#not sure if that's how I'll feel in a few hours...
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— a/n : , , thought this up w @cindol in a legit heartbeat ! bestfriend!sukuna... my beloved . . maybe I'll make a pt 2 iunno!
wc : , , 1k + !
summary : , , sukuna punches ur bf thats it. thats the fic. (angst/comfort)
Sukuna hates it. Everytime he looks at your face he's reminded of how weak and vulnerable he becomes. It's the classic sun and moon duo, and he hates it.
You're always going to him for your 'boy' problems, painting his nails as you yap on about this one boy in your class. You say how handsome he is or how nice his hands look. You've never said anything like that about him, but he doesn't care; or he tells himself that.
He'll often leave snacks on your table before your lectures, or drinks next to you at lunch. It's a small reminder that he cares about you.
Everyone says that he's a bad influence on such a kind, pretty girl like you. You never listen. Glued to his side as you walk down the long hallways, his piercings and black leather jacket a contrast to your beautiful outfit, the complete opposite of his.
You don't share dorms, and he wishes he put his pride aside and requested that you did. It's bothersome, having to make his routine of walking to your dorm, catching the eyes and hearing rumors of the two of you dating on the way.
Although, the snacks he hold are currently on the floor as the door opens, his lip curling upward and nose flaring in anger as he spots him— Satoru Gojo.
"What the fuck—"
He's leant against the door, a shit eating grin plastered on the face he's ready to punch the shit out of.
Is that lipstick on his fucking neck?
"Small world, huh?" Gojo chuckles out, turning around to face you, then back at Sukuna, "Guess I should tell ya. We're datin' now." .
There's a loud crash and a blur that you see as your boyfriend stumbles backwards, his hand holding his jaw.
Sukuna punched your boyfriend.
Sukuna just fucking punched your boyfriend.
You exclaim with a loud 'what the fuck' and get up from the bed, the blanket falling to pool around your legs.
Sukuna grits his teeth together as he sees you.. clad in panties and an oversized black shirt.
He begins to laugh and turns right back to Gojo, finally noticing that he's shirtless. He barks out a loud laugh and places his hand over his face, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me."
Gojo throws his hands up, "What the hell is your problem?!" and Sukuna stops to look at you, then back at Gojo.
He points at the both of you, "Whatever the fuck this is, I don't want to be in between it. If I am in between it— your fucking little punk ass boyfriend— is getting punched again."
"Again?" Gojo laughs out, stepping closer to Sukuna, "Who the fuck do you think you are?"
You sharply yell out Gojo's name but Sukuna speaks over you, "Doesn't fucking matter you puss—" a loud 'thwack!' is heard as you see your best friend this time stumble backwards.
Blood runs down Sukuna's nose before he wipes his messily with his thumb, bringing up his fists in a messy fighting stance. He's far too angry to fight for real.
You've seen him fight, and it's nothing like what you're seeing.
They're going back and forth, Sukuna punching Gojo in places that are sure to bruise within a few hours. Gojo pushes Sukuna against the wall with his forearm against his neck as he spits some awful insults into his face, only for Sukuna to spit his own blood directly onto his cheek.
You hear Sukuna laugh, and before you know it, you're wailing; sobbing like a baby if you will.
They both turn to you, Gojo still holding a squirming Sukuna against the wall.
You've never liked violence— and Sukuna can't help but wonder, is that why you chose Gojo? Was he too.. violent?
"Get the fuck off of me— She needs me—" Sukuna shouts and Gojo cuts him off, "She doesn't need you, she needs me."
Oh. Oh.
He's right. Gojo's ... right.
His ears are ringing as he watches you cry, feeling Gojo inevitably let up on his neck and make his way over to you. He cradles you, his hands on your cheeks as he wipes your tears and snot away.
He can't tell if he's lightheaded or he's about to cry. He doesn't want to know. He doesn't say anything, just makes his way toward the door, exiting out and stepping over the drinks and snacks he had dropped earlier.
You don't need him.
Sukuna shuts the door and looks down at his hands, turning them over to look at his visibly red and bloody knuckles. More eyes are peering at him as he walks down the hallway.
It feels empty despite all the people out of their rooms due to the commotion. His phone is buzzing in his pocket the whole time, no doubt that it's you but he doesn't check.
You don't need him.
His chest fucking hurts, and he feels his eyes tear up for once. He frowns, still tasting the blood from his busted lip.
You don't need him.
Once he gets to his room, he undresses and plops down onto his bed— he's lost. He doesn't know what to do until—
He does.
He ignores you for a week, maybe two.
He often finds himself looking at the messages you sent, endless questions flooding his messages but the last one stands out.
It simply reads, 'what did i do?'.
You never needed him that's what you did. He slaps his hands against his face as he gets ready for a day of ignoring you again, he pulls a plain hoodie over his head.
He notices the nail polish on his nails is chipped almost completely off. Probably some weird metaphor for your and his friendship.
He makes his way out the door, almost recieving a heart attack as he sees you— eyes puffy and red, only in an oversized shirt and sweatpants.
" 'Kuna." you sniff, hands wiping your eyes, "What'd I do? Why did you punch Gojo? What happened?" you whine in the hallway.
Eventually you're yanked into his room and placed onto his bed, still lightly sobbing as you look up at Sukuna.
"I just, felt like punching him."
"Bull fuckin shit."
Potty mouth.
He sighs, wiping your eyes like he'd usually do before that day.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it. You don't need me." You're silent, and he looks dead serious.
"....What?"
"You don't—" "No, I heard you. I'm just, confused."
He frowns, this is the first time he's said it out loud, let alone explain it.
"I- I do need you!" you suddenly exclaim, hands gripping onto his wrists, "Fuck, Sukuna, I need you so bad." he watches more tears spill and he can't help but frown even more.
"No, you don't—"
"I do!" you cut him off, sobbing, "Remember when I had my period and had no pads? You got them for me. Or, or, whenever I got depressed you would stay in my room and make sure I ate and drank. You don't remember that? Or, when you beat up those guys who tried to bully me?? Or when... I had those silly nightmares—" you let out a soft hiccup, "and you let me sleep in your room and hug you until I fell asleep?".
He stares at you.
"I do need you, more than anyhing."
If he wanted to be vulnerable, he'd be crying right beside you, instead he whispers your name.
He crouches in front of you, a weak smile spreading across his lips as he watches you weakly reciprocate.
You laugh, and he does too, "We're fucking idiots." he laughs out, moving closer to you.
You place your hands softly on his cheeks and look at his face, "It's all my fault— I was stupid, and didn't realize in time and, and, I left Gojo when you guys fought—" he sighs.
It takes a few moments for you to realize but he kissed you.
He finally kissed you. You both melt into each other, molding into the perfect mix of night 'n day. It sparks, like the stars in the night sky and your brain clears like a sunny day.
He pulls away to whisper, "Sleep in my room." you giggle, "It's not even nighttime." and he spares a moment to smile, "Yeah, and? You need a nap."
"I do. I do need a nap actually."
You do need him.
#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna angst#jjk angst#jjk sukuna#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x black reader#jjk x black y/n#jjk x black!fem reader#black reader#jjk fluff#sukuna fluff#ryomen sukuna fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#sukuna x reader#sukuna
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Well, since this blew up and became my most successful post, I'll add a few more things about Bordentown's MVP of AP Bio.
She's English, from England (Kent, I'm pretty sure), one of four sisters. Her accent has largely faded over the years, but her cadence never did. Imagine growing up where your mom talks like Ian McKellen.
I inherited some of that affectation, such that when I started teaching a lot of kids would ask where I was from. But I wish that I inherited her memory.
When she got her biology degree, there were only two kingdoms of life: plants and animals. Yet she still remembers more from her time in college than I do.
Has literally never been able to tell left from right. She would put transparencies on the projector backwards and the class would have to tell her that she was the only one who could read it.
One time some of her fellow teachers were discussing the boy bands they used to listen to in Middle School and how that made them feel old; i.e. NSYNC vs One Direction. She chimed in (read this with cadence) "When I was in Middle School, The Beatles were still together."
She once told me "I don't really like recorded music. It doesn't feel alive."
She made that lute to accompany her singing (which she does well but seldom), but she can't actually play it. This is not for lack of trying. More precisely, she learned how to play, but she was never physically able to. The third knuckle on each hand is slightly malformed, such that her ring fingers cannot put enough pressure on the strings, despite many hours of practice. So when the lute got damaged in transit years ago, she repaired it as best she could and then put it away for good. I never knew it existed until I was 18.
In the early 2000s she wrote a YA novel about a girl who gets sucked into the Fey and has to help save them from domination at the hands of Queen Mab. Too many plot points to summarize, neither can I share a link to it because it no longer exists, save for her and my memory. Imagine if your mom had written The Golden Compass, printed it at home, didn't bother publishing it, then lost both the manuscript and the floppy disk that held the only copy.
She also wrote a sci-fi novel about space-faring amnesiac vampires trying to find their home planet. The twist is that they were the products of a top-secret genetic engineering project headed by Dick Cheney during the War on Terror. When she told a colleague about it, he was so bought in that he asked, "Do you think this could be really happening?"
Very concerned that my mom has chosen the path of bioterrorism.
#and many more#tw trypophobia#personal#my mom#biology#ap bio#music#ya lit#I'll share more if I can think of anything
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a house in the middle of nowhere l Joel Miller
Summary: you and Joel went on patrol together, nothing went your way
Warnings: angst, guns, switchblade, killing people, allusions to sexual abuse, blood
A/N: your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
short stories from life. [masterlist]
# 1/2
"We should be reaching that building in a few minutes."
You nodded and didn't slow down when you heard Joel's footsteps behind you. The leaves crunched under your shoes and the air in the forest was pleasantly cool. It was as if you had done this before.
The flu that had been sweeping through Jackson for a few weeks now had also reached the people patrolling the area. Soon, Tommy had no choice but to ask you and Joel to start working together again.
Despite his concerns, he was pleasantly surprised - you were a great team. That's why he recommended you check out one of the buildings, which was a bit further from your trail.
"Looks good." You said, stopping in front of a small house standing near the end of the forest.
"Yeah. Too good." Joel mumbled. "Do you remember that..."
