#not so lowkey ashamed
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I’m kinda an asshole walking in the middle of the sidewalk lol but I’m not exactly good at picking a side
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captioners you are so valid
#dimension 20#d20#mentopolis#brennan lee mulligan#i curse d20 for making me realize idk how the fuck ppl edit without paying for editing software#the last time i did one of these i somehow used ms paint in the process and its a fucking miracle it became anything coherant#this was created via google photos on my phone so maybe we're getting somewhere idfk someone send help#this took so long I COULD HAVE FINISHED THE EP BY NOW. ashamed to be the age i am but so inept at technology#lowkey hate that my phone has more photo editing features than my laptop smh
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@snaill-dragon here are the designs, I initially wanted to put them under the ask but when I was done I realized it would be so long and off-topic so here's what I got so far
Embermask and Snailtuft are Feverstrike's siblings (half-sister and adopted brother respectively) and Honeyweed and Silentsong are Embermask's kits, given up to be raised in Windclan with Feverstrike, Snailtuft and his mate Darkfreckle as their primary caretakers.
Also this drawing of Feverstrike and his favorite niblings.
Also this icon for Snailtuft's toyhouse page that I kind of like:
Also I would love to see a Sundapple doodle as a trade!! (if you want of course, please don't feel pressured)
#Also Snail for a 5 minute drawing that skeleton looked really funky#it makes sense they would have a spider-like limb placement for the uneven terrain there#for the cats I think for now I only have to draw Owldapple so Feverstrikes and Snailtufts sister#she's the most major one that needs a ref#also man Honeyweed and Silentsong's old refs are ROUGH#they are one of my oldest wc ocs and they had multiple redesigns#the first ones were products of their time#I kind of liked the Honeyweed one#but the second designs were unforgivable#I'm lowkey ashamed tbh of how bad they were#but now i kind of like the new ones!#wc#warrior cats#wc oc#warrior cats oc#art#cinnamon's doodles
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still breakin up? nah i only know still breakin down cause that’s where my ass is at
#i’m not funny#brody grant#im going to kms#I HATE ALBINISM‼️‼️ NOTHING GOOD COMES OF IT IM JUST BLIND AND PIGMENTLESS#ocular migraines blow ass fuck you albinism#it’s not that bad i’m just being a baby lol the blue light probably ain’t helping either#i’m very unfunny sorry#but we’re jamming#that song is gonna end up in my top 100 huh#i’m ashamed#not funny didn't laugh#im gonna end it all#in all seriousness i’m fine it’s just smth a little advil can fix#but i’m just lowkey mad at this dumbass drawing and it’s burnt me out so so so much but it’ll be worth it in the end#🫶
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Once More To See You is so secret ralvez coded btw
#ralvez dating in secret#bc luke has internalized homophobia#and so hes lowkey ashamed to be dating a man#and yeah u get it#this is them right#please agree#you guys see the vision right..#𖤐 rambles#criminal minds#luke alvez#spencer reid#ralvez#spencer reid x luke alvez#mitski#once more to see you
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my grandma won’t stop commenting on my SH scars and i kind of froze bc i didn’t realise my mum hadn’t prepared her or anything?? or talked abt my depression at all?? so my mom said they were cat scratches— just a blatant god awful lie In Front of me— and now my grandma won’t stop asking questions abt it like oh what cat! and when will they go away? and i think im going to have to sit my very Indian grandma down and explain depression and self harm to her in my broken hindi and i’m dreading it so bad
#i hate that i have to do this but im sick of her asking questions#and my mum is just going to keep lying bc ik she’s really ashamed of my SH scars#so i can’t count on my mum for support#im going to literally have to be so so brave yall im so scared#but you know what they say do it scared#hopefully she won’t make it a big deal#im just not going to talk to her if she does like lowkey i don’t need another judgemental adult in my life#aisha.txt#self harm cw
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I love making aus that no one asked for
#currently working on a tmnt one that will never see the light of day#it's oc focused#RAHH#(oc lowkey stands for self insert in this instance)#JKJKJKJK (she was in fact not kidding)#I'm gonna make a secret ao3 account so I don't have to feel ashamed about posting it on my main /j#there's literally nothing justifying on my main account rn anyways#like#I tell people I'm a writer#and like people have actually told me they like my writing style#but everything that I've posted on my ao3 is either old or just lazy#minus like 2 things#(the fantasy au thing and an angsty rise one shot I posted)#(the one shot WAS ALSO OLD)#someone needs to put me in a federal (writers) prison
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I've spent much of the past week feeling sad, angry, powerless, useless. I wondered how people could justify the treatment of Palestinians, but of course it makes sense for coloniser and settler colonial countries to support one another. You can't criticise the actions of one settler colony because then you're effectively also questioning the history and legitimacy of your own state.
