#not the max number but like. 3-4? maybe?

[impossible-rat-babies]

me gnawing on pollux like

[ipushhimback]

we were drunk, it happens - pt. 2

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

pairing: lando norris x verstappen!reader warnings: smut (marked with 3 red stars), oral (f receiving), p in v, no protection word count: 3k summary: Y/N attends a GP, saying if Lando wins he will be rewarded

Only a couple days later, Y/N got a message from Max.

The Monaco GP is next week. I know you are not really into F1, but I’d love for you to come, and I am sure Kelly and P would also be happy to have someone to spend their time with. What do you think? – Max

Y/N really hated Formula 1, but not because of the sport itself. She loved the fast cars, the races, how everyone wants to be the best. But her dad had ruined it all for her when they were kids.

She had always loved karting. Sometimes she was even allowed to drive Max’ kart, but when she told her dad that she also wanted to kart competitively, just like her brother, he had said she couldn’t. How could she even think of that as a girl. She would never have a chance in the sport.

Sometimes she thinks that her dad was right. She probably wouldn’t have come far as a woman, but she still would have loved to race.

Maybe it was for the better. Jos wasn’t known for being the best dad to Max. He had always pressured him. Punished him when he wasn’t good enough. And Y/N knew how it affected Max now. She didn’t know if she could have handled that as a kid.

So, from there on she had avoided Formula 1 as much as possible as it simply reminded her too much of her father.

But how could she say no to her brother. Moreover, it could be a great opportunity to spend some time with Lando. Even though they had agreed to no feelings. But honestly, Y/N didn’t know how long that would work. Or if it even could work. She had doubts.

I’m not sure. Is dad going to be there? - Y/N

No, I don’t think so. At least he didn’t say anything to me. But that doesn’t mean anything. - Max

Ok, then I guess I will come. Would you or Kelly pick me up? I don’t want to have to search for a parking lot. - Y/N

Of course. See you then. – Max

Somehow, Y/N was even looking forward to attending the Grand Prix. She didn’t know when the last time was that had happened. But now she just had to hope and pray that her dad wasn’t going to be there as well. Then she would for sure go home. She would just take a walk as it was only half an hour from her home.

She picked up her phone again and opened her chat with Lando. They exchanged their numbers before he left, so they could chat about when they could meet up again – but no feelings involved, of course.

Gonna be at the GP next week. You better win, Norris. - Y/N

She waited a bit, but Lando didn’t go online. He probably was at training, Y/N thought. But just as she wanted to out her phone on the coffee table in front of her, her phoned signaled an incoming message.

Really? How come I have never seen you at one before? But if I win, I wanna be rewarded… - Lando

Long story. But ofc you will. Why else would I tell you to win? – Y/N

K. Have to get back to training, bye. – Lando

Yeah, bye. - Y/N

Y/N couldn’t help but grin. Lando had interrupted her training. For her. To answer an unimportant message. She leaned back on the couch pillows, sighed and smiled to herself.

She sat back up. No feelings. He is probably an arrogant, rich person. She would just end up hurt if she fell for him.

She took a deep breath and got up from where she was sitting. The world champion’s sister made her way to the kitchen where she took a cup from the cupboard and made a huge coffee. The pill she took earlier did little for her headache, so she hoped that the caffeine was going to help.

Then she took her laptop and decided to watch some silly show to take her mind off Lando.

***

A week later, Y/N was ready to go to the GP. She was wearing a bright blue summer dress, her favorite. It had a lot of little white flowers printed on the fabric and it had a quite low neckline, which she hoped Lando would notice.

She actually thought about wearing something orange, in fact it had been one of her favorite colors to wear for quite a long time, but she couldn’t wear papaya-similar colors when she was there to support her brother – or when she was at least pretending to support her brother. Because even though she did not have feelings for Lando – no, really, none – she had been so horny the last couple of day, she just needed Lando to win this Grand Prix.

So now, Y/N sat in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water while scrolling through instagram and waiting for her brother and Kelly.

She watched her Labradoodle puppy trying to catch his own tail which made her laugh, so she got up to pet him.

Eventually she heard the doorbell ring. She quickly went to open the door, but instead of her brother or Kelly, it was P standing on the doorstep.

“P! Hey! What are you doing here? Are you going to drive me to the Grand Prix?”, Y/N was joking which made the five-year-old giggle.

“No, silly. I can’t drive. But Maxie said I could ring, and I have to tell you to hurry because we are late.”

“Ok, I just need to get my jacket from upstairs”, Y/N said.

“No!”, Penelope exclaimed. “You can’t. Maxie said we are late. Now come on.” P grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her outside and towards the Audi that was parked in front of her house.

The young woman new better than to argue with the little girl so she decided to just follow her. Who needed a jacket anyway. In the worst case she would just ask Max or Kelly for something warmer to wear.

An hour later Y/N was hanging around with Kelly and P around Max’ garage and she regretted that she didn’t come later. They have been standing around for what felt like hours and the race wasn’t even close to get started. The only thing that prevented her from going home again to sleep and coming back later, was P who was full of energy and Kelly who just couldn’t keep up with it anymore, being 9 months pregnant.

“Y/N, can we go to Lando? I wanna see him and tell him good luck. Can we go? Now?” P looked at Y/N with that cute little pout. “Please?”, she added after seeing the critical look on Y/N’s face.

“P… Lando is probably really busy, just like Max. Does it really have to be now?” If the Dutch woman was being honest with herself, she just really didn’t want to see Lando right now.

No. That was not correct. She wanted to see him. And that was the problem. She shouldn’t do that. No feelings. Just fun. That can’t be that hard, right?

Wrong. It can be hard. Not falling for a handsome guy with the curliest curls in the world, the cutest, widest smile existing on planed earth, the prettiest blue eyes that seemed to be green in different lightning and – stop.

“It really has to be now! If I don’t wish him luck, he won’t be good and he has to win!” P looked at her with these pleading look Y/N just can’t resist so there she was, walking with P to the McLaren garage.

“You know that Max would kill us if he saw us here?”, Y/N said jokingly. “By the way, don’t you want Max to win? Why Lando?”

“Maxie won too often. Now it is Lando’s turn. It is boring with Maxie. I like drama. And we don’t get drama when Maxie always wins. And Lando is great! He always plays with me and lets me do his hair. He has nice hair. It is curly.” P grinned happily while she explained to Y/N why Lando was so great.

A bit later they were standing in front of Lando’s garage and Y/N went to the first mechanic she spotted.

“Sorry, where is Lando? P wants to tell him good luck for the race. Is that possible?” Y/N just hoped that the mechanic would recognize P or her so she could go to Lando.

“I know her. Who are you? I am sure you understand that I can’t just let anyone to him.”

Y/N nodded. “I am Y/N Verstappen. You know, Max’ sister? Kelly didn’t come with us because, well she is pregnant and probably sleeping somewhere.”

The mechanic looked satisfied with the answer. “Ok. You just have to go straight there and then the third door on the left side. There should be his name on the door. Just knock. He will open if he isn’t preparing for the race at the moment.”

“Ok thank you. Have a nice day, bye!” Y/N looked at the five-year-old next to her who had a content look on her face.

Just a minute later they were standing in front of a wooden door, they could hear loud music from inside, so Y/N knocked again, even louder this time.

“God, how isn’t he deaf already”, she murmured more to herself than anyone else, but P commented it anyway.”

“Because he is Lando. He is not becoming deaf ever. He is great.” The older woman could barely hold the laugh that was threatening to spill over.

“Yes, he really is”, Y/N said with a laugh, shaking her head at P’s enthusiasm.

Finally, the door was opening, and Y/N was standing in front of this handsome guy Lando.

“P!”, he explained.

“Hi Lando! I want to wish you good luck. Y/N said you were busy, but I had to because you have to win, ok?”, the girl asked in just one breath while falling forward and demanding a hug from the driver.

Y/N could only laugh. Too adorable was the childhood crush Penelope obviously had on the older guy.

“That’s great! Thank you, P! So, you are going to cheer for me? Isn’t Max going to be sad?”, Lando asked.

“No, he will understand. You will win. I know because I wished you good luck.”

Lando just laughed, and Y/N couldn’t help but admire how cute he was with Penelope. And that laugh… she could listen to it for hours and- stop.

***

Lando did in fact win. And Y/N couldn’t be happier about it. During the Podium celebration – Lando came in first place, Max in second and Oscar in third – she just stood in front of it, being impatient.

But then finally, Lando came to her, already changed into a hoodie and simple jeans, his hair damp from the shower he probably had.

“So… what about my reward? Should we drive to your place again or mine?”, Lando asked with that damn smirk on his face.

“Mine. I need to feed my dog.” Lando shot you a surprised look.

“You have a dog? Why didn’t I see him already?” Y/N noticed how disappointed Lando looked.

“I just got him like a week ago. He is super cute, but right now he is at my neighbor’s, and I don’t want her to spend even more of her time taking care of my dog.”

Lando just hummed and led the younger woman to his car. She let out a whistle when she saw how nice it was.

“I assume you won’t let me drive that beauty?”, she asked the brunette.

“You want to?” Y/N nodded enthusiastically.

“Go for it”, Lando eventually said, throwing his key in her direction and she caught it easily.

She let out a high-pitched squeal when she sat in the driver’s seat and started the engine. Carefully, she pressed the accelerator, and the car shot forward.

“This is so crazy, oh my god… I will steal that beauty from you.”

It only was a short drive to Y/N’s home, so she had actually thought about driving differently so she could enjoy the feeling of the car even longer but honestly, she didn’t want to. She knew exactly what would happen when they arrived, and she didn’t want to wait any longer for it.

But it turned out she did not know what happened next. Lando kneeled down and cuddled with her dog who seemingly enjoyed that as he fell asleep right in Lando’s arms.

“Can you leave Milo alone? He’s not the reward I meant…”, Y/N said a bit disappointed because she knew her puppy was cute, but she didn’t imagine Lando just playing with her dog for the next hour.

***

Eventually Lando set down the sleepy puppy who immediately curled up on the couch and they went upstairs, not wanting Milo to watch them do whatever they were planning to do.

“So… now I will finally get my reward?”, Lando asked, this stupid smirk back on his face.

“Oh, shut up! You were the one who needed to cuddle with Milo”, Y/N said before stepping forward and pulling Lando to her by grabbing the strings of his hoodie.

She tilted her head up and just a moment later, Lando’s lips were on her’s. Y/N hummed and opened her lips slightly.

Lando moved towards her bed, not breaking the kiss, until Y/N flopped on the mattress. He pulled back just enough to have access to her dress so he could pull it over her head, leaving her in just her underwear. Y/N then tugged at Lando’s hoodie, and he ended up helping her by slipping it off, as well as his pants. Y/N stared at his chest.

She knew she had seen it all before, when they hooked up after the dinner, but the memory of the night wasn’t too present anymore, and honestly, Y/N didn’t know how she could ever look at Lando and not think how hot this guy looks.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Lando kisser her again, rougher this time. More demanding than anything else did he press his lips on her’s. Her back arched off the bed which Lando saw as his chance to get his hands behind her back to open her bra.

“So gorgeous”, he whispered on her lips and pulled back just for Y/N to feel his mouth closing around her nipples, making her gasp.

His lips trailed lower until he stopped above the waistband of her panties. His index fingers hooked into it, and he pulled them down until he could throw them to where he thought the rest of the clothes already is.

His went even lower until his lips hovered just above her. Y/N’s breath hitched as she looked down at Lando who was spreading her legs. He looked up at her, his eyes dark and his pupils dilated.

The first touch of his tongue felt… electric and it made her back arch. He teased her with fast licks and gentle pressure which made Y/N move into his direction.

“Patience. Trust me”, Lando said, and Y/N would throw a pillow at him if it hadn’t felt this good.

But it wasn’t long until Lando grew more and more impatient, and he didn’t want to continue teasing Y/N.

His tongue worked not only faster but also firmer and soon she was teetering right on the edge. Her hands came down to grab his hair, pushing him closer to her and she couldn’t stop the loud moan from slipping through her lips.

Lando hummed against her and the vibrations just pushed her even closer to the edge. His fingers joined his tongue as he curled them in her, pressing into that sweet spot.

When Lando realized that Y/N was about to come he worked even more precise, rougher. And just like that she tripped over the edge, and she felt the release wash over her. Lando didn’t stop thrusting his fingers in and out of her until she rode out her orgasm.

