#not really its own thing

[a-kaash-me-outside]

the walls are thin - ch7.5

in which maki was your college boyfriend with whom you shared everything. previous | ch7.5 | next (coming soon) [masterlist]

// passionate, silently perfect romantic, unwavering platonic ~ ᴍᴀᴋɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ~ 3176 ᴡᴏʀᴅs

a look into this chapter: 18+ minors dni, absolutely not necessary to read for the plot, just some maki background for my maki bitches, backstory, light angst (they break up that's not a spoiler), flirting, cute scenes, she/her pronouns

join my taglist here!! ~~ (last ch tmrw,, and an epilogue nxt wk) ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

falling in love with hanamaki takahiro was like waking up to soft sunlight and a gentle morning breeze. you weren’t expecting it to happen, were expecting to wake up to your alarm clock or a frantic knock on your door, didn’t know it was even happening until you were awake. it happened sooner than you thought it would, but it wasn’t jarring, wasn’t abrupt, was slow and patient, unfolded overtime, piece by piece, until one day, it just was. 

you had had relationships in the past, high school crushes and senior year flings, but hanamaki takahiro taught you what love was, what it was like to trust a person so deep in your bones that it practically felt like you carried them along with you wherever you went. 

but before it was this passionate, silently perfect romantic love, it was an unwavering platonic love, a friendship that didn’t just make sense to the two of you or your closest friends, but anyone you came into contact with. former classmates, semester-long friends, professors, and hallmates, everyone that knew you, knew maki, and everyone that knew maki, knew you. 

on your way to class, eating lunch alone for a change, in the grocery store with him an aisle away, you were always met with, “where’s maki?” as if he was a defining characteristic of your personality, as if being without him was life-threatening to you. and the weird thing was that, you didn’t mind the questions. you didn’t feel lesser because a part of you was attached to this incredible person who just made your life better. besides, you did always know where maki was. 

hanamaki takahiro was the first real friend you made on campus, not just a college friend that lasted within the confines of your school and town, but someone you instantly knew was going to be in your life for a really long time, no matter what form.

</3 </3 </3

about halfway into the second semester of freshman year, hanamaki takahiro made the only somewhat, maybe it should’ve been a bit more difficult decision to go out of his comfort zone in the name of shifting the labels of your incessant flirting and weekend long hang out sessions. 

you were on the way out of his dorm, bag thrown over your shoulder already, shoes already on, goodbye already dissipating from the room, hand reaching towards the door handle when he blurted, “holy shit this is going to be so embarrassing if i read this situation wrong, but would you maybe want to like… go get a drink with me?”

your motions halted, slowly turning to face him as you narrowed your eyes, head tilting to the side out of caution. “like now?” you asked. it was one out of a million other questions you could have asked to understand the exact connotation of the question.

“i mean, sure? that’s not necessarily what i meant,” he said, hand on the back of his neck sheepishly for just a few moments before turning his palm to the sky in a half shrug. 

this side of maki wasn’t one that you got to see often, somewhat shy, a little unsure, and you were really loving the way you could see the subtle blooming of a pink tint on the highs of his cheeks. even when you were ruthlessly flirting with him and he was perpetually flirting back, you never got to see this amount of fluster. it was quite adorable. 

you leaned your shoulder against his door frame. “then what do you mean, maki?” you asked him, crossing your arms over your chest, only somewhat nervous that he was going to call your bluff. you absolutely knew what he meant. 

“i meant, like- like a date?” he clarified. 

“you want our first date to be at a bar?” you asked.

his cheeks got even pinker, eyes slightly widened as he tried to recover a bit, “not necessarily, just thought it might be a casual way to ask you out, like we get dinner all the time. we’ve never just gotten drinks as friends, so i thought it would be a bit easier to just-”

“i’m literally fucking with you, maki,” you said, sentence barely leaving your mouth before the corners of your lips turned upwards into a devilishly sweet smile. you didn’t torture him any longer, “of course i’ll go on a date with you. a drink sounds nice.”

