#one of the fics is literally tagged “characters are incidental they have nothing to do with canon this is just kink”

[wipmoy]

idk why I'm shocked but it gets me every time

[grayintogreen]

[gently pushes pause on “this is a Critical Role blog” except bold of anyone to assume that I won’t change gears once a week, depending on what’s airing.]

Okay, so DAMN this episode had everything and I’ve usually been waiting for the dub and just reading summaries and watching clips for Yashahime but I plan on writing a few fics in this fandom for Februwhump (whaaaat), so I need to catch up and what better way to do so than watching the latest because BOY DID IT HAVE EVERYTHING.

What’s that, Chris? You like your stoic badass characters who care for like five people total who spent an entire series being the most selfish fuck known to god and man and then came into the sequel swinging that character development to get FUCKED UP because they were PROTECTING their loved ones?? Oh okay, here you go. Like GODDAMN.

(Also I love how Kirinmaru called back to that Inu-Papa “women and children shouldn’t be on a battlefield” thing while Sesshoumaru is literally standing behind him, taking a fucking breather and not yelling at the girls for tagging in, like damn way to drink the respect women and children juice there, Sess. He was like “oh my GOD Moroha why didn’t you RUN it’s like dealing with Mini-Inuyasha over here” but still let her do her shit and only stepped in when Kirinmaru was about to nuke his family and called them brats.

CAPTAIN BLOOD PRIVILEGE OVER HERE LIKE “HEY HERE’S AN ACTUAL EMOTION BECAUSE YOU CALLED MY DAUGHTERS AND NIECE A NAME.”)

Points were deducted from this episode because while my mama-loving heart did break down into sobbing bitch baby tears about Moroha and Kagome, I am still tapping my GODDAMN WATCH over Rin not getting to see her daughters, like come on man. The girl just got out of a tree and now her babies are in the Netherworld and her husband is literally engaged in a callback to the Night They Met what with the unconscious sprawl in the woods thing.

(I don’t know what a haku is in this context, but can it be solved by dumping water on his head? Because Rin can do that. She can do that good.)

Incidentally, loving Rin in the preview just standing in her shift and bare feet in front of Jaken, Takechiyo (who she has NEVER MET), and probably Sesshoumaru’s creepily glowing comatose body so Kirinmaru can’t get past her like this girl. THIS ABSOLUTE FIVE FOOT NOTHING OF A QUEEN.

I feel like given the opening, we’re about to head into a “pretend to be the villain of the piece, get a corruption arc” thing with Sesshoumaru, which... YES. YES, I AM EXCITED ABOUT. As long as he doesn’t die. If Sess dies of this and the end result is not every member of the Doggo Clan tackling his dumb ass into the ground and loving him back into whatever his definition of sense is, then what was the point. He’s the only member of the Sesshomaru Clan besides Towa that still has a Get Out of Death Card Free card, and I STAND by my “Sess is gonna get revived by the Tenseiga” theory and you can pry it from my cold fingers. I wrote the fic. I spoke it into existence, which, uh, given how fucking bad I am at theorizing (like seriously I am the opposite of Apollo’s gift of prophecy- no matter how well thought out my theories are THEY ARE NEVER TRUE, BUT GIVE ME THIS ONE.)

Anyway. LOVE THAT SHIPPO IS FINALLY GONNA SHOW AT LONG LAST... and has not aged a day. I mean it’s been 18 years, but Teen Shippo was everyone’s theory for awhile. But I mean the HUMANS have barely aged in 18 years, even the ones NOT stuck in time displacement, so keeping Shippo still Baby makes sense.

Also BOY did this season (mostly the new opening though let’s be real) come for my entire life with the Riku/Towa. I was pretty content to just ship the Old Hotness and leave the kiddos to being cute and sibling-y and GOD way to hit a dozen of my tropes. I’m hoping “Riku dies if Kirinmaru dies” (which oh my god YASHAHIME THAT TROPE IS GETTIN REAL OLD) is gonna be the new Kohaku Will Die Without the Jewel Shard and that’ll get resolved somehow. Like come on, let Towa and Riku be the GNC as fuck ship of dreams.

Anyway, looking forward to at least ONE adorable family reunion next week... and also finding out why the fuck Sesshoumaru is how he is right now and what’s that gonna do.

[aethersea]

you know what, I never do these things, but actually I’ve decided I would like to get to know people better! I would like to partake of the mortifying ordeal! I would like to talk about myself for a bit!

ok for the next...let’s say five days I will answer any of these things that people tag me in, or any random personal questions you plop in my ask box. I don’t have an ask meme on hand but just....pick one you’ve seen recently, or make up questions of your own, and I’ll answer. (the answer might be ‘nope that’s private’ but I will answer.) (@ the anon who asked for book recs - I see you, I’ve been thinking of books all day, I’m going to give you SUCH a long answer, I hope you don’t regret your choices bc it WILL be full of gushing)

alright, let’s go!

🌻 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @booksandchainmail​

Last Song: I’m currently listening to “Falcon in the Dive” from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical on loop. I watched one or two Scarlet Pimpernel movies when I was just barely too young to fully get what was going on, and the story’s held an odd but deep-seated place in my heart ever since. A few years ago I found out there’s a musical and most of the songs are pretty stellar (go listen to “Madame Guillotine” if you like big ensemble broadway numbers, it’s a banger, the bit where he cries out for God has been running through my mind on and off for a few days now haha not like that’s topical or anything), so every once in a while I spend a few days listening to them a lot.

Sometime last year I read the actual book, and got super into the whole concept of the Scarlet Pimpernel for a while. I plotted out Pimpernel aus for several fandoms, I read the entire wikipedia article, and I went looking for bootlegs of the musical. I didn’t find one, but I did find a full radioplay-style recording of the script, complete with full musical numbers, and listened to it like a podcast.

Reader, I was so disappointed. The play adds some scenes, bc a lot of the dramatic tension of the novel comes from internal conflict and that doesn’t stage super well, and the very first scene of this play – a play written in the NINETIES – features our dashing hero rescuing some aristocrats from a French prison, and then saying to the person in the next cell, who begs for rescue but is not an aristocrat, “We have enough of your kind in England.”

Enough! of your KIND! What in the merry frickety HECK my dudes!! The book has some rather unfortunate™ takes but it is from 1905, it’s regrettable but sadly to be expected. This play is from 1997. It has NO excuse. This scene wasn’t even in the book! What! the heck!

I was so disheartened that I lost my excitement for the play, and a couple songs later I stopped listening. It occurred to me just a few days ago that you could actually stage that ironically, with the person in the cell giving the audience a “can you believe this” look, and then the rest of the play could feature assorted non-aristocratic ensemble members constantly looking at the audience like they’re on The Office. And hey, maybe that’s what they did, or something similar – maybe that was never meant to be taken as a cleanly heroic stance, and the play deals with it in a complex way. It’s possible. I wouldn’t know. Kinda doubt it though, based on song lyrics.