Y/N felt her legs tremble and she slowly opened her eyes again just to see Lando over her. His lips were glistening from her juices as he moved to press a kiss on her lips. She tasted herself on his lips, the taste blending with the champagne he drank earlier on the podium and just the taste of him.

She pulled back just enough to mumble, “Need you, Lando. Please.”

Lando didn’t say anything just moved to get rid of the boxers he still wore. Y/N couldn’t help but stare at him, her lips parting slightly.

“Like what you see?”, he teased her though it was apparent that he wanted it just as much as she did. His cock was hard and leaking and huge. Y/N really didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of that.

“How did that fit the last time?”, she blurted out and wanted to take it back immediately when Lando chuckled.

“Wanna find out?”, he said and even though he was just teasing, Y/N knew that if she just said no, Lando would stop immediately, no questions asked.

But she nodded, wanting to finally feel him in her. Lando positioned himself between her thighs, teasing her entrance with the tip of his cock.

Y/N breath hitched as he pushed into her with one hard thrust. Her hands flew to his shoulder, and she was sure that her nails would leave marks on his skin, as she adjusted to the stretch. Lando stilled just for a moment before pulling out nearly fully before slamming back into her.

Y/N moaned his name which just seemed to fuel the Brit, and he started thrusting into her even harder.

“God, you feel so god”, he moaned, his hands gripping her hips and Y/N was sure she would have bruises by tomorrow.

Only after a few thrusts Y/N was already close again, still sensitive from her previous orgasm.

“Lando, I-“, her voice broke but Lando hummed, knowing exactly what she wanted to say.

“I know. Come for me.”

Her orgasm hit her even harder this time, her body still high from before and Lando came just a moment later, with himself buried deep inside her.

For a moment, neither of them moved but then, Lando slowly pulled away, collapsing onto the bed just next to Y/N.

She stared at the ceiling, her chest still heaving as she was catching her breath.

“Happy with your reward?”, she asked Lando.

“Very. This was amazing.”

Y/N rolled to the side to face Lando, a grin tugging at her lips.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, Norris,” she said with a sly grin.

A/N: Should I write a pt. 3? I kinda want to but idk if anyone wants to read it

[elizaleclerc]

Hi, Max and reader are dating (private) for a few years. reader is also working for Oracle (red bull's sponsor) and she comes to a race and surprises max.♥️

this requestttt!!! wanted to twist it a little <3 added lando for some fun flare ; reader & max want to keep it private but can't help but drop hints bc they love the chaos

locked longings ✧ ⁺˳

max verstappen x reader (smau)

summary: a private relationship online with fem!reader and max slowly comes to light

song: the alchemy by taylor swift

author's note: never done an smau before and lowkey underestimated the time it took byeee ; open to more requests for smaus <3 (no face claim imagine whoever i just liked the pics)

ynusername my sweet sweet summer <3

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, and others

-user8456 am i the only one wondering if her and max fell off :(

-user9902 they are probably both hella busy

-user4558 the most gorgeous redbull employee 😍

-landonorris can you bring me a redbull pls

-ynusername no.

-user5041 WAIT ARE THEY TOGETHER??

maxverstappen1 A much needed break, but can't wait get back to racing soon.

liked by charlesleclerc, ynusername, and others

-user4558 max turns into mr.worldwide on vacation

-charlesleclerc do you ever sleep?

-maxverstappen1 no.

-user9681 not the same joke y/n used with lando 😭

-user1141 they are so best friend coded

redbullracing What a wonderful day to get back to racing in Spa!

liked by maxverstappen1, ynusername, and others

-landonorris prepare to lose @/maxverstappen1

-maxverstappen1 says the man starting at p11

-ynusername cooked him omg-

-user4802 i can't tell if max actually likes lando or not 😭

-ynusername don't worry they are buddies!

-user3356 OH?

-user2301 y/n blink twice if you and lando are dating

ynusername back to work as usual! congrats to the big number 1 on the win!

liked by charlesleclerc, redbullracing, and others

-user3105 max not lurking in the comments is rare...

-user4301 maybe bc she's with someone?

-user6882 stop pushing the y/n x lando agenda oh my goddd

-user2240 THE POLAROID AWWW 😇

landonorris Good times in Spa <3

liked by ynusername, mclaren, and others

-user4505 wait...that isn't y/n

-user4802 the y/n lando truthers are crumblingggg

-user3893 OMGG so happy for u lando!!!

-mclaren That's our boyyy! 🧡

ynusername glad i could finally see these gorgeous cars in action this weekend <3 a lovely time with wonderful people!

liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and others

maxverstappen1 💙💙💙

-user3489 the social implications of these hearts

-user2210 that's a real friendly hug there...

-user5572 WOAH WAIT MAX & Y/N

-landonorris can you be my good luck charm next pls

-ynusername hmm i think i'll be busy that day

-user7005 lando what do you know.

maxverstappen1 Happy guy!

liked by ynusername, charlesleclerc, and others

-ynusername the caption, simple, but effective!

-user2804 love them together so much i need the rumors to be true

-landonorris a man of many words

-user1156 y/n and max together would make me combust

-user4401 i need them to be happy together 😭

-user5969 they are TRAVELING together it HAS to be true

-user2131 he's texting her in the last pic fs

ynusername the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me 🤍

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and others

-user2202 the taylor lyric OHHH they are so in loveee

-landonorris ugh finally i was tired of keeping my mouth shut

-ynusername yeah bc we all know you're so good at it too

-user3335 I KNEW ITTTTTT

-maxverstappen1 Happy 4 years my love 💙

ynusername love youuu <3

-user1203 FOUR YEARS?!?!

-user6061 keeping it private for 4 years...yeah they are endgame.

-charlesleclerc Paddock romance of the century!!!

[lanf1an]

SEASONS lando norris x fewtrell sister pt.7 - march 20 2025

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.8 pt.9 wordcount: 2637

You woke up with a pounding headache and a vague sense of unease. The events of last night blurred together. You groaned, burying your face in the pillow as your phone buzzed on the bedside table.

Max: “Bet Lando broke his personal record for post-win hookups last night. What’s the count? 10? 15?”

You stared at the screen, your stomach tightening. A sharp pang of something you couldn’t name struck you. You knew exactly how many girls Lando had kissed the previous night—just one. You.

After a moment, you typed back.

You: “Dunno, wasn’t keeping tabs. Ask him yourself.”

Max’s response came almost immediately.

Max: “You’re supposed to be the reliable one. Useless.”

Your phone buzzed on the nightstand again. Squinting, you grabbed it and opened the message.

Lando: Hope your head’s not as bad as mine.

You stared at the screen, debating how to respond. Did he mean the hangover or… something else? Finally, you typed back something neutral.

You: I’m surviving. You?

His reply came almost instantly.

Lando: Barely. Who thought tequila was a good idea?

You smiled faintly, Lando seemed determined to brush past it, that had worked well for you the last time. 

-

Later that afternoon, your phone buzzed again.

Max: Lando just arrived back in Monaco, he’s still kinda off. Thought winning the first race would’ve had him buzzing. The break up must’ve done a bigger number on him that I thought. You good though?

You frowned, rereading the message. Lando had seemed fine—at least, before the kiss.

Shaking the thought away, you quickly texted Max back.

You: Yeah, I’m fine. He probably just overdid it. You know how he gets after races.

Max responded almost immediately:

Max: Yeah, maybe. I told him to chill, but you know him. Anyway, see you later

-

The morning after your return, Dylan surprised you by showing up at your apartment with coffee.

“I figured you’d need this,” he said, handing over your favorite latte as he kissed your cheek.

You smiled, grateful for the gesture, definitely feeling the jetlag. Thought I’d come by and steal you for breakfast.”

The idea was sweet, and you agreed, letting him whisk you away to your favorite café. Over avocado toast and coffee refills, Dylan asked about the party.

“So, big celebration for Lando’s win?” Dylan asked, his tone casual as he leaned back in his chair, stirring his coffee idly. 

“Yeah, it was...” You hesitated, thinking back to the night. The flashing lights, the laughter, the heat of Lando’s breath on your skin. “...eventful.”

Dylan raised an eyebrow. “Eventful how?”

You felt your stomach tighten. This was it. Do you tell him about the kiss? Would he care? Should he care? “Lando broke up with Magui,” you said instead, your voice steady.

His brows shot up, but there was no real surprise in his expression. “Well, that doesn’t shock me. Those two were always cold.”

“Yeah... and, um, he—he kissed me at the party.” You blurted it out before you could overthink it. It hung in the air between you, and you couldn’t read Dylan’s face.

He didn’t react the way you expected. Instead of anger or jealousy, he just nodded, as if you’d told him Lando tried a new hairstyle. “That doesn’t surprise me either.”

“What?” you said, your voice louder than you intended.

Dylan shrugged. “I mean, it’s Lando.”

His reaction knocked the breath out of you. “What are you talking about?”

“Come on.” He smiled, as if you were being naive. “He’s been protective of you since day one. You’re basically his second shadow. I’ve always just... figured that was part of the deal with being with you.”

You stared at him, feeling a strange mix of confusion and irritation. Part of the deal? That didn’t sound like love or care—it sounded indifferent. “So... you’re not mad?”

Dylan reached across the table and took your hand. “No, I’m not mad. I trust you. Lando’s just—Lando. He does what he wants, but I know you’re with me.”

His grip was warm, his smile steady, but something about it annoyed you. You pulled your hand away to sip your coffee, pretending to study the foam swirl at the top.

His nonchalance sent a flicker of irritation through you. Shouldn’t he care more about this? Shouldn’t it bother him that Lando had kissed you? Should it bother him?

-

You didn’t travel to the next weekend’s race in China, having to catch up on work instead. Max’s texts, however, kept you in the loop.

Max: Your boy’s back to his old ways. Can’t keep up with how many girls he’s talking to tonight.

Your chest tightened as you read the message. You could practically hear Max’s laughter through the text. It didn’t take much to imagine Lando at another party, charming his way through a crowd.

You: That didn’t take long.

Max: What did you expect? It’s Lando.

You weren’t sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, but before you could process any further or reply, your phone buzzed again.

Lando: Missing you this race weekend x

— February 17, 2016

It was past curfew at the team hotel, where you and Lando were staying for a karting tournament. The day’s races had gone well, and tomorrow was the final race day. It was a rare occasion Max hadn’t qualified for the tournament, leaving you with two instead of the usual three. You sat on the edge of Lando’s bed, the faint buzz from the drinks some of the guys had smuggled in during the team dinner making the room feel warmer than it was.

Lando leaned back against the headboard, his legs stretched out in front of him. He fiddled with the string of his hoodie, but you caught him glancing at you every so often, like he was debating saying something.

Finally, he broke the silence.

“Can I ask you something?” he began, his voice careful.

You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. “When you start like that, it’s usually something weird.”

He laughed softly, shaking his head. “No, it’s not weird. Just... you know, the last time we talked about that guy—your first time—how’s that going?”

You blinked, caught off guard. You had hoped the subject would never come up again, but you knew he was just trying to be a good friend. “Oh. Um...We broke up.” You shrugged, looking down at your hands, it hadn’t been a serious relationship, so you weren’t too upset about it. ‘’So, no improvements?’’ Lando grinned. You groaned in response. “I mean, it wasn’t terrible or anything. Just... I don’t know. Everyone makes it sound like it’s supposed to be this big deal, right? Like fireworks and angels singing.” 

“And it wasn’t?” he asked, clearly amused.

You let out a dry laugh. “It was... fine. But it didn’t really feel amazing, you know? I thought maybe something was wrong with me.”

His brows furrowed, and he shifted to face you fully. “Trust me, It’s not you,” he said firmly. 

“Yeah, well, maybe he just wasn’t great at it,” you said, trying to lighten the mood. But the words hung there, more truthful than you intended.

He smirked, but there was an undercurrent of something serious in his expression. “It should be good for both people.”

The comment made your stomach twist, the way he said it—so genuine, so matter-of-fact—caught you off guard. You glanced up, meeting his gaze for a split second, as you turned the tables. “And how would you know?” you asked, aiming for teasing but faltering at the end.

He leaned back, running a hand through his hair. “Because I’ve done it,” he answered casually, his tone steady but quiet.

