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ananke-xiii · 9 months ago

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“Regarding Dean” is an okay episode, the perfect episode to place between “Lily Sunder has Some Regrets” and “Stuck in the Middle with You”. It feels filler-y but it’s totally not because it shows us where Sam and Dean stand as far as s12 main themes are concerned: family&love.

To the surprise of probably nobody, we find out that Sam is struggling a lot when it comes to how he positions himself within his family and around the people he loves. Dean, on the other hand, is walking on a much safer ground (which seems like a joke since the ep is literally about Dean slowly losing his memory but I’ll get there), he’s ready to move on to the next chapter of his life, a chapter where his relationship with his brother is not his only&main focus.

Who are the other members of Sam and Dean’s family? This episode tells us it’s Mary and Cas. Even though, so far in the season, Mary has come and gone, Cas has spent a considerable amount of time with none other than Crowley and the brothers have spent a couple of months in prison, the episode explicitly highlights multiple times that Mary and Cas are their family, no matter the amount of time they all actually spend together: what matters is the infamous bond between them.

And who’s feeding this bond? Who’s actually keeping in touch with Mary and Cas? Who’s the primary point of contact? Dean, of course. At the beginning of the episode, when Sam meets Dean at the waffle joint and realizes Dean is maybe drunk and his smartphone is dead, he says: “All right, well, I'll text Mom, make sure she knows to get a hold of me in case of emergency. And Cas, in case he tracks down Kelly”.

So it’s safe to say (and it is because we’ve already seen in past episodes that Sam is definitely not the one playing games and texting with Mary, nor the one calling Cas or receiving calls from him: people in this family know who to contact and it’s not Sam) that Sam is somehow detached from this family dynamic and, we’ll later discover, doesn’t really know what to make of this.

After Sam discovers that Dean is not hangover but hexed, the first thing Dean says is: “Look, we could figure this out, okay? Don't go callin' Mom or Cas with this”. Mmmm, interesting. We’re back to Mary and Cas. Again. And why shouldn’t Sam call them? And, maybe more importantly, why Sam doesn’t call them anyway? So maaany questions :P

The last time Mary and Cas are mentioned together again is in the mirror scene. Dean is regarding himself in the bathroom mirror, trying to remember who he is and he defines himself as follows: “Ahh. Okay. My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Uh, Mary Winchester is my mom. And Cast—Cas is my best friend”. So Dean defines himself based on his relationship with the different family members: brother, son, best friend. Once he starts forgetting who these people are he also starts forgetting himself:

“My name is Dean Wi—Winchester.

My name—My name is...

My... My... I don’t know”.

This is crucial. The scene is quite tragic but it’s telling us an important truth: what matters to Dean, what’s important to him to the point that it defines who he is, is his relationship with his family, with the people he loves. I said that it’s quite tragic because, at least to me, it’s a bit bleak that Dean doesn’t know who he is without other people. But I’ll come back to this point later.

So who is Dean? The reply comes right after the mirror scene from Rowena’s mouth: “Oh, you're a killer, Dean Winchester”. And this is super interesting because just before we had this dialogue:

Rowena: You can really remember nothing, can you? What a gift not to recall the things you've done.

Dean: What have I done?

Are people the things they have done? Rowena could’ve said “You kill people, Dean” but no, she says “You are a killer”. And okay, the use of the verb “to kill” can start a debate on morals&justice&law (what’s the difference between killing and being a killer etc) but not the point here. The point here being that Rowena, regarding Dean, is confusing being and doing but Dean is not. He replies: “Wait, I... I kill people?”.

Rowena continues in her “misunderstanding”:

Rowena: But... but... though you may be a stubborn pain in the arse with the manners of a Neanderthal and the dining habits of a toddler, everything you've done, you've done... for the greater good.

Dean: Oh, and that's supposed to make it okay?

Rowena: I wouldn't know. You help those other than yourself. But me, I've done horrible things, and I told myself it was fine. It was the price of power. And power's what matters, right?

Then I met God and his sister. The two most powerful beings in the universe, wasting it on squabbling with each other. I thought, if—if they can't be happy, or at least satisfied, how can there be any hope for me?

Okay, so now we maybe have a clearer picture of who Dean is: he’s a killer (or he kills people) but he does so for the greater good. To help people other than himself. This is not exactly news to us, I mean, this episode is not telling us anything actually NEW about Dean but the catch is that it’s not about him, it’s about regarding him. How people perceive him and how he perceives himself. The last being the most important thing, we’ll have the answer at the end of the episode.

Rowena also drops the “happy” bomb. She’s talking based on the assumption that she must do things in order to be happy, even if these are horrible things, things she tells herself she's fine doing them because it’s the price of power. We’re starting to see the old theme of the “price of happiness” and Rowena thinks she’s paid it but she’s still unhappy and she’s becoming hopeless.

(Cas' love declaration in s15x18 echoes Rowena's dialogue, apart from the Dean thing (you're not a killer aka you're not how your enemies regard you, you're the most caring man aka you're how the people that love you regard you etc), Cas' words circle around the same concept: happiness is not in the having, is in the being or, maybe even more importantly, is in the giving oneself permission to be your true self)

Now we need to talk about Sam. While Dean is having an existential crisis in the bathroom, Sam drops another fucking bomb: “You know, I've seen my brother die, but watching him become... not him... This might actually be worse”.

Excuse me, sir? I mean, this is a very very loaded thing to say. To Sam Winchester seeing his brother dying might be better than watching him become not him. Which is also incorrect, because Dean is not not becoming him, he’s just Dean without "the weight" of the past on his shoulders. (btw, will somebody please give a hug to this giant man who's lived a life where death is o-kay and what's worse is living and not knowing how to move on? Please??? He needs it!) I think this says more about how Sam feels about himself than about how he feels about Dean and his relationship with his brother. And I think I’m right because at the end of the episode Sam explicitly says he was jealous. Sam really should be the one regarding himself in the mirror (and it’s a fucking shame that we didn’t get something like this for Sam because god, it’d be bomb) trying to remember who he is because Dean might be losing his memories but Sam is totally lost and in the dark.

He doesn’t call Mary or Cas because ??? but he does call Rowena for help, Rowena magically teleports and immediately arrives (okay she has an agenda but she does come super quickly, let’s give her that), she agrees to help them and to all of that Sam says: “I obviously don’t trust you”. Which, to be honest, fair, Sam I approve your long-lasting distrust of everything that has to do with Crowley because you have real reasons to do so. But it’s also time for you to learn to create meaningful connections and you cannot do so if you’re not willing to trust people. (important: Rowena tries to steal the Black Grimoire in this ep, the same book that she’ll try to steal in s13. Sam will then give her the one page she needs for her spell, so, you know, way to go Sam! It takes him one whole season to trust Rowena with one only page of the book but, progress).

Okay, time to wrap this rambling up with the final scene. We have this dialogue right here and it’s so gooood:

Sam: So how you holding up after the spell?

Dean: That thing kicked my ass.

Sam: You know, I gotta be honest. I was actually, uh, a little jealous at first.

Dean: Of what? The curse that nearly killed me?

Sam: No, just, you know... some of the things we've done, we've had this weight for... forever. And seeing it gone, uh, you looked happy.

Dean: Huh. Well, look, was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn't just the crap that got lost. I mean, it was everything. It was us, it was what we do, you know? All of it. So... that's what being happy looks like? I think I'll pass.

Sam and Rowena were a little jealous at first. Because Dean showed them life without the weight of the things they carry, the things they’ve done. Dean looked HAPPY. We can infer that Sam and Rowena are not happy, they do feel the weight of the things they’ve done and they would like OUT. They still have a long walk ahead of them to discover who they are apart from what they do and decide what’s next, what they decide to do, who they want to be and what are the actions that can lead them there.

But Dean, Dean is almost there, people. He’s not lost at all, even though he was the one with the brain almost gone. “It was us” and “it was what we do”. The distinction for him it’s clear. And he has weighted the pros and the cons and he has decided that IF that's what happiness is, if happiness is just forgetting about the crap, forgetting about the past, he will pass. He’s not willing to pay the price for a happiness where he doesn’t have a connection with his family, where the people he cares about (and for whom he does very bad things) are not there. The price for the supposed happiness is not worth Sam, Mary and Cas.

Earlier I said that I thought it was bleak, you know, not knowing yourself apart from other people. But the last scene where Dean is riding Larry (and he’s not yet under the spell so he’s Dean-Dean there) gives a lot of unexpected hope.

The song in the background is nostalgic and, frankly sad:

“So dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy

Dream while you can

For soon, you'll be a dreadful thing

My son, you'll be a man”

But it’s appropriate. Dean has accepted that, for him, caring for the people he loves is what constitutes his happiness. He has accepted that “horrible things” have been done and maybe will be done in their names. Acceptance is key: he’s on the right path to discover new parts of himself. He doesn't want to lose "the crap" because losing it means he'll also lose the people he cares about. And without the these people, without Sam, Mary and Cas, he doesn't yet know who he is. But he wants to find out. He wants to move on. And he wants to move on with the people he loves, doing "the good and the bad", not alone, oblivious and fake-happy. It’s bittersweet as all changes are but it must be done. He’s ready to grow up, ready to be a man, ready for love, ready to start a family, guys :").

