#not surprised that they also don’t respect their characters canon sexualities

[sapphicstoria]

So, I just found out there are people who ship angel dust and Vaggie… that is a gay man and a lesbian, what…. 😭

[pigdemonart]

Battle Subway Depot Agents (by pig-demon)

When I made designs for these guys last year I didn’t really think they needed colored references/master post, but since then I’ve drawn them a lot! Also people have added them to their fanfics and drawn fanart! So I figured it was time I made a post for easy ref. :]

These designs are obviously free to use, just give credit (and link me your work if you're comfortable, because it makes me happy to see!) All I request is to stay respectful to their pronouns and skin colors, ya knooow… 👍 note: The pokemon on their cards are all companions, not the ones they use on the Battle Subway. Except Jackie...the litwicks are just there to fill space/give them company.

More info under cut:

Edit: Important disclaimer:

These are again my designs/interpretations for the agents. Please don’t treat them as canon or as the only, quintessential designs for these literal background npcs. Many people have done takes on them before and after me, even back in 2010. It feels silly to ask, but due to past experience, I ask that you please DONT hunt down anyone that does a different take on the depot agents!! 👍

Tags:

I'm gonna start tagging them individually, but for now all Depot Agent comics and art on this blog are tagged under Depot Agents.

Height chart:

I’m not too strict about heights, so I don’t really care about actual measurements. Here’s an approximation of what I tend to visualize though:

Sexualities/Gender Identities: I don't have official labels for each and every agent because I like keeping things fluid for characters to develop these traits on their own. However, as a queer person, I enjoy designing characters who are also queer, therefore I can safely say none of these characters are straight. The ones who are set in stone are Ramses (gay man), Cloud (lesbian woman,) Jackie (non-binary.) Furze uses he/they pronouns but their gender is undetermined. I also welcome anyone giving the agents a different gender identity to suit them (as long as it's done respectfully.)

Notes about each agent...

Cameron:

- Cameron dyes parts of his hair blonde and keeps other parts in black. This is because he is a big fan of Elesa and her fashion choices.  - Though there have been a few occasions to meet his idol, he is always way too nervous to approach her, feeling deep down that he'll mess up somehow. - He practices modeling poses in secret. He loves flourishes and flare, but is simply too insecure to put it on display. - Of his coworkers, he gets along the best with Furze. He's the easiest to talk to because Furze will do most of the talking. - Cameron is easily intimidated — even mean Pokémon can make him nervous. Though, his two worst fears are being left in a room alone with Jackie, and being left alone in a room with Isadore. - He takes advantage of his height to sometimes hide behind some of his coworkers. - Cameron is much better at Pokémon battles than he gives himself credit for. Emmet and Ingo were pleasantly surprised by this, since Cameron was promoted to fit a temporary role on the Battle Subway. They happily made him a permanent member when he proved himself capable. - His Dwebble (Pebby) is secretly very strong, and rushes to protect Cameron when it can. Cam sometimes thinks Pebby helps him feel more confident in himself too.  - If he stumbled into any of his coworkers outside of work, he would simply explode of embarrassment. - He is the youngest child and only son of his family. He lives in his own apartment in Nimbasa.

Cloud:

- Cloud (like Ramses) knew the twins when they were very young. - She used to be an ace trainer in her youth, even going so far to compete in the Pokémon league. Winning and becoming the champ was the most important part of her journey, but something happened along the way that changed that outlook. - It seems with age, her competitiveness has mellowed out. However, she maintains an intense energy when battling.  - Her favorite types are Psychic and Flying types. Swoobat (Sweetie) is her ace.  - Her favorite hobby is baking, and she often bakes sweets for the crew. She knows all their favorite flavors by now! - She prioritizes keeping a friendly relationship with all her coworkers and thinks of them fondly. She considers Ramses family after all the years of working together!  - She is a big fan of Brycen's movies and can recite the lines. - She lives with her wife in Anville. - Cloud loves doing maintenance work both at home and in Gear Station. She enjoys bringing her own tools and industrial flashlight.

Furze:

- Furze only has one volume setting (mid loud,) but he finds himself feeling right at home when talking to either one of the twins. - Furze has ADHD, and this is reflected in some of his habits, most visibly is his fidgeting when sitting still for too long. - He rides a bike to work every day. When he is late, Cloud clocks in for him so he doesn't get in trouble. - This is a kind of a guy that sits crouched gargoyle style on chairs. Only outside of work, of course. Bad posture could get him in trouble. - While working on the Battle Subway, there will be times Furze feels sorry for his opponents and offers to quietly let them pass anyways. This...has also gotten him in trouble. :[ - He went to the same elementary school as Isadore in Castelia. Though Isadore seems to have forgotten their short-lived acquaintance, Furze has not. This is part of the reason Furze claims they are in fact good friends!!! - Furze is the middle child of a big family. He lives with his mom and takes care of her, along with his many Darumakas and Darmanitan. All of his Pokemon have famous trains names. - He collects model trains. Naturally.

Isadore

- Isadore had plans to become the station master the moment he was hired as a depot agent, but alas... (sad trumpet sound.) - As a youth, he was more interested in science and engineering over Pokemon battles. He enjoys the strategizing aspect, at most. Not so much the competitiveness. - In addition, his Pokemon are all rescues and not used for battling. He's had his Watchog (Winston) since he was in his late teens. - His Electrode (Gregor) and Voltorb (Leonard) were rescued from the likes of Team Plasma. - Isadore admits he understands Pokemon better than humans. This has been apparent his whole life. - In spite of acting like a sitcom villain, Isadore cares about the management of Gear Station and the safety of the passengers to an incredible degree. He sees it as a personal life goal to assist in the management of Gear Station, as well as the success of the Battle Subway. - Though it pained him to become a subordinate to the twins, he begrudgingly accepts it for the greater good. - His almost militant efficiency certainly made up for his years of antagonizing the twins before they became the bosses. Ingo and Emmet understand this better than anyone. - Isadore keeps tabs on all of the staff members. So he very well knows all their birthdays and makes it a point to celebrate it. This is by no means a -happy- or -festive- event. It's just customary. - Like Furze, he was originally from Castelia, but now resides in Nimbasa. Isadore's only family is his mom and she lives in his childhood home with their Stoutland. - Isadore would have probably been voiced by every glasses guy ever J. Michael Tatum had he not already been cast as dear Emmet lmao

Jackie

- Jackie is a mystery and they like keeping it that way. When they talk, it's practically impossible to determine what is a lie or truth, especially if the subject is themselves or their background. - They love scaring Cameron the most and will ask to be paired with him whenever possible. They claim Cameron is their "favorite coworker," while Isadore is the least favorite. - It's plain to see why -- Jackie is the only one that doesn't passively tolerate Isadore's tirades. - Though my comics sometimes may allude to Jackie being a ghost/supernatural, this is not confirmed nor canon. I just personally enjoy toying with the concept. : ) That being said...

- Item #: SCP 7453

- Object Class: Euclid

- Special Containment Procedures: The ████ ██████ is ██████ within ████-██████. - Ingo and Emmet choose to not question anything about Jackie, since it's clear they're one of the more efficient workers. However it can be a safety concern... - Cloud and Ramses have worked with Jackie for a long time, though they've forgotten somehow. They believe Jackie is a new hire since they appear to be young. - Anyone trying to make sense of Jackie's employee records simply can't bring themselves to any conclusions. It's better to ignore the inconsistencies. - Jackie has never been seen to leave Gear Station. Jackie has never been seen in anything but their uniform. Jackie has never been confirmed to eat, drink or blink. Jackie knows your secrets. Jackie thinks it's... amusing.

Ramses

- Ramses sometimes misses having a full head of hair, but he thinks his signs of age make him look distinguished. (he is correct.) - Ramses is sort of the "mom friend," making sure everyone's concerns are heard, as well as trying to keep the peace whenever a conflict might arise. - If another coworker is feeling low, Ramses will try to cheer them up with a lighthearted joke or offer advice if they'd like it. - When the twins were promoted to bosses of the Battle Subway, Ramses cried because he felt so proud. - In most circumstances, he is a very simple and logical man. He is quick to find solutions and tries not to fret over the little stuff. It's not good for his heart after all. - His ace is his Pikachu (Musa,) though the mouse is more of a lap pet now. At home, he also has an Audino (Sara) and a Manectric (Nubi) who keep Ramses' husband company. His Klinklang (Moli) is the only one of his personal pokemon that accompany him to work nowadays. - Ramses considers Cloud family. They are best friends and love having family gatherings outside of work. They also gossip a lot, and don't mind when Jackie decides to join. - Ramses jokes about looking forward to retirement, but really doesn't want to leave until he is physically incapable of working anymore. Gear Station is like a second home to him.

In-Game Quotes

The most important reference of all are their in-game quotes, of course, so I'm adding it to the post. A lot of their personality traits can be extracted and interpreted from these few lines. And I personally love that about Pokemon NPCs -- there's a lot of room to explore and play with. Some appear very obvious. Cameron practically announces that he isn't ready for the battle that's about to ensue and seems genuinely surprised to win. Furze comes out the gate talking about the subject they actually care about, which is their job and their love for trains. The two of them are very easy to understand. Now, Ramses lines allude to a gentle and simple personality. He views himself with humility, and maybe even with a bit of humor comparing himself to a train and to his opponent to a station. If he loses he shows no signs of disappointment, he just accepts defeat with one last honest quip. It s also amusing to see the Depot Agents all use train metaphors to describe themselves since it falls in line with how Ingo and Emmet talk.

In comparison, Cloud does the same thing calling herself the terminal instead. Immediately, she is way more daring, though still keeping a sense of professionalism. To me, it's obvious she is competitive as she even admits she was expecting to win ("Ah...I didn't see it coming.") Jackie's lines are fun since it's up to interpretation if they are being literal or lying. It's almost like they are more interested in confusing/creeping out their opponent than actually beating them. To me, it gives off a mischievous vibe. Isadore's opener "There are only two roads in life." is a curious one because it almost feels like he is trying to be philosophical. Definitely a guy who views himself as an intellectual, regardless if that’s true or not. I like to think it's a saying he really believes in, and it applies to his life. The road he likes (long route) vs the road he hates (shortcut) -- fighting tooth and nail to become boss vs biting his tongue and accepting Ingo and Emmet as the Subway Masters.

