#not to be confused with my other harpies from my other setting. or my OTHER harpies from my other setting

[ranticore]

eh i might as well just post em here. Sirenian humans for ya. ftr i never got round to doing this for selkies or the other guys

the individual drawings for these are.. not the best and the text formatting and typos are woeful but i have a lot of fondness for them (especially the hopper harpies, they're my favourites) and the reason i made this blog was originally to talk more about them in a more relaxed space

there's also... this attempt at describing the naming conventions of the most populated settlement

one thing i really wanted to avoid with these guys was the notion of culture being tied to what type of person you are (physically i mean). it's very rare that a settlement is limited to only one type of human. culture is instead related to settlements and geographical regions (can u tell I hate the common trope of Monolithic Fantasy Race Culture). because the humans who originally settled on siren spoke english, all of the languages spoken by modern sirenians are derived from english (and this is how scholars can back-translate ancient records about ishmael et al). some people with very specific adaptations (like hoppers) might be concentrated in the area that best fits their morphology but there are no exclusive groups based on body type.

the modern sirenians do not believe they are (or were, originally) aliens on siren, they do not know about earth, they know nothing at all aside from the fact that there were once Precursors who've left some technology behind.

the main story is about our guy Qedivar travelling from the spire to the old Precursor ruins to do some research, and on the way he hires Huarva as a tugboat and Terwy as an astronavigator. They have each lied to the other about some fundamental aspect of themselves of course so there's drama but eventually Qedivar gets home and publishes a preliminary report on what he found there (which is the record of Ishmael's life). Conservative factions immediately decry it as heresy and call for Qedivar to be killed, so he has to go into hiding and publish under a pseudonym.

[elliyoyo]

Adverse Effects (Gale Dekarios/Reader)

Hello hello, long time no see. With over 700 hours on BG3, I figured it was about time I cracked my knuckles and got to work delivering the goods. Hope you enjoy and just a reminder: Requests are open!

Desc: You give Gale a magical ring but don't check it's magical properties first. He ends up hot and bothered, and it's on you, good leader.

Warnings: Smut, p in v, oral (m receiving), sex pollen, and a good ol' creampie

Words: ~2.5k

“My condition is worsening again, I need to consume some powerful magic, or it may become volatile,” Gale begs, nearly collapsing against the tree trunk behind him as he missteps behind you and the rest of the group. If not for you stopping, Astarion and Lae’zel would’ve kept trekking along, but you weren’t just going to leave your poor resident wizard behind after all he had done. He clutches at his chest, heaving as he expectantly looks at your pack for an item to extinguish the enchanted flames building inside of him.

“Here, Gale, use this.” You offer a ring you dug out from the pile of jangling jewelry collecting at the bottom of your bag. The pink stone seemed to glint and shift colors as it was plucked out of your fingers, but you paid it no mind.

He examines it for a moment but has no problem rasping out a “thank you” before pressing it to his chest and letting himself absorb its magical energy. One moment, he’s engulfed in a purple, violent flame, and the next he breathes a sigh of relief, sans ring. His desperate breathing slows and his pain seems to be minimized, however, he is still looking off into the hills, dazed as all Hells.

“Doing alright now? How was that one; still helping less and less as we go?”

He solemnly nods, the relief of the magic already fading away from him. He collects himself for a moment, turning into the dull full-body aching that was a new, not-quite-unwelcome side effect… Better than having no bodily sensation at all in the grave, eh?

“This one was off… different… But I should be alright. Thank you very much, again.”

Should be alright was far from the truth, as you would find throughout the day. Missed attacks, too many close calls to be comfortable with, and just general Gale mishaps that were worthy of genuine concern. One specific battle called it— every single spell missed its target, or had a payoff so low that it would’ve been laughable in some other scenario. After narrowly avoiding death for almost 8 hours straight, you’d had enough and it was time to make sure this was the end of it.

“Okay, I’m beaten, and I bet you guys are too, so how’d you feel about heading back to camp for the night?”

“Yes! Gods, Heavens, Hells, yes, my bedroll is calling my name like a harpy,” Astarion proclaims, throwing his arms in the air dramatically. Lae’zel seems to agree in her own more contained, Githyanki way, pressing her lips together with a subdued nod. And Gale, standing there still-dazed, could only nod and turn in the direction of camp. Your eyes met his for only a moment, but in that moment, you saw a half-lidded wildfire going on, yet you couldn’t help telling yourself he must just be tired as all Hells as well.

So, as you make the trip back to settle in for the night, you can’t help the confusion that hits you when you catch him rubbing and adjusting his waistband. Can’t help but be intrigued by the little faces and noises he makes as he does it. Seems like that ring you gave him had some adverse effects…

Interesting.

Astarion had scurried off to his set up, Lae’zel immediately went to work on maintaining her sword, and Gale took off inside of his tent at mach speed. No grabbing a book, no sly joke, nothing, just bolted out of sight. You take a moment to say hello to and check in with everyone else around camp, but Gale stays prominent in your mind. As you realize nobody else is around to see you flocking to his tent, you clear your throat to let him know you’re there.

“Are you alright in there? Is it the tadpole, or do y—”

“What did I previously say about privacy? I just— ah— don’t feel well at the moment, I’m a little out of my element,” Gale stutters out between gasps and breaths through his teeth. You keep your eyes fixated on the telescope in the front, waiting to see if he continues, but he falls silent.

“Out of your element how? Something you ate, overexertion, magic-related…?”

“Magic-related. For sure. But alas, I’m a wizard! Made of magic! Perfectly capable of handling it, so you should just get some sleep. Forget about my ailment for the night, and it should be dealt with by the time we have to depart in the morn.”

“No, Gale, I’m sorry, but I’m coming in— make yourself decent,” you joke as you walk in, not expecting him to be gripping his cock tight as could be. You gasp, trying to find something, anything, else to look at, but all you keep coming back to is his rubbed-red and raw, weeping head. “Gods, wha— are you alright? What is going on?”

“That ring is happening. It was enchanted, obviously, but differently than we initially thought.” He’s so casual about it that he doesn’t even seem phased, continuing to slowly caress his shaft. “I, uh, I apologize, it’s like I’m charmed, aroused by nothing in particular, it’s strange…”

“Is there anything I can do? Is there a…” You trail off, clearing your throat and turning to look at the moon above you. “Uh, anyway I can help?”

“Without your mouth? Unlikely.”

And he goes beet red, cursing his jabber jaw, his blabber mouth, his fatal flaw of not being able to just shut the fuck up. Clearing his throat, stammering as he pushed out a rushed, “I’m so sorry, you should go. I should stop, this should stop— I didn’t mean to offend, I’m so— Oh gods!”

Without any hesitation at the offer, happy to help a friend in need, and very happy that said friend happened to be Gale, you’re closing the makeshift tent’s door and dropping to your knees in front of him. Even with him lying down, you can still wrap your hand around him and give him a few firm tugs.

“I can do a lot with my mouth, but I can still work some magic without it if you will.” There’s a devilish glint in your eyes as you continue tightly jerking him off, his eyes and mouth wide open in shock and insane pleasure. He’s unable to will any words to escape him, save for the moans, groans, and grunts that involuntarily slip from his sweet lips.

“Is this—” He’s broken off by a whine as your finger grazes over his tip. “The ring? The enchantment?”

“No, no, I don’t feel off, I just… want you. I desire you. I’ve thought of this— maybe not like this exactly— but I never thought… I would ever have a chance.”

“Well, here I am, at your disposal, so please, please.” His eyes flit between your lips and himself, wishing, waiting, hoping, praying to feel the warm, beautiful wetness of your mouth around him. And as if you read his mind, you happily oblige, leaning down under his hiked-up robe to wrap your lips around his head and gently suck. His head flies back in ecstasy, fingers gripping the blanket beneath him to keep himself from tearing your hair out or pushing your head down to make you choke on his cock, as much as he’d love to feel the sensation of the latter.

Small rhythmic bursts of sucking turn into licking him down to his base, tracing a vein or two on your way down, which then turns into lazily dragging your tongue over his balls while your hand makes up for the lack of attention higher up.

“Can I… touch you? Please?” He gives a tug on your shirt. And who are you to say no to Mr. Wonderful, Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep? You pull your nighttime shirt over your head slowly, exposing your bare chest to the chilly evening air. 

“Are we… both okay with this? Are we on the same page here? Is this okay with you?” You can’t help but rapid-fire questions at him now that the thought of him being under the ring’s influence has intruded your mind. He shifts his hand to your face, letting his index finger gently rest against your lips.

“This is not just the ring. I… have harbored some feelings to do with you for quite a while now. It’s all just pouring out at once now, but I’ve never been more sure of anything else in my life, I can tell you that.” That was all that you needed. That confirmation that he wanted to know what it felt like to sink inside of you as much as you wanted to know what it felt like to have him fill you nearly to the brim.

“Then come here,” you whisper, just barely audible enough that he follows your instructions. His lips crash against yours in a deep kiss, his fingers knotting into your hair to keep you as close to his overheated body as possible. He is desperate, teeth gnashing against yours and capturing your bottom lip at points, saliva mixing and temperatures rising. 

“I don’t know who or what enchanted those rings as such, but I must acquire several more if this is the result; me being at your will… needing,” he pants out, still holding your foreheads together.

“Let’s get through this first, then we’ll see about finding some more aphrodisiac trinkets. Tell me more about your growing need, my dear evocationist?” You lazily slip your leg over his waist and begin grinding yourself down against his exposed length. The pressure combined with the texture of your pants’ fabric puts him in pure ecstasy, obvious by the small whines that leave him and the way his teeth catch his bottom lip in a pathetic attempt to hide them.

“My need for you— it hurts, it burns in my core,” he pushes out like a plea for help. His eyes are glossy, his body vibrating with arousal, pleasure, shock, disbelief… and pure attraction.

“And is that right there good, Gale?”

“Gods, yes, don’t stop unless I get to be inside of you,” he groans, bracing himself against the ground to grind his hips in time with yours just a bit harder, further, more any way that he can.

“Ask and you shall receive.” You push yourself off of him, pulling your slacks and undergarments down to the ground. There’s a moment of low, shallow breathing, where both of your eyes dilate as you simply take in the sight of each other. Pleasuring yourselves, more for the other than yourself, and drinking in the expression on the other’s face. The point was to tease him and see how long he could sit in anticipation, but you find yourself getting impatient enough to forget all of that and pounce on him.

You take hold of him by the base and carefully guide him inside of you. It’s impossible to put the fullness you feel into words, it’s all-consuming, and it sends shivers and shakes through your entire body. In sinking down on him, you feel as if you’d been reunited with your girthier other half— complete. A wonderful pressure begins to bubble up in your abdomen as you begin moving, evident to him by the way your nails dig into his shoulders. His hands have found their place on your hips, and in no time, they’re gripping you half-to-death. He’s using his tight grasp to slam you back down onto him, meeting you in the middle. The symphony of skin against skin was sure to be keeping quite a few of your companions up, but it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission in this scenario. His mouth finds its way to your chest, gently taking a nipple between his teeth and grazing his skillful tongue over it.

His lips make a soft pop as they unlatch from you, and all he can do in this moment of boiling hot lust is prop himself up on his elbows and watch you in all your glory. He gazes up at you with that same half-lidded gaze you saw on him earlier, except there’s a bit of boyish wonder. He’s not just perceiving you, but admiring you. One hand eventually trails its way up your leg to your waist, and he begins to help you come back down on him harder, faster— his twitching legs and quick breaths gave away that he was already getting close from the change in pace.

“Gods, Gale, you’re so good,” you groan as you lean forward, forcing him to sit up a bit to support your head as you rest it on his shoulder. This just gives him more of a chance to fuck up into you like a wild animal, chasing more of your moans and his climax. “Fuck! Gale, please!”

“I love this, I love you, I love the feeling of you, I love it!” His voice goes up and up and up until his high pitched breathy ramble is cut off with one last loud groan. Now it’s your time to admire; eyes screwed shut, forehead scrunched up as his mouth lays open wide. With the show you were getting and the feeling of him filling you with warmth, you were helpless against the waves of your own orgasm crashing into you. You two take a moment, nothing but the sounds of your gasps for air between you, limbs still intertwined and sweat still mingling.

“If all I have to do is ask for this, what do I get if I really beg?” Blabbermouth, indeed. You pull his chin up to give him a sloppy kiss, continuing to hold his face as you pull yourself off of him, making a mess of him as his cum drips out of you.

“Save it for next time, I’ll think of a few things we can try down the road,” you joke with a small chuckle as you allow yourself to fall on your back and reach for your clothing. “How’s everything feeling with, uh… the ring?”

“Yes, yes, that was very beneficial. It was like my body was held in lava, until I felt your touch.” He gazes at the mess you two have made, but makes no moves just yet. He pushes his hand through his hair and takes a deep breath, beginning to fall into a daze admiring you as you dress. “Are you going?”

You pause. Are you going? Should you stay? Would that make the journey awkward? What did this mean for you and Gale, that you had slept together to help him out after the being influenced by some magical ring? There was nothing there besides the ring?

Gods damn it all.

“No, no, I just... I used a cloth that was lying around to wipe myself off, it was instinct to get dressed afterwards.” You avoid the question, hoping to take his mind off of your quick separation from him instead of any pillow talk. You fold the cloth you used and hand it over to him, looking away while he cleans himself up as if you didn’t just ride him into next week. “Any way you could conjure a second pillow?”

“Anything you wish, so long as you join me tonight.”

And you do. And many nights after.

[xoxochb]

⋆·˚ ༘ * where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me

warnings: literally none, this is tooth-rotting fluff

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of demeter

summary: the three times luke knew he was in love with you and the one time he told you

1. your beautiful eyes stare right into my eyes

trying to pretend your best friend (aka your crush) wasn’t staring at you was almost impossible. it was even more difficult when he was sitting directly next to you, and you couldn’t help the pink hue making its way to your cheeks

you thought he wouldn’t notice because the sun had set and the only lights were the moon and the fire in front of you

but he did.

“what’re you thinking about?” luke asks, nudging your shoulder with his own

“nothing, just watching the stars” you quickly pull you gaze down from the sky to the boy beside you

“are you in love with them?” he teases

“shut up” you laugh

“well why are you blushing? do you have a crush?” he pokes your cheeks, but you slap his hand away

“I’m not blushing, it’s just hot” you make up an excuse

“it’s cold outside” he stated

“I have a sweatshirt on, einstein” you roll your eyes

“then why are you still wearing it?” he inquired, giving you a confused look

“It smells like you, I like it” you bite your bottom lip

and know it’s lukes turn to blush

“are you in love?” you joked

but he knew the answer to it. the real answer, he was in love, so so deep, and he wanted to tell you since the first day your gaze met his but he didn’t want to risk a perfect friendship, so he stayed silent, hoping one day you would realize how much he truly loved you

“possibly”

2. so make the friendship bracelets

you had spent the past hour trying to make this bracelet perfect. you wanted to make it for luke for no specific reason, at first you were doing it because you were bored, but as more time passed you thought you should make it for someone else

and who’s better to make it for than your best friend?

“hey flower, what’re you up to? I haven’t seen you all day”

speaking of

he takes a seat beside you on the grass

“I’ve been busy” you say, not taking your eyes off the bracelet as you finish tying it up

“did you eat today? you weren’t at breakfast” he questions

“no, skipped. wanted to make a bracelet,” you take his arm and slid the bracelet around his wrist, “for you”

you look up at him only to find him already looking at you with the most lovestruck expression ever, and you blush madly at this

“It’s beautiful” he whispers, not once looking down at the bracelet

and oh gods you could have passed out right there

and as for luke, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, no matter how hard he tried (which wasn’t very hard, he wishes he could stare at you for the rest of eternity) his eyes were permanently glued to yours

3. I’m sinking, our fingers entwined

counselor duties had been called off for the day and you thanked the gods for that, these kids are absolutely exhausting

you walk over to the nearest tree and lean against it for a moment, taking a moment to breath

“hey stranger”

oh that voice

“hi luke” you beam

“what’re you doing here? you don’t want the harpies to get you, do you?” he teases

“you’re out here too” you point out

he shrugs, “c’mon I’ll walk you back to your cabin”

he holds out his hand for you and you take it without hesitation.

