#not the whole song mind you but this section especially...

[rodlaveraryna]

this is really basic but all too well ten minute version is soooo rafole coded

[futurewdclandonorris]

Friends Don't | George Russell⁶³

Pairings: George Russell x fem!bestfriend!reader

Summary: you go out to celebrate George's home race win, not even imagining what the night will bring

Warnings: smut, drunk driving, unprotected sex

A/N: you will maybe have to necessarily read part 1 and part 2 hehe. For the sake of the plot, we'll pretend some things already happened. I've spent the whole week writing this and only got it to all click together from the third attempt. Third time's a charm, right? But at least had a blast while editing, which is a rarity. I actually enjoy writing these 'chapters' and building this world sm <3

Sundays were a day for rest and relaxation. A day for sitting down with a good book and a cup of coffee. A day for cuddling up with a loved one and watching a movie. A day for taking some time for yourself; a day to reflect and recharge.

That was, of course, unless your best friend was George Russell. And that your Sundays didn't consist of spending most weekends a year at different race tracks around the world. Not all of them, but you tried to be there for him at least once or twice a month, as much as the opportunity allowed.

That afternoon, George took the checkered flag in Silverstone in P1 and now you were in your room, preparing for tonight's celebration. The victory party was going to be wild, and you knew it. You had seen how George celebrated previous wins, and tonight was going to be no different. Especially because it was his home race.

You took a deep breath and glanced at yourself in the mirror. You had dressed to impress, wearing a sparkly blue dress that fit you perfectly. Finishing your look with a pair of strappy heels and a silver necklace, you couldn't help but think about how previous events with George brought you even closer together.

Your friendship kind of became more... intimate. No pun intended. Guess you were both afraid not to lose each other over the past experiences, and that deepened your bond whether either of you wanted to admit or not. Now your only fear was that your closeness wouldn't tear you apart.

A soft knock pulled you out of your thoughts and you turned around to see George standing at the door with a sheepish grin on his face. He was dressed in a crisp white shirt and black pants, his hair tousled in a way that made your heart skip a beat.

"Hey there, gorgeous," he said, his voice low and husky. "Ready to party?"

Never before have you paid any mind to the nicknames he called you, but now a thrill ran down your spine. The way he looked at you made you feel like the only person in the world.

"I am," you said, smiling at him.

As you stepped out of the door, George took your hand in his and led you to the car waiting outside. The drive to the club was short, but the anticipation was high. The party was in full swing when you arrived; loud music, flashing lights, and the smell of alcohol filled the air.

George led you to the VIP section where his friends and family were already celebrating. You saw his siblings and a few of his close racing buddies. You could hear their loud cheering as they saw George walk in with you and feel the envious glares of the other women in the room.

George handed you a glass of champagne and raised his own in a toast. "To the best damn team in the world," he said, looking at you and his friends.

Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses together. You took a sip of the bubbly liquid, feeling it go down smoothly. The night was young, and the energy in the room was electric.

The party kept going on as the night deepened, and the noise of the songs blasted through the room. Glasses were filled up with drinks constantly, making it more of an effort to ignore the effects of the booze. You found yourself on the dance floor, surrounded by George and his friends. The bass of the music throbbed in your chest, and you let yourself get lost in the rhythm.

Throughout the night, each person had a chance to take their turn with you on the dance floor, and eventually you were spinning around in George's arms. The heat of the club mixed with the buzz of the alcohol made your skin flush against his. You could feel his muscles flexing as he twirled you around, his hand firmly holding onto yours. The closer you danced, the more the tension between you grew.

For a moment, you forgot where you were and who was watching. You moved on him like it was just the two of you in the world, your hands moving over his body like never before, and hips swaying in perfect synchronicity. You were so close to him that you could feel his breath on your neck, and the scent of his cologne filled your senses. You felt yourself getting lost in him, and something stirred inside you.

And it seemed like George caught up on your odd behavior as the song faded away. He grabbed your arm and started leading you away from the dance floor until you reached a quiet corner. But your drunken mind wasn't understanding his intentions.

You threw yourself onto him and he had to secure your hips with his hands to stop you from slipping. You let out a hazy chuckle as you started grinding against him once more before he pushed you back against the wall.

"Stop it, that's not why I brought you here."

But you didn't listen. You pulled yourself even closer, letting your lips brush against his neck. "Then why did you bring me here?"

He squeezed his eyes shut, your breath tickling his skin. "The drinks have gone to your head. I brought you here to take a break and cool off a little." he avoided telling you that you were drunk and not acting like yourself, afraid to provoke any unnecessary argument between you two.

Still, you weren't paying any attention. You were too inebriated to realize that your behavior was a little out of character, and you certainly weren't considering the consequences of your actions. You clasped your hands around his shoulders and pressed yourself against him again.

George tried to keep a respectable distance between you, pushing his hip backwards as you pushed yours forward, fighting the urge to get too close. That got you into an interesting position; you were leaning against the wall in between his arms with your shoulders as he leaned into you with his upper body. Your hand naughtily ran down his side, poking him. You knew you probably shouldn't touch him, but you couldn't stop yourself. His muscles strained as he let out a shaky breath.

"You're getting awfully close to me," he murmured, unable to bring himself to look you in the eye. His fingers slowly slid from their grip on the wall.

"Then don't push me away," you said back.

His face was just inches away now, and your lips unconsciously moved closer. The atmosphere between you two was thick with anticipation, a feeling that you currently relished in. Your lips were only a breath away from his when he spoke.

"We can't." his eyes locked with yours.

"Why?" you asked breathily.

"Because we're best friends." his voice was barely a whisper.

He hoped the reason he gave you would remind you of everything you asked from him that first time. But he didn't tell you that he feared you'd regret it when you sobered up, and that it would be his fault for not stopping it.

"And?" in the state that you were, did he really think that would stop you? He couldn't have been more wrong. You wanted to push him to feel something. Anything. "Best friends can do a lot of things." you smirked.

He clenched his jaw, his eyes still on yours. "No, they can't." he gritted, shaking his head.

"You're right." you said, the alcohol clouding your judgment. "They can't do this." and your hips finally met his.

He swallowed hard, trying to stay level headed. "What am I going to do with you?" he said in desperation, his hands pressed flat on the wall behind you, trying their best not to touch you as they dangerously started slipping down.

You placed your hands on his chest, feeling his heart hammering under your palms as you glided them down his torso. "Remember how you said you can read my body language?"

"Yeah," he breathed, nodding his head.

"What is it telling you now?" you whispered against his lips.

"It's telling me we're going to be in big trouble if you don't stop this," he replied. "You have no idea what you're doing to me right now."

"Then don't fight it. Show me." you murmured.

He leaned in, his lips brushing yours. Your arms snaked around his neck and fingers twined through the hair at its nape, pulling him closer. You couldn't believe that you had done all those other things, but never kissed. And when ultimately his mouth closed on yours, it was like finally locating the elusive jigsaw piece on a seemingly ordinary Tuesday while tidying up your home that you thought had been lost forever. It made you almost not want to kiss anyone else ever again — almost, because deep down you knew you shouldn't have been doing this in the first place.

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as his head tilted to get a better angle. The kiss was soft, tentative, like both of you were very aware of what might happen. You pressed your mouth against his more firmly, tasting him. Parting your lips slightly, you felt the silky wetness of his tongue on yours. You bit his lower lip, letting out a deep moan when he groaned in response, hands that were in his hair tugging on the strands slightly. He groaned into your mouth again, pulling you even closer against him. You had no idea how long you were kissing, but it was definitely not enough.

The kiss broke, and you leaned your face against his neck, panting heavily. He glanced down at you, his lips so close to yours that if you had merely lifted your head, they'd be touching again. The warmth emanating from your body made him want to do things he knew he shouldn’t. He placed his forehead against yours, trying desperately to get control of himself.

"We should get back." he said between breaths. Your head was spinning from the alcohol and his scent and the magical kiss, it took you a moment to realize you were no longer kissing him. You opened your eyes and met with him.

"We should, before they realize we're missing." you nodded. He frowned, but his eyes were smiling. He was relieved, but he was also worried for you and what tomorrow might bring when you sobered up.

"Lets go," he said, turning around, but kept an arm around your waist so as to not let you get lost. You looped one arm around his neck, holding onto his shoulder, and gently hit his other shoulder with your head.

The night was still young and the party was still going. Music was playing, people were dancing, and laughter filled the room. Your friends cheered when they saw you two come in together, but neither of you paid any attention to them; all that mattered was that you were here, with him. Guys grabbed drinks for the both of you from different parts of the room and put it in your hands.

You found a spot on the couch and George sat next to you, his arm around your waist protectively. The conversations flowed easily between you two, and soon enough you both forgot what had happened earlier as you joined the rest of the group in drinking, singing along with music and laughing.

He later found you on the dance floor swaying around completely out of rhythm with a drink in your hand. Your face lit up when you saw him.

"There you are, my champion." you leaned into him, dropping your head onto his shoulder.

"I won the race, not the championship.” he chuckled.

“Mm, don’t care. To me you are the champion.” you slurred, pouting.

“Hey, is everything alright?" he asked, supporting you.

"Mmhmm." you mumbled. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine." you could hear the frown on his face. "You're drunk." he spat as he attempted to take away the half empty glass from your grasp.

"I'm not." you said, feeling yourself lose your balance a little as you swayed back and forth. He put his arm around you to help you balance.

"Yes, you are. I should've taken you home the first time around." he sighed, somehow not surprised you managed to get even drunker. You were both intoxicated for that matter, it's just that George knew how to hold his liquor. And he looked to never go over his limit in case something like this happened.

"No." you tried to pull away from him.

"I'm taking you home." he tightened his grip around you, leading you out of the party. You mumbled something in response, not quite sure what you were saying.

He helped you into his car and buckled your seat belt for you, before getting in himself. He drove slowly, carefully navigating the roads while you were almost passed out in his passenger seat. Every now and then he'd take a hand off the wheel to reach over and brush your hair away from your face or wipe away a stray tear from your cheek if one escaped your eye. As he turned into your street and parked the car, your eyes fluttered open.

"Um, could you walk me to the door?" you asked.

"I was planning on it," he said, unbuckling his seat belt.

Both of your arms wrapped around his left one, holding on for support, as he walked you to your apartment. Your little nap helped clear the haze from your head, but you were still tipsy. When you reached the entrance of your flat, you propped yourself against the door and blinked up at him.

"Do you want to come inside?" inviting your best friend into your home have never before seemed more dangerous and George should've known better than to say yes.

"Do you want anything to drink?" you asked to break an awkward silence that fell among you the moment he shut the door.

Before even waiting for his answer, you made your way towards the kitchen, but he extended his arm and grabbed your waist, preventing you from moving further.

"I think we both had enough to drink tonight," he said.

"Then what do you want to do?" you whispered.

"I want to claim my prize." he must have had a few more drinks than usual at the club to summon up the courage for that sentiment.

You could feel your heart racing in your chest, the alcohol still fogging your mind but not enough to miss the implication of his words. You turned to face him, your eyes meeting his intense gaze. His hand still rested on your waist, his fingers tracing small circles over the fabric of your dress.

"Is that what I am, a prize?"

"No, no." he said quickly, his eyes softening. "You're so much more than that, you know that." his hand cupped the side of your face. "When I saw you looking up at me on the podium today, I realized I couldn't have done it without you. You were the one who had been cheering me on from the sidelines all this time. You've been there for me when no one else was." he leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "You've been my lucky charm all these years and I want to show you how much you mean to me."

The way he was looking at you made your chest heave with a mixture of emotions. You were both under the influence, and you knew this was not the best time to make decisions, but you couldn't resist him. You leaned in and attached your lips together again, only this time with more passion, more desire. You could feel his hands running through your hair as he kissed you back, his tongue playing with yours, his body pressing against yours.

He pulled away, looking at you with a hunger you had never seen before. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

You nodded, unable to say anything. His lips crashed onto yours, hungrily claiming your mouth as his own. Your body responded to his touch, your hands roaming over his chest and tangling in his hair. He lifted you up, your legs locking around his waist as he carried you to the bedroom.

He laid you down gently on the mattress, his eyes never leaving yours. Climbing on top of you, his lips trailed kisses down your neck and collarbone. You moaned softly, your hands gripping tightly onto his muscular back. He pulled his lips away from you, looking into your eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

You nodded, reaching up and pulling him back down. He gently kissed you again and you responded in kind, but he pulled away again.

"I'll stop if you tell me to." he whispered. "I don't want to do this unless you want to." 

"I want to." you murmured. The alcohol may have distorted your judgment, but it surely helped your courage.

