#not saying it as a complete negative just a wow I forgot it was like that

[nico-the-overlord]

[Image ID. A Pinterest comment that reads “Look at the shy little bean aww poor baby 😂❤️”. A reply below it reads “Oh 2019 humor how I haven’t missed you”. The original comment is dated 5 years ago from 2024, and the reply from 4 months ago. Image ID end.]

[poppadom0912]

Mafia boyfriend

Warnings: Mentions of violence, guns, canon-typical injuries, mob/mafia typical behaviour

Summary: Your boyfriend isn't exactly how you described him to be.

A/N: I’m trying to get a bunch of writing done before the new academic year, so please do enjoy! This idea was so random but the concept is kinda fun so I thought why not. I know no Italian at all, everything is from google translate so I'm sorry for any inaccuracies. This writing and description is very stereotypical and very wattpad of me, I apologise in advance. 🙏

"So, are we ever going to meet your mysterious man?" Stella asked you while the four of you sat in the back of the ambulance having your weekly talk about anything and everything.

You laughed at her expecting face, along with the knowing glances Violet and Sylvie had. "He's just a really busy guy, taking over his dad's business takes a lot of time and not all of it is in Chicago so he's going back and forth from here to Italy."

"But he treats you good, right?" Violet asked seriously, wanting nothing more than for you to be with someone good.

"Oh he's amazing." You said whimsically, a soft smile settling on your lips at the thought of your boyfriend of one year that your family had yet to meet. "Hopefully he's back by Friday so you'll see him on Saturday for the barbeque."

"Oh I completely forgot about that." Sylvie frowned, confused as to how she forgot the yearly picnic that always took place. "What time does it start?"

"I have no idea." You shrugged. "I'll just show up whenever I'm ready."

"Wow, so organised." Stella complimented you sarcastically, ducking away from your hand when you were going to smack her.

"In my relationship, Enzo does all the planning." You mumbled with a slight pout as though trying to prove a point but it didn't work

"Mystery man does have a name!"

"Enzo sounds hot."

"Violet!"

*****

"Eeeee! You're here!" Violet squealed in pure joy as she practically sprinted towards you with her arms open, enveloping you in the biggest hug despite seeing you yesterday on shift. "About time, these lot are getting boring."

At her snide but playful comment, Gallo and Ritter started booing her from where she left them behind at their table with a few others from 51 who were drinking beers. You quickly waved at them and made a mental note to go and say hi to them.

"Oh Violet, I have someone I want you to meet." You eagerly smiled and the younger paramedic took note of your eyes sparkling which could only mean one thing.

Violet gasped, her arms dropping to her side as she did so in disbelief that this was finally happening. "Y/N, don't lie to me girl, my gentle heart can't take it."

You shook your head, smiling at the utter joy one of your friends had for a moment that lots of people don't consider that important. "Violet this is my boyfriend Enzo. Enzo, this is one of my best friends Violet."

With her award winning smile, Violet followed your line of sight and her brows rose in shock when she finally met the man you'd been dating for a little over a year now.

There was no doubt about it, he was an extremely attractive man but he was definitely out of his element. Unbeknownst to all of the CFD, the park was littered in bodyguards who had been held back from personally tailing their boss like they usually would.

Shaking off all her negative thoughts, Violet thought the best and held out her hand towards the attractive but intimidating man. "It's lovely to finally meet you after so long Enzo, I'm Violet."

"I've heard plenty of good things about you. It's a wonder we haven't met earlier." His voice was slightly accented, Violet remembered you saying he was Italian. His grip wasn't as hard as she thought and his tone actually softer than he looked, his words making the paramedic laugh.

"We've been nagging Y/N for so long to meet you but she's very convincing." You choked back a laugh at Violet's comment, lightly elbowing her in the gut. "Alright Vi, that's enough. Where's Stella and Sylvie?"

"Over there with Kelly and Matt."

It was comedic really, the sight of you and your boyfriend together was unbelievable. Despite being a firefighter, you were of very short stature and you were practically the embodiment of pure joy but with your boyfriend standing besides you, he was so much taller and wore all black smart ish attire with rings on two of his fingers.

It was like the typical grumpy and sunshine trope that people read about in books but this was real life. Violet almost couldn't believe you bagged yourself a man like him but in a good way.

"Y/N, hey girl!" Stella smiled, waving you over from besides Kelly as soon as she noticed you. Not only did she notice but so did three others that stood with her that a man was accompanying you, someone who was very out of his element. "Stop- is this the infamous Enzo?"

At your dimpled smile, Stella's smile widened as she fully turned to greet your boyfriend she'd been desperate to meet since you mentioned taking his number ages ago.

There was no denying you were ecstatic to be with him but something wasn't adding up and it seemed that she wasn't the only one suspicious.

Things weren't adding up and your family were dammed if they didn't find out what.

*****

Being shot at was nothing you weren't used to living in Chicago all your life. At this point, you'd become accustomed to it and you no longer feared it how you used to when you were a child.

However, it did scare you when in uniform and out on a call.

Following Casey and Severide's orders, everything was organised in an orderly manner but as soon as you re-entered the house to bring out a victim, all the gunfire suddenly stopped.

Initially, everyone was relieved and began calming down but as soon as you exited the house with a woman in tow, gunshots began raining down once again causing everyone to shout in a flurry of panic.

But once again, as soon as you backed up into the house protecting the smoke inhalation victim, all the gunshots stopped.

It was at this moment, it all slowly started to click.

Whispering to the female victim to stay put, you very carefully set one foot outside the house and what do you know, gunshots started popping off.

Eyes wide and chest heaving, you swallowed harshly at the realisation that you were being targeted. You alone and no one else.

"Y/L/N, stay inside, we're coming to you." Casey relayed over the radio, your captains words making it clear to you that he had also connected all the dots.

All you had to do now was wonder why.

Following the shooting, everyone came out unharmed but you. While you were distracted with the smoke inhalation victim, you were caught slacking and got grazed by a bullet.

You'd been hurt much worse before but it was bad enough for Sylvie to warrant a trip to Med where Enzo met you, worry and concern flooding off of him in waves. Not once since your year of being together had you ever seen him so worried about anything.

He brushed off your questions about work, he told you this morning he had an important meeting with some clients but here he was with you.

Unbeknownst to you, a group of Italian men were dutifully waiting for their boss in the waiting room and beyond the hospital doors lay a few cars all inhabited with similar looking men.

Once you fell asleep, Enzo lightly placed a kiss on your forehead before stepping away, gently closing the doors to your room. Walking away, he was lucky not to bump into anyone from the firehouse, going straight towards his brothers who waited for him to speak eagerly.

"It's them. They're targeting my Y/N."

His younger siblings eyes, identical to his, all darkened at his words. They'd grown attached to you over the one year period and they'd be damned if one of the best things to happen to this family was hurt, let alone dragged into business that she was too pure for.

"Come on, we have some work to do."

*****

That incident was over a month ago. You fully healed since then, the trauma of such an incident long forgotten. And you were too oblivious to notice the change in the people around you, especially your boyfriend and his family. Their protectiveness reaching new heights, not that it bothered you though.

Things drastically changed when one day you never showed up to shift. You were very strict on punctuality and Stella mentioned seeing you yesterday morning for some brunch.

It was only when Violet called Enzo, asking if you'd fallen sick and forgotten to call Boden, did they properly start to get worried.

Your boyfriend picked up on the second ring, voice filled with confusion at your best friend calling him, something she's never done before.

Violet explained the situation, Enzo confirming he hadn't seen you since you left early this morning for work.

The tension in his voice was clear as day. So when he said 'I'll deal with it' before hanging up, Violet was left feeling uneasy.

What the hell did he mean?!

Three hours later, Intelligence were rolling up to the firehouse, well only Jay and Hailey.

"We just got a call about Y/N being kidnapped?" Hailey said, confusion laced in her words as she approached the squad table.

The firefighters all looked at her in shock. They were never told anything about a kidnapping.

"What the hell." Cruz whispered as the two detectives explained everything they knew.

"Who knows where she was seen last?" Jay asked, looking at all of 51, everyone joining them outside in concern for you.

"Her boyfriend Enzo." Violet said, brows furrowed as she bit her lip. "I called and asked him around three hours ago now."

"Really?" Jay hummed. "What's his full name?"

"No clue. That's all we really know about him - his name, he's Italian and he's now a CEO after his dad died." Stella replied when Violet remained silent.

"Interesting."

*****

Dropping off a patient at Med, Violet stood besides Sylvie as she filled in some paperwork, bouncing on her feet to pass time when Will appeared in front of them suddenly.

Scaring both paramedics, he apologised with a sheepish smile.

"Hey, you guys never mentioned Y/N being kidnapped?" Before either of them could reply or explain themselves, he carried on. "It doesn't matter now, she's upstairs in a private room."

Both women were too shocked to reply, staring at the doctor mouths agape and eyes wide.

"Y/N's here? At Med?" Sylvie repeated, wanting clarification just in case she was hearing things.

"Yep." Will nodded. "Me and Maggie were treating her, I'm the primary on her case."

"Well then, what are you waiting for?" Violet said impatiently. "Lead the way Halstead."

And lead the way he did, showing them to a floor they barely saw due to their lack of 'rich rich' patients.

In the chairs outside were several men dressed in blacks and greys, all looking very similar to each other, their brown eyes glued to Sylvie and Violet as they neared the room.

Knocking on the door, Will didn't wait for a reply before entering, poking his head inside before opening it fully.

"Sylvie! Violet!" You exclaimed, trying to get up from your laid back position on the bed, wincing from moving too fast.

"Okay, let's not do that." Enzo said at the same time as Will, gently pushing you to lay back down.

"I've put a rush on your test results." Will said, looking at you and your boyfriend. "If I'm not available, I'll send Maggie."

Enzo thanked him while the two paramedics hugged you cautiously.

"Girl, what the hell happened?" Violet asked first, standing by your head with Sylvie standing next to her, opposite to where Enzo was sat.

"I'll be honest, I don't remember much." You admitted, grimacing at the pain in your head when you moved too much. "Pretty sure I was drugged for the most of it."

"I think I was taken like two blocks away from 51." You said confusingly, looking to your right at Enzo in confirmation, turning back when he nodded. "And all I can really remember is being punched and kicked a few times and like, a bunch of men talking about mob revenge stuff."

"Honestly, I don't even know or remember what they were talking about - I was so out of it."

You licked your chapped lips at which Enzo instantly held a cup of water in front of you, directing the straw for you to drink.

Humming appreciatingly, you smiled at him, dimples and squinted eyes and all before turning back to 2 of 3 of your girls.

"I was so out of it that when I first saw Enzo, I struggled to even recognise him, innit baby?"

Enzo just hummed, his one hand encompassing both of yours, his calloused fingers softly rubbing your knuckles.

"Where was she?" Violet asked, mustering up the courage to ask. "How- Where did you find her?"

Enzo finally took his eyes off you, eyes cold as he looked at your best friend. "I have a really good friend - we grew up together - whose a detective."

"I just asked for a favour." Enzo lied masterfully, having a lifetime full of experience.

The two paramedics, while quite suspicious, remained oblivious to what he was covering up.

"Fratello." A voice from the door interrupted them, all yours heads turning to one of Enzo's younger brothers. Brother

"Sono stati affrontati. Ale and Carlo assicurati che facesse male."

they have been dealt with. Ale and Carlo made sure it hurt.

"Bene." Enzo nodded, smiling at his younger brother. "You guys can go home now." good

His brother rolled his eyes, scoffing when he replied, "You're very silly Enzo, why would we go anywhere?" He said rhetorically before looking at you.

"You look much better cognata!" He smiled, brightening up his face and looking much less scarier than he just was. "All you need now is some good food and you'll be as good as new." Sister-in-law

You giggled, stifling a groan from the pain it caused in your ribs. "Thank you Luca. I expect to go home to your cooking."

He laughed, winking before he left, nodding at his brother who shooed him away.

Before anyone could say anything, the radios around their torsos went off, the familiar voice of Matt asking for their whereabouts causing them to frown.

"We should probably get back to work. We're still on shift for another fifteen hours." Sylvie said, the sadness clear in her face at the prospect of leaving you for so long.

"Yes yes. Go back and save the city on my behalf." You removed one hand from Enzo's, holding it out for both of them to take. "Say hi to everyone for me. Tell em I'll be back to working soon-"

"Ah- no you won't." Enzo stopped you before you could continue, chastising you with a smile but firm in his words. "You need to recover first. Only when you're fully healed can you go back to putting out fires, yes?"

"Exactly!" Violet agreed. "We're all on the same page, perfect."

"We'll come back and see you again after shift." Violet said as the two of them got up to leave. "Don't move an inch."

"Promise." You smiled, thanking them profusely for visiting. "Give everyone my love."

Closing the door behind them, the waiting room remained full of the same men, who now that they were looking properly, looked eerily similar to Enzo.

Making their way to the elevators, Sylvie broke the silence. "I don't- I don't think he asked a friend for a favour."

"Did you see the gun his brother had?"

...

"I did."

[greynvms]

Colour theory with the main cast

Basically, there are two main trios in Assassination Classroom, atleast that’s what I believe :

• Nagisa, Karma, and Kayano

• Nagisa, Karma, and Korosensei

And I just find it so ironic that they also have the most popular colours as their hair colour, but like, why not go into depth about it?

 

Nagisa, Karma, and Korosensei are obviously more well known; literally, most official art is based on them (excluding manga fanart in this).

Also, their main colours are the primary colours (red, yellow, and blue); it’s almost as if they were designed to be remembered like that. Most people learn the primary colours at a young age, and it’s a very easy concept, kind of like it’s easy to understand that these three are the main focus. Plus, Karma and Nagisa naturally have their hair coloured (wow, what a shocker). and Korosensei made himself that for reasons I genuinely forgot, but I think... it was so he could be more presentable looking to the class. Yeah, I really don’t know.

