#not really a ground breaking thought
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here's a thought: we all know by now that scene in furina's demo where she imitates other archons on the swing yeah?
i had the thought while watching it again,, what if she studied up on other nation's lores particularly how their archons (and other highly revered beings, ex, adepti) are like or how they are depicted in human literature and historical writings?
like... she had absolutely no idea how to be a god, and an actor does need to be acquainted with their role to ne able to portray and embody it... call it role study lol
#tulip brainrots#furina#furina de fontaine#not really a ground breaking thought#but. it just struck me#thats how shes able to imitate the other archons well in that pv and have the audience cheer for her#ofc w her skill she'd be able to improv something without but yk#she did her Homework#and on that note#since she was desperately trying to find solutions to the prophecy wherever she can#she definitely knows a lot of things...#furina might know a lot of teyvat lore even the forbidden ones#maybe. dont quote me on the forbidden ones but i know my girlie knows a lot more than she lets on#alternatively i am overthinking#in which case please leave me to my delusions
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I have given into peer pressure.
Below the cut is my un-referenced, not proofread, off-the-cuff thoughts on the main JJK characters and their tendencies to have traits that contradict themselves, which not only makes them more rounded characters but also creates a really interesting situation in which characters have mirrors and foils not only with other characters, but also with themselves.
The point of this post is that the characters in JJK are complex. None of them are one-trick ponies and all of them contain multitudes and have, at least once, contradicted themselves and their beliefs.
Might be spoilery? I tried to keep it vague enough that it shouldn't be, but read at your own risk if you're anime only, I guess.
The Obvious One: Gojo
Gojo is "the strongest." It's debatable, I think, whether or not being "strong" is a personality trait, but he makes it his defining personality trait. (And I'm not here to do a Gojo character study, so for my purposes, it will be viewed as one.) Obviously, The Strongest is a title given to him by others, but he fully owns it and believes it. This is his identity; it's how he views himself, how he handles himself, and it is a preceding reputation that he gladly leans into. It's not a mask he hides behind, it's a flag he proudly displays on his ship to warn others of exactly who they're dealing with.
It makes sense, then, that Gojo's self-contradiction is that he has the biggest, most obvious weaknesses of all the characters in JJK. The first of these weaknesses is his knowledge of how strong he is. Toji exploits that weakness in the Hidden Inventory arc, and it almost costs Gojo is life. His second weakness is, very simply, Geto. Kenjaku exploits that weakness during Shibuya. Interestingly, Geto is a victim of Gojo's first weakness (Gojo is so self-assured that he seems to extend that assurance to the people around him, thinking that they are "as gods" like him just for being in his presence, and therefore he does not pay mind to Geto's spiraling), and exploits his second. He, better than anyone else, knows that he is Gojo's weakness, and he uses that knowledge to do everything he does before and during JJK 0 without repercussions.
Gojo is framed by himself and by many characters within JJK as being the "savior" of the jujutsu world, but in many ways he was, in fact, its downfall - because of his strength, and because of his weaknesses.
The Main One: Yuuji
Yuuji is the king of contradictions to me. Not all of it is within himself, and in fact a lot of it occurs because a large part of the plot is happening to him instead of the other way around, but he has one dichotomy that I do think is All Him. Yuuji defines himself as a cog - in his thoughts, he has been used and beaten down for evil already, so why not just be used for good as well. He thinks of himself as expendable and easily replaced; a foot soldier in a war being fought by titans. At some point, his goal stopped being to follow his grandfather's last request and instead turned into the simple act of persevering for as long as he can just in case anyone may have need of him. In a way, his outlook and perspective on everything became rather bleak and inhuman - quite literally, as, again, he views himself as nothing more than a cog.
And yet, for someone who has claimed his only purpose is to be used to kill Sukuna, everything Yuuji does is so achingly desperately human and is born out of his own desires to save people. Every other sorcerer has a CT or a fighting style that disconnects them from their foe - be that ranged attacks or weaponry - but Yuuji uses his fists. It's raw and almost savage in a way that is unavoidably intimate and human. He says, "Use me," (and, don't get me wrong, he is used) but even the act of offering himself negates the connotations that revolve around being used and shines such a lovely warm human light on him.
