#not that you cant just have fun for fun's sake
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befallenstars-archive · 1 day ago
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This'll be the first time that I read one of your works, Ze! Hope you don't mind me yapping. It's recently become a small routine/habit of mine🫂
Spoilers and lots of yapping under the cut!
I wanna start off with the tags. My reaction was pretty normal until I read the "(ajax licks) blood and tears". Was I deterred? No, I was invested. Oh, my...all enemies and no lovers??? Tension only??? I just know this'll be good.
Brb, I'll listen to the song first...
Huh, I'd definitely trust your music taste.
The snow falls thick and fast, yet the village continues to burn. Screams and shouts of villagers, mixed with the clashing of metal, rise above the roar of devouring flames of blue.
Okay! We're diving straight into this. Love that actually.
Those who fail to meet the fae’s standards are left alone, shivering and watching in the cold. 
I GOT GOOSEBUMPS.
The way you write scratches my brain just right. Even better that your style of writing genuinely matches the overall dark vibe you're going for. I can literally feel it in my bones.
Gently grabbing your shoulders before shaking you bc I fell in love at first work with your writing. I need to read more of your works, Ze! Omg, why did it take so long before my dash gifted me with it? I should've looked for it myself!
Sorry, just not-so casually a sucker for your writing style.
It is the most luxurious piece of clothing you own; a beautiful dark green cloth lined with fur, decorated by unfinished hand-embroidered leaves and flowers and bunnies—a project you’ve been chipping away at this winter.
I already noticed this with the way you described the horses but there's truly just something about the way you do it. Like I can oh so easily imagine whatever it is you are narrating
I LOVE THE TINY DETAILS
Snowflakes continue to fall, decorating your hair and eyelashes with diamonds, while the shoulders of your cloak become dusted in sugar. 
Is it bad to say that I wanna eat your fics? (affectionately(?))
The snow dances around you and you can’t help but indulge in a spin, cloak sweeping out around you in a swirl of deep green. Your huff of laughter is stolen by the wind, but the delight within you remains.
I think I fell in love—
You have a writing style that gives me fairy tale kind of vibes. Even if it's dark. It would be so fun reading this out loud with theatrics and some drama.
In my head? I'm doing just that. It is so good.
...
All of this is so good that I can't pick one line and yap about.
You know he is fae right away by his unnatural beauty. His hair glimmers a coppery orange under the light of the full moon, all windswept and dusted in snow. His eyes seem to glow as they scan you from head to toe, a blue just a shade darker than that of the flames destroying the village. Ears taper into a fine point and from his left one dangles a deep red crystal that only makes you think of blood. He smiles, then, as you observe him. His canines are sharp and long, like that of a fox, and you are frozen with wide, shining eyes of a bunny.
GODS
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO WRITE A SCENE THE WAY YOU DO—
IT'S JUST SO???? I CANT EVEN DO JUSTICE TO DESCRIBE IT. I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE.
You don’t think he’s talking solely about the snow. 
I am so deeply immersed in this fic that I physically swallowed when I read this.
He laughs, throwing his head back as the sound erupts from his throat. “Oh, you shouldn’t have done that,” he says, his breath beading in the winter air.
...For the love of— I have thoughts but I shan’t say them out loud for propriety's sake.
He had not intended to take you back to the fae realm, but then you had to go and run.
THAT WAS FOUL
“Ouch,” the fae calls after you. His voice is loud and clear, and you know he’s only getting closer. “Don’t hurt yourself too much trying to escape, okay?”
🙂💢
I dunno, there was something about this that just got on my nerves.
...
It was not in 2025 bingo card to find myself having a tiny crush on this man AGAIN.
What in the sadomasochism...
Nope. No. Bye—
“Are you done?” he asks, amusement coloring his tone. “If not, I can do this all night.”
I just want to be slightly violent. Just a bit.
...and you realize you are at this fae’s mercy, pinned like a prized butterfly in a collection; all pretty and helpless, on display for him to study.
Mnh...yes...I am...slightly dysfunctional.
Sitting in my chair with my back slightly hunched and a hand over my lips as I question myself.
“Try that again, I dare you.” His voice is rough and yet it doesn’t sound like a threat.
......................
Zipping my mouth closed.
...the sensation of your nails digging into his abdomen is not one he’ll forget anytime soon.
What if I actually lose it?
Mnh? Ze? Will you take accountability?!
He tastes the lie and grins. “That’s not true now, is it?”
Okay, I am brought by to sanity by the genuine question of what the hell does a lie taste like?
Ajax is enchanted. Has he ever seen a human so beautiful?
And I am back to the edge of my sanity. Lovely.