"I remember." You interrupted him, because your thoughts immediately drifted to a certain house you had found on your way to Jackson. "I saved your ass that time." You smiled, noticing the grimace on Joel's face.
"Keep telling yourself that, darling." he mumbled, heading towards the entrance.
But this time it was safe. The house was small and it took you a few minutes to check all the rooms. Apart from a few canned goods, a few old blankets and a dead bat in the bedroom, everything seemed long forgotten.
"This will be a good base for further patrols." Joel noted as you spread your things in the living room with the intention of spending the night there. "Once we check the area and make sure everything is safe."
You sat down on the dusty couch. The feeling that all this seemed strangely familiar to you filled you since your first joint patrol with Joel.
He didn't press you, he wasn't pushy. The safe distance you wanted to maintain was perceived by him, although you felt his gaze on you many times. You weren't without blame either. Your eyes often lingered on his broad shoulders for a few seconds longer than necessary. You missed him.
"We'll eat something and you can lie down." Joel announced, pulling sandwiches out of his backpack. "I'll take the first watch."
"There's water in the bathroom. Cold, but it's there." You noticed, doing the same as he did.
"Maybe the house is connected to a well. It's hard to tell right now." You handed him a cup of coffee. "Are you going to the party on Saturday?"
You looked at Joel, surprised. "Since when are you interested in parties in Jackson?"
He shrugged and chewed a bite of sandwich. "Ellie asked."
"Oh, did she say anything else?"
"That this new guy, Walsh, asked her about you."
Warmth crept up the back of your neck and you hoped Joel didn't notice your confusion. You weren't dating anyone, you didn't want to. But you knew what Miller was talking about. You and Walsh had been on a few patrols together, and you'd been seen together in the city too.
"Your coffee's getting cold, Joel." you replied, cutting off the discussion.
The room was filled with Joel's quiet snoring. You had been sitting by the window for almost two hours, observing the area. The first rays of sunlight were breaking through the treetops, and you only noticed a few squirrels and a hare.
Your spine was slowly starting to hurt, so you got up quietly and, trying not to wake Joel, you went to the door. Maybe you should have let him know you were leaving, but you saw how much he needed sleep. The lack of people meant that you were almost always outside Jackson, so that those who had families could rest or recover.
You quietly closed the door behind you and inhaled the fresh air. With your finger still near the trigger, you moved forward. The area was quiet, the fog was rising here and there between the trees, and even the birds were just waking up from their sleep.
An unexpected rustling behind you gave you goosebumps. You turned around sharply and saw a pair of rabbits disappearing behind the bushes.
"You scared me." You mumbled to yourself smiling "Don't do that again."
Then you heard a completely unfamiliar voice "I promise I won't do that again, doll."
You turned around sharply and saw the man behind you, then you felt something hit you and darkness engulfed you.
Something was tugging at you. You felt your wrists being tied. Some pushy hands searched all over you, and then someone patted your cheek.
"Doll, wake up!" the same voice, unfamiliar to you "Mike, you hit her too hard."
More steps and someone crouched down next to you. He brushed your hair away from your face.
"Such a pretty face, and look what you did." the first voice hissed "I hope you didn't break her nose."
"Do you need her nose for something?" Mike sneered and patted you on the cheek a few times "Hey! Get up!"
You moaned quietly and opened your eyelids. You almost immediately wanted to back away, but there was a tree behind you, and two men in front of you, who were staring at you with interest.
"Morning, doll." one of them greeted you with a smile "I'm Patrick, and you?"
You pressed your hands together violently, trying to get as far away from them as you could. It was impossible, you knew that.
Fuck! How could you be so careless? You had been with someone last time, but now...
You thought about the sleeping Joel. Maybe you had at least managed to get far enough away from the house that they wouldn't find him so quickly. Hopefully.
"Hey, bitch!" Mike nudged you in the shoulder, and your gaze immediately went to him. "Can you talk? I didn't knock your teeth out, did I?" he cackled as if he had told a good joke.
"No." You replied quietly.
"Good start." Patrick nodded, his eyes lazily moving over your face. There was something strange about him, something slippery and indecent. "Will you tell us what you're doing here, doll?"
"I was walking."
"You were walking." Patrick repeated after you, reaching out and pulling a blade of grass from your hair, there was something in his gesture that gave you shivers "Pretty girls like you shouldn't walk alone. Is anyone with you?"
You shook your head and Mike immediately spat in the grass.
“She's lying!” he growled, standing up. “I'm sure someone's nearby.”
Patrick frowned. 'Come on, I'll help you.' He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you to your feet, then pinned you against a tree. 'Who's with you?' he hissed.
'I'm alone.' you repeated.
'Wrong answer.'
You flinched nervously as a knife blade flashed before your eyes. It was the same switchblade that Joel had given you. You carried it with you, they had to find it when they searched you.
“Listen to me carefully, doll.' Patrick moved the blade to your chest and soon you saw the first button on your shirt pop off, then the second. 'You'll tell us what we want, okay? Be a good girl. Maybe then I'll be gentle with you, huh? I wouldn't want to hurt you...' he made a sad face as if he was really sorry, two more buttons popped off. 'But I haven't had a warm pussy in a while, I might be too hard for you. Unless you like that? Do you like it, doll?"
"I'm alone." You managed to choke out, trying to keep your voice from shaking. "I swear. I... I got away from the group."
"That bitch is lying, I can feel it!" Mike growled, looking around the area. "Do what you have to and let's get out of here."
Patrick watched you closely. His gaze slid down to your chest, which was rising rapidly with every breath. Your bra peeked out from under your shirt, the outline of your breasts must have been clearly visible to him.
"You could have been good, doll..." he whispered. "We could have been something great."
"Please..." you groaned.
At that moment you heard a shot. You didn't know where it came from, but you saw Mike stagger and fall hard to the ground. In an instant Patrick looked up, then looked at you.
"Who is it?!" he growled angrily, pressing you against the trunk so hard that you felt something stab you painfully in the back.
"Your Death." you gasped.
Another shot and warm blood splattered on your face. You slid to the ground gasping for air. Patrick's body lay beneath your legs. Strong hands grabbed your arms and then your face.
"Are you okay?"
Joel!
You nodded your head violently. He noticed the bonds on your wrists and when he looked around he saw the switchblade lying in the grass. He quickly cut the rope. In a second your arms were wrapped around his neck and a quiet cry escaped your throat.
"It's okay, I've got you." he whispered, stroking your hair and back "You're safe."
☆☆☆☆
Thank you for your time.
taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist
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She opened her eyes. Daylight dazzled her.
“You’re awake!” Mothwing gasped beside her.
The air was cold, the light harsh. Frostpaw began to make out Mothwing’s “face. Behind her trembling mentor, she saw Sunbeam and Duskfur and Mistpaw. They were all here. She struggled to lift her head and saw Nightheart and Graypaw and, crowding the entrance, Nightsky and Minnowtail. Outside, her clanmates were jostling to see in. Their eyes were fixed on her, wide and shining with joy as she looked back at them. Her heart skipped a beat. They were waiting for me. They wanted me to come back. The realization filled Frostpaw with an emotion so strong, her throat tightened. She couldn’t speak. She felt a rough tongue lapping her head.
“Don’t rush to sit up.” Mothwing was washing her like a queen washing her kit. She sat back, her eyes bright with joy. “Take as much time as you need. We’re just glad you’re with us again.”
Frostpaw was suddenly aware of how weak she felt, but the deathly heaviness had gone. And she was hungry. Then she saw Tree.
The SkyClan tom was outside, blinking at her from among her Clanmates. “You heard the singing.” He pushed his way into the den. “It brought you back.”
“I was in StarClan,” she told him breathlessly. “Then I heard voices. They carried me here.”
“I’ve seen the Sisters do it,” he told her. “I wondered if it would work for you, so I fetched everyone I could think of. All the she-cats who love you.”
Frostpaw looked around once more at the faces of her Clanmates, and at Nightheart and Sunbeam. They really were shining with love for her. Her heart quickened. For the first time in moons, she didn’t feel alone.
I can't tell you how many hours I've spent tweaking the lighting and color filters on this. It's been multiple days of the drawing itself being done and just doing countless tweaking. I'm still not happy with it but I'm just. Done. I'm proud of how the poses and shading on the cats turned out and the composition of the piece, and I'm sure I'll be happier with it in a few months looking back on it, but right now I'm just. Blah.
Frostpaw is of course in the nest with a slathering of cobwebs over her throat wound, Mothwing is licking her head while Duskfur is leaning over her. Then in the middle row we have from left to right Sunbeam, Mistpaw, Tree, Nightheart, and Graypaw, then in the front on the left is Nightsky, then Icewing in the very corner of the image, with Minnowtail (who needs a new ref sheet but the new TEQ kiddies will probably get theirs first) just behind her.
The RiverClan medicine den is described as under a thorn bush overhanging a stream between two mossy rocks, with a stretch of pebbles in front of the den, and herbs hidden behind reeds within the den, so I tried to show all of that accurately.
#warrior cats#erin hunter#warriors#wc#a starless clan spoilers#star spoilers#asc spoilers#a starless clan#Frostpaw#Frostdawn#Mothwing#Duskfur#Sunbeam#Mistpaw#Tree#Nightheart#Graypaw#Nightsky#Icewing#Icestar#Minnowtail#RiverClan#SkyClan#ThunderClan#ShadowClan
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November Rain Part 2 (Eddie X Plus Size Reader)
A/N: You have decided 😈 I'll release this now then :) Enjoy the angst and the cliffhanger! *dances away in an angsty fashion*.
Warnings: Older (Early to Mid 30s) Dominate Boxer (Friend's Dad) Eddie X Plus Size Fem younger (early to mid 20s) sub Y/N, SMUT, Daddy Kink, public-ish smut (quickie at work), FLUFF, Eddie really does love his daughter and is trying to be a better father. He also really cares about you which leads me to...
ANGST! Reader mentions that Eddie disappears for a bit and how it affects her (brief), mentions of worry when it comes to their relationship (both are aware they can only keep this hidden for so long which kind of fuels he choice at the end of this chapter), Eddie also kind of keeps his ex and marriage close to his chest (struggles to talk about it), we meet Paige's mom, Paige gets wasted and you take care of her, I think that's it. OH! Cliffhanger ending 😈 I LOVE YOU!
