#not to shit on queer headcanons i love queer headcanons i’m just being a bitch

[hopeworth]

ever look at a trans headcanon and be like he would NOT trans his gender

[a-grayscale]

In honor of pride month, here’s some modern cult of the lamb headcanons I have for the bishops+Lamb

Shamura, the majesty they are, would be super chill and nonchalant about it. Like, treating it like a typical Tuesday but with an extra bit of pizzazz or something like that. Think Pajama day; Still gotta do work but it’s still somehow more fun. I’m thinking they would be like:

Hmm? Oh, it’s Pride month? *Gets out a pride-themed mug for their coffee and puts a few pins on their clothes* Happy pride.

Kallamar would be all over it methinks. He gives off the vibe that he’s redecorate the entirety of his home every month to fit the aesthetics of the season anyway, so he’s prepared. I’m talking pride flags, rainbow fairy lights, fruit cake(get it? Cuz fruity? Hehehe), and an entire pride themed wardrobe. There is not a single atom in my being that doesn’t think this bitch would go extra AF.

Heket, whom I head-canon to be a very buff Lesbian, just does not care. Not in the sense that she doesn’t like the month of acceptance and everything but uhhh… She’d get REAL sick of the rainbows REAL FAST! Mostly from the obnoxious marketing from companies trying to make an extra buck, but sick of it nonetheless. I just think she’d get very drained very early on from all the everything. That being said, she will kiss her girlfriend in public right by that one homophobe’s house just to piss them off for HER version of pride. Which is feeding off the rage of haters.

Leshy most definitely is that one person who would reenact the “Move, I’m gay” meme. A whole month to cause mischief? And Chaos? All for being queer??? Oh he is ON BOARD!!! He is ABSOLUTELY going to make it everyone else’s problem!!! I’m talking a whole LIST of pride themed pranks! From glitter bombs that shoot rainbow sparkles, to graffiti pride flags on the side of the local Walmart, to egging someone’s (Narinder’s) house, with RAINBOW INSIDES BECAUSE YES HE MANAGED THAT!!! Leshy would be ecstatic for the opportunity to live out the saying: Be gay, do crime.

Narinder, the bisexual bitch, just doesn’t do shit… On his own, anyway. Before he met The Lamb, he basically treated it like any other day, just with cleaning up RAINBOW eggs instead of NORMAL eggs off his home. ( How Leshy managed to color the insides of eggs rainbow, he will never know) AFTER meeting the Lamb though… Well, suddenly he is all for it! Getting pins, joining the parades, connecting with other people, breaking into Leshy’s apartment and painting his floors blue knowing Leshy’s landlord will be stopping the next day as a counter prank, etc. He will never admit it aloud but Lamb single-handily put the happy in happy pride for him.

Lamb absolutely LOVES pride. They are very much extroverted and love doing fun stuff like going to parades and connecting with other people and singing Lady Gaga’s Born this way on karaoke night for all to hear! They aren’t SUPER crazy about it, but they love the experience and making new friends along the way. (Plus it helps them drag Narinder out of the house, so that’s a plus!)

[paintedvanilla]

queer fight club character headcanons ??? doesnt necessarily have to be character x character but more of just. gay shit they do!!! personally i like to think that the narrator didn’t realize he was gay until he accidentally took control while tyler was making out with a guy in their highschool years and he was like? why don’t i hate this??

HAIIIIII YEAS

Ok so. I’m so sorry I’m a little bitch and I always think about them in terms of Tyler being real BUT.

I’m actually. In the process of writing a fic about how they get together which explores a lot of the narrators relationship with his sexuality. The long and the short of it, in my au, the narrator didn’t know he was gay until meeting Tyler and becoming obsessed with him. And he remained in denial about it for a while. He’s always assumed he was straight but just. Not attracted to any woman he’s ever met. He thought he just had a low sex drive. He kinda had a superiority complex about it. His body count prior to Tyler was 2. Or more accurately, 1.5. Never stopped to do any introspection or anything. Realizes he’s gay while living with Tyler and also realizes he’s OBSESSED with Tyler and wants to be in this man’s skin. Really fully comes to terms with it and makes peace with being perceived as a gay man after he and Tyler get together.

Tyler on the other hand. I am a Tyler Durden bisexuality TRUTHER. This man does not USE the label bisexual, he just knows he likes who he likes and he has always been comfortable with that.

Both these men throw around the f slur constantly. As is their right.

Marla is also bisexual. Marla and Tyler bond over this. Marla and Tyler both love women and the fact that the narrator is not even a little bit affected by women in the slightest is so alien to both of them. Marla has had all kinds of affairs with all kinds of people, I think she has a preference for men but really she’s open to all experiences all the time.

ALSO. I THINK THE NARRATOR IS THAT TWEET THATS LIKE. “I’m probably non-binary but I have a desk job so I’m not worried about it right now” except the word “non-binary” is not in this man’s vocabulary. But he likes when Tyler calls him his girlfriend interchangeably with calling him his boyfriend. He refused to do any introspection about his sexuality for 30 years until he was violently confronted with it and he will continue to do no introspection on his gender until he Has To.

That’s all thank you for tedding my talk

[simptasia]

it occured to me that i have a lot of bi headcanons for lost where it’s like, the character hasn’t accepted it yet. part of this is because 2004 to 2007 was somehow still having issues grappling with this concept

so i’m making a list of bi headcanons in lost, but it’s the characters who haven’t accepted it and why they haven’t yet (or ever)

internalized biphobia ahoy!

jack

he’s attracted to women so rationally he’s not gay, right? yeah he’s using the it’s one or the other logic. jack knows there’s nothing wrong with being gay. he’s just not gay. that’s fine. it’s fine. [shakes images out of his head]

also i know in my heart that christian and margo are queerphobic. not in the full on getting the belt out way but in the passive aggressive way

claire

she just assumes all straight women feel this way about women and it takes a while for it to occur to her that she’s just in a bizarre form of denial

desmond

he regards his experiences with other men in the army to be “experimenting” and he chooses not to dwell on it

richard

it just took a reeeeally long time for him to find his closet key (miles). the bisexuality was always waiting inside him, it just didn’t unlock until he was like 179 ish. and yes, miles finds this fucking baffling in a “you’re this hot and you’ve been alive this long and you haven’t been getting both kinds of ass??” way

ben

he grew up aware that queer people exist (dharma being a hippie commune) but also instilled in him that it’s weird and gross (roger). but also i think ben has a weird view of sexuality, that sexual desire makes people... weaker? in the sense that he’s observed that people act foolish for sex and love and therefore such emotions are a weakness and he’s better than that

so it’s a weird thing where ben isn’t homophobic to other people (if tom, greta and bonnie are any indication) but he is to himself. but he’s also shaming himself for having sexual desire at all. i think cuz he’s convinced himself that he’s selfless and utterly devoted to jacob and the island. sometimes he almost believes his own lies. but yeah anyways touching himself makes him feel icky, whether it’s about men or women or both so... yeah

locke

okay, locke is bi to me but i’ve always been ? about his sexuality because wow, locke feels like such a nonsexual being to me. so like does locke know he’s bi? i think so? but i don’t think he’d ever call himself that

i think if you asked, locke would say “i don’t wanna label it” or something

besides anything else, he’s an older man who grew up in the foster care system, i have to assume he grew up hearing that being queer is a Bad Thing

locke doesn’t agree but he’d rather not commit to the concept. like, maybe locke thinks being Gay would require him to do things or act a certain way rather than just be. so he’s just like “i am what i am” and stares at a sunset

sawyer

okay now here’s a bitch who actually would be homophobic, biphobic, etc. and it’s directed at himself also. he’s got an idea in his head of what gay dudes are like and no way is he like that so he’s not gay. as for being bi, i think if somebody (eg. charlie) said they were bi, he’d roll his eyes because he thinks they’re saying it for attention. “oh yeah everybody’s bi nowadays, pfft”

also i think sawyer thinks bi people, if they exist, are just people who have threesomes all the time. all the while, he is bi and he’s just making himself not confront it. and hey, even if he was, ya know, queer - not that he is - he’s giving not taking so it’s less gay, obviously. yeah, his bisexuality got all tainted by toxic masculinity. i love sawyer but i ain’t gonna pretend he ain’t got some macho posturing shit going on. and he’s canonically bigoted

shannon

making out with girls is just something you do for fun, haha it’s just silly time, it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not like Real Love, haha, your lips are so soft...

....oh

boone

a combo of not wanting to be mocked and a bad case of “it doesn’t count if”. it’s just porn, it doesn’t count because it’s not real. as long as i don’t do stuff with a dude, it doesn’t count. okay so i did stuff with a dude, but it was a threesome and a girl was there so it doesn’t count. okay okay i did stuff with a dude and it wasn’t a threesome but he never put it inside me so it doesn’t count. okay this dude put it inside me but-

and so on

(and to make it weirder, i think boone would just be gay if shannon didn’t exist. like the Wants Girls part of his sexuality only exists because of her. yikes)

anyways

assume that other characters i consider bi had issues with it when they were younger but are pretty much over it by the time of adulthood (tho charlie does grapple with it. like he’s accepted being bi in a “well, there’s no hope for me anyways” kind of way, so it’s... back handed self acceptance?)

thank you for your time

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

WHAT THIS SHIT WAS IN THEATERS HOLY FUCK??

well i’m glad there’s more content to watch bc i just finished this shit 💀💀💀 god damn im excited to see that ship material bc i havent been so big on shipping in the main storyline bc like friendship is a more consistent thing ~ but i sure as hell can appreciate it when i see it - which means if my ass sees sum kiribaku ima scream bc my bitchass has been deprived these last few seasons LIKE WTF SHOW ME MY BOYS

and i am excited for rody - because in the main storyline its like they keep hinting at ochaco and deku i feel like, but i wouldnt care if they were romantic or stayed as friends tbh, and honestly as im typing this i hope they stay friends cause boys and girls can be friends without it being romantic dammit 😤

but yeah omg i can start one of the movies tomorrow then ahhh

also i know so many of these bitches are queer, this show just needs to admit it

tho one i cant decide on is shoto?? mineta is always shittin on the ladies being all over him which is true bc he is GORGEOUS but homeboy got a goal in mind that isnt romance 💀 and ik theres a lot of diff ships w him that i havent really looked into so for now hes just been best boy i love him

I've seen people headcanon him as ace! I personally liked him with midoriya before rody appeared, and now I just love the idea of him with sero. I have a post about it that I made last night xjcndjfjf

Please feel free to scream about this with me ahhhhh

It took me reading the Manga and rewatching the show to like. Fully appreciate the rest of class A outside the main like. Trio? And to appreciate class B as well. But man now I love them all (mineta excluded) so so much it drives me kind of crazy

[justanisabelakinnie]

Hey so guess what I found on TikTok. Someone’s shitty as Encanto hcs. Bitches like these are why people who have hcs without ignoring the plot or the movie still get a bad rap. Yeah I can see even clearer now why Latine fans are upset again but let’s dig into this train wreck.