His groan of delight is overlapped by your whimper, the cut on your cheek stinging as fear flows through your veins.
...slamming my head on the table right now.
What— no, I?? This is...am I really? No...what? Hahaha. That's not...maybe?
Ajax grins, taking in the vision before him. “You’re perfect.”
I'm going insane.
Okay, the note was really cute tho??? I'm sorry but I imagine it in a chibi kind of style where Targtaglia's standing by the door while reader collects their stuff. Maybe doggo will betray the reader by being nice to Tartraglia, who absolutely eats it up when the reader glares at both him and the dog.
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EASY ON THE EYES, EASIER TO HATE. tartaglia x reader ✧ 2.7k words
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when the fae raid your village to take humans into their realm, you think you’ll be safe in the woods. but you run into a fae who introduces himself as tartaglia and realize it might have been safer for you to stay at home.
tags and warnings ✧  fae!tartaglia, gender neutral reader (no pronouns used), reader sews and tailors clothes for a living, the fae are pretty brutal, mentions of violence, (ajax licks) blood and tears, chasing (predator prey dynamic), manhandling, all enemies and no lovers (only tension oops). note ✧ this is a darker fic compared to most of my writing; please let me know if I need to tag anything else! title inspired by the song "psycho" by taylor acorn. a gift for @cruel-hiraeth for teahouse's secret santa! happy new year, kae! i hope this fic helps you start off the year right by loving hating tartaglia >u< this was lots of fun to write hehe and got a little long because the au ran away from me... i hope you enjoy! love you lots <3
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The snow falls thick and fast, yet the village continues to burn. Screams and shouts of villagers, mixed with the clashing of metal, rise above the roar of devouring flames of blue.
The fae are here.
They pull people out of their beds, pushing them into the streets. Turn their faces toward the light of a burning house—looking for the beautiful humans, still young and nimble. Or searching for evidence of skill in the arts; a pretty face matters little if one can produce beautiful things in ways that the fae cannot. Those who fail to meet the fae’s standards are left alone, shivering and watching in the cold. 
The humans the fae deem acceptable meet a much worse fate. They are picked up and thrown in the back of carts, drawn by horses with ears too long and manes too wild, their coats unusually glossy and vibrant. The chosen who try to escape are bound with rope that cruelly digs into skin. Those who try to fight are taken down brutally, then laughed at as they writhe on the ground—though the fae make sure no permanent damage is done, for that would defeat the purpose of the raid.
A fae bearing a torch of blue flames brings it up to the walls of each house of those who have been chosen. The blue catches on the wood unnaturally quickly, spreading with a voracious hunger despite the wind and snow. Within the hour, nothing will remain besides a pile of ash. 
But by then, the fae and the chosen villagers will be long gone.
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You are lucky that sleep is so elusive tonight.
Earlier, after tossing and turning in bed for ages, you give up on trying to fall asleep. It is hard to leave your dog who has curled up beside you in a ball of white fluff, but you press a kiss between her ears before changing into some warmer layers. You sweep a thick winter cloak over your shoulders. It is the most luxurious piece of clothing you own; a beautiful dark green cloth lined with fur, decorated by unfinished hand-embroidered leaves and flowers and bunnies—a project you’ve been chipping away at this winter. Putting on boots that have long since been molded to the shape of your feet, you leave your house to catch some fresh air and possibly tire yourself out along the way.
The blanket of pure white is beautiful. The full moon makes everything glitter as snow stretches from the outskirts of the village into the forests beyond. Snowflakes continue to fall, decorating your hair and eyelashes with diamonds, while the shoulders of your cloak become dusted in sugar. 
It is so quiet out here. The whistling of the wind and the thoughts in your head are the only sounds you hear. You are used to this, though. Every day you sew and tailor clothes in the back of the village’s clothing store, often alone for hours on end with nothing but your thoughts for company.
A strong gust of wind rocks you on your feet. Clutching your cloak tighter and tossing the fur-lined hood up over your head, you turn your back on the forest to face the trail of footsteps you’ve made through the snow. You should head home.
Still, you take your time approaching the village. The snow dances around you and you can’t help but indulge in a spin, cloak sweeping out around you in a swirl of deep green. Your huff of laughter is stolen by the wind, but the delight within you remains.
Then the first scream rips through the night.
You freeze. Scanning the houses on the outskirts of the village reveals no dangers.
Another cry follows the first and you know something must be terribly wrong. 
You start running toward the village, kicking up snow as your mind races. Perhaps someone is getting robbed—but no one in town would dare. Or based on the growing amount of cries and shouts, maybe something happened that has injured a lot of people. A fire?