Word Count: 4608
Part 1/Donate to Me
2 weeks.
It had been two weeks since you found out the man you had been intimate with was your roommate and friend’s father. Two weeks of silence even though you left him your phone number by his nightstand praying he’d call only to find out a few hours later that things were way more complicated than they should be.
Two weeks of dreaming of his lips and hands roaming your skin while he whispered in your ear how beautiful you were. Two weeks of crying at night because you desperately missed the sound of his laugh and hated that life was so un-fucking-fair.
Two weeks of misery.
“I’m sorry, Paige.”, you murmured as you glared out the window.
“Honey, it’s no problem. Your car was doomed to die sooner or later. I’m surprised it ran for as long as it has.”, your friend chuckles as she rubs your arm. “We’ll get through this, Y/N.”
Following the tow truck pulling your car, she lets out a heavy sigh as her head hangs seeing a face you both recognize as he steps out towards the vehicle and speaks with the driver before heading towards you both.
“What are you doing here? You’re normally off on Wednesdays.”, Paige growls as Eddie scans her over drying his hands on the rag from his back pocket.
“I’ve, um, been doing some overtime. What happened, sweetheart? Your car die?”
“No. My friend’s.”, she gestures towards you.
Without looking your way, he nods and guides you both towards the garage before popping the hood.
“Go ahead and take a seat in the lobby. Y/N…was it? Can you stay and tell me what’s been going on with the vehicle?”
“Yeah, sure.”, you affirm, nodding towards Paige to assure her that you could handle yourself as she disappeared into the building.
“Jesus Christ, I can already tell you this engine is shot.”, Eddie sighs as he leans under the hood.
“Yeah, um, I’ve had it for years and it was my dads before that. It runs but sometimes if I go over a certain speed this part—”
“Careful!”, he shouts as he hastily grabs your hand before you can touch anything.
Time seems to stop as his fingers connect with your skin. You didn’t realize how deeply you missed that feeling and when his eyes finally met yours you knew he felt it to.
“Don’t…don’t want you to get burned.”, Eddie mumbled as he let you go and turned back around.
“I’ve been burned before.”, you sigh causing his head to hang. “Why didn’t you call?”
“I didn’t think it was appropriate.”
“You’re right. I guess I don’t deserve an explanation or anything.”
His chocolate eyes glare your way before focusing on the parts in front of him once more.
“I didn’t say that.”
“No, your fucking actions did.”, you growl. “I guess Paige was right about you.”
“Listen here, little girl.”, he grumbles as he stands up straight and points his finger at your chest. “You don’t know fucking anything about me or my family so I suggest you keep your fucking mouth shut.”
Glaring his way, you take one step forward till the tip of his index was pressing hard into your skin.
“You’re right, I don’t because you didn’t call and what you did fucking tell me was a lie.”
“I DIDN’T—“, he starts to shout before looking around, grabbing your wrist, and dragging you to an office in the back of the garage. “I didn’t lie.”
“You said you weren’t married.”
“I’m in the middle of a divorce.”
“Don’t play semantics with me!” As he starts to lift his hand to silence you, you shove his chest. “You said you were a boxer.”
“I AM a boxer.”, Eddie grunts with annoyance and as your eyes search his, you realize you’ve touched a nerve.
“You made it sound like it was your career. You’re a fucking mechanic.”
“I’m working and training to make that my career. I work here to make money for my family.”
“That you left.”
The man steps towards closer till his nose is hover just above your own.
“I said shut your fucking mouth. I love my daughter and I loved my wife before we separated. There are things Paige doesn’t know and I plan to keep it that way because what happened in our marriage should be between me and her mother. Even though she keeps dragging her into our business…”
Your gaze remains locked with his till a heavy sigh leaves your chest and an involuntary tear slides down your cheek.
“You hurt me.”, your whisper causing his strong features to falter. “I didn’t expect this. I didn’t even want to go on that stupid date but then I met you and we had a good time… I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you. I hate that some of your cologne is still clinging to my fucking dress. I hate that I miss your lips and the way you made me feel—”
Abruptly, Eddie’s hands cupped your cheeks and his mouth crashed to yours. Your arms circled around his waist as you pulled him closer to you, your fists clenching around his dirty jumpsuit.
“I’m sorry.”, he murmured when he pulled back enough to allow you both to get some air. “I never meant to hurt you… I liked being with you to, sweetheart, and not just sexually, but this is wrong.”
“I know, Daddy, I know.” At your words, a strong groan leaves his lips as his forehead rests against yours. “H-Have you been thinking about me to?”
You knew it wasn’t right but you couldn’t help dropping into that headspace. You had felt so vulnerable these last couple of weeks and he had been the only man in a long time to make you feel cared for. To have him in front of you after missing him so much was making you needy and the desperate energy that was radiating from him wasn’t helping.
“Why do you think I’ve been working so much overtime?”, he chuckles. “I needed a distraction because every waking moment I miss your face. I dream about you, Y/N.”
As he continues to speak, your hips grind against his allowing the prominent dent below his waist graze along your panty covered core.
“I can smell your perfume on my sheets. When I’m training, I picture you watching me like you did when I first saw you. Sometimes—shit—sometimes I imagine I’m punching that fucking idiot that hurt you.” Eddie smiles when a breathy laugh leaves your lips. “When I’m on my bike, I wish you were holding me like you did on the ride back to the gym. Jesus, any chance to feel you’re your sexy legs wrapped around me…”
“Like this?”, you ask, lifting one of your legs around his waist.
At the action, his head falls into the nook between your neck and shoulder, pressing himself harder against you as he rubs his crotch against your center.
“Ah my god, baby.”, he whispers causing you to shutter as you try to pull him closer to you. “Fuck this.”
At Eddie’s abrupt grunt of annoyance, he pulls away enough to unzip his jumpsuit and push it down just below his waist. Your eyes take in the beads of sweat that cling to his muscular arms and chest, ready and willing to lick it off his skin if he wanted. After moving your panties to the side, he maneuvered his hips till his cock slid a bit roughly into your entrance.
“Mmph—so big, Daddy. I missed having you inside me…so deep.”
His large palm gripped the back of your thigh, pulling it high up his waist while his open mouth kisses along your throat had your eyes rolling.
“J-Just like that, baby, please. I need your cum. Please, cum with me.”
Rolling his hips, Eddie repeatedly slammed into that spongy spot inside at you, leaving you a trembling mess as you clung your arms around his neck and smothered your whimper in his shoulder as you came.
It didn’t take him long to follow as he groaned and his fingers dug into your skin as his release coated your insides.
Neither of you moved as you panted in each other’s embrace.
“Edward Munson!?”
At the sound of his name, you half expected him to jump away from you and adjust himself but when fingers gripped you tighter you were surprised.
“Who is that?”, you whisper calmly.
“My boss.”, he replies in an equally lower register.
“Should you get back out there?”
When he nods, you begin to lower your leg but he just holds you tighter as he nuzzles his nose into your neck.
“I don’t want to let you go.”, Eddie murmurs into your skin. “If I do…the reality of our situation comes back and…I don’t want that, Y/N.”
Your fingers tenderly thread through his hair as you duck your head so your lips can kiss his.
“I know, baby, I know. I don’t know what to do though.”
“Me either.”
“EDWARD MUNSON!”
“YEAH! I’m fucking coming! Give me a goddamn minute!”, he shouts before backing away from you and adjusting your outfit. “Maybe…maybe we can just be friends…at least. I miss your voice…”
“Ok.”
Your eyes lock with his after watching him tie the upper half of his jumpsuit around his waist.
“Ok.” Turning around, he grabs some paper off the desk behind him and writes down his phone number. “Text or call if you need anything or just want to talk. I’ll reach out to you later about your car. It’s going to take longer than a night to fix. Do either of you need a ride?”
“Oh, um, no. Paige and I followed the tow truck in her car so we can take that home.”
“Oh, pfft, that’s right. My brain sometimes...”
“I understand.”, you smile as you start to walk away but his hand around your wrist tugs you back as his lips lightly kiss yours again.
“I just wanted to taste you one last time.”
“One last time.”, you repeat before turning to leave.
***
There were many “last times” over the next couple of months.
You two couldn’t stay away from each other for long but you knew this was wrong so after every intimate moment or night spent together, you promised this would be it. Especially since, according to Paige, Eddie was trying to be more in her life.
“I’m trying to let him in more but with the divorce hearing and everything, my mom is flipping her lid. My graduate school is doing that exhibit for art students and I want them both to go but I don’t want it to be thing.”
“I understand, honey. This is a big deal for you and your work is amazing. All the attention should be on you. The few times I’ve talked with your parents, they seem like they can keep it together for one night.”
“Hm.”, she sasses as she rolls her eyes making you laugh. “You’ll be there right?”
“Of course. I’m taking the night off to be there.”
“Good.”, she sighs as she leans her head on your shoulder. “You can help be my referee.”
You smiled and nodded but that was the absolute last thing you wanted to be.
***
The smell of rubber and sweat promptly hit you as soon as you open the gym door with the key Eddie gave you. He had already moved into his new apartment but the metalhead liked to come by after work and train as much as he could.
They gym itself closed around 8pm but the owner seemed to trust this particular boxer, allowing him to come and go at will. When you found him, you could vaguely hear the metal music that was blasting from his headphones as he punched the bag in front of him.
Eddie’s eyes were zeroed in on his target as he continued to follow one swing with another. Sauntering to his phone on the edge of the ring, you couldn’t help but take in the picture of him and a much younger Paige on his lockscreen as he kissed her cheek while she smiled at the camera. They both looked so happy.
Pausing his music, he angrily turned before realizing it was you and his gaze immediately softened.
“Hey. Hey, sweetheart. I didn’t expect you.”, panted as he removed his gloves and took out the earbuds. “Everything all right?”
With a half smile you flashed him his phone screen and he cautiously came over to sit beside you as he continued to try to get a read on what was going on inside your head.
“I still remember when that was taken. Paige was about ten or eleven and the three of us went to a park to have fun. She lifted her arms in that boxing stance and took a couple of light swings.”, he chuckles. “That was a few months before I started training. I had mentioned to her how when I was her age I wanted to be a boxer. She encouraged me to try… I don’t know if she even remembers that after everything.”
“She’s worried about the exhibit this weekend. She’s afraid that you and your ex will fight and ruin a night that’s supposed to be about her.”