Favorite Color: red, probably

Last Movie: I watched that new lesbian christmas movie with my family for christmas, the one with kirsten stewart and the guy from schitt’s creek. it’s very sweet and good and kinda sad, and I really enjoyed it. it also incidentally has the best gay best friend trope in probably anything ever, bc it’s not a trope (I didn’t realize until several hours after watching that it technically fits), it’s just a guy who is the protagonist’s best friend, and they’re just all gay, and then when he Gives Relationship Advice as a gay best friend always does, it’s advice about how to deal with your partner’s hangups around coming out.

actually every part of the gay best friend trope becomes better when they’re just best friends who are both gay. the big dramatic gestures (in this case, driving some ungodly distance in the snow on no notice) go from “haha how kooky” to “queer man will do anything he needs to to rescue his queer friend from an isolating & potentially triggering situation”. the relationship advice isn’t “honey you deserve some self-respect, treat yourself”, it’s a deeply sincere reminder of the vulnerability that is shared across almost everyone’s queer experience, and look I could ramble about this for a long time before reaching a coherent point but I’m INTO IT, okay? I’m into it.

Last Show: you want me to remember what show I last finished???? impossible, cannot be done, it was a long time ago and the adhd has eaten everything that happened before last week. here, instead I’ll tell you about another movie I watched, late at night with my mom in cozy companionship just a couple days ago. it’s called Quigley Down Under and it’s about a cowboy who goes to Australia and kills a bunch of racists, 10/10 would watch again. it’s from 1990 but it feels much older, with the music choices and the cinematography of a 70s Western. the cowboy is great, honorable and fearless and kind, but the breakaway star of this movie for me is the woman who attaches herself to his side and refuses to leave. her name is Cora, and she’s crazy, in the sense that she’s not altogether tethered to reality, but this never for a second diminishes her agency. she’s fierce and clever and compassionate, and she basically never does anything she doesn’t want to in the whole movie. her arc is about overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own fear and facing it head-on, she is never belittled or dismissed by the narrative or the protagonist, and look she’s just so cool. I love her. she’s so vibrantly alive. her story could probably have been handled with a bit more nuance, but honestly for the 90s it’s pretty great. I’m no expert, but I found nothing objectionable in it, just a bit of heavy-handedness.

anyway the theme of the movie is that racism is evil and racists deserve to be shot, and this too could have been handled better (not a single aboriginal character speaks a single line of english in this movie), but it follows through on that message in every way, while still being a fun kinda campy cowboy movie. overall a very good time.

Currently Watching: started showing my sister Hilda the other day, and she’s liking it! I love that show, it’s so incredibly cute. can’t wait to see season 2

Currently Reading: lmao I wish. lately the brain has firmly rejected all attempts to read anything of any length. currently pending, bc I was halfway through them when my brain stalled out, are tano’s fic What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too, a Toby Daye book - I think it was The Brightest Fell, I got like half a chapter in and haven’t picked it up in over a month, the Locked Tomb series, and probably a few other things too. ooh! also a book called Making Sex by thomas laqueur, which is my fancy academic reading that I’ve been doing in short bursts for the past year or two when I feel fancy and academic. it’s about the development of the concept of biological sex and of gender in Western society, and it’s fascinating. has among other things introduced me to the idea that until quite recently, fathers were a matter of faith. the mother? yeah, you can watch the baby pop out, we all know who the mother is. but the father? how can you know? how can you really know? we have paternity tests these days, but for all of human history up until now, we've just had to take fatherhood on faith. (not to mention we didn’t even know what fathers were contributing to the production of a fetus. clearly it was something, since you can’t get pregnant without a penis getting involved, but we have literally not known what until the past few decades. and that is wild. it has colored ALL of human history, all of our conceptions of society and family and kinship and gender, all of it, and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it was spelled out for me in this book, and it’s just......wow.

Salty, sweet or savory: for christmas my sister and I made seven different types of cookie, most of them involving chocolate somehow.

Craving: no bc I ate so many cookies. unless sleep counts. or maybe pringles, it’s been many moons since last I had a potato chip and I miss them.

Coffee or Tea: no thank you

Tagging: @coloursisee, @krchy-tuna, @sam-j-squirrel, @xzienne, @mirandatam, @viciousmaukeries, @sepulchritude, @elidyce, and @navigatorsnorth bc it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I’m super hyped that you’re married now. v happy for you!

[paintedrecs]

Since you've semi-recently gotten into "Gargoyles," do you have some fanfic recommendations for it? (And yes, you can include your own fics if you want. We don't mind.)

Hahaha honestly I don’t have a lot of other recommendations - when I was close to finishing the show, I got impatient and checked the David Xanatos/Owen Burnett tag on AO3, which <em>literally had six fics in it</em>. I was surprised and disappointed, and I spent a few days idly writing a fic in my own head. Since there was nothing out there for me, I had to create my own content.

At one point, I told @mad-madam-m​, “I'm talking myself out of writing a Gargoyles fic that 1 person (me) would read.” She replied, “Why would you talk yourself out of that.” I said, “.....huh, fair point I guess.” A few days later, I’d posted an 11k fic.

The funny part is that M, who had not seen the show at that point, has now written 10 Gargoyles fics (going on a 30k+ 11th) to my 4. So really, she played herself.

I’ve poked around in a few other Gargoyles fics - basically scrolled through the whole tag and checked for anything that sounded like it had sufficient Owen in it - but I’m...kinda picky about my pairings, and I’ve gotten weirdly attached to the rarest possible dynamic in this fandom. (Polyamorous Xanatos, married to Fox and dating Owen, but without any romantic/sexual OT3 trio action.) 

And I’m also very picky about how people write Owen, because there’s this odd tendency to separate Owen Burnett from Puck, treating them as different people/personalities. Owen IS Puck. Puck is Owen. Just because his face and name changes doesn’t mean he does. 

I wrote nearly 37,000 words to try to properly convey my love for this incredibly complicated, fascinating character. (Each subsequent fic was because I felt like I didn’t quite do enough in the last one. I still have a few more in me, if I can ever get around to writing them.)

So...my recommendations...really are just my fics and M’s. Sorry!! It’s sad for me, too. :(

Here they are, though, if anyone’s interested. 

My Fics

Then Fate O’errules (30k)

This two-part series has my original Owen POV fic (11k), and an 18k Xanatos POV follow up, since M wanted to know what Xanatos was thinking during all of their relationship drama. (These fics are, incidentally, the first time I ever used the E rating. Gargoyles is an oddly inspiring show.)

I’ve left this as a complete series, since it covers everything I wanted it to, and I consider it a full story.

However...I’ve been dipping back in with timestamp-style fics, so everything I’ve written for this pairing all fits within the same universe: canon-compliant, with the very slight and (I think) fully believable addition of Xanatos being romantically/sexually involved with Owen.

But a Dream (5k)

Technically this has an unhappy ending (unusual for me), but it fits between chapters of my longer series, so it’s just a glimpse of a tougher point in their relationship, when Owen was stubbornly breaking his own heart and Xanatos was massively failing at communication. I honestly really like what I did with the snapshots of their dynamic here, regardless of the angst.

Spirits of Another Sort (2k)

Another quick timestamp between episodes, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Xanatos putting so much effort into trapping a trickster, when he already had a far more powerful one at home. I also have a LOT of emotions about how incredibly desperate Puck is to stay with Xanatos, as Owen. I love exploring their love, as messy and complicated and painful as it is.

[Pending fics: Another short timestamp, from earlier in their relationship, set in the dojo. An outsider perspective on this unusual Xanatos family dynamic from David’s dad, Petros. And, if I ever manage to go back to it, a fairy tale AU that I fully outlined months ago.]