It’s so warm is the first thing you think. it’s comforting, and you wish his hand could always be intertwined with yours

and of course, luke thinks the same. he could die happy if his last moments were spent holding your hand.

the walk back to your cabin was silent, but not awkward, you both enjoyed just being in each other’s presences, even if that mean you weren’t talking

this was enough

“here we are” he remarked

“yep… I’ll see you in the morning?” you ask

“always” luke smiles and gives you that same lovesick expression he always does

and you can’t fight the large grin making its way to your face, “goodnight luke” you whisper

“goodnight flower”

and he doesn’t untangle his fingers from yours until he’s to far from you to touch them

4. the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me

you weren’t the biggest fan of capture the flag, but you knew it always made luke happy when you did

so you played

the majority of the game you sat and watched, looking out for anyone on the opposing team until you heard horns, signaling that the game was over

you quickly sit up, running to wear you hear cheers, hoping it’s from your team

and it is.

you reach the crowd, eyes meeting the chocolate brown ones you loved

you reach luke, swiftly throwing your arms around his neck, and he wastes no time in dropping the flag, putting his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer

“I’m proud of you” you say pulling away, arms still around each other

luke is wishes he knew where this confidence came from, but seeing you so close to him, a large smile on your face, and the same lovesick expression he always gives you in your eyes this time, he can’t wait any longer

“I’m in love with you” he blurts out

your eyes widen at those words, and you stay like that for a moment, but you knew this, didn’t you? you always saw it in his eyes

and you pull him in for a sweet, long-awaited kiss

it was as perfect as you imagined, the kiss, the boy, the moment, everything

[nockstormbringer]

Of Darkness & Lightning || Jason Grace

Synopsis → Jason Grace in a relationship with a child of Nyx.

Warnings → Almost drowning, reader lowkey being a stalker, mention of Zeus and Hera. Yes, they are their own warning.

A/n → My friend is sitting next to me and requesting that I write cars having sex. He read that and gave a thumbs up. Also, this is a request, but they had four prompts so this is like prompt one.

Word Count → 1357

↳ I can imagine you two meeting while he's at Camp Half Blood, after he's just gotten back from his quest with Leo and Piper. 

↳ He’s heading back to Cabin 1, ready for another night of sleeping on the window ledge, the only place in the cabin in which the statue couldn’t stare at him.

↳ When he walks past one of the newer cabins, he spots its singular resident sitting on the porch, messing around with something he couldn't see.

↳ He shrugs it off but keeps walking, looking out for the harpies as it was getting close to the curfew.

↳ Soon enough, he notices the same demigod sitting swinging on the Aphrodite porch swing, a book in hand.

↳ He slows his pace, taking in the view before speeding his walk up and attempting to ignore the figure hanging out where they probably shouldn't be and logically shouldn’t be at.

↳ He passes the Poseidon cabin, approaching his own, when the same person from the previous weird incidences walks down his porch, past him and shoulder checks him.

↳ He's confused. That shouldn't be possible. He can’t have seen the same person three times…

↳ Was it a set of triplets messing with him? Was Hera messing with his mind again, and making him see things not actually there?

↳ He ignores it for the night, too tired to question much else as he walks into his cabin.

↳ For whatever reason, his instincts are telling him to be wary of the figure. Why? That part, he doesn’t get.

↳ After several more incidents like this, he somewhat figures out what's going on, after having asked around a bit. 

↳ He catches you off guard one day, while you're swimming alone.

“Do you happen to be stalking me because of who our parents are?”

↳ Is what he wanted to ask, but a ball flying at his head knocks him off the deck and into the water, scaring you at the sudden splash right behind you.

↳ Bro can’t not get a head injury for a week.

↳ He isn't knocked unconscious, just ends up with a headache, but that doesn't change the sudden shock of him suddenly being in the infirmary, still drenched with water.

“How did we get here?”

↳ He's sputtering, water dripping down his face as he sits up properly.

“You still haven't figured that part out? Thought you were Zeus’ pride and joy or whatever.”

↳ Ensues long ass conversation of what the whole purpose of you basically stalking him was.

↳ Thinks it's one of the weirder conversations he’s had.

↳ But this leads to a very odd friendship between you two.

↳ As friends, you both work well together, training with each other on occasion.

↳ He doesn’t like using his powers on you, seeing as its lightning and that shit can kill people, but you constantly use yours against him. Sneaking up behind him, suddenly disappearing when you two are talking. Just general shadow travel to mess with the boy.

↳ I bet once during training, you disappeared in the shadows while he was swinging his sword, reappeared behind him and kicked him in the back of the legs.

↳ His brain basically froze, he did NOT know how to react to that. No one’s ever done that to him so it was a first.

↳ He thinks the way you use your powers while training is super interesting.

↳ After a certain point, he constantly feels warm around you. He doesn’t feel like he needs to try around you, like he doesn’t have to be the Demigod son of Zeus or Hera's champion. Just Jason.

↳ On several occasions, you’ve joined Jason when he’s hanging out with the Lost Trio. Leos’ quite flirty, though backs off when he sees Jason glowering from where he stands (which is right next to you).

↳ Piper clocks in and IMMEDIATELY knows that he’s caught feelings.

↳ She decides to help out, by cornering him and integrating him. Truthfully, he hadn’t actually been fully aware of his feelings. He knew something was going on, he just hadn’t figured it would be romantic feelings.

↳ Piper, in a very kind gesture, sets you two up on a date. 3 times.

↳ Jason’s hopeless.

↳ During the 3rd date, which by this point, you’ve figured it all out pretty much (with a few pointers from Piper), and you just mess with him.

↳ Grabbing his hand, and intertwining your fingers, messing with his hair, kissing his hands and cheeks, referring to him as your boyfriend when you guys go to the camp store.

↳ Just generally bullying him. For fun of course.<3

↳ When he walks you back to your cabin after the date, he tries to give you a kiss, but you stop him.

“I don’t kiss people who I’m not dating. With that said, I really do want to kiss you.”

↳ I fear you may only be so confident because you know he likes you.

“Can I be your boyfriend then?”

↳ He’s trying so hard to play cool, but his heart is hammering out of his chest and he fears you can hear it too.

↳ Anyway, y’all have a kissy and now you’re dating. :33

↳ Oh my god, finally that took forever.

↳ I feel like you make him nervous, not the same way Nyx scares Zeus, but in a sense, similarly.

↳ At a constant, his heart beats rapidly, he stumbles over his words, he bounces his leg, he fidgets.

↳ He definitely rubs circles into your hand when you hold hands. He might be nervous but he still wants to be a source of comfort.

↳ Super protective, like, bros a watchdog.

↳ You both get scary dog privileges from each other. Like, people fear both you and Jason, although for somewhat different reasons. Jason, as he is a Roman demigod and is the son of Zeus, and you are the demigod kid of Nyx, the only one who truly scared the king of gods.

↳ Jason’s big on communication, constantly asking your opinion of what he should do that day, like maybe practicing his archery, his arts n’ crafts skills, or skip all the activities and sneak off with you.

↳ A lot of your guys’ dates consist of walking along the perimeter of camp, helping Leo with his ship and forcing him and Piper to 3rd wheel, as wheel as sneaking away from camp and doing normal teenage things on occasion, you’ll drag the rest of the Lost Trio, which isn’t the worse thing cause they amuse you.

↳ He prefers sleeping in your cabin, as it's nowhere near as disturbing as the statue of his father constantly staring at him and he's not as lonely, seeing as he shares the cabin with you, and your half siblings.

↳ When cuddling, he likes holding you against him, whether your back,side or chest is pressed against him, he hugs you close, which in turn keeps you warm and feeling secure.

↳ Jason wakes up before you, as his natural clock is permanently set before the average human is awake and thus watches you sleep. Sometimes, he traces your features with a finger, pushing the hair away from your face and lightly kisses you from your nose, to your shoulders, to the top of your hair.

↳ Neither of you ever have money except for drachmas, but that doesn’t work as a currency in the mortal world, so instead of buying flowers or anything for you, he hand picks flowers (with help from the Demeter kids) and makes you stuff during Arts n’ Crafts.

↳ He’s made some stuff like a “Jar of Words of Affirmation,” a scrapbook of things the two have done over the period of your relationship and just general things about the two of you, and many origami roses.

↳ Origami roses are so cool, I love them. I always make them for valentines day cause I never have money to buy things for people.

↳ I digress though, but Jason always protects you in combat, just as much as he would anyone else, but if he could have it his way, he’d fight all of your battles.

↳ Jason overall is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend, with how he loves you and shows you he loves you. <3

[sirfrogsworth]

The number of items you qualify for determines which circle of Hell you will end up in.

Here is a handy guide to see who you will be partying with in The Inferno.

First Circle: Limbo or "Heaven Lite."

Were you a decent person but forgot to get baptized? Welcome to Meh-ven. Not quite as good as Heaven, but you still get to live in a neat castle.

Second Circle: Lust or "Too horny for Heaven."

This circle is for those who banged their way through life. You are punished by being blown violently back and forth by strong winds, preventing you from finding peace and rest.

So, basically Chicago.

Third Circle: Gluttony or "You should have ordered a salad instead of that Bloomin' Onion."

I'm pretty sure this is the fat shaming Hell. You are overseen by a giant worm monster named Cerberus and placed into a large slushie machine. You must lie in frozen slush for eternity thinking about all of those hot dog eating contests you won.

Fourth Circle: Greed or "What? I gave $20 to the Red Cross every year!"

You are overseen by Pluto, the dog of Mickey Mouse. Or maybe the demoted dwarf planet. I honestly did not do enough research to be sure. Circle 4 is divided into people who spent too much and people who hoarded too much. They must push giant boulders at each other in a game of eternal rock jousting.

Fifth Circle: Anger or...

The angry must join a fight club and brawl each other atop the River Styx.

The grumpy must gurgle beneath the pugilists--submerged forever in that same river.

Sixth Circle: Heresy or "Ya know, I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the Sun. Hey, why is this priest placing me in shackles? It's just science, bro!"

Did you go against the Church? Well, for that they just straight up set you on fire. Not the most creative damnation, but I'm sure all of the flaming souls look neat from a spectator's point of view.

Seventh Circle: Violence or "Apparently, these things are all the same amount of bad... murder, suicide, and booty sex."

This circle is divided into three other circles. Which means there are 12 total circles. Which is confusing, but whatever.

In sub-circle 7a, you have the murderers. They are submerged in a river of blood that is also on fire.

Is blood flammable? Did Dante even try to set blood on fire before writing this? I'm thinking, no. YOU ARE TESTING MY SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF, DANTE.

In sub-circle 7b, you have people who have taken their own life. These folks are turned into shrubbery. Once in your final shrub form, this handsome harpy gal slowly eats you for eternity.

In sub-circle 7c, you have all of the anal fornicators. If you ever stuck it in a butt or had it stuck in your butt, you get to spend your afterlife in a desert of burning sand. And it is raining. So it is one of those rare rainy deserts I guess. Oh, but the rain is on fire.

WHY ARE SO MANY NON-FLAMMABLE THINGS ON FIRE, DANTE?

Eighth Circle: Fraud or "Is fraud really worse than murder?"

I'm going to be straight with you.

The eighth circle is a hot mess.

I'm pretty sure Dante was getting tired of creating new circles for every bad person, so he made a catchall for the villains that didn't quite fit into the previous circles and sub-circles. Instead of creating 10 sub-circles for the 8th circle, he decided to just throw everyone into their own hell ditch. These ditches are called Bolgias.

And now a Top Ten List from the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska.

Top ten types of people stuck in an eternal Bolgia ditch in the 8th circle of hell.

10. Falsifiers such as counterfeiters and wellness gurus. 9. Divisive individuals such as Fox News pundits and Chris Pratt. 8. Advisors such as self help authors and life coaches. 7. Thieves such as whoever created overdraft fees. 6. Hypocrites such as rich Pro-Lifers who have paid for several abortions for their mistresses. 5. Corrupt politicians such as (the list exceeded this post's maximum word count). 4. Wizards!

3. People who purchase pardons like pretty much anyone associated with Donald Trump. 2. Flatterers such as pick up artists and old ladies who tell me I am handsome in the grocery store. 1. Seducers such as people who have cake and want sex and are like, "Would you like some tasty cake in exchange for sex?"

Look, seduction is in the eye of the beholder and all I'm saying is cake would probably work on me.

Circle Nine: Treachery or "You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!"

Okay, so the 9th circle has 4 rounds.

Which sound an awful lot like circles.

Which brings us to 16 circles in the 9 circles of Hell.

I'm wondering if Dante named the book before he wrote it and everything was done with permanent ink so he couldn't change it.

The 9th circle has 4 frozen circles rounds, each dedicated to notorious traitors. Like a tribute to their epic level of sinfulness.

First up you have the Cain round. He was the first person to ever have a little brother and no one told him you can't just kill the little shit. People in the Cain round are encased up to the base of the neck, so they can still look around and stuff.

The second round is dedicated to Antenor. He was a Trojan. In reality, he negotiated peace with the Greeks. In myth, he opened the city gates and let the Greeks in so they could murder everyone. He was spared because he painted his house with panther blood.

"Panther Blood... 60% of the time it works *every* time." --Antenor

People here are encased to the top of the neck, so they are looking one direction forever.

Coming in round three we have Ptolemy. He didn't care much for his father-in-law, Simon Maccabaeus. So he invited Simon and his sons to a fancy banquet and Red Wedding'd the shit out of them. Ptolemy rounders are encased face-up in the ice just below eye level. That way, whenever they cry for being damned, their tears will freeze over. Over time those frozen tears create an ice visor that takes away the ability to weep ever again. And I'm guessing everything is real blurry too.

Round four is dedicated to the most infamous betrayer of all time. That's right, my favorite character in JC Superstar... Judas Iscariot.

Judas rounders are completely encased in ice. Permanently frozen and immobile with their bodies in every conceivable distorted and twisted position. Chances are, they have too much Heaven on their minds.

And in the very center of the nine-ish 16 circles of Hell, you have Satan himself. The fallen angel, Lucifer.

The story, as I like to imagine it, goes like this...

Lucifer was shooting the shit with the other angels and was all, "I could probably take God, right? He's not so tough."

And since a utopian existence is actually pretty boring and without drama, the other angels responded, "Absolutely! You've been working out and look totally jacked. You got this, dude." All while trying to hold in their laughter.

ANGEL PRANKS!

Lucifer then challenges God and gets instantly Thanos snap'd into a frozen lake. Lucifer sulks for all eternity wondering why those other angels told him he could whip God's metaphorical noncorporeal ass.

Satan is depicted as a hideous three-headed beast frozen up to his waist. He has six bat-like wings that flap and create a chilling breeze that keeps the ice frozen. Literally a hell of his own making. In each of Lucifer's mouths is a famous traitor being forever gnawed. History's most famous collective stabbers, Brutus and Cassius are being chewed in the left and right heads. And Judas is stuck in the viscous center maw while getting the world's worst backscratch from Satan's claws.

But wait, it gets racist!

Each devil head is a different color... Red for Europeans. Yellow for Asians. And black for Africans.

Dante, you little shit.

Alright folks, it is time to add up your totals. Which circle or sub-circle of Hell are you going to party in for eternity?

I'll do mine.

I am slightly homo for Chris Evans when he uses his biceps to curl a helicopter. I want him to hug me because I think he probably smells nice.

I do consider myself a feminist because I watched too many woke Disney films and I was indoctrinated by public schools.

I once ran out of RAM because I had too many tabs open in Chrome. I'm not sure if that qualifies me as a "porn freak" but I'm going to count it.

I smoked pot twice. The first time it made me feel like my head was full of bees and then I passed out for 12 hours. The second time I only inhaled once... and my head filled with bees and I passed out for 12 hours. Counting it.

When I was 18 my church's youth counselor matter-of-factly stated that my best friend was going to Hell. I thought, "That's silly, he's just a theater nerd who wore a floofy shirt and a Phantom of the Opera cape to school on multiple occasions. He's harmless and religion is dumb." So a big check for atheist.

I idolize my bestie Katrina because she is very good a puns. Is that worthy of idolization? Probably not. But I stand by it regardless.

