#lissa talks

[kingofbodyrolls]

For this rainbow, I finally picked up my professional camera again. The last images stored there tells me that the last time I used it was the 1st of December 2023. Wild. But I picked it up thanks to this pretty rainbow, which was actually a double rainbow. So pretty. This image is made up of three into a panorama shot, and Lightroom was a bit funky with putting them together, so please don't mind the badly processed house in the middle; no, we're not looking at that 😂

For people who want a wall of text status update, it's under the cut.

How are you all doing? I'm hanging in there. Not active much, but I still haven't gotten myself into deleting my tumblr app. So I still see and get all your notifs, even if I don't reply right away! I'm still taking time off, trying to figure out what I want to do with the blog for the future... I have not written a fanfic in some time now, but I have two finished stories that are ready to be published, but I'm not sure. I'm not sure about a lot of things these days... I've had dark days, written a lot of sad and dark poems (that will go on my sub blog some time in the future), and I've begun to write an original story. It's really fun; about magic, witches and mages; about good and evil and all the gray in between. It will probably bore you, but it's fun to write, even though I don't think anyone would read it except for a few friends (even though this thing might be the longest thing I'll write, turning into either two or three books lol).

Serotonin boost I get happy when I get notifs with comments and/or reblogs of my stories; it really touches my heart. To be honest, this is why I left/taking time off. I've always felt that interaction was low, and my stupid brain will not let me stop comparing myself to others, so it slowly killed my drive for writing and posting. If no one interacts, what's the point of posting? If no one interacts, what's the point of writing? But I love writing, and it's one of my creative outlets, so I couldn't let that go completely, hence I started writing original stories instead; no ones gonna read them anyway, but I can still play with characters, world building and storytelling. Those are the things I loved about fanfics---and I still do, don't get me wrong. But I feel so discouraged being on here. But I'm happy to know that a few people still care.

The Downfall This also made it quite hard for me to read; because I felt so unmotivated... I haven't read much this month at all. I tried to read a fanfic this Monday, didn't finish it and haven't picked it up since. Honestly, I've just been watching documentaries because I'm in a (tumblr) slump. I feel drained though; I feel like I've given so much, and I love it. I love making people happy, leaving lovely reviews, and it's as much for myself as it is for making another person happy---but to be honest, it has drained me. I know I shouldn't ask for anything in return, but I feel imbalanced. Like I'm not being filled with much love, if that makes sense? I don't really feel appreciated, but don't get me wrong, I don't feel hated (yeah, I'm so good at being black and white), sorry---I know I sound very pessimistic. But you guess have always been so kind to me, and I love you a lot, and I have a few super lovely mutuals and friends that are lovely internet friends that I adore, so I wanted to be real with all of you. You can hate me for it if you want to. Go ahead.

I don't think I'm going to make a recommend list this month. I haven't really read anything, so it'll be really small. And I don't like the pressure of it anymore... which is why for a long time I've thought about not doing them anymore. Maybe some day I will again in the future. But I'd still love to make rec list on the member's birthdays! And I think this will help me, take some pressure off myself (that I've created myself), so I'll still read and rec, it will just be slower---whenever I feel like it, and not because I have to read to make a monthly rec list. This isn't my job, I'm not getting paid doing all of this, and the amount of time I've been spending on both reading and writing is more than 37+ hours a week, sooo. I have to slow down.

A part of me thinks that I flew too fast, too high and too close to the sun, lol. I'm still gonna be here, you can still send in asks for rec list or whatever you want, all is welcome (except hate, because then I'll simply just delete my blog, my mental health can't take that).

To post, or not to post? Should I post the two stories that I have? Both of them are for the series Friendcation.

And for the unfinished mermaid stories I still have left, I hope I'll finish them in the future; when, I don't know. Maybe one day I'll feel love for them again, to finish them. I have them all planned out, but like I mentioned before, with low interaction, I'm really not motivated to finish them, even though part of me really want to for the like five people that are so sweet and invested, and always comments and reblogs (you guys know who you are, and I love you so fucking much 🥰).

To all the stories I'll probably never write...

I still have some other unfinished but planned stories, and I'm gonna list them here, just for the hell of it. Don't know if people would have found them interesting anyway, but here goes:

Words on a Page (a Namjoon x reader, idol!au where reader is a fanfiction writer and interviewer for a magazine and has to interview BTS). Author's comment: probably never gonna write it. It has been done before, and it was just a very very silly dream I had.