Those are just my thoughts on how I write these characters. Please have fun playing with these lines too!

[matamorose]

The decision in TP to drop any interaction between Audrey and Coop was a bad one. I think that their dynamic is a great way to refract a lot of the themes of the show, and it has a lot to do with TP’s multiple ways of viewing “good people.” (Something I’ve been stewing about for a while— hopefully soon I can articulate some of those thoughts)

Anyway,

Audrey is a great character, and it makes perfect sense for her to be intrigued by/attracted to a kind, handsome older man. She’s also badly neglected, and models the ways of gaining power + autonomy + attention that she sees in front of her, something that puts her in danger and is in no way a good thing. I get that all the characters’ ages/the timelines are fucked so there’s some ambiguous wiggle room, but she’s a kid. A very smart and resourceful one who wants to be the mysterious and competent adult that others see as a person, but still.

She wants Coop something fierce, and gets herself into intense peril pursuing that. She's tenacious and smart and badly damaged, and a teenage girl who's ignored + allowed to do whatever she wants, which is a very potent combination.

And Coop is textually attracted to her: I think that that’s very important to understanding a lot of his character, and ignoring it does a disservice to a lot of what the show is saying. MLMT does a lot of heavy lifting to explain and explore a history of childhood sexual misuse + hypersexuality with him, but even in just the show canon I think it’s very apparent and easy to understand that he’s grappling with his attitudes and attraction towards women, and especially with his own past and traumas.

The scene where Audrey surprises him naked in bed had the potential to be the fulcrum moment in their relationship, imo. Cooper is visibly wrestling with his attraction to her— something he knows and expresses aloud would be very wrong to act on— and Audrey is in an extremely fragile state, for all that she was trying to be assertive and take control in a relationship with an older man (a cop, even).

When Cooper lets her down gently and says that what she needs is a friend, that’s a very powerful moment. This is the “adult men sexually abuse young girls” show, but their relationship in particular has been set up to be interesting and alluring— I don’t think that people are nuts for picking up on the very intentional tension. It’s there, you’re supposed to see it.

So when Cooper says that she needs a friend, he makes the right choice, something that he doesn’t have a great track record of doing.

It’s a really powerful thing, that surrounded by all of these men who choose wrongly, and do wrong intentionally, Cooper is maybe the only adult man in Audrey’s life who makes the choice to respect and protect her, and that’s profoundly compelling. Like, I get it if someone wants to take that in another direction.

(There’s a more specific point to be made about Audrey’s father very nearly sexually assaulting her, and another, older man who is into her consciously deciding not to act on that, but I’ll toss it around and try to express it later)

You can debate it all day— which can be interesting and enriching— but for him to enter into a relationship with her would have been a clear, gross abuse of his power, and followed the pattern set by all of the other monstrous men in the show.

TP makes its stance on adult men sleeping with teenage girls crystal clear, there’s no way that they would have had their main character— morally iffy though he can be sometimes— go to bed with the teenage peer of a murder victim and then be like “awesome!” Cooper would be a very different man if he acted on it.

Which, I think is one of those moments where you as the viewer are supposed to look past the aesthetics and how pretty both adult actors are, the same way we all need to look past the quality of the coffee to understand what happened to Laura: a federal agent in his 30s who picks up a rural, neglected teenage lover in the wake of a grisly sex crime + said teenager’s father is a major player in the crime ring that allowed that to happen, is not a good man. That is a real-life horror that follows the framework of the show, and I think that part of the original intention was to leave that avenue open for later in the series, but more on that later.

All that being said, he absolutely thinks about it. He’s very tempted. That’s something that I feel like a lot of people don’t want to admit, but he’s explicitly attracted to her. It’s a testament to his character, and an interesting mirror to his ultimate failure of courage, that he, mister "Give Yourself a Present," was able to recognize a desire as harmful and squash it.

He’s less interesting if you just wave your hand and say “oh, he never even thought about it!” He did. He totally thought about it, he considered it, and wrestled with it, and ultimately came out on top. That’s infinitely more interesting— and IMO fits in better with the backstory established for him— than the idea that he’s just too morally pure and untouchable.

Even so, he elects not to do something that will harm her, and chooses to be her friend instead, something that she badly needs. That scene easily could have transitioned them from a very unequal “will-she-won’t-he” to a friendship that would benefit both of them, and give the characters some more room to flex + explore the facets of their similarities/their links to Laura and what they share with her.

Cooper sees Audrey, instead of blindly buying into her adolescent facade, or just looking past her. Even many of the angles their scenes are shot with reinforce that. He doesn’t ignore her.

I think that all of that goes into making their relationship extremely compelling, and, in my opinion, totally dropping that relationship after a point was just shitty writing. The whole weight of his choice to be her friend and to do right by her + her choice to accept that disappears when the show just truncates that entire plot line and dynamic. She needed that friend, needed and accepted what he was willing to offer her! Not to get shuffled off to the side and into a somewhat baffling plot line

(And if the show had gone on longer, or gone a different direction, I think that that would have been the avenue they chose to hammer in to viewers that as sexy as it sounded to a teenager, this is a bad thing, and that Coop was letting hangovers from past trauma/abuse get the better of him— something that is also very thematically appropriate. In a S3 that never was, I think it’s likely that possessed Coop/his doppelgänger/whatever direction they would have gone in the 90s would have attacked or initiated a relationship with her. TPTR alludes to this, I think, with Mr. C’s fathering Richard.)

I understand that there were tensions on set, and actors/execs had very strong opinions, but I do think that the “okay ew that’s over now” way that the show chops off a major undercurrent is badly done, and that the show is poorer for it.

Anyway, that relationship is one that really bugs me in how it developed in the show. Let me be clear that this is absolutely not an anti-ship post: do as thou wilt, have fun whatever I’m not here to pick a fight, and I really don’t care what other people ship. What strangers want to do with two fictional characters isn’t really my business.

But I don’t think that people are making something out of nothing, there, even if I have a much different stance on it. I think I’ve made my opinion of that relationship as romantic pretty clear at this point, but I have eyes and understand when you’re supposed to pick up on tension between characters.

I think that many people try far too hard to pretend that something very explicitly onscreen isn’t there, because they don’t want to wrestle with the thornier parts of it. (For a show that centers around a child being raped and murdered by her father, a great many watchers get surprisingly precious about unpleasant or even gray subjects, it seems to me.)

But I think it’s a shame that one of the most interesting relationships in the show got cut off so severely, and it’s really interesting to think of how they might have followed through on the punch, had there been fewer disasters surrounding the series.

I went on a little longer than I meant to about the idea of the pair of them as a romantic item, and that’s not the major point of this. Really, it’s that I think both characters lost out on that could have developed into something really compelling, because the bones were there. The setup was very strong, and the scene I talked about above absolutely could have transitioned those two into something, anything, more narratively satisfying and interesting than what we got.

I really like both of them, and I think that there’s a tendency to swing wildly one way or the other with Audrey. She’s much more nuanced than I think a lot of people give her credit for (which in fairness is something that afflicts basically all of the teenage characters, not to mention dear Dale), and there’s a place to think about her in-between outright fetishism a la coquette blogs, and pretending like she has no agency or desire/that her neglect has no impact on what she wants and how badly she’s willing to fight to get it.

She’s a major character in the show for a while, and I don’t like it that A) her character gets sidelined so abruptly B) many people in fandom go out of their way to minimize her role in the story. She’s not even one of my big favorites, I just think that she gets a raw deal.

My favorite thing about the show is the deep and knotted relationships, and I think that there was a warm-up swing and a really big miss with this one.

[lizzie-queenofmeigas]

if green team stans are r*p* apologists (aegon), as team black keeps saying, then these very same people are apologists of violence against women (daemon).

This made me laugh - most TB are not Daemon apologists at all because we have actually accepted his characters flaws and do not try to seperate them from his character or make up bullshit headcanons about him. TB don’t try to defend Daemon using violence or justify it - at most people are annoyed about the scene because there was no indication in the book that he was ever violent toward Rhaenyra in particular but, as for the scene itself, again, I’ve not seen anyone in TB trying to justify or defend his actions. Most have (very reluctantly) accepted it and moved on.

Greencels on the other hand when it comes to Aegon… Greencels claim

- they didn’t see it so, it might not have happened.

- claims that Aegon doesn’t understand consent therefore it’s not really rape.

- claiming it’s not in the book (when it’s clearly implied that he sexually harassed the women in the keep).

- “we didn’t aegon’s side so, we don’t know what really happened”.

It goes on and on, Greencels will go to the ends of the earth to justify/completely dismiss a canonical rapist character being a rapist.

So, no, we’re not apologists of violence against women because we have actually acknowledged Daemon’s actions as being wrong and condemn it and that is the difference between TB fans and Greencels.

—

Also of that post — why does it not surprise me that we have yet another “b-b-but daemon” person when their faves are criticised lmao

They only have Daemon to equate to all of their favs being terrible and having zero redeeming qualities. And even Daemon is not as bad as Aegon and Aemond, specially not in the book.

The Greens just don't accept who their faves are. The ones that do have my respect.

[saphira-approves]

Alright buckle up y’all, I’ve got a book series recommendation and propaganda under the cut for any fans of the Inheritance Cycle.

If you read our beloved farmboy-turned-dragon-rider books and had a particular fondness for: the idea of an order of individuals chosen to be both partner and rider to powerful and beautiful magical creatures; Snowfire; an immortal evil that resurfaces in disguised and unexpected forms (specifically referencing the Draumar cult which we now know had influence in Galbatorix’s rise to power); and/or the juicy juicy drama of complicated parent-child relationships, then oh boy do I have a recommendation for you.

Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar series, comprising of many, MANY individuals novels, trilogies, and short story anthologies. I don’t currently have a count for the exact total of published books, as I’ve been getting most of these from my local secondhand bookstore, but she’s been publishing these books since 1987 and is still writing them today in 2024.

Since this is such a huge collection, it can be hard to know where to start, so first of all I’d like to assure you that you can start pretty much anywhere, with any of the individual novels or series, so long as you make sure to find the first installment of that series. Personally I started with The Black Gryphon, which seems to be one of the chronologically earliest books; Arrows of the Queen of the Heralds of Valdemar trilogy would also be a good place to start, being the first published Valdemar book, though I haven’t actually read it yet—I only just got my copy today, actually!

