#not so much writing as me losing my mind about it but still

[daisymbin]

second chance romance 12. "every song reminds me of you."

woozi gets writers block after his breakup with y/n and realizes how much color and life had when they were still together. he would do anything to get back together 🥺

why does this already sound so heartwrenching :(( thank you for requesting this, lovely!! 🤍

request your own: full prompt list!

check out my masterlist! // jihoon's m.list

second chance prompt #12: "every song reminds me of you."

jihoon had spent weeks staring at his keyboard, fingers hovering but never pressing. the notes he usually heard in his mind came in fragments—disconnected and hollow. every song he tried to write felt incomplete, as if missing the heart it used to have. as if missing you.

he sat in his studio late at night, frustration burning in his chest. “why can’t i just—” his voice cracked, and he slammed his hand against the desk.

the memory of your laugh, your voice humming along with his music, filled his mind. he swallowed hard. you had been his muse without him realizing.

“why didn’t i fight for you?” he muttered under his breath.

a knock at his studio door startled him.

“you’re still here,” seungcheol said, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation.

“don’t start,” jihoon warned, leaning back in his chair.

“i wasn’t going to. i was just wondering how long you were planning to torture yourself.”

jihoon glared at him, but seungcheol didn’t flinch.

“you should talk to her,” seungcheol continued, arms crossed. “you’ve been miserable since the breakup, and it’s obvious she’s the reason you can’t write.”

“it’s not that simple,” jihoon snapped. “i hurt her, cheol. you don’t just come back from that.”

“it doesnt have to be this hard either. you don’t know unless you try. you always overthink, but this—this is different. just go. tell her how you feel.”

“and if she doesn’t want to see me?”

“then at least you’ll know you tried.”

jihoon clenched his jaw, his heart pounding as he weighed the possibility of facing you again. seungcheol’s words echoed in his mind long after his friend left, and eventually, he found himself standing outside your door.

the door creaked open, and your face appeared in the gap, your expression soft but full of unspoken emotion.

“hoonie jihoon?” you said his name like you couldn’t believe it, like you thought you might be dreaming.

his breath caught. “hi.” his voice was barely audible. “i… i know it’s late. i wasn’t sure if you’d even want to see me, but—” he faltered, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“what are you doing here?” you asked, your voice quiet, tinged with sadness.

“i don’t know how to say this,” he admitted, looking down at his feet. “but i couldn’t stay away anymore. i needed to see you.”

your lips parted, your eyes scanning his face for answers. “jihoon… it’s been months—”

“i can’t stop thinking about you,” he said, his voice breaking. “every song reminds me of you. every melody, every lyric… it’s all you.”

your lips trembled, tears forming in your eyes as you tried to keep your composure. “you can’t just show up like this after all this time. do you know how hard it’s been for me?”

“i know,” he said quickly, his own voice thick with emotion. “i know I don’t deserve another chance. i know i hurt you more than i can ever apologize for. but i’m a mess without you. i can’t write. i can’t think. everything in my life feels empty because you’re not there.”

you looked away, tears slipping down your cheeks. “why did you leave me, jihoon? you didn’t even fight for us.”

“i was scared,” he admitted, his voice shaking. “of how much you meant to me. of how much losing you would hurt. but i didn’t realize that losing you anyway would destroy me.”

you let out a shaky breath, your hands trembling as you wiped your face. “i don’t know if i can trust you again. you broke my heart.”

“i know,” he whispered, stepping closer but keeping a respectful distance. “but i’ll spend the rest of my life fix it if you let me. i’ll prove to you every single day how much you mean to me. just… give me a chance.”

you stared at him, his words sinking in, the raw desperation in his voice breaking down the walls you had built around your heart. he took a deep breath, his eyes glistening. “i don’t want to live without you anymore.

your tears fell freely now, your heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice. after a long moment, you nodded, the smallest movement, but it was enough.

jihoon’s shoulders sagged in relief, his eyes filling with tears. “thank you,” he whispered.

you stepped back to let him in, and as he crossed the threshold, he hesitated.