"Are you sure?" he asked a third time. You laughed softly, trying to push him off. He had you pinned to the mattress, still pressing you down.

"Yes, I'm sure." you said, no longer laughing.

That was all he needed to hear. He kissed you hard, his fingers lightly tracing over the fabric of your dress. He ran his hands underneath, gently resting them on your ribs, and pulled your dress upwards. You lifted your hands above your head, freeing him of the task of removing your dress as you squiggled out of it and freed yourself from the restriction that was your dress.

He kissed you again, letting his hands run over your bare skin. His lips kissed down your throat and chest, his hands undoing your bra. He pulled it away and tossed it aside, taking in the sight of you.

"You're beautiful, you know that?" he said. You blushed, and he smiled. His lips traveled down your leg, gently caressing the outside of your thigh. "But I'm a little jealous, you know?" his lips traveled back up, his tongue tracing over the slope of your breast and hands kneading them softly. "You got to taste me, and I..."

He kissed his way down your body, his hands going over every inch of exposed skin, reminding you how skillfully he handled you that very first time. He reached your inner thigh and slid his hand underneath your underwear. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt his fingers brush against you before a long finger slid inside you. You moaned loudly, spreading your legs apart for him. He smiled against your neck, his teeth taking in your skin, his tongue leaving a trail of fire behind.

His finger slowly moved inside you, circling you before sliding in and out. His hand pulled your underwear down, you kicking them off to the side. His mouth moved down your figure, hovering over your breasts. He teased you for a moment, blowing against your nipples before drawing the tip of his tongue over one. He did the same with the other, his fingers never ceasing to move. His kisses continued further down, over your stomach until they reached your mound.

"Can I?" he asked, peeking at you.

"Please..." you tried to hide the shake in your voice.

His tongue slid between your lips, gently licking you. You could feel his breath, hot and heavy against your sensitive skin. He teased you, his tongue circling your clit before sliding inside you. His tongue flicked over your clit, his hands holding your thighs apart. You spread your legs even wider, your body arching up to him. He leaned in, gently sucking on your clit and you moaned loudly, his tongue moving faster. You cried out in pleasure, your hips bucking against his face.

You were nearing your end, your moans growing louder with every movement of his tongue. You could feel his lips smile against your skin, enjoying the sounds you were making. You cried out, your body tensing as you came, shaking against him. He pulled away, slowly kissing his way up to the top again. He placed a gentle kiss on your lips, not hurrying you up as you sucked in his bottom lip, squeezing out your own juices.

"Taking that trophy is the second best thing that has ever happened to me." he whispered. He kissed you again, this time with more passion, your hands reaching for the buttons of his shirt. "The first, of course, being you. You're my greatest reward." he continued as you trailed kisses down his neck, removing the shirt off his shoulders.

"Stop talking, George."

"Sorry," he whispered as he closed his eyes, surrendering above you.

You kissed his chest, your nails raking up and down his sides, feeling his muscles tense. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, and could sense the urgency in his touch. His hardness pressed against you, begging to be liberated. You pulled away from him, reaching for his belt buckle and his eyes shot open, hands reaching for yours.

"Are you sure?" he asked again. He knew if you go any further there would be no going back and some irreversible things would be done.

"Are you sure?" you asked back, smiling mischievously. "I thought this is what you wanted." your nail dangerously circled around his lower abdomen, causing his breath to hitch with every word he spoke.

"I-I do. I'm just making sure you're not doing it just because I want it." you could tell he was really struggling to hold himself back.

"I think we've already established that..." you whispered against his lips and prompted your body more to his.

"Okay," his hand moved away from yours, and you undid his belt.

His pants fell around his feet and he kicked them off. His boxers were the last thing left, and you reached for them, slowly pulling them down. His hand held the back of your head as he kissed you, his tongue twirling around yours. You moved to pull away but he held on tighter.

His boxers hit the floor and you looked up at him, his hands resting on your frame. Gently taking your hand, he placed it on his dick. You gasped, feeling it grow even more underneath your touch. He pulled away, his lips planting kisses down your neck as his hand guided yours up and down his length. You felt him shiver as you grazed the tip with your nails, his breath hitching. He removed his hand, and your eyes shot open when you felt his tip brush against your entrance.

He teased you, running it up and down your slit. You threw your head back in pleasure, your back arching against him. The more he prolonged what you needed the most, the more your neediness grew. You tried to guide him inside you but he resisted, placing a finger on your lips instead. He dragged it over them before he made you suck on it, his eyes never leaving your face as he blew a stream of air out. Your eyes widened when you felt his head brush against you again, making you gasp audibly, his name falling from your lips.

"Please," you remembered what he told you the first time he had you in his arms like this. "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please..." you chanted over and over again.

"Fuck," he hissed under his breath. Hearing you beg for him made his head spin again. It was like you'd put him under a spell every time you'd utter that word and he'd not be able to deny you anything. Not that he ever wanted.

He slowly pushed inside of you, stopping at every inch to wait for you to adjust. "Are you okay?" he whispered.

You nodded, your breath hitching as he began to move again. He kissed you, your nails digging into his back as he stretched you more. He was so gentle, it was unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. This was not the normal rough, lustful sex. This was the man who loved the sight of you, the sounds of your pleasure. This was the man who wanted to make love to you, to show you what true pleasure was.

Your fingers sank into his back again, and he responded by thrusting into you harder, your moans getting louder. His lips traveled down your chest, his tongue flicking a nipple as he pushed into you again.

"Oh, god." you moaned, George's name falling from your mouth repeatedly. Your hands dug into the sheets as his thrusts grew harder, deeper.

"You feel so good... so damn good," he kissed your skin. "Making me feel like I don't ever want to take anybody else again."

"Don't stop, please, whatever it is that you're doing, please, just don't stop." you cried, twining your legs around him to press him deeper.

He moaned in pleasure when you did, his hands tightening their grip around you. His breathing grew heavier and faster, your bodies reacting to each other. He was so close, and he could feel you held right on the edge.

You cried out his name, your form shuddering under him. He had no intention of stopping, and he continued his movements as you kept shaking, your voice loud enough to wake up the whole apartment complex.

"You, George, only you…" you whispered into his ear as you were coming down.

You felt his whole build shake, his cock pulsing inside of you, but it wasn't enough. You wanted to hear him as he climaxed. You wanted to hear the sounds he made, the sweetest song in the world.

"George… George…" you panted, your breathing coming out in jagged breaths.

He cursed, as his body trembled with pleasure. His hands tightened around you, pulling you closer as he came. You buried your face in his neck, your fingers playing with his hair. He kissed you, holding you close to him. He wanted to stay inside you forever, to feel the sight of your face as he pleased you. You did that to him. You were the one making him see another reality where only he and you existed.

But he pulled away, your eyes searching for his as you slowly came back to reality. He kissed you again, his lips landing on yours.

"That was amazing… you were amazing…" he whispered, stroking your face gently.

"So were you." you said back, playing with the bangs that fell over his forehead.

He rested his head on your chest, finding a comfortable spot, your hands moving into his hair.

"Are you going to stay?" you whispered, uncertain.

"Only if you want me to."

"Always."

He hugged you tightly and rolled over so that you were now on top of him. His fingers softly ran along your back as your body let go and fully relaxed. The peaceful sound of your heartbeats and his breath seemed to take over the room. You drew near to him, feeling the up and down movements of his chest gently rock you to sleep, matters of your friendship left for tomorrow's morning news.

Next part

[transmasc-rose]

I'm thinking about the horror of the Doctor from the perspective of non-companions again, especially as it relates to people those companions know.

Rose? "Ran away" (not wrong) for "a year" (a week) with a "man" (alien) "twice her age" (approximately 50 times her age but yeah, he is Time Lord middle aged), and then gives absolutely no explanation for how or why that happened, except that she was "travelling".

Then when her mum does get an explanation (which, frankly, is only comforting because of the unfamiliarity of the alternative given. The devil you know.), Rose barely checks back in.

She almost dies for him. When she thinks he's dead, she's changed in a way her family doesn't know how to handle. Then she's gone for who knows how long and comes back with the Doctor wearing a new face.

When her original tenure as a companion ends, and Rose lives in Pete's World, she works for Torchwood/UNIT (they become the same organization). She volunteers for the Dimension Cannon. She explains to the alternate earth how to rig up a time machine.

She's changed in ways that no one else can really understand.

Amy? There's everything with River Song of course (though I'm still not there in my viewing), him running away with Amy the night before her and Rory's wedding, and also the connection between the Doctor and the Time Crack being the reason all of Amy's family's dead. Obvious stuff.

However he's also the strange man who broke into this child's house and made a mess of her life that she never got over, that promised to take her away from here, that she wrote about and drew and carved and made her friends dress up as.

And they sent her to psychiatrist after psychiatrist without any help. In their perspective, to work through what she imagined. In her perspective, to tell her that her reality wasn't real.

And then he comes back.

And to some extent, later, when he shows himself to everyone, isn't that more frightening? That the story your child told you, of the strange man she met as a child, of time travel, of nearly being stolen away, hadn't been a lie, or a misinterpretation, or an imagining?

And so he shows up at her wedding. And steals her away again.

Donna I feel like has the least horror until her final episode. I think exploring the in between section of her meeting the Doctor and finding him again would be interesting, but not exactly horror. More an exploration of how obsessive the companions can get about him, how it eats their whole lives with even one encounter, even as it makes them better people.

And then, obviously, the horror of having your mind altered and erased against your will by someone you trusted. For your own good, of course. Because he knows best. How could you know better than him? He's ancient. He's practically all knowing.

Shouldn't you be grateful?

(And he's forgiven.)

[so-so-woso]

i wanna be the one | part 1

Edit: Changed title. Thanks to Dru for the suggestion. From the song "Things We Never Say" by the Bad Bad Hats. Great song, potentially relevant maybe who knows.

Summary: Reader is an English-American GK who joins the Arsenal squad and ends up in an interesting back and forth with Leah Williamson. This chapter is mainly set-up for the future. The vibes will probably be very different going forward lol

Warnings: Angst, swallowing self-doubt, and mentions of parental death in the first section.

Word Count: 3,284

London felt just like Seattle. You were expecting it to feel different, more European (whatever that meant), but when you stepped out of the airport and that familiar January rain hit your skin, it was a welcome feeling. It wasn’t quite Home – you hadn’t had one of those in a long time – but it was definitely welcoming, and nice enough that you didn’t bother with an umbrella. It would’ve been hard enough trying to carry one along with all your bags anyway, although by the look on your driver’s face he really wished you had at least tried. It was nice that the team had sent a car to meet you, especially since you didn’t really know anyone here that well, but you supposed they would do that for any new signing. The driver helped you get your bags into the car and then you were off to the club to dot some Is and cross some Ts to make everything truly official.

Wistful thoughts crept into the back of your mind as you were chauffeured through the streets of London, and you decided for the first time in a long time not to fight them. Not here, anyway – not now. Not after everything it took to get you here. Get you here again, technically. You were born in London after all, and raised in Sheffield where your mother had grown up. Your father was an American, from Dallas, who came to England for graduate school and stayed for the woman he fell in love with. He often teased her about “real (American) football” but she converted him to Sheffield United fan, though he would never admit it – at least not until you were born. Match days became a family event as soon as you could stand up on your own, even though you were still too young to really remember anything at that point, but by the time you could run you wanted nothing more than to play. You were always bigger than the other kids so they made you play with the boys, but you knew a lot of the women’s national team players had played on boys’ teams growing up, so you didn’t mind it. You were never upset about that, but you were upset when they made you move to the goalkeeper position when you were eight. It was the boring position and you never got to do anything, but you were the only kid on the team who didn’t seem scared of the ball when it came flying at you, so the job fell to you. Many years later, it would prove to be the right choice, but for a while you thought it felt like a punishment from the universe. Then you found out what that kind of punishment actually felt like.

You were only eleven when your parents died. It was a car accident; your mom was driving. She took the brunt of it and was gone by the time the ambulance arrived. Your dad was in the hospital for two days, but he never woke up. You had been in the back seat. Heavy bruising, a busted ribs, broken collarbone, and a big gash across the side of the head was it for you. You were in the hospital too, for a while. Your paternal grandmother came all the way from Austin to pick you up and take you to live with her. Your mom’s parents had been gone for a while now, and GiGi – what you had called your father’s mother – was all you had left. You had only met her a few times before, but you didn’t really have another option, so across the pond you went.