At any rate, wherever you start, there’s a lot to look forward to. Lackey has a knack for writing characters with depth and complexity, giving them flaws that are so well balanced by endearments that even at their worst, you can still understand and empathize with them; she absolutely refuses to write idiot-plots, allowing her characters not only to remain consistent with their established characterizations, but also to communicate with each other and allow their relationships to evolve as the characters do. Characters are allowed to make mistakes, be vain and stubborn and prideful, get angry, get jealous, get scared, and yet afterward still be received with love and forgiveness when they apologize. The magic is beautifully described and, at least for me, easy to understand; the schemes are clever, diabolical, and exciting to watch unfold. There is true, pure evil in the villains, and satisfaction in their endings.

There’s also a decent amount of diversity, which may or may not be surprising, depending on what you’ve read of 80s/90s SFF. Of the handful of books I’ve read so far, here are my observations: Lackey writes fantastic and complex women full of depth, emotion, and ingenuity, each as different from each other as their backgrounds would demand. There are several canonically queer characters across the timeline, including a main protagonist. Lackey’s worldbuilding establishes several unique and disparate cultures, drawing clear influence from many non-European real life sources, with featured characters of those cultures given, in my opinion, respectful and appreciative spotlights. There are characters with disabilities, respected both by the narrative and the characters around them. There are also non-human cultures, characters, and protagonists!

As fantastic as I have been finding these books, it would be remiss of me not to add that these books will not be for everyone. They are firmly adult fantasy, and Lackey does not pull her punches when she wants her characters to suffer. There is torture, sexual assault, suicide. Not all of this is graphically described, but some certainly is; most of the graphic stuff I have so far read is of about the same intensity as the torture scenes of Inheritance, but some of the abstractions are much more intense, and I get the sense that some of what I haven’t yet read may be both graphic and visceral. That being said, if you could handle Game of Thrones’ graphic violence and assault but disliked the persistent pessimism of that series, this one might be right up your alley!

Anyway. That’s all from me for now. I’m off to go read about characters bonding with magical creatures somewhat beyond mortal ken and going on fantastic and harrowing magical adventures. :)

[hunter-sylvester]

I know you do character analysis, would you be alright elaborating about Hunter and his relationship with his parents? Everyone says he has mommy issues, but it looks like it could be a mixture of daddy issues as well.

I would fucking love to, Anon.

(Ao3 Character Analysis Series about Hunter)

I do think it’s very clear that he has mommy issues. From the small handful of references there are to her, it’s obvious. While he has clear on-screen issues with his father, he still keeps a picture of him and his dad on his bookshelf. His mother- however, is violently ripped from it. Something that can easily be read as a visual metaphor for how he feels about her absence from his life. Although I personally tend to write her as having been directly abusive which creates a slightly different whirlwind of issues, in either case she abandoned him. And we clearly see him display a fear of abandonment around Kevin. There’s a clear cause and effect there.

But I entirely agree that he also has daddy issues. It’s a noxious cocktail of neither parent being someone that understands him or knows how to make him feel at home. And it’s precisely that cocktail of issues that makes Hunter make so much sense to me as a character.

It’s not exactly my style to give fathers a lot of sympathy, but even without doing so, it's easy to see that everything Alan Sylvester does in canon shows he just has no idea what to do with Hunter. (Most notably when he literally gives up on parenting him in favor of dumping him in rehab).

He completely fumbles any weak attempts he does make at connecting with/parenting him and they all end in screaming matches.

“Sorry you’re just a little late with the whole ‘parenting’ thing” (when I tell you I feel that line)

Growing up with a parent (partially more, since his mother was around until 7th grade) present without anyone actually bothering to parent you, you end up growing crooked.

Can’t go any other way. Even if his parents were never mentioned, we’d know they were shitty parents based purely on Hunter’s issues.

In my mind, they’re both obviously neglectful. Evident both from the aforementioned quote as well as just the way that Hunter acts.

Each in their respective ways. His mother by literally removing herself from his life. His father by neglecting him emotionally, not hugging him, etc. (I'm assuming he never hugs Hunter based on the deeply awkward shoulder tap during the last scene of the film.) Also, this is a bit of a stretch based on vibes alone. But can you picture Alan cooking for Hunter? Can you picture them having dinner together? I can’t. It’s a bit of a headcanon but I personally believe Hunter has been making his own food for years. (note: this does not necessarily imply that he is a good cook)

Let’s also not forget that Hunter is just a seventeen year old boy. He is still a child (in canon). And a fucking troubled one at that.

One that likely grew up with nobody telling him it was ok to be him. No-one telling him he belonged. No-one showing him how to healthily handle his emotions. (This is one I blame heavily on the father.)

He had to figure everything out for himself. Reinvent the wheel at every step. Of course he’s gonna fuck up along the way. He’s just a kid.

Of course he freaks out when he thinks he’s losing Kevin, he’s already been shown that he can be discarded- and by one of the primary people that are supposed to be there for him.

Of course he’s a bit of a bitch about alcohol when he watches his father drink all the time and he would probably rather die than turn out like him.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Alan also contributed to Hunter’s inability to accept his sexuality. At the very lightest he’d be homophobic in that casual way dads are. The “I don’t care what they do behind closed doors” followed by the most homophobic ‘joke’ you can think of twenty minutes, if not seconds, later. But I wouldn't rule out more blatant queerphobia.

In any case, it’s a clear & constant signal that being queer is not something that’s acceptable for a Sylvester. And as much as Hunter fights his father, as much as I think he dreads being like him, he’s the only parent he has left at this point.

He still wants to be loved. He’s a kid. He needs a loving parent. Even if he, realistically, doesn’t really have one that’s worth appeasing.

Consciously, he’ll rebel. Subconsciously, he still looks up at his father and wants to be told he did well. He wants someone to be proud of him, he wants to be enough.

Call me a pessimist but I think at this point, even if Alan tried, the relationship is so laden with barbed wire that nothing is possibly getting through.

Anything would be too little & too fucking late.

Sorry that got a little fucking bleak...it's me, it's what happens lol Thank you for asking, Anon 🤘

[theno1joelhater]

max harm…yeah no idk why i made this. i guess max is just an interesting dude to me. i like thinking abt him. also content warning for sa, more specifically sexual coercion. i don’t go into excruciating detail on what happened but justin case, yk? it is a large part of what i talk about. you got warned get warned go away if you don’t like that (can’t believe im actually going there).

so max harm. maximilian maximus harmageddon. i don’t know how to properly begin this. i guess ill just start with how he views people/patients/potential patients.

to him, patients are just things he can control to get more money. it’s a whole monopoly type deal where if he gets more people unhealthy he gets more customers and he gets more cash and he just repeats the cycle (or something idk i’ve never played monopoly). he doesn’t care about his patients and never has. he only cares about what they can offer them, and in reality they aren’t really people to him. i mean, just look at any of his videos! he doesn’t give 2 flying fucks about them!

i mean, sometimes it doesn’t even seem like max likes his job much. or respects it. i mean, he drinks on the job (1), during surgeries (2), regularly insults his patients (don’t need a source for this one, but if you insist look through the emily wokerson story) and is completely willing to break his hippocratic oath for like no reason (3). this dude doesn’t care about his job status in the slightest. it seems like no matter what, he knows he’s gonna be ok. and he is, being the only doctor in the cgcu (4). like there’s no way he’s going to lose this job.

but if he doesn’t like the job, why keep it at all? there are plenty of cgcu characters without jobs (ik emily doesn’t have one, too lazy to search for it) and they do just fine. so what’s the deal with being a doctor, if he could live just fine as a normal dude?

well, let’s go through it.

number 1: free access to drugs whenever. this is pretty sick, if not for the fact that robin banks exists. he’s a drug dealer (do i really need a source?). max could just get it off of him. only thing is this’d cost money. in canon, max and robin work together peddling drugs (5). in this hypothetical world where he isn’t a doctor, max could possibly still work with robin, but it’s unlikely. but the thing is, to me drugs could be a reason he stayed a doctor, not a reason he became one. if that really was why, he might go be a pharmacist or those people that make the drugs or something, not a doctor.

number 2: money. while being a doctor does make plenty of money, there are other higher paying jobs (al iby/marty woodshaft—i’m saying lawyer) out there that aren’t nearly as grueling. personally i get woozy at the slightest amount of gore, and i can’t imagine that what he’s seen is normal since he’s some weird weird jack-of-all-trades-definitely-not-master-of-any doctor. i mean he has limits at unhygienic hands (10). the fact that he can’t handle dirty hands just shows that he probably wasn’t all that cut out to be a doctor. honestly, money is definitely a factor in becoming a doctor for him, but it doesn’t exactly seem like he was looking for high paying positions and “doctor” was the first thing to show up. i believe money had something to do with him being a doctor, but it isn’t the primary reason, even if he says otherwise.

so. those are the main reasons. my brain hurty no more thinky. so his reasons to be a doctor all aren’t super solid. honestly if he really wanted free drugs i don’t think he’d become a doctor for it. like, do you know how much work that is?

ah, well he wouldn’t. this dude didn’t become a doctor through hard work, he just slept with the right people (9). that explains his lack of qualifications. like he has to look up stuff that he should know (7) and doesn’t use proper equipment for medical procedures (6), it’s a wonder how he’s only gotten into trouble with the law a few times (from my memory it’s like once but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was higher).

but that’s how, not why.

so, to recap: max doesn’t care about his patients or his job and only got here through being an absolute manwhore. good for him. i’ve tried to think of answers to why he became a doctor, but the question still remains: why is max harm a doctor?

well, it’s time for me to do what i do second best: bullshit together a backstory and hope i can explain it well enough so that you accept it into your canon.

so. why do most doctors become doctors besides helping people since we’ve established max doesn’t care? parental pressure! yeah we’re going there!

i firmly believe that max harm had parents (🤯) with high expectations for him. he was kinda wealthy i guess—maybe like middle class? i’m bad at class systems. he was not poor, but also not rich. parents stingy and occasionally speak of money issues, but they weren’t like dirt poor. either way, he could a bit comfortably, by our standards at least. they wanted him to be successful more than anything. they only wanted to see their baby boy be happy, but the way they enforced it wasn’t awesome. just the classic strict parents who don’t understand that friendship is magic and that grades aren’t everything. they pushed him to be a doctor pretty hard. like, really hard. they were super hard on him about grades n school, trying to force him into a million different things all at once. insert pressure and intense fear of disappointment here. they instilled the idea that max had to get good grades, or else they’ll be like super mega disappointed, and max was desperate for their validation.

switching gears kinda not really: in my eyes, max was a bit of a jock. just take this as me using tropes for characters that i think fit them. so dumb sport boy max harm it is.

so max did sports, and he was pretty good at it! it was one of the few things he liked doing. it was a nice respite from school and stuff. but he was failing pretty hard in sciences and stuff. you know, just stuff that’s important to being a doctor. the career choice his parents were pushing him to be. it stressed him out a completely normal amount: failing. he practically studied his ass off trying to pass, but he couldn’t. and his parents were getting pissy and if his grades dropped any more he couldn’t play anymore and it was all stressing him the fuck out so he was going to march his way down to that teacher, get on his knees, and beg for a higher grade. and get on his knees he did.

