#not tagging all the characters i refuse
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the citizens of seabrook: why is it always something? like it's literally always fucking something....we can't go a week without there being something
#zombies#disney zombies#zombies 2#zombies 3#zombies: the re animated series#was gonna make this a text post but i didn't know how to include every character#so y'all get this instead#not tagging all the characters i refuse#and by citizens i mean everyone like the humans the zombies the werewolves (i guess the aliens too)#zombies incorrect quotes#disney zombies incorrect quotes#incorrect quotes
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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i have a problem
really long rambling in tags
#ive always liked him but i was in denial about it until i read the myspace stuff#it was then i realized i wasnt a fool for liking the stereotypical character#because he was rather prominent back in the day#he was one of the only when pizzas attack debutants important enough to be named. he had a myspace account.#in the development of pizzeria he was almost going to have something that people assume was similar to the blue ribbons#but as the focused shifted to gamerias his entire thing kind of became The Food Guy#to the point where theres a joke on the official blog posts about cupcakeria and donuteria of him wanting to order 4 cupcakes and 6 donuts#which is double the maximum amount#i don't really hate that hes The Food Guy (because i relate)#but some people are really mean spirited about it.#and i always used to think#there was no way to justify how upset that made me#because that was just how he is in the games. it was “true”#but like... some people think that's all he is and its not true at all#even if the gamerias make it seem like it is#god if i had a nickel for every time i liked a stereotypical character who had interesting details about them that no one knew about#bc most of the fandom refused to see them as anything but that stereotype#id have two nickels#i would like it to stay at that amount. anyways. id like to tag this properly now#papa louie#flipline studios#flipline big pauly#bluebay art
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something i promised on my kofi 6 months ago... 🫠
#sorry for people who has been asking for commission and finding me very unresponsive#literally i don't feel ready mentally ; i think the '6 months' is self-explanatory#frieren: beyond journey's end#fern#sousou no frieren#fanart#frieren at the funeral#actually it was 1.5 years ago; i was supposed to be drawing other character that time#but for 9 months i didn't manage to make myself sit down & finish it; so 6 months ago i re-asked if the person wanted other character#bcs i thought i need to re-start fresh & maybe the person's interest had changed#ko fi#when drawing for money sometimes u sit down & just stop 'working' entirely ; like ur will goes blue screen & refuse to do it#because it's / work / and u have to be more meticulous ; it gives u all the extra pressure#tho i like to have the money again.... but i'll start studying again soon; and i'll need to do my best on this one i think#drawing has always been a distraction on my study so maybe it is a good thing if my drawing drive dies down for a good while#tho not drawing at all also stress me out; finger crossed for good life balance#I CAN'T BELIEVE POPULAR TAG SHOWING THAT PEOPLE ALSO KNOW IT AS 'FRIEREN AT THE FUNERAL'. THAT SOUNDS WAY TOOOO DEPRESSINGGGG.....😭😭😭😭
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The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field
It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work
and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you
your work is trivialized
and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over
or when your complaints are dismissed
and you get more of the same from upper management
it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day
It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity
The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again
(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)
Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off
#(I want to note that I am coming at this from my personal experience as a woman#but I know femme neurodivergent and disabled folks of all genders face these same issues)#along similar lines I have tons of feelings about how often Aziraphale hides his hands when talking to other angels#to hide his stimming#and look I try not to tie everything back to explaning why Aziraphale ended s2 the way he did but apparently I can't#its just the juiciest character moment to me#also thinking about how angry Crowley was at Gabriel when he was treated like this once#granted shut up and die already IS the worst thing Gabriel has said to Aziraphale but if Crowley knew how much of this was going on...#aziraphale#good omens#go2 spoilers#good omens meta#Thanks to folks who responded to my tags on that post because you really motivated me to find these screen caps#and finish this post which has been sitting in my drafts for ages#also sorry so many of gabriels faces are funny I cant help that jon hamm is comedy gold - i refuse to let it undermine my point
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Once upon a time…..