(unfortunately it'll all go to pieces when Cas dies and Mary disappears in the AU (OF COURSE Dean will lose his will to live after that, because he was still in the process of differantiating himself from others, but he was SO there ffs) so thanks for nothing s12)(s14 "Lebanon" thankfully comes back to this theme and there Dean finally says, again and out loud for the people in the back, that he's okay with the choices he's made because they resulted in this crazy-ass, totally weirdo, supernatural family and he loves it and he's good with that. PERIOD)

#spn #supernatural #spn rewatch #spn season 12 #regarding dean #dean winchester #sam winchester #rowena macleod #spn s12 #spn meta #phd in spn s12

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gryficowa · 9 months ago

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The most difficult thing about boycotting Google is that it is everywhere, seriously, it has bought YouTube, Facebook and Instagram, but if we do not use these platforms, the chance that someone will find out about the genocide that is taking place is too small, so unfortunately, we have to accept that there are things that cannot be boycotted, no matter how much we want to boycott them, alternatives to, for example, YouTube almost do not exist, or they are based on cryptocurrencies, because if social networking sites exist as alternatives, then we have a problem, YouTube is the dominant platform, so any information about Israel's crimes has a greater chance of getting through, unfortunately, YouTube was bought by Google at the very beginning of its existence, so Google gets something and that's the worst

The second problem is Intel, because it is usually found in cheaper devices (Notebooks), unfortunately, only those who have money can afford an alternative, seriously, many alternatives are expensive as hell, because even when buying smartphones you have more options to choose from, in notebooks it uses mainly Intel, which can be frustrating, because the Intel company is in the occupied Palestinian lands, so yes, the colonizers get money and that's the worst

Unfortunately, these two are the most difficult to boycott due to many factors, because in the case of food and smartphones you have a lot of alternatives, but here there are few of them, do you want to talk about Palestine so that people know about what Israel is doing? Use YouTube, you have a greater chance of reaching, you want to play and have equipment for e.g. graphics, but you can't afford it? Laptop with Intel

Seriously, many things can be boycotted, but these two are the hardest (Okay, Intel may be easier, but Google? Well, not so much)

I mainly use laptops (Because smartphones irritate me, yes, writing is a nightmare), so that's why I say I have a problem with Intel, I use a laptop, I listen to music on it, I look for information, etc…

People who use smartphones may think my problem is stupid, I know, it's strange, but I seriously don't like touch screens (phones used to have keyboards, I'm a zoomer), every time I write, I keep pressing the wrong letter and so on endlessly, which for me is irritating (I have ASD, risk of meltdown), so I prefer to avoid this type of problem, laptops, at least they haven't lost their keyboards, unfortunately, as I mentioned, the problem starts when you use notebooks, and they use Intel, alternatives almost do not exist, and when they do, they are expensive, which can be a big limitation, because if you don't want to use Intel, you can't , and laptops have a built-in graphics card, so you're screwed, I have laptops because I don't have room for a PC, so even if I wanted to build a computer, it's impossible

Unfortunately, I am doomed to Intel, especially when the laptop starts to die, which will force me to buy a new one (Because not everything can be replaced), and therefore, give money to Intel, which, as I mentioned, is in occupied territories, standard laptops are not enough, because I draw in digital and play games, something that an ordinary laptop cannot handle (I had it, so I know)

So if you can boycott it's ok, if you can't boycott it's ok too, these two are at the top of the hardest things to boycott, so it's nothing bad that you can't do it, the most important thing is that you boycott everything else (Including Eurovision where the tumblr people failed)

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moonfurthetemmie · 1 year ago

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Untitled.MP4

Previous | Next | First (with warnings)

Part 3

June 10, 20XX

Mercury is the only one in the office. He seems calm, but anxious.

"Jasper is out getting samples for me, so I'll try to update the record quickly. The stranger-"

A sudden banging from off camera causes Mercury to jump, and turn. He grabs something from under the table. The banging continues, with voices that sound like they're coming from the other side of a door, but Mercury doesn't move. Eventually the noises stop, and after a few minutes Mercury turns back to the camera.

"Fuck, they've been doing that all day-" His voice is quieter than before. "Okay. The stranger is gone. We haven't seen hide or hair of them. None of the others have said a word about them; not that we've tried asking. They all try to attack us and get us out of the hazmat suits, to 'join them', if they see us. Also, we've discovered some vectors of transmission, as well as...symptoms? Yeah, fuck it, I'll call them symptoms, this is definitely a fungal infection."

Mercury pulls out a smartphone.

"Firstly, transmissions. The main vector seems to be air. These mushrooms give off a number of spores that will attach to and grow on just about anything. So far no one's been infected this way, but looking at the state of the manor, I'm sure it'd only be a matter of time without our hazmat suits."

He holds up the phone, waiting for the camera to focus. It's a picture of a hallway, covered in reddish-orange film. Large mushrooms sprout from the darkest corners, and mold creeps along the floors and walls. Along the walls are square-shaped areas of mold, spaced regularly apart, that seem to be letting through a smidge of light. Presumably, these used to be windows.

"We think blood is also a likely vector, as well as skin contact," Mercury says, lowering the phone. "Before Paraiba was infected, she said Silver and Koroit went in a room alone together; and that was before Koroit start growing mushrooms. Paraiba wasn't sure what had happened, but she said Silver also came back with bite marks on their shoulders that were bleeding. Silver apparently said that Koroit had similar marks that weren't from them. Fungal STD! Isn't that fun."

Mercury shudders again. "And as mentioned previously, Koroit had some interest in Zircon prior to all of this starting. Most of us were pretty sure they'd had--" Mercury does a few fake coughs. "--Intimate relations. It wouldn't surprise me if that's how Zircon got infected. All of that, plus the fact that the stranger had gotten Koroit alone for a while prior to her acting weird, it's likely that the stranger is the one who infected Koroit."

Mercury leans back in his chair, arms folded. "But if that's the case, and blood is a transmission vector, why hadn't Obsidian shown any symptoms? The stranger got to him well before they did Koroit, and it didn't take long at all for Koroit to start growing mushrooms on her. Obsidian was fine, though. I'm almost tempted to find him and ask."

He is silent for a moment, then shakes his head.

"Eh, whatever. He can rot. He deserves it."

Mercury picks up the phone again.

"Now, symptoms. The symptoms of an initial infection appear to be white, itching patches on skin, lack of coordination, and confusion. After that the coordination improves, the white patches spread and begin to grow fruiting bodies, and what seems to be an all-consuming desire to spread their sickness. Which is even scarier when one of the transmission vectors is blood, and you already live with someone who’s known to force himself on people.

“Honestly, I'm praying to whatever gods are out there that Obsidian actually is immune, because if he suddenly decides he wants to spread this nasty shit, my office is not going to be safe no matter how much we reinforce the door."

Mercury sighs and sets the phone down, tapping his finger on the desk. "Let's see...I don't think there's much else to report on. We've made progress with an airlock, but neither Jasper nor myself are engineers, so we can only hope it's enough. But I can rig up a shower thing to decontaminate our suits when we come in. I've already created a solution that can kill the fungus--which, mind you, is incredibly toxic to all things and is in no way to be used as a cure or treatment--so all I need to do is make a little shower thing. I might have it drain out into the hallway; the fungus and mold isn't quite as bad right out there just yet, so it shouldn't make too awful a sludge. Right? Right."

The video ends.

#Untitled.MP4 #JMV #JMV Mercury #Moonfur Writing

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mycomicbox · 9 months ago

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Random Thoughts on Persona 5 Royal - Part 4

[Progress: November 20th, 6th Palace conquered, first Bad Ending viewed]

<<< Part 3

Y'know, sometimes, I worry that my comments on this game are just meaningless fluff, but then again, these are my Random Thoughts, not a profound literary analysis.

After seeing this unused design, I am ITCHING to design a female protagonist for Persona 5 (à la Persona 3 Portable), but I want to finish the game before then, so that I have full context. I already have a pretty clear design for her in my head.

Cool how the Akihabara crane game plays the Junes Theme from Persona 4. My headcanon is that Junes and the crane machine have the same parent company.

I forgot to mention this earlier, but Elizabeth Maxwell did a fantastic job voicing Sae Niijima.

Network Fusion is fun... and game-breaking. I managed to fuse a Parvati with Thunder Reign, Wild Thunder, Victory Cry, and the Bargain Bolts trait.

One thing I noticed back during the Okumura arc: if you talk to Chihaya during that part of the game, she'll mention that the Empress card kept coming up during her readings, foreshadowing Haru joining the Phantom Thieves.

Sojiro was surprisingly chill with finding out the protagonist's secret. He'd make an awesome Phantom Thief. I might draw that...

That's... a lot of eyeliner, ma'am.

As much as I refuse to step foot into a casino IRL, I love the aesthetic of casino-themed levels/areas/characters in video games. Other examples I can think of are that one level in Kirby: Planet Robobot, or the Gambler job from Bravely Default II.

Now with proper context, the scene with the protagonist getting beat up in a cell has a lot more weight behind it than at the start of the game. I physically winced.

...

And now, we've caught up with the present. Here I lie, on the floor of this interrogation room... six feet under.

I sold out my friends to save my own hide, and even then, it was for naught.

I've failed.

I'm sorry, everyone...

If only I had shown her the smartphone...

...

⚡️ Confidant Lightning Round

I've heard that the Priestess Confidant is, narratively, one of the weaker S-Links/Confidants in the series, and... yeah, I have to agree. It's not terrible, but I feel as though Makoto wasn't really the star of the show in her own Confidant. And on top of that, her awakened Persona isn't a motorcycle anymore!? Cringe. (I still like Makoto, though.)

It's narratively fitting that I maxed out the Priestess Confidant right before the fight with Shadow Sae.

Great vegetables.

Rank 7 of the Hierophant Confidant really helps explain why Sojiro was so tough on the protagonist near the beginning of the game: he was projecting his own feelings of having to stay in line. Throughout modern Persona, this Arcana has pretty consistently good writing.

What the hell is Akechi's problem!? Then again, I guess I'm going to find out soon.

Futaba's Rank 10 was really heartwarming, especially in conjunction with Sojiro's Confidant. Though, I'm going to miss her initial Persona's design...

To see Chihaya go from scamming people, to taking responsibility for her actions, to weaving her own fate... it's really something. (If you're curious as to who I romanced, it's her. She's too cute.)

The maid cafe scene with the Warden Twins got a chuckle out of me.

I've always been particularly interested by the Social Links/Confidants involving those younger than the protagonist (such as Maiko, Nanako, and now Shinya). I think it's because kids generally have a more limited worldview, and as such, don't have the same tools to navigate their issues that teens and adults have.

If Mishima was a real person, he'd be like one of those people who annoys me, but I wouldn't have the heart to tell him that he annoys me. Granted, I think he gets too much hate as a character: his whole endgame is dealing with both his sense of entitlement and his lack of self-worth (with both issues being connected).

#i talk #my gameplay #persona series #smt persona #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #persona 5 spoilers

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disneyplusbgin · 1 year ago

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Your Disney+ TV Guide: Watch on Any Television

In today's world, Disney Plus is one of the most popular streaming services around the globe. With a vast collection of Disney classics as well as the latest releases, there's no wonder why.

Like all good things, Disney Plus has certain problems. As an example, many users expressed dissatisfaction with the message to users to go to disneyplus.com/begin as well as disneyplus.com/begin code where they can enter their 8-digit password.

If you are facing similar issues and experience the same issue , then you're on the right track. In this article, we'll lead you through the steps of solving your disneyplus.com login issue and getting moving forward. Before we can begin searching for the solution, it is essential to first aware of what's happening in the way disneyplus.com functions.

What is Disneyplus.com Login/Begin?

Its disneyplus.com login/begin platform has grown in popularity around the world due to its high compatibility. You can get the complete collection of newly released Disney classics. If you're a Disney enthusiast, you'll need to avail the streaming service.

Hulu, Netflix, and Amazon Prime Video all have streaming platforms, and Disneyplus com/begin is among them. The great thing about this streaming platform is that it can be used on a wide range of devices which include tablets smart devices, TVs, computer, iOS, and Android smartphones.

Disneyplus.com login/begin 8 digit code

As I mentioned above that disneyplus.com/begin is a popular OTT platform. It is the same if you want to watch DisneyPlus through Smart TV (Android TV). So for this you have to enter disneyplus.com login/begin 8 digit code on Smart TV. For this , you need to be sure to follow a few steps.