As you make it to the buildings, you see that you are right. Fire engulfs one of the homes on the far side of town, the flames reaching for the sky. A shudder runs through you at the sight, for the flames are unnaturally blue, and though this is the first time you’ve seen such a thing, you have heard of the stories and warnings about the cyan fire and those that accompany it.
You will not let the fae take you.
Whirling around, you sprint for the woods. The screams of the other villagers ring in your ears, but you know it is impossible for you to take on a single fae, let alone an army of them. They are here to steal humans away. For what, you’re not sure, but it can’t be for anything good. Though you doubt they would choose to take you, the best way to make sure you can see the sunrise tomorrow is to hide in the woods and avoid them all.
Reaching the treeline seems to take ages. You keep looking over your shoulder as you run, half expecting to have been spotted, but you only see more and more flames of blue burning houses to the ground.
Your heart skips a beat at the thought of your home being set ablaze—your dog!—but then you remember the fae only burn the houses of the humans they take and relief washes over you.
With your thoughts consumed by the safety of your dog, you don’t notice that you have slowed, trying to catch your breath in the midst of the trees. Nor do you notice that you aren’t alone anymore, until the newcomer starts speaking.
“My, my. Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
Dread sinks like a stone in your stomach. You spin, eyes wide as they land on the source of those playful and teasing words, leaning against a nearby tree with his arms crossed.
You know he is fae right away by his unnatural beauty. His hair glimmers a coppery orange under the light of the full moon, all windswept and dusted in snow. His eyes seem to glow as they scan you from head to toe, a blue just a shade darker than that of the flames destroying the village. Ears taper into a fine point and from his left one dangles a deep red crystal that only makes you think of blood. He smiles, then, as you observe him. His canines are sharp and long, like that of a fox, and you are frozen with wide, shining eyes of a bunny.
He hums and tilts his head. It is then that you remember he asked a question, and your throat works to find your voice to answer him. “I was out for a stroll,” you manage to say, words somehow steady despite your fluttering pulse.
It’s a half-truth, but half-truths are half-lies, and there’s the slightest hint of bitterness in the back of Ajax’s throat that always accompanies humans’ lies. “Oh, really? And was that before or after we made our presence known?”
“Before, actually,” you tell him honestly. “I couldn’t sleep so I decided to take a walk. The snow is beautiful and the moon is bright—it’s pretty, is it not?” If you talk enough, maybe he’ll lose interest so you can make a run for it. You don’t know much about fae, but with the way he’s dressed in nicer clothing than what most men in your village wear, surely he won’t care for running through the snowy forest.
He smiles. “It is pretty.” His eyes refuse to leave your frame, and a shiver runs through you. You don’t think he’s talking solely about the snow. 
Pushing off the tree, he takes a few steps forward, nearly silent despite the boots he wears. He stops when you stiffen, clutching your cloak tighter in your hands. “Where are my manners? Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Tartaglia,” he says, picking one of his many names to give you. “And you are?”
You press your lips together and force a smile. Even you know not to give the fae your name, no matter how much of a gentleman he is pretending to be. Your stomach rolls, unease making your heart rate pick up again. “I’m-” You see the way he perks up in interest, expecting a name. “I’m leaving,” you spit out, turn on your heels, and run.
Ajax watches you leave, the green of your cloak billowing out behind you like a rabbit’s tail inviting him to chase. He laughs, throwing his head back as the sound erupts from his throat. “Oh, you shouldn’t have done that,” he says, his breath beading in the winter air.
He had not intended to take you back to the fae realm, but then you had to go and run. And he wouldn’t dare to let all your hard work go to waste—so he’ll participate in the delightful hunt you’ve set up for him.
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The ground is uneven beneath your feet. It is hard to tell where the tree roots are under the thick layer of snow and each breath of air feels like tiny needles stabbing your lungs. But you push on, feet pounding as quickly as you can force yourself to go.
You want to be as far away from that fae as you can get. He had not looked like he was going to chase you when you last saw him, laughing as you ran away, but there was a look in his eyes that pushed you to keep running.
When you toss a quick glance over your shoulder, your breath hitches and terror rushes through you.
He’s there. In the distance, but you can see him, weaving through the trees at an inhuman pace, his long legs carrying him far. He is gaining on you and you fear what he will do when he catches you.
You push yourself to run even harder, but your legs burn and your throat feels tight. In your haste, you fail to see the lower hanging branches of a nearby tree. A cry tears from your lips as a thin branch slices through the skin of your cheek, but you barely feel the pain with your face nearly frozen from the cold.
“Ouch,” the fae calls after you. His voice is loud and clear, and you know he’s only getting closer. “Don’t hurt yourself too much trying to escape, okay?”
Through your huffs for air, you manage to shout back at him. “Piss off! Leave me alone!”