Mariano did what?! Mariano would never do that?! Also it’s weird that you have four single girls right there that you could headcanon as a lesbian and yet you pick her. Not that you can’t still have your headcanon it’s just weird. Also, she never liked guys? Then how come the prophecy was of the “man of my dreams”? I’m confused. Was they just comphet. I dunno. I love lesbians with every fiber of my being but not very female character has to be one. Oh wait but it gets worse.

So Mariano cheated on her for her “tics” that aren’t actually tics but are common traits of Latina women?! Yeah good luck finding a woman who doesn’t “tic” Mariano. Got some internalized racism that you might wanna check out there bud.

Also “she wasn’t having it obvs” so then what? Mariano cheated on her because he couldn’t stand those little “tics” of hers and so she decided to become a lesbian?! That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of it works, but go off Susie.

“She currently has two girlfriends and they make Mariano jealous all the time lol” Is she really a lesbian or is she just using these innocent women to get back and Mariano Johnnyboy? Do you even know what a lesbian is. Go grab a damn dictionary.

Next is Bruno, which imo is the worst.

“Gay trans rat man” okay and that’s totes why he ran away. Because as we all know that prophecy of his that he had after Mirabel’s ceremony showed him not being accepted by that hOm0phOOOObIc woman Abuela and running away to protect his identity from her. Right? Riiiiiight? It’s like these people made up a fantasy Encanto in their heads that is all about queer acceptance. Just go watch The Prom. Or The Owl House if you want a diverse movie of a queer Latina.

Also, Alma dead? Seriously? Tell me you’re white without telling me you’re white.

Not this again. Next you’re gonna tell me that Camilo is genderfluid with DID too. Sigh. *sips tea*

*chokes*

They then go on to say “There isn’t much else to say about her”…just the level of dismissiveness and ignorance there. Anyway they also have the lesbian pride flag too but they never mention it, not even once.

And finally my “favorite”.

Well I agree with this one at least. Finally one that isn’t harmful. I quite like the character I relate to the most having the same sexuality as me! Let’s see what else they’re going to say!

YASS AMEN SISTAH GO FIERCE QUEEN! I gotta say this is probably the only good one! At least they didn’t make some stupid shit up like—

“She was scared of coming out for so long because Alma was homophobic and wanted her to be perfect.” Oh wait, never mind.

Also don’t think I didn’t catch you misspelling Isabela you dumb bitch.

Thank goodness the rest of the comments are calling him out or imma go insane.

Yeah.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Season 4, Episode 6: An Extremely Chaotic and Incoherent Review

My favorite episode!!! GET READY FOR HEAD FULL MANY THOUGHTS

The Good:

"Kicks Get Chicks" *is the gayest episode in the entire season* Kicks get DICKS more like

"Sure, we're good for the occasional inspirational moment, but we're not exactly center mat material" HA, love that this fucker is self aware

He knows he's the Comic Relief Guy and he embraces it fully

"He who shall not be named" absolutely LOVE how Demetri just fucking despises Robby now but is trying to be lowkey about it so as not to stir the pot

If he could I'm pretty sure Demetri would pummel this man six ways to Sunday

Once again reminding everyone that Robby paralyzed and nearly killed Demetri's best friend, betrayed his and Demetri's dojo, and then held down and forcefully shaved Demetri's other best friend

Yeah he wants to like...murder Robby at this point honestly

I can't blame him, either--if someone fucked over my bestie, my dojo, AND my crush??? I would indeed be out for blood, yes

The way Demetri looks CRUSHED when Daniel's like "I know you're missing your friends but we have to put the past behind us" :( :( :(

He just wants his boyfriend back god bless

Wow no wonder Tory's fucked up, with an aunt like THAT

GOOD LORD

This season is kinda making me love Tory, I'll admit

I never thought I'd see the day but here we are

SIAHDZUIYVDX JOHNNY TRAINING IN A PLACE WITH BLACK MOLD

Could this man BE any more delightfully unhinged

Johnny Lawrence's dojo marketing will never NOT be hysterical

"Smack-dab between the pipe supply and the burned-down Chuck E. Cheese" SIR

"I'm asexual" WELL at least we exist on television, right???

I guess this is the queer rep we get for Season 4, RIP

YOOOOO IT'S MY GIRL MOON

"I can't do the whole physical aggression thing" Remind me again why she and ELI FREAKING MOSKOWITZ are meant to be compatible at all??? Literally what even would they talk about??? Well REGARDLESS, can't help but admire her staunch determination to be a pacifist in a high school singlehandedly spearheading the local karate wars

"She's the best athlete in school and she's not afraid to get into a fight" Okay don't get me wrong, I'm still seething over Moon and Piper breaking up, BUT I do find it absolutely HYSTERICAL that Moon apparently has a type

Even funnier that Yasmine lowkey fits her type too, which is apparently mean, cocky bitches who don't take shit from anyone

Oh SHIT, Sam catching Amanda talking to Tory??? This boutta get JUICY

OKAY HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

BASEMENT SCENE LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO

I've got a lot to say here but I'll try to organize my thoughts somewhat

FIRST OF ALL, I am absolutely delighted that my headcanon that these two have been friends since kindergarten and can easily let themselves into each other's houses is correct!!!

Also Demetri's gay ass is obsessed--I have a lot of long-time childhood friends, and I don't have the location of their spare house keys memorized XD

"You should really think about increasing your security given, you know, THE KARATE WAR???" Not Demetri still being the most overprotective goddamn boyfriend I've ever SEEN

He gets pissy at his friends whenever they do (or suggest) something dangerous that could get them hurt, and it's kind of hilarious but also adorable

He cares so much but has like 0 tact in showing it, bless his soul

The overprotective pissiness is turned up to eleven with Eli though, which is pretty gay

I knew so many dudes in high school who were obsessed with and idolized Batman to a weird extent so like

A very confident "YOU'RE BATMAN!!!" from a guy who seems to be one of those Batman-obsessed boys is uh

Basically a love confession

"Oh, I forget, you're not a DC guy" losing my MIND, I can't believe absolute edgelord Eli Moskowitz isn't into the kind of dark, gritty shit DC is constantly putting out XD

Plot twist of the century honestly

"Forget Batman, you're The Hawk!!!" Hey um check and fucking MATE, haters who threw shade at Demetri for being a bad friend because he never fully accepted the "Hawk" persona

He wouldn't use that as a means of trying to build back Eli's confidence if he hadn't learned to embrace "Hawk" at least somewhat????

And like even if he's still not the biggest fan of "Hawk," he thinks talking about that is what'll make Eli happy and help cheer him up and feel better about himself

He just wants Eli to be his best, happiest self ;__;

"I just proved I was an asshole. To Moon, to Miguel...especially you." Gonna point out that he listed what I think are the 3 most important people to him and he emphasized Demetri

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM AFTER HE SAYS THAT OH GOD THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM

And I could swear his voice cracks a little, like he's legit getting choked up just thinking about all the fuckery he subjected Dem to

This dude still has so much guilt festering in him about what he did to Demetri, fucker loves Demetri so much ;_;

"I forgave you, remember?" Dem of course we remember you giving in to Eli's puppy dog eyes in all of 2 seconds because you're deeply in love with him

OPE my homebody Demetri literally says he doesn't give a fuck how Eli does his hair, he still thinks he's the shit regardless

Sorry "Demetri only accepts Eli and not Hawk" truthers, y'all are wrong again

He loves all versions of Eli Moskowitz, he just doesn't want him to be an asshole actually

Which seems reasonable to me

Tfw when you say "Miyagi-Do needs you" but what you really mean is "I need you"

Gay gay homosexual gay

Okay I read some steaming hot takes about Demetri coming to emotionally blackmail Eli to join Miyagi Do or whatever, but...no??? The dude is clearly just panicking and venting and also has no filter at all when he's stressed

Like everything here just seems like panicked word vomit to me, he doesn't seem nearly controlled enough to come in with some devious plan to trick Eli into joining his dojo :/

The whole ramble when Demetri first comes down into the basement reads like he's having an anxiety attack tbh

Can't really blame him, since he's dealing with the stress of worrying Cobra Kai is gonna wipe the floor with him AND his recently-traumatized best friend going totally fucking AWOL

And Demetri seems like the type who snaps and lashes out when he's worried and/or stressed, and like I said, that could account for the absolute lack of any filter he has here

Hence "WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK??? IT'LL GROW BACK!" Certainly not the most tactful thing to say, but Demetri is way too anxious to think before he blabs, it seems

Ah, so it's the "That's just great, you're choosing Eagle Fang over your best friend" line that everyone's getting hot and bothered about

Honestly I chock this one up to anxiety-induced word vomit, too...like Demetri is kinda just rambling and speaking his mind and his panicky thoughts are going BRRRRRRR so fast that he's definitely not stopping to consider if he's coming across as an ass

And anyways, like...considering Johnny DID help mold Eli into a dude who fully embraced toxic masculinity and bullied the shit out of Demetri, I...don't think it's that unreasonable for him to have reservations about Eli going back to Eagle Fang :/ Like I don't blame him for not wanting Eli to go back to a situation that brought out some of the worst in him

And also like??? Eli fucken dragged Demetri through the ringer and Demetri only just got Eli back in his life a few months ago, of course he would panic if he thought Eli was gonna leave him behind again!

