#not sure if that's how I'll feel in a few hours...
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𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 @multipleoccupancy
"You arrested Dr. Heartland," she reminded him gently, "and you closed down the ward." It was already quite the feat in her eyes. "You kept your promise." Violet could feel that her dad was still shaking, that his breath would not steady, and she felt so terribly powerless. She didn't know what to say or what to do to help. Maybe there was nothing she could do.
But she was happy to hear that she had helped him at the ward, even if she couldn't help him now. She managed another little smile. She knew that she could not even begin to imagine how he was feeling, the weight of all these memories coming back at once. Seven months of bad memories. Guilt kept gnawing at her, like white noise in the background.
Violet nodded, she was not too worried about the bruises. Her mom seemed to believe the sleepwalking excuse, even if it caused her a lot of worries too. "Are you sure? I can go and get it." Maybe he shouldn't be standing up, let alone walking to the kitchen, in his state! What if he fell again?
The truth was that Violet was very tired still. Her eyelids were heavy, and her body was begging for a few more hours of sleep. But she was worried about her dad. Maybe he wants to be alone, she thought to herself, studying him in silence as if trying to decipher his expression. "I don't think I'll be traveling again," she replied cautiously, "I... I might sleep, if you're feeling better."
He held her tighter as she did to him, keeping her wrapped in the blanket with him in the meantime and trying to steady himself in what ways he could think of. His breathing was all over the place, he could still feel himself shaking and that he needed to let it all hit him properly but it just wasn't the right time. "The orderlies were something else," he mused in a shaky voice, "I couldn't arrest them," something he had always regretted but at least Heartland had wound up behind bars.
Violet was not sorry she had wound up there? In a way he could understand, she was just happy to have been help to him, which she had indeed been. He held back another sob and his breath hitched again. It was a very difficult thing to process for him, but he could remember her now, her face, her words and their very reckless plans and decisions. "You were a big help," he said again, even if it had ended up being so much trouble too. Hearing the words that she had been there with him was both a comfort and a terrible upset he couldn't quite put into straight thoughts or words. He wasn't glad she was there but his teenage self certainly had been.
"It's ok, we can work it out for the bruises." He said lightly, not really with the capacity to come up with an excuse for them in sleepwalking in the moment. He did however focus on her pain and that the painkillers were wearing off. "I'll go and get you some more. There's no point in you being in pain when we can prevent it." Though he was nervous about leaving the room and what thoughts might take hold, he was fairly sure he could stay on track to help Violet. Hopefully. "You can have some and if you're feeling sleepy maybe you can go to bed if you think you're not traveling again tonight." He suggested, knowing he could not keep it together until morning and trying to gently make room for himself to crack without worrying or upsetting Violet.
#&(killian beneventi)#violet (there's no happy endings)#multipleoccupancy#delta green verse#read at your own discretion
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Paddock Bunny Series - 1
AN - Yay! I'm so happy for the first post to my new series! I hope you like it and if you have any ideas of what you want to see happen in the world of Y/N Brown feel free to message me with your ideas! I have nothing planned for this series and no real end goal so this could be 10 chapters long to 100 chapters long just depends on how much you guys like it!
Happy Birthday to Lando!!
Drivers included:
Lando Norris x Reader
Carlos Sainz x Lando Norris x Reader (not every chapter will have a threesome but it was necessary for the plot!)
TW - Squirting, multiple orgasms, oral (M and F receiving/giving), hickey, back scratches, protected sex, MxM (not all threesomes with have MxM), cum swallowing, cum swapping
WC - 4.1k +
Y/N POV
"Please let me take you home tonight," Lando slurs in my ear for a third time tonight.
"Lando, you're too drunk to sleep with your bosses daughter," I reply back softly making him groan.
"Please, just one night and we never have to talk about it again," Lando says making me laugh and shake my head.
"If you get your maiden win within the first 10 races of the season I'll let you take me home for a night," I reply back making Lando's face light up at the thought.
"Deal!" Lando smile and runs off making me laugh softly and shake my head knowing he would forget about it by morning.
Lando and I have known each other since his rookie season in Formula 1 and have been close friends since than. It was no secret that Lando and I both had some kind of tension between us but neither of us trying anything knowing how much of a grey area it is.
That was back in February before the season had even started and now it's just a few hours after Miami and Lando is texting me the room number to his hotel room.
"478, it't the suite on the left corner"
"I thought you would have forgotten about that night"
"I'd never forget the one chance to finally sleep with you"
I just roll my eyes at the short conversation before gathering my belongings and making my way to the driver who would be taking me back to the hotel all Mclaren employees were staying in.
When I walked through the Miami hotel I quickly make my way up to Lando's room following the directions he had sent me.,
"Hi," Lando says opening the door after I had just knocked.
"Hi," I smile back inviting myself in. I spent the first couple minutes in Lando's hotel just looking at him to nervous to make the first move.
"Do you want this?" Lando asks softly making me look up and nod softly.
"Ya, a deal is a deal," I reply softly making Lando's smile drop slightly before taking a few tentative steps towards me.
"No, that's not how consent works. Do you want to do it?" Lando asks stepping even closer so we were now face to face with each other.
Instead of responding I connect my hands behind his neck and pull him down for a kiss. Once the initial shock wears off Lando melts into the kiss wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer into his chest.
"Fuck, Lan," I moan softly when Lando squeezing my ass with his hands.
Lando's lips start trailing from my lips down to my neck where he spends special attention on my neck looking for my sweet spot and once he locates is just under my ear I let out a soft moan making Lando smirk before sinking his teeth down and sucking softly I'm sure leaving a small mark behind.
I feel Lando's arms wrap around my waist tighter before softly mumbling jump. Once I just softly I wrap my arms around his waist and letting him walk us towards the bedroom.
Once we get into the bedroom he lightly drops me down onto the bed before he slowly pulls his shirt from his body before letting it fall to the ground.
Once Lando's upper half was bare he slowly climbed into the bed and over my body letting himself gently sit on my thighs while he stares down at me before slowly pulling my shirt up my torso and helping me sit up softly so he can pull it off completely.
Once he discards the Mclaren team kit on the ground he get his first glimpse of my bare tits.
"Fuck," Lando whispers softly still staring right at my tits before he takes a tit in each hand and gives it a firm squeeze making me moan softly at the feeling.
"Sound so pretty," Lando whispers out more to himself than me but it didn't matter my cheeks reddened at the praise regardless.
"Lan, please," I whine softly trying to grind my hips up making me smirk before pushing my hips back down towards the bed denying me of the little stimulation I was getting.
"Patience, I've waited years for my chance, you can wait another few minutes to feel my tongue," Lando replies back making me whine at his words while trying to clench my thighs together but being stopped by Lando's sturdy body blocking them from closing fully.
"God, you are even more beautiful that I could have dreamed," Lando groans while softly rubbing his fingers up my sides making me whine softly and goosebumps to grow across my skin.