“i mean it,” he said, his voice trembling but steady. “i’ll spend every day showing you how much i love you. i won’t mess this up again.”

as you closed the door behind him, the weight of the past began to lift. it wouldn’t be easy, but in that moment, with jihoon standing in your home again, you felt the first flicker of hope.

and for jihoon, the music in his heart finally began to return.

[demonlineswhore]

Dad’s best friend San thots - reader is 22 y/o, San is 45 (established relationship)

NSFW (all scenarios below are consented to previously by characters)

• Dad’s best friend San who wakes you up in the middle of the night by fucking into you desperately after he had a wet dream and he couldn’t wait anymore. “My perfect toy, letting my use it whenever I want”

• Dad’s best friend San who grunts as he abuses your hole even as you’re still waking up “so perfect for me. Just a hole for me to use”

• Dad’s best friend San who loves when you call him Daddy or Sir. And he LIVES for praise. “Daddy’s cock is so big inside me” “Sir fucks me so good” “Yeah that’s right, Daddy’s nearly too big for you, isn’t he?”

• Dad’s best friend San who has a possessive streak “No one can fuck you like this, huh? No one can fuck you this good” “You were made for me” “That filthy pussy is mine”

• Dad’s best friend San who LOVES when you call him Daddy outside of sex as well. Makes him want to care for you that much more, reminds him that you do really want and appreciate his protective nature

• Dad’s best friend San who will eat you out for hours on end, wearing the glasses he knows make you feral, getting cum all over them, making you lose your mind seeing your cum smeared all over not just his face and chin but the glasses too (this one may have been a little self indulgent lol)

• Dad’s best friend San who won’t ask you for blowjobs because what is he if not a gentlemen, but when you insist he loses his absolute shit, low moans, grunting, using your hair to guide you. He gets close and tries to pull out, but you don’t let him, keeping going until just before he cums, pulling off, saying “Daddy please come on my face” all pouty and he cums so hard right onto your face and lips, grunting and almost whining

• He gets so worried afterwards, scared that he’s disrespected you so much, but you reassure him that you wanted it, you asked for it after all. And that’s how he finds about about your degradation kink

I’m too tired to write anymore, will probably write a part 2 soon

[muzzlemouths]

Since you're working on a new fic/au, this might be a good time to ask: how do you start creating a new story? Do you start with an outline? Do you open a word doc and go in guns ablaze? What's the process on that I'm very curious

I sat on this ask for a couple days because I've been struggling with figuring out how to answer it, since the actual answer is that I don't have a process. Not one that sticks, anyway.

For DMD, I had a clear, concise idea in mind for how it would start, how it would end, and a few scenes that needed sorted in between. But the "outline" looks something like that one post:

Most of my fics that end in "?" for the final chapter look like this.

In terms of my oneshots and drabbles, I very rarely have any sort of outline in mind. I'll get an idea for a scene that I want to see, and I'll just start typing until it's finished. Anything over 3k words normally has me writing down some notes for direction, at least.

As for DFtR, due to the nature of that story (what with having three alternate routes) it was pretty much required that I write a full outline, otherwise I would undoubtedly lose track of some details.

My newest au, Easy As Pie (formerly Stardust Hotel) also has a full outline, though it is far more simplified than the one for DFtR, and acts more like guidelines for me to follow with only the necessary/important information established, which still leaves me with room for changes where/when necessary.

For example, here's an excerpt from that outline which has the main bullet point (What that scene is "About") and then a brief description of the room underneath that I can use as a descriptor, while writing everything else around it. That is, the dated appearance of the room is the main focus, and everything else that occurs in this scene will be written as a secondary focus.

Occasionally I'll also include brief phrases/conversation just to ensure that said lines make it into the fic, and so I don't lose track of what is meant to be happening in that moment. Those bits normally look pretty silly (at least to me). Here's one of them!