The casualness of his answer shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did. You blinked, your stomach flipping unexpectedly. “Oh,” was all you managed to say.

Your mind raced. Of course, he had. You weren’t sure why you were even surprised—Lando had always been good-looking and charismatic in a way that drew people to him effortlessly. You pictured the last girl you’d seen him with, a petite brunette with long legs and perfect skin. She’d had her arm slung around his neck at a karting party a few months ago, whispering in his ear as he’d grinned down at her.

The thought sent a strange pang through your chest, and for a moment, you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been good with her. Of course, he had. Lando wasn’t the kind of guy who’d fumble through anything.

“Does that bother you?” he asked, breaking the silence, his voice a mix of curiosity and hesitation.

“What?” you said quickly looking up, your cheeks heating. “No. Why would it?”

He shrugged, his eyes scanning your face. “I don’t know. You’re just... quiet.”

You shook your head, brushing it off. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Was it fireworks and angels singing?” you quickly recollected yourself, teasing, though your curiosity was genuine.

Lando let out a low laugh, his cheeks darkening slightly. “Not exactly. The first time, I was so nervous I could barely think straight. The second time was better, but it’s not just about that. It’s better when you actually care about the person. When it’s not just... random.”

His words settled over you, heavy with meaning. For a moment, you wondered if he was talking about someone specific, but you didn’t dare ask.

Lando tilted his head, his expression thoughtful.  “Like, yeah, it depends on the person, but… when it’s good, it’s like everything just clicks. You’re not overthinking or second-guessing—it just… works.” he continued, leaning back against the headboard.

You nodded slowly, trying to picture what he meant. “Must be nice,” you murmured. “To actually enjoy it.”

Lando’s gaze softened, and he leaned forward slightly. “You will,” he said quietly. “With the right person.”

The way he said it made your chest tighten, and you found yourself holding your breath. His eyes lingered on yours, the space between you suddenly feeling charged.

Lando tilted his head, studying you for a moment. “Did he make you feel comfortable?” he asked, his voice dropping slightly.

You blinked at the sudden shift, your heart skipping at his seriousness. “Uh… I guess? I mean, he wasn’t… mean or anything, but he didn’t really ask me what I wanted either.”

Lando’s jaw tightened, just barely, but he stayed silent for a beat too long before saying, “You shouldn’t have to guess. He should’ve cared enough to ask, to, like… figure it out with you.”

You bit your lip, his words sinking in more than you wanted to admit.

He leaned forward slightly. “Look, I’m not saying this to be weird, but... you should figure out what you like. What makes you feel good. What… turns you on.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt your cheeks flush. “That’s… easy for you to say,” you muttered, focusing on the thread in your sweatshirt.

“I’m serious,” he pressed, his tone a little gentler. 

You glanced up at him, meeting his gaze for a brief, charged moment. He wasn’t teasing or trying to make you feel awkward; he genuinely meant it.

“Anyway,” he said, his tone lighter now. “You should really find someone who knows what they’re doing next time. No more amateurs.”

You laughed, grateful for the change in tone. “I’ll keep that in mind, Norris.”

“Good,” he said, grinning.

Lando leaned back on his elbows, a lazy smirk on his face. “Alright, real talk,” he said, his tone light but his eyes sharp. “Did he even go down on you?”

You froze, his question catching you completely off guard. “Lando!” you hissed, your face heating up as you looked around the empty room, as if someone might overhear.

“What?” he said, shrugging like it was the most casual thing in the world. “It’s a legit question.”

You stared at him, your mouth opening and closing as you tried to find the words. “No, he didn’t,” you finally muttered, crossing your arms defensively.

He made a face, somewhere between disbelief and disappointment. “Figures. Most guys don’t know what they’re doing.” He tilted his head, studying you. “You should find someone who actually gives a shit about making it good for you.”

You looked away, your stomach flipping at the casual confidence in his tone. Images of him with other girls flitted through your mind—hearing the rumors, catching glimpses of the way they looked at him. He probably was good, wasn’t he?

“Well,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady, “maybe I just need someone to teach me what’s supposed to be good.”

His smirk widened, but there was something softer beneath it now. “Maybe. Or maybe you just need to stop settling for guys who don’t try.”

For the rest of the night, you stayed up talking about everything and nothing. But as you finally drifted off to sleep in the makeshift bed you’d built on his floor, his words replayed in your mind, accompanied by flashes of Lando smiling at some girl, his hands on her waist, his lips on hers. And for reasons you couldn’t quite explain, the thought made your stomach flip.

-

The next evening, the team dinner spilled over into a small party, celebrating the final race day. You’d been nursing a couple of drinks, the warm buzz loosening your usual reservations. Somewhere along the way, you found yourself talking to a racer from a rival team, he had placed second, behind Lando. He was charming enough, leaning in a little closer with every laugh, his hand brushing yours as you spoke.

Maybe it was the leftover thoughts from your conversation with Lando the night before, or maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your veins, but when the guy leaned in, you didn’t stop him. His lips brushed against yours, tentative at first, and then more confident as you responded.

Before the kiss could deepen, though, a familiar hand landed lightly on your shoulder. “Not him,” Lando’s voice murmured in your ear, firm but calm.

You blinked, pulling back from the karter and turning to face Lando. He stood there, his expression unreadable but his eyes unwavering. “Come on,” he added, his tone softer now. “Let’s get you some air.”

You didn’t protest. Maybe it was the slight pull of his hand on your arm or the way his gaze seemed to cut through the haze of the evening, but you let him guide you out of the room.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you muttered once you were in the quieter hallway, the cool air sobering you slightly. The one time Max wasn’t there, Lando had to act as the protective brother.

Lando raised an eyebrow, his mouth curving into a small, knowing smile. “Didn’t I?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. “He wasn’t that bad.”

“No,” Lando admitted, leaning casually against the wall. “But not good enough”

You wanted to argue, but the look in his eyes—half teasing, half serious—made your resolve falter.

He chuckled softly, tilting his head toward the vending machine down the hall. “C’mon, Let’s get you some water before you start thinking about kissing any more idiots tonight.”

Despite yourself, you couldn’t help but smile, shaking your head as you followed him. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Lando just shrugged, his grin growing. “That’s why you keep me around.”

-

WN: almost a SMAU with all the texts 🤪🤪 oop sorry in 2016 Lando wasn’t mkarting anymore but minor detail for the story lol, just couldn’t have her be in formula 4 or something. Also let me know if you think it’s going too slow, but actually, too late, shits going down in the next chapter and I think it’s going to be 10 chapters, eventhough I’m going to miss this story a lot so maybe I’ll make it longer if I think of more storyline. Took a bit long this time, so trying to upload tomorrow to make up for it! Suggestions about anything are always welcome 💕💕 Hope i didnt forget anyone for the taglist, let me know if i did

tl: @ash88-yep @lewishamiltonismybf @harrysdimple05@lex2205 @il0vereadingstuff @martygraciesversion381 @joannaln4 @obxstiles@chaoswithus@motorsportloverf1 @therovanperaastonmartini@acesofspadess @widow-cevans @irisesinthegarden

[moon-brain-90]

I'm rating driver logos cause I'm bored. Just my opinions on the logos.

Max Verstappen - 9/10

I like it a lot I need him to eventually get a 5th WDC so the middle can stand for the Roman numeral 5. Very recognizable and not similar to other logos

Liam Lawson - 4/10

I see what he was going for but it just looks super similar to Lando's. The only difference is the font is more generic.

Lando Norris - 8/10?

It looks pretty similar to Lance's which docks it points, but is also recognizable and not ugly. I like the 4 inside/between the LN.

Oscar Piastri - 6/10

Just his initials, not very special in my opinion not horrible jus not interesting

Charles Leclerc - 7/10

It's just not very appealing to me. I like the sharp lines and utilizing it in both letters not just the L.

Lewis Hamilton - 8/10?

I don't get where it came from or why but it's definitely there. Better than most of the others logos

George Russell - 10/10

I love the incorporation of both his initials and driver number! It's really cool and what I wanted in these logos

Kimi Antonelli - 6/10

Just his name so it's a bit boring. Got an extra point for not being a generic font

Fernando Alonso - 8/10

I like the little arrow going across the A(at least I think that's what's occurring 😭) nice and not super in your face

Lance Stroll - 7/10

Lowkey looks like it inspired two other designs. I like it, not revolutionary but not ugly or bad

Pierre Gasly - 8.5/10

I weirdly like the triangle made out of the P and G. Has definitely grown on me since I first saw it

Jack Doohan - 4/10

I don't see the vision. I can only see a triangle in the second letter despite knowing it is supposed to be a D.

Esteban Ocon - 6/10

I like the vision just not the execution. I like the E and 3 being reflected. I just wish it wasn't as crowded. Makes it a bit harder to appreciate it and see it fully.

Ollie Bearman - 10/10

I love the bear, maybe my fav logo out of all of them. Leaning into BEARman was a good choice, I like it.

Yuki Tsunoda - 8/10

I don't understand the vision but I do like it. It's very cool to look at, and feels very stylized.

Isack Hadjar - 6/10

Just his name, so a bit boring. Got an extra point for the font and being slightly slanted

Alex Albon - 8/10

Basic, A and driver number. I do really like that you can read the A as an 'a' in an 'a'. It's nice, adds points.

Carlos Sainz - 6/10

Just his driver number. Nothing super special

Nico Hulkenberg - 5/10

Just his name. Nothing fun or whimsy about it sadly.

Gabriel Bortoleto - 7/10

Very much like a signature, but it's pretty and not boring. I like it.

[psychicreadsgirl]

Pick a Picture: What are your strengths?

Pick the picture that draws you most. If you can't choose between two, then look at both readings. This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't behind.

Also, I just stupidly realized that pick a pile/card readings are all related to tarot. For clarification, I don't use tarot so there are no "cards" to share with you or read. I place a picture there for you to choose for an intuitive reading.

I stress again that this is a general reading so take it with a grain of salt. These readings are for fun and entertainment and if they're helpful to you, then great.

#1

You are very resilient and determined. You are probably very independent and don't need much caring/hand holding.

You know what you want in life and generally have a plan to execute your goals/dreams.

You are pretty responsible and stay true to your words.

You are firm and you know when to stand your ground.

You excel in logic and probably are good with numbers/math/concepts/sciences. You are also probably good with directions and determining a strategy. You know how to solve problems.

#2

You have strong leaderships skills. People will generally listen to you or follow you.

You have good communication skills. You know what to say to make people listen to you. You're persuasive and probably eloquent.

You are confident and people generally believe in you. You have a strong presence and are memorable.

Even if you're unsure of things, you know how to fake it till you make it.

You don't shy away from confrontation. You are fearless and courageous. You are protective and will stand for your rights.

#3

You are a team player. You go with the flow and are pretty adaptable. You are sweet and cooperative. You are considerate and are attentive to details.

You are sensitive to other's feelings and generally people feel comfortable with you. You have strong empathy and people just feel like they can share their thoughts/secrets with you.

You are a good listener and have a lot of patience. You generally give good advice related to relationships/friendships.

You generally are quite lucky and things just easily come to you.

#4

You are probably quite athletic. You excel in many sports or many activities that require the use of your body. You might possess strength like you can lift many things. Perhaps you are very flexible or you have great balance. You might also have great control of your body.

You can endure a lot. You can go through a lot of physical training or other training and not complain. Generally you won't really complain much it seems.

You have strong physical endurance. You have a lot of stamina and energy. It's very hard for you to get tired. You might even have too much energy that you have issue sleeping. You are the type that can pull multiple all nighters without caffeine.

You also probably don't get sick very often. If you do get sick, you recover very quickly. You'll notice that even with injuries, you recover very fast like maybe it'll take someone several days to recover from some physical injuries but it'll just take you like 1 or 2 days max.

#5

You have a lot of creativity. You have interesting and unique ideas. You think outside the box.

You might fantasize a lot. You're very imaginative. You have a lot of innocence and naivety. You are very pure.

You are also friendly. People generally are attracted to you somehow. You have this aura that magnetizes others.

You can design a lot. You might excel greatly in the arts. If not, you are the type that can always give out ideas (i.e. you're in marketing and you create this very unique marketing campaign.)

It's possible that you have very vivid dreams too.

#6

You're excellent at figuring out the truth. You know when someone is lying. Somehow you also just know things. Perhaps you are very intuitive or maybe psychic. You have a strong 6th sense.

