#not tagging it as that specifically because i dont want people in my mentions because it got posted in the tag
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waffliesinyoface · 2 months ago
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i love when i hear about a fandom, and i take a peek at some the stuff people have made for it, and i go "yeah, sure, thats fine. not really my cup of tea but i can see the appeal"
and then later down the line, after seeing it keep coming up, i go and read the original source materialn and i go "wait, hang on, this rules."
and it turns out the reason i wasnt interested in it was because the derivative works were missing half the point of the source material, and had sanded off the good bits for fluff.
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rxttenfish · 7 months ago
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Asking because I’m extremely curious about this, how did MonProm’s writing get different over time? I remember you saying that the lore and characters feel different, and that it's missing sincere character interactions, too. I know almost nothing about the lore and I’ve only seen a few people mention the characters, so I’d be interested in a rundown of what aspects you think got worse in the series
I wouldn’t mind a very long response since I’m not that active in the fandom, I need to catch up on what happened
sorry for taking so long to answer this! i kinda waffled on it for a long bit, mainly because i started doubting myself again, and whether or not this was me simply overreacting or being tinted by nostalgia or simply being extremely picky and choosy in what i like (the last of which is true, i seldom get into fandoms at all for this reason and stay away from most popular media, but i wasn't sure if it applied here). i've posted about it already, but i'm in the middle of a psychotic episode where i can't feel a lot of pleasure to begin with + most things i do experience ending up solidly in the "very bad" category, so as you can imagine, i really didn't want to mislead and check that i was actually in objective reality.
as it is, this is also when a lot more screenshots started to be posted in the monster prom tag, and that helped me bridge the gap back into returning to the games themselves and feel like i was making a more accurate judgement. if you're one of those people who have been posting screenshots, i sincerely thank you, and i appreciated seeing you in the tag greatly.
for those not in the know — i've been in the monster prom fandom since it first released, prior to even the first additional ending to be added (the "Punch the sun" ending, and i recall the minor fandom drama that happened at that time due to it). my impression of monster prom is very much influenced by this, as what got me into the first game was the fact that the characters genuinely seemed to care for each other and were friends with each other (not merely tolerating each other's presences nor dressing it up, they sincerely thought of each other as friends and were open about that fact), on top of the wide variety of small details and statements that, if taken at face value, could create compounding complexity in the lives of each and every character and had wider implications for their lives.
no, they were not necessarily explored nor even necessarily "real", with so many conflicting events and statements, but i liked this too, because it meant a wider flexibility in what you could imagine, helping to create a more tailored experience for everyone who thought about these characters. this was what i liked about the early fandom too. what was baseline "canon" was so vague and minimal that you could have wildly different interpretations of the same characters' histories and relationships with each other. you would have radically different perspectives on what the world itself looked like, what it was like, that there wasn't really any wrong answers so long as their personalities remained the same. this is where you got the old headcanon of polly and liam being childhood friends who knew each other as humans, or that the world of monster prom was post-apocalypse where humanity itself had gone extinct or only existed in tiny pockets, or my personal headcanon that both monster and human society existed right next to each other and had minimal crossover for petty cultural reasons. this was also prior zoe-as-ro, and there were wildly different interpretations of zoe's personality, with most going for a far more disquieting creepy-cute than the deep nerd we got.
this is why you get stuff like the timeloop theory, where everyone is repeating the same weeks leading up to prom over and over, and are perhaps vaguely aware of it but broadly unconcerned. this is also why it felt like the joke that, the characters were still in high school but were all fully legal adults with most in their 20's, best landed, because it was absurd and strange and didn't quite make sense, but the world itself was inherently absurd and semi-malleable to begin with. realistically, i felt like everyone understood it was making fun of the trope of having adults play teenagers in american sitcoms and wildly casting outside the age range, but for more in-universe explanations it wasn't any different from the way that you would have a large, dramatic ending in which everything changed, but then you'd restart and everyone would be right back at the beginning with nothing different, or even having conflicting events in the same run. it was a dream-logic that fit with the tropes and, thus, diagetically made sense.
to be clear, i don't mind canon having a set, well, canon on which it refers back to itself. i don't mind expanding that or including more things which are set in stone. but there was a perceivable shift in how the games handled this over time, becoming a lot more... bitter, it felt, towards all of these different branching ideas and concepts that, yeah, the people making them knew wouldn't necessarily be "canon" because "canon" already liked to contradict itself so much. most people weren't even sold on any one idea, and there was a much greater sense of enjoying and appreciating all the varying ideas people would come up with even if you personally didn't share them. making the characters be out of character was the real crime, because then it didn't diagetically make sense in the same way, didn't wholly fit.
(again, this is not to say fanon didn't happen and characters weren't smoothed down into a simplified personality that fit these varying fan-interpretations instead of the game itself. certainly damien love/lust was just as bad as it had ever been, and everyone loved to mangle his character into a more stereotypical "bad boy with a heart of hold" all the time. but it certainly felt less set-in-stone about it than it does now, with any deviation from the norm being considered strange and odd and even broadly shunned from the wider fandom.)
all of this is setup for establishing what the writing, lore, and characters felt like in the earlier days. the characters were the strongest part, with their relationships to each other being equally as important. the lore played it fast and loose and was far less interested in setting anything in concrete because that wasn't the important part. the lore wasn't the important part, which was what made it all the more intoxicating to think about, all the more fun to play with.
montrip is easily the biggest offender when it comes to setting everything in all-or-nothing terms and demanding absolutism from the world. broadly i blame the hitchhiker conversations for the worst of it, but i think ultimately the way they handled the entire premise of the game is where this problem stems from. it's not really an exploration in the same sense that you might explore the first game, discovering different perspectives and different people with different relationships to each other. it's an exploration in the sense of a sequel that over-explains the monster, that takes the most boring option out of all those that were possible and floating around and settles on something that was blatant, obvious, typically rejected not because of how novel it is but how trite and par for the course it is in the rest of the genre.
yeah, okay. humans know nothing about monsters and there's a "monster dimension" that exists separately from the human dimension. there's no crossover between the two of them. of course there's a big grand-scale fight between the eldritch powers that zoe used to be a part of, from which not only are slayers the main organization against them, but also the merkingdom has some horse in this race too. it's an urge to make things so universal in explaining them, in revealing connecting threads which unite everything that's ever happened in here, that makes the worldbuilding and lore immediately much more boring than it ever was before.
and it didn't have to be this way! nothing in the first game contradicts any of this too explicitly (see the above, the first game loves to contradict itself), and i would even be happy if this was basically canon but never stated or confirmed to be the big overarching everything going on underneath it all. i believe you should probably know these things about any world that you create and have them in the back of your mind. the difference is that you can know these things and keep them in mind, even focusing on things where its very relevant, and still not reveal them. this is why you have lore bibles, after all. every horror writer knows exactly how their monster works and the full underlying reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't mean the audience will see it or possess this same information too, and leaving it intentionally obscure will make far better stories.
which, this is bad enough, but it wouldn't be the breaking point for me if this was all there was.
but the worst thing of all has to be the slow decay of the very same characters that sold me on this world, this lore, this game in the first place. monster prom is nothing without the characters in it. it's a dating sim, it has nothing but characters to get you to play, and liking these characters are the entire reason anyone would pick up monster prom in the first place.
and the first game pulls this off extremely well. it's all in the tagline: be your worst self. they are, indeed, all terrible people. yes, even that character that you just thought of right now. they all have points in the game where they commit atrocities, where they kill or hurt people, where they do inexcusable things that could not be ignored in a more serious setting.
but that's the point. i think there's something very powerful in creating a character who not only do you love and love their personality and the way they interact with the world, but who also are inapologetically terrible, and to have the humor and the charisma be so good that you don't get bogged down in the "this is awful". likewise, it never feels the urge to really go out of its way to justify what's going on. this is not to say theres no discussion of if someone "deserved it", but usually there's still the sense that the joke is on them, that this is still an extreme reaction specifically for comedy and not necessarily something that can be justified. you can have damien set leonard on fire and have it feel earned, without prompting the needed reaction of what it's actually like to watch someone burn to death.