Mikkimouse’s Fics

To my incredibly great fortune, M ended up liking the Xanatos/Owen dynamic as much as I did, so she’s written a few lovely fics for this pairing, now bringing the grand total in the AO3 tag to fourteen.

The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth (2k)

M and I had a conversation some time ago about A Midsummer Night’s Dream, because how can you talk about Puck (and Oberon, the douchebag) without bringing up that play. M then produced this very wonderful snapshot from later on in the Xanatos/Owen relationship, when they go to a play together and run into unexpected emotions. It’s very tender and true to them. I love this one a lot.

Important Questions (592 words)

Xanatos gets drunk. Owen is indulgent.

Explanations (195 words)

A very short, very sweet glimpse of the Xanatos family. I love seeing Owen’s softer side, especially with young Alexander.

Lord, What Fools These Mortals Be (5k)

While all my fics are tightly focused on the Xanatos family - primarily Xanatos/Owen, with Xanatos/Fox and Alex in the mix - M has really run with the wider Gargoyles world. She’s particularly great at writing Elisa, who’s one of my favorite characters in the show (which might not be visible from my fics, since uh...Owen doesn’t particularly like her, and I’m largely writing from his perspective).

M has a fantastic grasp on Elisa, though, and has fully sold me on the idea of Elisa and Xanatos eventually becoming really solid friends. This fic has achingly great Xanatos/Owen pining, but it’s mostly about Elisa (sniping at Xanatos but grudgingly getting along with him because he’s frustratingly brilliant and ridiculously charming), and it’s A+.

New Friends and Stranger Companies (3k)

Another stop along the “how the effff do Elisa and Xanatos become best friends??” journey, with Xanatos showing up at Elisa’s apartment after the events of The Gathering. There’s some Owen/Xanatos and Fox/Xanatos, but it’s mostly about Elisa & Xanatos starting to see (to Elisa’s dismay) how much they have in common. There aren’t many people in the world who know what it’s like to be a human hopelessly in love with a very powerful...non-human.

It’s messy and complicated and Elisa begins to really get a sense of the kind of guy Xanatos truly is, beyond his immense wealth and evil plots and fondness for messing with her easy-to-mess-with roar-happy winged boyfriend.

Concerns (200 words)

Some episode timestamps, because this really is the kind of show that inspires you to fill in the gaps. First, a brief exchange between Xanatos and Owen after they’ve discovered Goliath and Elisa (their two biggest harassers and meddlers) are off on some Avalon World Tour, leaving them free to do whatever they want.

That Shrewd and Knavish Sprite (2k)

And an exchange between Hudson and Owen during The Price, when Owen got his stone hand and Hudson turned out to be a lot more perceptive and difficult than the extremely easy to predict Goliath. Also an introduction to another unexpected friendship I’m super on board with: Owen needs friends, and Hudson makes weirdly perfect sense. (They’re definitely not there yet in this fic, but I’m hoping for a sequel.)

Gargoyles Three Sentence Fics (575 words)

Some of M’s early explorations of Elisa and Alex, whom she wrote wonderfully even before watching the show.

Ill Met By Moonlight (5k)

An Elisa & Xanatos friendship? Weird, but it works. An Elisa & Owen friendship? ...Not really going to happen.

One of the things I really like about this show is that it has all these different layers of relationships. Xanatos can be deeply in love with both Fox and Owen, but that doesn’t mean that Fox and Owen are going to feel that way about each other. They get along and definitely grow closer over the years, especially with all three of them being Alex’s parents, but they’re different kinds of people who live different lives and who both happen to have fallen in love with the same man.

Similarly, Elisa and Xanatos becoming best friends doesn’t mean that Owen and Elisa will ever be close. You don’t have to like all your friends’ friends - being an adult means recognizing and knowing how to navigate those complexities.

So here we have Elisa waking up tied to her least favorite person in the world, a sentiment that Owen has no interest in refuting. But they can still work together, and Elisa can still feel and express concern for Owen when she realizes he’s not quite as put together as he always appears.

(Also really great action writing. M is fantastic at that.)

Gentles, Do Not Reprehend (1.2k)

Along with Elisa, M has really made Alex her own. She’s working on a 30k plus Alex-centric story that I am super excited about, and this is an initial window into some of how that will look. I lovelove the unusual and wonderful Xanatos Family structure, and M does such a great job of building it out in funny, emotional, believable ways.

[texanredrose]

Vent Post

Alright, I don’t typically do this, but I’ve hit my limit. Please understand, while I appreciate the love and support my stories have received, there is a trend that I have to address because it’s gotten to the point where it’s beyond ridiculous. After talking about it here, I honestly don’t want to have to bring it up again, and I expect no one to go harassing others over it. This isn’t directed at a single person and, for the most part, y’all have been wonderful; I truly couldn’t be more thankful.

However, if you’ve ever left a comment/review regarding Queens of Vale on another work of mine, especially if you didn’t ever leave a comment/review on Queens of Vale itself, and doubly so if you did that without actually reading the contents of the work in question? This is for you.

TL;DR: to everyone who loves Queens of Vale, I’m so sorry the next chapter hasn’t been posted yet. I would love nothing more than to return to it. But I also haven’t gone two weeks without someone using one of my other works to try to guilt trip me into posting it, and that kinda ticks me off.

Text contents of the above picture: “YYBB does have a point. I would LOVE to go back to working on QoV- or Freezerburn fics in general, really- but the amount of comments in that vein I've received have made it a sore spot, to the point where I've considered deleting it from FFN and AO3 entirely just so I don't have to deal with it anymore. It's also a big reason why I don't post promptly from tumblr to AO3/FFN, because each time I do- even though I've completely stopped writing FB and QoV- I get at least one comment/review/PM like this. I thank you for at least addressing the contents of THIS fic, since a lot of the ones I've received don't do that. You've also at least reviewed QoV before which, again, is something most people DON'T do when they leave comments like this on my other fics.

None of my fics are forgotten or abandoned. I go back and reread them myself and work on updates for them all the time! The next update for QoV, for instance, has been nearly completed for the better part of a year now. But I write what strikes my fancy in the moment and constantly being treated like my hobby should be dictated by others is extremely discouraging. Ultimately, I'm going to do what makes me happiest, because until writing starts paying my bills, I've really no inclination to put undue pressure on myself by compromising my free time to meet arbitrary deadlines.

I DO appreciate that you love the story. A lot of people do and that's fine! I'm absolutely FLOORED by how many fell in love with it! But, if people stopped hounding me to update it (the current record is less than two weeks), it would've HAD an update by now, much like several other fics that I updated or wrote sequels that no one asked for.

I also apologize for the wall of text. This just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back. (I usually delete the aforementioned comments/reviews- which is hard as hell to do on FFN btw- but silence isn't getting me anywhere, so it seems like a tumblr post is in order.)”

For well over a year, I’ve been receiving all manner of comments/reviews/PMs/asks regarding the next update for QoV. They’ve ranged from polite questions to outright demands. At first, I tried to take them with a grain of salt- for anyone who actually read the Author’s Note at the end of the last chapter, you’ll know that I had to rewrite chapters, and thus it would take time for the next update to come because I had other commitments- but as time wore on, I became discouraged from continuing it when the other, smaller things I’d written started getting reviews/comments addressing QoV instead.