In this situation most people prefer to seek out the solution to this question on Reddit. Following that, he also begun searching for "disneyplus.com login/begin 8 digit code reddit". Let me tell the world that Disneyplus has joined forces with Hotstar for India. It has since come to be called Disneyplus Hotstar in India.

How to Activate Disney Plus on Smart TV?

Follow the below steps to enable disneyplus on your smart television.

The first step is to turn on your smart television after which you connect it your internet connection.

Then, search for on the Disney Plus application and install the application.

You must login on Disney plus. Disney plus app, or even if you are using the Disney plus begin code. You will be able to see the unique code after log in.

You can open disneyplus.com/begin in your web browser (you may open it on your pc or mobile app) and enter the television code here. Click"Activate" and then click the "Activate" button.

Should the code be correct you can stream the video on your TV right immediately.

These steps will work with any smart tv except for Apple TVs where you don't have to activate your account by entering the code. These steps will work for Amazon Fire Stick as well. For PS4 and Xfinity, you don't need to sign up for the account with the code, you just need to sign in to your account.

Keep an eye out for updates at disneyplus.com/begin.

Open Finder and then your Mac App Store. Mac App Store.

Next, from the left menu, select Updates.

Finally, if there is an update that is pending, simply click the Update button in the middle of the disneyplus.com login/begin app.

The update option is to also upgrade all the apps that are in the queue by clicking Update All.

For Mac machines follow the instructions above.

The next step is checking for any new updates which must be installed. Because this streaming platform is in its early stages that it isn't stable enough as well as security updates that can ensure it is not a target for breach of data and other issues.

This means that you should be prepared for frequent updates to address problems such as your login link not being working.

How to Watch Disney Plus on an Apple TV

There is a way to do it. Disney Plus is supported on Apple TV. But, it is important to be aware the fact that your Apple TV device needs to be a fourth-generation model or the latest version. If it's one then it's an Apple TV should be good to go. That is, once you set things up and set it up. Here's how to do that - disneyplus.com/begin.

If you still haven't subscribed to Disney Plus, you can subscribe through the Apple App Store. You'll enter your payment details via your iTunes account. The prompts on screen will guide you through the procedure.

Here's how to get Disney Plus on Apple TV.

On the Apple TV's home screen, you can access the App Store. The App Store is only available in fourth-generation Apple TV devices, which is why you must have a fourth-generation Apple TV model in order to utilize Disney Plus.

Within the App Store's search box, type in "Disney plus."

Select Download to download and then download the app.

Once the app is downloaded and installed Once it is installed, visit it's Disney Plus icon, and choose it.

Input you Disney Plus credentials where prompted.

That's it. You've successfully set up Disney Plus on your Apple TV device.

How can I download Disney plus if I don't have a smart TV?

You are able to get access Disney Plus with a Fire TV stick. It's a small device that plugs into the back of your TV connecting it with the Internet. Each stick comes with user-friendly software that allows you to download a variety of streaming apps like BBC iPlayer, Netflix and, of course, Disney+.

If you're still not sure which you should choose, read the Amazon Fire TV Stick review and Roku Express review or our overview of the top streaming sticks. It may also be worth browsing the latest Amazon Fire TV Stick deals as the online giant regularly drops prices on its own devices - disneyplus.com/begin.

Almost all of these devices have an app store, which will allow you to search through and then download and install the Disney Plus app. You can sign up for an account for a Disney plus account through the app or - even easier - register on an internet browser and log in.

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cloudytaemin · 3 years ago

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Sugar (Teaser)

Pairing: Taemin x Reader

Genre: Sugar Daddy AU, Smut, PWP, PWF

Series Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, Mental Illness, Depression, Alcohol, Sex, Daddy Kink, BDSM

Teaser Warnings: Pet names

WC: TBA

Teaser WC: 790

A/N: So.. listen. I'm not back permanently, this is a very small teaser that I have no clue if it'll become anything but.. jesus Taemin bogoshipda hit me in the fucking face LMFAO but no seriously I'm back! At a very different schedule, I'll post every few months most likely.

Taemin sighs as Dahyun looks at him, puppy-eyed. "I told you not to show up. I'm done with you, I'm finding someone else."

"B-but master!" Dahyun pleads, biting her lip.

"You got old, what more is there to say? I don't have time for worn out toys," he explains, ushering her outside of the door to his penthouse. "And I never liked being called master anyways." He slams the door in her face and slumps onto the couch nearby.

The young businessman picks up his smartphone and begins to scroll through his sugar baby app, as usual. Unlike most of the men around him and in his field, he was not in his late 30s and early 40s. At 25, Lee Taemin had made his name from the bottom up, but his hard work didn't mean he wasn't horny. Constantly.

As he scrolls, he comes across your profile. It took but a few seconds for him to click the chat button, sending you a short and sweet message.

T: Hello y/n, my name is Lee Taemin, your profile piques my interest, does coffee tomorrow at 3 pm work?

y/n: oh hi

y/n: sure, who's picking me up?

T: My driver will be at whatever location you please by 2:45.

y/n: sounds good, ill text it to you in a few minutes

Taemin found you to be particularly unenthusiastic seeing as you were on this app, but he ignored it for now. He knew you would learn how you should treat him once the two of you met.

The next day, he prepares the newest MacBook model and a pair of Beats for you. Since he was unaware of your fashion tastes, he decided that it would do until he could take you out properly.

You, on the other hand, hadn't put much effort into anything. While most people on that website used it for designer clothing and new things, you used it to pay your college tuition. It came with perks, sure, but school came before anything else that those old men wanted to give you. Taemin was nothing special to you, he had the same old message that every one of the about-to-croak old guys gave you. You'd suck their dicks and give it to them for a few weeks before moving on again.

Not expecting anyone attractive, mildly decent, or even nice, you wore a skimpy laced crop top and high-rise black ripped jeans. That usually gets them. His driver picks you up at exactly 2:45 like your newest source of income had said he would.

The cafe is surprisingly small and quiet, but still expensive and fancy. You're confused when there's only a single table sat at, the man being attractive and young. Exactly the opposite of what you're expecting. His smooth voice fills the air along with the soft instrumental in the coffee shop as he speaks to you. "You must be y/n, if I'm not mistaken?"

"Yep, that's me," you respond, suddenly feeling underdressed for the occasion in front of Taemin. "You're Taemin?"

"I am. But that's not really how you should address me, is it?"

"No, daddy," the word rolls off your tongue easily, like butter. You've said it hundreds of times, but for him it somehow doesn't feel fitting in public. "I'm sorry... forgive me?"

"Anything for you, princess," Taemin responds, motioning for you to sit down. "Let's not start out with any sugarcoating, I'm not like your previous men. I'm sure you figured that out from the second that you walked in based on your facial expression. I don't consider myself to be a very rude person, I simply ask you follow the rules I set. Understood?" You nod.

"Number one is most likely the easiest to follow, listen to what I say. Number two, if I call for you, I expect you to be there unless someone is dying. Last, you don't give the orders. I do. If I ask for something, I expect it to be done by you. You don't get to ask me to do something for you if it doesn't involve money, especially in bed. Keep in mind these are loose terms and mean whatever I want them to. Got it?"

"Yes daddy," you reply.

"Now, princess, go home, and I'll take you out tomorrow. Nothing happens for the first week besides interaction. I should know you before I feel you." Taemin stands shortly and is gone in just a moment.

You spend the night pondering over the young businessman, wondering how in the world you had managed to make such a score. He paid your college tuition AND wouldn't be a pain to fuck? It's your dream come true.

#taemin x reader #taemin scenarios #taemin smut #taemin fanfic #shinee smut #shinee x reader #shinee fanfic #shinee scenarios #kpop fanfic

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brendleellipsis · 5 months ago

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This sorta touches on a feeling about generative A.I. that I haven't been able to put into words. I'm gonna put them under a "read more" link, since this might get sorta long and rambly lol

I don't want to be, like... I think the word is a Luddite? Basically, I'd rather not be That Guy who's all hesitant and scared whenever new technology arises. I've been taking a class about Language and Digital Technology, and a common theme I've seen in the readings is people who are critical of new technologies, even if they end up making knowledge far more accessible. This attitude has been held by some with the advent of smartphones, and the internet, and one essay I read discussed how some even held this belief toward written lanugage, as opposed to the oral tradition.

I think, as technology continues to get more and more advanced, that knowledge will become more accessible, and that that's generally a good thing.

But... some of those criticisms weren't exactly invalid, were they? With the dawn of the home computer, the internet, the smartphone, knowledge did become more accessible, but it also introduced a whole host of new problems. It fundamentally altered the way humans interact with the world around us, and some of those changes weren't positive. Our attention spans have decreased, and having that wealth of information constantly at our fingertips has altered our collective knowledge, and that's not even beginning to mention the tremendous amount of misinformation that also becomes available to us through the internet, or the consequences of so much of our social interaction being through programs owned by massive corporations, beholden to advertisers and no one else.

A.I. as a technology might have some upsides, I'm not going to be so arrogant as to deny that as a possibility. But with those upsides, there will always be problems that need to be addressed if the technology is going to be used in an ethical way.

And that's just not happening with A.I. right now. Instead of using it to assist in certain industries like medicine, using it as a tool to make society more efficient and helpful to others... it's mostly just being used to spit out images and text composited from countless different sources, most of whom were not asked nor compensated for their work being used.

And even disregarding all the ethical quandaries with that, which... tall order, but whatever...

...What exactly do we gain from this?

Like this article says, A.I. "art" as a whole just sort of diminishes art for everyone. It's the logical endpoint to capitalism in the creative spaces, the epitome of "corporate art", art as "content" and sources of revenue, rather than sincere expression of humanity.

To try and define what "makes us human" is often reductive or exclusionary, so I'm not going to do that here. Besides, at the end of the day, it's humans who are pushing for this technology to be used to replace artists or other workers to increase corporate profits. That's human, just as much as creativity is human.

But those corporate assholes... they don't really see us as human, do they? They see us as potential customers, or potential employees. In short, they see us as sources of revenue.

That's my real problem with A.I., now that I really think about it. Not just that it's a roundabout method of plagiarism, not just that it's deeply unethical to parade it as an infallible source of information when it frequently makes up incorrect facts... but that it's an arrogant and uncaring act of diminishing humanity and the entire world around us to a game where the biggest net worth wins, to hell with anyone who gets hurt on the way up.

My problem, as it always seems to turn out, is with capitalism.

-- Ted Chiang, from "Why A.I. Isn't Going to Make Art"

#technology #ai is not art #this was... way longer than it needed to be #but i was having Thoughts #and i needed to get em out

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buqalamun · 4 years ago

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10 years of Anki, a rambling reflection

I can't believe I've been using Anki for a decade.