Once Lando had felt like he teased enough he slowly started pulling my black Mclaren issued skirt off before discarding it somewhere on the floor before running a teasing finger over the center of my thong making me suck in a breath at the feeling of his finger light touch running across my overly sensitive clit.
"Fuck, you're already soaked for me," Lando says with a soft smirk before roughly ripping my thong from my body making me gasp out loudly at the sting of the fabric tearing against my skin.
It was clear in the moment that any patience left in Lando has completely ran out and now the starved man in front of me was ready to have his first warm meal in over a year.
When the first flick of Lando's tongue was sent right over my clit I can't help but moan out and arch my back at the feeling.
"Fuck," I moan softly when I feel Lando's tongue flick over my clit again making me whimper.
"SO fucking responsive," Lando groans out before diving back into my soaked pussy.
"Oh Lando," I moan when I feel Lando start sucking my clit into his mouth. My hands were now tangled in Lando's hair gripping and pulling him impossibly closer.
"So sweet," Lando mumbles into my pussy making me whimper at the vibrations being sent straight to my clit.
I knew with how long it had been with the last time I had slept with someone and how good Lando was abusing my clit I knew I wasn't gonna last long.
"Fuck," I scream out softly when I feel two of Lando's long fingers slip into my soaked pussy filling me up and grazing my G-spot was perfect precision.
"I can tell you're already close," Lando says with a smirk spread across his face while he starts finger fucking me making me moan and arch my back off the bed again which has Lando using his hand to push me back into the bed before attaching his mouth to my clit and sucking.
"I'm gonna cum," I announce loudly while gripping tighter into Lando's now messy curls.
No sooner than the words leaving my mouth Lando instantly speeds up the actions with his fingers and sucking even harder on my clit almost instantly throwing me over the edge into a loudly messy orgasm that left me shaking under Lando.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant when I have no time to come down from the overwhelming pleasure because Lando and still fingering me with lighting speed.
"Oh shit," I moan when I feel a second orgasm approaching before the tightly wound band in my tummy snapped throwing me over the edge into a squirting orgasm.
"Fuck," Lando gasps amazed at the pleasure he just had coursing through my body.
"Holy fuck," I gasp when I look down and realize the mess I had caused but with the smug look on Lando's face the mess is the last thing on his mind right now.
Lando slowly climbs out of the bed and quickly takes off his pants and briefs in one go letting his hard length spring free. My eyes are instantly locked on the red angry tip that was already leaking precum.
"I want a taste," I announce timidly while letting my eyes flicker up to lock eyes with Lando where he's staring at me with a smirk spread across his face.
"I'm serious," I say while climbing out of bed and getting on my knees and instantly gripping onto Lando's cock making him hiss at the sensations.
I slowly bring my mouth to the tip of Lando's cock where I lick a strip collecting a bit of the precum from his cock and let the flavors linger on my tongue before I take his tip into my mouth and start sinking down taking more of his cock as I go.
"Fuck," Lando groans letting his hands tangle into my brunette hair.
I can't help but moan at the feeling of Lando's cock fill my mouth more than any man has ever.
Once my nose brushes against the trimmed patch of hair covering Lando's pelvic bone I can't help but look up to find Lando with his head thrown back and his eyes closed. When I slowly start bobbing my head with still looking up at Lando I notice the way his face pinches up at the pleasure before he moans softly and looks down locking eyes with me.
"Fuck, you're a sight to be been," Lando groans using the hands tangled in my hair to bob me up and down his cock faster.
"Fuck, I'm not gonna last long," Lando groans at the admission but it only makes me speed up my action on his cock. I bring my hand up to his balls and start playing with them which has Lando groaning and pushing me all the way down on his cock before he lets out a low groan before cumming deep into my throat making me gag slightly but still swallow what I can.
"Fuck," Lando groans slipping his cock from my lips and rubbing the spit and cum mixture across my mouth marking me with his cum, his way of marking his territory.
"You're so hot. Your swollen little lips covered in my cum," Lando leans down close to my face with a smirk on his face before the heat of the moment got the best of him and he takes my mouth in his tasting his own cum on his lips.
With Lando's lips still locked with mine he slowly picks me up off the ground before he gently places me on the bed near the edge where I feel his still hard cock rub against my clit making me moan.
When Lando pulls away still standing at the edge of the bed I go to whine when I see him grab a condom off the night stand making me raise a brow at him.
"It was the first thing I went out and bought when I won," Lando says with a boyish smile on his face clearly embarrassed to admit how excited he was.
"I appreciate the readiness," I tell him softly while I watch him roll the condom down his length before stepping between my spread thighs again and tearing my clit with his cock before slipping his length into my pussy making me whimper at the feeling.
"Fuck, so damn tight," Lando grits out between clenched teeth making me whimper at that the burning feeling of being stretched out on his cock.
"Slower," I whimper when I feel Lando start rocking his hips into mine which has him stopping his movements giving me a few moments to adjust before I nod and feel Lando slowly pull his cock out an inch or so before thrusting back in making both of us moan at the feeling.
"Oh," I moan softly when I feel Lando's thrusts start to pick up making my nails dig in a bit deeper into his shoulders making him hiss at the feeling.
"Lan, it feels so good," I moan when I feel Lando's thrust turn from fast and shallow to hard and deep making me feel him in a whole new way. I can feel my nails digging into his back, probably leaving marks behind but with the way Lando only speeds up the harder I grip him I don't think he has any complaints.
"Fuck, you feel so good," Lando grunts out clearly getting close to the edge.
"I'm gonna cum," I announce suddenly when I feel Lando's cock drill right into me G-spot over and over again.
"Fuck, cum with me," Lando grunts his hips shuddering a bit before I feel him start to cum into the condom sending me over the edge into another shaking orgasm.
"Fuck," Lando grunts coming down from his orgasm as he slowly slips his cock from my overstimulated pussy making me whimper at the stimulation.
"Fuck, you took me so well," Lando tells me softly helping me sit up before handing me a water bottle and letting me take a few sips before he takes a few sips himself.
"You're not weirded out to drink from the same straw as me," I ask softly making Lando laugh lightly.
"I tasted my cum from your lips, we're past sharing water bottles," Lando says softly making a me laugh with him and nod my head understanding.
For the next 30 minutes Lando and I spent it in the shower while he told me how good I did for him making me blush under the praise.
When we get out of the bathroom and I wince when I catch sight of Lando's back.
"I'm sorry," I say softly while running a light finger over one of the darker scratches.
"I would live the rest of my life with them if it meant I got to fuck you everyday," Lando says while looking at the damage in the mirror with a shrug.
"You want to do it again?" I ask shyly not even thinking about the possibility of doing it again.
"I mean, yeah. It was honestly the best sex I've ever had but if this was a one off for you, I'm more than okay with that," Lando tells me honestly making me smile and nod.
