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the walls are thin - ch7.5
in which maki was your college boyfriend with whom you shared everything. previous | ch7.5 | next (coming soon) [masterlist]
// passionate, silently perfect romantic, unwavering platonic ~ ᴍᴀᴋɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ~ 3176 ᴡᴏʀᴅs
a look into this chapter: 18+ minors dni, absolutely not necessary to read for the plot, just some maki background for my maki bitches, backstory, light angst (they break up that's not a spoiler), flirting, cute scenes, she/her pronouns
join my taglist here!! ~~ (last ch tmrw,, and an epilogue nxt wk) ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡
falling in love with hanamaki takahiro was like waking up to soft sunlight and a gentle morning breeze. you weren’t expecting it to happen, were expecting to wake up to your alarm clock or a frantic knock on your door, didn’t know it was even happening until you were awake. it happened sooner than you thought it would, but it wasn’t jarring, wasn’t abrupt, was slow and patient, unfolded overtime, piece by piece, until one day, it just was.
you had had relationships in the past, high school crushes and senior year flings, but hanamaki takahiro taught you what love was, what it was like to trust a person so deep in your bones that it practically felt like you carried them along with you wherever you went.
but before it was this passionate, silently perfect romantic love, it was an unwavering platonic love, a friendship that didn’t just make sense to the two of you or your closest friends, but anyone you came into contact with. former classmates, semester-long friends, professors, and hallmates, everyone that knew you, knew maki, and everyone that knew maki, knew you.
on your way to class, eating lunch alone for a change, in the grocery store with him an aisle away, you were always met with, “where’s maki?” as if he was a defining characteristic of your personality, as if being without him was life-threatening to you. and the weird thing was that, you didn’t mind the questions. you didn’t feel lesser because a part of you was attached to this incredible person who just made your life better. besides, you did always know where maki was.
hanamaki takahiro was the first real friend you made on campus, not just a college friend that lasted within the confines of your school and town, but someone you instantly knew was going to be in your life for a really long time, no matter what form.
</3 </3 </3
about halfway into the second semester of freshman year, hanamaki takahiro made the only somewhat, maybe it should’ve been a bit more difficult decision to go out of his comfort zone in the name of shifting the labels of your incessant flirting and weekend long hang out sessions.
you were on the way out of his dorm, bag thrown over your shoulder already, shoes already on, goodbye already dissipating from the room, hand reaching towards the door handle when he blurted, “holy shit this is going to be so embarrassing if i read this situation wrong, but would you maybe want to like… go get a drink with me?”
your motions halted, slowly turning to face him as you narrowed your eyes, head tilting to the side out of caution. “like now?” you asked. it was one out of a million other questions you could have asked to understand the exact connotation of the question.
“i mean, sure? that’s not necessarily what i meant,” he said, hand on the back of his neck sheepishly for just a few moments before turning his palm to the sky in a half shrug.
this side of maki wasn’t one that you got to see often, somewhat shy, a little unsure, and you were really loving the way you could see the subtle blooming of a pink tint on the highs of his cheeks. even when you were ruthlessly flirting with him and he was perpetually flirting back, you never got to see this amount of fluster. it was quite adorable.
you leaned your shoulder against his door frame. “then what do you mean, maki?” you asked him, crossing your arms over your chest, only somewhat nervous that he was going to call your bluff. you absolutely knew what he meant.
“i meant, like- like a date?” he clarified.
“you want our first date to be at a bar?” you asked.
his cheeks got even pinker, eyes slightly widened as he tried to recover a bit, “not necessarily, just thought it might be a casual way to ask you out, like we get dinner all the time. we’ve never just gotten drinks as friends, so i thought it would be a bit easier to just-”
“i’m literally fucking with you, maki,” you said, sentence barely leaving your mouth before the corners of your lips turned upwards into a devilishly sweet smile. you didn’t torture him any longer, “of course i’ll go on a date with you. a drink sounds nice.”