(not the whole decade, as you can see. But it's 10 years ago today that I studied cards for the first time)

The beginning

11 years ago, I was studying abroad in Tajikistan. One of my classmates had learned Arabic and Persian really well in the same amount of time that it took me to get to a really mediocre level in just one language. He mentioned offhand that one of the keys to his success was a computer program called Anki, digital flashcards for daily vocabulary study.

Something about a magical algorithm that will show you vocabulary just before you're about to forget it... Spaced Repetition... I didn't really understand at the time, but hey, it worked for him!

Unfortunately, it took a year for me to follow his advice. I didn't care for the idea of spending ages in front of my computer to drill flashcards every day (I didn't have a smartphone, and I wouldn't get one for several years yet). And I didn't think I needed it! My memory was fine... Right?

But a year later, I was doing my MA in translation, and really struggling to keep my language skills sharp. I was learning loads of new words, but they fell out of my head as soon as I moved on to the next text. So I finally installed the program that would become my second brain, my backup language memory.

Now it's ten years later, and I study 5 languages with Anki. I spend about 20 minutes per day reviewing 200-300 cards. I've taken breaks and lost and regained interest several times over the course of 10 years, but I consider Anki a fundamental part of my language learning practice.

First, a disclaimer

Is Anki flawless and absolutely necessary to learn a language? No. There are just as many people who blindly venerate Anki as there are those who loudly criticise it.

It's not absolute magic, it's a tool - a machine that needs tinkering and maintenance to be used well. It's not a one-size-fits-all solution, but it is flexible enough to fit many different people's needs, if one is willing to figure out how to use it.

Its steep learning curve and depth are things that make it hard to recommend to other people. Showing someone Anki for the first time and explaining how I use it feels a bit like giving someone an empty notebook and telling them,

"This is my favourite book. It's revolutionized my studying!! But first, you should change the cover, because the one it comes with isn't great. Then you should adjust the tightness of the binding. Don't forget to use a special pen! And it doesn't have anything written in it yet, you have to add all of that yourself. And if you stop using it for more than a few days at a time, it becomes really difficult to catch up with. But it's my favourite notebook and it works really well if you use it right!"

Some people will love to customise it and get everything just right, and can get great results. Some people think this is way too much bother, and I totally respect that. How many hours did I spend learning Anki at the beginning, that I could have used to learn my languages? After 10 years, I'm sure I've broken even, but how can you be sure you'll stick with it?

(There are a lot of New and Suspended cards in my collection because I have imported a bunch of Subs2SRS decks, which serve as a mass sentence bank when I want to find how a word is used in context. I rely on that less and less now that I'm using Migaku, though - more on that below.)

My current routine

I do my daily reviews with AnkiDroid on my phone, in small chunks over the course of the day - during all those microbreaks, like waiting for a meeting to start, or standing in line, or on the bus. I used to do nearly all my cards during my morning bus commute, but I'm not commuting anymore! But having Anki in my pocket is essential; I've never been able to keep the habit of reviewing on the computer every day.

Once or twice a week, I open Anki on my computer so I can take advantage of some of the awesome add-ons, and more easily add and edit cards.

My must-have add-ons

These aren't all the add-ons I have installed, but they are the most impactful day-to-day.

Multi-column note editor: Save precious screen space for note types that have many fields (and you should have a lot of fields, to keep information separate, so you can move things around on your card freely. Don't you dare put translation/pronunciation/definition/audio/gender/notes/etc all in the same field!)

Straight Reward: Prevent 'ease hell'. It adjusts card ease based on how many times you get it right in a row (a streak/'straight'). It adjusts in batches, so it also works with mobile so long as you log in on the computer every so often.

Morphman: Wrangle Subs2SRS decks into shape. Calculates how many words you know, finds the sentences you know and the ones you should learn. Works best with Chinese and Japanese.

Migaku Dictionary (and Migaku Browser Extension - it isn't strictly an Anki add-on, but it connects to Anki): The dicitionary lets you look up words from the card browser and copy definitions with one click. The Browser Extension allows full audio sentence/definition cards from Netflix/Youtube/etc in a matter of clicks. Killer app for language learners while immersing with media.

New branches, new leaves, same tree

I love how Anki can adapt to different study methods over time. My card collection is a constantly evolving creature. I started with very basic one-word vocabulary cards... Then little by little I added things like pronunciation and example sentences... I moved to sentence cards, then audio cards. I thought things couldn't get any better than mass-importing Subs2SRS decks, especially with Morphman, and now I like the more targeted approach of hand-picked sentences with the Migaku extension.

Old leaves fall. New ones take their place. Branches are added. Flowers and fruits abound. The trunk itself grows larger. But the tree remains the very same.

-Edmond Privat

It's been with me across 4 phones, 3 computers, a tablet and an ebook reader. It has sentences from most of the books I've read in foreign languages over these years, quotes from friends and language partners, heartwarming moments from Cdramas I've watched, and many lines from movies, poems, and songs. I feel a little sentimental about my collection when I think about it in this way - it's been with me through so much, and I've put a lot of myself into it.

The deal you make with Anki

I've never been able to stick with any ~language learning apps~ for a long time. I don't like to stick to someone else's curriculum or someone else's pace, I want to do things my way. I want to design my cards exactly the way I like them. I want to learn from my favourite tv shows, I want to choose exactly the vocabulary that I prioritise.

Anki basically says: OK, choose whatever you want to learn. Set up your cards. And if you agree to check in every day, I'll make sure that material sticks in your memory. That's the deal. Well, I haven't always kept up my end of the bargain - sometimes I check in after a few weeks and find a big stack of cards waiting for me. But when it does work... It just works beautifully.

I hope this was helpful in some way

Lastly, some very quick Settings advice as a reward for reading this far: Keep New Cards/Day low, or they will sneak up on you later. Keep Maximum Interval high. Raise the Interval Modifier higher. Leech Threshold should be low, and the New Interval for Lapses should be at least 10% (mine is 20). Anki works best for long-term memory, not for time-sensitive things like exams. Plenty of people do use it in that way, but I can't give any advice on it :)

And most importantly - you control Anki, don't let it control you. If you're not having fun, if you're getting frustrated and not seeing any progress - You have the power to change things up. Adjust your material, adjust your cards or your settings. Take a break from new cards if you need to. If it's making you really miserable...walk away! It's not meant to be a torture device. It's a tool for you to use as you see fit.

If you're interested in reading more ramblings on Anki, I've written a lot more and shared some of my decks for Persian & Mandarin too.

#anki srs #language learning #anki #langblr #polyglot #op #best of #morphman #migaku

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boop-le-snoot · 4 years ago

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main masterlist ☀️ taglist & faq

hot wheels | natasha romanoff x reader

explicit, 5,2k words, f/f. meet-ugly but still very much wholesome. we love a girlboss. natasha catches some random woman keying her brand new car but decides to be the better person for once and hear the woman out. turns out, being the better person can even get one laid! warnings: singular use of the d-slur, references to an abusive ex, lesbian sex.

[no y/n, no "you", nickname only, no reader description - race/age/body type neutral, she/her pronouns]

Natasha gave the tall, lanky boy an unimpressed look as she side-stepped the arguing couple to avoid colliding with the annoyed, teary-eyed woman the boy was groveling to. It was nearing rush hour and there was shopping to be done before the heavy NYC traffic could steer her already busy schedule down into an unmanageable chaos.

"But, Foxy, you know I didn't mean it! I love you, more than anything!"

The items on the spy's list were checked off methodically, item after item landing in the cart with a quiet thud as the redhead maneuvered through the isles with tactical precision. The usual afternoon crowd began to fill the store, taking up the so-needed breathing space; Natasha's shopping trip wasn't a moment of leisure and with her neverending to-do list full, she hurried to the self-check-out register, flying through the motions mindlessly.

Scan, place, beep, boop, pay, load up the bags, make way to the car, load up and pedal to the metal.

Scratch that. No, scratch - Natasha's eyes bulged as she neared her shiny, brand new Charger, seeing the obvious defects even from a mile away: the paint, previously cherry red and gleaming in the sun, ruined by a series of thin, gray lines, standing out unpleasantly on the otherwise pristine vehicle.

And the culprit, who's tuft of hair peeked over the hood of the car on the other side of the Charger, almost fully hidden between her car and the large Chevrolet in the next parking spot over.

Natasha's fingers clenched around the handle of the cart as she fought the urge to reach for her knife safely holstered under her leather jacket. "Excuse me?" Tone quiet and deadly, the spy prepared herself to fight or at least slightly shake up the hooligan.

The figure froze, vaguely familiar clothing and a puffy, tear-stained face slowly rising from behind Natasha's car. "In my defense, he deserves it," the girl - Foxy - the one that was arguing in front of the store earlier, declared through a stream of angry tears. "Call the cops if you want, I don't care." It was unclear if the girl recognised her, the Black Widow, as she made no move to run for the hills, just pathetically sniffled, pocketing the keys she used to scratch Natasha's car.

"That's my car," The spy responded flatly, a great deal of amusement crawling into her face as Foxy's eyes bulged, jaw fell slack, horror plain and evident overshadowing the waterworks. Natasha quickly pieced two and two together but patiently waited for the initial shock to subside before popping a question. "A word of advice, if I may?"

Foxy nodded, dumbfounded, frantically scrambling for the contents of her pockets, searching for something with the agility of a panicking cat, more than half of the contents spilling out onto the ground.

Natasha unlocked the car, popping the trunk and loading in her bags as she raised her voice to be heard over the noise of a busy parking lot. "Don't mess with the paint, the insurance will cover it. Slash three tires - not four - or take a swing at the front bumper and the headlights," the trunk slid shut with a quiet click as the spy inspected the damages close-up. Her Charger looked like it was attacked by a pack of aggressive, feral cats with nails of steel. "And always check the number plates before committing acts of vandalism to make sure you're enacting revenge on the right person." The last part was said with a smirk.

As the spy stepped closer to Foxy, she noted the excessive puffiness of her cheeks and the shaking fingers that held a checkbook and a pen. The woman looked torn between terrified and apologetic, worrying her lip between her teeth. "I'm so, so sorry. Todd just got his new car, it's identical to yours and I didn't get the chance to memorize the number plate yet," the offending man's name was said with a pitiful growl. "How much?" She weakly motioned to the ruined bodywork.

"What'd he do?" Natasha didn't resist her curiousity, leaning against the driver's side door and sizing up the other woman. She was pretty, well-dressed and reasonably wealthy on the first sight. "Yeah, he looked like a Todd," The quip slipped from the redhead's lips as she remembered the man from earlier. Foxy looked way too good to be wasting her time on someone who looked like an adolescent that hadn't outgrown his skater boy phase.