Yuuji doesn't push people away. The other "strong" characters isolate (Gojo has infinity, Yuuta literally fucks off from the narrative, Geto fucks off from jujutsu society, etc.), but Yuuji hoards people and connections (and yes, those become weaknesses, but the thing is: they become strengths, too). Sukuna takes Megumi away from him, but that just makes Yuuji more determined to kill Sukuna and get Megumi back. Everything he does is out of love, and he has a drive to do what he has to in order to save (or avenge) the people he keeps close. That's not exactly cog-like behavior.
The Fandom Discourse: Megumi
In my opinion, of all the characters (but especially the first-years), Megumi is the logical character. Especially when it comes to his job as a sorcerer (fighting and killing curses). He is knowledgeable about the world of sorcery, the most book-smart of the first-years, and he is smart and methodical when he fights.
He is also the only character who has openly admitted that he really only cares about saving the people he wants to save, as opposed to the general rhetoric of saving everyone. He's selfish, and he's not shy about it. Even he doesn't try to rationalize it; it's just part of who he is. Logical, methodical, smart, but also deeply, truly, selfish when it comes to where and how he expends his energy and efforts.
And yet, he is also the character who is most willing to die. Now, before half the fandom jumps down my throat, I don't mean to say that he wants to die or that he is constantly trying to - I'm just saying that he is willing to. (Obviously, Yuuji is also a character who is willing to die, but Yuuji is only willing to do so if it would also kill Sukuna, and he is determined to stay alive until such a time. Megumi, on the other hand, doesn't have a similar end-goal ultimatum for death). Yes, he comes at dying from a logical point of view, and yes, he only ever brings martyrdom into the equation if he feels he has no other option, but he has no hesitation when he reaches that point. And you (he) can rationalize self-sacrifice as much as you want to, but that is a very emotionally driven response, regardless of the situation. It's a last stand not only for himself, but for his friends, his family, the world. It's the end of the line for him, and it's something he is willing to do if it means taking out his opponent and making the world safer for everyone else - not just for his "select" people.
He is willing to run away from a fight he cannot win, but he is also willing to do something that he knows for sure will kill him if winning and running are no longer options. And I know that not everyone will see these things as opposites or all that detached from each other, but, to me, intelligent and methodical fighting does not naturally go hand in hand with, essentially, grappling your opponent and jumping off a cliff with them.
The Favorite Child: Yuuta
Like Gojo, Yuuta has access to an overwhelming amount of power. There's no doubt that when it comes to raw energy, he is the strongest sorcerer in his generation. He's exceptionally skilled when it comes to fighting and is often able to get by on simply overpowering his opponents (truly, much like Gojo). He doesn't embody being strong, though - he knows that he is, but it's not something that he considers a defining trait for himself. Instead, Yuuta's whole thing is that he has a tendency to shoulder burdens that other people won't (much like Yuuji, actually) (also it's kind of funny because of all the characters in JJK, I would consider Yuuta to be a "cog" way more than Yuuji, but that's a whole other thing). Yuuta is willing to be a monster, to make hard calls and suffer the consequences, because he has internalized what everyone keeps telling him - that, after Gojo, Yuuta is now "the strongest."
Which means that Yuuta also needs an equally large weakness to balance out that power. But where Gojo had arrogance (and his boyfriend), Yuuta has innocence. There's this pure sort of worldview that Yuuta carries with him that completely counterbalances the part of him that is willing to get his hands bloody. He has this youthful sort of hopefulness and naiveté that if he does the dirty work and puts in effort, then things will work out in his favor because they must. If he is sincere, if he shoulders an unbearable mantle, then everything will be fine simply because he chooses to do so. He does things because they are right and just, and he wants to believe that the universe will acknowledge that and be fair - even though he wouldn't have to do these unnamable things if that was true.
The Less Obvious one: Nobara
Nobara doesn't have a lot of screen time compared to the others, and specifically not a lot of time spent planning for/fighting in the "big fights," but she has one thing that the other characters don't have: self awareness. Nobara is the only character who knows what her contradictions are - she even says them out loud.
She wants nothing more than to be a normal girl who is into fashion, who could be a model, who does her hair and her nails and her makeup, who goes on dates, who has a lot of money and spends it freely. That's her ideal, that's her goal. But that's also who she is right now. She dyes her hair, wears makeup, is feminine in all the ways that would mark her as a girl to strangers on the street, goes shopping and buys too much and makes Yuuji carry her bags. She likes being girly and doesn't shy away from it.