Eddie’s eyes squeeze shut as he sighs and takes your hand in his.
“I can understand why she would feel that way. My ex and I… I’ve tried so hard to…”, he stutters as he struggles to find the words.
“I feel bad, Eddie.”, you whisper as his chocolate irises find yours. “She’s right. This should be about her but this is the first time I’m going to be in the same room with you two since my car broke down AND your ex, her mom, who I’ve met will be there…”
“Sweetheart, baby, come on. Everything’s going to be alright.”, he coos as he kisses your forehead. “Just be yourself and focus on Paige. I can handle the rest.”
############
“Calm down.”, you tease as you tug lightly on your roommate’s skirt as she dances in front of her artwork.
“I’m calm! I’m calm. I’m just so excited.”
“Hey, sweetheart.”, Eddie beamed as he sauntered towards Paige and reached down for a hug that she eagerly accepted. You knew she would be more open tonight because she was in such a good mood and the warmth that glowed from the metalhead as she wrapped her arms around him had you grinning from ear to ear.
You liked seeing them both happy.
“Hey there, Y/N.”, he greets politely as he tosses you a smile. “Geez, you both look gorgeous. I feel like I’m underdressed.”
Since you met him, you had never seen Eddie this dressed up and to you he looked as delicious as ever in his suit and tie with his hair pulled back out of his face. The man tried to control his eyes as they raked across you in your cute blue dress that rested just above your knees.
“I think you look great, dad. Oh, there’s my professor. I’ll be right back! Y/N, show him my work.”
Eddie couldn’t help but laugh as he watched her excitedly bounce away before focusing on her art hanging on the wall.
“Paige was always a really talented artist.”, he muses as he absorbs the image in front of him. “I, uh, I guess I see now why you didn’t make the connection that we were related.”, the man murmurs sullenly as he gestures towards her signature.
Paige Davis
“I’m sorry, Eddie.”, you whisper back wishing desperately that you could hold him.
As the night wore on, you remained next to your friend while her father roamed the area occasionally sneaking glances at you from afar. He absolutely adored what a caring friend you were to his daughter knowing that’s exactly what she needed with everything going on in her life.
He always hated that his ex insisted on telling Paige everything going on in their divorce even more so that he knew she was purposely omitting truths to make him look like that asshole. Eddie could do the same if he wanted to but he refused to stoop that low and not just because it was wrong to pull her into that but because he also knew how much Paige loved her mother. He knew how important it was to have her in his daughter’s life after losing his own at such a young age so he chose to allow the narrative to continue even if that made him the bad guy.
He just prayed you didn’t see him that way either.
The boxer hated having to hide you knowing a beautiful woman like you deserved to be lavished and seen.
But what could he do?
Not only were you his daughter’s friend but he was going through a messy divorce, in-between careers, barely had an income, and he’d be lying if he didn’t say the age difference made him feel slightly insecure.
Eddie accepted the way things were at the moment but he knew it couldn’t stay that way forever.
“Paige, honey, oh my god, this is amazing.”, her mom squealed as you watched them both hug. “Hey, Y/N, how are you? You look beautiful.”
“Thank you, Ms. Davis.”, you awkwardly smile as she leans down to hug you as well.
“Now, who do I speak with to buy this gorgeous work of art?”
“Mom. My professor has to review it first along with all the others.”, Paige whines.
“I mean, obviously, you’ll get a good grade.”
The smell of his cologne hits you before your friend’s nervous eyes do.
“You know maybe Dominick would like it in his living room so we can show it off you know? Oh, hey Edward.”, her mother coos in a syrupy tone that has even you wanting to roll your eyes.
“Ava.”, Eddie greets. “How are you?”
“Great! Absolutely wonderful.”
As the night progresses, something changes. Paige, who had been spending most of the night in front of her artwork, had vanished and you promptly went on the hunt for her before finding her in a bathroom stall.
“Paige? Oh my.”, you sass as you inhale the smell of liquor wafting from her lips when you open the door to check in.
“Hey, Y/N! My bes fer-en.”, she slurs.
“Ok, how much have you had, honey? Don’t you still need to talk to your professor?”
“Pfft, no. I done. Uh oh…”, she chuckles before throwing herself over the toilet to vomit.
“Alright, sweetie. You’re ok. Get it all out.”
“My-my mom invited her boyfr-en. I mean…I guess he’s not technically her boyfr-en…I don’t know. Ma dad is gonna be pissed.”, she giggles as you help her to her feet and guide her to the sink to wash her hands and face.
“Let’s talk about that later. Like you said, tonight is supposed to be about you.”
“I don know why he be so angry. I think he has a girlfr-en or something. Plus, they haven’t been together for a year.”
You try to block out her words but it’s hard especially when you walk her out the door and are suddenly bombarded by the sound of yelling.
“Tonight was supposed to be about her, Ava!”
“HEY! I’m only going to say this one more fucking time. Don’t speak to my girlfriend like that!”
“You don’t have any fucking say in this as far as I’m concerned! Now excuse me while I talk to the mother of my fucking child.”
“She’s not a child, Edward, and she doesn’t mind that I bring him. You’re the one that seems to be causing the problem and putting attention on yourself.”
“That’s right. Make me the fucking bad guy even though you’ve been parading him around in front of me the last couple of hours.”
The sound of your grunt as Paige collapses in your arms grabs their attention as all eyes turn your way.
“I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry…she’s drunk. I was just trying to get her to my car…”
“No, um, no worries, Y/N, I can take her.”
As the other man steps forward, you spin your friend out of his grasp.
“I know them. I don’t know you.”, you growl. “All I know is that you being here upset her so I’m not letting you touch her.”
“Dom, it’s ok, baby.”, she calls his way before glaring at Eddie. “This your fucking fault.”
“She didn’t want him here, Ava.”
“No, you don’t want him here.”, she hisses before taking her boyfriend’s hand and heading to their car.
Angerly, he stalks your way and collects his daughter in his arms.
“I’ll follow you to your place and help you get her in bed.”, he grumbles, buckling her in before heading for his motorcycle.
***
“I don’t think I’ve seen your room before.”, he sighs with a smile as he looks around at all your things.
After getting Paige in bed, he took the opportunity and followed you across the hall into your bedroom. Eddie took solace in the fact that you were a bit messy like him, taking note of all the clothes on the floor and your bed half made. You had posters of different movies as well as some of your friend’s artwork that he immediately recognized.
You watch as he picks up random items on your dresser including your perfume that he inhales and smirks at the familiar scent.
“My parents.”, you answer when he flashes you a photo in a frame.
“You look like them.”
“Eddie, why does her boyfriend make you so jealous?”
At your question, he sighs as he places the image back down and turns to face you leaning against the furniture.
“I don’t know.”, he shrugs. “Maybe it’s because we aren’t even fucking divorced yet and she’s calling him her boyfriend while talking about him like he’s the love of her fucking life.”
“You two aren’t divorced and you’re fucking me.”
“It’s different.”
“How?”
His large chocolate eyes meet yours before coming around and descending to his knees in front of you.
“Y/N, I did everything and I mean EVERYTHING to make my marriage work. It was never enough. To her…I had failed as a husband and she was…is…going to whatever she can to punish me for that.” As your gaze shifts to the floor, his fingers quickly grab your chin to bring your focus back to him. “Talk to me.”
“I think…the reason it’s different is because she can parade him around and claim him. You can’t do that with me.”
“I want to.”, he whispers. “More than anything.”
“But…”
“I don’t know what to do, Y/N. It would fucking kill Paige if she found out but I know it’s killing you, sweetheart. You deserve to be seen and shown off.”
“Eddie…maybe, we—”
“Don’t. Please don’t say we should stop.”, he murmurs as his head falls into your lap and on impulse your hand comes up to run your fingers through his hair. “I don’t want to lose you, baby.”
Hearing your sniffles, he lifts his head and his palms cup your cheeks as he catches your tears with his thumbs.
“No, princess, no. Don’t cry. Daddy’s here, baby girl. Everything’s going to be ok.”
Collecting you in his arms, you allow him to hold you as he continuous to whisper soft words of endearment and adoration. After a while, you allow him to undress you and make love to you; his palm clasped over your mouth to silence the screams that are on the edge of your tongue with every orgasm he pulls from you.
“Can I stay? I promise I’ll leave as soon as the sun comes up.”, Eddie murmurs as he continues to trail gently pecks along your skin. “I just don’t want to let you go right now.”
You nod knowing “right now” will eventually come. You fall asleep in his arms and wake up alone but unlike other nights where you both had done this…this time kills you.
#################
Eddie grumbles under his breath as he slams the phone a bit to roughly on the table in front of him. It had been a few days since he had heard from you and he was starting to get incredibly worried. Usually if you couldn’t talk, you would leave a little emoji or tell him you’d reply “ASAP” but since that night after his daughter’s exhibit, you would read his messages but never reply.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey…hey, Paige, sweetheart. It’s good to see you.”, he grins as he tries to hide his pain so he can enjoy lunch with his daughter. They rarely did this anymore and he savored every moment he got. “How are you? Tell me everything.”
One of the many traits she got from him was her gift of gab. Once she started talking, she could go on and on and Eddie loved it. He absorbed everything she said and laughed whenever she would make a little joke at her expense.
“Ugh and then Y/N’s got her own bit of chaos.”
At the sound of your name, he tried not to let the concern show on his face as he casually replied, “Oh yeah? What’s going on with her?”
“I guess her and that boxer guy she liked split or something. She spent the last couple of days just completely broken and sobbing. We’ve had a lot of girl’s nights filled with ice cream and movies.”, she giggled before sighing as Eddie’s heart breaks.
You hadn’t said you wanted to stop seeing him, not directly, and he was pretty sure he hadn’t said anything to make you think he wanted your relationship to end. He cared about you very much and hated not being around you or hearing from you.
“And of course, guess who calls like dog who can sense that she’s upset? Her fucking ex. Oh shit, dad! Are you ok?!”
Eddie hadn’t realized that while Paige was speaking, his grip around his glass had gotten tighter and tighter until she mentioned your ex causing it to break under his grasp.
“Huh? Fuck. Yeah, I’m fine.”, he replies as he reaches for napkins to clean up the mess. “So did they get back together or what?”