Foxy chuckled shyly at Natasha's remark, smoothing a hand over her face. "Lord, where do I even begin..." The sigh was loud and long. "He lived in my apartment rent-free, made me give up my cat by lying about his allergies, went through nine low-wage jobs in two years, did nothing but play video games in his free time and developed a pot addiction, thus spending all his money on it," she began steadily but her tone grew in pitch with every added offence as Natasha's eyebrows climbed higher and higher. "My last straw was when he took out a loan he couldn't pay off to buy his brand new cool car," the words were spat out with venom. "I threw him out last Saturday. He's been following me around all the time," Foxy continued, growing dark in the face. "And then I found out he had been cheating on me for I don't know how long. I just... I just lost it," she finished pathetically, all but crumbling into a pile of human misery.

Natasha's face had frozen into mute disbelief somewhere around the first half of the story, repulsion and astonishment mixing into a flurry of quiet rage on the random woman's behalf. Menfolk were bizarre animals, and as much as the spy felt herself annoyed by her roommates at the tower, she couldn't help but feel relieved that the men surrounding her were far from douchebags of the casual variety. This Todd, however, was no amateur, and had done Foxy really, really dirty.

The redhead made up her mind rather quickly. "That's a lot to unpack," she carefully studied the micro-expressions on the other woman's face. "I have a couple of nice bottles of wine at my place and nobody to share them with. Care for a glass?"

Foxy's eyes widened once more. "I don't- I don't want to take up your time, I mean, I'm sure you've got more important shit to do, like save the world and y'know..." The stammering was followed by a shy look to the side.

So, Foxy had recognised her. And she didn't go running the other way like most people that encountered her in disadvantageous situations did. "I actually don't, I was just getting my shopping done for a lack of better things to do," Natasha lied seamlessly, motioning to the other side of the car. "Hop in." Mission reports and Barton's pizza date could wait.

The woman made quick way around, buckling into the seat in seconds, right before Natasha peeled off from the parking lot towards the Avengers tower at breathtaking speeds. The car was a gift from Tony - one of the rare things he managed to get right - and an absolute pleasure to drive.

"What's your name?" The redhead asked, juggling the steering and her smartphone effortlessly.

The woman rattled of her first and last name on between attempts to fix her runny make-up and wipe the dried snot and tears off her face. "Foxy is a nickname my gramps gave me, said I used to excessively play with fox pelts in the attic when I was a kid," the woman added with a snort, totally oblivious to Natasha's eyebrow raise as the spy read the information on her in-between overtaking slower cars.

Good student, good family life, stable income and good career growth in a prospective sector. What did Foxy even find in a guy like Todd? The most important information, however, was also most pleasing. No ties to any kind of intelligence gathering organizations.

As Natasha parked and popped the trunk once more, the other woman offered a hand with her shopping bags. Friday acknowledged the newcomer, startling her, causing Natasha to roll her eyes and mention, loudly, that if Tony decided to pay them a surprise visit, he may end up castrated or shot on sight, much to Foxy's bashful snickering.

Once the shopping was put away and the wine opened, the spy let herself curl up on the couch opposite the woman who studied her Spartan style apartment with curios eyes. The lack of knick knacks must've been a surprise for her: Natasha's apartment looked bare compared to what she'd seen in other's people's homes but the desire to make the environment more cozy had never been strong enough to actually act upon it. She wasn't used to staying in a place for very long.

"Do you still want to get back at the bastard?" The redhead asked once the first bottle was coming to an end. The alcohol was sitting low, pleasantly warm in their bellies and the food that they'd ordered in the middle of a casual chit-chat lulled them into a state of comfortable stupor.

"I want to gouge his eyes out and wear them as a battle trophy," Foxy was slightly slurring her words, much more affected by the wine than the stoic, experienced agent. "But I guess I can settle for petty crime or arson."

"I'm sensing you didn't tell me the whole list of grievances," true to her words, the spy felt as it there was a possibility quite a few things were being left unsaid.

Foxy sighed once again, placing the empty glass on the table and using her palm to prop her flushed face against it, blankly staring off into the far end of the room. "I came out as bisexual last year and he was giving me so much shit for it. Todd kept pushing for a threesome and when I refused, started accusing me of cheating during our fights, called me a whore a couple of times," the more she spoke, the higher Natasha's anger levels rose.

Not only was a Todd a dick, he was an abusive one. Truly, the grand prize of Asshat Lottery. "I have an idea or three," the spy twirled the remaining red liquid in her glass before downing it. "But it'll have to stay between us two."

"I'm listening," Foxy turned to meet Natasha's face, eyes considerably more alert than seconds before.

A few days past their amicable wine-and-revenge get-together, Natasha's doorbell rang as if she wasn't already had been made aware by Friday that a visitor was coming up to see her. Boxes of hair bleach and dye laid stacked on the living room table, surrounded by jewelry and assorted accessories. A pitcher of fresh sangria topped the ensemble, two clean glasses placed neatly on the tray next to it.

"Hi, Nat," Foxy's smile was a mile wide - a far cry from the sniffling sad sack of a woman the spy had first met. The nickname flowed freely from the woman's lips, as calm as Natasha's own answering grin and greeting. "I gots the stuff," waving her purse about, the woman kicked off her shoes by the door, approaching Natasha with the same smile that seemed to be more effective at lightening up the room than Tony's expensive designer lamps.

As Natasha's plan achieved a solid state, the two women had quickly come to a realization that Natasha was far too recognizable with her signature red hair and over a flurry of text messages, the decision to switch to a warm caramel blonde was made unanimously. Foxy had rebuked any and all Natasha's attempts to affirm she'd be able to do it herself and the spy gave into the other's chiding, relenting to have her hair dyed by a person who at least had a possibility of seeing the back of her head without having to perform acrobatic tricks.

Foxy was an easygoing, non-problematic person. She was fun to have around, quiet but witty, with intelligent eyes and a realistic view on the world. It was something Natasha valued, alongside the lack of probing questions regarding her past or her job - her insides clenched uncomfortably at the thought of having to lie about those things, or even worse, having to admit to the wrongdoings in her past, however Foxy carefully steered away from topics that were sensitive and never gave Natasha as much as a side-eye if the spy appeared to lack some minor detail that normal women her age all seemed to be aware of.

The curiosity had her ready to burst. Nat's natural defense mechanisms were quite confused, not sure what to make of the woman who almost too friendly to be true, but the kindness in her eyes and the sometimes shy, awestruck looks she gave Natasha when she thought the redhead wasn't looking made up for it in spades.

"What do you think?" The noise of the hair dryer finally ceased, Foxy's voice echoing in Natasha's luxuriously large bathroom.

The newly-blonde spy studied her reflection with a tilt to her head. The ombre was a nice touch - her own hair was naturally darker than the caramel and honey blonde she had chosen, so the almost-brown shading at her roots took much away from the contrast between her lighter hair and darker brows. It was just another disguise for the spy, but somehow, this one felt more like home than any of the previous faces she had worn.

"I like it, you were right about the ombre," Natasha voiced her thoughts, eyes sliding over to the smiling woman behind her, feeling the corners of her mouth begin to creep upwards in involuntary response.

"You looked good with red hair, don't misunderstand me," Foxy briefly raised her hands. "But you have a light complexion and lighter colors do wonders for bringing out the youthfulness. Even if we don't have much joy these days, a good hair color is an opportunity to showcase the bit," she briefly touched her own hair in an exaggerated attempt at driving her point home.

The fun part was done, the time came to execute the revenge. It wasn't exactly anything special; rather, the plan was quite simple - let Todd make a fool out of himself in front of his friends and perhaps (a slightly, teensy possibility) get himself arrested. The two women took their time to get dolled up, not too much - but rather, adding just that little bit to themselves to easily attract moderate amounts of attention from men.

The bar was busy, noisy and full of people when the two women stepped through the door. Natasha's eyes scanned the room out of habit, easily spotting the tall, lanky Todd in the far end of the bar, laughing and boozing with equally pathetic-looking man-children. The urge to gag was almost irresistible.

The spy let herself to be led to the bar by Foxy who looked mildly uncomfortable. Natasha was sure that if she was to touch the other woman's face, it would be flaming under the circumstances. "Try to relax a little, I won't bite," with a quip to her companion, Nat ordered them a vodka cranberry each, sitting down with her back to the men. "Tell me when he notices us and starts moving this way."

Foxy nodded minutely, clutching her drink for dear life and taking generous sips to calm herself down and relax like the spy had requested. They talked about everything and nothing in between, Natasha's hand on Foxy's knee crawling closer to her hip as minutes passed by without interruption. Loud noises of men playing darts and drunkenly cheering reached the womens earshot every now and then, causing Foxy to throw increasingly infuriated glances towards her ex-boyfriend and the Black Widow's current victim of choice.

Sitting opposite the perfectly composed, smiling woman, it was clear as day she was, indeed, best of the best. Despite knowing Foxy for only a few days, Natasha managed to pull off a very convincing girlfriend: her body language was nothing short of absolutely besotted and the googly eyes the spy was making had Foxy constantly remind herself that it was only for show. There was no way this gorgeous, incredible human would be interested in someone as plain and ordinary as herself.

"Heads up," Foxy's smile suddenly grew a mile wide as she stared directly at Natasha, eyes alight with fury at the scene about to unfold. Natasha's reply was to briefly tighten the grasp on the other's leg in silent support.

"Hey, baby," Todd was drunk enough for the stench of his breath to reach both women. "Oh, I see you're with a friend," his attempt at flirting only made Natasha scrunch up her face like a cat that accidentally smelled a lemon.

"Leave me alone," Foxy stated firmly, knowing the phrase wouldn't do anything to deter her overzealous ex, but this time - she counted on it.

"It's okay, I can share," the slurred words had a couple of people nearby raise their eyebrows at the audacity.

"I'm not interested," Foxy snapped. "In fact, there is absolutely nothing your freeloading, cheating ass can bring to my table."

The woman radiated satisfaction as gasps sounded out around them; Todd was a regular at this bar and most people there knew him in one way or another. The moment of joy, however, was brief.

"Listen, bitch, you have no business talking to me like that," full of drunken bravado, the man spat angrily, taking unsteady steps closer to Foxy. "What you need is a decent man that can handle your outbursts, not some dyke..." before he could even utter another offensive syllable, Natasha had his wildly gesturing arm twisted painfully behind his back, easily forcing the inebriated man to his knees.

"Wanna try that again, champ?" Sarcasm flowed freely from the spy's lips as the patrons in the bar gasped. The civilian clothing and the new hair color might have been an effective short-term disguise but once the crowd had seen her neat little party trick and had taken a good look at her face, nobody was doubting her identity. "Call the cops, will you?" She addressed the shocked bartender who immediately scrambled to obey.

"I didn't do anything!" Todd cried out, eyes drunkenly darting between the Black Widow's quiet rage and Foxy's grim stone face.