But she is also, and I mean this with all the love in my heart, a feral little gremlin who is willing to bash people's skulls in with a hammer. She's brash and rude and loud. She takes up space and is unapologetic about it. She's vicious on the battlefield. She's not afraid to get bloody, and she hates being viewed as a damsel in distress. She's strategic in her fights, and she uses the fact that opponents underestimate her to her advantage. And she knows all of this, too, and she likes it.
She's self-actualized <3 No notes from me; I love my girl.
Anyway, that's it KSJDBVJKLDFVBJKDFVB There's no real point to this. I'm not saying anything profound, I don't think. This was all just a thought that I had, a little thing that I noticed, and I was bullied (affectionate) into sharing.
#i wipe my hands of this i don't want to look at it anymore#i have so many thoughts at all times. not all of them are ground breaking. i just like characters and i think gege does good work#i don't even remember what i was originally thinking about that prompted this. probably yuuji if i'm being honest#something about his resignation to be a cog and yet his ferociousness when he fights really just. clicks something in my head#like so sorry my guy you can't just say you're a tool with a single function and then fight like a cornered animal who is desperate to live#without me wanting to pull out a magnifying glass#also gojo is. well. he's gojo. annoyingly one of the most complex characters i have ever seen JSBCVJKDVB#yuuta is always fun to look at because he was Not There and then Very Suddenly There#also if anyone fucking comes for me about my megu thoughts i'm going to start throwing knives <3#i'm tired of seeing megumi discourse that's like 'he is one or the other' like no babes he's Both actually. accept it into your hearts#fandom spaces let characters be complex challenge#anyway. hiiiii KJDSBVJKBDVJKDBFV#jjk
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Pain
A comic about my chronic pain experience.
#comic#dragon#chronic pain#scoliosis#back pain#I don't really know how to classify it but chronic pain feels right for me#Been thinking about this a lot since my pain has been amplified the past week -- spring break woe :(#But I also like drawing my dragon Snuffles. He probably has bad back pain too#But this is also for my college's comic anthology which is due in like 12 hours so very last minute idea#HEHEHEHEH inspiration will strike where it may#Kodi Draws#Snuffles#Illustration#Also more thoughts#It was nice to not be nitpicky about lettering. so freeing!#The writing is also more geared towards the folk who will read the anthology (students at my college)#But! it was very fun to work on#and I'm glad I can do simplified art like this easily enough. but my back is screaming so on the ground i go
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so what if i go insane and draw diakko as these panels
#so like we know how akko probably has low self-esteem post chariot reveal right#like she went all this way only to find out everything she knew was a fraud#but still powers thru lona and sorta has semi-self deprecating thoughts like kana has occasionally#diana doesnt comfort her and they get into a fight and it turns into this#*twirls hair* so like i just wanna make them suffer~#diana is so hellbent on repressing her feelings that inadvertently plummets akko's own self esteem#but akko's own source of comfort of self is that diana considers her a friend and rival but then diana avoids her and starts dating andrew#and akko's own sense of self gets WORSE and she doesnt find much to comfort#knowing it was all for naught because what she thought she had in her was just stolen long ago#like sure she saved magic and all but like it was surely traumatic for her#so wants something to confide in that no it wasnt a mistake#BUT THEN DIANA just doesnt interact with her anymore#and she tries her hardest to befriend her again after their rocky start and thought diana would be ok but then#uh oh diana catches feelings and stays away and akko's heart just breaks when diana does anything and everything to avoid her#akko after diana pushes her to the ground: do you... really hate me that much?#“youre right im still so stupid diana im sorry i wont talk to you again”#and diana just sits there in the rain like shinji on the chair LOL#diakko#aqukana#lwa#onk#little witch academia#oshi no ko#diana cavendish#akko kagari#hoshino aqua#arima kana#*eats this panels like peter eating burger meme* exquisite angst *gets food poisoning*
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How do you ask someone out with plausible deniability lmao like do you just ask them to dinner or something or is that too obvious ahskamskls
#not snz#this is so fucking embarrassing ahskakksl I'm never gonna recover#breaking my one and only rule of not trying to date my coworkers#AND HE'S NOT EVEN INTO ME 😭😭#idk idk there's just something about him#maybe it's still in my head bc he's been nice to me when I've been feeling like shit idk#i just like being around him so much but maybe that's my daddy issues AHDKAKZKA#idk#it's probably for the best if i just forget about it tho#i mean I'm really not super into the idea of physically having sex as it is and i think most people require that#someone tell me to drop it lmao I'm just being delusional about it at this point#fuck idk I'm just gonna sit here and think my thoughts#grounding myself until i can behave lmao#also I'm working tomorrow 😭😭