It would be a massive understatement to say that Texas was different from Sheffield. It was truly a whole different world, but kids are resilient enough. You were famous for a while, because of your accent, and then you were weird for a while, because of your accent, and then eventually you became just one of the kids. Your GiGi was supportive as well, more than you had expected her to be. You didn’t know much of the specifics as a kid, but you knew she and your father had had some sort of falling out and weren’t as close as they had been when he was younger. You always thought it had to do with him choosing to stay in England rather than come home to America. When you got older it seemed like maybe there was more to it than that, but GiGi wouldn’t talk about it. She did help you get into therapy, so that you could learn how to process what had happened and all the big changes that came with it. You didn’t like it at the time, but in hindsight it was probably the best thing she could’ve done. She even started trying to learn about football – soccer – too, because she knew you liked it, and she made sure to sign you up for the local league. You think maybe that time doesn’t heal wounds, but it sort of scabs them over enough that they only hurt when you pick at them, so eventually you learn to stop picking at them, and after that life became kind of normal.

You eventually played soccer in high school – goalkeeper, naturally – and were good enough to get recruited to the University of Texas. From there, the NWSL draft sent you to Seattle for the OL Reign. You spent a season as the third-string goalkeeper, then a season as the second-string, and then were presented with an opportunity you couldn’t dare turn down. It had been Kim Little’s idea, apparently. She had only played with you in Seattle for a month or so, and you never really hung out, but she knew you had grown up in England and that you had really wanted the chance to play football in Europe. She would tell you later that she was impressed with your resilience, something you had heard often growing up, and that you had a “dead brilliant reaction speed” which you guessed sounded good. So when Arsenal’s back-up goalkeeper transferred out and they were weighing their options, she suggested they give you a look. She had said it offhandedly, like it wasn’t a big deal, but you would wager she fought harder for you than she let on. You had only played a handful of games in two seasons, and while you were admittedly good, the offer from the English club still came as a massive surprise. They were up front and adamant about your status as a pure back-up to Zinsberger, and while you would’ve had a decent chance to win the starting spot in Seattle, you just couldn’t say no to European football, to England, to the Arsenal.

That’s how you ended up in the back of a dark car being driven through the streets of north London in the pouring rain. Your fingers fiddled absently at the chain around your neck and the two golden bands that hung from it while you considered everything that led you here, hoping that you made the right choice. Only time would tell, you thought, as the car squealed to a slow stop. You hesitated for a long moment before tucking the necklace under your shirt and moving to exit the vehicle. The driver met you at the car door, an umbrella extended overhead. You were taller than him, so you had to awkwardly bend your neck as he moved to close the door behind you.

“This shouldn’t take long,” he said, “Then we’ll get you home.” You thanked him and stuffed your fists in the pockets of your coat as you followed him up to the club, your stomach slowly rising higher and higher into your throat as the series of decisions you had recently made began to congeal rather quickly into a hard reality. It was some grotesque mix of nerves and excitement and fear that just fully slapped you in the face when you stepped inside the building. You hadn’t felt like this in Seattle, or on the plane, or in the car, but now that you were here, physically, it’s like everything else was physical too. It wasn’t some amorphous Choice floating in the metaphorical ether of your life; it was a foreboding Presence leering down at you, clawing at your shoulders from behind, and whispering ‘you don’t deserve this’ into your psyche. Nausea began to swell up, to the point you were just starting to feel dizzy. Out of instinct you reached forward and put your hand on the driver’s shoulder, who stopped walking to turn and see what you needed. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted by a distinctly Scottish, “Oh ‘ey, Tex!” behind you.

You both turned to see Kim Little striding down the hallway, followed closely by Jonas and one of the other coaches. You swallowed hard, all the torturous feelings slowly fading away as you saw a familiar face. “Hey, Little Kim, “ you retorted. She scoffed and faked a jab towards your ribs before she reached up to hug you.

“Welcome to the party,” she said, stepping back to introduce the coaches, who shook your hands. They welcomed you as well and explained that the evening would be brief, they were sure you’d be tired from the flight, but just needed to finalize some things on the business side and then Kim would give a tour of the facilities. You thanked them, probably too many times, and went with them all to finish your paperwork and pick up your official training gear. Your kit wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow since they’d have to put your name on and weren’t sure what number you wanted (you picked 18 because it was available and made sense for a goalkeeper). Kim showed you around, asked about the flight, and made you feel as welcome as she thought she could. It was nice to talk to someone for a while. You weren’t exactly an extrovert, but you were Southern enough you enjoyed being around people, and being able to talk to Kim, even if it was more or less small talk, made you feel better, and by the time the tour was done all of the earlier feelings were forgotten. You started to think that maybe this whole thing was a good idea after all.

“So no rest for the weary – first training tomorrow, yeah? Text me your address and I’ll pick you up. Since you won’t have a car, Uber’s always an option, but until you get sorted, you can get rides with me,” Kim said.

“Sounds good. Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m picking you up extra early tomorrow – the girls’ll want to meet you before kickin’ balls at your head.”

“Well, I guess that’s only polite.”

You both laughed and hugged goodbye before heading your separate ways, you pulling out your phone to look up your new address to send it to Kim. This was a good decision, you thought, this was a good decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your apartment – or flat? – was nicer than you expected it to be. You had done a Zoom tour while you were still in Seattle and it looked fine, but you had tempered your expectations to be safe. Turns out, you didn’t need to. It was a two-bedroom and furnished with the basics, so there was plenty of space for you and plenty room to decorate as you saw fit. You had what was sometimes described as an eclectic taste by your friends, mainly because you liked to decorate with things that made you happy. That seems like an obvious thing to decorate with, but you were kind of – literally – a giant dork, which meant you had a lot of “nerd shit” as your friends would tease. You expected the Arsenal girls would do the same if they ever started coming over, but all of that would be a long time coming. Tonight, all you wanted to do was collapse into bed, which is exactly what you did.

Kim wasn’t lying when she said she’d pick you up early. At least she had the decency to bring you coffee, but she was completely taken aback when you admitted you didn’t really drink coffee and actually preferred tea. “Guess there is some English in you after all,” she had joked as she drove. She asked about your night and how you slept, and pointed out all the important-to-know shops and stops between your apartment and the training center. When you finally arrived, you asked her if she accepted tips for her tour knowledge – to which she responded with “only big bills”. You laughed as you retrieved your bag from the back of her car, and the two of you headed in.

The next few days were an absolute blur. You were introduced to everyone, and they all seemed pretty nice. McCabe kept talking about how tall you were, but from how everyone else acted that was normal. Manu was happy to have another goalkeeper in the squad despite the fact you would both technically be competing for the starting spot, even though you were explicitly hired as a back-up. At least it didn’t seem like there would be any weird hurt feelings or anything there, so you were glad for that. All your other time was spent trying to discern personality types and team dynamics, and also actually training. The coaches had told you they wouldn’t expect you to go full on for the first few days to give you time to acclimate to everything. You thanked them, of course, but that didn’t stop you from diving in head first.

By the time your official day three was over, you wished you had taken it a little easier. It felt like jet lag hit you late, on top of the normal physical tiredness of training. But that evening as the team as the team filtered out of the locker room, Katie McCabe slapped you on the back and said, “Drinks on you tonight, mate!” You turned to look at her, but before you could ask, Kim interrupted with a sharp “Katie–“

“Hold on, hold on! I don’t mean a big to-do, but we gotta welcome the newbie right, right?”

A couple of the other players voiced their agreement and Kim rolled her eyes. “Two drink maximum.”

“Four.”

“Two.”

“Three?”

“Two, McCabe.”

“Two and shots?”

“…”

“Two…and shots?”

“…one shot.”

“Fuck yes, best captain ever! You’re riding with us, Y/N!”

A mix of confusion and amusement spread across your face as you looked between the two of them, and Kim just shook her head and waved at you to go with Katie, so you let yourself be pulled away into whatever the night would bring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite telling you that you were paying for drinks, Katie was nice enough to only make you buy the shots, and despite Kim’s hesitance at you all going out mid-week, it was a surprisingly calm evening. You ended up sitting at a table with just a handful of your new teammates. Most of them were joking around with each other, teasing and taunting. You sat quietly, unsure of how inserting yourself into the dynamic would come off. You thought of a few quips throughout the conversations, but made sure to hold your tongue, choosing to sip on your beer instead.

“You always this quiet?”

You glanced over in the direction of the voice, inadvertently locking eyes with Leah Williamson. You knew who she was, obviously – won the Euros and all. What you hadn’t known was that she was even more attractive in person. You didn’t even know that was possible, but it was certainly a pleasant surprise.

“Not usually,” you responded, drawing in a breath. “Just can’t get a word in edgewise with this one goin’ off.”

You gestured towards Katie, who didn’t even register the comment. It did get a chuckle out of Steph and Foord, though, which made you relax a bit. Looking back at Leah, she was still looking at you, but didn’t seem to react otherwise. You paused for a moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek, before deciding to just go for it.

“So in the summer do you ever get a weird tan on your forehead from frowning so much?”

That did draw Katie’s attention; you could tell from the way she practically guffawed.

“Oy, she’s got you dead to fuckin’ rights!” she said, leaning over to elbow at Leah. The Aussies had laughed as well, as did Kim. Leah didn’t look impressed at the remark, but from the twitch of her lips you would swear she was biting back a smile. She had nice lips. Were you staring at her lips? Your eyes flashed back up to hers and she was still looking at you. She would’ve been able to tell where you were staring. That’s…embarrassing. You swallowed hard, and quickly looked away, taking a long swig of your drink. If anyone else at the table noticed the interaction, they didn’t react. Katie started in on you immediately, dragging you into whatever she had been talking about before, and from there you spent the rest of the evening integrating yourself into the team.

The bar was really only starting to fill up when Kim decided it was time for you all to get a move on. There was some light-hearted grumbling, but everyone was professional enough to know how to behave. You had popped into the toilet before leaving, and when you came out of the stall, Leah was washing her hands. You hesitated for a brief moment before moving up to the sink next to her to wash your own hands, the little bit of alcohol you consumed tonight just enough to embolden you.

“Man, Williamson, what kind of a world is this where you’ve got those legs and no rhythm,” you teased, quickly busying yourself with the most thorough hand-wash you’ve ever done so you didn’t have to look over at her and see how poorly she took the remark.

“You spend a lot of time thinking about my legs?”

You froze. It would seem she didn’t take it too poorly at all. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you turned off the sink and turned to look at her. She was staring at you again. Seemed like maybe she did that a lot.

“Yeah, maybe,” you finally said. She hmmed a bit and cocked her head to the side. The glint in her eye was the only thing that kept you from worrying you were being too forward, and you silently prayed it wasn’t a trick of the fluorescent lighting overhead.

“You think you’re being all charming, with your little jokes?”

“No, not really,” you shrugged. “I think I have the personality of a 14-year-old boy and it’s the only way I know how to flirt with you.”

Leah changed at that. Her posture shifted. Her shoulders dropped slightly. The glint in her eye was gone. You fucked up, you thought. You’ve been here for four days and you already fucked up.

You moved to apologize at the same time Leah moved to respond, but both of you were interrupted by the door to the bathroom slamming open and a group of girls rushing in. You turned around and pushed yourself up against the edge of the sink to get out of the way, but Leah dipped her head down and shoved out past them, taking the opportunity to escape without you being able to stop her.

Yep. You fucked up.

[stellamancer]

for the love of god, please don't perceive me.

barely proofread. established relationship. written with infinite loop!verse reader in mind, but can be read stand alone, especially i because i think they'd hate to be perceived too.

You roll over, turning your back to Gojo. He whines out your name but you ignore him. Dumb pricks like him do not get attention at bedtime.

Doesn't stop him from trying though.

He whimpers like a kicked puppy but you remain steadfast. You're used to these tactics of his— you can ignore them. Gojo should realize that too.

And he does, because he changes them.

You feel him scooch closer to you, the warmth rippling off his body calling to you like a siren song. It's hard, but you do not lean into him; you won't give him the satisfaction.

Then you realize Gojo has gone silent and in your experience that is never a good sign. You don't say anything. You don't budge.

Everything is completely still.

And then it's not.

Your entire body tenses up when you feel Gojo's hand at your back, sliding your shirt up as high as your stillness will allow. He cannot seriously be—

The bed groans as Gojo moves closer, his hand keeping your shirt secure as he approaches you. A shiver wracks your entire body when you feel the searing heat of his lips against your skin. You try not to move, try not to show that his actions are having an immediate effect.

He pulls away for a split second before going for another one, kissing a spot just beneath the first one. Gojo's other hand finds your waist, his fingers gripping you tightly, almost desperately, as he presses his mouth to your skin again.

With each kiss he moves lower and lower and lower still.

Your heart is beating wildly in your chest. It's so hard to stay still, but you must, you must, you must.