Ajax grins, closing the distance. “I don’t think I will,” he says.
He lunges forward and grabs a fistful of your cloak. You stumble from the pull, tripping over your feet. He uses the momentum to spin you around, pushing you backward until you hit a tree, forcing the air from your lungs. His body presses against yours right after, caging you in with one leg wedged between your own.
“Let go of me!” you shout, slamming your fists into his chest. You try shoving all of your weight into him but he simply presses back harder until his chest is flush against yours. 
He laughs—laughs!—as you struggle against him, kicking and yelling and throwing your weight from side to side. He does not budge at all under the onslaught. You do everything you can, but only wear yourself out, leaning back against the tree to catch your breath.
“Are you done?” he asks, amusement coloring his tone. “If not, I can do this all night.”
His reaction makes your blood boil, most of your fear buried beneath anger. You glare down past his arm that still grips your cloak and catch sight of a sliver of pale skin peeking through the folds of his clothes. Moving your gaze back up to his face, you spit out, “I hope you die.”
And then you dig your nails into the exposed skin of his stomach, sink your teeth into the arm holding onto your cloak, and shove with all your might.
Ajax stumbles backward. 
You rip yourself out of his hold, twist your body to the side, taking one step forward, free-
Arms wrap around your waist and throw you back toward the tree. Your feet catch on his boot, making you lose your balance, perfect for Ajax to maneuver your body as he wills. This time, he pins your hands above your head, one large hand grasping your wrists, while his other arm presses as an immovable bar across your collarbones. One leg forces its way between your own, and you realize you are at this fae’s mercy, pinned like a prized butterfly in a collection; all pretty and helpless, on display for him to study.
You look down. You don’t want to see the anger on his face before he retaliates for your actions.
The arm across your chest shifts and you flinch as gloved fingers grab your chin, firm but not painful as he tilts your head, forcing you to look at him. You’re taken aback by the grin on his face, canines bared and bloodthirsty, but his eyes are amused.
“Try that again, I dare you.” His voice is rough and yet it doesn’t sound like a threat.
Your eyes grow wide. This kind of a creature is not one you will be able to escape, at least not now—unarmed except for your teeth and nails.
Ajax lets go of your chin, pulling back slightly. He’s delighted by the fire within you. When he first saw you, running toward the woods, he simply thought you a pretty coward. But oh you dared to fight back, using what little defenses humans naturally have, and you even broke skin. Though his fae blood allows him to rapidly heal, the sensation of your nails digging into his abdomen is not one he’ll forget anytime soon.
As he looks away from your face to take you all in, now that you’re not struggling to escape, his gaze catches on your cloak. His eyes light up, tracing over the exquisitely stitched leaves and plants of various green threads, mixed occasionally with lively bunnies of soft browns. There’s a rabbit still unfinished, just a cute head and perked ears, awaiting its body to bring it to life. 
“Did you make this?” Ajax asks, thumb brushing over the embroidery.
“No,” you gasp, heart sinking.
He tastes the lie and grins. “That’s not true now, is it?”
It’s over. Now that he knows you are skilled at sewing, he has all the reasons he needs to bring you into his realm. Despair is a heavy weight, mixed with frustration and anger. Tears well in your eyes and slide down the curves of your face. A few droplets spread into the cut on your left cheek, mixing with the beading blood that stains your skin.
Ajax is enchanted. Has he ever seen a human so beautiful?
He can’t stop himself from leaning in even closer until his nose nearly presses against your ear. There’s a moment where you hear him inhale. Then his tongue swipes up your cheek, lapping up tears and blood. His groan of delight is overlapped by your whimper, the cut on your cheek stinging as fear flows through your veins.
His fingers grip your chin again and he turns your head to the other side. Warmth travels up your cheek as he licks your tears, before pulling away with a satisfied smirk on his lips.
As you gasp for breath, he takes in the sight of more tears streaming down your face, shed in mourning for the loss of your life in the human world. Shudders run through you until your tears slow, giving time for your heart to harden. Slowly, you open your eyes to meet his gaze, yours now blazing with fury and hatred.
Ajax grins, taking in the vision before him. “You’re perfect.”