And maybe even lash out and be a bit of a dick, cuz ya know. Homeboy's not perfect

So Eli saying "I'm not going BACK to Miyagi-Do" instead of "I'm not JOINING Miyagi-Do" implies they've discussed Eli joining MD before. I do feel like this needs to be its own scene to clarify, but it's still important to note

So no, he's not tryna guilt trip Eli into joining MD out of nowhere, he's following up on something he and Eli seem to have previously talked about

The "OH SHIT" look on Demetri's face when Eli says he quits KILLS me. Like that's his wakeup call that oh fuck, this is THAT serious and he looks absolutely horrified that Eli has hit rock bottom so hard he's resorted to quitting that has essentially become his favorite thing in the world ;___;

"Yes I will be awake" "NO SENSEI BE WOKE" Johnny Lawrence you are literally always going to make me just lose it

"What about nonbinary and genderfluid?" "Yes fluids are CRUCIAL, if you don't hydrate, it affects performance" He a little confused, but he got the spirit!!!

Also headcanon that Moon is genderfluid but isn't publicly out yet--Piper was one of the only people Moon came out to

Hence why Piper is so quick to make sure Johnny is including genderfluid people! You dun best believe she’ll still defend her ex-girlfriend’s honor

My main reasoning here is that Moon is the most transgender name I have ever heard in my entire life

Highkey love seeing Miguel and Johnny's relationship at its best again. I missed them so much!!!

Honestly good on Sam for standing up for herself!!! She's highkey right that her parents haven't really been listening to her or trying to properly address her trauma

Like for FUCK'S sake, the girl has PTSD!!! Put her in therapy!!!

Oh HELL yes, Amanda backstory!!! Let's fuckin GOOOO!!!

Oh shit, she got arrested??? PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY

I mean given that she married someone as chaotic and hotheaded as Daniel this shouldn't actually come as a surprise but STILL

Oh damn, I was wrong!!! I thought Amanda took pity on Tory because she saw some of young Daniel in her, but she actually sees a lot of her younger self in her ;___; Okay okay okay okay I need a minute

Lowkey they're right that "bad kids" just get told the same thing over and over and it's never gonna help course-correct

"She's not the only one who needs a wake-up call" *cuts to Eli in a depressive funk fully believing he can never do karate again* CIMENA

"You put me in a situation where I had to join the dojo" this is probably the kindest possible way to put it, considering said "situation" was "threatening me and then attempting to beat me up over a Yelp review" XD

Ah, so I see Demetri has regained some semblance of tact! Guess the worst of the anxiety attack finally passed, now that he's had the chance to take in that Eli is in fact safe (if having quite the Sadboi Hours) and not kidnapped and beat up by Kyler and co.

Uhhhhh not Demetri telling Eli that him getting Dem into Eli's special interest was the best thing that ever happened to him

Like you telling anyone that them getting you into something they liked is the best thing that ever happened to you is just so Extra and over-the-top that it's extremely difficult not to read as romantic because like

I've had a lot of friends get me into stuff over the years, and I never looked them dead in the eye like "YOU INTRODUCING ME TO THIS THING WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME"

Anyways tl;dr Demetri is in love

Duh

ALSO Eli's wide-eyed, pleasantly surprised look when Dem says karate is the best thing that ever happened to him, MY HEART

Oh god oh why oh no Eli looks SO FUCKING SAD when Demetri starts talking about Yasmine

Thanks I hate it

I know that look, that's the EXACT expression I make when my crush starts talking about their crush

*Bart Simpson voice* "You can pinpoint the exact moment his heart rips in half!"

"It's not gonna be as exciting if you're not there" I stg this fucker Demetri just sees the world through this sad, destitute, mopey lens when Eli isn't around and then Eli shows up and suddenly everyone upped the color saturation by like 500% and everything is all vibrant and fantastic

Again, this dude is in love

Also the way he looks at Eli when he says it, MY GOD

YOOO THERE WE FUCKIN GO THERE'S THAT SHOULDER SQUEEZE

"Scuse me" *Eli proceeds to have 0 issues with Demetri getting all up in his personal space and practically cuddling with him* Yeah, these dudes are GAY

Like Demetri is LEANING on this man like a giant cat and Eli is just like "I have no problem with this"

"I say a lot of things" God you sure do

THERE'S THE SQUEEZE THERE'S THE SQUEEZE THERE'S THE PRECIOUS SHOULDER SQUEEZE

I'm going feral actually

You tellin me this dumb video has 15k views??? I'm betting this is a viral meme in certain niche circles

And there's definitely some YouTube community who ships them

THESE IDIOTS CAN'T SING

Also are you telling me Demetri made his codename "zer0" and Eli's codename "the 1" and he's NOT in love with Eli???? Uh HUH

Like it's the perfect manifestation of Demetri's cripplingly low self-esteem (wouldn't be surprised if the dude really did consider himself a "zero" of sorts) and him fully indeed believing Eli is in fact The One (romantic)

And he's right!

Also can we appreciate just how INTO IT Eli is getting in the video??? Like this dude has literally always had a hammy, overdramatic side, it's just that prior to them meeting Miguel, Demetri was the only person who could bring it out ;__;

Absolutely HYSTERICAL that Eli is still so deeply and personally offended at the mere idea of being a "loser" XD

The utter HORROR on his face when he says it, I can't with him

"Because this is who you are" "A loser?" "My BEST FRIEND" *sobs*

Also I'm very certain that Demetri could potentially have made other friends and wasn't actually "stuck" with Eli before Miguel showed up, but he just straight up never wanted anyone but Eli as his best friend

"I know you think that mohawk defined who you are, but it didn't. Not to me. Eli, Hawk, hell, call yourself Cornelius for all I care. None of that changes the fact that you're my Binary Brother." ONCE AGAIN CHECK-MATING YOU FUCKERS WHO THOUGHT DEMETRI NEVER ACCEPTED THE HAWK PERSONA AND ONLY WANTS TIMID SADBOI ELI

He LITERALLY just said "I don't give a shit what you go by or how you wear your hair, nothing can ever change what you mean to me"

ALSO "Eli, Hawk, hell, call yourself Cornelius for all I care." basically confirms that Demetri would be down to call Eli Hawk if that's what he really wanted!!! And the hopeful look Eli gives Dem when he says "Hawk"!!!! Like I think this is the first time Eli truly realizes that Demetri fully accepts him no matter what he goes by and how he chooses to present himself and he's so euphoric about it and I think that's beautiful

Also they deadass did the "I'll take care of you." "It's rotten work." "Not to me. Not if it's you." convo with Demetri and Eli I am SCREAMING

Also ALSO my headcanon is that Demetri actually started calling Eli Cornelius as a joke and then it turned into a legitimate pet name when they started dating

"Whether you're number one...or zero" My homeboy Demetri really just said "I will take you at your best AND your worst" in Nerd

The way he looks at Eli during this entire exchange kills me, this man is so in love I'm getting secondhand pining just from looking at his big sad eyes

Actually kind of loved the Daniel-Robby interaction here because like. Daniel isn't trying to make excuses for Robby here or be like "it's okay, I know you still have a good heart!!!" Like he's done trying to be a "savior" guy and he's basically saying "do what you want, it's your life" but at the same time, he still cares enough to give Robby a warning

"I heard what you did to Eli" (threatening)

Hell yeah, Scary Daniel has entered the chat! EXCEPT

"I'm not here to judge you." Okay, well I am. Get over here Robby, I'm going to beat your ass

OH HELL FUCKING YES, AISHA ROBINSON MY LOVE

I know she's only going to be here for like 2 minutes but her presence fills me with an overpowering calmness and serenity that somehow convinces me that everything will be all right

"I broke a kid's nose" Legit forgot what an incredibly badass queen this woman is. I stan

Okay I've seen some people complaining that the writers seemed to forget that Tory and Aisha were friends too BUT I raise you that after Tory tried to basically murder Sam in the school fight I feel like it's not that whack to think Aisha would side with Sam

Like Tory went after Aisha's childhood best friend with lethal-seeming intent TWICE, it's not all that unreasonable to assume Aisha would cut ties with Tory after that

"But Tory was a better friend to Aisha!!!" Okay but Aisha and Tory were friends for like...a couple months at most, and Sam and Aisha had been friends for years and just happened to be going through a rough patch when Cobra Kai came to town. I feel like a few months of on-and-off falling out aren't really enough to cancel out a lifelong friendship, or make you suddenly not be concerned about your estranged friend's actual safety. Or side with the girl relentlessly attacking said estranged friend.

Like this coming from someone who does indeed enjoy Tory x Aisha, yes, but I do think it's important to keep things in perspective yn

"These are the same overprotective LaRussos who made me wear a helmet on your trampoline" OKAY THEY WOULD

"She's my bestie. My new school bestie, you'll always be the OG" SCREAMING CRYING SOBBING

GOOD GOD I'VE MISSED THEIR FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH

We were ROBBED I tell you ;___;

Okay I fuckin love that Aisha went "I'm gonna take all this karate bullshit I learned and use it for the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP"

And she's right!

When will Aisha return from the war??? I need her

Pretty sure she has one of the only brain cells in the valley and they desperately need it right now

I want Sam and Aisha to keep in touch and bond over their appreciation for Johnny's chaotic yet proactive life advice

PLEASE I need it

Also this fucker Johnny Lawrence really wanted to crossdress Mitch and thought no one would be fooled

As of last scene I NEED to see Sam and Aisha's reaction to this

All of Miyagi-Do chanting "MEAT MEAT MEAT MEAT" is so funny because we know damn well none of these guys are the ones who truly want Demetri's meat

If you catch my drift

"DAMN IT" I’ll bet Demetri's more anxious and high-strung than usual because he feels bad about having to leave Eli to wallow in his sorrows in his basement and go to karate practice ;__;

OH so Eli decides to join Miyagi-Do to be with Demetri, despite literally all his other close friends being in Eagle Fang??? Fellas, is it gay to join your Totally Platonic Bro's dojo full of people who are still kind of mad at you because you want to help your Totally Platonic Bro out in the AVT that bad????

Not Demetri looking at him with huge doe eyes in the background ;___;

"Is it Eli or Hawk?" "Doesn't matter, I'm just here to do what I can to help out the team" Nice to get an official confirmation that basically throughout S4 Eli has never fucking minded when Demetri called him Eli instead of Hawk

Legit have seen people upset he's cool with going by Eli again, and like??? I'm pretty sure him not feeling like he has to have a cool nickname to kick ass at karate is a good thing actually???

Like ffs let him embrace softboi Eli!!! Let him be gentle and vulnerable and true to himself, even the parts that aren't all hardcore and macho!!! He can cry at sad movies with his boyfriend Demetri and still pound your whiney toxic masculinity-obsessed ass into the ground, actually!

I SWEAR I heard Demetri's voice crack at "it's good to have you back, man"

Do I see tears in his eyes??? Is he HAPPY CRYING???

