#not sure what the hell I'm after here!
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idk why I'm shocked but it gets me every time
#wipmoy#wip rambles#wip's doodles#why can't everyone be like me where they respond to a smutfic talking about worldbuilding#...THOUGH the three fics I published don't have any of that so like#one of the fics is literally tagged “characters are incidental they have nothing to do with canon this is just kink”#not sure what the hell I'm after here!#I keep thinking “I should write more smut!” and then I look at my smut wips and go “these all suck”#and then don't think about it for 2 months#“wip why do you want to write more smut” I have 2 public things on my profile#one of them is kink I don't want people to comment on and the other is old I don't remember#the third one is anonymized for a reason
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Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?
Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?
It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3
Glad you asked
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#cw homophobia#i know there are a couple of people who enjoy my rambly tags so these are for u#first of all anon i'm sorry i used your request to continue my story lol#most of my comics are meant to be standalones BUT#the doom patrol and dead girl detectives are all happening in the same universe#and there is indeed series of events here!#this particular one is happening after dp!edwin's feelings were exposed but before they met the girls#with that out of the way#i know this is not as funny as most of my stuff#but dp!edwin's internalized homophobia is an important thign that can't just go away because his charles loves him back#and he does love him back! in this verse#dp!charles is the only one not struggling with his feelings for his partner#dbd!charles and charlotte still have ways to go#also dbd!edwin is in no way an expert in self-acceptance but he has learned some things#i considered having him mention simon but i decided it wasn't his place to out him#(even though he's dead u know)#so yeah what he says here isn't... great#he's still putting himself down and he's still not sure if his feelings for charles are actually a good thing#but he knows HE is glad he feels this way#because fuck it it's not like he'll go to hell for it#and even if he did... he would crawl his way out
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I haven't stopped thinking about zolu after wano bc isn't it crazy that zoro, as enma's new wielder, has declared he might as well become the king of hell and it turns out he's a descendant of the shimotsuki/frost moon family line, making him a descendant of shimotsuki ryuma the god of the blade whom he resembles physically, whose sword zoro earned after defeating his zombie in thriller bark and who's considered a hero of wano that's only rivaled now by joy boy - luffy's sun god nika the warrior of liberation and joy. that both zoro's presence and luffy's df awakening as nika/joy boy in wano were considered the "work of fate". how zoro was luffy's first crewmate, one he actively sought after learning just his name and fearsome reputation. the whole pirate king and greatest swordsman business. their parallels to roger and ray. how they both have the will of kings/conquerors. I feel insane
#zolu#tp#I am extremely fascinated by this turn of events ngl I'm not sure if something's being cooked here#(in the manga I mean) but the food sure smells good#like what the hell is this#also I just caught up with the manga to the most recent chapter so thinking abt these two is the balm I need rn#after all those ahem. very recent dark turns. I love OP so much it's so good#I also think it's funny that zoro's birth month lowkey spoiled his family origins lmao#considering what shimotsuki most commonly means apparently#and I mentioned it in the long wano post I made but#the mix of fate and choice wrt zolu is just. really good
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do we think sammy has told yaz that her family isn't speaking to her
#i'm not sure how the timeline works here#because if bumpy was really the catalyst for sammy's family cutting ties with her#then it likely was after yaz left for wyoming#so maybe sammy didn't want yaz to worry about her on top of her own ptsd#or maybe she just didn't want to bring it up so she wouldn't have to face it#i need to know what the hell happened there#the writers just threw that line at us and then said nothing#s2 where are you /lh#sammy gutierrez#yasmina fadoula#c rambles about jwcc#jwct#jurassic world chaos theory#chaos theory