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note ✧ ajax makes you point out your home and he gets to dig through your stuff as you collect a few things to take with you. don't worry, doggo gets to come with and is treated very well (fae like animals more than humans, usually).
this is not quite the type of thing i usually write, but i hope it was still an enjoyable read! i'd love to hear what you think c:
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the-hasegawa-fan · 3 days ago
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I am genuinely on the brink of tears what the actual fuck. I'm gonna rant abt this and go insane bc i cant do this shit
SPOILERS FOR TETRO CH3 BDA
i genuinely dont even care that it wasn't ken what the actual FUCK. i dont think i've been this distraught since smth rlly fucking personal a few months ago happened. and its over kamimura. holy fucking shit, whoever killed him i will NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE THEM. I DINT CARE IF THEY HAD A GOOD MOTIVE- IDGAF IF KAMIMURA TOLD THEM TO KILL EM, OR IF KAMI CAME IN GUNS FUCKING BLAZING AND TRIED TO KILL THEM.
Like- some really shitty stuff had happened and made me realize "Damn, Kamimura's really fucking relatable" and the thought of that calmed me down. I look at fucking tetro uploads after the shitstorm that was my last class, see MULTIPLE PINGS FOR ME, AND THEN KEN SCREAMING.
He was right there, he was just at breakfast, he was genuinely RIGHT THERE. TALKING, HAVING FUN. HE WANTED TO GO VISIT HIS AUNT, HE WANTED TO SEE HER. HE FINALLY HAD SOMETHING HE WANTED TO DO. Out of everyone in tetro I genuinely believe he should've had the CHANCE to escape and one day learn to love life. Shit maybe I am Ken the way I'm having a fucking mental crisis over Kazutoshi. Istg no one send me any fucking "AHAHHA NO HEAD" bc this shit has me actually shaking and im in fucking school.
Sooo I'm taking a break from tetrocord bc the jokes r already making me so fucking uncomfortable👍
Please, for my mental's sake, do not reply to my art or posts with "There's kamimura's head!!" or some shit like that, please and thank you.
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infizero · 11 months ago
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random thought but i just. arggrhgh i love the vibe toby fox creates in both undertale and deltarune where despite all the silliness and fun and joy, there's this constant feeling of sort of repressed sadness that permeates the whole thing as well. its something that i really really love
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knifekris · 5 months ago
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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millimononym · 2 years ago
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I think we SHOULD normalize calling out people in "cringe" fandoms who come onto other peoples posts/art about that same fandom and act all ashamed about liking that thing or interacting with it in any way because that shit is not ok and way too common
You move into OUR neighborhood, break into OUR house, and demean OUR SHARED INTEREST, FEELINGS and EFFORT because you can't keep your shame complex to yourself?? i am going to lock you in the basement and leave you to starve
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merethessc · 10 months ago
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The amount of times i have to contact Tumblr support is crazy
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princekirijo · 2 years ago
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OK this is the last post I make on the topic because I don't like being too personal on Tumblr (not anymore at least) and tbh I might delete this after a while but it is so upsetting to see people shit on people who are addicted to gacha games. It doesn't matter what it is an addiction is an addiction. I've heard of people going into debt over these things like do you understand how sad and terrible that is. And like maybe idk we shouldn't laugh at them for spending 1k+ on some anime waifu maybe we should idk treat them like a human being and help them.
#turning off reblogs on this because i dont want this spreading#i say personal because ive been affected#not the extent that i've put myself in debt or anything wild don't worry#and to me its less how much i spent and more how fucking fast i was to spend it#but thats as much detail as i'll give#because a) i dont want to discuss it with you guys i love y'all but i have to set my boundries#and b) because as i said i would literally get made fun of for it#and people justify it like 'oh the characters are well written!' yeah because they want you to care about them so you spend money#its literally what the whole system is based on#in gensh!n at least i cant speak for other gacha games#the fundemental system is still fucked up#and look i wouldn't judge anyone for playing these games because that would be hypocritical#so like if you play them whatever#but just do really really think about what you're doing#for your own sake#i know its hard too i wont lie i miss gens!n because i used to play with my gf#she was so understanding though when i came away from it love that woman so much#not sure i would have stopped if it wasn't for her#im probably making it sound worse than it was but then again its probably like oh it wasn't that bad but if you think about it kinda was#just not as severe i suppose#and like final thing but the fact that i literally dont feel i can talk to anyone about this#im much better than i was because ultimately just coming away from the game and the fandom helped#but like because of the stigma around it on and offline i wouldn't feel safe talking about it unless its a professional therapist#and that's so fucked up#sounds like im looking for sympathy im sorry im really not (maybe a little subconsciously) but i want people to know that yeah its fucked#and you're not cool or better because you bully people for it especially if you play them yourself#sorry this post is all over the place ill def be deleting this in a few hours LMAO i just need to get it off my chest#and in fairness to y'all ye're good listeners#ask to tag
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4giorno · 1 year ago
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actually the most important part of this no death run
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also literally helpppp
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clownattack · 1 year ago
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just saw some server screenies of one of the elitists mansplaining/completely talking out of their ass to me abt my own oc and like
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lmao again for a person who keeps talking abt reading comprehension they sure dont get their shit right lmao.
