi couldn't take it anymore and fell on the floor laughing his head off; everyone turned to look at him in shock, except for Hotch, who was just trying not to laugh himself. "Hotch, you're being way out of line-" Erin said, annoyed as Hotch interrupted her scoffing. "Oh, I'm sorry, Karen. What are you going to do? Speak to the manager or, better yet, throw a tantrum?" Aaron said condescendingly as he rolled his eyes, checking his nails Rossi ended up laughing his head off as he rasped, "THAT'S MY WORK, WIFE!! YOU GO HOTCH" he cackled as tears of laughter ran down his face After the meeting was over, Hotch was in his office with Rossi, drinking some whiskey and laughing "I cannot believe you said all that," Rossi said, sipping his whiskey Hotch laughed. "I regret nothing from it" Rossi chuckled. "I still can't believe you called Erin a Karen" "David, you know as well as I do that she's a Karen sometimes." "More like all the time." Both Hotch and Rossi burst out laughing and continued sipping whiskey and continuing their day as the tired, work parents of the BAU

[muffinmonstah-art]

I was wondering how you got into some of the Barbara Gordon ships you like because I feel like she's a very unpopular character to ship with others and most people don't really bother having fun shipping with her.

I have this nsfw hc about Barbara where I feel like because she is someone who always has to be in control of situations that when she is sharing intimacy with a partner she likes to be controlled/dominated. Which is ironic because I have a nsfw hc about Jason Todd where I feel like because he didn't have control of situations in his life that he needs control and would seek out control in intimate situations with partners and would need to dominate.

I'm just an observant viewer who pays attention to character dynamics I think are interesting and the ship grows in me naturally. I don't give two cents about what other people on this fandom think it should be banned, cancelled or not allowed to ship for dumb idiotic reasons.

"But Barbra should date other people outside batboyes!!11111" "But the Arkham games aren't allowed to create an AU with an adult Tim Drake and pair him up with Barbra they're cancelled now!11111" "But Bruce and Barbra are like father and daugther I command everyone to cancel this ship and Bruce Timm is pro-incest weirdo who should be banished from the industry for daring to ship them together!!1111"

All background annoying noise in my ears. Weak reasons crafted by childish people not worth obeying. They're also hypocritical. Like, many of them would love to see a gangbang between Dick and the batboys. Hell, they headcanon Dick as a slut who likes to get banged by every older man on this universe and that's ok (I'm not judging. I'm ok with those headcanons as well, since I ship JayDick, SlaDick and BruDick with passion), but for Barbara to headcanon her the same way is morally wrong? Screw them.

Don't they realize the problem is DC putting mediocre writters to write Barbara into fucking DickBabs of all things and not the fans who dream about their own stories featuring this character? All the problems they try to inject into BruBabs, JayBabs, TimBabs, etc are already present on canon DickBabs lol.

-She got deaged and her personality got reduced into forever hormonal silly teen girl so she could be paired up with Dick and fullfill the trope of the americanized shoujo-like romance in comics.

-She changed from being Batman's love interest and an indepentent hero to be "like a daughter" to Bruce and subjugated to the Bat-family so she can be a pretty accesory to Dick.

-When she isn't dating Dick, she has to be thinking about him, mentioning him, comparing him to her current love interest. She also needs to be thinking about him and talking about him when she's working.

-She doesn't have any agenda of her own anymore, she only exists to be Dick's love interest and get comicbros horny by fullfilling the rol of being a female Batman with tits and ass.

All those problems are DickBabs problems, not JayBabs'. Not BruBabs'. Not TimBabs'. When BruBabs was a thing, Barbara was not a deaged insufferable idiot. She was independent. She was an equal comrade in arms to Bruce. When JayBabs got a few issues back in Batman Ethernal (I'm not counting Three Jokers because that's a whole other can of worms), she helped Jason go into a little arc and their bond progressed naturally from working together on screen. When TimBabs was a thing in the Arkham games, she was the best version of herself there's around, period. She was professional, a computer genius as Oracle, who was focused on the mission and being Tim's love interest was just a small part of her, not her defining core. And also OH. LOOK. Those devs proved you can cut DickBabs from the equation and have Barbara and Dick be themselves and their core character traits remain untouched LMAO. GET REKT YOU PIECE OF SHIT PAIRING.