#ireland recognise palestine NOW challenge#leo et al actually speaking against the majority of european leaders on this was a nice surprise#like reading about this made me so depressed and lowkey insane because i wondered how the world could not only stand by and watch#ethnic cleansing but actively cheer it on??? and then i spoke to other irish people about it and we're all feeling this way apparently#we as a country are actually normal about something for once. 'the world' is not cheering this on but the most powerful countries are#still feel so fucking ashamed of the world though. like fuck.#especially ashamed of europe as per. if europeans had more fucking shame and humility the world would be a better place
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Not my cat flirting with every pet sitters I get him during my vacations lmao
#misc#this year it's a man#i was lowkey worried cause my cat don't know many men#(idk if they even can tell the difference tbh lmfao)#but this hoe of a cat smelled him and immediately targeted his legs#sometimes i wonder if he wouldn't cheat on me with another human if he had a chance dusjsjjejz#anyway the guy is a young man and as someone who struggled when i was younger#i feel like doing a good action paying someone to do a cool job#(i mean cleaning the litter is not exactly a fun job but getting paid to pet a cat is)#also i met him through my physio who knows everyone#because last year i chose a pet sitter through a pet sitting website#but it was hella expensive#and it's basically a scam cause i paid something like 150€ but only 50€ was for the pet sitter the other was for that shit website#fuck start-ups#anyway i decided to do it the old fashioned way#through social relationships#but i struggled cause i have not social relationships???#except for coworkers#but I don't want coworkers to go to my home#that's an absolute no#it'd be a violation plus i am ashamed of my home and shit#so i prefer someone I don't know at all#so if i get judged it has no consequences#(yes i have trust issues)#so i had to actually gather my courage and ask my physio if she knew someone because she works with lot of young adults and teens#and turns out the mom of the man was here and she said she'll ask him#can't go wrong with someone vetted by hus own mother lol#anyway he said cats are his favourite pets so we're good#Loki definitely sensed that he can plays him like fiddle
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I’ve seriously cried for half a hour cause I couldn’t find the studios… Rafman’s movie was cool tho
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i found my super old ao3 account that i made back in 2016 and abandoned in like 2021 (i don't remember why) and im reading one of my old fics from 4 years ago... tell me why im hooked on it 💀
#... it's 'jay_inactive' if you're curious#i think i lost the password and i don't think i have access to that email anymore so ill probably never log onto it again lmao#also warning... voltron was like the First fandom i wrote fics for. i'm mildly ashamed#they got really popular too for some reason. couldn't tell you why#i'm reading my old bnha fic where i took the kaminari is the ua traitor theory and ran with it#i kinda cooked i fear#it's lowkey making me want to reawaken my bnha hyperfix from dormancy#amori rambles
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Yeah, ok
WHAT IF I
#I reacted completely normally to this information...#...#no I didn't I reacted instantly and viscerally#i am. COMPLETELY sane about the Fables About the Stars Myriad Celestia Trailer (no I am . NOT !!!!!!)#I made the connection so fast I'm honestly a little ashamed#the shapeless prince#I read the line in my head in HER voice...#what if I beat you up#her voice is in my head 25 hours 8 days a week it's a mental illness#what if I krill myshelf#do NOT ask me why I only just now got around to Apocalyptic Shadow#it's been so long since I watched the video with captions enabled so I lowkey forgot the extra monikers were included IN THE VIDEO itself#I need all of you to understand: I will take EVERY. single opportunity I can to rant about Black Swan and this trailer#I have an incredulous amount of intense feelings for this single piece of media; it is genuinely insane#Fables About the Stars Part 1#Myriad Celestia Trailer#Honkai: Star Rail#Honkai Star Rail#HSR#Aeon of Finality#Finality
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Breaking the generational cycle of not joining the military in any way bc I’m disabled is a wild concept
#almost everyone on both sides of my family has gone to war/ been in the military#and my grandfather lowkey was ashamed that I didn’t join the military right after high school#like my good sir I can hardly hold a job where I’m supposed to be standing for my entire shift#what do you MEAN ‘I can’t belive you didn’t sign up’#never really WANTED to join the military but that’s all I knew at a young age#like either go to college or join the military#but eh#nah what i REALLY wanted to do was follow my fathers footsteps and join the firefighters#but nooooooooooooo#I’m chronically I’ll end my body attacks my organs#and if I don’t take my meds it can cause “organ failure#womp womp#(genuinly so upset j can never join the fire station)#(it’s fineeee)#guys help I’m so bored at work#I need to stop rambling#Spoofy rambles
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Pssst, hey you—
Yeah you, the one who likes omegaverse. Is there not enough omegaverse content of your otp in your fandom? Maybe there's not enough gentle loving domestic fluff of them, maybe nobody writes them going at each other the way you quite want them to—or maybe you've even got ocs that you want someone to write content for.
