#not that the current system is perfect obviously. like he did get a bunch of therapy and specialized therapy but

[llycaons]

something else I really love about feast and famine is how wwx isn't all 'wow lan zhan you're the best I can't believe you've been putting up with me I'm SO grateful you're literally perfect even though I'm so needy thank you so so so much' bc that sentiment arises in a lot of fics that handle his trauma or mental health and it's SO tiresome not to mention ooc. like it's not there for no reason bc wwx did express gratitude in canon and lwj IS a really good and supportive partner, but it's really refreshing to see wwx in a stable and reliable enough relationship where, except that one time he was triggered and panicking, he literally never once doubted that lwj would support and stand with him, nor did he ever feel the need to even thank lwj for being a good partner, even through the extremely heavy and difficult work of supporting him through what happened

and they DO communicate a lot, it's more that the gratitude is left unsaid because it's mutually understood to be unnecessary. and as much I'm in favor of them communicating their gratitude to each other, I feel like this dynamic for them is so much healthier and more mature and illustrates how strong their relationship is and how much they trust each other. also the idea of lwj as this...saintlike martyr who nobly supports and reassures a self-hating wwx is really tiring. he has his own struggles to be sure, but he has them away from wwx and the writing doesn't frame him as some tragic, self-sacrificing hero for it. like I love lwj but that's what it should be about, right? this was always going to be wwx's story first and foremost and I really appreciate works that let it be that

[nogchompa]

Reform is important and obviously necessary but some people should be in prison or under some kind of precautions for the rest of their lives (if not in prison). Two ideas that I think very much can coexist. People want to take extremes on this issue when a case by case basis is actually what i think is needed. I watch a lot of true crime, and I'm sorry, but there are some people who (yes, sometimes through abuse and faults in our own society) can't live totally free among us any longer. I dont think this has to become an issue outside of a person's desire to do harm to others and the evidence and variables we have to calculate those possibilities (not talking about thought crimes, talking about actual evidence that could be used in court and legal history/criminal history). People will try to make the discussion of rehabilitation in prison about anything other than protecting society. A man who has a rap sheet a mile long for assaulting vulnerable people shouldn't be released because that sends the message simply not to get caught so next time he kills the victim so they "can't talk" (this rarely works and the criminals usually end up with life in prison for extremely heinous sadistic crimes anyway). Or like when stalking wasn't seen as a serious crime until it came to light the number of people who actually end up being murdered by their stalkers because no one would take the actions of the stalker seriously. That's why I believe we should examine each person as an individual and also take into consideration the wishes of victims and victims families when considering how to punish people for their crimes.

In short, the topic of prisons and rehabilitation is extremely heavy and riddled with toxic beaurocratic politics and bias. This has always been the problem with the justice system, if you ask me. Morality is overall subjective and to each person it looks different. One can argue philosophically about popular meanings and majority rule, but that brings us back to your quandary of the minority that gets left out.

I appreciate your opinions about it, and I hope you will look deeper into this topic as society moves toward trying to find a balance with people who deserve rehabilitation and what precautions we can take to make rehabilitation and prison environments for all types of offenders more accessible, functional, and effective ❤️

Sorry if this was misguided or not what you were talking about :)

i kept rereading and retyping all kinds of replies 2 this before i realized that yr totally right in a lot of ways tht made me reconsider a lot of what i felt. there are many instances ive seen frm bein a TCphaser myself where there Are repeat offenders who, after being helped and rehabilit8d 2 some extent, dont change. n so the assumption is 2 incarcer8, n i was hesitant in feeling tht because of the current prison situation we r in in the US, but in a perfect ideal optimist world i like 2 daydream abt, prisons arent connected 2 any of what they are now n arent as horrible as they are now, so it wouldnt be inherently horrifying 2 put somebody into prison 2 keep the rest of community frm being at risk if they are a genuine harm. obviously theres an incomprehensible amount of easily fixed moving parts in all of this n i do hope 4 a better future 4 every person always, despite how hard it seems frm where we are rn. regardless, thank u a bunch 4 sending this ask cuz it rlly did make me understand how n why i shld feel the way i feel n theres still a lot 2 consider abt where i stand in all this i spose

thank u askeur <33

[dreamifics]

Love and Monsters

Steve Harrington x Reader!Henderson

Oneshot

Y/N Henderson's life was not like any other normal teenager's life, on a very young age her only friends was her brother, Dustin and his friends.. She was not popular in highschool, but she was not a nobody neither.. Y/N was just invisible, lost in the sea of students.. She was almost through highschool though, one day her life was turned upside down, literally and figuratively.. It's been months since the 'thing' happend, but she was still shaken up.

Y/N was laying in bed, My Generation blasting from her stereo.. She was home alone, her mother was out with some friends, her brother was hanging out with 'King Steve'.. Ever since Steve helped them about Dart, she grew closer to Steve but their short lived friendship ended when Dustin left for camp and Steve worked on their family business while she was stuck preparing herself for college.. Y/N misses Steve, his unfunny jokes and oh god--his laugh..

A loud knock startled her, she shot up from her bed, memories of what happend was flashing back to her.. Despite what she tells her friend, she was not okay.. She almost died twice and that opened up trauma's and issues within herself..

Another loud knock startled her, Y/N shakes her head and just ran to the door.. Reaching their front door, her icy hands made contact with the cold steel knob..

It revealed a disheveled Dustin and Steve, she could tell that there were excitement dripping all over them.. Steve was still wearing his sailor work uniform, he looked cute to Y/N but she once threw that thought in the back of her mind..

"What's up?" She questioned the two.

Dustin just smiled and pushed pass her, while Steve was reluctant to go in.. Steve avoided Y/N for almost the whole summer because of the daunting realization that he was catching feelings for her and that scared him.. Y/N was the kind of girl that likes to watch nerdy movies, spend hours playing games with a bunch of kids and save the world two times.. However, Steve was scared, he was still stuck in the unjustified rules of highschool and popularity. . He still wanted to be 'King Steve', but he also wanted to be Y/N's..

"Nice outfit, sailor boy.." Y/N winked and laughs at Steve, he just shakes his head and went inside their house..

Steve made his way to Dustin's room with Y/N right behind him, but before reaching Dustin's room, he passed Y/N's room.. He unconsciously stopped as he looks around, observing every corner of her room.

There were posters plastered all over her walls, books were all around her room in her bed, shelves and even floors.. In the other side she had a small collection of music that made Steve smile.. Because they had the exact same taste, she is the perfect girl.

"If you want to go in, you're free to wander around my room, anytime.."

Steve turned around to face Y/N, he misses her.. How Y/N sarcastic remarks leave her sweet lips or how she rolls her eyes whenever she see something stupid.

"I might just take you up on that.."

"Hm-mm.. You didn't even talk to me when Dustin left, you broke my heart, Steviee.." She jokes, but it sounded a little bitter.

Y/N did get hurt, Steve stopped talking to her when Dustin left, it seems like Steve didn't really like her as much as she thinks he did. Y/N was bored and got stuck just studying and sometimes hanging out with the party.. It was fun but she was looking forward to hanging out with Steve.

"I'm sorry about that, I didn't want to see my old friends hanging out with someone like yo---" Steve stopped his sentence, he didn't mean that.. His mind was a mess, he said those things because he didn't want Y/N finding out his stupid feelings

"Right..Yeah, I get it.."

"Y/N that's not what I me--"

"Cause King Steve shouldn't be hanging out with people like me?Gotcha.."

Steve didn't even had the time to reply, he was met with Y/N's slamming door.. He didn't mean that.. Steve loved hanging out with Y/N, he want to give her something special.. Steve wanted something more from Y/N.. He knew exactly what and he didn't need a reason why but Steve wanted to give Y/N something more..

Y/N was hurt, she didn't know why but Steve words brought devastation to her.. She felt disappointed and upset, Y/N was expecting something special.. She didn't know what or why but she was expecting something more from Steve.

Y/N was dropping off Dustin to the mall where Steve was working, her lips were in a unsual frown.. Y/N wasn't usally like this, she was having a bad week, Steve just hurt her feelings and she was taking it much harder, it was very unsual.. The two Henderson was making their way to the Scoops Ahoy shop, Dustin was rambling about a message he picked up while contacting his girlfriend.

"Are you listening?" Her brother asked as they reach the store.

"Yepp, you should go in now.."

"Y/N, this could be a good thing!"

"I know..If you need my help, you can find me in the food court.."

"Y/N.."

"Yeah, Dus?"

"Are you okay?"

Y/N's mind went blank, she hated lying to her brother but she didn't want to worry anyone.  She laughs and messed Dustin's hair.

"Of course.. Now go, you know where to find me.." With that she left..

Y/N was not okay, the last time she slept was a month ago.. Nightmares kept crawling back to her, she was growing more paranoid by the day.. She was not okay, but she couldn't tell anyone that.. Everyone else is okay, even Wil who had it more rough than her. And to top that up, she was broken hearted by Steve's rejection of their friendship.. Y/N just massaged the bridge of her nose, when will she be fine?

Dustin and Steve was in the corner of the mall with binoculars in their eyes, Steve saw Y/N.. Sitting alone in the corner, a walkman in her ears and a book in hand.. Y/N was mouthing the word as her eyes read every word on that book and Steve couldn't help but feel all giddy and guilty inside.

"You see anything?" Dustin snapped Steve back to their current task.

"Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for.'' Steve answered honestly, Y/N distracted him again.

"Evil Russians."

"Yeah, exactly. I don't know what an evil Russian looks like."

"All blond, not smiling."

"Mm-hmm?" Steve's eyes didn't looked for any Russians, his eyes drifted to Y/N spot but she was gone.. Where did she go? He couldn't help but worry, was she talking to someone else?

"Also, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing." Dustin added.

"Right, okay, duffel bags." Steve darts his eyes away from Y/N seat but it only fell on a girl he asked out earlier.

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." Steve mutters.

"What?" Dustin questioned.

"Anna Jacobi's talking with that meathead Mark Lewinsky."

"If you're not gonna focus, just gimme the binoculars."

Dustin got annoyed by his distracted partner, he should have brought his sister along.. But he knew that Y/N was not okay, she seemed distant and lost in her own mind.. Always spacing out and Dustin can hear her cries from his room, it killed him to see her loving and hyper sister transform into a walking corpse.

"Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards?"

"I mean, Lewinsky never even came off the bench." Steve rambled on, annoying Dustin.

"Dude, you are the worst spy in history, you know that?"

The two fought for the binoculars, but they just looked stupid.. Dustin initially gave up and gave the binoculars to Steve.

"I don't get why you're looking at girls. You have the perfect one in front of you."

"Seriously, if you say Robin again..." Steve closes his eyes waiting for Robin's name to come up but it never did.

"No, Y/N.. My sister.."

Steve's heart clenched at the mention of her name, he wants Y/N too.. What can he do? Y/N hates his ass now, he was a jerk and he didn't deserve Y/N.

"No, man, she's not my type." Steve answered while he diverts his eyes away from Dustin.

"I saw you staring at her closed door for about 5 minutes."

Steve eyes grew wide at the realization that Dustin was watching the whole time.. Dustin just shakes his head, if he was asked he'd say that her sister felt the same way..

"She's not even... in the ballpark of what my type is, all right?"

"What's your type again? Not awesome?"

"Thank you."

"Hm."

"For you information, your sister is too sarcastic, she's too nerdy for me.."

"Also, she's too...boyish.."

Beautiful, that's what he wanted to say..

"Dude, that's my sister you're talking about, and besides she's not like that.. She's nerdy but so what? Y/N's also not boyish, she's just secured with her masculinity.."

Dustin's word echoed throughout Steve's system, he already knew that.. But somehow hearing it from another person's perspective made him like you more.

"Y/N's just not my type.." He lied..

Y/N was everything he ever wanted in a girl.

"Thanks for the clarification, Harrington." A voice surprised the two.

Y/N was standing behind them, her arms crossed..  Steve's eyes widen in surprise, did she hear everything? He didn't mean that, what did he mean?

"I didn't mean t--"

"Dustin, if you told me you'll stalk people in malls, I should've brought you to a psychiatrist.." Y/N ignored Steve and just focused on her brother.. Y/N would be lying if she haven't felt more hurt by the words Steve dropped.. She had been listening since the talk about girls came up, Y/N spotted the two doing eccentric things and she decided to eavesdrop.

"No, it's called spying.." Dustin rolled his eyes at her sister remarks while Steve was still frozen..

"What's the difference?" Y/N asked, her eyes still focused on he brother..

"It's just different, okay? Were looking for the--" Dustin stopped and looks around to see if anybody was near..

"Russians?" Y/N continued in a loud tone.

"Shh!" Both Steve and her brother shushed her. Y/N was surpised, she glares at the two and moved closer to them.

"Fine, can I tag along? I'm bored and it'll be nice to be a national hero."

The two looked at each other, Steve was nervous.. Y/N obviously didn't want him around, but this could be a chance for him to apologize to Y/N.

"Sure, you can help us look for russians with dufflebags and camo." Dustin pulled her sister to his side.

"That's kinda racis--"

"No, it's not!" Dustin cuts her sister off making Y/N laugh..

"Whatever you say Dus.."

And that's how she ended up inside a theater with two kids and two drugged teenagere.. Y/N's breathing was heavy, they were captured by Russians just moments ago.. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins, she thought this town was finally normal again, but turns out she was wrong.. Very very wrong..

They needed to get out of this hellish mall, Y/N need to find out if there's still russians lurking out, looking for them.

"The two of you need to stay here and take care of them." Y/N instructs to her brother, she pointed at a floopy Steve and Robin.

"Wait--Where are you going?!" Dustin stopped her by pulling her arm.

"I'm going to see if those fuckers are still looking for us.."

"No, we'll come with you.."

"Dustin, you need to stay here and keep a low profile.."

"Y/N don't be a hero.."

"Hey, Dipshit!I'm not trying to be a hero, what I'm doing is protecting you guys because our two friends are drugged and beaten while we brought a little kid into our mess!And I will do everything to keep you all safe, even if that means I get hurt or killed!"

Dustin knew that there's no talking Y/N out of this, her sister was right.. Taking a deep breath, he just nods and hugs her sister..

"Just please, stay safe.." Dustin was in the verge of tears but Y/N held him tight in her arms.. Dustin pulled back, Y/N gave her brother a comforting smile, she rubbed his cheeks and pat his head.

"I'll be okay, I'm a Henderson for god's sake.."

Dustin laughs as tears stroll in his face, she kissed his forehead and walked away, trying not to attract attention.. Taking a deep breath she left the theater, she'll do whatever it takes to keep her brother and her friends.. Y/N's mind flew to Steve, she was pissed off but she was not sure anymore.. The way he saved them and got beat up for them, she couldn't find a reason to be mad at him, all she can think about is his childlish look and how hot he is in his sailor uniform. Y/N just shakes those thoughts away and tried to focus on her task..

Russians..

Steve and Robin were throwing up in a seperate cubicles, they were getting the drugs out of their system.. Retching and puking can be heard all through out the theater bathroom, Steve groans and flushes the toilet.

"The ceiling stopped spinning for me. Is it still spinning for you?" Robin's voice can be heard from the other cubicle.

"Holy shit. No. You think we puked it all up?" Steve rested his back to the mini wall inside the cubicle..

"Maybe. Ask me something.."

"Interrogate me." Robin said in a mocking russian accent.

"Okay. Interrogate you. Sure. Um... When was the last time you, uh, peed your pants?"

"Today."

"What?"

"When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw."

"Oh... All right, my turn."

"Okay. Hit me."

"Have you... ever been in love?"

"Yep. Nancy Wheeler. First semester, senior year." Steve imitates a gunshot.

"Are you still in love with Nancy?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I found someone else, she's a little bit better for me.It's crazy. Ever since Dustin got home, he's been saying, 'You know, you gotta find your Suzie. You gotta find your Suzie.' "

"Wait, who's Suzie?"

"It's some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend. To be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure she's even real."

" But that's not- that's not really the point. That doesn't matter. The point is, this girl, you know, the one that I like, it's somebody that I... didn't even talk to in school. And I don't even know why."

"Maybe 'cause Tommy H. would've made fun of me or... I wouldn't be... prom king. It's stupid. I mean, Dustin's right, it's all just a bunch of bullshit anyways. Because, when I think about it, I should've been hanging out with this girl the whole time."

"First of all, she hates me now because of a stupid thing I said but when we hanged out, we were bonding and shit.. She was perfect for me, she's nerdy, hangs out with kids too much.. She likes the same things I like, her brother is my bestfriend.. Sometimes I wonder if she's real, because she's too perfect."

"Wait--You like Y/N?"

"Yeah, ever since last year.. I like her so damn much, I can't even believe that I said to her that I shouldn't be hanging out with someone like her."

"YOU SAID THAT?" Robin's voice boomed out all over the bathroom, Steve just sighs and slids out of the cubicle..

"Unfortunately, yes.."

Steve slid in to Robins cubicle, she was glaring at him.

"If you ask me, Y/N doesn't deserve someone like me.. She--She's too nice to be caught up in my miserable life.. And besides she would never like me.."

"I think you're still high.."

"No, I'm not.."

"Do you remember what I said about Click's class? About me being jealous and, like, obsessed?"

"Yeah?"

"It isn't because I had a crush on you. It's because... she wouldn't stop staring at you.."

"Mrs. Click?" Robin chuckles and just shakes her head.

"Y/N Henderson, I wanted her to look at me. But... she couldn't pull her eyes away from you and your stupid hair. And I didn't understand, because you would get bagel crumbs all over the floor. And you asked dumb questions. And you were a douchebag. And- And you didn't even like her then and... I would go home... and just scream into my pillow."

"But Y/N's a girl.."

"Steve.."

"Oh.."

"Yeah, now listen..Don't give me the 'she doesn't deserve me' and 'she doesn't like me back' crap.. Y/N was inlove with you since highschool, now you will tell her all about your mushy mushy feelings and you'll two will get married, have kids and you'll have me to thank for. "

"But what about you?"

"Please, I moved on.."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah, with my pretty face?I could find someone in a jiffy!"

The two were laughing when Dustin and Ericka burst into the bathroom.. Annoyance and frustration written all over their face..

"Okay.What the hell?!" Dustin asked very annoyed.

"Dude, we're normal again.."

"That's not the problem now, we need to find Y/N and go with the rest of the party."

"Y/N's not with you?"

"Do you see her?" Erica asked with the normal sass in her voice. Robin rolls her eyes at Erica who just glares at her.

"Where did she go?" Steve ignored Erica's sarcastic question

"She said she'll check the perimeter, but she hasn't come back since." Dustin answered, she was worried for her sister.. In their situation, who wouldn't?

"Shit." Steve and Robin both utter at the same time.

Y/N was changed into a much more inauspicious clothes, it was just some pants and a shirt tucked into it.. She fixed her disheveled hair and wiped her sweat.. She needed to blend in, her eyes wander around the mall.. There were Russians walking around, bviously looking for someone and that someone was them.. All the exits are heavily guarded by guards, there's no way out..

Taking a deep breath she walked back to the theater, praying that her brother and friends was safely still there but before she could even reached the theater, a russian man spotted her..

"I got eyes on one of the target!" The russian said into his earpiece, making Y/N run to the higher level of the mall, her heart racing and she was starting to feel tired.

Y/N just ran until she lost the russian, her breathing was getting shorter by the second..  Y/N's leg was starting to hurt but she ignored it and looked down to see if she can spot her brother..

And there they are, getting chased by guards.. Worries pumped into her brain as they run.. She needed to help them, if not they could get killed.

"Hey stupid spies!I'm right up here, morons!" Y/N screamed at the top of her lungs as she waves her hands around..

Steve and Dustin was horrified as they hide into the counters, Y/N was risking her life for theirs..

The guards that was chasing them made eye contact and targeted Y/N but before they could do anything a car honk.. The russians looked at each other, confused and dazed.. Eleven can be seen controlling the car, she throws it at the bad men and all they could hear were groans..

Y/N felt a surge of relief, she made her way to her brother.. Dustin, Robin, Erica and Steve pop out from behind the counter, steam hissing.. Y/N saw her brother and they all rushed up to hug her..

A tight hug welcomed Y/N, but this hug wasn't just from Dustin.. It was also from Robin, Erica and Steve.. Suddenly they all look up to see the rest of the party.. The hug was cut off by Dustin running to hug Mike and Eleven.

"Lucas?" Erica saw her brother and it made Lucas confuse..

"What are you doing here?"

Y/N who was just taking in deep breaths smiled to herself.. They were safe, but she knew this was not over.. Steve stayed in Y/N side, Robin's word replayed in his mind.. This is his chance to say his undying love to Y/N.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm?" Y/N saw Steve besides her, she was growing tired but Y/N needed to keep thriving for everyone.. Y/N saw that Steve was hesitant, he was nervous and it made her felt nervous too.

"I--I uhh.." Steve mumbles, his tongue was backing out.. Y/N had such a powerful effect on him, to the way she says his name, and everytime Y/N calls him, his heart skips a beat.. It sounds corny, but it was true..

"What?Do you need a speak and spell?" Y/N joked, it didn't help a struggling Steve.. He started to grew more anxious, he needed to get this off his chest.. This could be the last time they all see each other alive, there's no telling what could happen to them.