this is what sets the prank masterz ending apart from the rest of the game, and really establishes it as the first real "bad ending". because nothing that you do or happens in the prank masterz ending is any different from anything else that happens in any other run. you summon evil beings from other dimensions as a throwaway gag on how visiting one location raises your stats. you kill other people and damn them to terrible fates. you watch as body horror happens. the only difference is that, in the prank masterz ending, the laugh track doesn't play.
the rest of the game and the writing echoes this philosophy, this careful interplay of tropes that keeps everything tongue in cheek and yet sincere enough to make sure emotional beats still land when they're needed. the characters feel true to themselves and their own emotions, even when the world is extreme and excessive, when everything else runs on comedy logic.
this is also what i noticed failing first as time went on.
like i said, fanon has always existed and there's always been very specific ideas as to what characters are like in the same way fanon always flattens down characters into the same tropes over and over. scott is stupid and innocent and doesn't know what sex is. damien is violent and hot and too cool for anyone else. miranda is the idiot girl character. repeat over and over and over until you get sick of it.
but it's been an issue as time has crept on that canon has started to approach fanon and began to merge with it. now, scott is so innocent that he can't even curse. polly starts being mean to her friends and saying things that would be very hurtful to hear. the merkingdom isn't really super evil and fucked up, it's just miranda that's like that. they become simpler, easier to digest, streamlined for social media posts and mass-sharing. they become less and less subversions of existing tropes and moreso just another example of them, something else to add to the collection, not their own individual stories.
even further from this, what more complex traits they had are now stated and not shown. polly is stated to be smart and clever in a way that her party girl persona doesn't imply and to be sincerely rather down to earth with the people she cares about, but we seldom ever see this anymore unless its the game specifically trying to make a point about it, in which case it won't let her do anything that implies cleverness and moreso will just outline it in the narration. vera is stated to care for people in a very genuine and heartfelt way, but seldom will get a chance to do so, and every opportunity for her to do so to their faces is missed while she will just outright state it later. it does not feel consistent, it does not feel like any of these are intended reads of their actions. it feels like the devs have something they want to do but no idea on how to actually do so. and forget it if you want these traits to manifest in small ways that show up in unrelated moments and scenes.
the dialogue becomes harder and harder to tell between each speaker, if you are just looking at what's said and not at the pictures attached to it. the characters' distinct voices have been eroded away, so that they speak more and more like each other, relaying the same terms and ideas in the same words. perspective becomes a suggestion, instead of a must.
this is something that started back in monster camp too, as all of the endings in that game felt ultimately the same as every other ending. it's very hard to place or define the full reason why, why there feels like there's no emotional stakes nor investment, why everything feels moreso like selecting different coats of paint and trying to find all the different ending pictures rather than being interested in exploring the characters as characters.
stranger yet, the series that started with the tagline of "be your worst self" has experienced a kind of... softening, for lack of a better word? what i mentioned about being able to handle the balance between terrible people who do terrible things and the light tone of the game starts to change, as abruptly the same characters who were down with violent murder in the first game start to lose their nerve, acting more and more on more typical morality. it's one of those things that feels like it's starting to damage the tone, as abruptly it's not as absurd as it used to be, demands less suspension of disbelief which could buffer and support the rest of the setting on it. there's even a part in one of the endings in montrip which involves current-polly and current-scott looking back on their monprom selves and reacting in horror at how violent and careless their pranks are, in a way that fundamentally felt like it was undercutting and disparaging all the things that felt fun and made monprom what it was.
which is odd, really, because more and more i feel like the characters in these games like each other less and less. the friendships and genuine enjoyment of each others company that brought me to this game in the first place has gone. now they don't mention each other as much, don't care for each other's feelings and reactions as much, aren't as willing to support each other. they are more and more found on their own, relied on their own, seem to seek out contact and interaction with their own friends less and less. it feels like they're all separating out into their own worlds, but also feels like they wouldn't willingly want to interact with each other if they weren't already forced together by some other outside contrivance.
if anything, i'd compare it to every other dating sim out there, where you, the player, are the most important person in these characters' lives, and they only feel ambivalent or antagonistic towards every other character. which, again, is not why i picked up monster prom or why i liked it so much in the first place.
and it's because of this that it feels like the current state of the series has to focus on its increasingly weak worldbuilding and lore, trying to form a more serious foundation without character relationships being so tightly bound together, without the characters themselves being more developed and rich, without an aspect of absurd humor to rely on.
more and more i've noticed monprom has to rely on referencing other series to make itself funny and create humor, which, again, it's always done. it was just easier to ignore back then, if you didn't know what was being referenced, because there was always more going on in the exact same scene to bolster it and give context clues as to the setup and punchline at play. it feels like the current games are much more dependent on you knowing pop culture references in order to have any fun with it, and i'm someone who, again, is very picky in what i like or what i'll seek out. i'm not interested in a stream of references about other things that i would much rather be doing than playing through a game that feels like it hates that i like it at all, when i could, again, just be engaging with the thing that takes itself seriously and knows what it wants.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#monster prom#asks#vanillabeenflower#this is. so long i am so sorry.#and its still not my entire thoughts because i have so many thoughts#this is an unedited ramble tbh and im very sorry for that#i have more complaints like#how fucking snide and condescending the narration is to its own characters#which it already had but gets even worse in the later games#which is why despite loving aaravi i dont want to play moncamp at all#where a character says they like something or feel something and the narration has to be so. sarcastic about it?#like how i mentioned about how it feels like how its looking down on them as people#instead of whats probably the intended read which is#more jokingly calling them dumb in an affectionate way like how you might do with friends#and ofc theres the whole miranda rant#i hate what theyve done with the merkingdom and i HATE adrien as a concept i wont lie#just. cool. this female character is too stupid to count as a lore character. we obviously need a MALE character to fill in instead#we cant just have miranda talk about this or center any of the other female characters#and how they feel about this and whats going on for them#no we need to make up a new man to talk to instead#im. im still really bitter about it i wont lie.#like i said i could go on and get way more specific about it#i just feel like any and all emotional weight to this has died and the characters are more and more obviously actors on a stage#for your own self gratification rather than their own people living their own lives#this is so bitter and i really shouldnt put this in the main tag#i am so sorry everyone who will see my rant. but my peace must be made.#dont worry im already asking myself if im just making all this shit up myself#what if some of us liked that the characters were so mean to the player and had no qualms about aggressively rejecting us#because it gave some illusion of them being able to make their own choices and decisions in what they wanted
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unforth · 1 year ago
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I. Hurt.
And I was hurting anyway, I'm pretty down this morning, but this hurt came from an outside source, and affected me in a way I'd honestly not have expected.
See, we bought Nimona last week. After seeing the movie, my kids wanted to read it. And I ended up reading ahead, and I just finished it.
Bonus content at the end, it said, and I was like, oh, an epilogue to the epilogue maybe? That'd be nice. I don't love bittersweet endings, I'd rather...
...no, it's not the conclusion.
It's CHRISTMAS.
In a book that'd had no religion that I noticed up to that point, BOTH bonus extras...were Christmas.
Ya know, usually it doesn't bother me. Usually I just suck it up. I think it helps that I was raised around mostly Jews and people who, if Christian, it didn't matter much to them. I'm from the Upper West Side of Manhattan, the descendent of Lower East Side immigrants, and while the world outside was brutal - my grandfather was a World War 2 veteran and among the soldiers who liberated Dachau, I can't remember a time when I didn't know that most people would look the other way if people like me were slaughtered wholesale - my bubble was safe, we were accepted, we were insiders.