And as far as masturbation goes... again, I ran out of RAM for having too many tabs open in Chrome.

I think I qualify for the seventh circle of Hell. I think I am going to engage in some mild thuggery so I can hang out in 7b as a nice shrub getting eaten by a harpy.

I realize there are only 12 options and 16 possible circles. So I have decided you may use a yoga pants multiplier.

1x if they are too tight but you went through tremendous effort to put them on so you are just going with it. 1x if they were acquired from an MLM mom on Facebook. 1x if they make that booty pop. 1x if they contain a pattern with as many non-complimentary colors as possible.

Welp. I put way too much effort into this.

I guess I'll see you all in Hell!

[jakkon-and-rose-topic]

Cw: Harsh Language (Cws are relatively Mundane today)

Phenik shifted nervously. "Is there anything I should keep in mind to greet the last two?"

Finn scoffed. "Only that there's no way to get on Jakkon's good side unless you're his family. Rose is nice, she'll talk with you anytime, but it's him you got to worry about."

"He can... be a little mean." Silas shrugged.

Phenik paused. "Wait, I didn't recognize it yesterday when you told me their names, but you mean Jakkon? Like Jakkon Erwhyn?"

Finn flinched. "Yes..."

Phenik stared at the harpy open-mouthed. "THE COUNCILMAN?!"

"Former, but yes. Don't bring it up. He's a little touchy on the topic.

Phenik nodded and shrank back. clutching the cup of tea in both hands as the door squeaked open, and Rose stepped into the room, "Good morning! Warning Finn, If you know what's good for you, you'll keep your mouth shut.

Finn frowned, "What?"

"You know what I mean." Rose sat down and smiled. "Hello, you're Phenik, right? I'm Rose, it's good to meet you!"

"It's good to meet you too!" Phenik grinned as Rose took the plate that was handed to her.

But a few minutes later, the door creaked again, and Jakkon stepped into the room. Though he wasn't the same powerful presence Phenik remembered him to be.

This Jakkon didn't care to hold himself with any formality, instead of standing tall like he usually did, his shoulders slumped, and his eyes met the ground, now shadowed and bloodshot from countless sleepless nights. He looked much different, Horns too long and chipped, beard and hair untrimmed and wild, too many new scars crossing his face and arms.

He scowled, and Phenik shrank further down to avoid being seen just a minute longer, wondering if he now spoke just as careless as he looked. But before he had a chance to, Morena smiled and raised a hand. "Good morning. I made tea as a thank you for last night's dinner! Would you like some?"

The Satyr's glare softened a touch, and he nodded once. "Please."

Morena pushed a cup of tea toward him, and he sat on the other side of Rose, "Thank you."

"I hope you like it, I added strawberries, sugar, and mint to it for you." Morena smiled.

Jakkon took a breath, set the cup down, and he folded his hands. "Again, thank you for your kindness."

Morena bowed her head to him and stood. "You're very welcome, my friend." And with that, she left.

Jakkon crossed his legs, holding the tea in one hand as he pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead and stood.

"Jakkon."

"Hm." The Satyr turned halfway, and Phenik was about to confirm that he was just as formal as usual until Finn spoke again.

"We've got a new member."

"I noticed."

"Aren't you going to acknowledge him?"

"Ooh!" Jakkon's face seemed to light up before Phenik recognized it as sarcasm. He scowled. "Goodie! You know what? Fuck you Finn. No, I wasn't, but now I suppose I am." He set his gaze dead on Phenik and forced a very uncomfortable-looking smile.

"Jakkon." Rose looked up, warning in her tone.

"Fuckin' hell. Fine. Hey, new kid. They told you my name, Don't call me anything other than that. Don't question my habits or my language. Stay the fuck out of my way, and we might get along."

"Uh... okay..." Phenik shrank back as far as he could.

"Huh. I finally think I see what my father saw in me."

"What?" Phenik narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"A Fucking dissapointment."

Masterpost (Other scenes like this - Where it comes from)

@aalinaaaaaa @aestheic-writer18 @ajgrey9647 @thelazywitchphotographer @darkandstormydolls @kia-is-poisoned

[vixen525noms]

Defying Certain Death Part 19

Dual posted to my DeviantArt account, a non-sexual G/T vore story featuring adults along the lines of the lion and the thorn fable. There will be tons of hurt/comfort aspects, lots of safe vore. That is the primary focus in this.

Barrett is an adult giant standing 85ft tall and Hope is an adult human at 5ft 6. Barrett does not eat children at any point.

Warnings: Unwilling Prey; Fatal Mention; Characters in Distress

Future and Previous: While this part is relatively tame, future and previous parts include fatal vore and violence. Barrett, the giant, is not a good guy, so will be doing some occasional bad things.

Editor: @vore-scientist

Picture   First | Previous

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Upon leaving town, Barrett paused to look around, flicking up the tertiary eyelid to check for signs of life. Good. No other syor or their minions had noticed Hope and followed. No partner harpies scouting the area. He tensed his stomach, the motions of regurgitation becoming more familiar. It was still annoying to release a human. But for Hope it was worth it. He felt her on his tongue again after bringing her up. While the weight in his stomach had been nice while he had been back in the syor town, he had missed seeing her and missed her scent. Back to the uncomfortable woods, away from his fine house… for her sake. He would eventually have to find a more permanent solution.

Meanwhile he plucked her from his mouth, using a cloth to wipe her off a bit. A fresh one he had retrieved from his house, softer and cleaner, and with a nicer pattern than the handkerchief he had been using before. Laying it over her shoulders to protect from any chilling breezes. “There we are little one. Couldn’t have you out while other syor were around… but now I can show you some of my treasure! Not all of it of course, couldn’t carry it all, but if I’m going to get you fancy things, I needed some more funds.” 

He watched her pull the cloth around her shoulders like a blanket. Why was that so cute to watch? Is this what syorians feel towards humans? Why they don’t have humans as meals? He hoped he didn’t start feeling like this towards more than Hope. Food could be hard to come by! He couldn’t be picky when hunting!

He closed his eyes. Best not to think about it. He looked at Hope again, reaching into his bag with his spare hand and pulling out a beautiful blue sapphire. “Here! Look at this one! Sapphires are at the center of the king’s crown, you know, so obviously they are the best. This one is very clear, no blemishes.” He cocked his head… she wasn’t looking at the sapphire he put by her at all! Why didn’t she focus on the gem? He heard her muttering something. His ear twitched as he tried to understand… something about her dad… and the thieves? What was she talking about them for, they were dead and gone…

Humans were very confusing. “Hope… this gem is very special to my collection… So you should look at it… because you are a special human. Don’t think about things dead and gone. I will show you pretty things and you can look at them and be happy.” He decided to try the next item, setting an emerald ring next to her. “I actually made this one. You can see it’s a little rough, was my first time making jewelry. Took several retries to get it how I wanted. Perhaps if I learn the spell to get small, I can make jewelry for you.” Barrett was disappointed she wasn’t reacting much, but tried a few more times before just starting back towards camp, he could try again later. Maybe she needed to calm down because she knew how dangerous a syor town could be.

When he tried to interact with her the next day it wasn’t better. If anything it was worse. He set her down to watch her make breakfast but  she didn’t put the same effort in as usual. It was not for lack of supplies, her food cart was full, so that did not make sense. He didn’t know anything about the weird way humans and syorians prepared food, but he definitely had grown to understand the amount of time and care she put into the task. She’d also used the supplies to make other things that didn’t use food in them. Seeing her eating stuff straight from the cart was… odd. She had plenty of time to sleep while in his belly, so she shouldn’t be tired, right? So he just watched her, waiting until she seemed done to try to show her the sapphire again. He frowned when she cringed from his reaching hand. Why was she like that? He had told the truth like any proper syor should and she had been unharmed! It didn’t make sense to him. 

The next couple days Hope showed no improvement, in fact she got worse.. At first he was pleased that she no longer cringed away from his hands, until he realized it was due to failing strength. Every day she grew more quiet. Every day she ate less and less. Only occasionally did she prepare even a small fire to cook with. Now that he was paying more attention he noticed a few more bizarre things: she had more moisture on her clothing, even though she was not very active, and was resting under a tree. And her scent… it was different. just slightly off… saltier perhaps? And the scent itself was stronger than it normally was. He didn’t like it. He wanted her to smell like she did before, and talk to him like she did before.

He thought about what happened before her behavior got worse. He had enjoyed having her in his belly, where no other Syor could harm her or even taunt her... but he did not like how she was acting now. He did not like that she cowered like when he first got free of the rocks, and now he did not like that she wasn’t… She had been starting to talk to him again! And now he did not like that she wasn’t.... He did not like this... but he did not know how to get his Hope back to how she was when he was trapped and she was saving him.

Taking her to the tailor to get fine clothing hadn’t improved her mood the first time, nor did trying to show gems, jewelry, and precious metals this time. Nothing he tried worked and it frustrated him. New fancy things always made him happy! He lay on the cot in the tent he had bought, his little human under his hand on his chest. At least she seemed to enjoy laying on his chest as long as he didn't disturb her much. He thought back to when he was trapped. She had been collecting plants… she had seemed happy when he was watching her before she saw him. She had been taking something off the top of the plant, but he didn’t understand what or why. 

Again he wondered if she might be a terran, rather than an average human. Of course she was above average, she was special.  Terrans were like humans, only born with a magical affinity for one element. Like the geomancers who set the trap. But Hope was not a geomancer or she would have used earth  magic to free him. Perhaps she had an affinity for water, or plants.  Or perhaps she was an average human and was using spells. With spells, non-terrans could still learn magic, just like giants could even though all giants had in-born magic. Anyone could learn magic if they wanted. His kind… did not usually want to do so.  “Hope? Are you a terran? If you are, you haven’t used your magic lately or I would have smelled you are terran… but you were after plants when I found you…” He paused, waiting for an answer. But got none.

He moved his hand and lifted her up to look at her. Usually even scared she answered direct questions… She was acting odd. He sniffed at her, holding her close to his face and squinting to focus better. She seemed a little pale. She felt warmer and was shivering… Was she sick? Was it his fault? Her clothes were wet again… this wasn’t right! “Hope? What is going on? Why are you wet and shivering? Why is your scent odd?” He got no answer… but she touched her throat and shook her head. “You… something with your neck?”

Barrett was confused and upset. He didn’t know enough about humans to understand what might be wrong. But he understood enough to know something definitely is wrong. He tried to think… he had been sick before and his whole body ached and shivered and his eyes, especially his tertiary eyelid, would pound in his skull. Did humans get sick the same that syor and syorian did? They didn't have a special eyelid, but besides that… would they feel the same? And would the same treatments help?

Barrett stroked Hope’s hair. Now that he wasn’t trying to get her to talk and was just holding and looking at her, she just lay down in his palm. She looked tired even though she hadn’t been doing much. Even though she had seemed unhappy after the trip to the syor town, she wasn’t trying to avoid him. He saw she was shivering and cupped his other hand over her to provide warmth. He would have to go to the syorian town. They spent time around small folk. They would know more about humans like Hope.

Barrett reached the town quickly, growling more than usual at anyone who even looked at him wrong. He needed to think. He knew the man at the fruit stand was talented in healing magic, but wasn’t a trained physician. He needed an actual doctor this time. He paused. Snarled at someone who came too close as he clutched his precious human to his chest. He would need to ask for help. But he didn’t want anyone besides a doctor near what his problem was and nobody was going to want to talk to him while he was acting like this… he would have to be insistent.. He walked over to a herbalist’s stand, shoving aside a customer who seemed to be finishing a purchase. Just a worthless naga. Lucky they weren’t out in the woods… a mid sized naga like this one would be a few days of meat. He started talking to the herbalist to get information about a local small folk doctor, moving the hand covering Hope as he gestured while speaking. He first had to convince the lady he hadn’t done anything to Hope he just needed to know where a doctor who treats small folk is. Then Hope’s weight vanished from his hand.

A roar erupted from him as he slashed his claws through the tail of the naga that had stolen her.  His claws easily sliced through the scales and flesh, even scratching at the bone. Miraculously the naga did not drop Hope as she jerked back, “Take it easy! You said you needed a doctor!” That’s when Barrett finally took in the fact that this naga he had previously shoved aside was wearing the telltale light blue jacket with the medical rune on it that doctors wore. Barrett frowned, “Oh… sorry… but you just… took her. I thought someone stole her…” The naga sighed, “I was stopping by here to get more ingredients for treatments… heard how frantic you were.” Her tail twitched as with one deft hand she did… something… to slow the bleeding. . “You owe me a wound salve, very expensive, and I need to have my nurse heal me properly before I actually work on this human.”

The naga set the girl back on Barrett’s hand, “I am far too injured to slither now so you will carry me,” the doctor insisted. Barrett frowned, but did not object. The naga was much smaller than him, but also a fair bit bigger than Hope. Stood maybe 20ft tall? Easy for a giant to carry. Barrett used his free hand to pick up the naga, letting it’s tail droop over his arm. The naga gave directions to the clinic, actually not far from the herb stand and an alchemist. Barrett used his back to push the door open, then walked over to the counter where a syorian nurse was making notes. The nurse arched a brow at the sight of claw marks on the doctor before stepping around to pick up the doctor and heal her. 

The lady doctor spoke to the male nurse about what happened, the nurse stealing a surprised glance at Barrett upon hearing that he, a syor, wanted the human treated. “How unusual. Syor aren’t usually so defensive over the few minions that are kept…” Barrett gave a snarl, “Hope is no minion! She is precious, special.” The nurse looked even more shocked, “That… I haven’t heard a syor speak of a human like that… but Doctor Lenora is very good at what she does.” Barrett was starting to calm at the reassurance of this doctor’s skill. He held out his hand with hope and the nurse sighed, “Take her to the room over there. Normally we take them to the small folk rooms, but she is in poor shape so please take her to the giant room instead. The doctor will be in to see you once I have taken care of her injuries.” Barrett frowned briefly before heading into the room. His ears perked as he overheard the conversation in the other room. The doctor was complaining about needing healing and to wash up blood. Barrett almost laughed when he heard the nurse reply, “-Your own damn fault. You could see how possessive he is and you know better than to take something from a syor. Honestly, I’m surprised you aren’t closer to dead than alive.”

Exactly, Barrett silently agreed, dumb naga’s own fault she got clawed. 

After a few minutes, the doctor entered from a side door sized perfectly for her. “Good morning. I am Dr Lenora McCoy. Seems you have a new patient for me.” Barrett was tense at the doctor’s presence, so calm after he had just attacked her, even if the wounds were now partially healed and bandaged up. He nodded. “Hope isn’t speaking to me. She smells odd, stronger and seems to be shivering,” Barrett explained as he lowered his hand for the doctor to examine Hope. He growled as he noticed the doctor moving Hope into a different position and putting something to her ear. “What are you doing to my Hope? Be careful with her.” McCoy paused, “My job. At the moment checking her temperature. The illness seems to be hitting her far harder than it should… Has she been under abnormal stress? That can weaken the immune system…” Barrett frowned and looked away as he thought. Had she handled the trip to town worse than he thought? “I… had to visit my house. In a syor town. I suspect knowing where we were was hard on her even if she was safe in my belly.” He noticed the doctor arch a brow, but stayed silent as she continued to examine Hope.

Barrett watched closely, occasionally growling at how the naga interacted with Hope, but trying to keep his possessive instinct under control. The naga had coaxed her to sit up, and was currently looking in her mouth. Barrett wasn’t sure why Hope’s mouth needed to be looked at. Everything the doctor did seemed pointless or unimportant. It took pressing her for answers several times before she caught on, and she started to explain everything she was doing. And yet his nerves were still on end. He tried to explain. Many times. Didn’t she understand how hard it was? He was allowing someone, a stranger, another predator, to interact with his precious Hope while she was vulnerable. His own predatory instincts were heightened just being near injured prey, and occasionally that prey’s injured tail was still twitching. He could not be distracted. 