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last night couldve been kind of a rock bottom moment, but luckily i didnt mean to do any of that weird shit like go on a walk at 10pm and get super drunk, and walk like 2 miles out of my neighborhood and get lost, and i DEFINITELY didnt mean to fall asleep on my porch for 15 minutes as soon as i stumbled my way to my place. and lose one of my airpods. if i meant to do any of that it wouldve been bad but i didnt so we dodged a bullet there
#i didnt realize how far gone i was until i couldnt read the map on my phone .#and im really sore bc when im drunk i walk like. really hard. like im trying to break the ground#basically running around in the dark singing n telling jokes to myself and i thought this would be a good healthy activity but i have#to ruin everything by drinking
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me when I follow someone with a belief system I usually try to stay away from because it usually comes with a happy helping of batshit bigotry but I really wanted to learn more about the actual valid points associated with it and see if there was any merit to it outside of the bigoted bullshit but they inevitably end up pissing me off by reblogging the most ignorant out of pocket bigotry and I should've fucking known but I really wanted to keep an open mind for once and I only brought this on myself
#i really feel like they can be fixed though. like i think we can reach a middle ground#i really thought they weren't that red pilled#but whatever. im on break i have time to critically engage with this bs and learn so i will not unfollow them. for now#even if they're making my blood boil#vagueposting the shit out of tumblr dot com#god i sound like a fucking centrist out of context but it's. nothing like that dw#im not engaging with like. a bhakt or something dont worry lol#but this is genuinely something i want to learn more about because it feels like a very natural trajectory for anyone to go down under the#wrong circumstances you know#and i guess i want to strengthen my beliefs either way
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when my roommates put things back in the kitchen incorrectly it makes me frustrated and angry. apparently, did you know, this is not a thing all or most humans experience ? some people don't have an intense emotional reaction to things not being stacked in the optimal way, or pans not being put back in their "usual" spot. did you know this. did you.
#personal#I'm having an online interview on autism tomorrow and so I'm researching and reflecting more#not like this is ground breaking or anything but just. it's interesting to me that this typically doesn't elicit an emotion for people.#I've been crying a lot over autism videos#I haven't had a chance to process my diagnosis yet really and there's still so much for me to learn and accept about autism#like feeling shame and guilt bcs of disability has been a huge problem for me lately. not being able to accomplish what I want to.#and seeing videos of other autistic ppl who were really attached to the idea of who they would become when they got older#or identified a lot with who they were while masking#and now have to let go of those things. and figure out who they actually are and are capable of doing without burnout.#whoof man. its a lot. i still haven't let go of who i thought id be when i grew up. to the extent that said struggle is part of my identity.#it's just. I am autistic. several medical professionals familiar with autism saw me and went 'yeah you are autistic'.#I spent so long learning how to better cope with my depression.#and it turns out some of that advice is opposite to what you need if its autistic burnout instead#which im gonna assume i just kinda had both going on at various times#i just. im not sure what to do with my life.#but i guess first i have to make my life more baseline liveable and enjoyable before i start pondering that#change is hard. basically. thats what this was about.
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This post was on my dash and at first I was like "Haha nice!"
But then the more of the prompts I read the more I was like
Hang on
Hmm.
#YEAH BABEY ITS VIRTUAL GROUND AGAIN#Virtual Ground#reblog#not art#when I was starting to devise this idea I was intentionally trying to break some stereotypes because I thought it'd be fun#but uh some of these just happened organically#like hate on first sight#strangers to enemies#and fake amnesia#REALLY NICE GUY WHO HATES YOU#IS SO FUNNY#CAUSE THATS ROY#HE'S REALLY NICE BUT HE JUST FUCKING HATES HER#they really are like. destined to be with each other (in the grander sense of their lives keep converging#but in the most wrong way possibble#anyway this gave me a sensible chuckle
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dating me would have fun perks such as
kissing and biting
t-girl cringe
passionate infodumping
unfortunately, I live in Finland and actively dating is fucking terrifying
#really breaking new ground here I know#'ooo aaa local tumblr tgirl is cringefail and touch starved'#never heard that before#but I accidentally thought about kissing and biting and goddamn I need some intimacy in my life but... ;-;
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...