And that's my process! It's kind of a mess, but it works for me, so that's all that matters haha

[aruanism]

The Ocean Blue and Bloodied Hands

1.0k words | ooc, self indulgent aruani ff :33

(I'm not fluent in English T.T + I'm still taking creative writing classes)

Since when did you start looking at me that way, with your pretty sapphires and ever-so-curious gaze?

Because I'm a monster—a mass murderer with blood on her hands. I was trained to kill; I murdered countless people for the sake of missions. Yet, you still stood by me. When our gear was inspected that one day, you called me a nice person. Why? During an expedition, I was trampling comrades without hesitation. And you, you looked so scared under my gaze. I knew you'd figure me out soon enough after that, dearest. Yet when you did, you kept my secret for a whole month. Although I'm wounded, my dear. You gained my trust and betrayed me afterward.

Though I'm glad I could be a good person even just for a while. At least for you.

I was trapped in a crystal with my thoughts for four long years due to your betrayal. And yet, you still talked to me—looking up at my still form with your pretty blues, as if I would reply. I stood there, my eyes closed, still encased, wishing I could; could see the look on your face as you talked about your explorations or the way your eyes sparkled with each word spoken from those precious lips I wanted to kiss so badly. And when you said you understood me, do you really? I can only hope that I'm still a good person to you.

While countless colossal titans trampled over millions of people, it was also the first time we talked to each other properly, uninterrupted. The ship’s engine roared beneath our feet, the ocean’s waves humming its continuous rhythm. I pressed my knees close to my chest before patting the space beside me. Please, I need you. Awkward silence and unsaid feelings lingered between us until I remembered I had to thank you.

“I realized…that I hadn’t said thank you yet.”

“Huh?” Is that all you have to say?

“For coming to talk to me over all those years. Thank you.”

“Oh.” I missed you, more than I’ll ever express.

In truth, I was so lonely. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Four damned years of being hardened, I could see nothing while my thoughts were louder than ever. I had to look forward to hearing you and Hitch’s voice, just to remind me that I was alive and breathing. Even if those stories were as stupid as Hitch talking about her bad taste in men, it gave me a sense of normalcy that I yearned for. I remembered the story you told me—that day you visited the beach. You told me that you even found a beautiful conch, though I bet it's as beautiful as its beholder. I may not see the wonder in your eyes when you told me your experiences, but I can see it so clearly now, in those deep blues that I fell for since the beginning. How I wish I was there to hold your hand, gaze into your eyes, and...and...

"Oh, Annie." Hearing my name on your lips…sounds so right.

“Tell me why?” I need to know something.

“Why bother talking to a rock that couldn’t so much as grunt a response back?”

“Huh?” Give me a response, please.

“I mean…There must’ve been girls out there more fun and cheerful than me, right…?”

It’s true. There are girls out there more deserving of your attention than I am. Some girls might even give you the world if you asked them to. Of all the women in that island, you chose the terrible Female Titan under the name of Annie Leonhardt, whose presence is but a living nightmare. She's a traitor, a bloodstained Marleyan warrior candidate, a horrible being who deserves—

“Annie, I did it because... because...I—” I want to….no. I need to know.

“...I missed you.” What?

Three words, three syllables. A combination of words I never thought I’d hear in my whole life, spoken from the lips of the man I hold so dearly to my heart—Armin Arlert. Suddenly, the hardened warrior I was crumbled to a million pieces. I felt so vulnerable, so real, so human. My cheeks reddened as the unfamiliar yet felt-so-right feeling of being oh-so-loved spread through my chest. I never felt this way, not in my 20 years of living in this God-forsaken world.

“...Why?” The only thing that came out of my dried lips.

“Huh? Do you really not get it?” I don’t, Armin.

“Even after Hitch teased me so much?” Yes.

“...I don’t. ” I’m being honest.

Because for years, Armin was talking to me, an enemy. He’s a good person compared to myself. He was willing to visit me, knowing I might wake up at any moment to strike once more. When I stood to stop the conversation, he held my hand. Those hands that belong to the man I've felt human with for years...