I love the stories I’ve written. I love the characters I’ve written. I genuinely care about each and every one and try to put the same love and care into all of them. Can you imagine how frustrating it can be when someone who didn’t even bother to tell you they liked something only mentions it when you’ve offered up something different? And people trying to guilt me into it, like I owe anything to people who couldn’t give the five seconds it takes to type up “this is cute” or “I like this”?

Understand, I’ve been putting up with this for three years- you would be shocked by how many people combed through my previous works to comment about how “it’s too bad you don’t write [ship] because your writing is so good!” Like, examine that statement for a minute; if my writing’s that good, does it matter which ship I write? Judging by how many people have responded to even the most niche ships I’ve written for, I’m going to answer that: no, it absolutely doesn’t. It’s just a method of trying to make me doubt my own abilities and passion, to push me to write something I don’t want to write. 

Incidentally, my NOTP list? Entirely comprised of the suggestions other people have provided in reviews/comments like that. Because I don’t believe in rewarding bullies or praising bad behavior by bending to it, even for ships I honestly wouldn’t mind writing. So I’ve dealt with this, on a regular basis, all this time, in silence.

But enough is enough. The ones I’ve gotten recently? Couldn’t even be bothered to read the “this is a commission” literally at the top; the story’s written (mostly), I’m just posting at the customer’s request. 

Do you know how infuriating that is? Here I am, writing something that literally tells you what’s up, but you aren’t going to read it because... you want to read... something else? ??? Where is the logic? How can I even be sure you read any part of QoV- because, again, a lot of people doing this didn’t comment/review, so it’s not like I know for sure- and aren’t just doing it for some sort of smug satisfaction? Really, there’s no motivation here to even open the draft.

Y’all, I’m sorry for getting so long winded about this, but it has been building for a while. I’m a little annoyed, to put things lightly. And, yes, I have considered pulling the story from the internet entirely; I’ve gotten to that point before because if anyone thinks I’m scared of threats, they’ve got another thing coming. I’ll call your bluff and look you in the eye while I do it. I’ve tagged people before, telling them to save a local copy- that’s how close I’ve been to just washing my hands of it.

And the thing that hurts most of all is knowing that a lot of really good, kind people love the story, too. People who’ve been patient and understanding would love to see an update. Hell, I only even wrote it because Maka made the suggestion! Y’all are the only reason I haven’t deleted QoV and keep working on the draft. But if I post it, the people who’ve been hounding me will think their tactics worked, and they’ll either try to do it on another work of mine or to another writer entirely, and that’s the last thing I want.

So I’m just coming right out and saying it. Until I can go three weeks without someone using another fic of mine to demand an update, QoV will be abandoned. It sucks because I was so looking forward to this arc, which was going to set up some really epic scenes towards the end and focus pretty heavily on the relationship between Yang and Weiss, as well as their relationship with the rest of Patch. I was so looking forward to it, y’all don’t even know! Whenever I start reading over the draft, I get excited all over again!

I really wish it hadn’t come to this. I put out what I think is a lot of content- I’m already over 331k words for 2018, and there’s still more to come; I’m on track to exceed last year’s 340k words- but I’m doing this for fun. I love writing and telling stories, but I’m going to tell the stories I want to tell and I’m too damn stubborn for that to change any time soon.

I’ve always told y’all I’m an asshole. I’m sorry to be a dick but I’m not going to back down because a bunch of people who haven’t spent hours working on stories of their own think it’s okay to dictate how I should be doing it.

And I swear to God if someone waits three weeks and one day to do this shit again, y’all will know. Y’all will know immediately.

[queerbycrs]

AO3 Stats Meme!

tagged by @nooowestayandgetcaught​ -- thanks! :D

1. What’s your first and second most common work ratings?

Teen And Up Audiences (27) General Audiences (13)

Plus nine Mature fics and nothing else. (Someday I’ll feel confident enough to write Explicit. Someday. Some... day.)

2. What’s your most common archive warning? Least common? Do you consider yourself an adventurous writer?

I mean, I’ll just paste all of them here, it’s not like it’s a huge list.

No Archive Warnings Apply (36) Major Character Death (9) Graphic Depictions Of Violence (4) Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (3)

So no rape or underage, although I’ve drafted multiple fics with those warnings. One of them I decided not to post and the other one is still in progress and I’m not going to start posting until I’m done. (I’ve learned my lesson.) Adventurous, I don’t know? Maybe? A lot of my most “adventurous” stuff was never published.

3. How many fics have you written in each relationship category? Is this more accidental, or do you have preferences?

F/F (23) Gen (17) F/M (11) M/M (7) Multi (5) Other (1)

Eh, I wouldn’t say accidental, but I know I’ve written less M/M because I have a harder time writing men. Generally. I think. Also I don’t feel super confident writing romance in general, which is why Gen is so high.

4. What are your top 4 fandoms by numbers? Are you still active in any of them, and do you tend to migrate a lot?

Star Wars - All Media Types (25) Young Justice (Cartoon) (9) Stranger Things (TV 2016) (6) Check Please! (Webcomic) (2)

Well, after cutting out all the Star Wars duplicates. These are, apparently, the only fandoms I’ve written more than one work for? Which is. Surprising. I didn’t realize that. But I still write a lot of Star Wars, I’m not really into YJ but I’ll dip back into it on occasion, same with Stranger Things, and I’ll probably never write Check Please again unless something radically changes before it finishes.

5. What are your top 4 character tags? Does this match how you feel about the characters, or are you puzzled?

Ahsoka Tano (15) Leia Organa (10) Zatanna Zatara (9) Artemis Crock (8)

That checks out, I think? I love all of these characters, so.

6. What are your top 2 most used additional tags, and your bottom 2? What would happen if you combined all 4 of these into a fic?

Top: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (19) Angst (11) Bottom: Introspection (4) Blood (4)

Those would probably combine pretty well! I don’t yet have a fic tagged with all of those tags, but it might just happen incidentally one day.

7. How many WIPs do you have currently running on AO3? Any you don’t plan on finishing?

One on AO3 and I do plan to finish it! Someday! I also have a fic that’s about 25k right now in gdocs that would be chaptered once I post it, but I’m not going to start until I actually finish it and there’s probably at least twice that much fic left in it, probably more. (It’s the AFTG SW AU fic I keep mentioning on occasion, and I know at least one person wants to read it but also it’s probably a very niche idea. oh well) Plus, y’know, a million other ideas drifting around in scrivener and gdocs, plus I just started another Ladies Bingo round, plus I’m signed up for several exchanges right now (Multifandom Tropefest, SW Rare Pairs, Yuletide). So I have a lot to work on.

tagging literally anyone who sees this and wants to do it!

[bosstoaster]

Voltron Ask Game

Tagged by @janestrider

How did you discover the show?

My roomie follows Stuido Mir and watched it right when it came out.  She liked it, and recommended it just as it started showing up on my dash.  I gave a shot and here we are.

Was it love at first sight or did it take you a while to get into the show?

The first episode dragged a little for me, since I’m not usually a goofy mecha anime kind of person.  But I liked it well enough and by the end of the season I was hooked

Do you have a favorite episode?

Why do you do this to me?  Uh... shit.  Crystal Venom is still up there.  I also really love Space Mall and The Journey, as well as Shiro’s Escape and Across the Universe.  Someone might be able to see a pattern here.