#uuuuummmmmm hypomania? bitch what? like huh? huh?????????#fucking hello???? like that's fucking like clearing whats happening at this moment#like i mean. im still grounded but like high energy. notably elevated mood. deminished need for sleep. im like fucking on right now#and but like i really really should not b. like hello?#but like its weird bc like what does that mean? like it happens every so often like too much energy that feels unhinged#but like it doesnt really affect my life too much it just feels kinda wild and upsetting to me bc its like not in control#but like i mean right now this is notable with respect to what i normally experience. like energy higher and mood higher than normal#like its midnight and im not even a little tired after having a fucking week like what???#not looking forward to when this breaks and i crash. but like whats the pattern her? how long has this been happening?#im gonna have to start tracking my mood bc idk i feel like im noticing it more now. like i dont remember this happening always cyclically#and like in the past it usually lasts like a day or ill have a few days where im like high energy but also fried and kinda up and down#but like im not going like full on way way high for long periods of time. but its hard to tell bc i have so much emotional dissonance#like ill have this like frantic energy while im standing completely still and i wanna grin in an unhinged way but its black static down#thr middle. so its like am i happy? and i depressed? fucking idk. im usually mostly depressed i think as a product of being so anxious all#the time. i don't usually go super low out of nowhere. i mean. i think its more linked to hormore stuff but i also think this is as well#idk its weird just. thoughts. i should start tracking my mood and ya kno also probably talk to a doctor#but like im about to lose my parents health care as i turn 26 and also fucking atrocious executive function#issues. like. it feels like my brain has holes in it. or i heard my lab mate say she was worried she had a brain tumor#bc its just like. something is not functional in the way its supposrd to be. ya kno? but like its fine#i mean. its not fine but like its fine#sigh. god im gonna forget to track this shit. like im already like my braun is disintegrating in my skull#can i pls be exused from being an adult while i have some sort of episode lol. but like idk#itll b fine. ive got a level head and an analytical brain and big control issues so i can keep myself on the rails#dispite the trashfire haha. ugh wtf do i do tonight tho. lay here abd try to sleep i guess#hope the mood stays up tomorrow so i dont like collapse into a puddle#ay ay ay. interesting. very interesting#im like a commit pinging around. a pinball bounding of those little pin thingys. ill meet with my boss Tuesday like yooooooo#idk if u havent clearly noticed but ive been a bit ya kno emotionally#unstable ✌️ or maybe ill b back to my normal sad sack self by then lol. idk weird vibes. real weird vibes but good 4 now#unrelated
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.
#2022 was such a long and grief filled year#ever since I became an adult I’ve felt like an acrobat on a tightrope far above the ground#I thought I’d die if I fell#if I made any mistakes it would be over I’d have ruined my life#and then it happened- I fell#dropping out of college seemed like a really big failure at the time (though it has since proven to be one the best things I’ve done)#and my parents were there to help me pick up the pieces#they were the safety net below me that I couldn’t see#and then when I became a mom I felt like I was failing every single day#and every single day I knew I could at least call my parents and they’d be there to cry to and ask for advice#over and over again they caught me and I became less afraid of falling#but last year my dad died and it changed everything#it completely yanked the safety net out from under me#sure I have my mom but she’s a completely different person now#she tries so hard and does so much for us but losing my dad has had a profound effect on her and I can’t ask her to catch me#I worry it’ll break her#so there I was on the tightrope without a net this time#and then we found out we were having our third child- not unwanted but completely the wrong time#I fell again and this time it felt like the world came crashing down#suddenly my life was far too big and I had to shrink it all the way down so I could get out of bed#I didn’t talk to anyone except my partner and my mother#it was the only way I could give everything I have to my kids#but I didn’t have the capacity to maintain friendships and I lost them as well#and now I’m doing a lot better but I don’t know how to grow my life again and be okay inviting people back in#partly because I’m not sure if I may have hurt anyone and if I did then I don’t deserve to just come back#but also because I don’t know that anyone actually noticed or cared and it would be pathetic to draw attention now if no one cared#I’m comfortable with the world being small right now- it’s safer- but my kids deserve better#they deserve friends and they can’t have friends right now if I don’t socialize#I’m not sure how to do this#but I hit the ground and I didn’t die and now it’s time to climb back up and try again
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Ok I watched. The one horror movie on his filmography and that was um. That was um.