Well I've got good news for you!
I've got open writing commissions, and I happen to love writing omegaverse content~ So for .03$USD a word (or .05$USD a word for fandoms I'm not familiar with and would need to research) you can have your very own catered-to omegaverse fic! I write a wide variety of topics and tropes, and there's very few things I won't write 😉
(I also fucking love werewolves, so there's that too~)
You can read more about it on my 'About' page or through my carrd; I'm reachable through tumblr dm's but honestly the best way to get ahold of me is through Discord (officialRaylynn) or Toyhouse if you have an account.
I look forward to hearing from you <3
#Omegaverse#werewolves#alpha beta omega#werewolf fic#Writing commissions#Commissions open#Self promotion#Okay so if you check my ao3 I know I don't have any abo fics posted#But that's because the majority of the stuff on my ao3 has been part of a writing event with folks that don't dabble in abo#Or has been fics for others who *also* don't dabble in abo#But I have literal years of experience writing these dynamics in roleplays with a friend#We have SO many abo roleplays; I can't believe I lowkey forgot it existed for awhile I'm so ashamed#I promise though; I can write good abo shit-- give me a try :heart:
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today worst day ever 🥹🥹 so glad to be home
#god forbid. a person ik owes me money and im lowkey getting annoyed bc i feel she has it but wont give it to me 😞 i paid for sm of her food#and i felt like she kept interrupting my convos w ppl!! i need her to get off my back#like i dont understand why she asks me to go outside to get food?? if she doesnt order??? like ik i have a complicated money process and its#annoying af IM SORRYYY IM INCONVENIENT!!!! but also man. the app was down at an inconvenient time for two days#and i couldnt pay thru gcash 😞😞#so i 1) went out for NOTHING and 2) just felt so sad idk like ;((#when i came back i was just sad. like idk i felt ashamed to ask for money bc im so annoying or smth#some of my other band mates asked if i str and i just started to PISS MY EYES LIKE IM SORRY!!!!!#idk i feel like i just release stress out in bursts like that like why cant i express these things normally#like i have a past gripe bc i used to be so sensitive as a kid i wojld cry and ppl would just give me things#and like. idk. i dont want to come off as that like im not crying for attention you asked me How are uou Doing and the doing came out thru#pissing my eyes out. idk what else to say fellas#i got issues 😞 but im so grateful there were ppl looking out for me when i was feeling annoying and was broody#i feel like a lot of ppl ive met havent been able to handle that v well and its like oh man that explains why i try#not to cry in the first place!! hahaha okay!!!#but like yeah man. idk i am miffed w this girl bc like. it just always feels like she tries to ctrl what or who i talk to#i cant wait to not be classmates w her 😔#caw.txt#vent
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Have you ever been so inspired to make something, but lack the technical skill to make it, or for some reason or another have no way to externally express this like pent up need to make SOMETHING, and it feels like a gazillion thoughts running through your head and you get so restlessly frustrated because you NEED to make something, but for some reason or another, be it personal or technical, you just can’t? And then you end up giving yourself an anxiety attack and heart palpitations and it feels like you’re going to explode?
#i’m trying so hard to get back into drawing guys#but either i’m so uninspired that it feels impossible to even consider making something#or i’m inspired but i don’t trust myself to even be able to create what my brain wants to create in a remotely satisfactory way#i feel like i’m going crazy#and everyone has advice and it helps in concept#but in practice i just feel so fucking stuck#i just want to draw#and fucking enjoy it#for fucks sake#one of the few times i legit feel so frustrated with myself i’m lowkey feeling like#not great ig#to put it in a nice way#i wish drawing didn’t result in me wanting to destroy all my sketchbooks because i hate everything i make#and i’m too ashamed to even show it to anyone#fuck#i don’t normally vent on here#but i feel really alone today because all my friends are busy doing stuff#or they’re not the type of people i feel comfortable venting to#i just feel like i’m suffocating and i can’t make it stop#and i’m so afraid of losing my love of drawing because i’m so fucking stupid about this shit#ugh#kira vents
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