They have quite a bit of stuff focusing on the three of them (when they went to the cinema in Hawaii and how the whole class civil arc was focused on Nagisa and Karma fighting to get their opinion on how they should deal with Korosensei in the future). In addition to that, they’re the three characters with the most screen time and are ranked the most popular in the fandom:

Going back to the colors, they have almost the exact same traits as their main colour.

• Korosensei: inspires, optimistic, energetic, creative, kind of egotistical (?) and the list really goes on.

• Nagisa: loyal, relatively calm, reliable, pretty responsible, passive, etc. (also, the idiom "out of the blue" really does suit him).

• Karma: strength, attention (shown clearly in the class civil war), courage, confidence, and aggression (again, the idiom "seeing red" fits him when the class starts to argue about killing or saving Korosensei).

Now, in comparison to Nagisa, Karma, and Kayano, they're a completely different story. Although the three are known, Nagisa and Karma are obviously more popular (as shown before in the old ranking chart), and their scenes together as a trio isn't a lot, as well as official art (since Korosensei is in quite a lot of them), most I've seen is promotional material, like merch or the Blu-ray CD covers.

Clearly, they're not the primary colours—at least not for paint, that is. They are the main additive colours, which are basically the colours that produce white light and are used for laptop, phone, or iPad screens, so it's a bit trickier for people to get their heads around compared to red, blue, and yellow for paint. It's as if they're right there, but you can't see them; they're not obvious, but they are indeed there.

Now here's where the true comparison comes in: Kayano and Korosensei are not naturally their “colour”. Kayano dyed her hair from black to green, and Korosensei personally decided to become yellow when he could've very well picked any other color. With that, Korosensei is genuine about the traits he has that are shared with the colour yellow, while Kayano is not genuine and it's all an act (except negative traits like inexperience and possibly envy), but slowly she gains those green color traits throughout the show, especially after her whole arc (growth especially, encouragement, generosity, etc).

Overall, even though Nagisa, Karma and Korosensei are the main focus of the animanga, Nagisa, Karma and Kayano truly do drive the narrative forward and do play key roles (not saying Korosensei doesn’t he definitely does).

I just found this really interesting, and I live for colour analysis in characters, so yeah 😯

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey Chapter 3

Inspo: Quote - “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark that’s running through my heart ”  Summary: (18+ ONLY FIC!!!) Winnie & Richie meet for the first time, have a conversation about their love for Taylor Swift over a cigarette while Carmen fights through a panic attack in his office. W/C: 3,000 A/N: Oh my WORD!! I am so excited for this chapter, I hope you all like it!! I’m hoping my Carmy and Richie are doin’ it for ya! I’m feeling this pacing for the moment, but I promise there will be a time jump at some point. I just want to have the relationships build a little and have you guys get to know Winnie outside of who she is with Carmy!!  Warnings for BTC: Abuse (Verbal, Emotional, Physical), Swearing, Self Harm, Cigarettes, Mentions of alcohol, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Disassociation, Negative self talk, bad coping skills. (0 smut though, wow!!) 

𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒸𝓀 𝒪𝓊𝓉 𝑀𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉!

Chapter 2 Here!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Don’t worry missy, mommy isn’t forgetting about you” I brush my hand over my cat, Persephone’s, supple fluffy white tail. “Jus’ give me a second ok?” I leaned into the mirror, finishing applying a mauve lip liner to the edges of my lips before filling them in with gloss. I give myself one final lookover, smoothing down my pale, buttercup-colored cardigan. I look like I should be freezing my ass off, but thanks to my fleece-lined nude tights- I am warm as can be. 

I head into the kitchen, Persephone weaving in and out of my legs as she usually did getting a giggle out of me. “Poor starving fluffy baby mm’?” I coo, grabbing her dish from the cabinet and emptying one of her favorite shrimp-flavored Friskies lil’ soups into the bowl, and setting it down for her. She dives right in and I scratch her head lovingly. “There, that is your bedtime snack ok? You got it early, so when it’s really time for bed later, don’t try and tell me I forgot somethin’ yea?” I go grab my ‘purse’ from the bedroom which was just the tote I’d gotten at Taylor Swift's concert a few months ago, as well as my white pleather platform boots, and sit in the entry hall, putting them on. 

I look at myself once more in the hall mirror, adjusting the white bow tying back my long locks that I’d curled. “Love y’ baby, Mama be home soon, be goods ok?” I called to Seph’ who was still chowing down in the kitchen. I slipped on my fur cape shawl-type garment over my shoulders and stepped out of my apartment. Locking my door, I headed back down a few blocks to The Bear. I put on my headphones as I walk, humming softly to the music blasting through them. 

As I approach the alleyway, I see light puffs of smoke coming out into the street. I hurried my pace, hoping it was Carmen out for a smoke before I showed up. But when I finally see around the corner, it's not Carmen, it’s some other man. Older, wearing a brown leather jacket. He nods in my direction and his lips move, his voice completely drowned out by the music that was still blasting in my ears. I pull my headphone away from my ear lightly “Sorry, wha’dya say?” I asked, taking them off and putting them in my bag.  

“I asked if you were in your Fearless Era? Nice sweater” he said and I smiled wide. “Shut up- you listen to Taylor Swift?” I walked up to him, leaning a few feet away on the brick wall. “Hell yeah! My daughter loves her, you saw the show too?” He takes another drag of his cigarette and I smile with an enthusiastic nod. “Mmhmm!!” I say proudly “Can you believe She played Death By A Thousand Cuts and Mad Woman?! Those are like, my favorites from those albums!” 

He blows the smoke past me and nods with a smile. “It really was fuckin’ fantastic. Broad puts on such a crazy show it was fire.” I looked closer and realized he was wearing chef's clogs “D’ you work here?” I questioned. Another nod “My cus’ owns it. You been?” He asked and my eyes widened before I let out a laugh, a real laugh. 

“I’m here for - for him!! Actually. He umm..invited me for a drink.” I said a shy smile dancing on my lips and my cheeks heating slightly.

“Holy shit” he laughs. “Holy fuckin’ shit” he shakes his head in disbelief. “What?” I giggle. “He has a secret girlfriend or somethin’?” I joked and that got another chuckle out of him. “No, no. Absolutely not- I just am- in shock and awe.” He snorts, taking another drag. 

“Why’s that? Am I ugly or somethin’?” I teased “oh no no quite the opposite actually, surprised he was able to talk to you. Kid gets all quiet around pretty girls.” I shrugged. “Hes….shy. But very funny.” I added. “Funny? Wow. I can’t wait to tell Sug’ t’morrow. Wait so how did you- how did he ask you out?” He questioned.

 I took a deep breath, a sheepish smile on my face “ok, so- he didn’t - he did ask, but he did it by making me ask. He was like ‘oh so you only go out with guys that have xyz’ and I was like ‘no you askin’ me out player?’ And he was like ‘nope but we can go out’ he’s such a dork” I smile at my feet and he snorts a laugh, rubbing his chin like Carmen does. 

“Yeee’ that’s Carmen’s style. He's very indirect- with girls that is. With family though- god. He’s too honest most of the time” I look back up at him. “So… how does this whole thing work, like- so Carmen is your cousin, and who is Sugar?” I asked “oh, yeah Sugars my cousin too, but she’s Carmy’s big-sis. That’s why if you decide to start comin’ ‘round more often don’t be surprised if you see her bossin’ him around even though he’s technically the boss” I giggle a bit. 

“Ohh no I saw it already. She’s- she can be scary. But she’s very pretty, so that makes up for it. She came in tellin’ him off about cups earlier” I said and he chuckles “Yeah. She was the torment today, it’s usually Carmen but he was ok for the most part. Except at the end of the day, oh! Shit!! Oh my god you” he said and I looked at him, confused. “Me?” I question, pointing at my chest. “You. Yeah you. That’s why he was sooo fuckin’ dead set on hauling everyone’s asses out the door at 9:40. Oh and that’s why he had Marcus deep clean the bar. I see.” He took another drag of his cigarette. A heat brushed my cheeks.

 Is he nervous to see me? 

I take my bottom lip between my teeth in thought. “How’d you meet?” He asked, bringing me back. My gaze meets his again, “ah- we met today? Actually? Well, I think I’ve seen him like- around, because I’ll take walks on my breaks so he’s probably been out smoking. But I was gonna come by the restaurant for lunch and he was in need of a light so, I gave him one. And then he found I work at the bookstore and figured that means I’m smart or something and with his pretty eyes he just… managed to rope me into editing your dessert menu” I said and he laughed. 

“That’s one thing about Carm’ this place?” He taps the brick with his finger “Is him, he will do anything to make something perfect about it. So I guess consider yourself smart since he trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you” he said and I blushed, my eyes meeting my boots again. 

Really like you. 

“So are all you Berzattos this charming, or is it just you and Carm?” I teased and he laughed, his head falling back “Oh, I like you” he pats my arm before stomping out the butt of his cigarette. “Here, you don’t have to walk all the way around - let me just let you in the kitchen” he dug keys out of his pocket, unlocking the large metal door. “Just realized, never got your name.” He said, opening the door and holding it ajar with his foot. 

“Winnie” I reply, and held out my hand. He shakes it, his hands were cold from the weather but his touch was gentle. “Richie” he said and I looked into the hall that leads into the kitchen, my heart beginning to hammer in my chest. “Well I’ll leave you kids at it. No fuckin’ in the kitchen it’s spotless “ he said, breaking the tension in my chest and earning a laugh from me. “No promises, know where he is?” I asked and he nodded with his chin down the hall “2nd door on the right, his office. He’s probably finishing up paperwork n’ shit.” He said and I gently kissed his cheek on my way through the door, a friendly gesture. 

“It was very nice to meet you, Richie.” I said sweetly, his cheeks were bright red. “You too, Winnie. Hopefully we see you around more- Carm can use the attitude adjustment you gave ‘em this afternoon a little more often.” He joked and my cheeks were the ones that now felt hot to the touch. 

He actually listened to what I’d said about being good. 

I nod “I’ll work on it” I said and he nodded with a smile, “night.” He said “g’night! Be safe!” I replied as he shut the door. 

The kitchen was completely silent, the only sound was the buzzing of the lights. It was literal night and day. The bookstore was always quiet unless we were doing story time for littles, and at night it was just as quiet. 

“Carmen?” I called out, my heels clicking as I made my way down the hall. “Hellooo? Hello hello?” I called, hoping he’d open up the office door. My heart picks up again, I feel it in my throat. Pounding, booming. I try to swallow the thick thumping, but it doesn’t help. I hear a hard thump against Carmen’s office door, causing my eyebrows to furrow. 

I get up to it, leaning in and I hear Carmen breathing, heavy and uncontrolled. I speak up, trying to find my confidence. He had invited me here. He wants me here. 

He trusted you to even suggest he does anything differently. That’s so much trust with him, he must really like you…

Richie’s words of encouragement bounce around in my mind. 

I took a deep breath, gently tapping on the door with my French tip. 

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go right back out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin-“ 

Carm POV;

**10 minutes before Winnie shows up**

I lean against the office door, eyes screwed shut, so tightly my forehead was beginning to cramp up as my hand shakes uncontrollably next to me, my wrist cracking with every violent flick. I was desperately trying to feel something, but my entire body was numb. My chest heaves up and down rapidly, tears burning my eyes and I roughly rub over my forehead and cheeks. Clawing at my hair and pulling tightly, to feel something, anything at all. “Fuckin - get it together, fuck!” I muttered, desperate, my nails digging into my forearm so hard that if I had any mind to me at this moment, I’d realize I was drawing blood. She would be here any second, the first - first girl, the only girl I have ever had the balls to ask out, and of course one of these - these - episodes.. Just had to come on - right now. I bump my head against the door in a futile attempt to ground myself, but it doesn’t work. I still feel fucking nothing. 

All of a sudden, per usual to this bullshit- I’m transported back to New York, to Noma, in the bathroom, hurling my guts up before my regular night shift. The pang in my stomach though, was merciful compared to the fucking hell on earth that place was.

 Then, I was on line, making Julianne cuts to a carrot for the 3rd time since the previous 2 were ‘obviously done by a blind ape’, or ‘disgustingly amateur’ as per what I can only presume is the words of the demonic human incarnate of every, single, sin, in any life, I’ve ever fucking lived, coming back in this one to haunt me in to my grave. 

 “You fucking stupid sack of shit” he seeths in my ear. “You are pure shit. Hear me? You are nothing motherfucker, you are a fucking shitstain on my name. I swear, at this rate? You get outta’ here? You are done, Hear me? DONE!!!” he barks in my ear so vociferous that it circumscribes the furthest corners of my mind, my knife slipping when I twitch slightly at the pain of the volume in my ear and it shreds into my skin, deep. 

I hissed at the sting before the fire of pain, my hand jerking away on instinct and dropping the knife. It clattered to the floor loudly and before I could react he grabbed the collar of my whites brutely, dragging me somewhere, my feet stumbling and tripping over each other as he towed me like a ragdoll, before he was violently throwing me to the floor of the bathroom in a pathetic, bleeding heap. “Fucking pussy” he growled, digging his chef's clog in my side just enough to knock the remaining wind out of my lungs. “Clean yourself up, pathetic moron. There's fucking work to be done, or did you overlook that? You slothful, utterly useless, piece of garbage.” The door to the bathroom slams, and I’m left alone, my blood leaking into the tile. At least he didn’t spit on me this time. 

My first thought isn’t if I need stitches, or of the unbelievable pain coursing through my hand and wrist - of course not, why would I ever think of myself first? Instead, it’s of the fact that my blood pool has already grown so large that it’s leaking into the grout of the restroom floor. And if it stains with the remnants of my stupid mistake, I am fucked, done, and utterly screwed. I scramble up, wincing lightly as I try to take a breath, a sharp ache going through my left lung where his shoe had dug in. 