#It's one of those really grounded ones which have to potential to actually freak me out more than any other kind of horror movies#(like green room)#where there is nothing at all supernatural or paranormal or even just over the top#It's abt a couple of hyperpatriotic veterans living in the woods and posing as customs agents who stop a group of americans#coming back from Canada and. keep them in cages and torture them until they die to ''protect the country'' or whatever#And like yes until they all die. Off screen. there's no resolution whatsoever and no ''final girl'' or anything#And it does a weird thing where you stop seeing any of them like 20 or more minutes before the movie ends and it completely switches over#to following the private investigator sent to search for them and establishes a lot of stuff about him 😭 AND THEN HE JUST DIES TOO?#I wouldn't necessary care about no one ''winning'' if the villains weren't so expressly bigoted ig#Micheal's character specifically has a ''muslim sounding name'' so he gets constantly tormented over being a ''terrorist'' throughout#the whole thing and it seemed like he was being set up as like the. The Hardest One To Break or something so I was really expecting#him to turn the situation around or at least be the last one standing but#No they all just got killed at an unspecified point off screen I guess and the last shot of the movie is#one of the freaks cleaning out the shipping container they died in for the next batch of subpar americans to get killed in I guess#Like ok the bleakness was intentional ofc but it also just felt like. Well what was the point of all that then#ALL OF THT BEING SAID I actually liked it more than I thought I was going to based on the description 😭
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why did the person i went on a one off date with in paris just send me instagram dms including a voice note.. absolutely nothing against them they were very lovely but i just assumed we'd mostly cut contact after i literally left the country a day after our date? maybe talk if we'd ever be in the same place again you know!
#sigh#lesbians#(affectionate and derogatory)#and we had nice but it wasn't ?? a ground breaking date on this level#and it's been like 2 weeks#i guess they were more into me than i thought lol#and it's ofc fine i just don't really have the energy for this rn#not the personal posting#l
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Well I guess I can cross get stuck in an elevator off my bucket list
#ive been at work for 15mins#this is one of those things that i didnt really want to happen but also thought itd be kinda funny if it did#and im right it is kinda funny#im also by myself which im chill with#now i just gotta wait#im sitting on the ground chillin rn#you prolly wont hear from me until my break but i will let you know that i got freed
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ONE LAST TIME, R. SUNA
sum. two months into your relationship with your current boyfriend, your ex-fwb finally sends you a voicenote to let you know exactly how he feels about it.
feat. rintarou suna
cw. ex-fwb!suna, cheating, mutual masturbation (kinda lol), jealousy, dirty talk, anal mention, pillow humping, possessiveness, degradation
wc. 1.2k
When you posted your first official pictures of you and your new boyfriend, you had expected Suna to react…negatively. You basically braced for impact the moment you hit post, but all you got from him was an Instagram notification and two texts.
sunarin liked your post.
rin ;)
lmk if you want me to delete our pics. and hmu when you two break up :p
You never bothered replying, initially not sure how to reply, and then forgetting about the texts entirely. The two of you barely have any contact for a few weeks after that, but he's obviously keeping up with your socials; liking every post and viewing every story. It doesn't bother you, but it's weird going cold turkey on your relationship like that. You had expected him to reach out for some sort of closure. You wanted him to.
Halloween swings by in no time, and (much to you boyfriend’s dismay) you dress up as a sexy nurse. You don’t remember much of the night, but you do know that you posted a picture of you and your friends all dressed up on your story before getting blackout drunk.
Your phone dies early on in the night. Your friends take good care of you up until it’s time to bring you back home, and you don’t wake up until the afternoon. You don’t check your phone until a couple hours after that—long after it's been turned on and charged to 100%.
When you finally check it, two particular notifications catch your attention.
sunarin liked your story.
rin ;)
Voice Message
The voice message is 12 minutes long.
You exit your texts immediately, opting to distract yourself by tending to your other notifications. It doesn’t help much. Your mind races, wondering what he was talking about for so long and if it was really so important that he reached out after almost four months of near-silence.
You toss your phone onto your bed, shaking your head. You try to ignore it, cleaning the bathroom and folding the laundry and vacuuming the living room all in an effort to forget about the lengthy recording sitting in your phone.
But it doesn’t take long for the curiosity gnawing at you to win.
You practically run back to your bedroom, grabbing your phone and sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed. Your fingers move quickly across the screen, hitting play without hesitation.
The first 8 seconds are nearly silent, and you start to wonder if it’s possible that he sent such a long message by mistake.