Barrett’s ears perked again as the naga spoke softly to Hope, and a deep growl left his throat as he slammed his claws into the table next to her. “Did I hear you asking her about leaving me? Do you want to end up dead? Right now you are taking care of my Hope but if you take her from me I won’t hesitate. I will bite off your tail before devouring the rest of you, and I won't care if it gets me banished from town” The doctor tensed, “It’s my job to make sure she is safe and well. Normally with a syor is not safe.” 

“No, that is my job!” Barrett snarled. Then he went quiet as he considered, “I see… you are trying to protect her. Like I do. So this is an exception. She is mine to protect.” 

Dr McCoy seemed uncertain for a moment but nodded, “Alright… based on my examinations she likely has a bad upper respiratory infection.” Seeing Barrett's blank but accepting expression she continued, “Her illness has weakened her and caused damage to her throat. She needs soup and other soft things to eat until she recovers. But she is not well enough to cook for herself. It looks like she did mix some sort of medicine to help with it, but the alchemist next door can provide something a bit better since she doesn’t have the strength to brew her own concoctions.” 

The doctor considered for a moment, “You clearly want to help her, make her well again, right?” Barrett hesitated a moment with naga staring expectantly at him but nodded, “Yes. She is special. I want her well again.” He cocked his head, watching McCoy rub her forehead, “And I assume you will not tolerate leaving her with us?” Barrett growled at even the mere suggestion of it. “My point made,” she said a bit more sternly, “Hope needs rest, hydration, and nutrition more than anything. Medicines from the alchemist will help, but without rest and food she will get worse. I will write out what to get from the alchemist, and since you will refuse to leave her in our care, providing her with said care, including specialized meals, will be up to you.”

Barrett nodded with only a hint of reluctance. “I will ensure she recovers,” he said with more conviction. 

 “Glad you understand. Since my nurse is the same size as you he will explain how a giant your size cares for a sick human,” McCoy said, writing out what needed to be gotten from the alchemist next door. “These potions… they should help ease her symptoms a fair bit. My nurse will have suggestions on how you can care for her.” The naga held out the paper with the large writing to Barrett. Barrett took it, glancing it over and then reaching to pick up Hope. 

Barrett was not happy the doctor still seemed so unsure he could properly care for his Hope, so he decided to prove his point about how she was his to take care of. He made sure he was gentle as he scooped her up into his palm, “Don’t worry Hope. I’ll get you better. Even if I have to learn that weird way you make your food. I’ll figure out what to do.” He looked up at the doctor again, “Thank you.” 

He first reached for coins to pay the doctor, but paused when an idea struck him. The coins fell back between his fingers into the treasure purse and brushed against his gems. He knew by touch alone each and every gemstone. Barrett didn’t like giving up a gem… but with how important this was to him, how important Hope was to him… if the illness got worse it could have cost her life. He pinched his fingers around a small ruby and with minimal hesitation, placed it on the counter. The doctor immediately understood the gesture, and thanked him. He felt… warm from hearing the thanks. An odd feeling. He stared at the ruby a moment longer as the doctor picked it up, then turned around to go speak to the nurse. Parting with a gem was never easy.

But for Hope, it was worth it.

The nurse started by instructing him on heating water and adding premixed packets to boiling water. An especially tricky thing for a giant to do with such small volumes. And it needed to cool before giving it to Hope or it could hurt her. At first the nurse recommended utilizing a shrinking charm. Shrinking to small folk size would make it much easier, but Barrett hated the idea of shrinking down. Felt too vulnerable to be small. Un-syor-like. The nurse understood and instead was able to point him to purchase some tools that syorian used to work with smaller objects. She also suggested that instead of mixing the foods himself, he could go to the cafe or bakery to get soup for Hope. They would have jars of soup. Just warm up a little and it would be ready to eat. Of course that meant being in more syorian places, full of little tasty humans.

But for Hope, it was worth it.

The medicine would be equally hard to interact with. The doses would be impossible for him to prepare without shrinking. But the nurse informed him the alchemist could pre-mix that as well. So when Barrett went to the alchemist with the list of medicines, he requested that. The bottles were so small. He couldn’t read them but when he showed them to Hope she appeared pleased, so he assumed it was correct. The alchemist indicated a single bottle with all the doses would be one coin, but the time to divide them into smaller portions meant the single dose bottles cost more. A few coins for the medicine. Syor rarely needed medicine, but buying the single doses was almost what he spent on medicine for himself once!

But for Hope, it was worth it.

The extra humans in those places made him antsy. Made him want to hunt. Humans and other small folk everywhere. Food. Everywhere. He needed to keep focus. Cafe and bakery to get the weird food for Hope. He may very well be the first syor ever going to these shops. Syor didn’t really shop for food. Just hunt. Occasionally scavenge for in season fruits and the like. It felt so weird to even think about going to these places, and now he stepped foot into them, holding Hope to his chest to stave off her chills. To keep her safe as he went in this place. Did something syor just don’t do.

But for Hope, it was worth it.

The cafe was by far the worst. Humans, nemeran beastfolk, and whatever other small folk milling around, nervous when they saw him but otherwise unconcerned. So off guard. So easy to snatch and swallow… if not for the syorian nearby that would stop him. He made it to the counter, facing the clearly shocked and confused syorian shopkeepers. More shocked when he moved his hand to show them Hope nestled there. Barrett told them the doctor said her throat is bad and he needed the right foods for her. One suggested grouse soup was traditionally used by humans and other small folk when ill. Barrett had no idea what grouse was, but if it was what she needed, he would get that. The shopkeeper was talking about… some other food now. Something with duck? He knew what ducks were. Now mentioning pheasant… something.  He didn’t know what.. The different things were getting confusing. So he decided to get a couple of each. Let Hope have her pick. These small folks moving around tempting his hunting instincts, having to spend money on these weird syorian foods… it was so un-syor-like. It was wrong. 

But for Hope, it was worth it.

Next stop would be the easiest one. The clothing shop, at least they knew him there. For once he couldn’t focus on the fanciest and nicest garments. He needed to get Hope a soft robe to wear while sick. She was shivering even in his hand. She needed to be as comfortable as possible. It was so tempting to see if she could try on a couple of the newest dresses they had… Hope even looked up at him, the look of concern clear on her face. His heart sank… an awful feeling.  He told them he needed a robe and nice night clothes for Hope because she is sick. Fortunately they had her measurements from previous visits and were able to find something that was close to her fit, just slightly larger. The tailors also suggested he purchase something for himself, something with special embroidery that would be easier for a human to hold onto. Something that had pockets with soft lining for Hope to be secure and warm in. That made her smile. And he used another gem. He hated how plain the sleepwear and robe was, how it didn’t fit what a proper syor would spend money on.

But for Hope, it was worth it.

Back in camp he settled her onto his cot in her cozy new sleepwear with his own blanket snuggled around her. He reread the note from the doctor, and the additions onto it from the alchemist, the chef, the baker… so many instructions. He gave her the first dose of medicine, reading up on what the alchemist and doctor said. Food was more important than medicine, the doctor said. He held out the bowl of grouse soup balanced on a claw. Not so precarious, as the syorian cafe worker had provided tiny metal bowls and suggested he make a divot at the center of each to make this easier.  . He watched over her as she sipped the soup, ignoring that some spilled on his blanket. The mess was unimportant. 

He made sure she had as much as she could of it. He read over the chef’s notes on storing the soup for later. Close the lid. Place it in the enchanted marble container. Make sure the storage container is properly closed. Set it in a safe place so it won’t be knocked over. He considered. He wasn’t as practiced moving stone as he was metal. It required the right movements to control earth and stone or he would have freed himself from the rocks…. This took careful gestures. A small end table of stone carefully shaped, a rim to reduce the chance of things on it being bumped. He wanted to make it look fancy, he wanted to give it that special syor touch… but that was not the priority right now. So he placed the food storage container on it. The box with the many jars of medicine. The written instructions. 

For long days he labored. For long nights he barely slept, instead sitting vigil to watch over her. To make sure she was doing better. Sleeping soundly. Breathing properly. The first sound of her voice again made his heart swell. When was the last time he felt that way? He couldn’t think of a time. But even a hint of her voice didn’t make him rest. He kept at it. Every dose of medicine. Every drop of soup. Until she was fully well again. 

Because for Hope, it was worth it.

Picture | First | Previous

[lwjsbedtime]

Part Two of Prince!JC vs the consequences of his actions (or concubine!LWJ's cold war against JWY grows ever more lethal)

----

For reference, this is set roughly four months after part one. There are sexual themes involved, but no sex occurs onscreen.

----

JC couldn't sleep. He'd gotten ready for bed as usual, drank an extra cup of calming tea, and even plugged his ears as a countermeasure against The Noise. It was still too loud. 

Furious, he snapped up in his bed. He was going to murder that pomped up, self-righteous, unfilial harpy if it was the last thing he did. 

"Wei Ying!"

The cry made his eye twitch, and he swung the blankets off of himself with undue force. 

"Yes! There…there! Uh!"

JC flew out of his sleeping chamber in little more than a hastily wrapped outer robe and slippered feet. He strode the path to his cousin's palace - an exorbitant distance away from his own - with rage seeping off him. LWJ had no business being so damn loud. 

"'S so big. …Won't fit!"

JC knew from experience that it would indeed fit, and also, that if he had to hear about its size one more time, he'd probably take a knife to it to make the goddamn concubine shut up. People were trying to sleep!

As he grew closer to WWX's palace, the sounds of debauchery increased. He stormed past YLLZ's concerned guards, ripping open door after door without care as he made his way toward the dreaded source of the noise - WWX's private chambers. 

When he arrived, he stood for a moment, panting in rage. He took a deep breath inward, steeling himself for what was to come. He raised a hand to pound on the door, and-

"You're so tight, Zhanzhan." His cousin's voice filtered through the walls, sending a sickened shudder through him. WWX's voice was uncharacteristically low - almost a purr. JC wanted to strangle him to make him stop. He had never before heard something so disturbing in his entire life.

However, WWX's next words made it even worse. "Should I spill in you, pretty? Leave my cock in your hole until it hardens again and take you in your sleep?"

"Yes…" Lan Wangji's reply was deafening, causing JC to recoil in revulsion.

He knew WWX was…the way he was from the start, but what had went wrong in LWJ's upbringing to make him so vulgar? Wasn't he supposed to be a reserved and virtuous young master? Then why was he so intent on shouting filth for all to hear in the middle of the night? JC rather felt he'd dodged a bullet by pawning him off to his cousin. Nothing good could come from bedding such a deviant. 

"Good boy," WWX crooned. "I'm going to play with you till you're nice and loose. So you can walk around reminded of what a slut you've become for me."

Suddenly, LWJ screamed, loud enough to make JC jump in startlement from his position outside the door. He stumbled back, his ears ringing from the sudden assault.

That was it. He was going to have them both flogged for disturbing the peace. How was WWX not deaf after dealing with that shrieking every night?

He banged his fist on the hardwood door, barely restraining himself from kicking it down - and only then because he had no wish to see whatever kind of abuse his freak of a cousin found pleasurable. 

"Will you shut the fuck up?!" he yelled, "Every night! Your whore keeps me up with his screaming!"

The cries from his cousin's room cut off abruptly. For a blessed moment, all was silent.

JC was about to return to his own quarters when he heard the sound of footsteps thudding on the other side of the wall. He waited. After a brief pause the door before him slid open to reveal an immaculately dressed LWJ, his expression stony as ever.

Upon noticing JC standing before him, he bowed, his eyes turned down demurely. "Your highness. To what do I owe the pleasure?

"You-!" JC felt the blood rushing to his head, enraged. "You dare to act as if you don't know?!"

"Your highness?" LWJ cocked his head in confusion, his eyes running down JC's form, taking in the entirety of his disheveled appearance.

Suddenly, his mouth opened in a silent gasp, and he rushed to hide it behind the trail of his sleeve. Only the wide, shocked shape of his eyes remained peaked above it, appearing scandalised. "Your highness, forgive me. But I am no longer yours. You cannot mean to have me serve you?"

JC's teeth cracked together as he suppressed the desire to bodily slam the person in front of him across the room. 

"I want you," he enunciated carefully, "to shut the hell up. People are trying to sleep!"

Before LWJ had a chance to reply, another voice called out, "JC?" 

WWX appeared behind LWJ, dressed only in a thin, sloppily tied outer robe. It hung open across his chest, showing off more of his cousin than JC had seen since they were boys. When WWX shifted, it slid open further, inadvertently flashing a long line of bruises that mottled over his chest. JC desperately tried to ignore them, focusing instead on his burning rage.

"Put some clothes on! You look like you've been mauled!" he complained.

WWX blinked down at his chest, following the line of JC's gaze. Seeing the bruises, he wrapped his arms around himself, laughing sheepishly.

"Ah, but what am I to do?" he lamented, his cheeks flushing bright in the darkness. "It's already chou shi. I didn't think anyone would be seeing me."

The way LWJ's expression turned smug at his words made JC uncomfortable, but he pressed on.

"Can you put a muzzle on your whore?" he barked. "His constant screaming can be heard all the way from my bedchamber."

WWX frowned at his concubine being called a whore, but merely raised an eyebrow in response. "JC, I have no idea what you're talking about. Lan Zhan is the quietest person I know."

His words seemed sincere, but something about the twinkling of his eyes set JC's nerves on edge, encouraging him to double down on his complaint. 

"Every night for the past month, all I've heard is the sound of LWJ begging for your cock in his-" He flushed, stuttering over the end of his sentence. "Can't you get him to stop it?"

The way LWJ glared at him seemed as if it could turn a man to stone, but JC stubbornly refused to acknowledge his presence. He'd had enough of LWJ - LWJ on his hands and knees, pleading for release; LWJ with his limbs tied down, writhing and wanting more; LWJ choking on something - gods knew what. He knew more about LWJ's sex life at this point than he did his own! He wanted nothing more to do with him!

WWX looked between his cousin and concubine, and sighed. He stepped between them, folding his arms across his chest as he did. "JC, JC... Have you considered that the uh...disturbance may be coming from your palace?"

"Would someone in my palace keep screaming for WY to ruin them?!" he retorted through clenched teeth. 

WWX scratched his nose. "Maybe one of your concubines desires me?" He chuckled. "I've been told I'm quite handsome."

If JC didn't know better - that LWJ was more likely to die than crack a facial expression - he'd almost be convinced the man rolled his eyes in response. 

He glanced at him, growling out a sigh. "LWJ, I don't know what stunt you mean to play, but you need to keep your whor-" As WWX's face darkened, he changed tact. "Might you please keep it down when you-" He gestured at their bodies vaguely, trailing off. "Below shrieking level, preferably."

LWJ averted his eyes meekly to the floor. "I am afraid I do not know what you speak of, your highness. I would never bring shame to my lord by behaving wildly. As a concubine, it has always been made clear to me the importance of serving with dignity. Surely you must recall this?"

JC grit his teeth together fiercely. How was he meant to recall any such thing when the one time he'd so much as proposed becoming intimate, he was attacked?

"You-" he restrained himself, barely. "LWJ, I've had to listen to you wail every night like a cat in heat. Without complaint! Can you at least pretend to have shame?"

LWJ inhaled sharply and turned away, the very picture of a scandalised maiden. "Your highness has been listening to myself and my lord-" He blushed from the very tips of his ears downwards. "-make love? Your highness, don't you have enough concubines to satisfy you? Must you look elsewhere?"

"As if I would ever look at you!" He took a step towards LWJ, but WWX blocked his way, his arms coming up to hold JC at a distance.

"WWX!" he spat, incredulous. "You're taking his side? Are you that enthralled by him?!"

WWX slowly closed his eyes. "JC, did you really only come here to pick a fight with my concubine? It's the middle of the night!"

JC looked to the side. "He wouldn't be yours if I didn't give him to you," he muttered.

Though he hadn't intended for WWX to hear his complaint, by the way his lips thinned, he had.

"I know," WWX said tiredly. "And I am grateful for your generosity. But is there really a need for all this discussion? Can we just...worry about this in the morning?" He patted the prince on his shoulders. "I'm not lying when I say Lan Zhan isn't the person you're looking for. You can ask my servants if you don't believe me. Or your servants!" He grinned conspiratorially. "Tomorrow, I can even help search for my mysterious admirer in your harem. I'm sure they'd love to meet me in pers-ow!"