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vogelmeister · 1 year ago
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its 1am and after a long hard think I’ve decided that it’s actually kinda sad that i feel some of my older more conservative relatives can’t read goud or see it of anything becomes of it
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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year ago
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not rascal's deadbeat owner coming around when im not home and telling my roommate she's taking him for a week (our break is 4 weeks or so, implying he's gonna be back here even though That's Her Cat Not Ours) and then just picking up the new toys i bought for him and taking them with her without even asking. hey. hi. those are mine
#like yes i want rascal to use them so he can be happy and fulfilled but also i dont fucking trust you#she didnt even ask. i wasnt even AROUND and she just yoinked them#she also took the new litter box my roomie got for him bc the old one was so caked in shit that 20 mins in a powerful sink didnt even#change it. like bedrock-hard cat shit. who fucking knows how old that was bc they never clean or empty it. fucks sake#and obv he needs a litter box and my roomie threw the old one away bc again it was Unsalvageably And Hazardously Filthy#like we could get sick he could get sick. get a grip#but like i dont wanna be feeding her replacements for her stuff she doesn't take care of over and over#just burning money trying to make rascal's life a Little better bc again our control over his situation is limited bc hes literally her cat#it's so frustrating. like i waited a full month to get him new toys bc i didn't know how long this situation was gonna last and i dont have#cats and cant have them for a while (not that this is stopping me oops) so it's not like the toys'll be used w me#like if she decided to up and drop him at a shelter like she'd planned less than a couple months ago I'd be sittjng in a pile of cat stuff#but he needs more stuff yknow. theyre not providing for him and i have the means to atm. and just when i bite the bullet and surprise him#with a bunch of new things he was SO excited about she swoops in without warning and takes him#god. my roommate told me he just froze up when his owner came in..and he looked so pissed about it#having to go back and leave us and leave all his fun new stuff to go back to the room where they cant even bother to feed him regularly#much less play with him or take care of him#it's heartbreaking. it's such a delicate situation im trying to move carefully so we don't lose him completely but it's so frustrating going#slow. ughhghhgh AND THEYRE ALWAYS LIKE man he's so much nicer to y'all. MAYBE IT'S BC WE TREAT HIM WELL. CRAZY THOUGHT I KNOW#fucking. i love that little man this sucks for him so bad. trying to get him back for a couple days while im here but no response yet#and my roommate's staying on campus over break so she's gonna show up as soon as that week's over like I'm Here For Rascal. Your Time Is Up.#rauguhhhhh sorry if these rascal vent posts are a downer guys. it's just. god dude. fucking hell#i know this is a stupid situation i have gotten myself into i know it's stupid to try and finagle someone's pet from them BUT SHES ABUSIVE#AND SUPER LIKE. INDIFFERENT?? AND APATHETIC ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE PPL SHE DUMPS HIM ON CARE FOR HIM WELL OR NOT. AGH#sighhhh. whatever. gotta focus on tmr's exam and then i can complain about rascal some more.#i get she prolly thinks it's a team effort but the only reason we take her stuff is bc we didn't have a cat and werent planning on it#ggggghhzgzzjzjkkzkzkkzkk. grinding my teeth
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waywardsalt · 2 years ago
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ok since tears of the kingdom is coming out like. insanely soon i figured i’ll just dump how i’ve been feeling abt it here. i wont tag for them and i dont intend to share any but because i have been actively seeking out spoilers i will vaguely reference them here so… idk really long musings on this game and my feelings abt it
(im just writing this out mostly for myself since i really kind of just. want to really figure out how i feel about this)
i… am not excited for totk?
i’ve figured out a bit ago that my severely waning interest in botw and general anxiety and discontent surrounding totk is just that… these games arent for me. i dont enjoy open world games with half a million things for you to do like it’s basically a sandbox. i struggle to really enjoy singleplayer minecraft. the space stage in spore gives me genuine anxiety, both when i played it as a kid and again when i reached it as an adult.
botw and totk are not games for me, and that’s cool. i’ve figured that out.
so why am i getting so damn anxious about this new game?
i am getting totk- not entirely of my own volition, i live with someone who is very genuinely excited for it, so it’s pre-ordered digitally on our switch. i am going to play it and complete it at least once.