And then Gojo's mouth kisses the band of your pajama bottoms. He drags the hand on your waist down to your hip, fingertips dancing over the section of skin just above your pants. He traces the edge of them, before his fingers slide under to—

You can't take it any more.

You start to roll away but he's faster, grabbing you and flipping you around so that you're facing him. Gojo's legs tangle around yours as he yanks you close, arms winding around your form, trapping you in.

"Dammit!" you hiss.

"Got you now!" he gloats, cheeky, every bit of sensuality abandoned and thrown to the wayside now that he’s got you in his grasp.

Defiant, you flail around, trying to free yourself but it only results in Gojo's grip going tighter and eventually you give up and go completely still as if that'll get him to loosen his grip.

It doesn't.

"...so, how long are you gonna play dead for?" Gojo finally asks. He sounds amused, but there's something else in his tone— faint but enough to put you on edge. There's no doubt that he's planning something.

You don't want to, but you should say something; who knows what Gojo will do if you don't. Intent on feeding him some smart-ass remark, you tilt your head up only to find you've played right into his hands.

As soon as you move, so does Gojo, closing the distance between you to press his forehead to yours, angled so his lips are just hovering over yours.

You freeze. Gojo's breath is sweet, almost intoxicating, and suddenly you are at war with yourself. Instinct bids you move in closer, hungry and desperate for a taste of him, but your mind keeps you still, knowing that he's insatiable. You'd be going for just a taste but he would be consuming you whole.

"You alive in there?" he murmurs and the phantom touch of his lips makes it hard to focus. "Or do you need me to bring you back to the land of the living?"

Yes. No. Both words, both answers duke it out on the tip of your tongue and you don't know which one will come out on top.

Does it even matter? You know the real winner here will be Satoru Gojo like always.

The thought of it burns you a little. You hate letting him win and that's enough to give one side the edge it needs. "No."

He chuckles and you can tell he's not surprised in the slightest. "Oh yeah? Prove it."

You know what he's trying to get you to do, in fact he couldn't be more obvious. Truthfully, there's a part of you that wants it too—to feel his lips on yours, on you, breaths mingling as you grasp at him, fingers tangling in his hair while he tugs at your clothes, desperate for as much skin on skin contact as possible.

But there's another part of you that wants to deny him. It's the force of habit, really, the denial almost ingrained in your soul, hard-written into your body like your cursed technique. There's no reason to deny him anymore, not when you've become intimate like this and yet…

You cannot help it.

You wish you could take a third option.

(You wish you were more honest.)

There's little else you can do like this, angled and positioned for the kiss that Gojo has cornered you into. You feel his lips shift as he exhales, as if his grin is widening, as if he knows that you're realizing how inevitable the kiss is. That makes you only want to fight it more.

You just don’t know how.

“You know,” Gojo murmurs after a couple moments of silence and inaction on your part. “You’re not doing a good job at proving that you don’t need me to give you the kiss of life.”

“Shut up,” you grumble. “The fact that I’m responding should be enough for you.”

Gojo hums, making it look like he’s considering what you’ve said. You know better though, especially when he says, “...nah.”

“You are so…” you trail off as Gojo moves impossibly closer, his lips are feather light against yours and any normal person would probably consider this a kiss.

Not Gojo, though.

"So… what?" he probes. "Cool? Awesome? Irresistible?"

"None of the above."

Gojo’s arms and hands shift, his grip clearly loosening. For a split second, you consider taking the chance to see if you can free yourself from him, but you’re no fool; you know better— this is just preemptive positioning for whatever he has planned.

This is checkmate, then.

Gojo chuckles and you wonder if maybe he can read your mind as he says, his mouth hot on yours, voice a low timbre that stirs something deep in the pit of your stomach, “Guess I better prove it then.”

[cosmicstarlatte]

Levi A-Z Smut HCs (Obey Me!)

⬅Back to Smut HC A-Z Masterlist ◇

18+ only, minors do not interact.

My personal headcanons using this [prompt list]

The goal is to finish the whole list; you are welcome to request a letter so I get to it faster. I will work on it as quick as I can but keep in mind I do have a life & responsibilities lol. ^^

Last Updated: Oct.1.2023 (9 out of 26)

⚠️Notes: I'll tag any sections if needed. If you think a section needs a tag, kindly let me know.

A: Affair (Describe an extra-marital affair)

B: Birthday (Describe birthday sex)

C: Compliments (Mid- and post-sex compliments)

D: Dry Humping (Describe a dry-humping scene)

tags: punishment, humiliation Every once in a while you need to punish him, either he spent way too much on otaku merch or he's been missing classes too much, whatever. You'll usually sit on him & tease him as he tries to play on his PC. He knows what you're doing & he begs to feel you, please he'll 'do better' he says. Unfortunately for him his poor cock won't get that sweet relief exactly. he can beg & whine all he wants & rub desperately against you but he's still gonna have to cum in his pants.

E: Experimenting (Trying something new)

F: Firsts (First time having sex together)

It was clumsy & cute. The poor otaku was so nervous, he couldn't believe he could bag such a baddie. Someway somehow even with the nervousness he still felt calm with you, if that makes any sense. He was more worried about you than him & he just wanted to make you feel good. especially when he came rather quickly before the 1st round. Anyway, the nerd is packin' & those hands & tongue work skillfully. ...You definitely went a few good rounds into the night & left each other a mess before finally taking a sweet bath together. After, you guys cuddled under a warm blanket & watched a lighthearted anime. ♡

G: Gentle (Describe gentle/loving mid-sex gestures)

H: Handsy (When they can’t keep their hands to themselves)

I: Initiator (Who initiates most of the time? How?)

J: Jealous (“Claiming” a partner)

tags: Possessive, Love bites/Marking, Scenting Sweetie, he's the avatar of envy. When it's extreme, there's no hiding it, he gives in. That sweet shy nervous otaku? Gone. He's bringing & giving grand admiral energy, he's giving 'one of the powerful lords of hell.' Sure he could summon Lotan or use something else if he wants to, but all he really needs is to say "Go away" in a icy cold voice & glare that makes thousands of soldiers shiver. You almost feel sorry for any bastard that tries to make him jealous. Even after they leave though, he wants nothing more but to mark you with visible love bites & rub his scent all over you. He made it easily known to his brothers to not touch what's his.

K: Kitchen (Describe a sex scene in the kitchen)

L: Likes (What they like in the bedroom)

M: Morning (Describe morning sex)

It happens frequently hehe. You tend to stay over a lot to watch a marathon or play games. Levi's libido is strong, he's always down to fuck in the morning, it brightens his spirit. Watching you take his cock & filling you up right before school is the perfect way to start the day. It's especially motivating when he knows you walk around the entire day with his cum between your legs, he cant wait to come home & fuck you again. (If he can wait that long)

N: Never (Things they would never try)

O: Orgasm (Describe coming--who comes first? What do they say? How does the other person know it’s approaching?)

P: Playlist (A playlist for getting down and dirty; will probably include a lap dance song, a song for making love, and a song that represents their sex life)

Q: Quiet (Reaction to a quiet partner)

You know what I'm not gonna lie, I think he'd be just a tad disappointed at first. Of course he reminds himself a lot of porn is fake anyway & then he really tunes in to the small delicious sounds you do reveal. The faces you make. The little bits you let him hear are still so very fucking hot & sexy. He's the one making you sound like that either way~

R: Ruttish (Signs that they’re horny)

Ah...Levi is easy. He's not very good at hiding it. A flushed face and a small sheen of sweat to him. He gets a little extra irritable as well. The biggest sign is the tent in his pants when he's around you. Sorry, but he doesn't hide it very well, it's obvious when he looks like he's trying to hide something when he tries to cover up down there. (I wonder if he does it on purpose?)

S: Safe Word (How often is the safe word used? Why?)

T: Teasing (Who’s the tease in the relationship? What do they do? How often?)

U: Undressing (Strip teasing a partner)

V: Videos (Sending NSFW videos to each other)

Do you realize what you've done? The first time you sent him a video, he got instantly hard & couldnt stop cumming to that video. Unfortunately for him he kept getting hard any time he thought about it that week, it was embarrassing walking around with a constant erection. His first few videos in response were a little clumsy, but it turned you on. He was a loud moaner & he loved to whimper. Little whiney pants when he was getting close always did it for you. He made sure to take better video, especially audio when he learned you really loved his moans. ♡

W: Wedding Night (Consummating the marriage)

tags: overstimulation The only thing on his mind is getting you off the entire night until you're crying & begging him to stop. Until you're drained. He knows it's about the two of you celebrating but...you're his life partner now! He's so grateful you chose him out of everyone. Please let him worship you tonight, lay back & let him handle it. He promises he's enjoying this as much as you are. Promise.

X: XXX (What kind of porn does the person watch? How often?)

tags: double dicks, creepy!pervy!levi I'm not going to lie to y'all, Levi's a freak. (Okay we knew this) He watches all kinds of porn, both real & hentai. I'd say it's nearly an every day thing, it's hard taking care of two monster cocks & he needs to empty his balls. His favorite? POV hentai vids. Especially ones that look like you... Perhaps he has a few commissioned hentais where they look like the two of you...

Y: Yawn (How they sleep post-sex)

Z: Zoo (Their animalistic qualities in the bedroom)

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

How do you pick which part of a song you put in a clip? I’ve noticed you don’t just play the beginning of the song. Do you agonize about the best part to showcase of a song or is it more random?

Most of the time I just have to choose between my favourite segments of it so it can be pretty easy, but yeah some songs are so difficult to find a good section to represent it without cutting ten different parts into one :'D especially slow-building songs lol. There's only one that comes to mind that I failed terribly by not posting a better clip. (i'm so sorry wyclef!) But hopefully most of them have managed to get people interested in hearing the whole thing! :) ����

[d20brainrot5]

I wanna talk about suffering

The whole song is a very electronic song, which if you'll remember, indicates magic, divinity, or anything above mortals.

Literally the opening tripped me up when I first heard it because it's so different than what I expected from a song called SUFFERING.

It's very upbeat, and that's what makes it work

Additionally, Penelope's instrument is the viola. Everytime Odysseus is thinking about her (except for in Monster), a viola plays her motif. But here, when Odysseus is supposedly TALKING to Penelope, the viola is noticeably absent.

And the way her name is sung is so different than anything else in the show.

The entire song is hinting at this not actually being Penelope, simply because of how different it is to any other time she's mentioned.

Odysseus saying he's afraid of the water, while odd to bring up in the first song of the SECOND act, isn't entirely unbelievable.

It would really suck for him, especially being at sea for so long, and it seems like something that should have been established in like.. Full Speed Ahead, but okay. Sure. Fear of the water. Why not.

That's not something that immediately stands out to me as odd. It's Penelope's line shortly after that caught me.

"Come play with me and our daughter"

We, as an audience, know that Odysseus has a son. We know that he has one child, and that child is a son. Not a daughter. Now, where the hell did "Penelope" get a daughter? And why does she think they have a daughter when they don't?

It's such a quick line that it's quickly overshadowed by the chorus that follows, which doesn't give the listener much time to really think to far into it. Which makes sense.

The whole point of this is that the siren is convinced that Ody is under her spell. The siren song literally makes it so you don't question things.

Why would Penelope be here? Why does she want you to get in the water so badly? You don't have a daughter?

Those are all questions that wouldn't cross Odysseus' mind if he was under the spell. A lot of the time, Sirens straight up make shit up and sailors don't question it.

Because they can't.

That's how the siren song works.

Problem for the siren: Odysseus isn't under the spell.

But she doesn't know that.

So by quickly brushing past the mention of their nonexistent daughter, there is very little chance for Ody to think anything is off.

Assuming he is spell bound.

Which he isn't.

So that doesn't work.

I've seen a lot of people mention the tone of voice used on the "oh no"

I didn't catch it at first, but it is very much a sarcastic "oh no", like "oh, how horrible... if only I cared"

The song sounds like a really nice duet between lovers for most of it. It genuinely sounds like a conversation they could have had, but there is one part that breaks that illusion.

After Ody says "but only if you answer a question or two," the song enters a state of quick exposition dumping. It remains fast pace, giving Odysseus almost a rap-like verse.

The Siren's response is very different than the rest of the song. She sounds like she's reciting a proverb or something.

And that low piano note is what really breaks the illusion. At first, this section made me think it was a song of Odysseus reflecting on their journey, just framed as him talking to Penelope.

Made me kinda worry for Ody's sanity but what else is new at this point

The low piano note is very similar to the one in There Are Other Ways, after Circe says the prophet is dead. The point is to create a sense of dread.