WWX stumbled backwards, his hand reaching out to rub at his bare foot. He looked up to where his concubine stood unfazed, his expression betrayed.

"LZ!" he whined. "Did you really just step on me?!"

LWJ turned to him, slow and regal. "Apologies, my lord," he said, bowing his head. "My foot slipped."

JC glanced between them, groaning. "You know what?" he said. "You two are disgusting. I'm going home." He turned, striding away swiftly. "You'd better be waiting at the gate first thing in the morning, Wei Wuxian!"

As he rounded the corner, he heard his cousin call out. "I wouldn't miss it for anything!"

----

The door slid shut once more, blocking the world out from their bedchamber. 

"LZ," WWX began carefully, eyes glimmering with mirth. "Are you torturing my cousin at night?"

LWJ stared at him blankly. After a moment, he deigned to answer. "I assure you my lord, the only one I would dare torture is you."

WWX squawked, turning bright red at the implication. "LZ, you're so mean to me!"

LWJ sighed in response, huffily closing his eyes. "I am your concubine. If you have a problem with my attitude, please feel free to correct it at your discretion."

WWX laughed lowly, wrapping his arms tightly around LWJ's chest. 

"Oh?" he asked, breath tickling across his concubine's cheek. "And how would I do that?"

LWJ faced away from him, refusing to meet his eyes.

"If you still need lessons now, there's no hope for you," he murmured.

The breath was knocked out of him all at once as WWX picked him up, carrying him back to the bed, only to drop him on it roughly. LWJ pouted up at his lord. "Ow."

WWX grinned. "Hey, now. No complaints." He pulled the front of LWJ's robes apart, his fingernails raking crisp red lines across the concubine's pale belly. "This is punishment, after all. It's meant to hurt a bit."

He bent so he could run his teeth down LWJ's chest, and LWJ released a startled hiss at the harsh contact. 

"You need to take the talisman off him," he murmured, licking a trail back up the flesh he'd scraped raw. "The prince needs his sleep."

LWJ blinked up at him innocently. "What talisman?"

WWX huffed a laugh, his hands moving to bite into the soft flesh of LWJ's sides. He brought his mouth next to the concubine's ear, taking a moment to suck on the tip of it. "You know which one."

LWJ moaned when teeth latched onto his earlobe but remained stubbornly defiant. "Why would a concubine know anything about talismans?" he asked.

WWX slid his nose down LWJ's neck, sighing. "LZ..." He nipped at him harshly, just under his jaw. "Do you want me to smack you?"

LWJ looked at him with wide eyes turning tearful. "No," he whispered.

WWX smoothed the hair away from his brow, pressing a kiss to it gently. "Then be a good boy," he whispered.

The concubine swallowed thickly. "Yes, my lord..."

WWX smiled. "Good. Now that's sorted..." He flipped LWJ onto his stomach, ripping his trousers down to his knees in the same motion. LWJ started when a hand caressed his arse, pulling the plump flesh of his cheeks apart, but otherwise laid limp and compliant. "Time for your punishment." 

As he was breached, LWJ screamed.

"Wei Ying!" He sobbed, choking as something thick slammed into him. "No... 'S too rough! Please..."

"Will you shut the fuck up!"

----

One Month Earlier:

LWJ placed his cup down, trying not to glower. Since he'd been given to Wei Ying, his life had become much easier than it had been under the thumb of JWY. Still, every time he ventured out into the greater imperial city, the spurned prince would inevitably find him, and inevitably use LWJ's presence as an opportunity to criticise him. Though he was used to turning the other cheek, something about JWY's demeanor truly irked him, and he was swiftly reaching the end of his rope.

The last time they'd met, the man had even dared imply he was unsatisfactory in bed, claiming that WWX would soon have to find another to please him, if all he had to come home to was a frigid, secondhand concubine, pushed upon him by his cousin.

It was a poorly thought out critique - WY railed him within an inch of his life each night (as he should) and seemed quite pleased by it. But even the idea of WY tossing him aside hurt, as inconceivable as it was. Thinking on this, he felt his ire growing. JWY needed to learn to keep his vulgar opinions to himself.

Still stewing, LWJ turned to where WWX sat beside him, a cultivation manual in his hand. LWJ knew that no matter what, his lord would listen to his complaints, even if he disagreed with them. He opened his mouth, searching for words capable of conveying the full extent of his disdain towards the prince.

WWX, highly attuned to his needs (as he should be), faced him with a smile. "Yes, baobei?"

LWJ suddenly felt unreasonably smug. Foolish JWY. It was clear as day that WWX cherished him. He must be blind to have missed it, as well as deaf...

For a moment, LWJ hesitated, his mind turning.

"Hypothetically…" he began, "is there a way to transmit your voice to a specific person for a prolonged period of time?" 

WWX hummed. "Well, there's this talisman I was working on once, but I had to scrap it."

LWJ's eyes grew sharp with interest. "Why?"

WWX placed his book down on the table before them, his lips quirking. "Ah, it was too loud," he admitted. "I couldn't get the volume to decrease below a dull roar, and I didn't really think the emperor would appreciate me deafening his subjects while playing around with it."

LWJ leaned forward, expression intense. "…Interesting. Tell me more."  

WWX blushed, his eyes growing wide at the dark look his concubine sent him, but went on willingly, eager to talk about his work. "Well, you see..."

LWJ listened attentively, glee growing brighter within him with each word his lord spoke. He'd show JWY for calling him a cold fish. When LWJ was done with him, he'd never doubt WWX's fondness for his concubine's body ever again.

It would only serve him right if he lost a little sleep over it.

----

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[nella09archive]

Marriage. 75

Chapter 75: Sayian Reunion

“I know right. I still can’t believe it. Uh? I couldn’t ask you to do that. But… Oh! Ok. Thank you. Alright. See you later today.” Once I got off the phone, I told Goku that Bulma was coming over. He was playing with Goten, he asked what Bulma wanted. “Oh, she wants to take care of setting up, and hosting our ceremony.” He asked why she wanted to do that. “She said she feels like she owes us. I tried to tell her she didn’t have to, but she insisted.” I couldn’t help smile at that.

For a few hours the day went pretty well. Gohan was out with Videl, Goku was playing with Goten, and I simply was starting on the laundry. Shortly after I put the close to wash, Goku said that they were here. I didn’t even get a chance to get the door, because simply let herself in. Sometimes I wonder if it was a good idea to give her the spare key. “I’m here. Now boys get out.” Uh? She just walks right in, and then kicks my husband and son out. I would be mad, or at least annoyed, but this is Bulma. My first reaction was to laugh. Over the 7 years we did from a somewhat sisterly bound. Close enough that I felt I could trust her with certain things. And with her I didn’t feel alone in my feelings. Once the boys were out, we started planning.

…

“Spill it Kakarot! You let me win our little match! You damn bastard!”

“Oh, calm down Vegeta. I didn’t let you win. I just couldn’t go all out.”

“LAIR!”

Me and Trunks just watched uncle Vegeta basically yelling at my dad. Trunks commented how weird this all looks. “Yeah. Wish I had some popcorn to watch.” We laughed at that. But I did agree with Trunks on how weird this was. Trunks went on about how I really did look like my dad, and how creepy that was. Somehow, I didn’t find it creepy. I almost honored to look like him. Soon dad and Vegeta argument turned to them both screaming at each other. That’s new. Gohan never mention is dad had a temper, or if he argues back with people. Why wouldn’t big brother tell me that? Our dad’s look like they were about to fight, and Trunks went and got our moms.

Mom was smiling at the situation, while aunty Bulma looked confused. Mom told our dads if they’re going to fight to go somewhere else, and to be back for in time for dinner. With that, our dads flew off. We were going to follow them, till our moms got us. “But mom.” “Trunks.”

“Mom can we please go. We promise to stay out the way.” Mom still said no. She saying to give our dads some space. Something about working things out. I wonder what she meant by that.

…

The moment we landed on a far away island, we powered down. “That wasn’t right Kakarot.”

“Yeah, I know. But not like you’re any better, Mr. I want to feel evil again, and have more power.”

“Oh, shut up. Now tell me.” I just looked at him. “Are you still able to reach that transformation.” I told him I wasn’t sure, but I could try. I did give it a try, and it took everything I got to go super sayian 3. So much so that once I did it, I had to power down right away. “So, it’s not stable. Good.”

“Very funny. What? You actually think you can keep up?” I Snickered till I felt a hard punch to the face. “All it means I have to train some more to get make it stable.” I looked over to him. “I could really use a training buddy, or at least someone to spar with.”

“And what makes you think I would agree, you clown?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’ll actually catch up. Then again, who knows, maybe you won’t.” And another punch, this one to the gut. “Can you stop punching me.”

“Then stop making a fool out of me!”

“Ok, ok. Maybe I do have a selfish reason to ask you to be my sparring buddy.” He just looked at me, and then shook his head. “So, are you in or not?”

“Would your harpy be alright with that?” I couldn’t help smile at that.

“I think she would, as long as I do other things. Besides, why do you keep calling her a harpy?”

“Her blasted screaming. I swear, where did you find her? She has the voice to make your ears bleed. I know my woman has powerful lungs, but yours is downright deadly.”

“Why thank you.” I couldn’t help laugh at the smirk he gave. “At least Bulma knows to hit where it hurts.”

“And another thing, you damn bastard! Why the hell you offered my woman instead of yours?” I started laughing. “Answer me clown!”

“Did she even tell you about what she had to go through since she met me?” He gave me a puzzling face. “She’s practically used to having people see her. So, what’s one more show off gonna do?” And that is where I felt he broke one of my ribs. “So, she didn’t tell you. Want me to?” He stared at me, looked away, and then said fine. “But once I’m done, promise you won’t kill anyone.”

“If you don’t tell me know, I’m going to start by killing you!” Touchy. When I was done telling him, well the ones I remembered, his face looked so red it had me dying of laugher. “I don’t believe you!”

“Hey. Give me some credit. I’m not a lair, and I didn’t understand at the time. So, it made perfect sense to offer Bulma.” Oh, he looked ready to kill me. “Hey. Remember, I kept my end. So, you keep yours.”

“I won’t kill anyone, but I sure as hell going to beat the living shit out of you!” Super touchy.

I stood up right, and couldn’t help smile. “Out of everyone that tried to kill me, and I’ve known, you’re the only one who’s been honest with me. Thanks.” He just looked away. “So, do you still want to go a quick round before heading back?”

“Quick is an understatement.” With that we got into our stance, and went at it.

…

I’m so glad I agreed to let the boys have one more week off. And I’m so surprised at the location Bulma choose for the ceremony. It was absolutely lovely, especially with how the cherry blossom booming. It made this whole thing look magical. I was so grateful for Bulma’s help in all of this. She even found someone to help tailor my mother’s dress. And we even found Goku a new suit. I didn’t get to see it, but Bulma promised it was a good one. Even the boys were helping out.

This was among all our friends, and families. So, it was very small compared to our actual wedding. Which made this all feel even more special. I wasn’t getting the princess treatment, which also made me feel good. Videl even help set up the bouquet, which was also perfect. My Gohan really found a wonderful young lady. I couldn’t even be more proud. And this time around I rewrote a different set of vows. One that made me smile and give me a warm feeling, as I tried to memorize them. Thankfully Dende was going to give us the honors, and he’ll help out in remembering what we wrote. This was just perfect.

…

Today’s the day, and I couldn’t stop feeling nervous. I’m so thankful my sons were helping out. I was also thankful Gohan help me write new vows for Chichi. Since this time around I actually knew and understood my feelings. Plus, I didn’t feel my old vows wasn’t strong enough for how I felt for my Chichi. I meant every word then, but I wanted this time to actually pour my soul into it. She deserves it, after all.

As the ceremony started, I couldn’t help continued to feel nervous. It’s almost like the first time all over again. Just this time I’m fully aware of what it means. When I spotted Chichi walking to me, I felt my heart just stop. The most beautiful woman in the whole universe was radiating. It took Gohan to snap me out of my daze. It really was like the first time, just I wasn’t drooling this time around.

“You know me better than anyone else in this world, and somehow still you manage to love me. You are my best friend and one true love. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I’m the lucky one who is married to you. For you are my everything, and knowing I am yours makes me the happiest man alive. Even death can’t keep us apart, because I am yours for eternity.”

We were drowned by a wave of awes, and all I could admire was how my beautiful wife had happy tears.

…

“…because I am yours for eternity.” I was so moved by my Goku’s words, that I was on the verge of crying. I felt so loved, and lucky to have him. And the way he looked at me, I didn’t want to look away.

“You are my inspiration and the fire that keeps me going. You are the magic of my days. You help me laugh through all the hard times. You provide a safe place for me to be myself. You make me feel on top of the world. You are more of an amazement to me, each day I rediscover you. You are the greatest love of my life and the next. You are lodged in my heart that the key is forever lost. You are the air that I breathe, and without you I was lost. You are my eternity, and that’s where I’ll stay forever and ever.”

Another wave of awes were heard, and the smile Goku gave me was breathtaking. The moment we were told to kiss, Goku really took my breath away. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

…

During the after party, my parents looked so happy. Me and Goten even witness dad dancing with mom. They looked so happy and in the moment. Videl was next to me, as we watched my parents. “Your mom looks absolutely gorgeous.” I told her thank you. I always found it funny how everything doesn’t look twice at my mom, when she wore her traditional clothing. But the moment she wore something different, all eyes are on her. Bulma once mentioned how mom looked older than her. It made mom sad. “That wasn’t nice of Bulma.” Heck, it’s Bulma. “But still.” Bulma never seen my mom with her hair down. Plus, mom actually looks younger than she is. “Uh? I don’t follow.”

“How old do you think my mom was?”

“Early 40s”

“She’s 37.” Videl gave me the most shock face I have ever seen.

“You’re lying. Currently she looks in her late 20s.”

“Mom is mom.” She just shook her head. The rest of the event was pretty funny. Krillin told weird stories about dad. And dad kept telling him to shut up. I never thought I’ll see the day my dad got embarrassed. Yamcha even told how dad acting during the 23rd tournament, after mom yelled at him. Oh boy, now that was funny. Dad had a red face the whole time. Yet mom was laughing. It felt nice to see like that. Also knowing how mom affected dad back then was nice to hear.

…

I’m going to punch Yamcha and Krillin for this. What’s made this worse, was even Vegeta was laughing at this. I can’t believe my friends. They really are trying to embarrass me. “But you’re enjoying yourself.” She’s right, but still. Then when Krillin and Yamcha got up to the part of my reaction when Chichi told me about the promise, I thought I was going to die all over again. I can’t believe I asked her if I was even conscious when I made the promise. Stop laughing. “Never. You really made me mad when you asked that. Now I have every right to laugh about it.” As long as I still… “Shut it Goku.” I couldn’t help smile at her.

Once it was all over, it was time to go home. I was thankful Piccolo said he’ll wait be the house. It made it easier to instant transmission everyone home. Once home, it was time to get out of this stuffy suit. We told the boys good night, and went to our room. Once inside, I locked the door and walked over to my perfect Chichi. “Do you need help taking that off?” She playful hit my arm, before turning around. “Are you going to kick me again?”

“If you give me a reason to.” We giggled at that. Once I unzipped her, I watched the dress leave her wonderful body. My suit was becoming stuffier. She turned around. “Do you need help out of that?”

“Yes.” She sure was taking her time underdressing me, but at least I got a good view. The rest of the night was spent trying to stay quiet, as we loved each other. My wife is just perfect.

------

Ch74

[elwynten]

Chapter 30

Curie Drakulya

I let Cerea guard Kim to protect him from rogue limials that are out to get him. Kiira is a Killer Bee that was out to capture Kim to use as bait to lure Rachnera into a trap. Kiira is angry with Rachnera because Rachnera prevented Kiira from entering the country.

If things work out the way they should Kim and Cerea will capture Kiira in a sauna, causing Kiira to pass out from the heat.

==========

Kino is a Matango or mushroom girl that gives off 'poison' spores. The spores cause people to hallucinate. But because I have given all the girls Poison Proof, Kino's spores will not affect any of us.

After I'm able to talk with Kino, I use Nullification on her so her spores will no longer cause anyone to hallucinate. Now she can live a fairly normal life.