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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#and i SADDLE UP MY PONYTA AND I RIDE INTO THE SIT-TAY#I MAKE A LODDA NOISE CUZ THE GURLS THEY R SO PRETAY#RIDIN' UP N DOWN BROADWAY ON MY OLD STUD LEROY AND THE GIRLS SAY:#SAVE A RAPIDASH RIDE A MEOWBOY!!!#JOHN WAYNE AINT GOT NUTHIN ON MY FRINGE GAME HELL NO!!!!#well stranger don't ya know i'd like to be yer friend... IF I HAD THE TIME TO STAAAAAAY.#BUT I'M A BRAMBLIN A BLOWIN IN THE WIND. I'VE GOT TO CATCH ANOTHER STAAAAAAAAGE.#I STRAP ON MY GUITAR JUST LIKE A FORTY FIVE. I PRAY EACH NIGHT MY AIM IS TRUUUUEEEE#and ACQUAINTANCES TURN TO FRIENDS I HOPE THOSE FRIENDS THEY REMEMBER ME#HOLD THE NIGHT FOR RANSOM AS WE KIDNAP THE MEMORIES#NOT SURE THERES A WAY TO EXPRESS WHAT U MEANT TO ME#SOMETIMES I GET TO THINKIN BOUT SETTLIN' DOWN. FADE OFF INTO A MEMORY.#BUT EVERY NIGHT THAT I STEP OUT TO FACE THE CROWD?#I KNOW THIS IS THE LIFE FOR MEEEEEEE#pokemon#meowth#ok context. to whomever it may concern. which is no one but idc i have a lot to say and no one to say it to#first off heres my like bi-annual post bc i 1. only draw f*rdekyl* and fucking detest f*re *emblem fans with a burning passion#so i hate sharing my 'art' . so heres a rare non-fk thing. bc i also hate social media as a whole it makes me sue of side all#but like 2. i have deliberately avoided scar/vio bc its a BAD GAME. and its not made well. also i know 'open world' formats#trigger my ocd. which it did exactly. but thats mostly irrelevant. but in anycase. i bit the bullet bc i was in a pkmn mood#esp after my long beloved n*te and dook*ie gave me a hankering for a pkmn game again#and my lil bro accidentally bought 2 copies years ago so i was like fck it ill give it a shot its Free#and yes the game is dogshit. however. everytime i see a meowth in the wild i lose my mind.#his jaunty little yee-haw walk kills me every time. i adore him. thus this was inspired.#alright imma head out i fucking hate this website as well as every other social media . maybe ill draw something non-fk in like a year#see ya in like a year maybe if i live that long. which i wouldnt count on bc tbh this year has been BAD in terms of my pain. im on the#EXTREME decline and can BARELY draw anymore. i want to die. i got nothin left. it just keeps getting worse so adios!#:(
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with all these gaston crackships/rarepairs that are coming out lately it would be so fucking funny if he had a flig with all the main characters (ambar, nina, simon... hell luna too if you want) and they all know it except matteo
#mf would feel so betrayed once he finds out#and not because he's jealous or anything - or maybe yes (they kinda have a vibe between them if you get what i mean)#mainly because his best friend didn't tell him#gaston would 100% use “you didn't ask” with a shit-eating grin while shrugging his shoulder#he would have the time of his life making fun of matteo reaction lol#and matteo would also lowkey be insecure (understandable because gaston was probably a better boyfriend for all those people [real])#[from here on i'm gonna yap but like... YAP - get ready]#type of flings/situationships/whatever i think he had:#LUNA/GASTON : [barely a fling/ a kinda relationship (?)] - them just trying it out for the hell of it#they had a lot of fun and it strengthened their friendship#they never talk about it unless they're sure that they're by themselves#gaston sometimes reminiscences about it in front of others(to make luna panic/embarass)but in such a vague enough way that they don't get i#it always comes off as them play-fighting#it either happened before he and nina got together (which is what i'm running with for this post) or they did it after she left#because they were the closest to her and were the only people that could understand what it meant to lose nina#(luna also dated her in the past by this point)#GASTON/NINA: [literally canon and one of the main ships] so i don't have to explain it i guess#GASTON/SIMON: [was a “they were all in their feelings” during those moments - kind of deal]#that scene i reposted the other day is a good way to pinpoint when they started to actually eye eachothers /put a start to what they had#it ended two or three months later - don't know who put an end to it between them#but it wasn't a problem because they both had something else they wanted to focus on more - they're extremely chill about this#GASTON/AMBAR: [kinda the same - got to know eachother when they were kids and became extremely close (even tho it took A BIT since#even if gaston came from a good family ambar was still as standoffish as now (and also a bit shy even if she wouldn't admit it)]#gaston was the one that did the first step#at that point ambar actually never stopped to think about dating in general but especially him#but the idea of losing him as a friend for something so stupid as a relationship terrified her#he reassured her that whatever happened nothing between them would've changed#which was real but also not really#they ended up breaking up a year and a half later and became a bit awkward around eachothers for a bit (mostly because of ambar)#they're still cordial with eachothers