Do you have a favorite Paladin?

Shiro

Do you have a favorite Lion? (If it’s different from your fave Paladin, why?)

Uh, I suppose Green.  I think we’ve probably seen the most personality from Black, and I like writing that best, but Green is the one I relate to personally. 

Do you have a favorite villain?

Haggar.  Basically the only smart villain in the show.  She’s a badass, a scientist, a credible threat, and has some really lovely personal stakes both in the fight and in the paladins themselves.  Imagine how much better it would have gone for the Galra if Zarkon had listened to her?  Or if she’d had the full picture?  Seriously looking forward to the culmination of her plans.

Do you have a favorite Alien Race (Recurring and/or minor)

The Olkari.  Plant tech geniuses, what’s not to love?  And apparently they have killer romantic drama series.

Favorite side/other character(s) - Rebels, Generals, Blade of Marmora, Garrison, etc?

I adore Slav, especially the Sven and Slav duo from the alternate universe.  Incidentally, I love everything in that universe and I desperately need to write something with it.

How/Why did you join the fandom?

Kind of described above.  I tried reading fic, but at the two weeks post-premiere there was nothing focusing on Shiro that wasn’t Space Dad cares of the Babies so I fucking wrote it myself.  And here I am

Care to share your favorite headcanon?

Shiro, Lance, and Allura form the Stupidly Competitive Squad, where once their guards are down, they will try to be the best at literally the dumbest shit.  Climbing the highest, best dancer, picking teams at Alien Sportsball, you name it.

What do you think is the best part of the show?

The few character moments we get are the best, and I love the subtle character development they’ve got going.  Lance especially got a lot of it and I wish the fandom actually appreciated his character development more.  I also love the sense of camaraderie they manage when we get moments as a family instead of only a team

Any hopes and wishes for future episodes/seasons?

Just handle the current Shiro plot well.  Please, Voltron.  Please please please.

Do you think you’ll stick it out until the end of the show?

Probably.  If they fuck it off, I’ll make an AU and ignore canon.  Who the fuck cares about it anyway?

Tagging @butteredonions @gitwrecked @velkynkarma @niffty24 @ashinan @mumblefox

[gaynoctgar]

Thoughts about Prompto’s arc in “Brotherhood”

The real title, for now, is something like “Prompto being formerly fat was not even remotely necessary and was offensively handled” or “Haley rants about Brotherhood because it’s so fatphobic”

TW: eating disorders, fatphobia.  

It’s also incredibly long, but I really want to share my thoughts.

Update: 10-4-2018: inspired by comments and tags, I added more examples of dialogue that exemplifies the problem

Update: 22-4-2018: accounting for the new “official profiles”...it got worse, everyone.

Oh Prompto.  Prompto Argentum.  My beloved, sweet, beautiful bi boy who could have had a much more satisfying arc.  They really tried, didn’t they?  They tried to give you a touching backstory and instead exposed their fatphobia.  And as for the bi part, well, that’s another essay in and of itself....stay tuned everyone. 

Yes, this is one of those posts.  That’s why I put all of this under a “Keep reading.”  It’s just something that has been subtly bothering me for a long time and I thought I’d give this short essay format a try.  There will be a TL;DR at the end, I suppose, but please read through this if you are interested in this aspect that I feel is both underexplored and overexploited about my most favorite character in anything ever.

A bit about myself before we begin: I am rather chubby.  I’m 5’4” (162cm) and 220 lbs (100 kg), and I have struggled off and on with eating disorders since I was in high school.  I do realize this makes me “obese,” but this essay isn’t about that.  Rather, it is about how fatness and obesity is often portrayed in media as a character flaw, or something to overcome, and my own feelings about why this is harmful. To be clear, I want to make two major points with this: 1) Prompto being “formerly fat” is not something that was even remotely necessary for his character arc and its inclusion and resolution are nothing short of fatphobic and; 2) the fact that Prompto receives his character development via losing weight in Brotherhood is emblematic of every problem I have with how media chooses to include fat people.

These points are incredibly intertwined, so let’s start by exploring what was intended by the episode.  I want to be clear and demonstrate that I fully understand what the episode intended to show, and I will continue to acknowledge what the likely intent was.  This essay/rant is critiquing the execution.

If the point of Brotherhood was to suggest that Prompto had a lonely childhood until he met Noctis, that’s great!  I understand that that’s what Brotherhood was showing.  HOWEVER. I have been sickened, from the moment I saw his episode, with how his journey to lose weight was correlated with his journey to “be good enough” to be Noct’s friend.  Let me be clear.  I understand that we are supposed to interpret this as a character flaw on Prompto’s part, and we see in the gayest scene the rooftop motel scene that losing weight did not resolve Prompto’s self-confidence.  I know that.  What I am saying is that him losing weight was in no was necessary to include, at least not in the way that they did.  There are some ugly implicit implications here, not least of which is that eating nothing but salads is, I would argue, just as unhealthy as what he was doing before. The show treats it as a positive good that Prompto appears to be starving himself and thinking obsessively about losing weight, and that is what I am taking issue with.

I, personally, detest the “formerly fat” trope and all its incarnations.  Wouldn’t it simply have been enough to say that Prompto was painfully shy (he was) and very lonely (he was)?  Why do these feelings have to be justified via his body?  Was there no other way you could justify Prompto simply being too shy to talk to Noct? Noct’s the prince, Prompto is a commoner who feels that he’s nothing particularly special…would this not have been enough?  Doing it the way that they did implies that being fat is a moral and character flaw that needs to be corrected in order for you to be seen as a hero. That is what I am taking issue with.

And yes, I realize that the “weight loss journey” is jump-started by the fact that babby Noct says “heavy…” when trying to help Prompto to his feet.  Believe me, I understand first-hand how much that hurts. I faced many similar instances in my own life.  I can’t blame him for saying it, he’s a kid, but I do want to point out that Noct never apologizes for this.  You could say “he didn’t realize he was wrong” but maybe you could have had a scene where Noct wonders why the cute boy with the camera is avoiding him, and Ignis can say something like “well, did you do or say anything that might have upset him?” and Noct can actually apologize for hurting Prompto’s feelings.  This is not unreasonable to expect.  When I was a kid and people were avoiding me, my mom always asked me to think back on why that might be.  It’s part of growing up and learning that your words and actions have consequences.

TO BE FAIR: I do think the motel scene was an attempt to rectify all of this in the game.  While Prompto formerly being fat is not explicitly mentioned, he is mortified that Noct remembers him back in elementary school.  Now, I love Noct, but he’s stupid sometimes, and not very intuitive. This is, however, in his character, and I will allow it because the very next thing he says is “You should have said something sooner.”  This shows Prompto (and the audience) that Noct doesn’t give two shits about how Prompto looks, now or ever, and I am happy that this was included.  However, there is no given reason behind why Noct couldn’t simply talk to Prompto himself beforehand.  Like I said, Noct is an idiot, and also a lot more shy and awkward than he lets on. But this moment was sweet between them, even if you don’t ship promptis, and I do think it is fair to mention it.

However, coupling all of this with the fact that the “character sheets” show us that Prompto does, canonically, have a fear of gaining weight, as well as these little snippets of dialogue…

Prompto: Hey, let’s hit up the Crow’s Nest!

Ignis: If you wish to put on weight? Certainly.