“Oh, I don’t know. She’s had dinner with him a couple of times but I don’t think they are. She said she wanted to go slow and hear what he had to say. I mean they were together for a while.”
“Yeah…well, shit. Good for her, I guess.”, he seethes.
“Yeah. I told her I was going to your match on Saturday with my boyfriend and that she should come so I can vet him. See what he’s up to but she seemed skeptical about going. Maybe she’s afraid the boxer guy will be there to. Do you know who he is? She’s never told me his name.”
“Uh, no I don’t but tell her they both should come. The more the merrier and if that boxer guy shows up, I can kick his ass. Maybe we can all have dinner together and I can help you vet him.”
Paige laughs when he lightly taps her hand.
“Won’t it be weird? You’ll be like a fifth wheel.”
“Oh, don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure I can find someone to bring along. If you’re ok with that, of course.”
“Ok! Sounds like a plan. This is going to be interesting.”
She had no idea.
###################
@dashingdeb16 @myherometalhead @micheledawn1975 @hardladyheart @chelebelletx @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @paleidiot @alphabetically-deranged @sophiejayne-illustrations713 @yesimabratandwhataboutot @idkwhattoputhere08 @gryffindorqueensworld @mewchiili @veemoon @heavenlyhorrors @twirls827 @jamiecb66 @chelebelletx @longpondlibrary @friendly-neighborhood-ghoul @hellv1ra @utterlyinsanity
#eddie munson#eddie munson smut#eddie munson fluff#joseph quinn#joseph quinn smut#joseph quinn fluff#eddie munson x reader#stranger things#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x female reader#eddie fanfic#fan fiction#stranger things fic#stranger things fanfiction#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson x fem!reader fluff#eddie munson angst#eddie munson fanfic#older eddie munson#Spotify#eddie munson x plus size reader#plus size reader#daddy eddie
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Belle was only slightly wrong, he really wanted to blitz over there and find this GUN leader and give him a beating. But Surge was right, and belle to, and especially miles. He couldn't let his emotions get the better of him no matter how justified he felt in wanting to hurt them. His mother would be disappointed with him, she'd probably lecture him. You have divine blood sonic, you have to be better sonic, you can't just hurt people sonic--- damn it why not? People deserved it! what did it matter if his dad was a god? fuck that man and the cloud he rides around on!
Belle was Heavy sure but that was sort of unavoidable, and he'd drug knuckles around he was pretty big guy to! his divine heritage gave him lots of advantages and this was just one of them. He just smiled at her as she righted herself and stayed close in case she needed to steady herself.
" Heh--- i guess so, I get pretty sea sick actually. It's why i hate boats, and water... and boats on water... and water mazes... and sewers.. ya know everything water related... "
He also sank like a rock, probably related to his fathers blood, as most gods had a weakness of some kind. Even Demi Gods like he and blaze.
" Yea i figured if i kept to a low gear you'd be better off, besides it wasn't far enough to need cruising speed. Ah Self Improvement--- I don't think that's what they mean... but hey in your case! it totally works! heh! let's get inside and see what's up! I doubt Surge will stay put to long... i know i couldn't ..."
================================================
Altiss checked his chart for Whisper making a few notes and set it back down, she would recover just fine. Though the fur might take time to regrow in a few spots. Still it could have been alot worse, and he didn't feel a need to lecture either of them. They were soldiers this was the sort of thing they had to do, it was there job. Now if they'd just relax and heal up they'd be good.
" Hmm? I wish there was a miracle cure, but no i am afraid this will take time. Though i'm hoping by days end you can at least move and eat on your won. Just take it slow, the last thing you want to do is trip and fall and break something... "
The snake walked back over to Tangle taking her hand and turning it face up in his palms.
" Try moving your fingers... the anti-venom i gave you should be counteracting the poison. By now it should be taking effect, though it could take several hours before you have full mobility back... I'm a Doctor though, not a miracle worker. This is the best i can do... you are lucky, things could have been worse. "
He set her hand down and crossed his arms giving her a serious look of a war time doctor.
" You know all Octopi are venomous... including mobian Octopi... at there most lethal there toxins are 1000 x's more toxic then cyanide. Even if his is half that... well you can see how that would be bad. At any rate i'll keep your family out, as per your request--- though what do you want me to tell them? "
"You say that, though I still felt like if I hadn't stood in your way you'd have just run off to do the same as Surge. Stand there and look all scary." The only difference is Sonic's intentions tended to be more pure, though the Belle knew him decently well at this point. The tinkerer just didn't want to risk it and then the two speedsters starting to go at it in a fist fight or something.
Belle certainly wasn't expecting to be picked up by Sonic, and was sure he'd be in for a surprised as he was a bit heavier than she looked. The tinkerer didn't get a chance to protest the sudden action as the hedgehog suddenly dashed off. It clearly wasn't as fast as he could go, though still pretty fast for her. A moment later she was set down outside the command center.
"Everything has motor skills, they're important part even for robots. You offset that anything will feel sick, it just some have it worse than others." Belle was sure Sonic didn't deal with that issue too often as moving as such high speeds meant it would be harder to make him feel offset and sick. "This wasn't too bad since I've done a few upgrades to myself. If you had ran full speed it'd be a different story."
===========================================================
"Are you sure there's nothing you can do to speed it up doc? If GUN is knocking then I wanna be able to knock back if I have too." Tangle never had any interaction with GUN herself, though her father always talked about them. Maybe got his brutal parenting style from them too, so that was reason enough not to like them. Though her main reason was for what they've done to Whisper. The lemur would never forgive them for that.
"And before I forget, can you not let my family see me, or just not tell them if you haven't. Trust me, the last thing I need is family drama. I doubt you'd be very happy if an argument broke out between me and them." Not to mention Tangle would be worried Whisper might try to fight them if things got too out of hand. The lemur just couldn't move, though the wolf was covered in some pretty bad burns.
#Blue Streak Speeds By#Sonic#Gears and Starters#Belle#Restoration Medical Staff#Altiss#Locked on Target#Whisper
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little secret
a/n: hiiiiii bbs, sorry for the long gaps between fic drops for this series, life hates me and sometimes i just dont have the time to write </////3 or the motivation which is worse. waahhhh!!! HOWEVER, i was gifted some free time the past month, and because i love you guys so so much, i birth to you all: my first am34 fic <333333
pairing: auston matthews x fem!reader
warnings: SMUT! sex toys (lush toy), edging, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, overstimulation, cockwarming, swearing, auston being in loveeeeee, secret relationship, confession of feelings
word count: 3.4k
taglist: @shoot-the-puck , @11livpangburn , @eastoncowan , @boqvistsbabe , @sweetiet , @p1tstop , @occasionallyaurora , @laurenairay , @fallinallincurls , @andrea9 , @dylpickle4791 , @biznastysloneshift12 , @dramatic-queen
series masterpost
the vibrating feeling in between your thighs made you grip the edge of the counter top, almost dropping your drink. a moan escaped your throat as the pressure increased, your legs bucking before you felt yourself coming close to the edge.
“please please oh please” you mumble quietly but then the vibrations disappear all together again. you take a deep breath with a little whine.
you walk back to the couch, setting your small snack on the coffee table. watching as the leafs began to make it back out to the ice for the third period. knowing the teasing would take a break for the rest of the game unless he so happened to have his phone on the bench too.
—
it all started with a birthday present. a more mischievous gift for a relationship that's just freshly bloomed in the last few months. but your relationship is open and free and gratifying like that.
it was a small, curvy, hot pink toy. one that has devilish capabilities with the mere connection to a phone app. auston knew you would love it, and you also knew he would use the toy to its fullest potential—edging and overstimulating your folds as much as he can. and you do in fact love it, so it isn't surprising that you obliged when he handed it to you this afternoon. a mischievous grin on his face.
“need you to put this on for me, baby” he mentions gently, handing you the toy.
you take it in your palm, already imagining the impending feeling between your thighs. “when would you play with me though?” you ask, pondering the thought on how he’d manage in front of the team, nevermind the coaching crew.
he grins again, “i'll find a way. just need you to be a good girl and keep it in until i come home okay?”
you nod, biting your lip.
“i'll be nice, i promise” he mentions with a kiss to your cheek before a kiss to your lips.
—
unless his idea of nice was having you edged every single fucking time his finger began to play with the controls of the toy, then he was in fact nice. you were flustered, frustrated, being edged to reach any sort of release. you squirmed and whined as it tickled the bundle of nerves inside of you again as the team prepared for press. ready to discuss the well earned blowout win against the ducks, and the sixth hattrick of the season for auston.
you couldn’t deny it, auston looked so good out there on the ice—working the puck around bodies like nothing. and it made your heart swell that during the intermissions he couldn’t help but take the time and think of you, play with you, but oh did you want him home. in your arms so he can do you right.
you weren't even sure if you were overstimulated, even though he's been playing with you on-and-off for the past three hours and a half, you just wanted to cum. and oh god please on his cock.
—
auston kept his interview short and sweet, wanting to make it home earlier than usual despite the attention and requests regarding another outstanding performance. he wanted to get home to you.
the boys noticed his eagerness to skim through the usual routine, poking around and asking him if he's got a girl waiting at home. he gave a low smile, not discussing further than that. they didn't know about you yet. nobody knew.
being your boyfriend, he wasn't thrilled about the public eye getting a glimpse of you just yet. sure, he wants to take you out to a fancy dinner, hold your hand while you're walking home from the movies. of course he would want to show you off to the boys just so they can chirp him about how he landed you. but you were too special. too soft, kind and sweet. too perfect, he thought. he didn't want anyone to say otherwise, anyone to try to ruin you. the day will come when they know your name, sure. yet even when the moment arrives, when everyone finally lays eyes on you, he knows he’ll still be a protective force. always. if that means you’re his little secret for now, then so be it.
right now, you were all his. without anyone knowing. his warm soul. his dripping core. the one that he wants… no. he needs. right now. so badly.