“you’re the worst, y’know that?” he replied, exhale of breath expelled as his shoulders relaxed. he ran his fingers through his hair, exhaled once more, and then smiled at you so absolutely genuine with heaps of adoration that you could’ve kissed him right there. 

“you’re smiling pretty big for someone who’s going on a date with the worst,” you teased, leaning forward onto the tips of your toes. your chest felt light, skin felt tingly, stomach felt fluttery. how were you supposed to just live like this until you went on your date? “so, are we going now?” you blurted.

he quirked his head. “you- you want to go now? it’s like, 9pm on a wednesday, don’t you have classes tomorrow? and i look like this.”

“what? cute?” you asked, and the funny thing is that it wasn’t any different than you’d normally reply. maki knew that too. “i just think that if we don’t go now, how are we supposed to act tomorrow when we get lunch? like friends? like another date? like friends who are about to go on a date? it’s just easier this way.”

“you want to just get our date out of the way?” maki poked. 

“sure,” you replied as if it was a real question. he almost looked slightly taken aback until you followed quickly with, “that way we can set the tone, y’know? figure out that we really like each other sooner, keep flirting with each other, schedule another date, that kinda thing.”

“alright,” he said, walking to the corner of his room to get his jacket, shoving his wallet into his pocket, grabbing his keys. “let’s go then.”

“really?” you asked, eyes bright, standing up straight off of the door frame. he reached past you to open the door, instantly ready to go on your explanation. 

“well, yeah, you think i’m going to say no to you?” he asked, smiling, one hand sliding down to slot his fingers with yours. you took his hand quickly, squeezing hard enough that he could feel your heartbeat against his palm. he stopped for a second, looking at you fondly, smile growing even bigger, eyebrows furrowing together “you think i’m going to say no to going to get a drink right now with the person i’ve had a crush on for months?”

</3 </3 </3

it didn’t take long after that for the two of you to become inseparable. you were exactly right, just as maki expected you to be. your first date was flawless, easy. he bought your drinks and he let you buy his and the two of you ended up spending the same amount of money, but it was the gestures that really mattered. 

the only fear that you had going into the date, the only thing you could come up with walking down the cold downtown streets was what if it just felt like you were having a drink with your friend, what if the date label didn’t make it any different, but while you were there, drinking at the quiet end of a quiet bar, it didn’t feel like you were just having a drink with your friend but it didn’t feel like you were on a date either. it felt like you were spending the night at a bar with maki and it was really nice. 

a few minutes after you finished your first drink, maki put his hand on your knee, scooched his chair closer to yours despite the fact that there wasn’t really a need to, no driving factor, no small space to take up because of a crowd or closeness needed because of the noise. you barely noticed it when it happened. it wasn’t weird or out of place. you only really clocked it when he pulled his hand away to pay the bartender for the next round because of the lack of warmth against your leg, a warmth that you quickly realized that you wanted in your life forever. 

you leaned in closer, knees against his as you nudged it under his hand. his fingers wrapped around the top of your thigh, smiling at the contact again as he continued to tell you about his first kiss only because you asked. when you told him about yours, his eyes kept flickering down to your lips, distracted for a few moments before looking back up into your eyes again. 

he didn’t kiss you that night, walked you back to your dorm despite your protests and thanked you very sweetly for agreeing to go out with him and for suggesting that you went out tonight. “i’m not sure how i would’ve lasted until this weekend to go out on a date with you, honestly,” he admitted. 

you didn’t mind though, that he didn’t kiss you right then and there, that he gave you a night to digest what all had happened, to let you sit on it and savor the feeling of transition between friends and something more before making it quite to that something more. 

the following day at lunch was only slightly different. the conversations were the same, the lunch table was the same, the flirting was the same. the only difference was warmth on your knee, the soft touch throughout the hour that didn’t waver for a single second. 