#d20#dimension20 neverafter#dimension 20#neverafter#neverafter fanart#princess rosamund du prix#prince gerard of greenleigh#ylfa snorgelsson#mother timothy goose#pib#pinnochio#my art sketch#spoilers in the tags#if they show up next episode having all new characters i will refuse to love a single one#also being a Gerard girl is so hard because I find him so hard to draw#sob
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I am going to say that what Arya Stark needs is salwar kameez (for the lack of a better word). People go on and on and on about her not liking dresses. And truly she doesn't like it when they hinder her from doing what she wants. But we do see her in Braavos. She isn't constantly complaining about her dress while selling oysters or working as an apprentice under Izembaro. Like i am a bit frustrated that there is nothing to imagination in a fantasy series when it comes to costuming. I am not saying to appropriate a dress, but the inspiration to fashion for make a believe world is so limited when it comes to Hollywood. And I am sitting here and thinking...
Like do you see the pants?
Arya and dresses and pretty frilly things won't ever really comfortably mash but to see fandom people and actual GoT costume designers going from rags to bland boiled leather when she is a princess. Even during celebration where she is being celebrated...😭😭😭😭😭😭 like you know Michelle Clapton spent so little time on Arya's costumes and excused it with "oh Arya is not like other girls!"
#Arya stark#I am going to put this in#valyrianscrolls#tag because I need people to see#so many people have so much to say about gender and it's beautiful#but so much of it is connected to what dresses Arya wore or refused to wear and like I am sitting here and looking around and I am like...#okay :)#like people used to gif deepika aka mastani with a sword from bajirao mastani as elia of dorne#Because of course elia famously handled swords :)) but they don't see what deepika wore and why she wore it and how much movement it allows#it is all about the aesthetic for characters they think have the brown flavour#asoiaf
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marching forward through the Gates of Hell
#code geass#suzalulu#code geass lelouch of the rebellion#lelouch vi britannia#suzaku kururugi#lelouch lamperouge#god....tagging lelouch is literally so annoying#cg wld have been great if CLAMP said 'damn sunrise u comm us for our art style but cant animate for shit. hbu let us draw it instead#like deadass hwo u go out of ur way to ask CLAMP for designs then animate them AWFULLY BRO!!!!#i love love the character sheets they r beautifully done#all the offical art by CLAMP is stunning too but the anime is like. mf have nvr drawn in their lives I think....#esp Lelouch like CLAMP's art of him its like ooh yeh ofc he gets bitches. then u watch the anime n ur like ain't no way...#whatever anyw this is inspired by a CLAMP illustration where they wear these suits.#i tried to use very desat colors but. idk. also they look wonky but idk call me Sunrise Animation I refuse to do lineart nowadays#listened to TONS of old Coldplay thats the vibe I'm going for...#i love toxic star crossed lovers....latina sterotype 1 : me 0
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Lots of things
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so I’m about a third of the way into A Stitch In Time and I just have so many thoughts.
this is unexpectedly one of the most fascinating books I have ever read, because the circumstances of its existence (tie-in novel for established tv show, written by the actor, largely taken from his character-dev writing) create a novel that would’ve never existed otherwise.
in any other normal novel, the protagonist with a sad childhood who gets shipped off to train to be a weapon of the state, in a violent, loveless institution, would be… taking a stand against the status quo! that’s what protagonists do, they make unlikely friends and they stand up for what’s right and they change their world etc etc. yahoo. yay !
but as we good and goddamn know: garak’s not a protagonist
these flashback portions follow so many classic sf/f coming of age tropes of a young lad finding himself in a harsh new world, but instead of the main character being guided by a convenient moral compass and growing in defiance of the competitive, cruel environment– garak adapts, learns to outcompete his peers, learns to be crueler.
it’s not so much that you’re reading garak becoming worse (though he is, for sure)
it’s more that garak is drifting from being a mere product of his environment, to a perpetuator of it
#a stitch in time#ds9#garak#elim garak#I keep referring to the bamarren institute as h*gwarts with the abuse and dead dove tags#trust when I say that garak is my blorbo what I really mean is that the complexities of this character refuse to be sanded down#he IS all of the above#he IS that girl#good night#star trek
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Alright I feel like my problem with the Eustace Winner name (Sebastian my boy I'm so sorry) is that he's a really major character with depth and development.