Y/N was just staring at him

"I have something to confess---"

Steve was cut off by El who was in pain and grunting in the floor..  They all ran to her aid and helped her with the pain she was going through.. Steve slightly curses at himself, maybe this was not a great time for a love confession.. He needed to focus on surviving this hellish adventure.. Again 

It finally ended.. Y/N was relieved, it was over.. They were safe, Y/N and Dustin were sitting in the back of an ambulance, a blanket around them as they hug each other..

"If this shit happens again, we're moving.." Y/N jokes.. Dustin chuckled, maybe they should.. However, the adventures were growing more fun and dangerous..

"Nah, we love being heroes.."

Y/N laughs as she held her brother tighter, she fixed his hair and wipe some dirt off his face.. Even if he's old now, he'll always be Y/N's baby brother.. She smiled at the memory of Suzie and Dustin singing in the middle of mayhem and chaos.

"Stooop, I'm all grown up now!" He stood up and made his way to his friends..

"Don't get too far, lover boy!" Y/N shouted causing Dustin's cheek to blush..

Y/N sighs at the sight of her brother walking away from her, this is the last time she'll save the world, she was tired of monsters.. Y/N was just enjoying the cold air of the night when someone cleared their throat.

"Hello to you Harrington.." Y/N smiled at Steve, he was just standing infront of her.. Y/N can't help but feel giddy when Steve's in his sailor outfit.. It saddens her that Steve was still stuck in his highschool mindset..

"I have something to tell you.." Steve mumbles incoherently, but Y/N understood it.. Steve was always nervous when Y/N's around, he remember the first time he saw Y/N..

Steve saw Dustin on the street asking for help, and he didn't believe at him first but he was soon convinced by how Dustin was nervous and scared.. They pulled up at the Henderson's residence, that's where he first saw--no that's not the right word..

That's where he first acknowledged Y/N..

She was sitting on the porch steps on her pajama's, there were dirt on her face and her hairs a mess.. Y/N's face lighten up when he saw Dustin getting out of the car..

"Hey Dus------What is he doing here?" Y/N's face dropped when he saw Steve also getting out of the car.

"He's our back up.." Her brother answered short and continue walking into the entrance of the basement.

"I'm back up..'' Steve said cocky at Y/N, she just scoffs and followed Dustin..

"For a guy with a black eye, you're awfully confident.."

"That's what seeing a pretty girl like you does to me.." Steve didn't know what he ate that time but he had this whole new confidence when he started talking to Y/N.. However, Y/N didn't seem impressed to his corny jokes and pick up lines, she was always scoffing and rolling her eyes..

"Yeah, you said that too when we were inside..That" Y/N's voice pulled him back to the present.. Y/N gestured at the burning mall infront of them.

"Yeah.." Steve cleared his throat, he opens his mouth, but the words won't come out he's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now, the clocks run out, times up, over, blaow   .

"Are you gonna say something?" Y/N was starting to get nervous, did she do something to make Steve act strange? He was shaking, the sweat on his forehead is flowing like the Niagara Falls.. That's not attractive yet for some reason she found it hot..

"Oh--Yeah--Uhh.." He failed to say words again, why can't he just go straight to the point?

Robin who was with the rest of the party was staring at a stuttering and nervous Steve.. The rest started to notice even Jonathan and Nancy who was in each others arms..

"When is he gonna tell my sister that he likes her?" Dustin ponder as he stares at the two..

"I don't know, he's taking forever just uttering one sentence.." Lucas pitched in making the others laugh..

"I thought Steve was a suave and cool guy?" Mike jokes causing some of them to laugh, some was just quiet.. They were still having a hard time grasping all of this, especially Max..

"He's a nerd just like you guys.." Nancy answered, they all shake their heads as they watch Steve nervously fidgets..

"Alright, I finally had enough.." Robin whispers, the party turned to Robin, carefulky watching to what she had under her sleeves..

"HEY Y/N!" Robin shouts..

Y/N broke her gaze with Steve and brought it to a shouting Robin, not far from them.. Steve just froze to his place, panic started blaring out through his mind..

"WHAT STEVE'S TRYING TO SAY IS HE FREAKING LIKES YOU!" Robin shouted, and it all made them freeze.. Y/N blinked rapidly, did she hear that right? Steve l-likes her? What? When? How? Where?

Steve felt embarrased, he wanted the crawl in a hole and die.. Robin was dead to him, how could she do that? Now Y/N's gonna start to avoid him, she obviously doesn't like her back.

"I-Is that true?" Y/N finally asked the question she was dying to ask, she never really thought about Steve that way.. Fine, she's not gonna lie, there were some thoughts about Steve that kept her up at night..

"I can explain--If you don't feel the same it's totally fi----" Steve panicked and randomly said any excuses he can think off, not giving Y/N a chance to speak..

Y/N rolled her eyes at how Steve was rambling on, she smiled and stands up.. Pulling Steve sailor outfit, she kissed him..

Steve pressed his lips harder on Y/N, he wanted this kiss to happen since he first saw her.. And now it's happening, Y/N puts her arm around Steve's neck.. This was her first kiss and she was glad that it was to Steve.. They both kissed as the burning Star Court crumbles infront of them.  Y/N didn't knew that you can find love and monsters in this terrifying situation..

Dustin groaned at the sight of her sister and bestfriend kissing, he wanted to vomit and scoop his eyes out.. This was not a sight for sore eyes..

"Ugh!I don't want to watch my sister exchange salivas with Harrington!" Dustin sigh under his breath

"Get used to it, you'll be seeing a lot of him.." Robin teased making Dustin die inside.

"Dammit!"

Y/N was just thinking that some people lost someone special, Eleven lost Hopper.. Max lost Billy and the rest will wake up in the morning with terrible memories haunting them everyday, they can no longer feel the assurance that they're safe in the quiet town they grew up to. They knew everything that lies withing the depths of this ground, all the horrible things that Hawkin Labs brought.. Chief Hopper and Billy Hargrove died for them, they were heroes.. And the sad part is, no one will ever know.. Those who deserves to be recognized is no longer here, the heroine act they did save the world yet the world doesn't even know about them.. But Y/N and the rest knows that the sacrifices they made won't go to waste, they'll do everything in their power to keep whatever haunts this eerie town at bay.

I found this highly nice but cringey at the same time so bear with it, I also wanted to update my series about James Potter but I just can't seem to end it ughhhhh..Anyways, I hope you guys like this one..

By commenting, or reblogging this post, you’ll be telling me that you’re interested in being on my tag list! You’re also welcome to DM me or send me an ask if you’re more comfortable with that :)

Please reblog this post if you would liked to be added to my tag list !

Taglist

@sydneekomspacekru

[literaphobe]

i made the parkour tag scoring system more fair to benefit individual success: or, why dream should’ve placed higher

hi! i’m sure a bunch of you who have seen dream’s parkour tag POV must be feeling sort of confused: why did he only get 8th individually despite his spectacularly fast tagging records? why did sapnap, who only hunted twice and got the hunting bonus only once, get a better score than dream, who hunted 4 times and got the hunter bonus every single time?

that’s because the scoring system is flawed, and it splits coins between team members where it’s unnecessary. here are the current parkour tag rules:

runners: 2 coins every 10 seconds you survive runners: 60 coins (split) if you survive all 60s hunters: 6 coins per runner tagged (less over time) hunters: 20 coins for tagging out all 3 members team: 120 coins (split) for tagging all 3 runners first

okay, disregard all that at the moment. here’s how i think scores should be measured on an individual performance level:

runners: 1 coin every second you survive in 60s hunters: 1 coin for every second left on the clock once you have tagged all players

now, hear me out. these aren’t the Only points you can gain individually, it’s just two parts of my scoring system that i need to prove my point: dream did Really good

a brief explanation of the hunting rule i introduced: it’s just a bonus, because of course not every hunter can catch every player, and not all of them can do it fast. but catching really fast SHOULD get rewarded, because it’s called parkour TAG, not parkour RUN. so it’s simple, really: if you catch all 3 runners in 40 seconds, there are 20 seconds left, so you get 20 coins for it. basically, 60 - time taken. pretty straightforward!!

same works for running. if you survive 15 seconds, you get 15 coins. survive 59 seconds, 59 coins. so how does this prove that dream outperformed? let’s compare his scores to quig, who placed 1st individually in parkour tag, using this system

for reference, quig and dream both hunted 4 times. each time, they eliminated all runners before the other team’s hunter. but in turns of hunting timings?

quig: 40s, 38s, 47s, 36s

dream: 16s, 37s, 16s, 20s

like. come ON now. not proportionately rewarding dream for those records is actual daylight robbery. quig did do pretty well as a runner though, a little better than dream did, so let’s see how they performed overall under these two new rules (ik its a bad table shush):

as you can see, dream would’ve gotten 356 coins under this ruleset, beating out quig’s (also very impressive) score of 315. obviously, we still need more sources of coins for hunters who can’t hunt all runners, bonus coins for runners who survive the whole round, and a team bonus:

runners: 10 coins (individual) if you survive 60s hunters: 5 coins per runner tagged, 5 coins if you tag all 3, 20 coins (individual) if you hunt faster team: 20 coins (split) if your team survived and your hunter caught all 3 runners

i won’t explain much, but running perfectly can get you 70 coins a round, whereas hunting faster than the other team’s hunter brings you 40 coins + time bonus. if you hunted them all in 20 seconds for instance, you’d make 80 coins which is more profitable than running, but if you take 55 seconds you only get 45 coins, which incentivizes good hunters to hunt more and good runners to run more. could end up disadvantaging players who keep getting caught immediately and keep failing to catch runners, but the current scoring system already punishes players for that

my scoring system isn’t perfect, but in all honesty it allows players to boost team scores without somehow sacrificing their own individual scores, which is the point. the current one just doesn’t work well enough since there isn’t enough ‘teamwork’ to justify such huge team splits, unlike games like sands of time, where sand keepers would automatically be disadvantaged if the score wasn’t split, parkour tag unfairly redistributes points for one member’s work, meaning you lose less if you do badly & get carried, but you don’t gain as much if you do the carrying

looking at games like HITW and TGTTOSAWAF, where coins are individually obtained at large but more or less involve the same level of teamwork that parkour tag does (making callouts, running around together), it doesn’t make sense why good hunters like dream who stand out because of their parkour skills should have to lose out on individual placement like that. hopefully, mcc continues to update the parkour tag scoring system. it is a relatively new game, after all :)

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Drunk Mistakes

A/N: I got this idea pretty randomly as well. Definitely more mature situations and what not here. Pairing: Gerard x F!Stripper!Reader Word count: 2,014 words. Warnings: Mature/adult themes through the text, no smut or explicit content though.

Being a stripper was a difficult job.

It wasn’t your career by any means, just a side hustle to make some extra cash. When you were on your own for the first time and fresh out of college, barely living paycheck to paycheck, you decided it was time to reconsider getting a side job. And somehow, a stripper worked out.

You really didn’t mind it at all. Despite the sore muscles, you would occasionally get, or the one or two blisters during your time, it was a pretty consistent job. The pay was great, you could come home easily making upwards of a few hundred bucks a night. And you strictly worked only two to three days a week, too busy for anything else.

The only negative to being a stripper was finding a partner. Most men believed and feel for the stigma that you were not loyal, going home with clients, or just didn’t respect what you did for some of your time.

But you were shocked when you found a nice, nonjudgmental guy through a mutual friend. Gerard was incredibly nice, to begin with, but after just a few weeks of seeing each other and getting a little more serious, you finally had the dreaded conversation.

You couldn’t help but cringe when you awaited his response. You could see his eyes grow wide, his mouth opening a bit, clearly unsure of how to respond. “Oh, okay.” He finally said.

“O-okay?” You asked, somewhat confused as to whether or not that was good or bad.

“I mean, you do you, right? It’s not like it’s gonna affect us, right?” He questioned.

“No, I-” You took a moment of silence, “If we’re gonna continue this, I hope you realize private sessions and stuff are going off the table for me. No personal time or anything with clients.” He nodded.

“You don’t have to do that for me.” He stated.

“If we’re going to be something, then I probably should.” You lightly smiled, “It would just make me feel better.” He nodded again.

“To be honest it would make me feel better too,” He lightly laughed, “I just didn’t want to force you into anything you didn’t want to do.” You couldn’t help but just lean in and kiss him, thanking him silently for saying anything of the sort to you.

And your relationship almost became stronger as Gerard realized how much you had trusted him after he admitted he had no problem with it, and you had fallen head over heels for him. He was perfect in every way, and despite the fact you had seen many men, not one could ever compare to your boyfriend.

And you made sure to always remind him of that. You would cook for him, buy him the things he wanted most but was always unsure about, and a lot of intimate time.

You couldn’t count how many times you would get home at 4 am, take a shower rinsing off the smell of the club, and climb into bed with Gerard who would instinctively wrap an arm around you as you cuddled right into him for comfort, immediately feeling a smile spread on your face as you got the warm and fuzzy feeling of being safe with him.

You remember the first time he ever asked to see you perform. At the club. You would have been more than willing to do one for him at home for free that definitely would have led to explicit activities that were forbidden at the club, but him being there, you weren’t sure.

Obviously stripping wasn’t necessarily your endgame. You weren’t ashamed to do it, but you also weren’t sure how he would feel. I mean, sure, he wanted to see you, he was the one who asked but it almost felt embarrassing to be almost completely naked in front of your boyfriend and dozens of other guys. “Babe, I’m not sure.” You admitted barely above a whisper. It was funny, you had seen him perform tons of times, but you were too afraid to do it in front of him.

“You know I won’t judge.” He kindly smiled as you straddled his waist, his hands locking on your hips for support, “If you don’t feel comfortable, it’s alright. But I would at least like to see you.”

“I could give you a completely free show now.” You told him, smiling back and hiding your face in the crook of his neck, “And you would actually be able to touch me.”

“I’m not protesting.” He admitted. You smiled, getting up to grab your shoes, “Wait, for real?” He looked at you as if actually making sure that this was going to happen.

“Yes, of course.” You smiled, looking back at him from where you stood in the doorway, him on the couch.

“I don’t have cash-”

“Gee, please,” You lightly laughed, “Now you just sit back and give me a few minutes. I’ll be right back.”

You had a few nights like that that followed. Whenever he brought up going to your club you would always grow weary, really nervous for what it would actually be like. But here, it was completely free with no rules.

You also knew clubs were not Gerard’s venue of choice. Nothing of the sort, actually. And you didn’t want to make him feel obligated to come in and be extremely uncomfortable all because you worked there two to three nights a week.

You had an agreement, he wouldn’t come in until both of you felt comfortable. Clubs were not his scene, and the only reason you really worked there was to make extra cash. But it was still fun, being able to come home and count your earnings.

Sometimes depending on the night Gerard was there too and would assist in the counting process after you washed all your money, which was always fun. You would dump out one of your designer bags filled with cash into the machine, and once it was done the two of you would sit in the living room just counting. And you would always give Gerard a bit, despite the fact he protested, for his help in individually counting a bunch of ones.

That was another positive aspect of your relationship with him, you had to completely separate accounts when it came to money. You never took any of his and he never took any of yours. However you always found it so cute when you would go and get your nails done every few weeks, and sometimes he would force his card upon you and tell you he was paying.

But this one night in specific, you felt you broke it all.

Every night you always had a shot before you went on. It was something to at least help you not be as serious, and by the time you needed to go home, you were always sober. You could definitely do more safely, but you typically didn’t. However tonight it was incredibly busy, girls fighting over who was going to please what man. None of that mattered to you, you would switch every few stages, go up there do your routine, and not touch a man.

After three shots you were finally ready, your body relaxing and ready to go. Everything was moving smoothly, your cash flow was going up every minute just by the pure larger number of people. You could feel yourself begin to lose some of the grip on your complete mind. You could still think, just not 100%. And therefore not logically.

That’s how you ended up in a private room, on another man’s lap. You weren’t too aware of what was happening, other than he had offered a few grand for you and you took it. But back in the locker room as you finished up your shift, got out of your costume and makeup, everything hit you. Reality hit you like a train, the alcohol seemed to escape from your system immediately. You had broken your main promise to your boyfriend.

You managed to get home despite the alcohol wearing off and the panic attack you were currently having. You knew you had to tell Gerard everything, despite the fact a small part of you wanted to push it under the rug and pretend like it never happened, but that would break a bond in the trust of your relationship, which you didn’t want to further after all that went down tonight.

You walked through your apartment door, your Gerard waiting in the living room while watching a movie. “Hey, babe.” He smiled, getting up, his bright and beautiful face always made your heart skip a beat. But this time, you broke completely down in tears. “Babe?” He rushed over, taking a look at you before wrapping his arms around you, soft sobs being disrupted by the clashing of your acrylics as you too grabbed onto him. “What’s wrong?”

You dove in headfirst, after he led you to the couch you spilled everything. How you had drunk too much, made the decision to have a private with another man, and even how much you made after he asked. Tears were streaming down your cheeks, your entire face bright red with anger at yourself and from the salty tears on your skin. Sobs erupted from your throat, Gerard surprisingly remaining calm during the whole thing.

“Baby,” He said with a light voice, “Why don’t you go take a shower, okay?”

“Gee,” You chocked on your words, “Please, I’m sorry-”

“I know, I know,” He responded with a sigh, “But you’re also incredibly emotional, and before we have a serious conversation I want you to be relaxed, okay?” With reluctance you got up and nodded, not wanting to fight anymore considering you had already done enough damage in a few hours.

The shower did help, which Gerard knew, hence why he sent you to. And also because you always showered when you got home, but now it was needed more than ever. You were now more worried about how Gerard would act. He had every right to break up with you after you betrayed his trust. But you had no clue what you would do if that actually happened.

Once in bed next to your lover, both of you sitting up in a more stiff position, he finally spoke on the matter, “I’m not mad.” He simply said, “Or upset.” You gave a puzzled look, your mind wondering what was going on. He was supposed to be mad and upset, right? “This is how you bring in extra cash, you were drunk, and you didn’t have to quit all private sessions for me in the first place but you did. It was a mistake. And even if I was upset, there would be no need for me to be considering I can tell you’re already upset with yourself.”

“So you’re not gonna break up with me?” You stared at him in disbelief. He shook his head and chuckled.

“Not in my dreams, no.” He admitted, “I couldn’t live without you if I tried.”

“Okay good,” You let out a breath of relief, “Because I think I would have a full crisis and breakdown if you did.”

“Just, please, don’t beat yourself up about this for weeks.” He gave you a serious look, “You’re going to stress yourself out and it’s just not going to be good.”

“I’ll try not to Gee but-”

“No buts.” He interrupted you, going into his wallet on his bedside table, “Go get your nails done tomorrow, then we’ll go to the book store okay? Or record shopping, I don’t care.” He handed you his card.

“Gee I can pay for myself-”

“Just take the damn card, Y/N.” You gave in, taking his card and putting it on your bedside table for tomorrow.

“When my face isn’t red and swollen I’ll give you the lap dance of your life,” You looked at him, “I promise.”

He gave a smile and a chuckle, “Fine by me, I’m not protesting.”

[megastarstriker]

✰𝙃𝙄𝘿𝙀 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔✰

---------------------------------

{ℕ𝕀𝕂𝕂𝕀 𝕊𝕀𝕏𝕏 x ℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻𝔼ℝ}

---------------------------------

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: Cussing and Drugs

Contains: FLUFF AND ANGST

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Nikki Sixx x Female Reader

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩:

𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙: by @metalheartofgold {Hey sweetie, I was so happy when I saw your request were open because I love your writing so much 🥺 So I wanted to request a Nikki Sixx one shot (Mötley Crüe) where he is protective off reader during a party in the Motley house. He knows reader's body has negative reactions to drugs, due to a condition reader had since she was a child, so when someone tried to force reader to take drugs, Nikki stood up for reader. (reader is his gf). Can you make it fluff and angsty? Please don't rush yourself,take your time and publish it whenever you want. I know us writers still have a life outside writing.thank you so much 🖤}

𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩: @metalheartofgold, @ginny-rose-sixx, @xxqueencolourxx​, @littlemisscare-all​,

💕 LOVE YOU GUYS AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA GET TAGGED  💕

---------------------------------

★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒── ★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒── ★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒──  ★

MÖTLEY HOUSE , 1981

“Wow.....” 

I whispered lowly as I looked at the whole crazy and wild chaos that was going on around me. 

Sitting in the sofa I couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable and out of place as I watched everyone having fun, as I held a drink of whiskey in my hand that was not entirely full as I wasn’t planning to get wasted unlike the others who were at the moment shitfaced from the booze they had. People from one side drinking or entering the apartment by the shattered window next to the door  that gave anyone entrance to join the party inside and that was still left unfixed from prior incidents and on the other there was people making out or sniffing drugs that were neatly formed into lines with a straw or just doing a bountiful amount of outrageous and animalistic things altogether in a crowd. 

I slumped even deeper into the sofa as I saw someone puke right near me on the floor causing me to cringe a bit in disgust and worrying concern for the person that did. Scooting away I held the drink that had a bit tighter, obviously uneasy about what could go wrong right about now. Don’t get me wrong I was used to this kind of thing mainly because my boyfriend was the one that held these types of parties along with his bandmates, Vince and Tommy. For Mick though not so much as he was no were to be seen along with the other two who were  both probably doing there ‘normal crazy stuff’ as usual....

There was a bunch of girls who were doing drugs along with some guy that was currently staring at me, obviously interested in me. I simply of course shrugged it off and decided to pay attention to something else. I then saw my boyfriend, in the middle of the room, Jet black dyed hair, gorgeous green hues, a perfect yet devilish and sexy smile that adorned his handsome features that any woman or groupie would fall for, a well defined and muscular body that accompanied with his various sexy looking tattoos, that man was Nikki...