</3 </3 </3

the second date came quickly, a movie on friday night in your dorm, which to be fair, was not an altercation of what your current plans had been anyway, but that didn’t matter. you labeled it as a date and it felt just like watching a movie with maki. the two of you fell asleep in your bed, curled up against each other with soft murmurs of scripted chatter droning in the background. 

the third date came quickly after that, and so did the fourth and the fifth, and somewhere along the tenth or fourteenth date, you started losing track of the count and the lines between you and maki hanging out and you and maki going on a date were super blurred. but by then it didn’t really matter. by then it was just you and maki, the rest didn’t matter.

he didn’t need to ask you to be his girlfriend. the label didn’t mean much, not when the relationship between the two of you was going to stay the same anyway, but he just wanted to be able to call you his girlfriend. that was a good enough reason for you.

“cool, yeah, girlfriend,” you said, nodding along, “sounds cute.”

“sounds cute?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows, “not oh, maki, how romantic or oh, maki, yes, i’d love to be your girlfriend or oh, maki, i can’t wait to be committed to you and only you.” 

“is that what that means?” you asked, stretching your arms upwards before falling backwards onto his bed, head on his pillow. “maybe not then, wanna keep my options open.”

“oh, you’re the worst, you know that?” he said, both arms bracketing your shoulders as he hovered over top of you. he leaned down and pressed a kiss into your mischievous smile. 

“what! what if iwa and oikawa ever break up? gotta catch that rebound,” you teased. 

“i’m gonna tell oikawa,” maki said, chest already lifting to turn and storm out of the room. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulled him into you, kissed him again.

“don’t you dare,” you warned, kissing him again. he kissed you back, laughing against your lips. “not funny.”

“pretty funny,” he said, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face, leaning down to kiss the spot where it used to be. when his laughter ceased, he took a breath, smile constant, but more serious now, “so, will you? be my girlfriend, i mean.”

“oh, maki, how romantic, i’d love to be your girlfriend and be committed to you and only you,” you said, voice low, and despite the fact that it’s supposed to come out as a joke, you can’t help yourself from saying each bit genuinely, sweetly. 

you were, quite honestly, ready to be with him forever.

</3 </3 </3

over the course of two years, you learned to read maki really well, disgustingly well, actually, so well that you knew something was wrong the second that you heard the knock on your dorm door. you wanted to greet him with a, hey, what’s wrong? but he beat you to the first sentence. 

“hey, can we talk?” he asked, standing in your doorway with enough anxious energy to shut down an entire city. 

“hanamaki, you’re terrifying me,” you admitted, honestly, stepping into your dorm room and letting the door fall fast enough for him to catch it. he walked in behind you, locked the door as it closed. 

he let out a light laugh, “well, hey, don’t go throwing my name around like that.” you didn’t laugh back. he didn’t blame you. you sat down on the edge of your bed and he joined you, unsteady exhale leaving him, and then he looked at you.  

if he didn’t say anything else, just looked at you like that for a few more handfuls of seconds, you might not have needed to hear whatever he was going to say. his eyes were soft, features were gentle, and your heart was beating so furiously in your chest that you felt like you were going to pass out. 

he didn’t beat around the bush, didn’t prolong the reason that he came or the thoughts that he had been trying to combat for the past few days. “i’m really so in love with you, but i think that i can’t be in a relationship right now.”

you were quiet, didn’t say anything, just waited for him to explain further, something, anything to calm down your nerves and heart and confusion. “classes are kicking my ass in ways that they weren’t before we started dating and my internship hasn’t even started and i’m really scared that if i keep going like this that i’m going to fall behind for real,” he explained, eye contact steady in a way that his voice isn’t because he knew that you deserved it. 

“i’ve gone through this a lot in my head, on how to do this without breaking up with you, but i can’t. if we’re together, my number one priority will always be you, no matter how hard i try for it not to be, so i think i have to do this,” he said, and he sounded eerily unsure and very sure at the same time. 

you were quiet again, still not saying anything, but not because you needed any further explanation, just because you were waiting for the words to seep into your skin. when they did, when they settled in next to your self-doubt and biggest fears, you could only muster one sentence, “does this mean you’ll just be out of my life?”

he shook his head, hand reaching upwards to cup your face, thumb smoothing over your cheek. “i really hope not,” he replied. “i get it, if it’s too hard to just be friends or if you don’t want to see me for a bit or-”

you shook your head, forehead resting against his as you put your hand on the back of his, fingers curling around his knuckles. the words nearly fought you, clawed at the inside of your throat as you forced them out, “i don’t really want to be without you, hiro.”