Suddenly, I’m ripped through the walls of space and time, the soft hum of the heater meeting my ears, as the sound of the sweetest voice I’d ever heard makes its way through the door, She’s here.

“Carmen? Carrrm? Ya’ in there? Hellooooo? I hear you breathing in there… Ok, well guess what- I just met your cousin Richie, and apparently? He listens to Taylor Swift too. So, unless you open up this door? I’ll like- totally go out there and flirt with him - and, you’ll positively 100% lose your super-duper smokin’ hot date to your awesome, super friendly cousin- I also brought my book since you were just sooo interested earlier. Maybe you can take some tips from the bat-boys for your flirting skills, handsome.” 

Her voice was like a tether, gently tugging me back into my body. It’s as if my soul snaps back into my physical self all at once, her words ringing through my mind like soothing white noise, not registering a single thing she’s saying, but relishing in the fact my feet were on the ground, and I was beginning to be able to feel them there again. I try to find focus on the sound of her sweet, sweet voice.

My face finally relaxes, and I force my eyes open. I’m back- Back at the bear. I let out a shaking sigh of relief, my entire body was trembling. Blood felt like it was pooling back into every one of my limbs in a tsunami. I suddenly felt so heavy, like I could just sink into the floor in a heap and die there.

“J-J-J” I stutter out, biting down on my cheek so hard I felt a sting of pain and the taste of metal filled my mouth, so embarrassed that I’m succumbing to my old habits, especially in front of her. Forcing a deep breath into my lungs, finding my head, find your head, find it, find it Carmen. 

I inhaled so deeply it felt for a moment like my lungs could pop like balloons, before focusing all of my energy into letting out the breath as controlled and light as I could, which finally centered me enough to be able to find my tongue. “Just One sec. M’ sorry” I managed to get out, rubbing over my face roughly to get rid of the remnants of any stray tears, before wiping my hands on my shirt and turning to open the door. 

Before my mind and my….brain? Could process my actions, I was pulling the door open, pulling her into my chest, and nuzzling my face into her neck. I held her to me tightly, as if we were hanging off the very edge of the earth, and she was my only tether to reality. I took a deep breath, my knees feeling weaker at the intoxicating scent of her, Jasmine, rose, orange? Maybe grapefruit…and…Honey.  

“Thank y’ for comin’, Winnie, I need a fuckin’ drink, now.” I mutter quietly into her supple skin.

Read Chapter 4 Here!

[halfhissandwich]

What your favorite Sanders Sides episode says about you because I’m binging the series rn and I wanna do this. All of this is a joke, I’m just being silly

My True Identity: Wow look at the fun little identity crisis series! Would be a shame if this goes downhill, right? Yeah, that’s what denial of the inevitable sounds like.

Way Too Adult: I’m willing to bet you’re a fan of the Unsympathetic Patton stuff. Just the vibe I get.

Taking on Anxiety!: I’m so sorry for the atrocities that have occurred in this fandom regarding Virgil. All you wanted was a sassy little emo boy and the fandom made him the embodiment of uwu, I’M SO SORRY-

A New Year of Lying to Myself… In Song!: You just like the song. I feel you, I like the song too.

The Dark Side of Disney!: We meet again, prinxiety shippers. :)

I’m in a Disney show!: Your favorite character is C!Thomas.

The Mind vs. The Heart: I won’t say you’re a logicality shipper… but if they got married, you definitely wouldn’t complain.

Dad’s Big Game Day Tips: … Daddy issues. I’m sorry, it needed to be said.

Alone on Valentines Day: I don’t have a joke here, but I’ll just say that my first thought was “aromantic”, so take that as you will.

Losing My Motivation: Oh my gosh. We get it. Logan is wonderful. That’s the 5th PowerPoint you’ve made today. Please just let me go home.

Q&A: You want an updated one. Me too, buddy, me too.

Am I Original: Going back and rewatching this video after POF makes you cry every single time.

My Negative Thinking: Hey analogical shippers, how are you doing? Still starving? … anyway let’s do some more logicality and prinxiety, shall we? :)

Growing Up: You’re everything that the people who’s favorite episode is “Losing My Motivation” are, but for Patton, and you don’t understand why the fandom thinks he’s kind of problematic.

Making Some Changes: *obnoxious chanting* LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAMP LAM-

Becoming A Cartoon: … I won’t say anything. I won’t crush your dreams. I’ll just observe, smile, nod and just move on.

Accepting Anxiety: I don’t blame you, a lot of work was put into that episode. By the way you know you can ship prinxiety platonically, right? You can like it platonically without liking it romantically, I-I hope you know that-

Fitting In: You’re actively choosing to ignore drama online and I’m impressed with that, also you are aware that it’s messed up to bash Thomas for making a Harry Potter video 6 years ago, IT WAS SIX YEARS AGO AND HE LIKED HARRY POTTER, DON’T YOU DARE CANCEL THOMAS FOR THAT-

Moving On: Sorry, I’d write a joke for this one but I’m too busy crying-

12 Days Of Christmas: holy wow- no thoughts, head empty. You saw the colorful and festive little Christmas special and you actually said “:D” out loud.

Can Lying be Good: THEATER KIDS, ASSEMBLE!

Why do we get out of bed in the morning?: You probably said one thing in support of logince at one point in your entire life and you got chased with pitchforks by the prinxiety shippers and then Roman started bullying Logan, I am so sorry for this fandom’s sins :(

Crofters the musical: You’re basically Roman in this episode. “But look at him now! (Cue Logan chugging jam like a fucking madman) He’s just so COOL!”

Learning New Things About Ourselves: Your motto is “angst doesn’t exist if I can’t see it.”

Embarrassing Phases: I… completely forgot this episode existed. This is your favorite? I’m not judging your taste or anything, but what’s with your taste?

Selfishness v. Selflessness: Your favorite design? Janus. Your favorite personality? Janus. Your favorite ship? A Janus ship. Your favorite side? … Logan.

Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts: Remus’ abandonment issues aren’t canon. But if I say that too loud, then you people might stab me, so nevermind.

Are There Healthy Distractions: Apparently this episode’s plot of Thomas forgiving his previously homophobic friend is an analogy for Thomas forgiving Virgil for having been a dark side. That’s the connection! I missed it too! I thought it was a silly Frozen episode too! IT’S ABOUT VIRGIL!

Putting Others First: … guys, you can stop fighting the moceit vs roceit war, neither of them will ever be canon. ALSO HOLY WOW PATTON IS A FROG AND HE’S RIPPED FOR SOME REASON, WHAT THE FU-

Flirting With Social Anxiety: Your number one headcanon for the season 2 finale is a direct Frozen quote where Patton is like “Thomas you can’t marry a man you just met” and Roman is like “you can if it’s true love! >:0” (also hi again prinxiety shippers!)

Working Through Intrusive Thoughts: You have anger issues and you relate to Logan. Or you’re just happy to see the silly, goofy, demented Duke with fandom-inflicted abandonment issues!

[crowtrobotx]

Also i noticed that Wintersberg lovers create similar posts. "Heisenberg has eyes only for Ethan! Why the hell do you think he would fuck you?" Oh boy…There are so much aggression, disgust and negativity in one post towards the people who just don't share their "Heisenberg loves Ethan" headcanon! That's just unbelievable. If, for example, i posted something like "General Wintersberg headcanons: Heisenberg leaves Ethan for a woman" those unhinged folks' asses would get exploded in a second. I am sure they wouldn't like that. (And then i would just go "Hey come on, guys! Why are you getting offended? I'm just making fun of something you like! It's just a joke! It's not that serious!) But i think none of us should do that. None of us should copy their moronic deed! Instead let's just leave them alone and keep enjoying ourselves because we have every right to.

(Sorry I completely left this in drafts and forgot about it bc I have the object permanence of a baby)

I totally agree on both points! As I’ve mentioned before, if I posted my less than positive takes on that ship - which, ironically, almost all stem from my interactions with the actual fucking people who are over the top feral about it and have less to do with its actual content - in the main tags I would get swarmed by people rightfully upset that I’d deliberately tried to ruin their fun. But for some reason it’s “just harmless complaining/a joke” when the opposite happens. How pathetic.

I truly don’t get how these people can post (sometimes repeatedly) about how women are wrong and stupid for having hobbies and then respond when called out like “🙄 saying someone is gay isn’t an attack on women, wow, you must be a crazy person who needs to log off.” My brother in Christ, you are the one posting about how angry it makes you that the girls are touching “your” toys. Trying to pull the Uno reverse card like “actually I’m not a misogynist, you’re homophobic and delusional for being hurt that I said something nasty directed at you” is not the flex you think it is and YOU might indeed be the one who needs to log off if you’re instigating this shit.

Anyway. Yeah, as tough as it is for my Scorpio ass to not launch myself at these people for being dipshits, I am taking the route of “I’m just going to have to get more annoying in the tags and give him more girlfriends out of spite” lmao.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2022 MOVIE OF THE WEEK #33

disenchanted. i......have been avoiding this review since literally months ago because just thinking about reviewing this movie makes me sad and tired. if you loved this movie, which i think some people must have because i’ve seen the occasional gifs from it on my dash, feel free to skip this. it’ll go behind a cut, because i suspect it’s gonna get long.

(spoiler alert: it got ridiculously long. how did i have five thousand words to say about this? and if anyone besides leander reads this i’ll be shocked but that’s fine cuz they were the one encouraging me to make it through this rant and if they hadn’t i definitely would have given up even trying a long time ago.)

and it is pretty much universally negative, because i could not have been more looking forward to this sequel featuring literally my favorite disney (noncanon but still mine) princess and it not only let me down (as sequels tbh do a lot so that’s not even surprising) but it sincerely broke my heart. 

in a ‘wow i’m being really overdramatic about a disney movie’ sort of way, but it’ll make more sense after i explain it, i promise. you had to be there, i think, to care as much as i do, and only @actuallylukedanes was, so it was also pretty convenient that i ended up watching this with them when they were gonna watch it with their partner and invited me to join. cuz they felt the same way i did about the sequel, which is how i knew i was not overreacting. 

it was also leander who advised me to start posting completed reviews of other 2022 movies since i was stuck on this one, even though i never posted them out of order before. (i ended up realizing in january that i totally forgot a movie from 2022, so it’s good i wasn’t as obsessed with perfect chronology anyway.)

the first warning sign i had with this movie was honestly its release. they had been talking about an enchanted sequel for so long that i had stopped hoping for one, and then when it was really happening they wouldn’t even put it in theaters!! i was so pissed off about that, because enchanted felt like a magical (pun intended) experience for me in 2007. 

it came out exactly on my birthday, when i turned 23, and @actuallylukedanes​ and i saw it in the theater to celebrate. we lived in utah then, and were happy rather than homeless, and we paid for the movie using a card that had a ‘reward’ system like a lottery where they told you they would at some random time choose a single purchase you made, and reimburse you for it. out of everything we paid for with that card, it was the tickets to enchanted that they made free.

and i couldn’t have been more excited to see enchanted back then, because it was a real live musical, and those have always been rarer than i wish they were, and the cast was ridiculously great. long before amy adams was making bigger movies, she had played tara’s cousin on buffy and a memorable one-episode character on charmed, and i had just always loved her an unreasonable amount like i had been waiting for her to be a movie star. plus i had discovered wicked in college and dove deep into other idina menzel musicals as well as every one of her solo albums (and singles that weren’t sold anywhere, which i downloaded illegally because that is called devotion) and was just generally obsessed with her for years. 

and then there was patrick dempsey, reliable dreamy star of grey’s anatomy (which i gave up on quickly but he was good in) and james marsden of the x-men trilogy i had watched a zillion times. (his character was not one i liked in that, but he was great as a comedic part of this.) i had grown up with susan sarandon and wasn’t used to her as a villain but she brought just the right level of Too Much, and her henchman was perfectly cast. they somehow managed to even make the child in the story not annoying, which can be really rare, especially when she has an actual role--but she’s great. 

the mix of animation and live-action was really fun, and when giselle’s dress goes from cartoon to sparkly 3d it was so swoony. truly like a disney fantasy sort of moment, they brought so much to life. and they did so even where it shouldn’t have worked! the basic plot of ‘two couples aren’t meant to be so they switch partners amongst themselves and then it’s perfect’ is not one i like in other movies, but here i’m just like, yeah absolutely, dance with patrick dempsey in your pretty dress, and let idina menzel go live in a fairy tale. 

but in addition to all of that, and the catchy, catchy music, what i really, truly loved about enchanted, and why it was one of my all time favorite movies to put on that i never got sick of (along with mamma mia and a few others, i really like musicals okay), is how much it turned out that i identified with giselle. how much she not only made sense to me, even as she was supposed to be this wide-eyed disney princess, but how she gave me language for things i was still figuring out, and i got so attached to that.

i was 23 years old. i had left home less than two years earlier, and i didn’t know i was autistic yet, let alone bipolar/anxious/adhd/disordered eating all knotted together. i hadn’t begun thinking about what it meant to be ‘developmentally disabled,’ and how unprepared that made me for adulthood, independence or being in a relationship. I had just leaped into all those things, and i wasn’t necessarily all that good at any of them. 

but there was giselle, singing her way through a world she didn’t understand how to navigate either, and it was okay because there was somebody who loved her for her exact weird self and a child who needed her. (substitute cats for child and you see where i’m coming from.) she was relentlessly optimistic but also cursed by forces outside her control, and she was full of creativity. 

my absolute favorite moment that giselle has in the whole movie, when it comes to why it was important to me, is when she experiences anger. at first she can’t even name it, and then there’s a kind of joy she finds in it, in having a new feeling...in having the FREEDOM to feel that difficult feeling, and not need things to be perfect all the time. until i saw that scene, i had never realized that my childhood had trained me to not be angry--before i was even conscious that had happened. and once i saw that scene, i started to wonder if maybe anger was something i was allowed to feel, after all. 

i think if you’re not me, or you didn’t know me at 21 (a fragile adorable unstable bby desperate to be rescued from my life), it might be hard to understand that, how i didn’t just love giselle for being giselle, but loved her for being the most me a character played by amy adams could be. 

up until i fell in love, and was loved in return (my only real wish thanks to moulin rouge), i collected tv and movie characters, made little lists of them, and they were always the ones i wanted to be like, ones i wanted to grow into. usually the snarky best friends, the deadpan wits, the ones who pined but never got the guy. (bby me didn’t think anything but ‘guy’ was an option.) i didn’t spend time claiming characters that were like me, that made me feel seen, until i was older. (i couldn’t, when i didn’t know who ‘me’ was.) so giselle felt like one of the first ones, with her autistic literalism and trust in humanity and her joy in everything. 

then flash forward fifteen years and they’re continuing the story. even more amazingly, they’ve brought back the whole central cast (minus the child actor, who i assumed they replaced because New Morgan sings and dances, but i didn’t look it up or anything). idina is much more famous now thanks to her frozen work and of course amy adams is amy freaking adams now, nominated but never oscared, but they both came back. the direct-to-streaming release worried me, but i saw a trailer and the movie looked way better than i kind of expected, so i was excited after all. and as mentioned above, i settled in to watch it with my family. 