“you’re the worst, y’know that?” he replied, exhale of breath expelled as his shoulders relaxed. he ran his fingers through his hair, exhaled once more, and then smiled at you so absolutely genuine with heaps of adoration that you could’ve kissed him right there.
“you’re smiling pretty big for someone who’s going on a date with the worst,” you teased, leaning forward onto the tips of your toes. your chest felt light, skin felt tingly, stomach felt fluttery. how were you supposed to just live like this until you went on your date? “so, are we going now?” you blurted.
he quirked his head. “you- you want to go now? it’s like, 9pm on a wednesday, don’t you have classes tomorrow? and i look like this.”
“what? cute?” you asked, and the funny thing is that it wasn’t any different than you’d normally reply. maki knew that too. “i just think that if we don’t go now, how are we supposed to act tomorrow when we get lunch? like friends? like another date? like friends who are about to go on a date? it’s just easier this way.”
“you want to just get our date out of the way?” maki poked.
“sure,” you replied as if it was a real question. he almost looked slightly taken aback until you followed quickly with, “that way we can set the tone, y’know? figure out that we really like each other sooner, keep flirting with each other, schedule another date, that kinda thing.”
“alright,” he said, walking to the corner of his room to get his jacket, shoving his wallet into his pocket, grabbing his keys. “let’s go then.”
“really?” you asked, eyes bright, standing up straight off of the door frame. he reached past you to open the door, instantly ready to go on your explanation.
“well, yeah, you think i’m going to say no to you?” he asked, smiling, one hand sliding down to slot his fingers with yours. you took his hand quickly, squeezing hard enough that he could feel your heartbeat against his palm. he stopped for a second, looking at you fondly, smile growing even bigger, eyebrows furrowing together “you think i’m going to say no to going to get a drink right now with the person i’ve had a crush on for months?”
</3 </3 </3
it didn’t take long after that for the two of you to become inseparable. you were exactly right, just as maki expected you to be. your first date was flawless, easy. he bought your drinks and he let you buy his and the two of you ended up spending the same amount of money, but it was the gestures that really mattered.
the only fear that you had going into the date, the only thing you could come up with walking down the cold downtown streets was what if it just felt like you were having a drink with your friend, what if the date label didn’t make it any different, but while you were there, drinking at the quiet end of a quiet bar, it didn’t feel like you were just having a drink with your friend but it didn’t feel like you were on a date either. it felt like you were spending the night at a bar with maki and it was really nice.
a few minutes after you finished your first drink, maki put his hand on your knee, scooched his chair closer to yours despite the fact that there wasn’t really a need to, no driving factor, no small space to take up because of a crowd or closeness needed because of the noise. you barely noticed it when it happened. it wasn’t weird or out of place. you only really clocked it when he pulled his hand away to pay the bartender for the next round because of the lack of warmth against your leg, a warmth that you quickly realized that you wanted in your life forever.
you leaned in closer, knees against his as you nudged it under his hand. his fingers wrapped around the top of your thigh, smiling at the contact again as he continued to tell you about his first kiss only because you asked. when you told him about yours, his eyes kept flickering down to your lips, distracted for a few moments before looking back up into your eyes again.
he didn’t kiss you that night, walked you back to your dorm despite your protests and thanked you very sweetly for agreeing to go out with him and for suggesting that you went out tonight. “i’m not sure how i would’ve lasted until this weekend to go out on a date with you, honestly,” he admitted.
you didn’t mind though, that he didn’t kiss you right then and there, that he gave you a night to digest what all had happened, to let you sit on it and savor the feeling of transition between friends and something more before making it quite to that something more.
the following day at lunch was only slightly different. the conversations were the same, the lunch table was the same, the flirting was the same. the only difference was warmth on your knee, the soft touch throughout the hour that didn’t waver for a single second.