So yeah, considering alll those points I just expanded upon, I say I'm in my right to ship JayBabs and TimBabs. And BardBabs too. Jason Bard also got disrespected and fucked over DickBabs and I don't fogive nor forget.

"But age difference!!!1111 you pedo shit1111"

That hyprocritical argument FOR SOME REASON does not apply to JayTemis I guess. Shipping JayTemis is ok while that bitch is like +200 years older than Jason, but with Babs is morally wrong because of her being like 11 years older than him? Fuck this logic. I don't care. At least I'm not deaging her. I'm respecting she is an experienced woman who went through tons of dark stuff and Jason admires that. Hell, in my headcanon, with Jason being a crimelord who has traveled all around the world learning assassin training, he would be bored as hell with some 20 years old girl. Lmao. What would they even talk about?

And I love Arkham Tim Drake and I think every creator is on their right to create their own AU story. The Arkham devs created their own thing and I love it. I ship the hell out of Arkham TimBabs, pair that also allowed me to have single Nightwing dancing his pretty ass over my face on his purest expression. 10/10. Antis go cry me a river.

"But you don't want Babs to date anyone outside the bat-family111!!!"

My favourite strawman argument. I debunked it the moment I declared myself to be a Jason Bard simp and a BardBabs shipper.

End of my rant/insight post.

Now it's my turn to tell you to get into SasoSaku, anon. SasoSaku is life. (Joking, joking)

[kiwiana-writes]

Hi MJ, it truly makes my day when I happen to open the Tumblr app, and you’re playing the AU fun facts ask game. The folks sending you ideas are brilliant, and in equal measure, so are your responses. It’s all just so much fun, thanks for bringing that energy to my Tumblr dashboard! 💕

If it’s not too late to participate in the game, I had an AU idea come to me early this morning—

Medical/Arthur Lives AU - perhaps a universe where Alex is somehow involved in Arthur’s treatment/recovery, trying very hard (yet failing lol) not to be distracted by his patient's annoyingly handsome son. 👀

This is such a lovely, lovely thing to say, my friend, thank you. I genuinely wasn't expecting people to get quite so into this one but I've had a BLAST churning through these for the last day and a half, so your beautiful message seems like the perfect one to end on.

ONE: Alex spent three years working in hospice before he burnt out—not because of all the death. It was hard, of course, getting attached to patients and then losing them, but making their final weeks more comfortable was a privilege Alex didn't take lightly. What he burned out on was the way some families would spend those last precious few days sniping and dragging up old hurts and yelling at each other over their loved one's literal deathbed.

TWO: Naively, he thought cancer recovery would mean no more bad feelings—that people would be relieved about their second chance and would face their recovery plan with the optimism of reprieve. He's soon disabused of this; almost all his patients have a mix of positive and negative feelings, and some spent so long preparing themselves for their treatment to fail that it throws them off-course when it's successful.

THREE: Arthur Fox is not one of those people. He has, according to his notes, gone through a gruelling chemo/radiation regimen with the unbridled confidence of an upper-class white man who's never been denied anything he wants in his life (okay, that part might not be in his notes; Alex is annotating a little). He simply decided, no matter the prognosis, that he wasn't going to die, and so he didn't. Alex is honestly kind of obsessed with him.

FOUR: He meets Catherine early on, but doesn't get a chance to meet Arthur's children until three and a half weeks into their treatment plan, and Alex is sure he's not imagining the way Arthur spends so much more time introducing Henry to Alex than any of his other kids.

FIVE: Alex has always had a vested interest in his patients getting well and not needing him anymore, but every time he sees Henry during one of his visits to Arthur's home—chatting with him about the novel he's writing, lavishing attention on his dog—Alex has another reason to count down the days until Arthur is free and clear so that Alex can give Henry his number in a decidedly non-professional context.

[Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts that would happen in a story.]

[obey-me-mammon-lover69]

omg requests are open? yay! ☺️ i know this is an angsty one, but could you write the demon bros’ reactions to mc’s death? :( it’s an angst kinda day lol. but if you’re not comfortable with that, i totally understand :) have a nice day!