Demetri stop being so in love and so painfully unaware of it, it's making me embarrassed for you

HOLY SHIT SAM TELLING TORY OFF WAS LOWKEY TERRIFYING

But in the BEST possible way

Still feel bad for Tory, but like...SAM. QUEEN. Taking 0 shit from Tory and I am HERE FOR IT

"I'm coming for you, bitch" *evil smirk* YOU ABSOLUTE SAVAGE

Aisha was like "respond to your problems with love!" and Sam actively chose violence instead, kind of love that for her

The Bad:

Damn, these fuckers really dedicated 3 whole minutes of screentime to an AVT board meeting instead of. You know. Hawk's trauma. Or why the fuck Moon and Piper broke up. Or what Yasmine actually does with her time aside from being thirsty for Demetri. Or Daniel tryna deal with some recent manifestation of his Terry Silver trauma. Or Demetri hunting down and beating the shit out of/attempting to beat the shit out of Kyler and Gang. Or Carmen getting to do something independent of her son-and-boyfriend-related storylines. Or literally anything else

Can you tell I'm a little pressed

Also I stg they're just using the separate gender division thing as an excuse to milk even more drama out of the AVT

Like the stakes are already high enough, y'all don't need to kick them up even HIGHER and complicate the plot even more, like

We already have like 7 arcs going so let's introduce a new conflict/arc instead of working on resolving the ones we already have going

Also it's like

"What hamfisted excuse can we use to introduce more badass female characters for Woke Points so we don't have to give the ones we already have any depth whatsoever?" (Yes I'm talking about Moon and Yasmine)

Literally would not even be hard to flesh them out A TINY BIT but the show just said "no thank you, they don't properly exist as people outside of their relationship to these two gay nerd boys"

Also they’re depriving me of a Demetri-Tory fight and this is an unforgivable crime

Demetri was literally so ready to throw hands with her when she threatened Eli last season, and now we shall never perceive it

Disgusting

I just want overprotective boyfriend Demetri to fight everyone who threatens his mans

ALSO Sam deserves to beat the shit out of Kyler. As A Treat

Yeah I sure do remember that shit he pulled in S1

You try to feel up my girl and slut-shame her??? She deserves to beat yo ass like never before

And anyways we’ve seen multiple times that Sam and Tory can and do hold their own in fights against boys

So what gives, Cobra Kai???

I definitely feel Robby hatred emanating from Demetri but I would like to feel even more

This man has grievously wronged Demetri thrice now, as discussed above, and I think it would be fun if Demetri got on a warpath to absolutely destroying Robby Keene

Is it OOC, considering that Demetri is often rather violence-averse? Perhaps, but consider: I want him to find his inner darkness and become very scary

Speaking of which, why is Sam the only one who is super pissed and vindictive??? As if Demetri WOULDN'T be

Listen, being fight-averse doesn't extend to when your best friend who you're in love with gets pinned down and shaved

Ah, so the LGBT rep this season is acknowledging that asexuals, nonbinary people, and genderfluid people...exist???

Wow, such great rep, I'm shaking and clapping and cheering

Very convenient for the writers that their rep didn't include actually writing any LGBT characters

Also we still haven't gotten any fucking reason or explanation as to why Moon and Piper broke up

Like if they're gonna split up the only LGBT couple in the show, the very fucking LEAST they could do is tell us why :/

Was Piper becoming too much of a jerk for Moon to be okay with??? Did they clash because of Moon's staunch pacifism and refusal to get in a physical brawl ever??? Who the hell knows??? Definitely not us

Probably not the showrunners either

They just needed to set up the stupid Hawk x Moon plot that they're dragging out of the grave like a horrible gross heteronormative zombie

Okay as much as I love the basement scene I 1000% feel like there was a scene missing between the hair-shaving reveal and the basement scene

Like are you really telling me that Demetri didn't check in on Eli once until after he'd already been AWOL for a cool minute??? I simply do not buy it

And like it doesn't even have to be an Eli-Demetri scene, it could be something as simple as Demetri talking to Chris and being like "hey have you seen Eli? He hasn't been at school and he's not answering his phone. And he hasn't been to a single practice since...well, you know." And Chris is kinda confused like "No, I haven't see him at school, but wouldn't he be going to Eagle Fang practice???"

Cue Demetri explaining that he and Eli had previously discussed Eli potentially joining Miyagi-Do if the dojos split, so Demetri expecting Eli to join Miyagi-Do doesn't lowkey come out of nowhere

THEN Demetri asks Miguel if Eli's been at Eagle Fang practice, and Miguel is like "No, actually...I'm starting to get really worried tbh" and reveals Eli hasn't been answering Miguel's texts and calls either

And THEN Demetri busts into Eli's basement like "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN"

They seriously could have replaced that AVT board meeting scene with this bit and it would have made everything 4000x better

ALSO like. Why is Miguel not concerned at all about Eli regularly bailing on practice??? They're buddies--I'd expect ONE line of worried dialogue being like "Where's Hawk at?" at the very LEAST

Anyways like I mentioned before I feel like there needs to be some kind of explicit confirmation that Eli and Demetri previously talked about Eli joining Miyagi-Do if/when the dojos split, because otherwise Demetri being fully under the impression Eli's going to come back to MD instead of EF seems a little out of left field

Okay, wow. WOW. They seriously could not let Demetri and Eli have ONE scene

ONE GODDAMN SCENE

Without having Demetri bring up Yasmine to very insistently remind us that he's straight -___-

How even is Yasmine "the girl of your dreams" dude, her only personality traits are "hot" and "makes a sassy comment once every 7 years"

"None of that changes the fact that you're my binary brother" Damn they're seriously trying so damn hard to convince us these dudes have a "brotherly" relationship and simply will not accept it's never, ever going to work

Also did they seriously No Homo Demetri and Eli twice in one scene

Of course they fucking did

They know damn well there's gay tension but still deny it at every turn to appease the creepy homophobic conservative fanbase

For shame, homophobes! You've messed up a perfectly good queer-coded karate show is what you've done!

Look at it, it's got heteronormativity!!!

Regardless I can't help but get some amusement out of the fact that the writers are constantly trying so desperately hard to convince us Eli and Dem aren't gay because their interactions are just that inherently fruity

Y'all fighting a losing battle, we all know damn well they're gay

Hey Daniel I know Robby is your ex karate son but you absolutely should judge him for the shit he pulled with Hawk actually

Forceably shaving someone's head in an attempt to destroy their self-esteem is not very punk-rock at all

Also they really be treating Daniel's Terry Silver trauma like Trauma Lite

Like they're barely doing anything with it at all :/

If it's meant to be the reason he's being kind of a self-righteous jerk this season, then like??? They could talk about that??? They could explore it more and what the long-term effects Silver had were???

But nah, just one uncomfortable convenience store confrontation and that's all we need I guess

They GAVE me my Aisha Robinson??? Only to take her away again??? This is unspeakable cruelty and I am going to scream

Okay so like. Devon seems cool, don't get me wrong. But also can this show fucking CHILL with introducing new characters???

Like we are on SEASON FUCKING FOUR we have PLENTY of characters and arcs to work with already!!!

Also Cobra Kai Writers Stop Introducing New Female Characters Because You Don't Know How To Write Your Existing Ones Challenge

WHAT is this weak-ass bro-hug shit, I know my boy Demetri and he would absolutely CRUSH Eli in a hug, sorry

Maybe he doesn't wanna be TOO gay in front of all his MD friends but boy it is FAR too late for that

Damn the gayest episode is behind me now, idk what to do with myself :O

Guess I’ll have to create some Elimetri and YasMoon content

[hellinglasses]

@blackberrywars my dear my darling I took a few days to reply cause I’m a certified Mess but by all means please Know I was ecstatic upon seeing this. welp, here it goes

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags

in no particular order of belovedness:

1. the witcher: it too is lambert. my ashdnoijskplfgeiotrsd. a sdbdiunfaodjpksapl, if you will. I want to wrap this baby in blankets even though he will probably bite my hand for the trouble I dared to inflict to him. I’ll cherish it when he does and then feed him ice cream.

2. our flag means death: it’s the angry little rat man for me. israel my beloved I want to give you head pats. I want to feed you soup. I want to drag you through horrible things and then surround you with Love, actually

3. the simarillion and holy hell what even to call this fandom assorted mess: maedhros. the first time I read from you my hear went sdugbuahjikoalbdsnmf and I have loved you ever since, even as canon whump you and yours so terribly and half the fandom will spit the dirt upon hearing your name. I wish I had it in me to actually write that fic to you.

4. good omens: aziraphale. I could never put into words how badly I love you and see myself on you, even as I don’t love all my parts I sure love yours. you’re kind, but aloof, loving but afraid, giving yet self-indulgent, feral but covered in just enough veneer one must work for it to perceive it, to perceive you. and of course, an entire bitch (affectionate)

5. clowntown: richie tozier, you utter shit, you desperate loud fucker. you passed me by when I first met you, a single line to my friends about how I liked the sweary one, but then, years later, fandom made me fall in love with you. I guard your insecurites as my own, but nonetheless your joy, found upon finally cherishing yourself amongst your found family of queer weirdos.

6. steven universe: pearl. you’re a powerhouse, sweetheart. I rember the days before the show progressed, how I used to think of this lowly servant who met the handsomest quartz soldier and how they fell in love and started a revolution hellbent in changing their world. a socialist revolution if you will, it was also the time I was just growing into my own and discovering that too. you still mean the world to me, beloved.

7. gravity falls: stan pines. I’m a mabel myself, and you’re still my favorite. you’re so full with love and loyalty, my darling, even as one must really look behind first sights. you’re entirely love, full to the bursting

8. scooby doo: daphne. for the longest time I couldn’t figure out whether I wanted to be you or gvdshabsnjikolpçfhdjioks. I would play pretend at being you before I had breakfast, tiny and dragging around bedsheets imagining it was the most incredible purple gown. I remember my mom telling me to just imagine, no need to make for more laundry.

9. hannibal: the primadonna himself. baby invented homoerotic muder as courting, being soft while covered in blood and also Pining, actually. random headcanon no one asked for but is getting anyway is that if they live or die after the cliff, that’s will’s choice to make. hannibal left alone for florence, and was miserable. let himself get caught because he couldn’t bear to leave without him again. he would be happy to just die by his side. after all, it’s beautiful.