"I'd like to do it again," I tell him softly with a nod making him smile.
It's only a few days later when I get another Facetime from Lando. When I answer I come face to face with a smirking Carlos and a sheepish looking Lando staring back at me. Both boys where clearly shirtless on a yacht but from the looks of it they were still docked.
"You attacked my boy?" Carlos asks with a smirk falling from his lips making me jaw drop slightly at a total loss for words.
"I have no idea what you're on about Sainz," I respond back with a blush creeping up onto my cheeks.
"No? This should remind you," Carlos says while flipping the camera and showing me Lando's back that was still scattered with a few lingering marks.
"Okay, so Lando and I had a bit of fun. What about it?" I ask trying to be nonchalant. It had never been a secret that when Carlos joined Mclaren with Lando I had a crush on him so having a conversation like this year later it a bit bone rattling.
"I just wish I had gotten an invite," Carlos says while flipping the camera back to face a red faced Lando and a smug looking Carlos. I know my cheeks are as red as Lando's if not redder.
"What?!" Is the only word out of my mouth clearly still too stunned to speak.
"Oh cut the crap, Brown! It was no secret that you fancied me back in my Mclaren days. If you're in Monaco come to the dock," Carlos says with a smirk making me gawk at the two for a few seconds before I hang up the phone and get changed into a swimsuit.
I shoot Lando a quick text letting him know I would be there in a few minutes. I guess you could say curiosity killed the cat but if a long time crush was offering me a day on his yacht I wasn't gonna pass it up.
When I get to the dock I find Lando sitting at the nose of the boat with a sour look spread across him face while looking at his phone while Carlos is smirking with his arms crossed watching me approach him.
"We have company," Carlos announcing making Lando look up from his phone letting his sour look deepen.
"Before I step foot on this yacht. I need to know what is about to happen and if both of you guys are consenting," I saw while looking directly at Lando.
"There's zero pressure on what we do today. But both of us understand what could happen and we're on the same page, Lando's just but hurt he couldn't keep you to himself," Carlos says making me raise a brow at him.
"No Carlos, I'm annoyed at you because you haven't shut up for the past 15 minutes about what happened between me and her," Lando announces with a bit of a whiney voice making me laugh softly.
When I set onto the yacht I look around to make sure we were alone before I walk to Lando and stand between his legs and lean down and press a soft kiss to his lips.
"Do you want whatever could happen to happen?" I whisper making sure he knew it was just a conversation between us.
"Yes," Lando finally answers looking up at me through his long lashes.
“I’m positive, it wouldn't be the first time Carlos and I shared someone,” Lando admits softly making me look up at Carlos with a surprised face. He just sends me back one of his signature smirks making me roll my eyes jokingly before stepping away from Lando and placing my stuff where it belonged before pulling off my swimsuit cover and making me way to find Carlos is alright driving the boat away from the dock while Lando rests back allowing his tanned skin to soak up even more sunlight.
I climb onto the sofa next to Lando allowing my head to rest on his shoulder.
"We aren't doing a single thing you don't consent to, and Carlos is big on verbal consent," Lando tells me softly angling his head so he can look me in the eye.
"Okay," I reply softly with a small smile playing on my lips.
Once Carlos has gotten us far away from the shore I realize we are completely alone in a cove with not a single person around us.
When Carlos approaches both Lando and I he leans down and places a quick kiss on Lando's mouth making me gawk at them softly before Carlos turns his attention on me.
"Can I kiss you, Hermosa?" Carlos asks softly making a me nod my head but quickly give a soft yes remembering what Lando had just been telling me.
As soon as the word left my mouth Carlos crashes his lips onto mine and our kiss was the complete opposite of the one him and Lando shared. While his and Lando's was quick and a bit lack luster Carlos and I's is heated and intense.
When I feel Carlos softly graze his tongue against my bottom lip I part my mouth and feel Carlos's tongue tangle with mine making me whimper at the feeling.
"Fuck, such a sweet little mouth. Lando has told me your head game is the best, would you like to prove him right?" Carlos asks softly.
"Yes sir," I reply back softly while pushing Carlos to sit next to me making me turn my body towards him on my hands and knees with my ass facing Lando making him groan at the sight of my swimsuit riding up my ass.
I pull Carlos's swim trunks just enough to free his hard cock before bringing my mouth down to his cock and pulling it into my mouth making him hiss at the feeling of me taking his full length into my mouth.
"Fuck," Carlos groans throwing his head back when I feel the tip of his cock bypass my gag reflex taking him all the way.
I start bobbing my head on his cock making Carlos tangle his fingers into my hair while Lando pulls my swim bottoms to the side where he started teasing my clit making me moan around Carlos's cock.
Once Lando felt I was wet enough he grips into my hair pulling me off Carlos's cock making me whine at the loss. Once Lando gets me situated on my hands and knees but this time facing Lando I realize all the prep he had done wasn't for him but was for Carlos.
Lando pulls his shorts off letting me take his cock into my mouth while I feel the tip of Carlos's cock teasing my clit making me pull off Lando's cock and trying to turn my head.
"He's wearing protection," Lando tells me softly making me nod my head and get back to work with Lando's cock. When I feel Carlos slowly sinking his thick cock into my tight pussy I whimper at the stretch. I can tell he's wearing a condom making me smile softly to myself knowing Lando was telling me the truth.
I knew I wasn't gonna last long but when I feel my orgasm build almost instantly I start freaking out slightly trying to pull my hips away from Carlos.
"Am I hurting you," Carlos asks letting my hips go letting me get away slightly.
"No! I was about to cum," I admit sheepishly making Carlos groans and sink his cock back into me in one quick motion before pounding into me and throwing me over the edge almost instantly.
"I don't care if you cum in 3 seconds or 3 hours, I want you to let go," Carlos groans fucking me through my orgasm before slowing down almost completely letting me come down from my orgasm without over stimulating me but once I got a few minutes of rest Carlos gets right back to it making me moan around Lando's cock making him whimper and pull me off his cock not wanting to cum just yet.
"Fuck, Carlos," I moan rather loudly letting my voice echo across the water coming out far louder than I was hoping.
"So fucking tight," Carlos groans clearly getting close to the edge making Lando shove his cock back into my mouth. I could feel another orgasm building deep in the pit of my stomach and once I finally release I feel Carlos shove deep into me one last time before filling the condom up with his cock. I feel Lando shudder one last time before a loud whine leaves his mouth and he starts cumming filling my mouth with his cum.
"Don't swallow," Carlos groans while slowly slipping his cock from my pussy making a me turn my head slightly and open my mouth showing him my mouth full of cum.
"Swallow some of it and spit the rest into his mouth," Lando says out of breath behind me making me look at Carlos who has a smirk on his face and he nods giving me permission. I swallow half of Lando's load before standing up and pulling Carlos into my mouth and pushing the rest of the cum in his mouth where he quickly swallows it and pulls me in for a quick makeout before pulling back and grabbing his discarded swim trunks.