You might have talent in the occult, including tarot, astrology, psychic reading, etc. You're very intuitive and are hyper aware of what's not known to the human eye.

You are very spiritual. You can connect with others spiritually. You often have profound insights or epiphanies.

You're good at spotting opportunities too. You can also be good at predicting.

[steviewashere]

For the kiss prompt....Steddie and 40 please because I saw it and had a burning need for it!

❤️❤️

Okay, this one is far less angsty (I'm hoping) than yesterday's, lol. But I appreciate this prompt a lot. <3

Number 40: "Because the world is ending."

Tags: Season 4, Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, First Kiss, Slight Love Confession, Steve Harrington has a Bisexual Awakening, Steve Harrington Loves Eddie Munson, Eddie Lives, Last Minute Promises, Protective Steve Harrington

💕—————💕 There was a weight in the way Eddie’s vest laid on Steve’s back. Something that nailed him to the floor, kept him under the clouds but above ground, that anchored him to existence. It provided a sense of security that Steve hadn’t felt in…three or more years.

But there was something about Eddie’s gaze, too, that provided that same amount of comfort. Just one glimpse, one stupid little sentence about lost loves, one panicked nervous fit of laughter—it was enough to make something inside Steve squirm. The same thing he kept away in his own Pandora’s box, deep inside the crevice of his chest behind sinew. It’s where Tommy existed at one point, maybe a few other boys from elementary school. He knew what it was, the pull in Eddie’s gaze. Or, really, the magnetism that Eddie’s eyes held.

It made Steve want to stare back. Made him want to stop the world’s rotation. Made him want to find a way to reverse time, prevent all the evils of his life, find Eddie sooner. He wanted Eddie the same way mosquitos yearn for amber light. Icarus to the sun. Something strong, invasive, all consuming.

Love, he realized. He wanted love from Eddie.

Which makes it all worse when they’re going over game plans. Eddie going with Dustin. Dustin going with Eddie. Nancy and Robin going with him to the Creel house. Max and Lucas and Erica being all too far. There was that pull. A protective surge. Flames in his veins.

It was all so stupid. So careless. Everything they chose to do. The way Eddie knew about some gun store. How his body read nonchalance, but the way his hands shook when pointing out what kind of weapons they could find there. Steve wanted to reach down and wrap his own hands around Eddie’s, squeeze them still, bring his knuckles to between his eyebrows. Do something silly. Like kiss them or kiss Eddie or carve a spot behind his ribs and force Eddie inside of there.

That magnetic pull is back full force once they’re right side up in the Upside Down. Dustin’s a whole four inches shorter than Eddie. Covered in scrap and a hood. And he looks childish, dorky, how he should have been the last several years. Yet there’s a matured gleam to his eyes that haunts Steve, even as he stares it down. And when he glances to Eddie, looking reasonably the same—immature and dorky—green vest that isn’t zipped up, DIY’d leather jacket, ammo belt, and a pair of ill-fitting shiny boots. Steve can only wonder what it would be like to see Eddie not here, not in these circumstances, in his usual appearance. How more…beautiful he’d be if he weren’t so damned afraid.

If Eddie weren’t staring at Steve with something like goodbye. He forces himself to turn away, to stop looking, to stop wanting when there’s no sure presence of tomorrow. It’s like he’s being gifted a litter of kittens, being told not to get attached. Except, he’s already come up with names and collar colors and places where he could put beds. He’s got an idea of where Eddie would be soft if Steve could touch his skin. What nicknames would make him flush and what petnames would make him melt. Steve doesn’t want to be attached, but at the same time, he doesn’t think he ever had the choice.

“Hey, Steve?” Eddie calls to him.

A crunching step forward. Steve forces himself frozen to his spot. His back tenses, shoulders hiking, the axe on his back brushes his hair. It’s cold, the metal is solid and real and sharp. His hands are shaking and his eyes are burning and there’s an iron grip around his lungs. Stomach turning and lurching and falling straight to his feet. He doesn’t turn, not yet. Not with the stern and sudden confidence to Eddie’s voice. Don’t get attached, he’s not yours to keep, a voice echoes deep inside him. I want him. I want him, though, that’s not fair, and that’s the petulant part of him. Something he thought he lost when he knocked on Jonathan Byers’s door.

He expects Eddie to continue, but he doesn’t. The rush of blood is loud in Steve’s ears. There’s no other voices. No other sounds. He’d think that the demo-creatures would’ve sounded off by now, but there’s nothing. The weight of everything, he realizes, is behind him.

Over his shoulder, Eddie’s eyes are fierce. No longer pulling on Steve’s arm, rather squeezing him tight by the shoulders, hauling him into his orbit, pressing their bodies and souls tight. Steve is startled and stirring and flippant. He shouldn’t leave. Doesn’t want to. Not when Eddie is…Eddie is what he wants.

And while his eyes are fierce, they are checking out. Somewhere else. And yet, they’re here. For Steve to fall into. And for him to cradle the sure absence Eddie is preparing to make.

“Make him pay,” Eddie’s voice demands. It’s neutral, neither loud and overbearing nor soft and assuring. His voice is a grenade, ring pulled but hammer still intact. Steve wants to pick it up and place it inside his chest. Wants to obliterate at the impact and sound.

He swallows. Wavers. Nods. And turns away.

But he doesn’t take a first step. He just stands, caught between worlds and passions and full body aches. A shiver crawling up his spine and into the back of his mouth. He swears he tastes it, decay. Something leaving and rotting, just as Eddie’s footsteps begin to retreat. To dissipate. Steve doesn’t want to forget the sound.

Without much on his mind, without any preamble or warning, Steve whirls back around. Stomps inside Eddie’s dusty footprints. Their shoes aligning to one another, the same size. His eyes burn lasers into Eddie’s back, but neither of them stop moving. It’s not until Steve is nearly at the front door to the Munson’s trailer that he’s able to grasp to something. His left hand wraps around Eddie’s right forearm. Gripping with the force of hippopotamus jaws. And he tugs Eddie to him. To face him.

Eddie’s eyes look to him in trepidation. There’s something else, like he’s realizing he’s been caught. An apology forming on the tip of his tongue. Before he can part his lips to say anything, Steve takes his right hand and forces his fingernails to indent into Eddie’s cheeks, squishing his lips to be slightly puckered, and drags him towards his face.

Their noses meet first. Soft and tantalizing. Breathing the same air. Steve, for a moment, can smell Eddie’s breath. And he doesn’t care, that neither of them have brushed their teeth in several days. That they’re tasting each other’s rot and stale words. He doesn’t care.

Slowly, he leans the rest of the way in. Pressing his lips to Eddie’s softly. Just soaking in their warmth. How dry and chapped and splitting they are. Pushes in more firmly, fluttering his eyes shut at the sensation. Breathing in gulps through his nose. Messy and wet on Eddie’s lips, but all the same a: ‘The world is ending, so nothing matters, but you matter and my world will end otherwise.’

And when he pulls his head back, he notices that Eddie wasn’t responsive at all. He wasn’t, but Steve doesn’t feel rejected, for once. Or negated. Or pulled taut and snapped in half. His chest glows with a low-level warmth, radiating between them like a candle’s near-dying flame. He digs his fingernails out of Eddie’s skin and cups his cheeks instead. Like protecting that little bit of light melting away at them. He opens his eyes, met with bewilderment and silence and fear and curiosity and…yearning. But also, there’s something shining back on Eddie’s face like a dream has just come true.

Steve takes a sharp, quick inhale. Whispers, “Don’t be a hero.” He’s already said it, he knows that. But…Eddie was never going to listen and he should’ve known that from the get-go. “Don’t be stupid,” he continues, “and you come back here. Come back to me.”

“Wha—“

“Come back to me,” Steve urges. “I want to know you. And I want to have you. I want to…I want to need you all the time, you understand me? Come back to me, all in one piece, away from danger. Or else I will kill you myself.” He nods once. Swipes his thumb over Eddie’s still jutting bottom lip. “Promise,” he demands lowly, “promise I can see you again.”

Eddie’s gulp is loud between them. His breath puffing hot and cold over Steve’s fingers. But his voice has lost all ferocity. Going soft and controlled and loving. “I promise, Stevie,” he murmurs, “I promise I’ll find you back here.”

Steve nods one more time. Short and affirmative and final. He draws his hands away. Zips up Eddie's vest. And brings them back to being limp at his sides. The very foundation of his being shakes. “Good. And I like that. I like that name, Eds. Call me that again, promise.”

“Promise,” Eddie echoes.

“Not a goodbye,” Steve feels the need to say.

“Just a see you later,” Eddie states. And there’s an honest tone to him that settles all the frayed nerve endings inside of Steve. Before he gets the chance to turn back, Eddie gently cradles his face in turn. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Just for luck,” he murmurs, “be safe.”

There’s a weight in those words, too. Steve tethers to them.

And they ring out at the final blow to Vecna, as the flames engulf on all sides of the house. When they return to one another and all that’s wrong is a splash of ugly dark blood on Eddie’s cheek.

They’re safe. The world will always end, but they’re safe.

💕—————💕 Kiss Ask Game <3

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "It's about timing"

take a breath, close your eyes and ask yourself a time-related question. then, open your eyes and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to find out about the possible amount of time needed for/time span in which the subject you're enquiring about may manifest or start manifesting for you. reminder timing can change according on different factors: this reading mainly wants to provide some kind of general advice/have a calming effect.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4 5 6

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pile 1

timing: present time, short time, imminent (2 months max.) it depends also on your ability to focus on what you can control/yourself (keep your mind in check as it may sabotage you through insecurities and similar)/stay grounded. you're attracting your blessings anyway, just try to stay as calm as you can and keep working.

song: still life | dawn golden

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pile 2

timing: next year, more likely end of the year or late autumn. I heard july too (could be specific for some or a confirmation -eg. a birth month). it may be also when you are near to close a cycle in your life (end of self insecurities)/divine timing. you'll balancing out something in your life too, either your inner/outer self or two endeavours or simply two energies.

song: dynamite | bts

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pile 3

timing: in 10 months-2 years. march could be a favorable month or a confirmation of some kind (eg. birth month). go slow, keep working on your happiness and be determined. If this is really what you want and what really makes you happy too, it will be (check within during these months).

song: i like | kut klose

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pile 4

timing: 8 months or 2-4 years. something needs to be changed within you or your approach to this matter. even if you cannot see it well yet and it feels so far away, be hopeful and more determined. you may meet help on the way. "a pinch of belief" (dunno what it means or if it resonates with anyone... maybe somebody wants to cook something?)

song: easy | danileigh, chris brown

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pile 5

timing: it's a surprise! keep working on healing your heart, especially from negative past experiences/emotions you may still carry within and find a hard time to free yourself from. try to not overworry if you can. take good care of you and be kind with yourself if it's taking a while: it's okay, even if it seems unbearable at times. be patient.

song: heart to heart | mac demarco

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pile 6

timing: when you start a new cycle or you are in a moment of reflection/pause. divine timing. might happen suddenly and shake things up a bit. try to close that hurtful chapter and take time for yourself. grow your confidence. let the Universe work for you behind the scenes.

song: butterfly | crazy town

[lucky-clover-gazette]

rating the volo voice lines from pokemon masters ex as i hear them for the first time

“I’m Volo of the Ginkgo Guild, the go-to choice for your mercantile needs.” 

Sounds like he’s practicing his merchant persona in front of a mirror. Very pleased with his own performance. Might break out into song about it. 8/10

“Allow me to present this to you.” 

Spot-on cadence of Chris Traeger from Parks and Recreation. 4/10

“Here’s a special treat for you!” 

Creepy. Feels like he’s going to hand me a bomb. 2/10

“Oh! It’s looking lively around here.” 

Sounds like he thinks he’s too cool for the party you’ve both walked into and wants to know that you hate it too. 7/10

“What a joy to be alive!” 

Said with the paradoxical determination and resignation of someone who values his own life too highly to end it, but hates that life so fucking bad. 10/10

“Oh! My heart is racing with excitement!” 

Sounds like he just made himself think of something he actually cares about in order to generate enthusiasm about your thing. Also, overdoing it on the “oh,” there. 7/10

“If we use this well, the world will open up.” 