the gameplay and world of botw never really got to me, and even what snippets of gameplay i see for totk dont really entice me. it just makes me anxious to think about the sheer amount of new stuff i’ll be dropped in the middle of and how i really dont care about this version of link or zelda or anyone else in botw’s hyrule
and some of the story spoiler stuff and general direction this game is going in has me just worried that the zelda series is moving away from what it used to be into an entirely new direction, that being a direction that it seems like i wont enjoy as much as everyone else seems to
so then i guess my main worry outside of totk is that i just end up struggling to really feel connected to the rest of the community about this? being a contrarian is fun until everyone is enjoying something you for some reason can’t get yourself to
i dont have a lot of hope in the story of totk to harken back to… ANYTHING of worth that past games have built up and made to be so important and interesting. hype is a dangerous thing for a not-yet-released game, and while i think the insane amount of speculation and theories and hype around totk will cause a lot of people to be disappointed with the final story, i dunno if i really wouldve liked it even if the story actually piqued my interest
maybe totk’s gameplay will really hook me. maybe i’ll enjoy the massive open world and gmod-ass gimmicks. but what ive seen of the story makes me less interested and the snippets of gameplay i see just make me remember how bored i now am with botw
at the end of the day this is just a video game with tags on this site i can blacklist and videos i can ignore and lore i can brush aside because at this point loz canon is a suggestion more than anything
i just cant shake the discomfort of once again being an outlier as everyone i see loses their mind about this new game while i just feel overwhelmed by it. i have played botw for a long time and have long since worn it out. i played age of calamity to completion and have not touched it or cared for it beyond the music since. i am not excited about totk and i feel like i am in the wrong due to my opinion
#salty talks#kinda personal? just angsting abt totk and being a lil negative abt it#at this point im not expecting it to blow me away. i no longer have fun playing botw. i do not care for the story or characters#this if anything is to soothe my nerves and is for the sake of my own wellbeing to articulate how i feel about this#it is cool to like. put your feelings into words. this is a lot more eloquent than ‘i miss linebeck’#it feels kinda selfish to bitch abt a game thats not out yet and complain abt it not seeming enjoyable to me#but it looks like a genuinely good game. but its not for me. and thats what im ruminating on here#like i love linear stories games that limit you and fun little gimmicks and characters with complex arcs and all that#i played a little bit of skyward sword earlier and was finishing up the cistern dungeon and was so delighted to see the main statue lowered#i love the dungeons with gimmicks that flip everything around and force you to really think abour your next move#im excited to reach the water temple in oot again to swim around and tinker with the water level#i cant wait to finish oot and move onto mm and its wonderful gameplay and areas#id love to revisit albw and get back to playing ph (and maybe finishing triforce heroes idk abt that one i just want the linebeck outfit)#i played botw for like ten minutes a few weeks ago and then put it away without a second thought#so. if anyone wanted to know how i feel abt totk. its a bit alienating#i might blacklist every variation of ze/ink tbh. sayonara you weeaboo shits and your bland fucking milquetoast ship thats kinda irritating#i may delete this bc it errs on the side of being too personal but i really just need to write this stuff downh#anyways. going back to writing my thing abt my oc n linebeck hanging out and being gay
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so theres a lot of posts going round about the titanic wreck and the missing submarines; all of them that ive seen have made very good points about how shoddy the submersible seemed to be and how the company decided to wait eight hours before reporting it, and how this is a play stupid games, win stupid prizes for the ultra-wealthy who paid like 250grand a ticket for this thing.
but what i havent seen any posts about is how the titanic wreck is a gravesite and this tourism is disturbing the graves of over 1500 people.
sometimes its kinda hard to remember that those on the titanic were real people; it was over a century ago, the story has been romanticised in so many ways (like the movie), theres conspiracies theories galore that cloud everything with misinformation, but at the end of the day, those who died were real people.
do you want their names? heres a list of them; its a long read. and for fun, heres another site where you can see photos of the children and babies who died aboard.
their bodies are long gone and their lives long forgotten. all we have to remember them and honour them is the wreck itself. its all we have of them and it is their gravesite. its their tombstone.
caitlin doughty/ask a morticians video on the great lakes discusses the topic well, and why we should leave these shipwrecks alone because again, they are the gravesites of all the souls who died aboard those ships. we rarely have bodies to recover so we really are left just with the wreck.
and what really upsets me about titanic tourism is how the majority of those who died that night were not the ultra-wealthy rich folks you might picture when you think of ocean liners.
61% of the first class passengers survived
42% of the second class passengers survived
24% of the third class passengers survived
24% of the crew survived **
the majority of those who died that night were regular folk; not to be cliche, but they were just like us. titanics wreck is not only a gravesite for over 1500 people, its also a majority working class gravesite.
and look at us now. look at what were doing. the ultra-wealthy can pay the equivalent of peanuts to them to disturb a mass gravesite of the exact kind of people they exploit today to hold onto all their wealth. 
its easy to point and laugh at these dumb idiots in their playstation controller submarine, seemingly held together with super glue and duct tape, but its also important to remember that what they were doing was simply disturbing a gravesite for fun. though the company does research, these guys werent down there to conduct research, they were there so they could brag about it to their friends. its like “climbing mount everest” while your sherpa does all the work.
if you cant tell, i have a lot of feelings about this. shipwrecks and ocean liners are one of my special interests and im currently building a (beginner’s) model of the titanic, for fucks sake. but i would never go down to see that wreck because its a fucking gravesite and we should not be disturbing their final resting place.