I honestly can't think of another time I've interacted with a piece of media and felt so immediately, instantly knocked across the face by OUTSIDER as I just did when I excitedly turned the page to see what these fun extra bonuses were...and it was fucking Christmas.
I didn't even read them.
I'm honestly. So disappointed.
I don't have a thick armor for this kind of hurt. I'm Jewish, and as an adult living outside my old UWS bubble, that's often meant I've felt like an outlier, but I've hardly ever had this feeling where I was welcome to something only to be suddenly, violently shoved out the door.
And I've heard nothing, n.o.t.h.i.n.g. but praise for this book. And on another day, it might not have bothered me. I've never really felt like I had to fight to be seen, especially since I'm tremendously secular. I mean, I've celebrated Christmas my entire life, for starters.
But why. Why was this fantasy setting suddenly Christian? Why was this the touted extra content? Why is THIS special, when the areligious world established to that point was apparently not special enough?
I can't say yet if this ruined the story for me. It's far too soon. But I'm *intensely*, viscerally let down, and...I hurt.
Christians...maybe stop doing this shit.
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tamarieatsbatteries175 · 27 days ago
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Wow. What a rollercoaster.
#okay context time!!! this might get a bit long!!#okay soo first thing that happened like almost an hour ago: i accidently got the owner role in a server because the owner was giving a diff-#role to someone else and that was funny#everyone was kinda freaking out but i didnt actuslly take advantage of it i just enjoyed the image perms while it lasted#but like literally right after that.#actually first a little context:#me n my friend who we will call Em were talking abt a drawing she made#said drawing had some bit of gore in it#and i mention in these words specifically “sorry guys big fan of body horror art” and this message that started everything “gore 💚💚😍😍”#i remember vaguely that i got timed out and person who we will call B tagged M [M doesnt like gore] and called me a freak#suddenly EVERYBODY starts poking fun at me abt it with dumb additions to my messages#but TODAY. TO-FUCKING-DAY. M BRINGS IT UP AND THEN THE ENTIRE GEN CHAT STARTS FUCKING AROUND WITH ME#AND M FUCKING GIVES ME A “gore lover” ROLE AND PEOPLE WERE CHANGING MY NAME TO DUMB SHIT#UNTIL SOMEONE MAKES IT SO I COULDNT CHANGE IT BACK so i just fucking LEAVE LMAO#and this was going on for like 20 minutes btw#but M was begging me to join back blah blah blah i tell her it was actually pissing me off blah blah blah i join bac#n then they stsrt bullying Em for being yhe convo starter#sad face. but Em said that she doesnt care abt it and she just wanted to get everyone off my ass ::'3 ty Em ily/p#but uhhh yeah i think that was it#i dont even like gore that much anyway#i jst said it for the funnies#i think body horror is cool as a concept [i mean like take the rot from rain world as an example] but i feel uncomfortable drawing it n stuf#FEW. finally done okay bye#chiip is a huge bug enthusiast#rant in tags#tw gore mention#?#alr
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savage-rhi · 5 months ago
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MAGENTA.
#look...our profs are the experts but even experts get things wrong even experts have biases even experts are not equipped#to handle certain situations#this person completely invalidated the complaints others in the cohort have had this term on profs grading with bias and not communicating#what they want to see on assignments not to mention there's evidence of favoritism#this is the kind of shit that lets counselors and therapists like my former supervisors get away with bullying clients and colleagues#because they're “experts” they get a pass on being assholes or acting holier than thou#as a peep who plans to specialize in trauma specific to clients receiving trauma from clinics and other practioners#im hella disappointed#just because you didnt experience anything negative doesnt negate the experiences of your peers#there is something going on obviously that deserves to be looked into#it doesnt mean that your cohort is saying “the profs dont know what they are talking about”#gtfo of here#i can admit right now i gotta work on not getting angry when theres an injustice done on others whose voices aren't being heard#and i naturally have an aversion to authority figures that i know isn't always appropriate which ive unpacked through trauma work#but man some of y'all need to work on not being kiss asses to people in positions of authority who should be questioned#especially in this fucking field!!!#if a prof clinician practioner etc etc cant handle having a conversation about behavior or clarification then wtf are they doing#working with vulnerable people???#magenta is my vent word#magenta is my vent tag#sorry peeps theres something in the air today#im normally not this mad#and hindsight i admit maybe im jumping the gun a little but when i heard this kind of shit#where concerns are being swept under the rug i get peeved af#im happy i took summer off#heres hoping fall is better
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supahstarrr · 5 months ago
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as a dr fan we need to acknowledge that some of the danganronpa characters suffer through chronic liners for bad humor by out-of-touch old guy writers syndrome
#glaring at himiko yumeno. kaede akamatsu. sonia nevermind. akane owari....#uhmmm if anyone wants me to explain i can i dont think i can organize my thoughts in tags rn... maybe later ugnnnn#drv3#danganronpa#Okay fine here are my thoughts#“chronic liners for bad humor by out-of-touch old guy writers syndrome” is a simplified term for this phenomenon where writers#give characters lines not to reveal their characters but to please the audience in distasteful ways for the sake of being ''funny''#(uh maybe i should like... do an actual proper text reblog for this because its hard typing this shit in tags but)#i feel like a huge example of this is kaede's comments towards tsumugi to the point shuich says shes an ''old creep''#although these comments *could* be an extension of her trait for pushing people too far (ex: the tunnel shit)#the comments actually dont. instead they are treated very unserious. in a way they feel so... vague and light#to the point that it appears that those comments *arent* trying to reveal anything about her character#especially since that trait is more specific than quite broad#i get people being uncomfortable with those comments (i am too) but they feel like a terrible#''writers talking through their characters for people to be more engaged with the media in a quirky relatable way'' than anything else#like ''writers are trying to appeal to the audience humor/desires and reach the audience's culture to the point of being out of touch"#so THATS the reason that i feel like it will be weird to shit on ''kaede defenders'' for the comments cuz they're just so..#detached from her character that people hardly take that as genuinely being apart of her character#and if it is genuinely apart of her character then its only as a way to keep people engaged with the story and character#it hardly adds anything meaningful to her character#fuck me these tags are long but onto himiko: most things ive said about kaede's comments apply to himiko's weird#fucking racism comments (ex: the afro comment that genuinely made me a little upset)#but to add onto that. himiko plays into a very specific trope that is ''lo1i girl'' and often that trope comes with quirky and “funny” trai#they're supposed to be so palatable and marketable to the audience and apart of the charm is how ''funny'' they are#the racism comment is way more revealing of the writers than himiko's character itself.. so no himiko is not racist; the writers are.#feeling the need to play into a trope by creating “funny” lines that is basically just fucking racism is just soooo danganronpa#*eyeroll*#and yeah i mentioned the other characters. sonia and akane being a victim of this phenomenon#although this moreso reflects the english translators than the writers of the game...#them randomly speaking in aave (which may i add theyd never do this) for the ''lols'' is a choice..