I love angst so much bro you don't understand

I tried to keep how MC died vague, so it can be however you please

How the brothers react are somewhat based on how my family reacted when my uncle died, I was Beel in this situation, unable to cry and feeling horrible about it only crying weeks after the funeral because it finally all hit at once

GN! MC

Warning: Death, mentions of lesson 16, mild suicidal thoughts (all of them to some degree), depression, dissociating 

LUCIFER:

The news shakes him to his core

He slips on a calm mask to try and help his little brothers but inside is a warzone

As soon as he’s back alone in his room or office he breaks into tears and collapses against the door blocking it off with a strong spell to prevent his brothers from seeing him in this state

Even after losing you he refuses to drop his pride and show weakness

Especially to his brothers

Puts back on the mask and continues to carry the family through your funeral 

Shoves himself into his work, you aren’t there to drag him away from his paperwork and tuck him into bed to sleep after 5 days of nonstop work anymore

Works himself to the bone trying to forget about you

You’re just a human, you would have died eventually, why does this hurt him so much?

Eventually he starts neglecting his brothers too and hides in his office crouched over towers of paperwork

His heart aches, but he refuses to budge

MAMMON:

If you thought Lucifer was bad, Mammon is worse

He didn’t even have a mask to slip on, he simply fell straight to his knees and screamed 

Sobbed into Lucifers shoulder while his brother tried to comfort him whilst dealing with his own grief over your loss

With comes grief, comes bargaining

Mammon scoured the realms looking for someone, anyone able to bring you back from the dead whole

He didn’t want a zombie you, no he wanted you back, personality and all

But he couldn’t find anything

At your funeral he was inconsolable, clung onto your coffin and having to be dragged away by Lucifer, and Satan kicking and screaming

He prayed for the first time in eons for father to bring you back to him

But he never answered, he never does

Falls even harder into his gambling, two steps away from gambling away what remains of his soul just to feel something but horrible grief

Keeps your hoodie, and sleeps with it at night, sometimes in your old bedroom that smells like you

He wishes he was with you; he would do anything to be with you...

He dreams of you every night, and wishes he had the courage to tell you the truth

When Lucifer locks himself away, Mammon steps up as big brother, taking care of his grieving little brothers even though all he wishes for is to be with you again

LEVIATHAN:

The professional NEET is back and sadder than ever

The second he heard the news he started dissociating, like a robot he walked right into his room and sat down in his bathtub and stared at the ceiling

His brain couldn’t handle the grief, and he had to be dragged out of his room by Lucifer just to eat or take a bath

He fell completely into depression, and refused to come out

He tried to fill the void with more games, or anime, but everything reminded him of you

At your funeral he sobs, unable to even approach your coffin and cries even harder during Mammons fit

He goes practically catatonic after the funeral, and doesn’t come out of his room for a whole week, during this time Lucifer locks himself away

Mammon is now the one dragging him out of his room for food

Levi cries in Mammon’s arms, begging him to find a way to bring MC back, that’s all he wants

Mammon holds his little brother, and they cry together on his floor at the helplessness of it all

ASMODEUS:

Upon hearing the news, he stands up and leaves to his room he doesn’t want his brothers to see this side of him

He screams, he sobs, he breaks the mirrors in his room, he throws everything around, he tears the canopy of his bed down, and rolls around on the dying flowers sobbing

After this his second instinct was to pretend you never existed

He cleans up his running, smeared makeup, repairs his room and heads to the clubs to forget about you

He parties hard

Everything and everyone are now a tool to dull his grief 

But nothing fills the void in his heart you leave behind

No matter how many people he takes to his bed, nothing helps, and this is horrifying to him

Its only now after you’ve passed does, he truly realizes how much you’ve changed him and how much he’s fallen for you

At your funeral he doesn’t hold back, sobbing inconsolably and clinging onto Mammon after he’s dragged away from your coffin too

After your funeral he’s changed once more, he refuses to go out and indulge in his sin, he just lays in bed and stares at the ceiling hoping you’ll come back through his door and ask for another make over or a spa day

Mammon drags him out of his room occasionally to eat, but he sees how tired and sad Mammon is too...