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milktian · 2 years ago
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(Rant in tags. I'll delete later)
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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No one accepted you and loved you unconditionally and instead of doing it for yourself you take it out on anyone who has figured out how to do it for themselves.
#mood#ig im just builp dipperent#like. no one accepted me for shit either. everyone around me had somethin judgemental to say about me.#but i knew it was important to be myself and i knew how much fun i had being myself and that was the most important thing to me.#i always had more fun being myself even when i was alone than submitting and trying to be someone else to make others happy#idk. ig this is the two sides of where ones life ends up of they actually try to do something about loving themselves instead of tkaing it#out on everyone around you. its not like i dont understand its just not an excuse and it still wasnt okay and you've hurt MANY people.#all bc your heart is so bitter and you cant even being yourself to even imagine loving yourself genuinely. you rely so heavily on everyone#outsid eof you to validate that you're good and lovable but even the people around you have shit to talk to#thats an unstable way to feel like who you are is inherently lovable. you and i both know that and you and i both know why#ig lets keep praying they dont find out.#idk why i do this or try to help you sort through your trauma. i guess i feel so guilty that you have no one to work on this with bc you#probably cant afford a therapist or dont care enough abt yourself to get one.#its not my job to help you introspect but ig for the sake of you learning how important it is to be honest with others but more importantly#yourself i feel some type of obligation.#but i cant keep doing this. i cant keep trying to understand you and your thought process.i cant keep sitting here letting you bully me in#public but we both know you're looking at this sorta shit in private.#i dont deserve to be abused like this and its not my job to make you feel better or figure yourself out or help you work on your trauma#or help you recognize where the bs behavior you have comes from and help you try to work on it to become better#bc truth is. idk if you actually care about being better or you just like to know that i still care about you on some level in spite of#everything youve done. ig im hopeful you can be brought out of your shitty resentful bitter vengeful state against humanity that leads you#to hurt people with no mercy all for your own gain. ig im hopeful you can change but quite honestly its not my job to help you with it#esp with the way you treat me publicly anyways.#part of me really hopes you're not just one of those edgy disecfected people from 4chan or whatever who just doesnt care about hurting ppl#and justifies it bc you think someones cringe. im sure thats what you try to tell everyone im like but im finding more and mkre that#iterally everything you accuse me of is projection. even aside from the sa. just so ppl dont look into your history and focus on attacking#me instead.#hell. i wouldnt be surprised to find out you're a kiwifarmer weaponziing ppl on heres intention to help and be moral and weaponizing#the fact that ppl used to think callouts were the way to do that. literally wouldnt surprise me an inch.
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valmillion · 8 months ago
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PANTS WAY TOO BAGGY, LOOKS LIKE HE'S WEARING HIS DAD'S OLD SUIT. THE JACKET LOOKS A BIT BAGGY AS WELL
BUTTONED BOTH JACKET BUTTONS (ROOKIE MISTAKE) ESPECIALLY BAD SINCE HE'S WEARING A WAISTCOAT. I MEAN WHY EVEN WEAR THAT IF YOU'RE GOING TO COVER IT UP
HALF WINDSOR KNOT IS TOO BIG FOR THAT COLLAR. LOOKS STUPID. SHOULD HAVE GONE FOR A FOUR IN HAND
FAUX LEATHER SHOES LOOK CHEAP AS HELL. MAY BE SLIP ONS SINCE YOU CANT EVEN SEE THE LACES. RUBBER SOLE IS OBVIOUSLY STANDARD FOR SHOES BUT DEFINITELY NOT THE MARK OF A HIGH QUALITY DRESS SHOE. YOU CAN GET REAL LEATHER DRESS SHOES ON EBAY FOR LIKE $30
THIS IS JUST A PERSONAL PREFERENCE BUT THE CHOICE OF A SILVER TIE MAKES IT LOOK LIKE THIS GUY IS GOING TO A WEDDING OR SOMETHING. ADD A LITTLE COLOR TO YOUR WARDROBE MAN, THROW IN A FUN POCKET SQUARE FOR GODS SAKE
HE WAS STILL OUTCUNTING THE OTHER GUY I HAVE TO ADMIT
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