^^^^and that is where this review left off, almost a year ago--because it was still so hard for me to wrap my brain and my heart around writing it. but at this point i’ve reviewed all the other movies i watched in 2022, AND i’ve watched almost 20 movies this year and reviewed most of them, and those reviews are just sitting in my drafts waiting for me to post them once i finish this. so here goes:

this movie was bad. obviously that’s a personal opinion or value judgement or whatever, but like...it was really, really bad. it bore no resemblance to the original and painfully reminded me how disney’s moviemaking these days is so soulless when it comes to trying to squeeze more money out of its existing IP. and i can handle fairy tale/princess modernizations that aren’t all that impressive (idina was in one of those as well, cinderella), but even those had parts that i liked or that were fun once i was grading on a curve for the whole movie. i can’t say the same for this one.

first of all, we’ve skipped time since the original, which makes sense, since everybody’s older. but nothing about the time progression makes sense, because offscreen fifteen years have passed, making amy adams 48 when this movie came out. giselle and robert have just had a newborn whose royal inheritance is what leads to the movie’s plot--at best, i guess we can assume amy was supposed to be playing giselle a lot younger than she, the actress, was. or maybe her andalasian genes make her immune to fertility averages? 

either way, though, that still doesn’t explain morgan. who in addition to becoming literally a different person (and i hope they only replaced her because the original actress opted out, because she was so great in the first movie i’d resent disney for dumping her just to make the new one sing and dance, or whatever other justifications they might have) is a teenager now. Original Morgan was nine years old in enchanted, or the actress was, anyway. if we assume they meant for Original Morgan to be only seven or eight as a character, that still doesn’t explain a now-high-schooler morgan in this movie. it has been literally twice as many years in real time as it would have to have been in this movie world for morgan to be this age! and unfortunately for the movie, it’s mainly about adults, who have aged the fifteen years you would expect. so that’s ridiculous.

but anyway. somehow, all the adults from enchanted look fifteen years older but morgan’s a teen, and her parents have had a shiny new baby. idina’s character moved with prince james marsden to his world, and literally everyone is depressed now except prince james marsden (and presumably the baby). giselle sees a billboard and decides that’s a plausible reason to uproot her whole family from the city she fell in love with and that the others were from even before meeting her...to move to the suburbs. 

at first, because of the impression i got from the trailer, i thought she would be moving to a perfect-seeming little enclave that was secretly evil, like a magical stepford or something, and that it would turn her evil and throw her family into peril. but the real plot is not that creative. it’s literally just the three of them moving to an ordinary suburb that (gasp!) doesn’t automatically fix their lives. instead, robert has a slog of a commute now, and in their own ways, giselle and morgan both struggle to fit in with their new local peers.

everything establishing this movie’s setup baffled me because it felt so random and flimsy, when the original was a beautiful sendup of classic disney tropes that managed to be subversive but still magical. i referred earlier to giselle deciding on a plausible reason, and i felt the same way about disney and this sequel: it felt like they decided this concept was a plausible reason to bring the cast back together, mix in a few new actors, and try to make money off the result (in this case by locking it inside their streaming service as though that would force new subscribers to disney+ instead of what i’m guessing actually happened, having less viewers for the movie than they would’ve gotten in theaters--cuz even i, the biggest fan of the original, wouldn’t have subscribed just to watch it).

but their ‘plausible’ setup is therefore that everybody’s feeling a bit meh in new york city. robert’s not excited about his job, morgan’s a sullen teenager, and giselle misses the days when everything felt magical and new and perfect. instead of recognizing that they have a freaking newborn, which i may not have experienced personally but have certainly heard is a difficult phase of life (especially the first time, for giselle), and that they simultaneously have a teenager, which anybody who’s ever been or met a teenager can tell you is a difficult phase of life for both the teen and their parents--heck, instead of just going to THERAPY when new york city is one of the few places it may still be easier to find access than everywhere else these days--they move to a random place where they know no one for truly no reason.

the movie wants us to believe that the reason is giselle seeing a billboard and believing its promise (or still being unusually literal?) but neither of those makes any sense because even if we had reason to believe that giselle hadn’t learned anything or grown in the last mysterious number of years and would truly treat a billboard like a promise rather than an advertisement (and i don’t think what we see of her in the sequel supports that idea) it’s still robert she’s married to now, and we know he’s always been someone who lovingly but firmly points that stuff out. 

morgan’s unhappy because she’s a teenager, she doesn’t actually want to move, and as much as robert loves giselle, i don’t believe at all that he would just let her have her fantasy of a fresh start without injecting reality into the situation--so i think the real explanation is that both robert and giselle, for their own reasons, are desperate enough to try it despite knowing it won’t be a magic fix. but then idina menzel and prince james marsden (i should remember their character names but i really don’t at the moment) pop into their new, still-unhappy-just-in-a-different-time-zone, lives and make everything even worse. way to go guys!

continuing the flimsy plot setups, they’re visiting to give a gift to the new baby, to basically proclaim how special she is and make morgan feel like she’s neither special nor giselle’s ‘real’ daughter. giselle is thrilled by the gift from her childhood home and her former prince remains as hilarious as ever (the acting in this movie is good, they’re just not given as much to work with; ‘campy humor’ was the only element they could successfully recreate for some reason). but nancy is clearly already Over It, the former new yorker not exactly as enchanted with prince james marsden as she used to be now that she has to live with his personality 24/7. 

you might expect this to be woven in with the central family’s ennui in some way, but you would be disappointed--that general intermittent eyerolly energy is never directly addressed and as far as we know by the end of the movie, she’s still with him. and i guess will remain so forever? because that’s the rule when you choose a fairy tale life?? even though giselle’s story was entirely about leaving fairy tales behind when they weren’t what she wanted???

maybe we’re supposed to read nancy’s reactions as like, lovable occasional annoyance at How Very Much her guy can be sometimes. but it didn’t come across that way to me; it seemed intentionally to mirror the dissatisfaction giselle and robert were struggling with. i could have been giving them too much credit there, i guess, in assuming deliberate parallels. 

but the real point is that the adults were unhappy in the city, and now, in the suburbs, they’re still not very happy. after the gift-givers go back to andalasia, giselle makes a wish using her baby’s magic present, wanting to make their family into a fairy tale...and she gets her wish. morgan goes from a strugglng teen to a cheerful girl again, running around singing and eventually having to be the savior of her family. robert goes from a commuting lawyer to a wannabe monster slayer, and giselle slowly transforms into an evil stepmother--while the women in town who’ve been snubbing her turn into an actual villain with henchwomen in tow.

from then on, it only gets more ridiculous. amy adams is an immensely talented actor, and like i said, i’ve loved her since she was on tv. but she is not doing her best work here, switching between normal giselle and evil stepmother giselle in response to a chiming clock in a way that reminded me of one of those over-the-top acts where a guy hypnotizes people and then can trigger them to be a chicken or something. it was just so over the top, and lacked any of the emotional depth the original movie brought to her character that made me care.

and poor robert, it was clear, they did not know what to do with. a convoluted exchange with prince james marsden before the wish created circumstances where he was carrying a sword around on his commute. that, i’m sure, was supposed to help make it seem like it made sense for him to become a giant fighter or whatever. but really, they had a sequel to make in which he had to be there because he was her happily ever after in the first one, except now robert isn’t a love interest anymore, there’s no drama between them--and the actor was never meant to be a major contributor to the musical part of these movies, so what’s the point of his story? to run around looking for monsters, totally separate, and mostly unnecessary, it turns out.

the fairy tale transformations mean that we go from watching giselle being sad and hurt in response to morgan’s attitude to morgan’s being mistreated by her now-evil stepmother--neither of which is fun. in giselle’s intermittent ‘good’ moments, she tries to encourage morgan to be free of her and get help, and eventually morgan does end up in andalasia with nancy (she’s also a cartoon at that point, i think). nancy helps her understand what might fix things, and the fact that it’s up to their teenage daughter (whose complaints the whole time have honestly seemed the most reasonable to me compared to her parents’ vague ennui) to save not just her own family but both worlds from doom...it doesn’t seem at all fair. but okay. 

the solution for making giselle good again involves morgan’s memories and singing and the idea that with the power of love it’ll all be fine, but what i remember most about it is that the scene is really just a vehicle for idina menzel to get her own song. which, duh--i was very disappointed that she didn’t sing in the original, and given the success of frozen, it would’ve been crazy for them not to showcase her more this time. 

but the song she’s given? it’s so bad. so very bad. the others i was watching this movie with spent a significant portion of the song time mocking it, and i couldn’t blame them. at a certain point, it just devolves into idina belting the words ‘love power’ over and over and over. you know how some words or phrases become completely meaningless if you say them too much? this definitely felt like that, like the big drama’s ‘solution’ was flimsy to begin with, and then they forced a song into it that wasn’t even a good song, and got idina to sing it. she’s so much better than that! it genuinely made me wonder if she has some kind of disney contract that left her stuck dealing with this.

somehow thanks to morgan, though, giselle does stop being evil by the end--i don’t remember exactly how that scene plays out so i doubt it matters too much--and ending the sort of wish curse she inflicted on everybody means they go back to living in a normal suburb. the woman who briefly became her villain nemesis apologizes in a ‘sometimes i’m a lot oops’ way, and giselle is just like ‘hey, me too, no big deal.’ 

and this brings me to my two biggest problems with the movie, outside of how much it felt like it was trying to destroy any love i still held for the original. 

this movie has no real villain. unlike the first one, where susan sarandon was camping it up in a delightfully appropriate way, and was defeated in the end...this movie falls into the same hole that so many New Disney Movies are determined to, for unknown reasons. we can’t have classic straight-up evil anymore; our heroes have to instead be facing antagonists that are less specific or even less corporeal. it’s family! who of course will no longer be in conflict by the end, and don’t actually need to be ‘defeated.’ or it’s emotions! and once they can be accepted rather than avoided then things will be okay again. 

i’m not saying that’s a bad thing, in general. i love encanto, and i thought turning red and inside out were great. but when you’re dealing with a now-franchise whose original style was to reference and gently mock and lovingly rework classic disney tropes...why would you toss that out completely and make a sequel that feels like the other movies disney makes now? why can’t people appreciate that beloved movies are beloved for a reason and you can’t just slap the ‘brand name’ on whatever you want and act like it’s just as good?

but yeah. this movie decided to have no villain by way of having two villains, both of whom were only temporarily villainous due to indirect magic and who became normal again once it stopped. they bear no real responsibility for being villains, because after all, they aren’t really. post-movie, it seems like they may even become friends! all’s well that ends well. 

which really annoyed me, lol, because it felt so incredibly pointless once i knew that was how it ended. our main character accidentally makes herself evil, makes somebody else evil, has to be saved from being evil while fighting the other evil, and the grand conclusion is that they just finish back where they started? how is that a story that moves forward, let alone a good story with some kind of point or even just a good-versus-evil win, fairy tale style? 

it’s like the main conflict of the movie is created by them having problems, but then the problems they were having...are solved because they’re no longer in conflict. which brings me to my second issue with the movie’s ending: apparently the ultimate lesson of this follow up to enchanted is that growing up means learning to settle, rather than believing in happily ever afters.

despite the cheerful singing at the end of the movie that tries to make us believe it’s just as great an ending as enchanted got, i was so underwhelmed and disappointed and tbh freaked out, that they reached that conclusion. the story we were given was giselle and robert and morgan are a family now just like they wanted but they’re all unhappy, so they move out of the city to seek happiness elsewhere. and it fixes nothing which instead spirals giselle into cursing the town but in the end everybody’s okay and there are no consequences and nobody’s mad at giselle cuz she didn’t mean to do it...so she and robert and morgan commit to trying even harder to be happy in their new suburban life.

and all i can wonder is, why is that the lesson? why is that the right place to end up? why couldn’t they go back to the city and figure out their problems there, since clearly suburbia wasn’t a fix on its own? there didn’t seem to be a real reason for requiring giselle, who loved the sparkly harsh city she landed in years ago, to become a suburban mom--or for uprooting morgan, or making robert become a ‘small town practice’ kind of guy. 

i guess what grates on me about it is that it has such a hallmark christmas movie vibe of just assuming their real happy ending would naturally be escaping the city, no matter how central it was to their original story and lives. whatever their deeper issues were that made them unhappy in the city, they haven’t addressed those by the end of the movie; they’ve just somewhat improved the issues that moving TO this new place piled on. 

therefore my logical brain goes, you were unhappy and tried to fix it by moving but that only made things worse. why wouldn’t you reverse the making-it-worse part by going back, and then continue trying to figure out how to fix it? i just don’t get it. and i may be kind of offended by it, because the giselle who i have always adored is a completely different person in this movie, and not because of some wish curse.

