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sparrowrye · 6 months

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Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, A2 part 17

Synopsis: It’s been over a year since we were brought under Alastor’s watchful eye. We’ve unlocked our Demonic powers, discovered our own talents, and began building the Safe Haven with Charlie and co. Alastor seems increasingly interested in the power we hold as one and intends to use it properly.

Previous part

Part 17: now what?

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"Holy Hell toots, you kissed the big scary Radio Demon?" Angel came bursting through the healer's front door.

I casted wind to slam it shut behind him and made myself bigger with my wings extended. "How the hell do you know?"

"I overheard Alastor and Husker arguing," he answered, slightly taken aback at my display.

I turned away from the white and pink Demon and ran my claws along my head, the tips clicking against my horns. Vivian was at my side with a hand on my back. She, Vilcin, and Althea had just managed to coax the same revelation out of me before Angel came in.

"Is this a bad thing?" he asked.

"Yes it's a bad thing!" I spun to face him again. "I got manipulated! I fell for it. I fell for his stupid trick. And I knew what he was doing and fell for it anyways."

"How do you know it was a trick?" He held his hands up in mock surrender. "I mean, maybe he was actually serious."

"Because I saw his memory." I sat in one of the soft chairs and dropped my head in my hands. "I saw him talking to Rosie about how our connection was getting stronger. And how if it was strong enough then I could control my magic and he could feed off it."

"Oh."

There was a moment of silence. I then stood up and paced in a circle at wicked speed. "I'm so angry! At him and at myself." I let out a struggled noise and pulled at my hair. "I thought I was getting better!"

"Was that the only memory you saw?" Althea asked. My trio of friends stood near each other still, unsure of how to help me. "Perhaps that was a memory that happened awhile back. Maybe he has had a change of heart since then."

"He's the fucking Radio Demon. He's not capable of loving anyone." I knew I spoke lies as soon as it had come out. I went silent and fell into the chair again. He loved his mother and sister dearly. Maybe after so many years of living without them, he had forgotten how to love someone.

"Hey." Althea knelt beside me, a gentle hand on my leg. Her green hair was a stark contrast with the dark flooring; it naturally drew my eyes to her. "Maybe anyone can learn. Even him."

"You learned how to love Reagan," Vivian chipped in. Her lamb ears swayed as she moved to kneel on the other side of me. "You were a brutal ring fighter. But now you love and dote on all the children."

"Maybe you should look further in his memories," Althea suggested, "see if there's any other conversations. Feel what he's feeling. It's the least he can let you do."

"I don't know."

There was a long moment of silence.

"So what'd it feel like?" Angel asked.

****

"This woman doesn't know how to stay off my nerves." Alastor rubbed his aching forehead. After my disappearance into the haven, he paid Rosie another visit.

"Love isn't trifling," she answered. "I must say though, I'm not sure why she's different than your other female acquaintances. You've never not hit it off with a lady before."

"She's not your typical woman, I suppose." He leaned his chin on the back of his hand and stared off at the window. "Her attitude has always been a problem. Perhaps it comes from her experience."

"She was a caged animal for most of her life," Rosie agreed, taking a sip of the hot tea she made. Alastor had yet to touch his.

"I have done what I can to show I enjoy her company. Why does she not believe me?"

"You two didn't have the greatest of relationships at first," she pointed out, "Not to mention everything she had to deal with when it came to mind magic and her curse."

"Yet our relationship has changed significantly in the past year. It's...annoying," he lifted a single claw from the armchair, "that she rejected my advance when she herself wasn't showing signs of distaste." He paused, eyes flickering up to Rosie's briefly before looking back at the window. "Perhaps my performance was lacking."

Rosie let out a laugh, causing him to pin his ears back in a growl. "Oh goodness, Alastor, I don't think that's the case. If it makes you feel any better, it doesn't seem like she has much experience in that field either."

It did make him feel slightly better. "I'm unsure how to move forward from here."

"She likes honesty." Rosie calmed her laughing and, putting her cup down, walked over to Alastor's chair. "Perhaps it's time you let her into that green mind of yours," she gently poked the side of his head and he leaned away. "Let her see how you truly feel."

He sank further into the chair. "This is stupid."

"This is love, darling."

"Surely this isn't how things typically go."

"You two aren't very typical, nor is your situation."

He tapped his claws. "Blast this woman," he mumbled.

****

By the time my cravings came back, I wasn't ready to deal with Alastor just yet. I had spent two days in Althea's healer hut just to avoid him. On the second day the cravings hit hard and I was curled in a ball for most of the day. Our deal had ensured that I wouldn't be able to live without his blood, without him. I had been tricked again.

Veins squeezing painfully tight, I trudged up the hill to the house. I felt his presence long before I touched the door and slammed it shut.

"Alastor!" I yelled for him. He manifested in the living room a moment later.

"You called." He wore his usual wicked smile.

"I'm still angry at you but the cravings came back," I stated, immediately getting down to business. I had a hand on my chest, nails digging painfully into my skin.

"I understand, darling." He leaned his cane against the fireplace and rolled up his jacket sleeve and the one underneath it. How many layers did he need? "Do accept my apology on the matter."

"Not yet." I buried the fear that was threatening to choke me as I crossed the room.

"I understand." He nodded, offering his exposed arm. He was being uncharacteristically cooperative, but maybe he was trying to make amends. My mouth began to water at the prospect of his sweet blood.

I slowly grabbed his wrist and summoned all the anger I could to bite down harshly. He let out a grunt as my teeth pierced his skin. His black blood soothed the itching in my throat and my veins slowly stopped seizing. My anger died as my body relaxed.

He grabbed my opposite shoulder and pulled so my back was against his chest. My teeth were still in his skin as he pressed that arm harder into my mouth, effectively pinning my head against him. His other arm was around my torso so my claws couldn't reach up to do any damage. I tried yelling but my jaw remained locked in place.

"Now that you're silent, it is my turn to speak." His voice was light but firm. "I understand you are angry with me because you believe I am manipulating you. To a degree, you were correct." I bit down harder and it caused him to wince. "But I understand now that I was merely fooling myself. I greatly enjoyed dancing with you that night. I find myself wanting to be around you all the time. And it infuriates me that Lucifer has permission to look through your mind while I am not allowed to do more than touch you. Even that one is debatable."

Without warning, his presence wrapped around mine and pulled me in his mind. Memories popped up in front of me. Memories of him watching me, close or from afar. I could see myself watching the children on the shore, tending to a crying child, talking with my friends, and reading by the fire after our afternoon sessions.

He also showed his actions that I never saw. Actions like soothing a nightmare after the soul shadow incident or attempting to touch my shoulder or back, but retracting it a second later. I saw the night we danced and felt a strange mix of nervousness and comfort. He looked briefly at my lips right before we kissed.

I blinked back to the dim living room. I had long stopped drinking his blood and now spit and blood were dripping off my chin.

"I am quite infatuated by you. I have grown accustomed to your presence, and dare I say I am not sure how to live comfortably without it. You send a thrill up my spine." He used magic to send warmth up my back as a visual. "I ask that you believe me when I say I want to be closer with you."

The confession left me dumbfounded. Everything was still and the only sound came from my breath on his skin. I could feel his chest rise and fall on the backside of my head. Did he always breathe that fast?

Eventually, I tugged my arm out and he finally released me. I took my teeth out of his skin and turned to face him. He grimaced at the sight of his spit covered arm and used magic to clean it up. I did the same with my chin.

"I don't know how to feel," I admitted, his ears quirked back. "I just...I don't..." I rubbed my arm and watched one of my foot claws scratch the carpet. Poor Niffty was always fixing the holes I was putting in it.

He bowed low like the night we danced. "Then I will allow you the time and space to think." His shadow melted with him and he slipped back up to his room. The room felt colder.

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Author's Note:

Nooooo, but I want him to be closer not further away

#demi demon #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #soulmate au #soulmates #hazbin hotel #reqs open

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therealcocoshady · 6 months

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Recovery - Chapter 31

Eminem x Reader Fanfiction

Summary : Dinner with Reader's Dad ends up being a nightmare.

Tags : Angst - Comfort

MARSHALL’S POV

Y/N was pacing the room and her nerves were starting to rub off on him. Out of all the people he had ever met, she was the one whose stress was most communicative. With the energy she was giving, she could probably stress out the toughest, best-trained army negotiators. When she had told him that her father wanted to meet him, Marshall hadn’t freaked out. Being a Dad to someone his girlfriend’s age, he understood the idea of parents wanting to meet their children’s significant others. Sure, he hadn’t met a girlfriend’s family in a while, but he wasn’t too scared. The perspective of Y/N’s father being about his age made things less impressive. The way he saw it, it would just be a casual dinner and, worst comes to worst, he would have to state his intentions towards the man’s daughter : make her happy and support her. Not to toot his own horn, but he could think of worse boyfriends than him for anyone’s daughter. After all, he wasn’t a deadbeat, he had a job, money and he loved Y/N unconditionally. So he wasn’t too stressed out. At least, at the beginning. Because as they got closer to the fateful dinner, Y/N was starting to lose her grip.

Stop stressing out, babe, he chuckled. It’s going to be fine. Plus, I know how to make a good impression.

Sorry, she groaned. It’s just… You meeting my Dad, you know ? I can think of a thousand things that could go wrong.

It’ll be fine, he said softly. Plus, he knows what to expect, right ? The fact that you told him you’re dating me and that he is willing to meet me has to be a good sign.

Oh, he has no idea who you are, she said.

Is that a family thing ? He chuckled. Like a collective decision not to know too much about me before meeting me ?

No, I mean… I don’t know if he knows who Eminem is, actually, she said. He hates rap and hip-hop anyway. But as far as he knows, your name is Marshall and you’re american and… that’s about it.

He opened his eyes wide. He wasn’t expecting that. Not that he was counting on his fame to woo Y/N’s dad, but he thought that the man having an idea of who he was meeting would play in his favor. At least, there wouldn’t be an element of surprise. Better yet, he could have been surprised in a good way, upon discovering that his daughter was not dating an asshole, as it was a common misconception about him.

So he doesn’t know anything about my job, my age… ? Marshall asked.

Hum… No, she said sheepishly. I wasn’t too sure how to break it to him on the phone…

Ok, he sighed. I mean, it can still go well. Is there anything I should know about him ? Other than the fact he might despise what I do for a living ?

You could still word it differently ? She suggested. And say that you’re an entrepreneur in the music industry ? I mean, you own a studio…

Sure, he nervously chuckled. What else ? How do I make a good impression ?

Well he’s already pissed off that he has to come to us for dinner, she pointed out. So we might want to have wine ready.

It’s for his own good, he said. If we’re followed by the press, I’m not sure he would enjoy having paparazzi waiting outside of his place...

I know, she said. But I think we might want to make it up to him with food and wine. And other than that… Hum… Don’t be too American, I guess ?

What the fuck does that mean ? He asked.

Look, my dad can be a bit of a snob, sometimes. Judgy, too… He thinks all American people are over the top and flashy. So maybe no chains or massive jewelry and something with a button wouldn’t hurt, I guess.

Babe, oddly enough, I didn’t bring a shirt or a suit on tour with me, he pointed out with a smile. The best I can do is a sweater.

Sweater it is, then, she said. And you should wear a belt. Like, properly. No ass on display.

Alright, he chuckled. Though you usually like my ass on display…

And no jokes, too, she said sternly.

I’m not stupid, Y/N, he said. I’m not going to joke about our sex life in front of your father.

No, I mean… He doesn’t really do jokes. At all.

Now, he was definitely more stressed out and already bored. He already expected the culture shock, knowing that Europeans are a bit different from Americans on a few aspects. Thankfully, Y/N’s dad spoke English so that was one less thing to worry about. But regardless, it was shaping out to be incredibly boring. As far as he knew, her Dad was an accountant whose hobbies were literature and opera. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but he couldn’t really relate to him.