‘Nikki and I have been dating for quite awhile, after his previous bands that went to waste.  He has also dated a few other girls before me and when we were still just friends. It surprised me how we were even a couple to begin with, even more when he asked me out. 

We had things in common, like our love for rock’ n’ roll and other likes and dislikes as well, but different in our own ways. I was there to support him in every way I could of course when he told me about wanting to become a rock star... 

 I knew Nikki was into drugs and was overall a wild rock star when it came to the parties and such, but he could also be his loving self when we were both alone and told me everything because he trusted me and loved me in his own way when he tried his hardest to show it.......

But I on the other hand couldn’t because of my condition I had since at a very young age....

 On our first date, I had let him known about my condition and the fact I couldn’t take drugs, which took me awhile to even talk about as I felt very insecure if he would actually judge and leave me because of my negative reactions to them if I took any drugs that weren’t good for me (those reactions could result dangerous for my body system and mind if I did happen to have them) considering many of my previous ex’s did when I brought it up to them, causing them to abandon me without any remorse for it....

He shockingly of course didn’t and respected me when I told him about it, quietly listening to me. But even now as he kept telling me that it didn’t matter if I had a condition or not that he still loved me, I couldn’t help but feel doubt and insecure about myself...and what he said to me....really didn’t help with the anxiety I had as negative thoughts started to flood my mind leaving me a bit depressed...even hating myself for the way I turned out to be.....as I watched him.’

Nikki was currently drinking a bottle of whiskey while also checking in on me every once in a while to see how I was doing, I never understood why he would considering I new how to take care of myself against anyone that tried to harm me or offer me drugs, but he was damn well stubborn and protective off me enough to not take my answer and leave, but he also respected my space and that I really appreciated from him. 

He gave me a warm smile as his gorgeous green eyes met mine, I smiled in return to let him know I was fine, as he kept talking to the guy in front of him. Smiling and feeling a warm feeling in my chest as I did, I felt the weight of the sofa shift as someone sat right next to me and damn right- It was the guy who was doing drugs from earlier, currently eyeing me up and down, holding a small tray of drugs with two straws. 

“Hey there babes wanna do a bump with me?”, He flirted as he held the small tray towards me. “Um, No thanks. I’m good.”, I said as I hesitated the offer ,my smile turning smaller each second I would stare at this guy next to me, but kept myself firm and cautious of the situation. 

“C’mon, hun. Don’t be such a party shitter come have a little taste of this.”, The man said obviously very insistent as much as I declined.  I d-don’t want any can you please stop bothering!”, I confidently said as I put up a brave front telling the guy to go fuck off, but then I was interrupted as he gripped at my hand tightly catching me by surprise and wince in pain at the tight hold he had on it.  “Let me go you asshole!”, I said as I stepped on his feet with force only for him to slap me across the face, my cheek burning red and stinging from the impact it gave me.

“ You bitch, if you’re not gonna take any of this. Then why even bother be here. You’re just another goddamn lame ass whor-”, He said as he spat those words at me like dripping venom, I couldn’t help but cry my cheeks staining as my mascara also mixed with the salty tears that flew and traveled down my chin and unto the dirty stained floor on the ground. 

‘What if he is right?’ If I’m just another fling to Nikki. Another one-night stand that luckily got to be with him longer than the other chicks he had banged. ‘What if he is just using me? And he actually thinks I’m a useless, miserable, pathetic girl.’ I thought with a heartbreak as I sobbed silently the tears and sadness increasing more with each thought, as I choked on my cries. ‘No I can’t think like that. I know Nikki. He is an asshole but he wouldn’t hurt me like that or in any way. Right?’

I then saw Nikki walk towards us both as he punched the guy square in the jaw ,at the same time he said those hurtful words, with full force as his face was contorted in rage and anger,” Hey! Get your hands off my girl, Asshole. If she said she doesn’t want any then get your ass up and leave.”

The guy of course wasn’t a coward but stupid enough to pick a fight with someone like Nikki,” What did you say to me, jackass-” The guy then got pushed onto the wall.

“Listen to me, dickhead. You either leave her the fuck alone and show some respect or get the fuck out.”, He said as he looked at him dead in the eye his green eyes cutting through his entire soul, as he gripped his shirt like claws prying at his neck with a dead glare. “Fuck you guys! I’m out of your lame ass game-”, He yelled at him pushing Nikki off of him, as he stumbled his way out of the scene, everyone around us was quiet, either whispering stuff, or looking at us in shock at what just happened right in front of them. ”That’s it.” Nikki then shove him away forcefully as he kneed him on his groin causing him to crouch in pain, only for then to grip him by the shoulders and push him towards the door and outside of the house, causing him to fall.” And I better not see your ass here ever again, motherfucker!”, He then closed the broken door as he said that not caring at all whether it fell apart or not.

I, of course propped myself up from the floor still crying from earlier, as Nikki looked at me his eyes turning soft with concern as he heavily breathed. Not wanting to say anything and feeling humiliated, embarrassed, even ashamed I quickly got up and left the living room, wanting to be alone and away from everyone’s judgmental view. I then went into mine and Nikki’s shared bedroom, seeing that it was unoccupied and that the bathrooms were being used at the moment for private reasons. I then made sure to close it as I sunk to the bed crying as I let every teardrop out of my eyes that I have been holding in for so long. ‘Why?’ I thought as I broke into sobs gripping at the bed with anger ‘Why me?’ ‘Why did Nikki pick me?’. 

As these thoughts flooded into my I couldn’t help but look down at myself for being this way, for letting my sad emotions get the better of me and not fighting them off. For not being strong, but weak. 

All I wanted to do was just curl in a ball, and hide away from everyone....

From the band.... 

Vince, Tommy, Mick...

From the world....

And From Nikki....

I then heard a strong knock at the door only for then to hear a voice,” (Y/N) its me, open the door.”, Nikki said as he knocked his voice reaching my ears. “Go away, I wanna be alone.”, I said in between breaths as I cried. “I’m not leaving you, Damnit!”, He responded only for him to re-correct his speech knowing it wasn’t going to help if he acted that way as he muttered a little ‘shit’ at his choice of words before talking again this time in a much softer tone as he leaned against the door,” Please....just let me in.”

It took me a few moments before I could muster the courage to open the door, as I opened it I saw Nikki standing at the doorway only for him to wrap  his two strong arms around me, in a strong and comforting embrace. Startled, I then relaxed as it was only Nikki and not the asshole from earlier. I then cried into his chest letting every tear fall. 

“Shit...I’m sorry, babe.” Nikki muttered into my hair softly as he rubbed soft circles around my back, trying to ease my breathing,” Don’t worry that crazy fucker isn’t coming back any time soon and I’ll sure as hell make sure of it.” Hearing this from him made me relax a bit but not entirely as I still had that thought in my mind. 

“Nikki...”, I whispered quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

“Yes, baby?”, He responded as he gave me his full attention and held me and separated me away from his chest but close enough so that he could still have me in his arms. 

“Why me?”, I asked him sniffing a bit at my stuffed nose that was red and a bit stuffy at the moment from all of the crying I did. 

“Hmm?”, He asked obviously confused as to what I meant by that.

“Why did you pick me?”, I said again in frustration as tears flooded into my eyes yet  again, “You could’ve picked any other girl to love or use and leave me behind. You didn’t have to deal with a girl like me. You could’ve dated someone who was good enough to have the same life as you do. So why-”

I then was cut off as Nikki’s soft and rose colored lips met and connected with  mine softly in a passionate kiss, not filled with lust but with love. I closed my eyes as I tasted the Whiskey on his lips  A few seconds, later he let his lips disconnect from mine gently, as he then looked  at me right in the eyes. 

“Because I fucking care... about you, I don’t give a damn or a single fuck about what people think or say about you, me, or us. If any asshole has a problem with that they can either suck someone’s dick and kiss my ass for all I care. I know I’m not one to say corny and lovey-dovey shit like this, but...If you really wanna know why you instead of some other groupie or whore then.. fine.”

“You are ....someone important to me, and I ....don’t care whether you can do drugs and bumps or not. No person in this ...entire world can compare to you. Because you are someone that actually cared for me and for once has supported me when no asshole could for all my fucking life. Whatever that guy said to you was complete bullshit. You aren’t some one time thing for me and you will never be....”

 He said as he gripped my face softly as he let his forehead gently touch mine as his eyes gazed lovingly in mine, letting out a few curses every one in awhile when he tried to tell me what he truly felt about me, knowing it was pretty difficult and torturing at him to even say as he broke his hard walls and cold front. This was the real Nikki.....

the man behind the stage.... the guy without the harsh exterior.... This was him....

My Nikki....

I smiled at him as my tears turn to happy ones, knowing what he said was truly genuine. I was shocked the first time he showed me his true soft and loving side, but seeing it now it didn’t really faze, rather make me want to love him more and further. 

I pulled his face down for another kiss, his warm and tender lips meeting mine as we both lingered in the moment. We then let our lips depart as he hugged me tighter. He then pulled me to the bed, taking of his shirt to reveal and expose his muscular and toned, body along with his attractive tattoos that grazed and covered his skin and body. His long and strong arms pulled me to his chest as he peppered my forehead with small yet feathery kisses. Sniffing, I felt a warm feeling in my chest as I looked up at Nikki smiling a bit and having a funny idea a bit as the silence in the spacious room started to grow....

“Hey Nik.?”, 

“Yeah?”, He asked softly as he propped his arm to rest and lean his head next to mine and face me as I saw his bright hues met mine, despite the darkness in the room and his messed up, soft and poofy crazed hair that was sprawled around a bit at his eyes, covering them slightly. 

Laying down still looking at the ceiling in deep thought I felt a smile creep as I decided to tease him and whether or not he would get pissed off for it...

“Can you say that whole thing one more time for me?”, I asked him as I looked at him trying to hide the smirk in my face.

“Don’t fucking push it.”, He muttered with a bored tone his expression changing from serious to happy as he gazed at me, laughing....

“Sorry....”, I said as I scooted closer to him on the bed my laughs calming down as I reached for his warmth letting my arms fall on his warm chest and skin,” I appreciate what my nice and handsome boyfriend had to say.” 

“Whatever..”, He answered simply with a sarcastic laugh only turning into a real one with a big smile on his face as he rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair kissing me in the forehead tenderly as he did. 

Still smiling, I couldn’t help but say the loving words to him as I melted into his arms....

“I love you.”

 I said in a hushed whisper but loud enough for him to hear as I cuddled with him, feeling each other’s warmth as we basked in the silence surrounding us in the room away from the loud and ruckus outside of it. 

Relaxing into his embrace and feeling very comfortable in it I couldn’t help but feel sleepy as all my energy was left and drained out of me.

 Whether it was the whiskey, his calming scent, or him right next to me, I hadn’t had a clue nor time to figure out as I dozed of into my slumber. 

I then felt a tingle next in my ear as I swore I could’ve heard this last part as he softly breathed it into my ear in a whispering voice as he noticed me sleeping. With a small smile, he said...

 as his rosy and slightly chapped lips parted and forming those words he never thought he’d said to anyone or to himself before nor he ever believed to ever hear them coming from himself or anyone... almost feeling like an illusion if he did say it.. almost like he wasn’t the one speaking it....as he said those ��three damn forbidden words’ as he would like to call them, next to my soft ear in a hushed tone......

“I love you, too”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{AUTHOR’S NOTE}: This was one of the requests I got from @metalheartofgold​ which was such an honor to write and receive from. Absolutely loved the idea and able to write it down here for you, sweets. I hope you enjoyed it, and that it was to your satisfaction, really. Love you💕

🖤I HOPE ANYONE THAT’S READING LIKED IT AS WEll AND LOVE YOU.🖤

IF ANY ONE WANTS TO ASK ME FOR SOMETHING TO WRITE WITH THE MEMBERS OF  MOTLEY CRUE OR THE DIRT VERSION OF IT.  HERE’S THE LIST FOR ANYONE THAT WANTS TO REQUEST SOMETHING FROM ME. 

REQUEST LIST

💗{LIKE OR REBLOG TO SAVE}💗

[cvastals]

ok heres my 8th char * starts crying cuz im getting ahead of myself bt idc ig *

* brenton thwaites, cis man + he/him  | you know abel romanov, right? they’re twenty-seven, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, their whole life on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to the system only dreams in total darkness by the national like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole ordering coffee with an ice cube because you’re too impatient to wait for it to cool, unhealthy obsession with everything being perfect, forcing on a smile so often it aches thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 3rd, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

background.

second child 2 senator vaughn and philanthropist adelaide who’s currently running for irving’s mayor, younger brother of cain!! the romanov’s r quite well known fr their All American n Lavish lifestyle

growing up abel worshiped cain he was the cool older sibling who cld do it all n still maintain the lifestyle he wanted/their parents expected n abel wanted nothing more than to follow in their footsteps

he tried his best to keep up, did everything cain did, but his grades were always just a bit lower, or his form was always just a bit off, he always felt second fiddle, like it was his role in life as the second child

abel ignored it the best he could for most of his life but he started to notice a different side of cain that he didn’t show their family and a side that :/ abel didn’t like or know at all that was quite vile and this was when some resentment started to form bc their parents thought of cain as their Golden Child n didnt see what was going on behind the scenes whereas abel tried his best to be genuinely good if he could help it

by his senior year of high school things were starting to look up a bit, his already rly good grades were managing to improve, he was on a bunch of social teams, and the coach was saying it was looking good for him to become captain of the soccer team by his second semester, which would look good for scholarships

bt bc i hate my muses obviously this was not going to happen?

abel was still subconsciously trying to impress his family, his siblings, the people around him, wearing himself out until he was stretched far too thin, and he paid for it with one wrong move during a soccer game that had his knee popping out of place and shattering

it was really really really bad, he was in a cast for a few months bc it needed several surgeries, obviously sports were permanently out of his future, he still walks with a limp in his right and is in need of a cane to this day

this sent abel into a really bad depressive spiral sighs that he didn’t really talk to anyone about cause he’d trained himself at that point to just keep things to himself and never reveal his emotions so that no one could catch him vulnerable or have an upper hand on him

however this was the final nudge he needed to really become his Own Person after realizing it’d gone too far and he’d gotten too bad (on medication now to regulate when he gets out of control/starts to get bad again bc it does happen from time to time)

told his parents fk ur money! n moved out of home, had a rly lovely letter of recommendation from airi’s dad that got him into medical school, started joining different teams tht he thought wld b more fun (radio, chess, etc.), starting to distance himself from his siblings a bit too (mostly out of shame)

personality.

rly started to loosen up, threw a lot of parties at the romanov summer beach house without telling his parents n would purposely act out/make more friends than he ever had trying to uphold the family image

is still . quite stiff around the edges to this day tho, thinks everything through and has like daily planners he writes down his entire days in to the Second old habits die hard its jst how he functions at this point

had another rly rly bad depressive episode when cain went missing bt like everything he does? he internalized it baybee!

is like overly nice tho he just rly struggles expressing himself/being openly emotional and vulnerable with ppl he thinks they’ll view it as weakness tho he’s a bit desperate to properly let someone in

when cain came back (will b explained in james’ bio) their parents encouraged abel to keep an eye on them n it made abel :/ another reason fr resentment in his eyes (he still loves his brother bt bc hes so bad at expressing himself he thinks hes gna make cain worse if anything)

has been with several ppl bc hes kinda desperate fr approval/fr ppl to need him so hes been quite a good bf in the past bt his incapability to properly open up has put a real Damper on things

likes to think hes in perfect control of his emotions bt explodes a lot bc hes bottled things up fr years

is in no way a Bros Bro but will blush over his shirtless guy friends sometimes then b like . awww so endearing of me i must love my friends sm<3 like jst doesn’t realize he’s Bi LKSHDGKLHSDKLG he wldnt even freak out if he found out he’s just clueless.

thts all . i can think of now ok bye<3

connections.

exes???? he wld have a Few methinks

fwb’s/past hookups/ur regular old Spice

obvs he’s never been w a guy before but i am So Desperate fr a funny/cute plot where a friend or even jst a random hits on him/Opens His Eyes and he goes wow this is all starting to make sense.

ppl he has a crush on…………. bt wld never say anything abt it . in his current Frivolously Unemotionally Emotional state

family friends/ppl he grew up with?? or ppl who knew him before he separated himself from his family a bit n knew him as a diff guy n is like ‘omg wtf lol’ now

obvs . some friends Bleathe

enemies?? ppl who he got annoyed with n jst lost it on bc it was a wrong place wrong time Situation.

thts all i can think of rn very basic bt teehee

[stahlop]

Ready to Run (2/?)

I know it's been 84 years since I posted a new chapter. I am so sorry. Between birthdays, Secret Santa, January Joy, and Neverland New Year, I kind of over extended myself. I'm hoping to update this every two to three weeks now.

Thanks to @imlaxdris71 for continuing to be my beta for this story.

Prologue Ch.1

Read it on Ao3

“Belle.” He says to his boss and the head of the vlog site. “Come on. It’s an opinion piece. You can’t fire me for having an opinion.” 

“I left you four messages and a slew of texts, Killian.” Belle sighs as she pushes a piece of mousy brown hair that has escaped her barrette away from her face as she looks for something on her laptop.

“And that surprises you? I never answered your messages and texts when we dated either.” He looks over at Will who happens to be in the office as well, which is odd because Will doesn’t usually come to meetings between them. Will is usually never out of the editing room when they’re at the office.

“What’s your boyfriend doing here?” Killian asks grumpily. He’s perfectly fine with Belle dating his best friend. He gave Will his blessing when he asked Killian if he could date Belle after they’d broken up. There were no hard feelings between him and Belle; they just worked better as friends.

“Moral support.” Belle says, her eyes lighting up as she has apparently found what she is looking for.

“Since when do you need moral support, Belle?” Killian teases. Belle does not look amused.

“I’m here for you, you wanker!” Will says practically knocking Killian out of his chair.

“Aha!” She says as she pulls up whatever it was she was looking for. “First rule of journalism, Killian, regardless of whether it’s an opinion piece or not, if you make up your facts, you get fired.” She gives him a stern look, one he got very used to when they were dating. It was a wonder she’d never killed him.

“Second rule: never work for an ex.” He sighs. Belle’s face gets even more stern. Killian has never even seen this face before, and he thought he knew them all. She sighs again and clicks a button on her computer. Killian hears the printer spitting out a piece of paper behind her.

“That has nothing to do with it, Killian.” She says as she rolls her chair around to the printer and grabs what it was she printed out. “If you make something up you get fired.” She looks completely exasperated with him, another look he knows all too well. Killian sighs this time.

“I didn’t make up anything, I had a source.” Belle knows him too well to think he would just make something up, so he’s really confused as to where this whole tongue-lashing is coming from.

“Someone reliable?” She questions raising her eyebrow at him. “Or someone in Liam’s bar?” Oh, he knows her way too well.

“Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys in bars. It means they're not driving.” Will laughs at his joke. Killian puts out one arm toward Will and then looks back at Belle as if to say ‘See?’, but she’s still not amused by him. “Besides, l am an opinion vlogger. This is what opinion vloggers are supposed to do.” Killian is slightly agitated that Belle is making him defend himself over this. Usually, he just gets a talking to and that’s that. “It's what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limb. That's what makes me good!”

“No, it’s what makes you fired.” Belle fires back. Killian’s had enough of this.

“What the hell, Belle?” Will laughs again from behind him. So much for support.

“Emma Swan has written a grievance against you and asked you to be fired or she will sue us for slander.” Belle says with finality. Killian’s eyes go wide with shock. Maybe he shouldn’t be getting his ideas from drunk guys in bars. And now that he thinks about it, he really shouldn’t have used her name. Will comes up behind him and rests his hands on Killian’s shoulders in a comforting way. 

“Please Belle, this is my life we’re talking about.” He says, no longer feeling cocky about all this. The wind has been blown out of his sails, so to speak.

“If you go quietly, I’ll see about getting you severance pay.” She says not looking at him in the eyes and handing him the paper she had printed out. He opens it to see the email that Emma Swan had sent about him and he realizes this is real. Just yesterday he was envisioning winning awards for this piece and now he doesn’t have a job.

“Come on mate.” Will says helping him out of the chair and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “I’ll walk you to your desk so you can collect your things and escort you out.” They begin to walk out of Belle’s office.

“I can do it myself.” He says rather angrily. He instantly regrets it. It’s not Will’s fault he’s in this mess. 

“Well, actually, I do. I have to physically make sure you leave the building.” Will says a little embarrassed. 

“Of course.” Killian replies back. This was not how he foresaw his day going at all. Will has ceremoniously provided him with a small box to put everything in. He gathers up a picture of himself and Liam from when they were stationed together on the same ship, both looking pristine in their uniforms. He picks up the picture of Belle, Will, and himself, back when they were all just a bunch of single friends, before dating complications. A picture of himself graduating from college goes into the box, as well as other knicknacks he’s collected over the years. He leaves all the notebooks and writing utensils, he has enough of those at home.

Will stays silent through all this until the elevator doors close behind them.

“I have an idea that will get your job back.” Will says still facing the elevator door and not actually facing Killian. 

“What?” Killian says, confused. “What are you saying?”