"Huh, that's weird. Because I clearly heard and saw an attempted hate crime," Natasha's voice attained a sardonic tint. "And I have a bar full of witnesses," the spy shrugged, letting go of his arm but keeping a boot firmly planted on his back to prevent him from escaping. "I hope you have a lawyer."

Foxy snorted, reaching for her unfinished second drink. "Tough luck."

Out of the corner of her eye, she spied Todd's friends inching closer to the exit door second by second, as if they could stand a chance against a professionally trained secret agent. Luckily for them, Natasha wasn't interested in the remainder of Todd's gang of losers and merely raised an eyebrow when the other men reached the door, a tiny smirk appearing when his pleading eyes didn't cause any reaction in his friends, the spineless worms, hopping out of the door without as much as a goodbye to the man laying face-down on the dirty floor.

As soon as the police arrived, awestruck by one of the NYC's most famous superheroes just casually standing in a bar, they eagerly collected the inebriated offender, briskly escorting Todd to the squad car. The bartender and several other patrons confirmed Natasha's words that an attempted hate crime had taken place. Cops were in and out in less than fifteen minutes and the otherwise-pleasant hole-in-the-wall bar returned to its usual evening bustle.

"Celebratory shots?" Natasha laughed as Foxy exhaled, deep and slow, once her racing heart calmed down.

"My treat," the other woman motioned for the bartender and soon, a line of colorful glasses appeared in front of the women. Each downed a glass easily, slamming it back on the table. "Man, this is everything I never knew I needed," Foxy confessed with a shy smile. "Thanks, Nat. You're the best."

The spy responded with a satisfied smile, picking up another glass and holding it out for a toast. "To revenge well-deserved," the glass clicked, alcohol slid easily down their throats. "So, what now?"

Foxy's eyes shone in the bright lights of the bar, relieved and tipsy. The small empty glass twirled easily between her fingers. "Dunno," the shrug came and went. "Maybe go on vacation. To Florida."

Natasha let out a belly laugh, downing her last shot without as much as a stutter in her movements, Foxy's eyes lingering on the stray drops of alcohol running from the spy's plump lips. "A vacation with the crackheads? Romantic," the quip was received with an eyeroll from the other woman.

"Spoilsport," Foxy, too, finished her booze and placed the money and a hefty tip on the bar, tapping twice to get the bartender's attention. "I meant more like - lay on the beach, sip mimosas, look at sexy people in swimsuits..."

"Florida is for old people," Natasha objected, pulling her leather jacket back on and leading them both outside. The evening air was crisp, bringing a clearer head and re-arranging the thoughts back into a more sensible state.

Foxy easily picked up her pace to match Natasha's precise strides leading them in the direction of the former's building. The warm buzz of vodka coupled with the fresh air and her desire for retribution well-fed, Foxy settled into a comfortable silence next to the spy. They reached the building quickly, their pace brisk and distractions lacking.

"Care for a nightcap?" She didn't know what prompted her to blurt out the words; as soon as the words registered in her brain, they were already out and Foxy's face heated, fingers fumbling for the keys in her pocket, Natasha's touch still warm and lingering on the side of her leg.

The spy seemed amused, studying Foxy's nervous habits with a crooked smirk. "Sure," she agreed amicably, following the woman into the apartment building, not missing both the rigidity of her back and the added spring to her step.

A moderately sized, well-decorated apartment revealed itself behind the open door, scarcely illuminated by the NYC lights coming in from a glass wall in the living room, reflecting the vast living space furnished with a large couch.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Natasha turned around, stepping into the other woman's personal space with the grace of a predator. Two shining eyes stared back at her in the darkness, framed by fluttering lashes. Foxy's bottom lip disappeared behind her teeth, skin gleaming with perspiration.

The recently-turned blonde spy wasted no time caging the other woman between her body and the door, chests almost touching. The air around them was charged, Foxy's heart thudding loudly in her chest as she gulped. Natasha studied her expression, "You want this?" she whispered against her lips, sharing the oxygen between them.

"Ye-yeah," a short nod and a gasp later, the women were devouring each other, grasping at their hands and shoulders like they were drowning. Hot and wet and sharp from the booze, the kisses were as graceless as their fingers haste in removing each other's top layers of clothing.

The sharp corner of the living room archway dug painfully into Foxy's back, bringing an additional sense of awareness: this was real. This was happening. Natasha's blonde locks flowed through Foxy's fingers, soft and silky, a contrast to the teeth pulling on her lip in impatient hunger. Foxy grunted in response, parting from the other woman to send her t-shirt flying somewhere in the direction of the kitchen.

"Bedroom," mere minutes in and she already sounded utterly and throughly ruined.

"Couch," Natasha was equally feverish to get to the good parts. Her belt was unbuckled and the nice button-up she'd worn hung open, a plain white bra iriscendent on her alabaster skin.

Letting herself be led to the couch, Foxy could barely take her eyes off the woman in front of her, making sure she wasn't ogling Natasha outright yet secretly hoping to be caught anyway. The blonde was like a porcelain doll, unreal, firm and soft at the same time.

The moment Foxy gracelessly landed on the couch, Natasha was all up in her space, straddling the other woman with the grace of a savage cat; lips once more attached to her flesh, Natasha left a trail of hot, wet marks starting at the jawline and ending at the cups of Foxy's bra.

Not knowing what to do with her hands, Foxy grasped Natasha's hips, unable to hold back a moan heavy with lust as the spy ground down with her hips. It was exhilarating to see the other woman affected by their heavy make-out session; nothing short of absolutely smitten to see Natasha pull back, panting and disheveled, to shed her shirt and her bra.

Unable to resist the urge, Foxy's hands reached out to cup the spy's round breasts, tugging her closer to pop a rosy nipple into her mouth. Natasha shivered, arching into the caress, holding onto the other woman's hair and tugging it in the direction only she knew.

Natasha wasn't loud, she wasn't wild; her moans were more like muted gasps but her body spoke for her louder than any words: the grinding was getting more impatient, Natasha's hold grew stronger. As Foxy fumbled for the button of Nat's pants, she felt the soft, delicate lace underneath. Natasha had come prepared.

"Hold on," the spy mumbled, hopping off Foxy's lap to quickly push her pants and panties down her legs with practiced ease. The other woman followed suit, leaving herself to be bare besides her underwear, the attempt to remove them intercepted by Natasha. "Let me," quiet words tickled the skin of her throat where Nat had immediately attached her mouth.

Foxy scrambled to intake the oxygen she needed, letting herself feel the hot glide fully, having lost herself in pleasure, missing the exact moment Nat's fingertips breached the waistband of her panties. Soft and nimble, so different to a man's roughened skin, the sensation was as strange as it was sweet. The urge to arch and rock her hips against the nearest surface intensified and Foxy could only keen, quiet and high, causing Natasha to chuckle to herself.

"Enjoying yourself, sweet girl?" The miniscule trace of coyness seeped into the blonde's voice. The engorged, puffy, moist flesh of Foxy's lower lips parted eagerly to Natasha's experimental dip.

"Yeah, yes," the woman slid down, spreading her legs in invitation. "Please, touch me," begging to be filled in all the empty spaces, Foxy threw her head to rest against the back of the couch, watching Nat through unfocused eyes.

"Oh, I will," the spy purred, sliding lower to put her face next to Foxy's dripping cunt. The spy's fingers glistened with arousal and she popped them into her mouth, licking them clean before doing the same to her lover's swollen folds. The response was instantaneous and loud, Foxy shook under Natasha's expert teasing. "Stay still," she ordered quietly, patting Foxy's belly.

Molten, honeyed waves of bliss overtook common sense and awareness, tiny sparks shooting up Foxy's cunt every time Natasha suckled at her clit. The spy read her body like an open book, following the movements of her hips with her mouth, always a step ahead and slightly south. Foxy's peak was imminent, approaching rapidly, as Natasha's sweet merciless assault wrung every single drop of the thick, precious liquid out of her cunt.

It only seemed to gush more, the woman pushing her cunt into Natasha's face as the latter doubled down on her efforts to bring her to ecstasy.

The waves began deep in the pit of Foxy's stomach, making her legs tremble, her toes curl and the flutters of her cunt increase in speed and intensity. Silky soft and typhoon wet, her orgasm crashed her mind into million pieces and Nat dutifully extracted everything until the last drop with the skillful touch of her tongue and fingers.

"Tash," Foxy moaned. Her legs quivered at the slightest touch to her oversensitive cunt.

"Mhm," was the blonde's reply, contented humming getting closer and closer until the womens lips met once more in a fierce, passionate kiss.

Foxy's hands immediately sought purchase on Natasha's hips, searching for the spots that would make the spy's body song in the same way she'd done to Foxy; seemingly much more reserved, quiet but happy sighs broke past Nat's lips in response to gentle hands stroking where she was most sensitive.

"I've got a vibe in my bedroom," clarity finally broke through the orgasm haze, Foxy's brain slowly coming back to reality.

"No, I want your fingers," Natasha's reply was assertive as she moved her hips in tandem with Foxy's hand, dripping the sweetness of her around all over.

The urge to pop the fingers into her mouth was strong, so Foxy did just that, moaning at the tangy taste, Natasha's breath quietly stuttering at the sight in front of her.

"I want to eat you out," the words barely had left Foxy's mouth as Natasha flipped them so she was the one laying on the couch, spread-eagled and open for the other woman's eager mouth to explore. Wet, sloppy and so, so tender, Foxy let herself taste the arousal of her lover.

"Yeah," so soft, one could easily miss it, the approval didn't get lost in the headrush nonetheless. With grace, Foxy sought the spots that would force Natasha to break her silence with slow, broad motions until the blonde had no choice but to arch her hips into the sensations, chasing her pleasure, losing the aura of restraint she'd so carefully cultivated.

No time for self-control. The temperatures were climbing steadily with every single movement, both lost in their imperfect shared rhythm, the soft of Foxy's tongue and fingers like finest silks on Natasha's eager cunt. Two fingers slipped in without resistance, immediately seeking out the soft, spongy spot that made the blonde's toes curl and mouth open in a silent scream.

Foxy's free hand groped around for Natasha's ass hastily, bringing her hips closer to her mouth, tongue never ceasing its assault on the blonde's clit as her body grew more rigid, fingertips going white with the force she was gripping the comforter.

"Gospodi bozhe," came the mumble, the only warning before Natasha's powerful thighs locked Foxy in place as the blonde rode out her orgasm, violently shivering, dousing the other woman's face in her sweet release. Dutifully, Foxy stroked the silk of Natasha's skin everywhere she could reach, her hot breath on the blonde's pussy easing her back to Earth through the aftershocks.