The plan was to have dinner delivered in their penthouse suite, since going to her dad’s place or the restaurant would be too complicated. The dining room area was welcoming and, apparently, formal enough. Too much for his own liking, but apparently, the man enjoyed things with structure. Her father was about to arrive when Y/N was getting ready. She was dressed in a little navy dress that looked quite conservative. She was pretty, as usual, but he was used to her sporting a more casual look. Not to mention that she spent most of the time in his clothes anyway.

I’m sorry, you didn’t mention that your Dad was a priest, he giggled. Why the fuck are you dressed like you’re going to church ?

He’s a little formal, she said in an annoyed tone.

He’s your father, he said. Why would he care what you wear to dinner ? It’s just us in the suite, you could be wearing PJs…

I told you, Marsh, he’s a little strict, she shrugged. You know, I only started dressing casually when I came to America. Before that, I would never be caught dead wearing leggings and a hoodie.

Fine, he chuckled. Are we ready now ?

I guess, she groaned. I just want to get it over with.

He pulled her in for a kiss. He wanted to get over it too, and focus on the bigger picture : in two days, he would fly back to Detroit while she packed her things before joining him and,

after that, the fun would begin. He would actually have her by his side and get to experience life with the woman he loved. The idea was making his heart swell with joy, as well as the fact that his daughters were really happy for them. When he asked for their blessings, a couple of nights ago, they were nothing but supportive. He didn’t even need to plead his case : they could see what a breath of fresh air Y/N was for him. He had never thought about bringing a woman into his family, but he was so happy he had found her. Now that they were going to live together, he wanted nothing more than to give her the life she deserved and provide her with the safe space she needed. He knew the past few months had been trying for her, and he would be there for her as she let her mind and body recover. Caring for her had become second nature to him anyway, ever since they had met.

Y/N received a call from reception, indicating that her father was here. He could see her anxiety levels rise once again, as he tried to give her a reassuring smile. He kissed her forehead before she went downstairs to meet her Dad, before bringing him into the room. While she was gone, he inspected himself in the mirror. He was dressed in jeans and a dark blue sweater. He had even trimmed his beard for the occasion. He looked rather random. That was the kind of look he usually donned for appointments like PTA or meetings, where he needed to be taken seriously and look like an adult, instead of the man-child he definitely was, dressed in jeans and hoodies, or tee-shirts with rap album covers on them. A couple of minutes later, his girlfriend came back to the room with a man that looked nothing like her. He assumed she took after her mother, because he couldn’t have guessed she was related to this man. He was rather tall and carried himself like a military man, with a stiff posture. He looked rather serious. No, gloomy was a more appropriate word. He wasn’t really one to judge solely on vibe, but he immediately felt ill at ease. One look at the man and he could tell the father was nothing like Y/N. In spite of her usual shyness, she exuded warmth and softness. A far cry from her dad, who seemed cold and distant. As soon as they got through the door, he went to them and shook his hand.

Papa, this is Marshall, my boyfriend, Y/N said. Marsh, this is Jean, my father.

Bonjour, Marshall said as they shook hands and made eye contact, deciding to try one of the three words of french his girl had taught him.

Bonsoir, the man replied in a corrective tone.

Marshall looked at Y/N, a bit lost.

It means “good evening”, she explained. Bonjour is for the day.

Oh, right, he said. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you, sir.

Likewise, the man said in an emotionless voice.

They went to sit in the living room area where Y/N had prepared a glass of wine for her father and soda for the both of them.

I got your favorite wine, she said with a shy smile.

Are the two of you not drinking with me ? He asked.

I don’t drink, Marshall simply said.

I don’t feel like drinking, Y/N said softly.

He could tell she was uncomfortable, and he distinctly remembered her telling him that her father knew nothing about her addiction, recovery, nor her sobriety. She had always been a bit shy, but seeing how uncomfortable she was in the presence of the man who had raised her gave him red flags. Something felt off. Or at least, as a father, he would hate for his girls to be this tense around him. But then again, he understood that not everyone’s relationship with their parents was fun.

Americans usually fail to enjoy wine properly, Jean pointed out.

We actually have decent wine, you know ? Marshall said with a smile.

Only because they come from french vines, the man replied. Are you sure you don’t want to try this, Marshall ?

I’m good, he said. I don’t drink, for health reasons.

He wasn’t ashamed of being sober. Usually, it was quite the contrary : he was proud of his journey and he had come far. But when meeting your girlfriend’s dad, saying you’re recovering from addiction makes you seem like a raging drug-addict and alcoholic, which isn’t exactly the best look. Jean nodded and understanding and they sipped on their beverages as they made small talk.

So… Y/N told me downstairs that you are an entrepreneur ? The father asked, giving him his time to shine.

I am, Marshall nodded. In the music industry, actually.

I don’t know if she told you, but I am a big fan of music myself, Jean continued. What kind of business do you do ?

Well I own a recording studio and a label, Marshall explained. There are a couple of other things, but I am mainly into recording, producing and songwriting.

Have you been doing it for a long time ?

About twenty-five years.

He could see Jean’s stare intensify.

How old are you exactly, Marshall ? He asked in an inquisitive tone.

Fifty-two, Marshall replied as calmly as he could.

He knew he looked a few years younger - thanks to genetics, healthy eating, exercising as well as a good skincare regimen prescribed by his daughters - but surely, his age couldn’t be such a surprise, right ? Or at least, that’s what he thought when he saw his girlfriend’s father’s face decompose. Jean glared at his daughter who immediately looked down.

So, you’re into opera, right ? Marshall asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Indeed, Jean said. What kind of music do you produce ?

Mostly hip-hop, Marshall said. Though I’ve worked with artists of various horizons.

Anything I might have heard ?

Well, you might have heard some Eminem stuff, he said with a soft smile.

Y/N threw him a panicked glance. The man in front of him might hate hip-hop but he still had to be honest. Hiding from his father-in-law that he was a big recording artist was probably not the best way to go and get his approval. Life had taught him that honesty was, by far, the best way to go.

I have heard of him, Jean simply said. I cannot say I care for this type of music.

I get it, that’s not for everyone, Marshall said with a shrug.

It is that I don’t think it qualifies as proper music, the man continued. Does it even pay the rent ?

Marshall tried his best not to roll his eyes. He had heard countless times that hip-hop is not actual music and he was sick of people failing to understand the artistry behind it. However, now was not the time to argue. The question about paying the rent was also incredibly stupid, in his opinion. The man was sitting in the penthouse suite of one of the most expensive hotels in Paris. Of course, it paid the rent. He didn’t want to be an asshole who flaunted his wealth, but the judgy look on the other man’s face was almost prompting him to list his assets.

Well, it certainly bought the house, Marshall said with a forced smile.

Alright. What brings you to Europe ? Jean asked. Business ?

Yeah, Marshall said. I just finished the second part of my tour, actually.

Your tour ? You are an artist too ?

Dad, Y/N interjected. What Marshall means to say is that… He’s Eminem.

Marshall smiled. At least that was clearer now. It was the first time he had ever had to disclose who he was in such a way. Jean turned to his daughter with a confused expression and said something in french. Y/N’s eyebrows were furrowed as she replied something, visibly uncomfortable. It was incredibly frustrating for him not to understand a word of what they were saying. From what he gathered, it wasn’t a very pleasant exchange.

We should order our food, Y/N said after a while.

Her expression was one of confusion and sadness. She seemed visibly hurt by something her father had said. He hated seeing her this way, but he also didn’t want to interfere. They ordered food from the room service and kept on making awkward small talk. As the meal arrived, they settled in the dining room.

Forgive me for being so blunt, but I am rather disappointed, Jean said.

What disappoints you ? Marshall asked.

When I agreed to let Y/N study in America, I did not expect for her to end like this, he explained matter-of-factly. No one wants their daughter unemployed and making poor life decisions.

He saw Y/N duck her head down. The remark was not aimed at him, at least not directly, but it stung. It was no wonder why she didn’t mention her father too often : from the looks of it, he was an ass.

Ever since her mother’s death, I have raised her on my own and tried to instill good values in her. I certainly did not expect her to repay me by failing miserably to start a career and deciding to be some sort of potiche for a rapper.

A what ? Marshall asked with his eyebrows furrowed.

Potiche, Y/N repeated with a sad look on her face. It means “vase”. It refers to, hum… a woman who is basically a trophy wife.

Marshall’s eyes darkened. He wasn’t necessarily expecting the man’s blessing - not that he cared too much, Y/N was an adult - but having a man his age insult his own daughter was wrong on so many levels. He tried really hard not to spit in the man’s face but it was getting harder by the minute. If he hadn’t gone to anger management classes and therapy, he probably would have thrown him out already.

I mean, she just became a doctor, Marshall said tentatively. You must be kind of proud.

The degree doesn’t mean much if she doesn’t find a job, Jean pointed out sternly. I guess she’s just too lazy.

Not to contradict you, but I’ve actually seen her work on her dissertation, he said. Your daughter is really impressive. I think she deserves credit for her work.

It’s not too hard when everything’s been handed to you, the father pointed out. Do you have children, Marshall ?

I have, Marshall replied. Three girls, actually. They’re 31, 28 and 21.

So I guess you understand the disappointment I’m facing, then. No one wishes for their daughter to fail her professional life and be in a relationship with someone who could be their father.

Y/N was staring at her plate, visibly on the verge of tears. He grabbed her hand under the table and interlaced their fingers. He stared at Jean, who had a cold expression on his face. Not approving of their relationship was one thing, but what kind of father could belittle his child in such a way ?

Look, Marshall said, I understand where you’re coming from. If one of my daughters told me they were in a relationship with someone my age, I wouldn’t be too happy. In fact, I’d probably want to punch the man in the face. But I want you to know that I have good intentions when it comes to Y/N. I love her, I care about her and I want to make her happy.

And, for my career, I’m going to send out applications as soon as I move in with Marshall, Y/N said. We have it figured out.

You are not moving in with him, Jean said.

Both him and Y/N turned their heads and stared at Jean. The way he said it sounded final. As if he were talking to a little girl. However, she was a grown woman, an adult and she didn’t need to ask for permission. In fact, the whole meeting was more of a courtesy rather than an actual obligation. Marshall would gladly remind him, but it was not his place and he knew it. His girlfriend said something to her father, in french. Her tone was soft, at first, as it was most of the time when she talked to people, but as the conversation kept on going, it got more animated. Jean was talking loudly and he could see his girl having trouble being assertive. However, she said something that prompted her father to slap her, before screaming something. Before he could even think about what he was doing, Marshall got up and threw his fist in the other man’s face. It was bad enough that he was making Y/N feel bad, but he would not get away with hitting her.

YOU PIECE OF SHIT ! Marshall screamed as he grabbed him by the collar, forcing him to get up and shoved him against the nearest wall. DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE TOUCH HER!

The man was taller than him but he was in such a fit of rage that, unless his opponent was Mike Tyson, he could probably take out anyone. He kept on screaming, out of his mind, as the other man yelled as well, trying to get out of his hold. Lucky for him, Jean wasn’t much of a fighter. He was firmly holding him by the collar, slapping him just like he had slapped Y/N. He kept on screaming and slapping, telling him what a piece of shit he was, and how undeserving of being a father he was.

You’re fucking lucky your daughter’s in the room, Marshall finally spat. I wouldn’t beat up someone in front of their child, but I swear to God, if I see your motherfucking face one more time, I will fuck you up !

When he finally let go of Jean, the man addressed his daughter, who was still sitting at the table, in a state of shock. He yelled something in French and was about to approach her when Marshall intervened between the two of them. The man yelled something he couldn’t quite understand, still in French, before storming out of the room. Marshall closed his eyes for a second, to regain some composure. His heart was pounding in his chest. He had not been in a state of rage in a long time and the sensations felt foreign. He could feel his cheeks burning. He took a few deep breaths to try and soothe himself. If he didn’t, he might as well chase him down the corridor and strangle him. Seeing him slap Y/N had brought back memories of being abused as a child. His mother had never hit him too much, but the same couldn’t be said of some of her boyfriends. He had always sworn that if he witnessed it, he would intervene and make sure the person regretted their action. Didn’t matter who or when.