But then you hear a heavy sigh.
“I like your costume.” His tone is hushed, like he’s telling you a secret. “You look hot.”
There’s another moment of silence, like he’s giving you a chance to change your mind and stop listening.
But then Suna moans and your eyes nearly bulge out of your head.
“You never answered my text, y’know. When I asked if you wanted me to delete our pictures. So, uh, I kept ‘em.”
Oh.
Oh fuck.
“I’m looking at one right now. It’s from last Halloween. When you-“ His breath hitches. “When you went as a Playboy Bunny.”
You remember. Suna dressed as Hugh Hefner and the two of you went to a party together. Then he took you back to his apartment and fucked you while you were still wearing the bunny ears and bowtie.
You’re pretty positive you’re not wearing the bodysuit in the picture he’s looking at.
“I don’t know how much of this night you actually remember, but I can describe the picture for you.”
You tense, anticipation sending goosebumps up your arms.
“You’re kneeling on the ground, looking up at the camera, and you’ve still got those bunny ears on your head.”
This voice message is going in the last direction you thought it would. Is he—?
“You’ve got cum all over your face, baby.” He laughs to himself before continuing. “And you’re sticking your tongue out like a fucking whore.”
Suna takes a ragged breath, a sound you're all too familiar with. It confirms your suspicions—he’s definitely jerking off.
“That was a good night. We had a lot of good nights.” He sounds miffed all of a sudden. “I seriously doubt the boyfriend is fucking you as good as I did.”
You suppress a shiver. A pang of guilt heats your chest at the mention of your boyfriend. You should stop listening. Delete the message. Tell him to delete the pictures and then probably block him.
Or you could let the message keep playing.
Suna inhales sharply, followed by a shaky moan. You swear you can hear the sound of his fist stroking his dick.
“I hope you’re not letting him put it in your ass like you let me. That’s our thing, okay?”
Under different circumstances you would have laughed.
“Fuck,” he hisses. “And I hope you’re not letting him spit in your fucking mouth. Or–shit–doing that thing where you’d suck me off with your head hanging upside down off the bed.” He falters at the end of the sentence, groaning into the phone.
“I’m not gonna–” he interrupts himself, sighing deeply. “I’m not gonna pretend I’ve been happy for you. I miss you.”
You feel hot all over, a heady combination of annoyance and arousal and embarrassment. There’s a dull throbbing between your legs and in the back of your mind you wonder if this is what Suna wanted when he sent the message.
“Just–just let me fuck you one more time. Okay princess? I’ll make it sooo good for you,” he whines. You can hear his hand picking up speed.
“It’s still early. Two months is nothing, it won’t even count as cheating.” You can hear the smirk in his voice. “God, just one last time. Please?”
Without thinking, you grab a pillow and position yourself over it in a straddle. You won’t let him fuck you, but that doesn’t mean he can’t make you come one last time.
“I promise I’ll do that thing you like with my tongue. And you can pick all the positions if you want to.” There’s a tremble in his voice. “Or just lay there. I’ll do all the work.”
You grind into the pillow beneath you, picturing the expression you know he’d be wearing if he were in front of you–batting those dark eyelashes with raised eyebrows, just barely able to control the smug curve of his lips.
Heat pools in your gut and a whimper falls from your lips. Suna keeps talking.
“I know you miss me. You have to. You’re probably touching yourself to this right now.”
You gasp softly and rock your hips faster.
“Such a fucking slut.” You hear the telltale quiver in his voice that tells you he’s getting close. “My fucking slut.”
You moan, his words giving you flashbacks.
“Oh fuck. Fuck, I’m coming,” he rasps, before letting off a series of moans and whimpers that almost make you concede. You grind harder into the pillow beneath you, imagining Suna in his room, chest heaving, talking into the phone and making himself come to pictures of you.
That does it. A tsunami of pleasure washes over you, forcing your body to tense before you go limp, collapsing onto your bed with a shudder.
You and Suna breathe in tandem, both of you catching your breath.
You hear another laugh through the phone. “Damn, that was a lot.” There’s the sound of sheets rustling. “Kinda made a mess, princess.”
He’s silent for another few beats before clearing his throat. “Text me, okay?” he says quietly. “Please.”
The voice message ends.
#suna smut#suna x reader#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintarou smut#haikyuu smut#hq smut#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#fatherbrat ♱ library#sunarin#hq#tw cheating
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