Prompto: *sighs* Yeah, I know…

(I swear to god every time I get this dialogue I SCREAM at Ignis, how is this even remotely okay to say to your friend who you damn well know has problems with his weight and there’s no way you don’t know this--)

EDIT: The addition of this quote is based on the tags from @gentiuna, I knew I was forgetting something!

Noct: Why is your face so fat?

Prompto: I’m NOT fat!!

(I swear to Jesus you’re on thin fucking ice with me Noct, that’s not even remotely funny and you need a time out to think about what you’ve done--)

This one I have only gotten once in my ~400 hrs of play but I swear I didn’t make it up; if anyone finds the specific words, I will correct it:

Ignis: talks about food and how it’s “anything your heart wants” or something

Prompto: Yeah, it’s the wanting that’s the problem.

I think this was intended to be a nod to Brotherhood but (and @bernielu can back me up on this) I SCREAMED when I heard it. How is that REMOTELY okay?  Nobody even REACTS to this, or asks if Prompto is okay, or ask him why the FUCK he would say that.  

This is when it becomes pertinent, I think, to discuss my own experience with eating disorders.  I have wonderful friends and family, and I’m well on the road to recovery, but back when I was in high school, I just straight up wouldn’t bring food to lunch.  Retroactively, I realize they all brought extra, hoping I would get just hungry enough to pick at the scraps (I usually did), and that was their way of helping me and showing me that they cared.  It can be hard to want food sometimes.  As offensive as I find its inclusion, I do think that’s an accurate way of representing how it can feel: you know that food is good, and you know that you are hungry, but it’s wanting to eat it that’s a problem.  Here’s my issue: that should have raised everyone’s red flags, and the fact that nobody, NOT EVEN NOCT, WHO WE CAN EXPECT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS, says ANYTHING about this, and the game writes it off as another one of its Infamous Banters ™….it’s not looking great.  It’s not looking like representation, to me.  It’s looking like erasure and fatphobia.  

Babby Prompto is supposed to be viewed with pity but also, I think, with disdain: by the audience and by Prompto himself.  I’ve noticed in many fics that the fans like to almost romanticize this aspect of him, and explore that he has an eating disorder which is…I don’t’ like it because most of these fics come to the same conclusion: Prompto ends up skinny anyway and it’s just a quirk about him.  This is what I meant when I said that I feel this is overexploited, earlier in the essay, but also underdeveloped in the sense that they basically, in my opinion, show this as something that Prompto had to “get over” to be a real protagonist. They don’t go into how fucked up Prompto’s psyche must be from this.  It’s just kinda…ignored.  

UPDATE 22-4-2018: I’ve got to get this off my chest, the new “Official Works Profile” for Prompto made all of this worse.  It literally outright states that, after rescuing Pryna, Prompto “decided “to become the right sort of person for a Prince” and worked to change himself. It also refers to Prompto having a “pudgy youth” as if that were a bad thing.  It also says “Incidentally, Prompto’s photography hobby developed when he was dieting and took photos to record his weight loss progress.” Not gonna lie, this one made me physically ill.  There was literally no reason for that other than to imply that being fat is somehow immoral.  Why is Prompto’s “personal resolve” equated to losing weight? Why couldn’t it simply have been to be more outgoing? I’m fucking ANGRY, I’m done being polite about this.

My solution, then? Well, one of two things: 1) don’t make Prompto fat to justify his bad childhood if you know you’re just gonna make him thin and completely ignore that he was ever different, which is my preferred solution, or 2) have at least one character be bigger and that’s just how they are and it’s not made into a plot point or anything.  

A final note: I KNOW people can and do drop tremendous amounts of weight, and I want to be clear that I am not suggesting this is bad or that people shouldn’t do it.  A person’s weight and their relationship to it is their own business, and as long as people have a healthy relationship with their body, I’m not one to judge.  I know that we are supposed to see Prompto’s weight loss as heroic and a strong example of his dedication to Noctis.  And sure, we get that.  But maybe I have convinced you that the development we get comes at the cost of fatphobia, at least in terms of how it was portrayed here.

TL;DR: Prompto didn’t need to be fat to develop his character, and its inclusion and treatment in the narrative of Brotherhood suggest an uncomfortable degree of fatphobia.

If you stuck around for the whole thing, thank you so much for reading my thoughts.  It’s something that has been bubbling up in me for months, and now I am finally able to put it in words. <3

[potentiality-26]

11 questions meme

rules:

1. always post the rules. 2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 (or however many) people to answer them.

I was tagged by @deadsdemona!

1. what album should i listen to right now?

Eeek, I’m bad at music recommendations.  Thea Gilmore’s Liejacker is a really good one?  I listen to it all the time. 

2. what are some of your favourite books?

Les Miserables is my favorite.  I also really like All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriot and Catch 22 by Joseph Heller.  For fantasy series, Harry Potter and The Parasol Protectorate are big favorites. 

3. if you have any notps in the fandom(s) you’re in, what are they?

In Kingsman, I really don’t ship Eggsy with anyone but Harry (though OT3s with him, Harry, and someone else are fine).  Some are more NOTP than others, but speaking generally ships with him and not Harry don’t do anything for me. 

(skipping four because I can’t really think of a good answer)

5. describe a perfect fic for you (i.e., what pairing, which fandom, what tropes, etc.)

Right now probably Hartwin, and just like standard mutual pining trope (maybe with a side of other tropes, but honestly I like to be surprised) with the classic “oh, you feel that way about me too?” and maybe some smut, though that’s negotiable. 

Happily there are a lot of fics along those lines, but sometimes I think writers worry (or even get told) that it’s same-y and they should branch out more, and while I have absolutely read some amazing fics that weren’t like that, I will happily read (and incidentally write) thousands that are.

6. do you follow any blogs/subscribe to any channels out of self-indulgence? if so, what do you indulge in?

Even though I try to avoid involvement in fandom wank and drama, I really like to hear about it, so I look at some blogs that get into it a lot, especially ones that argue against the purity politics that’s really common right now.  I also love a good write-up of fandom wank from the old days, because there were some doozies. 

7. which character (from a book, movie, tv show, or play) do you think would understand you perfectly?

IDK... maybe Horatio.  I relate to him, although I think I would end up sympathizing with him more than the other way around. 

8. this is a repeat of serpensthesia’s question, but what would you internet fight someone about?

Like I said above I try to stay out of fandom drama, and I try to keep things fandom oriented online, so I avoid talking much about racism/sexism/homophobia here.  But...

There was this one post that went around many months ago now.  It talked about how a lot of people writing fanfiction about boarding school clearly knew nothing about it, and this was a list of Boarding School Trufax to set them all straight.  And it ticked me off, but I figured life was too short and I didn’t say anything.  But I have thought about that post a least once a week ever since then, and I have decided that life is long and if I ever see it again I’m going to go off.  Because it’s true that someone absolutely clueless about what boarding school is like could use that post as a starting point, but it bothers the heck out of me that the aforementioned clueless person, having read that post and taken it to heart, would think the 100% true account of my adventures in boarding school was Wrong because of that post.  Apart from one objective fact, literally none of the things that post treated as absolutes were a part of my life. 

9. name 5 places you would like to visit sometime: go.

Some of these are kind of “in a perfect world” places that I probably won’t ever actually go, but:

Kairouan (my parents used to live there and I’ve often wished I could see it) 

Singapore

Rome

Paris

Yellowstone

10. what are your favourite and least favourite genres of television?