10. the akallabeth (it’s not cheating if it can be found as a separate book, is it? bwejknqdiwjose): mairon. you might know him as sauron, an epithet meaning “the abhorred”, or even as gorthaur, “the cruel”. but that’s the name he gave himself, it means “admirable”, or even tar-mairon, meaning “king excellent”. babygirl has the range of the entire reputation album, as I sing along loudly to I did something bad and imagine it over and over as I picture the fall of numenor -- I never trust a narcisist, but they love me. can you imagine, arriving a despised prisioner, manipulating your way to giving counsel to the king, and then establishing yourself as the high priest of a religion in honor of your fallen husband? bitch is so messy and I am full of love.

well okay so I regularly talk to literally two people in this godforsaken site and one literally tagged me in this so I’m just gonna tag the other and then a bunch of beloved mutuals I keep seeing in my notes and hope they don’t mind me too badly so

@tediousdelusion, @soundfanatic, @marcato-meumew, @alllthequeenshorses, @sardonicsymphonic, 

[thedeviljudges]

not an ask but your post on queerbaiting in response to @quillsandscreens 's post on gahan being headcanon hit the nail on the head! I don't really have a say in the convo bc im straight but my very straight ass could spot the queercoding from MILES away. I was so baffled when some others couldn't see it. It's all there, subtle but very intentionally framed. And had Gaon being a woman, the straights would've shipped the two to the ends of the earth without any change of script.

100% on point. so this is just me rambling here, but i tend to generalize in terms of straights just bc well, they're dominant and think everything is about them most of the time. so that's not to say everyone (like yourself) does not see the relationship within tdj. however, a good majority don't because they get to be blinded to all of the ways they are not negatively impacted by being queer. on top of that, if you're not within those circles of queer communities, there is so much context you miss out on, and that's a whole other level of overlooking.

underrepresented communities build specific context, discussions and language for each other to pick up on. (very poignant example of this is that is a little more mainstream is the fact that many women and their friends have no issue calling each other a bitch, regardless of whether it's out of love or not. but the minute a man calls a woman one.... nope. bc women understand the context in a non-threatening way. men, on the other hand, do not use that shit playfully and even if they try, it's uncomfortable).

so there is a lot of coding that happens with characters bc 1. there are rules/laws in place that prevent it being stated or could actually harm the crew/production/ability to get funded and 2. it's its own song and dance, the ability to create nuanced, subtle gestures and lines to show a character for who they are without uttering a singular word is absolutely incredibly bc of those limitations.

hets are so used to things being explicitly stated. they've never had to read between the lines. it's always handed to them, so no wonder that skillset isn't sharpened. they're under the impression that if it isn't said word for word, it must not exist and the intention was never there to begin with. but it's all about overtones (look at the stuff going down with venom right now and fans vs critics, which tells you a lot).

at the end of the day, people will see what they want to see, and they will fail to ignore context clues in favor of their own biases. and there are those even with queer characters and fans, yes. reading to much into things and stretching out things for a smidge of representation, but the difference there is that we are never given that to begin with. we've always had to find representation, and so that became the code of conduct, especially in conservative societies that are still battling queer rights.

you're absolutely right that if gaon had been a woman, everyone would've eaten it up. i'm still surprised tdj is still as popular as it is, but i know that it'd be significantly moreso if there was straight scenes involved. but thank god we weren't given more bc the entitlement and downright nasty behavior hets displayed with the gaon/soohyun scenes before they all realized she died...... i will never forget that. literally i will never forget how fucking curl and nasty they were because they couldn't let ONE show be for the gays. and the only reason for that is mainly bc of jinyoung and their obsessive need to be a self-insert with their kpop favs.

on top of that, they really did love the gaslight the entire fandom, even here on tumblr, about how wrong we were, how we turn everything gay, and we're misogynistic bc they couldn't take a damn minute to read/find analysis posts. like, i'm genuinely tired of straight people having the monopoly on what they think is right/wrong, and using misogyny and other social justice issues to call us crazy/delusional. maybe if we had openly queer tv and films for us to enjoy, we wouldn't feel the need to create and find context in the content we love and consume.

and just to reiterate in general, not pointing figures at you anon, tdj is NOT queerbaiting. it's queercoding, and fandom really needs to learn the difference.

[firelxdykatara]

Hello! I say this in the kindest way possible, but can you please provide evidence that theowelspeaks is a terf? I'm a black zutara shipper and for years have really felt shoved by the fandom and it hasn't been my safe space. But YOUR blog and you made me feel better. I'm not in your discord but you're being accused of racism. I don't follow the owlspeaks and wanna support you but if you're being accused of racism why are you calling someone a terf?

Can you please show where they are a terf? I'm only asking this because I really REALLY love you and I support you. And if they are a terf, you need to provide evidence. It is heavily suspicious when a person of color calls out a white woman on racism and you don't address the accusations but just call them a terf. I want to support you I really do because you made me feel comfortable in the fandom, but I need to see concrete evidence that they're a terf. Never mind, I saw the whole situation and honestly I'm disgusted I ever follow or looked up to you. You're literally no different from other racist white shippers. I think there went my love for zutara.

I'm going to take this at face value--not that, on any real level, I actually believe you were a follower of mine or did anything close to due diligence, because if you were or had then you would know that I never actually called that blogger a terf--and answer as respectfully as I can. Mostly because I want anyone who has genuine issues with anything I've said or done to know that despite whatever's going around about me right now, I am willing to listen to criticism if it comes from a place of good faith.

(You can think whatever you want about my insistence on 'good faith', but the fact is that I have weathered being slammed with accusations of pedophilia and other horrible things over differences in headcanon of shit like character ages or writing a fic set years post-canon because I felt like it, right down to the insistence that I'm a horrible racist because of my url, so no. I'm not going to listen to someone slinging slurs and buzzwords in my inbox just because they claim to be a poc. And before that sets anyone off, the slurs I'm talking about are aimed at my queerness. I do not consider being called racist or a white bitch or whatever slurs, because they aren't.)

First of all, once again, I never called that blogger a terf. You can easily read my post about them for yourself and see that--ctrl+F for the term 'terf', and you will not find it. Why? Because I called them out on peddling radfem rhetoric, (which they are) not for being a terf. All terfs are radfems--it's in the name--but not all radfems are terfs, although all radfem rhetoric is exceptionally harmful to queer people in general, and queer poc more than most, as is the nature of intersectionality.

Anti-kink rhetoric, and the insistence that some kink is inherently harmful and that no one could legitimately have these kinks or fetishes without being mentally ill or traumatized, is radfem rhetoric. That's where it comes from, that's where it leads to, and I'll be honest here, 'radfem' is not an identity label. It's an ideology. You do not get to parrot core tenets of that ideology and then claim to not be a radfem. That simply isn't how this works.

Furthermore, I have no idea who the person behind theowlspeaks blog is. I will take them at their word that they are not white, but that doesn't exactly narrow things down--and considering the fact that they chose to put me on blast for their small but dedicated ring of followers rather than actually coming to me personally first about any of this (their blog is very obviously a burner, and it wouldn't have been that difficult to approach me since I've only ever turned anon off once, for one night to give myself some breathing room, and otherwise my asks and DMs have always been open), I have no reason to actually care about what they're saying. But I point out the lack of knowledge of their identity because a) they didn't even reveal themselves as not white until.... yesterday? or something, when they were directly asked about it, and b) trying to frame this as 'white woman accused of racism calls person of color a terf' is... disingenuous at best given the fact that I have been calling them a radfem (which they are) since well before they posted that screenshot and my name wound up on their blog, so you got the order of events just a little backwards.

I blocked them initially because of the radfem rhetoric they were peddling about kink and fetishes, and I have the right to establish that boundary. This blog is for me, it is my space, and I do not have to expose myself to views I find gross or harmful just because they dress it up in faux-woke terminology and try to pretend they actually care.

If they cared about real people more than the fictional characters they are so adamantly 'protecting', then they wouldn't have brushed off the actual racism (from one of their followers--they're more than happy to blast me without any evidence, but that's hardly out of the ordinary for people like that) that was brought to their attention by refocusing the discussion on the fake people who literally can't be hurt by any of this because they don't exist. They wouldn't be ignoring the two woc who chose to contact them and tell them why they made the choices they did regarding both the discord and the smut week event, while being perfectly happy to platform anons who may or may not be who or what they say they are.

I, for one, am not going to apologize for caring more about real people than fictional characters. I'm not going to apologize for thinking it's absolutely ludicrous to pretend that fiction is somehow harmful just by existing, especially when it's appropriately tagged so that anyone who finds the content harmful can avoid it. I'm not going to back down from these opinions just because a handful of people have apparently decided I'm a horrible person because of it. And I'm certainly not going to apologize for thinking it's despicable that someone who was not involved in the conversation chose to leak out of context screenshots rather than privately contacting any of the people involved or even going to any of the mods, before going right to an anonymous blog. You may not care about me or my mental health, but I had panic attacks because of that leak--not because I said anything untoward in that screenshot, not because I've ever said anything in that discord that I wouldn't happily stand behind on my blog, but because I no longer felt safe. And I am not going to bare my trauma to a complete stranger to justify that lmfao.

So, like, think what you want to. I'm pretty sure that blogger is getting high off of the drama they are creating, none of which would actually have happened or been any real issue if more people were able to think, gee, maybe this work that is tagged with things I don't want to read about is not for me! Maybe I shouldn't read this piece, since it would probably upset me, and there's plenty others around for me to consume! I do not trust that blogger's intentions. I do not trust that they actually give a shit about any real people, or they wouldn't have posted an out of context screenshot of... literally nothing tbh, when they had no right to and are now protecting the identity of the person who leaked them instead of giving a shit about any of the real people in that space who no longer feel safe because we aren't sure who we can't trust.

But you've already made up your mind, and I can't change that. I genuinely hope you have a nice life, and find fandom spaces more suited to your tastes.