</3 </3 </3
the second date came quickly, a movie on friday night in your dorm, which to be fair, was not an altercation of what your current plans had been anyway, but that didn’t matter. you labeled it as a date and it felt just like watching a movie with maki. the two of you fell asleep in your bed, curled up against each other with soft murmurs of scripted chatter droning in the background.
the third date came quickly after that, and so did the fourth and the fifth, and somewhere along the tenth or fourteenth date, you started losing track of the count and the lines between you and maki hanging out and you and maki going on a date were super blurred. but by then it didn’t really matter. by then it was just you and maki, the rest didn’t matter.
he didn’t need to ask you to be his girlfriend. the label didn’t mean much, not when the relationship between the two of you was going to stay the same anyway, but he just wanted to be able to call you his girlfriend. that was a good enough reason for you.
“cool, yeah, girlfriend,” you said, nodding along, “sounds cute.”
“sounds cute?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows, “not oh, maki, how romantic or oh, maki, yes, i’d love to be your girlfriend or oh, maki, i can’t wait to be committed to you and only you.”
“is that what that means?” you asked, stretching your arms upwards before falling backwards onto his bed, head on his pillow. “maybe not then, wanna keep my options open.”
“oh, you’re the worst, you know that?” he said, both arms bracketing your shoulders as he hovered over top of you. he leaned down and pressed a kiss into your mischievous smile.
“what! what if iwa and oikawa ever break up? gotta catch that rebound,” you teased.
“i’m gonna tell oikawa,” maki said, chest already lifting to turn and storm out of the room. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulled him into you, kissed him again.
“don’t you dare,” you warned, kissing him again. he kissed you back, laughing against your lips. “not funny.”
“pretty funny,” he said, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face, leaning down to kiss the spot where it used to be. when his laughter ceased, he took a breath, smile constant, but more serious now, “so, will you? be my girlfriend, i mean.”
“oh, maki, how romantic, i’d love to be your girlfriend and be committed to you and only you,” you said, voice low, and despite the fact that it’s supposed to come out as a joke, you can’t help yourself from saying each bit genuinely, sweetly.
you were, quite honestly, ready to be with him forever.
</3 </3 </3
over the course of two years, you learned to read maki really well, disgustingly well, actually, so well that you knew something was wrong the second that you heard the knock on your dorm door. you wanted to greet him with a, hey, what’s wrong? but he beat you to the first sentence.
“hey, can we talk?” he asked, standing in your doorway with enough anxious energy to shut down an entire city.
“hanamaki, you’re terrifying me,” you admitted, honestly, stepping into your dorm room and letting the door fall fast enough for him to catch it. he walked in behind you, locked the door as it closed.
he let out a light laugh, “well, hey, don’t go throwing my name around like that.” you didn’t laugh back. he didn’t blame you. you sat down on the edge of your bed and he joined you, unsteady exhale leaving him, and then he looked at you.
if he didn’t say anything else, just looked at you like that for a few more handfuls of seconds, you might not have needed to hear whatever he was going to say. his eyes were soft, features were gentle, and your heart was beating so furiously in your chest that you felt like you were going to pass out.
he didn’t beat around the bush, didn’t prolong the reason that he came or the thoughts that he had been trying to combat for the past few days. “i’m really so in love with you, but i think that i can’t be in a relationship right now.”
you were quiet, didn’t say anything, just waited for him to explain further, something, anything to calm down your nerves and heart and confusion. “classes are kicking my ass in ways that they weren’t before we started dating and my internship hasn’t even started and i’m really scared that if i keep going like this that i’m going to fall behind for real,” he explained, eye contact steady in a way that his voice isn’t because he knew that you deserved it.