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Wait crying again bc I was rewatching The Intruder today (episode 4 of season 1) and I realized that like. The glyphs represent a few things in the narrative but one thing that's consistent is they're always there when Luz doesn't feel like she's good enough on her own. They appear to her as comfort in moments of self depreciation or self doubt, or she coincidentally learns them in episodes where she faces her fear of rejection or makes a mistake (at least this is true in terms of the first four base glyphs she discovers). It's the titans way of saying "you may have to do things differently, but you can do anything they can do" to Luz bc he cares about her
AND THEN. IN WATCHING AND DREAMING. WHEN THE TITAN PASSES ON AND THE GLYPHS DON'T WORK ANYMORE. IT'S BECAUSE NOW LUZ FINALLY FEELS LIKE SHE'S GOOD ENOUGH, ALL ON HER OWN. SHE'S LEARNED THAT SHE HAS INTRINSIC WORTH AS A PERSON AND SHE DOESN'T NEED TO MAKE UP FOR WHO SHE IS. SHE MIGHT DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY BUT SHE CAN DO EVERYTHING ANOTHER WITCH CAN DO- THIS TIME WITH HER OWN, MORE PERSONAL ACCESSIBILITY TOOL (HER PALISMEN) INSTEAD OF THE ONE THE TITAN GAVE HER. MAN!!!!!
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#toh#toh meta#luz noceda#the glyphs are there for everyone who doesn't feel good enough#eda and lilith after losing their magic...the kids overcome with exhaustion and fear in watching and dreaming#hell you could even argue that philip uses them to cope with the unspeakable horror that these non-person witches-#-could be better than him at something! gasp! the audacity!#he uses them to harm and co-opts the titans language to make sure that no witch could have a chance of thinking they're better than him#(bc again. philip is not afraid of witches. he hates this. his background is not a literal investigation into Christian superstition-#-it is a non-literal parallel to modern day conservatives.)#(they're afraid of what they don't understand but much more than that they hate it-#-that's why you can't change their opinions solely w/ rhetoric and argument)#ANYWAY. I've heard some ppl stressing over the amount of ppl being vocally negative in the maintag recently#and i see it too. think it's just a thing that happens when shows end? ppl pop out of the woodwork to be like#''well i never liked it in the first place!''#like. okay. good for you ig#anyway i hope this sparks some joy in the maintag instead#that's all I'm here to do#i stopped watching the episode to type this post i should go finish it
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dip pen ink comm second round for in order R. Burry, @sega-bass-kissing, and Solaris
#bakuspecial#commission art#and thats round 2 concluded!#once again sorry it took a Lot longer than round 1 lol#its just. sometimes there are things up here#which is why (mentioning this again in an actually relevant post lol) I'm gonna leave my next week off from this!#round 3 will open sometimes AFTER this sunday. my rest of the week will be for other business I gotta take care of#tbh what I'm doing with ink here is kind of the equivalent of like. picking up someone's dog and running off#nobody knows whats going on or is gonna happen. but I am doing it nonetheless#now tho. maybe I should nap for a bit more. itd help#thank you again to folks who've bought a slot thus far! hope everyone's enjoying whatever the hells Im doing dskjfhdsjfh#I sure am uh. figuring it out. it is fun but then I'm the one with the dog in my arms#have a good night! maybe u should have an animal of choice in ur arms too. would recommend
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Balancing my need for JayTim content - because the good Robin/bad Robin dichotomy is delicious and I'm mentally unwell - with my urge to block Tim on every platform because his fans piss me tf off
#Jace speaks#Y'all keep trying to make the street kid who was homeless and lived on the street be sympathetic for the rich boy#And that's not what I'm here for#It's boring and a waste of everyone's time#Tim was literally made to be the antithesis of Jason#Except he's just like him#Batman has a type after all#Doesn't matter that Tim sought out Bruce#If anything Tim solidifies the trend#Because he's able to stick around#But I digress#Give me JayTim who are way more similar to one another than they want to admit#Jason sees Tim as some dime a dozen rich boy who never had to work for anything a day in his life#Tim sees Jason as an ungrateful loser who can't see what he's throwing away on childish anger#Fuck AWF with that fanon bullshit#If you like it I love it#I guess#But don't y'all ever get tired?!#Cause I sure as hell do#Tim Drake is wasted on his fans#They don't see his potential the way I do#Jason Todd#Tim Drake
