#not of their fight and not of their relationship but of WILL’S CHILDHOOD TOOLS FOR ESCAPISM

[counting-stars-gayly]

They’re not going to rebuild Castle Byers because Will can’t rebuild his childhood, which is the reason he destroyed Castle Byers in the first place. He’d been trying to hold on to a level of carefree ignorance that no longer existed for him. The problems Castle Byers saved him from have been replaced by new problems that are bigger and stronger than a child’s fort. He needs to face them differently. Thank you and goodnight

[convenientalias]

Why Nirvana in Fire Wins at Revenge Story with Identity Porn

Nirvana in Fire was my first ever cdrama that was a revenge story with identity porn. Since then, I've seen many other dramas along similar lines. A League of Nobleman. Blood of Youth. City of Streamer. Fighting for Love. Legend of Anle. Long Ballad. Princess Weiyoung. Rise of Phoenixes. Sword Dynasty. Weaving a Tale of Love. Word of Honor. Some of them are quite good but none of them really hit the same way. So, apart from the fact that it was the first one I ever watched, I thought I'd made a brief list of reasons why I think Nirvana in Fire is the best.

Lin Shu's Identity

I just appreciate that when shit went down and Lin Shu's whole family and army and many of his friends were killed and he became a man on the run, he was a full-grown man (okay, still pretty young, but definitely not a child) with his own life and even an army position.

A lot of these identity porn dramas will have their MCs meeting ppl for the first time in many years, in disguise, but they only knew these ppl when they were children. Childhood friends are great and all that, but can they hit as hard as the complicated, fleshed out relationships that Lin Shu had and lost? He had a friendship of many years with Jingyan. He had an engagement and a longstanding friendship with Nihuang. He has friends from the army, younger cousins playing the role of "we don't even understand what happened back then and maybe that's better", older friends and relations who he actually knew as an adult.

Simultaneously, his past identity increases the threat of discovery for Lin Shu. He's a known factor to many, many people in the capital. Yes, they think he's dead. But small things like a hazelnut allergy or his mannerisms or his previous friendships with people are still memorable enough that even with a completely different face, if he's not careful, he might give himself away. He's not infiltrating a group of strangers or people who only knew him as a kid. He's infiltrating a group of people who were close to him for many, many years of his life.

HOWEVER. Lin Shu's identity is not so important that everyone in the capital is still obsessed with him twelve years later (with some exceptions). This isn't Mysterious Lotus Casebook where we're all still pining for Li Xiangyi, because...

2. The Chiyan Case Wasn't Even About Lin Shu?? (Also, No One Cares About That Ancient History Anymore (Jingyan, Sit Down))

The Chiyan case wasn't about the Lin family at all, really.

No one specifically wanted Lin Shu dead or had a big grudge against his dad or anything. It's all about power, military and political. For some conspirators, it was just about getting a leg up in court. But mostly, it was about Prince Qi, the previous crown prince. The Lin family just happened to be friends with him and ended up in an uncomfortable (highly murderable and frameable) position.

Lin Shu may mourn his family, but for the majority of the show, he doesn't talk about it. He doesn't talk about his mother and his family back at the capital either committing suicide or being killed indiscriminately. He only mentions his father's name a handful of times in the whole show. Lin Shu's drive is that his father's ARMY was killed, tens of thousands of men. That's the weight on Lin Shu's shoulders: the death of all these innocent men because they were in the way. The Chiyan Case; the Chiyan Massacre. The denouement of Lin Shu's victory (not to give too many spoilers) is not just his father's name being cleared of a treason charge. It's when there's finally a memorial put up for the Chiyan Army, with memorial tablets that he can publicly visit to pay respects.

Why does this make it a better revenge story with identity porn? A couple reasons. First, Lin Shu is very much the center of the story and has very personal beef, but he treats himself like a tool and his objective isn't about himself or familial connections (they're part of it but they're not everything). He doesn't even know all the people he's avenging. That's fine; he'll still carry that weight. I just think it's neat.

Second, the fact that the Lin family (and the whole Chiyan Army) were really just collateral damage for getting rid of Prince Qi really emphasizes just how careless the current regime is of the value of human life.

Third, as Meng Zhi says when Lin Shu comes to the capital, everyone at court is busy with their own little power struggles and no one has time to care about Lin Shu or protect him. Lin Shu's like yeah that's fine :) I'm not anyone's focus anymore and the Lin family has been swept under the rug like we never existed :) and no one even talks about the Chiyan case anymore for fear of being accuse of treason :) that's all okay because I'm about TO MAKE THIS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM ANYWAY and honestly the fact that everyone's trying their hardest to forget will just make them more oblivious when I come to fuck them up.

3. All Of This is Whose Fault, Again?

That's right, folks, we're in a show that knows that when shit goes down at court and your family gets framed for treason and the emperor orders them executed, sure, you can blame the conspirators who framed them all you want, but also, YOU KIND OF DO HAVE TO BLAME THE EMPEROR.

People have said enough about how great this is on a thematic level of accountability but seriously I've seen so many shows dodge this. ~It's not the emperor's fault bc he was misled by these conspirators~ or ~the emperor is only a puppet emperor, if he actually had power instead of this evil person, he would put everything right.~ Or, if they dare to blame the emperor, maybe he's just an evil emperor and was bad all along. NIF says yeah, he was lied to on many levels. There was a whole complicated conspiracy going on and many people to blame. But he could have taken things slower. He could have required better evidence. He could have trusted people who had supported him for many years, at least enough to listen to their side of the story BEFORE KILLING THEM. And why didn't he? It's not because he's an idiot. It's because he's an emperor, and emperors don't like seeing other people gain enough power to even potentially become a threat. It's because he wasn't looking for the truth, he was looking for an excuse to kill. And he's not unusually evil for that; this kind of callousness towards murder and grasping for power at all costs is more the norm at court than any kind of honor or morality.