she’s older, and sad, and it’s like nothing about her life is fun anymore...and maybe there could’ve been a way to craft an interesting story out of that, though i don’t know what it would be off the top of my head. but we don’t get whatever that could’ve been. and we don’t get a sequel about our faves from enchanted having more hijinks and having a to fight a new tropey villain, in the style of the first one. what we get is a story about everybody from the first one not liking their lives and having to fight the fallout from that and then concluding that hey, at least the world didn’t end so they must be better off than they thought, time to make the best of it. it deeply depressed me.

and look--i’m not saying i demand happy endings always. i don’t even require happy endings mostly! but unless there is some requirement i’m not aware of that post-pandemic we are no longer allowed happy endings at all, this was not the movie world to bring back just to say ‘the best you can hope for is meh. good luck.’ giselle and everybody else deserved better.

i will say that there was one thing about this movie that i liked. exactly one thing, sadly, or at least only one i clearly remember. i was really excited about the casting before this came out, because i love jayma mays, and maya rudolph is reliably good always. once i actually saw the movie, i was bummed that jayma mays and the other henchwoman didn’t have roles worth including, but maya rudolph was as good as i expected. 

and since this movie was such a mess, she also just really stood out. she’s a ‘can do it all’ kind of performer, in a way that makes it look easy, and i feel like that’s the difference between amy adam’s background in a lot of dramatic roles and maya rudolph’s background in snl. they’re both super talented and both have range, but are a good fit for different things because of that. 

so there is one song in this movie and one performance (cuz it’s the performance of it that makes it good) that i genuinely enjoyed. it’s basically a face off between the two not-actually-villains, kind of like ‘anything you can do i can do better’ but sillier and maximum camp. it’s the only part where it felt like that was what the movie was deliberately aiming for, and both actresses are fully going for it while sometimes we’re watching them parallel on splitscreen...it was ridiculous but in an entertaining rather than cringe-inducing way. 

so that part is great, but also highlights even more what this movie could have been. if only they had let maya rudolph be a proper villain, the leader of a trio of new antagonists for our faves to face, that would’ve been potentially a great movie. she could have gone evil after getting her hands on the baby’s wand, then gone down fighting after the family consulted with their andalasian friends on how to deal with magically corrupted humans. the ending could have been more interesting with bigger stakes than ‘everyone survives and decides to play nice.’ 

heck, i could write that version of that movie! lol. but i won’t. because it would probably necessitate rewatching disenchanted and that is something i never ever want to do. that was a piece of my heart you fucked with, you jerks. and i’m gonna stay mad.

[quinn-fucks-shit-up]

watching the new atla and I have a couple of things to say

(for reference I am 4 mins into episode 6 and writing this while my sister has a snack break)

let's start with the positives:

zuko and iroh are spot on, iroh takes until the second ep for him to (as my sister said) "feel his oats" but otherwise their dynamic is spot on with some excellent acting all things considered

their scenes also have the most quality added to the show, with their flashbacks being genuinely emotional and believable, 10/10

jet + the freedom fighters, though in the wrong place, are also very well portrayed, helping katara and endangering innocents when needed.

ozai has also had a lot added to him, as we get to actually see his manipulation tactics at work with Azula, it makes him more effective and intimidating

koh the face stealer is genuinely scary

a round of applause for the costume designers and music writers, they really knocked it out of the park

cabbages

unfortunately, the negatives will be a longer list:

the acting from most of the characters is piss poor, I mean really shoddy, as in I have seen sokkas facial expression change once and his humour has fallen flat every. single. time.

the changes they have made to the plot have been unnecessary, confusing, and have actually muddied the timeline to the point that they have conveyed less information than the cartoon with the same amount of time

don't even get me started on how they slaughtered bumi

it lacked the scenes necessary to show aangs immaturity, (riding elephant koi, etc.) so his character development is kinda missing

katara also is so passive as to be unrecognisable from the source material, her anger is just not there, and her bossiness is non-existent, it's like they forgot to give her flaws and in doing so rendered her more 2 dimensional than when she was literally a drawing

I've already complained about sokka, but I need to reiterate, he is Not Funny, the sarcasm comes across as mean spirited but without that "pointless mysoginy" the writers were so keen to get rid of he doesn't have any chance to grow out of it. also they made his and Suki's relationship kinda weird

it seems like the dynamics of katara and sokka have switched?? like instead of her acting like their mum, he acts like their dad? odd.

the character designs are weird, it's a complete toss up how accurate they'll be, minor characters like the mechanist and June will be almost scarily accurate, but the same grace is not provided to integral characters like Zuko, Azula, Mai and Zhao, strange.

oh wow Zhao. wtf did they do to Zhao?? they took The most intimidating villain and made him utterly forgettable that's what. they made him downright respectful. geez.

I'll reblog with more info when I finish.

[shit-talk-turner]

I don’t necessarily think mods agree with every bullshit anon says. I know you don’t. But you choose what’s gonna be the topic of the day and it’s highley opinion-forming. (mostly negative) You don’t say much and still influence others. Provoke and wait. Share and get other people to spread it. „Smart”. That way it’s never your fault. „Oopsie”. No remorse whatsoever even though you’re responsible for a lot of weird comments on a different platform and some really creepy profiles PRETENDING to be „fan accounts”. (they’re getting blocked for a reason, another long story) Because being annoying on here is not enough. But what can you do? Admit it? It’s easier to shift the blame and call people crazy. Oversensitive, of course. Looks like someone who cares is a big turn off you. 😜 Into bad boys much? Get well soon, honey. (Sorry, bad joke, we don’t romanticize it here, I know….unless…)Anyway. A lot of blogs are problematic but this one is the final boss? Probably the most active one? Not sure. But it’s famous for sure. Even for people who forgot Tumblr existed. Apparently it’s not just „a shit chat” here?

Manipulating younger, more naive fans it’s easy. A bunch of fake screenshots is all you need. Little minions will eat that shit up and spread it for you.

What a hero. Girl „ended” racism but invented a whole new genre of misogyny. Did we just end old misogyny to replace it with a modern, more subtle, yet still effective one? Like it never went away, you just got better at hiding it. Eh. If you want others to grow and apologize for their mistakes, how about you do something different once and use your platform for good? Boo. Boring 🤣 I know I’m crazy for asking that. You’re clearly way more influential than you claim to be. So own it. How about one thing that will make someone smile, for a change. SINCE YOU’RE SO OBSSESED WITH SMILES. Such a waste of potential. Smh.

Also tell me, how is it that you’re always against taking it from here to harass people on other platforms? And little minions still come back here with „Hey. I sent them a DM.” LOL! Saying that only out of guilt and then again, my personal fav: „I didn’t advise that.” Wow, thank you but it’s clearly not working and you’re aware of it as it’s been proven many times before and that, right here, makes you a part of the problem. Btw. Being able to read someone like an open book by one facial expression would be a great superpower. I absolutely agree! I guess we all dream of that one from time to time. We can joke about it, that’s for sure. But if you take joking/humor to like, seriously diagnose? a „toxic relationship”, now that’s something I’d call a stretch. Sorry, I laugh every time you say but they’re just „famous people”so it’s okay - that’s even worse. Maybe with people you actually know in real life you’d be at least slightly more accurate, so you’re only digging yourself a deeper hole, eh. Now say you don’t do that, look up the comments some people leave and tell me you never „kinda agreed” on that here. Yup. I’m not saying this blog is the worst thing that happened to humanity just because I say some things here 🤣 Yeah, there are bigger problems. Lol. I think the root of the issue here is that a lot of you are desperate for answers of things you’ll never get answers for which only leads to frustration. :(

A friend somewhere posts a comment and you’re all like „it has to be trolling”, if a friendly, wholesome, completely harmless comment is trolling to you - then what the fuck is this? Everything that’s NOT cruel to her can’t be real, smh. If you wanna troll, make it clear it’s a science fiction blog then? We are all hypocrites to some degree, yeah. I’ve made peace with that long ago. But the level here…. PS. delete your little #alexturnerwouldyoumarryme cute, innocent hashtag from all the „fan” accounts you have while you still can. Cause who knows(JOKE) maybe, one day, you’ll date him(no) and his whole fanbase will try to cancel you for it. 🤣Well, not cancel-cancel but them twisting it and using it against you at some point is inevitable. I think you often use this one here to prove…dishonesty? Whatever. All of the above is just the tip of the iceberg 🤣 TLDR.

So this is the last time we’re going to post your mania rants so if you want to continue this discussion we can do it off anon or you can start your own shit talk blog about us to post your manifestos. We appreciate that you think we’re the big bad boss of the AM underground or something, but we really don’t have that much power. There is no manipulation or cancelling happening here, just gossiping. We don’t care what other peoples opinions are as long as we can all play nice and keep it to some light hearted shit talk. We do not hate Louise like you seem to think we do and I guess you missed how often we do defend her (or delete unnecessarily hateful, disgusting asks about her). It seems you are genuinely misunderstanding a lot that is happening here or mistaking us for fans elsewhere or accounts elsewhere and are clearly having some kind of obsessive episode where we are concerned. We recommend you step back and do something else with your time because this is absolutely not healthy.

[victoriansecret]

Poetry

Between the ages of roughly 17-22 I wrote poetry extensively. This was in the midst of the worst period of my life, where I was horrifically depressed and living alone as a hermit, became deeply agoraphobic and would go months without even stepping out onto the porch. Suffice it to say a lot of what I wrote was bad, but I do think there are some gems in there, and it's surprisingly not all completely sad: I forced myself to write happy stuff occasionally. Here's a sampling of some of my favourites. Let me know if you like them, I would happily share more if people enjoy them, but I genuinely have no idea how people will react to them.

Search the sky for a bird and watch as it lands; Put your palms to the ground, rest the world in your hands. Unmake all creation, the stars and the sands; Unravel existence and drown in its strands.

--

A boy and a girl meet, walking crookedly on a minefield street. Dodging the droppings of God at their feet; they found each other's gazes and in the storm discovered heat.

He said, "Here, let me hold, you wouldn't want to catch cold." She found him so bold, clinging to his chest and relinquishing her soul.

A meeting, another, you were practically her brother. She introduced you to her mother, and you absolutely loved her.

Then time caught up, as it's wont to do; She discovered the peril of wanting you. Assaulted by emotion, though she couldn't figure which it was, She never knew, she never knew, she never knew, and now she does.

--

Lead me the way, keeping shadows at bay, recalling at night things I've forgot during day. Teach me to find with the heart and not mind, and within your arms help me learn to unwind. Show river and stream, how to hope and to dream, and to trust that things can be exactly as seem. Guide my way through all these feelings anew, but remember it's my turn for guiding you, too.

--

It's the third act, but there's no conclusion; just a monologue, a fight, a vague allusion, all preying on the audience's delusion - a lie, a theft, a staged collusion. Let the curtain fall for extra exclusion, or pull the curtain back and expose the illusion. Make a play without identity, just convolution, but leave them wowed and take a bow, with fake effusion.

--

Stubble grazed his cheek as he nuzzled hair so sleek, admiring with wayward hands an untroubled physique. His breath had gone erratic, like a bubble with a leak; it felt a bit like trouble, but trouble made him weak.

--

Embrace our inner demons, blame our childhoods as the reasons, that we change so inexorably like leaves between the seasons. Do our worst to come in first, and cast our stone like heathens; we can't see that enmity's what caused the fall of legions. I'll leave it there for now. Genuinely tell me what you think, even if it's negative. Only a few people but myself have ever seen these so it's hard to know.

Feel free to tip here.

[amysterywrappedinanenigma]

Mysterious Benedict Society Episode 7 Liveblog - A Joyful Lens

I wrote this and then completely forgot to come back to it, but here we are, the day before the final episode is dropping. 

Wow, immediate new record for how fast I’ve wanted to punch Curtain. Usually it takes at least a couple minutes but this time it was just. literally the first line. may your tea always be too bitter and scald your fucking tongue. 

HmmmmMMMMMMM MA’AM ARE YOU FAKING YOU’D BETTER BE FAKING

I am staring at Number Two under a microscope rn, ma’am are you okay. 

“Big day tomorrow” pls no that sounded so wrong. I’ve been saying big day today for the past year, and big day tomorrow made me v uncomfortable. 

Tbh I wouldn’t be shocked if Curtain picked up on the fact that there was something in the tea. Not that I think he’s smart enough to pick up on it, but he just seems paranoid enough as a person to notice that something’s off. 

UH OH UH OH UH OH OH NO 

Ughhhhh having such conflicting feelings on number two getting whammied because yes it’s bad but also the things she’s saying are things that Mr. Benedict really needs to hearrrrrrr and things she should have been saying all season but ehhh. Mixed feelings. 

Love Kate and Milligan’s farm system. All of the moments that show how much they’ve built their lives and relationship with one another over the past year really warm my heart. It’s a nice other side to the moments where they’re struggling with their relationship 

RUN SILENT RUN DEEP!!! Thank you for the actual episode title bc I’m still uncomfy over big day tomorrow

But also yeah Milligan, running silent running deep really worked out well for you last time, uh huh, I’m sure it’ll go off without a hitch this time 

Reynie did you really think Kate was going to stay put, I love your confidence in people 

Hey disney I can’t take Reynie and Kate getting whammied too, so keep that in mind pls 

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CRYIJG I’M LAUGHING EO HARD 

THE STRAIGHTJACKETS 

THEIR FACES

THE WAY EVERYONE IS JUST🧍‍♂️

CONSTANCE’S TERRIFYING SMILE 

STICKY IS SO DONE HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD SET CURTAIN ON FIRE WITH HIS EYES

I’m LAUGHING SO HARD 

Oh my god this feels like a fever dream

J e f f e r s, he’s so proud of himself, you pathetic pathetic man 

Where the fuck did you get straightjackets, Jeffers? Did you go to a store after grabbing them? HAVE YOU BEEN CARRYING THOSE AROUND FOR WEEKS??? 