[writingpuddle]

The other night best friend and I (yes, that best friend) were riffing on trans Neil headcanons over the phone, but a realistic trans treatment of aftg gets dark real fast, so without further ado:

~The Mafia May Be Sexist (But It’s Not Transphobic!) AU ~

(tmmbsbintau, if you will)

Does this premise make sense? No, but if Nora can write about made up mafia sports, I can write a nonsense AU where transphobia doesn’t exist okay this is my party and ill be self-indulgent if i want to

We open with baby Neil, who was named after his maternal grandmother or smthg idk

Now lets say Neil is one of those “I always knew I was trans” kids

So even at a fairly young age he was like, nope this is wrong

For the most part his dad basically ignores him (what use is a girl to me???) but if he makes the mistake of getting in the way it’s the usual shit with knives and hot irons and basically Neil’s bog-standard Traumatic Childhood

His mom signs him up to play Exy to get him out of the house, and he loves it, because of course he does

Now tiny Neil may be terrified of his father

But remember transphobia isn’t real

So he when he’s about ten years old he tells his parents over dinner

His mom just puts her fork down and says that’s alright

But Nathan

Nathan

Nathan’s eyes start to glow

He has a son? Not a useless daughter?

He’s practically levitating with glee

And Neil, poor Neil, who has never had any positive reinforcement—from either parent, Mary, you’re not innocent in this—he soaks it up

Nathan puts both hands on his son’s—his son’s!—shoulders and dubs him Nathaniel

His son, his heir, his legacy

Mary takes one look at the possessive look in her husband’s eyes and thinks oh hell no

For the next few days Nathan absolutely showers Nathaniel with affection

He takes him to the hairdresser and buys him a whole new wardrobe, neglecting his mafia duties in order to dote upon his new son

It is possibly the happiest week of Nathaniel’s life

And then he wakes up in the night with his mother’s hand on his mouth and is given less than a minute to pack his things

Now he’s grown up in a criminal household; the notion of making a run for it isn’t exactly foreign to him

But it’s not until they’re in the car that Nathaniel realizes that his father is nowhere to be seen

Where’s dad? He asks

Shut up, his mother hisses, and slams the car into gear

From then on, he is never Nathaniel

His mother is 100% on board with his transition, but…not really anything beyond that

After all, people will be looking for a woman and a trans boy, which means Mary’s investment in Neil’s gender pretty much starts and ends with him passing as cis

She gets him all the medical treatments he needs (on the black market, since they’re on the run)—puberty blockers when he’s younger, testosterone when he’s older

But he’s never allowed to acknowledge being trans whatsoever

Not to his classmates, not to his teachers

He never gets the chance to have a queer community, or explore the nuances of his gender, because the only presentation they can afford for him to have is Masculine Cis Boy. The restriction is stifling. It’s suffocating.

Neil hates her for it

His life was, so briefly, perfect

He had his father’s love and approval for a day, a week, and he is both old enough to remember his father’s cruelty and young enough to believe that it could end

Nathan is incandescent

When he realizes what Mary has done he goes to the Moriyamas in a storm of fury

She stole my SON! He bellows

Now the Moriyama’s didn’t particularly care about Neil back when they thought he was a girl

Girls in the mafia are basically just for child-rearing, so he wasn’t a threat

So once they figure out what Nathan is talking about (this takes a sec, owing to Nathan having not previously gotten around to telling them about Nathaniel’s revelation), their first thought is that look, we might do the nepotism thing here in our family, but underlings don’t get to do the nepotism thing. Sorry, them’s the breaks

Obviously, Mary has to die—nobody’s disputing that, a woman who robbed her husband and stole his son? Only death will right that wrong—but Kengo tells Nathan that he’ll help find Nathaniel on the condition that he’s given to the Ravens upon capture

Nathan is utterly confident that his son—his son!—will perform admirably. He accepts the deal without a second thought

So they’re on the run for years and years, and Neil’s resentment towards his mother festers, but he never acts out too much, and he doesn’t contact his father

He almost does a couple times, but then he presses his hand to the iron scar on his shoulder and he can’t quite make himself go through with it

He’s sixteen when Nathan catches up with them in Seattle

There’s a shootout and Mary and Neil almost get away

But

Nathan arrives

Nathaniel! He shouts. My boy!

And Neil lurches to a stop

There is his father, walking towards him, his eyes still shining with the same fierce love and pride from when he was ten

Nathaniel, his father says. Hasn’t this gone on long enough?

Come home.

Mary is trying to drag Neil away, but he’s too fixated on his father

Can I? Neil asks. Can I really?

Of course, Nathan says. Everything is forgiven. I’ve even secured you a place on the Ravens. Didn’t you always love Exy? Come home with me, Nathaniel

Neil can barely believe it. His father is offering him everything he ever wanted. His mother has been keeping him from this, his whole life?

Why would they run?

And through this whole exchange Nathan has been getting closer, and Mary is pulling Neil back, and now he’s close enough to touch and the sound she makes is like something physical tears when she finally releases Neil and tries to flee

She isn’t fast enough

Nathan’s grin is as wide as the sun when his cleaver bites into Mary’s waist

Blood pours out

Neil screams

Mary clutches her side, staggering away, but it’s obvious she won’t make it far

Dad, no, Neil says. Don’t—

Shh, his father says. Don’t be afraid. She kept us apart all these years. She deserves to die.

And Neil—

Neil has hated his mother for most of his life

But he looks at the woman who has struggled so long to protect him—who has failed as often as she succeeded, but who fought anyway, everyday—and the man whose eyes are bright with glee at her pain

And he makes a choice

He only has a split second to see the betrayal in his father’s eyes before the pipe in his hand slams into his head and he pitches forward, unconscious

Neil does not wait to see if he survives

He grabs his mother and they run, her arm locked on his shoulder and her palm pressed to the wound on her side

Neil puts her in the passenger seat and jumps in, throwing the car in gear

You need a hospital, he says, frantic

No, she hisses, pinning a towel to her side. No hospitals

Guilt floods through him as he looks at her pale face

Sticky red handprints smear on everything she touches

I’m sorry, mom, he says, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—

Enough, she says. Drive

He drives

He drives, and drives, and he follows her instructions, and later he wouldn’t have been able to say if he actually thought she would survive; he believed it, because he had to, because he had never been without her; he knew better, because gut wounds are slow, but they are inexorable

He parks on the beach and there are tears pushing at his eyelids but he chokes them down

I’m sorry, he said, I never should have believed him. I’m sorry—

You never would have been enough for him, she says, and Neil flinches

Her hand finds his chin and she yanks him down to meet her eyes, her gaze fierce.

He never loved you, she says. He would have made you in his image, and when you failed he would have torn you apart. I would not—I would not watch him try to make my son a monster. Don’t—don’t waste it

Mom, what are you saying—

Promise me, she says

Promise you won’t go back to him

She is dying

Neil can’t refuse

He promises

She releases his face and her red fingerprints on his face burn like brands. He can feel them hours after the tears wash the blood away.

Her last few breaths are jagged as broken stones before she rattles to a stop, and Neil is alone

He burns her body and staggers out onto the road and he keeps moving, he keeps moving, because he knows if he stops he’ll shatter

His hesitation has cost him his mother’s life

But his action costs him his fathers love

In one blow, Neil broke the golden image Nathan had of his perfect son, and now all Nathan wants is to destroy him

He finds his way to Millport almost on instinct alone

He finds one of Mary’s contacts who can supply him with the hormones he needs to continue passing and squats in an empty house and speaks to none of his classmates

When the Exy team tryouts are announced, he goes, intending to only watch from a distance

Perhaps it is inevitable he’s sucked in

There is so little light in his life

Can he be forgiven for wanting one little spark?

The Foxes come for him in May, and Kevin doesn’t recognize him, because how would he? Even if they met as kids, Kevin never saw Neil post-transition

Wymack ends up telling him something about Kevin’s past and the truth about the Ravens, and Neil pales a little bit, remembering how his father had said he’d gotten Neil a place on their line-up and finally understanding why

And sometimes he looks at Kevin with blinding jealousy for the life Neil didn’t get to have, and sometimes he sees him nearly comatose with fear and drinking vodka like it’s water, and his stomach hurts thinking how cheerfully his father would have consigned him to the same fate

So canon proceeds and Neil still bitches Riko out on live TV, and Riko still manages to acquire Neil’s fingerprints

And would you believe that? The Foxes mouthy new rookie is [deadname], Nathan Wesninski’s brat?

Well, well, well

At the banquet Riko pokes and prods until Neil finally snaps, and as Dan drags the team away from the wreckage Jean grabs Neil’s arm and says, low and fast in French, You’ll meet with us later

Why the fuck would I do that? Neil demands

Because otherwise everyone will find out that the Butcher is your father

Neil can’t hide his flinch and Kevin’s eyes go wide

They flee the scene, but before they even reach Coach, Kevin is already rounding on Neil

Is it true? He croaks

Not now, Neil says

But Kevin reads confirmation in Neil’s deflection

I didn’t know [deadname] had a brother, he says

Now here is the thing

Names are obviously a touchy subject with a lot of trans people, and certainly with Neil in particular

But with everything that just happened, Neil is a bit preoccupied, and it’s been a long time since he’s associated himself with that name

Since before he stopped using it, truthfully

And so his response is out of his mouth before he can even think twice

“Who?”

Kevin nods seriously, because he is wise to the ways of mafia bosses, and it’s not exactly shocking that Nathan Wesninski had a mistress and a secret second child, especially considering his first child had been a girl

It’s several moments before Neil puts two and two together and realizes that he has inadvertently slipped through a perfect loophole

He’s failed his mother so many times, but at least this secret is still safe, and he clings to that

Neil’s gender doesn’t really affect his interpersonal relationships with the Foxes—he’s already changing out separately, so this isn’t even a whole other thing

It’s harder to hide his testosterone when he’s living in shared dorms, but he has everything in the safe and figures out the safest schedule to open it up when he’s sure Matt will be in class

Andrew finds out when they start hooking up

But remember transphobia isn’t real so it’s sort of more like Andrew goes to undo his pants and is like wait your dick is removeable? Okay.

And then he just gets on with it

So Binghamton and Baltimore happen as canon, and if Neil had ever harboured hopes that his father would forgive him and love him again, they’re broken for good when his father stalks in and sees him shivering and just grins

It is the smile of someone who has torn someone off a pedestal and is going to enjoy reducing them to dust

Nevermind that Nathan had been the one to put him on that pedestal in the first place

Stuart deus-ex-machinas us out of the maws of death and we end up back in that classic Baltimore scene with the Foxes, and they still claim him, and they still take him home

He tells them all about his mafia father and life on the run, and it doesn’t really click until later that he forgot to mention the trans thing

Not like he, you know, has to tell them, and being trans is hardly an issue in Exy since it’s co-ed, but it would probably be nice to see a real doctor instead of keep buying his hormones illegally

And moreover, he wants the Foxes to know him

So they hit the cabin in the mountains and everyone knows Neil doesn’t drink, but when Andrew pours him a shot, he takes it

Ooh, Nicky says, Is Neil about to start spilling his secrets?