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God why is my mother such a terrible human being
#ollie talks.txt#ollie vents.txt#I'm just not getting better while I live here#no matter how hard I try to move past it she's still digging it up#she's still trying to justify hitting a 10 year old child#she still thinks she's the fucking victim here#I think I'd feel safer on a mindfield that I do in a room with her#it's really just gonna fucking be like this isn't it?#abusers who 'get better' never really let go of it. they still think they're in the right. now they're just afraid you cat hurt them back#why do I still love her. my fatal flaw is the fact that I still love her. she made me into a hollow husk of a person who attempted suicide#at 11 and I still love her. she told me I'll die if I ever leave her house and I still love her. she told me I'll die a drug addict on the#street and I still love her. she ripped my favourite clothes apart because I didn't wabt to do my homework and I still loved her#she never let me leave the house until I was 14 and I still love her. she told me I'd be raped and kidnapped if I did like it's a normal#thing to say to a child and I still love her. she told me I'm the only friend she has and I still love her.#how am I supposed to be normal about love after this? is it even love or just complacency? I'm not even sure anymore#just fucking stop. why can't you be normal. why must you dig and dig into my trauma until I lash out and hurt you#yeah I do wish I was never born! but I can't say that to your fucking face because you say you'll slit your throat if I do say it!#who the fuck do you think you are? what gives you the right to do this to me?#you're not trying to be better for my sake you're just haunted by the guilt of what you did and want to be oh such a good parent#guess what you don't get that. you don't get that privilege. not after what you did you have blood on your hands and it'll ALWAYS stay there#you'll die and I'll remember you for the abusive and cruel and violent and hateful person you were to me#I don't fucking care about your child trauma. you can guilt me into feeling sorry for you anymore. feeling sorry for you never made you#change. if you were capable of it you'd done it at this point.#cptsd is truly one hell of a drug. I'll never have children. never
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Can't believe after the amount of shit talk that I did after this announcement, my dad pulled og steven from the ticket scout for me... the coincidence is insane lmao 😭
#yes i've taken a long nap afterwards and i'm still pissed. yes i'm now on the fence about pulling lance despite how much i love his chara#i have the gems to hit that stupid 500 scout point for at least one arc suit alt but the question here is: do i want to spend that much gem#hell. do i even want to enable dena's greed when lance in the trainer lodge is more than enough for me? do i want to waste 50k gems for him#whatever happened to anniversaries being the chance for the game to give back to the fans. this is so ass man. everyone's mad (even jp fans#thanks for showing that you care more about the money than your fanbase and driving yourself into eos i guess! 😭 what a wacky move#i actually do love the game which makes this anni feel like a slap to the face. lazy designs and not even new pokemon to pair them with? 💀#yeah i can actually see myself letting go of the game in the future now... dena's making sure that it'll happen somehow lmao#never thought there'd be a wackier anni than the nc kantrio ones lmaooo. what is going on with their dev teams man. disappointing as hell#the worst part of it all is how they ruined my excitement for a new lance alt lmao 😭 like! this is what i get after waiting for months!#he still looks like wingstop honey mustard with those colors... and they can't even to do more modifications to his jumpsuit. devastating 💔#personal#rant
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for months now i have had this little story idea bouncing around in my head for an AU of Jetpack Joyride where Barry is stuck inside a big expermental time loop conducted by Legitimate Research to create an army of randomly selected time-travelling soldiers. the idea is very much still rough and i dunno if and when i'll develop it into a bigger thing, but it's a pretty cool idea and it's a twist on the JJ game that i've never really seen much exploration on.
basically, it focuses on Barry, who is the sort of Patient Zero of an experimental concentrated time-fuckery technology LR is working on. every single day, at exactly the same time, Barry goes out to work his salesman job, discovers the jetpack, breaks into the laboratory, takes it for a joyride, eventually gets hit by an obstacle and dies. the next day, Barry goes out to work his salesman job, discovers the jetpack, breaks into the lab, takes it for a joyride and dies. and he does the same exact thing the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day... he's pretty much stuck in a loop of the exact same events happening repeatedly every single day, and he has absolutely no idea about it. that is, until there's a glitch in the system, and Barry progressively becomes a lot more suspicious and paranoid about the situation he's in. the rest of this post is gonna be REALLY spoilery (like i literally just explain big important chunks of the story for several paragraphs) if i ever make this into a full-fledged fanfic, so i'm gonna put it under a keep reading thingy. also it is... quite long and convoluted lol.
as the story goes on, it focuses more on the mental degredation of Barry as he starts uncovering all these weird clues, slowly trying to piece together what's going on and driving himself insane, because every time a reset occurs, his memory of the previous loop ever happening is completely wiped and everything he did that day goes all the way back to square one. since the malfunctioning of LR's technology though, Barry has been getting little nuggets of deja vu and half-remembered fragments of dying before a reset. this eventually becomes him repeating things to himself, little phrases and codes over and over and over in hopes that it will persist into the next reset. this eventually becomes symbols stuck up on the walls of his room and then progresses to entire rituals to help him remember and little behaviourisms like tics and stims to let him know he's in another loop. he becomes more and more panicked and unsettled, paranoid that someone - or something - is watching him closely. additionally, he keeps having disturbing dreams in the early hours of the morning before he gets up to go to work, ones that are symbolic and prophetic, as if they're trying to warn him about something. i've had concepts of him waking up on top of a pile of millions of mangled carcasses that all look exactly like Barry, and having on them them forcefully grab onto his leg and pull him down with the rest of them. it's kinda like the nightmare Woody has in Toy Story 2, but like, dead guys everywhere, lol.
the backstory of this whole thing is kinda insane. basically, Legitimate Research is a sketchy government funded facility that's doing secret time experiments to create the strongest beings for a purpose that's somewhat similar to Brains' Zomb Bomb plan from AOZ (i haven't fully decided yet). Barry is someone who has been randomly selected for their newest version of the concentrated time loop experiment, where patients will be put under looping tests to extract data about their strength, agility and performance and decide what they need to supplement them with in order to create the perfect soldier.
Barry was 22 years old when he was selected. he was actually a relatively normal local Fish N' Chips vendor living in New South Wales, but one day, when he recieved an exciting letter in the mail about a new ambitious job opportunity, he completely disappeared without a trace and seemed to have been entirely erased from the minds of everyone he had ever known. Barry had actually been kidnapped and ensnared into a mind-experiments facility of the laboratory, where they proceeded to wipe his mind, proof of his existence and his entire personhood up to this point, and replaced all of it with fake memories to fill in the gaps. he was then placed in stasis and to be injected with high doses of strength drugs as they crafted a new life for him behind the scenes. a new house, in a new state, all with new stories and memorabilia meant to be lived out by new person. now, he was Barry Steakfries in Queensland, a rough-around-the-edges guy with a passion for action movies and destruction. he was a revel with a thirst for chaos and freedom, but he just didn't have the means to achieve it yet. it was all according to plan.
a big part of the story i want to tell that involves him is that at some point, Barry tries to break free from the time loop by doing something different. this takes a lot of pre-planning, memory rituals and repeating details to himself, but after he wakes up from a reset and gets out of bed, he hesitates, choosing to go to a different place to sell his gramophones that day. he deliberately tries his best to avoid Legitimate Research's headquarters as much as he can, and while he doesn't completely remember why he's doing it, he has a deep gut feeling that he should stay away from them at all costs. so he does. and at first, it goes well. the day is different, his choices seem to actually matter and for once, the feeling of deja vu isn't tearing him apart... until a crazy freak accident happens that forces Barry to die and reset the time loop again, wiping away everything he had done that day. Legitimate Research is now forcefully trying to stop him from knowing what the hell is going on by forcing him to die with each now discovery he makes, and Barry has to figure out more and more creative solutions to averting their surveillance and trying to get the hell out of the loop.
Craig will also be involved with the story too!! i'm not exactly sure what exactly the events leading up to Barry discovering and meeting him would be, but it'd be kinda halfway-late-ish into the story where Barry manages to cut off LR's surveillance of him, breaks into the laboratory and searches through its archives for anything relating to time. during this raid, he accidentally discovers the true Patient Zero to this time experiment: a broken, decrepit shell of a man who has been hooked up to a set of wires and locked away deep into the laboratory, never meant to be discovered by anyone, only known simply as #000 'Craig'. Craig was the very first human they used to run an early prototype of these experiments, but through malfunctions in the threads of LR's technology, he ended up knowing too much and tried to break free from his time loop, which resulted in him being dragged out of reality and becoming completely detached from his own time, stopping his aging process completely and practically allowing him to exist forever and persistently through every reset unaffected. LR relocated him and considered him a catastrophic failure, locking him away in a cell deep in the bowels of the laboratory before destroying and erasing every archive of him ever having existed in any point in time. and now, the same thing is about to happen to Barry if he doesn't figure out a way to stop what's happening quickly. Barry, outisde of LR, is the only one who is aware of Craig's existence in this timeline. Barry makes a vow to make sure that he will never ever forget Craig, no matter what happens to him, no matter how many times his timeline gets reset, because he is the only other person on the whole world who truly understands what he's going through.
at the very end of the story, when Barry finally escapes the time loop and is about to enter into a new reality where none of this ever happened, he reaches out a hand to Craig and offers he come with him to live. Craig, however, rejects the offer, sadly confessing to Barry that because of his disconect from the threads of time progression itself, Craig must stay behind and be erased along with everything inside this one and let Barry live his life. Barry protests, insisting that his life wouldn't be complete without him and that they've already gone through so much together, but Craig assures him that this is the best for the both of them, and that Barry must leave him soon before the window to escape closes. Barry gives Craig once last goodbye, holding him close and basking in his presence for the final time. he closes his eyes, presses his head against Craig's and whispers "I promise I'll never forget you." before he slowly lets him go, not breaking their locked gaze on each other for even a second as he steps into the portal and ventures into an entirely new reality, never to return.
i want there to be an epilogue part where Barry starts his new life and goes looking for a place to stay, and he comes across the place where LR used to be, which is instead occupied with a big square fence plot and a sign that says "UNDER CONSTRUCTION: NEW RESTAURANT TO BE BUILT". Barry stares at it for a moment and reflects on everything that has happened. all the hellish experiments that were once held inside this very plot of land, all the trauma he went through to get to this point, Craig's sacrifice, everything has lead up to him standing here, in the right place, at the right time, to finally live the life he should've had to begin with. eventually, he turns away, continuing to walk down the street. he should go check that place out sometime.