Whatever you say, beautiful. What are we talking about? 8/10 

“I like you better and better!” 

He’s telling the truth, but he likes me for reasons way less innocent and simple than my continued business. Regardless, the praise is appreciated. 10/10 

“Fancy running into you again!” 

Two possibilities: he very intentionally arranged this meeting and is pretending to be surprised, or he was surprised by the meeting and is pretending to be chill about it. 8/10 

“Maybe we’ll get to know each other better now!” 

Sounds like he’s about to ask for my social security number, and if I’m into men, and if I’m into giving men my social security number. 6/10

“Of course. I’d be glad to help.” 

He’s foaming at the mouth to involve himself in whatever protagonist shit I’m up to right now. 9/10

“I can see a whole new world!” 

According to Bulbapedia, he says this “upon reaching max level.” Is that like a relationship level? Does that mean I’m his world? Knowing his motivations in PLA, this could easily have a double meaning—getting close to me, and therefore Arceus, allows him to create a new world. This concerns me less because of the world erasure thing, and more because it might mean he doesn’t actually care about me. 1/10 

“Let the battle begin!” 

Doing a pretty good job sounding normal with this one. 3/10 

“That’s it! Go right ahead!” 

According to Bulbapedia he’s saying this to Togepi, which is very sweet. Also explains why it doesn’t sound fake as hell. 10/10 

“Here you are!” 

He says this to Togepi when he gives her an item in battle, I’m assuming a potion? Which is, again, extremely sweet. 10/10 

“Pay me later!” 

He says this while “using Trainer move,” which I assume is like his signature flourish during battle. The reference to his merchant persona is clever and he sounds like he’s very proud of it. I’m amused by the implication that I’m supposed to pay him for something, though. Is he helping me or battling me? Both? What are we, Volo? 4/10

“Delightful!” 

Accompanies the “nice” emote. I’m not going to complain. 5/10

“Careful now!” 

Accompanies the “watch out” emote. He sounds concerned, but like, in a “please don’t inconvenience me with your pain” way. I wish he truly cared, but maybe if I lie to myself, I can believe that he does. 3/10 

“I’m filled with curiosity!” 

Said with the exact cadence of Grunkle Stan talking to idiot tourists at the Mystery Shack. Ostensibly laughing at himself, but actually laughing at the people who are stupid enough to believe him. 9/10

“Pokemon battles are always good fun!” 

He only says this when he wins, which means they’re not always good fun. Makes perfect sense for the character and I like the delivery. 8/10 

“Too powerful…” 

He says, actively fantasizing about eventually proving himself more powerful. 10/10 

“BEHOLD! DESTINY! LEGENDS! UNDONE!” 

Bulbapedia identifies these words as things he yells during “unity attack/theme skill.” I have no idea what that means. It sounds to me like he’s accidentally taken a double dose of his ADHD stimulant medication and is just saying whatever the fuck comes to mind. 6/10 

“Allow me!” 

Said while “switching in.” Assuming he’s helping me, this is rather nice to hear. I’m more than happy to set this strange contemptuous man on my battle opponent. 9/10 

“Oh dear, that’s too bad.” 

Said while “recalling fainted Pokemon.” Option 1: He’s recalling his Togepi and trying very hard to sound brave about it. 10/10. Option 2: He’s taunting me about my fainted Pokemon with a sickly-sweet condescending tone. Also 10/10. 

“Good morning! Are you heading out today?” 

I appreciate the casual greeting and barely-contained rabid interest in my protagonist activities. 8/10 

“In that case, potions are a must.” 

Thoughtful and dedicated to his quotas. It does feel like he’s five seconds from calling me “milady,” though. Wait, in PLA I think he actually does that. It might be “madam.” He’s so embarrassing. 7/10 

“The weather outsider is lovely today.” 

Sounds like he’s about to take his lunch break so we can enjoy it together. 8/10 

“So, how about it? Care to go on an outing with me?” 

Already beat him to it. He’s trying so hard to sound chill, but I think if I said no it would ruin his day. Also, what’s with “outing?” Just say “date.” The game knows you’re saying “date.” This is a dating sim. 10/10

“Please, don’t overexert yourself too late at night. I don’t want to lose one of my loyal customers!” 

First, that’s what she said. 6/10. Second, he’s negging me again. 9/10. Third, he has other loyal customers?! 0/10

“Ah!”

Sounds like the peanut butter baby from that 2016 viral video. 4/10

“Rrrrrrr…” 

Nintendog. 7/10

*Sighs deeply* 

Agreed. 9/10

“Yes.” 

Me when I say “yes.” 5/10 

*Increasingly loud fake bouts of laughter* 

This man is going to end up on the news. 10/10

*Evil chuckle, tapering off into deranged humming* 

This man is going to end up at the Tony Awards. 10/10 

*Bitchy throat clear that turns into a laugh* 

This is how he laughs at the PLA protagonist after he insults their “curious getup.” 10/10

“Outstanding!” 

He’s high, tipsy, and/or sleep deprived, and someone just suggested getting takeout. 6/10 

“As expected…” 

Apropos of nothing, but he does like to feel smart. 7/10 

“CONGRAAAAAAATULATIONS!!!” 

This is perfect. This is a perfect voice line. The voice actor understands the comedy of Volo’s character perfectly. Divine madness aside, he is a merchant NPC almost obsessively invested in the protagonist’s adventures—but unlike many such cases, the narrative both understands and demonstrates how fucking weird and off-putting that is. 1000000/10 

“I wish you great fortune.” 

Reminds me of the PLA line, “Supporting you now is actually an investment in my own fortunes.” The voice actor nails the double meaning. 7/10 

“HOOOOW DARE????!!!!” 

I can’t find an explanation for this line. I think it’s just random. He’s so fucking weird. Did he read that in a book? Is he in a bad play? 10/10 

*Whimpering* 

Took a quick break to walk around my apartment and poorly make the bed. No further comment. ?/10

*Relieved sigh* 

It’s a relieved sigh. 

*Literal actual moaning* 

???????????????????

*Various other noises* 

The people in the comments of this video were not exaggerating. Holy shit. 

“Have some mercy!” 

WHAT IS THIS GAME RATED??????

*Deep sigh* “Now then…” 

I have no words. I don’t know. Why does this exist in the way it exists. 

“Right! Thank you!” 

I feel like I just witnessed something that I did not ask to witness. Does the Ginkgo Guild have a HR department? 

“My apologies.” 

That is not helping his case. 

“Leave it to me!” 

Good voice line. Great performance. He would say that. We’re back on track, love it. 5/10 

“No thank yewwwwww…” 

Bitch. 8/10 

“Please!”

“Indeed…” 

“That is quite something!” 

All very normal. 5/10 

“You’re too kind.” 

This is the weirdest line delivery yet. He sounds unhinged. Something happened around the 1:19 point of this video that neither of us can pretend didn’t happen. ???/10 

“Until next time.” 

Spoken like a charming male musical theater lead who just did a little song and dance about his life philosophy. 9/10 

“Come on, now.” 

Getting weird again. There is nothing I could possibly possess that would necessitate that amount of beleaguered desperation. 6/10

“Let’s get our blood pumping!” 

Not on the first date—sorry, outing. ?/10 

“The mysteries of the past… oH-hO! How they tICKle my curiosity!” 

Sure. Why not. 5/10 

“Investigating the odd and novel is key to any good merchant’s success.” 

This is delivered pretty much how I would imagine in the game! Also just such a fun line for him—he says this as if it makes all the sense in the world, but it literally doesn’t? It’s a total non-sequitor. Investigating the odd and novel have nothing to do with being a successful merchant, and later in the game he even admits to ditching work to do his research. I’ve always appreciated that part of his characterization—the way he knows that he’s bullshitting everyone and getting away with it, and is simultaneously so smug about his clever ruse and so miserable to be alone in his truth. 10/10

“A HISTORIC MOMENT!” 

Deeply bizarre final line for a deeply bizarre character. I hope he says this about mundane shit like dropping a cup of coffee or getting an email. 10/10.

[poppitron360]

Raise your hand if you have a million bajillion works-in-progress!!!

Because I sure as hell do.

Anyway, I want to see which ones I should prioritise, so I’m doing a poll. Out of the 97 fic concepts i have in the vault, all with varying levels of completion, I have narrowed it down to 12 (the max number of poll options on Tumblr).

Please Vote!

Category 1- ANGST:

1. Ok not too many spoilers for this one but it’s SUPER angsty. All I can say is Leo faces a very creative punishment from Nemesis for cheating the prophecy and coming back to life, and it’s called “The only sad person in paradise” (undertones of Valgrace).

2. Leo deals with coping with the trauma of dying. LOT of angsty headcanons, including one where the design for the chb bead for the summer hoo is set in was the moment of Leo’s death. And he just has to keep that around his neck the whole time, and it’s chocking him. The opening line is “Every so often, Leo needed to remind himself that his heart was still beating.”

3. A curse befalls camp half-blood that’s slowly reversing the effects of their powers. Hecate cabin’s spells are being undone, plants are un-growing, arms healed by Apollo cabin are re-breaking. Magic is being unwound, and then Leo’s body starts to ache, and he realises… does that include a certain Physician’s Cure?

Category 2- VALGRACE

4. Platonic Valgrace (Romance implied)- “Never go to bed angry”- Leo and Jason have an argument on the Argo II. Jason thinks Leo won’t understand him because he’s never had to live up to the expectations of leadership that come with being a child soldier. Leo thinks Jason won’t understand him because he’s never had to fend for himself, he believes everything Jason has is because of who his father is. They storm off (Jason in the literal sense), argue with themselves for a bit- I did a really cool thing where I switch POVs every line or so, as their arguments parallel each other, like in a TV show where two characters are rehearsing a conversation with the other, but using the HOO multiple-POV thing- and then they go to sleep. They both have weird vision/flashbacks/prophetic dreams, where they experience a day in the other’s childhood. They then realise they completely misunderstood one another, and they’re not as different as they thought.

5. Jason and Leo go to New York pride. That’s the whole fic.

6. Instead of… whatever that ending to BOO was, the Gods reward Leo for his sacrifice by bringing Esperanza Valdez back to life. She thanks Jason for taking care of Leo while she was gone, and they have a heart-to-heart. They are officially boyfriends in this. Jason keeps being reminded of his own reunion with Thalia, and how Leo had stayed with him through that. He vows to do the same.

Category 3- MARRIED VALGRACE:

7. Leo and Jason get married (A classic “Wedding Episode”)

8. Just a fic describing married life with Leo and Jason- it’s called “Violets and Marigolds”

9. A fic from the POV of Leo and Jason’s kid, Isabella Valdez. Some angst, but I don’t have the full plot outlined yet. She’s adopted, and they don’t know her true godly heritage, and Leo suspects she might be mortal, and maybe Lupa made a mistake. Leo and Jason argue over whether she should join the Legion (They’re living in New Rome). Leo struggles with his fear of hurting the people he loves with his powers.

Category 4- MISCELLANEOUS:

10. Platonic Perleo- Percy and Leo get captured by government agents and have to escape Area 51 (Vaguely inspired by an episode of Helluva Boss)- VERY NERDY. This is a very fun one.

11. Leo talks to Hestia about… life, I guess. I started writing this while still on TLH and never found an ending, but it’s a good concept. Leo learns to accept his powers as something that can be good, when he only sees the bad. Hestia tells him “If fire was only about danger and destruction, then it would be the symbol of Ares, not Hephaestus.”

12. Thalia, Luke and Annabeth find little Leo while on the run. Leo and Annabeth bond over engineering. Luke tries to use Leo’s trauma as leverage to get Leo angry at the Gods. He tries to put the blame of Leo’s mom’s death on Hephaestus, since he’s responsible for giving Leo his powers. He points out how the Gods are all-powerful, and yet they leave the four of them- their own children- to starve on the streets. Leo in canon harbours a lot of resentment for his situation growing up, and Luke could easily spin that to justify his own anger.

Tagging people who might be interested:

@four-leafed-queer-gal @lavenderfairiez @child-of-helios @green-tea217 @puzzled-pegasus @imasimpdealwithit @123letsgobestie @ginnyluna @euryvices @ollieisanerd @sleepyycapybara @twomanyfandomshelp @lokiwiiiiiii @yoshuko-ew @keefessketchbook @frankzhang-appreciation-posts @hollow8007 @fairytalesociology @via-rant @daonedaonlyskh

If you have any suggestions for things to add to these fics- leave them in the comments. A lot of these I’ve struggled to flesh out/find endings for. Any help is much appreciated and you will be tagged in the fic if I use it.