Lando helps me get dressed before pulling me back into his chest and letting me cuddle up with him.
"Who else have you told?" I finally ask in a hushed whisper while Carlos starts moving the yacht to another location.
"No one I swear! But I'm sure Carlos will tell Charles, who will tell Pierre, who will tell Yuki, who will tell everyone," Lando admits sheepishly making my face grow hot and a groan to leave my lips.
"Great so I'm about to become the paddock whore," I saw with a cringed look across my face.
"No, I'm positive if anything they'll just want a taste," Lando tells me softly making me groan and throw my head back.
"That might even be worse," I groan again making Lando laugh softly.
"You do what you want. If someone tries anything and you don't want it you tell them to fuck off," Lando says as if this was the most normal situation in the world.
Over the next few weeks the group chat that started with just Lando, Carlos and I had slowly grown in size. While I wasn't sure how word had spread so fast I was positive that my life was not the same one it was at the start of the season.
#Lee-Lee's Paddock Bunny Series#formula 1 fic#formula 1#formula one#male form#formula racing#formula 2#lando norris#mclaren#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#lando norris smut#lando norris imagines#ln4 x y/n#ln4 mcl#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 fluff#ln4 smut#carlando smut#carlando imagines#carlando x you#carlando fanfiction#carlando fic#carlando x reader#carlando au
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thinking about messing with ino! while he’s in the middle of a video game; he has been playing on that stupid game for what feels like hours and even though he’ll ask you every 10 minutes or so, “baby, are you okay?” “princess, do you need anything?” etc etc, you were still annoyed on how his video game had more of his attention than you.
so, when you finally got fed up and bored of lying on his bed scrolling mindlessly on tiktok, pinterest, instagram, and twitter on rotation for what feels like eons, you set your phone down and with a mischievous grin, walked over to him in his gaming chair and got on your knees. “whatcha doin’ pretty baby?” he asked with his eyes still glued to the screen, “oh, nothing… don’t mind me, just go back to playing your game ‘kay?” you looked up at him with a innocent smile. but in your head, you were thinking about how you were going to punish him for giving his attention to a stupid game on a tv than you being right in front of him and in his presence.
you started caressing at the bulge in his grey sweatpants and his breath hitched. ino was trying really hard to lock in and focus on getting his victory royale but he also wanted to just throw his controller across the room & watch you take him. “what’s wrong baby? thought you were too focused on your game? hm?” giving him a playful smile as you pull his length out of his sweatpants, pumping it a few times before pressing a kiss to his swollen tip already oozing with pre. "I- I am baby.." he exhaled as you felt him melt into your touch. you licked along the vein trailing down his cock slowly before enveloping him with your soft lips. he let out a low whine as you slowly take him whole. he didn't realize his character in game was dying over and over from being shot at because it wasn't moving until you stopped to look up at him with doe eyes and glossy lips, "focus.." you purred. "your game isn't going to win itself now is it?" he snapped out of his daze to focus on his game again, "y-yeah, you're right" he stuttered with flushed cheeks. you went back to stroking him again with delicate hands and your pretty mouth.
"f-fuuck mama, you f-feel so good" ino moaning as your head goes up and down him and gently playing with his balls overstimming him as he tries to concentrate on winning his game. teasing him, you trail a few kisses up and down his length as you murmured against him, "I'm sure I do..." still leaving kisses. "too bad you don't give your poor little girlfriend the same amount of attention as your silly little game."
whimpering, he starts to profusely apologize, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby, I'll get off the game and give you all my attention, I p-promise, you're making me feel so good, I-"
you interrupt him. "win this game for me and I'll let you be a good boy and cum down my throat" tapping his tip onto your pink, glossy pout with a pretend thinking face.
his eyes light up like a kid in a candy store and starts spamming all types of buttons on his controller eager to win this game as you continue to bobble down his cock, drool spilling from the sides of your lips and getting so sloppy that you can practically blow bubbles on him.
VICTORY ROYALE!! pops up and takes over the screen of the tv and he starts blabbering as he starts thrusting himself into your mouth, "baby baby baby baby can I- mmph.. can I c-cum please, please can I cum?" he throws the controller to the other side of the room and starts gripping onto the armrests of the game chair until his knuckles started turning white. "c'mon you nerd," you looked at him with lust in your eyes, "give it to me." as you opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out for him to release his load down your throat.
"thankyouthankyouthankyou" he rambled as you milked him for all he had. "learned your lesson? you goof." you laughed.
"yes. yes i did." getting up from the chair and kicking the rest of his sweats off and throwing them to the side to lean down and pick you up princess style and laying you down in the bed.
"now i'm going to make it up to you, your highness" kissing your hand teasingly and sliding your shorts off.
likes + reblogs appreciated <3 please don't steal/copy/modify my works!
#gojoscinnamonroll ᡣ𐭩₊˚.⋆⁺₊#ino takuma smut#ino smut#jjk ino smut#jjk ino#jjk smut#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#ino x reader#takuma ino#ino takuma#ino x you#ino takuma x you#ino takuma x reader#takuma ino smut#takuma ino x reader#takuma ino x you
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bad boy! akiteru fucking reader on top of the hood of keis car
ooooh i am Unwell about this sksksk
words: 631
cw: fem!reader, unprotected sex, public sex, dubious consent, coercion (kinda?), secret relationship, minors dni
if the two of you don't make it home soon, kei is going to wonder where you are.
"aki, aki someone's gonna see," there were so many emotions swirling your brain. the fear of being caught, the guilt from doing this on kei's car, and the pleasure from akiteru taking you in public.
akiteru had only intended on taking his little brother's car to be serviced thinking it would only take a few hours.
but when you decided to tag along, akiteru didn't know how long he could keep his hands off you.
"nobody comes here, baby, it's okay," he purposely drove to a secluded area a few miles off the main road. you had worn a cute outfit today and were yapping your head off about something during the drive—akiteru had to get his cock in you.
as soon as the coast was clear, he pinned you to the hood of the car and flipped your skirt up before pushing your panties to the side. akiteru would love nothing more to shove his tongue inside your cunt but you were already uneasy on the idea of fucking out in the open.
but once his cock was inside you, most of those fears seemed to subside.
you gasped from the painful stretch of akiteru's cock sinking into your warmth. to distract you, he latched onto your breast, wrapping his tongue around your pert nipple.
he can feel you tighten around him, a smug grin growing on his face when he realizes you're about to cum already. "you're so sensitive today, baby. you wanted me to fuck you, huh?" he says in between suckles, making a mess of your chest.
akiteru feels a surge of pride when you nod. "bet you only joined me on this errand hoping you'd get dick. that's all you really care about. go ahead and cum for me, baby, i'll just make you do it again."
any reservations you had about doing this on kei's car, let alone out in public were gone when you had your release, fingers curling into the fabric of akiteru's shirt and wailing into his chest.
he only gives you a few moments to gather your bearings before fucking you again, causing your legs to tremble. "aki—fuck—gimme a sec," you cry, not sure if your cunt could take more.