(insert "what a fucked up dream for a baby to have" ending from 'then what' here)
#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#fanfic idea#alternate universe#this is really just an idea dump post. y'know just throwing eggs everywhere and hoping one sticks to something#also i like how every au idea i've had for jetpack joyride always involves a deep queer-coded relationship between barry and craig#the aoz total apocalypse au has them go through hell together and become closer bfs who would die for each other as a result#the timeloop au has barry and craig destined to find each other but are separated from each others' timelines and must eventually let go-#-of their bond with each other and have barry sacrifice the existence of craig so he can go on and live a normal life without him#the toni/revenge au is literally just barry and craig/toni having a messy breakup ffs lmaooo#every au i'm making for this game is so unequivocally gay and i love that#we got the 'i'd kill for u' gay. we got the tragic destiny love story gay. we got the bad blood by taylor swift gay. it's all here#now that i think about it the relationship that barry and craig have in timeloop kinda reminds me of kirk and spock always being destined-#-to find each other across space and time.....#i will make sure every au i make deliberately goes out of its way to have something so very gay in it and you can trust my word on that#i wanna draw all three of my au barrys at group therapy with each other sharing their traumas#and canon barry is just there looking at them like ''what the fuck happened to you people....'' lmaoo#toni/revenge au barry: my bf turned evil and broke up with me...#timeloop barry: my bf literally got erased from existence for me...#total apocalypse barry: .... my bf is a hardened professional zombie hunter. wtf is happening in your universes???#canon barry: *taking a slow sip of coffee with an extremely concerned look on his face*#anyway yeah. barry is stuck inside a timeloop and that's why jj always starts the same way after you die#not even kidding this whole au was spawned from me playing the game again in late 2022 and thinking ''hey isn't it interesting-#-how barry always dies at the end but then bursts through the wall again just fine when you start again? like a loop? hmmm''#i'm gonna sleep now. it is. 11 pm and i have been writing this for god knows how long. good night snoorrrkk mimimimj
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I can just see it now, I'll get asked by my manager what I mean by saying my period started "unexpectedly" when I come in tomorrow and she'll probably also say, again, that many people just deal with it when it hurts, you know, why not just push through it??
Ma'am they stOPPED REFILLING MY BIRTH CONTROL PRESCRIPTION THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CONSISTENTLY TAKEN UNTIL SOME TIME NEXT SUMMER, IT WAS UNE X PEC TE D
#[screaming into the void]#yeah idk what happened with this one the auto refill thing was supposed to go thru today but now it's like#oh u don't have ANY refills left!! contact ur doctor!!!#and I'm sitting here like my doctor told me to take this continuously FOR THE NEXT 6 MONTHS#DOES THIS NOT MEAN I HAVE ADEQUATE REFILLS FOR THE PRESCRIBED TREATMENT PLAN???!#anyway everything hurts and i didn't even get to like.. properly prepare myself for it#didn't they have a study recently about the covid vaccines and menstrual issues bc I'm pretty sure it fucked me up#like. the covid vaccines are very necessary things. given the choice I'd still choose to be vaccinated.#but also my insane period issues started after the first round of vaccines ;;w;;#not that my menstrual cycles have ever been particularly normal or bearable but yknow when it gets worse it gets worse#anyway. just. dealing w what will inevitably be questioning hell and the guilt to follow after#this is all right before evaluations week too so that's a good look
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i have got to get medicated again this is getting out of handddd
#fisherman's ramblings#this is light enough that it can go on main idc#but just got hit with a wave of horrible Depression Feels and it's like. wow okay i was literally just sitting here. my day was good.#where the hell did you come from#AT LEAST IT'S NOT PSYCHOSIS (hopefully) THO FUCKKK THAT SHIT#hopefully the doc was right and my psychosis delulu shit will subside if i treat the depression. we'll see#same with adhd i gotta get that sorted out. if i want to do school stuff.#i never did find meds that worked tho!! so. we'll fuckin seeeee!!!!#shout-out to the doc at the ward who just gave me an atrocious amount of adhd meds to the point where i'm pretty sure she just could've put#me on tranquilizers and had the exact same effect#i was out of it for actual days even after i got out of there... why did she do that....#the ``symptom`` she was trying to treat was an extension of paranioa. from the psychotic episode i was having#so naturally the fuckin?? adhd meds didn't work LMAOO??#SO SHE JUST KEPT UPPING MY DOSE??#girlypop what was the REASONNN#sorry didn't mean to ramble in the tags.#actually no this is my blog i can do what i want
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in tears why is my writing so unorganized. i was trying to look at some of my old notes and half written scenes from dare(d) and there are literally like fucking 5 DIFFERENT opening scenes in various locations and I just. how many times did I rewrite the start of this fic?????
#a LOT apparently jesus fuck#im on my phone which certainly Doesn't Help At All#I'm probably be looking more at this tomorrow after work#bc holy hell man. whats happening.#i just wanna read one of the scenes!! i wanna read just the one!!!#but i can't find it cjskjdjs#wip: parallels#wip: dare(d) to do it#im pretty sure i stopped using that tag but I'll use it here anyway#shh ac
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