Songs of The Heart (a Jimin x reader, musician!au where Jimin is a single father and reader moves into the house next to his, hear his lonely songs etc, they meet, talk, very angsty, sad and nostalgic and 'Who' coded). Author's comment: this idea came to me after listening to 'who' and then thinking about Jimin being my next door neighbor, yeah, that's it. Don't know if this will ever get written.

IT Support (a Jimin x reader, office!au where Jimin is your nerdy coworker, but a freak in the sheets, lol). Author's comment: this has honestly been on my list for years, but I never written anything for it, and I probably never will, even though I've made the banner and all.

I do have a few more, but I've already scraped those, and then there's the four mermaid stories to add to the list. I'm probably mostly excited about the mermaid stories, and those would be my priority if I ever get back into writing fanfiction again.

I swear, I'm almost finished... Okay, this whole thing has gotten incredibly long. Sorry. Before I end this post, I just want to say how happy and grateful I am to each and everyone of you. I've met some incredible nice people on here, some really caring ones. I'll never forget that. And I'll never forget each wonderful and lovely comment, some people have really helped me, motivated me when I felt low, and when I wanted to stop writing a few months back. Thank you. I kept going, and I wish I could keep going for you, making something special, for the special people I met here. I actually really wanted to do requests for you guys in hopes that it would motivate me into writing, but I just don't know. I still want to give so much back to the people who have hyped me up, so I'm going to tag a few of you lovely people--- if you have a request for a story, you're welcome to message me or send me an ask. I don't know if or when I'll write it, but in case I get a bit of motivation, I have some things I could write from, so if you want to, you can send me a request (just keep in mind the story will probably be a one-shot from 10-20k max or maybe shorter, lol, you never know with me). You don't have to send me a request, I simply want to give back to some lovely people. I wish I could hug you.

@letjungcoook7 @honeybloomyyyy @babystarcandyjk97 @minpdrecs @bobathi @allie-is-a-panda @back2bluesidex @gimeow @antisocial-mochi267

These are but just a few of the people that have supported me on there, either by commenting, reblogging, ask, messaging--you name it. I could list many others, and one day I might make a post celebrating all mt lovely mutuals, that means a lot to me. Thank you for interacting; you've (as long with others) helped me when times were tough. Thank you.

I had actually planned to open a "recommend a fic" section/box, but I'm not sure about that. I still have so many fics on my to read list, and right now I don't want to pile more onto it. Might do it in the future, when I've finally made it through my own lists.

Okay, I have to end this post for real now.

I'm still on tumblr, I still have my app. I deleted my discord app on my phone, but I'm still part of the servers I was before, I'm just not active. It's better for me that way right now, because it all got to be too much. I was just reminded of how much of a failure I feel like (no, we're not getting into that not, store it away). But you can always contact me here. I'm lurking sometimes. I look forward to reading in a more leisurely pace and hopefully not feeling pressured to make the rec lists as I did before (even though just for the completionist in me I want to finish them for just this year, lol).

Okay. If you read this far---thank you, I adore you, I love you, you're nice, keep going 💜

[my-dear-dr]

I went on a date recently where the guy kept trying to bite my ear in public and all I could think of was this pic

[kingofbodyrolls]

This is like seeing myself 🫣🥹

People always think I'm weird for writing like that... I have so many notebooks and notes laying about with scribbles of storyline and plot 🥹

This was so nice to see, that I'm not the only one who works like that 🥹✨💜

Here are the draft notebooks for most of my novels. I write out the first draft by hand, and if it's a graphic novel, I do layout sketches in the same notebook. These stay on my desk and are referenced throughout the book-making process.

I make notes to myself along the lefthand page (a technique I borrowed from Garth Nix), which I regularly read through for ideas I had in the moment but may have forgotten in the day to day work or writing.

I like drafting longhand because once I type the story up, I tend to make subsequent revisions in the same document. This preserves a record of how the story started. Plus, a notebook is easier to carry around than a laptop, and no worries about charging!

[anotherbummer]

"I need to remember you." "Well does it work?" "...Once"

Bonus +

[nerdasaurus1200]

As much as the show has been illustrating the parallels between Viren and Callum, I’m still so glad they emphasized a big difference between the two- the way they treat their partners.

Cause although Viren’s heart was in the right place, the way he treated Lissa was nothing short of abusive and horrific. He didn’t just stand there and let his own wife cry, he took advantage of her tears.

And meanwhile Callum just hears Rayla crying and rushes to her aid, because he can’t stand to just leave her crying alone. He’ll always help her and dry her tears for her, no matter the reason.