—
when he got home his belongings were quickly discarded to the side. auston relishing in the warm and soothing atmosphere you have created out of his apartment, his senses welcomed by the sweet smell of you. the house always felt empty those nights you couldn’t be with him. your presence had brought a light to the home that it never had, that none of the other flings managed to spark.
he noticed your lounge pants laying near the couch in the living room. your slippers discarded on the other side. he moved forward to grab them, but placed it back down when he noticed your shirt near the entrance of the bedroom. a smile grew on his face.
a few steps forward granted him a beautiful view—his favourite view—the sole reason why he rushed through the toronto night traffic.
you sat at the edge of your bed in a satin lingerie slip. your hair was messy in that pretty way that framed your face, the way that made aus bite his lip in admiration. your lips softly pouted a “missed you.”
your legs slowly opened apart, showing your arousal from the night sopping through the fabric of your underwear. auston gave a low groan, and licked his lips.
“need you. so bad.” you whine.
he walks towards you, and you instantly wrap your legs around him to connect your lips. his grip on your hips yanks you higher onto the bed, allotting him space to get on and tower over you. you nip on his lip as you both break for air.
“you were mean” you murmur. he smirked, “i promised you i'd be nice, that's why i'm gonna make her feel so much better” he says, cupping your dripping core.
you whimper, “please”
his fingers hook on your panties, pulling them down and throwing them to the side. he reaches for the tail of the lush toy, making sure to gently pull the rest of it out. you squirmed at the emptiness, aus seeing the way your entrance clenched around nothing.
“you did s’good, baby. taking it like a good girl” he mutters in your ear as his lips attach to your neck. his wet kisses mixed with his nipping move down to your collarbone, then to the tops of your breasts.
he makes sure to keep his work up until he knows purple and red marks will litter your skin in a couple of hours. making it difficult for you to hide them everytime you leave his apartment. god forbid your friends see them. you're not in the mood to be forced to disclose any more details about your boyfriend. you just wanna keep living in this little bubble the two of you have managed to keep.
not yet. just a little longer.
“mmm, you looked so good out there baby” you manage to mutter. trying your best to not get lost in his kisses but sometimes it's just too hard.
you can feel his smile against your skin. “thank you” he says, kissing on top of his mouth’s handiwork before grabbing you by the hips and bringing you to sit down on his lap.
“your sixth hattrick. not everyone can do that” you speak again, smiling, running your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck.
his smile didn't leave his face, leaning in to kiss you tenderly. “…nevermind the fact that this was your second back-to-back hatty” you say against his lips.
this time he begins to blush, in what you think is quite literally the most beautiful way possible. you can't help but to kiss him again. he looks down while squeezing your hips before looking back up and letting out a light chuckle. “we gonna keep talking about it or are you going to let me celebrate with you? hm?”
it's your turn to flush a bit. embarrassed you may have been discussing something in a situation where you shouldn’t even be talking in the first place. but you couldn't help it, you wanted to give him all the possible affirmations you could.
“m’sorry” you reply, wrapping your arms tighter around his frame, endeavouring in the taste of his mouth once again. you can feel the mint from the gum he was chewing on the drive back home. it relaxes you.
one of his hands stays pressed on your spine, scrunching the material of your night slip between his fingers, while his other hand travels down. his large palm shamelessly grabbing your ass, moulding your flesh to the shape of his fingers. your skin quickly heats up again and your mind swirls over the rhythm of his tongue against yours and the bulge growing beneath you. aus presses you down, hard, against his clothed lap, it feels like he's already fucking you. but it's the illusion of his fingers bluntly sliding between your folds and pressing over your opening, stirring a good moan out of you.
he sticks in a finger and you subconsciously bite down on his lip. he hums before sticking in another and you accidentally do the same thing again. there's a burning feeling between your thighs, perhaps you are overstimulated after all. but that's not stopping you. you still want him to help you to that finish line that he so cruelly didn't let you reach.
he pumps in and out a bit, making sure you’re wet enough. that was surely a fact, with the way your juices covered his fingers so exceedingly. anticipation continued to build inside of auston, causing the bulge between his thighs to strain against his dress pants. hes been thinking about you the whole night, and your pussy even more.
you untug auston’s shirt, allowing you to unbutton his pants. he helps you pull them off of his legs, while you take off his shirt from his sculpted chest. you run your fingers down his torso, following the lines that shape him. his lips connect to your neck, immediately finding your pulse point. you grind down on him and he allows a groan to escape his lips and echo in your ear. you smile.
“can i take this off?” he asks, tugging at your slip.
you nod needily, the cold air hardening your nipples at the exposure. auston can't help but groan again, yanking you up so he can attach his lips to them. you whine sharply, feeling the tip of his cock nudging near your entrance as well.
he releases your one nipple with a “pop”, sinking you down on his length before you can even make out a sound.
“m’fuck” you mumble, your body ablaze.
“god you’re truly the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen” he says. holding your hips back to get a good look at you.
“auston…” you whine at him, blood rushing to your cheeks again in slight shyness. however your walls clench around him.
“let me compliment you.” he laughed, helping your hips sway against his lap. left, right, up and down, it all felt exactly how you wanted. perfect.
your cunt was soaking wet. the sounds the two of you make where your bodies connect is unholy. auston’s fingers have a tight grip on your love handles, trying his best to keep himself together for you. he chose to focus on littering whatever skin he can reach with more marks, making sure you remember you’re his when you wake up tomorrow morning.
with all the emotions and sensations it truly doesn't take you long to feel the addictive feeling deep in your stomach again. eyes fluttering shut, mewls escaping your pink plump lips, boobs swaying gracefully with your movements, it's like a scene out of a dream the way your walls have a snug grip on auston’s cock. shes perfect, he notes to himself.
he holds you close to him, before moving you to lay down on the bed. he pushes his hands under your thighs and lifts your hips. the position slides him even deeper. makes his cock push up into you, into that spongy part inside that forces your eyes to roll back even more. your thighs begin to tremble.
“take me so good baby, s’like you were made for me.”
“i am.” you respond, because he’s made you honest. in the delirium of him, you’re saying what you’ve had buried inside of you for the past months, waiting for moments like this. with the way he makes you feel it's impossible not to think this way. my god, you’re sure you love him.
with your breathing heavy, recovering from your high, auston groans against your lips––pumping himself into you like a man fueled by pure hunger. the warmth of his cum spilling into you makes you all the more lightheaded.
you grip at the nape of auston’s neck, bringing him in for a kiss. both of your lips already hot pink and puffy. but the need to ground each other is so strong.
the euphoric feeling of relief from your earlier pent up frustration begins to make your body soften. your head felt more vulnerable and you couldn't suppress the words any further. “aus..” you say, kissing his lips before looking him in the eyes. he gives out a small hum in acknowledgment.
“i-i love you. i really do.” your hands squeeze the ends of his hair in anticipation of his response.
did you know that a 6’3, beefy, sassy hockey player can feel butterflies? cause auston is pretty sure he just did. a smile crept up from the corners of his mouth and overtook his entire demeanour. you couldn’t help but reciprocate it.
“yeah?” he asks softly.
you nod, auston’s hands moving to drop your legs and grip your sides instead.
“i love you too, baby.” why wouldn't i? you're too good to be true.
a feeling of bliss overtakes your body. pent up emotions finally all out on the table. its been a lovely set of months now and perhaps you both are ready for that next step.
both of his hands interlock with yours, moving your arms up and over your head. the grip is snug and safe. you can picture holding hands in the cold weather, his palm big and warm enough that you don't need mittens like you used to.
his lips meet yours in a slow gentle kiss. your cheeks blush at the thought of kissing auston straight from the locker room, or his lips leaving a peck on your forehead as you two wait for a table at a restaurant.
the little things.
a whimper leaves your lips, an angelic sound, and an unconscious reaction to auston’s kisses. you can feel auston twitch inside you. so in response, you rock your hips upwards.
“there she is,” he smirks down at you, “there’s my fucking dirty girl.” he notes the dreamy glint in your eye, “you want some more, huh?” you bite your lip, nodding. auston pulls out, just for a moment and your pussy aches at the cruel feeling of emptiness.
kneeling in front of you, aus guides you to turn to your side, straddling one of your legs and grabbing the other one to curl around his side. he aligns himself to your entrance and pushes in without hesitation, already missing the warmth of your wet walls. he continues with his sharp thrusts, one of his hands moving to play with your breasts, rolling your nipples in between his fingers. moans fill the space in the room, and slips of his name fill in the gaps.
the stimulation you feel is so fucking good, for lack of better terms. in contrast to his earlier teases, his thrusts don’t seem to stop anytime soon and you couldn't be any more grateful. your cunt clenching around him so tight that auston hisses, groaning deeply. he shakes his head as if he can’t believe it.
“you’re fucking purring angel, like i didn’t just cum on your pretty pussy. what am i gonna do with you, huh?”
his words make you cry, looking up at him with doe eyes, urging him to bring you to that beautiful edge. “fuck dontstop–so close–so close–” you mumble out quickly. searching for his hand laying on top of your breasts, you tangle your fingers around his again, he squeezes them lovingly. your cheeks fill with a blush tint.
“didn’t plan on it, baby.” he says, making his other hand move to your clit, pressing to rub circles around it, then triangles and then squares and then fucking diamonds. god you didn’t know you just wanted him to keep going and drive you through that burning feeling inside of you.
and so he does, eliciting more sounds from your soft lips along with shivers down your body. he whispers to you how beautiful you are in your ear, while he cums in your sweet cunt once again. you’ll never get over that feeling.
auston grabs you close as he flips the two of you, allowing him to lay down on the pillows, your body sprawled on top of him. his cock still snug in you. you softly hum, this position letting both of you settle down from your shared highs. aus feels your smell calm him, the faint scent of your floral shampoo steadying his breathing, his heartbeat relaxed. he has never felt so safe, so comfortable.
he didn’t want you to move, not even dare to leave this warmth the two of you have created. he's used to getting up after a sexual endeavour like such, two people going their separate ways, hell he's even urgently guided girls out the door. but you? never. if he could keep you here, with him–just him–forever, he would.
you felt auston slowly get soft inside you, and you took that as a queue to take a quick trip to the bathroom to clean yourself up. trying to detach yourself from the soft and gentle embrace of your boyfriend was hard, you didn't want to leave him.
“where are you going?” auston asks, grabbing your waist as you sit up from his chest.