“Revenge.” Will says now facing him with a slightly evil smile on his face. He and Will have been friends for a long time, and this is the first time Killian has ever seen this creepy smile grace his face. “How would you like some? A chance to prove that although your story wasn't entirely factual, your theory was correct.”

“The real story on Miss Swan.” Killian interrupts.

 “All the gory details.” Will’s actually rubbing his hands together like a movie villain. Killian raises an eyebrow. This is a side of Will he’s never seen before. For all the trouble they got into as young men, he’s never been blatantly evil about it. But he would like to get his job back. “And if she runs again, even better.” Will shrugs as the elevator bell pings that they’ve reached the ground level and the doors open up to the lobby. 

Will waves goodbye before the elevator doors close back up on him and Killian is left to ponder what Will has said. “Bloody hell.” He whispers to himself and immediately shifts his box to one side and grabs his phone from his pocket. He scrolls to find a car rental place and places the call as he walks outside of his former employer’s building. 

“Yes, I’d like to rent a car for next month.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Henry had been born, Emma Swan had vowed to protect her heart and his heart from any further heartbreak. Having grown up in the foster system, it wasn’t that hard. She’d felt she hadn’t been loved from a very young age, and even though her parents had eventually gotten her back at the age of 10 (they’d been 16 when they had her and thought they’d been giving her her best chance by putting her up for adoption), she still had those trust issues. Neal did nothing to help those issues, and even after he’d gotten out of jail five years later, he was barely there for Henry, despite only living a few neighboring towns over. 

The problem though, was that Emma’s parents were the perfect fairy tale couple (despite the less than fairy tale teen pregnancy and adoption). They had met as children, the mayor’s stepdaughter and the farmer’s son. Her mother, Mary Margaret, and her father, David, had not hit it off at all. They fought like cats and dogs (David even had a scar on his chin from one such fight in which Mary Margaret threw a rock at him). It had eventually all come down to some school dance where they were forced to dance together as the dance’s king and queen, and they had never been apart since. They had married after college and established their careers, and when they had discovered they were pregnant with her little brother, Leo, they decided they wanted their whole family back together. Or at least, have contact with Emma if she’d found herself a loving home already. It took them a few years to find her, and it took Emma a few years to really trust them. After all, they had been the reason she’d been in foster care in the first place. And having a three-year-old brother practically right when she came to live with them sent those trust issues spiraling, as she’d been given up by the Swan family at the age of three when they’d conceived their own child. That was why she’d fallen for Neal so hard and fast. Her parents seemed like true love, and she’d wanted that too. But obviously it didn’t work out as well for her.

And sure, she’d tried finding another guy who could love both herself and Henry unconditionally, but something had always pulled at her gut right as she was walking down the aisle that made her run. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she didn’t want to regret marrying someone, even if she’d been pretty sure right until she walked down the aisle. 

And that’s why Graham was perfect. He knew her. He was under no pretensions about her past. He was currently the town sheriff, but before that he’d been one of the local deputies that helped the FBI take Neal down at her first wedding (the fact that she can think first wedding when she’s never actually been married is still something that wars in her mind). They’d been friends for a long time, he being only three years older than her. And it was after her aborted marriage to Walsh that he finally made his feelings known. Henry already loved him, thought of him as a father figure, and that’s all that mattered. And here they were, a year later, getting ready to get married. 

And she was going through with it this time.

“Graham! Graham!” She runs into the sheriff’s station high off the email she’s just received. “They canned him!” She says excitedly, shoving her phone in his face.

“I’m glad you’re here, Emma.” Graham says, dark blonde hair flopping in his face as he gives her a big ‘luckiest man in the world�� smile. “Try this on.” He hands her a large hiking backpack that he has at the station for some reason.

“Listen.” Emma says, absentmindedly putting her arms through the large pack’s straps as she reads. "Dear Ms. Swan, I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter.  Killian Jones’ vlog will no longer be appearing on our site. Best of luck in your upcoming marriage! Belle French.” She closes her phone and looks at Graham who is now beside her but still holding the pack up, which feels really heavy.

“That’s my girl!” He grins at her, then his face becomes serious. “Now this is the weight of the pack you’ll be wearing on the Inca Trail.” Graham has always wanted to go hiking on the Inca Trail and see Machu Picchu. It’s not really something Emma has ever thought about doing, but it makes Graham happy. It was definitely a better idea than Walsh’s honeymoon plans, which involved seeing different monkey species in their natural habitats all throughout the US. Or August who wanted to go to New York Fashion week and try to crash the runway shows. And then she’s suddenly falling backwards as Graham’s strong hands move away from the pack and the sheer weight of it pulls her down to the ground.

“Um, I think it’s a little heavy, hon. Can you help me up, please?” But instead of helping her up he kneels down and starts peppering her with kisses. She squeals in delight as they start making out on the sheriff’s office floor. Hopefully, no one will come in and interrupt them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma is hanging out at Hairandelle, Elsa’s hair salon, while Henry is visiting with his Uncle Leo, when she sees the black Chevelle convertible drive through the center of town. It’s a weekend, so they do tend to get tourists, especially with the beautiful fall foliage that has started appearing on the trees. Elsa raises an eyebrow toward her. She knows how much Emma loves cars. She’d restored her yellow Beetle all by herself, the only other thing Neal had left her with besides Henry. And the Chevelle is beautiful. Emma is tempted to go outside and take a look, has actually opened the door when the driver (who she’d only been able to see from the back until now) gets out of the car, parked in front of the local B&B. He looks slightly familiar to Emma, and then he takes off his aviator sunglasses and Emma’s temper flares!

“I can’t believe him!” She yells as she slams the door behind her, the bell jangling all over the place. Elsa’s expression changes quickly from the knowing smile she’d been displaying previously to one of confusion.

“Can’t believe who?” Elsa asks.

“Killian fucking Jones!” She points out the window at the Chevelle. Emma doesn’t think she’s ever seen Elsa sprint from her seat so fast as she pushes past her to get a glimpse of the man in the flesh. They both stare at him over copies of fashion and hair magazines.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Emma asks, a little panicked. She can’t imagine it’s for anything good, not after getting him fired from his job.

“Maybe he’s here to apologize?” Elsa says. Emma looks at her as if she’s suddenly turned into a snowman. 

“Doubtful.” She looks back over at him from behind the magazine and he turns toward them at that exact moment. He looks the same as he did on that awful vlog that he spoke on. Dark hair that was styled to look like he just rolled out of bed. Scruff on his chin that made Emma think things she really shouldn’t. Graham had the same type of scruff, he probably just makes her think of him. He’s talking to Leroy, the town gossip, and the grumpiest man she’s ever met (who likes to spend a lot of time in her jail cells after a night of drinking). He points straight toward them and then, they make eye contact. She squeaks and moves her magazine back up over her face. “Oh, god! Did he just see me?” She can feel her entire face flushing.

Elsa laughs. “He doesn’t know what you look like, remember?” She says patting her shoulder. But Killian Jones is now heading straight for them, and Emma is pretty sure Leroy just pointed her out to him.

“Shit!” Emma says as he continues toward the hair salon, a swagger in his step. She quickly jumps into one of the large bubble hair dryer stations, stuffs her hair up into the cap, flicks the machine on, crosses her legs, and puts the magazine up in front of her face just as the bell on the door starts jangling again.

“Hello.” Killian Jones says looking at Elsa intently, probably trying to figure out if she is the woman whose life he tried to ruin. “I’m looking for Emma Swan. Leroy over at the B&B said she was over here.” Emma wonders if Elsa would pretend to be her so she can make her escape. Elsa just gives him her patented eyebrow raise before asking him, “Are you a reporter?” like she doesn’t already know the answer. Emma smiles behind the magazine. Elsa’s going to mess with him. He’ll never know what hit him.

Killian Jones, to his credit, looks a bit taken aback that Elsa just straight up asked him if he was a reporter.

“What?” He seems to be trying to play it off as confusion instead of shock at being called out.

“It’s just that it’s been the most recent experience in our town that anyone asking about Emma happens to be a reporter wanting to interview her.” Elsa goes back to her style station and starts picking up various pairs of scissors, inspecting each pair.

“Because of her upcoming wedding?” Killian Jones offers.

“Oh, no.” Elsa says, turning back toward him brandishing a particularly sharp pair of scissors. “Because she got that asshole vlogger fired.” Killian Jones gives a nervous smile. Emma suppresses a giggle from behind her magazine and pretends to continue to be engrossed in the correct hairstyles for your face shape.

“I am just such a reporter.” He says sticking out his hand to shake Elsa’s. “And who might you be?”

“Elsa Frost. Yes, I get the Frozen jokes all the time.” She says never wiping the smile off her face. “And you are?” 

“Looking for Emma.” Killian Jones says flashing a brilliant smile at Elsa.

“Of course. Emma -- Someone to see you.” Elsa yells directly at her. Killian turns to look at the only other person in the salon, herself, and Emma can’t bring herself to drop the magazine from her face quite yet. She should have known Elsa wouldn’t be subtle. It was not her style.

“Emma?” Killian asks, stopping right in front of her. Well, this couldn’t be more embarrassing.

Emma slowly puts the magazine down and gives Killian Jones her brightest smile, as if seeing that she isn’t affected by him will make him change his mind and leave. She remembers at the last moment that she has the bubble hair dryer over her head and manages to flip it up and not bump her head on it. She doesn’t need to completely mortify herself quite yet.

“I really don’t know how much more you can say, sir.” She will not give away the fact that she knows who he is. He thinks he’s playing it cool, but the fact that he’s a vlogger doesn’t hide who he is in the least. Which gives Emma an idea.

“Hey Elsa!” Emma yells out. Elsa comes back around toward them, her blonde braid swishing behind her. As planned, Killian looks at her as she comes around and Emma mimes cutting his hair behind him. Emma quickly puts her hands back to her sides when he looks back at her. “Do you think I should give this reporter the inside scoop on my wedding?” God she hopes he takes the bait. He looks back at Elsa expectantly.

“I think…” Elsa taps her fingers along her cheek, “no one interviews Emma in here without a haircut.” Her face is full of mirth, but her voice is serious as hell.

Killian’s eyes go wide. “Sorry, ladies, just had one.” He then runs his fingers through his hair as if to prove his point.

“Well,” Emma has another idea that she thinks they’d be able to pull off. “what about a nice hot towel for your face? Get all that city dirt out of your pores?” She gives him a wide smile. “I promise I’ll answer your questions.” Killian looks at her questioningly, but then decides to take the win. He gives a smirk and sits down in the chair.

“So, when’s the big day?” He asks while Emma puts the cape over him. Elsa props him back in the chair so he’s in a lying position.

“A week from Saturday.” Emma says in an upbeat voice. She sounds like one of those peppy cheerleaders she always hated in high school. 

“Church wedding?” He asks with an amused look on his face.

“No. I’m not a church person.” Emma laughs at the notion. “We’re doing an outdoor ceremony in the woods at Graham’s cabin.”

“Sir.” Elsa interrupts. “I’m just going to put some lotion on your face, just to make it smoother. Your face will feel so nice once the hot towels are added.” She turns to grab what she needs and smothers a laugh that bursts out with a cough.

“Gum.” Emma explains. “She’s always choking on her gum.”

“So, Miss Swan. Are you nervous for your upcoming nuptials?” He asks, ignoring Elsa’s outburst altogether. 

“No, but I have been having these bizarre dreams…” And Emma makes up a whole slew of bizarre wedding dreams including all her past grooms walking her down the aisle and looking down to find herself in a red, leather wedding gown.

“What do you think all that means?” She asks him as Elsa removes the hot towel from his face and puts him back up into a seated position.

“I’m not really quite sure,” he begins and puts his hand to his chin as if he’s truly thinking about her dilemma, but stops short when he realizes his scruff is no longer there. His eyes grow wide as he jumps up from the chair and turns toward the mirror.

“Smooth as a baby’s bottom.” Elsa says giving Emma a high-five. Killian doesn’t respond but stalks out of the salon instead. Emma follows him. She’s not done messing with him yet.

“Mr. Jones,” she says as she opens the salon door and rests against it while still open. “I hope you realize what a mistake it was in coming here. I’m not some simpering little girl that you can tell lies about and bully to make yourself feel good. You can’t make me feel bad.” She tries to sound casual about it and leaves her arms resting at her sides, even though every instinct in her body makes her want to cross her arms over her chest. But this guy knows body language. She could tell from the way he carried himself in his vlog. Crossing her arms makes her look mad and angry and she can’t give him that.

“I’m not here to make you look bad, Miss. Swan.” He scrubs his hands over his face in frustration. “But apparently you want to make me look bad.” He says as he rubs his now bare chin. He looks like a totally different person without his scruff. Younger, more innocent. “What I’m here for is revenge.” Killian gets up close to her. Too close for comfort. She can smell the chemicals from the hair removal product they used to rid him of his beard. But she can also see his blue eyes and while Graham’s eyes are also blue, Killian Jones eyes are a blue all unto themselves. Emma can see why women find him attractive. “In my heart I feel I’m right about you and I’m going to prove it. You got me fired, Swan. That’s not something I take lightly. You chew men up and spit them out. You’re going to do to this poor wanker what you did to your other three grooms. Run.” His eyes are practically black now. Emma can tell he’s getting off on this ‘dressing down’ of her, but she keeps the smile pasted on her face because she can’t let him see that he’s getting to her, no matter how off his theory about her may be. “You are going to run again, and I’m not leaving here until you do.” Emma almost expects him to jab a finger into her chest, but instead, he backs off and gives her a grin as if he won that round.

“You know Mr. Jones, I’d love to stay and discuss my psyche or whatever it is you think is my motivation for being a multiple time runaway bride, but unlike you, I actually have a job, one I need to prepare for. Goodbye.” She turns and walks off, resisting the urge to look back at him. She won’t give him the satisfaction.

Tag List: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @mariakov81 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @xsajx  @qualitycoffeethings @snowbellewells @courtorderedcake @klynn-stormz @tiganasummertree @therooksshiningknight @captainswanmoviemarathon

[jeonqukie]

OUT OF LOVE / 04.

SYNOPSIS / During a house warming get together with your closest friends, an unexpected guest shows up and attempts to catch your best friend’s attention. Too bad he’s too focused on making sure you’re not pushing your limits.

FEATURING / Jeon Jungkook.

GENRES / Jungkook being the biggest gamer & best friend ever, lots of angst and secret feelings, lots of fluff especially from our soft bunny, and eventual smut.

WARNINGS / This part will contain alcohol consumption, graphic language, and mature themes. Warnings will be updates accordingly.

WORD COUNT / 5.6k

TABLE OF CONTENTS / To be redirected and get the latest on the story, click on the table of contents.

NOTES / Hi all! I hope everyone is doing well especially the current state of the world right now. First, I want to apologize for the delay on any updates whatsoever. I’m currently stuck in a rut and have been doing anything I can to get the spark again or the same excitement again when I write. It honestly comes spontaneously and occurs for a brief period of time which is why even short drabbles like these take so long for me to write. Second, this new norm has been a difficult adjustment for me, so I’m trying my best to get accustomed to this. I hope everyone is doing well. But I’m so glad with how this part has turned out, imo. This was nothing like I imagined to begin with but I’m very happy with the end product bc it gives me something to work with. The next part may be the final part but it will be much longer maybe? Anyway, feedback is very much appreciated. Thank you so much for reading through this mess, but I really do appreciate anyone who actually takes their time and reads through my work. Stay safe and healthy. ( ◡‿◡ *)

© All rights reserved to jeonqukie. All or portions of my work may not be reproduced, distributed, modified, or used in any way whatsoever without my permission.

The housewarming party was just a suggestion; that’s all it was —  a simple, silly joke that was meant to go over Jungkook’s head. But he didn’t think that it was such a bad idea at all.

“But we’ve literally moved in like, a month and a half ago. Kookie, you’ve been living here for nearly 2 years, you just moved to a new unit.” You reasoned with him. “I think it’s just an excuse to throw a party.”

The both of you sat in the living room couch with the bowl of popcorn placed on your stomach. It was one of the rare occasions that you and Jungkook had coinciding free time together. Normally, the both of you would decide on a movie together, but Jungkook had been invested in a brand new video game. So he had hooked up his gaming console to the living room television while he decided to go through the first play through while you listened to him explain what he was doing.

“I mean, it’d be cool! Plus, I heard from Mr. Lee from 3B that the manager would be out of town next weekend, so why not throw a little get together?” The timing of it all seemed to be perfect. Perhaps it is meant to be. “Why not have a couple of your friends come over and a couple of my friends come over as well? Namjoon-hyung has been dying for a hook-up maybe one of your friends would be —“ 

“I am not setting up my friends with one of your friends.” You scoffed at his suggestion and threw a handful of popcorn right at his direction which ensues a fit of chortles to escape his mouth. 

“I was just fucking around, YN. But I’m serious about the house warming. It’ll be so cool!” Jungkook encourages the idea and he pauses his game to shoot his doe eyes straight at you. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 

The “get together" was in full swing; the most popular music playing in the background of your apartment came from Jungkook’s bluetooth speakers while you began refilling the dip bowls for the tortilla chips you have laid out for your guests. Meanwhile, one of Jungkook’s good friends, Taehyung and Jimin offered to stop by the closest liquor store to purchase some more bottles of beers before their arrival at your new home.

As you filled up each bowl with different dips, your can feel the heat of your cheeks burning your skin and your eyes constantly moving from one object to another — unable to keep a steady vision. It wasn’t until you feel someone grab your arm to spin you around only to be greeted with your friends with another shot filled with cheap tequila.

“Alright, last shot, YN, then we’re moving onto margaritas.” Jisoo offered you the mini clear cup before she offers you a red cup filled with what seemed like to be Sprite.

“I’m a pro at this now. I don’t need a chaser.” Right behind Jisoo was Rose welcoming a new guest and you take the shot before you swallowing the warm liquor coating your throat.

With pinched eyes, you feel a rush of energy shoot through your body before you are greeted with a new face. “YN, this is Lisa! Lisa, this is YN.” The name sounded so familiar to you yet you couldn’t quite point out where you had once heard it from. 

“Oh my god, it’s so nice to finally meet you.” The exaggerated niceties in your words can be heard from a mile away and Jungkook, from across the room, kept a close eye on you. He noticed you clutched onto the shot glass so tightly on your palm while he nursed his beer bottle.

As he had spotted your dazed eyes, his mind has suddenly focused on your demeanor; no longer offering his attention to the conversation his older friends are having with each other. It had been your fifth shot that evening. You were very good at pacing yourself… after some stern discipline from Jungkook himself. You knew that every fifteen minutes you would feel the effects of the shot you just drank.

A lazy smile etches onto your face as you drunkenly offer an unfamiliar face a hug. Jungkook knows your circle of friends. You had a close knit of them and he absolutely appreciated the fact that you would introduce you to them. Obviously, you had mutual friends considering you two met in an elective course.

He remembered that silly music course you two picked out for a stupid requirement. He remembered the first time he saw you. It took him by surprise but you took the seat right next to him and you had already pulled out your notebook, ready to taken notes on the first day. From then on that desk is where you sat and he would inevitably find a way to sit right next to you.

“Wait, you haven’t had a drink yet, have you?” The words came out so muffled to Jungkook when he realizes that Taehyung and Jimin had burst right through the door with their recently purchased beers. The boisterous entrance of his two closest friends distracted him for a moments time before you turned your back towards him and he catches glimpse of Rose and Jisoo pouring more shots into glasses.

“You’re giving me no attention at all, Jungkookie.” Hoseok, an older friend of Jungkook, nudges at him to earn it back. But his eyes remain fixated on your grinning face and he watches the rim of the shot glass touch the edge of your mouth. Your eyes squint at the taste of the new liquor and the burn that shoots a new moment of energy in your system.

“That’s because he’s watching over his girl right now.” The sounds of beers being popped open attracts his ears and the unexpected voice of his hyungs.

All of Jungkook’s posse shoots a quick glance over at the group of girls huddled in the kitchen counter doing multiple shots. His anxiety is creeping up to him because he knows how clumsy you can get when you were not sober. “Relax, Guk.” Namjoon attempts to comfort him. “You’re here and her friends are here. Plus, she’s home, anyway. Isn’t this the best time for her to get shit faced?”

Jungkook knew that Namjoon was right. If you did want to test the limits with your alcohol consumption, this would be the perfect time to do so. You weren’t in another person’s house or in a bar; you were in the comfort of your own home. If you did get hurt, you were surrounded by your friends and Jungkook would be nearby to assist you.

The thought brought some relief to Jungkook. Jimin offers Jungkook a cold bottle of beer where he takes a long swig out of it, only to feel the same anxiety when he witnesses you taking another shot for the third time in a row.

Hiccuped slurs can be heard as you sat on the kitchen counter along with a bunch of your friends who have been mixing cocktails for the rest of the group. Meanwhile, an aftermath of your drunken stupor involved shoveling chips and guacamole into your mouth while you would take slow sips of Rose’s sickeningly sweet margarita mix. The tequila was sneaky; though the beverage was primarily juice and she’d add soda for the sweetness, but the liquor would sneak back to you.

“Hey Rose, who’s that Jungkook guy you were talking about?” Lisa nudged as her eyes wandered around the kitchen and then the living room where a group of guys had been too busy conversing and guzzling beers of their own.

“Jungkookie’s my roommate.” A crooked and lazy grin appears right across your flushed face as your eyes met over with Jungkook who stood at the corner where his phone had been charging. The music changed in the background and you figured it was Jungkook who had decided to switch up the ambience.