The way unwhammied Constance would just be biting him. Someone get her some acid for whenever they bring her out of it 

Jeffers of course you don’t know how to take off a straightjacket, can’t you see you’re undercutting Curtain’s reunion with two of his child nemeses? 

CONSTANCE THROWING OFF THE STRAIGHTJACKET LMAOOOOO absolutely iconic 

Shedding it like she’s shedding all the negativity in her life rn. She was in that straightjacket because she chose to be 

Yeah Sticky!!! Get him!! Call him evil!! 

Ew no Curtain you’re not allowed to refer to people as ‘friend’ anymore, I thought we left that behind last season. 

Slightly disappointed we didn’t get Curtain expecting Constance to straight up murder him, but that’s okay 

Wait no. Don’t you fucking dare. 

FIGHT IT STICKY FIGHT IT

DO NOT TAKE STICKY TOO PLEEEEASE 

It’s so much worse because Curtain knows all of Sticky’s insecurities from last season and just. AGHHHH. 

WHY MUST WE ALWAYS CUT OFF BEFORE WE SEE IF THE HYPNOSIS WORKED. I’M TOO STRESSED FOR THIS. 

The Mabel Pines voice is really jumping out now that Number Two is whammied 

Ohhhhhh is number two getting whammied what’s going to knock Mr. Benedict out of the hypnosis??? He’s so worried 

YEAH, KICK!

It’s really interesting that Mr Benedict has been able to have analytical thought about the hypnosis while he’s in it, like “why am i feeling this way, i feel like i should be fighting this” but other people don’t seem to be able to do that. It might just be for story purposes from the writers, but I wonder if there’s an in-universe reason? 

H W A T 

WHY ARE YOU SINGING

OH NOW IT’S BOTH OF THEM 

WHY ARE WE GETTING THIWHQTTHEFUCJ 

This episode is making me question my grasp on reality like none of the other episodes have 

WOLVES CBSHFBSHB absolutely roasted

Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! Mr Benedict finally gets a hug~

“Dressed in the faded rags of a hostage” has the same energy as “the clothes of someone who has given up”. Unintentional jillsoncore

She! Requested! Yellow! 

Kate not knowing what an alpaca is is really good content, thank you disney 

“I know I tease you, Sticky, but the truth is, I enjoy your scientific facts.” Cuteeeeee, I kind of hope once she’s unwhammied she says she meant that even though she was under the happy influence, but she’ll probably just go back to her friendly bullying, which is okay too 

Kate and Constance hug Kate and Constance huggggg <3 <3 <3 

“She’s an absolute pleasure to be around” Sticky nooo, like I totally get it but nooooo 

Oh thank god Sticky didn’t get whammied, I couldn’t have taken that. 

Him doing long division in his head to avoid it is precious, he’s so good. 

Ahhh it is once again cult leader time. Great.  

WAIT IS THAT MISS PERUMAL IN THE BACK 

FEAR FEAR FEAR 

Uh oh Enzo

Oh that was REALLY fast since we saw him get hypnotized by Auguste like 2 episodes ago. I wonder why it seems to happen at different speeds for different people 

Ohhh Curtain seems very shaken by someone else freezing 

Lmaooooo J&J’s little super awkward backwards shuffle with the wheelie chair 

N I C K Y

N I C K Y 

N I C K Y 

RED ALERT 

OOF. 

I’m just buffering over not now nicky 

Okay okay back on track 

The track I’m back on is adoring Miss Perumal

But also no thanks I cannot take the kids realizing their parents have been whammied 

Milligan hugging kate but her expression just stays blank like she’s realizing what has happened uhhhhhh I’m in pain 

Constance is just. vibing. 

Idk if this is intentional but I love the framing of almost never having Constance and the other three in the same frame in this scene, and the only times they’re in the same frame there’s both a lot of distance between them and a tree splitting the frame between them 

No, you DO need Dr. Garrison, because I need the show to bring her back

WAIT YES 

I CALLED IT TWO EPISODES AGO, SOMEONE STOLE THE NOTEBOOK 

I was wrong on who did it, since I had guessed it would be Constance, but I’m still excited 

“Garrison’s proven she can’t be trusted with technology.” HEY. LEAVE MY FAVORITE WOMAN IN STEM ALONE. Haven’t you ever heard of intellectual property?

Uh oh he’s MAD mad 

Lmao at Mr. B poking his head up over the window

But also oof now he knows about the people freezing

Jackson and Jillson I’m so sorry you guys cannot catch a singular break 

Two people I love with all of my soul but also occasionally fear on deep a primal level 

Excuse me Curtain you do NOT get to yell at them 

Add J&J to the list of people who deserve post-Curtain therapy (and also to commit physical violence against him, but that’s a given) 

LMAO the side eye towards frozen Marlon on “current personnel situation” 

I hope Marlon can hear them vagueing him. Get wrecked.

Still going for that promotion, good for you guys 

Curtain put your psych 101 “correlation does not equal causation” away, we all know you don’t have a degree. 

✨Don’t fucking patronize my blorbos✨

Nooooo the way they both kind of just deflated the second he walked out of the room. Every time we see how scared they are of him I get sad™️. 

It’s hard for me not to feel sympathetic for them because it’s framed in a way like they’ve invested so much in him and his methods, and then he’s very threatening and dismissive. 

Someone made a comment last season that was something along the lines of “the girls are fightingggggg” and that’s what I think every time they snipe at each other <3 

MR BENEDICT AND CONSTANCE HUG!!!

Thank god it’s actually him, I got so scared from the post-trailer discussion 

But them them them <3 I’m so glad we got a proper little reunion even though I wish it was longer 

“I’ve successfully stolen several items recently” yeah you have! You’re doing great! 

I really love scenes where we see the talents of the kids being highlighted, I’ve really been missing that this season

The multitool!!!!!! I still think about Milligan saying “I whittled it. :) for the bucket :) 

ASDFGHJKL THE DANCING 

Once again feeling like I’m in a fever dream

We’ve got the dorky dancing and then Miss Perumal still looking absolutely STUNNING no matter what

“Where’s my dad? Let’s start with him” <3 <3 <3 <3 

Still wondering why Mr. Benedict is capable of rational thought about the happiness but other people don’t seem to be. Maybe just a plot hole but hmmm. 

This conversation happening during dancing feels pretty on point for this season

Katie kat! 

Constantly torn between how wholesome the interactions are and being horrified that everyone is hypnotized, but I love Milligan and Kate as always

Kate’s lil smile when Milligan gets mad!!!!!!!

Miss Perumal looking STUNNING as ever, I want to dance with her. If she told me to stay and get whammied I would listen to her

Curtain imposing his fashion crimes on everyone else this season can’t touch her, she’s too perfect

SHE’S. VIBING. 

“Trust me.” “And I do, with my life.” 🥰🥰🥰

J&J y’all need to run, I fear for your safety once number two gets unwhammied 

I’M 

WHAT

THEY JUST

HELP THEY STRAIGHT UP TACKLED HIM 

HELP 

When I said run that is NOT what I meant, but go off I guess uhhhhh

They’ve really been through it this season and I guess this was how those feelings manifested themselves 

Rip Jillson’s shoulder 

It’s all haha funny until I start thinking about the way he was immediately SO concerned for her

“That was an odd impulse!” WEUHFWIUVBS sir you just got tackled 

“She gets a vote now?” Yes she does because she’s perfection personified and everyone needs to respect her more

c o m a e 

Mr B looks :( :( so upset :( and it makes me upset 

Number two definitely meant removing Curtain from his followers when she said the best way to stop a snake is to chop off its head, and totally doesn’t want to physically start removing Curtain’s limbs 

“US” 🥰🥰🥰🥰🎉🎉🎉🎉

Curtain I’m begging you not to look into the camera while doing the hypnosis thing, it’s terrifying 

The facade is once again cracking!!

Gotta have one scene every season where Curtain is losing it in front of a mirror 

FLOWER DELIVERY

Good, get him 

Mr B patting Curtain’s leg when they’re about to drive away is giving me feelings 

I love all of the background interactions between the kids and adults 

YEAH GOOD DESTRUCTION GOOD JOB MILLIGAN 

Tell me why I half expected Jackson and Jillson to both have a sling just to continue the identical vibes 

ALL OF THEM SLEEPING IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK OHHH FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY 

Wait no no NO NO NO 

Like we knew it was gonna happen but FUCK 

Okay final thoughts: 

Overall, I loved this episode too! I’m finding I’m really liking the later episodes as the plot ramps up and character beats come to a head, but I’ve been enjoying it all. I’m really interested to see how they close things out next episode, and how the hypnosis side effects end up being resolved, especially now that I don’t know if the main group is going to be going back to the compound at all. (J&J call in Garrison please, she can fix this.) And excited to see more character moments especially when people come out of the hypnosis. 

Where we’re at right now has me kind of worried for next episode, but I’m trying to stay optimistic. I feel like there are so many loose threads that need tying up, but with the much shorter episodes this season I’m a little worried things are going to feel really rushed next episode and not have very satisfying closures, or some things are just going to get dropped altogether.

But yes very good episode and I’m both excited for the next episode and already sad the season will be over. 

[crownednova]

I’ve only seen love directed towards RtDLDX, and while I think that’s lovely, I’ve always had several issues with it that I haven’t seen many else talk about. So that’s what I wanna do… talk about it. This was originally gonna be in the form of an essay, but I wrote the first draft half asleep, there is no saving that, and I think more of a point form, individualised analysis would get my point across better. This also means there isn’t going to be much for positives. Pretty much anything I don’t mention should be assumed I am either fine or happy with. Despite that though, I do still think the negatives are enough to cause me to not enjoy RtDLDX, at least not as much as I wish I could. But enough preamble.

New White Wafers Dialogue

Let’s start off with the two least impactful gripes. In fact, I’m just gonna get this one out of the way before getting onto the actual topic. Ability Stars look so much worse now. I get they’re 3D models now, but man, they just look so flat. Where are my RtDL Ability Star fans at? Okay, now to actually begin. All the other changes to Story Mode are great, but wow, I do not like his “Such Easy Targets” line. It feels like a betrayal of his facade. I’ve said in the past that RtDL has my favourite Magolor, which is why this stings. This isn’t like any of his other new/changed dialogue, while his Extra Mode dialogue also stands out, it still feels closer to how he acts. Not to mention, this is him finally being honest. He’s allowed to drop the facade here, it makes sense. But in White Wafers? I just can’t see him saying that. In the original, he does come off as shady, and he does mess up his story, but in a completely different way. I feel a similar slip up is when he calls Kirby a Hero in Cookie Country. At that time, he isn't supposed to know that. He also changes his story from “Just Crash Landing” to “Being Attacked by Landia.” Those are his brand of slip ups, I can’t imagine he’d mess up that badly as to say “Man I love scheming. Oops I mean crocheting ☺️” It’s also a lot more relaxed than what I expect from him. I always interpreted RtDL Magolor as having this stress to his dialogue. His ship is in shambles and he needs to keep up a lie. He still goofs around, but it’s in a completely different tone, it still has undertones of panic. This however, reads more like one of his upgrade lines in the Epilogue. Some may find that appropriate, but Magolor is never written consistently, and trying to add connections only makes things worse. Also, forgot to mention, this is just a straight up spoiler. Sure, the game is 11 years old, but Forgotten Land introduced so many new Kirby fans, people who know nothing about the series, to reveal your biggest twist, especially in a way that feels like a betrayal to the character you’ve written, I just can’t understand the idea behind this change. Because what is the point? I keep asking myself this and I genuinely can’t comprehend it.

Extra Mode Changes

Extra Mode got a glow up in RtDLDX, that’s obvious from the first stages, so then why do I find myself preferring the original? It’s consistent. 1-1 is probably the most fun I’ve had with RtDL in years, so to be greeted by that, only to be met with the exact same mode I’ve played countless times, it’s crushing. It feels like it was set up to get you excited, just to pull the rug from under you. I could get it if it was deliberately there to convince you to buy the game, but if you’ve made it this far, you already own it. So why? While this inconsistency ruins the mode for me, I can’t help but have a more, sympathetic outlook. The original mode is a clear sign this game was rushed, while most of the game, you wouldn’t even be able to tell. I don’t know if those who worked on it were happy with how Extra Mode turned out. Maybe that’s presumptuous of me, but DX was their chance to fix this, but they didn’t. If it isn’t obvious, I think Extra Mode was once again rushed. 1-1, while maybe a bit unfair, still felt like there was love put into it, as much love as the bosses. And 2-1 and 3-1 also got noticeable attention, but much less. The fact the first levels got this attention, makes me feel like they were just developing the levels they could, I can’t explain it as well as I’d like, but it still stands out to me that way. But, while I appreciate the effort, it only makes it feel more unfinished than the original. I’m just so sad about this because this was their only chance to fix the original, it just stands out compared to all the other Extra Modes from the games after. Even something simple like letting Player 1 be Dedede, Meta or Bandee would have done so much for this mode. And, as I’ll soon say, Magolor Epilogue does nothing to circumvent  this. Magolor Epilogue Part 1 - Gameplay That’s right, a two parter! This is gonna be hard though, as I don’t know where my biases begin, and where they end. While this is obviously all subjective, I still would like some ground to stand on. So, I’m gonna start with what I like and what I think works. Let’s start with the bosses. Besides the marketing, which really should have its own section, they’re pretty cool! They innovate on the original bosses, Electicky Dooter is my favourite boss from this game. But it does suck they aren’t more original, or the fact the minibosses are still the same ones from Story and Extra Mode. It just makes the fact all the world bosses were spoiled for us hurt all the more. Next are Ordeal Doors. I love them. They work around the required upgrades so perfectly. Being able to know what the player will have means they can make memorable and fun stages. The regular stages are the exact inverse of this. They’re bland, forgettable, they have to work around the fact that you may never upgrade your abilities. I often see people praise the freedom the upgrade system provides, but I only see the inverse. It’s restrictive. The most the regular stages can do is play around with the boss abilities. However, those are often so weak, done so much better in the Ordeal Stages, or aren’t intuitive for movement that they can’t stand out. The combo system is much more interesting as a mechanic, and the game can properly play around with it, but the upgrades encapsulate everything I dislike about how it feels to play. No, everything I dislike with this whole Epilogue. Magolor Epilogue Part 2 - Tone and Story