==========

That leave one rogue liminal…

We were at the Inter-Species Cultural Exchange Exposition, or The Cultural Exchange Expo for short. Smith was part of the reason the Expo was taking place. One reason the Expo has been set up was to try and catch a rogue Monster Girl that is after Kim. The other reason for the Expo is to help integrate Monster Girls into human society and to find Hosts families for liminals, as well as to let humans know about Liminals.

Smith sprang it on us without notice. She showed up in an SUV and a box truck to take all of us to the Expo. She dropped us off in front of the building then she gave us a quick explanation of what was happening and that we could get rooms for the next few nights at one of the nearby hotels. And the MON squad would be in The Cultural Exchange Expo building keeping an eye on Kim and seeing if they can find the rogue liminal, which they believe is a vampire.

Once we got inside and past the security, the building was HUGE. There were booths set up for Yeti with snow making machines, rock climbing for lizard liminals, trees and tree frames for different kinds of harpies, dancing with Lamia, swimming with mermaids, jousting with centaurs, and numerous other booths for different liminals.

Cerea, Papi, Suu and I went off on our own, while I kept an eye on Papi. I knew she would find Curie and claim Curie as her friend. Since I had given Papi more intelligence, a better memory and nullified when she takes three steps her brain resets, she has lost some of her innocence. But fortunately, she has kept quite a lot of her innocence. Otherwise Papi would not be the Papi I came to love. Because of that she doesn't make every animal she finds her friend. No, I lie. Papi still makes every animal she finds her friend. Although she now knows she can't bring them home and that they have their own masters. Although most people she talks to she still thinks of as friends, but she has learned to be a little more careful with what people she claims as her friends.

I saw Curie bump into Papi on her way to the 'Designated shaded Area for Nocturnal Liminals', where it is fairly dark for Monster Girls that are nocturnal or sleep during the day and work and live at night. Papi followed Curie into the room. I waited long enough for Papi to lay down and go to sleep. Then I followed them into the nocturnal room after I told Cerea and Suu where I was going.

While I was waiting, I quickly found Suu and made sure she stayed with Cerea. I didn't want her getting lost looking for Papi.

Once I was in the Nocturnal room I walked over and sat a couple feet from Curie. She was sitting on one of the benches and Papi was laying down on the bench with her head on Curie's lap. After a few minutes, Curie looked down at Papi with a confused look on her face.

I put my elbow on the back of the bench and cradled my head in my hand while looking at Curie. "She's Papi and I'm her host family." I said as quietly as I could so as to not startle Curie. But it didn't work.

Curie jerked and almost jumped to her feet. "Wha? Who are you?!" She exclaimed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. As I was saying, Papi is the person with her head on your lap. And I'm her host family. I'm Eilwyn. I should warn you, that when Papi wakes up and sees you, she will consider you, her friend. That means she will care for you and she will care about you, the rest of her life." I told Curie.

Curie looked down at Papi when I mentioned her name. "Papi." She said. Then she looked up at me. "I'm Curie." She told me.

"It's nice to meet you, Curie." I told her, then a dark blue dragon Companion flew into the room and landed on the bench beside Curie. The color was so close that the Companion blended in with the darkness of the room. "I should warn you that you will start hearing a voice in your head. That voice belongs to Miyako, your new Companion." I told Curie.

Miyako/F Mythical - Dark Blue Dragon (Lizard/Eagle (Golden Eagle) Regeneration L2 Size L2 Sustenance L2 Intelligence L2 Durability L2 Flight Shapeshifting L1 (Forms: Eagle, Bearded Dragon, Horse, house cat) Agility L1 Magical L1 (Dancing Lights, Mending, Cleaning) Teleportation L1 Speed L1 Extra Arms, Normalization, Weather Proof and Poison Proof.

"Wha… What? I don't understand." Curie stated.

"Miyako is what is call a Companion. She is also known as a Familiar. I'm able to give them to anyone I want to." I told Curie.

"Why would you give one to me?" Curie asked as she looked down at Miyako.

I smiled at Curie. "I gave her to you because I believe you could use a friend. You'll also want to ask Papi how to use your extra arms." I told Curie as I gave her the Extra Arms Ability.

Curie stared at me. "Wh-why would I need extra arms?" She asked embarrassed and confused.

"You see, I know you don't have arms. Instead, you have wings because you're a Vampire."

"H-how… why!?" Curie started and she tried to stand up.

I reached over and held Curie down. "You don't want to do that. You'll knock Papi onto the floor. Besides I don't care that you're a vampire. It'll take a few minutes for you Regeneration to heal you. You see the last person you bit was already dead. She is a Zombi, which means you got a mouthful of formaldehyde." I told her.

Curie covered her face with her hands. "How can you sit there and not hate me?! I'm a Vampire!" Curie exclaimed.

I almost laughed. "You are a sweet and caring person. Kind of like Zombina is a caring person and she's a Zombi. Although Zombina can be overbearing and obnoxious sometimes." I chuckled. Then I pointed at Papi laying on Curie's lap. "And Papi doesn't care that you're a vampire." I told Curie. I reached over and ruffled Papi's hair. "Time to get up sweetheart. You've slept long enough." I said fairly loudly.

Papi started moving around and sat up. "Hi Master. What are you doing here?" Papi asked me.

"I followed you in here. And your pillow is Curie. You laid your head on her lap." I told Papi.

Papi looked at Curie. "I'm sorry." Papi told Curie as she looked at Curie. "You have a funny name." She added.

Curie had a confused look on her face as she looked from Papi to me.

"In Japanese your name sounds like the word for cucumber. So, you'll have to get used to people calling you cucumber or cucumber-girl." I informed Curie.

Curie stared at me. "Cucumber!? My name means cucumber in Japanese!?" She said almost horrified.

"In Japanese cucumber is kyuri. So, your name, Curie is close to kyuri." I said and shrugged my shoulders. "Just ignore it or get used to correcting everyone.

"My father would be horrified if he knew my name means cucumber in Japanese." Curie said and shook her head.

I stood up and reached out my hand for Papi to take, so I could help her up. "Why don't we take our new friend here and see what there is at the Expo." I suggested.

Papi took my hand, and I helped her to her feet. "That sounds like fun, Master." Papi said to me then she turned to Curie. "Come on Curie let's go have some fun."

"Besides you have to show off Miyako, as well as get used to having her in your head all the time. Along with what she and now you can do." I told Curie.

Curie looked to where Miyako was sitting on the bench. "I almost forgot about her. She hasn't been talking in my head like you said she would." Curie told me.

Miyako looked up at Curie. "I've been listening to what the two of you have been saying. I wasn't trying to talk to you. That is why you did not hear anything from me." Miyako explained.

"I'm sorry Miyako. I didn't mean to forget about you. I… I…" Curie attempted to apologize.

"You're a talker. Most Companions usually use telepathy. Even my Companion, Taima, talks to me telepathically half the time." I told Miyako.

Miyako looked at Curie. "It's alright. We are both new to this. It will take a little while to get used to each other." Miyako told Curie.

Curie stood up. I heard a small tinkling-chiming sound. I reached under the bench telekinetically and found a small locket and chain. Fortunately, my telekinesis has a tactile since, so I can feel with it. I know Papi had heard the sound as well.

"Let's go see how your new abilities allow you to tolerate some of the things that vampires don't like." I suggested.

Curie looked aghast. "I-I don't want to do that. Then everyone will know I'm a vampire." Curie said with fear in her voice and tears forming in her eyes.

"Curie, dear… You have greater Durability, which means it is harder to hurt you. Which means the sun should not bother you very much if at all. Garlic should at the most be an irritant. You have Sustenance so you don't need to eat, drink, sleep or breath and you have Regeneration fast enough that if you lost a leg, it would grow back in an hour's time. Along with any damage the sun or garlic causes should be healed in mere moments. And all of those things Miyako has as well." I explained to Curie.

"I-I don't understand. How is that p-possible?" Curie asked.

I chuckled. "Miyako has all of those abilities and more. Thus, any abilities she has, you have also. I turned to Taima. "Would you go find Lala and bring her to me? I have something she needs to do for me." I asked Taima.

Taima grinned because she knew exactly why I wanted Lala. "I'll get her for you."

"Thank you." I told Taima and kissed her on the cheek. Then Taima left the room.

I led Papi and Curie out of the Nocturnal Room and back to the main hall.

I held Papi's hand as we walked around. Papi still had a tendency to be 'flighty' and wander off from time to time. Even with her increased intelligence and memory, she is still a Harpy.

As we walked around, I leaned in close to Papi. "I found what Curie dropped in the dark room. I'll give it back to her shortly." I told Papi. I didn't want Papi running off to look for what Curie had dropped.

"What is it?" Papi asked me.

"It's a locket on a neckless." I told her.

I kept my 'free' hand on Curie's back, to help guide her where I wanted her to go, but mainly to let her know I was not afraid of her being a vampire.

We had reached the display for items vampires didn't like. "Curie, try a little bit of the food with garlic in it. Your new Durability should prevent it from hurting you and if it doesn't, your Regeneration will heal you up fast enough that you should not know you were hurt in the first place. I also gave you Poison Proof. That means to vampires garlic is poison so garlic should not bother you at all." I suggested to Curie.

Curie looked fearful, but she nodded her head in agreement.

Taima walked up to me with Lala in tow. "Here she is."

I smiled at Taima. "Thank you dear." I told her.

"Curie, would you keep an eye on Papi? She gets excited and forgets what she's supposed to be doing." I told Curie and chuckled. "I need to talk to Lala for a minute or two."

Curie looked surprised I would ask her to watch Papi, but she nodded her head in agreement. "I'll try." She said.

I took Lala's arm and led her a few feet away. I pulled the locket out of my pocket and showed it to Lala. "The spirit of Curie's father is connected to this locket." I explained who Curie is. "He's using it somehow to possess Curie at night, making her do things she doesn't want to do. I need you to sever Curie's father's connection to the locket and to this world so he will move on and stop… torturing, harassing, tormenting… Curie." I told Lala and handed her the locket. "Because Curie's father possesses Curi, that is why Curie is a threat to Kim. Once you break that connection to the locket, Curie will be free and won't be a threat anymore." I added.

"The dead must nae torment the livin'. Those who should be dead… will nae be permitted tae do so." Lala held the locket in her hand and looked at it. "My all-seeing evil eye of Balor sees the connection of the dead to the trinket. With a simple stroke of my scythe the connection to this world will be broken. Nae will the dead bother the living." Lala said in her usual dramatic way. I almost laughed but held it in.

"I would suggest you take it to the Nocturnal Room so few to nae will see you sever this soul's connection to the world of the livin'." I told her trying to use some of her melodrama. Then I left Lala to do her work and went back over to Papi and Curie. "Oh, and please bring the locket back to me when you're finished." I called out to Lala.

I walked back over to Curie and Papi. "Why are you afraid of flying and bats?" I asked Curie. "Is it because you don't like heights and flying rats, or is it because flying and bats are closely connected to vampires?"

I could see the pain and fear in Curie's face. "I hate everything about vampires. I can't drink blood and I hate flying. I don't want to be a vampire. I want to be normal." She said almost in tears.

Papi put her arms around Curie from behind and hugged her. "Curie is Papi's friend. I don't care that you're a vampire. Curie will always be Papi's friend." Papi told Curie.

I put my arms around Curie as well and hugged her tight to me. "With your new abilities you don't have to worry about most of your vampire past. You don't need to eat or drink so you don't need to drink blood. Because Miyako can fly, you can fly. This flight has nothing to do with who or what you are. The sun should not bother you more than it being a mild irritation. You don't need to sleep so you can stay up all night AND all day long." I told Curie.

Curie had a confused look on her face.

"All that means is everything about you has nothing to do with you being a vampire and everything with you, just, being, Curie." I added.

I felt arms reach around me. I looked down to see Curie had used her Extra Arms to hug me. I released Curie and took one of her hands. Then I took Papi's hand, and I led them over to the booth with signs that read, 'Are You a Vampire?', 'Experience the things that vampires hate!!', 'Anti-Vampire Corner.' There are UV lamps, all kinds of food with garlic and silver crosses.

"Take it slow and walk up to the garlic and see what happens. If it's too bad for you just back away and your Regeneration will heal you in no time. Papi and I will be right here with you." I told Curie keeping a tight grip on her hand. For one, to prevent her from running off and for two, to encourage and comfort her. And again, to let Curie know that I don't care that she is a Vampire.

As we walked up to the table with the garlic food on it. I could smell the garlic. The garlic was a little heavy, but I'm guessing it was so people could tell there was garlic in the food. Curie gave a little sneeze but nothing else.

I looked at Curie. "Any problem?" I asked her.

"The smell is strong and makes my nose tickle or itch a little, but that's all." Curie told me.

I nodded my head in understanding. "If that's all it does to you, that's good. But it's a little strong to me as well. I'm guessing they put the garlic on heavy so everyone would know there's garlic in the food."

"It smells so good!" Papi exclaimed. "Papi wants lots!" Papi started walking over to one of the tables with the food on it.

I pulled her back to me. "Now Papi, don't go crazy, get one of the small plates and put JUST three or four spoonsful on the plate and that's it. You need to leave some for everyone else." I said chuckling at Papi's excitement. "Besides I don't want to kiss someone with garlic breath." I told her.

Papi grinned from ear to ear. "Garlic won't stop Master from kissing Papi." She told me as she giggled.

I laughed. "Your right about that." I told Papi and I leaned down and kissed Papi on the lips. "Don't be long and don't go wandering off." I told her.

Papi put her arms around me when I kissed her and held me to her a little longer than I had planned. "I won't go far, and I'll come right back to Master." She told me, then she turned to the table with the garlic food on it.

I led Curie over to the Ultraviolet lamps. "Just like with the garlic, take it slow and easy. If the light gets too much, let me know and we can back off. And remember, when you're out in the sun you can wear a wide brimmed hat to help block the sun light from getting to you." I told Curie.

Curie looked at me and smiled, then she reached over and took my hand in her's.

We walked over to the UV lamps. As we walked closer, we slowed down so we wouldn't walk right up on them. That way Curie could get used to the UV light and see how it affected her.

Like the garlic, the UV light didn't seem to bother Curie much at all. We stood in front of the UV lights for about five minutes. The most that happened is the bright lights hurt Curie's eyes. Although that's not really surprising since Curie is nocturnal, and she's not used to bright lights.

"Master, what are you doing at this booth?" Cerea asked me as she walked up to Curie and me.

I looked at Cerea and smiled. "Oh, we're just checking out the things that vampires don't like." I told her. "Would you stay here with Curie? I need to make a call and Papi should be around here somewhere. The last I saw her she was getting some of the food with garlic in it." I added then walked a short way away.

I pulled out me cell phone and called Smith. After the third ring Smith answered her phone. "Hello Eilwyn. What do you need?" She said.

"You can call off the MON Squad. I've found the last rogue Monster Girl, and you were correct, she is a Vampire." I told Smith.

"You've caught her already!?" She asked excitedly.

"I didn't exactly catch her, but I do have her with me. She's not a danger to Kim or anyone else for that matter." I said.

"What do you mean, she's not a danger?" Smith asked.

"It's a little difficult to believe, but here goes. Curie, the Monster Girl, had a locket that held the spirit of her father. She didn't really know about that. In the evening or night, her father's spirit would come out and possess Curie and make her do things against her will. Curie's no longer in possession of the locket and Lala is severing the connection Curie's father has to this world and making sure he goes where he belongs." I informed Smith.

"So, she's not a danger to anyone, now?" Smith asked.

"Curie was never a danger to anyone in the first place. It was the spirit of her father that was the danger." I explained and quickly went on. "If you need a place for Curie to stay, I have room for her, and she is welcome to move in and live with me." I told Smith.

"You're willing to live with a vampire?"

I shrugged my shoulders even though Smith couldn't see. "Why not? She hates drinking blood, she hates bats, she hates flying. So, she's not much of a vampire. Plus, I've given her a Companion, so, she does not need to eat or drink. Which means she doesn't need blood anymore. The sun doesn't bother her anymore other than a mild irritation if she's in the sun for a while. And she is upset about how her father used her." I explained. "All I ask is that you help out the Leech girl, the Miskito girl and the Lamprey Mermaid that Kim found. They will need help finding a place they can stay at." I added.