From the start AA has had really stupid pun names and I loved them. April May, Redd White? I thought those were the best when I was playing ace attorney for the first time.
But characters who were actually important -- Phoenix, Maya, Edgeworth, von Karma, I could be wrong but their names aren't as stupid of puns as Redd White or my beloved Detective Detective Detective (love you gumshoe). I mean, Wright is literally just a play on right, but it's not a phrase, like I feel Eustace Winner (Useless Winner?) Is supposed to be. And Phoenix is a reference to his nature, how he "rises from the ashes", it's about his general overall character and doesn't feel like a mean joke. To me, naming Sebastian Eustace Winner is like if Edgeworth was named Meenin Evil so you know he's a bad guy when you meet him.
Poor Sebastian though, he has a LOT that happens (I never finished aai2 actually but I want to give him a hug and a mug of hot chocolate), hes a very important character, and it feels like they gave him a side character name? When he has a lot more importance to the story than just one case
#ace attorney#ace attorney investigations#sebastian debeste#sorry. not tagging him as eustace winner. it may be silly but this is a hill i will die on#I also feel like the name doesnt really understand the character well?#it feels like its a joke about “he thinks hes so great when actually he's a loser but he refuses to acknowledge it”#which is how hes characterized at first#but then later it turns out he struggles with his self esteem and self worth. a lot#so to me it feels like we're pointing at the kid who feels so absolutely dumb and useless#and going LOOK HES SO STUPID. HE THINKS HES SO GOOD#i mean this all fairly light hearted by the way. if you love the name Eustace Winner then by all means play the game and enjoy it
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Natlan Edits + Icons
nobody requested, self indulgent. we did these edits when the trailer came out, but we're posting them now. remember to sign this petition and don't spend any money on genshin, honkai or zzz.
feel free to use with credit as long as you aren't on our dni, but don't claim as your own! like/reblog if you save or enjoy. and don't start arguments on this post.
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin edit#natlan characters#natlan#honestly i refuse to tag them all especially since some of their names are literal names of gods#icons#genshin icons#icon edit#edit#fandom edit#edit blog#[our edits]#[moondust]
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Ahh the escapism of drawing my silly guys
#de-stressing for me looks like drawing my boys and shuffling the decemberists entire discography for about two-three hours#shoutout severed specifically can’t believe that song is relevant AGAIN#my ochem professor has the AUDACITY to make an exam THIS WEEK OF ALL WEEKS#hey Mr awful ochem professor some of us have a Lot Of Other Things to worry about right now :D#MY RIGHTS AS A HUMAN BEING HAVE BEEN UP FOR DEBATE I DO NOT CARE ABOUT CYCLOHEXANE CHAIR CONFORMATIONS.#haha anyways#I can’t decide if I want to give Finn glasses or not#the lore I have is that he needs glasses but always forgets to wear them/refuses to admit he needs them#my art#digital art#procreate#artists on tumblr#digital illustration#illustration#original art#my ocs#doodle#art#drawing#artwork#oc#original character#original character art#oc art tag#oc art#digital artist#oc artist#oc artwork#digital doodle
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i see some people on tiktok and twitter acting like gojo not getting memorialized is the only logical conclusion to his arc to either
1) symbolize how no one really understood him and/or could reach him or
2) he shouldn’t be an exception and no other sorcerer got a funeral/memorial either, that’s just how sorcerer society is
and while i firmly believe there is no objectively correct way to end a story, the attitude some of those fans are showing trying to act like everyone who wanted something different is less media literate than they are is annoying me so time to bring up reasonable counters to those arguments:
on 1): complete understanding isn’t a prerequisite for affection and/or grief. Multiple characters (Yuji, Yuta and Shoko at the very least) are shown to have some amount of care for him and them wanting to lay his body to rest, or at least offhandedly mentioning that it was done does not contradict their lack of complete understanding of him in any way. Yuji himself says that he will never forget Gojo (Yuji is also arguably the only character really given closure about Gojo’s death in the story through that flashback (with the exception of Satoru Gojo (hehe see what i did there) and the other deceased characters in 236)