In Suffering, when she says "the lair of Scylla", the piano indicates to the listener that at some point, when they reach that place, shit is gonna go down.

The rest of the music cuts out, leaving only the ominous tune and the foreboding lyrics.

Then the siren gets all upbeat again, the music cuts, and the upbeat, jumpy tune resumes like nothing happened.

[lots-of-sun]

A/n: Somehow I always end up writing about people walking LOL. Also a lot of my fic titles come from song lyrics!

Tamao Serizawa x Fem!Reader

SO KISS ME

Working at a bookstore always had its interesting experiences, especially when I'm usually the only person on shift everyday. Despite still being in high school, I was always rostered on, I guess being in senior year was bound to have it's downsides. The boss was always so picky about who worked here, not that it really mattered as long as you were competent. But over the two years I'd been employed here, I seem to be the only one who stuck. Not that my boss was ever mean or harsh, just didn't accept lazy or disrespectful staff. That's how I always ended up on the same schedule every week. Not that I minded, consistency was oddly relaxing, not having to worry about what to do next, always knowing.

The shop is small, yet packed with book shelves and a single table seating area right at the front of the main floor, across from the counter. I'd always loved the vintage and cozy vibe this building had, tucked away on a back street, like a little treasure that you'd only be able to find if you looked hard enough or stumbled across by accident.

One thing that kept me around this job for so long, was the people. With every face that stepped through that entrance came a new story, a new corner of the world I'd never learned about, a new adventure. The odd sense of home I got from the regulars who frequented for the newest reads or even the classics, always put a smile on my face. Though there was someone who stopped by often, despite never buying anything.

Tamao Serizawa had slipped into my life fairly nonchalantly, so much so that I don't entirely remember ever meeting him in the first place. Though I do recall the first time I'd seen him, walking past the open doors of the bookstore about a year and a half ago. He'd been surrounded by his group of friends, laughing along with them. He hadn't noticed me back then, but that changed a few months later.

I had easily forgotten about seeing him, I saw almost a hundred faces a day, even if it was just from people watching when the store was dead. It was a Monday afternoon when he'd entered the shop with his usual gang, I'd been adding pricing labels to newly arrived books from behind the counter near the door. They all wore classic school boy uniforms, yet they all seemed to be tweaked differently, defining them to being individual. They'd piled in near the entrance and brushed off my offer for assistance, though a pair of eyes seemed to linger on me. Even after they had looked around and left without purchasing anything, I couldn't shake the feeling of having someone watching me. Though I tried to brush it off as nonchalantly as I could.

That was until they began to come in more frequently, sometimes it was the whole group and other times it was only two or three of them but Tamao was always amongst them. Soon, they'd started spending most afternoons in the small seating area near the front of the store, never reading but always talking, plotting things I'd only eavesdropped on when I got bored. It became apparent to me pretty quickly that they were a part of one of the neighboring gang schools, though I didn't judge, there was no point, not when I didn't know them. After their first few rendezvous, they began including me in conversations, some were incredibly trivial, the kind of chats you'd have with friends. And others were serious, asking for advice and even if I didn't know how to answer, I tried my best.

On most weekends, Serizawa came in alone. Browsing the visual novel section, making small talk and asking for recommendations. He was always more engaged and at ease when he was alone, like he had more time to think without someone talking in his ear all the time. It's something I found comfort in, getting to see two separate sides to the same person. I wonder if he was like this with his friends, if he was actually always this calm and I just overlooked it when he was surrounded by others. But I definitely grew attracted to this side of him and eventually began to watch him more often, even if it was brief glances in his direction.

Today was no different than any other, heading straight to work after my final class of the day, changing out of my uniform in the stores bathroom and relieving my co-worker from their shift. I head out to the main floor and take a seat on the wooden stool behind the counter. My eyes scan the open notebook that sits next to the cash register, going over the list of responsibilities I have to complete before closing the store for the night.

Then the entrance bell rings and I don't even need to look up to know who it is, I'd heard them before they even made it to the door. The familiar sound of chatter and heavy shoes against the hardwood floors makes me smile. I raise my head to see exactly the people I'd expected.

"Hey guys, finally decide to indulge yourselves in literature?" I joke, knowing the answer is a resounding no. I take in all of their appearances, looking how they always do, save for a few extra bruises. My eyes linger on Serizawa for a split second, his gaze already fixed on me by the time I look towards him.

"Not today, but maybe one of these days" Tokio speaks up first, over the chorus of greetings I received.

"I could use a good book" Tokaji mumbles, already heading over to the seating area with Tsutsumoto.

"Serizawa's definitely trying to indulge in something else" The Mikami brothers whisper to each other, snickering at their own teasing words. They earn a slap on the back of the head by the man himself, the same hand retracting to run through his short hair.

"Don't mind them, monkeys haven't had their banana today" Serizawa's voice is thick as he lunges towards the brothers who scurry away to join everyone else at the table. He turns back to me, giving a small smile. "Yellow suits you" He adds softly, referring to the crew neck sweater I wore, before turning to join the others.

I smile at his words, feeling my heart leap in my chest. My eyes follow him to where he sits, it's kind of odd seeing him so outwardly different when he is around his friends, knowing there's a whole other side to him. I need to stop staring before any of them notice, even worse if it's Tamao himself. I busy myself with the duties of the checklist that's been taunting me since I sat down, but don't miss the feeling of someone watching me.

I hadn't even noticed how late it had gotten until I come out from the back room and it's getting dark outside. Tamao and his gang had left not too long ago, having said their goodbyes before disappearing down the street, while I continued to pack up for the night.

I let out a sigh of relief, happy to be finally heading home. I double check that I've locked the doors properly before turning to start my walk home, maybe I'll catch a taxi instead, I'm tired tonight. But as I turn to my left, there he is. Tamao Serizawa, standing under a yellowed street lamp with a half finished cigarette hanging from his lips, which he exhales the smoke through his nose. He's facing me, watching me like he usually does. Except this isn't usual, he's never here when I close the store, not that I've noticed at least. But overall, he seems to have been waiting for me. He flicks the cigarette to the pavement and puts it out with his foot, clearing his throat as he takes a few slow steps towards me.

"Serizawa? Is everything okay?" I ask, a slight concern filling my voice. Blame it on the overthinking, but I jump to the conclusion he might need support, whether it be emotionally or physically. Though as he lets out a calm chuckle, I think he might want something else.

"I hope so" He responds shortly, a smirk ghosting his lips as he stops when he's close enough to talk more gently. "Sorry to make you worry, I just thought I could walk you home." He clears his throat, "It can get... lonely"

I sort of blink at him as I purse my lips, trying to hold back a smile at his reasoning. It was clearly an excuse but I let it slide, barely. I notice the way the corner of his lips quirk up and his eyes squint, obviously being aware of how blatant his defense is. Now we're both standing here, staring at each other in the dim light of the side walk, clearly trying not to laugh. He tries to break his expression but ends up falling into a deeper grin.

"Yep" I squeak out, closing my eyes as my voice cracks with a rising laugh. "It can, how thoughtful of y... you" My slight pause comes from the lurch of my body as I try my hardest not to laugh at the expression he's making, he looks like he's trying to hold in a sneeze and I probably don't look much different.

We both let out a small snicker at each other, which devolves into a chuckle and a laugh. It feels like I'm melting into this moment and the implications of why he'd want to walk me home has my heart racing. We try to compose ourselves, a small giggle here and there. He looks down at his shoes before back up, seemingly regained his previous demeanor, despite the curl of a smile on his lips.

"Let's go, it's late as is" He tries to be serious and I let him, let him be who he wants to be. I nod in agreement with him and as I begin to walk, he follows.

It's not long before we're in my neighborhood, I'd always lived close to where I worked, not wanting to have to take the packed trains everyday. We'd walked in near silence the whole way here. It didn't bother me though, if anything it was sort of endearing, not feeling like I have to talk all the time. Serizawa is the first to break the silence as we near my house.

"I don't want to mess this up" His voice is vulnerable, it almost shocks me into freezing but I match his slowing steps and look towards him. I open my mouth to speak, ask if somethings going on but he cuts me off before I can.

"You mean a lot to me, more than I thought you would. You were always beautiful to me and I couldn't stop myself from coming back to you, even when I wasn't sure. But now I am sure, I know how I feel and I don't want you to slip away without ever telling you." His voice is the calm, soft tone it always was when we were alone together and my heart leaps to my throat at the realization of what he's trying to say.

"Serizawa, are y-"

"I like you a lot and if you are willing, I'd love to take you out" He speaks again before I can finish my sentence. He seems so assured in what he's saying. A smile is now growing on my lips as I go to respond, to tell him I'd love to.

"Tama-" And once again, before I can say any more he interrupts, this time sounding slightly more nervous and he holds an unreadable expression. He brings his hand up to run his fingers through his hair.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way but I needed to at least tell you, I wouldn't be able to let you go if I didn't say anything" He concludes sincerely and this time he finally looks towards me. I can't help but grin and the heat that's rushes to my cheeks tells me I'm blushing. He looks unsure, like he thinks I might just start laughing at him.

"You know what I love about you?" I start, a small laugh escaping my lips. "How you let me finish my sentences" It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders as he mirrors my smile, giving a small chuckle. It's my turn to cut him off as he opens his mouth to say something.

"And, I love when you come around and the way you run your hand through your hair when you're nervous" My grin widens as he looks away slightly, seemingly surprised I'd noticed his anxious habit. I place my hand on his arm softly, "And I'd love to go out with you"

His smile widens and his expression is something I've never seen him have before, it's a mixture of relief and adoration. The way his eyes are trained on mine in the soft glow of the street lamps, it has my heart pounding. I let myself relax, relieved that my feelings weren't one sided.

"Then it's settled, let's date?" He asks, sounding like he's double checking that's what I really meant.

I can't help but grin wider, shaking my head softly in disbelief. Pushing the gate to my house and holding it open with my body, I face out into the street to look at him, I nod reassuring.

"Yeah, let's date, unless you've already changed your mind" I tease him softly and I watch as he rolls his eyes sarcastically. It feels odd how easily we seems to fit in with each other, feeling closer and more confident.

"I could kiss you right now" He says those words like it's the most natural thing to say in this moment and maybe it is, but I still feel my face burn in a deeper blush. He lets out a chuckle and stuffs his hands in his pockets, preparing to leave. But I don't want him to go, not yet at least.

"Then do it" I take a step closer to him, hearing the gate squeak softly as it moves with me.

He looks up towards me now that I'm standing on the small step that leads to the gate, his eyes shine with something I can't quite recognize. He takes a step forwards as well and I lean down slightly so I can reach his face. One of his hands withdraws from his pocket, raising to rest on the curve of my waist and my hand moves to cradle his jaw. Our lips connect in a soft but quick kiss, one that leaves me wanting more. His lips are cold but inviting and I don't want this to end. As I pull back gently, I feel his hand leave my side and mine retracts back to tuck under the warmth of my crew neck.

"Goodnight, Tamao" I whisper, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to his cheek.

I enter the front area of my house and begin to close the gate as he steps out of view behind the solid fence of my property, not before hearing a small 'night' come from him. As I approach my front door, the hum of a tv playing fills my ears. Though as I step up on the front step that leads to the threshold of the building, I turn back to look over the top of the fence, watching the back of Tamao's body get further and further away.

"Yes!" It's soft but I still hear it and watch as Serizawa pumps his fist in the air like he's won a great victory. The sight makes me cover my mouth to hold in a small laugh. I finally look away and I find myself still grinning. I don't want the way my heart lurches for him to stop and something tells me it won't ever, something tells me he'll keep my heart safe.

[mintydotdoodle]

spoilers up to the most recent events of riptide (ep115)

I don't know what possessed me (the spirit of Meryl Streep maybe???) but "The Winner Takes it All" works so well with the current state of Chip in the black sea. Like the idea of Chip eventually just coming to accept his loss and losing this inherit hope he's been holding so close. (which I don't think we would fully reach in cannon, but possibly something similar to how he broke down post Gillion drawing the card in the feywild with him talking about giving up in pirating to Jay) BUT LIKE STICK WITH ME HERE BC IM GONNA CONNECT TO SOME LYRICS first off : The winner takes it all The loser's standing small (Chip being physically smaller or emotionally smaller due to literally losing part of his body and some of his sanity from the black sea) Beside the victory That's her destiny (as a foil to Gillion beginning to move away from his destiny thing, him coming to accept that he was meant to lose himself in the black sea)

I was in your arms Thinking I belonged there I figured it made sense Building me a fence

Building me a home (home being both the black rose ship and albatross) Thinking I'd be strong there (Thinking is the key word here I feel, because every time Chip thinks he finds a home it can't help be swept away from him both in losing physical home and people) But I was a fool Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice (concepts of the whole group being pushed around by the supposed destiny and will of the gods) Their minds as cold as ice And someone way down here Loses someone dear (THIS SPECIFIC PART LIKE WOAH because it could work as both Chip's loss of his first family in the form of Arlin and Capt. Rose, and Jay and Gill losing Chip to the black sea)

The winner takes it all (takes it all) The loser has to fall (has to fall) It's simple and it's plain (it's so plain) Why should I complain? (Why complain?) (this is where those feelings of hopelessness and helplessness would come in)

But tell me, does she kiss Like I used to kiss you? Does it feel the same When she calls your name?