I get it’s Kirby, but Kirby has done good and serious stories, so then why is Magolor Epilogue such tonal whiplash. The intro and tutorial capture it perfectly. Magolor almost died, he basically did. He lost his friends, his magic, he’s alone. Good thing he can think uppity thoughts! That’s unfair, I love his upgrade dialogue, I don’t want them to take away the humour, but there has to be some sort of middle ground! Make it clear his jokes are a form of coping, make the pause screens talk about his thoughts rather than vagueing towards Grand Doomer being the final boss 4 times in a row. Give us a look at how he actually feels!!! This is worse in the ending, we never see him actually feel guilt for what he’s done. We’re just told he’s redeemed now, we’re told that on a pause screen that’s not even accessible for 30 seconds!! It’s not even a case of show don’t tell, because they don’t even tell us anything! What I find worse is that he doesn’t even have to confront Kirby to apologise, not really, he literally gets to start living out his dream, stalling until the whole situation blows over until he just gets to show up on Pop Star, somehow, where there is barely any tension left. He gets off easy, he dies, and he gets rewarded for it. LITERALLY TOO!! I’ve never liked his Star Allies moveset. It was so clearly busted, that it felt like he’s stronger without the Master Crown. So in response to this, they canonise this moveset and it’s even more busted. It all comes back to the fact he’s constantly rewarded for his betrayal. He loses nothing. And it’s infuriating, because how am I supposed to expect him to be redeemed when he didn’t have to suffer for anything he did. Sure, he cries at the end of the mode, too bad we never know how he’s feeling anywhere else. They didn’t even answer how he got back to Pop Star, instead answering how he got to the Dream Kingdom. Idk about anyone else, but I just kinda assumed he got there with the Lor, the “real” answer doesn’t feel satisfying at all. He doesn’t even do anything interesting in the Clash games, nothing, not unless we get another Clash sequel. I just, I just wanted him to apologise to Kirby, but instead, it feels like HAL is doing everything in their power to make sure he doesn’t. The worst part is that I’m still hoping for that Clash sequel, I’m waiting for them to execute what they’ve set up, but I just don’t think it’s happening. I just wish I could see what everyone else sees in Epilogue, but I just can’t.

Merry Magoland

I guess I should wrap this up with Magoland. It’s not that bad, but I think it suffered the most from feeling slapped on with no real purpose. I like the Minigames, but I’m more talking about the park itself. I don’t like how it looks. It might just be because I’m not a fan of Magolor’s ego, or at least never saw it being this kind of ego, but it doesn’t work here for me. From what we’ve seen of Magolor’s work in the past, it’s always had this sort of child like aspect to it, like it was made with crayons and cardboard or building blocks. It created a nice aesthetic, albeit, a rather disconnected one, Drum Dash and Dream Collection look nothing alike. But to see them completely ignore what those two set up for a boring DisneyLand parody? Especially one played so positively? Idk, maybe I’m expecting too much asking for another “Capitalism is Bad'' metaphor, but still, Disney is very well known for being a garbage company so???? It’s funny how a place meant to look as innocent as possible is immersion breaking for being as innocent as possible. In reality, it’s not that bad, Manager Magolor acts nothing like Story Mode Magolor, but that’s a consistent thing with all his appearances so whatever I’ve grown to accept it. I just wish Dream Collection and Drum Dash got more love. Especially since Last Land of all things was referenced back in Dream Buffet, I still love that btw. Some sort of visual link might have helped, but even without them, I just think gaudy isn’t Magolor’s style? Like it totally is, but this brand of it doesn’t feel like him. However, I don’t write for him, idk his “true” personality, his “true” taste, maybe he likes Glitter and I can’t stop him. It just serves to make the new stuff feel out of place juxtaposed to the more natural, magical and mechanical settings of Story Mode.

And I guess that’s it, I never want to do this kinda thing again. Being this negative, although my true feelings, is just exhausting. I hope no one agrees with my issues, but if you do, hope it’s nice to see someone talk about it lol. I’m not giving up on this game though, I want to come back in a few months and see how my feelings have changed. I doubt it’ll fix everything, but I hope I can gain a new appreciation for this game, critiques and all. I guess thanks for reading as well, it means a lot to know people care about what I have to say.

[handelplayssims]

Reaper's Reward - Week 3

Time for another week doing quests for Grim! This time, we seem to be thinking about Lady Mimsy and her knowledge of ambrosia. ...wonder if I can head off to Windenburg for extra points.

Two quests, one to Learn from the Lady by reading a tome we unlocked last week, and another to gather the first ingredient. Also it’s Explosion Day! ...I live in the UK and this is as close to Guy Fawks day as I’ll go with. Traditions include, fire, fireworks, airing grievances, and art and music spirit. Alex loves fireworks and the arts while Venus likes the fireworks. All in this household ignore being mean.But first, let’s go read the introduction to the Green Lady’s tome. And then do gardening. I am definitely also going to be giving the Fyres family this tome. I associate them with the lost Lord and Lady. Also Moria would probably go for it. Right, introduction to the book says that it skills gardening, fishing, and cooking. We’ll see if that actually hold out.

Sending Alexander to school alone today, it’s time for Bella to work-from-home. Her goals are to get to know sims in Uptown and to write a letter. Good to know. Ah, Bella making her breakfast counted off the cooking. Ah well. Anyway, time to work and we’re taking Geoffrey with us. He wants to meet someone new in a third location and Uptown will work for that. It’s morning so...let’s head over to the Uptown library! ...why library instead of lounge, you may ask? Well, I decided to have the richest sims in each area control what lots get built. Fengs wanted something quieter.

I see someone at the chess table so time to say hi! And- ...wow. Goeffrey is completely done with Friend of the World now. He is skilled after all that so, fair’s fair! ...let’s go for Neighborhood Confidante then. That mostly relies on random phone calls, but we can go out and say hello to other folks and point and nudge them in specific ways. Bella’s gotten to know chess lady, Bjorn, and Geoffrey. Now let’s get some donations before we head back home. Right, off for Bella to go and write a letter. Done and dusted. Let’s see...she needs to go on dates, but I want to wait for Alex to come home and do garden- mm. He has chess practice today. Welp.

Right, ambrosia society newsletter tells us to catch an angel fish! ...welp! New goals are to fish with bait or to travel to Caster’s Alley. Oh fun! Now Alex is going to get into the funky stuff! ...also gotta say, getting the pomegranate grafting just instilled in me FEAR. Can only nab apples cutting and my cherry trees aren’t grown yet. Hmm. Well, we got the book quest done already with Alexander doing his gourmet cooking. Good for him!

Past 8PM so let’s set off some fireworks since it’s properly dark now. By the by, you can order those off the computer, in case you forgot. Fireworks exploded, now to finish art and music for those who don’t have it. Venus shall practice singing and Alex shall head to the pipe organ. Also got Guidry to go and give another 1000 simoleans to the cause. Deal with it, ghost! You drop by every day so pay the dues!

And with that, everyone headed to bed. It’s time for-

Neighborhood Watch!

Henford-on-Bagley: The Vega household has moved in.

Another day, some more gardening to do for Alex. ...might as well also set up a slumber party. Alex is going to be spending most of his free time at chess so might as well work on other stuff.

...WELL. Geoffrey walked in on Bella autonomously flirting with Guidry. Uh, I declined getting him the jealous trait, but uh, negative sentiments time. Gonna have him yell at Bella for that. And...hmm. She does have a sad sentiment for betraying her partner. A smooth apology immedately cleared the negative sentiment though. Welp. But at least Geoffrey still has the fear of being cheated on. And Bella has the hurt sentiment from being yelled at. Anyway, Bella has a whim to do volunteer work so let’s let her and Geoffrey do some good deeds today. Comfortably compatible lifestyles sentiment for Geoffrey. Weeeeelp, so much for negative fallout from cheating. Except the fear.

Anyway, let’s see about getting started with Geoffrey’s aspiration. I don’t really care about expanding the family or finding new jobs for premades sooo...let’s see. Why don’t we have Mei Prescott go and befriend Bjorn Begersen. They’re both gloomy so why not? Huzzah! That worked! Let’s do one of those per day.

Had Geoffrey chat and talk to Venus, he wanted to mentor a child so perhaps teaching her about saying please and thank you and helping with homework would count.

It’s slumber party time! Instead of focusing on goals, I’m going to have Venus tell stories from the sleeping bag. It’s apart of her next aspiration stage after all! ...I am aboslutely chuckling about her telling the story about the Mother Plant though. Heheh. And that is done! Next is playing games. Sorry, chess table, you are now done and dusted and it is Simbles time! Simbles done. Now it’s past 1AM! It’s time for these kids to get some sleep. The biggest goal of a slumber party!

...I am honestly surprised Geoffrey is up this early in the morning. -shrug- Might as well have him befriend Kendall the butler.

And it’s 5AM. Finally time for-

Neighborhood Watch!

Eliza Pancakes in the Pancakes household has died. Eliza tried fixing the toilet and it randomly burst into flames!

-trumpets ring out- HALLELUJAH! For so long Bob has been dead and now it’s finally time for Eliza to join him. But also! It means I can do something new with that home. I have astronauts in Willow Creek and it feels slightly wrong to simply have the rocket ship not be a public utility. I’m going to get a community lot and make it into a maker space! And place a rocket ship on it.

Seiji Kato in the Kato household has died. Seiji stuck a finger in a plug and electricity came out.

...you I don’t know. RIP.

Gardening with Alex and making his own breakfast. Grind those skills! ...let’s end the slumber party slightly early because I want to go to school with Alexander today. Gold event so we get money and a new sleeping bag! Nice nice. Also I nabbed a graft off of the apple tree. Can’t give it to a cherry tree though, alas.

To school with Alexander! Finally filling up that social meter with him. Got to know his chess teammate Molly Prescott...and immedately became good friends with her. Welp, nicely done, I suppose. Huh. Got an invite to prom as friends with Molly. Might as well! We’ll see if I remember by prom time. WAIT, HE HAS A DATE. That sounds like a bad idea actually. Let’s uh, actually check in with Maria first. And give her a proper invite.

...but first, fishing. But I can bring Maria with me, at least. Asked her to prom and she accepted, very enthusiastically. Enough romance! Time to fish! I immediately spotted an angelfish pop up of a fishing hole I was interested in so let’s go!

So pro-tip, you can see fish swimming in where they can be caught.

IT WAS LITERALLY MY SECOND CAST! Game is being generous. 3 more casts of the fishing line to see what I get. Pffth, keep getting kitchen appliances and an apple. Anyway, let’s get some food and then we’ll head out to the magic realm.

...Molly walked up and asked to go to prom again! No! Well, now she has the hurt sentiment and Alex thinks she- wait no, we still have closer from happy memories sentiment. -shrug-

Also Tane Ngata decided to say eat right next to Alex at the small amusement park where I got supper for him, might as well say hello. He’s a fellow nerd so why not? And might as well convince him to join in the chess team.

And now, to the Magic Realm! ...and getting in there automatically finishes off the quest. Week done! That was quick. ...I am still in fear about the potental grafting issues that may come. Though pomegranate is not the rare plant I should worry about, I suppose. I know I can get that off of groceries.

Anyway, I got loads of fish! Let’s go home and set up a proper fish tank to showcase them in!

Fish tank all nice and set up. Will keep the Angelfish fresh until it’s time comes.

Bella needs rest. Alex needs rest. Venus needs to head back to bed so she can be ready for school but might as well make a friendship braclet while she’s still up. And then send her to bed. Geoffrey...eh, let’s just advise our butler to make friends. That’ll do.

Neighborhood Watch!

Izzy Fabulous in the Fabulous household has died. Izzy heard a dad joke and laughed a little too hard.

Aww man! Rip our fabulously gay and slightly famous guy.

Emilia Lucas in the Lucas household has died. Emilia asked a rabbit if it wanted a carrot, but the rabbit chose violence.

Anyway, that’s this week! A pretty easy one, all things considered. See you all next week for more fun!

[wordsofapanda]

I told my work wife about what my ex said about my weight and her jaw dropped. I wasn’t expecting her to say this but she said “he better hope I don’t meet him in real life”. Then she consoled me by reminding me of something sweet my coworker said to me. She reminded me that my coworker thinks I give really great hugs in a way to fight a negative comment my ex made about hugs. I completely forgot about my coworker saying that and I forgot she was in the room with me. I was comforting my coworker weeks ago and I said “let’s hug it out” and hugged him and he was like “oh wow, you’re a really good hugger”. And I believed him since one of my other tumblr friends, told me the same exact thing. It was sweet for her to flip it to a moment where someone appreciates my hugs or thinks they’re great. Anyways, it’s hilarious picturing my work wife being salty or plotting against my ex. Maybe because she’s a small British lesbian in her 40s that takes no shit. And I didn’t expect her to lowkey be so protective. I mean, I’ve seen her when she’s extra spicy and she can be intimidating but to picture her being spicy at my ex for me is just comical. And sweet. Either way, she’s the bees knees.