Natasha's eyes opened, feeling her lover's look of adoration, and she cracked a reluctant but genuine smile. There was something about Foxy that was just so-

Natasha taglist (open, see fic hat for info; crossed out nicknames are the ones I couldn't tag, please update your info):

@mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @persephonehemingway @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @xoxabs88xox @marvelsbanner @sapphicnoodle69

#bun writes #bun writes: drabbles #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #black widow x female reader #black widow smut #black widow x reader

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nothing-but-dreamy · 3 years ago

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STUBBORN

Pairing: ADAM JENSEN x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 1.733

Warnings: angst; mention of blood; fluff

Synopsis: Adam Jensen got shot and asks you for help but sometimes he is too stubborn because of the wrong reasons.

"Adam, please...", you said softly, reaching out for the stubborn man.

"No!", Adam hissed.

"Just.. just let me see your wounds.", you tried again.

"I said no.", Adam called out and looked at you with a stern expression.

"Well, okay, then, I will leave you alone, you idiot. But next time, if you need help, think twice if you really want to call me. Maybe I won’t be there anymore.", you said angry, asking yourself why he even called you when he acted like this then. You stormed to the front door, grabbing your things, keys, smartphone and jacket while you were raging with anger about this unrelenting man.

Adam watched you walking away. He knew you for more than six months. The two of you had met in the dog park where Adam was with Kubrick before the dog got back to Megan in Washington. Kubrick had toyed around with his old but beloved ball until he kicked the ball with one paw too far away. The dog ran after it and Adam after Kubrick but it was already too late. As Adam reached the dog, the ball had landed in the purse of someone, of you, who were sitting on a bench with a book. You looked bemused at the dog who was burrowing through your bag with his big head to find his ball.

And since then, Adam and you had met for coffee, you two had lunch together and you also could convince Adam to watch a movie in the cinema with you. He was a depressed mess after everything that had happened. Meg and the changes on his body… but you were able to drag him out from his rabbit hole and to let him feel more human again.

Your light friendship, your innocence and golden heart got through his tough demeanor. So, as he got shot earlier that day, the first thought that had struck his mind was you. Several times before, he had caught himself thinking about you. Maybe he already saw you as more than just a friend. But as you were there, in his apartment and as he saw how you looked at him with those big, innocent eyes, worries and fear written all over your face because of his wounds and his whole appearance with all the blood and dirt, he knew that he didn’t want to have you being a part in such a life. With him, you would always be worried…

The moment you reached the door, Adam snapped back to reality and grunted because of pain as he stepped forward slowly. He knew he had to make a fast decision or you would be gone forever because you stuck to your words, "Wait.", he whispered, pleadingly. For a second he feared it was too low but he could see how your hand stopped in the air over the doorknob, staying where you were to wait.

"I need your help.", Adam whispered a bit louder.

Hearing his weak voice caused you to turn around to meet his gaze, finally. You could tell that Adam was in pain. His breath was strained, his chest was moving unevenly and you were sure to see some beads of sweat on his forehead. Without another thought, you hurried back to him and that right on time. As you reached Adam he collapsed into your arms. You struggled with his weight but you were able to place him on his bed properly, "Hey, Adam, can you hear me? Adam?", you asked, kneeling in front of him with a concerned expression. With your hands on his face, you forced him to look at you.

Weakly, he opened his eyes and managed to meet your concerned glance with a soft smile, "I am fine.", he whispered low.

"Liar.", you said smiling. You were relieved to see that he was still awake, "What was the matter in the first place anyway to send me away after you had called me for help?", you asked to keep him awake.

Adam chuckled low and shook his head, "I... I realized that I don't want you to see me like this.", he admitted.

"Like what? Hurt?", you asked confused.

"Weak.", he whispered.

You looked surprised at him but you just shook your head about his ego and kept your mouth shut. The last thing that came to your mind when you were thinking about Adam Jensen was weakness. From the beginning, you were impressed by his presence. This tall, dark haired and mysterious man was for you the epitome of authority and strength. As he had called you for help, you were surprised that he trusted you this much. Mostly, as you saw that the help was because of two bullet wounds in his right shoulder, "Okay, come on, you have to help me a bit with this coat.", you commanded and Adam moved willingly.

He let you undress him piece by piece until there was just the black, well-fitting t-shirt left. Hesitantly, you grabbed some scissors to cut the fabric open because with the gunshots, Adam couldn’t undress it properly. You were happy that Adam couldn't see you or otherwise he would have seen your reddening cheeks.

Adam winced as you brushed across the wounds accidentally and you flinched quickly before you continued. As his upper body was naked, you let your eyes roam over his several augmentations. Most prominent were the shoulders and arms. He had told you about them, maybe to scare you or to see your rejection but it didn’t work this way. You were curious and now, where you had the sight in front of you, you were even more impressed. You were one of the few people who had no problems with augmentations and the people who would use them. You also saw those people still as human beings with a soul and not as cyborgs like others did. The next ten minutes, you were busy cleaning and examining the wounds, "Alright, I have one good and one bad news."

"One bullet is still in there, right?", Adam asked, panting for breath.

"Y-yeah.", you admitted, knowing what this meant.

"Then get it out.", Adam said quietly and already snatched a bottle of Whiskey from a spot next to his bed. He looked at the bottle, that was one important thing he didn’t want you to know: his coping mechanisms. His weaknesses. But now was not the right time for such thoughts. He knew it would be painful. Therefore he took a big gulp of the golden liquid and swallowed it slowly.

You stared at him in shock, "I- I can't.”, you breathed, “Adam, this will hurt a lot. You need to go to a hospital. I am not a doctor. I am just a vet."

"Just do it. I trust you. I can handle the pain, don’t worry.", Adam said serious after the next huge sip of alcohol.

You tried again to deny it but Adam just waited and you knew that you had to move quickly to get the bullet out. It was still possible that the projectile could move around and cause even more damage.

Ten minutes later, Adam, you and the bed were a mess. You got the bullet between your bloody fingers and you were sure, just for a split second, Adam had been passed out. You cleaned everything and patched him up.

As you walked from the bathroom back into the bedroom, Adam sat there on the rim of the bed, looking at you with a soft smile. He was totally exhausted but he was also smiling, "Thank you.", he said low, still breathing with some problems.

"Always, Adam. You just have to ask. Forget what I have said earlier. I was just angry. I’m always there if you need me.", you promised him.

"I guess you are the only friend I have left.", Adam said low and watched you with a mixed expression.

You stared him straight in the eyes and for a short moment you were brave enough to say what was on your mind, "Just a-", you stopped yourself as the courage left you again, "Nevermind. You need to rest. I will come tomorrow to see after you."

You were about to leave but Adam stood up and stopped you with his hand softly on your shoulder, "What was it you wanted to say?"

"I…,” you paused, something in his eyes told you to continue as if he was just waiting for a sign from you, “I don't want to be just a friend for you, Adam.", you said while avoiding his eyes. You couldn’t look into them in fear to see denial. The pause he created left you feeling humiliated and so, you just wanted to leave.

But Adam held you back once again, "YN, I... my life's a mess. Look at me. I am a mess. You deserve someone better. Someone who is easier to handle than I am. You deserve a normal man.", this time, Adam needed a moment to look you in the eyes. He was afraid of what he could see. The worst thing would be if you would even agree with him in the end.

"I don't want any other man. In my eyes, you are perfect.", you whispered and looked straight into his eyes to underline the meaning of your words and your seriousness.

"You really think that about me?", Adam whispered insecurely but with a small smile. Hope was kindled in him.

"Yes. I always did.", you answered truthfully with a nod while Adam watched you with a stern, unreadable expression. You began to feel uncomfortable under his intense glance but before you could say anything, he brought you closer with one arm around your waist and tangled the fingers of his other hand carefully with your hair.

He paused and looked into your eyes but then, he just kissed you slowly and passionately without a second thought. All doubts were gone. He had made his decision. You melted against Adam and snaked your arms carefully around his middle to bring him closer. The kiss became even stronger until both of you were panting for air. While Adam rested his forehead against your, you were just standing there in the middle of his apartment, smiling softly at each other while thick droplets of rain were drumming against the windows.

#adam jensen #deus ex mankind divided #deus ex human revolution #deus ex #deus ex fanfiction #male reader #female reader #gender neutral fanfic #gender neutral reader

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journalofmassdestruction · 1 year ago

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Let me just quote the article for the curious (you can click on the link if you want to see its entirety):

1. Walk in a nearby quiet area, “hopefully somewhere in nature or outdoors,” says Guerra. It’s also best to pick a time when you know there will be minimal people or activity around that area to distract you. 2. Take care of basic bodily needs, such as thirst and hunger, beforehand, “so they don’t become a distraction,” offers Guerra. Make sure it’s just you and your thoughts. “No phone, no walking buddy, no dog,” says Guerra. 3. Focus on your feelings, breathing and the surrounding beauty. “Be mindful of each breath and each step, listen to the sounds of nature around you, feel gratitude for the sun kissing your skin, and use the time for reflection,” advises Delia. If you're not able to walk far or don't have access to nature, know that “you can do a silent walk anywhere,” Darnley says. “For those of us who live in cities, you can still engage in a silent walk — your environment doesn’t necessarily need to be silent, but you do.”

So I guess it is like mindfulness during normal walking, but then there's no... specific mindfulness routine either, so it is not actually anything new or even remotely helpful to people who want to learn a new method of meditation/mindfulness. In my personal opinion, this is just normal walking with a fancy name. Kind of sad lol

I also looked into who started the TikTok trend, and this article attributed it to @madymaio on the platform (can't help you to look into the video though cause Tiktok is banned in Hong Kong, ha). The article didn't mention any actual routine, so I don't imagine there's anything more concrete to the trend.

The "inventor" did say, however, that:

“It [walking without headphones] will be super anxiety-inducing in the beginning, but I promise things will settle and start to flow after 5 mins,”

And I honestly think this whole new trend stemmed from people being chronically online and unable to unplug, so much so that being away from their phone/other media gives them anxiety. Which... I guess good for them that they're going on walks? But all in all it's just, this is nothing new.

The article Forbes posted regarding this trend was very on point:

...In other words, what about doing what people had been doing for thousands of years before smartphones, social media and the world of 24-7 distractions arrived? Wow, what a concept. Well, this centuries-old trend has actually become a new TikTok trend. It’s even got a new name—“silent walking”—because everything on TikTok has to have a catchy name, right?

-----

As a side note, the "god forbid women do anything" reblog... like are you even serious? At what point was gender specified in the discussion? Have we not established that people of any gender can do absolutely braindead things?

And really I am pretty sure most women in the world have been walking without headphones since like, forever because it's just plain dangerous to not be aware of what's around you when you're outside, so making this sound like a big discovery that's never done before just sounds extra dumb.