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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i feel like the hello kitty doesnt do xanax post whenever i check the minedai tag on ao3 what is the obsession with piss im in agony
why did you just read my mind jesus fucking christ get out of my head youre so right tho this is so accurate and i feel this every day of my life and i feel insane and like im the one perceiving them weirdly so thank you anon for letting me know that im normal
#snap chats#NEGATIVE RANT BELOW IM SORRYYYY IM A LIL BIT OF A HATER#NO BUT PLEAAASEE I WAS JUST CRYING ABOUT THIS#not literally ofc but we know what i mean#minedai is technically one of the top five most popular pairings in rgg but like...#To Me- maybe im just picky and a party pooper- its just.. never done.. right?#i dont want to say right- the point of fiction is to have fun and yk be creative#and theres no right or wrong way to enjoy a thing and express your love for A Thing#//turning o my megaphone// HOW FUCKING EVER#it just feels so seldom with minedai stuff that it actually feels... like them?#and thats not even mentioning the collection of really-specific kinks it attracts for whatever reason#it might just be because compared to more popular ships I Will Not Name So I Dont Put This Post In The Tag#theres a lot more fanworks right. but with minedai its like. it feels like twenty people in a basement#and 3/4 of the people in the basement just have this vibe with each other that you dont get at all#probably hotboxing the place and you dont smoke so youre just awkwardly siting there with your facemask#TRYING to follow along but youre ultimately just like Whats Going On. Im Scared. Mom Pick Me Up#im not going to act like im perfect either tho- with drawing mine and daigo so much sometimes i do botch their characters a bit#trying to get better at that im making it a thing where i have to reread their rggo stories frequently just so i dont forget#maybe ill make a list or somethign... <- normal people behavior#regardless. all of THAT aside. i wish i could read more minedai fics#but the thing is just most of the recent works are just not for me. and its not that those works are for SOMEONE#but for mates like you and me anon we just have to get in the kitchen. only problem is i suck at writing SOOO#UGH thats my monthly minedai rant i guess LMAO i always feel bad bout these rants#but i also cant act like i like the fandom's version of minedai.. or at least. ao3's version of minedai#twitter's version of minedai..#bestie and i talk about it a lot we're just so confused how so many people can just. interpret these two SO differently yk what i mean#like again most of the works we see it never feels like mine and daigo it just feels like some AU versions of them#and again i dont reject interpretations of characters or HCs or whatnot again Its Fiction its not that deep#but it just feels so removed from the source yk. like when im looking for minedai i wanna see stuff that makes me go#'aw hell yeah that adds up. that lines up.' its why whenever i DO see stuff like that i go insane and bookmark it
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codnriddlewhore · 3 months ago
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Don't do this | a Tom Riddle oneshot
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A/N: HII soo this is my first attempt at fics, dont hesitate to say anything, good or bad
k have fun :))
tags: professor tom riddle/professor reader, marriage, angst, horcruxes, sorry if i forget any
wc: 1,584
They've been together, inseparable for 3 years, married for 2 and a half. 
Tom saw her as an equal as much as someone like him could, she entranced his very being. They talked about subjects he was interested in, in a very objective and intelligent way and he was in awe when he realised he found a match, someone that could understand his fascinations and obsessions. She mostly didn't share them but she was open, he could ask her at 2 in the morning which one of the unforgivable 
curses she'd use to get information from someone and she'd genuinely give it some thought. 
Her fascinations lay more in the zoological department, muggle and magical. She spent hours in forests and jungles, the beings holding her attention for hours. Though, like Tom, she found it hard to open up to people and find like-minded individuals not just regarding creatures but life in general. When he asked to come with her on one of her shorter research-trips, she felt her body and sould levitate. Her greatest wish has always been to grow old with someone loving by her side, someone who she'd love back with her whole self.  Is it him? She hoped so and prayed every night.
He felt the same when she asked about his sketches and faveorite books. Tom Riddle, the usually selfish and greedy man, suddenly interested in the eccentric and always joyful zoology professor? He cursed himself for it, a good 5 months before talking to her for the first time. 
Now she is staying at his home in the country, a dark penthouse by the sea. To be specific, it is not as dark now, he found that she brought more light into it than any possible lamp. 
As dreamy as this may sound, but like in every married life, there's always small and petty arguments. Like now, her sitting in bed and reading, not giving him half an ounce of attention while he looked at her from the doorframe. 
He mentioned horcruxes and the sheer idea of immortality a few times, even on the day they met, but she simply laughed it off. Who would want to be soulles? It seemed absurd. 
But yesterday evening, when he explained that he wants to go through with his plan of doing so, she couldn't bare to give him more than a gulp and ignorance. He was being mean.
"Apologise, so we can spend at least the evening as a couple. It's cold to sleep without you in my arms." Tom meant it genuinely, but his tone was rough. He didn't understand her problem.
She simply kept on reading, like he didn't even exist. He groaned in annoyance and that did it. 
"I'm sorry, did my back damage your knife in any way? Do excuse me", he winced and didn't know if it was because of her closing her book shut loudly or her words. Probably the latter. 
"What do you mean?"
She exhaled in confusion. Did he actually not see the problem? 
"Tom. You outright told me that you want to split your soul from your body and divide it into 7 different parts. Oh and that you want to live forever. Do you not understand why I'm upset?"
"I'm going to be honest, no, I don't. I find you're being ridiculous, this is a marvelous discovery. "
"Well it is, which on the other hand doesn't mean you have to partake in it!" she says as she sits up straighter in the bed. 
He sees that and mirrors her reaction, standong up straight and putting his hands in the pockets of his pyjama pants. 
"Why not? It would help me be more focused on my work and goals and I wouldn't be occupied with unnecessary matters."
"Like me?" His wife didn't know if she regretted saying that, but it came out in the same second he ended his sentence.
Quiet.
"Don't do this. Of course not like you, you matter a huge deal. This would benefit me in every part of my life, I'd be the most powerful wozard that ever lived. There's been noone else more powerful than Death in the history of wizardry and it could be your husband, how are you not the least bit proud?"
"Proud!? You want me to be proud!? What else should I do, throw you a party and congratulate you on a life of pure damnation!?"
She was now standing approximately 1 horizontal man away from him, on a good way to become furious. 
"Damnation? I hope you mean admiration and being seen with respect, fear and devotion for the rest of time."
"Tommy?" She only called him that when she felt truly helpless or frustrated.
"Yes darling?"
Her voice went almost inaudible, "Where am I in that wonderful way of living you so dream of?"
"By my side." He was sure of that and knew he needed her in this. She'd be his queen in the whole thing.
She breaks into a series of scoffs, some distrustful and some humorous, she found the situation quite absurb. What were they even discussing? 
"I'll age! I'll age and be old and grey and wrinkly and youll still be thirty! It'll look ridiculous."
Was it embarrassing he hadn't thought of that? 
"There's plenty of spells to slow down aging." Stupid Riddle.
"Great Havens. If we put that aside, what about your soul? You'll be a shell of the man you truly are. How do you explain that?"
"What? Thats foolish, I'll be myself!"
"You'll be a soulless man! Only goal driven and shutting out everything else! We'll never again talk about life and the universe late at night, you'll never again appreciate me making you tea when you forget the time in your study and we'll never joke about the future and raising an army of baby wizards who we'll name after the imaginary friends we had as children. We'll never go to the city again and you'll never pick out a flower I adore and buy it behind my back to surprise me later although I'd always catch you and we'll never buy cheesy and ironic books for each other in that beautiful old book store we love. Now call me crazy and soft, but I happen to cherish these things."
It was hard to look him in the eyes during saying all that, but she needed to get her point across. She also despised herself for tearing up at this very moment, walking towards him with a pointed finger.
"Tommy, I swore to support and love you in everything you do, but- but taking the soul of the man I love from me-", she hesitated, wanting to stop her voice from breaking and breath from hitching.
He gulped. This was unfair.
"Don't do this."
"-taking that; now that's too much for me. I can't stand behind that."
"You're being cruel."
"I'm not the only one."
That stung, it stung them both at the same time. In the end, they were both just people. She was now standing very few inches infront of him, pointing at his chest, barely holding herself together. 
"You know what? Do it. I wont stop you or hold you back. That was never my goal."
"I don't understand. Forst you can't stand behind it then you say go ahead."
"If this makes you happy, what I truly doubt, you'll do it without me."
That made his dinner almost come up slightly, it was never an option. 
"You can't just leave now, you know I love you. Do you not love me anymore? Is that what you're trying to say?", he knew it spounded mean but he hoped to get the point across, he was genuinely wondering.
"Oh don't twist this. I'll always love you with every part of me, body, soul, mind and all, as long as I live, that's why I can't-
that's why I can't watch you do this..."