“just the bathroom.” you mention, getting further up and feeling him slip out of you. you let out a small instinctive whimper to the loss. you notice the pout in his eyes, “i’ll only be a minute, don't worry.”
auston was hesitant to let go of your hand, missing the soft feeling contrasted to his rough hands, despite the fact they aren't as calloused as they could be. you smiled at his clinginess, it truly was a compliment. you got up and swiftly made your way to the bathroom mats, as the cold floor sent a quiver up your body. after cleaning yourself up you looked at yourself in the mirror while you washed your hands. you could see the love marks appearing around your breasts, not an uncommon place to find them. aus makes sure to leave new ones each time they start fading.
you make your way back to the bed, seeing auston settled in the sheets. he looks at you with genuinity. a twinkle in his eye. love pouring out of his tender gaze. your skin grows hot. you smile and drop your head to his shoulder once you reach him. “you should see the look on your face”
“what?” he asks curiously.
you look up at him, after wrapping your legs around his own. “you look absolutely smitten.”
he smiles. “good.” he exclaims. proud.
you are quick to get soothed back into his pool of warmth, along with his hand running against your back. here and there reaching the top of your bum, before making its way back up.
you think about your shared confession from earlier. the weight of those immense feelings towering over the two of you gone. all the opportunities and possibilities at your fingertips. “so when do you think i’ll get one of those cute playoff jackets the wives and girlfriends get?”
“you want one?” auston asks, you can hear the smile in his words, if you chose to lift your head you would probably see the smirk too.
“yeah,” you reply, playing with the fingers on his other hand. “i want to be at every game.”
“i’ll make sure you’re the first to get yours then.” you now chose to look up at him, your own happiness radiating across your face. “promise?” you ask, lightly giggling.
“promise.”
“good.”
[ enjoyed reading? join my taglist! : click here <3 ]
#auston matthews#auston matthews fic#auston matthews smut#auston matthews imagine#auston matthews x reader#auston matthews x fem!reader#toronto maple leafs#toronto maple leafs fic#toronto maple leafs smut#toronto maple leafs imagine#toronto maple leafs x reader#nhl fic#nhl writing#nhl imagine#nhl smut#hockey fic#hockey smut#hockey writing#hockey imagine
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Sebastian Sallow Headcanons
Shitty attempt at headcanons for my morally gray, stubborn Sebby boy in Sebastian Sallow Fucking Sucks. It's long for literally no reason besides I don't know how to shut up.
My Seb has gone through it. He suffers - but he also deserves it for that whole "ignorant" outburst days after what happened in the Restricted Section on the night of the Yule Ball. So yeah, he's begging for forgiveness by the end when he realizes how torn he and MC's relationship has become - not without stubbornly trying to get under her skin first.
This idiot constantly wears tight clothes - not because he knows it drives MC insane, though if he noticed, it would get much much worse for her lol- but it's because he's so damn messy he grabs the first clean thing he can find in the morning (slutty little vests, tight sweaters, button downs with stressing buttons - RIP MC).
Reading glasses - enough said.
He's an extremely adept magic wielder. Not only can he cast multiple Unforgivables with shorter cooldowns, but his spells are obscenely strong. MC has not been able to beat him in a duel since that very first time.
That being said, he can't cast a patronus because he's a sad emo boy.
Fav spell: Confringo. Secret fav spell: Imperio.
It's not with the times, but he would definitely listen to metal music. You can't convince me otherwise.
The morally gray/dark wizard line is sooooo veryyyyyy thinnnnnnnn and will get worse.
He doesn't trust aurors and would NEVER BECOME ONE!!!!!!!! Why do ya’ll want him to be a cop so bad??? (Unless he's a dirty cop lol)
Career-wise, he'd be a curse breaker, healer, or a dark wizard 😌
Irrevocably dedicated to the ones he loves, and if he feels its dire enough, he will hurt them to protect them. Trust me on this - for no reason in particular😇
Not opposed to getting on his knees and begging hehehehe...
A skilled healer due to countless hours in the library studying up on a cure for Anne.
Has burned his fingerprints off with too many fire spells. And speaking of his fingers, it's common to spot him with ink staining his skin from all his note taking.
While he's charming and cocky, he sees himself as lesser, dispensable, and directly blames himself for all of his life tragedies.
Anger issues - duh.
Not sure if I'll even get into this in SSFS, but my Seb comes from a family of the Dark Arts - whether he's aware of it or not. We already know Solomon used them. I'd like to think his parents did as well, which is what led to their deaths. The Sallow line is cursed as fuck. Will be exploring this more in a future Dark Seb project where he has to break this curse.
Will make dick jokes. No one is safe.
While he'd make a great beater in Quidditch, his life just doesn't have space for trivial things. He's too busy with murder.
Speaking of body count LOL, he's charmed quite a few witches, but no one has shorted his brain quite like MC. He's intently studied some interesting books in the Restricted Section fantasizing testing out some things.
Idk when his birthday is lol. I'm just agreeing with everyone else.
Seb's relationship with Ominis is interesting....I'll be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if their friendship is going to survive in my world. Seb crosses too many lines. Obliviating your best friend really drives a wedge between you.
THE manipulator. We don't get to see too much of this in SSFS because we're in MC's pov. Particularly because he uses his wiles differently on her. But one of my favorite examples is even as he's mocking her for her poor attempt at lying in the broom closet, he's actively making her anxious (and hot and bothered lol) with that little thread on her sweater. And eventually she slips up. He's such a mother fucker lol.
Okay this post is way too long. I'm gonna leave now lol. BYEEEEE.
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy sebastian#hogwarts legacy headcanon#sebastian sallow headcanon#hogwarts legacy fanfic#I'm more than aware most of these are common lol#I'm doing my best ok I'm lazy and don't like developing things lol
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Chai went utterly still as he confessed that he was happy to be with P'Dan, in work settings and non-work settings, hoping that he wasn't overstepping his boundaries. When he saw the small smile appear on Dan's face though, he relaxed considerably - as long as P'Dan wasn't mad at him or disgusted with him or trying to push him away again, he'd be fine. And seeing his boss smile at him had the young assistant's heart beating even faster, because Dan was so handsome when he smiled. It was such a rare sight to see too, since his boss usually wore a stern or nondescript expression.
Dan reached out to brush Chai's cheek with his hand, after Chai had indicated he was comfortable with P'Dan touching him. Then, Dan's hand slowly fell to where Chai was resting his own, touching each one of his fingers.
"Is this okay?"
Chai nodded, feeling warm all over. Dan asking him, making sure - it was so considerate. Something Chai didn't have in his past relationship. P'Korn just did what he wanted, whenever he wanted, leaving Chai with a sense of dread whenever the man tried to reach for him. But Dan asking permission was just another reminder at how different his boss was to the other kinds of men that attempted to touch Chai, filling him with nothing but respect towards the man.
He allowed Dan to explore his hand, touching the palm and the veins and his fingers, before his boss spoke again.
"Thank you, for giving me a chance to prove myself. I - wanted you to know I care about you and although you said you do have feelings for me, too, I'd - I'd like to give you time. To think about things. To make sure how you feel. I'm not going to rush you and I want you to take your time. Until you're ready to give me your answer. Whatever it maybe in the end. I'd be very happy to stay friends. I hope you'll let me help you once in a while and if you need advice or anything at all, just know you can talk to me."
Chai stared up at Dan in wonder, his eyes wide and shining with hope as a small smile stretched across his face. Everything that Dan was saying was warming Chai's heart. Giving him time to let him think, not rushing him, reminding him that he cared - even saying he'd be happy if they remained friends. He was approaching Chai like a proper Phi, another person who Chai felt like he could trust and rely on, allowing him the space and time to think about what he wanted without having a fear of Dan being angry or mad at him.
"I'd like that Phi," Chai said, squeezing Dan's hands. "I like that a lot. I want to try that with you." The younger assistant glanced down at their connected hands, noticing how Dan's grip was firm enough so that they wouldn't be released, but not rough or forceful, his actions matching his words well. "I hope you know you can talk to me too, about anything Phi."
As Chai finished his sentence, he felt his throat tighten and soon a light yawn escaped him. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment, and when he opened them again they were a little droopy. He had slept for a few hours, but it hadn't been enough and he was still tired.
"Are you sleepy? You should probably go back to sleep. I - should probably move back to my bed, huh?"
Chai nodded at Dan's question. "Yeah, Phi. We should sleep. You sound a lot better but you're still recovering, and rest will be good for you. Stay here, in my bed. I'll move over to yours. Or..." Chai grew quiet, gazing down again at how Dan's hands were clasping his. They had been sleeping on the same bed before, and it had been fine. Chai slept in the same bed as his friend P'War, and it was fine. Neither of them really had to move.
"Let's just both sleep here?" Chai suggested shyly. He truly meant 'sleep', and figured that with how considerate Dan was being the other would understand that it wasn't some kind of code for anything else. Chai already felt comfortable with P'Dan after their conversation, and he knew that Dan wouldn't do anything that would go back on his word. "Lie down Phi. I'll sleep next to you."
Chai lowered himself from his seated position into one where he was lying down, careful not to do anything to separate his hand from Dan's. The mattress was soft and the blanket he slipped into was still warm, making it the perfect condition for him to sleep. His droopy eyes slipped close as he huddled next to Dan, glad to have a body beside him - he had gotten used to it since War moved in, and he found it much easier to sleep when he wasn't alone. "Goodnight Phi." Chai whispered to the other in the darkness, drifting off into dreamland with a smile on his face and with P'Dan's hand holding onto his.
END
Chai's nervousness was growing, becoming apparent with every passing second after his confession to Dan. He was waiting for the other to shut him down, or re-establish their boundaries as boss and assistant, or even tell him they needed to suppress their feelings for one another because it was an inappropriate situation. Chai didn't know what he was scared of more - putting his heart on the line again, or being outright rejected.
Or maybe, he was scared of something else. Chai's second job was nothing like what he did for Dan - but he needed to be there, otherwise khun Debt Collector... he'd just keep adding more to the money Chai owed. Chai had promised to work for the man until his debt was cleared, and his job involved being touched and enjoyed by men - if Dan found out... Chai was sure he'd feel disgusted with him. And so Chai was hesitating, wanting this development with Dan to happen, but finding himself held back for a multitude of reasons. His past abuse with P'Korn, his current boss-assistant relationship with the man he liked, and his predicament of being employed at The Playroom.
"Nong. Can - I touch you?"