When he opened his eyes, they landed on Y/N, who was silently sobbing, face in her hands. For a quick second, he had almost forgotten about her. He immediately went to her, to make sure she was alright. He kneeled by her side and tried to grab her hands, so that he could examine her face. As he tried to touch her, she jerked and looked at him with terror on her face. Suddenly, it hit him : he was the one that scared her. The realization was enough to make his heart sink, as he took a step back.

Please don’t touch me, she whispered. Please.

Ok, he said softly as he held his hands up. I won’t touch you. I just need to make sure you’re alright, baby.

Tears were still streaming down her face and her chest was heaving. He had to fight against his own urges to touch her, wipe her tears and take her in his arms. He was about two feet away from her but it felt too big a distance. He looked at her cheek : the slap hadn’t left a mark. Evidently, it hadn’t been too violent. On a physical aspect, at least. He knew full well the psychological effects of such a gesture.

I didn’t mean to scare you, baby. I’m so sorry, he said softly.

Who are you ?! She blurted out. Wh-What… What did you do ?!

He sighed and looked at her face. It was crumbling, filled with doubt and uncertainty. She had never looked at him like this before. Sure, their first argument was one to remember, and she had certainly looked at him with hatred and disgust, but this look was different. It was a look of fear.

He hit you, Y/N, he said.

You hit him ! You hit my father !

Yes I did, he replied sternly. No father, hell, no parent should ever raise a hand on their child.

It’s… my fault, she said. I said something he didn’t like. I-I shouldn’t have, really. This one is on me.

So what ? He asked. I’m sorry but that doesn’t justify shit, Y/N. I’ve raised three kids, four if you count Nate. Do you know how many times they’ve been insufferable and thrown shit in my face ? A lot. But I can tell you I have never, ever lifted a finger on them. That shit is not ok.

She looked down and buried her face in her hands once again. He wasn’t sure if he should approach her or not. She seemed so distressed, he decided against it, although it broke his heart. After a minute or so, she got up and made her way to the bedroom. He followed her, making sure not to be too close.

Baby, talk to me, he said softly.

Please, no, she said. I need… I need a minute.

He nodded and she went to the bathroom. He heard the lock click. He sighed and sat on the bed. He absolutely did not regret his actions. For all he cared, Jean could sue him, he didn’t give a shit about it. What worried him was what Y/N would think of him. The last thing he wanted was to be seen as someone violent by the person he loved the most. He heard the water running and figured she would take some time. He went back to the living room area and grabbed a can of coke. God knew he needed a sugary drink. The wine bottle was still on the table, half full, as well as the plates of their meal. To be fair, he wasn’t hungry anymore. He sat on the couch and let his head fall back against the headrest as he tried to think of how he would possibly navigate the situation with Y/N. About forty-five minutes later, she came out of the bathroom, wearing her PJs.

Good night, she called from the bedroom.

We should talk, first, he said before joining her.

She seemed a little less distraught, though she still had a frown on her face. She was getting under the cover when he sat on the edge of the bed.

How are you feeling, babe ? He asked carefully.

I don’t know, she said. I’m not even sure how I am supposed to feel.

Did he hurt you ? How is your cheek ?

I-It’s fine, she said. I’m just… I don’t even know how to say it. But you… You were… Terrifying.

I am so sorry, my love, he said. I didn’t mean to scare you. But I saw him hit you, and I lost it.

It wasn’t you, she said. It was someone who looks like you, but it’s not you, Marshall. I’ve never seen you like this. You’re not this angry, scary person.

Well it was me, he sighed. I hate that you had to see me like this. I hate that side of me. I used to be this very angry person but I worked on it. It takes a lot for me to get angry like this, you know ?

You were so intimidating, she said. Suddenly, you were yelling, a-and you were slapping my dad… And I couldn’t help but think “that’s not him, that’s not my boyfriend, that’s not the man I am moving in with”...

He sighed and took his head in his hands. He said nothing for a couple of seconds before looking at her.

I am so sorry, Y/N. I keep on saying that, but it’s true. I need you to know that I would never do that shit to you, he said. I know it must have been very scary for you, especially because you have never seen me like this before, but I want you to know that I would never, ever scream at you like this, let alone lay a finger on you.

I know, she whispered. But… He is my father. And you hit him.

He is your father, he replied. And he hit you. And I am not ok with that. I am not ok with anyone hitting their child, ever. I am not ok with him hitting you, and especially not in front of me. I… Fuck. Has he always been violent like this ? Was he abusive to you ?

No, she said. He is not like that. I mean, yes he is, but he usually isn’t that bad.

Meaning ?

He has always been really tough on me, she said. Really strict. But he never really hit me. Maybe once, when I was a teenager. But it’s never been a habit, you know ? But it’s my fault, I swear.

How is that your fault ? He asked. How is your father hitting you, your fault ?

Because I stood up to him, she said sheepishly. And I shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t respectful and I shouldn’t have.

What did you say ?

I said… I said that I wasn’t asking for his opinion and that I was old enough to do whatever I wanted, she explained. And then, he said that I was his biggest disappointment and I should be thankful for everything he did for me. And when I said I didn’t care he… he slapped me. So you see, it’s my fault.

He shook his head and sighed. Her thinking it was her fault was wrong on so many levels. At least, he was relieved to know that he hadn’t been violent to her when she was growing up. Everyone was not that lucky. However, the fact that a fifty-something man was not able to handle the fact that his grown-ass daughter was making her own choices and slapped her when she stood up for herself was frankly appalling. So was the fact that Y/N didn’t seem to realize that.

Arguing with your parents, it happens, he said. Even if you had been super disrespectful, which I don’t think you were, him laying a finger on you would not be ok, babe. And I’m not even going to get started on the fact that he’s been belittling you all evening.

He was always like this, you know ? She explained. I was never good enough. But I suppose it was his way of striving for excellence. He wanted the best for me. We don’t come from money, you know. When he was growing up, he was dirt-poor. We don’t have much, we’re typical middle-class, but he worked hard for everything and he was able to give me a good chance in life. And he single-handedly raised me. I owe him everything. He is my father. He is literally my only family.

It’s kind of his job, though, he said. As a parent, that’s literally what he is supposed to do. And I’m sorry but the fact that he comes from poverty doesn’t justify shit. I come from a poor, dysfunctional family too, I should know. I’m a father, I understand the wish for your kids to do good, but that will never be an excuse to behave the way he behaved.

She ducked her head down. He knew his words weren’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but he’d rather tell her the truth.

I can’t move back, she whispered.

What ?! He asked. Of course you can. And you should.

Marshall, no, she said. Before he left he literally told me that if I moved to Detroit, I would have to forget him and his support.

His support ?! Oh yeah, clearly he’s the most supportive person ever, Marshall said sarcastically. Before you went back to France, we knew each other for a whole year. Shall I remind you of all the times he came to visit you ? Of all the times he was here for you, during your recovery or after you were assaulted ? Oh wait, that’s right : NONE. Literally zero. That man has no idea what you’ve been through and he doesn’t see all that you’ve accomplished. You don’t get to call yourself “Dad” just because you helped make a baby. It takes more than that. So why the hell should you care about his so-called support ?!

Because I don’t have a family ! She cried. Marshall, you are the love of my life and I would follow you anywhere. And I told you I don’t care about marriage and children if I get to be with you and I meant it, but I can’t do it if it means that I am losing the only family that I have, the most important person in my life.

What kind of father would do that to his daughter ?! Do you even realize how wrong that is, Y/N ? He asked as he was starting to get worked up.

I want to be with you, Marshall. I do. But…

No « but », he said firmly. That’s bullshit and you know it. If anything, that’s one more reason why you should move. Are you seriously going to live with him after that ?!

I can’t lose my only family, she cried. You’re a family man. You understand, right ?

What I understood long ago is that you get to choose your family and who is part of it, he said. Talia and Jamal are your family. And I can be your family too. But even if that weren’t the case… would you really be willing to turn down opportunities to be happy and live your life just to please your father ?

After all, that’s all it came down to : her independence and her happiness. If she told him she’d be happier in Paris, he wouldn’t mind. It would hurt him, crush him, of course, but he would understand. But judging by what he saw tonight, her sudden reluctance had nothing to do with happiness and everything to do with her fear of disappointing her Dad. She was sobbing uncontrollably and it broke his heart. All he wanted was to make her sadness go away. If he had the choice, he’d rather take her pain so that she could be free of it.

All I’m saying is… don’t make a decision tonight, alright ? He said softly. Just like you needed to think before accepting to move back, you need to think about it. And you need to put yourself first. Not me, not your Dad, not anyone else. You.

I don’t know, she whispered in a croaky voice.

Come here, he said as he gestured for her to come in his arms.

She looked at him and had a second of hesitation, but she got out of the covers and nestled against him. He engulfed her in his embrace. He could feel her tears on his neck. They stayed like this for a while, not talking, not moving either.

I love you, he whispered in her ear. I’m so sorry you didn’t get the evening you deserved.

I love you too, she said quietly. Thank you for tonight. You really tried to make a good impression on my Dad.

Didn’t work but… Yeah, he shrugged. I tried.

I’m sorry he didn’t like you, she added. I wish he would have given you a chance. I tried telling him that you make me really happy, you know ?

I know, babe, he said softly. I don’t need his approval or any blessing from him, though. It would have been nice if we had gotten along, for sure, but as long as I have you, I don’t care. I’m good. Yours is the only approval I need.

I would be crushed if your family hated me, she pointed out. I don’t know how you do it.

Mostly, it comes down to being an ass and not giving a fuck what people think, he chuckled. You, on the other hand, care too much for your own good. But it’s ok because my family likes you. Let’s look at it this way : it’s 50% of our families that approve of us, that’s not bad, right ? Plus, if you consider the number of family members… Odds are in our favor, you know ? There’s only one of him and a lot of people in my family. And I know you like good statistics.

She chuckled for the first time all night. Her soft laugh was music to his ears. Even though her face was puffy from crying, she looked quite adorable and he could not refrain from kissing her temple. He stared into her big doe eyes and smiled at her.

Let’s try and save our evening, ok ? He offered. We could order some dessert and watch the Office.

I’m not really hungry, she said. And you hate the Office.

Hate is a strong word.

You said you hate Michael and he makes you cringe, she pointed out.

He does, but I know that Jim and Pam make your heart melt, that Jim’s pranks make you laugh your ass off and that you have a soft spot for Dwight, he said with a smile. So we can watch it. I know it’s one of your comfort shows.

You remember ? She asked surprised.

I do, he said. Six months was not enough to forget about you. Six lifetimes wouldn’t even do it. You’re still all over the house, you know ? I still have your movies in my Netflix account, bottles of that non-alcoholic wine you love in the pantry and your perfume may or may not be in my bathroom.

Really ? She asked with an emotional smile.

Really, he said. You’ll be right at home. I promise.

He took her hand in his and squeezed it. He had to convince her to fly back to Detroit with him. For her sake, as well as his. They cuddled in bed, watching the stupid TV show. He could tell she was bothered and her mind was wandering, but at least she smiled at the lame jokes. Most of his attention was on her, as well as trying to find ways to get her to make the right choice. He needed a plan, and he needed it fast.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #eminem x reader #marshall mathers x reader #recovery fanfiction #marshall mathers imagine

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richeeduvie · 3 months

Note

Some business adversary sending Baby flowers to piss Roman off because that will have him overthinking nonstop? Yummy

I like jealous and possessive Roman please 🙏

They would be an asshole. But, an asshole who have given us a completely jealous and unstable Roman Roy at the soul possibility that someone likes you.

Even then, the card attached to the bundle of lilies is vague, like it could be a thanks, a business-coded praise. But Roman's just focusing on how they aren't. Basic fucking roses. No, whoever this fucko is trying settle in your hole by denying the standard. Fucking-just pick roses!

"Come on, man. It's going to make the Roy Boy piss himself."