"So what are you going to do? Just leave? You know you can't do that." He didn't quite believe that she would. Was it cowardly to start a fight rather than comfort her or express his own feelings? He'd have to look into that.
She breathed in, deeper than ever before. It was important that she stays collected now.
"Fine. I'll leave when you do it. That way you wont miss me."
Tom Riddle never got dizzy, he was too aware of his surroundings for that. Yet, now he was holding  onto the doorframe next to him with such strength, that his knuckles turned paper white. He was also afraid to touch her, even breath in her direction, because she might fully disappear already.
"You can't...you can't be serious..." It was more of a whispered plea than a threat. 
She on the other hand, felt that she needed to touch him or else this stupid boat of too many emotions for both of them would sink to the bottom of the deepest point in the ocean. His cold cheeks warmed at the touch of her palms. In that very moment he also exhaled briefly, still finding deep-rooted comfort in her, even at this time. Her eyes filled with tears, to the brim this time and she ignored them, it was no time to sob now. Her right hand caressed his hair; like it was any other moment they shared before.
"I'm sorry Tommy. I really wanted us to get grey and wrinkly together."
to be continued...
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hoshinasblade · 2 months ago
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you are so close to gaslighting yourself into thinking that maybe, just maybe you have already told hoshina's mom in the past what your favorite tea is.
the problem with that thought is today was the first time you met the mother of your boyfriend.
you denied it in your head - for all you know, perhaps mrs. hoshina is just really a good at guessing. that, or you are going batshit crazy.
because at that very day, people you have met for the first time - people who may be friends with hoshina soshiro but are practically strangers to you - seem to be aware of small details about you.
captain ashiro complimented you on your blue dress after shaking your hands, saying it's obvious why it is your favorite color, emphasizing how it brings out the intensity of your eyes. even okonogi, who you know works directly with the third division's vice-captain, had a specific joyful aura on her friendly face as she offered to hang out with you in the future, mentioning how she is a fan of true crime documentaries too and suggesting in the same breath that you should try the pudding sold in the headquarter's cafeteria.
you could have let all of that go if only you did not blush like a teenager after hoshina's own older brother called you by your childhood nickname during family dinner.
"i'm sorry." hoshina's hand found yours, his thumb drawing patterns on your wrist. he knows you'd been on edge since morning, and although this is entirely your idea - meeting his friends and his family in one day - he wouldn't blame you if you're overwhelmed.
"they did their research on me or something," you tried to laugh the nerves away. it didn't work.
"ah." hoshina suddenly looked guity. " that. well -" he stopped for a moment, gathering his wits, choosing the right words to say. "i mean, it makes sense that everyone who actually knows me would know about you, really."
you wanted to joke as a response; you wanted to say that he's talkative and tends to yap for hours about stuff he loves so yes, people around him would naturally know things about you. but then you caught yourself because this is yet another confirmation of what hoshina soshiro had been telling you for months now - that you are someone he loves.
you did not know being known could feel this sweet.
"huh. do you reckon i can extort them for information about you next time?" this time it was your turn to grab hoshina's hand, and with your forefinger, you traced three little words on the warm skin of his palm.
[author's note: hello guys, i know i haven't been posting a lot anymore, but i am thankful to everyone who still remembers this blog - yes i can read your asks, yes i see that you've tagged me in a fic, yes i checked my notifications in this blog every now and then. it might take me long to respond most of the time so apologies in advance but please know that i appreciate all interactions from everyone.
also i dont need to remind you but i don't tolerate copy-pasting or reposting any of my works anywhere. i read a lot from here too, and other writers can attest to this as well - we know if a line or a paragraph from any of our works is copied and/or reworded. ]
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cozymochi · 3 months ago
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gonna be super un-ceremonial about it, but ermmmm does anyone wanna art trade or something
Tumblr media
wowza i hit 5k followers, time to do something i rarely do but also semi indulgent because. i got in my feelings.
im offering.. … SOME KIND OF ART TRADE. A DRAWING OF YOUR OC (limit 1) OR WHATEVER YOU GOT 🫵… in what amounts to the above or something like one of these type of things i did. Draw (1) of mine, I draw yours. My art will be of the above quality give or take. Kinda like some of my category 1 commissions. But the transaction is art
I’m only offering it to 5 people (because 5k) I’ll spin a randomized wheel of the 5 people I’ll trade with.
My only entry rules are: Already be a follower, and if you want a shot, just reblog this post and mention in tags that you want in, and maybe if you want include the character you’d wanna see drawn if you get chosen (or just reply if you dont feel like doing any of that). But hey, you don’t have to (but i am only counting reblogs/replies that explicitly mention wanting to participate). This is just for organizational purposes. So no “signal boosts” please
Any other specifics of the trades will go in DMs after the fact once 5 people are chosen 😩 (if theres no answer within 1-2 days im rolling again to the next person)
THIS WILL END…. Saturday October 19th (i will shut off reblogs then). Because im a loose cannon. On that day i’ll @ or message the 5. Whichever happens first
and to my non-artist followers im sorry 😭 and to my non twst followers still left… i got characters from other fandoms we can make it work 💃
BYE
EDIT: IT’S OVER. Names haven been compiled and messages sent out 🎉.
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neechees · 3 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/baconvonmoose/762184790376136704/thank-you-look-i-know-people-mean-well-i-do-im?source=share
Reading all this and that's the first time ever I've seen someone say this about W*nd***.
Thought to bring this to your attention
I've always said that you'll get differing opinions about the Ice Cannibal because different groups might have differing opinions & protocol on the spirit on who can or can't say it or when, and like I've always specified I prefer it when people dont say it around ME.
But I'm kind of suspicious about this random user coming and saying "well I'm Native American" because of the way they're speaking. They say they're "a subdivision of the Algonquin" like there's no "subdivision" of the Algonquin UNLESS they're claiming to be of the Algonquin TRIBE and trying to talk about their specific community, but they don't specify it, and they seem to be equating Algonquin with Algonquian (a Language FAMILY), which is something a lot of Moniyawak & pretendians do.
Also, there's no "my tribe told the first version of the wend!g0 myth" like they claim they are, because again, multiple tribes believe in this spirit, and it'd be stupid & unfair to try claim authority on it for "the first" because we don't know who was "the first".
This user also claims that "it's a spirit that can possess people so it can look like anyone you know", I've talked with other ndns about this and there's even some debate over whether this "possession" thing is even true, at least for some tribes, because settlers were using this excuse to go and execute multiple Native people under the premise that they were "possessed" by a cannibal spirit (and how often do you think White people back then gave a shit about our spiritualities?). In many tribes, including mine, I know the ice cannibal is a spirit that exists in its own right but that also humans can turn into one.
This person is just acting like a jackass and doesn't seem to hang around other actual Native Americans who believe in our religions, because of the way they're talking, but want to act like an authority on our spiritualites. They don't even want to acknowledge that maybe they heard the "we don't say it" variation because of different beliefs in different tribes. Them calling everything I just mentioned fucking "misinformation" is itself misinformation, and completely fucking unfair of them. And the ice cannibal spirit isn't even the only spirit we do this with. We don't just avoid saying its name out of fear, it's also out of respect and protocol.
I've also never seen this person on ndn tumblr, & they don't seem to have an "ndn" tag. This might be a case of a White person suddenly claiming Native heritage to get in on a conversation that isn't theirs to have. With the way they're acting, talking about Native spirituality, etc, this sounds more like a White person with maybe some Native ancestry who doesn't actually hang around other ndns just trying to be an authority on something they have no fucking clue on & that they got all their information from white websites, because virtually everything they said was wrong.
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months ago
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Obligatory, I don't think I'm technically wrong, but I know I could be an asshole, I think I'm justified, I wanna know what other ppl think, etc,
This is mult. fandom related and I'm 25 and have been on Tumblr for approx 10 years so I'm not speaking as someone new to either Tumblr or fandom spaces
AITA for reporting art and fic as spam when it's tagged as something else in a tag I'm searching for?