Also, Lmk if you want to be tagged in any/all of these!

[sid-the-sandwich]

'Obey Me!' character hobby mechanic

This is my second time writing this because I lost the first draft even though I saved multiple times.

Anyways, this is (Maybe) part 2 of stealing features from other games and incorporating it into the mechanics of 'Obey Me!' While writing the shops for each character, my mind wandered and I had a thought, what if there were hobbies like in 'Blush Blush'. Leveling up these hobbies would give rewards such as intimacy multiplier, icons, bonuses, and cards.

I'm a yapper, so this is going to be long. Not proof-read

--------------

firstly, i'll talk about the hobbies mechanics and what it would do:

There should be 4 types of hobbies:

Common- hobbies that almost every character has.

Uncommon- Hobbies that 5 or more characters have

Rare- Hobbies that 2, 3 or 4 characters have

Character specific- A hobby distinct to each character

the rewards for these would be:

Common/Uncommon- Grimm, AP

Rare- Grimm, AP, DP, DV, Character lines

Character specific- Grimm, AP, DP, DV, Character lines, Card pieces

NOTE: all four will add an intimacy multiplier that will apply to only characters who have that hobby

the rewards for the level max for these would be:

Common/Uncommon- an icon of Sheep MC doing the hobby

Rare- icon, Memory card of the characters with that hobby

Character specific- Icon, UR card of that character

The Hobbies:

Common:

Reading

Running

Bowling

Music

Watching TV

Board games

Uncommon:

Art

Cooking

Swimming

Sports

Dancing

Nature

Sleeping

Animal lover

Card games

Rare:

Horse riding

Gaming

Modelling

Partying

Piano

Calligraphy

Knitting

Marine Biology

Demonus tasting

Shopping

Working out

Technology

Character Specific:

Cursed Record collector

Gambling

Cosplay

Cat Enthusiast

Self-care

Competitive Eating

Stargazing

Chess

Tea tasting

Baking

Writing

Magic tricks

Trap making

Sewing

Journalism

There are a lot of hobbies listed above, however considering how long the game is running, and the amount of characters, a wide variety of hobbies make sense.

----------------

Now onto the characters:

Lucifer:

Common:

Bowling

Music

Board Games

Uncommon:

Cooking

Reading

Card games

Rare:

Demonus Tasting:

"I'd love to share a glass with you. Meet me in my study in 20 minutes" "Careful, i wouldn't want to drink too much, who knows what I might do"

Horse Riding:

"Hold on tight to my waist, I'll keep you safe" "Let's take a trip together, far from my brothers"

Piano:

"There's a piano in the music room, you're the only one i trust to use it" "Lets play a duet, naturally I'll take the lead"

Character Specific:

Cursed Record Collector:

"Come to my room, i want to show you a new record I acquired" "I used to have more records but Mammon is holding some hostage for money"

UR Card: Lucifer looking at a record player with Sheep MC on top of the record spinning.

Mammon:

Common:

Running

Watching TV

Music

Uncommon:

Card Games

Sports

Dancing

Rare:

Partying:

"YOOO! THE GREAT Mammon wants to hang out with you! lets go paint the town" "WHA! I CANT HEAR YA OVER THE MUSIC FROM YESTERDAY"

Modelling:

"You can look but ya cant touch... well, i g-guess i wouldnt complain if ya did" "Did ya see the new edition of Devucci? Top cover baby"

Shopping:

"Hey my favourite human, my first, my number one... ya really wanna pay for me today, don't ya?" "YES! I just stole Goldie back from Lucifer! let's go before he finds us!"

Character Specific:

Gambling

"Hey MC... whats your favourite number? thats gonna be my lucky number today" "MC you have to come to the casino with me! you're my good luck charm"

UR Card: Mammon holding Sheep MC running out the Casino

Leviathan:

Common:

Art

Watching TV

Music

Uncommon:

Card Games

Sleeping

Swimming

Rare:

Gaming:

"Luke befriended me in Mononoke Land... who knew he was so good" "Can you come to my room later? i brought a new game"

Marine Biology:

"Henry 2.0 is my friend... sometimes i think i should get him some siblings" "Once Belphie drifted out to sea... we didn't see him for a week"

Knitting:

"Wanna make a Ruri-chan doll with me? It's n-not like i wanna hang out with you or anything" "I'm just a Yucky otaku who likes knitting"

Character Specific:

Cosplay

"H-Henry? y-your dressed as Henry? E-eh d-dont taunt me like that" "Can you be the Azuki-tan to my Ruri-chan? BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!!"

UR Card: A picture of Levi in a Ruri-chan costume and Sheep MC dressed as Azuki-tan

Satan:

Common:

Art

Board games

Bowling

Uncommon:

Reading

Pottery

Animal Lover

Rare:

Calligraphy:

"Don't talk, im concentrating... okay, now continue." "I wrote your name on your book for you... i know you'll enjoy it"

Piano:

"whats your favourite song? ill play it for you" "My heart is fluttering... your notes are really doing something to me"

Knitting:

"I learnt how to knit from Raphael... he's a good teacher... maybe i can teach you some tricks" "Want to knit some scarfs for each other?"

Character Specific:

Cat Enthusiasm:

"MEOW" "Sorry about that- i accidentally cursed myself again"

UR Card: Satan and Sheep MC with a cat filter

Asmodeous:

Common:

Running

Art

Music

Uncommon:

Nature

Pottery

Dancing

Rare:

Partying:

"hi <3 lets go out tonight!" "I can dance all night long! join me?"

Modelling:

"Why does Mammon have to be attractive? he's an idiot" "I'm ready for my close-up <3"

Shopping:

"You should wear an outfit i choose for you" "Lets go to the new lovers' Cafe, my treat"

Character Specific:

Self-care:

"Hehe! i have the cutest face-mask for us to try" "You have soft hands, lets join them..."

UR Card:

Beelzebub:

Common:

Running

Watching TV

Bowling

Uncommon:

Nature

Sports

Cooking

Rare:

Working Out:

"Lets play Fangol together... you remember the rules, right?" "Here... hold the stick like this... good, thats good."

Horse Riding:

"We could both ride on one horse... I'll hold you tight, I promise." "I'm not letting you ride a horse until you wear a helmet"

Gaming:

"You, me, Levi and Belphie should all play a game together sometime; its more fun with more people" "Lets play an easy game this time..."

Character Specific:

Competitive Eating:

"Woah! There's a human world sport that involves eating?" "MC, lets eat a whole pile of hot dogs together! I'll let you have the first bite"

UR Card: Beel eating from a plateful of hotdogs and Sheep MC cheering him on

Belphegor:

Common:

Board Games

Watching TV

Music

Uncommon:

Reading

Sleeping

Animal Lover

Rare:

Gaming:

"The last time i played with Simeon, i slept through 'DevilKart' and still won when i woke up" "Sleep is like life's pause button"

Knitting:

"I only started knitting because i wanted a new blanket, but its actually fun" "I can knitt in my sleep y'know... maybe i can trap you in one of my knitted blankets... heh."

Piano:

"Can you play me a lullaby?" "You really have a lot of time- huh?"

Character Specific:

Stargazing:

"You remember THOSE stars? Those are the one's Beel and I gave you" "I wonder if you think about me when you look at the stars... just like how i think of you"

UR Card: Belphie stargazing with Sheep MC on his chest looking up at the stars

Diavolo:

Common:

Running

Art

Music

Uncommon:

Pottery

Nature

Animal lover

Rare:

Horse riding:

"Lucifer, Mephistopheles, and I like to take leisurely strolls on the Horse ranches... those two are like best friends" "I wonder if Barbatos will allow me to take the day off to entertain you with a ride on my horse?"

Piano:

"Lets have a contest! Who can play better?" "I'll play a tune for you at the next Devildom festival... as our guest of honour"

Demonus tasting:

"Lucifer says the funniest things when he's drunk" "'I love you, now clean your room' such fun! Do i sound like Lucifer?"

Character Specific:

Chess:

"I've never been beat before... you really want to play against me" "If you win, I'll be your 'pawn' for the night"

UR Card: Diavolo playing Chess against Sheep MC

Barbatos:

Common:

Art

Board Games

Music

Uncommon:

Reading

Pottery

Animal Lover

Rare:

Caligraphy:

"The Young Master is lazy when it comes to learning calligraphy" "Its refreshing to see someone so young taking an interest in calligraphy"

Knitting:

"Knitting was something i didn't pick up for thousands of years, who knew it was so... amusing." "I created a quilt, a patchwork of human history as a side project"

Marine Biology:

"It's only logical to learn about the human world sea-life," "In another timeline, we are all fish."

Character Specific:

Tea Enthusiast

"It's piping hot... be careful." "Does it taste familiar? it contains ingredients from your home country"

UR Card: Barbatos and Sheep MC having a tea party

Luke:

Common:

Bowling

Watching TV

Board games

Uncommon:

Swimming

Nature

Animal Lover

Rare:

Marine Biology:

"I LOVE ALL THE CUTE FISHIES" "Barbatos likes teaching me about fish when we cook together"

Knitting:

"Simeon made me a sweater! its so cute! i wear it when i go to the human world!" "MC, can you help me start the row for my knitting?"

Gaming:

"I just sent Levi a friend request on Mononoke Land! he accepted immediately" "Simeon said I'm no longer allowed any more time on my DDD today!"

Character Specific:

Baking:

"Someone get Solomon out the kitchen. PLEASE!" "Can you reach the mixer for me? Simeon put it on the top shelf to hide it from Solomon."

UR Card: Luke and Sheep MC with chef hats and aprons mixing a batch of dough.

Simeon:

Common:

Bowling

Board games

Art

Uncommon:

Pottery

Nature

Reading

Rare:

Working out:

"Being an angel means i have to be in top shape!" "Lets do some exercises together... i'll help you do some stretches."

Modelling:

"A company called 'Majolish' asked me to be their model." "Mammon and Asmodeous gave me tips on how to pose; i could show you later if you want."

Knitting:

"I made Luke a little sweater... Raphael helped me with the design" "Solomon took a picture of me knitting... I'm hunched over."

Character Specific:

Writing:

"Leviathan keeps begging me for a new TSL novel... he really is an avid fan, huh?" "Luke said i should use a computer... i kept pressing the wrong keys..."

UR Card: Simeon typing on a computer, squinting with glasses with a Sheep MC (Also with glasses) doing the same on his shoulder

Solomon:

Common:

Art

Board games

Music

Uncommon:

Card Games

Animal lover

Sleeping

Rare:

Calligraphy:

"This is how we used to write in 'ye olden days'" "Hmm... who else can i taunt with my writing?"

Piano:

"Let me dream a little dream of you ♩" "I wonder what the others would say if i played your faverouite song?"

Marine Biology:

"I still cant believe I'm exiled from the sea" "do you think if i put Leviathan and Barbatos in a tank, they'd fight?"

Character Specific:

Magic Tricks:

"Get ready for the elusive Solomon-dini" "And for this trick, I will take your heart."

UR Card: Solomon in a magician hat with a magician wand, he points the wand at Sheep MC

Thirteen:

Common:

Art

Running

Music

Uncommon:

Sports

Nature

Swimming

Rare:

Modelling:

"I only model so that Solomon has to see my face everywhere!" "Do you... want to do a photoshoot with me?"

Partying:

"Yoooo! Lets go party, i'll sneak you outta RAD" "Lets set fireworks! hahaha!"

Demonus Tasting:

"When i first came to the Devildom, i didnt understand Demonus, now i totally get it!" "I wonder how a drunk Barbatos acts like..."

Character Specific:

Trap Making:

"If you ever need help, just text me... I'll send one of my traps over" "This is 'Spider-squid v4', i made it for you..."

UR Card: Thirteen shooting a net-trap from her contraption with Sheep MC ontop of the trap

Raphael:

Common:

Art

Board games

Music

Uncommon:

Pottery

Animal lover

Sleeping

Rare:

Calligraphy:

"You want to see my writing, why?" "I could write you a poem, I guess..."