[rwby-necro-au-archive]

Y'know, the sad thing about noir doing something to jack (like a surgery noir cough cough)? I think (I hope) in time, noir would come to regret it. Like, imagine way back when you hated James. And then he changed. If jack changes... Imagine if you had punished ironwood like that. Imagine the damage that would do, not only to himself and you, because there's no effing way you wouldn't be changed by that, but also the timeline. Imagine noir did that to James, and tryna make things up later, and James being absolutely effing TERRIFIED of noir, and unable to move forward. Imagine him becoming terrified of anons in general. There is no way to truly thrive, grow, or move forward to be better if you're too scared to move. Speaking from experience here. And once you're out of a shitty situation, you can truly see just how much of a mental (and oftentimes physical) block fear is. Sometimes, you don't even realize it. I used to think I had this thing where my hair was different colors (I forgot the term, but basically think cruella) and then, I grew up, moved away from some bad people, and my hair went completely dark, no other colors. I asked my doctor, out of curiosity. Turns out, when you're scared for the majority of your life, your hair can fucking CHANGE COLORS because you're so constantly stressed or feeling negativity. But the moment I was out? Back to the way it should've been years ago. Now imagine someone punishing you for an atrocity you may or may not remember ordering someone else to do. They come in, do the same painful surgery (it's a fair punishment, but roll with me here) and then, years later, when you finally realize what a shitty person you are, you have endured not only that, but millions of other people's pain, and expected to move forward with this along with the knowledge that you deserved all of that shit. Having to see the scars every day, to feel the pain and physical equivalent of those scars because you're probably feeling shitty about yourself most of the time, having to deal with the fact that YOU know you deserved it, you want to change, but you've now gotta hang out with the people that you hurt, and while some tolerate you, some still hate you and want to rub in the fact that you deserve it. And you know that you do. You know they're well within their rights to do this. The way it would affect you to constantly be trying, for all eternity, to make up for the shit that you've done, to basically tiptoe around everybody? All the time. Lest they think you're evil again. And then have the people that punished you hurting as well, because of what they did to you, but you know that you deserve it. The way that would hurt everyone here. And yeah, I know, he shouldn't have done shitty things, but the way to combat that isn't by hurting others.

I-

Wow okay that’s really deep tbh /lh

Proud of you for typing that all out and feeling comfy enough to say that.

[catboii]

(( hi to anyone who forgot they were following this DEADass blog!!

I've obviously not been on here, or on any RP blog at all, in forever. I'm gonna put this weird update(? more like a note to myself) under a cut, in case it gets kinda long... I might add updates to it later because there's alot I want to say. but I doubt anyone who would've been interested back when I was active, is still around (not to be negative! I don't expect them to be, I hope everyone I hung out with is living their best life!!) but I don't really know where else to collect my mess of thoughts on this character (I only sort of use twitter atm? and char limit lol), so for now, I'll post it here, and if I ever wanna link back to it, it's all neat and together...

if you've forgotten what this blog used to be since I changed URL and icons etc the last couple times it was active, it was Catboii, then before that SolicitorC. I have no idea if this character is actually dead, or if it is still out there somewhere, living it's best life (hopefully) maybe one day I'll tie up the loose ends, and finally set it free.... who knows

the reason I'm here, thinking about this character so fondly again, is I've actually been tentatively thinking about. writing things. again. I've been reading Homestuck fanfics again recently (i know right? in 2023?? what the shit) I doubt anyone who followed me on this blog knew me back on my other RP blogs, where I occasionally mentioned my fanfics (from 10 years ago aparently, mostly 2013 wow)..... most of which I'm embaressed about today so some I've orphaned, but the experience and practice was good in the long run

but the point is I've been thinking about writing something in my spare time (which I don't have much of, and I have multiple mental things that mean I have to re-read and correct and rearrange things I write like a million times. so far I've taken nearly 2 hours <now nearly 4 including eating and moving from upstairs to downstairs back upstairs...> to write and re-read this post, and I'm nowhere near done yet.... I'm gonna try to not be so anal about how this lays out because I've moved some paragraphs around and it sometimes doesn't make sense, but it literally doesn't matter! this is mostly just so I can look back on it in the future and be like, "oh yeah, I did that...")

I was thinking about trying to write some original fiction about one particular set of fantasy characters I have, and I like to remember the inspiration for their origins, so here we are.....

people who actually know me know I'm a HUGE slut for recycling characters. I have OCs who've been in literal hundreds of AUs, with either the same characters as always, or some different ones. and alot of my OCs, surprise surprise, started off as Tumblr RP muses.

I actually have a new version of this character, completely off tumblr or any other platform as of yet. although now he's completely diverged and I've created an entirely new timeline, new history, some actual lore of where he's come from and WHAT HE IS (finally) and how some of my other characters fit into the "universe". and I'll be honest, I did take some inspiration from some chatacters we met along the way. they have different names, I've changed their personalities somewhat, some are just loosely based off of the "concept" of a character we met, or the kind of relationship or interactions they had with my/other characters around,,, and they may not fit together with each other in this universe the way they did on Tumblr because they're not them, but the inspiration that I got from the interactions our characters had, had a big impact on the way this character has evetually turned out. I have BPD and "favourite people" reaches to more than just actual real life people for me, it reaches to characters, and I did have some "favourite muses" that really stuck with me, even if my muse wasn't a fan or they didn't really interact. there were also characters that my muse was really into, that I personally wasn't a fan of, but still mean alot to me and our progression

I obviously don't wanna just straight up plagierise someone else's character, and that wouldn't make sense anyway.... I can't copy someone else's character, and even if I COULD, they were probably fandom muses, which wouldn't work here in our new world. I can make up new characters, self indulge for the purposes of progressing my other character's stories... but that feels empty and pointless. these characters STILL hold a special place in my heart? and so some kind of weird tribute, without actually telling the person who made them, just makes sense to me I guess.... I wasn't gonna out mysef like this tbh, because to some people it might sound bad, I have alot of other characters who I've basically done the same thing with, took some loose inspiration from some OCs/fandom muses someone else made, and put some bits and pieces of them together in a completely different character of my own. I have a couple who are still mildly reminiscent of the originals, or are a very close paralell (with my own quirks), which I actually did get permission from the original creators to use and change... sometimes I think about actual TV or book characters who these smaller characters remind me of, and other RP blog characters or OCs, put bits of these characters together, then pick them apart, thinking about how they grew up, their family, friends, how that would've formed them as a person... frankensteining them together into some kind of guilt-free brain baby. this is essentially how you make characters, right? they're even initially inspired by real people, or real people's traits or personalities... then you squish them up and mould them into something else? it's not like I'm profiting off someone else's hard work and creativity... idk I don't really know how I feel about it.

for me, making characters is more than just "welp I need someone to be this guy's friend for a few chapters", they're a big part of the story, each one of my characters need to have some kind of background. even if that background is that we don't know anything about them for whatever reason.

anyway... back to the point I was getting to.

Tii, or Kiity, started off as... sort of a weird social experiment (at least that's what I'm calling it as a joke) on how out of character I can make a "normal" homestuck AU character, and not feel even the slightest bit bad about it. until I did.

the full timeline from when I was actually active is here but if you're not into long rambling explanations, here's, something..... (spoiler this turned into way longer than the timeline page, but this one has actual me in it, and my thoughts, rather than a sorta,,, emotionless list) if you DON'T wanna read the full timeline, but would like to read about my NEW character, I'll put this between these squigglies, and you can just skip it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

homestuck stuff (so if you don't get HS then I'm sorry!): he started as just a normal post-game Sollux but he was god tier, didn't remember anything from the game or where his friends were, but couldn't die! fun! while he'd had the blog he got one of those pesky magin anons which turned him into a literal catboy, which he was actually really into bc people gave him alot of attention, so we made it permanent, there was some stuff with an Alternian uprising, human troll experimentation, he had his own lab, did experiments with parasites, especially brain worm type deals, I think this Sollux (I've had a few) didn't have Psionics? bc I'm a sucker for broken bois, it's been such a long time that I don't remember much myself. there was a phase with quadrant prostitution, hence the blog title "Solicitor". the first URL is where the nickname Lit came from. totally accidental but "it's Lit" was a great tag line. there was alot of memory loss in here, a universe's Signless manipulating Lit's memories to his own advantage... I have a terrible memory myself, and forgetting important things is a big fear of mine, so I thought I'd vent it out as a plot point, again, fun! it was also a handy plot ploint to let Lit forget muses who went inactive, rather than waiting around for them to return (since he was clingy but I'm realistic and have no problem if someone has a real life)

no more homestuck: there's a climax point where Lit was manipulated by a demonic creature called Kreed, which mostly happened off-blog. partially because I was too cringe thinking "lol demons" to actually go very far with it publicly. but in the end it worked out in my favour, because the story was getting REALLY DEPRESSING, and it was sorta going stale... this is where I dropped fandom and made Tii an OC, I was sort of feeling weird about the whole fandom thing since the character didn't feel like the actual canon character at all, with the memory loss and the manipulation. it was totally in character and it was story/character progression, but it didn't feel right calling it Sollux anymore, and honestly it was a little restricting.... it wasn't out of place though, because other people were making their fandom characters OCs around this time, rather than just starting up a whole new blog for the OC, having to get followers/interaction from scratch... you know, the grind.

there was a while at this point where Tii thought it was happy? but honestly no, it wasn't, and it was dragging me down a bit, which is why I kept dipping out, and I made a couple of ther blogs around this point. in general the blog experience was good, most of the interactions were great, but I'd put too much,,,,, brain? into emotions and the afterthoughts. I got too in my head, and in Tii's head, about the past. there were toxic muses that Tii dwelled on, and even if I tried to erase the memories, they would still pop up on it's dash and it would start a spiral, there would be posts on the vent blog regarding these people and Tii would be like "WHO DIS??" which was partially funny, but in the end exhausting.... it turned out, what I was *hoping* would be a superpower (forgetting traumatic events) turned out to be Tii's downfall.... I decided to go no-contact with my own character at some point. mostly I was just genuinely too busy, but I started to pop back on every now and again on mobile to see how things were going, say hi to a couple people, but eventually it would all start spiralling again, and it just wasn't enjoyable. I tried making another blog for an OC, which I don't think I even finished setting up before I decided I just didn't have the time or energy to start up.... but that's not Tii stuff, so nevermind that

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today, Furui is a Nekomata (with some shapeshifting abilities), in a world where maybe 2% of the population is some kind of fantasy creature, living in hiding. most can blend in with general society, so humans think it's WAY less than that, although they know they're around...

I have a few "main characters", including Keisuke, who was a boy who grew up at the family temple/shrine (I'm not too familiar with Japanese culture, and I'm not about to pretend I am, so I forget which it is) where Furui lived back when he was an actual, literal cat. he frequented the site, even though his family told him not to go alone as the ghost of a black cat haunted it. it was actually just a Yokai. so much better... the Yokai grew quite fond of Keisuke, and hung around him, let him put a handmade collar on him so he could hear the tinkling bell when he was around. although Keisuke moved abroad to study when he was older, and when he returned after several years, the cat was gone. at some point, Furui, not understanding human language, so thinking Keisuke had just forgetten about him (even though he did try multiple times to say he was leaving,,, )and other humans pestering him and trying to chase him out, had gotten fed up, and turned into a malevolent spirit, burning down the temple/shrine, and killing several humans who'd tried to harm him

on a lighter note, fast farward a couple years, there's some goofy intro where Keisuke meets Furui in a human form, but he's an absolutely terrible human impersonator. they somehow end up being buddies and Keisuke teaches him how to person etc etc story things.

there are other main characters like Lyric the sweet but secretly manipulative Siren, or "Lyra" to humans. then there's Denali the reluctant Werewolf who I've actually toyed with being the protagonist. they have a complicated relationship where Lyric doesn't want Denali to be so self destructive (drinking and sleeping around), and doesnt actually know that he's a literal werewolf. because he won't tell her. he's worried she'll absolutely freak out about him getting hurt or hurting people... what he doesn't realise is she's just using him and has got him wrapped around her little finger, because she thinks he's just another stupid human. he, of course knows she's NOT a human, but think he's special, and she would NEVER use her powers on him.

Furui and Keisuke move abroad to [wherever I decide this takes place] where Lyric, Denali, and a bunch of other characters live. Furui quickly befriends Lyric because he can smell non-humans, being a cat and all, meets Denali and finds out he hasn't told Lyric his secret, so (as he's not a human, so doesn't have human values of trust and camaraderie, and is... not a nice person in general) threatens to out him if he doesn't play along with his games.. those games, being he's been the dark creature slowly picking off the werewolf packs roaming the streets killing people. one of those packs, being Denali's own. Furui takes great pleasure in making the guy choose between his relationship with Lyric, who he thinks he feels more than just platonically for, or his pack. this of course has alot of ways it could go, and I haven't fully decided.... but it's fun to theorise.

originally, Furui had a huge crush on Denali (which was gonna end in some kinda violent throwndown between him and Lyric), because in my mind he started out as this huge confident wolf boy, and who doesn't wanna fuck a werewolf, but as time's been going, he's been showing his vulnerabilities, and Furui will absolutely not be into anyone who is scared of anything, especially if it's not tangible... he's a ilteral spirit, he can't die or be killed. he toys with death on the daily, and I have a couple of quick little drabble scenes written up already (to get it out of my system) of him being absolutely annihilated, only to grotesquely and noisily pull his dislocated/broken limbs back into their sockets, and raise up from the ground gushing blood and bits of his insides all over the pavement.... you can't be second guessing your words in case you hurt someone's feelings around someone like that, if you want them to respect your physical prowess. on one hand, I like big confident scary Denali, but I also like confidence being a front, and secretly vulnerable doggo boi. it's a hard life.

anyway I'm just ranting now, and it's been.... like literally over 5 hours. I started writing this at half 4ish? and it's 10pm now. I feel better though, like I got something out of my system, and I got some of my story thoughts down, instead of just letting them swim around in my head then be forgotten.

if anyone did read all this for whatever reason, then I hope you have a great day, and thankyou for sharing this with me ...