(this is the part i gave a trigger warning for)

so his teacher said that they would pass max in exchange for sex. max is fairly attractive (he sleeps around a lot as an adult + he’s played by cam, who like 90% of the fanbase lusts for) and the teacher saw this as a great opportunity to get laid, rules be damned. and…cmon. how could he ever face his parents again with a failing grade? there’s no fucking way he could do that. and what about the sports team, his friends, the one thing is this goddamned school he likes? he had to do it. there was no other choice. he was backed into a corner.

but “oh, couldn’t he just leave? report that teacher to the authorities?” i hear you ask. to that i say…the hell do you think would happen? when male students and teachers have such relations, they’re usually applauded instead of taken seriously. max would be “lucky”, not someone who was taken advantage of. i mean, this exact situation is an incredibly popular porn genre. he wouldn’t be taken seriously. and didn’t i mention the intense fear of disappointment? poor boy was too scared to go home without that 65% or more. he didn’t feel like he had a choice. he was backed into a corner. he was backed into a corner.

after that was all done with, max just felt…empty? there was this growing void in him, and he was scared of it. he had to fill it somehow. so, more sex it is! i feel like hypersexuality describes it, but i don’t want to misuse that term unintentionally. you get what im getting at though, right? he hooked up with more and more people, as both a coping mechanism to deal with the void, and in some way…regulate what happened to him. sex is normal, this happens to everyone. it’s fine. it’s also a distractor. when left alone max starts thinking, and when he starts thinking his mind goes to dark places. digs up things that should never resurface. things that he never wanted to resurface. this keeps his mind off of it. never really works though, does it?

so…with that out of the way…let’s get to how max got his job!

medical school, it’s medical school. i fully believe he did go (because i don’t think sleeping with a hospital ceo would get you a medical license), and max used the same tactic he used for that one teacher all those years ago. he slept around like crazy, absolute who—i probably shouldn’t call him that anymore. either way, he’s a doctor now. a shitty excuse for a doctor that never did any real work with a black hole where his heart should be. poor thing.

he still does it as a doctor btw, sleeping with patients (8). in some twisted way, he has the upper hand now. he has all the power, all the control. the control he was denied so many years ago. now he has the upper hand. now he has power.

so…what did i just say? max got coerced into having sex with his teacher in hs, causing intense feelings of emptiness. he began having more sex because he thought it would help with it (it didn’t), and it continued on through med school and all throughout his career. oh, speaking of his career! what do his parents think of him now?

well, they don’t know shit. they don’t know anything. they don’t know. they know max has been acting a bit weird, but they ignore it since he’s been improving in school so much! they don’t know.

and after he became a doctor? oh, they were so proud. but honestly? they just take money from him every now and then. sometimes, it seems like they just think of max as a wallet. so he thinks of others as a wallet. it’s all very human.

don’t get me wrong, i think max still talks to his parents. he can’t hate them. he can’t, no matter how hard he tries. it’s horrible, i guess. he still talks to them, still has an ok relationship with them, only because it’s expected of him. he’d drop them in a nursing home if he could.

so…tldr? i should stop calling max a whore. also max only became a doctor bc his parents forced him, a teacher forced max to sleep with him which led to a whole slew of problems, and now he’s a doctor? i don’t even know what to say. how will this affect the economy??

also, as a final note i’m sorry if this was inaccurate. i tried to do research and stuff, but i haven’t really experienced something exactly like this before so i can’t make this 100% accurate. im sorry for any and all inaccuracies.

1. https://youtu.be/TINR2rOep1A?si=erv0mYRJXs07OWFd

2. https://youtube.com/shorts/vpNyGvJZ2f4?si=BuoFfgfo4aGG3eKg

3. https://youtube.com/shorts/g4iz3LfJ1jo?si=Wci-R4G15nmZ6asH

4. https://youtube.com/shorts/We-3L1NAtlQ?si=mMIzLs1WYaFhcR8r

5. https://youtu.be/QjB321d1ScA?si=0OOLsev0NjtCJiji

6. https://youtu.be/f5ZAcKClhKk?si=n6FCBa5Q6ua7GjLb

7. https://youtube.com/shorts/Zu-3UA5oJpI?si=7rHj8DL11L1wpifA

8. https://youtube.com/shorts/05vcp2i7tZA?si=Rj1ua_Jzdr1wFZ2u

9. https://youtube.com/shorts/obIhonJcQzo?si=Vkn-0Xx7zq_k3GKH

10. https://youtube.com/shorts/8D04Vk1kYJA?si=DG-Q8rhdCHDpD3ZF

[yarameijer]

heyaaaa, i'm a big fan of acidental reverse but that should be no surprise to you at this point, is too good, so good! i was so happy when i went to read on ff.net and found out there were more chapters to readthan on ao3 like "I'M NOT GONNA STARVE" anyway, i really wanted to ask what is your opinion on ships, i know is not the main focus of the story and honestly i dont mind there is any, is more out of curiosity since your other works dont really include ships and the closest i saw you get to the theme of two characters liking each other to that degree was in that one chapter were tenma said ''Repressed sexual tension much?!'' to shindou and tsurugi

also that single line broke me so much, it was like, 3:00 am when i read it and i had to muffle my laugh with the pillow so i wouldnt wake up the rest of the house, the way it got me gagged you are so amazing for that i swear-

anyway i'm writing more than i should, hope you are doing ok and once again, you did a fucking great job, that fanfic is sublime

Hello hello~~ haha, glad to hear you’re enjoying my stories, and sorry for almost making you wake up your family? Wasn’t the intention XD I have to say, this is an interesting ask, not one I was expecting! My opinion on ships…

Well, honestly? I don’t really care about them.

Nothing against people who like shipping (as long as they’re respectful about it), and if I read a story and there’s a good romance in it, I can certainly enjoy it! But I’ll likely never write it as something other than a background thing (mostly just canon relationships).

I think it’s overdone. That’s my biggest issue with it - fandom culture pushes romantic relationships to an extreme degree and downplays the importance of platonic relationships. There’s so many different types of love - between family, between friends, passionate love, playful love, sibling love, parent-child love, found family - and I’ve read far too many stories where the only thing that counts is romance, where all the characters need to be in a relationship, where the only thing that could make you ‘truly happy’ is being in a relationship, and that denies the importance of platonic relationships. The idea that the only thing that matters is romantic relationships is both ridiculous and incredibly toxic. Sometimes platonic love can be more meaningful than romantic love, depending on the situation. Sometimes, when people write two characters who have a meaningful (but canonically non-romantic) relationship as a couple, it takes away from the actual bond between them and downplay the trust and faith they have in one another due to relationship drama.

I guess the reason why I don’t write romance in my stories is because there’s already so, so many stories about that exact topic, and a severe lack of platonic love. I want to read about platonic love, so I write about platonic love. Simple as that.

Hope that answered your question! And no worries, your ask wasn't too long or anything, it was very fun to read :D

[lissomelace]

I'd love to hear about a section in gilded silks and linens that you've been dying to talk about! ⭐

I have no idea what to talk about, so I’m going to talk about Tyelkormo!

God, there are SEVEN Fëanárions, and I always worry I’m not giving all of them their full space to be the huge personalities (and problems) that they are. So I kind of have to pick and choose who to feature, and who is off being loud somewhere else.

It has been really interesting trying to figure out how they would interact with their half-cousins, since we don’t get too much of that in canon, and certainly not in the sort of context that this AU has been, since this now quite a canon deviation, if only the beginning. So sometimes it surprises me, like Carnistir being the one to make friends with Findaráto. And I try to give some of them one-on-one moments to explore them out of the fray.

But the section I think I’d like to talk about here is the conversation between Findekáno and Tyelkormo at the end of chapter 8. I was a little surprised when writing this out that they actually seemed friendly? Like, more so than ‘this is my little sister’s friend.’ They’re having a bit of an argument here because of a difference in point of view, and Tyelko’s abrasiveness and mistaken beliefs about Findaráto, but there was also an odd sort of connection that wasn’t happening between Findekáno and Makalaurë, no matter that they share some interests.

So I think that Findekáno actually has a lot of respect, and almost admiration for Tyelkormo. This is an omega who is more outspoken and abrasive than he was, and who has never in his life been curbed for it. Who barely seems aware that he is an omega, at least as far as Findekáno’s understanding of what that means. As much as that was a bit of a problem in this scene and context, when they first met I think Findekáno would have clocked him as an alpha, and been very confrontational and aggressive. And Tyelkormo responded in kind. And much later when Findekáno found out his gender, it gave him the breathing room to want to befriend him. And getting into wrestling matches being Tyelkormo’s preferred form of social interaction, he was pretty cool with that as well. Especially since his knowledge of Tirion came from Fëanáro dismissively being, like, “It’s boring and they waste all their time on social niceties.” And Írissë being like, “yeah, it sucks,” and offering no details beyond that. So he was like, “sweet, a brother-in-law who’s totally down to run off camping for two weeks and climb trees and jump off of cliffs into the river. He’s probably better than anyone else there. And he doesn't hover or dither like Nelyo.”