[kingofbodyrolls]

NINE PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

Thanks for the tag @oddinary4bts✨

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LAST SONG -> D-Day by Agust D. This song has been on my ‘current favs’ since it came out lol, but yeah, the song just really resonates with me 🥹

FAV COLOUR -> purple 💜 (but honestly, I love all colors in general!)

CURRENTLY WATCHING -> I’m rewatching Supernatural. I dropped it around season 12 or 13, so I’m starting from the beginning. I’m also watching ‘Yet to Come in Busan’ (a go to whenever I’m feeling down) and also In the Soop. Yeah, I watch multiple things depending on my mood, lol.

SPICY/SWEET/SAVOURY -> both savory and sweet, and it’s even better if it’s sour!

RELATIONSHIP STATUS -> married (we’ve been together for 12 years 🫣)

CURRENT OBSESSION -> well, BTS and Jimin, also just listening to music, dancing and then tending to my garden and greenhouse 🌱 And of course writing, currently my series ‘My Heart’s Home’ has become almost an unhealthy obsession for me lol 😪

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Tagging: @hoseoksluna @btsgotjams27 @jeonsbabygirlsworld @remmykinsff @gimmethatagustd @joonsmagicshop @gimeow @bratkook and @letjungcoook7

NINE PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

Thanks for the tag @wintaerbaer and @msnanu✨

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LAST SONG -> The Planet by BTS bc I’ll never stop supporting the tannies (I was listening to BTS on shuffle driving home haha)

FAV COLOUR -> light green

CURRENTLY WATCHING -> Demon Slayer and The Gentleman. I still haven’t finished Itaewon Class either whoops

SPICY/SWEET/SAVOURY -> spicy and savoury. Very rarely sweet haha

RELATIONSHIP STATUS -> I’ve been dating my bf for almost a year (on and off lmao)

CURRENT OBSESSION -> well BTS and Jungkook are still up there. Other than that, there’s Helldivers 2 (for my gamer girls out there) and my fic Chasing Cars (I think about this fic 100% of the time help)

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Tagging: @magicshopaholic, @casuallyimagining, @jessikahathaway, @moonleeai, @btsmosphere, @park-jimin-isnt-real, @moccahobi, @daesukiii and @kingofbodyrolls

[kingofbodyrolls]

Are you guys still interested in the mermaid stories? Just checking in! Because I spend a lot of time writing them obviously, and I'm trying to figure out if I should put my energy in other things, or if you are still excited about the mermaid stories?

To be honest, I feel very deflated with writing, but I really want to finish those mermaid stories, and I have most of them planned now. I just... I often feel discouraged on here... But I want to make good on the promise I made with the mermaid stories at least! 🥹

[my-dear-dr]

I'm ill as hell and my fever addled brain is trying to figure out what pokemon Sisko would be

[lillifaba]

Last night Jennifer Newberry got stuck in the bubble during the curtain call. Luckily, her cast members and the backstage crew had her back (x)

[kingofbodyrolls]

This is an important reminder for me recently, and I'm so happy that I have BTS to remind me, when I can't see it myself 🥹

Also; @bangtanpoems is a new blog I started where I illustrate their songs as poems and quotes to remind myself (and others) that we're never alone and give me comfort when everything just feels dark. I hope to set everything up in the queue, so there will be a new quote either everyday or every second day. If you want a weekly dose of bangtan's lyrics, you're welcome to follow me there 💜

This doesn't mean that I won't be active here. I'm still here and I'm doing a little bit better. I'll respond to yours asks and reblogs soon! Thank you for all your support and being so patient with me and showing me so much love 🫂 I'm forever grateful ✨🌸

Resources used: art [link] Song: 소우주 (Mikrokosmos) - BTS // Map of The Soul: Persona Lyrics written by: Matty Thomson, Max Lynedoch Graham, Marcus McCoan, RM, Suga, J-Hope, "DJ Swivel" Young, Candace Nicole Sosa, Fontana, Lindgren

[tategaminu]

It doesn't matter that Viren had his heart in the right place ASSAULT is not okay and Lissa had all the rights to leave. Viren and Callum have parallels but they are different in a lot of ways one being that he would never do something like that to Rayla and in a similar situation they would have talked about it. The narrative and Viren himself knows what he did wasn't okay you don't need to justify abuse. You can love a character and aknowledge they aren't a good person in canon.