Piano:

"I remember playing this tune in the Celestial Realm" "Could you do me a favour? Could you gather Lucifer and his brothers... i wanted to play a song for them"

Knitting:

"I made you a sweater... i heard this design was 'hip' with the humans" "Knitting is easy and repetitive, its addictive that way"

Character Specific:

Sewing:

"I remember sewing the brother's clothes in the Celestial Realm" "You know some new sowing techniques? You humans are incredible"

UR Card: Raphael sowing some clothes with Sheep MC's help

Mephistopheles:

Common:

Art

Board games

Running

Uncommon:

Sports

Pottery

Nature

Rare:

Calligraphy:

"Calligraphy is a forgotten art" "I wish to write your name in as many fonts as i can"

Piano:

"I can play a multitude of human songs I heard from the past" "Lord Diavolo once told me a story of a young boy, but he expressed it through the medium of piano... that was a long hour."

Horse Riding:

"Lord Diavolo takes Lucifer and I to ride horses sometimes, its always so... awkward" "I like racing horses, I've known how to ride horses since i was a mere boy"

Character Specific:

Journalism

"i think you should be on the front page of the school newspaper" "You enjoy spending time with me?"

UR Card: Mephisto and Sheep MC with magnifying glasses

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/12/2024

this one's a bit short. i am now thirty and still unemployed (ten months this week) ://// if you enjoy the tuesdayposts and are not maxed out on your charitable donations for other causes (american healthcare access, healthcare access in other places, war relief, any number of other good causes) i am going to be $300 short for december rent. here is my paypal.

listening

listening to a lot of pete seeger, for my health. there are about one zillion recordings of Old Man Atom, all ever so slightly different. it starts off as a perky gee-whiz-science! tune and continues frog marching the listener along in an increasingly jaunty manner. it's

Then the cartel crowd put on a show To turn back the clock on the UNO To get a corner on atoms and maybe extinguish Every darned atom that can't speak English Down with foreign-born atoms! America for American atoms! I hold this truth to be self-evident That all men may be cremated equal!

it's very depressing to listen to early anti-nuclear protest songs and realize they hold even more true today! song's a bop tho!

-

reading

the feds nabbed someone allegedly related to the semi-dire Snowflake data leaks that have been ongoing throughout the year (Santander Bank, AT&T, Ticket Master, Neiman Marcus, etc).

this guy has been a real thorn in krebs' side for a year or so and participates in some of the worst corners of the internet, which explains the adversarial nature of the writeup. i read through the whole thing going "yeah this guy is Very annoying but why is krebs so mad at him" and then got to the bottom section about other activities. italicized OH moment in real life but bad.

-

watching

continuing noirvember with The Maltese Falcon (1941, dir. Huston).

The Maltese Falcon is a 1941 American film noir in which a San Francisco private detective deals with three unscrupulous adventurers, all seeking a jewel-encrusted falcon statuette.[3] Written and directed by John Huston[3] in his directorial debut, the film was based on the 1930 novel The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett and is a remake of the 1931 film of the same name.[4][5][6] It stars Humphrey Bogart as private investigator Sam Spade, Mary Astor as his femme fatale client, and as villains Peter Lorre and Sydney Greenstreet.

i have two really snotty thoughts to get out of my brain: the modern letterboxed reviews like "i liked this but the homophobia ruined it" weak. all of you are WEAK.

and

i appreciate the work of the tumblrinas trying to queer this story in a more 2020s friendly way. however. sam spade canonically calls someone a slur for using cologne that he deems too feminine. the noir detective series you want is Philip Marlowe, who is at least homophobic in interesting and less physically violent ways.

anyway! gorgeous gorgeous movie. mary astor goes toe to fucking toe with bogey in every scene. a very frantic and frightened woman who is one jump ahead of the pathway crumbling behind her at all times. but she takes the jump and makes it! every time! except for the most important one!!!

-

playing

having a normal one with 12 hours of powerwash simulator

new genshin update rapidly approacheth. there's a lot happening in this screenshot. accidentally careened right past this npc, with one bullet for the poor low-level slime in the background, floaty blue pet in tow. the npc wanted me to deliver something to her sister who is visible under the big tree in the background. i love early area spaghetti code.

-

making

deep cleaned my house again bc i had people over for my birthday, which was a very lovely and very drunk evening of star wars on in the background while we played trivia. not how i expected to enter my thirties! i am not in the life circumstances i expected to be in my thirties, i do not have the life i expected to have in my thirties, etc. feeling a little maudlin and need to do crafts about it but also all the crafts in my home are not quite right!

[fernandomagicalonsomanydances]

Been largely absent from Tumblr since I had to reset my phone but in preparation for the last race of the season here's my updated rating of the drivers based on how much I love and support them

1. Carlos - you are the reason I got into the sport Smooth Operator and "I ain't quitting you" even if you did decide to go to the cellar that is Williams

2. Fernando - with the Newey news hope is restored for my favorite old man to get his much deserved and long overdue 3 WDC "help me Adrian Newey you're my only hope"

3. Oscar - well with Logan and Danny gone and Checo leaving looks like you're getting adopted yet again Osco by me the American congratulations you can now claim 3 more races as "home races" because I'm claiming you as my home driver cause it sure ain't gonna be Canadian Nepo Baby

4. Esteban - oh Estie Bestie they didn't even let you say goodbye. Screw that shit show that is Alpine. Can't wait to see you take Haas to the next level with lovely Ollie Bear beside you (please don't hurt him or I will end you)

5. Max - my trauma bro for life who healed my inner child when he let his little sister Victoria put the sticker on the Redbull cooler at Qatar. You are the champion of the world and of the horror story that is your past

6. Lando - "a gentleman on and off the track" as your bro4lyfe Carlos said. I will never say anything bad about you again after how gallantly you treated Oscar. The goodest boy.

7. Franco - chaos powered by maté please don't go away. We need the heir of Sebastian's rizzardry and Senna's face to stick around

8. Charles - you can be a princess sometimes but you're my best friend's favorite princess just maybe don't act like someone pissed on your cheerios every time Carlos does better than you and please toughen up and lighten up because i don't know if I'm prepared to see BOTH Ferrari pilots be sad wet mops next year

9. Pierre - I used to think you were an arrogant little Frenchman who came off as vain but after burying the hatchet with Esteban at Brazil and then qualifying like a GOAT ever since I'm prepared to look past the past and actually like you now

10. Valterri - oh you cheeky cheeky Finn with your cheeks out everywhere, the grid won't be the same without you and if you want me to help you lock Helmut Marko in a shed so you can get that Redbull seat I'd only be too happy to help

11. Alex - sweet zookeeper I'm sorry your car is held together by scotch tape and prayers these days

12. Nico - the Just For Men hair care model that you are never change Nico... Except hopefully Audi can change the number of podiums you have

13. Yuki - feisty parkour king you deserve the seat alongside Max more than anyone else in the RB family currently and I will help you beat up Helmut Marko if that's what it takes

14. Checo - please go spend time with your family. You were great but you gotta go it's getting embarrassing leave before there's no dignity left to leave with and your successes get lost for the sour ending

15. Kevin - please use your last race in F1 to absolutely embrace the Danish Demolition Derby that you are and clear a path for Hulk's first podium and then enjoy your adorable lovely family and whatever sports you move on to next

16. Zhou - thanks for saving Sauber from the total ignominy of a big ole goose egg at the end of the year. I hope you come back cause you're such an inspiration to your country

17. George - once upon a time you were in my top 3 and then you decided chicanery was the way to take down Max. If you don't believe you can beat him on the track then admit it don't go plotting his downfall by getting him hit with penalty points for basically a non-event. I loved you but now you're just some whiny bitch I used to know

18. Lewis - you literally would have had a chance to surpass George if you too weren't being a whiny bitch Lewis. Threatening to not race the last 3! Whining before Brazil! Wanting to quit in Qatar! Are you or are you not a 7 time world champion? Freaking act like it. Regardless of whatever Toto may say you owe it to the team that brought you most of your championships to at least try. Think of Bono if you can't think of anyone else to show your appreciation by sucking it up a little bit bro

19. Lance - you are basically useless but at least your daddy's money will get my Daddy a better car since he brought Newey in with his dough

20. Liam - I was prepared to forgive you for replacing my beloved Danny Ric and then you went and acted like the biggest prick on the grid and decided it was on sight with any pilot who spoke Spanish or their teammates now at this rate. Your love for Cars cannot redeem your attitude which smells like Durian fruit.

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

Viola is a gifted soccer player who's school has just cut girl's sports. When her twin brother Sebastian decides to go to London to chase a gig, Viola decides to enroll in his new school as her brother. "His" roommate Duke is both a complete hottie and the captain of the soccer team. In order to score a place on the team "Sebastian" agrees to help Duke get with his crush Olivia. However Olivia is totally gone for "Sebastian"! Shenanigans ensue as the difference between girls and guys in both love and sports is explored.

This is a hilarious and irreverent take on Twelfth Night starring Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum. It's incredibly quotable, tons of fun, and a great modern adaptation.

Shirtless Channing Tatum. Positive messages about masculinity! Very quotable. Random acting part for Vinnie Jones. Amanda Bynes at her comedy peak! The shoehorning in of a Shakespeare quote at the end from a play that isn't twelfth night! Peak 2000s romcom

A high school take on the Malvolio Gulling subplot. Sixteen-year-old Marshall Gardner is 1) straight-laced, 2) exacting, 3) judgemental, and 4) perfectionistic. And below the surface, kept hidden from the rest of the world, he’s 5) controlled by his obsessions and compulsions, 6) fixated on the number twelve, 7) hopelessly in love with his best (only) friend, and 8) horrendously imperfect. He’s also 9) universally disliked, 10) the self-made enemy of the former GSA president, 11) just a little too easy to trick, and 12) in trouble.

This book is sooooo fucking good it’s my comfort read!!! Max asks the brave brave question of what if twelfth night was about a high schooler who i want to squeeze like a stress ball and it makes me feel insane. 12/10 book of all fucking time please read it

THIS STORY FUCKS. extremely hard. i read it before i even read twelfth night and let me tell you it works just as well as a stand-alone story as a retelling. it uses the subplot of twelfth night revolving around the servants (which deserves more attention, as a side note) to explore gender and neurodivergence and the inherent horror of being sixteen and it executes every theme extremely well. if you have maybe half an hour to spare honestly sit down and read the whole thing right now. it's so good. sir toby is a lesbian. what more could you want

read the whole thing here

[mgu-h]

Lando Media Ranked by Dignity

FIA Press Conferences: He's sitting on the couch next to multiple world champions. He's answering questions in a thoughtful and serious way. He's fully present in his capacity as a McLaren driver with years of experience in the sport. I'd say 9/10 dignity, taking 1 point off for the times he does things like crawling on the floor to avoid getting in the line of Carlos's shot.

Media Pen Interviews: He's answering the same questions over and over to different journalists and a bit less focused. He's more emotional and less contained. He's bumping into other drivers and chatting. He's professional but sometimes his impish humor surfaces or he gets just a little bit bitchy. 8/10 dignity on average.

Driver Radio: He's driving at insane speed and pumped full of adrenaline, but usually he only presses the radio button when he's got something of relative importance to say, meaning he sounds professional most of the time, except when he's not. There's a range of dignity from like 3/10 with 'it's bwoken' to 9/10 generic driver things like 'tires are graining.'

McLaren Twitter: There's not really enough space to publicly expose his inner gremlin, and he's mostly presented in his capacity as racing driver. Lots of factual reporting of events and post race summaries, and photoshopped pictures of him holding up a fist in front of a large number of whatever he qualified or finished. I'd also give this a solid 8.5/10 dignity for Lando.

McLaren Youtube: The Unboxed series mostly captures him when he's locked in during race weekend, as professional as he gets. He's often looking serious talking to mechanics or pulling his helmet on and off before a session. However he will also be caught up in some hijinks or goofing off, some challenges are demeaning to some degree, taking some dignity points off. I'd say 7/10, remembering that time they poured ice water over him shivering in sheer white leggings in the most gangbang ass non gangbang event I've seen in my life.

Lando's Youtube (LandoLOG): While there are some dips and cringe moments that he decided to share with the world, overall he makes himself look both cool and interesting. He's traveling and doing cool things. I would say an averaged out 6.5/10, just because the series has been going since 2018 and he's done plenty of undignified things on camera in the last six years, but not as many as you might think.