Somewhere deep inside You must know I miss you (Chip opening up for this moment of absolute unabashed sincerity about missing so much. Missing Arlin, missing who he once was, who he could've been, missing the life he could have with Jay and Gill) But what can I say? Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide (will decide) The likes of me abide (me abide) (could possibly connect to Niklaus and his heart) Spectators of the show (of the show) Always staying low (staying low)

The game is on again (on again) A lover or a friend (or a friend) A big thing or a small (big or small) The winner takes it all (takes it all)

I don't wanna talk If it makes you feel sad And I understand You've come to shake my hand (i supposed final goodbye for Chip [Which I can't see actually happening])

I apologize If it makes you feel bad Seeing me so tense No self-confidence But you see (just this whole section in this self pitying apology to Gillion that he isn't who he once was, especially after Jay leaves)

The winner takes it all The winner takes it all (this part in the song and the way it's sung is so heart wrenching and I just get massive Chip vibes I cannot explain)

So the winner takes it all And the loser has to fall Throw the dice, cold as ice Way down here, someone dear Takes it all, has to fall And it's plain, why complain?

This could also just be my continuation of my obsessive Chip and musical theatre agenda, who knows?

[project-sekai-facts]

What is your favorite commissioned song for each character? (Sorry if you've already answered this before)

this has been sitting in my inbox since december because I was waiting for all characters to get their 4th song... so minori has 5 songs now screw waiting it's not massively likely that Ena4 or Toya4 are gonna beat my top comms for them.

Ichika: either the WALL or Ryuusei no Pulse. I keep changing my mind on which one I like more. I don't really have much to say about them because I don't have either ranked particularly high, but Chiirurin is always a good vocalist, her high note in the WALL is really good.

Saki: Stella. This has been my favorite L/n song since I started playing. I'm not entirely sure why, it just really struck a chord with me. I love the lyrics as well. I'm actually listening to it while writing this lol.

Honami: STAGE OF SEKAI. I really love the emotion in this one, especially in the final chorus. The instrumental is really good too and you honestly can feel the emotion in the song through that alone. Regulus is really good too.

Shiho: Voices. It's just a total banger. The guitar solo is probably my favorite part of the song if I'm being honest. I hope they recommission yuyoyuppe at some point.

Minori: Tenshi no Clover. All her songs are really good, so this was hard to pick. I love energetic idol songs like that and it fits Minori really well. Zenshin zenrei MORE MORE JUMP!

Haruka: IF. rip haruka for not getting her 4th song. I'm not massive on any of her comms to be honest. I do like IF and Float Planner, they're just quite low on my ranking comparatively. Also I keep going back and forth on which one I like more but right now it's IF.

Airi: MORE! JUMP! MORE!. This was my original favorite MMJ song. It's super catchy and fun. Even if the lyrics are nothing to do with the event or Airi, I still think it's a great song.

Shizuku: Metamo Re:born. My favorite MMJ song! Really catchy and has a nice beat to it. I like how 'sparkly' it sounds as well.

Kohane: Hitsuji ga Ippiki. The instrumental is so good, and this is probably one of VBS' best songs vocally. Akina especially sounds amazing.

An: Awake Now. We had to wait so long for this but it was so worth it. Again the instrumental is great and Jiena sounds so good in this song, I love An's solo version. I have this ranked just above Hitsuji on my tierlist lol

Akito: CRaZY. This song made my change my top 5 songs for the first time since spring 2022. It's just so good and all of VBS sounds amazing as always. I also like how it reflects Akito's character development from the event. My favorite rotation 4 song so far.

Toya: RAD DOGS. My original #2 song and current #3. I love the combination between classical and EDM, and HachiojiP did such a good job considering he didn't have any experience with classical. Also the Bad Dogs rap section is so good.

Tsukasa: Mr. Showtime. If I'm being honest I don't usually like showtunes like this a whole lot, they can be very hit or miss for me, but this is very much a hit. Daichan did really well in this song. My favorite part though is the lyrics, I love how Yama used different meanings for certain phrases in parentheses.

Emu: Hoshizora Orchestra or Niccori Chousa-tai no Theme. Again I keep changing my mind and they're pretty much tied for me. I like them for completely different reasons as well; Hoshizora Orchestra is pretty melancholic despite it's cutesy tune, and Niccori is just really fun to listen to.

Nene: Hoshizora no Melody. Easy pick for me, I love the instrumental a whole lot and listened to the preview over and over at the time. Also the lyrics are so good, I love how they tell the entire story of Wandasho and show how much they mean to each other.

Rui: potato ni Natte iku. Still my favourite song in the game, I'm really never moving on from this one. I just really like the instrumental. Showtime Ruler is an incredibly close 2nd place though (really close. guitar solo at the end goes hard and also "I will never feel lonely ever again")

Kanade: Samsa. It's just an amazing song, but I also appreciate how teniwoha managed to connect the novella to Kanade and Mafuyu's story. Probably my favorite song from rotation 3.

Mafuyu: Bug. I know it's a boring choice but it's a good song, it's popular for a reason. Also RUIRUI'S SOLO VERSION. She's such a talented vocalist and is really good at conveying Mafuyu's emotions.

Ena: Kagirinaku Haiiro e. I've actually always liked the instrumental of this one. Also the lyrics fit Ena's story really well. However the final chorus totally steals the show, I loop that part of the song specifically a lot. Favourite Niigo song.

Mizuki: IDSMILE. I actually didn't like this song much at first because it's not the sort of thing I usually like. The lyrics are what got me to like it as much as they do. I've mentioned before that Mizuki is my favorite niigo member, so I'm slighly biased in that regard, but they really struck an emotional chord with me.

If anyone's interested my top 10 is potato ni Natte iku -> Showtime Ruler -> RAD DOGS -> CRaZY -> Beyond the way -> Cinema -> Kagirinaku Haiiro e -> CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY -> IDSMILE -> Gekkou

[gee-arid]

Hey, about your Veilleuse and Ailes Rouge au, how would the episode Silencer go? Also it would be purrfect right? (pun intended)

The main progress point of this episode would be Luka recognising Ailes Rouges 'heart song' (he can keep his magical powers :3 theres a whole subsection of magic thats hinted at in mlb that never really gets touched on, but its still kinda cool).

This would probably lead to Luka getting closer to Nath in an attempt to help him. This could then lead to either romance conflict (although i think any attraction towards Luka would be one-sided), or mutual appreciation of taste.

Context:

I headcanon Luka has known Nathaniel for atleast a few years, not very well mind you, but in the way one knows vaguely of their little sisters strange classmates.

Nath was pretty... introverted before being pushed by Tikki and later Marc, so while Juleka and Nathaniel would work together on school projects (when Rose and Alix werent available) out of quiet kid solidarity, they probably didnt know too much about eachother. Still- Luka has been around him enough to pick up his song, especially once Nath starts being more friendly and actually making friends with Jules.

Marc however hasnt been hanging around the boat house that long, if ever, so Luka doesnt recognise him.

Anyway, silly episode bits:

Nathaniel is brought in by KS to help design the costumes. Hes a costume guy while Marinettes a fashion gal. He and Marinette work together to fix up the costumes.

(Silencer off camera having stolen Ailes voice)

Ailes does loose his voice to Silencer. But this doesnt affect them all that much, excluding being immediately thrown off. Upon meeting up our boys figure, as long as they can break his helmet and catch a voice to use, it doesnt matter if they have a charm or not. Besides, Ailes has gotten better at catching little flying things.

Neither Ailes or Vei like Bob Ross at all, and do make him spill on live TV in the end. Probably less subtly than Ladybug and Chat Noir did. Our heroes are artists and dont stand for art thieves.

Bonus Kitty Section! and Silencer!Luka designs:

Im... not completely happy with them. But i wanted Silencer to resemble the Kitty Section costume. And his 'cape' flickers when he 'talks' (through the speakers on his hands and chest) like audio recordings.

[crushedsweets]

ninakate or any wlw nina ship w/ good luck babe by chappell roan,,,,

oh god. ok youre so right that this works with any wlw nina ship, but im gonna go through the lyrics and describe some toxic ass ninakate scenario that comes to mind LMFAOOOO SORRY I LIKE TOXIC YURI

ok so in an AU of my AU where ninakate happens, it all starts after nina is stabbed by jeff. they make her heal in the proxy cabin cuz theyre worried jeff will break into ninas apartment and finish the job(he has no interest in doing that tho). tim/brian/toby/jack are busy with zalgoid issues, SO kate sorta...keeps watch on nina while she heals. cuz of that, nina starts latching onto kate. between kate cleaning the stab wound, bringing her water, wrapping her up in gauze, nina crying into kates arms unprompted, asking kate to sleep in the same bed with her cuz she cant sleep, nina asking kate quiet questions for hours while the radio hums and rain pours outside... they share an awkward, "meaningless" kiss. nina blamed it on emotions running high. kate didnt know what to blame

(this section is HEAVILY inspired by still a friend by the back seat lovers, the entire song is very my-au ninakate)

SOOOOO i wanna go from THAT SONG into good luck babe by chappell roan...

"you can say that we are nothing" after the kiss, nina would probably be like 'we should go to sleep' and the next morning laugh about it and tease kate and be like "thats so funny, i never kissed a girl like that before. was that your first kiss? oh my god kate are you serious?! we should probably keep that between us, huh? its okay, it wont happen again!" and kates just nodding along while her brain is going 100mph. but kates perceptive as hell and she'd easily see all the little changes that happen afterwards. nina's gaze falling, her hands lingering, little comments she makes. and it'd make kate feel kinda stupid. "guess im the fool, with her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof" toby ends up 'inheriting' an old rusty red pickup truck from tim. i doubt it would have a sun roof, but i could see toby and nat up front, while nina and kate are in the back (like, the BACK bed of the truck). nina would be giggling, tilting her head back and her hair is flying like crazy and her arms are out and kate cannoooot get that damn kiss out of her head, especially when nina looks like that.

im thinking maybe it happens again. the group was hanging out, but nat and toby went off somewhere else, leaving nina and kate together. and kate offers to walk nina home, but ninas like 'what if i spend the night instead?' and kates immediately like Oh jesus christ okay. and they talk . and chat. and banter. and nina would bring up that stupid kiss and say something about 'i wouldnt mind doing that again. i mean, as friends.' and kates head is spinning.

and despite all of this, nina is still in a bad headspace. before, during, and after her relationship with jeff, she has HORRIBLY low self esteem and a need for attention/validation, and she will seek it out anywhere. she'd blame it on a million and one things "oh its just for fun, oh i was just drunk, oh its not that serious, he was cute, i got his number!". especially when trying to heal her bruised ego after the whole jeff thing (alongside a few huge arguments with toby calling her out on her BS). and kate listens, and even though she's really blunt and straightforward, she doesnt feel mean. not like toby or nat or jack. so even when kates like "that doesnt make sense" "that seems stupid though" "why would you do that" ninas just laughing and being like "it just felt right in the moment! im having fun, kate!". she thinks kate just doesnt get it, on account of never being in a relationship, but kate knows whats going on. she knows why nina is the way that she is, but all she has to say is . GOODLUCK LMFAO. shes not here to control or convince or plead with anybody, and def not nina. and i think that would kinda irk nina a little. she'd kiss kate, then a couple nights later talk about a guy she met at a bar, and kate just side eyes her and is like 'have fun' and nina wishes there was more

ok whether their kisses turn into anything else, i think theyd both continually agree to keep it a secret from everyone else. it would just be a huge mess that neither of them want to address, especially kate dealing with toby. but i think once kate starts getting a little affection and whatnot that she's never received (she's been in the chaser mode for over half her life, mind you), it would feel incredibly suffocating but also incredibly freeing. like she feels like something new has opened up to her, something that she got locked out of years ago. and nina has the key, unfortunately

ok this is where the song and story falls apart a little cuz ninas not getting married to anyone. i guess this could be a hypothetical where she goes back to jeff for a moment in time, but.. ehh.... dunno how i feel about that. and i dont think the 'i told you so' fits kate cuz she just kinda lets nina do whatever. asks questions and is like ??? and maybe has a bit of an attitude when saying 'good luck with that', but she never tells her what to do

i know "the feeling" is more about being into girls and how you cant hide from it, but i dont think the whole lesbianism thing would be their issue. in a ninakate interpretation of the song, i think 'the feeling' is either ninas issues with romance and self worth, kates ache to be with someone despite thinking she has no right to it, ninas guilt for leading kate on, and of course their literal romantic feelings...

anyway. anyway. um. cries. i just i really. i really im just. im fond of lesbians alright.

[that-tall-queer-bassist]

Live Reaction of my SECOND listen through of EPIC: The Musical

okay i want my Thoughts after finishing the first listen through today (over the course of a week) but i need to listen Again so here we fucking go peoples. Reblogging with each new saga to keep things organized a bit :)

The Troy Saga

we start!!

The Horse And The Infant

"little ajax stay back" 🥺

"You're not ready"

"I could raise him as my own" I WISH PLEASE

the whole section with overlapping dialogue of possibilities and the tragic ends they would lead to

i wanna know who that guy speaking was i don't remember

Just a Man

its so tragic how this infant reminds him of his own son like what the fuck thats so fucked up how could jorge do this to us. OW.

"close your eyes and spare yourself the view" Q^Q

this whole song gets me. especially paired with WolfyTheWitch's animatic to it. augh.

GOD knowing that all of these metaphors come back later and become Relevant i CANT OMG

"Forgive me" is probably the worst thing he could say because i do and i can't at the same time, but he's not asking me to forgive him, he's asking this INFANT who he KILLED AUGH

Full Speed Ahead

600 men. 601 with Odysseus

god this really is just setting the scene huh. and well!!

He really did wanna go home as fast as he could

OH MY GOD MY BOI I FORGOT ABOUT HIM AND HIS OPEN ARMS

his voice is like. angelic. wow.

"and if we don't return, then 600 men can make this place burn" i forgot about that woah

Open Arms

"My friend" my heart hurts

"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" oh sweet boy

the sound of a sword being drawn is so good omg

"600 friends are waiting for us to show our faces" XD bruh not subtle

EVEN LESS SUBTLE

Polites i love you

"My friend" you are friends yes please remember that please

Oh i forgot the lotus eaters sent them to "this food filled cave"

"I see in your face there is so much guilt in your heart" AUGH MY BOY

the repeating by odysseus...

"You can relax my friend" at the end like AUGH thats so GOOD and then the immediate next song being Warrior of the Mind !!! very good very tragic

Warrior of the Mind

immediately the music change raises the tension

the way Odysseus immediately knows who she is, hears or something, i love it so much.

"Have you forgotten your purpose? Let me remind you." AUGH hes not a man, but a tool

He seems like more of a conquest or trophy than a person to her, which is fair given he's a mortal and she's a goddess but damn this really does just keep happening to him, being a gods plaything huh?

THIS CHORUS GOES SO SO HARD THOUGH

"Maybe one day he'll follow me and we'll make a greater tomorrow" the way she sings this makes my brain so happy

the whole chorus just scratches my brain in such a good way omg

the slowness. "show yourself"

HIS LITTLE LAUGH

the whole exchange honestly

"nah, don't be modest, i know you're a goddess, so lets be honest-" YES YES YES

"YOU ARE ATHENA" WOOOOOOOOOOOO CLAPPING CHEERING

his description of her is great

"goddess and man, bestest of friends!" "We'll see where it ends" "okay" asdghkjsa im wheezing

THEIR DUET

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

"ending on "don't disappoint me" is so mean

[wr1t3w1tm3]

The Outsiders a New Musical Cast Recording Reaction

Here you go @its-a-hare-pom-pom

Please note: I do not actually know the voices of who is who. I am having to assume who is who in some of the songs so I'm doing my best. I looked up a cast list for this. This is confusing and I'd need several more listens through to figure out who is and that's probably not gonna happen anytime soon (ya'll fill find out why in a later post).

Also, I curse a lot and there's a brief mention of suicide in my section on I could talk to you all night, so be warned.

Tulsa '67: Interesting how they changed Johnny's jumping to just a week before the events of the musical. I don't mind that change. I kinda like it? Maybe?

Okay. I need to rant a bit here. I grew up just a day's drive from Tulsa in a town not very dissimilar from it. Just switch East and West and you're halfway there. (Meaning in my city the East side was the old money and West was more of everyone else/the new money side of town).

Ponyboy's diatribe about how people get stuck in the town for life hits home for me because, like, of the nearly 300 person graduating class from my highschool, a vast majority of them went to school either in town or within the state. While I'm technically still in the state, I'm right across the river from our neighboring state so the line's a bit funky. I feel his longing to get the hell out. I feel the sort of resentment he feels towards Darry, who could've been a sports star had circumstances panned out differently. I feel his heartache for Soda when he mentions that his girlfriend up and left and broke his heart. My little sister and younger brother are both up-and-coming in similar ways to Darry (albeit a different sport for my sister) and Soda. The only real difference is that my family isn't just above the poverty line. In this economy maybe we're starting to slip down there, but if that's the only difference... shit. I'm in for a ride.

Moving on...

Grease got a Hold: I did watch the performance of this for Good Morning America or whatever it showed up on so this isn't my first time listening. This is the first time I can't tell who is who. I looked up the cast so I think the first singer is Dally? IDK. It's the whole gang except Johnny. This is when I discovered that Steve was in fact a named ensemble character.

Not my favorite song. But I'm sure that it introduces everyone well. I don't mind it, just def my least favorite of the ones I'd heard before.

Runs in the Family: I'm pretty sure it's a Darry song. Shit. I feel this song. I am literally Darry in this song, except I have parents, they're just not around a whole lot due to work.

I think I mentioned here that I work at a Nursing home. And especially during the winter if I worked twelves (luckily I'm PRN, so I can pick up shorter shifts) I'd be in before the sun and out after it. That is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. You feel like you didn't do a damn thing but your so tired you can't do anything so you end up getting down and just scrolling while you eat and you barely have energy to grab something to eat. Had I not been still living at home I would have just gone through a drive through. You are a different kind of tired after a long day of taking people to the toilet and passing meds and working with memory care patients as they sundown.

So while I'm not a roofer, I'm not out every night working till midnight, I think I can relate to Darry the best out of the three here, being an eldest daughter an all especially. I like this song as a character set up, though I have to point out it sounds like he's whining but I also know I've done this so like... I can't complain if I wanna keep my whining privileges.

Great Expectations: This is the first song out, I'm sure we've all heard it. It's about Ponyboy relating to Pip, one of the characters in the book Great Expectations I think by Charles Dickens. I never read it in school I think due to Covid so...

That being said, great song. Still very much relate to him and his wanting to get the hell outta town but feeling trapped by family and obligations. Like I get the kid is only fourteen, and S.E. Hinton was about this age when she wrote this but it is raw and I still feel it.

Come on, we've all felt like everyone expects everything of us and have just wanted to get swept up in a fictional reality where shit is hard but we know everything will be just fine in the end, right? Right?

The line about Darry hits harder after Runs in the Family. His bit about Johnny has always hit me too, because I've always wondered (anxiously, of course) about what my life would've been like had I been born to different parents. And as much as I think about that, pretty sure I'm lucky to have what I have and I'll take it over worse.

Friday at the Drive-in: So there is also a drive in in my city, and I've been several times. I freakin' love it, and it's kind of sad that they're disappearing. This chapter/scene/song has always been a favorite of mine in all Outsiders media. I love Cherry's actress. She's able to do a more country/southern accent without it sounding like a characture. Kudos to her. I'm sure this song is really cool to see in person.

I Could Talk to You All Night: Confession time: I don't like Cherry. I understand that maybe she does have a rough life, but it has always rubbed me wrong the way she told Ponyboy it's "rough all over". Bitch, both his brothers work to keep their house you shut up. Like I went through highschool with my mom hurt, grandpa dying, Covid, a whole lotta other shit and some kid literal told me to off myself b/c I got in his space while practicing a tap number for the musical. Also, I was working through the entire school year. It wasn't terribly uncommon among my peers, but to be in the musical was a sacrifice on my part and we just... we couldn't see under each others skin. My school was on the west side and his family was new money, so I guess he and Cherry are alike in my eyes in that way (even had the same hair, lol). I didn't know what was going on with him and I guess when he broke up with his gf (she was a senior and he was a junior) he got better.

That being said, I really like Cherry's character in this song. They see each other beyond the labels for the first time in their lives. It sort of feels like a love song, but also not so much, and I really dig it. I may eat my words later but I like this version of Cherry. She comes off a lot less snooty than book/movie Cherry. Its so cute.

Runs in the Family (Reprise): Shit. Darry. Okay. The silent oldest sibling burden has fucking snapped. Bro. This is so good. Seeing what all was going on behind his outburst at Ponyboy. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm even more in love with Darry's character. Shit. The oldest sibling being a parent when the parents aren't there. The younger siblings all leading into it. The abrupt stop that is Darry slapping Pony. I wanna scream IT IS SO FREAKINNG WELL DONEOAWE RUH!!!!!! I can practically hear Pony throwing open the screen door and Darry yelling back that he didn't mean it!I@ :OUhoihlacwijhr ;iuaweh' riu

Far Away From Tulsa: Oh, oh Pony. You're innocene it showing honey. This is the one thing I feel I've got on him is that I actually live on the edge of town, so I really live within a smattering farm fields and disappearing small farm towns. Those people will be judgey as hell, they will stalk you anyway possible to get info on you and there will be rumors. Like I love that you two have a dream, but we're getting into Of Mice and Men territory with Lenny and George (is that his name?) with the rabbit farm.

Also, are they changing Pony and Johnny's motivations? Obviously I'd have to watch this but this sounds like they might be changing their motivations a bit.

The transition into Great Expectations!!! The leitmotif!??! The key change?!?!?! HOLY FUCKING SHITHLIUWE RHF AIVCWH TLGIUAWEHCFIUHA. I'm screaming!!!!! But they're dream sounds like a cowboy western fantasy. And the ending where they talk about that not being in Tulsa... realy gives me pause. I think maybe their motivations changed just a bit? BUt IDK cause I'll never get to fuckin' watch this because I am but a poor midwesterner and Broadway is a bitch.

Run Run Brother: Shit. I love this. The little boys coming to Dally. The only one they can trust to know this. This is the loss of innocence in real time. The implication that he gave them all he had (the 50 bucks) is realized here. The song sounds so frantic. Aggggg. It's so good.

The background: if you're not born into money your born into despair? The background singers are great. Grease isn't given its something you earn??? Shit. Run through the fire your bound to get burned? They really like using fire as a symbol (for obvious reasons).

The transition into "You're a Greaser now and you ain't going back?" Like he literally cannot go back. Johnny killed a kid and Ponyboy would be tried as an accomplice probably. Cheezits this is so fucking good! The wrapping back to earlier songs is so freaking well done! The desperation in whoevers voice pointing out the sign to Windrixville? I love.

Justice for Tulsa: Did they come up with a new character? Are there others? Is this the Greasers talking to each other? Immediatly suspecting Dally? So they added the interrogation that he mentions he got brought into.

Is Cherry at Bob's funeral? Honey, he's an asshole. Like I get he could've been cool but gees. I'm torn up about her. They made her way more complicated. So far I'm glad for Dally and Cherry's sake that they added this scene.

Is this Darry or Soda? No. It's a Soc. Is it Randy? Oh I love his voice. Shit, is she grilling him? She's talking about Johnny. Randy. Are they getting onto her for talking with Pony. What she did wasn't wrong? Yeah, it's a senseless tragedy. If you pushed him into it.

So this is the explanation of how they started jumping Greasers and how that tension switched things up. This might be the Act break? But I'm not sure.

Death's at My Door: Is he talking about his parents dying?

Oof. I feel him. So in my life I had a series of deaths where my grandma died, then two years later my grandpa died (different sides of the family), then a kid at my college died going home for winter break. Then a girl from my highschool died going back to school after winter break. Then working at a nursing home every time, I come back someone else is dead. So, I feel that sentiment that it feels like death is following you. But that is just growing up, and I think this is Ponyboy finally sort of coming to that realization a bit.

Are they adding romantic elements to Pony and Johnny's relationships, or is this just really flirty platonic stuff? Because now I'm confused. And I'm someone who does really flirty platonic shit with my friends.