Dan's hand reached out, pausing mid-air before making contact with Chai's skin. The young assistant nodded his consent, no longer afraid of Dan's touch, having become familiar with the feeling of closeness with him these past couple of days.
"Look at me…"
Chai's eyes drifted up to Dan's, the younger man still tentative as to the status of their relationship at the moment as he waited for his boss to continue talking.
"Please, don't say things just because… Just because you feel you have to. I - told you I like you because I want to be honest with you. I'm not expecting you to reciprocate… I want you to be true to what you feel… I want you to be genuine… I want you to be happy… And not worried. Or scared. I - never want you to be scared of me ever again…"
Chai felt his heart soften at those words. They were so tender, and genuine, and kind - words that Chai hadn't heard from anyone he was interested in. His friends of course were amazing - P'Rachi and P'War and P'Aisoon, they all showed their love and support for Chai in various ways, and he adored and loved each and every one of them in return - but romantically, it was a different story. P'Korn hadn't even told Chai such things - about wanting him to be happy, about wanting him not to worry, or be scared. Hearing Dan say specifically that he didn't want Chai to ever be scared of him again was how the younger man knew the other wasn't trying to play with him like P'Korn had. Dan was... he was nothing like Chai's ex. He was the total opposite.
"I want to be honest too P'Dan," Chai said. "That's why I told you everything, about how I'm feeling. And I'm not scared of you anymore. I was happy to work with you these past few days - b-but I'm also really happy to just be with you, Phi. And not just for work." Chai told him, leaning closer. "You wanted to touch me, Phi?" He asked softly. "You can. You can touch me."
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You know when you're so tired you're like shaking and freezing...
Anyway it's deadline day and I haven't slept in like? 16hrs wish me luck
#essie rambles#mentally.....#I've ascended#not sure if that's how I'll feel in a few hours...#i will most likely be awake to find out anyhow
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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Wow- this thing wiped me out for a good solid 36 hours.
Good News though, I'm back at about 75-80%? I'm very sore and my head is very foggy, but I actually have the energy to write more than a few sentences. I literally slept almost all of yesterday and I probably should've eaten something solid at some point last night, but I was just too tired? (I have eaten a little though. I know some melted ice cream shouldn't count but it was the only thing we had that sounded good- so)
Not sure how much I'll have in me today, but I can at least string a full paragraph together without feeling like I'm running a marathon. (I wanted to do a bigger update at around 4pm yesterday but just didn't have the energy.)
Everyone who's sent me well wishes, thank you. 🙏 I really didn't have it in me to respond much, but really. Thank you. It means a lot.
I hate when a safe food from a place I like makes me sick? Hated waking up from a nap to just... the sourest stomach possible.
I don't deal with this type of indigestion often
#my back hurts from lieing down for so long#im not sure if this headache is food or hydration related either#gonna try to get just a few more hours (bc im still pretty tired? i can just actually make a sentence now)
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just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#as much as i love him he's not always the most useful. that fight is one of those times-#still always keep him in the party though. perfect p4 team to me is yosuke teddie and naoto#i haven't gotten to naoto joining the party yet but i love her. trans icon. vibing naoto is the best thing to happen to the persona 4 fandom#and yosuke and teddie are my favorites of the investigation team thus far. the others are all very close but they're above the others#dunno why i like yosuke so much. souyo is def part of it#and teddie is very very silly. idk why people hate him so much like yea he can be kinda annoying but he's only existed for a few months#he doesn't understand social cues yet. he's just autistic leave him alone vhgbhmfhdf- /hj#i feel like a lot of persona characters have autism vibes but that's probably at least partially just me projecting#at the very least i'm sure we can all agree that aigis and marie do. autism arcana#that's. probably why they're my favorite girls ggyfubhngd-#aigis is easily my favorite persona character. she's cute and also silly :3 and bisexual i love the bisexual toaster and her doors <3#(aikoto + hamugis polycule for the win. makoto and kotone aren't dating obv. ryoji's also dating both of them separately#)#and marie is cute and also silly i'm totally dating her. love how persona technically lets you polyamory so long as you don't date everyone#i have to max her social link for the golden-exclusive content anyway so might as well#‚‚‚ this post got derailed. i like the part where i talked about my beloved persona 3 bisexual polycule#p4's def the best persona game i think but i love p3 very much too. makoto kotone aigis and ryoji are unsurprisingly my faves#really love yukari too. i spent several hours trying to figure out how to add mods to p3p so i could date her as kotone#it was not successful. i'll probably get it on steam when i inevitably play it gghdhchvhv-#and i'll get reload at somepoint too. probably on steam at least first so i can use the kotone mod i need my girlie#makoto is also great i love him. emo non-binary icon. but also silly girlboss. they're both so mentally unwell#that reminds me of a drawing i have in my drafts i should post that#oh also it's aikoto week apparently??? which is very poggers. idk the prompts but i need to draw my sillies regardless#i do slightly prefer hamugis but they're both very very cute to me. the toaster has two hands she can kiss both the doors-#idk why that joke's so funny to me. i should stop now-
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#it's quite a while that i do a really long rant here#but i really need to get all the shit out from my mind and clear everything inside my brain#and yeah it's actually related with yesterday's race actually#i mean we all always saying that never let sports ruin or dictate our own emotions and other phrases that related with this#but in a serious matter it really really exhausted my mind and honestly yesterday is the peak of it#and the fact is before the race start i was feeling so happy that srg wins mpl malaysia for 2nd time#and i say to myself that whatever happens during the race i should be happy that my fav esports team wins another title this year#but yeah....the race happens and it all just chaos...i mean not that usual chaos but i feel it's even worse#especially after the race#like seriously i should have stay away from any social medias for a while today#because i know how awful the vibes and environment there (and here as well tbh)#but yeah 🥲🥲🥲#like i really expecting that f1 is the only sports out of other sports that i'm getting into with#that i really feel mentally drained and doesn't makes me feel any joy by enjoying it at some point#but yesterday...that's the peak of it#i'm just getting more and more tired of the whole thing happens in f1#and the real life 'job' (more like uni life) doesn't even help me brighten up my mood either#where during app development my group is having a really though situation to going back from the start#in which we had some conflicting on some of the solutions are as same as other one group#and forreal all my groupmates were just fed up thinking about how to came up with new ideas#so yeah it's just this past few hours are just mentally emotionally physically drained out#like i really need to take a break for a while but idk i'm sure#i'll starting to get more and more tasks and assignment for the next few days *sigh*#nahhhhhh i know it's really long rant but i just want to be in a good headspace rn
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uploading all the videos i took during my time on tour with scott onto a flashdrive and there's 190 items selected omg,,,,
#to be fair some of them are like 10 seconds of b-roll but other ones are 45 minutes to an hour so idk exactly what the total time is#and not all of these are specifically from the tour a few of them are other vids that could be used in the doc#but i'd guess the vast majority are the tour#current mood is that meme where someone asks to see the person's phone and they're like ''sure just a sec''#and then it's a screenshot of deleting 50+ screenshots of the same fictional character or celebrity#except all of the scott images/vids on my phone are somehow for WORK and i can't delete them i'm duplicating them onto a flashdrive#so even if i do need to free up space i will have the video of scott teasing me at my first gay bar FOREVER#anyone wanna watch through the several hours worth of footage with me as i try to figure out how i'm gonna edit this into a 10 min sample#as the final for my independent study credit lmao#(rhetorical but also maybe at some point i'll be sharing some of this behind the scenes footage even if it doesn't make the doc)#that tour was such a wild experience i miss it so much lmao#feeling nostalgic for sitting on the floor of a nyc train station with scott and casually chatting about being undiagnosed manic-depressive#literally the best vibes i wish i was sitting on the floor of a train station with scott rn
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Today I was able to stand for a new limit of 50 minutes when my physical symptoms are at their most minimal in a controlled environment. So we know 50 is the max now we're trying to reach 1 hour. I feel like I could've reached an hour with how I was feeling but the muscle endurance in my legs wouldn't have let me. I'm reaching a weird stage in my progress where its been so long since my body has had to support my weight for that long the blood pooling in my soles irritates and hurts like hell the days afterwards so now i'm rubbing the my feet like i've worked a hard day to prevent the inflammation from impeding my progress. I feel tho if I can reach that 1 hour limit I can reach longer times with practice. Its been years since i've stood for so long i'm really excited to keep practicing and hopefully keep improving. Last year around this time I was barely reaching 35 maybe 40 if I really really pushed- during my least symptomatic hours. Those extra 10 minutes might not mean much but since the beginning of my illness I never imagined i'd be able to make it to 30 let alone 50. I felt pretty good this session too which is the most important part, I feel like its the lack of muscular stamina that held me back rather than cardiac endurance. Anyway update is over, if I reach that 1 hour time it'll be a happy day I cannot tell how long it'll take me to reach that time but with some more practice I think a few weeks or months at least i'd imagine maybe even sooner. I'm so happy lets go! Dreams do come true at least 4 me ehehe!
#pots#dysautonomia#progress#the best thing about longer uptime means more endurance - the longer i'm able to stay up the more my legs should begin to adapt#if I can push the amount of time when i'm not as symptomatic maybe it'll help increase my endurance when i'm most symptomatic#when i'm at my most symptomatic I cannot stand for the life of me more than a minute#i will collapse#but increasing my minimal symptomatic time to higher numbers means I feel less physical pain and exhaustion when I am at my most#symptomatic which is honestly all i want#if I can withstand the exhaustion of when i'm most physically ill for more than a minute or two at a time then I can endure it#when i'm compeltely still and laying down which is rlly hard and it hurts like hell and i'm exhausted when it happens#theres nothing in this world like trying to catch your breath while your body is writhing in pain and youre trying not to pass out#i'm just glad on a good day and lots of monitoring i can manage a few hours without any of those#when it was happening once an hour for like hours at a time for months i was in literal hell#the scariest bit is i'm forgetting how it felt to be like normal-ish#like there were days where the most I worried about was like regular stuff like homework#now i'm worried about things like making sure i have a glass of water with me or else i'll die#which sounds absurd but its now my reality its strange how that just becomes real#ive been typing for so long but i don't feel fatigued it really shows how far ive gotten these last few years#last time i wrote this much on a tumblr text post about my illness i was trying to catch my breath the entire time#im kinda happy#ehehe!
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