“i’ve gone through this a lot in my head, on how to do this without breaking up with you, but i can’t. if we’re together, my number one priority will always be you, no matter how hard i try for it not to be, so i think i have to do this,” he said, and he sounded eerily unsure and very sure at the same time.
you were quiet again, still not saying anything, but not because you needed any further explanation, just because you were waiting for the words to seep into your skin. when they did, when they settled in next to your self-doubt and biggest fears, you could only muster one sentence, “does this mean you’ll just be out of my life?”
he shook his head, hand reaching upwards to cup your face, thumb smoothing over your cheek. “i really hope not,” he replied. “i get it, if it’s too hard to just be friends or if you don’t want to see me for a bit or-”
you shook your head, forehead resting against his as you put your hand on the back of his, fingers curling around his knuckles. the words nearly fought you, clawed at the inside of your throat as you forced them out, “i don’t really want to be without you, hiro.”
he started to say your name, but you shook your head again, harder this time as you finished your sentence, “i get it. i’m not going to fight you on this. if you think this is the only option, i trust you. i can just be your friend. i’ve done it before, y’know?” you were crying, then, as the words left you, because it was really hard not to fight him on this, to just trust him, but you did.
trusting someone in this capacity hard, but with hanamaki takahiro, everything’s a little bit easier. still, you couldn’t help yourself, couldn’t stop the sentence as it slipped out with a shaky breath, “are you sure?”
it took a few seconds, but he nodded against you, slow as to not disrupt the places where your body was pressed against his. he moved towards you, no longer a few inches separating the two of you, knees bumping against yours, one hand on the top of your thigh. he nodded again, maybe just for him that time.
you took a deep breath. “will you at least stay with me tonight?”
he didn’t hesitate. “of course.”
</3 </3 </3
it was hard slipping back into what you used to be after being what you were for so long. the touches still felt comfortable, warm, like no one communicated to your bodies how different it was supposed to be again. it took a few lunches for your picnic table to not hold as much weight anymore, for both of you to stop glancing over at the initials you had carved into the side.
but you did.
it took a few lapses of judgment for the two of you to stop hooking up after the breakup was official. it took even longer for the two of you to stop stealing kisses behind closed doors in tiny spaces that you would’ve before. neither of you regretted a single instance or a single kiss.
but you did stop eventually.
hanamaki takahiro taught you not only about love but about letting go in micro doses, about hanging on to certain aspects of your relationship despite changing the makeup of it, about care and closeness that transcends labels. you’re not exactly sure when your relationship slipped back into the way it used to be, or if it ever completely did.
there were still parts of your relationship that you held onto from your time dating like buying each other’s drinks and holding hands under the picnic table, but there were things from your time dating that you let go of when you let go of the labels like pet names and kissing in public. the you and maki that exists now is different from the one that existed before or the one that existed before that, evolved and bettered by time and mutual love.
the you and maki that exists now will be different from the one in the future or the one after that or the one after that. different forms and different labels and different people in different situations, but constant, in your life for a really long time, no matter what form. you knew that then. you know it even better now.
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join my taglist here!! ~~ (last chapter tomorrow!!! and an epilogue nxt wk) ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡
follow my new writing updates tag: #♡ woah! tori's writing update! ♡ (pinned tag!)
#maki x reader#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#i feel weird tagging this as maki stuff#its just backstory#not really its own thing#whatever#twrt!#toriwritesshit
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you guys gotta stop shipping 30-year-old men and calling it old man yaoi. 30 is really not old. thats just man yaoi
#spitblaze says things#im making it its own post bc my partner said the phrase 'man yaoi' is really funny#and im nothing if not a sucker for validation#doin numbers
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yellowfang, i wish you were here. my sister is dying.
ID in alt and under cut
ID: digital painting of Cinderpelt and Brightpaw from Warriors. They are two cats curled around each other. Brightpaw, a ginger-and-white cat, is badly injured with cobwebs as bandages around her face and other injuries. She is unconscious and lying on her side in a moss nest. Cinderpelt, a gray cat, is curled around her with her tail over Brightpaw's back, looking at her with concern. They are in a shaded den surrounded by autumnal ferns, with a pool of water in the corner, and a strip of bright sunlight illuminating their faces. end ID.