"He's going to find out it's you and you'll get a shitstain on your reputation with Waystar...and Co."

"I'm going with vague so I don't get my dick pulled by HR if the air of mystery escapes me. Not that it's effective with me, even though Roman Roy seeing 'your ass is addictive and I want to eat you out, also good work on that presentation I came to' would uh...put him on the news."

"Stick with 'thank you for everything you do.' Yeah?"

"I just said I would, fuck-"

You're confused as to why Roman would send you lilies. He knows your favorites are lotuses. Who it could be? Who knows.

"Who are you fucking?"

You sigh with a slight smile along your lips. You wish you could be thankful for the flowers, but now you'll have to deal with a harsh, bleeding Roman who won't accept any answer, any explanation or comfort until he realizes he needs it like he needs to breathe.

But you won't toot your own horn that much.

"You? I think, unless you have a twin. Shiv doesn't count-"

"Who have you been giving your ruined pussy to? You're a fucking whore, is batting eyelashes a talent for you or? Whatever it takes to get to the top."

"I was already on top last night."

Roman closes his eyes with a grip to a chair.

"Who did you flirt with recently? Business-bound slut. How have I not noticed your vagina has turned itself to a blackhole?"

He won't accept any comfort now, so you won't give it to him. It'll speed things up.

"Your cock has either grown forty inches or those custom dildos are doing the job. I don't know."

You take a sniff to the decorated lilies, pretending to not mind the way Roman tries to palm himself, but doesn't. He just looks hurt. And aroused.

And your senses in smell and sight break at the sound of the bouquet hitting the floor. There's a small crack.

"Roman, lovingly, what the fuck?"

He's casually slapped the flower vase to the floor, looking casual in the mouth, but harsh and needy in the eyes are brows.

You sigh, you'll speed it up for both of your sakes. It's not good for him to feel like this. Especially over something that means nothing.

You rub Roman's shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

Even in silence, Roman somehow gets more quiet. He's not looking at you, but his eyes are soft when he does.

"Who the fuck are these from?"

You kiss his temple.

"I don't know. Genuinely. I don't know who they're from. I haven't flirted with anyone and in fact, I don't think I've conversed with anyone I don't regular converse with in the past two weeks. It's probably an adversary fucking with you. If it was say...Tom or a an associate, I think they'd put their name on it."

"...Why would this be the thing to fuck with me?"

You look to where he doesn't look, to the flowers thrown about.

"I don't know if the reason is that obvious."

"It's not to me. But whoever sent those is going to get dirt and dick shoved down their throat."

You play with his hair. Lightly and lovingly. Selfishly.

"I'm betting on it."

#inbox #hc's #drabble #dog and bone!au #roman roy x reader #succession fanfiction

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orange-orchard-system · 8 months

Text

Got a hate ask on my other blog (funnier-as-a-system) today. I'm not gonna respond to it directly, but I'm gonna go over it fully just as an example of why I don't take anti-endos or sysmeds seriously and find them to be just bullying assholes who don't know what they're talking about. Apologies for the rare discourse post, but I felt it would be useful to have a personal example I can point to if I ever get any more asks than I already have about why I block anti-endos and sysmeds and don't want them on my blogs.

[ID: A screenshot of an anonymous ask, which reads: ""Systems" aren't real. Please stop being ableist against people with DID and our struggles. Pretending to be one of us while simultaneously mocking us makes you look like a piece of shit. Also, DID isn't fucking funny, you're just cruel and ableist. Go see a psychiatrist, get your personality disorders and Munchausens taken care of, and stop pretending to have DID when you don't. We don't need you, our community is better off without teenagers faking DID as a meme. To be honest, I wish you and literally everyone like you were more likely to kill yourself as someone with a real mental illness, because you don't deserve to be alive if this is what you're doing with your life. You're just a delusional bully and neo-nazi" ./ end ID]

Starting from the top, apparently anyone with DID who's ever described themselves as a system is faking now. Nevermind that it's been a term in psychology and the community for decades now! All systems are fake!

I have DID. I've said as much many times. Not that I think this person would consider this a counterargument, but I feel it deserves restating considering a fair amount of my posts are specifically about my DID and managing the symptoms of it.

If I want to find humor in my own disorder, I'm going to. I'm not going to resign myself to misery and self-hate just to please some randos on the Internet. I crawled my way out of the pit of self-hate and am not just gonna jump in there again just to avoid a couple asks and assholes. And I'd make a point here about systems that don't come from trauma or aren't disordered, but what's the point of that when they think literally all systems are fake?

Ohoho! Disableism towards other mental disorders! Isn't the irony sweet?

Not to toot my own horn, but I just love the lack of awareness when it comes to "we don't need you." No, I guess you don't need me... but you'll be going without the work I've done both online and offline to teach people about dissociation and plurality. Not to mention the terms I've coined that make people feel seen, the experiences I've talked about that make people feel less alone, the building of spaces to let others talk about their own problems and experiences, and the general promotion I've done of plural representation in media. No, you don't need me, but I've been doing work to assist the DID and wider plural communities for years now. And what have you been doing? Sending hate asks to people with DID for being too happy?

I'm an adult. I've mentioned before that I go to university and have a job. Seems like even online, I can't escape the assumption that I'm a teenager, smh. Also, I'm much more worried about the teenagers you might be sending this to than any kind of unquantifiable harm a couple teenagers faking DID could do, considering how clearly you wish to do harm with your words. Especially considering the next few sentences...

Oh, so we're just moving onto blatant suicide baiting and admitting you want systems to die. Got it. Totally not a bigot, right.

Wait... "Real mental illnesses"? Didn't you just accuse me of having several earlier? Or do personality disorders and Munchausen Syndrome not count? (Also, do they think being suicidal is a requirement to be mentally ill? They know not all disorders or presentations of disorders involve suicidality, right?)

Well, you got the delusional part right (which, side note, do you think it's impossible for people to have both DID and psychosis? Big yikes even if no, but that's what these asks always seem to imply), but I think this post might be the closest anyone can call "bullying", considering I'm not giving you an opportunity to respond as I tear down your argument. But maybe the definition of peer abuse changed to *checks notes* running a blog talking about plurality in a positive manner since I last checked.

These people do know what a Neo-Nazi is, right? They know what a Nazi is? Because it feels like people just use it as a stand-in for "general asshole" when it means a specific sort of ideology and bigotry. Ironic that they'd be so pissed about "mockery" and treating serious topics "as a meme", but then they go and misuse a term for a very dangerous kind of ideology and person.

Alright, I think I got that out of my system. Please be careful out there, guys! It feels like the number of hate asks I've seen people get has been going up. I'm in a stable enough place to make a demonstration out of this, but don't push yourself to have a snappy comeback or write essays responding to these assholes if you don't think you're up for it. Hell, I rarely write things like this myself, I just chose this ask to respond to because it was such a clear example of how hypocritical and foolish this particular brand of assholes is that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to break it down.

#syscourse #disableism #front soup.txt #suicide baiting

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darkfictionjude · 2 months

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Tbh I wouldn't be interested in a open relationship I think, honestly I'm mostly on the fence about it, but I don't think I would be comfortable with it, I think with a poly relationship it would be fine for me tho. so I've I concluded that I probably shouldn't romance carmen on my main MC, but then that got me thinking, those anons do know that they could just not romance carmen if it isn't comfortable for them and that there's other ROs and the fact if they don't find anyone interesting they could just not romance anyone at all or they could also just not play the IF, like no one's holding a gun to those anon's heads saying that they need to romance carmen right?

You get it ♥️

Anyway you can always lean back on Sam’s route, even though they’re not an RO you can chose to be in love with them and have had a fulfilling emotional and sexual relationship. No matter what that relationship even though not romantic like the others is actually important for Luce’s arc also not to toot my own horn but you can just also play for the story I think it’s gonna be a good one

#or you can just befriend people #Luce #Sam #EC

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askzloyxp · 2 years

Note

Would you maybe be able to bring other editors on board? Perhaps teach Lyarrah how you do your jazz so she can take over for a couple weeks. Unless I'm mistaken in assuming that her job is just copy pasting the script into the YouTube captions feature. I don't really know how captioning works

Okay, this is actually quite fun to talk about because YES! Youtube's caption system does have a feature where you can get auto-captions made if you just feed it the transcript of the video! HOWEVER, Lyarrah's job on the Recap is not to just do that.

First and foremost, Ly actually handles all of the metadata of the vids except thumbnails. Tags, description and even the titles are all things she has to fill in after I upload, because by that time I have absolutely 0 energy to do that. She also is the one moderating the comments. Even if I'm often the one to reply, she does a lot to filter out the bad stuff and add spam-filters.

Then she has to make the actual captions. Even with the script available, this is actually still a serious undertaking. Because that feature that you just feed the script and it puts the timings in automatically? It sucks ass. The timings are all over the place, it struggles with even the british accent and it couldn't add who is speaking or sound/tone descrptions even if you put them in. And with Recaps specifically, it couldn't put in the parts where the Hermits themselves are speaking, because THEIR LINES ARE NOT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT! What clips to use and to add to the video is mostly decided in the video-editing phase, long after the script is written. So that stuff needs to be added later. But because it's not in the script, the system gets confused about parts where the words that are not in the script are said, and just puts whatever lines in there. As a result, cleaning up after the algorithm takes longer than to just make whole new subtitles. WHICH IS WHAT LYARRAH ACTUALLY DOES.

More or less every video she makes captions for is re-transcribed by hand with the script only as a reference. This results in much better captions where she can even add her personal touch with the emojis to convey tone and all that!

I know there are automated systems in DaVinci Resolve and Adobe Premiere that could output pretty solid captions with working timings, and she's actually looking into that, and will be trying them out. But even then, it will be her responsibility and her choice to use these tools, because she's our captioning specialist. Whatever research she does will still be a load off my back.

But could she just edit the recaps for me? Funny you say that, because in theory? She probably could. Lyarrah and Pixlriffs are both adept video editors, each with their own youtube channels, and perfectly capable of producing videos no worse than what I make. Pix has already edited a couple recaps in the past, and every time he'd deliver on time and arguably a tighter product than what I make. HOWEVER, the trick here is that to get the HC Recap done every week, week after week, on time and with passable editing, when the source material is a dozen videos at least and the result needs to be well paced, illustrative and well, passable, is a whole other ordeal. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but here you gotta not know how to edit, but know how to edit like a motherfucker.

...that doesn't mean "good" or "fast",... just.. like a motherfucker.

And for one, I wouldn't want to put that much work onto anyone, while for two, I wouldn't trust to put that much work onto anyone. Maybe to a professional editor or like, a TV-editor this isn't much, but I don't think I have the funds to hire one, especially when at the end of the day, to me the whole process has long become routine, entertainment even. I love the edit. Which is also why I struggle with stress and burnout the way I do: it is incomprehensible to me that I can't just sit down and do this like always!

One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

#hermitcraft recap #pixlriffs #lyarrah #zloyxp

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 2 years

Note

Yandere vs yandere with two different ending

How would Sebek and Silver be when they competing for getting Crewle daughter hand in marriage or courting?

Since they are old fastion they court differently compared to people outside of the Valley of thorns

The Duel for Your hand | Sebek Zigvolt vs Silver Vanrouge

Your right they do court differently

And they have some of the most unreliable people cheering them on

Malleus is giving his earnest outdated opinion

Lilia is just in it for laughs

To a degree he is seriously cheering them on but he knows in the end it can’t really hold a candle to your opinion

If it weren’t for Silver’s compassion they would have done this in front of you

But they won’t, instead they’ll have Malleus and Lilia bare witness

The two only start to worry when the boys both get a little to into it

I most definitely see them inviting Crewel off-record to watch

Your father isn’t one to just give his approval to the baddest brute

But he is taking it into account when they officially ask

Silver Vanrouge’s Ending

He’s agile

He’s smart

And he’s the goodest boy

When he wins he immediately is praised by his father

Who might have forgotten by now that this is a really really old way to gain a woman’s affection

“Go on, you have to tell her!”