This applies to many fandoms I'm in not just one so I feel no need to list them since it's not like personal beef or fandom specific drama but basically as I'm sure many people do when I want to see fan art or even the occasional fic for my favorite character I'll go into their character tag via Tumblr search, it's one of the few things I enjoy about this website is it's semi functional tagging and search system. But more often and usually lately I've been finding a lot of stuff in say character A tag that doesn't have character A in it, it's a drawing of character B that's been tagged with the main fandom tag, B, and every other main character. I know its so the art or fic gets more views but it's annoying ESPECIALLY if it's fic because not to generalize but fics tagged like that usually dont have a read more either so I have to scroll past this massive block of text that's not only a fic I'm not interested in, but one that's incorrectly tagged for a character I'm trying to find content of so they're the ones I tend to report as spam the most over art which is easier to scroll past ill admit
Even on ao3 it's a feux pas to tag characters that just "appear" if they're not central to the fic so they already shouldn't be tagging any character mentioned in their fic
This USUALLY tends to happen with people's oc posts as well and nothing against OCs they're just not my thing and if I were in the main tag I'd happily scroll by since I recognize their place but just like the other two I'll notice it's just a drawing of someone's oc or their OC's profile and it's tagged with the full main cast, thus showing up in the character I'm looking for's tag
Or character x readers and character A (and C, D, E, F, etc) will be tagged on a B x reader fic, obviously I have no interest in reading a fic like that especially when again the entire cast has been tagged not because they appear in the fic but for engagement
Also I'm not dumb I filter for fandoms so like if the tag I'm in is just "Steve" obviously I know it'll apply to multiple fandoms like Minecraft or avengers since that's a super nonspecific name/tag I'm talking about deliberate tagging within the same fandom
I also don't report the post if they're like "this is my OC his name is James Bond" obviously that's gonna show up in like the James Bond tag which while more specific would not count as spam since that's still a proper tag that would apply, it's the OC's name that just happens to be the name of another character
So, while I don't feel bad because I find these people annoying since they're obviously tagging things like I mentioned on purpose for attention but on the other hand I feel a little guilty because fan art and fan fic is important to any fandom but just, that is one of the definitions of a spam post is something improperly tagged on purpose
TLDR: I report posts in my favorite character's tag as spam when they don't have my favorite character but are tagged with them because they clog up the actual tag with garbage
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feukt-42 · 3 months ago
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Yet another post about Leda
You know, its kind of funny, but I've been browsing ER fanfics and fancontent almost daily for a while now (pls help), and one thing I've noticed is that a lot of people just. do not want. to put Leda and the gang in their fanfics. The most out of all Miquella's followers I found was Ansbach with 68 fics on Ao3. Leda herself comes at second with 48 fics and the others just kind of fizzle out after that. By comparison, Messmer, another DLC character, already has 500 fics.
Now, I know that this in large part due to the Messmer horny. But still. There's been 1,372 fics released in the ER tag since the DLC released as of me writing this. That doesn't really explain it. A good explanation might be that souls fans like to dwell on the pre-canon lore era we don't get to see, but even then, I remain disappointed by the lack of Leda in those fics as well. I have read several Haligtree-or-adjacent-focused fics written post SotE and few of them feature Leda or the needle knights, which is honestly a shame because Miquella having his own order of knights (almost counterbalance to the cleanrots), is a very interesting idea, and I am starving for Leda interacting with literally any member of that cast, her whole deal is just so interesting. And its not like Miquella doesn't care about her and she's just a weird fanboy, he gave her a wholeass rune and shit.
"But OP," you might be asking, "why dont you just write your own fic then ?". And you see, that is an excellent point, but I am unfortunately a coward with no confidence in my writing skills. So instead, I decide to make this.
I hereby present :
My Leda facts/analysis/interpretation/theories collection !
I am making this mostly to gush about Leda to spark interest in her as a character and maybe give interested writers who have actual skill to use this to get some inspiration. By no means am I suggesting that this is a guide everyone should follow, this is mostly just my inane ramblings about a character i am obsessed with. Still, if it helps someone make something, that's a net positive in my book.
without further ado, let's get into it.
Part 1 : Miscellaneous Facts
Fact number 1 : Leda doesn't see grace (at least her character model implies so):
I don't remember where it was, but I remember seeing a post that had every SotE NPC's eye colour in it. And a cool thing about that was that only a few characters didn't have the grace of gold in their eyes. And I remember specifically getting to Leda, noble knight of Miquella, and finding out that her eyes do not have a single trace of gold in them. They are grey with a blood-red clouding.
And I just found that so interesting it made me make this post, because what does it mean ? How did she lose it ? Did she ever have it in the 1st place ? Some of you might be thinking it's because she follows Miquella and not the GO, but the funny part is that, again, most of the others have it !
Hornsent has it, Ansbach has it, Freyja has it, Ymir has it, Moore has it, even the fucking madding hand has it. So why doesnt Leda ? (this also goes for some of the other NPCs who don't have it but im not spinning them in my head like a microwave so too bad ig)
Fact number 2 : She definitely killed the other needle knights
Ok so I already talked about this somewhere but I don't remember where so let's just start over from the beginning. The description of the Retaliatory Crossed-Tree states there were once more Needle Knights but now there's only one left. Meanwhile, Leda's sword says it "still reeks with the stench of crusted blood that lingers from the cull of her knightly comrades". Love myself a good "can't wash away the blood" trope.
Anyways, I took those two facts together to mean that she killed the other Needle Knights and talked about it in that alleged prior conversation I mentioned, but someone else replied that her "knightly comrades" could very well mean Hornsent and Ansbach, whom she attempts to cull before you reach Enir-Ilim. And I wanted to disagree with that, but I didn't actually have any evidence except "it's funnier this way" so you know, fair's fair. Except ! No it isn't !
When you help kill Hornsent, she says this :
He never placed his full trust in me, even under the effect of Kindly Miquella's spell. He must've recognised something. The scent of the killer that slept within me. The stench of crusted blood.
Mind you, this is before killing Ansbach, and right after killing Hornsent. The crusted blood from the cull of her comrades cannot be theirs, meaning Leda did kill the other NKs.
Fact number 3 : She deadass just smells like blood the whole time we see her
As just stated, we have 2 items describing how Leda just smells like dried blood. This has endless comedic potential imo, hear me out :
You first meet this dignified, knightly woman in Mohgs arena. You don't notice anything wrong with her smell, because of course it smells like blood in here, have you seen the place ?
The next time you meet her is in Scadu Altus. You begin to think something does smell really bad here. It's still not her however, because the Hornsent and his canonically shitstained loincloth are standing like 10 meters away from you, likely overpowering the scent.
You only get to realize its her constantly smelling like blood after the charm is broken and Hornsent leaves, and that coincides perfectly with the reveal that she's just paranoid as fuck.
10/10 olfactive storytelling. I mostly just put this fact here in honor of that Bloodborne bosses ranked by smell post tbh, that shit lives rent-free in my brain.
Character analysis time ! This bit is more given to interpretation so feel free to disagree on this :
Shes really not that bloodthirsty you guys
Alright, so this one might be a bit surprising given we just went over the fact she smells like blood, but the popular interpretation of Leda doing this because she likes killing and shit is just dead wrong to me. I spoke about it before, but there are so many lines of dialogue that suggest otherwise. Hell, even the sword description says she tried her damnedest to get the blood to come off. Here are some of the most telling lines i found (from fextralife/the github with all the text from SotE) :
-Her describing herself as a "killer" in that line about hornsent and crusted blood earlier, she seems to be very blunt and honest about what she does, almost to a self-deprecating point.
-I know I shouldn't let myself... But I suppose it's only natural to feel the weight of one's deeds at times like these. There is plenty left to be done. And I will see to it. <- what else do i even add here
-I don't enjoy casting suspicion on anyone I've called a comrade. But it's a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. We must eradicate all doubt...