[mylifeisjustafeverdream]

I truly do not care what Richelle may or may not have said, but Dimitri Belikov is NOT a fucking Sagittarius. He's a Capricorn. Caps are defined by practicality, steadiness, and initiative. They are highly motivated planners who tightly control their lives to reach their end goal. They're very disciplined, and highly self critical. They're so contained they seem aloof, but this energy of being an unmovable force is alluring. Think of a rock formation in a raging ocean. So they get placed in leadership roles especially in crisis. Who the fuck does that sound like???

[imminent-danger-came]

Really rotating Claudia and Callum in my mind right now.

Like, they both try to keep the people in their life from leaving. They both are willing to do things some might find unspeakable for the people they care about. Callum's Devotion description in ToX is "I value those close to me more than anyone or anything" and his Liberty description is "I'm beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom."

Then you have Claudia, who decided to leave the baby dragon she thought would be the eventual destruction of humanity to save her brother (which is basically choosing those close to her over the world). You also have her trying to free a great ancient evil to save her dad (which is ALSO her choosing those close to her over the world).

We've already had Callum make the decision to use dark magic for Rayla, so here's why CHET will win-

[kingofbodyrolls]

❝ NINE PPL I’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER ❞

-> ✰ @ctrlhope!! thank you sm for the tag !!!

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☻ LAST SONG : D-Day by Agust D. This song has been on my ‘current favs’ since it came out lol, but yeah, the song just really resonates with me 🥹

☻ FAV COLOUR : purple 💜 (but honestly, I love all colors in general!)

☻ CURRENT WATCH : I’m rewatching Supernatural. I dropped it around season 12 or 13, so I’m starting from the beginning. I’m also watching ‘Yet to Come in Busan’ (a go to whenever I’m feeling down) and also In the Soop. Yeah, I watch multiple things depending on my mood, lol.

☻ CURRENT READ : I’m so bad at reading anything other than fanfics lol 😂

☻ SPICY / SWEET / SAVOURY : both savory and sweet, and it’s even better if it’s sour!

☻ RELATIONSHIP STATUS : married (we’ve been together for 12 years 🫣)

☻ CURRENT OBSESSION : well, BTS and Jimin, also just listening to music, dancing and then tending to my garden and greenhouse 🌱 And of course writing, currently my series ‘My Heart’s Home’ has become almost an unhealthy obsession for me lol 😪

☻ TAGS : no pressure with these!! @anpaman @kookslastbutton @ditttiii @yoonia @violetsiren90 @sumzysworld @wobblewobble822 @yoongiofmine and @purpleyou7x + anyone else who’d like to participate !!

❝ NINE PPL ID LIKE TO KNOW BETTER ❞

-> ✰ @ki-yomii !! thank you sm for the tag !!!

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☻ LAST SONG : converse high by bts !! my favourite song of theirs tbh <33

☻ FAV COLOUR : yellow!! it’s such a happy colour— just looking at it makes me feel good. i relate it to hoseok a lot so that’s probably why 😭

☻ CURRENT WATCH : i don’t watch much tv! but recently ive been rewatching heartbreak high to prepare for the new season. oh!! and run!bts!! ive been trying to make it though all the episodes again

☻ CURRENT READ : i… i will admit im horrible at reading 😔 the last series i read was the hunger games / ballad of the songbirds and snakes back when the movie came out!

☻ SPICY / SWEET / SAVOURY : spicy all the way!! i really enjoy strong flavours (spicy and bitter especially) and i dont really have much of a sweet tooth

☻ RELATIONSHIP STATUS : single nd happy abt it !!

☻ CURRENT OBSESSION : jungkook. jungkook and that fuckass bob that he had. i hate him so much. made me realise i have a thing for guys with bobs ☹️ but in all seriousness i would probably say producing!! im finally learning how to produce music and it’s been rlly fun :DDD

☻ TAGS : no pressure with these!! i think most ppl have already been tagged so ill just go with the few i can think of off the top of my head!! @aft3rhrs @silv3rswirls @gorehsk @kingofbodyrolls @joonberriess @angelicyoongie + anyone else who’d like to participate !!

[sieglinde-freud]

brady fire emblem highkey like a top three awakening character. i love that man. big sweetie pie who cries at flowers blossoming out of a crack oh yeah. guy who sniffles at the sight of a double rainbow on a sunny day like true lovers are back baby!!!!

[mayordeas-clone]

thinking about the fe awakening baby banner in feh again. they shoulda squeezed sully in there. cuz it’s said in her support with chrom that they literally knew and played with each other in childhood and!!! i kinda wanna see a rambunctious little sully paired up with an equally little chrom. that would have been cute i think :]