"no, baby, i need you to cum again and then i'm gonna dump you full of my cum 'til it's spilling out of you, okay?"
you tried to argue, complaining that it was already too much but akiteru shut you up with a hard thrust. "mmm, we don't want to keep kei waiting anymore? he'll get suspicious," akiteru coos, leaning in for a deep kiss. "lemme have my way with you, honey, it'll feel so good."
it's hard to deny akiteru anything when he looks at you with those warm, brown eyes.
"what took so long?" kei groaned as soon and you and his brother walked through the front door, taking the keys from akiteru's grasp.
he doesn't notice you practically leaning on akiteru for support, focusing his attention on his new car. "the mechanic wanted to be thorough," akiteru explains, sneaking a glance at you.
"well thanks for taking it, i guess. i had a lot of studying," kei said with an eyeroll. "why did it take so long to get back?"
he stares at you, eyebrows quirking at your cross legged stance—completely unaware that you were internally begging that akiteru's cum wouldn't run down your leg.
"traffic," you answer too quickly but kei seems to accept it.
as kei leaves to inspect his car, akiteru takes the opportunity to sneak you to his room under the guise of you looking like you "really need to lay down."
©sugawarassoulmate 2024 all rights reserved - please do not repost/translate my work on other platforms!
#haikyuu x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu smut#haikyu smut#akiteru smut#akiteru x reader#akiteru tsukishima#tsukishima akiteru#best friend's brother!akiteru#kei tsukishima#tsukishima kei#🍑#🍑akiteru#haaaa this has been in my drafts for months
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Ok, since you said this is how we play I'll try It, how does Riz react when he learns he's Friends are alive? I guess he feels relive, that means he hasn't got them kill but at the same time why haven't they revivem him?
Yeah baby! Play the game get a prize (the prize is more words)
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
There was something to be said about being dead, Riz certainly didn’t feel himself getting tired anymore beyond the general brain fatigue of reading through records for hours on end. Bytopia almost rivalled the nine hells when it came to bureaucracy but the rogue considered himself an expert after helping Fig claim ownership of the bottomless pit. A little angelic paperwork wasn’t going to stop him even if he felt like he was going a cross-eyed from reading through rulebooks and forms.
Once Pok had shown him to the record room, a vast almost endless plain of bookshelves that stretched to the horizon hidden behind an unassuming door in the fields of Elysium, he’d been called away to deal with a problem for the LPRTF. Riz getting left behind to find the information he needed with only what little guidance his father could give him in the few seconds he had spare before sprinting out of the room.
This was fine. Riz was his party’s research guy. If there was something here to find he would find it that was guaranteed. First and foremost? Making sure his party was okay. It took him a couple of hours to track down everyone’s files, the goblin feeling relieved when he checked and found that each of them was still okay and alive in turn. Each of their records was a detailed account of their entire lives, the pages in the ‘future’ were written but even looking at them made his head spin and he couldn’t make heads or tails of it. He absently wondered if maybe Adaine would be able to see what was written there given she was the oracle, but the better question would be whether she wanted to read it.
He didn’t want to violate his friend’s privacy too badly though, even though he was very tempted to take a quick peek at their childhoods, only quickly checking their status was listed as ‘alive’ on their files before placing them back where he found them. Checking his own records should be fine though right?
Finding his own records was a lot harder, mostly because they were stored separately from those still on the Prime Material, and when he found it it was almost triple the size of his friends. Reams of paperwork regarding his employment with the LPRTF enclosed between the covers of the folder making it much thicker. He carefully started pulling out and reading through the bundles of paperwork, mostly just curious if there was any information that could be gleaned there but his brows ended up knitting together in confusion. The goblin tucking the folder under his arm as he went to find a reference book to double check everything was filed correctly because he had a niggling feeling still that something was off about his current life-status.
-0-0-0-0-0-
Time, when you’re dead, can get a little bit weird. You don’t need to sleep or eat (even though you can if you really want to) so the normal methods Riz tended to use to track the progression of time were completely absent. Because of this it had been nearly five days after entering that he finally stumbled back out of the records room, clutching his own file and a reference book in one hand and a slightly crumpled wad of paperwork in the other, and at least three files with his tail. The goblin looking a mix between completely and totally manic and gleeful as he stumbled over to the nearest agents desk and slammed the paperwork down in front of them.
“I should NOT be dead. Where’s Agent Gukgak?”
“He is, um, out? Some trouble in the Nine Hells.” The gnoll who’s desk he’d slammed the paperwork onto looked surprised, hyena ears flicking as they glanced between the face of the slightly unhinged looking goblin and the paperwork pinned under his hand.
“Oh okay, cool, never mind I’ll just talk to you then. I shouldn’t be dead.”
“You said… but I’m going to assume you’re going to explain why?”
They knew this was Pok’s kid, everyone in the LPRTF knew who he was and when word came in that he’d ascended at only seventeen they’d felt awful for him. Their wonderfully talented part time lower planar consultant suddenly promoted to full-time agent before he was even legally an adult? Incredibly sad, but there was little they could do about it other than help him through the first few stages of realising your ticket had been punched permanently. He looked WELL and truly into the denial phase right now.
“Yes. Okay, look. I found my file and all my employment paperwork and stuff.” Riz juggled his armful of papers, dumping them onto a clear spot on the gnoll agents desk and flipping open the reference book to the pages he’d marked. “You guys had permission to fast track me to ascended soul when I died and lock in my employment. This form.”
“Sure did honey, didn’t want you having to spend weeks in limbo while we processed everything so it was pre-filled for you.”
“Cool, alright, you know what I’m talking about then.” He shuffled through the pages until he found the one he was looking for. “It’s filled in WRONG. You’ve got it listed as ‘on the event of my death’.”
“Yes dear.”
“No you don’t get it. It’s been filed as ‘on the event of my next death’ not ‘permanent death’. They filled in this bit of paperwork wrong. I’m an adventurer we die all the time but our cleric usually brings us back.” He jabbed at the page, juggling another file onto her desk from the stack he was holding with his tail. “This is my friend Kristens file, she’s my party cleric, she tried to resurrect me within fifteen seconds of my dying but you guys had already locked me in to becoming an ascended soul working here. You stopped me from being resurrected with the protections that stop agents being summonable to other planes without prior approval. She totally could have brought me back.”
“That’s not-“ The gnoll agent blinked, pulling the page Riz was jabbing at closer and reaching over to grab the reference book as well. The agent flipping through a few pages before smoothing out the slightly crumpled page Riz had been clutching, their eyes going wide with realisation. “-oh… oh dear. Well… you’re not wrong.”