he started to say your name, but you shook your head again, harder this time as you finished your sentence, “i get it. i’m not going to fight you on this. if you think this is the only option, i trust you. i can just be your friend. i’ve done it before, y’know?” you were crying, then, as the words left you, because it was really hard not to fight him on this, to just trust him, but you did. 

trusting someone in this capacity hard, but with hanamaki takahiro, everything’s a little bit easier. still, you couldn’t help yourself, couldn’t stop the sentence as it slipped out with a shaky breath, “are you sure?”

it took a few seconds, but he nodded against you, slow as to not disrupt the places where your body was pressed against his. he moved towards you, no longer a few inches separating the two of you, knees bumping against yours, one hand on the top of your thigh. he nodded again, maybe just for him that time.

you took a deep breath. “will you at least stay with me tonight?”

he didn’t hesitate. “of course.”

</3 </3 </3

it was hard slipping back into what you used to be after being what you were for so long. the touches still felt comfortable, warm, like no one communicated to your bodies how different it was supposed to be again. it took a few lunches for your picnic table to not hold as much weight anymore, for both of you to stop glancing over at the initials you had carved into the side.

but you did.

it took a few lapses of judgment for the two of you to stop hooking up after the breakup was official. it took even longer for the two of you to stop stealing kisses behind closed doors in tiny spaces that you would’ve before. neither of you regretted a single instance or a single kiss. 

but you did stop eventually.

hanamaki takahiro taught you not only about love but about letting go in micro doses, about hanging on to certain aspects of your relationship despite changing the makeup of it, about care and closeness that transcends labels. you’re not exactly sure when your relationship slipped back into the way it used to be, or if it ever completely did. 

there were still parts of your relationship that you held onto from your time dating like buying each other’s drinks and holding hands under the picnic table, but there were things from your time dating that you let go of when you let go of the labels like pet names and kissing in public. the you and maki that exists now is different from the one that existed before or the one that existed before that, evolved and bettered by time and mutual love. 

the you and maki that exists now will be different from the one in the future or the one after that or the one after that. different forms and different labels and different people in different situations, but constant, in your life for a really long time, no matter what form. you knew that then. you know it even better now.

♡ tori's polls ♡ ( omg a totally skewed poll of who are you rooting for? )

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join my taglist here!! ~~ (last chapter tomorrow!!! and an epilogue nxt wk) ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

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[spitblaze]

you guys gotta stop shipping 30-year-old men and calling it old man yaoi. 30 is really not old. thats just man yaoi

[puppppppppy]

Bridge to turnabout doodles

[airoarts]

yellowfang, i wish you were here. my sister is dying.

ID in alt and under cut

ID: digital painting of Cinderpelt and Brightpaw from Warriors. They are two cats curled around each other. Brightpaw, a ginger-and-white cat, is badly injured with cobwebs as bandages around her face and other injuries. She is unconscious and lying on her side in a moss nest. Cinderpelt, a gray cat, is curled around her with her tail over Brightpaw's back, looking at her with concern. They are in a shaded den surrounded by autumnal ferns, with a pool of water in the corner, and a strip of bright sunlight illuminating their faces. end ID.

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[mohntilyet]

caterina's datamined character description calling her korean-italian and early lucanis designs having him look east asian . i'll just do everything myself i guess

assorted thoughts: caterina is fully 'korean' or whatever the thedas equivalent would be in this design, and clawed her way to the top of the crow food chain after years of work. their armor is something caterina forcibly incorporated to distinguish house dellamorte from the other crows, and a symbol of their status because they get it custom made or imported. of course race-equivalents do not really exist in thedas or this world but i also will never forget how gaider just implied (east) asian people don't exist in thedas because it just so happens that there are no asians on the continent of thedas (guy who forgot about boats) . explode and die. there's not the same kind of discrimination as exists irl ofc (and the dellamortes are actually treated fine, much better than a mage or elf) but a level of xenophobia against foreigners from a different continent. illario looks the least like her, and passes for being fully antivan, which changes how he is recieved by the other crows.

and sorry if the korean is bad please actually let me know if it's horribly translated i relied on google translate . if you are one of ten asian dragon age fans feel free to talk to me at any given moment.