-None can deny Sir Ansbach was truly a great man. We can be proud, that we were the last opponents he ever faced.
-Sir Ansbach must have considered it an honourable end, being felled by your hand. After all, the good fellow held you in the highest regard. When we speak of it, we may speak with pride—that we were Sir Ansbach's final adversaries
Those lines seem to be alternate versions of the dialogue you get after helping her kill Ansbach. And oh my fucking goodness gracious, i fucking love the second one. Like ghhhhhh, the grief for a comrade and the guilt and the self-justification and the need to move forward and theres somehow even more blood on her sword that she can't ever wash off but she can't stop here, she has to keep doing this because its not about her for her, its not about her feelings or her guilt its all just for the greater purpose shes reaching towards arghhh its so good.
There's also a notable throughline of her shutting her emotions down more and more as she goes, whether its to better do her job or to follow in miquella's footsteps :
-Unruly emotions only lead to misfortune. All the more reason we need someone like Miquella the Kind.
-Man is a compassionate animal, for better or worse.
-So be it. If you insist upon facing Miquella the Kind, Then I will run you through, whoever you might be.
-A single betrayal, enough to turn the tides… Unfortunate, but I will leave you be, for now. 
-I expected things to end differently with you. What a pity
-I suppose it was Sir Ansbach who won you over. Fine. One more heart for my blade to skewer.
Side Note : Those three last ones also read like shes really salty about being betrayed, and that's really juicy because it feels like she trusted you. She trusted you a lot more than most of the others, so it really stings quite a bit to learn you were lying the entire time.
All in all, it really does feel like she has to shut herself down to be a better knight, a more efficient tool for Miquella to wield. It's also quite tragic because she seems to be a compassionate person at heart, she welcomes you into the club, she constantly tries to understand the reasonings for other people's actions, and she tries to find ways to let those she suspects off the hook :
-The hornsent, hmm. On one hand, he trusts Miquella the Kind to bring salvation to his people. With the enchantment lifted, his vengeful passions may once again ignite, but surely he'd be mindful of Kindly Miquella's promise... <- this reads like her trying to convince herself she doesn't have to kill him
It's also very interesting because despite that, she really doesn't seem to be much of a people person :
-But for this very reason, Thiollier is incapable of betrayal. St. Trina's love for Kind Miquella is boundless. She is, after all, his other half. Or perhaps her feelings go beyond even that. Even if she was left behind, I doubt her heart would waver. <- she's just deadass wrong about Thiollier and St Trina
-If you don't meet her before the charm breaks, she does a really awkward introduction and then immediately starts infodumping about her crippling paranoia and zealotry
-Ansbach straight up just tells you : So, you've taken Lady Leda's side. I'm glad she stands with an ally. She tends to overestimate the burden she might carry alone. This is straight up just "oh nice, you finally made a friend, im so glad for you". This implies that Ansbach didn't believe Leda really had anyone on her side before then, and she kinda doesn't tbh. No one is really here because of Leda in the final battle, Dane is here for Miquella, Freyja is here for Radahn, Moore is here to cope with existence, and Hornsent just has an (understandable) hate boner for everything Golden Order. She doesn't really have any friends.
(Also shoutout to Ansbach for being concerned about the people trying to kill him, he really is the goat fr. Also: I've utterly failed you both... No wait grandpa its not your fault im so sorry)
--the funniest moment in the DLC imo : I've come to a realisation... There's ample evidence... Without Kindly Miquella's influence... I'm quite mistrustful of others...
Ah yes of course, the trust issues. Where do I even start.
This woman has nothing but contempt for mankind as a species. She is, as stated earlier, compassionate and tries to be nice to people but she constantly assumes the worst of everyone as a reflex. Her trying to find a way not to kill Hornsent is only because she wholeheartedly believe he will be the worst version of himself as a baseline, and thus thinks of him as a threat who must be dealt with.
-I'm afraid Sir Ansbach will have to be next. He claims he hasn't the spirit to take up his sword again, But in his day, he was the feared commander of the Pureblood Knights, who cleaved open Miquella the Kind with his blood blade. But I doubt it'll be very long... Before he recalls, as I have, the cascading sheets of blood. <- no trust at all
-her dialogue about you "turning on her" also feel like she's resigned about it, like someone who came in expecting failure and was still disappointed, like why did i even try, i should really know better.
-That aside, man is by nature a creature of conquest. They were never saints. They just happened to be on the losing side of a war. <- the classic. What else needs to be said. These are the words of someone who takes war, violence and hatred as a given.
And that leads me to my next point. I think Leda has had a very violent life overall. Some of the shit she says sounds too specific to just be a generalisation:
-But vengeance changes a man.
-Unruly emotions only lead to misfortune.
-Before he recalls, as I have, the cascading sheets of blood.
-One more heart for my blade to skewer.  
-The scent of the killer that slept within me.
This all sounds like she's talking from experience, and there's also her skills as a knight : she has the highest hp pools of the gank squad and can 2-3 shot most players. I know gameplay =/=lore but Freyja respects the hell out of her: Lady Leda and honourable Ansbach are of a special breed.
It's a very interesting combination of an extremely skilled knight who is very good at killing, has presumably been living a very violent existence and who trusts no one but herself, but who also hates having to kill and feels really guilty about it, despite having to do it for the sake of her cause.
And I believe that is the crux of her purpose, and why she is going through so much to fulfill it at any cost:
Leda believes intelligent beings are inherently flawed , and can never be trusted to do anything but make each other suffer. Leda is tired of inflicting and receiving violence, and sees little purpose in seeing the good in others. Leda would have probably made a terrific Lord of Frenzied Flame with how little hope she has.
But instead, she found Miquella. Miquella, who dreams of an age of compassion and who is in a position to achieve it, Miquella, who was raised in an order built and maintained through violence and grew to abhor it. Miquella, who Leda probably sees herself in, who Leda trusts blindly and unconditionally, for whom Leda is ready to commit any atrocity, no matter how it makes her feel, because he is her lifeline. He is her very last hope, the only solution short of complete annihilation she can see for mankind to reach pace.
So what if that peace is forced, is all of this suffering truly worth what little free will we can exert onto our world ? Leda has seen what mankind does with its free will, and she is tired of it.
She doesn't care if she lives to see it, she doesn't care if she has to kill every last part of herself in order for the world to see peace. No one will miss her anyway, she's nothing but a blood-soaked murderer. It doesn't matter if she likes these people, friendship and trust aren't worth all this senseless violence.
So she'll keep killing and killing and culling, until her blade is dull with crusted blood and every last obstacle to Miquella's age of compassion is gone. That's what a Needle knight does, is it not ? Kindly Miquella fashioned us as his needles to quell all, to ward away all.
And if Miquella doesn't understand her, it doesn't matter. He's far too good to understand the sacrifices necessary. She'll do what he can't. The other needle knights did not understand this, they were too naive to do what has to be done, so they were a liability. Don't think about their betrayed looks of terror, don't think about the cloying stench of blood sticking to your footsteps, this is your burden, this is what you deserve. You already knew you couldn't trust anyone, why would this be different ?
If Miquella must cast away parts of his very being to have this world then so can you. So sever that part of yourself that says you should be nice, that you should trust those willing to help, it only makes things worse. It will all be worth it in the end.
Phew, i kind of went apeshit while writing that last part. I hadn't really planned all that honestly.
To conclude this essay, I'd like to point out a really fun parallel to draw here. In this analysis, I have described my interpretation of Leda as a very skilled self-loathing blood-soaked knight who is tired of their endless crusade and yet is endlessly pushed forward by their utter devotion to their god, their salvation made flesh, whom they will shield for the atrocities committed in their name by being the sole person to blame. If that doesnt remind you of Messmer, then i think ill just curl up into a ball and yell very loudly.