“Sit back down.” Alright.

Squeezing my hand even tighter, I sat back down with him avoiding his gaze. He's holding my hand so tenderly, the same hand possessing the ring behind multiple people's lives lost. Besides, why should I stay? I already said what needs to be said. I had thanked him for being there. What's more to be talked about?

“And I know I’ve told you this before.”

“But I’ve decided I really don’t like being called a good person.” Huh?

“I’ve killed a lot of people. Not just soldiers. Regular people, children…” So have I.

“I’ve killed comrades…” I know.

“I’ve been a terrible monster myself for a long time.” Then let’s be terrible monsters together—you and me. I want to be there for you like you were for me.

Hours after our conversation on that ship, I could only wave goodbye as you rode the flying boat with the others. I decided I wouldn’t fight anymore. To spend the final moments of my life in peace…with you. Even if this is a selfish dream, I want to enjoy every year of my life with you, not worrying about anyone else. I could look into your eyes every morning and run my fingers through those golden hair strands on your head.

Because I love you, my dear Armin. I loved you, and I still do.

[vagueconfusion]

I've been having this thought about Alkaline and the process of alkaline hydrolysis/aquamation (aquamation -> cremation -> funeral pyre?? (all the burial/earth imagery in the eps*) brain please I'm busy) and had the thought in the shower of wondering what the pH of the human body is and now it's taking over my brain and I can't tell if this is too far of a reach because I'm on the verge of doing a whole write up about this topic too.

(Summary: Alkaline possibly referring/being a metaphor for/about about a process called alkaline hydrolysis, which is used as an alternative to cremation and uses water and a strong alkaline solution (lye) to rapidly decompose a body in a matter of hours. The human body's pH is around 7, which is also the track number of the song Alkaline, and also the line "neither acid nor alkaline" would put the subject of the song at pH 7 as well. Which would make The POV Vessel sings from the lye solution)

Also This:

[undead-moth]

I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?

I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.

Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.

Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.

[caitlynmeow]

ugh gonna try to conjure my dimitrescu hyperfixation back by watching some videos and hoping for the best

[iamthepulta]

The best thing about Italy and Europe is that linen just- exists here. I can go buy a shitty cheap 100% linen dress like I would go to Fry's and buy a shitty cheap 100% polyester dress in America. Absolutely revolutionary for my wardrobe. I can't actually buy wardrobe enhancements because I have a carry-on suitcase, but the fact I still have the option is amazing.

[necrotic-nephilim]

your Kon post was sooooo good, like yes the core four are queer platonic, however Kon is hypersexual enough to have made out with (or more) everyone in young justice at least once, yes, including the non-corporal Greta don’t ask me how that worked

I love all of these posts!!! how many of these ask game things do you have in your inbox??

thank you so much!! and i ABSOLUTELY agree with you on hypersexual Kon (truly i just adore characters with grooming/rape trauma like Kon coping through the lense of hypersexuality) and even if YJ is queerplatonic, Kon has made his way through most of them. including Greta. he's creative he'd find a way. probably involving TTK. bc TTK in sex is a thought i have daily. endless potential for using it to basically turn someone's body into a living fleshlight he can manipulate from the inside out- specifically have a TimKonBart idea in my head about that where Kon coaches Bart through sex, since Bart is a speedster with a bonkers refractory period who struggles to feel satisfied, and Tim is caught between them getting used to get Bart off with Kon using TTK to manipulate Tim's body. fun times. fun ideas.

currently, i have one more ask game ask in my inbox (tho always feel free to send more!) that's BruJay focused. though i *do* also have a couple other asks that are just ideas i pan to use as prompts for full fics. just haven't gotten to those yet bc i'm currently busy with packing to move states so. i have *not* had the time to write i wish i had. i will not reveal too much but one involves JayTim fucking during the Titans Tower incident, another is JayTim with animal traits leading to porn, and then another is Tim/Kon/Jon with incest kink stuff. so! i have many things planned, i just need to settle into my new place, however long that takes.

