#not tagging this fully bc i hate this
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YURI SPEEDRUN, GO!
#abird’s oc - oakley#not tagging this fully bc i hate this#it’s just silly#abirdnamedbirdie#abird’s art
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heard today on stream Martyn was showing off the lantern he’s been carrying around on MCCI again and i just want to know does he know? he’s reblogged fanart of himself and a lantern since week one of my AU existing and i just want to know Does He Know? does he know what he is doing to me specifically. Martyn ITLW if you see this post do you know what Lamplight AU is. please. you can read it it’s fine i don’t care i just want to know
#yeah what the hell i’ll put this in the tag#inthelittlewood#every time i lament abt this to cherri she just sends me a bunch of :3 emojis bc she hates me and wants me to suffer#actually tho i am fully of the opinion since CCs are selling their face/name/persona#they’re fully in the right to look up their own name and see what ppl are doing with it#like. fully i do not care if he reads this fic#but cherri taunting me. she’s killing me#says words
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I was reading a footnote to Themistius' Brotherly Love Oration and ended up doing a quick painting of Seleucus II Callinicus while looking all these people up
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#fun fact! caracalla (and by extension geta) is mentioned in the brotherly love oration itself :)#hey caracalla. do you like that. that you killed geta to get rid of him and now you cant escape the ghost of the brother you hate#OOF. well. anyway. i'm in the middle of making a blog specifically to spiral out about caracalla-geta-valentinian-valens#bc i feel myself 'feeling' spread out too much here and i dislike it. its like fraying at the edges. anyway:#fully intend to just. vomit out all my thoughts and art about it there for about four months and hopefully i'll return to a regular#state of being when i see gladiator 2 because its like. eugh. too much roman empire here. too many tags to keep track of#but also i cant shut up about caracalla right now and quite frankly. i need to lock myself into a room and just get it out of my system#drawing tag#CHRIST. what do i even tag this as. can i technically shove this into my 'it's all greek to me' tag. hm. maybe not. that's stretching it#Seleucus II Callinicus
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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more polls
*in my reworked weapons system (fuse isnt a thing) you can craft weapons via new smith shops or zelda (each offer different advantages- zelda, as your companion, can craft on the go but needs all materials, shops, which are dotted around the landscape and not restricted to populated areas, can provide materials you dont have but cost money- BOTH need the recipe for it though) both also REPAIR weapons (once a weapon loses its power/goes dull you can still use it but its stats are cut in half or more, but they wont break fully, repairing costs less material or money than crafting new)
in this system new types of weapons or specific, special recipes, can be rewards for quests or in the (reworked) mini dungeons, there are weapons recipes you can craft after you find one out in the wild (as in, the actual weapon) as well; part of the reward for helping out the regions is adding alot of new recipes
you have a (sortable! and with favorites!) collection of recipes to craft weapons from that you can select and then choose what material to use (higher quality material results in extra strength and durability, meaning theres less weapons that are default less good and it mostly depends on how far your progress is !weapons can be repaired with differing material from which they were crafted! so if you made your fav weapon with lesser material you can repair it with better ones and make it stronger and more usable for the late game- you can sell weapons at smith shops or store them at your home)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rewrites totk#totk rewritten#i dont remember my tags for it oh dear#ANYWAY#i really like this system bc i feel like its a good balance between breakable and non breakable#like its an evolution of botws system and feels fresh without getting fully rid of one or the other?#ALSO new rewards!!! i hate how useless all rewards are in totk- i dont care for glider fabrics!!!!#at least not enough to see that as the ultimative reward :I#ALSO adds intersting new things in the overworld via the shops#and kinda just .. makes sense??? for the world??#and unlike totks system its not doubling down on its issues- wasting weapon and material and weapons being always shit when found#also weapons looking like utter shit#yeah its funny to fight with a mushroom on a stick but ???? is that one laugh worth it dealing with this system??#not in my eyes#anyway#point is im pretty confident this reworked system of mine is pretty good and i also have design ideas#but idk if its intersting enough to actually .. draw out#i mean i do want to make a full proper breakdown of the system with sketches so its easier to visualize#but is weapon design itself intersting?
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I'm in the middle of a btvs s5 rewatch and idk what the fuck is going on but xander is NOT riley's number one fan. in fact he is dogging on riley quite consistently. he is holding a grudge, even. what happened to make him switch so hard that he's calling riley her "one in a life-time" ????