Thanks for reading till the end of this absolutely nightmarishly long ramble, let me know if you liked it ! And don't hesitate to send any Leda fics you find or write along the way !
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ly0nstea · 1 year ago
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Apologies to @sleepycrowhours for stealing the tags but i want to make a point about learning irish (and I think it applies to language learning as a whole) Duolingo (especially the app, the website is better to be fair but not by much) shouldn't be your primary, or even secondary resource for language learning, it should be a supplement, like flash cards because that's basically what duolingo (Esp. the app) is. It's electronic flash cards, it's nice for vocabulary but horrible for learning grammar, it's yes or no, right or wrong, and language is more fluid than that.
In colloquial speak, if you get it more or less right, the speaker will probably get it, (especially with something as minor as séimhiú and urú which is the english equivalent to switching his/her/their, while duolingo will tell you a sentence is a complete bust if you replace gcat with chait with cat which contexually, speakers will fix themselves and probably won't even mention it to you. Not to mention language is fluid, speakers won't talk like a text book, they'll use conjunctions and phrases you dont know, they'll invent words on the fly.
You should always be learning from books, movies (Yu Ming is ainm dom or cáca milis for irish aimed at young children, an cailín ciúin for more general cinema), poetry (géibheann, an gnáthrud, etc.), music (Teir abhaile riú, oró sé do bheatha 'bhaile, an dreolín, etc.), tv (all of TG4, they have spongebob), RTE player is available for free online.
Buying an irish enlish dictionary, using focloir and teanglann, and reading grammar books will help, writing irish helps too because it makes you look up words you dont know. I had no idea how to use the subjunctive and imperative before, now i do.
All of the info i wrote about séimhiú's and urú's can be found with google, and all of my words of the day are on focloir and teanglann.
tl;dr, using only duolingo is going to give you more robotic speak that even textbook, your vocab will be kind of weird and hyper-specific (kinda like how only learning in a classroom only teaches you to speak about yourself and your family and nothing else). Read irish, write irish, live irish. Remember, you weren't taught your native tongue formally, 80% of what you learn comes from just picking up and talking to people, family, friends, teachers, and maybe 20% was taught in the first few years of school (and a lot of that is written/spelling anyway not actually communicating)
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reallemonmeat · 2 months ago
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this is an important thing i want to talk about. im mostly refering to Emesis Blue fandom here, but it goes for any fictional media. ‼️please read even if you don't like Emesis Blue this is a general important message‼️
sorry for the rant but. can we please stop using "split/multiple personality disorder" in the context of "i think this character has it because 2 evil sides. its his other personality coming out!". actually can we also stop using those names too? MPD as a name has been outdated since 1994.
like.. as someone with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, "MPD"s ACTUAL name.) it's so fucking heart breaking to see people still have this mindset in 2024. like please before you even let a disorder's name out of your mouth please actually research even a tiny bit. one little thing you say can be so harmful.
I should also state im specifically talking about those who don't have said disorder of course. for example, i as a person who is medically recognized as having DID like to headcanon Postal Dude with DID. i usually keep it to myself unless i go in full depth to make sure i am not demonizing it or misrepresenting it. (i do have a post explaining it on my alt. i use it to cope.) generally, i think if someone has said disorder and they headcanon even a villain or a bad person character with it, they are allowed to
the issue comes when people without this condition come into play, and dont even respect the topic a little bit. this is where i talk about Emesis Blue.
No guys, pills do NOT give you DID. DID only comes from repeated childhood trauma.
no, DID is NOT the "2 personalities 1 is evil" disorder.
i hate ever mentioning my disorder onto this specific blog but this is the only way ill reach people. please stop misrepresenting disorders, especially using their VERY OUTDATED names and views.
im bringing up emesis blue specifically because someone's art i REALLY liked did emesis blue art, and i was instantly met with this in their tags.
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please, this goes for ANY FICTIONAL MEDIA, please stop representing DID this way. it is super harmful.
please do not witch hunt people either. i know not everyone is gonna know every thing, or be up to date. i know people arent constantly researching disorders like i like doing, i just want people to know that these representations of us are super harmful and we need to stop them please.
thank you so much for reading. please reblog so more people see. im sorry for this on my main.
if you want to learn more about DID, i would recommend this site as a start. https://did-research.org/origin/structural_dissociation/
im also not FORCING YOU to research every little thing about disorders or at all, just please do not severely misrepresent them in such a harmful way.
thank you.
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lucabyte · 3 months ago
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ppl saying they look to my comics for inspiration and pointers on how to format things is WILDDDD to me (and delightful don't get me wrong!! i am overjoyed) because like. none of you are privvy to the absolute WAHHH I DONT WANNNAAA bitchfits i was *CONSISTANTLY* throwing every time i forced myself to make a comic before i got into isat. like no joke. i considered comics such a fucking difficult medium they always drained my drawing energy so hard because they always felt like they took sooo long and had so many moving parts and were so much harder than storyboards (WHICH I ALREADY STRUGGLED WITH) because you had to account for panel shape and speech bubbles and-- like you get it. but genuinely for real. the sheer amount that i complained whenever i clawed my way through drawing a comic (which thus! was not very fucking much!!) compounded by the fact that i *genuinely have trouble reading comics*. as in, i really struggle to parse the flow of contiguous movement or action between panels (possibly connected to the fact ive got mad aphantasia?) of even really well done best-of-the-best professional comics...
... BUT. basically. what im trying to get at is. if you wanna learn to draw comics, evidently you super can?! I genuinely *didnt* draw comics before drawing isat fanart! I have no idea what it was about ISAT fanart that made it finally click for me? (I think it was... not having to think about colour? Removing a step from the process really helped. Plus, it being fanwork meant I could just start en-medias-res and not have to think about setup... Trying to cram too much explanation and setup into my oc stuff was always a big hurdle too...)
I find them fast to do now! and damn if i dont value speed in art (<- impatient little fucker). its still going slowly on my oc comics.. mostly due to the colour again, i think. but it's not extremely, ecruciatingly difficult anymore. is what im saying. and im genuinely baffled by it every time i put pen to page. its fucked up. did you guys know that practice makes things easier? . fucking perverted if you ask me.
As for looking at other people's things for inspiration. if you want to know where I was looking when I was piecing together the first couple fancomics I did for ISAT i want to specifically point at . well besides everything rebecca sugar has ever done (for hands and facial expressions *especially*), the main person i really dug into the work of was Leo Fox (Website link). I feel like i wanna point people to the source of a lot of the inspiration for my more off-kilter panel choices so you all can get the full experience rather than through my regurgitated mimesis. I'm now at the point where i can wing panel layout so i wasn't in there for longgg but. everyone go add it to your knowledge banks as for SUBJECT MATTER aka why i am i so deranged. those are squarely the 2019 postcanon homestuck golden era bleeding through my CLENCHED BITTEN DOWN JAW. A BULL TERRIER ON YOUR BRACHIAL ARTERY. namely that @/floralmarsupial and @/tomatograter's works (no i am not tagging them . im shy) are things i go back to frequently and floralmarsupials pure black/white inktober comics were *especially* an inspiration. if you've been following me a few months you may remember me reblogging a bunch of their stuff from 2019~2021 for seemingly no reason. this was why. The narratively divorced reality of jade strider & Liminal Space are big in my mind here. I balk to call myself anywhere near as good as these but these are what i'm aiming for, tonally and quality-ways with it. also detective pony but ive mentioned that already and thats farrrr too inside baseball for this post.
BUT YEAH TL;DR: I DIDNT DRAW LIKE ANY COMICS UNTIL UHHHH LIKE, WHAT, LIKE 8 MONTHS AGO? JESUS. ANYWAY. THIS MEANS YOU 🫵🫵🫵 CAN DO IT TOO. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. DATTEBAYO!!!!
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