In fact, one could argue that them not fully understanding that Gojo wanted everyone to move on from him and “forget” him would have been reinforced by them grieving him
(I don’t personally think that them processing his loss in a healthy way (read, all the studies about how funerary rites are important to a healthy grieving process) would be contradictory to his wish but since people want to argue that that’s why it was done i think it’s fair to bring up the counter)
on 2) this could easily be solved by having the characters honor all of the recently deceased. (Nanami, Yuki, Choso (what better way to mark him accepting his human side like Yuki told him to)) People keep bringing up how none of the sorcerers got a funeral (as well as Todo’s speech in Shibuya about how they live in through their comrades) and while that is correct (in fact, Todo’s speech represents the whole reason why the last couple chapters are named after Gojo’s dream of a reformed jujutsu society, a dream that his students are now carrying out for him, one of the main issues with traditional jujutsu society (and consequently one of the reasons that lead do Geto’s defection and the formation of Gojo’s dream) is the fact that sorcerer lives are treated as expendable, the fact that sorcerers aren’t given the time and support they need to process the trauma they are put through on their missions.
Part of letting the kids experience their youth is also giving them healthy coping mechanisms and while i am not someone who believes that every character needs a “therapy” ending (hence why i’ve been yelling about not wanting Gojo (who is satisfied with his own death and afterlife) to come back to life to un-learn all of his unhealthy coping mechanisms and his (partially self imposed) isolation as the strongest) i do think getting time to acknowledge and process their losses is part of that.
(Looking at Megumi especially, he might have kept distance between himself and Gojo, and fanon portrayal of their relationship often makes it deeper than it is in canon, but Gojo was still the most consistent adult mentor figure he had in his life, and he experienced Sukuna killing him with his body, a letter isn’t gonna cut it i’m afraid… Megumi’s character arc in general is one people are criticizing and i do to some degree agree that while him freeing himself from Tsumiki specifically being his sole motivation is something, him immediately finding new people (Yuji and Hana, the latter for guilt reasons) to base his reason for living on is a bit… but that’s part of characters not needing to have a perfect therapy ending i guess…
people like to bring up that Nanami, who has been dead for a while now, was also never shown getting a funeral but characters were shown processing his death once the fight was over, both through the conversation between Gojo, Shoko and Ijichi and through Ino requesting and using his weapon in the fight against Sukuna. Yaga’s death was also discussed between Gojo and Gakuganji (changing his conservative outlook) as well as as a motivator for Kusakabe
While Yuji was definitely shown processing Gojo’s death (in chapter 265 and 271) the characters i personally would have liked to see processing/commenting on Gojo’s death the most are Yuta and Shoko,
Yuta for “i will share the mantle of becoming a Monster to take some of the load of Gojo-sensei” reasons (all this talk about how concerned everyone was about what it would mean for his humanity to have to take over Gojo’s body and then we don’t get a single panel about how he actually felt about it after the fact)
and Shoko because we get all these glimpses of her caring about him in her own way (most notably the “i was there too, wasn’t i” moment as well as her stress smoking during his fight against Sukuna, and in a way still being his closest and oldest confidant, even if they never connected the way he did with geto (hence why he felt comfortable leaving the letters for Nobara and Megumi to her, as well as being the reason why he was a little miffed at her lack of reaction to the body-switching plan). Shoko isn’t an emotional character, she is very desensitized to the death and injury of people around her, but the scene by Tsumiki’s grave and her comment about Geto’s body confirms that she (to some degree) considers it an honor and a privilege to be able to give them post-mortem care. I never wanted a scene of her crying over his body or anything, but a scene of her standing by his grave (which could have been inserted between the Tsumiki grave scene and the panel of her throwing away her cigarettes) would have done enough for me.