Sci-fi is my favorite, I like mystery series a lot sometimes and less others, I dislike reality TV.  

11. which social media platform (like instagram, snapchat, twitter) do you absolutely refuse to use?

Well, I don’t use any of the ones you listed, so...

12. what do you look forward to the most in your day?

I honestly really enjoy making myself meals. 

My questions (I’ll do twelve as well in case you’d rather answer one or another):

1. Talk about a few movies/books/songs etc. that you feel really “shaped” you.

2. What’s something (again could be a movie/book/song etc.) that you really wish more people knew about?

3. If you write fic/make fanart, rec something of yours that you’re really proud of!  If you don’t, rec something someone else made that’s close to your heart :)

4. Do you favor tea, coffee, or neither?

5. What’s a common/popular food you hate?

6. What do you do when you can’t sleep?

7. Talk about something you tried for the first time recently (could be something to eat or just about anything else). 

8. What’s your favorite genre of music?

9. What’s your favorite game?

10. Are you allergic to anything?

11. Do you relate a lot to fictional characters, or no? 

12. How much would you say you swear?

Tagging: @froomage, @lady-mephistopheles, @darcyfirth, @spilledmangojuice, @nahrky, @gentlekingsmen, @harryhartless, @teamfreeswag, @firthsty, @zombiisheep, @annaspalace (I’m tagging some people I haven’t interacted with much so I can get to know y’all better, but anyone reading this who likes the questions should go for it and tag me so I can see!)

[delineative]

writing year in review

i was not tagged but i've wanted to do this meme for years, and FINALLY this year i wrote more than 2 fics, so here i am at last!

total number of completed stories:  

ao3: 15 (+1 unrevealed)

tumblr: 3

overall: 18

total word count:  

ao3: 46 302

tumblr: 1 881

overall: 48 183

fandoms written in:

7 seeds

boku no hero academia

haikyuu

mystic messenger

pokemon go

yugioh arc v

looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? way more. way, way more. to put it into perspective, i wrote 11 572 words for 2014-2015 combined. i can't believe i somehow managed to write nearly 50k this year, particularly considering how busy i was with school… it's not much in comparison with other writers, but i'm a notoriously slow and unproductive writer, so i'm very proud of that wordcount!

what’s your own favorite story of the year? a tie between 'a girl of routine', which i'm ridiculously fond of despite the pacing problems, and 'the snow covers us', which i think hit the balance between pretty prose and intensity of emotional impact. they're not perfect, but i really love them!

incidentally, least favourite would be 'all the choirs in my head' and 'all of those better days' because i'm not happy at all with the characterisation (i've kicked them both onto a pseud).

did you take any writing risks this year? quite a few! i signed up for hqhols for the first time, wrote treats for the first time (1 in hqhols, 3 in yuletide), broke 10k on a fic for the first time in 'A History of Storms', published a fic on the same day i wrote it, and tried out epistolary for the first time! i did quite a lot of experimentation with my writing style, going from super dense and flowery ('an outline of shapes i used to know', 'the dimming divide') to more relaxed and subtle ('a girl of routine', 'i won't say it') and ending up somewhere comfortably in the middle.

do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year? next year i enter the Hell Zone of school so honestly, i'll be happy if i can finish just one fic. i'm going to try signing up for yuletide again (even though it's right in the middle of my exam season) as well! this year i spent a lot of time working on dialogue and narrative flow, and next year i'd like to work more on pacing and plot. i'd also like to figure out how to strike the balance between authentic narrative voice and my writing style.

best story of the year? 'A History of Storms', definitely! overall i think it's my best work in terms of plot, pacing, characterisation, prose and general narrative construction, and i'm very happy with how it turned out.

i'm also very proud of 'emerge in the telluric light', which i feel was a sort of turning point re the quality of my writing--it was the first fic i'd written that i felt didn’t have any glaring errors in flow/pacing/characterisation/dialogue.

most popular story of the year? 'i won't say it', which is sitting on an incredible 630 kudos and 24 comment threads! the reception to this fic has really blown my mind. i wrote and published this the day the team leader designs were released, and i suspect getting in early (creating the blanche/candela tag, no less!) played a big part in this fic's popularity… thank you pokemon go fandom!

story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: i'm not generally surprised when my fics don't get much reception, because i tend to write rarer fandoms/ships/characters, but that being said i think 'how the sky looked after they left' is still a pretty nice story. it's a short gen character study of a minor female character, though, so i understand why it hasn't gotten as much attention as my other fic.

most fun story to write: all of my 7 seeds fics were a blast to write, but particularly 'show some entrepreneurial initiative'! shoutout to my best girl mayu for having such a fun pov to write in, and for the general weirdass hyperspecific summer a narration style.  

story with the single sexiest moment: um… i think the scene where candela kisses blanche's hand in 'A History of Storms' is very sexy. there is also a wound care scene in the unrevealed fic which is pretty hot, imo.

i don't think the actual pwp has any sexy moments.

most sweet story: i think the most straightforwardly sweet story i've written is 'tell me we'll never get used to it' which is pretty much just 1.3k of domesticity with slight edges, but even that dives a little bit into the oikawa talent narrative. maybe 'show some entrepreneurial initiative' if taken purely at face value and ignoring canon etc?

”holy crap, that's wrong, even for you!” story: n/a nothing is wrong for me, this year it finally hit me that i don’t owe anyone anything and i can literally write whatever i want, which i did.

but i guess i did venture past a soft T rating for the first time and write something slightly more explicit than my usual fare of 'thinking about holding hands'/'intense eye contact', so that's something.

story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: i began 'the snow covers us' with a vague but earnest enthusiasm for minor female characters in general and finished the fic as fuyumi's #1 fan. i have so many thoughts about her position as the eldest child in a family like the todorokis (and all the failed expectation that comes with that), and her relationship with her youngest and most powerful brother. i wish someone else would write an epic fuyumi biopic so i won't have to!!

most unintentionally telling story: all… of them… but i projected particularly hard on blanche in 'the dimming divide', and jaehee in 'heart wide as the sea'. something about that imposter syndrome and repression of feelings. you know. the sudden shift in tone to optimism in the endings is pure wish fulfilment.

and i didn't realise it while i was writing it but 'a girl of routine' was absolutely me setting out one of my biggest fantasies ie being able to step away from something you've devoted a huge chunk of your life to so you can evaluate how you feel about it from a safe distance, and then reengage with it on your own terms, surrounded by a support network, without any fallout or consequences for leaving in the first place.

hardest story to write: i started 'an outline of shapes i used to know' last year and it took me half a year to finish because i really wanted to do oikawa's character justice and acknowledge as many different facets of his personality as possible! i was also working through a lot of personal stuff re his natural talent vs hard work arc and publishing the fic was definitely kind of cathartic.

biggest disappointment: pokemon go fandom at the height of its hype really spoiled me with my first two fics, so i'm a little bit sad that the kudos count on 'A History of Storms' doesn't really reflect how much effort and energy i put into it ;v; especially considering that it's my best and longest piece by far! it isn't the fic with the lowest kudos count--that would be 'antebellum' and 'all of those better days', both on 3 kudos--but since those are for small fandoms like yugioh arc v i'm not too disappointed by that!

biggest surprise: still not over that word count?!?!? also, breaking 100 kudos for five different fics when i'd never managed to do so before (my shock when 'all the choirs in my head' and 'i won't say it' broke 100 kudos in like a day…)! and the fact that people have offered to translate three of my fics, which i will never be over. honestly i will probably never, ever be over the fact that people like my fic at all, so if you've ever read/kudosed/commented on/recced anything i've written, thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

[overthinkingfeathers]

I was tagged by @hollyand-writes to do the 2016 writing review. I am exceedingly boring and wrote like 5 things, but I do pretty much anything if tagged, so let’s do this. 