Throwing in the Towel: Oh it's a Darry song. Oh. Darry feels guilty. Shit. Okay. Is he making up with Soda? I'm a bit upset that Soda has been jipped in here. Long list of failures, same here Darry.

Oh. Soda. Soda, ever the middle child. Trying to keep the peace, trying to hype Darry up. Their being the brothers we always knew they would.

There little harmony part is so good!

Soda's Letter: I have heard this one as well. We are finally getting a Soda song!! But still, ever the middle child, trying to keep the peace between the oldest and the youngest. Dammit. I like that they added context to the letter, since it's a bit briefer in the book/movie.

The fade in of Pony singing over Soda is so good.

Hoods Turned Heroes: I love the name on this. I think this is Two-Bit singing this. Interesting that they skipped over the fire incident and Johnny talking to them at Dairy Queen. I like that it's Soda and Two-Bit in this song. I love them as a duo. And I love that we get a Greaser son in response to Justice for Tulsa.

Interesting how they changed it to 1st degree murder for Johnny's charge, because it was manslaughter and I seriously doubt there's enough evidence to even get second degree murder.

Hopeless War: Another Pony and Cherry song. I do like the musical duo of them so far. He's not wrong about the soc's declaring the war. Cherry's also not wrong, but girlfriend, your privelage is showing.

Shit, she got a point about black and white morality. "Same mistake a thousand times" "Doing what we've all been raised to do."

Shit. I like this version of Cherry. This sounds like a country love ballad and I am all here for it. Seems like act 2, like many musicals I've seen, has fewer/shorter songs.

Geez, Cherry. Okay. I still like the Cherry best out of all of them. But girl, you've gotta understand that this kids got more skin in the game than you do. Girl. IDK, this version of Cherry is just more nuanced and I think that's what she needed.

Trouble: The way Hopeless War tansitions into this song is so fucking good!!!!

So I don't know if this is at the park or the Gang going to the park but holy shit. I love this. Is Darry trying to keep Pony out? Or is Dally? Who is telling him not to fight? Didn't book Darry let him fight??!

Little Brother: I have heard this one before as well. It's a Dally song, and it still makes me awe;u hgseruig. This is my favorite version of the Dally and Johnny relationship because it solidifies the brotherhood and the way that Dally see's Johnny. It's done fairly well in the book but the musical makes it much more clear. Even the movie does it pretty well but I like that it's a bit more spelled out here.

I think I've heard all of these last three songs so they'll maybe be a bit more in depth. Also, I am gonna say this now Grease got a Hold is growing on me as I type.

I don't really like how Johnny feels very shoe horned to the side in this version of events.

Is... is someone singing with him on the second little brother in the first chorus? Could that be Darry or am I just trippin'?

I love the way that they show Dally's descent. Oh. There's a chorus on here with him. They put a different version out on YouTube with just Dally on it. Holy shit. Holy shit!!!! I love his voice so much. When are the lyrics gonna be up I gotta see who sings what in here damn it!!!

Dally. Shit. The part where the music strips and then starts building. This will never not give me shivers. I love the orchestration on this version!

The now into no!!!!! ;jfh;ajwerhf;ija uvaiwrhf;aiu3wh I AM NOT OKAY!!!

Stay Gold: This hurts like a son of a bitch still. I can't really put my words on here, but it really is written like someone who knows they're gonna die and they're wanting to give their family a final message. Which is something you can do on hospice nowadays, but wouldn't have been avaliable in the 60's.

Can't believe we had to wait the whole musical for a Johnny solo song. But I love the touch that a man came to thank Johnny for saving the kids, because in the book that's not mentioned and neither in the movie and I like that touch. They added just a few scenes and all were very well done if not honestly needed.

The fading of Ponyboy reading it with Johnny will never not get me. They use this technique so well throughout the musical. But again with me questioning if this is platonic flirty friend shit or Johnny and Pony being romantically involved somehow? I lean towards platonic flirty friends due to the time period and the fact that they're both on the younger side... but geez.

Johnny telling Pony to tell Dally, when we know Dally is dead and Dally asked him to save a seat and just owehtouwaehrt;ouiawe I am not okay. Will never not hurt.

Finale (Tulsa '67): Is this an older Pony on the first line? Does he get out? Or is that his teacher reading it? Like the acknowledgement of Paul Newman.

Oh. This is so sweet, him turning to the hometown heroes, the little everyday ones.

He got out!!!!!! Him talking about Darry and Soda!!

Ah! They took the one paragraph directly out of the book!!!

Dally!!! Wearing grease for their disguise? Holy shit. Bro. You are killing it! Killing it! The chorus entering!!?!?! The excerpts directly from the book!

"He was just to damn good for growing old? And for his memory I'll stay gold!?!?!??!" Holy shit okay. Emotional damage dealt. You didn't have to do that.

I love me a legacy explaning final number. Shit. I love this. Beautiful ending. I love the jazzy bits.

My phone immediatly jumped me to Non-Stop by Hamilton. Fuck you spotify, didn't need that now.

Final Thoughs: Unfortunately, this is not like Hamilton in the sense that the entire freaking musical minus one song that not terribly necessary for context is on spotify. There are chunks of context missing that make me wonder how else they may have changed the story. If you're someone who's first exposure to the outsiders is this, you're gonna be left with a lot of questions. Luckily, you've got a book and two versions of a Francis Ford Coppala movie, but if this was a stand alone I think I'd be leaving the cast recording fairly confused.

I think it's amazing. I did find out while finding a cast list to compare to the featured artists that Steve is still a character. I also wonder if they're gonna release the track they use for the rumble, since I think that's a seperate track with no real singing? IDK man. I wanna see that so fucking bad.

A little mad about how they downgraded Soda and Two-Bit. I know Two-Bit was more of a minor character but it really felt like Soda got the short end of the stick here. Same with Steve, though he already had the short end so it was only a matter of time. Two-Bit makes sense despite my love of him so I kind of expected that.

Overall, I do like this, but it feels a bit incomplete as I believe some of the most critical plot details have been left for portions of the musical that are acted or spoken, which sucks for us broke ass plebs who don't live within driving distance of Broadway.

So long friends.

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

I would kill to have you overanalyze everything about Falsettos. Hope that didn't sound too threatening, I was joking, I'm just really into your analysis of the chess game :3

omg! I would love to analyze anything for you, man! 💗 I've pretty much picked everything out of a lot of the songs─ lil surprised I don't have my own corkboard with red twine commemorating my insanity on this musical lol

Looking through the album, the first option that came to mind might've been The Thrill of First Love but I think I'll take a break from toxic gays for just one moment and give you a strangely written analysis on Marvin at the Psychiatrist: A Three-Part Mini Opera, because of the different character pov's (i.e., Mendel, Jason, somewhat Whizzer, and of course, Marvin─ and I know Whizzer only announces each section of the song but hear me out, the theories are crazy and I'm obsessed with them and this song definitely factors into them aswell).

Basically, we'll start off with a quick look over Jason's lines, as he is the first character to speak/sing in the song. Right off the bat, we have him showing a HUGE disdain for love because of his father pretty much ruining his home life with the illusion of it. Well, maybe disdain is strong, but you get what I mean─ he's very reluctant to accept romance as an option for himself at all at this point because the wound is still very fresh from Marvin blowing up their family life, but yeah, also, he's a little preteen boy so it also makes sense for him to object to liking anyone just because of immaturity.

As we progress, Jason does a joint-therapy session with Marvin and they talk about outings and father/son bonding time gone badly wrong. He lets us in on his hyper-observance with his reaction to Marvin saying the pitcher they saw at a baseball game was handsome, and makes sure the audience is well aware he has some pretty conflicting emotions about his dad and his dad's sexuality. Especially given My Father's a Homo comes directly after this song, and in turn, also directly after this moment, so we know his feelings over Marvin and Whizzer (being that he enjoys Whizzer's company, seeing as Whizzer is the only adult who actually treats him like a kid and not like a victim or a baby or an average adult, like- but still) and their messy relationship.

It really makes me wonder on how it is when he's meant to go over to their apartment, since it's canonical that they live together and that Jason sees him regularly. And if they act terribly in front of him still. I assume Whizzer wouldn't allow that, another trait that gives Jason reason to side with him, because he seems like he really just doesn't want to completely, for lack of better words, fuck up Jason's whole childhood experience by being a part of it.

Now! Mendel isn't a complicated perspective, per say, just very eccentric. Especially assuming he asks MANY intrusive questions to a man who just openly came out as gay about his ex-wife and her sexual habits and such. This is where we tell him to go to horny jail.

(That's not the whole analysation, I swear─)

Mendel to me seems like he probably takes the initiative to not relay any of his clients actual info to other family members, but this song pretty much just proves he's incapable of brain-thought when he's horny. Which, yeah, that's hilarious that the only straight man is just thirsting over a woman to this gay guy. William Finn, you've done it again.

Anyhow, Mendel is pretty vital in this song. We get to see his psychiatry techniques, and with that, understand exactly what kind of situation Marvin's been, in taking therapy from him this whole time. The first part of the song is probably the best way of analyzing, since he's actually intelligible and giving Marvin advice. Well, that advice consists of telling him to ignore Whizzer's flaws and love him regardless, you can actually sorta see that at work in some aspects of the musical, even if he's constantly condescending to Whizzer throughout act one.

But generally, Marvin tends to take the exact opposite path that Mendel gives him, and basically just uses him as a venting device. Then again, Mendel is not to great at giving advice, as a neurotic little man who has like four mental breakdowns in the course of act one and two.

Next, Whizzer, of course. Short but sweet, or.. angsty? I've heard a few people theorize that Whizzer narrates the story ("Marvin at the psychiatrist, a three part mini opera, part one." "Part two." "Part three." "Psychiatrist, returning, returning! Five sessions later..." "A day in Falsettoland─ Doctor Mendel at work.") because after he dies, it sort of becomes his story of finding a true family and lover and son and being actually happy and knowing he lived well before he died really, tragically young, at least.

I'd like to take it a different direction, because I hate angst, and only sometimes tolerate it.

I've realized that Whizzer only actually narrates Mendel's shenanigans, which makes me think, especially with how he still does in act two, he gets to HEAR about the sessions. Whether it be from Marvin, or Jason, or Trina. Or even Mendel himself (this one's more act two based). It may introduce a new side because Whizzer doesn't go to therapy (shocker), but the people he's around all see this one guy so maybe he hears about the sessions and can relay them because he knows this one person's aspect of the story each time.

It wouldn't make a lot of sense for him to hear anything from Mendel in act one assuming they weren't close (at least not in the revival), and he doesn't marry Trina until Marvin and Whizzer are broken up, basically. But it would make more sense for him to get it from his boyfriend who absolutely loves to complain about any minor inconvenience in his life. I just think this could be an interesting perspective, because I've only ever seen that first theory and although somewhat fitting, I need less angst and more cool little headcanons in this fanbase please and thank you.

Finally, we go to Marvin. The star of the show, our princess with several disorders (we all know who our real queens are *stares directly at Trina and Whizzer*).

Throughout the entirety of this song, we see him barely entertaining Mendel with information. He's very vague, which probably stems from a life of secrecy and sneaking around. Although I presume he told Mendel about the affair while it was happening, or a few months in? Or Mendel just knew? Just by the general air of it, and how it seemed well-known by that point even though him and Trina only just divorced.

Marvin definitely keeps to himself, and waits for Mendel to butt in with something. Not so he can take his advice, but moreso so that he can kinda just. Have it, on hand? Or maybe so he can prove to himself that therapy is a hoax, because that certainly sounds like a Marvin thing to do.

Even while going through events with his son, he only states that eventually their interactions just go back to being stale and that they SHOULD be closer, without ever trying to actually make an effort (he assumes making an effort is taking Jason on outings even though they both prefer to stay inside, on their own. This definitely comes from his parents not doing anything with him as a kid, it's internalized so he pushes going out in public and doing what would be father/son outings onto Jason. It's something he never got to have, so he thinks that means he's fathering Jason better than average).

Not much to be said about that middle factor, besides the point of Marvin not knowing Trina was withholding love from him, which is interesting. Her character and lines definitely prevail that she was fed up with Marvin, but it could have just come out as indifference during their marriage. In I'm Breaking Down, she does make a point to state that she only wants a man to love her, so that could've been an overwhelming point in their marriage that Marvin remembers more vividly then her drifting away.

He did seem genuinely surprised when Mendel brought it up, so there is something there for sure.

But now, my dear silly, it's time for me to say adieu, because it's semi-late and I gotta update a fic draft :) but thank you sm for asking! made my day, it was so sweet. my inbox is always open for any suggestions, I'm really glad you like these little rants lol.

I'll try to post more soon 🫶

Goodnight!