Allison snorts. What secrets does he have left?

Uh, Neil says

Wait, Allison says. There’s more secrets????

Yeah, he says. Um, I’m trans

There’s a pause

Well, that’s no good, Allison said. We didn’t have a bet going on that

Everyone laughs, and Neil smiles, and he looks at the sunset and remembers his mother, and he remembers a life filled with hiding, and secrets, and loneliness

Bats swoop in the twilight beyond the cabin, and he turns towards the warmth and light inside, and he does not look back

[im-some-lionheart]

Dean Winchester is bisexual as fuck headcanons:

Dean has always known he's bisexual. He probably didn't even know bisexuality was A Thing until he was in his 30s though.

And he probably hated putting a label on it. But he knew he liked boys as well as girls since forever.

When he was younger, he probably thought everyone else liked everyone too because "people are hot. why wouldn't you like people?" (13 yo dean, probably)

Teen!Dean cuffed his jeans. I don't have neither proofs nor doubts about this one.

He learned about and internalized homophobia later in his teens. Probably at school, or from John's and other hunters' remarks and jokes. Or both.

He probably thought to himself "well, at least I like girls too, so it's not as bad, I'm not actually queer." and proceeded to suppress his feelings for boys and over compensate because he didn't want to be outed as something that he wasn't. He wasn't gay. He was just him. And people were hot. So he liked people.

Of course, he eventually dated guys in school, but it was always in secrecy, always as friends, always while publicly making out with a cheerleader (a bonus in immature dean's brain). It was the 90s in Middle America. It couldn't have been otherwise.

In some schools though, word caught on, and it was hell for him. He learned soon to keep that side of him hidden from privy eyes if he wanted to be left alone.

John caught him making out with a guy at least once. He might have punched Dean, give the guy time to gather his clothes and run for his live, and gone for a drink. Or. He might have stood there, staring at his son, ask the kid to leave please, and walked out of the room without saying another word. (or it happened twice and he did both)

Either way, he told Sam and Dean to pack their stuff and moved them to another city the very next day, giving Dean no chance to say goodbye.

Dean bi!panicked and tried to explain, but John refused to listen. Refused to even acknowledge what had happened. Every time Dean started "dad, about what you saw...", John would cut him off and remind him of his mission: watch out for Sammy.

He made sure next time his father came home, he found him with a girl instead. John didn't say a word to him either way, but he was polite to the girls.

Dean eventually mastered the art of flirting subtly, walking perfectly that line between figuring out if a guy was into him and outing himself into being beaten senseless.

He walked that line masterfully for years hunting with John and then, later on, with Sam. Neither noticed when he'd come home late after they'd interrogated a particularly handsome suspect.

He always made sure they noticed when he'd come home late, when the suspect was a particularly beautiful girl.

He may or may not have learned to walk that line by being beaten senseless a couple of times.

When he saw Lisa again, he couldn't believe she was still as beautiful as he remembered her.

He cried when he told Lisa he was bi. He kept thinking "she needs to know" and made a whole deal of telling her, dragging the words for half an hour. She just smiled and kissed him and held him as he cried. That was the first night he thought he loved her.

A part of him wished he was actually Ben's father. A large part of him always regretted not being able to have or truly enjoy that apple-pie life.

He knew Jo was bi too since the moment he saw her. They bonded over it. They may or may not have made out once.

He absolutely 100% had A Thing™ with Benny in Purgatory

He absolutely 100% had a threesome with himself and Cas from 2014.

He absolutely 100% had orgies with Crowley when he was a demon

There's a 50% chance he had 1on1 sex with Crowley.

He always thought Jimmy Novak was hot but he didn't begin to fall for Cas until around s6-7

His subtle brand of flirting didn't work with Cas immediately like it had worked with Anna, Benny, and so many other people and creatures he'd met throughout his life, so he just dropped it.

Dean's flirting didn't work because the angel was really bad at social interactions not because he didn't like Dean back, but he wasn't sure so he never dared do anything more than just flirt, out of both trauma and fear of being rejected by his best friend.

He jerks off while smelling the trenchcoat in s8 at least once. He, of course, cries immediately afterwards.

He sees the world around him become increasingly more progressive and he loves it. He'd never come out or go to a parade or get married but he loves that other people can have those options.

He never tells Sam how he feels about men/Cas in particular because why would he risk losing his brother's love and respect like that?

A part of him knows Sam won't care, he's still his brother. But the other part never left that motel room where John caught him making out with his friend.

He's convinced himself he doesn't need to tell anybody because it's his life and who gives a shit. He doesn't need to prove anything.

He eventually gets used to his and Cas' relationship. He loves the dynamic they have, and though he sometimes wishes he could just ravage the angel, he knows it's not an option. So he accepts it and learns to enjoy their relationship for what it is: strictly platonic. So he stops flirting and accepts Cas as his best friend. Nothing more.

This means, he's furious when Cas confesses to him. Of course you'd do this when it's already too late you son of a bitch.

In the middle of the tears and the anger and the regret, he manages to say "and I you, Cas" and his heart breaks when the portal opens, which means those words brought Cas true happiness.

He tries to move on without the angel but it isn't easy. He eventually finds an excuse to die quickly. Some dumb hunt his daddy never finished. Sure, that'll do.

When he finally hears the words "Hello, Dean" once again, he knows himself the happiest man on Earth Heaven.

[omgkalyppso]

you don't have to post this if you don't want because this is gonna be kinda negative but!!!

i see SO OFTEN people calling hilda ships toxic when her partner is a man. it's like people only accept hilmari or some wildass wlw ship that makes 0 sense like edelhilda (like seriously?? she can't even be recruited in cf???). meanwhile you never see f!byleth / hilda which actually makes sense.

but hilda/claude??? TOXIC caspar/hilda?? TOXIC 🙄 and you never even see hilorenz like you said but it's so nice i love it. (maybe it's a good thing it's not popular because people would probably call it toxic too)

sorry for the rant i saw your post and poor hilda deserves better 😤 let her be bi in peace!!!

TvT yeah...

This ask is a minefield, but I'm trying to come up with a socially acceptable rant.

[I'D PUT READ MORE HERE BUT TUMBLR WON'T LET ME] I've seen people talk about "straightwashing"* if you ship Hilda with women and had people tell me With Pride that they interpret her friendship to Claude as shallow. I know Hilda says some clumsy things in her supports with Cyril but people who try to bear down on her as a racist character are generally people who ship [redacted] and I'm like - hello!?!? shADDGHAJS

I Do Not Mind lgbtqa+ people saying Hilda is a lesbian or having any other queer headcanons. There's so few lesbians in media. That does not align with my bi headcanons but then that's on us to decide whether or not we support each other.

Unrelated to Hilda, I wish people other than bisexuals more often headcanoned characters as bisexual even if they weren't flirtatious (like Sylvain). Now I'm going to sound a little off the rails but I strongly think that your observation about hilclaude and hilspar relates to people not wanting to headcanon these men as bisexual. People like dimiclaude, m!claudeleth, claurenz, and people like casphardt - and they'll headcanon these men as gay to the exclusion of even Linhardt's canon bisexuality.** And they say the rudest shit about bi men (like Sylvain), about them being abusive or promiscuous or actually wanting to be in a relationship with a man.

.

Anyway, Hilda! I love her and I love her shipping her with Claude and Lorenz. Please send Hilda x Femme Byleth content my way, I'm starving. asdjfadkjs

.

*This is NOTHING. If you think it is, go away and unfollow me. Shoo! In fact, please look up whitewashing and take a minute to sit on why this term should be used exclusively for erasing characters and people of color (especially black people).

**Again. I actually want to support lgbtqa+ creators and their lgbt headcanons of characters. But this is my little soapbox, and I'm just bitching, that it would be nice to feel supported. I love bisexuals and I love being bisexual and I want to see people creating content of bisexuals being supported and not always treating attraction to a gender other than that of their current partner as a sin or a sign of promiscuity or something to grow out of.

[starsaver94]

hello may i have a haikyuu matchup:

 Hi my name is rex, i’m queer and use they/them pronouns and i’m 15, so i would prefer someone not over the age of 18 plz

Honestly I don’t really have a type. Tbh most of my relationships have ended pretty badly cause they ether only wanted something sexual from me or I was “too clingy” when i just wanted basic ass affection. But the most I want is someone who is physically affectionate (like kisses, cuddles, and hugs for days) also im ok with pda to an extent like i will hug and like cuddle you but im not gonna make out with your infront of others thats weird af.

Im a libra sun, scropio moon, and gemini rising. This means that im a pretty social person and always wanna hang out with friends and just have fun, but moon in scropio makes my emotions rlly haywire and kinda boosts any sorta negative emotion, which is hard when you have chronic anxiety and major depressive disorder. Which also means i take medication for it, which i forget a lot. And because of these things i have anxiety tics, where it ranges to making noices and twitching a bit to full on hitting myself and saying random shit. But I really like making people laugh, it makes me feel helpful, but im also good at being to mother figure for people. I also like playfully bantering with people, like i love you but will full on roast you and get into fake fist-fights. I am a bit of a violent person at times but I have a punching bag and boxing gloves which help a lot. But I only get that angry when someone uses an insecurity of mine against me or is talking bad about someone i love, cause it you do that im beating your ass. I do have a bit of body insecurities mainly about my hip-dips and stomach. But because im curvy i get hit on by adults a lot and its creepy as fuck.

My hobbies include art (painting, drawing), sleeping (because i stay up mad late😭✌🏽), reading comics, Marvel and D.C superheroes, and super villains, cartoons, and anime/manga. My favorite music genre’s are rock, alternative, emo, rap, and a little bit if indie music. Personality: funny, sarcastic, creative, kind, inappropriate and the right times. Like im not gonna pull out a dick joke in front of your family I don’t really have a type and im queer so i dont have a gender preference, but anyone who’s love language is physical affection cause im a clingy bitch I have a couple ideal dates. So the first one is like an indoor picnic and a movie, an arcade date, and a stargazing date where you get take out or fast food and drive up a hill to see the stars and you like cuddle n shit.

here r pics of what i look like, and yes u give u permission to post thus publicly

I’m sorry, I already gave you a matchup for Haikyuu (read here).