“So we need to fix it.” Riz reached behind himself to grab the other files he’d been holding in his tail and stack them neatly on the desk, wings relaxing out of their outstretched position to fold comfortably behind his back as he calmed down.
“Well, we can fix it but you’re still dead kiddo. This is a huge fuck up on our part but we can’t just… zap you back into your old body. Literally all it will do is change the wording on this form to be ‘permanent death’… and it’s been nearly seven days since you died.” They dug a pen out of their desk drawer, waving it over the piece of paper and instantly fixing the wording in front of Riz before placing it back in his file still sitting on their desk.
“Yeah but they could still bring me back. Kristen could try Raise Dead that’s got a ten day time limit.” Riz flicked his tail, drumming his fingers on the edge of the desk.
“Not really? You’re already an ascended soul and like you said, they can’t summon you to a lower plane without permission.”
“So? Just get me to a lower plane? Fig is the mistress of the Bottomless Pit they can just resurrect me there.”
The gnoll agent winced, having to look away when the rogue dropped his ears back and gave them the saddest look they’d ever seen. Holding their hand up to block their view of his face when he purposefully dilated his eyes to make them look bigger. “No, stop that. We could try but the process for approving getting an agent to the lower planes can take days.”
There was a blinding flash of light off to their left that made Riz drop the ‘sad goblin’ expression and stand back up straight, ears flicking into an expression of mild confusion as Pok was left behind in the wake of the beam of light. The older goblins hair smoking slightly and smelling heavily of sulphur as he glanced around the field and zero’d in on his son.
“Hey sport. Feeling better? Find what you needed to find?”
“Yeah. Paperwork was wrong. I shouldn’t be dead.”
Pok blinked, glancing at the gnoll agent who just nodded and shrugged in answer to his silent question. “Oh. Alright then. Glad to hear it. You might want to come with me then.”
Riz ruffled his wings and trot over to take Poks hand when it was offered, his father leading him away from the field full of desks until they were barely visible in the distance. The rogue just making a confused noise before reaching out to dust some of the soot off his dads back while they walked.
“Where have you been?”
“Just a few problems on the lower planes, I had them teleport me back here when I realised where the problem was headed.” He laughed, leading Riz up and over a hill that looked down into a different field of Elysium below them. A jagged tear splitting the landscape like someone had ripped a hole in a piece of paper, the bow of an unfamiliar ship jammed through the crack and allowing several demons to spill into Bytopia unimpeded.
All Riz could really do was stand there in shock as several figures clambered their way out of the ship to the ground, one of them stabbing one of the demons that launched themselves off the ship after them and putting them down in one attack. The figure turning to point their sword at the nearest celestial trying to fight back the incursion in order to ask them a question.
“YOU! Where the FUCK is Riz Gukgak?” Fabian slashed at another of the demons as they tumbled off the ship, giving it a swift kick to knock it back through the rift.
“Oh. Wait are my party the problem or are they helping you with a different one?”
“Bit of both.” Pok laughed, ruffling Riz’s hair after letting go of his hand. “The demons were trying to invade anyway they just hitched a ride on their ship to help fight them back… and probably come to fetch you.”
“Well… saves me a trip to the lower planes for a resurrection since I got my paperwork sorted.”
“I was a bit worried we’d have to fight your friends off too if they tried to take you but it looks like you sorted out the nitty gritty on your own… Good job.” Pok held his arms out, grunting a little when Riz threw himself at him for a hug before glancing back down at his friends fighting below.
“I’m going to go help… and hopefully get revived. Thanks dad.”
“No problem Riz. Just… make sure you don’t come visit again for a long while?... at least outside of normal consultant stuff at least.”
-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Fighting back the incursion had been tough without his weapons but at least he still had claws and teeth that he could fight back with. When the last demon fled back through the rift Riz was left exhausted, covered in gore and with a newfound appreciation for his wings which gave him a bit of an edge when it came to getting into a good position to rip out taller creatures throats.
He was only able to bask in the satisfaction of a fight well fought for all of six seconds though, Fabian dropping Fandrangor to the ground as he scooped the goblin up in a hug that could crush ribs. Riz happily throwing his arms around his neck and hugging back with just as much enthusiasm.
“What the fuck Riz, I take a nap for three hours and you go and get yourself killed? Ridiculous.” The half elf huffed, smoothing his hands along Riz’s back and tucking him more securely against his front as he turned to convene with the rest of their party.
“Sorry. It was an accident. Would have been fine if someone hadn’t fucked up my paperwork up here.” Riz purred happily, not caring that he was getting Fabian covered in demon ichor as he was hauled over to Kristen. Their cleric elbow deep in his briefcase as she pulled out a blanket wrapped bundle and placed it gently on the floor. Unwrapping it just enough that it wasn’t so tightly bound but keeping the sheet draped over the top so he wasn’t visible underneath.
“Oh… that’s my corpse. That is… deeply unsettling.” Riz winced, glad that he couldn’t really see past the sheet that had been left draped over his body. Seeing his own seven-day rotting remains would not be good for his psyche.
“NOT going to be a corpse in a minute.” Kristen reached over to pat his head when Fabian sat down next to her, their cleric reaching into her pocket with her other hand to withdraw a massive purse full of diamonds and slam it on the ground next to the head of the body before her.
“I am going to do this until it FUCKING STICKS this time. OKAY. Riz Gukgak. You are currently available and willing to be resurrected yes?”
“Yeah?”
“Good. Fair warning, this is going to take a while and you are going to feel like shit afterwards. Raise dead is going to leave you exhausted for a while afterwards.”
Kristen reached into the bag for a diamond with one hand, holding it up as she touched Riz’s body with her staff and started the spell. As soon as the staff touched his chest Riz felt something tug at the core of his being. He didn’t resist, letting his consciousness blank out and following the pull as everything went black for what felt like a few seconds.
Riz had to admit, when he next opened his eyes, that Kristen was not lying about how awful he would feel upon being resurrected. The goblin groaning and throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the light because everything hurt. He assumed it had worked though, not just because of the sheer exhaustion he was feeling right now but also because of the delighted exclamations of his teammates around him. The goblin huffing tiredly flicking his tail when Fabian picked him up again and held him against his front, Riz dropping his head onto his shoulder and making an unhappy hissing noise at the movement.
“Uuuuugh fuck. Ow? You weren’t kidding. How long will this take to go away?”
“Four long rests. Sorry.” Kristen pat his back soothingly, Riz absently noting that he didn’t have wings there any more and feeling a little sad for their loss. Oh well.
“Gods. Okay that’s going to suck.” He yawned, squinting his eyes open to blink at the ship still lodged in the dimensional tear behind them. “Speaking of sucking… did any of you tell my mom that I died or is that something I’m going to have to do when we get home?”