And Findekáno was more than happy to have the opportunity to totally forget anything related to his sexual designation and jump into a friendship where it really didn’t matter. And now he’s going to have to deal with what that actually means, and is going to dig that up in a legal context, and is positioning himself as Findaráto’s safe place and defender and good example. And all that means that he’s in a position to take a more critical look at his friends and in-laws and say something like, “this is all very nice and good. But it’s important to understand where and why this could put you in danger. For your own safety.” This has been a sticking point in the past more with Makalaurë, because he actively wanted to leave for Tirion, and Findekáno had to say, “wait, that’s a bad idea.” But Tyelkormo has been under the protection of two Valar his whole life, and has no designs to leave. He has a lot of safety and privilege that the vast majority of omegas and betas do not. So he’s going to have a difficult long-term time coming to realize that. I’m very interested and excited to explore his process further, even as a secondary character who isn’t currently getting much of the spotlight.

Anyway, hope this suffices and isn’t too long! Thank you so much for the ask!

[werewolf-art004]

NEW SERIES COMING SOON…

For a while now I’ve wanted to start a text series based on my opinions on Ships. (As in character pairings and not the vehicle kind.)

I have so many thoughts on the topic from ships I like, ships I’m not a fan of, to characters I ship that I don’t see enough content for and want to talk about. It’s a topic I talk about a lot anyway with my friends so why not make dedicated posts for it?

This post is acting as an announcement and also a DISCLAIMER! The disclaimer is needed because I know for a FACT! some of my opinions will be controversial, as most if not all shipping opinions seem to be.

(So feel free to skip if you don’t care and aren’t easily offended by opinions on the internet)

DISCLAIMERS AND RULES FOR HOW I SHIP CHARACTERS!!!

1. THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS AND NOT TO BE REGARDED AS FACT OR AN ATTACK ON DIFFERING OPINIONS! Is that clear enough? It’s OKAY if you have a different opinion than me and feel either a) the ship is valid. b) is invalid. All opinions matter! The opinions stated in my posts about ships are just mine and aren’t meant to cause harm, only make an observation.

1.2. PLEASE KEEP ANY DIFFERING OPINIONS CIVIL! I repeat…KEEP ANY DISAGREEMENTS KIND AND RESPECTFUL!! This one is serious. I expect there to be disagreements. I’d be surprised if there weren’t any. I understand as a shipper myself that character relationships are important. But please, PLEASE keep the comments kind and respectful. TO ME AND TO OTHERS! I’m posting these opinions to start a conversation and provide a SAFE space, not start a war. So please be nice and no harassment.

2. MOST (IF NOT ALL) CHARACTERS IN THESE SHIPS WILL BE AGE APPROPRIATE AND/OR BOTH ADULTS. This should go without saying, and I’m sorry I have to even include this. But there will be NO MINOR/ADULT SHIPS! NONE!!! It’s gross and I’m not touching it with a ten ft. pole. (unless I state why I find it wrong). I also don’t plan on discussing ships with minors/minors. This is less serious but falls in a similar category. I feel shipping two characters who are minors feels weird. This is probably just personal preference, but I don’t find interest or satisfaction in it.

3. MOST IF NOT ALL SHIPS WILL ADHERE TO THE STORY’S PREEXISTING CANON! This is a pretty big one for me. I see too many ships that go out of their way to ignore canon or straight up break it just to justify a ship. While certain ships could justify it if they work and are better than what canon established, in general I find it a bit annoying how much fans bash canon just to make it work. I usually try to fit any characters I ship into pre existing canon (But there are quite a few exemptions to this rule)

3.2. I will not ship two characters if a better CANON ship is already established. If a story hinges on or heavily features a pre-existing ship between two characters I will not ignore it. Think relationships like Percabeth. A ship that is integral to both characters’ growth and the story advancing. A relationship that if taken away changes the plot. (Ships that try to break this frustrate me a bit but I’ll go deeper into this later). Point is I try to stay within canon.

3.3.I WILL NOT SHIP TWO CHARACTERS IF THEY ARE CLEARLY STATED AS STRAIGHT OR OF OTHER SEXUALITY. This is sadly another big one…Too often I see ships that seem to whole ignore one or both characters’ sexuality. This can be a multitude of things. Mostly making clearly straight characters gay (but occasionally making aroace characters straight/gay). While for some ships I allow it as the pairing can be better, in general I avoid it. This connects to the last rule, but if it breaks canon too much for me it’s a no go. I don’t like sacrificing preexisting character traits or relationships for a ship that is forced.

4. THERE WILL BE EXEPTIONS TO RULE THREE! Of COURSE. I have quite a few characters I ship that don’t adhere to the story’s canon. However in these scenarios it’s because THE PREEXISTING SHIPS SUCK! To reiterate this can because the preexisting pairing is either poorly written, toxic, or forced within the established canon. To use a specific example: a character who is CLEARLY GAY (or otherwise) but presented as gay because the original author is a coward (*cough* Disney *cough*). There are plenty of examples of this for me and I will discuss this further in dedicated posts for each ship. So if a ship works better than the canon ship, then YES! I’ll gladly ship it! To an extent of course, it shouldn’t jeopardize the narrative to work, but even then I’m willing to go with it if the ship is genuinely better than canon! (Wolfstar anyone?)

5. Characters I ship should have a good reason for that relationship. This is more of a side note but I prefer my ships to have meaning. Ships for the sake of it are fine and I don’t have beef with, but for me I like my ships to have a purpose. I focus on why each character is in that relationship and what they get out of it. Ships should benefit each character and make them better.

5.2. Crack Ships…This is a weird category as the name suggests. The first thing that comes to my mind is Character x Object. (Like JayfeatherxStick or DracoxApple) These ships can be funny but I don’t take them seriously I’m sorry.

5.3. Toxic ships. I don’t like them. Intentionally shipping two characters who are clearly rivals (as in characters who hate each other) aren’t fun to ship for me. It connects to rule 3. It feels off from intended canon and doesn’t benefit either character. Exceptions are if the rivalry is only friendly and leads organically to a future romance (Elphaba x Glinda)

And yeah I think that is everything for now! I may add more rules if I forgot anything or feel I need to (SERIOUSLY DON’T MAKE ME NEED TO!). I hope to start posting character ships soon! I will pin this post for future reference if you wonder why a certain ship wasn’t included or has a certain opinion. However it could be I haven’t gotten to it yet. I’m open to suggestions but if it’s a ship and/or fandom I’m unfamiliar with I may ignore it (sorry in advance).

I look forward to discussing my ships and I’ll see y’all there!

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

To no surprise, slapping the Alutegra button for bingo

(But also - Darklina is it? 👀)

Alutegra

I’ve talked about Alutegra a lot! But very basically I loooove the culmination of like a full century of animosity and baggage and hostility being these two… getting along. Like a very key part of the ship dynamic for me is the incongruity of them liking each other! And genuinely being in each other’s respective corners!

I also just love the sheer metaphor of the relationship. Alucard as representing every sort of temptation possible for Integra— moral, romantic/sexual, the horrible things he can do at her behest, and the horrible things she could do to him with the complete power she holds. So just having All Of That embodied in another character, barely restrained in her basement, is such an interesting way to illustrate the sort of precipice she’s always in danger of tipping over the side of? She’s SUCH a restrained character, always so aloof, barely showing any emotion. And like I know it’s an art style thing, but even her personal space is so empty and utilitarian! And yeah Alucard is just such a great contrast to that/way to hint that she’s so, so in danger of going off the fucking rails!

Darklina

Oh boy.

So these two ships next to each other is really funny to me! I was getting some shit awhile back for liking Alutegra and I was like “okay, well, I fully understand being squicked out by it, and it’s not a great dynamic etc etc but I don’t really think it’s that bad, it’s probably the healthiest either of them can manage.” and then I switched over to Darklina being the main thing I write for. And uh. yeah this one is objectively way worse.

It’s really the manipulation that gets me lmao. I tend to really like dynamics that start out with a mentor/protégée power imbalance that gets dramatically flipped at some point? And frankly canon never fully delivered in the way that I wanted it to, (I would’ve liked even more manipulation!) but the broad brushstrokes are there and they’re great.

Basically I love the idea that the Darkling had very particular thoughts about the sort of person Alina would be, and was trying to shape her worldview and values to match that. And he’s just so shocked and offended when it turns out she has a mind of her own at all/at least isn’t cool with outright war crimes, that he goes SO insanely gloves off with his cruelty that he destroys any chance whatsoever of salvaging their relationship or any of his carefully laid plans.

The clash of values is really fun, and I like the focus on identity for Alina, with how the Darkling keeps insisting his is the only correct perspective and if she lives long enough she’ll finally grow up and understand. And her trying to figure out any other options she can actually live with lol.

Like he’s ultimately this fairly pathetic husk of a person, white knuckling a carefully crafted veneer of cunning and reason, and he gets absolutely obliterated by this random girl, mostly because he keeps tripping up over his own pride and vindictive nature. Like if the Darkling was just slightly more normal for five goddamn minutes at any point in the trilogy, he probably could’ve won! But he’s very not normal, he prefers burning down orphanages (canon) and kicking puppies (not canon that we know of)

Alas most of the ship’s fanbase want him to be a woobie tragic hero and I’m not about that. I’m sorry, it’s such a dull take???

[stolasbuckzo]

Things I would change in Helluva Boss:

Notes:

• Keep in the LGBTQIA+ but balance it out with the heterosexuals

* I don’t mean to sound homophobic when I say this, I know you can’t have too many gay people, but when there’s only TWO straights, Loona and Vortex — not counting everyone else’s parents that are female x male —, ONE transgender, Sallie May, and maybe two full on gay guys, Stolas & Andrealpus, then you know it’s imbalanced!

• Incorporate more female roles and have them do MORE than be sidelined to make way of the male characters (and, again, actually balance it out)

*ie: Moxxie and Millie take TURNS in fighting for each other rather than him just being saved or her being just “his wife”

• Not bring back pointless characters the audience is never going to see again or in a couple of months at a time ie:

*Chaz >>> 2x03

(If he’s dead he should stay dead or at least don’t just KILL HIM OFF to make new way for characters)

*Stolas (?) >>> 2x04

Same problem as above or better yet…. KEEP HIM ALIVE! HE’S THE SECOND MAIN CHARACTER! A hell of a lot more important than bloody Chaz!)