SATAN:

Hearing the news, he on the surface is calm, but just like Lucifer, this is a mask so he can try to be a rock for his brothers

As soon as he’s alone in his room he unleashes his demon form and goes apeshit, nearly tearing down his part of the house in his unbriddled rage

He doesn’t even know what, or who he’s mad at, is he mad at you for dying?  Or God for letting it happen?

For once he joins up with Lucifer, he tries hard to be a rock for his brothers to lean on during this time of grieving but crying makes him feel angry

He scours his books for a spell, or anything to bring you back to him...to his brothers

Like Mammon, he’s unable to find anything of use and breaks down into another fit at this

During your funeral he helps drag Mammon away from your coffin, and resists his urge to tear this whole funeral down by the foundation and light it all on fire in a helpless bid to get you back

After your funeral, he retreats completely into his books, hoping he missed something, that maybe there is a way to bring you back one day

He won’t stop till he finds it

He doesn’t even realize Lucifer had retreated either until mammon is the one dragging him down for dinner

He doesn’t even have the strength to be smug, he only feels worried for him

BEELZEBUB:

Images of Lilith flash in his mind as soon as the news breaks

He couldn’t save Lilith, and now he couldn’t save you

Eats even MORE to fill the void in his heart, by filling the endless void in his stomach, but it doesn’t work

Nothing works, even exercising, which made him feel so happy, or Fangol makes him feel good anymore

But he just can’t seem to cry, he feels like maybe he’s broken, he feels such grief, but he can’t cry, even when he’s alone

He feels like he’s just coasting along on an endless ocean, no land in sight

Starts eating more inedible things, like dry wall, nails, etc

Actually, starts eating the wall in his room

During your funeral, he just stares at your coffin, unable to even cry, watching all of his brothers break into tears, but despite his heart hurting so badly he just...can’t cry

He becomes somewhat of a rock for his brothers, mostly Belphie due to this

Its only weeks later, does he finally start to shed his first tears over your death, just trying to go about his regular routine, something reminded him of you, and he dropped to his knees

And sobbed, and sobbed...and sobbed

BELPHEGOR:

All though this time it wasn’t his fault, no matter what happened to you he blames it on himself

I mean he did kill you once, and that action haunts his every waking, and sleeping moment

He starts sleeping even more, in fact there’s not a time he’s awake much anymore, he’s practically fallen into a coma and during this time Beel takes care of him

In his dreams he’s with you again, and that’s why he refuses to leave them and get up

He wants you back so badly, neglecting his health completely

The only time he wakes up is for your funeral, looking down at you one more time he collapses to his knees at your coffin and falls asleep right there next to it

Beelzebub picks him up and carries him away from the coffin, and that would be the last time his brothers ever saw him awake if it weren’t for Mammon

Mammon takes up the duties of Beel, taking care of Belphegor when Beel can’t and forcing him to wake up and face reality to eat dinner and get some sort of food inside of him

Belphie misses you so much, and for this he hates his father even more for taking you away from him, for taking Lilith away from him

Cries in his sleep due to dreams of you, hoping that when he wakes up your death will be all a bad dream, and you’ll be back in his arms again...

[thegeminisage]

[emerges from 2.25 resolutions panting and covered in blood] it's staaaar trek update time

tuesday we did ds9's "to the death" and, of course, voy's "resolutions." augh

to the death (ds9):

i completely forgot every single thing about this episode due to what came after. hold on a sec while i go skim the transcript

OH YEAH. jem'hadar gateway

i think the premise of this episode is a little faulty. "you have to help us put down these rebel jem'hadar or else they'll get you too" hmm are we sure? are they really just mindless feral beasts who want nothing more than to conquer or should we be thinking with our brains that they're sentient people who desire freedom from their masters? i guess we only use morals when it's convenient lol

also, i get SO TIRED of people calling worf a pussy. and conflating his morals or even having morals at all with BEING a pussy. he's obviously not a pussy and he has proven this in battle and out of battle about 1000000 times on screen by now. give him something else to do, PLEASE

that said, a few decent sisko scenes in this episode. he had to lay down the law a couple of times and also saved that one guy's life