"Well, since the rogue liminal didn't really commit a crime there is no reason to arrest her. So, I can put in the paperwork so she can live with you. As for the other three girls. I'll see what I can do for them." Smith told me.

"They are willing to live together, so if you can find a house with three or four bedrooms in it, and a swimming pool, that would work out for them. Check with the guy they call the President of 'Black Lily Innovations'. He's set up to help Monster Girls find houses to live in. And the last I heard he has a five-bedroom house that has a swimming pool, and I believe it's not very expensive." I said.

"That could make it easier. I'll see what I can do. I'll talk to you shortly." Smith said and hung up.

I put my cell phone up and walked over to Curie, Papi, Cerea and Suu. "Curie? How would you like to live with us?" I asked Curie pointing at Cerea, Papi, Suu, then myself. "We have plenty of room, and Smith is going to put in the paperwork for you to live with us, if you would like to, that is. With me being your host family." I told Curie.

Papi flung her arms around Curie. "Curie gets to live with Papi and Master. We'll have so much fun." Papi exclaimed.

I chuckled at Papi. "Yes, Curie can live with us… IF she wants to, that is." I said, giving Curie a way out if she didn't want to live with us.

"Live with us…" Suu said and smiled.

Curie looked from Cerea, to Papi to Suu then to me. "You would really let me live with you? Even though I'm a…" She looked around to make sure no one was close. "Even though I'm a vampire?" Curie lowered her voice to almost a whisper when she said 'vampire'.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't mean it. And as far as Papi's concerned, you're her friend, so she would love having you live with us. Besides it would give her another person to play video games with."

I looked at Suu. "As for Suu, I don't believe she would care if you moved in. And that leaves Cerea…" I said and looked at Cerea.

"Curie moved in." Suu said while she moved her head from side to side with a big smile on her face.

Cerea blushed at me putting her on the spot like that. Although I knew Cerea would not have a problem with Curie living with us as long as I said she could move in. "As long as Master says you can move in. I don't have a problem with you living with us." Cerea said somewhat formally.

I looked at Curie and smiled. "That means you can live with us… if you want to." I told Curie.

Curie smiled and nodded her head, yes. "Yes, I would like that very much."

"After the Expo's over, we'll get your things and move them to our house. Now your house." I told Curie.

"I don't have much to move." Curie informed me.

"That's right you kind of snuck into the country. So, you couldn't bring much with you. That makes it a lot easier to move you in. Less work for me." I said and chuckled.

"We need to find Kim, Miia, Rachnera, Lala and Mero and let them know the case is closed." I informed my little group.

[creativia10]

Titan Dream Talk

Request: Eda Meets the Titan

Warnings: mentions of The Titan's death

Let me know if I'm missing any

Pairings: platonic Eda and The Titan, Eda/Raine

Worcount: 1099

Notes: Requested by @MegaZRex123 on AO3

This is one of my first times writing Eda's perspective. Aside from the fic where all of Hunter's parental figures discuss who he should stay with. I hope I do her character justice. This was a short one, but I had a feeling it might be.

It should come as no surprise that everyone was exhausted after the final battle with Belos. Eda set Raine up in a nest she had made. Because goodness did they need it after what they went through. Of course, Eda gave her own share of reunion hugs, but it didn’t take long before she just cuddled up with Raine in the nest. Maybe it was just the relief of finally seeing everyone she cared about safe and sound. After spending so long worrying about everyone. Her weariness finally hit her. Eda rested her head against Raine’s shoulder from where she was in their lap and quickly drifted off.

Now Eda was used to having weird dreams. Since she dealt with the curse and her own battles of having the owl beast within her. But they hadn’t felt vivid or lucid like the one she had before unlocking harpy Eda.

Eda walks along some sort of liquid like she was on top of it. Which was weird not to sink into. There was an orange glow to it like it was reflecting off of something in the environment though.

Eda walked forward to see someone with a resemblance to someone she knew. The tall creature smiled at her with sharp teeth, yet felt more friendly than scary. Maybe it was the body language and posture. It could also be the honestly almost ridiculous-looking clothes he was wearing.

“Oh, my Titan…” Eda said.

The other laughed and gestured to himself.

“In the flesh. Or, well, I guess spirit is more accurate here. Hello, Eda the Owl Lady. It is an honor to finally meet you.”

Eda blinked at him, a bit confused.

Yet, of course, the first thing out of her mouth was,

“You’re wearing one of my shirts.”

He was wearing one of her purple ‘Bad Girl coven’ shirts. She didn’t even have very many, to begin with.

He looked down at the shirt and laughed a big hearty laugh.

“That I am. I hope that’s alright. I wanted to be a part of such a cool group.”

She laughed a little hysterically.

“Of course, the more the merrier.”

He nods.

“Why am I seeing you?” Eda finally asks. “I mean, this can’t be real…right? This must be a dream.”

The titan hmmed.

“This is a dream, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

Eda huffs at that. She supposed she couldn’t exactly argue that. She had her own experiences with earth-shattering dreams. She went with the blunt question, that should be obvious.

“Aren’t you dead? I mean it sure seemed like it when Belos was wrecking the island.”

The titan sighed.

“I’ve been in between death for a while now. But yes, I suppose I am closer now. I can’t promise to understand how I am able to do this either, I don’t know how everything works after all. But I am glad I am able to see you though, even if it may be just this once.”

Eda blinks.

“Oh yeah? And why’s that.”

The titan huffs with a smile.

“I’m surprised it’s not obvious by now. Because you took care of my son, King, when I couldn’t be there for him. I’ve always been grateful for that.”

Eda was slightly taken aback. She supposed that made sense.

“Oh,” She said, a slight obstruction in her throat now. She took a deep breath.

“It’s, I mean, well you know…-“

“You don’t have to try and brush it off as not a big deal, Eda,” The Titan said. Honestly, reading her way more than she would have liked.

“I care deeply for my son, of course. Thank you so much for being there for him. I couldn’t have picked a better person to take care of him.”

Okay, she wasn’t going to be able to hold it anymore. Eda’s eyes got warm, and she sniffed as she blinked her misty eyes.

“Gosh I love that adorable dork,” She admitted.

The titan laughed and, to her surprise, put an arm around her.

“I know. He’s great. And you’ve been wonderful for him.”

She shook her head and found herself sitting down abruptly.

“I’ve never known if I was enough for him. Not after lying to him about what I knew of where he came from, or learning that he was a heckin’ titan like you.”

She looked over at him again.

“I haven’t known what I’m doing. How am I supposed to continue to raise the next titan!? He should have been able to be raised by you.”

The Titan sighed and sat down beside her.

“Of course, I would have preferred to look after him myself if I could. But I am still so thankful that you are the one who found him. I may not be able to be there to show him all he needs to know, especially now that I’m not even in the in-between anymore. But he’s got a lot of people who care about him, like you. And some very smart family and friends who can figure out what he needs to. Like how Luz was able to find the runes I showed her.

“He'll be able to come into his own just fine, even if not the way I would initially have wanted. Just keep doing what you’re doing Eda. You’ll all be okay.”

Eda sniffed and nodded.

“Okay. Loathe as I am to admit it, that means a lot coming from you.”

The Titan nodded.

“I know. That’s why I wanted to speak to you in this way. King is in good hands. Remember that.”

As he said that, the dream started to fade.

Eda woke up with a gasp, jolting Raine a bit. She winced as they groaned a bit.

“Sorry, Rainstorm,” She said quietly.

They shook their head and nuzzled into her.

“Everything okay?” Raine asked.

She sighed and looked over. She saw King talking with the collector about something and smiled.

“Yeah, I think so. I just got reassurance in a dream that I’ve been doing well with King.’

Raine looked at her in confusion.

“In a dream? Was this from the Titan who just passed?”

Raine was good at keeping up with the things their family learned during.

Raine hmmed.

“Well, I can’t say I completely understand how that happened, but it seems like it’s good.”

Eda nodded against them. “Yeah, it is.”

Eda already felt like she was close to sleep again. But she felt more content about it this time rather than just hit with exhaustion. Somehow, she was willing to believe things could be okay.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

Rise of the Runelords: Goblin Politics

An-Nur “Before you do, Chief, I have but one request.”

An-Nur “You are wise AND just are you not?” GM: One of the goblin guards is already eagerly unlocking a nearby door. He sings to himself, “SHADOWMIST, THE GREAT FOUL BEAST, HE WILL CRUNCH YOUR BONES UP!” GM: Ripnugget pounds his chest. “I am both!” he cries.

An-Nur “Then allow me to open this door.” (Thinking the real pickle thieves are hiding behind it) GM: Ripnugget follows after An-Nur on the back of his gecko. He looks confused. “What are you doing Longshank?”

An-Nur “Just a theory,” she swings the door open wide. GM:There is a chorus of shrieks from inside the room. More goblins than An-Nur can count come tumbling out of straw beds, falling on top of each, clambering to grab weapons and shields, hissing at the light.

An-Nur “…bollocks.”

The goblins rush the Longshank all at once

An-Nur (as she goes down). “I guess I deserve this.” An-Nur is dragged down in a tide of biting, scratching, slavering goblins. She is tripped, then pinned, then grappled, then blinded. There are shrieks as the goblins take damaged from her bladed scarves, but eventually Ripnugget wades in and clonks An-Nur on the back of the head with his sword hilt

An-Nur “Arg! Dick!”

(After almost getting kicked to death by a starving horse, and a successful Lullaby/Sleep spell cast on said horse. The goblins are now convinced that she is a harpy. She offers to give them HER pickles from her trail rations if they will just leave her alone. The goblins drag An-Nur to the druid Gogmurt to set things straight.)

GM: Gogmurt studies An-Nur, then looks up at the chief. “Clearly not an ‘arpy.” The other goblins splutter in outrage

An-Nur whispers “Thank you.” GM: Chief Ripnugget continues waving his sword around. “What about the Longshank Pickles?” He jabs An-Nur in the back. “Show us the poisoned pickles!”

An-Nur “Only if you promise no more fighting. Comrades should talk, not hurt each other.” “First the pickles! Then peace!”

An-Nur sighs and draws out the tiny jar of razor thin trail ration size slices. it glints in the light. GM: “Sliiices!” whine the goblins in chorus “The savage Longshanks cut their pickles up like dogs!”

An-Nur “Oh? So you DON’T want my pickles?”

An-Nur “Is that what you’re saying? Well in that case, more for me.” she turns the lid, letting the air escape with hiss, but she doesn’t remove the lid GM: The goblins flinch. “Pickle snakes!” GM: Gogmurt sighs and takes the jar from her. He unscrews it, sniffs, snatches out a slice, then — to the crowd’s astonishment — pops one in his mouth. He chews it thoughtfully, while the whole tribe watches him. Then he swallows.

GM: The silence is broken when Ripnugget calls out. “Did you die?”

[deedadobee]

Hiya! Your writing is amazing and I wanted to ask if you could write about a well known supervillain interviewing a veterinarian civilian about the caretaking process of various deadly animals? I thought this might be a fun prompt to try

Domesticated Fangs

AAA!! such a fun and unique prompt!! i hope i make ya proud w this!! (also aa u flatter me) A/N: this is the longest prompt fill i wrote!! also did some research for it so i have a big brain now ENJOYY

The sun was setting as Civilian started locking up their office at the vet they worked at, it was a rather slow day in their opinion. All they treated today was a puppy whose owners were concerned by its belly only to find out it was just eating healthy. 

A bell chimed while they cleared up the magazines in the waiting lounge, they assumed it was the receptionist.

“How was the cig break?” Civilian asked as they fluffed the pillows.

“I don’t smoke, darling.” A velvety voice replied.

Civilian turned to see SuperVillain in their suit and mighty mask. Their heart lunged to their throat and froze in their place.

“Don’t worry, I don’t bite, just here to ask a professional like you some questions.” SuperVillain reassured them as they closed the door behind them.

“...How do you know that I’m a professional, maybe I’m not that skilled.”

“Ah, you are very humble,” SuperVillain started, “you were all over the news for your findings when you were in university, known for your outstanding graduation project, and many other things.” 

“That was… Years ago.” Civilian sighed.

“Still makes you a valid source for my questions.” SuperVillain sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room with their legs crossed ever so gracefully. 

Civilian was utterly confused, the all mighty SuperVillain could've gone to anyone but came to them instead. They wondered what serious questions roamed their masterful mind.

“Alright.. Um… What can I do for you?” Civilian left a chair between themselves and SuperVillain, awaiting the mystery of their presence to be answered.

“I have some inquiries about some animals I would like to adopt.” SuperVillain shined a pearly smile.

Was that it? They wanted to know about animals? Civilian was taken aback by the simplicity of SuperVillain’s request.

“Oh? I… Think I can help! Are you looking to adopt a cat or a dog?” 

“A retired hunting Harpy eagle is one of the animals I have set my eyes on,” SuperVillain answered, “I was wondering if you knew their qualities and what I should provide them with.”

Civilian’s eyes widened, “A Harpy? That’s a known fatal eagle, SuperVillain, I don’t think it would do as a house pet.”

“I reckon a retired eagle like him would be a lovely pet, don’t you think?” SuperVillian’s fangs showed as they spoke, making Civilian gulp.

“If you’re able to get them an enclosure with monkeys and snakes, then sure! They'd be perfect.” Civilian said sarcastically, only to find SuperVillain writing it down. Oh, they are serious about this.

“Alright! Now,” SuperVillain piped up enthusiastically, “How about a Nile Croc? What should I prepare?”

Civilian thought about it, “W-well, they need a wide space with fresh water, and proper heating… about 26°C… And a proper fence to keep them from climbing and-... Well, eating everyone.” 

SuperVillain was very focused, nodding as Civilian explained, making them feel warm inside, understood for the first time in years. Civilian thought their studies were useless up until now, it was paying off in the weirdest yet thoughtful way possible. It was Civilian’s turn to ask the question that has been bothering them.

“Out of all the people you could have asked, why me?” Civilian quietly asked.

“Darling, I already told you the reason,” SuperVillain looked up through their lashes as they kept writing, "you know your stuff from heart."

Civilian pursed their lips to keep them from smiling and played with the hem of their uniform, flattered.

“So… What other animals are you thinking of adopting?”

“Some lovely cobras, maybe piranhas, every deadly animal from the zoo, really.”

“So... you’re going to steal them?”

“On the contrary, dear, I plan to give them the proper care the zoo fails to give.”

Civilian hummed in surprise, “What sparked that idea?”

“Your thesis, on endangered animals and the dangers of them being in captivity.”

Cheeks flushed, Civilan’s eyes darted to the floor, “O-oh.”

“It was a rather inspiring paper, very detailed and,” the villain looks up to meet Civilan’s eyes ”beautifully written, might I add.” SuperVillain grinned at the red mess Civilian became.

“I-it isn't much…” Civilian stuttered out.

“It is, you poured your heart out on this cause.” SuperVillain tucks in their notepad and stands up, taking out an envelope.

“What’s that? It isn't filled with drugs that’ll knock me out, right?” Civilian nervously laughed.

SuperVillain chuckled and handed it to them.

“It’s for your time, I do apologise for coming in after hours, but I wish not to scare anyone away from your center.” 

“How kind of you… Thank you.” Civilian’s words were quiet and genuine, SuperVillain heard it as they walked to the door.

“No, thank you.” SuperVillain winked as they walked out and only the bell’s chimes filled the lobby. 

Civilian breathed out a breath they didn’t know they were holding, closed their eyes as they opened the envelope. They peeked from one eye to see a check and a card.

The check was written to them by an unfamiliar name with an insane amount of money, with the message ‘For your future research.’

Civilian’s eyes widened as they gasped, they read the card behind the check to see a phone number with a scribbled ‘call me ;)’.

[uesp]

Do you have that post about which races of Tamriel can interbreed? Specifically I remember a part about how it's unclear if men and orcs can have children, but if they can we probably wouldn't meet a half orc who's open about it since for both cultures it would be considered shameful and the mother would hide it? Tumblr's search function is trash and I can't find it just scrolling back through your blog.