Just an hour ago, everyone had been laughing their assess off with shared stories. Perhaps it was the liquor speaking. Nevertheless, everyone had been having a good time. But the excess consumption of mixed alcohol had the atmosphere winding down. The haze of exhaustion is beginning to settle amongst everyone in the room and you are leaning on your cupboards for support as you listened on quietly to your friends’ conversation.

Lisa sized him up from head to toe and you conceal your reaction from the rest of the world as you continue drinking your margarita mix to drown out what you’re able to hear. “He’s cute.”

“Oh, c’mon, Lisa — he’s more than just cute. He’s fucking hot.”

More chips, more guac.

“Plus, from what YN tells us, he’s peak boyfriend material.” Jisoo swoons silently in order to hide the conversation from the group of guys at the other side of the room.

More margarita.

“Is he now?” Lisa’s perfectly sculpted brows shoot up in interest and you are chewing on your cheek as you are soon running out of margarita to swallow down. A red plastic cup appears in front of Jisoo’s face and she narrows her eyes at you at your simple request.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?” With a simple shake of your head, you nudge the cup further to her and she shrugs off any doubt because surely you could handle the alcohol. You just needed something to drown out the conversation that was being held at that moment, so what harm would another glass of margarita do? 

“Do another shot with me.” Lisa encourages to Rose who shakes her head in response. “Liquid courage to ask Jungkook out. I thought you’d given him my number, YN.”

“Must’ve slipped my mind.” You mumble incoherently before Jisoo is wary of your behavior. You take a large gulp from the plastic red cup and squint at the sweetness of it all. You can’t help but shoot your eyes over to Jungkook where an eruption of boisterous laughter can be heard from across the room.

“Well, no one’s really stopping you.” With Rose’s encouragement, you are endlessly swallowing your refreshed drink only to discover you had continuously drank the entire thing in one go at the sight of the bottom of the cup.

“More, please.” You sighed.

The little get together came to an abrupt end when Hoseok began dozing off in the middle of one of Namjoon’s stories. Everyone collectively agreed to clean as much as they can, but with everyone being heavily intoxicated, it took nearly an hour to properly organize everything. You and Jungkook had agreed to let Hoseok and Yoongi to crash on your sectional couch since Yoongi came with Hoseok that evening.

Taehyung, a lightweight, was one of the few people who was the only one tipsy that evening and had managed to sober up within an hour and a half and had driven the rest of the gang home. As always, you were already calling an Uber for your friends who seemed to be slowly dozing off as they moved lethargically around the kitchen.

Jungkook’s gentlemanly behavior had been exhibited when he had gathered three bottles of water; one for each of your friend as they awaited for the arrival of the Uber driver you had ordered for them.

“Thank you, Kookie.” Three of your friends had collectively expressed their gratitude for your roommate in a sickeningly sweet manner.

Sickeningly sweet.

“YN can’t even walk, so I’ll accompany you three downstairs, if you’re okay with that.” He offers and Lisa is already nodding her head instantaneously.

“Aw, Jungkookie, such a sweetheart.”

Disgustingly sweet.

And, suddenly, there is a revolting heat seizing in your throat and your were thankful you possessed one brain cell that evening that ordered your body to move. You sprinted nearly tripping on your way to the bathroom where you fell on the tiled floors and propped the toilet up to regurgitate all of your stomach’s content into the porcelain bowl.

Tears began pooling your eyes and the awful taste of the margarita mix and tequila was all you had been focusing on. In the midst of coughing, someone’s digits came crawling to your neck as it gathered your thick mane away from your face. A soothing hand can be felt on your back where slow circles can be felt to ease the pain on your abdomen.

“What did I tell you about pacing yourself?” Jungkook’s rough voice can be heard to your left side and you continue spitting the grotesqueness that had been inside your stomach.

You grunted in response to his stern scolds and he is still caressing your back as a second wave of vomit come spilling out of your mouth. “I — I’m fine.” You croak out as he wipes the tears off of your cheek. “You should go and see if the girls need help —“

“I woke Yoongi-hyung up so he can accompany them.” His answer is quick and brief as he continues to brush away stray hairs off of your face. “You done?”

When the nausea subsides, you nod your head and he instantly stands from where he had been kneeling. He flushes the toilet and searches the sink for your toothbrush.

“Take this first.” He sees a small clear glass with filled tap water and a cap full of mouth wash. Closing the lid of the toilet bowl and sitting on it, you are sloshing the minty liquid in your mouth before you spitting the rest out.

He offers you your toothbrush with a pea sized toothpaste already placed at the center of it. “Brush your teeth.” He demands and you nod silently.

Unsure of what he had been up to, you can’t help but mentally slap yourself in the face for drinking so heavily. The past minute had gone by so quickly yet it had felt like a million years. When you completed brushing your teeth, Jungkook comes back with your pajamas. “Here; you can change into this and I’m taking you bed.”

“But I want to help clean up —“

“We can clean up tomorrow. You’re too fucked up to stand up right now.” He sighs seeing that you were trying your best to hold yourself up. The sound of someone reentering your front door notifies you and Jungkook that it was most likely who had returned to his peaceful slumber. 

“Change now, please.”

Once Jungkook exits the bathroom and gives you the privacy you need to change into cleaner and comfortable clothes, you shut the door in front of you to strip off the rough layers of your sweater and jeans into your linen pajamas. You’ve decided to wash your face as well to give you some sort of cleanliness to your skin.

“Yeah, thank god they’re cooperative when they’re drunk — giggly but cooperative.” Muffled grumbles came from outside but Yoongi’s voice had been drowned out by the sound of water sloshing down the drain. “Oh, yeah, I think one of YN’s friends thought I was you, so she gave me this.” You turn the knobs of the water off and listen more closely to Jungkook’s conversation with Yoongi.

Little did you know that it had been Lisa’s phone number with a brief message to give her a call some time in the near future. But Jungkook takes the small note only to crumple it up and throw it to the side. When you’ve successfully cleansed your face, you’ve pat your face dry, trying to conceal your thoughts, and hoping you won’t say anything that would reveal your inner most feelings for Jungkook.

You have feelings for Jungkook.

“You can take my bed, hyung.” Jungkook offers. “I’m afraid YN’s going to feel sick again, so I’ll just sleep in her room tonight.” Yoongi grins mischievously at Jungkook and he nudges at him jokingly, earning an eye roll from Jungkook himself. “Don’t smile at me like that or I’m letting you sleep next to Hobi-hyung.” Yoongi pats Jungkook on his arm before he waltzes over to his bedroom where closes the door shut.

Footsteps approach the bedroom and you hear two knocks on the door where you open to reveal yourself in your pajamas, face completely bare and clean for Jungkook. Your exhausted eyes meet his and your pouty lips form a downward curve, obviously asking for forgiveness from Jungkook. “Sorry for drinking too much.” You grumble and he scoffs at your apology, but he can’t help but think of how cute you looked — tired and worn yet you had managed to win his heart over.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Jungkook merely suggests. His voice had been a little bit more delicate, so you step out of the bathroom as he takes your arm to guide your lethargic body over to where your bedroom resided on the other side of the apartment. You had tidied your room before you had your little get together with your friends and you are already thanking your sober self for doing so. At the sight of your bed, you immediately crawl underneath your duvet covers and savored the softness and the fresh scent of the linens.

“You know, Guk, I’m not that bad. I probably just ate too much, that’s why I threw up.”

“You know, I hate how stubborn you are, but I hate myself more for even letting you do this to me.” Jungkook sits at the foot of your bed and you’ve successfully tucked yourself in, cocking your head to the side as the words have finally sunk in.

“What’re you talking about?” The curiosity is evident in your eyes and he was melting at the way your bottom lip protruded over your upper lip; the obvious pout on your face exhibited his biggest weakness.

Oh, how he’d want to lean down and place the most delicate of kisses upon your lips.

The thought is tempting and, given the state of you, if he had done it, you wouldn’t even remember a single thing the occurred in your room that evening. But Jungkook was not that guy — not at all. He wasn’t the type of guy to take advantage of your vulnerable consciousness. He wasn’t the type of guy who went out seeking for temporary… encounters.

He is a hopeless romantic and he is hopelessly in love with you.

“It’s whatever. You’re too drunk to understand.” Jungkook scoffs and you stare at him for the longest time. Your hazed voice chanting just how much you realized just how beautiful he looked despite the shittiest lighting in your bedroom. The dazed look painted right across your visage disappears into a crooked smile before you giggle.

“I am drunk, huh?” The intonation of your voice tickled his ears and you scoot your body to the other side of the bed before lifting the sheets to over the spot you had originally occupied. “C’mon, I know you’re not leaving me alone any time soon, so you might as well get comfortable.”

The suggestion was tempting but you see the hesitance across his face before your lips did that… stupid pouting thing again and Jungkook rolls his eyes in defeat before he slips underneath the covers as an act of surrender. When you giddily turn your attention over to Jungkook who laid right beside you, he faces right towards your body and you face him as well.

“To be fair, I was impressed; four shots in half an hour and you did not throw up.” You smile proudly and a bit too lazily. Your eyes remain half lidded as the comforts of your bed envelope your aching body.

“You have got to give me some credit, Kookie. I’m not so much of a lightweight anymore.” You nuzzled your head into the pillow but as your eyes come to a close and you are met with darkness, your brain immediately drifts to an imagination of Jungkook’s soft chest underneath your cheek instead of the fluffy pillows. Perhaps you’d hear his loud heart beating against his chest and feel his steady breathing.

But this was close enough; the scent of his cologne and beer lingered a mere inches away from you and the softness of the pillow was enough to let your imagination run wild.

And Jungkook notices this.

He notices the way your eyes come fluttering close and the grin remained etched across your face. He didn’t want to disturb a you drifted off in your sleep, but he can hear the soft giggle coming out of your mouth. He can see your body relaxing and succumbing to the exhaustion before he begins moving a stray hair away from your face.

The pads of his thumb brushes against your nose and cheeks as his nails lightly tap your ear lobes to tuck the hairs off of your sleepy face. “You wanna know something funny?” Jungkook begins.

“Hm?” It’s all you can really respond to at this point. Your poor body is succumbing to the exhaustion of this evening’s events. Half of Jungkook urged for you to go straight to slumber — that way he’d get a good night’s sleep too. But another half of him desperately wanted to savor this moment; you laid so comfortably right next to him and there’s nothing in the world to worry about.

He wasn’t spending time with you as much lately. Your schedules never really clicked; he woke up too early to go to the gym on the weekdays and, by the time he was done working out, you were already on your way to your morning classes. But there was already breakfast ready for him to eat because you always saved some for him to eat before work. Even though Jungkook went to work later, he would still manage to get home first. He understood why you were staying out late though; being a full-time student and working on the side was not an easy task to do at hand.

So he would be relieved to see you come home because, to return the favor, he had dinner ready for you. Most of the time, you would scarf down your meals and go straight to doing your homework before you freshened up for bed. However, as exam season approached, you wouldn’t eat half of the time; it was a relentless cycle of sleep and study.

To have you him right in front of him with the most serene grins plastered on your face, though hammered, he savored every second of it. And, suddenly, his warm fingers are still caressing your cheek and you are relishing in the warmth of his palm against your skin. The soft hums of pleasure vibrating on your throat brought a leap to his heart and he can feel you nestling your face into his palm.

“Yoongi-hyung tells me that one of your friends gave him their number. The funny thing is they thought he was me.” Perhaps this wasn’t the perfect time to introduce a new subject, but he was quite curious as to how you would react. But there is a silence that filled the air and your steady breathing is all he can manage to decipher. When he hears the light snores coming from your small mouth, he chuckles endearingly.

When he things that you have gone to your tranquil dream land, he peels the duvet off of his body and the weight shifting causes you to stir but he manages to put it to a halt and you are breathing steadily again. When Jungkook reverses towards your door to take complete his slumber in the living room, he hears you call his name.

“Wait, where’d you go, Kookie?” You say so tiredly as you began searching the empty bed side and your eyes come fluttering open. “Can’t you stay? I liked it when you were playing with my hair.”

Jungkook couldn’t believe what he had been hearing. He keeps reminding himself that you were intoxicated and you won’t remember your own words the following morning. But, on the other hand, he is reminded of a saying Jimin always told him.

When a person is drunk, the most sober thoughts come spilling out of their mouths.

So was this your most sober thoughts? Did you actually enjoy his physical touch on you? Did it bring comfort to you? Because he would continue doing all night if he could, just to please you. 

“I’ll stay, don’t worry.” He hums and he wonders whether this is the correct thing to do.

Was he taking advantage of your vulnerability like this? Though his intentions were pure, he is reminding himself that you were clearly inebriated and the sooner you slept, the sooner he would be out of the room. He was drunk and his imagination is running wild as he lays right next to you once again. His tattooed hand reaches towards your face where he continues to caress your hair, twirling the soft ends around his large digits. His nails would comb right through them and, occasionally, massage your scalp.

It was a tantalizing experience. You were too lost in the feeling of his fingers tangling through your mane and the pads of his fingers digging upon your scalp which soothe tension around your head. You were melting at his touch and you can feel your consciousness surrender to the exhaustion overwhelming your physique at the very moment.

“Kookie?” A soft whisper leaves your lips.

Unaware of your actions, you are moving your body closer to the warmth of Jungkook’s body right across from you. One thing you are aware of is that your arm instinctively reached over to his waist where they slither on him; a sense of reassurance that he wouldn’t leave you whatsoever. He freezes for a moment and relaxes when he sees your nose scrunch in response. As he resumes to play with your hair, you are back to the hypnotic feeling of his fingers on your hair. Your arm relaxes onto his waist and, in response, Jungkook is growing accustomed to the weight of your arm on his body.

“Hm?” He hums in response.

And, suddenly, when the snores increase in volume, his fingers completely stop playing with you hair. Instead, they fall lower to your own waist where his arm lays where you are already fall asleep. At the feeling of someone’s touch on your waist, you instinctively pull yourself closer to the warmth of his body; your head pressing onto his chest and the scent of your lavender shampoo is so addictive when he nuzzles his nose upon your head.

“Don’t text her."

Your steady chest rises and lowers against his body and he can feel his heart beat… steady from its increased acceleration earlier. The sounds of your soft exhales on his chest was enough to knock him right off his feet because he cradles you close to him as Jungkook, too, drifts off in his own subconscious.

“I won’t.” 

The violent rays of the sun shone right across your face which forces you to flutter your eyes open. The duvet completely tangled around your legs and you had managed to kick them off as you slowly and cautiously lift your exhausted body off of the comforts of your bed. The dryness of your throat is alarming and you are searching for a water bottle by your nightstand, but the door swinging open has managed to catch your attention and you are met with a freshly showered Jungkook.

“Huh, I wasn’t expecting you to be up yet.” You had caught sight of his waist as he is tugging his shirt on him. His nearly dry hair is ruffled as he is reaches towards the bottle of the pain killers before he tosses you a water bottle. “Take two of them right now.”

The grumble that emitted from your mouth ensued an upwards stretch on his mouth as he examines you trying to process the events of last night, that is, if you can even remember a single thing. When you pop the cap open and attempt to spill out two pills into your mouth, your throat is desperate for the coolness of the water to satisfy your thirst.

Jungkook takes the empty space right next to you as you scratch the back of your head. He is much bigger than you thought as he towered over you, trying to remember anything from last night. “How’d you sleep last night?” The gloat was so evident in his voice and this was not something you wanted to hear first thing in the morning, so you found yourself laying back down only to shove the pillow to your face.

“I don’t want to hear it, Kookie! If I did something stupid, just say it! Say you told me so.” Your muffled whining can only be heard to Jungkook and he is already chuckling at your reaction. Most of the time when you are unable to handle your alcohol and he ends up having to take care of you, he happens to find a way to embarrass you the first thing in the morning.

“It wasn’t really that bad.” He begins and he waits for you to peek out of the pillow you had shoved out of your face. When he meets your eyes, there is a smug grin right across his handsome face. “You did throw up though.” You are shoving the pillow back into your face before he catches it before you can cover your shame. When you are exposed to him, you are pulling the pillow on his hands while one of his hands attempt to peel the cushion right off your face and the other pushing your arm away from it.

“I get it, Guk!” A fit of giggles begin erupting from your mouths at the idea of you just throwing up.

“I gotta give you props though, YN. You managed to run to the bathroom; 10 points for quick reflexes.” Your grip on the pillow softens and Jungkook’s strength overpowers yours so he completely rids of the pillow of your face and you are now fully facing him as he is practically towering over you.

“Well, I learned from the best, didn’t I?” The playful wink was enough for both his arms to cease their function. Both of his hands are on either side of your bed and you find it quite hard to believe how the both of you have found yourself in a very compromising situation. But you didn’t mind it at all and, quite frankly, Jungkook didn’t either.

Suddenly, the atmosphere changes as faint memories of last night’s conversation come replaying in Jungkook’s head. He wished the memory would come jogging back to you, but he knew better not to say much.

“Was there anything else that happened last night?” There was one thing you did remember; it was the primary reason for your choice to be completely shit-faced that evening. You couldn’t… live with the idea of Jungkook being remotely interested in one of your friends — it’s not that they were unlikeable. You love them and believe they’re great girls, but… their intentions were purely… physical and just the thought of it brought up an emotion you were unaware you would feel.

He simply shakes his head and Jungkook remains frozen as he stares into your eyes. “Well, Lisa did give me her number.” He announces and he witnesses the split second of sincerity in your reaction; the micro reaction of your eyes looking directly into his with such pain and the pout that threatened to etch downwards, but you had manage to force yourself to remain unfazed. “I threw it out though.”

And there it was.

There is a weakness in your grin but he witnesses your cheeks turn a light pink color and he is gnawing on the inside of his cheeks, desperate to steal a kiss. But he wasn’t that type of guy. “YN,” He starts and you are aware of the atmosphere changing. His tone changes and you are aware that he is serious and you can see that he is hesitant; you can see him contemplate his choice and you’re aware of the consequences. If he chooses to pursue anything, you two have crossed a line between friends where you both cannot reverse your actions. On the other hand, you two can continue this game of what ifs. “YN, I really want to kiss you.”

You swallowed hard at the word.

Kiss.

“Kiss?” You repeated.

“Yes, kiss; my lips on your lips.” The heat on your cheeks is rapidly increasing in temperature and it soon radiates to your lobes. “Is that okay with you?” When your eyes lower to his moist lips, you cock your head to the side before you offer a single nod. When you grant him permission, his hand moves a stray hair out of your face and his thumb caresses your cheek to feel the softness of your skin. You revel the sensation of his soft yet calloused skin on yours; you flutter your eyes closed as you smell the scent of minty toothpaste as he moves closer. The tip of his nose delicately hits yours and you are aware, now, that you were holding your breath. Your heart races so hard on your chest and you are afraid it could nearly break through it.

“Breathe, YN.” He laughs as he notices such gesture.

“Sorry, I’m… nervo —“ When you reply, he interrupts you midway to capture your bottom lip in between his mouth. You are returning the favor only to savor the taste of his mouth; so fresh — like air. His hand still cradles your face so closely to his and your mouths move in synchrony with each other.

Suddenly, you weren’t breathing again.

Not out of nervousness.

But because you two just couldn’t get enough of each other.

↪ Please stay tuned for the next part!

[mrs-evadne-cake]

Hey!! I love your fic. I was just wondering - and yes, i know it's unrealistic - if in an ideal, paradise world Stranger Things decided to go the stoncy route, how would you want them do do it? If you were in the writers' room how would you develop it in a convincing way that fits with the rest of the show? (I'm genuinely curious since you wrote them so well in IASL)

First, thank you so much! 

I mean, first and foremost I always want it to be a little bit of a mess since we’re dealing with a time and place where the word "polyamory" was not in circulation and there was no real poly community or overall awareness of polyamory as a way to be. They might be aware of free love in the ‘60s and the concept of swingers but mostly as far as they’re concerned they’re out here in ‘86 Indiana inventing the concept of a triad and it’s hard enough learning normal relationship skills as a teenager without adding unlearning socialized ideas about exclusivity and jealousy on top of that.

So let these idiots fuck it up a bunch, is what I’m saying. Bring on the return of Nancy ‘Say the Meanest Possible Thing to My Boyfriend(s)’ Wheeler.

How would I make it fit the show...man this would be easier if these three had shared a scene together for more than two minutes since S1. This is probably going to get long so more after the cut!

The show loves to trot out ‘shared trauma’ so in this perfect world they actually remember that it applies to Steve, too. So he’s dating around town but it’s not working out with anyone since it gets really, really awkward trying to explain to the girls he sleeps with why he shouts the name of an ice-cream shop during his nightmares without mentioning Russian spies ‘cause yeah, retail is hell but it’s a little excessive.

With Jonathan gone Nancy starts hanging around with Steve more often because she too remembers that he exists and went through all the same shit with them and that he ramming-speeded a Cadillac Eldorado into Billy Hargrove’s face to save her life, and her entire over-14 support system is gone. Steve thinks its a little unfair (and Robin thinks its a lot unfair) but he still cares about her so he goes along with it and Nancy is sort of surprised by how different he is from S1/Early S2 Steve.

Robin is like ‘Oh so you can lie on truth serum ‘cause you’re definitely still in love with her.’ which Steve vehemently denies. He’s just a good friend, buddy, pal. No romantic feelings at all.  

Jonathan is in Arizona or Illinois or friggin’ Derry, Maine knowing Joyce’s luck obviously very much missing Nancy. They talk on the phone and Nancy mentions that she’s been hanging out with Steve- now this could go either way the ‘Jonathan Byers is An Angel’ route where he’s okay with it right off the bat or the ‘Jonathan Byers remembers how he and Nancy got together the first time and tries to be okay with it because he is above petty normal people things like still being jealous of the ex-high school jock but can’t let it go and the two of them get into a fight. (where Nancy probably says the meanest possible thing to her boyfriend’ route. Obviously I choose the second one.

We get a scene of Jonathan getting worked up talking about it to Will who is like :/ bro, you are mentioning Steve A LOT in this conversation, aren’t you pissed at Nancy?  And Jonathan is taken aback because yeah, he is sort of obsessing about Steve.

Nancy also mentions the fight to Steve because Nancy is bad at this whole ‘don’t put your ex in awkward situations regarding your current relationship’ thing. Steve feels bad.

But before it gets resolved plot stuff kicks off and Joyce and Murray are off to ...sigh...fight evil Russians and free Hopper from a Soviet gulag. Jonathan and Will and El end up back in town however they do and we all wonder why they moved in the first place.

Jonathan, Nancy and Steve end up teamed up FINALLY (In this world Robin ends up on Team El, Max, and Kali because fuck everyone who hates her, Kali is here too and Max deserves her best friend, a big sister, and a tiny super-powered vigilante punk-rock aunt after what they did to her last season. They all kick Brenner’s ass like the last scene in Death Proof, the end) And at some point the boys end up separated from Nancy and try to make awkward conversation and Steve tries to assure him that he’s sorry and he would never get between him and Nancy and once he gets started apologizing he just sort of keeps going-  for all of High school, and if he ever ate his bagels in a really weird way, and for the fight and blaming him and Joyce for Will and calling him queer and the two have a real adult conversation where they bury the hatchet and move past high school.

And because I love the fanfic classics, that’s when a monster tries to eat them and Nancy saves them (bonus points if she uses the bat) and afterward they’re just like, ‘Fuck this town, why do we do this EVERY YEAR’  “I MOVED.’but they obviously realize that they make a really good team and actually enjoy each other’s company. The rest of their plot line has them growing increasingly comfortable with each other as they investigate whatever Nancy has dragged them along to investigate. Jonathan says he was wrong to be jealous and Nancy says of course he was because she’s always right because this is still Nancy motherfucking Wheeler and she will never not be that bitch. 

Monster stuff. The teams all come together. Hopper is back and the evil Russians defeated, yay. Robin is glad Steve is not dead and vice versa and Steve is like where did you pick up the hot punk-rock chick and did you get her number? And Robin is like long story and yes, why is Jonathan Byers looking at you with heart eyes? Which is information that overloads Steve’s brain and he’s almost glad when the series climax where they all fight a giant monster or a hole in the universe happens right then. 

No one dies, or fake dies, or maybe dies or maybe ends up in a Soviet gulag again.

Post- Climax wrap up where we actually see what everyone is doing that night directly after saving the world instead of flashing forward to months later and missing loads and loads of important character moments. After we’ go through everyone else Your Love By The Outfield starts playing because it’s 1986 now and I can FINALLY use it since it was released in ‘85. Steve goes home to (everyone say it with me) an empty house and he seems to debate with himself a little before calling Robin with a question. Nancy and Jonathan are together wherever the Byers’ and Hop are staying when the doorbell rings and it’s Steve who obviously immediately regrets this decision the minute they answer but they bring him inside and the music becomes diegetic as Jonathan puts on the record and closes the bedroom door behind them.

So apparently even in my perfect world where I’m in charge it sort of ends up mostly ramping up to stoncy than pure stoncy over one season. I’m pretty firmly of the opinion that the three of them just messing around in increasingly inclusive ways comes way before any actual poly negotiation or reflection or discussion on their respective sexuality and you can’t show that on PG-13 Netflix so we’re just crashing to black and credits.

 Thanks for the ask anon- sorry to make you wait, I knew this was going to be a monster of a post. And the fact that I just spent like, a hour and a half writing this has made me realize I might be in the mood to *actually* write again, so thanks! 

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Island hopping for gyroids

It's been busy these past few days, traveling from one island to another, staying undercover, and retrieving gyroids. Jamie's on a big gyroid mission so she recruited me and two old friends I haven't seen in forever. Tagging along with Jamie on her adventures are always fun, especially when it involves traveling and high stake escapades.

Joining us are our old friends from Wizpire - Alex and Holly. I haven't seen or spoken to them in years so it was nice catching up with them. Being with them again almost feels like old times, except everything's a lot different now.

Holly used to drop by Wizpire once in a while to donate paintings to the museum but since her garden in Camellia really took off, she's been super busy. Holly's latest project involves putting together rare hybrids to make even more rare flowers. She also teaches online classes on interior decor for the Happy Room Academy.

Last I heard from Holly was a couple years ago when she was living in Airy. She was a well known patron at the museum much like how she was in Wizpire. Holly was also seeing Sam, though they drifted apart about a year later. Sam's a good guy and a dedicated father, but I always felt that he and Holly were incompatible as a couple. They're both old fashioned, though I think Holly's more progressive while Sam's more traditional. There's also the fact that it shouldn't be Holly's job to coddle him when he puts his foot in his mouth, which I'm pretty sure was the source of their conflicts.

Right now Holly has no time for romance. In fact, after being with Sam, she realized that she has no interest in it at all. Holly always figured that she'd be into a romantic relationship when the right person comes along, which obviously turned out to be false. There's nothing wrong with having no desire for romance. From experience, coming to the realization that it's okay to be who you are is a freeing thing. It's also good to know that you're not broken or messed up just because you've never had a crush or experienced attraction towards someone.

I'm glad that Holly's out there living her best life. She made the decision to move to Wizpire on a whim and never looked back. Before that she had an unfulfilling corporate job that constantly stressed her out. Finally, she had enough and took the plunge. Now look where she is, donating to museums, growing a garden, being a seamstress, and teaching interior decor!

Alex has kinda dropped off the face of the earth since leaving Wizpire. She's always busy, hopping off from one thing to another - that's just the way she is, you can't keep her in one place for too long. From deep diving in the Cavernous Seas, racing down Rainbow Derby, skydiving at the Double Helix Nebula, to making treats at the Land of Sweets - Alex has done it all!

Right now she's been staying in Charma making scooters and bikes. After that she plans to move to Etienne Falls to dig up fossils and other hidden treasures. Alex runs a travel blog called Girl on the Run and at this point I think she's traveled to over a thousand different places. As much as I enjoy traveling, I don't think I can keep up with her lifestyle. I like trying out different things and going on adventures but I also need downtime where I can do nothing without feeling like I'm wasting time.

So we've been busy traveling to various islands to retrieve lost gyroids to take back to their respective homes. Some places are easier to access than others, and no two islands are alike so we have to be prepared for the challenges that lie ahead.

The first island we stopped by was Banana Bay, where we went digging at the beach. There, we found a couple gyroids, some old tech, and a couple of rusty keys. Since we needed the keys to get access to an old hideout where the other gyroids were hidden away, Jamie took them to a friend to get them cleaned up. While we waited for the keys we had coconut banana ice cream with bubble waffles, a local treat that was perfect after a long morning of digging in the sand. By the time we were done, they keys were ready to go.

As expected, the old shack was armed with security robots. No one really runs the place anymore except the machinery. The tech may be outdated by over twenty years but the alarm system's still up and running so a simple slip up can put the entire place into lockdown and get us into a heap of trouble.

I was given the task of unlocking doors and disabling cameras. I'm no hacker but the tech is pretty primitive - meaning easy to figure out. All you have to do is solve a bunch of puzzles to get into the system and most of them aren't even that hard. Meanwhile Alex came up with strategies to evade the robots while Jamie and Holly split up to retrieve the gyroids.

The robots were more of a nuisance than a challenge to get through. The blue ones with the giant red eye creep me out though. I made the mistake of looking into one of them and instantly regretted it when a giant four headed spider peeked through.

On day two we went to two islands that were side by side to each other - Teal and Turquoise. In contrast to the sunny beaches of Banana Bay, Teal Island was a snowy forest. In order to get in the caves we need stones to unlock the passageways and pickaxes to get through caved in areas.

We happened to arrive after a big blizzard so that complicated things a little. Light snowfalls made it a bit hard to see, which means we have to be extra careful. Wolf tigers roam the island and they're aggressive as fuck. Ice balls will do the trick when you need to subdue them, but you have to be quick because they can sneak up on you when least expected. Jamie and Alex have dealt with their share of wolf tigers so Holly and I were well covered. Those creatures are scary fast and sneaky.

Walking into the caves was kinda like heading towards a death trap. Along with the wolf tigers, we also have to worry about falling rocks, scorpion bats, and mega tarantulas. While preparing for the mission Holly made us gloves and masks so we won't hurt ourselves with the sharp rocks and dust. I had some of Em and Ludwig's light formula so we used those as flashlights.

As soon as we got what we needed, we headed to the neighboring island of Turquoise. Since we were a little traumatized by the caves, we hung out at the motel and went sightseeing. I found a cute stationery shop called Milk Clouds and bought some washi tapes, stickers, and a notebook. Alex bought a bunch of scented candles from Petrichor Gifts, Jamie treated herself with a lovely handmade silk dress, and Holly bought some handwoven fabric and starflower peach seeds.

Then off we headed to the long abandoned labs in the far end of the island. Jamie rented a plane so we can get there instead of having to go through a dense jungle. We had to land on top of a cliff and then parachute down in order to get to one of the entrances.

Although the lab is pretty much abandoned, it's home to many hostile creatures so we have to be careful if we encounter them. They could care less about the gyroids - and could've made our job a million times easier if they helped us out - but alas we have to that ourselves. Jamie managed to talk to a few of them beforehand and they pretty much just said as long as we stay out of their way then it's good. Do what we have to do and get out. Fine by us.

So that's what we did. There wasn't even that much to look for anyway, and some of the gyroids were in such a bad state that we didn't even bother. I mean it was expected that we can't save everything, still, it's sad that some things will remain lost forever.

Thankfully, the rest of the island is nothing like the hostile creatures residing in the lab. I think I was more traumatized by them than the cave. I try to see the good in everyone but you gotta listen when the warning bells go off in your head. I'm sure a few of them have some good inside them but it's the power hungry and abusive ones who run the place, so you can't let your guard down.

Day three - earlier today - was the final stretch. First, we swam to Crick Island - as in we scuba dived there. Planes can't access it so we have to travel underwater. The island has no residents but it's heavily guarded as it's full of stolen artifacts. It's run by a secret organization that Jamie's been trying to hunt down for years, only for them to elude her as soon as they were within her grasp.

The underwater passages are full of security robots that go off if we bump into them. They only move around the same place so they're easy to bypass. Problem is the water  makes it hard to move - unpredictable currents and such. Luckily we're all pretty strong swimmers, but those currents can get pretty rough. Getting thrown into a tangle of weeds is much better than accidentally hitting a robot, no matter how frustrating it is to get out of a sticky situation.

From there, we were able to infiltrate the pyramid lab. Alex was tasked with unlocking doors and disabling security, Jamie did the navigating as she knows the ins and outs of the place pretty well, I evaded the robots while Holly kept a lookout for guards. Since the lab is far from being abandoned or run down, we had to be stealthy and clever.

Then it's back to the underwater passages where we swam to two more secret labs - radium and ionic. I have no idea if the names mean something or they're just random. Had a few close encounters where a guard could've walked in on us but thankfully we managed to steer them away easily. I don't mean to judge but their snobby attitudes just scream pretentious assholes - not the kind of company I'd wanna get stuck with if caught.

Now we're back in Banana Bay, taking it easy before having to do inventory on what we found. It's been a lot of fun but I think that's enough high stakes adventure for me. We're leaving tomorrow evening so Jamie and Alex will go off their separate ways while Holly's gonna be staying at the camp for a couple days before heading back to Camellia.

Gonna treat myself with bubble waffles and coconut banana ice cream - we sure as hell deserve it!

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Oblivious Actions (snippet)

A teaser appears!

This is for a request I got for a Revali x Reader, and its the thing I posted the “no context” memes about. This is just like, a third or maybe a fourth of the full thing. Any critiques or typos found are appreciated! Anyway, Enjoy :P

It was a perfect day to disobey your elders.

The sky was just waking, strokes of rose and honey painted the edges of the horizon. The wind was crisp, and playful, ruffling through his feathers as he flew. Lake Totori glistened below. Sunlight shone across a bright blue expanse, laced with only a few, white clouds. The plateaus surrounding the area were dotted with pine trees, their umber trunks rooted to the ground. The air was open and infinite, gliding through the sky and observing the tiny specks of nature below filled him with a sense of wonder. Revali flapped his little wings down towards the forest.

HA! See? I’m already an expert flyer! I can explore as much of the world as I want, without any adults. I’m not a kid anymore!

The Rito baby blush marks that painted his cheeks said otherwise.

Even though Rito under 10 years of age were heavily discouraged from venturing beyond the bridges, Revali had decided he was big enough to go where he wanted. Behind him, the towering spire of Rito Village continued to shrink. To his left, the jutting figure of a wooden horse head could be seen. Hylians are so weird, needing other animals in order to move around. The stable in the distance then drowned into an evergreen sea. Gliding closer to the earth, the view of the sky was now covered with dry pine needles and brittle branches. He focused his attention to what was under him, trying to find a safe place to land. The breeze cooled and quickened. Revali angled his wings downward, trying to move his body to land gracefully among the trees.

He would fail.

There was a small clearing in the middle of the grove, a dirt path that travelers would use to hike between Warbler’s Nest and Rito Stable. Supposedly, following the trail even further up would lead to the infamous Hebra Peaks, a mountain range that lay just outside the view from his house, full of secrets and sights that no one has ever explored. Being the child that he was, naivety clouded his judgement, as Revali had ignored the warnings given to him about monsters nestled in the woods. Revali was desperate to get out of the village as soon as he grew enough feathers for it. 

Trying to plan his descent, he positioned himself at an angle, moving his weight, ready to land. His feet shifted forward, ready to grip onto something solid, but the wind suddenly changed. It’s direction altered only slightly, but it was enough to catch him off guard. Flailing his wings, Revali tried to catch the current under his wings again, but it was no use, the current keeping him in the air was gone, and his baby wings weren’t big enough to flap a large gust of his own. A stray branch knocking into his side, the little Rito tumbled into the dirt. 

“Gaah!” he grunted, panic coursing through him.

Revali plunged through the trees, not unlike how a snowball tramples down a mountain slope, picking up debris as it rolls. Falling through the branches, his feathery features caught sticks, leaves, and pinecones, until he connected with the earth with a thud.

“...ow…” 

The impact caused dust to cloud around him. It got in his eyes and settled on the edges of his feathers. The dirt wasn’t the worst place to land, but it still hurt. His crash had broken a few branches, causing a couple of pinecones and leaves to break loose. One stray, falling leaf hovered through the air, delicately. Its flight was much more elegant, dancing in the wind. It landed gracefully on the tip of his beak, its cinnamon hue and crinkly features mocking him. Revali blew it off with a “hmph!”

Sitting in the dirt, Revali brushed off the dust and twigs on his tunic as best he could. It was one thing that he had snuck out of the house, but coming back all dirty wouldn’t do either. Mumbling to himself, he sat there, taking in the sights and sounds of the woods. A much better setting than sitting in the house all day. Then there was an abrupt shuffling in the bushes. 

Looking up, Revali searched for the source of the noise. Getting to his feet, he picked up a twig and held it in front of him like a sword. Was it the monsters everyone had warned him about? His heart quickened, his mind raced. The trees still swayed in the wind, and the birds and bugs chirped, but suddenly everything was looking a lot more ominous. Another rustle. He hastily faced his left side, where a single dark green bush greeted him. Do I move closer? Back away? Revali was frozen in place. Finally, he dared to whisper.

“W-who’s there?” he asked.

Instead of a cliché silence, his question was immediately answered with a loud scream from the bush.

“AHHHHH! IT’S TALKING!” the bush yelled.

Revali followed suit and screamed himself, as it was only natural to be scared of shrieking plants.

“AAHHHHHH!”

“AHHHHHHH?!”

This exchange of confused and fearful yelling went on for a few seconds. A few sparrows took off for the sky, startled by the noise. Then, silence took hold again, with only the wind brushing through the woods. The bush and Revali stared at each other for another eternity. Finally the bush spoke again.

“Why are you pretty?”

“AGH?! What?” the Rito took a step back, bewildered. “W-wha...what’re you talking about??”

Suddenly, a small face peeked out from the bush. Their eyes were wide, and curious, but their expression was still wary. “I said, why are you pretty? Monsters are supposed to be ugly.”

Revali tightened his grip around the twig. “I’m not! You’re the one hiding in a bush, so you’re the monster if anything. I’m a Rito!”

“A Rito?” a small, Hylian child stepped out of the bush. They were wearing a maroon tunic, along with stable gloves and boots. The collar of their shirt was lined with cotton. A loopy scarf, that was far too big for them, was wrapped around their shoulders, etched with the emblem of the Hylian Stable System. Their hair was messy, probably from hiding within the bush. Gripped in their hands was their own makeshift sword, a wooden spoon. They waved it in Revali's direction. “You’re way too tiny to be a Rito. The ones who visit the stables are always taller than my mom.”

“W-well, then maybe you’re mom’s short!” Revali sputtered out.

“Nuh-uh!”

“Ya-huh!’

He stomped his foot. “Obviously, I’m not a monster. I’m just of a… different height, because kids don’t leave the village, it's only the adults you see. So quit being dumb. I mean, I can talk can’t I?”

The Hylian crossed their arms, tapping the spoon against their elbow. They considered his argument… I guess a tiny monster couldn’t eat me in one bite anyhow. “Fine then. If you’re not a monster, then you should have a Rito-sounding name, right? So what is it?”

Revali held his beak in the air and turned his back, crossing his own wings in imitation. “Hmph! Well why should I tell you when you’re a complete stranger! I thought you were a monster too, you know.”

The Hylian squinted their eyes thinking. “Well… fine. Your name probably sucks anyway! Thanks for scaring me half to death, tiny Rito!”

With that, the child turned around and started marching back in the direction of the stables. They made an effort to pound their boots on the ground to make as much sound as possible. Revali was left with his beak hanging open. How dare they! They’re the one with a sucky name, whatever it is.

He ran behind them, trying to catch up. He fluttered his wings to shake off any other dirt and twigs. He matched their pace, and puffed out his feathers. “I’ll have you know that I have a supercool nickname! Nicknames are always cool, therefore my name doesn’t suck. So, Ha!”

The Hylian raised an eyebrow. “Well, what is it then? What’s your fancy name?”

“They call me…” he stopped and posed, both wings outstretched in front of them, “...the Supreme Master of the Sky!”

They Hylian clutched their stomach, laughing hysterically. “HA! There’s no way that’s true. I saw you crash through the trees earlier! Some master you are, that’s probably even dumber than whatever your real name is.”

Revali narrowed his eyes, “Nuh-uh!”

“Ya-huh.”

“Hmph! Well at least I have a cool nickname. I bet you don’t even have one!” 

“Nope. People just call me [Name], because my name is already great and I don't need dumb nicknames or titles.” They stuck out their tongue at him.

Revali made a dumb face in retaliation, before responding. “Fine, if you won't call me that, you can just stick with ‘Revali,’ and you better remember it!” 

[Name] shot him a look, then huffed. “Yeah. Sure.”

The two of them continued their walk through the woods. Revali trusted it was the route back to the stable. They talked and jeered, laughed and scowled at each other, their conversations about nothing in particular. At one point, the Rito attempted to show off by gliding through the air. It would end with another crash, and the Hylian child chuckling.

“It’s cause you still have a bunch of stuff tucked in your wings!” [Name] said with a sigh. Removing a pinecone and several bits of dried leaves, they cleaned up the rest of Revali’s wing. When taking out a twig, they accidentally took out a feather.

Revali yelped, “Ow! What was that for?”

“I’m so sorry! I was just trying to get rid of this.” [Name] chucked the twig over their shoulder. The feather they had taken out was mainly white, but faded into a deep, indigo color at the bottom. It was like a star had shot across the sky, and its streak had colored this single, delicate feather. [Name] brushed it against their fingers, and stared at it in awe. It’s so pretty.

“Pfft. I know that. Anything from me is great.” Revali’s feathers puffed up in pride.

Oh no! Did I say that out-loud?? “Uh...yeah.” [Name] mumbled. They suddenly became very interested in the condition of their boots, turning their head to the ground as the two of them walked. 

A silence fell between them. Then, 

“Can...can I keep this?” 

Revali cast them a glance. “Uh...sure, why not. Not like I need it anymore. I’ll have plenty next time I molt.”

[Name] looked up, eyes wide. “Really?! Are you sure? This doesn’t, like, curse me or anything right?”

He scoffed. “No, of course not. It’s just a feather. I’ve seen adults trade them all the time. It’s fine. Whatever...”

The large horse head was now in front of them. The trees were more dispersed, and piles of lumber scattered the ground. The muted colors that decorated the stable billowed in the wind, the breeze blowing loose cloth and banners across the sky. To the left were the wooden bridges. They led up to a towering spire, the familiar shape of Rito Village casting over the two of them. The two of them stopped by the back side of the stable. [Name] forced themself to plaster on a grin.

“Well, guess I’ll see you never!” they jeered.

“Ha! If I’m lucky, I’ll never see you or your wooden spoon again!” Revali stuck his tongue out at them. 

After staring at each other for another eternity, [Name] finally turned around and ran back towards the entrance to the stable. Revali then began his walk back over the wooden bridges.

The next day, Revali would be punished for sneaking out of the village. His grounding would include having to do extra chores, specifically by having to help around Rito Stable for the rest of the month, much to [Name]’s surprise. Neither of them minded.

- - - - - 

Years Later…

- - - - - 

The Champions had arrived. 

AAAANDD That's where that ends. Mwahahaha that’s right. I’m cutting it off right there. Take that nerds. Oh what’s that? You want more? You want to understand the no context memes? You want more Revali? And the Champions? More cute stuff? More dumb stuff? Well you’re going to have to wait.  So here’s a cliff for you to hang on

------------------------------------------------ [insert you hanging, here]

---------------------------------

-------------------------------

-----------------------------

--------------------------

----------------------------

-------------------------------

-----------------------------

--------------------------

----------------------------

-------------------------------

-----------------------------

--------------------------

[i-growl-growl-growl]

heyy~ love your post ! but i was wondering if you could do a yandere!nct (all units) but if that’s to much, then just yandere!wayv of when they first see their s/o?? not necessarily meeting them buh just seeing them for the first time? thank you ❤️

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I intend to have the other member’s reactions to this finished sometime soon. I already have a few of the other NCT member’s reactions to this finished but I wouldn't have the entire reaction complete by tonight and I promised to have a reaction up today so hopefully this will do for now.

~Savie

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kun: Kun had always looked forward to Fridays. Fridays were his trekking days, the day of the week when he could be out in nature with hardly a single other person in sight, except for a few hikers that occasionally went trekking through his property without realizing it was private property. He didn’t pay much mind to those that he passed by since they never seemed to harm any of his property so he let it pass and continued on with his journey until he’d grow tired and decide to head home. This day was different though. As he was trekking through one of the less familiar paths of his property (for other trekkers), he came upon a bunch of campers who seemed to have had one too many to drink, or just didn’t care for their obnoxiously loud and destructive nature (or both). He stopped only a few feet from their camping sight and looked at it with a growing fury in his system as he saw the large piles of smashed bottles and crushed beer cans littering the grounds. What infuriated him most however, was the sight of several trees that he had planted having been cut down to feed the campers poorly built fire pit.

Just as he was about to kick at one of the tent doors, he heard a zipper being unzipped and saw as a head poked through an opening to the smallest tent. That’s when he first saw you. At first, he wasn’t impressed (partially because he was pissed off at what you and your friends had done to his property) but as your friends followed pursuit and came out of their tents, the sight of you seemed to be the only one he could stand looking at since you were the only one who didn’t seem completely shitfaced.

When you and your group of friends noticed him, he immediately spoke up. He made all of you well-aware that you had trespassed and destroyed private property, which could end with all of you going to jail if he chose to report it.

All of your friends were ready to throw down in order to ensure that they wouldn’t get in trouble (which made no sense since that only helped his case) but you staid calm and only apologized continuously. Since he quickly found out that none of your friends were going to be mature about this, he  had you send them away to pack up their things while he could talk to you to figure out how he’d be paid compensation. When he learned that you couldn’t pay since you were all runaways, he quickly came up with a plan that make up for the destruction of his property. He offered that you’d stay with him and help him replant more trees but your friends would have to leave otherwise he’d report all of you to the authorities. Since you didn’t want to be reported, you agreed to his deal, sealing your fate to being with your future captor, yandere Kun.

“If you think you and your friends can get away with destroying my property without compensation then you’re all dead wrong. You’ve trespassed through my property which, that in itself, is punishable by law. I have a deal for you, how about you stay with me and help me clean up the mess that your group has made. If you agree to this I’ll let your friends go without reporting them to the police. How does that sound?”

Ten: Ten was a well known figure within the red light district of the city by the time you came across it. He had probably gone a night with every prostitute at least twice, been in each adult theater at least 100 times and had visited the strip clubs well over that amount before that fateful night when he’d lay his eyes on you and be unable to look away.

He could tell that you were clearly lost as you attempted to find your way out without having to look up from the ground since you clearly weren’t interested in any of the naked forms that displayed themselves like mannequins in the front windows of each shop. Since he knew his way around this part of the city far better than anyone else, he knew that he’d be perfect for the task of helping you get to your desired location so long as he was paid for his services (maybe he’d be lucky enough to come back with a new number added to his phone or, better yet, perhaps he could land a night with you.)

“You seem a little lost darlin’. Perhaps I could be of some assistance. You wanna get out of here don’t you? Well, I’ll let you know that I know this district like the back of my own hand. I can get you out of here but it’ll be for a small price. Perhaps a your phone number and a date could suffice? Waddya say to that? You couldn’t possibly get a better offer than that. It’s certainly better than what those prostitutes would offer you if you were to ask any of them for help.”

WinWin: WinWin was three hours into his shift at the local cat cafe and he was busy stacking supplies in the supplies office when he heard the bells dinging, announcing that a customer had arrived. He quickly dusted himself off and headed to the register, ready to take the customer’s order. What he saw when he got to the register was the most gorgeous person he had ever seen! He looked at you and nearly stuttered over his greeting as he welcomed you to the cafe and asked you which option you’d want. Would you want the 20 minute option which only allowed you to pet the cats unless you paid extra for a drink? Would you want the 60 min option that includes one drink? or would you take the 90 minute option with unlimited drinks?

He so badly hoped that you’d take the 90 minutes so that he could be with you longer. WinWin was instantly infatuated with you and wouldn’t mind taking any of your orders or helping you figure out how to get the special cat treats from the “cat-treat ‘gumball’ machine”.

When you did chose the 90 minute option WinWin nearly lost his composer to stay calm, he wanted to cheer from happiness so badly, but he managed to keep calm and gave you that cute and beautiful smile of his as he rang-up your order and asked what you’d like for your first beverage.

As time went by and WinWin got to know what your favorite beverage was (which he’d obviously remember for the next encounter that you two would have with each other.) He also got to enjoy watching you laugh and smile as the cats surrounded you and fought for your attention. He simply couldn’t keep his eyes off of you while you spent time in his cafe, he knew that this was love at first sight for him and he didn’t want these 90 minutes to end.

WinWin knew that he’d do whatever he could to make sure that you’d come back to the cafe and soon because he’d lose his mind over his love for you once your time is up and he wouldn’t be happy like this again until he sees you again.

He needs this happiness like he needs air to breathe, He needs you like he needs a heart to beat in his chest in order to live.

Lucas: Lucas was still getting over the loss of his previous darling when he locked his sights on you. A month previous, his darling had succumb to some fatal injuries that they had come to acquire due to a bit of an extensive amount of unfortunate events that had fallen upon them (*cough*Lucas’punishmentsfortryingtoescape *cough*) 

He was scoping the city, for nothing in particular, when his enhanced eyesight caught you walking on your way to work. Love at first sight couldn’t even begin to describe what Lucas felt for you as he barely managed to keep his binoculars from falling out of his hands due to the pure shock he received from catching sight of your beauty. He hoped that you didn’t work far from where he was currently positioned because he wouldn’t be able to follow you otherwise since he had chosen to perch himself upon the rooftop of a rather small, but still sizable, skyscraper that day. Luck seemed to be on his side because you entered the building across the street from ‘his’ skyscraper and checked into work as a clerk for the front desk.

Lucas would watch you for the entire day until he could no longer follow you with his binoculars as you walked away, assumingly heading back home, after you clocked-out from work. Once he put down his binoculars, he pulled out his phone and took a picture of your workplace to remind him to do some research on the building and figure out if he could find out who you were.

XiaoJun: XiaoJun had been walking home one night when he heard a scream coming from an alleyway just at the end of the block. Usually he wouldn’t delve into looking into such incidences that happen in this part of the city but something about the cry for help drew him to check and see what was going on.

When he reached the alleyway he saw a group of guys pinning someone to the ground and tearing at their clothes. XiaoJun only stopped to watch for a moment before he would've walked off but, just as he was about to leave, he saw the pinned down person get one of their hands free and jab one of the men in the eye with their fingers before managing to punch another one of the men. That was all that the person managed to do before they were being pinned down again, but XiaoJun admired their fighting spirit and he remember the cry for help that drew him to this alleyway in the first place. It must’ve been yours.

XiaoJun approached the gang of men without any fear since he was a feared figure in these parts. His booming voice had all of them looking in his direction, one of them shining a light in his face to identify him. All of them had been prepared to tell whoever it was that was interfering in their business to fuck off but, once they found out that it was no other than XiaoJun himself, their fighting spirits ghosted them and they all began to shake like scared dogs. Once he told them to leave or die, they all listened to his warning and scrambled out of there as fast as their legs could carry them.

XiaoJun waited until he could no longer hear their footsteps before turning around to approached you and help you up from the ground where you had just been attacked. The light that one of the men had previously shined in his face had been dropped and now shined on yours. When his eyes met yours and he saw the beauty that beheld you, he instantly knew what had led the men to attempt what they had. He himself debated just taking their place, you were that beautiful to him. XiaoJun was able to hold himself back however and helped your shaking figure stand up. He didn’t intend to let you go though, he had already decided that you were too beautiful for this world to behold. He wanted you all to himself and that’s exactly what he’d get.

“Here lets get you out of here. Let me take you to my house and get you a new pair of clothes, we can’t have you walking all around the city looking like that. Come with me, you’re safe now.”

Hendery: Hendery actually met you in a relatively simple, normal way. He had gone over to a friends house to celebrate his birthday with him which ended up being where he met you. You were also a friend of his friend and had been invited to come and enjoy a night of watching movies, playing games and eating endless amounts of pizza, ice cream, chicken wings, and cake and washing it down with a vast variety of sodas. As the party went on it turned out to become more like a slightly less slutty, and boozy, version of a college party. During a game of Truth or dare, he listened as his friends dared you to tell everyone who you thought was the most handsome out of the guys in the room. He could see your face turning a bright shade of red as you avoided eye contact when you shyly said his name. He was ecstatic to hear this because he had grown some feelings for you as the night had gone on from the very moment he saw you entire your friend’s house, but he’d never admit that in front of everyone.

Since that moment, Hendery had hoped that there would be a chance to ‘steal you away’ and get to know you better (literally and figuratively.) Later that night he sort of got his wish after everyone dragged both of you into playing a game of spin the bottle. Everyone knew the rules, if the bottle landed on a couple three times then they’ve have to play seven minutes in heaven (that’s the reason why neither of you had wanted to play.) Fortunately & unfortunately, that’s exactly what ended up happening to the two of you and you couldn’t escape from being locked in a dark closet with the very guy that you had admitted to thinking was most handsome and he ended up being locked in the closet with the person that he had grown to have feelings for despite not knowing them at all.

Let’s just say that Hendery took the chance that he had been given and ended up declaring that you were his, which he meant seriously, as soon as he finished kissing you just before the doors to the closet opened and everyone bombarded you two with questions about what had happened during the seven minutes.

YangYang: YangYang met you when you had been called in to be a backup model for a photo-shoot that he was doing for Louis Vuitton. What was so mesmerizing about you was that you were so out of place compared to everyone else. For starters, he could tell from a single glance that you were an amateur model which wasn’t something he would’ve expected from the casting directors of such a big company. Another thing about you that caught his eyes was that, despite your obvious lack in practice and looks (as compared to the rest of the models, who to him looked more like aliens than anything else if he was to be quite honest) you didn’t let anything get to you. You walked up to the set with an air of confidence that drew him in immediately.

Throughout the duration of the photo-shoot, you continued to catch his attention. At one point the other back of models were all fighting because one of them had stepped on another model’s hair which caused them to hit another model in the crotch. You however, staid out of the fight and continued to pose as if nothing had happened until the cameramen directed everyone leave the set so that tensions could die down.

During the break, YangYang desperately wanted to introduce himself to you but, due to his mangers obsession with making sure that YangYang looked flawless at all times, he got caught up with having stylists fixing his hair and makeup, fortunately for him though, he could watch you from a distance as this went on.

At the end of the day, YangYang was unsuccessful in meeting you but he was able to get information on you and your company from the staff, which he would obviously use to his advantage.

[lovelyparkers]

i don’t need you (3)

warnings: swearing duh wbk y/n is a trashmouth, fluff, ffh spoilers, mentions of gun shots

"peter! fucking help me!"

"i'm coming! hold on!" peter yelled through your communication system. he was currently swinging over to somewhere on the London Bridge. out of breath, weak, tired, bruised, cut up, and bleeding, but none of that would keep him from making sure you were okay. none of that.

beck currently had you in a chokehold, and you were too weak and restrained to use your powers. he wasn't doing anything to you though. but that could change when peter arrived. you couldn't fight back. you needed peter. both physically and emotionally. for the first time in awhile, you were scared. you needed someone to save you. it was usually the other way around. but sometimes the strongest ones end up needing the most saving.

"edith, give me eyes on peter," beck ordered.

"he should be here in about five seconds."

you counted, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,

and peter shot through the glass.

"peter!" you yelped. you knew something bad was gonna happen.

"y/n stay calm!"

peter turned to mysterio, "your lies are over beck."

"ah man, this certainly isn't ideal, but i have contingencies. edith?"

crash.

a drone went and shot peter.

you were right.

he tumbled and rolled like twenty five feet away from where beck had you. luckily peter got up quickly, coughing, but still no hesitation.

"just give me y/n," peter started.

beck tilted his head.

"and the glasses," peter finished.

"you mean these?" beck asked holding up the glasses and pointing to you, "come and get 'em."

and everything around disappeared. another one of mysterio's infamous illusions.

peter closed his eyes and breathed out. he was scared as fuck. but he had to focus. on you.

"c'mon peter tingle..."

and he leaped. he flew high and wide crashing and destroying every drone he came in contact with like it was ripping a piece of paper. then everything started to come back. you saw peter run at a drone.

"holy shit," you said under your breath.

beck tightened his grip on you and yelled "FIRE ALL THE DRONES NOW!"

the drones shot at peter. but peter hit back harder. maybe too hard. shots fired back towards you and beck, one hitting beck in the thigh and one hitting you in your right shoulder.

"ah FUCK!" you cursed. it hurt like a bitch. you've been shot before, but never in the shoulder. beck fell, releasing you. you could finally gain some strength back, though not much since you'd just been fucking shot. you used your left arm to find the bullet in your shoulder and used your powers to bring it out of you slowly. it almost hurt worse coming out.

meanwhile, beck was on the ground and peter was destroying another drone then his extra ass landed in his iconic spider pose.

peter ripped of his mask, limping to you, "y/n! y/n hang on. i've got you."

"i would hug you but this doesn't seem like the right time," you quickly said.

peter nodded and ripped his mask up more to make a sort of tourniquet to tie around your arm and shoulder area. you kept it situated.

"now go! run,y/n i'll find you!"

"beck!" peter bellowed is his cute angry voice, "you lied to me."

"i know," beck struggled to talk, "that's the most disappointing part. such a weakness."

beck held the edith glasses up to peter. but peter felt something.

"stark was right. you do deserve these."

and a gunshot quickly rang out. but peter was quicker. his right arm was extended on the real beck, gun in hand. peter's eyes were red, filled with tears, blood streaming down his face. his stomach was whirling, holy shit. he was worrying about you.

"you can't trick me anymore."

peter stole back his glasses.

"edith! turn off all the drones!"

"welcome back peter. should i execute all cancellation protocols?"

"yes! just do it!"

and all the godforsaken drones flew off to who knows where. beck was left to perish.

peter chuckled. relieved because you and him did this. together. saved the fucking world!

"y/n!"

————————

peter swung out of the structure, asking edith to find you. you were under a shaded, private, tree not to far from the bridge, happy found you and was tending to the gunshot wound. you were arguing with him over whether or not it was a good idea to pull the bullet out. it felt like old times with tony sort of.

seconds later peter landed down in front of you and happy startling the man. your eyes widened and suddenly you didn't care about having a hole in your shoulder, much to happy's dismay. you jumped up from your seat under the tree and ran to peter's outstretched arms. it was such a relief hugging him and seeing that he was okay, and vice versa. happy walked away to give you two some privacy, but not too much.

"i'm so fucking glad you're okay. i was scared for my life!"

"you? scared? where's y/n and what have you done with her?" peter laughed.

"shut up," you smirked, squeezing him tighter.

"ah, that hurts," you cried when peter squeezed back.

"sorry. i just need to make sure this is real."

"oh it's real."

you two pulled away from each other, smiling at each other like a bunch of idiots. who knew? two 'enemies' would team up.

"i can't believe we did it. and made it out alive," peter said.

"we? you did everything. i got caught in a choke hold! you're the real hero. this time," you smiled again.

"well, thanks. but hey you got to beck first! and didn't you kill that... what did you call it? that fire fucker?" peter laughed.

"yeah," you nodded your head, "but that wasn't even real."

peter shrugged, "but you know what is?"

"what?" you asked.

"this."

peter took a step toward you, placing one hand on you neck and the other on your waist, making sure to avoid your wound, and kissed you. peter never kissed anyone before. and neither had you. the second his lips touched yours, it was electricity. your bodies slowed, finally having what both of you needed. all this arguing and fighting over the years was leading up to this. this moment. this kiss. this kiss was what both of you needed. to realise your feelings for each other and release all that built up tension. you really needed each other.

and you kissed him back, moving your lips together like it was the easiest thing ever. it felt so right. it felt perfect. you placed your good hand on his chest, melting into the kiss, into him.

you were the first to pull back, needing some air. peter obviously wasn't ready for that as he continued to lean forward into your lips. you have him a quick smooch again then rested your forehead on his when he finally got the message.

"jeez," you panted, "i should've kissed you a long time ago."

"yeah," peter blushed. his cheeks pink as ever.

"i'm really sorry for everything. you're a great guy. and i...i really like you."

"don't apologise y/n. you know i'm sorry too. and duh i know you like me. we just made out!"

"shut up you idiot," you laughed.

"i like you too," peter whispered.

"good. let's do this."

"girlfriend, boyfriend?"

"hell yeah," you said.

"great," peter grinned, "here let's sit back down under the tree. i want you to be comfortable."

"how charming," you said as peter helped you sit down.

once you were settled down he sighed.

"wanna make out some more?" peter asked.

"fuck yeah."

the end.

this is the last part of 'i don't need you!' i hope you guys liked this mini series as much as i love writing it! but don't fret! i have another imagine in this series coming that was requested: from a backstory that popped up in part 2! so that will be published this weekend. i love u all! and if you have any requests pls let me know! ummm very motivated to write! <3 -juli

[dcnativegal]

Day 55 of Pandemic, & I’m sick

Monday, May 4, 2020. Day 55 of the global pandemic (declared by World Health Organization on March 11th.) We as a planet hit 3,500,000 cases today, and 250,000 deaths. There are many more than that, but the planet doesn’t have enough tests.  But then, there was this announcement:

So obviously we’re in good hands. [Sarcasm alert.]

 The entire planet has slowed down, such that seismologists can detect the quieting of the earth: less shuddering of industry, cars, construction. Check out the drop in electricity usage:

Here’s a bit of perspective from Instagram:

The Lesbians of Paisley have been fertile ground for viruses. Valerie is nearly recovered from the viral pneumonia she was diagnosed with on March 26 at the emergency room at Lake District Hospital. She’d begun to feel feverish and achy, with violent coughing on March 15th, 2 days after what turned into my last day in my office at the hospital’s primary care clinic, and a day and a half after we’d dined with our friends Toni, Al, Bonnie and Bruce in person, sans masks. We began 100% isolation from the outside world the minute she felt sick. She recounted the ER adventure to a friend thusly: We drove in and they have organized a system that resembles getting on a [military] base after 9-11. We sat in the pickup at the checkpoint until a somebody in protective attire had taken my temp and saturation levels and asked a bunch of questions. Then they slapped a red sticker on the dash, told us to park in the ER lot and "don't get out of the pickup." Five hours later I had donated blood and been CAT scanned. I had two pneumonia shots that were current and two flu shots, also current. They checked the blood against 14 different virus strains and came up blank. The chest showed white lungs and my saturation levels were iffy. So they used one of the tests they had been sent, gave me antibiotics (just in case) and sent me home. Took me three days to sleep off all that fun.”

Me and Griffey the poodle waited in the pickup for her. At every sound, he got up from the passenger’s seat and looked at the ER entrance where she’d disappeared. No Valerie? Back to sleep. I walked him 3 times.      Hope, her RN daughter, told us that her flow through the ER was great practice in maintaining distance and perfect hygienic process through the CT scan, taking blood, even pushing her food on a tray to her. Lake Health District Hospital is prepared, and still, technically speaking, zero cases in the county.

I was so anxious about her health, her ability to breathe, that I gave up all thought of working from home. I listened to her breathing and coughing, brought her tea, and finally, asked her to write out her last will and testament. She did, and put it away. I figured, her kids are wonderful and won’t fight about stuff but, better for her to express her wishes, even if the paper wouldn’t be legally binding.

Apparently, I get the FrankenDodge (the pickup which has hit one too many deer and who’s grill is sewn together by wire). I’ll take it but I’d much rather have her.

We waited 10 days for the nasal swab results. While we waited, she got better. Never had that cytokine storm, nor that respiratory crash. Storms and crashes; pretty apt words for the medical horror of end stage COVID-19. Once her test came back negative, despite the warning of her PCP who says that nasal swabs miss between 30 and 47% of positive cases, I was able to go to town on the 10th of April, get some software downloaded onto the computer so I could work from home, and hit Safeway while wearing a mask. I also dropped off one of Valerie’s homemade masks to a friend, along with some toilet paper illustrated with Trump’s kissy face. The moment of levity was greatly appreciated.

I started feeling lousy six days after my jaunt to Lakeview (April 16th). Cough and release of gook high up in my chest. Headache. No fever. Who knows if I have COVID-19. We listen to a British gentleman, Dr. Campbell, daily, as he reviews what’s going on globally, and he interviewed a woman who had exactly my illness course, before she moved on to fever and gastrointestinal symptoms. She never got tested. Too much hassle. Which is so ridiculous, criminal really, and in the USA, a direct result of American hubris and incompetence. Fine. Anyone with any symptoms of any illness is isolated until we have a vaccine and treatment, is my prediction. I’m still feeling shitty, though better. Started taking antibiotics just in case and in the hopes of recovering SOMEDAY.

 My son Jonah and his girlfriend June escaped just in time the terrible plight of New York’s COVID19 deluge of infections and hospitalizations. They’ve been in Baltimore at June’s mother’s beautiful home. He spent his 26th birthday in the basement because they were still in quarantine. See adorable picture, below. Now they’re allowed upstairs, enjoying the quiet. Apparently, writing and directing music videos is not an essential service during a pandemic, but he’s writing pitches and living off the most recent lucrative gig with Kesha, thank goodness.

One of the most moving things that is happening in the USA during this time is the 7pm clapping ritual for medical workers and first responders in New York City, in all the boroughs:

There’s a firefighter in DC who’s going to hospitals and nursing homes to play the bagpipe.

That’s where my daughter Clara lives, in DC, but right now she’s staying with a friend in Laurel, MD, since her group house dynamics are stressful and had a symptomatic guest at last report. She’s working from home to make sure the Latinx school children are getting the tutoring they need now more than ever. We worry about her husband Jose and his country, Guatemala, since there are COVID-19 cases down there, and refugees seeking asylum are being dumped there, with and without the virus. Over 700 cases in Guatemala as of today. We hope he will get to the USA this year. However, Trump referred to it as a shithole country, which doesn’t bode well.

My sister and her husband are well, thankfully. They work fulltime from home in the company of Pepper the cat and Darcy the chocolate lab. Yuuki, 25, stays there, too, mostly in their room; they are out of work and applying for unemployment. Kohji, age 28, works from home in DC and makes more money as a web designer than I ever will after 34 years as a social worker, but who’s counting. (I remember well the admonition of a field instructor back in 1987: don’t go into social work for Power, Pay or Prestige.) His girlfriend is probably out of work; she works for a nonprofit that plants trees in DC. Probably not essential work right this very minute. Makoto, 23, is out of quarantine and looking for something to do; he’ll be a senior at the University of Delaware this fall. As far as I hear on Facebook and email, the rest of the folks with whom I share DNA are well. So that’s good. I worry about my Aunt Mary Lee who is 87. But she says not to:  she’s fine and her ritzy retirement community in McLean, VA is on “lockdown.”

Psychologically, in the experience of quarantine and ‘social distancing’, there’s me, and then there are my clients.

My moods go up and down, but a little further down than usual. The terror that Valerie might die of COVID-19 has passed, but I figure I will always need therapy.  I have “Facebook messenger” video chats with my therapist, Darcy of Bend, every other week now, which helps. Having ‘Generalized Anxiety Disorder’ and a tendency toward major depression, I find therapy to be a corrective. A bimonthly tune up. Without it, I naturally veer toward negativity and neurosis, and a hypervigilance that served me well when I was a child, but is exhausting, overwrought and over-thought as an adult.

Psychologically, Valerie is always fine. Seriously. She was once told as a young woman by a therapist who’d tested her with the MMPI (the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory) that she was outrageously and puzzlingly normal. Now that she’s feeling mostly well again from the pneumonia, she’s been tearing up the joint, fixing the sump pump that apparently keeps this little house from drifting down main street on the wetlands it’s built on. Digging out the leaves from our irrigation ditch, chopping and clearing the wood from our front yard.

The BEFORE picture:

The AFTER Picture.

 And this happened one morning in March. Just a cattle drive past our front door.

Valerie’s planning a garden at her daughter’s place, which has a deer-proof fence and lots of sun up on the hill above us. A delivery of horse manure is scheduled, and the garden bed has been rototilled. Val’s granddaughter Jessica and her husband Alan are living up there now, working from home for their Portland-based gigs. They’re almost finished the 14-day quarantine since they moved down here. The new normal: anytime anyone leaves one locale for another, they disappear into strictest quarantine, not to leave their abode. Groceries are delivered to the doorstep. A recent day turned out to be Jess’ 25th birthday: I’d bought a canvas bag with a picture of a pug on it, like her dog Archie, and Valerie found something gluten free flour mix with fresh jam to give her. Birthday gatherings are suspect at the moment.

Here’s a lovely idea for quarantined birthday celebrations:

What a kind and generous offer.

Even in isolation, Val and I do socialize, on zoom. The one pictured below is church.

We ‘visit’ with our fellow parishioners from St. Luke’s on Sunday evenings. Then we say Compline together, from the Book of Common Prayer. My favorite prayer of all time is this one from that service.

Yes, shield the joyous. Because joy is fleeting.

Our writers’ group, Easy Writers, ‘meets’ on zoom every Monday now. I wrote this bit about my yarn for the prompt, ‘write something in your home that means a lot to you.’

I am doing a great deal of crochet and a little knitting.

Yarn is my comfort and my joy. It is the raw material I create blankets and scarves and hats with. My tools are hooks and needles made from wood and plastic and metal. My fingers are also my tools.

Some of the yarn is like cotton candy: spun mohair from a goat is said to have a ‘halo’ or ‘aura’ because of the gentle cloud of color you can see an inch or two away from the spun thread. Some yarn is like twine: you can see every string of ply. My favorite is merino wool and single ply. A unity of color that will not split. All for one and one for all, the fuzzy stuff is twisted and bound into a single string of strength…

My clients are stressed out. The pandemic adds a layer to the stress they were already experiencing. I listen and knit, from within the cocoon of the yarn room which my folks can see behind me.  One of my clients wanders about with her phone in her hand while I get slightly dizzy. I like this kind of counseling since I get a glimpse of my clients’ homes. Reminds me a little bit of being a geriatric care manager. You can tell a lot about a person from their home. From my home you can tell that I have a lot of yarn, and I work multiple projects at a time because there are piles of them alongside my recliner.  

One of the sad weights of being present for my clients is their level of estrangement for most if not all social connections, especially people with whom they share DNA. And every single one has what is called in the mental health world “complex PTSD” from multiple traumatic experiences.  I sit with them, on the phone or via video. I hope to model for them what Carl Rogers called ‘unconditional positive regard.’ I breathe deeply to release my own distress at their sadness. We explore one tiny step toward reducing their isolation, the sense of trust. All during a pandemic where other people could be carrying a potentially deadly virus.

It’s no wonder I’m pawing mohair out of screen for my own comfort.

Sometimes I email clients links or articles on how to keep their spirits up, or about good things that are happening instead of the dire predictions they’re listening to or watching. There is much to share that is hopeful.  I sent one to a client on creative ways to care for everyone and she shot back:

“I believe this is Liberal rhetoric. 

Esp the paragraph below:

 This current emergency provides the possibility for a new emergence—the birthing of a truly civil civilization dedicated to the well-being of all people and the living Earth. “

Oh well. We can’t have a truly civil civilization dedicated to the well-being of all people, now can we?

Sigh.

 Brilliant writing is being penned right now, since the entire planet’s human inhabitants are barely one degree of separation away from this virus, which is apparently ‘barely alive’ and therefore hard to kill, as it spreads onward to make millions miserable and hundreds of thousands die.

I’m saving articles from The Atlantic, The NY Times, and the Washington Post, and following a historian named Heather Cox Richardson who writes a daily blog called Letters from an American. In a recent post she writes:

“The big news … has been the ‘protests’ of state governors’ stay-at-home orders and mandatory business closings to try to contain the novel coronavirus …These protests are a classic example of trying to control politics by controlling the national narrative. The protests are backed by the same conservative groups that are working for Trump’s reelection. …These are not spontaneous, grassroots protests. They are political operations designed to divert attention from the Trump administration’s poor response to the pandemic. Even more, though, they are designed to keep the American public divided so that we do not protest the extraordinary economic inequality the pandemic has highlighted.

These protests have diverted the national conversation by turning a national crisis into partisan division along the lines the Republican Party has developed since the 1980s... The change of subject protects not just Trump but also the ideology at the heart of his Republican Party. Since 1981, Republicans have argued that the economy depends on wealthy businessmen who know best how to arrange the economy—the makers-- and that it is vital to protect their interests. Under their policies, wealth in America has moved upward. The pandemic has highlighted how these policies have removed economic security for ordinary people. They cannot pay their bills, and they might well turn against an ideology that uses our tax dollars to bail out corporations while they must risk their lives to pay their rent.”  [Emphasis mine]

I am so glad someone smarter than me can reveal the interconnections of what’s going on politically.

There is food for thought on Facebook and Instagram: in the guise of a rewrite of Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese, this poem.

Mary Oliver for Corona Times (after Wild Geese)

by Adrie Kusserow

You do not have to become totally zen, You do not have to use this isolation to make your marriage better, your body slimmer, your children more creative. You do not have to “maximize its benefits” By using this time to work even more, write the bestselling Corona Diaries, Or preach the gospel of ZOOM. You only have to let the soft animal of your body unlearn everything capitalism has taught you, (That you are nothing if not productive, That consumption equals happiness, That the most important unit is the single self. That you are at your best when you resemble an efficient machine). Tell me about your fictions, the ones you’ve been sold, the ones you sheepishly sell others, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world as we know it is crumbling. Meanwhile the virus is moving over the hills, suburbs, cities, farms and trailer parks. Meanwhile The News barks at you, harsh and addicting, Until the push of the remote leaves a dead quiet behind, a loneliness that hums as the heart anchors. Meanwhile a new paradigm is composing itself in our minds, Could birth at any moment if we clear some space From the same tired hegemonies. Remember, you are allowed to be still as the white birch, Stunned by what you see, Uselessly shedding your coils of paper skins Because it gives you something to do. Meanwhile, on top of everything else you are facing, Do not let capitalism coopt this moment, laying its whistles and train tracks across your weary heart. Even if your life looks nothing like the Sabbath, Your stress boa-constricting your chest. Know that your antsy kids, your terror, your shifting moods, are no less sacred than a yoga class. Whoever you are, no matter how broken, the world still has a place for you, calls to you over and over announcing your place as legit, as forgiven, even if you fail and fail and fail again. remind yourself over and over, all the swells and storms that run through your long tired body all have their place here, now in this world. It is your birthright you be held deeply, warmly, in the family of things, not one cell left in the cold.

-Adrie Kusserow

 Not one cell left out in the cold. Yes.

There is so much to be grateful for. I have a place to live, and even while paying off my bankruptcy debt, I have plenty. Enough that I can make small donations here and there. Here’s one cause I found: supporting foster children who were in college and now have no place to go. (Terrible visuals for the logo: it’s “Together We Rise.”)

Soon, the nights of below freezing temperatures will pass, and both Lesbians of Paisley will be healthy at the same time.  Perhaps I’ll get my Tricycle-for-Grownups serviced and toodle around for exercise. Perhaps the Stitch & Bitch knitting/crochet gatherings will resume, maybe in a park for physical distance and social connection.

And maybe I’ve already had Covid-19, and so has Valerie. Looks like 50-70% of all the people on the planet, not quite 8 billion humans so maybe 4 to 6 billion people, need to catch this thing in order to give our species herd immunity. Or WILL catch it because we have no way to stop it, only to slow the infections so that health care is not overwhelmed. We live and Love in the Time of Coronavirus, to paraphrase Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I maybe a libtard, a snowflake, a lily-livered liberal, who’s heart bleeds. But I agree with this sentiment, found on Facebook, our American ‘commons’:

Love absurdly and abundantly, my people. And wash your hands. 

[saferincages]

Because of the dog’s joyfulness, our own is increased. It is no small gift. It is not the least reason why we should honor as well as love the dog of our own life, and the dog down the street, and all the dogs not yet born. What would the world be like without music or rivers or the green and tender grass? What would this world be like without dogs? - Mary Oliver, Dog Songs

Today, April 18th, would have been our beloved Angel’s 13th birthday. We were so hoping she would be here to celebrate it, but unfortunately her illness took her far more quickly than we were anticipating, which has us commemorating it without her, and still grieving her terribly.

I’ve talked about her so often that I now struggle to find the proper words to pay tribute to what a miracle she was for me, and what a truly special girl and precious little soul she was. I related some of the story of us getting her here, but wanted to take this last chance to remember. Saying I dreamed of or wanted a dog my entire life doesn’t even fairly capture it - I yearned for a dog, more than anything else that could ever be offered to me. There were multiple obstacles that made this impossible growing up - my mom and I being too busy with work/school to properly care for one, the fact that we were too burdened financially, the limitations on the kind of dog we could bring home given both of our allergies. Thus it remained my fondest continual wish. By 2006, my illness had been breaking me down for over a year. I had no choice but to drop out of school when I could barely function; I had reached what they called a “plateau” in physical therapy, a point where they couldn’t help me or rehabilitate me further from my lingering car accident injuries, and my immune system kept getting worse, my body increasingly frail. I was spending most days entirely alone while my mom worked full-time. It got to the point of quiet desperation, my depression was becoming more serious and we didn’t know what to do.

An e-mail went out in my mom’s office from a family who wanted to rehome their young standard poodle. We decided to go and meet her, and she was lovely, but she was 60 pounds and definitely too rambunctious for us to enclose in our very small living situation. (There’s a happy ending to that story, as her family decided to keep her.) The thought was irrevocably planted in my brain, though, and I fixated on the idea of finally finding a dog. We tried several other times - like a 3 year old Bichon who ended up at our Humane Society (they’re so rarely found at shelters that they did a lottery for people to be able to adopt him; our number did not come up), then a miniature poodle puppy at the shelter in Denver (same story with the lottery). I started scouring the paper, and one night in late July, in the online classifieds, I found a listing for six Bichon puppies. The timing was unbelievably perfect. I excitedly called the number, and the lady told me they had two left, a boy and a girl, and if we would like to see them, could we please come right away, because she and her husband were going out of town for the weekend and someone else was going to come watch the dogs. My mom and I got into the car in the dark of night and drove to the other side of the city. When we got there, we saw four little white fluffy faces in the door - the couple’s two adult Bichons and two babies.

We went inside, and the lady who had them started telling us about them. The little boy was docile and laid-back, the little girl was sweet yet very feisty and stubborn. She had been the smallest in her litter, and her five brothers and sisters pushed her around and never let her eat enough, and so she had to learn to stand up for herself. They were both darling. He laid quietly on the floor waiting for attention. She perseveringly climbed up onto the back of the sofa to be as close to us as possible, to sniff us and kiss our faces. She was silly and affectionate, and of course I instantly fell in love with her. She was meant to be ours. They gave us her papers, and her blanket, I scooped her up in my arms, and she was mine. On the drive home, our normal route ended up being blocked off because of a chemical spill, and the police officer who stopped us glanced into the car and smiled at the sleepy little puppy (”look!,” he said, “a carpet with eyes!” because she was quite fuzzy).

The gate to temporarily keep her in the kitchen overnight didn’t work at all, she was too smart for that. She squeezed out and promptly came into my room, whimpered on my floor until I turned to look at her, and waited for me to pick her up. I put her on the bed, she stole a pillow, and that was our story almost every night for the rest of her life. She was the best puppy, a model puppy, she never made a mess or chewed up anything she wasn’t supposed to (except for a roll of toilet paper, which only made us laugh), and she took to training quickly.

She was the most incredible blessing, and every day, no matter how sick I was, no matter how devastated I felt by anything else happening in my existence or the world, she gave me a reason to get up, to carry on. Not only because she depended on me - and that’s no small thing, having a dear, bright life that needs you to look after her - but because she was so boundless in her exuberance, her light, her love for everything and everyone. She believed all people and animals (I would say obviously other dogs, but honestly she seemed to like kitties most of all) should be her friends, and did her very best to charm them. She was excited to wake up in the morning, and she would bounce on me with her tail wagging in circles. She loved cozy things, pillows and stuffed animals and blankets and warm laundry; she loved soothing instrumental music and would settle right down to sleep when I put her favorites on (near the end of her life, we played a lot from Soothing Relaxation, and we put this one on for her before she died. She enjoyed certain piano pieces on the Soundscapes channel, especially this and this, she’d snuggle up and close her deep brown eyes whenever they played). She loved to play and growl and zoom around from room to room at top speed, she loved to lay in the sun and look out the window, she loved baby carrots and apple slices and was the cutest when she crunched them. She listened to me sing to her with rapt attention, and when we talked to her, she liked to talk back with various small barks and grumbles while inquisitively tilting her head. She had a mind of her own and liked to arrange things however she wanted them; she waved her paws constantly, and it meant different things depending on what she was asking us. She never stopped giving kisses, and this went double whenever one of us was crying, as she saw it as her comforting duty to lick away our tears. In her very last hour, when she hadn’t had anything to eat or drink for almost two days, when I was suddenly forced into making a decision I wasn’t ready to make, when all I wanted was to bring her home and tears were streaming down my face, she still sat up to kiss them away. It’s been hard having so many endless tears to shed since we lost her, and not having her in my lap to take care of me.

I’m convinced she did take care of me, more than I did for her. I called her my little nurse a lot, because she always knew when I was more sick than usual, and she worried and fussed around me, and tucked herself in by my side, and wouldn’t leave me. Even as isolated as I am due to being homebound, I was never lonely while she was in my life, she was always there to reassure me. She sensed so many of our moods, and she was so empathetic that we’d try not to get too upset around her because she would react with concern. When my anxiety and panic attacks began getting worse, and when my POTS became more severe, I truly began to realize how much she helped me, how her being near me calmed my tension, eased my physical pain, how running my fingers through her incredibly soft curls immediately lowered my heart rate, and that’s when I had her certified as my emotional support animal. She’d been doing that job from the start, so she deserved the title officially.

I mentioned here why I named her Angel: I wanted to use the name Angel because I love angels, because it made me think of sweetness and light, and of course she has been my guardian and my salvation and truly my Angel all these years, but she’s something else that word connotes too. She’s a warrior Angel. She was unbelievably strong and courageous, she fought so hard to live, and all she wanted was to stay with us. She was made of that pure goodness, and she was also brave and resilient. We called her bunches of nicknames - our diamond, our flower, our princess, our sugar, our baby, but she was profoundly an Angel most of all.

We had a unique relationship because we were almost always together, every minute, every day, every year. Not everyone understands the depth of connection knitted deep into our spirits that one can have with a beautiful living being, but experiencing it was a gift beyond any measurement words can give. I never left her for more than a few hours at the time. I never spent a night without her, except when she was in the hospital. She was my constant; my warm, fluffy baby, my treasure, and that life and happiness was everything. My dad acknowledged that, for me, losing her was much more like losing a child, because we were so bonded, so unbreakably close, and that is irreplaceable. I’ve mentioned before that I won’t ever be able to have that connection in human form, and getting another dog is once again an impossibility for us due to our current predicament (not that Angel could ever be replaced, but we would open our home and hearts to new love if we could), so she was it for me, the one dream come true, all I had.

I read Dog Songs as we were losing her, and Mary Oliver captured the adoration and the acute sadness exquisitely. So, that deepest sting: sorrow. Still, is she gone from us entirely, or is she part of that other world, everywhere? One of her poems was for her own Bichon, Percy, and these lines conjured Angel: For she was made small but brave of heart. For she could be silly and noble in the same moment. For she listened to poems as well as love-talk. For when she sniffed it was as if she were being pleased by every part of the world. For when she sickened she rallied as many times as she could. For she was a mixture of gravity and waggery. For there was nothing sweeter than her peace when at rest. For there was nothing brisker than her life when in motion. For when I went away she would watch for me at the window. For she loved me. For when she lay down to enter sleep she did not argue about whether or not God made her. For she could fling herself upside down and laugh a true laugh. For I often see her shape in the clouds and this is a continual blessing. She also wrote: It is almost a failure of will, a failure of love, to let them grow old - or so it feels. We would do anything to keep them with us, and to keep them young. The one gift we cannot give.

Despite losing the entire semblance of and hopes for my "normal" life when I became chronically ill, despite mourning people (whether they passed out of my life literally or figuratively), even still I have never undergone this level of grief and heartache. I long to hold her in my arms, to hear the padding of her adorable popcorn paws and the jingling of her tags, to kiss her irresistibly soft head (which smelled like her sugar cookie conditioner). She always had such an exceptionally strong heartbeat - the little heartbeat at my feet - and when it stopped, while I embraced her with my hand against her chest, a huge part of me went with her. She gave me so much purpose and grace and helped me survive. She lit up every day with joy, and we will never stop missing her.

Angel was the truest, most precious love I've ever known, and how lucky I am to have been blessed by such a wondrous girl.