#i was thinking about how. brightpaws injury is like the first really difficult patient cinderpelt has on her own after yellowfang dies#and its her sister#but also i went back to read dangerous path and they seem to have. forgot. that they are sisters#like cinderpelt is pretty calm about the whole thing...#seems like a huge missed opportunity for drama#graphic novel adaptation please hear me.#warriors#warrior cats#cinderpelt#brightheart#art#2024#wc
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I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.
#animation#animated film#animated movies#across the spiderverse#across the spider-verse#spiderverse#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots 2#nimona#nimona film#yes i'm posting this specifically because i just watched nimona and am feeling all kinds of things but really these are all PEAK TIER#the fact they have ALL been released within 7 months of each other...like...woah we are thriving right now#stylised animation with its own unique style reflecting the movie i love you forever kissing you on the mouth#films that make me ferally rip up any and all art blocks to shreds#and that's just the animation side of things#i won't get started on the plots. they also make me want to bounce off of walls#hugging all these close to my chest#as well as all the other great animated movies that exist because animation wins all catergories for me always#(let's not forget anime movies either; y'all are beautiful too! keeping 2d animation alive and i'm so here for it)
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Listen, you should never film strangers in public without their consent, but I swear there need to be fines or something for people who do that shit in some spaces. For example: I had to go to the ER last night, and some jerk filmed a woman who just came in and was clearly having an asthma attack. She immediately got to go back, and he was unhappy about that. Believe me, I get that it sucks having to wait when you're in pain, but you don't get to pick who deserves care when. The medical system in the US is a nightmare, and the ER could be the worst moment of someone's life. No one deserves to be recorded because some jack ass believes someone doesn't look like they need care.
This is fine to reblog. People who film strangers should be shamed if nothing else.
#ccyy talks#sorry for posting this here but I'm pissed and this shit really needs to stop#For all I know he recorded me too cause I'm young and look healthy but got to go back next#Sorry about your cough buddy but the way things work I was a more immediate emergency#1k#5k#10k#30k#this post clearly has a life of its own now#and in case someone wants to know some clarifications for common points#people in a position of authority/actively hurting someone with the intent to protect/help the person is fine#so cops doctors nurses mental health workers and educators (to name a few) who actively are abusing their power and authority? free game#this post was filming random ass people for Content(tm)#random ass people more so those in distress aren't your content and you do not know the harm you can do to someone by posting that shit#50k
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Bridge to turnabout doodles
#EDGEWORTH WITH THE CRANE FOLDING IS SO FUNNY AND SO CUTE LOL#and hearing characters react to his glare + his own monologue about it is peak#I wanna revisit the first case after I finish this now that I now abt Diego Armando#I think that whole debacle had to do with dahlia also poisoning him but since I didn’t know much abt him at the time I wanna see again#iris and pearl have similar glaring(?) faces and its really cute#when I went to visit iris again in the detention centre after poking around the temple i was startled when gumshoe followed me LOL#I guess hes kind of like my substitute for maya???#and they voiced edgeworths take that line when I had to use the Magatama thats so neat!!!!#I squinted and they did the same thing for the dialogue button and talk screens- his silhouette is where phoenix’s would be#I thought that was a really nice subtle touch#doodles#my art#myart#ace attorney#aa#trials and tribulations#bridge to turnabout#im still really early in the case though#mia fey#iris fey#diego armando#dick gumshoe#miles edgeworth#phoenix wright
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Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!
Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎
#my art#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanart#style mimic#sorry for the @s btw#yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also#this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made#i think they all got together and drew with one another#which is really cool#but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot#and ive seen others do it too so i was just like#wow they really know each others styles really well#until i thought about it and read their posts some more#style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice#and a good way to explore other ways of doing things#like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone#also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit#so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it#anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont#but ye#i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like#ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while#sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style#so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic#Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy#being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another#buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects#so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref#as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one
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Love a self-inflicted time loop. The main character isn’t trapped. They can stop whenever they want. But how can they when things aren’t perfect yet? They can do better than this. They need to try again. They can get it right this time. They just need to try again. They can stop anytime they want. Just one more time. They can fix this. They just need to try again. There are still things to fix. They just need to try again.