McLaren Tiktok: Lando is frequently a chaotic giggling mess of a man who can't sit properly in a chair. He does have moments of professionalism, but admin has a long leash on this account. Plenty of food is given to fans who want Lando carnally, some topless thirst shots and glamor shots. I'd say 4.5/10 dignity as an average, from 7/10 when admin decides to make him look like a credible racing driver and 2/10 when admin decides it's time for him to flash nipples.

Quadrant Youtube: He's ostensibly in charge. He's the CEO and model for merch. He's making a fool of himself failing at video games he's been sponsored to play. He's rubbing ice cream on his mouth and sobbing from hot wings. 3/10 dignity with occasional peaks to a max of 6/10 when surrounded by people he employs.

Twitch Stream (faceless): I'd say calling into Max Fewtrell's stream to play Tarkov ranks a little higher than when you can actually see his face while streaming, as the lack of visual does preserve a little of his dignity, except when he's singing off key or talking like a deranged rodent, as there's no real recovery from that. As low as .5/10 dignity with a ceiling of maybe 4/10.

Twitch Stream (visible): He's a chaotic and vulnerable mess of a young man. He burned his burger buns so bad that they appeared more like charcoal. He wore an absolutely absurd bathrobe to do tech support. He presented like an omega in heat during a golf stream. He's not self censoring very well at all. He's cute and stupid and deeply annoying. I'd say he sometimes dips down to 0/10 dignity, but there's 10/10 entertainment.

[rainybubbles]

How do COD men confess to you ?

Ghost, Soap, Price, Gaz, Alejandro

If you want more context here the part 1, and 2

G H O S T :

-At the end of your shift, he was waiting for you.

-And Max.

-Because Max was a cute puppy who stole his heart, but he would never tell a soul.

So yeah every day he wasn't on mission. He knew that at 10 pm, he will be at this little pet shop.

-Because he loved how your smile was appearing when you recognized him.

-He loved how you still joked about the ropes he bought or even how when he walked you back home, you were trying to go out of your way to make this walk longer by taking him to the little restaurant.

-This little restaurant, that you chose on purpose, because it has 4 fire escapes, and a perfect view on the outside.

-You knew him.

-And you didn't step back.

-Well in fact you didn't step back when he was just a creepy man who bought ropes at 3 AM, so he -sincerely doubts about your survival instinct.

-So yeah...

-But how did he confess, you're asking me ?

-Well, he didn't.

-Ghost has too many issues to open his heart like this.

-So you decided to make a moove.

-A classic move with a little declaration and a gift.

-Yeah.

.

.

.

-So you bought rope.

-Yeah.

-I know this doesn't sound good.

-It sounds even like the beginning of a horror story but wait.

-You decided to send him a package.

-And in this package you will put a rope tied in a heart form with a letter.

-Telling he took you heart in hostage and you would like him to keep it.

-...

-Seems weird, but it kinda fit your meeting, so it seems like a cute idea.

-Until three months passed and you had no news.

-Not even a letter.

-You didn't panic because sometimes his job was like this, he told you.

-But the problem was you had to move out.

-And even if he had your number, Ghost changed his phone regularly to prevent from some undercover shit.

-Besides your job at the pet shop, he couldn't contact you.

-So you tried to ignore your removal.

-But at the end of the fourth month, you had to admit this relationship will never had an end.

-And you mooved out of the country.

-A bittersweet ending.

-You felt like you were reading a fluff story but forgot to read the tag "hurt/no comfort".

-Shit.

-Maybe next time you should read the tag of your fucking love life.

-Like "a rope man will steal your heart" "angst" "sad ending" "slow burn" "fucking weird story" "not a happy fidelity card guy" "maybe he was into bondage but guess what ? We will never know lol"

-Maybe you were crying when you saw a rope in a DIY shop after this.

-Or not.

-Your dignity and ego will never recover from this memory. (neither did the sales assistant who was just here trying to help you)

-So you tried watching around, maybe the destiny would help you.

-Maybe a tall masked man will appear at your door at 2 PM, under the rain saying he has always loved you and....

-And you don't open the door for your own mom because you're too scared that she could be someone pretending she's your mom so you hoped he wouldn't do this.

-Yet two months after your removal, you had a call from your previous boss.

-You usually avoid calls, but you knew he wouldn't call you if it wasn't important.

-So you answered and...

-He was telling you a package with your name was delivered to him.

-And when you asked what was in it.

-He answered.

-"A fidelity card for rope, with a yes on it."

-You never smiled that hard.

-(Ghost found your new contacts thanks to Lasswell later, to confirm you both confessed to each other.)

S O A P :

-You had kept in touch.

-Through letters and some texts, when Soap was allowed to send them, you started to have a great friendship.

-But lately in the memes that Soap sent to you, you found a lot of references to the French girls in general.

-Firstly you didn't pay attention.

-Until that night.

-When you saw Titanic again with your parents.

-And it clicked.

-The French girls scene !

-By you stopped.

-Why would Soap make implicit reference to this ?

-Then again you remembered his drawings.

-He sent you some of them in his letters.

-When you get back to your home, you gathered them, looking if maybe he had made a portrait of you or had made a joke that you didn't see.

-But it was just random sketches.

-You stared at Ghost sketch eating an ice cream when you noticed something on his mask.

-He had a "W" on it.

-You searched through the sketches and...

-"U to the mow, I go you will" you said out loud after collecting the letters and tried to figure out what he wanted to say.

-And you tried to understand it.

-But except this fucking "mow" and "will"

-You didn't find any coherence in it.

-Did he want to ask you to mow his lawn in his garden ?

-But he didn't have a garden.

-And why a "U" and then a "You".

-Why, why Soap would even do this ?

-He was not the kinda guy that do this.

-"...I think I'm too stupid to find out this shit." you admitted.

-Well maybe your French girls scenes will not be romantic.

-So you texted him saying, you understood he sent you a message.

-But you didn't find how to translate it.

-And he texted you the answer.

-"Will you go out with me ?"

-...

-"Did Price give you the idea Soap ?" you answered.

-"Wait, you didn't answer."

-"Did Price give you the idea ?"

-"You think I couldn't be a romantic, love ?"

-"I think we're both too stupid to create a thing like this, love."

-"... it was L.T"

-"he...Ghost ?"

-"Yes."

-"...did he love titanic ?"

-"he had a collection about it."

-"...wow."

-"yeah."

-"To answer, yes, I would love too. But never ask again advice from Ghost, I don't want to end on an iceberg."

-"Yes, love."

P R I C E :

-Soap and Gaz with a broken arm led to your confession.

-They were both drunk and knew their captain had a thing for you, and it was reciprocated.

-Especially after Price offered you some chocolates to make clear he was interested in you.

-But nothing was happening.

-So with some scotch, and very bad ideas, Gaz and Soap decided that their time to shine had coming.

-They were the Cupids of the base.

-And what had Cupid ?

-Wings.

-If they used their wings to bring you from your office to Price at the bar, then he would be happy and more relaxed in this context, and maybe he will confess.

-Yes.

-Except.

-They didn't have wings.

-So when they jumped out from the roof.

-Their arms broke.

-And who was the doctor at the base ?

-You.

-You didn't go out because you were busy to treat their arms.

-"Maybe we need some bows next time." Soap whispered but it was more like he shouted in Gaz's ears.

-"And some white underwears! Cupid has that. I'm sure if we wore this, it will work for sure." Gaz answered.

-"And what about not jumping from the roof and not drinking that much, hmm ?" you asked.

-"Sssshhhh, we're in a confession plan right now. You can't stop us." Gaz said trying to put his finger on your mouth but ended up to do it on the wall next to you.

-"I'm calling Price to take you back to your bed, you're both too heavy for me."

-"We could walk."

-"It's not walking the problem Soap. It's where you could go."

-"hmm."

-So you called Price.

-The problem was he asked you why.

-Why did the boys jump out from the roof ?

-You blinked.

-He would know when he would come here.

-So you decided to gather some courage and-

-"They try to make us confess by bringing me to the bar with you. But they believe they were angels and could fly."

-The silence was so loud.

-He hung up.

-You sighed.

-Well at least, you said it.

-You didn't expect a yes, but at least an answer would be the minimum.

-When later, you heard a knock, you didn't make the effort to look up.

-You heard Price taking the boys to their beds and the door closing.

-But few minutes later, you heard a knock.

-Surprised, you stood up.

-Maybe someone else has drunk too much and-

-"John." You said surprised.

-"I intend to ask you out with some roses, and tomorrow but I guess two drunk soldiers with broken arms beat me."

-"The experienced strategist beat up ?" you joked.

-"I guess so. I'm sorry it was done like this, love."

-"I don't care honestly. As long as it's you asking me."

-He smiled and took your hand slowly.

-"Well, I can't wait for our first date, then."

-"'Hope Soap and Gaz will not be there."

-He laughed.

-"I can't promise that." he smiled.

G A Z :

-A meme.

-He sent you a meme.

-To confess.

-But you never answered him.

-And when he saw you, you never talked about it.

-So...he understood he was rejected.

-And he was okay with that, hell it was normal.

-He just thought it was reciprocated because you had what seems like dates with him.

-Maybe he mixed up signals.

-So he just never talked about it again, because he didn't want to make you feel awkward.

-But one day during lunch, he heard Soap talking with you.

-"So you got a new one, uh ?" Soap asked.

-"I didn't have the choice. His ass fucking destroyed the previous one."

-Gaz stared at the floor.

-He didn't know you had someone.

-Maybe that was because you never-

-"L.T has a cake, that's for sure." Soap joked.

-Gaz suffocated.

-You-

-And Ghost-

-And Ghost's ass-

-"That's not funny Soap. He fucking destroyed my phone just by sitting on it. It's not a cake. It's a fucking breeze block at this point."

-Your...

-Oh.

-oh.

-FUCK.

-He realized.

-You didn't ignore him.

-You hadn't see his message.

-"How does it happen ?" he asked to be sure of his conclusion.

-"I just let my phone on a bench, and he sat without looking, that's it. But because his ass is apparently more solid that my relationship with my father, or even the fucking Vivelle dop gel, he broke it."

-"Fuckin' hell". Gaz said

-"You can say that again. Why are you asking, by the way ?"

-"I sent you a text and you never answer, so I was wondering why."

-"Now you know. But I will answer, I manage to transfer my data and texts on my new phone."

-Gaz didn't feel well now.

-Soap was here.

-And your phone in your hand.

-Meaning he will see your reaction in live and with a public.

-Like he was on the set of a TV show. But here he could gain your heart and not $100,000.

-But you didn't say anything, neither did open it.

-You just sit and talked with him and Soap like it was not important.

-Because of course you couldn't know what was his text.

-So he waited.

-All the day, for you to open this fucking meme.

-To see it.

-And at midnight.

-He received a Mister Worlwide saying yes.

-Never he was so happy to see this bald head

A L E J A N D R O :

-He had everything planned.

-The moment, the place.

-It was going to be a big thing.

-He talked Rudy about it and even the 1-4-1 during a mission.

-Because Soap teased him about you.

-So he explained how he was going to ask you out and-

-Laswell stopped him.

-Their communications were not over.

-She heard everything

-And when Laswell ordered you to tell the location to Price

-He understood you were on their mission as a technician, and you heard all of it.

-The only thing that could kill Alejandro is Alejandro after all, right ?

-Even when it was dying of embarrassment.

-He mumbled some insults in Spanish and tried to hold his head high.

-He had everything planned, and just a microphone ruined this ?

-No,no, no, no he refused.

-He met you because of those mics, how they dare to betray him like that ?

-He ignored this and finished the mission.

-But on the way back, he heard your voice.

-"Good job guys. By the way I would love going on a date with you, Ale. If you needed to know after...this."

-You know the smile he did, when they interrogate Valeria ?

-It was one hundred brighter right now in the car.

-Soap even wore sunglasses to protect his eyes.

-Alejandro was so fucking happy.

-Maybe he did not hate the mics.

-Even though he's persuaded that someone hacked them this particular day.

___

If you want more : here.

I'm sorry that it took so long to post this part, but when I posted another COD about how you meet Farah, Alex and Konig I had a comment saying it was shit.

And I know my English sucks, so I deleted it and hesitated to write again..

Maybe I need some readers to help me, or maybe this comment was just hateful, I don't know.

In any case, sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language !