[futurewife]

so we can have a bonkers w.olverine horny revival whenever but only 10 people at any time want to fuck c.able. ok maybe I have special eyes. jk where is his special moment

[self-shipper-snowdrop]

I am in the airport heading back from vacation why do I see notifs for comments asking me to DM them

[eggmeralda]

do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option

[skrunksthatwunk]

post-forced-extension of that assignment i was losing my mind about tuesday/wednesday i experienced a very familiar "ah.... it's as if the deadline no longer exists....." feeling that has now been replaced with "wait i still can't find the resources i need. and i don't know how to organize this. and i don't know what im presenting on (<- super broad topic and i can't fucking find the information i actually need bc our university doesn't?? give us jstor subscriptions or whatever anymore??? so it's all scholarly stuff i can't read or ppl's blogs which im not fucking using for this and half of them just copy entire paragraphs from encyclopedia britannica. who is saving my ass but whatever)" mixed with "I'll figure it out later 🙂‍↕️" IM PRESENTING IT IN 11 HOURS 💀💀💀

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

So does félix have like… hobbies…?

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I have thoughts about the TTPD speculation/two years/loneliness/sharing feelings through songs train but I'm putting them under a cut because. Yeah.

OK, so I'm giving a warning:

I'm talking about BTTWS, but NOT about the speculation/inspiration behind it. Just about the feelings in it and the Midnights of it all/the idea that sharing the difficult things brings comfort/companionship. So getting that out of the way so we can remove that part of the discourse out of it.

Regardless of whatever the inspiration/event behind BTTWS may be, whether it's about a loved one or personal, I've long felt that its inclusion on Midnights, an album about things that have kept her up at night, is significant in the feelings it portrays.

For instance, we can be fairly certain that Taylor wasn't actually turning in Scooter B. to the FBI and conspiring with his ex-wife to bring him down (or was she?) in Vigilante Shit, just as we can safely guess that she probably did actually pick up that pebble in Wicklow that reminded her of a peaceful time in Sweet Nothing. The line between fiction/reality, personal vs. narrative matters less on Midnights in this case than the feelings she was expressing in the songs, which are very personal and truthful. The revenge fantasy in Vigilante Shit is her working through her anger over having her masters sold and how she's fought hard to have the last laugh over someone who is a sworn enemy. Sweet Nothing is her reflecting on the dichotomy of her (presumed) quiet home life she felt was safe and the noise of the outside world. (Now, we might speculate on why she was ruminating on this, but that's another story.)

So with that preamble out of the way, BTTWS's inclusion in the tracklist I feel is just as important, again regardless of the inspiration behind it or her personal connection to it. Even if it is a song about someone other than herself, including it as the only "not personal/not diaristic" song on an album as ostensibly self-reflective as Midnights would stick out if that were thecase, though obviously it's her album so she can do whatever she wants and could have her own reasons. (Just like she included Ronan on Red and Soon You'll Get Better on Lover about similar themes, it could just be a tribute to a loved one.) But given all the thematic arcs and parallels on Midnights, I do feel like it's there to include a specific set of feelings being processed, even if the origin on the feelings may or may not be her own. (I'm trying to be really sensitive in my word choices here, hope they make sense.)

BTTWS is a song about loss and grief, and specifically the fallout of an event outside of her/the narrator's control. The person in the song has nothing to turn to to deal with their pain: no faith to guide them, no wisdom to tell them everything will be alright. Throughout the song there is a pervasive sense of isolation: everything is over, they're living without something that was once theirs but suddenly was not. It captures the fog and confusion of living through a painful event without having any way to process. She even says from the start that, "no words appear before me in the aftermath," which for someone like Taylor who has stated over and over how writing is literally how she processes her life would be the ultimate reflection of the depths of her hurt.

(To be clear I do not think this is a song about a breakup whatsoever: IMO it clearly is not about a relationship dissolution of any kind. I just think that the feelings of grief and loneliness in the song may have felt relevant to whatever she was going through during the time the album was coalescing in 2021-22.)