[ryssbelle]

Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!

Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎

[lilybug-02]

Eimmet High...temmiE high. OMG!

Part 28 || First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

Next update may take...much longer! I have finals and an internship and not to mention I have to draw- A LOT :')

[stormsbourne]

Me up again metaphorically pacing my room thinking about how datv is a game about hard choices that don't have a right or wrong answer (but the answer you choose still shapes you and your relationships the same way it shaped Solas and his own relationships)

and a game about regret for things you had no choice but to do (the same way Solas had no choice but to struggle against the rule of the evanuris including his best friend/lover/elder sister)

and a game about how even then you ultimately did have a choice (the same way Solas could have refused to make the dagger or could have allowed flemythal to do whatever she had planned or could have not tried to tear the veil back down which he knew would kill everybody before it fixed anything)

and a game about how sometimes you do your best and do things for good reasons and you still fuck up and you can't save everybody and people will still be frustrated with you (the same way the veil was an accident and Solas was only able to save a tiny fragment of mythal and even that fragment seems bitter about him holding her there even though he does it out of love)

and a game about what leadership does to its leaders (the same way Solas killed his blighted allies, the same way he betrayed felassan, the same way he ultimately betrayed the shard of mythal in flemeth)

and a game about GRIEF and how rook is trapped in it and not being allowed to move forward by blood magic, and how grief cages you (the same way Solas feels caged by the loss of mythal and he's just as trapped as rook is but it's of his own free will and how he uses rook as a method of self absolution for what he did to Varric)

and how every character arc and story touches on at least one if not multiple of these points and how it's all layered in with area quests, side quests, main story quests, that do the same thing. I'm tired of feeling like I have to qualify my praise of datv with "it has problems" because it's a fucking dragon age game. They are all, in their own ways, hot messes. Each one has its weak hinges and its stress points but the level of sheer thematic cohesion and thought in datv is absolutely fucking unparalleled and I don't think I'm wrong to say so

[hellspawnmotel]

a black spot on the sun

[abstractfrog]

that doesn't sound right but i don't know enough about receiving valentines to dispute it

[rad-roche]

the treatment is rough, the job is difficult, but at least the pay is awful

[puppppppppy]

still on my ace attorney kick. last image based on this post

[ilynpilled]

it frankly pisses me off that what is essentially “rapists and abusers should be depicted as monstrous caricatures because humanizing them is inappropriate” is considered a very moral and enlightened position to have on art by so many people. a rapist can feel pain, have moments of vulnerability, be amiable and charming, express remorse and compassion at times, be a victim themselves, and so on in real life. they are capable of doing good things. they can have different sides to them and have individuals in their lives that they are kind to or have a decent relationship with. they will be a human being, and that fact encompasses a lot. conflating that with the claim that they are entitled to and deserve your forgiveness or absolution is an issue. nurturing a mindset that believes they need to be one note and uncomplicated to be a correct and tasteful depiction of a rapist inadvertently falls in line with the logic of “how could they have possibly raped you? they are so normal and kind to me. they did all these good things here and there.” ok that doesn’t change that they are a rapist.

[the-artist-grimm]

Question about the lamb gender comic seen here. https://www.tumblr.com/the-artist-grimm/762154972241674240/takes-place-about-late-darkwood-probably-about?source=share

Do the Lamb's pronouns ever reroll multiple times in one day, or while they are awake? Also, is there any sort of consistent point at which they reroll, such as every 24 hours or whenever they wake up?

Feel free to info dump on me if I'm horribly misunderstanding this.

The lamb mostly swaps day to day to every few days! Anthea often chats to the kits and Narinder through the crown, so after they help out the first time usually in the mornings the twins will help the lamb play the pronoun game for a bit. (And Narinder will join in too from time to time)

[fernsnailz]

sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol