#not only because of what it tells us about Marie and how she was perceived

[wonder-worker]

Writers who knew [Marie of France Countess of Champagne] depicted her in several guises. For Chrétien de Troyes, the most elusive of contemporary writers, she was an assertive patron of romances, dictating for example the subject and meaning of the Lancelot tale. The mischievous Andreas Capellanus, who was close to Marie in the mid-1180s, drew a highly entertaining parody of Marie and the prominent women of her milieu resolving the conundrums of amatory conduct in “courts of love,” in the manner of modern advice columnists. In Hugh of Oisy’s musical performance, Marie cut a fine figure as a combatant in a tournament of elite women. It is striking how in three quite distinctive imaginative works written in the 1180s, Marie appears as an author of an Arthurian romance, a judge at a court of love, and a participant in a tournament mêlée.

Others who knew Marie well in the 1180s and 1190s remarked different aspects of her character. The Eructavit poet noted her penchant for the trappings of wealth, and addressing her directly during a performance of his religious drama, chastised her for her “largesse and lavish expenses.” [Canon] Evrat, on the other hand, a resident canon of St-Étienne who observed Marie closely in the 1190s, stressed her spiritual and moral character. Seeking to understand the deep meaning of the scriptures, he wrote, she provided him a copy of Genesis to translate into the vernacular and annotate with the findings of the latest “academic” studies. In an epilogue added after her death, Evrat penned a eulogy praising her largesse and renown, and comparing her, la gentis contesse Marie, to the three biblical Marys—“she would be the fourth.”

An entirely different side of Marie was captured by Marie’s court stenographers, William (1181–87) and Theodoric (1190–97), who made verbatim transcripts of her comments and directives while observing her deal with the practical affairs of governance: assigning revenues (“I assigned 100s. on the entry tax on wine”), resolving disputes at court (“resolved in my presence in this manner”), confirming prior transactions (“I approved this act”), registering acts done at court (“done in my presence”), consenting to feudal alienations (“I approved because it was my fief”), founding chaplaincies (“for Geoffroy, count of Brittany, my brother”), and establishing endowments (“for the anniversary of my lord and husband, Count Henry”). All of that was “done in public,” usually in the presence of her officers and witnesses. It was precisely in her capacity as ruling countess of Champagne that she continued Henry the Liberal’s example of performing in public as prince of his principality. Having observed Henry at court—just as Henry, while a very young man, had observed the conduct of his father, which earned him the reputation as the “good” Count Thibaut—Marie understood that the comital court, as the core institution of the principality, demanded her active participation, and she paid close attention to the great and the minor issues presented there for her disposition.

It should be emphasized that Henry the Liberal’s principality was only three decades old when Marie became regent in 1181, and the primary comital residence and chapel in Troyes were barely twenty years old, not yet fully implanted as the seat of a new territorial state and mausoleum of a princely lineage. Marie’s task was to preserve the principality and its institutions intact, and to assure the continuity of the lineage. And that she did. Evrat sensed both the precarious nature of her rule and her achievement in holding a firm hand on the levers of comital authority, especially during those anomalous years of the 1190s: “Well did she protect and govern the land / letting nothing slip from her hand, / she was gracious, wise, valiant, and courageous.” By all accounts, Marie projected a complex, forceful, and captivating character, one that proved a worthy counterpart to the compelling personality of Henry the Liberal. [Canon Evrat rendered homage to her in the epilogue of his Genesis translation: 'She had the heart of a man and the body of a woman'].

-Theodore Evergates, "Marie of France Countess of Champagne, 1145-1198"

[kaphzzz]

so i saw a couple posts about how arthur is sexist and racist and i'm not defending him because ive got a filter on but i do think some things are debatable. a few things got blown out of proportion and overanalysed i think.

first off i agree by today's standards hes definitely got some views to correct such as gender roles and not resorting to telling a woman to go to the kitchen as an insult, but at that time hes about as feminist as you get from a man. he says he doesnt think women and men are all that different, and he doesnt show any doubt at all regarding the capabilities of the women in the gang. many times hes expressed his belief that the women such as tilly or mary beth are skilled and capable of fending for themselves. he frequently shows his vulnerable side to the women in camp. when sadie made it firm that she wanted to be a fighter he allowed her to do it, barely even hesitated. i think he only mocked her because hes irritated at the commotion she and pearson caused in the middle of the camp, and also when isnt he sarcastic?

about the womens suffrage march: yeah he goes only because he's getting paid but he doesnt mock them for their cause and isnt afraid to be seen among them or to be perceived as an ally to their cause. considering the amount of angry men gathered at the protest who would have died of shame if anyone thought they were allies to feminism i think the contrast is clear enough.

'arthur as a lover would force gender roles' i genuinely dont think he would. the girls in the gang do chores because ms grimshaw is in charge of them and arthur has nothing to do with it, hes in fact more assured of their mission success when the girls are involved. he trusts sadie in a fight with his life. he meets charlotte and offers to teach her, without her asking him, to handle a gun to hunt and be independent, not once does he tell her to go back to her cozy life in the city or find another man to rely on beyond offering to get her somewhere she can get food. he goes out of his way to help mary, even when he realises he has nothing to gain from it. these are his views on what a woman should or shouldnt do and it wont change just because said woman is his partner. and i dont even ship him and sadie but i totally get it, i think he'd love a woman who can handle herself both in life and in a fight. this is also why so many people thought he had insane chemistry with black belle and there are even fanworks out there of the two. he doesnt get to meet too many but he's nothing but impressed and respectful when he meets a strong woman. and sure, if his partner is and just wants to be a wife in a traditional wife role, arthur'd be totally fine with it, he'd probably love to have someone stay in their home caring for it and waiting for him. but i also think he wouldnt be opposed to someone who can accompany him when hes out and about and who he can entrust his life to either.

'he lost his temper at mary' okay why wouldnt anyone? thats an understandable reaction for anyone in the circumstances. he's gone to meet who is probably the only person he has ever loved romantically and still loves, and all she does is criticise him for his outlaw lifestyle while at the same time expecting him to help her using the skills he gained from that life. im not going to say shes using him or being manipulative but it comes close, which is a whole other debate and i dont want to get into it but mary isn't in the right either. they talk to each other as equals too, their argument and the way they talk to each othet just supports that. when he got angry he realises his mistake and tries to calm himself down immediately when mary tells him to be kind to her. any truly sexist man who believes in a man's role in a relationship wouldnt even have listened. there were and are enough men in relationships who dont listen to their female partners or accept criticism from them or would even escalate the situation but arthur is not one of them.

about him being racist - this is a no brainer honestly he wasnt racist in 1899 and not racist now. sure you can say hes ignorant and uneducated on racism issues but thats not the same as being racist or accusing him of racism. the only thing i see people have to support the racism argument is that he referred to javier as a 'greaser' during the boat heist, but thats i think the only time he says a slur and thats only because he's got a role to play and hes simply saying whatever the manager expected from his act. he thinks of javier as family and all of the non white people in the gang too, quite obviously.

and lastly yes i agree hes a flawed person, charles calls him out on not wanting to help the germans or the tribe of his own will, lenny calls him out on not realising that the south is dangerous for him and tilly and charles to be in, in fact many people put him in his place by telling him exactly where hes wrong. he is often offending people whether he means to or not, and in certain situations quick to lose his temper or resort to violence, but he is also a kind and caring and sensitive person. i dont think we need to be squinting so hard between the lines to know that hes a good person when he doesnt have to be the violent brute dutch shaped him into for the gang.

so anyway i totally agree hes not some pure pookie wookie cinammon roll capable of no wrong and definitely has a lot of flaws besides the crimes, but i dont think racism or sexism are among them.

everyone has their own understanding of a character, i dont normally want to get involved in debate but if anyone does want to discuss then do but keep it civil

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Midnight | Chapter 18 | S.R

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Chapter Summary - whilst trying to clean up the mess you made, Luke makes a discovery. Spencer and Luke have it out before Spencer comes to a realisation about his mental state.

A/N - chapter starts just before the end of the last chapter as reader is storming away from Luke.

Pairing - unsub! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | very eventual happy ending

Warnings - use of “bitch” and “whore” (not towards reader), mentions of sexual assault, blackmail, swearing, murder, blood, PTSD, talk of split personas and alter egos. WC - 4.7k

Chapter 18 - Uncontainable

When you stormed away from Luke back towards the cabin, the raised voice coming from inside stopped you in your tracks as you reached the front porch. All your years of FBI training kicked in at that moment and you slowly and cautiously crept to the window. 

The first thing you saw was a wave of bright red hair flashing before your eyes as the person it belonged to moved frantically back and forth. But it soon became clear she wasn’t moving of her own accord. 

Spencer, who was only wearing a pair of underwear, shook her by her wrist somewhat violently, yelling in her face. 

“Listen you little bitch, do you have any idea how many people are actually assaulted every day? How many don’t report it because they’re scared they won’t be believed? And you want to use their real pain for your own sick gain?”

You frowned at his words, trying to deduce what they were arguing about whilst also making sure you didn’t make a sound. 

“You know you’re not helping yourself right? If you bruise me it’ll only make my story seem more believable.” Mary spat back at him and you saw Spencer quickly let her go. “And don’t think I haven’t seen the bruises on your lovely wife. I’m sure she would back up my story.” 

Story? What story? Was she exploiting Spencer? Had Luke told her who you really were and now she was trying to blackmail him? He said something about unreported assaults, was she going to tell people he assaulted her? 

“The only story she would back up is the one where you’re a desperate little whore who shamelessly wanted to fuck a man you perceived to married.” He barked at her. 

“Well I guess we’ll see won’t we? Who’s going to believe the strange out of towner over the young, innocent girl.” 

That was all you needed to hear. You could put an end to this, clear up this mess before it got out of hand. 

You crept around the side of the cabin and let yourself in the back gate. You made sure to walk silently up the spiral staircase that led to the first floor patio and thank god you’d been too drunk to think about locking the bedroom doors last night. 

You snuck inside and quickly found the SIG in Spencer’s nightstand. You’d done this so many times before, sneaking up on an unsub, it was like second nature. Breathe through your nose, steady, shallow breaths. Feet barely ghosting the floor. Do not make a sound. Keep the gun pointing straight ahead. 

You silently made it down the stairs and you heard her voice again as you reached the kitchen door. 

“I told you I want out of this town. I work three jobs and I am nowhere close to having enough. Finding out your little secret is the best thing that could have happened to me. So if you don’t give me what I want, I will disgrace the former FBI agent Spencer Reid and tell everyone that you raped me. Ten grand should do it.” 

You could feel the anger rolling off of Spencer in waves before you even entered the room. He would see you the second you stepped inside and you had to hope he could control his facial expressions long enough so Mary wouldn’t see you coming. 

“Let’s just talk about this, please?” He was begging her as you slowly pushed open the door. His eyes flicked over toward you and you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. 

“No, no more talking. You pay me now or I will go straight to the cops.” 

You cocked the gun and if she heard it, it would have been too late. You aimed at the back of her head and pulled the trigger without hesitation. The sound of the gunshot rang out through the room as the bullet hit its target and continued careening out the front of her skull towards the wall. 

She made a pathetic gasping sound as her body crumbled to the floor right at Spencer’s feet. The shock was written all across his face as he looked up at you, still holding the smoking gun in your hand. 

You tucked it in your waistband and strolled closer to Spencer whose mouth was hanging open and wide eyes glared at you in a stupor. 

“W-what did you…? Why did you?” He croaked out as you stepped closer, not a single hint of remorse in your eyes. 

“Karma’s a bitch.” You shrugged simply. “And so was she.” 

“Are you insane?” He yelled in exasperation. “We don’t kill close to home! How are we supposed to talk our way out of this?”

Her blood was splattered across his bare torso and arms, but he didn’t seem to notice, his frustration taking precedence. 

“She was threatening you! What was I supposed to do? Let her tell the whole town you raper her? Or let you fork over all of our cash to keep her quiet?” You glared at him. 

“Fuck, Y/N, this is bad.” He scratched his head, trying to formulate a plan. “We need to clean this up. We need to make sure every inch of this cabin is as clean as when we found it. We need to get her body in the trunk of the car, we need to dispose of it, and then we need to leave town.” 

“Leave town? That will only make us look more guilty.” You scoffed. 

“By the time they figure out she’s missing we will be so far away from here, they will never find us. And with any luck the freaking BAU won’t find us again either!” He spat. 

You rolled your lip between your teeth and took a step back.

“You know that Luke was here.” You looked guilty. 

“Yes, Y/N I do. Fuck, this is falling apart like a house of goddamn cards.” 

“I’m…I'm sorry.” You swallowed thickly, your previous bravado fading around you. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey, hey. It’s ok.” He stepped around Mary’s body closer to you, suddenly softening. “You were trying to help.” 

He cupped your cheek in his hand and held you so gently you could cry. He looked at you as though you hung the moon, his love for you so painfully clear at that moment. 

“I fucked up, Spence.” Your bottom lip quivered. 

“And we’ll fix it. Together, ok? We’re in this together, sweetheart. I promise you we will figure this out.” He leant closer to you and pressed his lips to yours. 

You believed him, you had no reason not to. If anyone was going to be able to set this right it was Spencer. When the two of you worked together, it was some kind of magic. With Spencer on your side this didn’t seem quite as daunting as it actually was. 

***

Luke’s cell phone rang as he was letting himself back into the hire car. He grinded his teeth, not particularly wanting to talk to anyone right now. 

His encounter with you had left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. He knew there was something bigger at play here, he knew Spencer had done something, he just had no idea how to prove it. 

He slid into the driver's seat and pulled his phone from his pocket, brows furrowing instantly when he saw the name on the display. He gnawed his bottom lip and answered it, placing the device to his ear. 

“Phil?” He ran his fingers over his stubble. 

“Hey man,” Phil’s voice lacked its usual bounce and under normal circumstances Luke would have asked what was wrong but it was the least of his concerns right now. 

“I’m sorry now really isn’t a good time.” Luke slotted the key in the ignition but didn’t start the engine. 

“I really need to talk to you.” 

“I’m up to my eyes in a case, I’ll call as soon I’m-”

“It’s about Duncan Green.” Phil cut him off. 

Luke’s hand that was still on the key fell to his lap as his blood froze in his veins. It had been several years since he’d last heard that name but it didn’t make it any less sinister. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Luke leant back against the chair, gaze somewhere out of the window but not focused on anything. He could feel every erratic beat of his heart. 

“A body was found in a shallow grave in the Rio Grande National Forest in Colorado. We got a call after local cops got a match to his prints.” Phil’s tone was morose, not at all how Luke expected him to react to this. 

“He’s dead?” Luke wanted to jump for joy but he put the party on hold. He could tell there was something Phil wasn’t saying. 

“Had his throat cut. He’s been living in Albuquerque under the assumed name of Matthew Richards since his escape from prison.” 

Luke closed his eyes, holding the phone in a vice like grip. Green had been murdered, his body found in Colorado. He took a deep breath and tried to keep his cool, at least for the time being. 

“Is it a coincidence or do you think someone tracked him down?” Luke kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut. 

“I don’t believe in coincidences. The bureau still has sightings of him come in everyday but you know we can’t check out every lead, it would be impossible. But the Green case was accessed just a few weeks ago and again a week ago by the same government login details.” Phil’s voice sounded even more sullen. 

“Who’s were they?” Luke held his breath, already having a pretty good idea of what he might say. 

“L. Alvez.” Phil sighed as he spoke. 

Luke opened his eyes, slamming his hand violently against the steering wheel and letting out an animalistic groan. 

“Fuck.” He spat, slamming the wheel again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“I can only assume it wasn’t you?”

“Of course it wasn’t me!” Luke spat, pinching the bridge of his nose firmly between his fingers. 

There were only two people who he could think of that would have accessed that file. You knew him well enough to assume his login password, like it wouldn’t be hard for him to guess yours. And Spencer was a goddamn genius and it wouldn’t be at all difficult for him to figure it out. 

He had a post it note on his desk at work, hidden under his keyboard with his password scrawled on it, even though he knew it was dumb to do so. Realistically anyone at the BAU could have found it and logged onto the database as him but you and Spencer were the only ones who had the motive to do so. 

Green killed your sister, it wasn’t a far stretch to think you would have wanted him dead. And if Spencer was really in love with you, maybe he’d do just about anything for you, including finding the monster who ruined your life. 

He took a few deep breaths to try and compose himself before he spoke again. 

“How far is the National Forest from Crested Butte?” He grumbled, still pinching his nose. 

“Uh, why?” Phil’s tone was riddled with confusion.

“Just look, please?” 

“Fine, let me check.” Phil started tapping away at a keyboard for a moment or two before he spoke again. “About one hundred and sixty miles south, give or take.” 

“Goddamnit.” Luke hit the steering wheel again. 

“You gonna fill me in on what angle you’re working here, Alvez?” 

“I…no not yet.” Luke shook his head. “I gotta go.” 

“Alvez, tell me what you’re thinking.” Phil remained calm. 

“I can’t. Not yet. I need to piece this together first.”

“I can help you.” 

“No, you can’t. I’ll call you later.” Luke quickly pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up, smacking the wheel several more times. “God-fucking-damnit Y/N, what have you done?” 

Suddenly he grabbed the keys back out of the ignition and was hurling himself onto the street and marching in the direction of your cabin. 

***

Spencer closed every single one of the curtains on the house just to be sure. He wiped the residual blood off his torso, he’d shower properly later as he was bound to get dirty again, and threw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, foregoing a shirt. 

While he was busy doing that, you laid out garbage bags and wrapped Mary’s dead body in them, sealing every inch to ensure no more unnecessary blood leaked out. You dragged her dead weight through to the kitchen, on your way towards the back door when there was a sudden and rampant knocking at the door. 

You froze in your tracks just as Spencer appeared at the top of the stairs. He looked at you, now covered in Mary’s blood after wrapping her up. He slowly padded downstairs, as quietly as possible in the hopes whoever was at the door would think you were out. 

But then they knocked again. 

“Y/N, I know you’re in there! Open the door!” Luke’s voice carried through to you both. 

“Shit.” You hissed, ducking below the kitchen counter even though the curtains were drawn. 

“He’s not gonna leave easily.” Spencer sighed, looking down at himself to ensure there was no visible blood. “You stay here, it’s about time Luke and I had it out anyway.” 

“Spencer, there’s a blood pool in the middle of the room and a fucking bullet in the wall!” You reminded him, glaring at him from the floor where Mary’s trash bag covered body was laying next to you. 

“Shit,” he groaned. “You’re right. If I open the door he might try and force his way in.” 

“Y/N! Open this goddamn door!” Luke yelled louder this time. 

“I’ll go round back, it might look suspicious but it’s better than the alternative.” He nodded to himself. “Stay here and don’t make a sound.” 

“Spencer!” You whined, halting him in his tracks. “I’m scared.” 

He rolled his lip between his teeth and moved closer to you, dropping to his knees next to you and cupping your face. 

“I’m going to take care of it sweetheart. I promise you, everything is going to be ok.” He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead before standing back up and you watched him stroll out of the kitchen towards the back door. 

You whimpered a little when Luke knocked again, heavier and angrier than before. You held your breath, moving to a sitting position on the kitchen floor and drawing your legs up to your chest and leaning back against the cupboard.

Spencer marched through the garden and out of the side gate, ready to face Luke for hopefully the final time. 

“Y/N open the fucking door! I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me!” Luke slammed his palms against the door just as Spencer was rounding the house and stopped at the bottom of the porch steps. 

“You’re gonna be here a long time then.” He folded his arms across his chest and he saw Luke tense at the sound of his voice. 

Slowly, the older man turned to face him, hands going to his hips and squaring his shoulders. 

“Where is she?” Luke spat. 

“That's none of your concern.” Spencer kept his cool, he needed to keep his anger bottled up if he was going to get through his encounter. 

“She’s my friend.” He folded his arms too.

“But she’s my wife.” Spencer smirked, unfolding his own arms and proffering his ring finger toward Luke.

“You and I both know that’s not real.” Luke scoffed. 

“It’s a symbol, Alvez. She loves me and who knows, maybe one day we’ll make it real. So stop chasing her down like a pathetic love struck puppy. She doesn’t want you, man, deal with it.” Spencer shrugged, offering him a slightly sympathetic smile. 

“You think that’s what this is about? You think I came all this way because I want to win her heart? We’re not in high school, Reid.” He rolled his eyes. 

“I think you’re jealous and you’re concocting scenarios in your head as a way of making yourself feel better when the truth is, Y/N and I just wanted to get away from it all. From you all. Do us a favour and leave us alone, Alvez. We don’t need you chasing after us.” Spencer spat as Luke headed down the front steps towards him.

“So it’s just a coincidence that Duncan Green turned up dead in the same state you and Y/N decided to call home?” 

Spencer’s breath caught in his throat. It felt like a trap, he needed to pick his words very carefully. He made sure to keep his expression unchanged, didn’t even so much as blink at Luke’s words but inside he was panicking. 

Just take a breath. Calm down. Don’t rise to it. 

“Who?” Spencer hid the recognition from his face, but Luke still saw through it. 

“Don’t play dumb, Reid. It doesn’t suit you.” Luke rolled his eyes. “Duncan Green, the man who killed Y/N’s sister, who broke out of prison and who we were chasing at the FTF for years. He was found with his throat cut less than two hundred miles from here and my user was the last to look him up. All seems a little coincidental doesn’t it?” 

“Right, yeah Y/N has told me about him. What are you implying, Alvez?” Spencer cocked his eyebrow. “You think, what? I killed him? Oh come on, do you really believe I’m capable of something like that?” 

“The thing is, I’m not sure what you’re capable of. I thought I knew you both but I’m not so sure anymore.” Luke shook his head. “Some twenty two year old told me you were sleeping with her. Some diner guy told me Y/N said you were a bully. Hell, the guy at the used car lot thought she was scared of you! All that makes me think that maybe I never really knew you.” 

Don’t let him break you, Reid, do not give him anything. 

“Luke with all due respect, why are listening to these morons over me? You do know me, and you know I’m not capable of killing someone.” 

Luke’s expression faltered and Spencer breathed a small sigh of relief, seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. He just had to stick the landing, don’t fumble it at the last hurdle. 

“I really don’t know what to think, Spencer. Of course I don’t want to believe you’re capable of something like this but there are just so many things that don’t add up here. And I swear to god if you did kill Green and you’ve put Y/N in danger, I will make it my life’s work to put you back in prison for the rest of your life.” Luke spat, his expression one Spencer had seen him use many times in interrogations. 

Spencer took a step back as a smirk twitched at his lips. He shrugged his shoulders at Luke. 

“You’re not as intimidating as you think you are, Alvez. And I can promise you, if I had done something, you would never get me back inside a prison cell.” He took a few more steps back and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Now if you’d kindly get the hell out of here and leave us alone.” 

Spencer turned on his heels and started back towards the side gate. He thought Luke might have more to say, he heard the other man grunting in frustration behind him, like he wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words. 

He threw open the gate and bolted it behind him, not slowing as he traversed the backyard and made his way inside the cabin, locking the back door behind him. He found you more or less where he left you, cowering on the kitchen floor next to the garbage bag stuffed with Mary’s corpse. 

You looked up at him, bottom lip quivering as you hugged your legs to your chest. It was such a strange juxtaposition to see you so frightened when you hadn’t hesitated in pulling the trigger and killing Mary not so long ago. 

Spencer slid down to the floor next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and you instinctively rested your head on him. He could hear your erratic breaths as you snuggled against him.

“Is he gone?” You whispered. 

“Not yet. I’d kill him with my bare hands if I didn’t still respect him so damn much.” Spencer sighed. 

“I would never forgive you if you killed Luke.” You raised your head and looked at him. 

“I know, sweetheart. And I wouldn’t do that to you. But jeez he’s a pain in the ass.” He used his free hand to cup your face delicately and his fingertips brushed lightly over your cheek. “He knows about Green.”

Your face paled, colour completely draining from your skin as you stared at him in horror.

“He…what?” You swallowed. 

“I didn’t get the full story but I guess they found his body. There is nothing that can tie us to him, Y/N. We were careful.” He tried to insist. 

Apart from the fact I used Luke’s credentials to track him, he decided against saying out loud.

“What happens now, Spence?” 

“We have to wait him out, he won’t stay out there forever. Once it’s dark we have to get rid of the body, clean up this house and we have to get the fuck out of this town before anyone realises she’s missing.” 

“I like it here.” You sighed sadly. 

He could have pointed out the fact that if it weren’t for you being so trigger happy then you wouldn’t have to leave. Not so long ago, he would have pointed that out. He would have gotten angry, blamed you for this, for Mary’s death, for Luke showing up here and for the BAU being on your asses. But something had changed in Spencer.

It was entirely plausible that his time in prison had caused a break in his psyche. The PTSD that he’d left untreated for so long had manifested itself in the form of a second persona, much more dark and evil than himself. When he found his anger rising, he switched into this alter ego without meaning to, maybe because Spencer had never been good at dealing with anger or emotions in general.

His alter allowed him to stand up for himself, to deal with that residual trauma and not bottle it all up like he’d been doing his entire life. You’d told him he was like Jekyll and Hyde and you were right. 

But he was learning that the love he felt for you, that swarmed through every inch of his body was what could tether him. If he focused only on that love and not on the rage, he could keep the monster at bay. Best case scenario, he may never need to kill again, but really he’d just settle for not ever having to make you scared of him again. 

He wanted to be the man you needed him to be. None of this hassle was worth it if he didn’t have you at his side at the end of the day. You were worth not giving over to his demons for, you were the only thing that mattered in his completely fucked up existence. 

He knew if it came down to it he would take the wrap for everything, Green, Mary and Jason Durand included. He would not let you go down for any of this. He was going to the ends of the Earth to protect you no matter what. He loved you so much, it was the least he could do. He just hoped it wouldn’t come to that. 

“I know sweetheart, but I’ll find you a new Stars Hollow, I promise.” He kissed your forehead. 

“Won’t they just come for us again? They’re going to keep coming for us, Spencer.” You chewed on your lip. 

“We have to be extra careful this time. We have to figure out a plan, we can’t use the Nissan anymore, not now the team knows about it. And our aliases are blown. Fuck, I don’t know what we’re going to do.” He confessed, letting go of your face so he could pinch the bridge or his nose. 

A smile tugged at your lips which caused Spencer to frown at you. 

“Good job I’m always prepared. I was a fugitive hunter, Spencer, we don’t leave anything to chance.” You sat back and reached into the pocket of your jeans, pulling out four similar rectangular cards which you handed over to him. “I think through every eventuality. The BAU have no idea what they’re dealing with.”

Spencer looked on in awe at the four driving licences in his hand. Two bore your photograph and two his. There was one matching set of Arizona issued licences for Samuel and Violet Truman and another set of Florida licences for Jack and Lily Waters. He glanced up at you with a curious expression on his face. 

“Samuel and Violet will buy themselves a little car to go on their American road trip. Meanwhile, Jack and Lily will be checking into motels along their way.” You smiled mischievously at him Spencer’s own smile grew. He had never loved you more than he did at that moment. 

“Good god woman, you’re an evil genius.” He pulled you close and kissed you hard. “If we make it out of this, remind me to marry you for real one day.” 

You giggled against his lips, both of you completely forgetting the imminent danger you could be in, ignoring the dead body by your side and Luke still skulking around outside. 

“We’ll be ok right, Spence? If we leave this place, we’ll find somewhere new and they won’t find us. We’re gonna be ok, aren’t we?” You needed to hear him say it.

“We're going to be just fine, sweetheart. We’re going to take care of this mess and we’re not looking back, only forward. They can’t curb us like they want to. They don’t get us. It’s you and me.” 

“You and me.” You repeated. “We’re uncontainable.” 

Hey,

we're takin' our crown, we're takin' it now, yeah.

Hey, we never look back,

We're uncontainable!

Woo!

(Are you ready? Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls for the main event.

Ha-ha, they aren't ready for this one! Yeah, here we are!)

Comin' out the gate I'm swinging,

And if you're in my way you'll feel it.

I hear you think you're tough,

So put your hands up,

We never back down from a fight.

So lemme ask ya,

Can they stop us?

(No!)

Break us?

(No!)

Get your game face on,

We're against the ropes!

Tap out?

(No!)

Throw in the towel?

(Hell no!)

'Cause when the bell goes off the gloves do too.

Hey, we're takin' our crown, we're takin' it now, yeah.

Hey, we never look back,

We're uncontainable!

Hey, we're takin' our crown, we're takin' it now, yeah.

Hey, we never look back,

We're uncontainable!

Throwin' off the chains,

I'm runnin'.

You think you're at the top,

You're fallin.

Swing and miss you're through,

You're out of the loop,

We're gonna bury you alive.

So lemme ask ya,

Can they stop us?

(No!)

Break us?

(No!)

Get your game face on,

We're against the ropes!

Tap out?

(No!)

Throw in the towel?

(Hell no!)

'Cause when the bell goes off the gloves do too.

Hey, we're takin' our crown we're takin' it now, yeah.

Hey, we never look back?

We're uncontainable!

Hey, we're takin' our crown, we're takin' it now, yeah.

Hey, we never look back?

We're uncontainable!

Keep swingin', keep dreamin',

But you'll never knock me out.

I've fallen too often,

But you'll never keep me down.

You see it, you feel it,

Your mama can't save you now.

One day they'll say,

The throne was made for me.

Yeah,

Uncontainable.

(Is he?)

We're uncontainable.

Hey, we're takin' our crown we're takin' it now, yeah.

Hey, we never look back,

We're uncontainable!

Hey, we're takin' our crown, we're takin' it now, yeah.

Hey, we never look back,

We're uncontainable!

Stop us?

(No!)

Break us?

(No!)

Get your game face on,

We're against the ropes!

Tap out?

(No!)

Throw in the towel?

(Hell no!)

Never look back,

We're uncontainable.

@bubblebuttwade @jay-2s-world @daddy-dotcom

[evellynssocbrainrot]

An Important Notice

Almost every time I read a fanfic or see what people say on Tumblr and Pinterest, Inej is perceived as this perfect angel with no flaws and Kaz is the one who needs fixing.

This is really annoying.

Listen, people, Inej is amazing, don't get me wrong. She's one of the best characters in all of literature and I look up to her as a role model, but she's not perfect. She is not a saint or an angel, she's a human. Even she can be stubborn and arrogant from time to time. Let's not forget how she doubted Wylan's demo ability at the beginning of SOC. Her line, "I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker, or I will not have you at all," is iconic and I understand the meaning, but it's still a bit hypocritical when you think about it. She's telling Kaz to make himself vulnerable but it's not like she's that open about her own vulnerabilities either.

As for Kaz, the poor baby is almost always painted in the wrong light. He's the one with all the flaws, the one who doesn't deserve anything but misery, and the one who needs fixing. Even if he's just a character, I feel bad and think perhaps sometimes the Grishaverse fandom isn't fair to him. In the books, Kaz told Wylan how he shouldn't feel ashamed of his disability, VERBALLY said that he wanted to give himself up for the Crows, and didn't allow Jesper to use Parem even though it was a very efficient way to gain the victory. He even gave Nina Matthias's share of the kruge despite having the option to take it for himself.

And for Inej, the sweetheart did as much as he could. 😭

He was dead set on saving her at the beginning of CK and stopped at nothing until she was with him again. And his line, "I would have come for you, and if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you." He said he would crawl, CRAWL!! Fucking crawl to her, and knowing Kaz, he so would if he had to. And then he liquidated all, not some, all of his assets, every single cent, he gave it all up for her. To fully free her from the Menagerie. In the end, he bought her a ship, found her parents, and even went as far as taking off his gloves and holding her hand for a long time IN PUBLIC!!!! At the harbour where anyone could see. In fact, he's the reason why she's where she is in the first place. He got her out, gave her a knife, and made her dangerous. He gave her the freedom to grace the rooftops in the dead of night and haunt the streets. He gave her the option to leave if she wanted. HE LOVED HER TO THE POINT WHERE HE LET HER GO BECAUSE HER HAPPINESS AND DESIRES MATTER MORE TO HIM THAN HIS OWN!!!

He's not that bad okay. I know he's very flawed and traumatized, but he's got a very big heart, he just doesn't show it. He gave Jesper a place to go, provided Wylan with protection, and allowed Nina and Matthias to reunite. He formed the plans for the Ice Court and ended Van Eck and Pekka Rollins while doing his best to ensure that the Crows would stay alive. But still, he's the only one who has to fix himself. Some fans still think that he isn't worthy of Inej. Meanwhile, Inej is the perfect, flawless angel. I thought people didn't like a Mary Sue. And Inej isn't a Mary Sue, she has flaws, she has weak points, and she has things that she needs to work through as well.

For those of you who read all this, thank you for sparing some time.

[soullessjack]

i don’t think there’s anything new I can add to the performative-jack studies because it’s like..very cut and dry, guy who’s constantly perceived as a threat does his best to seem innocuous and friendly..but there is an underlying layer of exactly how jack tries to present himself to others (that I’ve definitely already posted about but whatever).

soo like. take this outline for example:

Jack: “He still has to be killed.” Cas: “Doing that might kill Dean as well, so [I] doubt any of [us] would be willing to do that.” Jack: “I would.”

‘Cas is a little shocked by how calmly Jack says this, and Jack says he knows what Cas is thinking; that this is Lucifer’s gene pool talking. It’s not. “I’m not my father. I’m not my mother. I’m me.”

“You’re all so focused on saving Dean, but Dean is Michael’s vessel. There’s a good chance Dean isn’t even alive. Is Jimmy Novak still alive?* Could anyone save him? It’s Michael. And Michael has to die.” ‘Cas stares at Jack, who looks coldly collected.

post-war jack is straight up traumatized and jaded by everything he’s seen and experienced in apocalypse world, still making efforts to be kind and sympathetic of course, but with a bit more edge to him now. for six months he’s been fixated on killing Michael, and he’s way more willing to do the Hard Thing (kill Dean) than he might’ve been before to do so (which actually reminds me a LOT of the chicken/snake story from ouroboros but we won’t get off subject).

obviously he still cares about/loves Dean, we’ve seen that in the rest of S14, but he’s also seen what Michael did to another world and wouldn’t put anything before preventing that. *he’s also very willing to hit Cas where it hurts with the Jimmy comment

but the thing that sticks out is Castiel immediately assuming that Jack’s calm, cold collectedness in the way he talks about killing Dean/Michael is somehow evidence of Lucifer’s influence or heritage; that Jack couldn’t possibly feel this way by himself. even Jack refutes it, stating that he’s neither of his parents (ie, it’s his own decision to kill Dean if it’s necessary). I think it’s also interesting he mentioned not being his mother, because I think that’s why Cas is so surprised by his demeanor and jumps to attribute it to Lucifer.

from day one Kelly’s heritage was the only argument Sam and Cas had against the idea that Jack would be evil. to be fair, Jack does take after Kelly a lot; he even looks like her to some extent. but treating Kelly’s heritage as the It-factor that makes Jack good, treating him as basically an extension of Kelly who must be good and kind because she was good and kind (literally an inverse of how Lucifer’s heritage is treated) is still just dehumanizing.

the distrust he faces is understandable coming from AU Bobby and people who are being actually displaced and exterminated by Michael, but the fact that Jack is subject to the same scrutiny from his own chosen father as well adds to why he represses these parts of himself so much, why he puts on that naive nuclear-son personality and basically butters everyone up all the time.

I think the only times when Jack has actually unmasked himself were at points of extreme low empathy, because most of the time his facade is put on for the sake of other people and the fear they feel towards him. he obviously wouldn’t have to worry about that while he’s human, but like I said, he’s literally a war veteran/criminal by this point. he’s gonna have a little more edge to him than before, and a little less empathy for the small things.

the second and probbaly more obvious one is his behavior while soulless, completely lacking the empathy required to care about keeping up his facade—so much so that he just bluntly tells Mary that he’s annoyed by everyone eggshell-walking around him like he’s a time bomb again. then, *checks script* like a flip switched, he goes back to that facade and reassures Mary that he knows they’re doing it out of love. He’s blatantly performing his emotional responses now.

jack is still soulless for like…three (?) episodes in S15, and still incapable of really feeling any emotion despite being able to logically process them. like he is literally so empty inside that he resorts to binge eating to feel some kind of sensation. but he’s consistently playing up the happy-go-lucky shtick when he isn’t just depressed and withdrawn (especially the church basement scene where he immediately gets the dumb Bambi look when he sees Cas after his failed cannibalism attempt).

got a headache while writing this so I’ll just leave it here but like. A Lot of the reason why Jack performs so much is because specific traits he shows are not only taken as threats, but are also associated with Lucifer and treated as signs of his “true nature” <- click that link it’s important for context

Mk that’s all byeeee (*´ -`)

[yourstruly9489]

What is your OC passionate about?

I've seen stuff to help develop characters that's asking questions about them, eg. What do they want more than anything? What is their greatest fear? What are their dreams? etc. I've always had trouble with these for some reason. Possibly because they seem so impersonal to me, despite being directed at a person. But I discovered something the other day. I love crossover fics, and I sometimes imagine my own OCs going into a fandom I like. Because of this, and my recent interest in Ride The Cyclone, I found a way that works better for me.

Ride The Cyclone is a musical about six teens who died in a tragic roller coaster accident. A mystical fortune-telling robot, whose name is Karnak, somehow has the ability to bring one person back to life. He takes the six teens, Ocean, Constance, Ricky, Noel, Mischa, and Jane Doe, to a sort of purgatory. In this purgatory they are to decide which one of them comes back to life. Each character, excluding Karnak himself, sings a song about themselves so that they can judge amongst themselves who should be brought back to life. But they don't exactly sing about their actual lives, instead they sing about their passions. In the words of Karnak, "Tonight I wish to give them the chance to express not what they were perceived to be, but what they dreamt they were."

Ocean sings about what she's passionate about first: Wanting to be on top, first place, the best. She sings how she's better than everyone else. She sings how the world needs more of her, and less of others.

Noel is next. He sings about the art movement Romanticism, he is the most romantic boy in town after all. He sings about wanting to be a female hooker in post-war France. He sings how he wants to live a life of sin, to burn himself with cigarettes, to die in an alley. He wants to experience a tragic life, not just the good, but the bad.

The next to sing is Mischa. A boy from Ukraine who lost his mother to radiation poisoning. He starts by singing about his facade, a gangsta. He raps about how everything is awesome. How he's awesome. But then he breaks out of that character and sings about his true love. Of which is his fiance, Talia. He devotes himself to her wholly, singing with passion.

Next is Ricky. A boy who was mute and physically disabled his entire life. He was often avoided in life, with his parents and cats being the sole exceptions. He sings about an escapist fantasy. He sings about himself in a sci-fi world, sent to help the race of the cat people of Zolar. How he helps save their world from extinction, and becomes famous in history. He sings about being known and loved.

Then there's Jane Doe. The one unidentified victim of the Cyclone accident, she lost her head and no one knows who she was in life. She sings about how she doesn't understand. Why she couldn't remember her family, her friends, her name? Why can't anyone remember who she is. How she'll be eternally forgotten and how everything will eventually join her in death. She sings about not understanding why.

Finally is Constance. No one really knew her well, she was only known as nice. She sings how she used to think that her life sucked, and howit only got her down. Then she goes into how wonderful she realizes life is now that she's lost it. She sings about loving the life she used ashamed of.

All of them sing about their true passions. Without the fear of being judged, they're all dead anyways, no point in being self-conscious. Then imagining my own OCs in that situation, with no consequences for expressing themselves, really helps me deep-dive into their characters. Reframing the question "What are they passionate about?" Into what would they be like in this specific situation I'm familiar with?

So I think of my OCs and what they would sing about. For specifics, I have three OCs I've been working on recently.

Left to right they are: Henry Robinson, Victor Shelley, and Mary Robert. Their story is very much about wacky mad science and creating life where there was none. Definitely inspired by the idea/story of Frankenstein.

When I imagine what they would sing about in a situation with no consequences, just a chance to truly express themselves, I understand them far more than I would with just generic questions.

I imagine Henry would sing about his triumph in creating artificial life, he'd sing about how he's going to be known all across medical history as the man to prevent death. He'd sing about how betrayed he felt when Victor abandoned him. He'd sing about how he deserves more. Victor would sing about his grief. He would sing about how stricken he is at Henry's blatant ignorance of the laws of life and death. He'd sing mourning the lives lost in this pursuit of life. He'd sing about his care for others. Mary would sing about her lack of understanding. How she was brought into a world, not through love, but through science. How she woke up in a lab with only Henry there to help her, a man who is only using her for his own gain. How she doesn't understand why she couldn't have stayed resting in a grave. She'd sing about her confusion.

With just the question, "What are they passionate about?" I think that Henry's passionate about science, Victor's passionate about his disregard for Henry's actions, and I wouldn't even know about Mary. But with the question, "What would they do/sing about if there was no fear of consequences?" I come up with so much more.

And so, I ask you, dear reader. What would your character rant about, if only there were no fear of being judged?

(watch Ride The Cyclone, it's great)

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e6 rewatch notes - part 1

I'm breaking this up over two days (for length, clarity, and my own mental health) - I pause and scribble my way through scenes as I go, so there may be a few repeats here and there.

Natalie's bereft face in the opening, attempting to disassociate but failing miserably because that's not her coping style. She obviously doesn't even smoke by the way she's holding the cigarette, she just does it because - much like working inside a commercial kitchen - it's the only legitimate excuse for a break from the chaos. Both she and Mikey act like they've just exited the fog of war (because they have) and - unlike Carmy - they've never had the emotional or material means to escape it.

Sugar's "No one can make anyone else act a certain way" comment to Mikey - it's very clear that they perceive mental illness from very different angles. Mikey admonishes Natalie for her check-ins as an attempt to blunt/control Donna's outbursts, and Sugar's skepticism of Mikey's strategy of just riding the lightning/ignoring the outburst (while acknowledging that he and Carmy have more success, but she attributes most of that to being the female middle child of a grievously ill female narcissist).

Carmy coming out = a hot mess of family dynamics. He asks Mikey (innocently enough) to come in and handle the crowd by being "fun cool guy" and Mikey assures him that he will, but with a vacant look in his eye (no wonder this man was on drugs, what other choices was he afforded?). Fak is literally yelling indistinctly inside, upping the chaos, as Richie bursts outdoors amidst the three siblings to ask if "there's any family shit going on that he should know about".

Along with just trying to be ok themselves, these three adult Berzattos are a magnet for every other wayward adult-child who needs a home to reckon with their own trauma, and their inclusion becomes their problem as well and only ups the frequency of the despair. Mikey literally makes space for the three of them by dismissing Richie "for a minute", and you can tell that's not normal protocol.

"Would it kill you to pick up the phone?" - Carmy is already wounded by Mikey more than 4 years before his death. You can immediately tell by Mikey's earnest response (along with his previous discussion with Sugar) that he was just keeping Carmy at arms length to ensure he never returned, to spare just one of them from a life of hardship. In spite of everything else we see about Mikey and how poorly he manages his trauma in this episode, he is an inherently good brother who started early in inciting loathing in the person he loves above all others just to save him.

I wanted to peek behind the "Our Mother of Victory, Pray for Us" bit, as you know damn well it wasn't selected by Storer by accident. The whole idea is that Mary, the Mother of Victory "pleads our cause with a mother’s heart and concern with whatever we bring her. Confident that Our Lady’s prayers are always heard we pray"

I may be reading too much into this, but that's a whole fuckton of power projected onto Donna. Even though it's said in jest, its maternal compassion and mercy that was never extended to the Berzatto kids. It could also be seen as "only Donna's prayers are heard and answered" (through the placating and emotional gymnastics performed by her children) so they utter this little prayer to her as much as they do to God - for control, for relative calm, for the day to simply be ok. They know better than to expect much more than that.

What is the actual point of Fak and Ted? I mean this narratively. I know that the Ricky actor who plays Ted originally worked on the set of The Bear in S1. Did the producers think they had an awesome "boys club" vibe and just plop them in as chauvinistic comic relief? Or is this part of a long-con? Do Fak and Teddy embezzle all of The Bear's money and retreat to Hawaii or something? Right now it's giving "Matty Matheson needs to sell more cookware" and I need a reason for this set-up, as the rest of the players offer more than enough relevant chaos to the episode.

Also, when they ask "Mrs. B, are our skateboards in here? Can we sleep over?" as Donna is cycling in the kitchen - Matty Matheson is in his 40's, so he time-traveled back to a rough-looking 35 to freeload off of his fake-besties Mom and aid in her spiral? I don't get the age timelines/ideas on what arrested development in this show are anymore....

"Say the fucking words" - ooof. I feel like a lot of ink has already been spilled on what the word "love" means in the Berzatto realm, but no wonder Carmy can't comprehend it even when it's right in front of him. Love to him is sacrifice and struggle, panic attacks, pacifying meltdowns, idealization and inevitable betrayal (hello other shoe!), and just saying the word because it diffuses an argument - not unlike rubbing one's chest.

So....what's the likelihood that the abusive chef at EMP is just a projection of Donna living rent-free in Carmy's head at this point? The way she lobs the ball at Carmy with all of the elements that need to be swapped when the timer goes off, the practical matters of running a high-pressure kitchen trailed with jests and insults and total emasculation. Yeah...I think it's pretty high up there.

The second Richie and Carmy trade off the homemade Sprite (before Carmy can grab the prosciutto and mortadella that his mom asked for 2 seconds ago) is just enough silence for Donna to feel abandoned and start unravelling again/start screaming about moving the pot. I can't quite place my finger on the weird amalgam of mental illnesses they gave this woman (hit me up, psych majors) but if its not over-scripted/acted, its a lot.....

Richie and Mikeys "Just take a break from being a mopey little fuck" - phew, these dudes really think that a high-school chick will be Carmy's salvation.

"I don't have a love of my life?" Carmy doesn't even flinch or show recognition of who they're talking about at first, and then it dawns on him that they've probably embarrassed him and he wants to crawl in a hole and die (which is the most honest feeling expressed this episode to date).

And wow. Donna intercepts the whole thing by throwing a spoon at Stevie and screaming "Richard, bring her the fucking pop!" - a.k.a the title of the previous episode with the house party. Those words ended the gang's harassment re: Claire, but then future Carmy willingly waded right back into the abyss of thoughtless conversations, bullying, projections, others' expectations, and the terrible Christmas.

Ok, that's it for now - I'll be back on my bullshit tomorrow.

[duckieberry]

Little Agent 4 Headcanons

Note: Finding any official art/render of any of the masc agents is near impossible, so sorry for the inconsistency. Also Agent 4 is referred to using They/Them pronouns so that no matter how you see them (for example: masc presenting verses fem presenting) these headcanons can still be visualized according to how you perceive them visually.

---

Four typically doesn’t regress as old as Eight or as young as (Captain) Three. They sit about 4-6 most days but regress way younger on very bad ones

Their primary caregiver is Marie. It took Four a while to gain the courage to tell the older squid about their regression. It was a huge relief when she told them they weren’t the first agent to regress (and they certainly weren’t the last one either)

They started regressing not too long after they beat Octavio. As everything settled down, the reality of what they just went through hit them all at once. Four initially assumed the fuzziness in their head was just shock until they ended up regressing for the first time after playing rainmaker. Seeing the weapon caused them to have vivid flashes of the battle against Octavio

In spite of Four’s energy and seemingly confident personality, they’re extremely prone to separation anxiety. The idea of being left behind frightens them to no end, even more so while they’re regressed. Due to this they refuse to be left alone in any capacity and become very clingy. The younger they’ve regressed the clingier they are

Nap time is always an argument with them. Four despises naps and will fight to the ends of the earth to avoid sleeping, no matter how much they need it. The most reliable method to get this squiddo to sleep is for their caregiver to nap with them (Marie doesn’t mind and enjoys using naptime as an excuse to take a break from her work)

Very talkative little one. Four will chat excitedly about whatever they’re doing, whether it be playing with their toys or colouring. On the rare occasion that Four can only babble, they will still continue to chatter despite not being coherent

Four has a favourite sippy cup and they refuse to drink anything unless it’s in that cup. The cup is a light pink with pictures of shrimp playing in a forest of kelp

It had been a complete accident that Four started calling Marie, momma while regressing. A simple slip of the tongue that they profusely apologized for but Marie’s reassurance that she didn’t mind being their momma caused it to stick. They eventually set it as Marie’s contact name in their phone

On days that Marie is too busy to look after Four, Callie or Eight normally take up the job of babysitting. Four likes it when Callie babysits because she has many fun games and activities planned but Eight has better cuddles and makes good snacks

If Four had to pick a favourite toy it would be their race cars. They adore winding them back and watching them zoom down the hallway or along whatever race track they’ve set up for it with random household items

[somekindofsentience]

why secret anger is a better tool than secret sadness, or hiding rage under a persona of nurture.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR: OMORI, DEMON SLAYER AND OSHI NO KO. I WILL BE SPOILING THE LATTER TWO'S MANGA SO BEAR IN MIND THAT WATCHING THE ANIME ONLY WILL NOT PREVENT YOU FROM FURTHER SPOILERS.

WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE, GRIEF, LOSS AND MENTAL ILLNESS

We've all seen the character who has secretly been very sad their entire lives. Fuck, some of us are that character, and maybe have been for a while.

It's relatively easy to hide a sad backstory for a character, and it opens room to give them depth later on. And, unique to side or background characters, it allows the protagonist (and by extension, the reader) to connect further with them, giving the façade of plot and sub-plot depth. Of course, it's perfectly possible to do this well - it's possible to do every trope well - but it's also very possible to do this poorly.

And... it's so boring.

Like come on. Sad woman sad. Very sad. We're all sad, because we've been told to feel sad by the author. How sad.

I believe that there are far more fascinating tropes to explore, with much more depth - and I'd like to talk about one of my favourite forms of this. Hiding inner anger is infinitely more interesting, especially if the character can hide it well.

I've chosen three characters to discuss for this - Mari from OMORI, Ai Hoshino from Oshi No Ko, and Shinobu Kochou from Demon Slayer. I think all three of them perfectly capture the "hidden anger" trope very well, and I'll connect all of them, which allows us to understand the purpose of this character archetype overall.

Mari is an incredibly complex character, one whose complexity is actually very easy to miss. Due to Sunny's unreliable narration, we perceive Mari as perfect, since he blocks out any of her personality which mimics the truth. In Headspace, she's an incredibly default NPC, acting as a pillar for quest clues, healing and saving the game. As a player, you come to see her as some sort of comfort, a recurring symbol in irregular places. This evidently changes when Sunny discovers the truth, and we come to accept what he has done. However, Mari is never properly portrayed in the game - we only see her through the lens of the others - which means a lot of the fandom doesn't quite understand her character, let alone understand the selfish nature of perfectionism. There is nothing in the game that suggests she had external pressure causing her perfectionism (although I personally headcanon this), so we must go off it being internally driven.

Mari is not a tragically sad, or gorgeously happy character. She has been punishing herself with pent-up anger. Imagine you've been practicing something for months, over and over, only to find out your duet partner doesn't care anywhere near as much as you do. No-one cares as much as you do. All those months of practice ultimately mean nothing. Every time you pushed yourself to play the same song on repeat until it drove you insane mean nothing, because of this one moment, one stupid angry moment from your brother.

Despite all this, Mari isn't allowed to be angry, which is why the Truth segments still show her acting in an adult fashion (taking the unused Truth descriptions as canon).

In the photos of the truth, Mari looks like a disappointed mother, telling off Sunny. She says she "isn't finished talking...", like a parent. Mari was fifteen when she died. She had no outlet for this rage at all, no time to be a teenager, when she was the mother figure of the group. Her character trope as the "nurturer" trapped her in a hellish cycle of perfectionism, hiding everything until her absolute breaking point - which lead to her death.

In Oshi no Ko, Ai Hoshino is a perfect mother, perfect idol, perfect person. This seems widely agreed by literally everyone, and the manga follows her son's attempts to avenge her murder, and her daughter's attempts to follow in her footsteps. Although the goals of the children change partway through, when Ruby learns the truth of Ai's death and Aqua loses faith in his scheme... Ai remains a pillar of gold. And yet, we find out during the creation of the movie on Ai's life that people around her suspect she was hiding anger.

While I have perhaps... fallen behind... in my reading of Oshi No Ko, I'm just going to go purely off this panel and the previous chapters to analyse. Forgive me, I completely forgot which character says this, everyone's hair looks the same and I can't tell if it's Akane or the lady that adopted Aqua and Ruby. It's been a while.

Ultimately, Ai Hoshino is confused, and this makes her angry. We know she's never felt love before in her life - not until she had her children - which would be incredibly frustrating. You see everyone around you experience happiness and joy, and yet life keeps reminding you that your childhood was shitty, you work in the most insane industry of all time and you're exhausted. There's some implication that Ai's relationship with Aqua and Ruby's father was complicated, so perhaps that's the reason she's furious.

Regardless, Ai is far more complicated than every character portrays her as, which makes her interesting. As a reader, you smell a rat instantly. Something is off about the way she is glamourised, and you know you're missing a piece of this puzzle.

Shinobu outright states that she's been angry her entire life, at least since Kanae's death. She's been mimicking Kanae's sweet smile as an act of remembrance, but Shinobu is not happy, not calm, not sweet like Kanae was. Now, Shinobu isn't the most nurturing figure - at least not to Tanjirou, and not much to Kanao either - but she still acts in that calm, motherly demeanor, mimicking her older sister. In that way, Shinobu is also a perfectionist - she's just got a standard to match up to.

Shinobu is often mocked in the fandom for being "weak", but I think that's not the right way to understand her character. The fact that she doesn't fight off raw strength alone is symbolic, because it tricks the reader into thinking she's sweet and calm. No-one who is that weak can be full of such rage... right?

Mari and Ai Hoshino have further links due to the way they are portrayed after their death - as perfect. Sunny heavily misconstrues his sister, acting as an unreliable narrator for her personality, and it seems as though no-one will ever know what Ai was truly like inside. Instead, characters remark on their outward traits, which fandoms then fall into... guys. you're literally being trapped by the same trap their families and friends fell into. you're being gaslit by two dead women. please try to look past the silly little mirror they tried to reflect themselves in.

Now, what is the purpose of this archetype? They aren't main characters, and they aren't there as a fake display of depth, so what are they there for? All three of these characters die to further the plot - but more importantly, they act as a catalyst for character change in their sibling or children. Mari's death single-handedly destroys an entire friendship group, but it is also the reason they are brought back together. She alone allows Sunny to forgive himself, and within that, he must accept that she wasn't perfect, just as he isn't. Ai's death ruins Aqua and Ruby, but it gives them goals, something to work toward (symbolised with stars in their eyes). Shinobu's death allows Kanao to step forward and confront Akaza, which changes Kanao as a character, but it also ties up Kanae's subplot neatly.

To the player/reader, their deaths are far more important than their lives, but there is much more to explore in their lives than people understand. This is true complexity, and it's frustrating when it's brushed over in aus or fanfics.

Please, dig deeper. Look harder. Turn these dolls into humans, because they are corpses for a reason.

can you tell i find scary women pretty aggagagahgagsa

song i listened to while writing this: テレパス by Yorushika

The song is very good at capturing loneliness, and rage is quite an isolating emotion. Mari, Ai and Shinobu are all hiding an inner version of themselves, and they took that form to their graves.

[cybertron-after-dark]

What are the humans like in wayward sparks? Are there any notable ones?

They're not necessarily as prominent in the story as they tend to be in any canon series that includes them, but they're definitely there. The bots spend the first arc just trying to survive on earth until they find a way home, and they have quite a few run ins with the locals. Most of which are relatively unhinged, many of which are not very friendly, because they crash in an itty bitty, rural new england mountain town called Ironwood, wayyyyy out in the sticks. Most residents aren't particularly afraid to fire at will when giant robot aliens decide to show up.

Least alien-friendly would be Rusty Williams, a local logger with one hell of a trigger finger for anyone and anything on his property he sees as a threat. Aliens, government agents asking a few too many questions, cops, whatever. All of them only get one warning.

Fortunately for the stranded Cybertronians, gunshots aren't really fatal or even particularly damaging long-term for giant robots that can put themselves back together if they sustain enough damage to fall to pieces. Unfortunately, they still do enough damage to tear through their outer armor layers and that tends to hurt like a bitch.

In the very least, there are plenty of humans around with their heads screwed on right that won't try to blast anything that looks at them funny. Like Rusty's Daughter, Crystal.

That said, Crystal is an elusive type. A middle schooler Going Through It, trying REALLY hard to be edgy so people stay away (hence the $2 Spirit Halloween horns headband), she'd really prefer to spend her free time hiding in the woods where nobody can perceive her. Thats been a little more difficult ever since a bunch of giant robots started stomping around out there and all they know about her is her dad is super cringe, so she's pretty scared of a bad first imprsssion.

She'd be lying if she said she didn't want to be friends with them (which she does lie about frequently because ew, genuine feelings), especially the Decepticons, because she thinks they're cooler, but she also knows her dad would flip his lid if he knew.

Also interested in approaching the Resident Aliens, is Marie Lambert.

Marie's only just recently moved into Ironwood. It's been a rocky transition to say the least. Her dad's a biologist, a real science-y type, and he moved out to the boonies to be closer to the wildlife. Marie's plenty used to being out in the sticks, camping trips with her dad were a regular occurrence before the move, but it's a little hard to get used to the new place when there aren't very many kids her age around. And the ones that are there aren't exactly very welcoming to flatlanders showing up taking over the place.

But in the very least, Marie makes ONE friend when she finds Crystal out in the woods. And a few more when they find what the adult residents of Ironwood have been telling them to stay the hell away from.

They don't approach them straightaway (mostly because their first encounter consists of watching Shockwave scare away Bumblebee, and Shockwave skulking off when he realizes he spooked the Autobot), but the next day at school they start Planning. They HAVE to know more about the robots, and they're willing to pool their resources and information to make that happen. They figure if there's two sides and they don't play nice with each other, it's easiest for one girl to pick one side and they tell each other whatever they can find out.

This begins several beautiful friendships

Marie chooses to gather info on the Autobots. Mostly because, well, they seem less scary and potentially friendlier. She tries the polite thing (which she's hoping will result in the least possible chance for things to go off the rails) and knocks right on their door. The bots aren't really sure how to respond to a very small, very shy alien critter that showed up right at their door to ask what they are and if she can hang out. Marie isn't sure if any of this was a good idea.

They turn out to be pretty welcoming, especially because organics that aren't actively shooting at them are a nice change of pace.

She gets especially close with Bumblebee. Hes comforting. Makes her feel like everything's going to be okay. She gets pretty anxious, and he's good at keeping her grounded. So far, anyway...

On Crystal's side, it's been... Well, it's been different.

The cons would not admit it on their deathbeds but good lord did Crystal scare the slag out of them when they first realized she was there. She snuck right on aboard their crashed ship and nobody noticed her for about 15 minutes.

After the initial scare, and a bunch of big bad giant robots scrambling around because there is a Tiny Squishy Critter in their Space and they do NOT know what to do about that, Crystal starts in trying to get answers. Answers most of the cons aren't particularly willing to give out (other than Shockwave, who is just very excited at the opportunity to make a new friend).

Megatron eventually deems her more or less harmless. She isn't really causing problems or hurting anyone, she doesn't appear to be hostile (other than hissing at Lugnut when he got too close), and he can't really fault the little gremlin for her curiosity. An ally in a foreign world can be very very valuable when you're stranded, so he lets her stay, "as long as she doesn't get in the way."

Marie and Crystal meet up at school during lunch to share notes. It gets confusing trying to keep track of everything when the two sides give conflicting information so often. The girls try to keep an open mind. Hard to remember things about someone you don't like, but they can't really figure out which version is true for any given story, but they're hoping if they spend enough time with their robot friends, they'll figure it out together.

Maybe they can even help the bots and the cons make up. It's just a silly fight, after all.

It's not like anyone's going to get hurt, right? They're all good people.

[emerson-grimes-apologist]

Is it me or do I think (or theorize) that almost all the women in candle cove are all a reminder or ATLEAST symbolize Janice's girlhood, or just anything relating struggles about being a woman. Mostly because of their roles and personality and such, especially in a male-dominated world and practices such as piracy.

You got Janice, who is pretty much a typical girl, who is the embodiment of innocence, curiosity and guilt (for something she did not mean to do as in her mom died giving birth to her) and who is traumatized from her sister, Melrose. Melrose is GREIVING because of a female parental figure being lost in her life. She could be an embodiment of impulse since her only hobby is bullying Janice without thinking "would this hurt her feelings?". She is confident in doing this to her thinking it would make everything better, but it didn't, it only made everything worse for her and Janice.

Now Mary, is an embodiment of rage, and hate itself. She is an intrusive thought of feminine urge. Only burning people because she feels like it, and using techniques to get her way (such as putting on an act as a nice person, saving lillian so she would be more believable) and then throwing it all out so she can betray the crew. It's more like a "I'm just a girl" thing

Sariah is an embodiment of innocence being lost, and the stereotypical things people say about women, (she's naive, innocent, wears pink, falls head over heels to men like milo). When Milo killed her she lost all that stuff and grieved over someone who loved her and killed her only for him to get killed by the Skin-taker.

Lillian represents motherhood, due to how she comforts thade after thade was hesitant joining her crew because his previous crew was harsh. She has a mother-like personality and protected Auburn from Mary, which is typical mother things.

Auburn is the embodiment of free will and justice. Who sees the world being unfair, and is a caring soul. She is trying to receive justice, like many wronged women try to receive it.

Sunny, I cannot think what she embodies but it's mostly how she is the OPPOSITE of what men perceived women at the time. She's vicious, she's tomboyish and the only member in a crew which has mostly men in it. She has been seen equal by the crew because she orders the crew around when Horace is asleep or drunk, but that is because they never knew she's a woman because Horace refers to her as "he". If she did say she was a women, the crew would throw her off or even kill her, since back then people thought women were bad luck on ships.

Susan siren is an embodiment of how men want women to be and look. She's beautiful, long haired She's barely wearing clothes, she's flirtatious. She is chained to a rock and that only shows women cannot escape from men's standards, even if they are the exact opposite without getting sexualized.

Laughingstock is the embodiment of leadership, and always has the final say in things. She keeps trying to tell Percy to go inside caves and stuff. Even if Percy refuses.

Mrs skin-taker is also an embodiment of how men see married wives as. (Nagging housewives) The reason for this is because she wanted to divorce Skin-Taker all because "he's changed". She also had a stereotypical things associated with housewives (thick lips, and a necklace)

So yea I hope this makes sense and English isn't my first language 😭😭 I just like theorizing little things and maybe I'm obsessed with symbolism

AGH, I was so excited when I came home to this ask!! I made some tea and sat down and read this like I’d read a chapter of a favorite book.

It’s really great to see other people into symbolism and media analysis. It’s not something I see often in fandom spaces even though analyzing media deeply like this is really fun, and I can’t be the only one who thinks so. (Well, the only one besides you, Anon.)

This ask has really stirred my brain, so I may have… written a whole essay in response. Heh. (Sorry for taking a while to respond by the way, I wanted to make sure what I wrote made sense.)

I feel like as Janice is growing up and “growing into a young woman” as people say, she would be observing the women around her and learning about the different ways to be a woman. Janice is 9, and it’s around that age when kids really start to form their identities, so it would make sense.

Also, I think being thrown into Candle Cove and the world of pirates, where there’s mostly men, would make her feel like being a girl makes her different, and as the adage goes, identity is formed by finding ways you’re different from other people. So I think coming to Candle Cove and being surrounded by men would solidify her identity as a girl, and lead her to observe and imitate the women around her even more.

Also, a lot of people theorize that Candle Cove is all in Janice’s imagination and by extension, all the characters from Candle Cove represent some aspect of her psyche, which would make this make even more sense. Like, each of the women in Candle Cove could represent a woman (or type of woman) Janice looks up to for guidance.

JANICE

Janice does embody guilt, and I think specifically how women are made to bear the guilt for things that aren’t their fault. Janice is blamed for her mother’s death, but what was she supposed to do? Not get born? And she was a literal NEWBORN BABY—the most innocent a person can be—and is still blamed for something as serious as killing someone. Not to mention that she’s a victim in this situation, too, having never known her mother. But the people around her don’t seem to care.

MELROSE

This might be a reach, but I think she may also represent women who side with men against other women. I’m applying my headcanons to make this work, but what if Melrose learned to bully Janice by watching how her father acts around her? We already know Mr. Stewart is… well, not a very good parent, based on how he doesn’t seem to do anything about Melrose harassing Janice. So it wouldn’t be a reach to say he’s also not a very good parent in other ways. Maybe he’s cold and dismissive towards Janice, bitter because she’s the reason (in his perspective) that his wife died and he’s left to take care of two daughters by himself. And Melrose, as children do, could have learned her behavior from him, bullying Janice because she thinks that's what her father wants her to do. And it’s worse because Melrose is somebody Janice is supposed to have solidarity with, as her sister, and yet she treats her so poorly. It reminds me of how in real life, women put each other down for male validation instead of having solidarity with one another.

RED MARY

She does definitely embody female rage, but I feel like she could also embody women who perform traditional feminine roles to get ahead in life. Like, women are often pressured into being docile and accommodating or else be shamed and called bitches (whereas men doing the same things wouldn’t be shamed and instead even be praised for taking initiative). So women are forced to fit themselves into this docile female role if they want people to like them and to get what they want.

Red isn’t traditionally feminine. She isn’t kind. She isn’t docile. She isn’t nurturing. In fact, she’s the opposite of nurturing—she kills people and draws out their suffering. But she pretended to be all these things when she was with the Tarantula Crew because they wouldn’t take to her otherwise. Like you said, she saved the crew in the past to earn their trust, which obviously isn’t something she would do out of the kindness of her heart. It isn’t made known why she wanted to be with the crew, but whatever the reason was, she didn’t need to be with them anymore at the end of Come and Rip, and so then she was able to be her true self and let go of the act.

SARIAH

I agree with what you said about Sariah representing innocence being lost. She’s naive and probably has an unrealistic, romanticized view on dating men. She was in love with Milo, but in the end, Milo only used her to get something else (Skin-Taker’s trust). It reminds me of how in real life, men often start relationships with women (and take advantage of their naivete) mostly because they want to use them for something else, like sex or free housework.

I also think maybe she represents women who are “props.” Women who have no significance (at least seemingly) other than their relationships with men. A good percentage of female characters in 1970s media fell into this role, so this would be another female role Janice would know of.

Sariah is not portrayed as having any depth. All we know about her is that she’s pretty and has 2 personality traits. She can and probably does have more to her personality, but the audience doesn’t need to know any more because the only thing that’s important about her is her relationship with Milo. He’s the one who matters—she’s just there to support and define him.

And this is something that I realized recently, but the wiki doesn’t actually say Sariah is Milo’s girlfriend. She’s only ever called his “love interest” or “the girl he likes,” which is more vague. She could very well have no relationship with Milo at all. And that’s so much WORSE to me because she could have zero interest in Milo, and yet her whole identity and her whole life (all the way to her death) is defined by him just because she was unfortunate enough to be the object of his attraction. She was doomed by the narrative to be a background character in his story no matter what she did.

LILLIAN

I don’t really have anything to add here. Lillian is obviously motherly. Like you explained, she’s comforting and protective. She’s also sensitive to others’ emotions, which is also a trait mothers are expected to have. Also, I didn’t notice this until now, but Lillian is the only character in Candle Cove who is a mother (unless you count Janice’s mother). So it checks out all around.

AUBURN

I don’t really have anything to add here either, BUT I’m gonna take this opportunity to talk about something that I find interesting:

Auburn is a little girl, and Boar is a grown and capable adult. And yet it’s Auburn who swears to kill Red Mary and avenge Lillian. Boar just tells Auburn that it’s impossible to kill her and leaves right after. Also, bear in mind that Boar and Lillian are described as “very close friends,” so it’s not like he has no reason to feel just as upset and vindictive as Auburn does. Anyway, I think this scene goes to show how intense Auburn is. She, a young and incapable girl, swears on her mother’s grave to do something impossible (kill an Abyssian), even when the adult, the more capable one, just shrugs his shoulders. Like, if Boar sees no point in trying to avenge Lillian, then it really shows Auburn’s vindictiveness that she’s dead set on it, even though she’s weaker compared to him.

SUNNY

I think Sunny represents women who present less femininely in order to be taken seriously. There are women like Red Mary who get their way by following the feminine role of being docile and obedient to curry favor from people, and then there are women who do the opposite: acting masculinely so that people will think they’re owed the same level of respect as men.

This is taken to the extreme with Sunny, who I think deliberately disguises herself as a man. The wiki makes it sound as though the Rubber Fishes simply don’t notice that she’s a woman, but I’m doubtful of that. Not only is she tomboyish—she doesn’t have any overtly feminine traits. She’s bald. She wears androgynous clothes. And yes, she could just be gender-nonconforming, BUT the wiki mentions that she has a feminine-sounding voice, but rarely talks. This leads me to think she keeps quiet deliberately in order to hide her voice, and hide her being a woman. And also, if this is deliberate, that the other ways she presents as masculine are also deliberate. My other support is that female pirates in history, like Anne Bonny and Mary Read, had to disguise themselves as men in order to be accepted by their pirate crews, so her crew thinking she’s a man could have been inspired by that.

While there aren’t many modern-day situations of women literally needing to pretend to be men to get ahead, less feminine women are seen as more deserving of respect than feminine women. For example, when women want to be taken seriously, common advice that’s given to them is along the lines of “Don’t wear so much makeup” or “Carry a briefcase instead of a purse.” There’s also the phenomenon of women saying they’re “not like other girls” as a way to BRAG, because according to them, not being interested in makeup or clothes or other feminine things make them better and more deserving of respect.

All that aside, I personally like to think that Sunny is just GNC by choice and that the Rubber Fishes would accept her all the same if they knew she was a woman, but I still think this interpretation is interesting.

SUSAN

The way you said that women are sexualized no matter what interests me because sirens as mythological creatures got sexualized. Listen: in Ancient Greek literature, they were these frightening bird-women who tempted people by offering to reveal secret knowledge to them, drawing them in by singing and playing instruments. Then in the Middle Ages, their unique traits were removed—no frightening looks, no arcane knowledge, no playing instruments, even—so that they could become these unoriginal, conventionally attractive mermaid/succubus-esque creatures that seduced sailors to kill them. Unsurprisingly, this is the interpretation that stuck. (Does anyone know of that image of some Overwatch character or whatever before and after she was “un-Tumblrized”? It’s exactly like that to me.)

Yeah, so as Janice is growing up, she’s probably being exposed to magazines and TV shows and what-have-you where most of the women are half-naked and doe-eyed and not serving any purpose in their media other than to look pretty, especially bearing in mind that Candle Cove takes place in the ‘70s, where women’s representation in media was even worse. So Susan represents that role for women—the sex object. Which is also, like you said, the way society wants women to be.

Susan isn’t reduced to being a sex object, though. She has an active role in the story, luring a ship to save the Laughingstocks. And heck, she’s actually very powerful, having almost sunk a whole fleet of ships in the past. It’s interesting, though, that her source of power (her singing), like everything else about her, is beautiful. It reminds me that no matter what they do, even if they have agency, society expects women to be beautiful and able to be sexualized as they’re doing it. Able to be turned into the mere sex objects that society wants them to be.

Also, the way that you said that her being chained represents how she’s trapped by men’s standards got me thinking…. Her clothes are basically lingerie, but what’s interesting to me is that they’re made of chains. This leads me to think that they’re not her own clothes, but clothes she’s forced to wear as a prisoner. Stripping people was (and still is) a common form of punishment, so it would make sense. And I sense some symbolism here too, with her clothes being made out of chains. Like, women are chained by society’s standard to be sexy. Pressured to wear revealing clothes or else be shamed and called a prude. Basically, she’s trapped, literally because she’s chained to the rock, and figuratively because society pressures her to be a sex object.

And one last point while I’m here: Even when she’s imprisoned, she continues to have perfect hair and doe eyes and revealing clothes. It reminds me of how, even in suffering and oppression, women are still expected by society to be pretty. (Does anyone know of that old trend on TikTok where women did makeup to make themselves look like they’ve been crying? Not as special effects makeup, but regular makeup to wear to look pretty? And think about how, even though crying realistically involves being puffy and having snot all over your face, this trend implies that women crying is seen as (and expected to be) beautiful by society? That’s one example.)

THE LAUGHINGSTOCK

@mewpirate posted a screenshot from the wiki that said something like, “the creators explained that Ms. Laughingstock isn’t supposed to represent a mother, but a boss,” so I think what you’re saying is actually canon. The wiki does say, now, that she considers herself to be Janice’s “substitute parent,” but still, I see her as a mother in a “head of the household” sense, not so much a “nurturer” sense. She orders people around (mostly Percy), like you said, and also briefs the audience at the beginning of each episode explaining what the characters do in that episode.

MRS. SKIN-TAKER

Mrs. Skin-Taker definitely seems like a housewife viewed from the perspective of her husband. She doesn’t do anything but nag, as if she’s an exaggeration created in her husband’s mind. Like, men get so pissy about their wives complaining now and again (instead of sitting quietly as women are supposed to /s) that they come to only see them as nags. She also kind of reminds me of how wives are portrayed in '70s sitcoms (written by men), so this could be where Janice learned this role from.

And also, she doesn’t have anything to her character other than being Skin-Taker’s wife. She’s basically a gender-swapped version of him. She doesn’t even have her own name—she’s just “Mrs. Skin-Taker.” She’s like his appendage, not an individual person. Although this may be justified, seeing that she was just a throwaway character for one episode and so wouldn’t be very fleshed-out.

You know, I often like to imagine that there isn’t any historically accurate misogyny in Candle Cove, and I didn’t think there was any historically accurate misogyny in Candle Cove based on what the wiki said, but… after reading your ask and then writing about it, I think maybe the creators of the wiki created it with the misogyny of the times in mind? Because a lot of these women seem like they were written a certain way because they’re a woman in the Golden Age of Piracy (like with Sunny needing to disguise herself as a man) or that they were written a certain way because they’re a female character in 1970s television (like with Sariah and Mrs. Skin-Taker being flat and only there to support the male characters).

On one hand, I like to think of Candle Cove as an escapist utopia where misogyny doesn’t exist, but on the other hand, I do like feminist themes in media and to use media to explore the struggles of being a woman. So I have mixed feelings about this, but all in all, it’s really interesting to think about. Media analysis is fun!!

Also, I feel like I should say thank you for reading this whole thing. Here, have some food to regain your energy with: 🍊🍎🥐🧀🥓🍳🍪☕🍫

[punishing-eden]

Thoughts on the Latest Archon Quest...

Aka why Neuvillette is the best boy, a stan's Essay...

⚠️MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ARCHON QUESTS AND STORY QUESTS⚠️

>>>TDLR at the end

Tags: Rambling, long post, not really an essay, but just want to say a few things, idk will this make sense, I can't write essays this just a word vomit.

Please note that this is just MY opinion. I am not here to slander, theory craft, or be in an argument. I just want to give my two cents and thoughts about this game and the story.

══════════════════

I have recently got back to Genshin mainly due to Furina. I actually like everything about her, from her colours to her characterisation. The lastest Archon Quest solidifies her as one of my favourite Genshin characters.

Firstly, I want to talk about Fontaine's plotline as a whole, how everything ties up together on the end. Then, why I find Neuvillette such an endearing character through out the arc.

Previously, after going through Sumeru's Archon Quest, which; I find it more enjoyable and better written than Inazuma's arc, I had expressed my concerns regarding the AQ's plotlines in the Hoyo survey.

This concern feels a bit silly to type it out now after the fact, but during that time, at least to me, it felt like a main concern.

The main concern was about the over all theme of AQs: the people vs Archon. I fear that it would be overly used and recycled. That, it might get predictable, and what's the point of me continuing the quest if the story is basically, help people accept the archon, or help the archon accept the people.

In otherwords, if each nation has a unique crisis of their own, I personally would find it more engaging to continue and see.

In general, Fontaine did not disappoint.

Firstly, I want to say, I enjoy watching Tartaglia getting yeeted. Lol.

As for the story, I think the pacing improved, although there are still some areas in the story that I think could be better. For instance the Fotress of Meropide arc, and the Spina arc. But, I think it has improved in terms of linking the events and foreshadowing something bigger for the grand finale at the last act.

Not to mention, the AQ seems to finally address, or acknowledge the anomlies of Teyvat, like the Descenders, Skirk, and a bit about Celestia.

It's not a lot, but enough for me to be satisfy. Because, in the past, these lore bits are just crumbs. And, now it feels like the actual agency/story is moving forward to something.

As for the story itself, I like the concept of the prophecy. For some reason, it reminds me of Noah's Ark with the flooding, punishment, and the flying ship in Meropide.

The prophecy aspect feels unique. Paired it with Furina, the archon who we all perceive as a stereotypical Marie-Antoinette-quese, and dramatic personality, to be incompetent in the time of crisis. I was at the edge of my seat to see how can she solve this problem.

People might say, "Well, the traveller is going to help her, of course!" which brings me to my next point.

For once, the traveller feels powerless. A stark contrast to the usual, "Only the traveller can do this.", or "The traveller is so strong they can bring an end to this.", and I think this makes the stakes higher, more exciting.

Heck, most of the cut scenes show how the casts were the ones who take initiative to solve problems. Like, Clorinde and Wriothesley at Meropide, or Navia saving the traveller when the clockwork meka went haywire.

Overall the story felt like a roller coaster of emotions, packed with tension, mystery, and drama. The last act was just so bittersweet for me.

I love the moments between Focalor and Neuvillette. I think it kind of shows how much connection they both had through out those 400 years.

Also, Focalor is really pretty!!!!??? Like, can this be a skin option?!

In regards to Neuvillette, I am not here to do an expert character analysis, but to kind of just tell you how I interpret Neuvillette's character, and in what aspect did I enjoy him the most in the role of the story.

Do note that I play in the Japanese voice over, so the characterisation and interpretation is different than the English voice over.

What I like the most about Neuvillette might be the fact, how simple his character is. If I were to boil down Neuvillette's core character it would simply be: benevolent.

His character is of a benevolent Hydro Dragon (I don't know can this statement be use to describe to his past self.) Not only to Melsuines, or to other people in general, but I also think it is how he sees the world.

Such as, his relationship with Furina, I actually think he's being very patient with her (Save for the trial, because everyone was desperate at that point). The time when he was ask how he would 'hunt' his 'prey', Neuvillette states he would use the most gentlest way as possible. Visiting Callas's grave after being confronted by Navia. Heck, this guy even goes out of his way to make the small talk just to not let Paimon feel awkward.

Despite how simple his characterisation is, it is also complex in a sense. In his SQ, we get to see how Neuvillette has his own concerns and issues settling in Fontaine. And, it is not soley his benevolence that is causing him the issue, rather, it was the circumstances that happened in the past, and how he interpreted the whole situtation and it's aftermath. I think the SQ did a good job in showing how complex he can get, if given the right conflict and situtation. *cough cough* we will not talk about a certain SQ *cough*

I think the narration for his SQ did a good job in focusing on Neuvillette as a character, and the emotional side of him. I might be a little empathetic, with the cut scene and the information we learned, I was able to connect with Neuvillette emotionally by how well the cut scene wrapped up the story. I felt the melancholy and bittersweetness.

Whereas for Wriothesley's SQ, just to compare, it was interesting to say the least. But, I couldn't connect with him in an emotional level as I did with Neuvillette. And, I think if the Devs could just show a bit more vulnerability of Wriothesley's character (his past is the most interesting part about him.) it would be a better connection with the character, instead of info dumping about his past in the most anti-climatic way.

I actually really enjoy Neuvillette's and Furina's relationship. As I said before, I find Neuvillette being extremely patient with Furina with her antics, despite he sometimes make comments on how she handle things, I still think he holds Furina close (Not in shipping way), after all it was her that gave him a place in Fontaine.

The part where Neuvillette finally meets Focalor, and knowing what was being set in stone; Neuvillette will regain all his original powers to end the crisis, and Focalor getting guillotined to get rid of the heaven principle's influence on Fontaine (I think Focalor is the only one, by far, was able to actually spite Celestia). That scene, I find, moving, and it really shook me, especially when Neuvillette made this expression:

He might not be the most expressive character, but...gosh that expression conveys so much of his emotions.

My interpretations is: I don't think Neuvillette wanted Focalor to sacrifice herself, and felt there could be another way. There are so many things he wanted to say to her, and to even ask her.

But alas, he never got a chance to before Focalor was guillotined.

The more I write about this particular scene, the more questions and new possible interpretation comes to mind:

Why did Neuvillette feel upset when Focalor executed herself? If, essentially, she's a different "person" to Furina. Could this mean, regardless of Focalor and Furina, he still sees them both as one entity?

Who, or what, is he grieving (I interpret him as griefing in the admist of powering up) for? Was he grieving because he felt sympathy for what Furina and Focalor had to do?

To be honest, I don't know, so I can't conclude an opinion. Maybe when he got a second act to his SQ, it could provide more insight for me to have an opinion.

But for now, I believe everything Neuvillette does comes from a good place in his heart even if it doesn't seem like it at the beginning. He could have got his power up and simply reclaim Fontaine and not care about the people, like Apep, but he didn't and chose to fillful Focalor's wishes. Even so, he still worries about Furina's well being after the fact.

After all that has been said of my impression of Neuvillette, I find his benevolence, and his lack of conventional human expression very endearing. I also enjoy how we began to gradually see him become more expressive. I enjoyed his relationship with Furina because they are kinda like a set, in my opinion, like a dynamic duo type of characters.

That being said, I hope the devs can continue with their good work, and I am excited to see what the Teyvat journey ahead would be like.

>>>

TLDR: Teyvat's Fontaine arc is nicely written. It has showcase improvements in regards of the overall story telling of the Archon Quests, such as pacing, flow, and themes. Although, there were a few parts of the story that I feel could have been done better.

It's nice that the story also finally addressed the anomalies of the Teyvat world (as they play a much bigger part), thus giving more information to the lore, and help to bring agency back to the main story.

In my opinion, Neuvillette is a greatly written character, and I enjoy his character throughout the Archon Quests. In my character study/writing perspective, Neuvillette's characteration, I find, is very interesting, and I couldn't wait to see more of his character in the future.

Thank you for reading of you made it this far!

[mg-dango]

Do you want to take a moment to be infodumped about my TF2 OC? (pls say yes)👉👈

YOOOOO Hi I’m not dead (yet)

College’s been eating me alive with homework, which hasn't allowed me to finish a single drawing or play video-games, not even sleep more than 4 hours haha (send help/j)

HOWEVER- However, I recently got an hyperfixation on TF2 and oh lord I love it, I could talk about it all day. I´ve been reading fanfiction, watching gameplays and SFM videos on youtube. I don't how could I've missed this fandom before iT’S CRAZY-

And like everytime I get so engaged on a fandom, I try to self-insert me with art, and then like everytime I try to self-insert me everytime, it fails miserably because the mf fictional interpretations of me start growing their own characteristics, differences and personalities and when I less expect it- BOOM, they´re a totally new OC with little to no hints of me in them. 

Sooo this is exactly how this OC I wanna present you today was born, usually I just wait until I have 2 or 3 drawings of them and then I present them with little to no explanation on social media, but since my current free time is not letting me do anything and I’ve been dying to infodump about them, I said “f-ck it we ball” and just straight up tell you guys what I have made of this new blorbo until now:

NOTE: Some of the things about this oc are a bit stereotypical about Japanese culture, I apologize and if something makes you feel uncomfortable/bothered about it, please let me know!

Like her name suggests, she is a chef, originary from Japan. The story I currently have for her now is that Miss Pauling temporally wanted to hire a cook to boost the morale on the base, and Chef enthusiastically took the job after being kicked out of cooking school, there was one problem tho

Chef only knows to cook one single thing and It’s sushi, like, if she tries making something else, that thing ends up transforming into some kind of sushi-like thing (Like sushi-getti, sushi-taco, even sushi-sandvich and sushi-cereal).

The team at one point gets sick of always eating sushi, but for some reason (I´m still thinking of the reason) they can't fire her from her new job so they just end up making her a new member of the team

Which is actually bananas because Chef comes from a family of ninjas (I´m still thinking on the lore of that too)

Also here's the thing, everyone on the team thinks that Chef is a man, she was about to correct them but instead she discovered she liked being referred also with masculine pronouns and being perceived as a man so instead she's just internally having an identity crisis figuring out her gender while keeping it a secret.

She's been trying to avoid medic for that same reason, she hasn't gotten her übercharge-thing surgery yet because then Medic would have to see her chest and her secret would spill out

(I actually doubt medic or any other member would mind having a woman on the team but still ohhh the drama)

She can throw smoke bombs that are made of wasabi, uses an Oroshi Hocho (A knife used to cut tuna) as a sword and can make a temporary clone of herself (I’m sorry if this sounds a bit like a Mary Sue I got too excited)

Chef is Aroace (‘Cause I'm aro and I wanted an aro oc to make me feel represented), she values A LOT friendships and platonic relationships.

She likes hanging out with scout bc she thinks he is simply goofy and hilarious and a funny idiot (ur honor they’re homies)

Annnd that's all I have of Chef for now, probably gonna be changing a lot of things the longer I draw her but uh, If you have come to this part and took the bother to read all this infodumping, I wanna hug u virtually and say “thank u” I really appreciate you <3

[aliceinchainscr]

Sean Kinnney’s sister posted this on Facebook about Layne Staley.

A message from a long time friend of Layne's. It does not matter that the friend did not sign their name at the end of this message...it only makes it more clear that this person was a TRUE friend to Layne.

Some people have to step on others to feel good about

themselves. Others

think money is the answer to all things. Layne would be laughing

that anyone

is even talking about him and glad that those full of anger have

a place to

spew it out. Maybe if they shit it all out of their system they

will have

only good left in them, one can only hope.

Labeling Layne a junkie is as ridiculous as calling someone Big

Nose Joe or

Straight Haired Mary, and those of you who have to do it look in

the mirror

and tell me you don't see faults. Layne wasn't a Rockstar, he

was a human

being with the same human feelings we all have about ourselves.

He also had

the same insecurities. People who don't know you saying they

love you

doesn't change how you perceive yourself, because the bottom

line is you

know the truth. Those talking about him don't even know him.

Layne had a disease he tried desperately to rid himself of and

wished he

didn't have. Would you be so cruel to someone who had cancer?

You don't just

walk away from an addiction. If it's so easy, I challenge anyone

to give up

something as simple as sugar/high fructose corn syrup. I bet

they couldn't

even for one week; it's in everything: bread, mayonnaise, fruit

juice etc.

Until you've walked in those shoes........

As far as having the resources to get off it, there are far more

sick fucks

out there that wanted to get close to him by mailing him drugs,

and putting

them in his pocket when he'd go out, or stalking him than

friends and

family. Let me tell you he had a ton of those. To protect him

from those

people meant a lifestyle where your full time job was to

baby-sit the

situation. Who can pay their bills and live a normal life

protecting someone

else 24/7?

Layne was a beautiful sensitive man that would do anything for

anyone. He

loved everyone and truly appreciated that people dug him, dug

the band and

dug the music. The world is an uglier place without his

kindness,his warmth,

his great sense of humor, and his fun. Layne never accepted the

title of

Rockstar. He was just easygoing, approachable Layne. He thought

it was weird

people would want his autograph and people were down right rude

trying to

get it. While he was out to dinner or even going to the

bathroom. Being

successful doesn't allow people to have the right to do that.

What happened

to common courtesy? Yet he would oblige, smile and be friendly.

Layne didn't think of himself as a great artist. He was just a

man that

loved art, and I can say one of the most artistic people ever.

He could do

anything that involved creating art and do it extraordinarily

well.

I remember him talking to Kurt once about "how do you react to

the person

acting like your best friend that used to make your life pure

hell when you

were in school, then were too nice to tell them to fuck off?"

Instead they'd

be nice and let it eat them up inside.

Layne lost the love of his life 6 years ago; people would

actually show up

at the hospital with heroin for her in hopes of seeing him. Fans

even showed

up to her funeral! She too couldn't get away from the harassing

dealers and

on many occasions would have to hide in their house because

dealers or fans

with drugs would sit out front and stalk the place relentlessly.

Not for 20

minutes, not for an hour, we're talking: camping out, sleeping

in their

cars, sitting on the porch, and banging on the windows. Tell me

how you quit

an addiction when it's put in your face everywhere you turn?

Think of all

the freedoms you have, like going to the grocery store, going to

get gas,

going anywhere, which he didn't have.

You know how many people pretended to want to help him and ended

up stealing

from him? Not just things like money, his credit cards, music

equipment,

etc. but personal stuff he couldn't replace? Like pictures of

him and Demri,

or him and his friends, or him and his family. Those were

commodities to

people, to him they were valued treasures. Layne was never a

person to those

people, he was just a badge where people with low self-esteem

could brag

they knew him. In his altered sense and with his kind heart he

would never

get it until it was too late. When he did, he never did anything

harsh, like

press-charges. Those people robbed him of his girlfriend, robbed

him of his

family, and robbed him of his friends. Who out there would like

to go

through life wondering if everyone in your life has ulterior

motives and

never really knowing? The disappointment of how you'd feel when

you

discovered, one after another after another, had listened to

your innermost

personal thoughts, pretended to be a friend and wasn't.

He couldn't go back to music because heroin ravished his body

and it made

him feel more insecure and more like a target. Because of those

that feel

the need to put someone else down to feel good about themselves.

He spent

the last 5 years existing, not living. The Layne that died

wasn't the beam

of light he was to everyone that knew him. Although it was in

there

somewhere. Or the jokester that thought that farts were funny

and that would

laugh when Demri would geek out on a song or a commercial. He

didn't have a

home that was an open door to everyone like he did when he lived

on

Eastlake. The pad you could crash at after getting a little to

drunk at the

Off-Ramp or partying at the Son of Man house or El Steiner's.

Those were the

days he loved; a surprise birthday party at Naf's that Demri put

together

and his friends from War Babies, My Sister's Machine, Sweet

Water, Love on

Ice, etc. Playing, dressing up as a peasant girl for Halloween,

anything

chocolate, hanging out in the summer. It takes more than wanting

that back

for it to happen.

So they can say what they want, because the bottom line is it

doesn't matter

to those of us who knew and loved Layne and it certainly

wouldn't to Layne.

I doubt they matter to anyone in their lives and that's what's

really sad.

That they have to, like the drug addict harassers, latch on to

him in anyway

they can to feel like they got a piece of him and like they've

touched

greatness. What's even sadder is it's their loss because they

don't have a

person in their lives that would go to any lengths to put a

smile on their

face, do something for them, say nice things about them,

compliment them, or

make them feel good about themselves. Someone who would tell you

how much

value you had to him and to his life. All of us who knew him and

Demri could

go the rest of our lives as hermits with all the positivity they

passed on

to us because no one would be so lucky to get that in one

lifetime, let

alone from just 2 people.

I am glad he's not suffering anymore and I have no doubt Demri's

more than

happy to have him back. I am sure she's the Hostess with the

Mostest and has

made a home for everyone. With Andy, Shannon and Kurt who shared

her

birthday. With the recent death of one of her brothers, who died

in a car

crash last month. I'm positive, being the social butterfly she

is, everyone

in music is at their pad and they're just waiting for the rest

of us they

loved, and who loved them back, to arrive. Poor Layne has gone

back to being

the guy that everyone says, "Oh you're the guy that's Demri's

boyfriend";

with her being the celebrity in the family like it was when they

were first

dating.

Though I knew it would end this way, I refuse to forget the way

he was.

His name was Layne Elmer.

He liked wood shop and music.

He was a drummer first, then a singer.

He smoked some pot and popped cross tops.

He sang Metallica and Mercyful Fate covers in spandex and big

hair.

Even though he changed his last name, I always called him Elmer.

Even though he made it big, he always made time to visit with me

at shows.

Even though we didn't keep close contact, we always asked about

each others

families.

Even though he was famous, he acted like he wasn't.

Even though Layne Staley is a "God" or "Legend" to his fans, He

will always

be Layne Elmer to me.

[midnightactual]

PSA: Any Problems You Have With Yoruichi Are YOUR Problems

Because I've been thinking about this and kind of building to this conclusion for a while, with things like PSA: Some Muses Won't Open Up To Yours and Yoruichi As An Embodiment Of War, and older pieces like What Yoruichi Wants and The Duality of Yoruichi I want to finally address an ask I got almost two years ago.

(I am not going to restate the premises of those various articles here because... I already did that; it's your responsibility to read them to gain a further understanding of Yoruichi than what I present here.)

While I accept the ending commentary of that ask, which states that it was meant as constructive criticism and not as an attack, I still want to fully explain something so that nobody interacting with this blog is under any illusions. I choose to do this because this seems to be a recurring problem, and this ask is simply illustrative of an issue that people cannot seem to understand as it is largely outside of their lived experience. So, the pertinent part:

I think you fail to talk enough about Yoruichi's flaws and weaknesses. Just everything she behaves as is this ultimate badass who's powerful and narratively always correct. (She has a motorcycle, 3 degrees, is always on the right side of history, was doing things in WW2 that no other woman was doing (tho maybe they were and i just don't know enough about enough history) she has the tech to go to space, she doesn't need Kisuke or Tessai because she's already smart enough and a talented enough inventor to do it all herself, she has an app for everything that might be minorly inconveniencing, shes a coding genius, etc.). It makes her feel a little flat and feels limiting for her growth and development as well as making her hard to write with bc nothing mine or others muses can do will contribute in a meaningful way. Her weaknesses according to you seem to be 1) she doesn't kill if she can avoid it (but she will if she needs to) 2) She's private 3) ????? that feels like it?????

There are some technical mistakes in this description like: while it's true that she has three degrees, two Bachelor's and one Master's, it's functionally two as one is a continuation of the other; she has quite limited programming skills and doesn't write consumer-grade software, just some functional hardware-level code; her most widely-used solution to inconveniences, the Aifōn, was invented by Kisuke and she would barely claim to understand how it works; and probably some more things I could nitpick. But that isn't really the thrust of this argument.

The argument being made here is that Yoruichi is too perfect and too good at what she does, which seems to this commentator to be everything (although it isn't by any means); essentially, that she's bordering on if not outright actually a Mary Sue.

I'm here to tell you that's exactly what she wants you to believe. Not just your muse(s). You. The mun. She's almost permanently engaged in an active and deliberate psychological warfare campaign against anyone observing her. She's like Medusa, except instead of turning you to stone, the goal of her behavior is to rotate you and to on some level intimidate you so that you don't question her, her work, or her activities. Her purpose in doing this is to be outside the control of you and your muse(s), or anyone else for that matter. She perceives that as freedom, not having no responsibilities or obligations.

There is only one (1) exception to this in her mainline continuity, and she married her. (Digi's Kūkaku.)

There were also only really two (2) times she opened up to muses she felt could maybe take it, and that was received poorly by both when they got to see what was really under the surface. (Plou's Grimmjow and Rach's Hōgyoku.)

Now, maybe your muse(s) never felt or noticed anything was off, in which case congratulations: they're normal people who think about things a normal amount. But maybe your muses did feel or notice something was off, in which case congratulations: they're sensitive or insightful.

So, do they feel inferior or inadequate around Yoruichi for some nebulous reason you can't quite put your finger on? Do you feel like there's always this thin layer of separation between them if you really focus hard on that distance, like fiber optic glass but it seems as hard as diamond? Does it always feel like Yoruichi is playing with your muse, or toying with or finessing them some? Does it feel like some kind of calculations are happening?

It's supposed to feel that way if they can perceive it.

That means I'm doing my job as a mun. Does this bother you as a mun for some reason? If so, that's bleed! And that means:

If you don't like that, that is a you problem.

My muse is in character (more on why later). I am not going to write her out of character for you to feel better or to satisfy your muse(s). That point is non-negotiable. Furthermore, I won't tolerate any suggestions made to me as a result that she's invulnerable and therefore perfect, when I've written scenes like this, and drabbles like this, this, and this.

You aren't entitled to seeing her vulnerable, nor are you entitled to believing that you not seeing her vulnerable means she never is. Your lack of attention or interest is also a you problem.

If you don't like that, there's the door. There are other great variants of Yoruichi around, be they standalone or multimuse. I encourage you to seek them out. (You should do that anyway, and I generally feature their promos in solidarity whenever I become aware of one.) We don't need your custom here, and we won't compromise to have it. I do not care about being your one-stop-shop for Yoruichi, nor do I care about being part of a collection. If you don't like what happens here, leave.

Having made my red lines nicely bright and clear, let's talk about the why of this.

I said earlier that this misunderstanding exists because "people cannot seem to understand as it is largely outside of their lived experience." What the fuck does that actually mean?

Yoruichi is a supersoldier, and odds are you don't personally know any supersoldiers. I'm sure you've seen them portrayed, but most of those were written by civilians who know little to nothing about the nearest actual equivalent, special forces operators. You see, a true supersoldier isn't a mindless killing machine. They have to be highly adaptable to any circumstance, and that actually means being exceptionally personable, socially aware and intelligent, and diplomatic. One generally has to be a people person.

If you don't believe me, consider that most of what Western special forces have been doing for the last 20+ years in places like Afghanistan, Iraq, and Syria is interacting with the locals to get them on-side and keep them that way, especially in "tribal" areas. That's why the most common recurring euphemism for special forces is "military advisors". They talk a lot more than they shoot. They cut deals. They smooth things out. They only do action movie stuff when that fails.

This long-form quote appeared very early on here and got no play, but is I think quite important to understanding who Yoruichi really is.

Yoruichi is kind of like a combination of Master Chief Petty Officer John-117, Todd "3465", Jason Bourne, Angus MacGyver, Bruce Wayne, James Bond, and Hal, in a body that would make Bebe Rexha or Shakira blush. I've never made any secret of this. I've been over it again, and again, and again. The difference is that all the apparent weaknesses of those examples are sanded down or filled in and hidden behind a mirror shine. Of course they are! She's the Princess of, and then the actual Clan Head of, one of the Five Great Noble Clans, the most powerful political entities in existence which literally control reality itself and collectively serve as its de facto Emperor. Oh, and she was the first woman to hold that title too. I've talked about that too, as well as how it relates to Kūkaku and why the latter is the exemption (short answer: she can relate fully).

What exactly would make you think that displaying any weakness of any kind at any time is acceptable, given that?

Does that mean no weaknesses exist? No! Not by any stretch of the imagination. She has plenty of trauma of all kinds. She has hang-ups and worries and foibles and doubts. I've been over that again and again too. It's the bulk of her history, no matter how dryly it's related. This is also literally canon:

Do you notice how almost all of this is her internal thoughts, and although she ends with dialogue, she's out all by herself on the lip of Sōkyoku Hill at dawn? She only slips and voices her doubts out loud to someone else once at like the ultimate moment of tension:

Even when her own little brother was bleeding out and poisoned, she kept her cool:

Let me be emphatically clear: your muse(s) are not going to get through Yoruichi's surface layers, her presentation, her mask that she wears to fool them, unless she wants it.

Most of the time she doesn't. It doesn't end well. Other people can't relate. They can't handle it.

Even when she does want to let the mask slip, unless your blog URL is crashingheavens, you're only seeing so deep.

Let me be even clearer: whatever other muse is not so special as to be the chosen one that breaks down what is in this space 430 years of training, conditioning, and self-refinement. That is not a dig at that muse, that is a testament to Yoruichi's own individual strength, knowledge of herself, and self-assuredness.

If your conception of your own muse is so great that you need them to be the chosen one who can do that, you don't belong here. The job is filled.

She is not here to indulge your selfishness. Neither am I. This is Yoruichi's character as I see her. Some things are mutable, some things are not. What we're discussing here is in the latter category. I don't make any apology for that, nor will I ever. That's just how she is.

This doesn't mean another muse can't have a profound impact on her, as the quoted ask fears! Plenty have!

I've cited three examples already, with Kisuke, Grimmjow, and the Hōgyoku, but I'll provide another two with Ururu here and here. Something you'll notice though is that these examples happened largely on Yoruichi's own terms. That's the secret!

Yoruichi doesn't need your muse. That isn't an insult, nor does it mean she doesn't want them around. It only means she will not ever be codependent upon them.

Having laid all this out, this now functions as my warning sign on the matter, and I won't hesitate to tap the sign going forward if anyone complains about this kind of thing to me ever again.

[littlebigmouse]

TMA MAG 63

Man, there's too many bloody cults in here and I cannot keep them all straight. Anyway, that sounds like the darkness cult, right? They hung out in empty churches as well, no?

More importantly: Who is Georgie and was Jon genuinely friends with someone who runs a spook youtube channel and please tell me he helped out in an episode. I'm HERE for this backstory.

Also a distracting amount of new characters! There seems to be a new girl working - in the archives? Or maybe with Rose(?) at the front desk? Also Whoever Diana is. Yes, she runs the library, but now I do wonder of the set up of the whole Institute. They have an archive, with a head archivist and several archival assistants. They also have a research department that collaborates with universities, which I assume also features the library. Artefact storage could be a seperate organisational department or could be just run by the archivists too. But where is the research department and the library? I never thought to ask, but how many people were traumatized by the worms in S1? I know the building was evacuated early on, but I am suddenly deeply amused by the archives simply being located in the basement of an otherwise regular, lively building.

Imagine one of the library workers comes into the archives to make a statement about "you archivist creeps. I have no idea what's going on but since the worms it's been clear you've been getting up to real spooky shit by yourselves. Here's a few things we've noticed and also a bunch of restraining orders we want put up because honestly, the assistant with the scissorhands is pushing it." - "Michael?!" - "Yeah, that's what he said his name was. Anyway, real usefull during Marion's retirement party, way less useful when you're trying to hand him a stack of books to help you reshelf" - "Listen to me very carefully. We do not have an assistant named Michael. He's a supernatural entity that haunted Sascha and stabbed me" - "Not like you don't deserve it" - "What was that?" - "Nothing! So you're saying Michael is evil?" - "I'm saying I saw him make a woman disappear with my own two eyes and I am frankly freaked out by the fact that none of you librarians and researchers are dead yet. When did you see him, exactly?" - "Every tuesday and friday for library wide coffee breaks." - "You've got to be kidding me" - "I thought he was strange but like I said, you archive people are strange anyway! Next you'll tell me Mary from accounting is a serial killer or something" - "..." - "Oh fuck off Jon. I knew I shouldn't have come to the basement people" - "Is that really what everyone has been calling us" - "Tim's face used to be so pretty. Now you can fit fingers into the circles under his eyes. Y'all suck the joy out of everything." - "This place is literally haunted with horrors beyond our comprehension." - "I know Jon, I work in a library and my Latin is passable at best."

(that got away from me).

Wait, is Elias head of the Institute, or just head of the department? I thought he's just the head of the department, but if he's the head of the institute... UHM. What.

That doesn't actually change anything, I don't think. Only something about my perceived sense of responsibility for this guy? Ugh. Idk.

Oh right!

I'd originally meant to point out how Melanie reacted kind of weird to Sascha's name? If she didn't know her (which I don't think she would, given she's been there once), then why not just say so? Or why bring it up at all?

Are all the other new character mentions a distraction? Is Sascha a distraction? I'm sitting in front of a puzzle in the shape of a whole bunch of pretty women and can't make sense of it or even tell which one's real and which one's I'm supposed to know.

This is the tumblr porn bots all over again.