“Oh fuck… sorry dude we totally forgot.”
#fantasy high#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#bad kids#fig faeth#gorgug thistlespring#adaine abernant#kristen applebees
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You know when you're so tired you're like shaking and freezing...
Anyway it's deadline day and I haven't slept in like? 16hrs wish me luck
#essie rambles#mentally.....#I've ascended#not sure if that's how I'll feel in a few hours...#i will most likely be awake to find out anyhow
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#as much as i love him he's not always the most useful. that fight is one of those times-#still always keep him in the party though. perfect p4 team to me is yosuke teddie and naoto#i haven't gotten to naoto joining the party yet but i love her. trans icon. vibing naoto is the best thing to happen to the persona 4 fandom#and yosuke and teddie are my favorites of the investigation team thus far. the others are all very close but they're above the others#dunno why i like yosuke so much. souyo is def part of it#and teddie is very very silly. idk why people hate him so much like yea he can be kinda annoying but he's only existed for a few months#he doesn't understand social cues yet. he's just autistic leave him alone vhgbhmfhdf- /hj#i feel like a lot of persona characters have autism vibes but that's probably at least partially just me projecting#at the very least i'm sure we can all agree that aigis and marie do. autism arcana#that's. probably why they're my favorite girls ggyfubhngd-#aigis is easily my favorite persona character. she's cute and also silly :3 and bisexual i love the bisexual toaster and her doors <3#(aikoto + hamugis polycule for the win. makoto and kotone aren't dating obv. ryoji's also dating both of them separately#)#and marie is cute and also silly i'm totally dating her. love how persona technically lets you polyamory so long as you don't date everyone#i have to max her social link for the golden-exclusive content anyway so might as well#‚‚‚ this post got derailed. i like the part where i talked about my beloved persona 3 bisexual polycule#p4's def the best persona game i think but i love p3 very much too. makoto kotone aigis and ryoji are unsurprisingly my faves#really love yukari too. i spent several hours trying to figure out how to add mods to p3p so i could date her as kotone#it was not successful. i'll probably get it on steam when i inevitably play it gghdhchvhv-#and i'll get reload at somepoint too. probably on steam at least first so i can use the kotone mod i need my girlie#makoto is also great i love him. emo non-binary icon. but also silly girlboss. they're both so mentally unwell#that reminds me of a drawing i have in my drafts i should post that#oh also it's aikoto week apparently??? which is very poggers. idk the prompts but i need to draw my sillies regardless#i do slightly prefer hamugis but they're both very very cute to me. the toaster has two hands she can kiss both the doors-#idk why that joke's so funny to me. i should stop now-
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#it's quite a while that i do a really long rant here#but i really need to get all the shit out from my mind and clear everything inside my brain#and yeah it's actually related with yesterday's race actually#i mean we all always saying that never let sports ruin or dictate our own emotions and other phrases that related with this#but in a serious matter it really really exhausted my mind and honestly yesterday is the peak of it#and the fact is before the race start i was feeling so happy that srg wins mpl malaysia for 2nd time#and i say to myself that whatever happens during the race i should be happy that my fav esports team wins another title this year#but yeah....the race happens and it all just chaos...i mean not that usual chaos but i feel it's even worse#especially after the race#like seriously i should have stay away from any social medias for a while today#because i know how awful the vibes and environment there (and here as well tbh)#but yeah 🥲🥲🥲#like i really expecting that f1 is the only sports out of other sports that i'm getting into with#that i really feel mentally drained and doesn't makes me feel any joy by enjoying it at some point#but yesterday...that's the peak of it#i'm just getting more and more tired of the whole thing happens in f1#and the real life 'job' (more like uni life) doesn't even help me brighten up my mood either#where during app development my group is having a really though situation to going back from the start#in which we had some conflicting on some of the solutions are as same as other one group#and forreal all my groupmates were just fed up thinking about how to came up with new ideas#so yeah it's just this past few hours are just mentally emotionally physically drained out#like i really need to take a break for a while but idk i'm sure#i'll starting to get more and more tasks and assignment for the next few days *sigh*#nahhhhhh i know it's really long rant but i just want to be in a good headspace rn
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uploading all the videos i took during my time on tour with scott onto a flashdrive and there's 190 items selected omg,,,,
#to be fair some of them are like 10 seconds of b-roll but other ones are 45 minutes to an hour so idk exactly what the total time is#and not all of these are specifically from the tour a few of them are other vids that could be used in the doc#but i'd guess the vast majority are the tour#current mood is that meme where someone asks to see the person's phone and they're like ''sure just a sec''#and then it's a screenshot of deleting 50+ screenshots of the same fictional character or celebrity#except all of the scott images/vids on my phone are somehow for WORK and i can't delete them i'm duplicating them onto a flashdrive#so even if i do need to free up space i will have the video of scott teasing me at my first gay bar FOREVER#anyone wanna watch through the several hours worth of footage with me as i try to figure out how i'm gonna edit this into a 10 min sample#as the final for my independent study credit lmao#(rhetorical but also maybe at some point i'll be sharing some of this behind the scenes footage even if it doesn't make the doc)#that tour was such a wild experience i miss it so much lmao#feeling nostalgic for sitting on the floor of a nyc train station with scott and casually chatting about being undiagnosed manic-depressive#literally the best vibes i wish i was sitting on the floor of a train station with scott rn
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Today I was able to stand for a new limit of 50 minutes when my physical symptoms are at their most minimal in a controlled environment. So we know 50 is the max now we're trying to reach 1 hour. I feel like I could've reached an hour with how I was feeling but the muscle endurance in my legs wouldn't have let me. I'm reaching a weird stage in my progress where its been so long since my body has had to support my weight for that long the blood pooling in my soles irritates and hurts like hell the days afterwards so now i'm rubbing the my feet like i've worked a hard day to prevent the inflammation from impeding my progress. I feel tho if I can reach that 1 hour limit I can reach longer times with practice. Its been years since i've stood for so long i'm really excited to keep practicing and hopefully keep improving. Last year around this time I was barely reaching 35 maybe 40 if I really really pushed- during my least symptomatic hours. Those extra 10 minutes might not mean much but since the beginning of my illness I never imagined i'd be able to make it to 30 let alone 50. I felt pretty good this session too which is the most important part, I feel like its the lack of muscular stamina that held me back rather than cardiac endurance. Anyway update is over, if I reach that 1 hour time it'll be a happy day I cannot tell how long it'll take me to reach that time but with some more practice I think a few weeks or months at least i'd imagine maybe even sooner. I'm so happy lets go! Dreams do come true at least 4 me ehehe!