• Blitz treated his employees with respect (but still had that teasing “brotherly” relationship with Moxxie without everything else)

*Lol “respect for himself and his peers” is actually one of his goals canonically except for having a “familial” relationship with Moxxie (and Millie) because, to be honest, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.

(Orr he can still have feelings for M&M — because it’s hard to get rid of being sexually attracted to someone and it takes a serious amount of HARD work and energy — but he just can’t ACT on them the way he normally does/would canonically)

* Blitz and Stolas respectively go to therapy — whether the former likes it or not 😂 — to work on themselves and deal with their insecurities and inner demons, ideally, before they can be together

• Actually make some marital problems between Moxxie and Millie (like seriously, it’s toxic with the way it is now. with their relationship being a “fairytale”)

• Keep the abusive parents (it’s a good challenge for their children to turn them into better fathers — as bad as it sounds — than their own and never let it happen to their own child):

Blitz = Loona

Stolas = Octavia

Moxxie = N/A

• I’d make a interesting storyline between Helluva Boss crossover with Hazbin Hotel

• Not bring up controversial topics

Season 1:

1x01:

• Stolas still cheats on Stella with Blitz, regardless, because she’s being such a mega abusive bitch, and I need a villain (also he needs a relief for his suppressed sexuality, he at least deserves that much)

* But the only difference is maybe puts a stop to his adultery once he starts falling in love with him (but reassures Blitz he can still have his grimoire every month without the sexual side of things)

1x02:

• Actually have Stolas listen to Octavia when she clearly stated that she 👏🏻 does 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 enjoy 👏🏻 Loo 👏🏻 Loo 👏🏻Land 👏🏻 any -👏🏻 more 👏🏻 because it remind her of a time when she was happier as a child (and a time when her parents didn’t hate each other)

• Not have Stolas call Blitz to “bodyguard” him and Octavia (to flirt with unless he was actually going treat him like temporary employment of a bodyguard)

• I wouldn’t make Octavia run away due to being emotional just because Stolas was flirting with Blitz (surprise, surprise 🙄)

* I understand she’s sad and probably confused about the why it’s happening, but what with her being Stolas’s daughter I would have thought that meant she has his high IQ (probably does but is clouded by emotions)

• I’d keep in Stolas chasing after Octavia and consoling her and reassure her that he he was NOT going to leave her behind (specifically for Blitz)

the only thing I would change is to have him explain to her why he does what he does in regards of cheating on her mother

(Maybe Octavia would understand that he’s not only GAY as fuck but also he doesn’t love Stella BECAUSE of the ongoing abuse and the wrong gender)

1x03:

• Blitz respectfully told Verosika that it’s not working out for him and that he needs to heal himself and his toxicity.

*Verosika still sexually assaults (rapers gonna rape rape rape 😬 ) Moxxie to spite Blitz even though he was respectful about their break up and handled it maturely

• Blitz becomes a better parent for Loona (or at least tries his damn hardest to)

• Loona never told Blitz that he wasn’t her dad or called him an “asshole”

• Make Vortex single and not have a girlfriend (hehe Lortex 🥰)

1x04:

I’d keep everything the same pretty much

1x05:

• Stella still hires Striker to kill Stolas (twice)

*Striker offers Blitz to work for him and does his whole evil speech thing minus saying that he’d be more than “plaything” to Stolas lol

1x06:

• Moxxie asks Blitz (under the truth gas) if he currently has feelings for Stolas who responded with a “I knew it” after the latter confirmed it

* The drug trip would be pretty much the same except another reverse roles the one in Moxxie’s case (or maybe I’d include SOME inkling of stuff from 2x03)

• Stolas saves Blitz from the human agents (but keeps his distance both romantically and platonically platonically at least until they’re clean of their dysfunctional problems)

* Blitz still suggests he fucks Stolas for coming to his rescue (I know what I said before but this could be a once off thing. The guy saved his life! And I didn’t exactly say WHEN they’d have to take a break from each other 😈)

• I would definitely bring other important D.H.O.R.K. agents back in future episodes (like a James & Jesse thing from Pokémon 🤣)

1x07:

(This could really go two ways depending if you’re pro or anti Stolitz)

• Blitz never stalked M&M and never used Stolas or his title just to get inside somewhere like Ozzie’s

Alternative:

This still could have happened canonically but with a twist! Blitz turned around and would have payed more attention to his “date” — which happened, somewhat, canonically, for a brief moment, and wondered why Stolas was asking about happened at work (as normal people do on dates, for the sake of small talk 😂) — rather than obsessing over his employees M&M

• Stolas never hid his face from Blitz at the thought of Octavia’s — mainly — and Stella’s contempt towards him for sleeping with a commoner

* I’ll do one better and say that: he proudly stood up for the latter and called out everyone else in return (I mean, if he could stand up to Stella in 2x01 canonically…

• Blitz never would have gotten heartbroken (because let’s face it, he was) thinking Stolas was ashamed — allegedly — to be with someone like him

• Blitz wouldn’t have rejected Stolas to watch a movie or even cuddle (because he’s neither embarrassed like he was canonically or hurt)

* Who knows even just by “cuddling” it would have morphed into something more than that 😏

(Which technically means the hurt feelings at Ozzie’s never happened and Blitz never accused Stolas of treating him like a “plaything” because of the the whole changed storyline and the characters goals goals. Weird, huh? It’s like the Butterfly Effect)

🦋

Season 2

2x01:

• I would still have Paimon force Stolas to be engaged with Stella, whether he likes it or not (or even despite his sexuality 🏳️‍🌈)

• Baby Stolas still meets Baby Blitz(o) during his performance at the circus and befriended with (through their parents arranged payment)

• Still have Stolas demand Stella to get THE DIVORCE™️ (I’m not THAT inhumane)

* The difference would be and he focuses more on his family and building a relationship with his daughter and himself to be the best person he can be.

Which means Octavia won’t be scared of him leaving her behind especially for Blitz and actually has supportive parent she can turn to when Stella is giving her grief

2x02:

• Loona never physically attacked Blitz (since he never told her he’d replace her as either a daughter or receptionist)

• I would NOT make Octavia run away every time someone was busy (her dad) and if it was Stolitz related 1x02 >>> 2x12

* I get it. She was disappointed that Stolas couldn’t do hang out with her, and, you know what? Yeah, it sucks to be told “darling, not right now”, but really, pick a time and a place that suits both of you, even if she has to sacrifice missing Astaroth’s Tears (there’ll be more post-divorced opportunities, which, I’m SURE, Stolas won’t tell her that he’s busy becaus he’d drop everything to hang out with her.

Just… not THAT particular day in 2x02. It was just very bad timing, it doesn’t make him a “bad parent”

Also, I would just generally not make Stolas hostile towards Stella’s comebacks, whilst I understand he’s standing his ground… it’s not necessarily done in the right way, especially with calling her a “B-I-T-C-H” — even if it’s true, doesn’t mean he should put her mother down, regardless of their relationship — in FRONT of Octavia, which definitely instigated the whole “why does he hate her, more than he loves me?” thing

Then again, to be FAIR, if this never happened, she and Loona could never have that “dads fuck up all the time, but it doesn’t mean they DON’T care” chat

2x03:

• I would keep Crimson’s abuse towards Moxxie (as I said before and I need a another villain)

• I would make Chaz reunite with his two exes (M&M) and pretty much keep his personality

• I would NOT make Blitz take Chaz’s offer on sex even when he told him he’d show what he did with M&M

(Then again that’d make it harder for him to know what Chaz was up to…)

* Blitz recognised the difference between someone showing genuine love & care (Stolas ) versus treating him like an ACTUAL “plaything” (Chaz) — if the whole “transactional fucking” was still canon in my version

• At the end Crimson doesn’t kill Chaz (because that’s just pointless) instead announces that he has a job in mind for him

• Crimson would still want to kill Moxxie (maybe along with Chaz’s help? Or maybe even would go so far as to make an alliance with Stella of all people 😈)

2x04:

• I’d not continue Stolas call Blitz “Blitzy” whether he’s in the room or not and get him to simp for him (it’s no different to S1. Seriously what happened to the character development in 2x02! 🤦🏼‍♀️)

* Unless maybe Stolas calls him “Blitz” ONLY when he’s serious 🤔 (like the same reason when Blitz doesn’t swear, use sexual innuendos, or lacks any of the euphemisms)

• I wouldn’t make Andrealpus incestuous towards Stella (I mean I know it’s Hell and everything, there’s some things I’ll tolerate like rape but not this. It’s technically Jaime and Cersei Lannister all over again but I’m pretty sure one sided, hopefully 🥴)

* I know it was implied again in 2x02 (the episode Loo Loo Land) when Blitz told Stolas to “make sure she washes it” — in regards to Octavia — but at least it was quickly shut down by the latter before it could go on any further

• Stolas still get stabbed by Striker multiple times and has to go to the hospital somewhere in the Pride Ring

• Blitz texts Stolas he wants to talk about what happened at Ozzie’s but isn’t ready to and asks for some time (even though this conversation happened many texts ago probably on the night)

• Blitz still wishes Stolas to get better soon :(

(but say whatever he was going to say before he had deleted his message)

2x05:

I would never put Barbie in this episode because we don’t know about her, I understand there’s a whole “enigma backstory” thing but one of the things is don’t introduce a character you probably won’t see again for a while… it just gets confusing

(Like half the fandom are like why is Barbie in this? What did Blitz doooooo? What happened to their relationship? Why does she HATE him so much? Etc)

2x06: (TBA)

S3 (TBA):

Note: Be warned this season is NOT for anti-Stolitzers as it will contain them being in relationship, so, to avoid the drama, please skip over it… so you don’t ruin for other people who may enjoy this ship.

3x01:

• TBA

[your-favs-have-tummy-problems]

hey !

you may know me from my blog @j4y-jay where i also post about tummy stuff ! (what a surprise)

this blog is dedicated to fictional characters with tummy problems !