#time travel#its about the tunnel vision#its about losing sight of what a win condition even looks like#its about writing off the entire timeline at the slightest inconvenience#its about increasing alienation#its about failing to notice that youre destroying yourself and in some cases making things worse#its about the atrophy of your own problem solving skills#its about treating your friends like unskippable cutscenes#its about gradually forgetting everything outside the loop#its about the fact that you arent even really trapped#its about making the same choice over and over again#its about falling hard into the sunk cost fallacy
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when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me
#in terms of alternate gameplay and lack of reliance on plot#i feel like melody of memory is the closest thing kh has actually had to a spinoff#but even that is important in its own way in the end#union cross to a certain degree as well what with being an online multiplayer gacha type game#its original concept i would definitely classify as a spinoff game#bc it was set in a totally different world and time period and was supposed to be about customization and fun with friends#and nomura or someone said it wasn’t meant to be connected to the plot#but then like. he did very much go and give it a plot. like he went back on that almost immediately#and even then. given that the game is still very much combat and exploration#even from the beginning can it really be called a spinoff? it’s just kh in a different format#i’m talking like a game in which the objective is something totally different.#racing game or cooking game or fighting game or (another) rhythm game#ace attorney style detective game. dancing game. dude i don’t know#there are so many different flavors they could go with here#alas nomura is allergic to genuine whimsy which is hilarious given that this is a disney series#like he apparently was like ‘ohhh should we really let sora in smash? would it make sense in the story?’#my brother in christ surely we’re not supposed to interpret this as canon to kh right? right????#i guess it’s just that the kh franchise has a very specific pristine vibe he wants to maintain#which is disney shenanigans as a seasoning on top of a main dish of Stone Cold Serious Anime Plot#kingdom hearts#kh#mine: kh
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Eimmet High...temmiE high. OMG!
Part 28 || First || Previous || Next...(Hiatus)
--Full Series--
Next update may take...much longer! I have finals and an internship and not to mention I have to draw- A LOT :')
#Golly!#this is a shorter update but I wanted it to be that way. We've been in the house for a while. It's time to change some scenery!!#Chara using their game narrator voice like “golly!” and “amazing!”#Eimmet high :)) i was really hoping to be able to reference Temmie Chang here. An integral part of UT/DR!! She's awesome!#WE ARE OFFICIALLY ON Day 2 BABY#yes- there is still a little everyman easter egg as well as some other things... ;)#I tried so many new and different things for these panels. I was a little nervous implementing them. But im having a lot of fun with it!#i try to put my own artistic enjoyment above all other things :) its what I strive for.#Angle's landing day! excited for the festivities!#Chara is feeling stabby :)#loved detailing Chara's hand in the last page. When I detail the hands- just know shits getting real#I'm really happy with how I was able to redraw Toriel here. She showed up in the second part and that was it for 2 years -w-#so even if she's not a major character- I wanted to give her some good screen time <3#I did not make the Darkworld “Mayor” just for that one joke....but dang did it fit perfectly.#these 4 pages took longer than I wanted. I got burnt out with school and then finals came!!! AND ALSO EMAILS q-q#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#chara#asriel#kris#susie#toriel#tw cursing#cw cursing
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a black spot on the sun
#metropolis 1949#metropolis manga#tezuka star system#mitchy#kenichi#art tag#i dont think i consider metropolis a must-read unless youre a hardcore tezuka fan but it IS a very interesting one#especially as a fan of astro boy metropolis 2001 AND metropolis 1927#mitchy is the son of fritz lang's false maria and the mother of atom#and the whole work is a fascinating reminder of the cyclical and referential nature of all art#(not to say metropolis 1949 doesnt have value standing on its own- it totally does and i really enjoyed reading it)#(but it's almost impossible to look at completely on its own given its place in this long chain of things vaguely inspired by each other)#(all of which are much more well-known)
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the treatment is rough, the job is difficult, but at least the pay is awful
#fallout 4#fo4#nick valentine#fallout#rochedotpng#there is a timelapse for this one but i'm doing something with it. it'll need its own post. you'll see#really happy with the colours on this one#no nick don't lament the state of things aha... ur so sexy aha#dead man talking
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it frankly pisses me off that what is essentially “rapists and abusers should be depicted as monstrous caricatures because humanizing them is inappropriate” is considered a very moral and enlightened position to have on art by so many people. a rapist can feel pain, have moments of vulnerability, be amiable and charming, express remorse and compassion at times, be a victim themselves, and so on in real life. they are even capable of doing good things. they can have different sides to them and have individuals in their lives that they are kind to or have a decent relationship with. they will be a human being, and that fact encompasses a lot. conflating that with the claim that they are entitled to and deserve forgiveness or absolution is an issue. nurturing a mindset that believes they need to be one note and uncomplicated to be a correct and tasteful depiction of a rapist inadvertently falls in line with the logic of “how could they have possibly raped you? they are so normal and kind to me. they did all these good things here and there.” ok that doesn’t change that they are a rapist.