i did also like learning a little more about the jem'hadar, especially re: their lifespans. i hope that one guy really does make honored elder <3

resolutions (voy):

this episode changed my brain chemistry. i have watched it multiple times a day since first viewing. absolutely my favorite voy ep yet. i've been putting off writing this update because i was afraid

firstly, it had a great b-plot. tuvok almost getting mutinied and by HARRY KIM who never gets anything to do? mwah. at first i was disappointed it didn't devolve into actual mutiny, but the more i think about it, the more sense it makes. tuvok isn't stupid, he can sense which way things are headed and he knows capitulation to loyalty, an admirable trait, is desirable over outright chaos. he is also trying to do what janeway wanted for her crew, and janeway herself would likely listen if everyone aboard wanted to do something, even if she had her reservations. that's part of what it means to be captain.

the a-plot..........

AUGH

the. i can't even put into words

he's been in love with her the whole time. like, this is canonically a confession of long-held feelings. that's not left up to interpretation, even if whether or not they fucked is (and they definitely fucked). it makes me want to rewatch so i can decide in my mind palace when exactly this happened for him. HER NEEDS COME FIRST. ANYTHING HE CAN DO TO LIGHTEN HER BURDEN

and she never asked for this kind of devotion. he just wanted to give it to her

that's the fun thing about chakotay. he's so contradictory. the deeper you go, the gentler he becomes. on his outside he's very tough and dangerous, he can and will hit his suboordinates, he will kill people, and then when you strip everything back and get him at his most bare he just wants to build things for his wife and find peace in making her happy

it's also so good for janeway too like...she struggles so hard with staying hopeful, but she's learned to white-knuckle hope so hard as a means of survival that when she's forced to let it go it devastates her. optimism not because she believes in good things but because she will MAKE good things happen and when she can't and they don't, and she doesn't have power or control or even the illusion of those things anymore, that's what gets her

chakotay is fine giving up power and control and living moment-to-moment, but janeway lives looking forward. and in that way they complement each other SO well

i love also that janeway worse so many dresses. it hints to her not being able to be as feminine as she might like to be on the job, because when she unwinds in the holodeck she's also wearing a dress and in this elaborate romance novel where she is in a very womanly role. i loooove that like she's still a woman she's just a professional first. so when she wears a dress it's a vulnerability thing, permission given to see her as human woman, just like when chakotay is gentle with people. because the last person he was gentle and loving to was seska who betrayed him utterly in every possible way. he doesn't let people in but AUGH HE BUILT HER A BATHTUB HE BUILT JANEWAY A BATHTUB VOYAGER WASN'T EVEN OUT OF CONTACT RANGE YET AND HE WAS ALREADY TRYING TO MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR HER GOD KILL ME

ANYWAY. ANYWAY. they're also both normally very serious, largely because of the burdens placed on them by life circumstances, so it was SOOO GOOD to see them gradually become more playful with each other

him holding her while her experiments fell apart. him holding her on the walk back during the storm. their hand touches. the way he touched her hair pre-massage. the hustling outside with the phaser when she called for him. the way he couldn't stop staring at her in the bath towel. it is so. IT IS SO. devotion. borderline worshipful. AUGHGHG

his love language is ACTS OF SERVICE like KILL ME

i can't believe they never touch on this romance ever again. ik he gets with seven eventually, and ik im gonna love her, and im also gonna be into janeway/seven, so why choose?? that said, it shouldn't be this way. it should be janeway chakotay. they are perfect. they shouldn't have had to breakup

anyway shoutout to the four pregnancy fics i've read so far. i can't believe i didn't think of it. chakotay meanwhile already like having pregnancy trauma because of seska. AUGH

lightening her BURDEN brought him PEACE

also lol the way he was like. when he said that bit. yeah this is an ancient legend and then he was just bsing her, he should do that more often. but also AUGH, BECAUSE. THAT MADE IT EASIER. TO SAY

FULL ON. CANON LOVE CONFESSION. AND THEN WE NEVBER MENTION IT AGAIN???????

i have to end this update now before i start screaming.

okay. tonight: ds9's "quickening" and voy's "basics part i" which will both be inerior to "resolutions" forever no matter what amen.