[tummy stuff, sickness, whump, things like it]

info ⌄⌄

at the end of this post is an ask info section, which has the basic info for submitting a character

if you just wanna send asks about a scene or headcanon that you love this is the place for it !

the daily posts are not sexual in anyway so you can submit characters that are minors just don’t be weird about it okay

i believe that this blog will be completely non sexual, but if their is anything with sexual content it will be tagged and most likely have the read more option

DNI ⌄⌄

pr0sh1pers or anyone who is okay with or ship’s abusive, incest, or minor x adult ships

xenophobic -> homophobic, transphobic, ablest, racist, ect

this blog is fine for any age so long as you stay respectful of others

ask info ⌄⌄

to submit a character the info needed is

character name

series name

canon or headcanon

type of problem(s)

a picture of the character (optional but preferred, if not given i’ll just find one)

and if through dms please specify if you’d like to stay anonymous or not !

[dragonflight203]

Next up on the DC Comics list is Batman: The Killing Joke.

I picked this one up because it is so iconic to DC canon. This is the comic that paralyzed Barbara Gordon, which put her on the path to becoming Oracle.

Comic

Title: Batman: The Killing Joke

Author: Alan Moore

Artist: Brian Bolland

Year: 1988

Overall Opinion

-A short story that achieves what it set out to do.

While it’s not a stand out to me, I respect that it is well written and drawn.

(I could have done without the sole major female character being fridged, but comics are going to comic.)

Art

Note: I’m reading the Deluxe edition, which Brian Bollard recolored. He also made some tweaks to the panels, so it’s not quite the same as the original story.

-Quite good. I like this style of artwork. However, it’s not so gorgeous that I’m going to print panels and hang them on the wall.

General

-I’m very surprised at how short the comic is. Only 46 pages. Given its prominence in DC canon, I had presumed it was longer.

Goes to show that length is not the same as impact. A good writer can do a lot in a few words.

-The transitions are very well done, with the panel of the new section often being very similar to the last panel of the prior section.

-The comic opens with Batman wanting to speak with the Joker because he thinks they’re on the path to kill each other, and it ends with Batman actually doing so. He wants to find a way to avert it.

I, personally, dislike the obsession of treating Joker as Batman’s arch nemesis. I just don’t find him that interesting and would prefer stories that use other Rogues.

However, this story goes a long way to explaining why many treat it as canon; it could certainly be used to support that.

-I’m not thrilled by giving Joker a past; I prefer how Joker came to be left unanswered. What matters are the problems he’s currently causing.

That said, I like to interpret the background provided here as an example past that Joker would given himself to (mockingly) excuse his actions.

-One of Joker’s iconic lines is from this comic: “If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice! Ha ha ha!”

That certainly makes it easier to view the past in this comic as just one of Joker’s stories.

Story

-The attack on Barbara is genuinely disturbing. The Joker comes out of nowhere and just shoots her.

However, the assault after the shooting is worse. The Joker strips her naked and takes photo of her.

I presume he didn’t sexually assault her as that’s never mentioned in the comic and it certainly doesn’t hold back on what was done to Barbara, but it could very easily be read as such.

-I’m surprised people read the ending as Batman killing the Joker. The end doesn’t explicitly show the Joker being brought in, but it also doesn’t show Batman killing him. It fades out as cop cars approach and the two laugh.

I don’t see anything to imply Joker is killed, but apparently some read the end of the laughter to be that.

Moreover, it goes against the theme of the comic – Joker’s assault on Barbara is to break Gordon and Batman and prove that all it takes is one bad day to drive anyone over the edge.

Gordon doesn’t break; he tells Batman to bring in Joker by the book.

Batman killing Joker at the end would prove the Joker right.

Characters

-In the hospital, Barbara’s out until Batman speaks to her. That wakes her up.

That shows their closeness, and possibly how Batman has drilled the Bat family to always respond to him when he makes a welfare check.

She also repeatedly refers to him as Bruce despite him being in full Batman garb, but given the situation I think that can be forgiven.

-I love Batman offering to help the Joker at the end of the comic. It shows his compassion and drive to make the world better. His goal isn’t to punish criminals; his goal is improve Gotham.

Batman: “We could work together. I could rehabilitate you. You needn’t be out there on the edge any more. You needn’t be alone. We don’t have to kill each other.”

-And the Joker seems to genuinely consider it! There’s a panel where he just looks at Batman, before turning him down. In a surprisingly genuine way, for the Joker.

Joker: “No. I’m sorry, but… No. It’s too late for that. Far too late. Hahaha. Y’know, it’s funny… This situation. It reminds me of a joke…”

Edit: Added Comic section

[0pin0n-custard]

Harley Quinn Season 3 Episode 2 and DC’s Refusal to Address Harm

**TW Discussion of Sexual Assault, Victim Blaming, Mental Health Issues, and Suicide**

Please note that I am writing this as a survivor of rape, and as someone who suffers from PTSD and dissociation

Hearing that Nightwing was making an appearing in Harley Quinn really got me excited. I wanted to see how they’d depict him and what they’d do with his character.

Overall, my feelings are mixed. And it’s all because of one line.

Yep. The “I let Vigilante kill Blockbuster” line that had “I let Tarantula kill Blockbuster” in the closed captions.

I could get on my soapbox for hours about Nightwing 93 and its absolutely abhorrent handling of rape. Devin Grayson did a fucking horrible job, and her victim blaming commentary did nothing to help her cause. She’s since addressed this, but I personally can’t bring myself to forgive her for the genuine harm she caused.

As an aside, please don’t go harass her. That isn’t ok. You don’t have to like her; just don’t harass her.

Back on topic, DC handled Nightwing’s rape by pretending that it never happened. Nightwing 93 isn’t in print and the assault was never addressed in the comics again.

So you can imagine my genuine shock when the I was watching Harley Quinn (with subtitles on because auditory processing is a bitch) and I heard/saw that line drop.

I want to make one thing very clear. I’m not opposed to DC acknowledging its fuck-ups. They made Dick’s rape canon, so it’s better to address it and handle it in a proper, respectful manner than to just shove it away and hope no one remembers.

But the way that it was handled in the show frustrated me for two reasons.

1. The lack of acknowledgment (again)

Yep. DC really fucked up in that regard. No surprise there.

The people behind Harley Quinn all collectively decided that mentioning Nightwing 93 was a good idea.

And I agree! Harley Quinn has plenty of moments where they address serious subject matter (like… ya know.. how the Joker treated Harley.) They managed to pull that off in a way that kept the humor, set the stage for the show, but also remained respectful towards survivors of domestic violence. It’s a perfect platform for the long-ignored assault to be processed.

But then they pulled a Devin Grayson (although to a significantly less harmful degree) by simply not acknowledging it.

Dick wasn’t upset because of what Tarantula did. He was upset that he let Blockbuster die. Just like in the comics.

And to make matters worse, somewhere along the line, someone had the bright idea that “hey maybe we shouldn’t mention Tarantula because of what happened.” And the voice line got changed to “Vigilante.”

This doesn’t work for a variety of reasons. Nightwing 93 is infamous in the fandom. You mention Blockbuster’s death, and fans are gonna know exactly what event is being referred to. You can’t just bring it up and change the name around. We all know what happened, and, to me, it feels like the show erased Nightwing’s trauma (again.)

Not to mention, the subtitle wasn’t changed. So… that was kinda a dead giveaway.

Either the creators realized midway through development that mentioning Tarantula would be a bit ~controversial~, had Nightwing’s VA do a quick redo, and then forgot to change the CC, or the DC higher ups weren’t too happy that Tarantula was brought up, told the Harley Quinn team to change it, and they did but also kept the CC the same. Idk which.

Not to mention, the fact that it was changed somewhere along the line means that DC recognized that Dick had been raped in Nightwing 93, and made the deliberate decision to silence him once again.

Either way, DC fucked up the soup by sticking their toe in it, then trying to pretend like they didn’t.

2. Dick Grayson’s Characterization

Harley Quinn is a dark comedy. It pokes fun at its cast all the time. Dick being dramatic and trying too hard to be like Batman is a really funny concept; I like how the show ran with it. Dick being overly confident and fucking up the chess? Honestly, pretty damn hilarious and a good in-character caricature.

It’s his subsequent breakdown that I take issue with.

Because despite someone’s best efforts, Tarantula was mentioned. And as I said before, almost every DC fan knows what Tarantula did to Nightwing.

The moment that the Blockbuster incident was brought up, Harley Quinn’s version of Nightwing became a survivor of sexual assault. You can’t separate the two incidents; trust me- DC has tried.

And so, Dick’s breakdown in the escape room gained a new, darker context. Dick’s emotional instability wasn’t just due to his allowance for Blockbuster’s death; it was also because he’d recently been raped.

Dick’s suicidal behavior wasn’t just him being overly-dramatic. And that scene became significantly less humorous with the added context of Nightwing 93.

The resolution felt really half-baked as well. Even putting the rape aside, Dick was still really traumatized by what happened with Blockbuster. His fear over his family’s reactions wasn’t addressed. The ending felt rushed and, to a degree, unsatisfactory.

I know that some of you might be saying that I’m looking too deep into this, and that it’s just a TV show. But to me, it’s not.

I have wanted DC to actually address Nightwing 93 for years. Dick Grayson has been the victim of several instances of abuse, assault, and rape. The character has endured so much trauma, and yet DC ignores it; they allowed it to happen, but they refuse to give him the time of day to actually address it.

I can’t tell you how many comments I’ve seen made by fanboys about how “lucky” Nightwing was for being raped by Tarantula and Mirage. About how his relationship with Liu wasn’t statutory rape. Etc. etc.

It’s fucking disgusting, and DC is partially to blame. By continuously making Nightwing the victim of sexual assault, and then never addressing it as such, they are sending out a very harmful message.

By never acknowledging the trauma, they’re implying that it wasn’t trauma. By ignoring the rape, they’re leaving the door open for assholes to say that it wasn’t rape to begin with.

This has real world consequences.

Male survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence, abuse, rape, etc. are constantly invalidated and ignored by society. (Non-male victims are ignored and invalidated as well; I’m just specifically discussing male victims right now.)

Boys are called lucky if their female teacher rapes them. Men are called weak if a woman rapes them. Men are emasculated if another man rapes them.

Even “safe” spaces aren’t safe for them. Most survivor resources use female-only language, thus making many men and gender non-conforming people feel unwelcome. I’ve experienced this IRL.

By never addressing the harm they caused, DC has allowed Dick Grayson to become a symbol of a silenced victim, never allowed to share his story or process his trauma.