He actually falls asleep first

Leaving him to wake up to you, who had been invited to their battle ground unexpectedly

“Silver what have I said about sleeping in dirt? Didn’t you cherish the peacock plumed pillow, where is it?”

Once he answers and you two start idle chatter

He smile widely as he recalls his achievement

“I won!”

“Excuse me?”

“I won the duel against Sebek for your hand!”

“...so?”

“So? I mean no disrespect…but it is the way this typically goes, right? Or at least that's what Father said.”

“Sweetheart, it's been over a century since that kind of practice went out of date. The only approval you really need now is mine.”

“Then may I ask for your hand in marriage?”

“You may, after we officially start dating of course.”

“Yes, please!”

Crewel might’ve been secretly rooting for him

And when he eventually does have Silver asking for approval

He’ll give it to him

“I was under the impression, your sleepy disposition meant you were an airhead unoccupied but your duel showed me otherwise. I expect you will protect her with that same vigor I watched you fight with.”

“Of course, sir! I plan to protect her with all my might!”

“Good boy.”

Sebek Zigvolt Ending

Where Silver’s nimble

Sebek has power

Power that ultimately beats Silver

Now at this point Lilia will try to help him

Keyword: try

“AS SUCH I WOULD PREVAIL! (Y/N)’S HAND IS MINE!”

He’ll run off the grounds shouting and cheering

He’s so busy tooting his own horn he’s completely oblivious to the atmosphere

“Dogs with barking problems need a muzzle.”

While Crewel is groaning under his breath as he retreats to rage in his room fill out some paperwork

Meanwhile Sebek is proudly stomping to where you are completely unaware of the way people are disturbed by his loud presence

“(Y/n)! I HAVE PROPERLY DUELED FOR YOUR HAND AGAINST SILVER AND I HAVE WON! NOW SHALL WE UNITE IN BRIAR VALLEY OR QUEENDOM OF ROSES?”

“Sebek…what are you talking about?”

“THE DUEL FOR YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE! YOUR FATHER GIVES HIS APPROVAL FOR OUR UNION!”

“Sebek, you do realize that nowadays you don’t have to fight anyone…you can just ask me.”

“But I’ve already pledged! And I beat him!”

“That doesn’t mean anything compared to my words. Are you suggesting that my opinion doesn’t matter?”

“NO! Not in the slightest! I apologize for assuming! It is my own hubris that makes me overstep to think you could ever want to be with me!”

He kneels wanting to kiss your shoe

“I wouldn’t be against it if you were to court me, by modern standards that is.”

“IT’D BE AN HONOR…but I will admit when it comes to modern courting…I am not very familiar.”

“No worries, I can guide you.”

“THAT’S EXACTLY LIKE YOU (Y/N)-SAMA! I’M HONORED TO HAVE THIS OPPORTUNITY!”

Such a worshipper

You could probably keep him on a leash like this for years

An option Crewel would very much prefer

Expect him to defend your honor in every situation

Like when someone insults you

Or questions why you’ve been dating so long

Or any compliment towards you that makes him insecure which is quite a few

Sebek will eventually grow on Crewel who will still maintain that he doesn’t like him

“I still think you need a muzzle.”

#yandere sebek vs yandere silver #yandere twst silver #yandere twst sebek #yandere sebek zigvolt #yandere sebek x reader #yandere silver twisted wonderland #yandere silver x reader #yandere silver #yandere vs yandere #yandere diasmonia #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yanderexrea #lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland silver vs sebek

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ganondoodle · 1 year

Text

(this is not about anyone in particular but i have encountered this argument alot too so i wanna say sth about it)

the thing that people like to use as an excuse to why totks story was so lackluster that they think of the gameplay first

but how is that an excuse for bad story and inconsistency with the game its supposedly a sequel too? does good gameplay suddendly mean that the story gotta be bad? they made it work just fine with botw, sure its got its problems and there are things that could have been better like in any game, but they made it work with the themes, it felt harmonical with the rest of it

yeah the story feels like an afterthought in totk, bc it probably was, but it didnt have to be, and not to toot my own horn here but thats what im trying to do with the rewrite, yes im including some wishes i have that would never be canon but this is ultimately wasted work im doing anyway, im restructuring the whole game bc i want it to be in tune with itself, i took the route of most changes bc its my little brainfart were i can make it into something i really want while using the real game as a basis, all that work is in vain anyway so why not go all out, but i have several ideas, some even written out, on how you could have made it better, sometimes with minimal changes even and even then, they dont matter, the game is done and higely successful, im just a random dude on the internet thats part of the 0.01% of fans that dont like it, im just insane enough (or autistic enough lol) to basically do game design and writing for an entire game IP i dont own and never will for a game thats already finished and wont change regardless of how much work i do or how much i yell about it

if you think its 'unfair' to the canon game bc some things are not doable (tho honestly given what they have already been able to do nintedny would absolutely be able to do everything im writing) or bc im changing so much then ok? if you think they had their reasons and thats ok with you then ok?

im not tho, and no i dont think they had a good reason nor good excuse to do it like this, thats my opinion anyway, and my opinion doesnt matter in the grant scheme of things

like you dont have to like anything i do with it, its not a demand of the devs, the games done already anyway and nothign will change that, im literally just making it into the sequel i would have loved, i would have wanted, i would think is better but thats just me, all of the work im doing for this project is an outlet for my frustration with the game that i cant let go bc i love the franchise, and most importantly botw, so much that i cant let it go

so if you dont like what im doing, thats fine, but move on then pls bc im not demanding anyone to like it and if you choose to engage with it despite not liking it thats not my fault now is it

and if you do like it i want to thank you for your support!! it means alot that maybe, even if its technically wasted work and time, its really not fully useless, if it can bring even one other person a little joy, thats a good engouh reason for me to keep posting it :3

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #also im makign the gameplay loop not all that different tbh #im changing alot but the real game is still the basis #also i find the argmuent funny that no one wants to have a zelda companion gltiching into a wall #when we have 5 silent ghost things gltiching all over the place while killing the frame rate but thats fine i guess lol #not being agressive either mind you #but again .. what harm am i doing #i doubt even a nintendos window cleaner has ever seen a single one of my posts nor cares about them

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amethystwrytes · 4 months

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About Me/M. List

💜Amethyst is the name. (She/Her)

💜Playing it cool since 1989

💜I love about a billion different kinds of music, but this blog honestly is just a KPop worship station for me. You’ll see a lot of BTS, like A LOT, but also plenty more groups mixed in the stew.

💜I don’t like interacting with minors. I can’t stop them from finding and consuming my content, it’s the internet and it is what it is BUT I really don’t need nor do I want to know that they’re all up in my biz. So all I ask is that if you’re under 18, please don’t interact ✌🏼🫶🏼

💜I don’t plagiarize material and am very much not a fan. Every story listed below is mine, from my silly little brain, and I need you to respect that. Intellectual property is a thing, so please do not copy, repost, or translate my stories (as if you’d want to tbh🤭) as your own or without explicit permission. And honestly just don’t do it to anyone, because eventually someone will realize and then the internet will just tear your ass up and nobody wants that. Ick.

💜Despite those last two bullet points I’m actually really chill. I love to chat about pretty much anything but I am pretty introverted until I feel comfortable with someone, then it’s hard to shut me up 😂. So if we’re moots and you’re wondering why I’ve never reached out - it’s probably because I’m scared of you and think I’ll annoy you to no end. Maybe I’m not that chill actually 🤔😂😂😂

💜Requests? You can send them to me at any time, but I can’t promise I’ll write it. Still, it’s fun to read and create scenarios with one another so feel free to hash it out in my ask box or through DMs!!

💜Need a Beta Reader? Hi🙋🏻‍♀️ I’d be more than happy to read through and try and help you. Not to toot my own horn but I do have a dusty lil English Degree in a box somewhere and I used to work in the uni library and help edit term papers 💅 DM me anytime for help.

💜When I write random things that are on my mind, personal, non KPop or dessert related I use the tag “amethoughts” - if you have no interest in those thoughts then you can block that tag if you’d like to.

Masterlist

1. “If I Had Asked” — Jungkook x Gender Neutral Reader. Summary: Jungkook wants to catch up at a mutual friends birthday party. Genre: Romantic. Hurt. Comfort. Fluff. Exes to lovers. Oneshot. Rating: E for everyone babe. There’s some alcohol and marijuana but I mean, nothing weird or crazy happens.

2. “Hard to Handle” — Jungkook x Female Reader. Summary: You’re starting to want a little more from your FWB buddy. Genre: Romance. Smut. F2L. Oneshot. Rating: 18+.

3. “Imaginary Games” — Taehyung x Female Reader. Summary: The only thing that could make a destination wedding - in which you're the maid of honor, who has to give a speech in front of a crowd, who has to wear a dress that cost you a pretty penny that you'll never wear again - worse is the fact that your cheating ex is the best man. Genre: Romantic, Smut, Exes to Lovers, Smidge of Hurt. Oneshot. Rating 18+.

1. “Of Course, Professor” — Minho x Female Reader. Summary: The law professor everyone is scared of generously offers to help you with your school work. Genre: Smut. Romantic-ish. Basically just porn with a hint of plot tossed in. Oneshot. Rating 18+. [Bonus Drabble. Also 18+.]

#about me #masterlist #navigation #amethoughts #pinned

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irithnova · 4 months

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This is a repost but I've made some edits, it was originally in response to an ask I received about how I personally go about making Siberia OCs (as a complete foreigner) and how I portray their relationship with Russia

Start of post:

I know that you're probably aware but for anyone who stumbles upon this post, I'm not Northern Asian or Siberian myself. I'm just someone who's interest/hobby is researching Northern Asian history and culture (started with just Mongolia, my interest also extends to Central Asia) which started when I was around 13/14? So please keep that in mind. This is a post written by an outsider (with the perspectives of Northern Asians taken into account of course), for other outsiders.

If I'm being quite honest, Hetalia Siberia OCs in particular are quite a... Niche corner of the Hetalia fandom. Especially in the anglophone/Western fandom. I'd say they're more popular in Russian speaking country personification communities (not always specifically Hetalia) purely because of the obvious - Siberia is a part of Russia. Unfortunately I do not speak Russian, nor am I really familiar with the Russian speaking hetalia fandom or country personification circles. However I have spoken to Northern Asian folk who are a tad more familiar with these circles than I am, and have come to find that even then, people who post Siberia personification OCs are few and far between, and those who do, post them very rarely and there's little else of these characters other than once in a blue moon art.

In the Western/English speaking fandom, as I've said before, there's really not a lot of us. Most representations of Siberian hetalia OCs usually come down to sparse dottings of fanart across different sites such as Tumblr, Deviantart, and Instagram. I am not on the hetalia amino so I wouldn't know but I highly doubt there are many, if any, Siberia OCs posted on there. I frequent hetalia twitter, particularly amongst North Asia (by that I mean Mongolia) adjacent posters, who are mainly Japanese. However it seems as if Mongolia is the furthest North most will go. So the circles I'm personally aware of (well not really circles as there's not a lot of us in the English speaking fandom) that do post about Siberia OCs are mainly here on tumblr, instagram, and I guess some rare art posted on Deviantart.

Honestly I don't think I can really recommend someone in these circles that I'm aware of (other than @peonycats as we developed a lot of these OCs together along with a lot of research of course) in terms of writing their relationships with Russia respectfully or writing respectful OCs in general for quite a few reasons:

Some of these creators don't post their OCs frequently enough for me to pass a judgement on/have become inactive

I don't know some of them personally, so again, cannot pass any judgement

Some creators genuinely have really insensitive portrayals of Siberian groups relationships with Russia

I am aware of certain creators who have excused racism against Northern Asians and others who have defended the Russian state's mistreatment of them (yes, despite posting about Northern Asians). I'm not giving out specific names but I'm not going to recommend them either

This isn't me trying to toot my own horn when it comes to hetalia Siberia OCs as despite my long standing interest, I want to reiterate that I am not from there. But to answer your question on how I would personally represent them/how I'd approach representing them from an outsiders POV (I guess this could apply to other country personification communities too such as countryhumans because of the common theme but I've only ever been in hetalia so,):

I think part of the question can be answered with the post you are referring to. It is vital to understand the nature and history of why Siberian groups are a part of Russia in the first place - colonisation. And it is just as vital to understand and acknowledge the effects of colonisation on such groups and the ongoing mistreatment and injustices they face under the Russian state. Without this in mind, representations of Siberian groups' relationships with Russia end up being tone deaf and one dimensional at best. At worst, orientalist caricatures and/or colonisation apologia.

This does take a lot of reading and research. Not just on the aforementioned topics, but also on orientalist depictions and stereotypes that are associated with Northern Asians. It's all good to be knowledgeable on how the colonisation of Siberia took place and ongoing injustices indigenous Siberians face, but that with no understanding of racist and exoticised stereotypes - a majority of which being a result of colonisation and an overall eurocentric outlook on "unsettled" peoples (putting "unsettled" in quotes here because the concept of a people being unsettled is in itself a eurocentric concept that was used to justify colonisation and the concept of "virgin land" that I talked about in my previous post), still results in insensitive depictions, both overall as characters and especially with their relationship with Russia. It's no good touting facts about how the Sakha people were colonised but then make up headcanons about how Russia had to "teach" Sakha to "behave" (this is a real example I've seen).

That being said, whilst it is obligatory that those topics are read about and applied accordingly, I also believe giving them agency is just as important. I don't want to say "putting too much emphasis on the colonisation aspect" but rather, emphasis on the colonisation and ongoing injustices without giving them a level of agency can also result in insensitive depictions. Siberian groups did and continue to fight/push back against the Russian state and it is just as important that their efforts and diligence against the face of their oppressor is acknowledged. It is correct to acknowledge that they are victims of Russian imperialism, but it is also correct to give them agency and depict them giving Russia pushback. Otherwise, this sort of portrayal diminishes the vast efforts Siberian groups have gone through and continue to go through against a much more powerful nation, and you end up with a bunch of OCs who's entire characterisations consists of merely being a punching bag for Russia.

On the other hand, and this is a depiction I've seen: there is such a thing as tokenising Siberian groups solely in order to signal to people how much you hate Russia. In this way, Siberian groups are depicted only as tools for the original poster to vocalise their distaste of Russia, with little exploration of their relationship with Russia outside of this and frankly, little exploration of them as characters and their history/culture overall other than "lol guys look they're trolling Russia!!!1" (and this is on the rare occasion that they are even talked about by such creators). I have absolutely no problem depicting them trolling Russia or conspiring to ruin Russia's day or something because we all know he deserves it, but this should not be the sole way in which such groups are ever brought up - if they are even talked about in the first place. I'm not saying to depict their relations with Russia as only doom and gloom and I do think the concept of them trolling him or annoying him is funny, but when such groups are only brought up in order to show them pwning Russia and nothing more, it, 1) runs the risk of downplaying the severity of the mistreatment they go through 2) runs the risk of these OCs not having any character outside of their relationship and interactions with Russia 3) can even give off the impression that Russia is the victim of their bad behaviour rather than the other way around.

It's even worse if offensive stereotypes are used in these depictions. Whilst Greenland is not a part of Siberia, groups in Greenland and Siberia are in many ways related not just through history and culture but also in the ways in which they are stereotyped. I've seen a depiction in which it seemed as if the creator was acknowledging that indigenous Greenland groups are mistreated, but to combat this they portrayed Greenland as being a violent, unruly drunkard that "abused" Denmark all the time, but it's okay because Denmark deserved it. Not only is an offensive stereotype of indigenous Greenlanders being used in this "look at Greenland owning Denmark!" portrayal, but Denmark is almost seen as a victim of Greenland's bad behaviour rather than the other way round. This is why I said that it is so important to learn about offensive stereotypes that are associated with Northern Asian folk, because you can be knowledgeable on how they are mistreated but still create insensitive depictions if you are not familiar with racist stereotypes. Nothing wrong with depicting Siberian groups giving Russia pushback, or depicting them annoying or trolling him, but please don't fall into using offensive stereotypes to do so and do not solely use these groups as a tool to display your hatred of Russia - that in itself is dehumanising.

When I say that "I'm not saying to depict their relations with Russia as only doom and gloom", that certainly doesn't mean portray them as being in love with Russia with little acknowledgement of ongoing injustices. Ships are a tricky enough subject in the hetalia fandom because of the nature of the content, however it's important to be sensitive if you are portraying an indigenous and settler relationship, especially if the colonised are still a colonised people with no independent state of their own and are "autonomous regions" that are a part of the coloniser nation state. I will not speak on Siberians who may choose to do this as this is their lived experience (though, I have not come into contact with any so far that do so - and those I have talked to about this topic have shown great distaste towards these types of depictions), but if you are an outsider who chooses to do this you seriously need to be careful (speaking as an outsider).

I cannot tell you what to ship or what not to ship. But I can sure as hell tell you that I have seen depictions of Sakha (for example) being portrayed as a woman who is infatuated/in love with Russia, who has "forgiven" Russia for everything he did, and who selflessly does things for him. And I can't say that the Sakha people I have talked to are impressed with this portrayal.

It's even worse when you consider that the whole "Sakha woman selflessly in love with a Russian man" is literal colonisation apologia:

There is an overglorified myth promoted of a Sakha woman called Abakayade selflessy marrying a Russian settler by the name of Semyon Deshnev, whereas in reality she was forcibly converted and married to him. The picture of the statue I linked above is colonial apologia, that is supposed to represent the "love" between the natives and settlers.

I myself do not ship any Siberian indigenous group with Russia and I'm not planning on doing so. All I can say is to tread lightly, and don't push out flimsy half-baked portrayals without thoroughly thinking about it considering the steep power imbalance between the indigenous and the settlers, especially amidst the recent and ongoing disproportionate mobilisation of indigenous peoples in the invasion of Ukraine. How I see it anyways, there are much higher stakes when shipping an indigenous group and it's settler vs two nations who have a long history of warfare with each other like France and England, or at least two independant nations. I, as an outsider, personally would not romanticise or make a lovey dovey relationship between an indigenous group and the settler group period - especially as I am not indigenous in any sense and when it comes to Siberian indigenous, those I have talked to so far from this region seem to unanimously dislike such portrayals.

This point kind of links to my previous one, but I would not portray a Siberian group and Russia's relationship as the Siberian group being some sort of helper or even something of a mom friend - a "rock to lean on" in Russia's life who "keeps Russia in check". I have seen this portrayal with Sakha, Kazakhstan and even Belarus. It's already quite odd to depict the colonised comforting the coloniser. However it gets a little more problematic when you realise that the colonised are almost being portrayed as accessories of Russia/ enthusiastic bearers of emotional labour for Russia. I have spoken to a Northern Asian who is more familiar with Russian country personification communities and they've seen a portrayal that unfortunately, fits that description almost perfectly.

It's important to portray their relationship with Russia as rounded and with both sides having equal say and shown to be fully developed characters in their own rights, though this applies more specifically to the Siberian OC in the relationship as they are the ones who are often reduced to accessories in their relationship with Russia. By this I mean that depictions of their relationship with Russia centre around Russia's feelings and perspectives with little thought put into their feelings and perspectives. They simply act as sidekicks or side characters to Russia rather than fully fledged out characters with their own agency and opinions. Further, it's pretty egregious to show the Siberian group as acting as comforters to Russia who willingly and even enthusiastically partake in engaging in large levels of emotional labour for Russia to "keep Russia sane" when Siberian groups have historically been exploited by Russia and continue to be exploited by Russia to this very day. From fur tax, to forced conversions and Russification, to nuclear testing sites that resulted in poor health conditions for those who inhabited the area, to the disproportionate mobilisation of indigenous Siberians in the invasion of Ukraine - it hasn't stopped. This isn't to say that you're not allowed to depict a lighter side to their relationship, but to boil it down to "Sakha/Buryatia/Chukotka etc. are fiercely protective of Russia/selflessly goes out of their way to help Russia/act as Russia's rock to lean on" is very... Questionable, considering the circumstances.

Bit of a side note but in general you should not be treating Siberian OCs as exoticised accessories. Of course there is nothing wrong with admiring their clothing or jewellery or arts, however it becomes a problem when outsiders use these aspects of their culture to mystify such groups and subsequently view them through an exoticised lense - and so they are reduced merely to pretty objects for outsiders to ogle, and not groups of real people. Because of how niche Siberia OCs are, some may think that drawing a Siberian in a pretty headdress or posting "Siberian aesthetics" and calling it a day is enough to be deemed as knowledgeable or sensitive on the culture in question despite other actions showing otherwise, because there's not really anyone to call them out on their questionable treatment of such cultures. But just know, it's not acceptable to reduce such cultures to merely aesthetics, real research and most importantly respect is the priority (I have unfortunately interacted with people who would repost indigenous Siberian clothing and aesthetics for example but then at the same time, justify/dismiss their mistreatment under the Russian state.)

On an (almost) final note, I would never portray Russia as being a father or even teacher to any Siberian group - period. I've talked about this in a previously very strongly worded post, however portraying Russia as a father to any Siberian group holds many questionable and downright offensive connotations. First of all, these groups existed before Russian colonisation, they had their own unique histories and cultures before Russian settlers arrived. These groups have histories that go back further than the very concept of Russia. This sort of paternalistic outlook is often used by settlers around the globe and colonisation apologists - that the groups they colonised had no culture and no real tangible history before their colonisers arrived, and that the coloniser in question acted almost as a parent and/or teacher to the colonised, lending them a generous hand to "civilise" and "enlighten" the "barbarous" indigenous people. This kind of portrayal of a Siberian group's relationship with Russia is misguided at best and colonisation apologia at worst. Siberian history did not start when Russians arrived, culture was not gifted to them by Russia.

Finally (can you tell I'm a professional yapper?), this is about portraying 2P!Russia or the "evil side" of Russia as... The Asian/Siberian part of Russia. This goes far beyond a mere "disrespectful" portrayal of Russia's relationship with Siberian groups. I'm going to insert an excerpt here on an up and coming post of mine that centres around how anti-Mongolian sentiment manifests, however anti-Mongolian and anti-Siberian sentiment often overlap because they are Northern Asian groups,

Brief summary of what oriental despotism is:

Oriental despotism is the theory that Asian societies are more inclined/prone to authoritarianism than European societies. It is a eurocentric view which paints Asian civilisations as a monolith and ignores complex power structures and nuances in favour of oversimplifying them as simply being authoritarian/having an extremely strong centralised and most importantly "despotic" (basically, backwards) rule.

"...Russia's weirdness and antisocial behaviour when compared to other European characters being blamed solely on Mongolia/Asiatic influences in Russian culture is the theory of oriental despotism rearing its ugly head even if people are not aware that they are doing it.

This next point not only talks about Mongolia but the indigenous Siberians of Russia. I have seen people make 2p!Russia (AKA "evil" Russia) Asian or represent Siberia because:

1)They want to show the Mongol/Tatar influence/side of Russia

2)They want to show the Siberian side of Russia

Considering 2p Hetalia characters are often portrayed as the "dark side" or "evil side" of nations I don't think I need to explain why this is racist, especially after the explanation of what oriental despotism is

In the case of the Siberians I'd argue it is even more egregious to do this. Siberia is a part of Russia because of Russian imperialism/colonisation. Many indigenous Siberian people were killed, their languages and way of lives close to destroyed or destroyed period, and are being disproportionately mobilised by Russia in Russia's invasion of Ukraine. In fact, Siberian soldiers, especially Buryats who are a Mongolic people, are being scapegoated for the brunt of Russia's war crimes in Ukraine.

Pope Francis himself scapegoated the non-(ethnic) Russian soldiers for a majority of Russia's war crimes in Ukraine:

“Generally, the cruellest are perhaps those who are of Russia but are not of the Russian tradition, such as the Chechens, the Buryats and so on,”

From:

...So not only is Russia being called a continuation of the Mongol Empire, with articles titled "Putin Khan" being published without anyone batting an eye, and with a Siberian/Mongolic ethnic minority being scapegoated for Russia's war crimes despite them being victims of Russian imperialism and an ethnic cleansing, do you understand how insensitive it is to make the "dark/2p Russia" a representation of Siberia or the Mongol/Tatar influence on Russia?

To note: It's not just Buryats being disproportionately mobilised.

To use Russia's indigenous Siberian population as a representation of 2p/dark/evil Russia is so unfair it beggars belief. Those people are victims of Russian colonisation, yet their "despotic, Asiatic" ways will be used by racists to scapegoat Russia's bad behaviour onto, despite again, being victims of Russian colonisation and imperialism themselves.

Yes, Russia colonised you, forced you out of your traditional ways of life and destroyed the use of your language. Yes, the Kremlin is unfair to you and you live in the most deprived and poverty stricken areas of Russia. Yes, you're being disproportionately mobilised in Russia's invasion of Ukraine. But you committed the crime of ruining the whiteness of Russia simply by existing there - your despotic Asiatic ways is one of the reasons why Russia is so backwards, you are at fault for the brunt of the warcrimes committed in Ukraine because you are inherently more "barbaric" than white Russians.

"Confronted with a world ruled by the settler, the native is always presumed guilty" (Frantz Fannon)""

That's all I have to say on that topic for now. I decided to include it as although it's technically kind of a portrayal of Russia's relationship with Siberian groups, as the Siberian groups are all blended into one and then made the "evil" part of Russia. It's genuinely one of the worst interpretations I've seen of Russia and Siberian groups in a hetalia context.

Oh and, this should be obvious. Singular Siberia OCs (as in, "Here is my aph Siberia OC who represents THE WHOLE of Siberia and is the amalgamation of EVERY SINGLE SIBERIAN GROUP INTO ONE!!") will always be offensive, period. I talk about this in a previously strongly worded post and the post mainly centers around this point. What's funny is, this post was part of the reason of why someone thought it was acceptable to harass me with fake accounts on, as they (not Siberian or even Northern Asian) argued people should be "able to do what they fucking want <3" (actual quote) in terms of depicting singular Siberia OCs. Meanwhile, actual Siberians agreed with the post. So, there's that. Again, this seems to be an acceptable interpretation to some which I would find funny if it wasn't so... Stupid? It's like making a singular Africa OC. It completely undermines the diversity of the groups that inhabit Siberia. I've seen people justify this kind of depiction by saying "well all of these cultures were killed by Russia/are dead now anyways so that means it makes sense for them all to be portrayed through (1) personification" I'm sorry but 1) So many of these cultures are still alive and kicking, they most definitely aren't "all dead" 2) Who the hell are you as an outsider to declare a culture dead? Especially when there's evidence to the contrary?

The worst singular Siberia I've seen was an abomination of the singular Siberia OC and "Russia as a father to Siberian groups" mashed into one. It went like "Russia was walking along the empty snowy plains of Siberia and found a little girl there who was the representation of Siberia and he raised her and is partly her biological father". Let's break this down:

Strike 1: The concept of Terra Nullius or "Virgin Land" - Siberia was not an empty no mans land for settlers to roam around in and lay claim on, it has been the home of indigenous Siberian groups for thousands of years

Strike 2: Undermines the brutality of the colonisation of Siberia and the atrocities that took place

Strike 3: Singular Siberia OC

Strike 4: Russia being this personifications biological father and the father who raised her. This has... Extremely disturbing connotations, especially on the biological father part when you consider the sexual violence indigenous Siberian women were subjected to. This is also why I bitched about that interpretation I saw of Sakha being portrayed as a woman who is hopelessly in love with Russia.

Here's that strongly worded post in question, yes I do sound like a grade A bitch here but you would not believe the crap I've seen that lead up to me making this post:

What's most important in depicting Siberian groups' relationships with Russia is by seeking out Siberian perspectives online whether it's through forums or videos, and if it's possible - asking them directly. You cannot make an OC that is a representative of a nation/group of people without centering and incorporating the aforementioned peoples voices, especially if the OC in question is a representative of an indigenous group because frankly, there are higher stakes with such depictions. I understand with certain groups it's harder to directly reach out to them, whether it's because there's not very many of them or for other reasons. In the meantime though, that should not stop you from doing reading and research, and getting into contact with other groups and asking their perspectives.

TL;DR

It's important to do research on the colonisation of Siberia and the ongoing injustices Siberians face at the hands of the Russian state in order to depict a sensitive portrayal of a Siberian group's relationship with Russia. Research should also be done on racist and exoticised stereotypes Northern Asian folk face in order to avoid such stereotypes when depicting such relationships with Russia. They should be acknowledged as victims of Russian imperialism but they should also be given agency and should also be depicted as giving pushback so as to acknowledge the efforts Siberian groups make in order to fight back against mistreatment of the Russian state. I would not personally portray a Siberian group entering into a romantic relationship with Russia as the Siberians I have spoken to are uncomfortable with this kind of depiction, if you choose to do so however as an outsider - be careful.

Siberia OCs should not be treated as accessories or enthusiastic bearers of emotional labour to Russia and should first and foremost be fully fleshed out characters with their own thoughts, feelings and personality outside of Russia before depicting their relationship with Russia so as to avoid unknowingly portraying them as accessories to Russia. I would not portray Russia as being a father or "teacher" to any Siberian group as the former is blatantly historically incorrect and offensive, and both are concepts that are used by settlers and colonisation apologists alike ("the indigenous had no culture or tangible history before we came, we acted as a teacher/parent to them in order to civilise them). Singular Siberia OCs that are meant to represent every single Siberian group in one personification will always be offensive. When making Siberia OCs and depicting their relationships with Russia, research and seeking out Northern Asian perspectives is vital.

My personal interpretation:

Honestly, I think the most positive feeling Siberian groups feel for Russia is tolerance. The baseline emotion they have for him is dislike/distrust. I see Russia as kind of being... Fake nice to them if that makes sense? Not in a two faced sense but I think he likes them on a very surface level as of course they are a part of Russia so he will include them in on things/have groupchats with them/visit sometimes but it's kind of like. Beyond that he isn't so nice in the sense of actually taking their complaints and criticisms to heart and has an "everything is fine ^J^" mentality to things. So many places in the far East of Russia are extremely neglected because the Russian state does not care to improve living conditions for such places - Tuva being a prime example. I think Russia usually gives more attention to regions that he can get something out of, like Sakha with his rich mineral reserves.

Sometimes for PR purposes he'll tokenise Northern Asian groups to tout himself as being a #rich and #diverse nation like "wow, I am such a diverse nation and we treat our ethnic minorities/indigenous groups as one of our own" and "our ethnic minorities are not victims unlike American SJW ones" (actual shit I've seen Russians say). Basically, he'll use them to big himself up all the while his treatment of them is questionable at best. I also think Russia orientalises them to an extent and will sometimes refer to them as "fierce warriors" or some other bullshit like that (again, actual shit I've seen Russians say) and usually doesn't really take their complaints seriously or kind of brushes it off, if not that he'll minimise their complaints. A lot of them usually bite their tongue and roll their eyes at this.

There are quite a few (like Sakha for example) I think who go full on lawyer mode as a way to give Russia pushback (this forces Russia to respond essentially) but also I do think it's funny when they just conspire to ruin Russia's day somehow or troll him/are snappy or petty to him. Basically, they only really tolerate him at best and see right through his childish/innocent/friendly demeanour. Not to say that there aren't lighter moments between them or that every interaction between them ever is antagonistic but yeah. Hm I don't think they're as...Afraid of him as a lot of other nations are? Not that they don't ever fear him or fear the consequences of questioning his actions, but moreso that well - they're a part of Russia of course and so are more used to him. Less fear going around more "oh god what's he going to do this time".

#hetalia world stars #hetalia world series #hetalia world twinkle #historical hetalia #hetalia siberia #aph siberia #hws siberia #aph russia #hws russia #hetalia russia #ivan brag

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wickedhours · 3 months

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hi angels ! my name is kina, and i'm very excited to meet you & your muses and to eventually start writing with everyone !! i would like to introduce my weak - hearted, cat - loving, lost child who is just constantly looking for footing as she feels like she's experiencing a never - ending freefall into the unknown ... sounds dramatic bc she is just a little bit. i have her biography ready to read in case you would like to peek, but under the cut you'll find a summary of her backstory as i did gloss over some details that i knew i wanted to expand on in her intro ! if you're interested in plotting, pls like this post & i will haul myself to your dm's asap !!

( ♡ ) NAVIGATE ⸻ HERSTORY / PROFILE / PLOTS / MUSINGS TAG .

CONTENT WARNING,

sarang's backstory describes her dealing with a condition that is reminiscent of psychosis in addition to experiencing psychotic episodes, caused by stress built-up over time and thus affecting the control of her illusion manipulation. when the aforementioned topics come up in their backstory i will give a brief warning!

HER STORY,

⤷ she is the daugter of aeternals MAGICIAN ( illusionary magic ) and MIRAGE ( mirage inducement ), and she was born july 10, 2000, which was roughly seven months after her parents famously announced their secret marriage and the fact that her mom was even pregnant. they're both known as super private individuals who did not thrive in the public eye so just imagine the collective surprise !!!

⤷ even after sarang is born, she's kept out of the public eye completely. the public expected them to make that choice. it was mostly due to the fact that her parents wanted to wait to see when or if her own power would manifest. they wanted to protect their one and only child as best they could, so if she ended up not being a metahuman they just planned on keeping her identity a secret for as long as they lived.

⤷ luckily for them, sarang manifested her power at eight years old. they kept her a secret for another year and taught her how to control her ability at a very basic level just so that they can put rumors of her not being real to rest !!! they just wanted her to have basic defense skills just in case as they are active aeternals and no-doubt have enemies lurking in different places... they just wanted her to be a little prepared.

⤷ as she grew up, her parents continued to train her privately. they constantly pushed her past her limits in the guise of preparing her for her future as an aeternal. since her powers manifested, her parents knew they wanted her to follow their footsteps. it's a generally unexpected ambition of theirs given their personalities ... tbh sarang doesn't know what their problem is either !

⤷ not to toot her own horn but this girl is cracked with her ability. it's clear that the years spent training difficultly have paid off, bc many consider her to be skilled beyond her years. when she enrolls in the training academy, she confidently assumes she'll graduate with flying colors, and to everyone who asks her parents would say the same. so she's not sure why they constantly feel the need to continue pressuring her to go above and beyond.

⤷ ( tw: psychosis )the aftereffects of their parental guidance become apparent near the end of the semester during her second-last year as a trainee. she first thinks she's being sabotaged affected by another student's ability, perhaps a victim of sabotage, but this theory goes out the window when she realises she's still experiencing weird things outside of classes. why does she keep walking into walls when she clearly saw a door there a second ago? why is her reflection doing something different than her in the mirror? she's embarrassed and scared, and chooses not to tell anyone.

⤷ ( tw: psychotic episode ) it all comes to a head when during a random simulation training session. her concentration is nowhere to be found when it seems like there's so much happening at once !!! it takes longer to get her to snap out of whatever nightmare she might be experiencing, and luckily for her the only person who witnessed this breakdown was the teacher overseeing said session.

⤷ she hastily and impulsively drops out of the academy. it comes as an unexpected and sudden decision but she has been experiencing these abnormalities for too long that eventually she found that she cannot trust herself to become a superhero in the state that she's in. her parents try to save-face by lying to the public and claiming it's only a hiatus to focus on her health and recovery after a minor accident. she can't tell them what she's dealing with out of embarrassment despite their continuous calls to go back. she isn't ready and doesn't think she will ever be !!

⤷ the second chance collective was not unfamiliar, she just didn't think she'd ever step through its doors. the staff welcome her with a warmth she isn't used to, and they are patient with her despite her reluctance to open up at all. they keep the secret of her residency a secret and she is just thankful she feels like she can breathe for once — even if she doesn't know what to do for now. she takes blockers on days she feels particular unwell, but she is afraid of potential overuse so she still has outbursts where she can't control anything.

PERSONALITY,

⤷ prior to her condition worsening, she was known to be very unlike her parents. she loved being around people and enjoyed familiarising herself with those she didn't recognise. she never hated the idea of attention being on her and always tried to be a beacon of warmth to those around her who wanted someone to look to for a friend.

⤷ a lot of these traits still remain true, but there is a little bit of reserve. she really feels a lot of fear deep down as she still doesn't fully trust herself to tell what's real and what isn't. pretending like everything is fine, just like how she always did, makes her feel normal so she's trying to make it seem like nothing has changed.

⤷ i feel like because she's trying so hard to find that normality in her life, she could definitely come off as a bit insincere !! it's not her intention to seem that way, because she is genuinely looking for lifelong connections !!!! she was just so accustomed to feeling like she could make friends naturally that now she feels out of her element ... plus she feels like she has no one on her side ( she cut them out herself out of embarrassment !! ) so she wants to cling onto anyone willing to let her !!!!!

⤷ one of the ways she's trying to feel like she used to is by adopting a cat ... she never had a cat before but she's a natural caretaker and when she dropped out 2 months ago, she was on somewhat of an impulsive streak and officially adopted the stray cat she's been feeding outside her dorm since she became a trainee. she just didn't think he would be so naughty, but she assumes leo is too accustomed to the life of a stray to just suddenly become an indoor cat.

⤷ please don't bring up her parents or what happened during the "incident" or ask when she will be going back to the academy ... she won't say anything and she would like to move on !!! ( as the daughter of the masters of misdirection best believe she will find a way to get this conversation to go elsewhere !!! )

PLOTS / CONNECTIONS / THREADS ETC.,

please see here .........

⤷ i really believe it's easy for her to meet people despite her internal fear so i feel like there's many possibilities !!! i love brainstorming so no worries if nothing below fits either <3

she's kinda innocent. very much a good-girl who has never done anything wrong in her life nor has she ever thought about it. feel free to corrupt her slowly bc i think it would be funny ! she doesn't plan on becoming a superhero anyway so ... take that as u will.

she's a caretaker and it's ok to admit that sometimes it's a bad thing ! she can be overbearing but who else is going to take care of this person if not her !!!

for someone who was this close to become a superhero herself, she has gotten into trouble yet again. it's usually self-inflicted but this time it's not and she needs a little bit of help since she's not going to use her own abilities to get out of this ( they can be angry with her about it after if they know her ability, or take the nickname of her saviour in stride if they don't )

fellow ex-trainees pls unite ... if they weren't a friend of hers while they were in the academy she would like to change that :)

she doesn't consider herself to be lucky in the department of love due to a number of reasons but still goes on blind dates set up by someone she knows. it's something people her age do at least ... which is one way to feel normal?

she knows that her cat is a bit of a wildcard and incredibly independent but she has a heart attack every time he disappears for more than a couple hours. imagine the betrayal she feels when she's in the middle of putting up lost posters and leo walks out of their apartment ...

she really hates the idea of going to therapy sessions and dislikes talking about her problems but she decided to attend a group session in case it would help change her mind. seeing a familiar face doesn't ease her nerves but she forgot to bring blockers to prevent her stress from making her act out.

it's very very very hard to get on her bad side, mostly bc she tries too hard to see the good in people. maybe it was a misunderstanding that was never cleared up but she really cannot be in the same room as them ... how will they interact when they're stuck on the elevator together ...

#rj:intro #psychosis tw #photoshop and i are NOT!!!! friends #so im sosry for the half *ssed graphicnsjkfndjs #im gna have dinner now so i will get back to everyone after („• ᴗ •„)#` ♡ ⸻ 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 : INTRODUCTION .

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chipper-asks · 2 years

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Hi! I've been following you for a good while now and have always rly admired the community you've build, and, your art itself, obviously, it's always very cozy in here. May be a strange question, but as a relatively popular artist on the interned, are there any tips you could share on how to engage and sustain an audience? maybe you know some recourses for artist to get their art seen? I've been an artist posting online for roughly 10 yrs and pretty much failed at accumulating any sort of prominent presence. I don't feel bad about it really, it's not why I do art per say, but these are pretty rough times and unfortunately other means of art monetization grow thinner with stupid updates & algorithms forcing anyone who can't afford payed adds or subscriptions out of business. I kinda have to make use of social media, even if it's not my element in the slightest. Feel free not to answer if you feel like it. Thanks in advance! Also big thanks for your shouts of my art overall, I really appreciate your support!

So I've had a post in my drafts for who knows how long detailing how to build and curate your audience online. But I haven't found a good way to go about posting it because I didn't want it to come off as tooting my own horn xD

BUT YOU HAVE ENABLED ME SO HERE WE GO!!!

(im going to generalize, you may already be doing some of these things but I think its good info for anyone who wants to build an online presence)

1. Engaging your audience

A: First, you have to think of the platform you're sharing your art on and what people use it for. Not even tumblr, but the internet as a whole. It is a place where people form communities and share information. It's also one of the most popular ways to mentally escape; from school, boredom, to the horrors of real life.

So if you want people to find you, make a space where they can escape/feel community.

This means: No callout posting, no venting, no doom posting, no politics, no guilt posting, no anything that would make you unfollow someone else if you were having a bad day.

It's okay to have an occasional vent or political post cause we're human, but trauma dumping is something thats very hard for someone else to read and honestly should you be putting that kind of information online, the internet is a place of community but it also isnt safe.

B: The Value of Fandoms

It's time for some metrics, featuring my own follower count.

I've been on tumblr for 9 years and I have been making an effort to grow my base as a way of getting money as a freelancer (like you) so I started doing this allll the way back in highschool. I can remember each milestone and which fandom I got them in

1,000 I got when I was posting stuff for Undertale

2,000 I got when I was posting stuff for The Property of Hate

there was a big break between these milestones where I was just drawing ocs and object heads and stuff, but nothing I was hyperfixated on

5,000 I got from Hollow Knight

but then something really unexpected happened.

In late 2021 and early 2022 I decided cringe was a worthless social construct and decided to fully indulge in my enjoyment of doodling dragons.

I juuust inched past 5,000 when 2022 started. I Ended Up With 12,000 as 2022 ended. That's more than double. As of posting this I am at 13,600 and its only February.

So how did that happen? I could tout along and say that it was simply luck and I wasn't really making an effort anyway but that's a big fuckin lie, i've been "selling out" this whole time (it's not fucking selling out to post in fandom. You like a thing? You go to the thing's community and post about the thing)

Posting in a fandom is essentially like, now bear with me, advertising for your blog. Fandom is where the eyes are and where the traffic goes. Big tags like #artistsontumblr #tumblrart #art are used OFTEN but they're too general and often people look for things that are specific. Fandoms like Hollow Knight, BNHA, Mob Psycho, The Owl House, etc are currently popping off and have a lot of traffic.

This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to join a popular fandom to post your work in to get followers, it just means that if you're into a show or a media, post it on your main art blog and don't make side blogs. Keep it all together

Why?

Because 5% of those fandom people stick around for YOUR STUFF and those 5% of people are the best goddamn people in the world. You want those 5% to see EVERYTHING you do and THEY'RE the ones who will recommend you to THEIR friends and do outreach on your behalf because they like YOU and not YOUR STUFF.

i fuckin love those guys

So as you hop from fandom to fandom, you're going to lose some people but that's fine. Everyone curates their experience online and if you head off in a direction they don't like then they can deal with it. The rest come along for the ride cause 1: they either really like your stuff or 2: are into the new thing you're getting into.

SO ANYWAY

posting in fandoms under one name is GOOD because it puts everyone in the same bucket that will see your stuff and there's a chance that a few will stick just for your stuff. It is not cheap, its how you reach out to people to help cheer up their day and escape from things stressing them out.

C: What should you post?

So this is something that isn't an exact science but if you're looking to increase your follower count, this is something you can keep in mind.

Because this is the internet and the digital word of escaping from stress, people flock to things that are

1: Familiar 2: Funny 3: Relatable

So i've already been over fandoms and that's something that goes into the Familiar category. Familiar can also mean generalized but still popular concepts, like werewolves, dragons, vampires, apocalyptic scenarios, etc.

The more you trail into something niche, like marine biology, the seelie/unseelie courts, object heads, etc, the less traffic you'll find. There are communities centered around these but they're not massive like certain fandoms.

Which is how you end up with artists who spend hours upon hours on every piece only getting like 14 - 32 notes per piece. It's not lack of people caring or lack of interest, its the fact that these artists haven't "advertised" their blogs in fandom. Those people who end up caring about more personal posts are those 5% you find from fandom spaces. Their Familiar from that fandom begins to include your artwork as Familiar and thus they're more likely to share it.

Funny is simple. Tumblr is a platform of shitposts and memes. Do you have a favorite character in a fandom? Shitpost them. 2 birds with one stone, Familiar and Funny. I can't teach you how to be funny, but if you see something that makes you laugh online, pause and try to find out why and see if you can replicate it. (You wont get it in one go)

Relate-ability is also simple. If someone finds something they can easily associate with they will eagerly tag #mood #me or @ one of their friends in the post.

What doesn't get people following just by itself is your skill.

This sounds really fucking depressing but hear me out.

Your skill in art is a multiplier. It can take those three categories from above and BOOST IT to fantastic new heights. People love things that are from their fandoms that are funny and relate-able. People go FERAL for shit that is from their fandoms that are funny, relate-able AND COOL AS FUCK. If art represented x5 in an equation and you have nothing else, you get 0. If you include any of those three other things and then x5, you get something grand.

2. Sustaining your Audience.

If you want to set up your blog as a platform to eventually gain freelance income from, you need to make it yours and not your audience's.

This is key to prevent burnout and feeling obligation to create for thousands of featureless faces and losing sight of what made you enjoy art in the first place.

It is REALLY EASY to fall into that pit, especially as you grow your audience. When you have a small audience, it's easier to interact one on one with someone. Engagement is exciting when you have a small audience! People? Interested in your work!! Fuck yeah!!

But as you reach those milestones, the vibe begins to change. More and more people demand your attention. People who are new don't see you as an artist they knew from another fandom, they see you as a content creator and that is the worst goddamn stone wheel to get stuck around your neck.

You can still respond to requests and answer silly questions, but now you have to keep in mind that if you draw this little dragon for someone, three other people are going to ask for their own little dragons. And that's fine because you love dragons and they asked so nicely. You make those dragons but now there's seven people asking for their own dragons and you actually want to work on something other than dragons-- but you made those dragon doodles for those other people so wouldn't it be hypocritical to say no-

It becomes a spiral.

So to prevent that situation from happening, you need to respect your boundaries as an artist and what you will do and what you will draw the line at. If someone doesn't like you for that, they can unfollow.

In terms of posting regularly to sustain your audience, i've found that it helps but ultimately doesn't matter.

(this is a tumblr centric view, i cannot say the same for other platforms)

The way tumblr works resembles a massive recycling facility. You will see shit on your dash from 7 years ago but you dont mind, its how this place works.

It doesn't matter how often you post. You won't lose priority on people's dashboards if you don't make your daily art post. What matters is that you just make the post.

Each post you make is like sending out a bucket of chum into the grand ocean of tumblr. The more buckets of chum you have, the more likely you are to attract fish. The more you post the larger your radius is. The more variety you make in spreading out to different fandoms the wider your range is. And these spots of chum don't go away! They're permanent brown spots in a big blue wasteland and fish will stumble across it and then try to find the source.

Basically, you can disappear for an entire month and then suddenly return out of nowhere and shove 57 posts into a week and then disappear again and people will show up and stick around.

THis post is getting really long and there are probably some things im missing but my hadns are getting achy and i think that's my call to stop :p

if you have anymore questions tho im very willing to answer 👍

#asks #long post #nofandom

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