The closest I could find is this, but that's more about how the book Racial Phylogeny is incredibly inaccurate (which the book itself admits). The line about how it would be shameful comes from Racial Phylogeny itself:

The reproductive biology of Orcs is at present not well understood, and the same is true of goblins, trolls, harpies, dreugh, Tsaesci, Imga, various daedra and many others. Certainly, there have been cases of intercourse between these "races," generally in the nature of rape or magickal seduction, but there have been no documented cases of pregnancy. Still, the interfertility of these creatures and the civilized hominids has yet to be empirically established or refuted, likely due to the deep cultural differences. Surely any normal Bosmer or Breton impregnated by an Orc would keep that shame to herself, and there's no reason to suppose that an Orc maiden impregnated by a human would not be likewise ostracized by her society.

Unsurprisingly, the book that states it doesn't understand Orcish reproductive biology is not a very good book on Orcish reproductive biology. There has been at least one recorded example of a relationship between an Orc and an Imperial producing child.

For myself, I would generally assume that the various inhabitants of The Elder Scrolls setting are capable of producing children with each other, unless it is explicitly stated to be impossible (which Racial Phylogeny, despite common confusion, mostly does not say). My own position more or less matches this dialogue from Morrowind:

"Offspring of inter-racial matings have the racial appearance of the mother, but may occasionally share inherited characteristics and abilities of the father. Sloads, dragons, and other sentient races cannot mate with Men, Elves, or Beastmen, and are not considered 'human.' Exceptional accounts of matings between men and daedra do not fit smoothly into this scheme. Elves consider themselves the only 'truly human race,' being descended directly from the gods, and regard the Manish and Beast races as highly intelligent animals. On the other hand, Imperial scholars consider Men, Elves, and Beastmen as 'men,' on the basis that individuals of all three groups can mate with one another."

Generic Dialogue from Morrowind.

That said, here are some examples.

Agronak gro-Malog: Orc and Imperial Vampire

Fa-Nuit-Hen: Boethiah and a "lesser being"

The Lamias of Craglorn: A Lamia and a human mage (fable)

Emmeg Gro-Kayra: Malacath and an Orc Maiden

Haymon Camoran: Molag Bal and a Breton (rumored and disputed)

Alandro Sul: Azura and a Chimer (legend)

Dearola: Hircine and a "lesser being" (legend)

The Demi-Prince of Pastries: A Daedric Prince or Lord and a "lesser being"

Minotaurs: The Demigod Morihaus and Alessia (records destroyed)

Unknown Son: Altmer and Argonian (Daedric magic may have been involved)

Nerevar: Boethiah and a Chimer (legend, possibly figuratively)

Harpies: Harpies and human males

Jagar Tharn: Has ancestry from Man, Altmer, Bosmer, and Dunmer.

The Doran Family: Ogre and Imperial (from an unfinished quest)

Bretons: Direnni and Nedes

Umaril the Unfeathered: A God and Ayleid (legend)

Duadeen: Half-Akaviri (from a developer comment)

Imperials: various early tribes of Man

Second Empire Imperials: While rare, having Akaviri ancestry was seen as a major point of pride.

Rim-Men: Akaviri refugees and Imperial retainers

Lyris Titanborn: Giant Ancestry

Two Children in the Light and the Dark: One set of grandparents consisted of an Elf and a Breton

Mankar Camoran: Altmer and Bosmer (rumored)

Khajiit: In-universe theories that they have elven ancestry.

Reman Cyrodiil: King Hrol, the Ghost of Alessia, and the land of Cyrodiil itself (legend)

Reachfolk: “nearly every race imaginable”

There are surely many more examples, but I hope this helps illustrate why I would personally assume that any couple is capable of producing children, instead of the contrary. At the least, I hope this gave you enough of a base to work with.

[tyrantisterror]

Getting close to wrapping up my beasts of heraldry sketch project.  Here are some human chimeras as approach the end, most of which will warrant a sketch series of their own down the line:

Centaurs: human/horse hybrid, with a very unique body plan, being basically half of a human being growing up from where the neck would be on a horse.  With two sets of lungs, two hearts, and an enormous interconnected digestive system, they’re incredibly hardy chimeras.

Mermaid: human/fish hybrid, not to be confused with undines, which are fairy fish that imitate humans in form.  Mermaids have beautiful singing voices and a penchant for dragging land dwelling animals to their deaths.

Harpy: one of MANY varieties of Arepyiai, the catch-all term for human/bird chimeras.  Harpies are specifically a fusion of human and “garbage birds” - i.e. birds who have reputations for being annoying, dirty, or otherwise undesirable.  Though often dim and boasting remarkably poor hygeine, most harpies are very loyal to those they consider friends and can make valuable allies or servants.

Gorgon: a complicated and dangerous chimera, there are many variations on the gorgon’s recipe, but a human and a venomous serpent must be involved for it to have the iconic ability to turn flesh to stone with its gaze.  The original gorgons were a mix of human, basilisk, viper, dragon, eagle, and boar, though there are many other variations with different ingredients.

Melusine: a mixture of human and sea serpent, this chimera can actually hide its bestial side via illusion magic, though the glamour fades whenever it enters water.

Minocane: a spaniel with a human baby’s face.  Real talk: I don’t know what European noble decided THIS was the monster he wanted on his family’s heraldry, that THIS is what needed to be on his flags, his royal seal, the shields and banners of all his knights, etc., but whoever he was, he was a bona fide freak.  Truly unhinged.  George R. R. Martin sat down and tried to think of what a true sicko would put on his heraldry and came up with a flayed man, and this proves he was a hack because the real fucking maniacs flew a goddamn minocane on their flag.

[kazistired]

I don’t know how to do the “under the cut” thing so I’m sorry about how long this post is.

Okay guys, here’s my reactions to The School for Good and Evil movie (this was me taking notes as I watched).

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE

Live reactions:

-KIIIIIIIT

-His guyliner is on point

-KITS MAKEUP IS AMAZING OH MY GOOOOSH

-THEY PULLED A LIV AND MADDIE WOW

-Dang, the CGI is both good and bad, wow

-okay the opening scene? The dialogue is a little cheesy but WHO CARES ITS KIT YOUNG

-first scene over and it’s already very different from the book

-SOPHIA ANNE CARUSO MY QUEEN I LOVE HER

-AGATHA. QUEEN. HECK YEAH

-they changed her mom from a healer to a wannabe witch. Weird

-they gave them more of a backstory together it’s so cute

-THEYRE SO SARCASTIC I LOVE THEM

-oh my gosh they’re so gay in this haha

-the girl playing Agatha looks so familiar

-white men. Scary dude. KEEP AWAY FROM HER YOU DRUNK WHITE ADULT MAN

-HE PULLED A KNIFE ON HER OH MY GOSH

-SOPHIE TO THE RESCUE RAPUNZEL STYLE WITH THE FRYING PAN AAAAAHHHH

-they’re gay your honor

-they’re screwing around with the people’s knowledge of the school. They didn’t know about it until now. That’s weird

-And there’s Sophie being Sophie. Good for you

-the way Sophia plays Sophie gives Lydia Deetz vibes. Maybe it’s cuz she’s the only other character I’ve seen her play, idk

-They’re a lot better friends in the movie than in the book. I think I like it

-they don’t have the whole “shadow kidnapping people every four years and the town knows and tries to stop it” thing

-at least they still have the scary bird

-they don’t set Sophie up as much as a brat before the school so it’s confusing

-the animation for the wolves isn’t very good

-THE FAERIES ARE FREAKY

-the school for evil is full of gender whyyyyyyyyy

-mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. (Red hair lady)

-mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry. (Professor Dovey)

-dang lady 360 much?

-Tedros isn’t blonde. It’s a stupid thing to be petty about but okay

-Hort’s voice is very gender

-WHO’S THIS CUPID HARPY DUDE?????

-“CLOSE. DOESN’T. CUT IT. UGH.” Mommy, sorry

-Kit Young materializing in a column of blood? Yeah, okay, why not?

-Hester spits sparks. Dang

-THEY PUT BRUTAL BY OLIVIA RODRIGO IN HERE AAAAHHHHHH

-Gregor is a KING. I love him

-Sophie just straight up kissed a random dude and it was hilarious

-“I thought gnomes were supposed to be short.” “And I thought princesses were supposed to be likable.” HAHAHAHAHAHA

-Agatha and Tedros’s interactions are weird. Not as cagey as in the book.

-the props are painfully obviously props. Specifically the gnome’s staff

-WHY ISNT THE BLUE FOREST BLUE?????? ITS GOT A BLUEISH FOG AND THATS IT. IM LIVID.

-I like the pink little monster flower. It’s adorable. So cute. I love them

-someone get Gregor out of there and give him his grocery store

-SOMEONE. SAVE. GREGOR. PLEASE.

-NOOOOOO GREGOR!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY FRICKING LIGHTNING ZAPPED HIM TO DEATH OH MY GOSH WHY???????? WHY????????????????

-Lesso is BACK. Mommy, sorry, mommy, sorry

-why does Hort look like the front man of an emo band? Love him haha

-“Why don’t you go find someone else to go have mommy issues with” DAAAANG SOPHIE

-Hester is hot. Very. Hot.

-oh yeah, I forgot about the bees

-op the bees formed Kit Young. Kit Young covered in bees.

-Lesso’s got a thing for Rafal (Kit Young’s character). Wow

-okay but why is the scene with Hester putting her demon tattoo back actually heart wrenching?

-Lesso and her freaky love of Rafal. Dang.

-THANK YOU AGATHA FOR POINTING OUT HOW WHAT HAPPENED TO GREGOR IS WRONG

-“they have weapons but we have animals” wow

-CALL THEM OUT AGATHA. GO OFF GIRL

-why are they all so shallow? My gosh, I hate this trope. I’m tired of shallow princesses

-THE WISH FISH TURNED INTO A PERSON OH MY GOSH THAT WAS COOL

-THAT PERSON IS LITERALLY A CHILD OH MY GOSH AND THE CHILD FRICKING DIES IN A CLOUD OF GLITTER WHAT THE HECK

-oh yeah here’s the animal scene where they want Agatha to free them

-GREGOR GOT TURNED INTO A SKELETON BIRD OH MY GOSH

-WAIT TEDROS KILLS HIM IN THE BOOK

-NOOOOOOO TEDROS KILLED HIM I WAS RIGHT

-“Good used to be good and true. Now we are in the age of self-centered perfectionism” ha true

-there’s always a wolf playing the organ I love him

-Sophie is so pretty oh my gosh. She’s gorgeous

-wow, the doom room already? They’re really skipping a lot of stuff. The Tedros and Sophie build up isn’t happening.

-aaaaaaaaaaand there goes her hair

-the fact that Lesso cut it and they don’t have Sophie kill the Beast makes me sad, cuz that’s her tipping point in the book

-Agatha spitting FACTS

-and freaky Rafal in the mirror, lovely

-I love Kit Young so much. His voice? Amazing.

-he’s got his red vampire aesthetic going and it’s hilarious. He literally just needs fangs

-Agatha getting the build up Sophie and Tedros was supposed to get, nice

-did he trip her with his sword? I dunno

-“unlock your finger glow” “master your finger glow” why does the finger glow thing sound so weird

-Hort you masochist

-the key inserting is slightly triggering

-SOPHIE BURSTS IN LOOKING LIKE A HOTTIE WHILE YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN BY BILLIE ELISIH PLAYS????????? OH MY GOSH SHE’S SO PRETTY AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

-They’re montaging her bonding with her coven. No development. Just sudden friendship. Even Hester is in on it

-Sophie is hot. So hot. Her dress in the archery scene? Oh my gosh

-This is a two hour movie, I just realized that. I still have an hour left

-Agatha helping Sophie cheat. Good job.

-and now Agatha is getting sad

-Hester…. Hesterrrrrr….. I’m gay

-“you promise” word choice besties

-so…. The trial by tale isn’t a school event in the movie? Really?

-Hort really holds gender in every other shot. Sometimes he’s meh and others I want to look like that

-Bestie don’t announce your location to a dangerous forest at night

-okay from certain angles Sophie with this hair cut looks like Kallmekris (YouTuber)

-FRICKING REAPER SCARECROW THATS TERRIFYING

-HA Tedros got yeeted

-WHAT IN THE FREAKY GHOST STORY WAS THAT CRAWLING PUMPKIN REAPER????? I DID A PROJECT ON A GHOST LIKE THAT IN SOCIOLOGY AND IT MESSED ME UP FOR WEEKS

-reaper go boom

-Sophie is starting to craaaaack

-AND THERE’S KIT IN HIS VAMPIRE COSPLAY AGAIN

-Dovey’s acting needs work

-okay, the Never’s dorm is top notch

-Agatha is bisexual and Sophie is a repressed lesbian. Change my mind

-op, and here comes the nemesis signs

-Kit and his vampire cosplay back at it again

-THATS SO CREEPY

-Lesso is 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

-see, in the book you don’t know which brother the school master is. Here, good is explicitly stated as the school master and Rafal is causing chaos

-“oh no she’s missing” and no one thought to check the library?

-Sophie’s nooooooooose whyyyyyy

-ooooooo, I like how they made Lesso a reader

-Tedros spitting facts

-“she’s like my sister” NAH YALL ACT TOO GAY TO BE SISTERS SORRY

-Tedros “you’re my true love” after barely interacting. Lovely.

-Sophie had a veil on how ugly is she under there?

-YO WOW SHE LOOKS LIKE MIRACLE MAX

-“quiet Aggie the protagonists are speaking” I’m stealing that, that’s such a good line

-Wow Tedros throwing Agatha under the bus

-see, if you didn’t read the book, the nemesis thing wouldn’t have made sense

-Sophie turned the teachers into wooden dolls, dang

-Agatha literally being the only one in this movie with brain cells

-Never Ball!!!!! I love it!!!!

-Sophie looking like a goblin from Gringotts

-SOPHIE’S HOT AGAIN THANK GOODNESS

-YAS QUEEN MAKE THEM UGLY

-yooooooo Hort is wearing a skirt

-awwww, they’re not ugly, their clothes are just black now

-Hester’s dress is gross

-THEYRE FIGHT SCENE IS LITERALLY A TOXIC BY BRITNEY SPEARS REMIX OH MY GOSH

-HORT IN A SKIRT IS KING LEVEL BEHAVIOR

-I love Hort. He’s my favorite

-Sophie, snap that pen

-YOOOOO THE SCHOOL MASTER WAS ACTUALLY RAFAL

-Vampire cosplay is back at it again

-wow imagine Kit Young watching this back and basically watching him kill himself

-I mean, he’s not wrong. He really did corrupt them.

-Tedros and Agatha had no build up. They had maybe two scenes and that’s it. Ugh. I hate it.

-I didn’t know I’d ever watch Jesper Fahey seduce Lydia Deetz yet here we are

-the CGI for the school’s collapsing kinda sucks not gonna lie

-wow Agatha, that’s cheesy

-what’s with 100s of years old beings wanting to marry Sophia’s character?

-and after an awful stab scene the school’s rebuild lovely

-Sophie being stabbed by the Storian was cheesy as heck

-Rafal called Excalibur an oversized butter knife and honestly good for him

-Sophie is dying so slowly my gosh

-why didn’t Agatha just grab the sword? Why waste Sophie’s fading energy to send it through the air?

-all it took to kill him was one slash? Really?

-Ha, they kissed (yes it was a kiss goodbye cuz Sophie died but whatever)

-ah yes, the magic tears trope

-goooooood morning Sophie

-so…… no teleportation? They don’t get yeeted back to their home town?

-NO WOLF/FAERIE EVER NEVER REVEAL?????? SERIOUSLY????? THAT WAS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE BOOK!!!!!!

-HORT STRAIGHT UP REJECTING BEATRICE YESSSSSSS

-oh okay, they walk through a portal instead

-AGATHA STAYS????? FOR A BOY?????? THAT SHE BARELY KNOWS????? SERIOUSLY???????

-okay nevermind, she goes too

-they use their magic to make birds poop on their bullies. Nice.

-they set it up for a second movie. Good for them.

Okay, so basically they hit enough of their basic plot points to make it through but honestly? Wasn’t the best. The book was waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better.