But despite all of that, many survivors, myself included, have found comfort in Dick Grayson.

*just a warning for some trauma dumping from my own life, but it’s relevant to the topic at hand i promise*

In 2020, I moved to a new state (I live in the U.S.) I was all alone; my entire support system was over 500 miles away. Only a few weeks after I moved into my new apartment, I was sexually assaulted only a block away.

When I called my mom, she blamed me and took the time to shame me for being on testosterone. My (now ex) boyfriend blamed me and refused to visit me. My friends were only able to offer surface-level support. I was completely alone.

When I say that Nightwing saved my life, I genuinely mean it. For years by that point I’d been processing my trauma and life in general through the lenses of media and fanfiction. Reading fanfictions that actually addressed and expanded upon Nightwing 93 became my primary coping skill. I can’t thank the fanfic authors enough tbh. I projected myself onto Dick Grayson. I, a man who survived sexual assault and dissociation only to be invalidated, saw myself in that fictional character. He was more a hero in my eyes than ever before. Nightwing got me through that shit. Fanfictions that actually addressed and handled Nightwing’s trauma got me through that shit. Was that entirely healthy? No. But I didn’t have many options at that point. They kept me alive. That’s all that matters.

*ok trauma dumping is over sorry about that.*

I wish Harley Quinn had been different. I wish that the show had been the one to finally give Dick a voice in DC. I wish that it hadn’t censored out Tarantula’s name. I wish it had handled it like it handled Harley’s trauma. I wish it had given me and other survivors representation.

I wish that it hadn’t subsequently turned Dick into a suicide joke.

Approximately 33% of women who are victims of sexual assault contemplate suicide. 13% of them attempt it.

I’d give you a statistic based on male victims or a non-gendered sample, but such a study hasn’t been published. (At least, not based on 20 minutes of searching both google and academic articles.)

I understand and fully embrace that Harley Quinn is a dark comedy. It makes dark jokes, and a lot of them get a laugh out of me. But given the context of.. everything, that scene just felt in poor taste. Especially since his suicidal behavior wasn’t addressed again.

Thankfully, Harley Quinn isn’t over yet. I’m really hoping that DC will actually explore Dick’s trauma and give him a respectful, kind, long-overdue resolution to Nightwing 93.

But based on DC’s past and current behavior, I’m not getting my hopes up.

And please know, this whole rant is not me saying that Harley Quinn is a bad show or that the creative team is like Devin Grayson or that they need to be cancelled or anything like that. Not at all. I’m still going to continue watching and enjoying the show. I think it’s really good, and I love what it’s doing for Gotham characters. I blame the DC higher-ups wayyyyy more than I would ever blame the Harley Quinn team.

I just wanted to put my thoughts and frustrations out into the universe, because I’m very tired of survivors (regardless of gender) being silenced, ignored, and mocked.

[sincerelyella]

Feelings Circle

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Pairings: Liam x MC (Ella); Drake x OC (Alyssa)

Characters belong to Pixelberry; Ella Brooks belongs to me; Alyssa Devereaux belongs to @burnsoslow and is used with permission

My brand spanking new and beautiful poster for The Loft was made by the amazing @gokushairgel ❤️ she is a gem and so dang talented. Thank you for creating this masterpiece!

Summary: An AU based on the show New Girl (my favorite can you tell??) Just a collection of one-shots and shenanigans that allude to the show. This will NOT be canon, that means this won’t be in Cordonia and Liam isn’t a King. If you have watched the show before, you know they are in Los Angeles, California.

A/N: This little chapter takes place after the birthday fic I wrote for Burnsy called Lifetime. You don’t need to read that one to know what’s going on in this fic though ☺️

A/N 2: It’s been a very long time since I’ve written anything - mostly because work has been crazy and studying related to work has also taken up a lot of my time. My taglist is very old so feel free to ignore should you not want to read this mess lol

Thank you Burnsy, my tumblr and real life friend, for letting me borrow your best girl, as well as looking over this fic and not saying it completely sucked big donkey balls lol I love you.

Warnings: Adult language; sexual innuendos; some overall inappropriateness because it’s the Loft 🤷🏽‍♀️

Words: 1258

Alyssa opened the door and to her surprise saw a large package that was on the floor addressed to her. She grunted as she pulled and pushed it inside the loft. “Ella!”

A voice came from one of the rooms down the hall. “Yeah?”

“Did you order something for me again? I just returned the freaking roundabout dildo!” Lyss shut the door with her foot and crossed her arms across her chest.

“What’re you talking about? I didn’t buy anything,” Ella bounced into the living room. “What’s that?”

“I don’t know,” Lyssa bent down to take a look at the label on the box. “It says it’s from Texas.”

The girls pawed and pried open the box and saw that it was a bread maker. “A bread maker? What the fuck?” Lyssa saw a note tucked on the side and tugged on it. “It’s from Drake’s mom!” Drake and Alyssa just got engaged and FaceTimed his family and her cousins and friends to give them the news. Drake, not being too close to his mom and Aunt Leona, still felt like giving them a call about their engagement was respectful. “‘Dear Alyssa, So glad we got to meet you even though it was when you and my son were already engaged,’” Lyss read out loud. “‘Please accept this as an engagement gift, hope to meet you soon.’”

“What the fuck kind of gift is a bread maker?” Ella asked as she poked the box. “She doesn’t even know you. Why not send a toaster or coffee maker or something?”

Alyssa gasped. “Maybe she thinks I can’t take care of her son!”

Ella’s brows furrowed. “What? Why?”

“I don’t know, I heard she treated Drake and his sister like shit and abandoned them,” she explained with a wave of her hand. “So maybe this is her way of being petty. Maybe she thinks I can’t cook!”

“But you can’t,” her friend pointed out.

“That’s beside the point! She thinks I can’t take care of her only son!”

“How can you say you don’t take care of people?” Ella put her hands on her hips in a huff. “You take care of me! You’re fierce and strong and you would stand up for anyone that you love. You’re like a big, scary, protective mama bear!”

“I just make sure you don’t kill yourself when we’re drinking El,” Lyssa’s eyes watered. “What if Drake’s mom hates me?”

The girls were interrupted by the front door opening and the guys of loft 4D barged inside, already mid argument.

“If I’m not having sex in this loft, then nobody is having sex in this loft!” Leo roared as he marched towards the kitchen.

“I am so aware of my nipples right now,” Maxwell hissed as he hugged his chest tightly.

Ella and Lyss glanced at each other, then turned back to the boys. “What in the fresh hell-”

“Just don’t make any sudden movements,” Ella whispered out of the side of her mouth.

It was Liam’s turn to speak as he turned to his fiancé. “Love, did you know about this?”

“I’m sorry, I have no idea what’s happening right now. I need context.”

Leo ripped open a box of condoms, dumped them onto the kitchen island, and pulled open drawers.

“What the fuck is going on?” Lyssa asked as she turned to Drake.

“I’ll tell you what the fuck is going on!” Leo answered as he lifted up what he was looking for - a pair of scissors. “I’m going to cut all these condoms up!”

Drake, Max, and Liam lunged toward Leo, Drake reaching him first and tackling him to the ground. Max kicks the scissors away from him and Liam tries to pull his best friend off of his brother.

“Get ahold of yourself, you crazy oaf,” Drake grunted as he struggled against Liam’s strong hold. “Just because you fucked up and aren’t getting laid anymore doesn’t mean you can fuck it up for all of us!”

Leo huffed, his face red. “If any one of you try to have sex up in this loft I’ll body block! No love making! All love making will cease!”

“Everybody shut up!” Ella screamed. Everyone went silent and turned their attention to the small woman in front of them. “All of you, just shut up and sit down at the table. We’re going to talk about this like adults.”

Alyssa grinned. “I’ll get the-”

“Aw,” Maxwell whined. “Not the-”

“You bet your ass!” Lyss waved the feelings stick in his face. As a teacher, she brought home a lot of popsicle sticks, yarn, felt tipped markers, and crayons. But the feelings stick was used religiously in case they needed to have a loft meeting. The girls usually bring it out when there are some kind of feelings involved and the guys don't want to talk about it.

“Feelings stick is in effect,” Ella began as everyone took a seat, grumbling as they went. “You know the rules, one person speaks at a time and no interrupting.”

“Everyone deserves to be heard at the table,” Alyssa continued as she stood behind her new fiancé and bent down to kiss his cheek.

Ella plopped herself onto Liam’s lap, his arms automatically settling around her hips. “Who wants to go first?”

Maxwell reached for the feelings stick now in the middle of the table. “We all were at the store and Leo saw Hana there with another guy. He got upset and jealous and was trying to follow them down the aisles! As a distraction, I told him that the store ran out of cheddar cheese blocks and he went into some kind of rage and twisted my nipples,” he turned to look at Leo as he wrapped a free arm around his chest. “That really hurt and now I’m pretty sure you ripped some chest hair out of my skin.”

Leo snatched the feelings stick out of Max’s hand. “I felt like that was the wrong time to yell about my favorite cheese, and you knew how distraught I’d been over my … situation with Hana!”

Drake leaned over the table and grabbed the feelings stick from Leo. “I feel like you are being a real bitch about this Hana issue, Rys!“ Alyssa and Ella flinched at the harsh words; Leo’s face turned a dark red color. “You cheated, and she dumped you. Come to terms with it and fucking let it go!”

Liam held his hand out towards Drake, motioning for the feelings stick, and like a baton, Drake passed it over. “Leo, I don’t think it’s fair that you purposely bought condoms for everyone with a plan to just cut them up since we’re all in relationships and you’re not.”

A knock on the door interrupted their feelings circle. Alyssa walked over, flung the door open and her brows raised in surprise to see Hana on the other side. “Hana! Hey … uh, what’s up?”

Wringing her hands together, Hana gave her friend a nervous smile. “Hi Lyss, is Leo here?”

A screeching of a chair and stomping of feet sounded a moment later, and an out of breath Leo stood at the door next to Lyssa. “Hi! Hana … hi! How are you?”

“Leo …” Hana chewed on the inside of her cheek.

An awkward silence settled between the two and Lyss became increasingly uncomfortable. “I’m … just going to walk away,” she bent down under Leo’s arm that was holding the door open and scampered off.

“Did you want to come in?” Leo asked softly.

Hana nodded. “I think we should talk.”