People like to make fun of everyone asking for a funeral by saying “sorry y’all didn’t get a ten page funeral with everyone crying about Gojo”, but personally i would have been happy with a single panel showing his grave/ossuary with an epitaph (possibly the same for Geto so we finally get confirmation that Gojo’s (and the Hasaba twins’) wish of having his body put to rest was fulfilled, especially after those panels in 270 sowed more doubts), maybe a couple extra panels of the characters i mentioned earlier
also not to be extra brain rotten stsg but Gojo being put to rest in a way where he is with suguru (Shoko being the person most likely to make those arrangements for both of them and also being the person who knew how much they meant to eachother the best) or him being memorialized together with everyone else who fell in those past couple months would symbolize that while he might have been lonely in life, he is not lonely in death (just like he wasn’t lonely anymore in the airport scene in 236)
what i haven’t seen people bring up much is that sorcerers as a whole are said not to be religious. Despite the heavy buddhist themes in the story, sorcerer society as a whole is described as secular, something pointed out by the chairman of the star religious group. On the world building front i think it would have been interesting to know how they process their dead, past the general vague description of “shoko handling bodies” and “having to make sure the body can’t be misused/the sorcerer won’t turn into a curse after death”. Maybe that’s my little goth heart but i really would have liked to know, we see people end up in the morgue but no one really knows what happens after that. Maybe everyone (whose body can be recovered) is cremated and disposed of in some unknown location (Greek cemeteries have “bone digesters”, big pits where bones are put if the family doesn’t rent an ossuary/claim the remains after the lease on the grave plot is up, maybe it’s something like that), maybe there are ossuaries like the one pictured in the Shibuya OP (it’s still unclear to me how much input Gege had in those), maybe the cremated remains are given back to the family on a case by case basis (especially for people from non-sorcerer families who might have religious beliefs). Either way, it’s something i think would have been interesting to know, plus lack of big funerary rites doesn’t really mean the characters can’t think of/mention their deceased comrades.
now i’m not saying everyone who has a different opinion on this is wrong, again, that’s not the approach i like to bring to media analysis/commentary, in fact this whole rant is prompted by my distaste for people doing that, but that is what i personally would have liked to see to call this a 10/10 ending for ME
#well this rant turned out longer than most#all typos in this post are brought to you by yours truly and my refusal to proof read anything#rainbone/the sound of their own voice#jjk meta#jjk 271#jjk ending spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk finale#jjk ending#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#yuta okkotsu#okkotsu yuta#shoko ieiri#ieiri shoko#gojo & everyone#death in jjk#death in fiction#one last time#gege give me the satosugu funeral and my life is yours#it’s real in my head even if it never happened on the page#i’ve been using the tag#yes satoru gojo is one of my favorite jjk characters yes i need to see this man dead and buried (or cremated as the case may be…)#and i still stand by that now that i got it
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i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)
(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)
listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:
i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.
i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.
bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.
he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.
he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want
and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.
and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode
and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.
like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.
like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.
i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.
i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn
#my post#gravity falls#billford#// abuse ment#abuse tw#<- i dont really know the tags to use so if anyone sees this and feels that i didnt do enough. i can add more#long post#BY THE WAY THIS IS NOT A BILL HATE POST IF THAT EVEN MAKES SENSE#like fuck that dude for being so fucked up but also hes still such a fascinating and honestly fun character.#hes not a real person so its not like im being like 'oh but hes so charming so idc that he did all that'#like i very much care that he did all that but hes also. still just a fictional character#and yet again i repeat the sentiment: holy fuck i cant believe disney approved this book#they really said. 'this is one of our most beloved non-movie franchises#the creator wants to write another book in the series but this time its for mature audiences#and hes going to write out how the beloved villain of the show and one of the most important and beloved characters are in a deeply abusive#relationship. this is now an approved part of the disney brand!'#again i dont disapprove. i think this is a great addition.#but im so shocked that this was approved by 'the owl house doesnt fit our brand' disney.#i still refuse to stop believing that disney was just being homophobic about the owl house btw idc what anyone says#also no i wont go into detail on how i relate. but the connections are there and its.. wow.
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