#pots#dysautonomia#progress#the best thing about longer uptime means more endurance - the longer i'm able to stay up the more my legs should begin to adapt#if I can push the amount of time when i'm not as symptomatic maybe it'll help increase my endurance when i'm most symptomatic#when i'm at my most symptomatic I cannot stand for the life of me more than a minute#i will collapse#but increasing my minimal symptomatic time to higher numbers means I feel less physical pain and exhaustion when I am at my most#symptomatic which is honestly all i want#if I can withstand the exhaustion of when i'm most physically ill for more than a minute or two at a time then I can endure it#when i'm compeltely still and laying down which is rlly hard and it hurts like hell and i'm exhausted when it happens#theres nothing in this world like trying to catch your breath while your body is writhing in pain and youre trying not to pass out#i'm just glad on a good day and lots of monitoring i can manage a few hours without any of those#when it was happening once an hour for like hours at a time for months i was in literal hell#the scariest bit is i'm forgetting how it felt to be like normal-ish#like there were days where the most I worried about was like regular stuff like homework#now i'm worried about things like making sure i have a glass of water with me or else i'll die#which sounds absurd but its now my reality its strange how that just becomes real#ive been typing for so long but i don't feel fatigued it really shows how far ive gotten these last few years#last time i wrote this much on a tumblr text post about my illness i was trying to catch my breath the entire time#im kinda happy#ehehe!
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its just so hard to explain at times that im seriously so fucking aroace but at the same time kip could just look at me and make my heart do ten million moonsaults and kill me instantly but i still dont feel attracted to him in a sense that i would either actually pursue him or want to fuck him and i think thats what makes me feel so fucking alone in the wrestling space so often tbh
#not only cause its him but also cause i see this so much around me (and i get this this is a sport filled with attractive people i totally#get it) but just in general im just. so lonely at times. and i know wrestling also attracts a lot of aces i know the best of you personally#but i still feel like. im not normal thinking this way. yes i feel aesthetic attraction. im also attracted to the mental side of this sport#and its competitors tho. good person and personality (and character + character work) is insanely attractive to me#but i still dont wanna fuck em like. i dont know how to explain anything. they dont make me feel like that#even if i do flip my shit sometimes. im sure some people never forget lol but.. yeah. yeah thats all thats in me#i dont know where i was going with this. just feeling extremely non-feeling and not belonging in this club tonight#im gonna go play something i'll be back in a few hours for eurovision. youve been warned#night is an absolute mess on main#aaa
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how do you unlock cat ears
like, how do i unlock cat ears? for myself? well first of all i'd go to the store and unlock it for like five bucks. second of all, i wouldn't wear cat ears, i'm not a catboy. third of all id rather order like bunny ears i guess. fourth of all you have to beat HL2 without picking up any weapon besides the gravity gun, and beat the game in less than 5 hours. does that help at all or do you need to use cheat engine
#ask#anon#dont give me that ''oh theres no way you can do that. thats impossible''#false bitch 💅 because ive done it#and i'll do it again. whenever i feel like it. but moreso i want to do it again after ive got the ability to record it#theres a video of a gravity gun only run of hl2 on youtube. but i did it before i knew that video existed#it was kinda funny seeing how they did the same things i did in a few spots without me ever watching the video#its also possible because im sure stores sell them. cat ears. idk about bunny ears.#and you can get five dollars. maybe more#am i going to fast. i have to if i want to beat hl2.#i say five hours cause i have to reload saves and do lots of preparing in a few sections#i dont play it like a speedrun either. i just go at my own pace and fuck around with stuff as i get through the game#theres speedrun tech i do but i dont speed through every part of the game#anyway thank you for the ask anon
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my toxic trait is work taking up so much of my mind that i think i should just be paid for every bit of work i do. unfortunately this does not translate well to schoolwork and housework
#speculation nation#like i mean it's nice to just be able to do as much work as i want for my job#i can just go in on a day off for a few extra hours bc there's always more to do#and i always make sure to log it so i get compensated :)#but now in my mind doing Extra Work is categorized as Extra Pay but it literally doesnt work like that for personal work#looks regretfully towards my built up dishes...#i at least put my clean dishes away today. i meant to do them today but i dont think that's going to happen lol#i'll at least work on them in the next few days. i'd like to not be living bowl to bowl anymore#(the old 'clean one bowl to use one bowl' phenomena lol)#but i literally opened up my school account to review what the lecture today was about & to prep for lab tomorrow#and somewhere in my mind i was like 'ok i gotta record when i started so i can get compensated for this'#like u stupid bitch it doesnt WORK like that#i wish it did tho. god i should be paid for studying. government pls subsidize my degree. pls#i know that Kind of exists in the form of scholarships but get this im mentally ill and thus cant get scholarships#and so i have to work my way thru school. ugh.#what i wouldnt give for a free ride thru school with living expenses dealt with. INFINITELY jealous of students with rich family#they always talk about how successful people are more often successful bc of Life Advantages (like family paying for shit)#and like. god i feel that#me struggling my way thru school bc i gotta work and pay rent & the amount of work that requires overall is quite frankly crippling :)#i'll get there eventually... and maybe one day i wont have to work so much. we'll see lol
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Adding the fact that I'm a lawyer to every possibly relevant tag ramble to somehow convince myself that maybe I am in fact a lawyer.
#adding to the insufferable lawyer trope <3#imposter syndrome is a real bitch this week#really really shit hearing situation last week and now I feel awful#the heart rate over 140 waking me in the middle of the night bad#i might be a bad lawyer but dammit I am a lawyer#kinda crazy how I thought I just had to fight for my life in high school but hey then I'd be in college it'd be ok#but then I got to college and thought oh that's ok I just have to fight for my life until grad school#then I got to grad school and was like phew it's been tough but hey I just have to fight for my life until I have a job#and now it's like wow I'm on the verge of my body and mind giving up on me but it's ok just fight a few years with all my remaining strengt#and then I'll... and then what?#make partner at a litigation boutique? work just as many hours as I do as an associate?#more money? cool but where's the time to use the money#I'm going to die young my illnesses make sure of that#so it's not like I'm saving for a luxurious retirement#I had a rough therapy session re: my job last week and it's been weighing on me#that plus the biggest fuck up of my career the other week#makes me feel like shit#but I am a lawyer and I earned that shit and no one can take that away from me
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just downloaded my first xv mod so let's see how that goes
#i'm playing on easy bc. here for the plot not the combat#the mod i got makes getting ap perks easier. which makes sense for how i'm playing#anyway. i know i need to finish symp...... but scenery...... exploration...........#my husband and i spent hours too long in t.lou2 just exploring. i've never played like. a triple-a adjacent game so#i played d.a inquisition a few years back and was SHOOK at those graphics and i'm SHOOK at x.v honestly#like. one day i want to play 16.but i'm not honestly sure if i ever will be able to#i'm not going to update my laptop anytime soon. it still functions well and was pretty decent at the time i got it#but it's 6 years old now and struggles with games that came out that same year :(#one day!!! one day when i am making big money i will get me a newer computer and an art tablet WITH a screen#i'll feel like i'll have made it then lol
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