I could do a matchup for any of the other fandoms on my rules list (aside from MHA since I gave you a match for that series as well), or I could do a oneshot or headcanon for Haikyuu instead if you would like. 🙂

[jessamine--lovelace]

i have nowhere else to put these so here. grishaverse au where the darkling is a woman and Alina is a closeted lesbian

they’re all queer idc

edit: this is zoyalina btw even if it doesn't seem so from the beginning

aleksandra morozova was raised amongst so much misoginy and prejudice against grisha that she wanted to gain power and make a good life for everyone like her clearly she got lost along the way lol

anyway. Alina and mal are still bffs gay lesbian alliance

mal has a comp het crush on alina and Alina on him, they get over it quickly tho

Alina is taken to the little palace, she gets an immediate crush on the darkling clearly she thinks Zoya is hot, but just admires from afar bc she s so mean and cold

the darkling is even hotter as a woman u can't change my mind

everything goes mostly like canon, the darkling seduces alina and alina is all about worshipping this powerful woman who wants to give her power. she helps alina realise she likes women, manipulates her in the process, makes her think that the darkling is the only one who could offer her security and other bullshit

the night that baghra tells alina the truth about the darkling’s plan, zoya is waiting alina at her door because she wants to confront her about how she fall out of the darkling’s good grace because of her idk. and baghra finds them both in alina’s rooms so she makes both of them leave, zoya helping alina to get lost in the country  baghra makes up a lie about how zoya went to visit her family/is in a mission so no one suspects zoya is a “traitor” except the darkling and genya who know the truth

mal is still looking for alina but he doesn't know Zoya is with her so it's a big surprise when he finds them both huddled up in a big coat together, freezing their asses off, zoya bitching about how alina better be grateful that she s helping to save her glowstick ass

Zoya calls mal alina s boyfriend exactly once before both mal and alina strongly let her know their disgust to that idea 

so yeah Zoya is a bit weirded out bc they are so close to each other and yet they're not together??? but she is kinda starting to get along with alina and maybe she s not so bad, and just maybe she starts to like her 

they find the stag blabla Zoya is taken back to the little palace while Alina and mal are taken to expand the fold or whatever the darkling has in mind

alina and mal escape and run off as in canon, except they pose as siblings in novyi zem. Mal finds a cute boy there and develops a crush but he s too devoted to keeping alina safe to risk getting into any relationship

Alina doesn't agree and makes him go on a date with the dude before everything goes to shit

the darkling comes back, takes them, Nikolai happens etc.

as soon as Nikolai gets them back in ravka, he tries to woo alina and propose to her like in canon. she s not really out yet tho she s not ready for it, not even Mal knows yet even if he suspects something from their time spend with zoya and the looks alina gave her, and the hurt look she has whenever the darkling is mentioned/she explains what the deal is with her evil plan, but he lets her take her time

Nikolai is all about flirting to the sun summoner and she s nice about it, polite, but clearly trying to get away because she s lowkey uncomfortable. declines his marriage proposal, and nikolai thinks it's because of Mal but he s wrong. mal tries to have a talk with alina about this, but alina panicks and says “he seems like your type, not mine” and mal is lost like ?? he s a prince?? and probably straight?? and he asked YOU to marry him?? 

and alina realises she is tired to keep this up, so she tells mal about her liking women. mal hugs her and she confesses that the darkling helped her come to terms with it in a way, and it messed with her and she feels shame that she fell for the manipulation

so when they're on the way to os alta, and Nikolai kisses her for the public, she just says "I like girls please never do that again or I'll use the cut on your face." as soon as they are alone in their couch and Nikolai is stunned and apologises to her a lot of shit starts to make sense for nikolai now lol

so after that tiny incident, Nikolai knows it's pointless to pursue Alina so he only keeps up his show for the public and becomes really good friends with alina and mal

nikolai would still very much like that political alliance and he sometimes jokingly tells alina “you’ll have lots of women at your feet if you become queen. aren’t you interested in that?” and alina is just done with his ass

clearly nikolai and mal hook up at some point and it's kinda awkward afterwards bc they both have a bit of a crush on each other but don't want to admit it Alina is amused

so they go back to os alta, and Zoya is there!!! and Alina literally hugs her bc she was so worried and she missed her and "I shouldn't have let her take you away, I'm so sorry I left you behind zoya" and Zoya is so surprised she doesn't respond to the hug for a while before crushing alina in a tight embrace without saying anything

everyone is a bit shocked bc Zoya is hugging Alina?? since when are they getting along??? what is happening???

they have a talk when they are alone and zoya tells alina about her aunt and how she doesn’t blame alina for what the darkling did, alina tells her about the second amplifier. they hug again and maybe some tears are spilled but that’s between them and no one has to know

they prepare and train and alina and zoya get closer and closer. mal, being the captain to alina’s guard, kinda has to stick around with her when she meets with nikolai and it’s awkward and their conversations aren’t as lively as they used to be and it lowkey breaks alina’s heart a bit and annoys her until she explodes one day when she s alone with a miserable looking mal waiting for nikolai to appear at a meeting “saints mal just talk to him”

and mal being mal just straightens his back and ignores her like a stubborn idiot which infuriates alina she totally tries to annoy him by reflecting some light into his eyes 

“i know something happened on the road between you two. you’re both acting weird. would it kill you to talk to him?” but mal doesn’t get to answer because nikolai is walking in talking about some plan, totally oblivious to what is happening. Later, after the meeting is over, alina gets nikolai alone and tries to talk to him, but he s just as stubborn as mal and tells her that there’s nothing to be done bc mal avoids him everytime he manages to get near him and got the message “my ego can’t handle another rejection”

therefore alina finds herself in need to fix this thing between nikolai and mal because the tension is getting on her nerves and she is stressed enough as it is with everything going on

little side note, the darkling still comes to her in visions and she thinks she is going insane before she starts talking to zoya about it and zoya takes in the habit of spending the evenings in alina’s rooms, both of them searching in books for more information about the amplifiers or sometimes talking. zoya isn’t soft and she never will be, but alina likes that. a lot. ANYWAY zoya is the one to come up with the plan to somehow lock nikolai and mal in a room together. they get tolya and tamar in on it too. 

alina makes sure she sets up a meeting with nikolai under a false pretext when mal is on watch. alina and mal arrive first and as soon as nikolai enters she gets up “oh saints i left the book in my rooms” and leaves before mal or nikolai can react. and then one of the twins closes the door and they can hear it being locked and then alina’s voice from the other side “we’ll let you out after you have a talk. the tension between you two is getting insufferable” 

they talk and sort things out a bit. everything gets less stressful for everyone

one night the darkling comes to alina, and zoya is about to leave. alina freezes because it’s not the darkling she sees, but zoya “she’ll never want you. i am the only one who can love you, who understands you.” it’s the darkling’s voice and alina can’t move, can’t breathe, just stares at the darkling as she takes back her own face. zoya can only see alina’s face getting paler and her expression more terrified even as the darkling disappears 

zoya tries to shake alina, calls out her name, but alina just looks at her with such a sad expression that it unsettles zoya even more. “she’s right” alina whispers, barely audible, over and over again 

“what did she tell you?! alina you can’t listen to her! she lies. she manipulates everyone, you can’t believe anything she says. it’s not the truth. anything she tells you”

alina shakes her head “you’ll never- i’m such an idiot.” tears are welling up in her eyes 

“i’ll never what?” “want me” 

and zoya freezes, just staring at alina, shocked. alina takes it wrong, she tries to put space between them, tries to run in embarassment, but zoya catches her hands, holds her still and looks into alina’s eyes. alina can’t look her in the eyes, can’t seem to find it in her to do it. “you really are an idiot if you think i would just spend my evenings and risk my ass for just any friend” and then she cups alina’s face in her palms and she kisses her. 

alina is so surprised she doesn’t respond to the kiss for a second, but then she kisses zoya back and they both just melt into each other. zoya feels a tear run down alina’s face, into her cheek and breaks away with a “don’t go soft on me now starkov” and alina laughs through her tears and goes to kiss zoya again just because she can.

wow this turned out way longer than i intended, but damn did it give me serotonin coming up with it. i just want to say that, if the darkling was a woman, the character would be more hated, but sexier and i’m alright with that. also everyone is queer because i said so. i have more zoyalina headcanons that i’ll probably post bc now i’m investedTM so come and shout about them to me i won’t mind

[bisluthq]

Nat, I feel the same way about Betty. I listened to the song and for me it made total sense that it was from a teenage boy pov (I'm totally fine with people thinking its a girl if they want) and I thought maybe it was because I'm a straight girl that I personally couldnt see it that way, but then when Ivy came out it did make sense to me for it to be queer (I alternate headcanons between Ivy being wlw or wlm and I love both ideas)

But James to me seem SO like a teenage boy, with the "Soo.... Not to assume or anything of course, but did you happen to change your homeroom bc of me?", and the whole " But I WAS thinking about you, doesnt that count?" Thought process lmao, to me it screams dumb teenage boy, it almost makes me want to ship it in a "he grows up and gets better and they only get together years later when they reunite unexpectedly"

Ya exactly. To me James sounds like an idiot boy from the stuff you say to him being like “but baby you’re not like other girls fuck your dumb bitch friends” to “I don’t even know why I’m upset about this man like I’m only 17 I don’t know anything but I MISS YOU” to the grand gesture he’s planning and all that. Also like the way the narrator blames August for what happened and their own choices and is like “oh well she offered to go for a drive dude what was I supposed to do come oooon 😩” feels like a very teenage boy problem because I can’t see many high school girls getting a ride with another girl and deciding that that’s ~romantic lol.

Dorothea to me sounds more naturally gay right because the narrator talks about buying makeup from Dorothea and the whole “skipping the prom just to piss off your mom” sounds like something a gay couple would do right like “well we can’t go anyway so let’s just go hang out us two” and whatever.

Ivy is also easy to imagine with a wlw storyline.

Cowboy Like Me is also possible to imagine mlm for me even though like because I like them as a couple I do personally like hearing it as for Taylor and Joe lol but I do understand hearing mlm themes in it from the fact that they’re both cowBOYS to the fact that there’s an element of forbidden love and kinda danger and shit throughout the story.

Betty isn’t gay TO ME but I get that out kids who were at school with lots of other gay kids can relate to it and that’s cool!