Knowing what we know now about at the very least the period between 2021-2023, Taylor was going through a time of significant difficulty in her life behind the scenes, which is how The Tortured Poets Department came to be, right on the heels of her completing Midnights sometime in early 2022. She has said herself that making TTPD was a lifeline, that she had to keep writing to deal with whatever it was that she was experiencing and going through. And as I posted about earlier today, she's also said repeatedly on tour that not only is writing about her feelings how she processes her pain and loneliness, but that then sharing that music with fans brings her great comfort because it makes her feel less lonely to know people understand and relate to what she's going through.

And we know that she has self-edited her albums over the years (including Midnights) to protect herself and perhaps even the subjects of her songs, which we have seen with the inclusion of the vault/bonus tracks in the re-records and on Midnights. Obviously some of these reasons are logistical -- album was too long, cut songs sounded too much like others, maybe she or her producers felt the ones that were originally chosen were stronger, narrative or sonic cohesion, etc. -- but with what we've seen over the last few years, these songs also filled in the lines of the stories being told and reframed the narrative being told.

Nowhere is that clearer than with You're Losing Me, for example. It's pretty obvious why it was held back: presumably she wouldn't want to release a song about a relationship at its breaking point when she was still actively in the relationship. Yet as soon as the relationship ended, she released it, we can only assume because of her realization that sharing the music and having people respond to it validates her feelings and makes her feel embraced, as it were. Then with the announcement of TTPD and how it's been brewing for essentially the intervening period between when YLM was written and now, we can also surmise that these songs will be dealing with feelings she also felt the need to hold back for whatever reason at the time, but has now decided should be out there so she can feel more whole.

So coming back to BTTWS, it being included on Midnights the way that it was strikes me as a form of sharing feelings that may have been too difficult to process. Again, not implying I have any insight into what the origin of the song is about, or imposing my own beliefs onto her, or that she was sending some sort of secret message with its inclusion! But thematically, BTTWS deals with an intense loss and feeling completely unmoored and alone as a result, which is present in her other work. And that the dreams the narrator once held have gone up in smoke, leaving her reeling about what's to come next. She's cut off from the world because of the event, unable to speak about or grasp what has happened. Similar feelings are also explored in You're Losing Me for instance, and even Dear Reader (not to mention on past albums like evermore, this is me trying, arguably hoax, etc.). Just reading context clues from TTPD and her surprise song choices of late, I don't think it's outrageous to presume some of those emotions are going to be present on the new album as well.

So this is just a long-winded way of saying, I feel like the sense of loss, confusion and uncertainty about the future likely resonated with both what she had gone through in the past, and the story as a whole she was trying to tell on Midnights. And while the origin may or may not be personal or relevant to the new story she's going to tell, I also feel like these same kinds of themes are going to be present on TTPD because they're so important for her to share. (I could even mention that the response to BTTWS may even provide evidence that people sharing their experiences in general brings comfort to those going through it, but that may be veering too far into parasocial "why did Taylor do X" speculative territory.) She sings about these kinds of all-consuming losses so eloquently and mindfully that I know the new album is going to be an absolute gut punch.

(not being self-promotional but I delved a little deeper into the Midnights 3am tracks including this one a few months ago so it's why it's top of mind and why the connections and thematic parallels are so resonant to me lately.)

[ozcarma]

Trying to watch 999 let’s plays is such hell to me - NO ONE PLAYS THE GAME RIGHT just shutupshutupshutupshutup and play the game!! Stop trying to make jokes!!!!

I’m too autistic for this, I cannot bear hearing let’s players doing their own voice acting when I adore the game’s VAs too much. Everyone always fucks up Santa’s and Lotus’s voices especially.

I understand the draw of Let’s Plays are largely the people playing them who have gained their own following, but as someone who just loves the game I don’t wanna hear ur stupid banter 💥💥💥 play the game and be intrigued but not TOO intrigued because give it a fuckin minute it’ll explain what’s going on 🙄‼️