Total number of completed stories:

5. When I said like 5, I meant literally 5, and they’re all one shots. 

Total word count:

5! No, ok, 7,405 words published on at least one site. I have some WIPs, but those don’t count. 

Fandoms written in:

Mostly Dragon Age 2,but I have one Mass Effect one. I guess you could make a case for the D&D character one being for D&D. 

Looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? 

Considering I haven’t published any writing at all in years and had never written fanfiction, I guess I’ll go with more. This is going to sound terrible, but I don’t usually have expectations; I'm not a consistent writer by any means. Like, I tagged my first fic with # Feathers writes #Like twice a year so don't look at me, and that was not an exaggeration. 

What’s your own favourite story of the year?

Um. Without rereading anything I’ve written, I’m going to go with Sunset, which, incidentally, is my first fic. 

Did you take any writing risks this year?

This is a tricky question. On one hand, I have the self esteem of a dead snail in regards to my writing, so publicly sharing anything at all is always kind of hard. Also, I’m weird about people I know in real life reading things I’ve written, and I’m always concerned they’ll somehow find out. 

On the other hand, short of potentially getting my delicate ego bruised, it’s not like I have anything to lose. 

Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?

Write more in general and write more consistently, I guess. I’m tempted to reblog some of those prompts now and then, but we’ll see. 

Best story of the year?

Ok, you can’t ask favorite and best and most popular. Two out of three. 

Most popular story of the year?

The most popular on Tumblr was Sunset; the most popular on AO3 was An Unexpected Friend. 

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

I feel like Never Be Alone wasn’t that bad, but it garnered the least amount of notes/comments/kudos of everything I posted to both Tumblr and AO3. 

Most fun story to write:

Um. I enjoyed speed writing my untitled D&D one, but that’s largely because I love the character. It’s composed of run on sentences and is definitely in need of editing, but honestly I wrote most of it while playing, so I’m not too fussed. 

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I wrote exactly zero romantic interactions, so gonna go with none. 

Most sweet story:

I am just going to pass on this, because there’s a point in which I cannot keep linking the same three fics over and over again. 

“Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you!” story:

Pretty sure I wrote exactly nothing that surprised anyone, so none. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

Me? Write stories that require me to think? Unrealistic. 

Most unintentionally telling story:

I mean, I hate to write none again, but I don’t think any of them revealed things I don’t already share freely. 

Hardest story to write:

Standing Guard Against Nightmares gave me the biggest issues. I always struggle with pacing and endings, but I feel like it shows the most there. Also, titling things is not something I do well, and that’s pretty obvious too. 

Biggest disappointment:

My Mass Effect fic sat at zero comments/kudos for well over a month. It’s not hugely surprising, honestly; I occasionally reblog a Mass Effect thing here, but it’s definitely not the primary fandom I’m in, so the Tumblr posting gained no traction. Meanwhile on AO3, it’s a very short story by an unknown writer in a popular tag. Still, by the time it eventually got one comment and kudo, I knee jerk assumed those were out of pity until I got over myself. 

Biggest surprise:

Standing Guard Against Nightmares got really enthusiastic tags on a reblog, which I wasn’t expecting. It was really nice. 

Tagging:

No one in specific, because I think most of my writer mutuals have already done this or tend not to do this kind of thing, but everyone should feel welcome to. 

[spikeymarshmallows]

Fic Meme

Fic memery

I was tagged by @sassbandit3000​ for this fic writing meme.

last sentence tag

“He glared at Bucky when he walked in, but hey, Bucky had literally walked through gunfire so he could handle it.”

LOOK IT’S A WIP OKAY

AO3 tag game

WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?

15664 on my orphaned account + 3704 on my new account

HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?

I’m trying to do something every day.

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?

Nope. Up until the past three days I would sort of... just do whatever. But I’m trying to work smarter not harder now, so I’m trying to limit myself to 2hrs a day (as that’s all I’ll likely have in the semester) and I know that working on a time limit makes me more productive. And incidentally, since I started that daily time limit two days ago, I’ve been WAY more productive. 

Also. I try to drink tea when I write. Much more steady productivity. But nope, overall I don’t have a routine but I’m trying to establish one. 

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?

Kinks - breathplay, bondage (particularly well-written shibari), rape play, fisting, D/s, most kinds of sadomasochism really. OH! crying (when they’re not “criers”). Aftercare. I have an aftercare kink. 

Trope - FWB TO LOVERS IS MY BULLETPROOF TROPE. I do love ABO. I love me a good mundane AU. I also enjoy mental illness in fics, but only to a certain degree before I start feeling the same things... I know I have a few but cannot recall half of them right now... 

Pairing -  Stucky :) I’m a monoshipper, or polyshipper at most. But even then, it’s just TJ/Steve/Bucky - I weirdly struggle with reading other characters in their universe. 

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?

My TJ x Stucky one. I’m actually really happy with 70% of it. 

YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?

Unable to say at this point :(

ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?

Oh god, I write so much... useless crap around the actual point. I’m trying to write detail but I think I often get bogged down in it. I’m very verbose. Also I’m not at all funny or witty, and... yeah... 

NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?

I like a lot of the tiny details I throw in, and always hope people notice. It seems my smut has improved. I like to think I get a good balance of fluffy and angsty as well. 

ship tag game

First ship you ever read fic for: Daine + Numair of Tamora Pierce. I remember the day super clearly. 

First ship you ever wrote fic for: Daine + Numair of Tamora Pierce. Yeppp. 

Ship you write the most now: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, but I’m still new. My most commonly written things prior were Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe, and Hunter Clarington/Sebastian Smythe

Ship you read the most now: Stucky <3. Followed by Sterk. 

Newest ship: Stucky

Rare ship you want to read more of: Ahahaha Huntbastian? I don’t know... 

Your taboo ship: Bucky x TJ???? I don’t seem to have one... Kurtbastian was kind of taboo??

They never met in canon ship: TJ x Stucky

Your unexpected ship: Ooof. Ummm. Huntbastian was unexpected, fo sho. 

The ship you always forget to give love to: None! I tend to monoship. 

Ship your OC with a canon character (if applicable): NA

A ship you’re embarrassed to ship: Nothing ATM but... No, no, I think about it and I haven’t ever been ashamed of tany of my ships ahaha. 

Your most romantic ship: None of my ships are EVER romantic. They’re usually based on sass and banter and hate fucking their way into love. I guess Steve and Bucky could be considered romantic, depending on the spin you take. But Sterek and Hunbastin and Kurtbastian... Not entirely romantic. 

Your sexiest ship: Stucky :3

Your most tragic ship: Bucky x HTP???

A ship you want more content for: Oof, I’m overwhelmed with content... But more HTP with Stucky endings are always nice <3