#and its always said by fiction affects reality warriors ok this affects victims bc they will have doubts about their abuse and#about their own abuser because they are not the boogeyman#there was this pretty heartbreaking post by an abuse survivor who put this into words#its one of those things where it feels like the intention is good but it does more harm to victims than the perpetrators really#im not saying its impossible to have a tasteless depiction of a rapist but u guys just project that idea onto shit where it doesnt apply#if something explores the reality and consequences of their actions and the impact on the victims without downplaying it or ignoring it#then this critique just holds no water to me#idgaf if they r humanized ive seen their actions and just because they have a solitary other dimension doesnt mean i feel pressured#to forgive or absolve them lmao?#(as in the piece of art in question is not advocating for that)#cw rape
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Question about the lamb gender comic seen here. https://www.tumblr.com/the-artist-grimm/762154972241674240/takes-place-about-late-darkwood-probably-about?source=share
Do the Lamb's pronouns ever reroll multiple times in one day, or while they are awake? Also, is there any sort of consistent point at which they reroll, such as every 24 hours or whenever they wake up?
Feel free to info dump on me if I'm horribly misunderstanding this.
The lamb mostly swaps day to day to every few days! Anthea often chats to the kits and Narinder through the crown, so after they help out the first time usually in the mornings the twins will help the lamb play the pronoun game for a bit. (And Narinder will join in too from time to time)
#the crown is both its own sentient creature thing AND a living webcam XD#Zoom calls with the cats~#Where poor Narinder is both loving and hating (nah he loves it lol) how excited the kits get-they actually act like proper children#And the kits can't help it they really love their *totally* just older sibling figure who *definitely* hasn't become their 2nd parent#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl aym#cotl baal#my art#crimson angel au#anthea#cult of the lamb narinder#ask
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sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol
#it's been kinda hard for me to pinpoint WHY exactly these sort of comments feel insulting#but i think it's mostly because it implies my original work is purposefully and inherently derivative of things i have no connection to#while i think being derivative in art is. kinda unavoidable in a sense (and something i'm aware i do consciously and unconsciously)#it feels like a slap in the face when people imply that my work cannot hold its own merit and need to be compared to#something in the popular conscious#and like sometimes people don't know it's original art which is fine#but it also doesn't hurt to ask if it's original instead of just. immediately assuming or comparing it to something else#i know this will only get more difficult as i continue to drift away from fanart and fan works#but i really want to be able to be proud of my original work and i want to share more! because it's a part of me!!#but its really hard when it feels like i'm always going to be compared to things people care about more!!!! AAAUGH#god. ok sorry i need to get that off my chest. if anyone compares computer angel to TMA again im gonna start eating drywall#fern's sketchbook
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I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.
#Better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own.#In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece.#Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot!#Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional.#I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of.#LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated.#He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief.#Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation.#He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable.#Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him.#Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy.#Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief.#It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.
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