#I'm sitting here like. man! classic xander hating all of buffy's boyfriends. wait he becomes riley's cheerleader??#I know I'm forgetting something bc obviously I'm only on episode 9 but I'm just. soooo confused#and ik he likes riley cause he's another basic human but wh. wha. huh?#xander is so protective of the scoobies#ACTUALLY. thinking. thinking alert!#xander is SO protective. I feel like the fact riley cheated on buffy is automatic kill zone no matter WHAT she did or did not do#I mean I still fully believe he would attack buffy. this is normal xander behaviour as much as it breaks my heart. but like...#idk. I dunno man.#sorry guys I love xander harris he's my best friend y'know#I'm not tagging riley I don't ever want that fucker on my blog but I'm just curious#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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oh [tumblr dashboard] im just feeling real low
#me when I vent in tags rn =^_^=#i could draw things that matter but im not good enough for it.gh#i keep putting off ideas i want todo bc i want to be Good when i do them but as a result i make like. super derivative stuff#who give a fuck if its derivative etc etc what if I give a fuck#thr people need to know that i have thoughts !! about characters !! and sometimes theyre awesome#but also are they even. etc#ill be fully so real i hate feeling like i dont know anything#n i think i end up like. self fulfilling prophecy etc etc#tldr feel like my arts shit and whatever js behind it is shit. shrug#birbwellspeaks
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GOD I would HATE to be stuck at a family dinner with them 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I would NOT fucking survive, the vibes alone would do 1000 points poison damage to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Also JUST. JUST.
THE VIBES. ARE RANCID. SHARENA DARLING YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS (ALFPNSE TOO BUT DEAR LORD. Sharena LITERALLY was just told to Don't Speak Unless Spoken To RANCID. RANCID FUCKING FAMILY)
#I SAID I WOULDN'T DOCUMEBT THE WHOLE THING. BUT COME ON#gustav hits alfonse with the 'and' 😐🤨 and if i were him i would be internally exploding instantly.#HENRIETTE HITS ALFONSE W THE 'he missed you soooooo much 😊😊😊😊😊😇😇😇' and BY GOD. IF I WERE ALFONSE#i would SHATTER. LIKE GLASS. INSTANTLY. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#my BITCHASS FUCKING BAD WHO'S BEEN SILENT TREATMENTINF ME FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG#BC I HAD THE AUDACITY TO MAKE A CHOICE?????????? BC I DARED HAVE AUTONOMY????????? FREE WILL???????#ohhhh my god and sharena. SHARENA. DARLING. BELOVED. DEAR. how have you not SNAPPED#girl if i were you this would be my villain origin story.#i mean. if. moe is anything to go by.#gooooddddddddddddd.#HELP THE TYPO IN MY TAGS.... OF 'BAD' INSTEAD OF 'DAD'....... freudian slip. but am i wrong#GOOODDDDD BUT. HAVING. EYES. THAT KNOW. EVERYTHING. THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE#INSANE!!!!!! INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc i DO ACTUALLY BELIEVE HENRIETTE NOW??? WHEN SHE SAYS THAT ABOUT GUSTAV?!?????#SHE'S. the ONLY person in the goddamn fucking WORLD. who would know this. who would be able to read this. what the FUCK#but like THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE HIM ANY BETTER...... gooooddddddd I HATE IT. HATE IT#when the love IS there it's just fucking stupid bc nobody here is normal. about anything. making an endlessly complicated situation#type of shit that has made it so i never believe that anyone genuinely likes me. type of shit that makes me never believe an 'i love you'#UNLESS. if it's from my sisters i trust them w my entire heart. but holy shit it actually took them directly stating it#AS. AN ADULT. AT THIS TIME. for me to actually believe it. and fully actually accept it.#HELP AND ALSO... EVERY TIME GUSTAV CALLS ALFPNSE 'Son.' IT'S.. SO FUNNY TO ME IDK WHY#i just read it in that one voice/cadence. of that katamari post. my gay ass son who i hate. HELP#i need to find that again hold on#but first#fe alfonse#sharena#fe henriette#fe gustav#book 3 replaying#feh
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like idk. personally if the ex military buzzcut guy with a dead wife tersely told me that i didn't know what the wasteland was like before the colonial entity he was raised up in got their hands on it and that the ncr was actually "civilizing it" or whatever. and i then pieced together that he had been conditioned by the military he was a part of to mercy kill and is therefore very against that now but also definitely did that to his wife. and he then informed me that i should leave him behind because he was literally incapable of not shooting anyone in certain faction armour indiscriminately. my response would not be to try dating him. even if i did not know about the specific war crimes he'd done yet.
#not tagging bc these are just further thoughts inspired by a papakhan post (a good post!)#but. yeah idk it's interesting#i'm not even a boone hater i'm...... a secret third thing#i think i'm maybe just against romanticizing his bald ass lol#but i think that if one needs to like... soften the ideologies of both participants in a ship#in order for that ship to work at all#that is worthy of note innit#this has me thinking about the bg3 ships i hate LMFAO#i'm like halsin and astarion should not be within 50 feet of each other. stop it. get some help.#it's irksome. i am irked.#i also am fond of many improbable ships but i think that like#they work if one approaches them realistically ig#instead of doing that softening#which. will probably make them fully miserable LMFAO#misery is interesting. i'm not necessarily anti misery.#i mean i don't /always/ want to witness the misery but.
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"kunidazai is healthier than skk" annoys me so bad bc those are two very different relationships in dazai's life you Have to stop comparing them
#like did. did everyone just forget that chuuya's will to live convinced dazai to try living. am i going insane here.#that dazai got up and did something abt shibusawa bc he upset chuuya#that they have Despite Their Arguing always fully and completely trusted and protected each other????#what they have is not just like. a healthy partnership (which. lmfao imo abt well. I Shant Say)#but a bond built on recognition they cant just let go of. at the end of the day they'll always drift back to each other#bc if you cant hate urself might as well hate ur exact perfect mirror yknow#also JUST IN GENERAL fuck off abt other people not liking ur fuckass ship i swear to god i will hunt you for sport#sig.zai's already off my god damn table from those people I WILL START HATERISMING UR SHIT TOO#AND main tag it since kunikidazai fans cant fuckin learn to keep their shit outta the skk tag fucks sake
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here's how it goes:
everyone spends valentine's day in DEEP denial. tubbo isn't dead, he CAN'T be. when they die they come back, that's how it is, how it's ALWAYS been. the island is hell but at least fatalities don't stick, except in specific cases and all of them in the same white shells. of course philza jokes, he's thinking about tubbo, he can't stop. he's expecting tubbo to jump out at any moment, he's expecting to go to fobo and see tubbo hidden in the basement throwing darts at a picture of fit and pac looking at each other, he's expecting to go back to the dungeon and the body is gone (he hopes). tubbo's not dead. he can't die. none of them can, just the eggs.
(it never takes this long to come back; he knows something is wrong)
here's how it goes:
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life." the eggs have always had lives. i don't think some of them have ever understood that the players have infinite chances, with their insistence on protecting their caretakers from deaths like their caretakers do for them, charging back into the eye worker war, refusing to back out of a dangerous dungeon before their parents do, wanting to protect. i don't know if they understand that to the players, death is like spit in the face: unpleasant, sure, but no big deal.
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life" and of course they believe him. death is their constant companion, no more than two doors down. some eggs are used to it being a breath away.
here's how it goes:
tubbo is dead. the children mourn him. the players are scared. defiant. they always are. who among them has died? dan, missing; spreen, gone; maximus... well there was no body, no announcement, surely-
(how long did it take pierre to accept it? to realize it? to take down the missing person posters? not a day. not a day.)
juanaflippa died and there was a court case to save her. bobby died and the whole server journeyed to save him. when is the last time the players have taken death lying down?
here's how it goes:
tubbo dies, and he dies unloved (fit's arm is stretched out to save him). he dies without purpose (sunny is there, she's waiting, she knows he won't move). he dies and no one cares (chayanne refuses to leave, his godfather, he failed his-)
here's how it goes:
the valentine's party is so loud but too quiet. there's a name in the air, even when no one is saying it
"wow sure is good tubbo isn't here" phil says (he's said this before, he'll say it again, but isn't it strange how many times? perhaps even he doesn't believe it. perhaps he's trying to convince himself.)
here's how it goes:
a creature with too many faces comes. it tells them the truth they won't face. tubbo is gone.
quesadilla island says, "not for long"
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#idk not fully satisfied w this but it's 1:30am where i live and i have work#just had some Thoughts. if you're curious this isn't intended to bash any character#i'm not putting character tags on it bc i don't feel like throwing it to those specific wolves idk how this is gonna go over#just it bothers me how people are acting. wanted to throw some cents in the ring#i feel like people are focusing hard onto their fav's lore and missing the other side so.#tbh was a half attempt at throwing what i got out of it which is hopefully close to both#or at the very least it's Equally Neither Option :)#anyway goodnight from me sweet dreams#if you hated this don't tell me lmao#((yes i tire of angst; woe hope be upon ye))#((me: i'm tired grandpa; the qsmp angsting further: THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!'))#((maybe i LIKE hope qsmp maybe i LIKE defiance))#((catch me hoping all over the place smh))
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will never be over ppl so afraid/against villain redemption arcs/stories/fics/ideas.. guys, its just a fancy cover and/or excuse for psych analysis and exploration of a well constructed villain, you should treat it as a compliment
#were literally putting them in therapy so we can study them like a bug in a lab#also. it definitely does not minimise the evil deeds to explore reasoning psychology and venues of rehabilitation and resocialisation??#you literally do not need to “redeem” ppl who did not do horrible things ??#I think ppl are so resistant to it bc they instinctually know that hate is an aversive protective reflex and you cannot hate what ypu under#understand. or at least. its difficult to. but hate isnt the only thing standing between you and bad things#i think that that however can only ever be fully emotionally understood by ppl who have been to a lot of therapy and fully integrated both#their bad experiences and bad choices/instincts#jinx#sauron#mairon#loki#severus snape#hao asakura#just tagging it w some of my blorbs
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Friendly reminder Cap 4 is gonna feature a Zionist superhero played by a Zionist actress and that this is fucking abhorrent :-)
#captain america brave new world#bucky barnes#mcu#tagging the bucky tag bc look im happy to see him too but we can't forget about this#free palestine#i fully plan on pirating it if i can find it. i dont wanna see it in theatres#sam wilson#and i really fucking hate doing this because i WANT Sam's first solo movie to make bank. but at the same time i cant in hood conscience back#a movie financially when they have a character and an actor who condones genocide in it#from a company that has actively donated to the genocidal efforts
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ughhh I need to stop having mental breakdowns over little things.
#vent in tags#chat sesh with iris#vent#tw vent#I feel like everyone hates me and even you all hope I die and nobody likes my ships bc everyone thinks I’m not good enough for my f/os#and the worst part is that none of it is unfounded!!!#none of my friends are talking to me AT ALL anymore even when I start conversations#(including in text)#while they actively talk to other people WHERE I CAN SEE IT!!!#only one of my friends is and all they do is send me anti bs and go ‘omggg these people are so weird!!!’ about like anyone who ships with-#certain characters (including ones that I SHIP WITH!!! which is why I don’t talk about it other than here)#people are like ‘omggg… I hate it when men like these characters. you don’t get them and they’d never love you.’ about my f/os#which triggers dysphoria and self loathing and fear about my ships#tw suicidal ideation#<- somewhat#I don’t like anything about myself and I don’t deserve anything that I have#man. I don’t even want to be here anymore#also I have severe mental illness that has caused a lack of possibility for happiness that lasts longer than fleeting moments#I have not spoken (like aloud) to anyone other than my parents since THE THIRD!!!#I’m going to ask my psychiatrist for testosterone on Wednesday but idek if I’m gonna make it until then#probably I will because I’m too depressed to gather the energy to do it#also she might even say no or not be able to prescribe it#and this isn’t even why I’m the most upset rn but I REALLY need a win#also my mom was like ‘you haven’t given me another name so I’ll just keep calling you the name I gave you 😊😊😊.’ instead of. idk. asking me?#tw suicide#okay yeah the tag is fully warranted now#I like know how I’d do it and everything#I also had a panic attack because I couldn’t find my quilt hashtag just autism things!!!#not takeover#obviously
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have been seeing this going around so i decided to make my own!!
(just a disclaimer i havent rewatched some of the seasons in a while so i did this according to what i remember)
#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#levi's ted talks#the most recent seasons ive rewatched r hunted and sog and theyre still as good and thrilling as when i first watched#a little of s1 too#i put it down there bc the writing was kinda weird BUT it was the starting point of ninjago so im never hating on it#plus the memorable moments like goddamn#i constantly rewatch s13 i love it too much#i cant bring myself to rewatch seabound bcaause knowing whats gonna happen next is so fucking PAINFUL 😭#even tho im an angst lover the fucking seperation makes me bawl#my friend literally couldnt talk to me for a few days bc of the shock from the ending when it first came out#and to be completely honest DR is what got me fully back into the ninjago fandom#like id reblog posts n whatever but wasnt so involved#and id just rant with my friend abt it#but then when DR's release was announced i made my first post for it#(a redraw for an incorrect quote post: dig in my art tag and youll maybe find it . but beware)#and now im here with so many moots#art improvement and 3 fics and more coming aswell#how the fuck
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clockwork is like. super overly protective of the younger girls btw. sally especially for obvious enough reasons. for the same reason she initially has Really rocky relationships with ben and semi-jeff especially, bc they’re the ones that play with and look after sally the most. it takes a while for her to let her guard down when it comes to them
#icarus speaks#creepyposting#ask to tag#<- bc of the Implications#she’s protective of nina as well though not to the same extent#nina doesn’t have a little sister-like relationship w anyone (so far)#plus nina is a Little older and can fully take care of herself#sally reminds clockwork too much of herself. the same brown hair and bright green eyes#oh yeah btw again on the track of me hating random transformations#natalie always had green eyes lmao#i think the surgery just fucked w her vision. she’s largely blind in her remaining eye
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