I have no context for this and I don't want any

#lia speaks #online trends

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thevirgodoll · 4 years ago

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I've been married for 3 years now - this man-child has physically, emotionally + financially abused me. He allows me to "buy whatever I want" but I don't. I know he'll complain later. I also realized while being in this relationship that I may be a heteroromantic bisexual... so for me the relationship is really difficult. I keep the peace so he doesn't retaliate. I'm scared to leave 😟 and anxious he'll retaliate and mention my sexuality to my Caribbean family..

This is really serious to me so I will keep this straightforward...

1. You are going to need to understand how dire this is.

You cannot keep living like this. I’m sure you know this. We need to create a plan. You are going to have to let go of your suspicions involving your sexuality. Your safety is way more important right now, and if you work ahead of him, you can remain safe and unbothered by his tactics.

->A friend that he doesn’t know where they live is best or a family member that you can trust with the details of the violent relationship.

-> If you simply decide you want to go to a domestic violence shelter or women’s refuge, you do not have to give identifying information about yourself, even if asked.

-> You’re going to need to develop a support system over time for when you decide to leave. Your family and friends should care more about your safety. This way you can outsmart him and he will not smear campaign you.

-> Avoid the middle of the night because it will make it worse. You’re going to have to be acting seemingly normal when you leave. Have a plan.

2. Take everything with you. Your license, social security card, birth certificate. You have to get your documents together. Credit cards, debit cards, money. Change of clothes, etcetera.

-> Take the essentials. I mean this. If you’re going to get out it needs to be the essentials only, and your other items such as jewelry etc you can send to loved ones

-> You may need to buy a cheap prepaid phone that he cannot contact you on... with a spare sim card

-> Send any clothes you cannot take with you to your friend and disguise it as a donation. Begin sending things to friends over time if that is your plan.

3. Begin speaking with an attorney...

-> If something goes wrong, notify the police of your ongoing situation. Don’t file stuff until you’re safe...

-> Work should be notified as well.

4. Be aware at all times.

-> You have to stop trusting him. You have to outsmart him.

-> Once you do successfully get out, he may go on a smear campaign involving your sexuality if he knows this detail, your reputation, anything to distract you and keep you vulnerable and going back. Do not listen to it. You have to be 10 steps ahead of him.

-> Do not use computers in your home........be smart enough to delete history or use computers somewhere else. Use a computer at work, the library, your local community center, a domestic violence shelter or agency, or borrow a smartphone from a friend.

When you’re safe and gone:

-> By the time you leave, your social media should be changed, passwords, users and all. If he still knows to find you...temporarily deactivate if he is going to go straight to your account. You can begin new accounts later...so please don’t worry about this.

-> Block anyone who is friends with the both of you and won’t believe you. They are irrelevant. Block them and do not contact or they will give you away.

-> Block his number...do not cave. This is crucial as people do not listen. Please do not undo all of your hard work.

Money and Emergency:

-> Change paypal passwords, venmo passwords, banking passwords. Open banking with a new email account that is online. HIDE YOUR CARD!!!!! Try the sole of your shoe, but since you’ve been living with him I am sure you know how to hide items.

-> Don’t download the app on your phone.

-> Cancel your old bank accounts and credit cards, especially if you shared them with your abuser. When you open new accounts, be sure to use a different bank

-> Know the abuser red flags...know what sets him off.

-> Have your plan rehearsed and have your support system set up long before you leave. Ask all trusted individuals if you can contact them if you need a ride, a place to stay, or call the police. You have to have this ahead of time!!!!!

-> If you have your car make sure it has gas and it’s facing the exit/ready to go...unless you’re leaving with someone else.

-> Your abuser could have tracking devices on your car or anywhere in the house. Leave them until you’re literally ready to leave

-> At a new location , use a post office box rather than your home address

This all seems far fetched right now but you can do this. Now is the time to put yourself first. Waiting until you have the motivation or strength will make you stay there forever and you will never leave. You have everything inside that you need. I promise you you can do this.

#answered #advice #save

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vole-mon-amour · 5 years ago

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OTP tag game.

Tagged by @captainjowl. You know for sure than I'm struggling to pick only 10 & fit them in here. But hell, that’s fun, thank you <3

Rules: Choose 10 OTPs BEFORE reading the questions, and then get to answering

1) Harry James Potter & Sirius Orion Black

2) Daniel Le Domas & Grace (Ready or Not 2019)

3) Samuel & Nathan Drake (Uncharted 4)

4) Corvo Attano & The Outsider (+probably Emily Kaldwin; Dishonored series)

5) Steve Grant Rogers & Bucky Buchanan Barnes (Marvel)

6) Tony Edward Stark & Peter Benjamin Parker (Marvel)

7) Handsome Jack & Rhys (Borderlands video game series)

8) Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (TVD Books & a tv show)

9) Batman & Joker (in every universe, really)

10) Adam Jensen x Francis Pritchard (Deus Ex video game series)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I believe it didn't hit me before Spider-Man: Homecoming. Civil War was about Steve & Bucky for me, but when I saw that growing up Peter with Tony, their dynamic, chemistry. Tom & Robert are really just like that.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Lmao. I've read like 50% of the tag on AO3, I wrote my own & started a few wips on them. They are amazing. Plus, with that shitty canon? We didn't get enough of them & they deserved better, so it's only logical to save yourself with fanfiction.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

I was living with The Outsider icon on my twitter & tumblr. That one is still my Google profile picture I believe. Don't remember about having an icon with the two of them. Also had The Outsider as my lockscreen on my smartphone for a while.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Funny how it fits canon, lmao. Rhys literally tried to erase Jack's AI in TFTBL, so I guess another day on Pandora, nothing new. They torture each other, they kiss each other, they kill other people in the process. It'll be fiiine.

5. Why is 1 so important?

I love them since the first time I met them, which was much more than 10 years ago, I don't even remember when. At some point they were the reason I was waking up & forcing myself to eat just to read more fanfiction & feel something. Even if I was drowning in pain (I was extremely depressed), it was still something. I read every fic I could find at that time. The depression that Harry went through, all these feelings, his love for Sirius. I was living through it, I could relate.

I'm currently drowning in these two again, though in a much healthier & happier state. I see their flaws & I know as much as I can. I see them differently as an adult. They saved me, they keep being my number one, I still consider making a tattoo of Padfoot/Sirius or of both Harry & Sirius together. I have many headcanons, ideas, I write fics about them. They are everything, you see? They were my choice when there was nothing, no one. They are HOME.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Both. There goes the dynamic of Jack & Rhys: torture, fighting, flirting, a lot of trauma. I'd definitely say that they are wild and comical sometimes, but they are definitely serious. With the Asylum, the mental health issues. There is so much more to it, the complexity of their relationship. The struggle of loving who you probably shouldn't (but hey, when does it work like that?) Thinking about Tettlate's Batman, about Batman: Europa & how Joker was: "You must be crazy, putting me in charge of the plan, letting me decide. Okay, well..."

Nah, they are entertaining, but this is a serious ship.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Are you kidding me? They are all the definition of CHEMISTRY. I'd say 5, but then go 2, 6, 7, 8. Come on. I'm not choosing. Most of they are WILD.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

The fandom itself? Idk. I found one of my favourite artists through this fandom. If it's about the characters themselves, I played the first game with the DLC from start to beginning, looking around every corner. Spent more than 60 hours in there. Watched a second game (my laptop can't run the game) and the DLC (obviously), since Francis is in the DLC & not in the main game. I have a tag for them on tumblr, I read fanfiction, I tried to write my own. I still follow Elias & want a third game. Elias liked my tweets about Adam and Jensen being an actual couple a few times. I'd say I interacted with all of this a lot? Still do, actually.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

5. Best friends since childhood, fought & died for each other, still found their way back to each other. "It would break your Captain's heart, to see what they did to you." That only the MENTION of Steve can pull Bucky out of this brain washing(ed?) state, distract him in the middle of a fight. When Steve died in the comics because of Sharon & Tony sent Natasha to take Steve's shield from Bucky because even Tony knew how much Steve means to Bucky. And Bucky was like: "Oh, I see what he did. Not happening!" Fought Natasha (that is his ex in the comics) & kept going for Steve's sake.

Well, you see the point, I can go on and on.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

They're not actually canon so none? They had a few fights: In Civil war (the comics), in Homecoming (the movie). That only means that they’ve got history & love each other.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

As fierce Grace is, they wouldn't stand a chance against Damon & Elena. Those two had to deal with worst thing than brainless stupid zombies. On the other hand, if there were no alive humans to drink their blood... It's either an animal diet that Damon hates so much or I don't know? Still, they're faster & more powerful. Their bodies have advantage of healing the wounds as well.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

From some people, yeah. Don't tell Athena, don't tell Vaughn, don't tell Fiona. Though Rhys wasn't very subtle about it & Jack just doesn't give a fuck. You will probably end up dead if you disagree or bore him, or if you're useless.

"I can take you to the top, but you gotta know where the top is" & Rhys doesn't tell anybody until Jack makes him the President for like whole 20 minutes lol.

Fiona & Sasha: "This can't be happening." Sure it can, darling.

14. Is 4 still together?

I have a headcanon about The Outsider finding Emily & Corvo after Billie frees him from the Void. He doesn't have anybody & they are his only friends aside from a potential friendship with Billie. And if we don't consider TOTO dlc, they definitely are! The Outsider visits them both when they sleep & takes them to the void sometimes. How could he not?

15. Is 10 canon?

Not really but also sort of? Let's say that they really care about each other in canon, despite Adam pushing Francis away because of his trauma & fear that Megan caused him. :/

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Can you imagine wizards fighting extremely powerful vampires? Superheroes with venom in their bodies that make them super strong with people that made a deal with the Devil himself (hi Le Bail)? 5000 y.o. God and his lover that share his powers and an augmented human protecting his tired IT guy? Combine mental health issues to that, Jack and Rhys with Batman and Joker. Corvo & The Outsider would probably slay them all as Corvo and Emily did in both games with entire islands, though it will still be a slaughter anyway.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

All the fucking time, lmaooo. I’m not even talking about it.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

I feel like I already did with Steve & Bucky after many Marvel movies (we're not even mentioning Endg*me, I fucking died & was dead for full 4-5 months).

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I used to do that a few years back, but not anymore. There is not much content since the trilogy is finished.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

1 already went through it & fandom lives, so I'd say maybe 7? Rhys will find a way to bring Jack back & they are both so wild. It’s what happened in canon anyway. Jack kidnapped Lilith & forced her to do Angel's job, so I'd like to see that witch try at first. Jack is an immortal bastard. <3

Now that I think about it, Corvo would also deal with her in seconds as she waits to curse them.

As a conclusion: no one breaks up forever, we're killing the witch.

I tag: @ianmillkovichgallagher & @aledbr

Whoever else wants to join the game, please do.

#otp #me #tumblr #harry x sirius #delena #corvosider #rhack #tony x peter #batjokes #jensard #steve x bucky #ready or not #drakecest

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