The Emperor's a nice guy sometimes! He used to fly kites with Lin Shu when he was young! His sons give him a headache, but honestly, relatable, they'd give you a headache too! He likes Consort Jing and honestly, who wouldn't! And he killed one of his sons, one of his closest friends, and an entire army, and he would do it again without hesitation. He's not especially evil. Being an emperor is bad enough.

4. Other Bad Guys

It's worth mentioning that Lin Shu's opponents are not stupid.

Xie Yu and Xia Jiang, Prince Yu and the Crown Prince, even the Empress and Noble Consort Yue: They aren't all geniuses, but they aren't idiots flailing around in spite. They're pretty smart, and if Lin Shu wants to take them down, he has to be smarter.

It's also worth mentioning that this is not one of those shows where the protagonist happens to take down his opponents mostly by standing still and just defending himself when they lash out at him. This seems like an obvious thing in a revenge drama, but the number of times I've seen the opposite, the protagonist swearing revenge and then just struggling with self preservation.... but no. Lin Shu has A Plan. He is going to be proactive and actually take his enemies down. Admittedly he will do this by revealing their past misdeeds but this isn't a case of "the misdeeds will just happen to pop up". This is a case of "I will actively unearth skeletons from where you threw them in a well in an abandoned manor".

TO SUM UP

Without going into the things that make Nirvana in Fire a great show in general (great acting, good pacing and plotting, good costuming, and so on and so forth) I think the main things that make it hit for me as a revenge story with identity porn are 1) letting the MC's past identity be that of a grown man who actually had a life (more connections to the past, but also more to lose and more danger in the present as a result), 2) the fact that the offense that the MC is avenging wasn't even like a personal thing to the offenders (bc! it's fucking infuriating!), 3) the fact that the drama is willing to face the root of the problem (the problem is both corruption at court and the fact that the highest arbiter is flawed, not just individual conspirators), 4) the supply of multiple good antagonists, and 5) LETTING THE MC ACTUALLY, ACTIVELY PURSUE REVENGE AND THAT'S THE MAIN PLOT AND WE AREN'T SPENDING MOST OF OUR SCREENTIME ON SIDEPLOTS AND ROMANCE OR MERE SELF PRESERVATION. These may not seem like large things but my friends, you would be surprised how many revenge dramas I've watched at this point that can't do them.

ok I'm done ranting. Feel like most of this is actually stating the obvious but I'm just in a mood and had to get it out. (...also possibly I've been let down by some revenge dramas lately but I won't get into it. it's okay. we can't all be Nirvana in Fire; only Nirvana in Fire can be Nirvana in Fire.)

[therealvinelle]

Why does Edward use his "old fashiodness" as a reason not to have sex before marriage bc people in the 1900s totally fucked

Yes they did, they also did other things they weren't supposed to.

Sex outside of marriage and promiscuity has been stigmatised since marriage was invented, and remains so in many cultures in the world today. Anthropologically, marriage has been a tool for men to own women and ensure heirs, and for women to be provided for (And for this reason is tied to the concept of property).

It is only recently in the West that this changed (and even then promiscuity remains a looked down upon trait), and that change is closely related to the financial liberation of women: if Elizabeth Bennet can find herself gainful employment and earn as much as any man, there is no need for her to be married and Mrs. Bennet doesn't mind not having any sons. Likewise, women can't leave relationships if they'll be out on the streets: the steep rise in divorce rates in the 20th century was a direct result of women's financial independence.

Edward lived in a world where women were not financially independent, and if a woman had a child outside of wedlock, both her and the child would live in shame. It's not even long ago, when my great-grandmother was little there was a girl staying at her aunt's house who was pregnant and who lived there, cooped up in a single room until she had the baby, so the people where she ordinarily lived wouldn't find out she'd been pregnant. This was in the 1920's. There were also women's houses (I don't know what you would call them in English) were pregnant unmarried women would come to live until they'd had their children, at which point they returned to wherever they'd come from and the children were adopted out. This meant their lives didn't have to be ruined. My grandmother remembers such houses being prolific even in her childhood, and that was in the 1950's.

The men were not looked well upon either, because if you don't marry the woman it usually means you were already married, or you simply didn't want to take on responsibility: either way you thought a woman getting pregnant, losing social standing and prospects and endangering her health (childbirth mortality rates only began dropping in the West around the 1930's) because you wanted to get rocks off was an acceptable quid pro quo. It's not a good look. (However, the father is not the one stuck with the nine month pregnancy and human child, so a child outside of marriage still had worse consequences for the mother.)

Edward having a deep rooted refusal to sleep with Bella without marrying her first isn't something I'll fault him for, especially not when Bella immediately got pregnant, proving that these things do happen when you least want them to. If I lived a hundred years I imagine there would be deep rooted notions my much younger peers would consider archaic that remained with me as well. Maybe I will be saying "Well when I was young, we kept our cats indoors!" while people just stare because there are no cars on the streets and the birds all died, let the damn cat enjoy the grass. Or "Well, in my day I took one shower each day! And sometimes- I took two! All of it in drinking water, hahaha!" will be a wasteful and shocking statement that appalls and embarrasses the children.

Culture and norms change when society changes, is what I'm saying. This can be for the worse and for the better (and I'm always slightly terrified when people assume that the world will continue to change for the better through some natural default. We in the Western World have been on a positive trajectory in terms of civil rights for the past century, that is great, but societies have made progress before and seen that progress be lost), in terms of women's sexual freedom it has been for the better since Edward's time.

Financial independence, abortion, and tireless feminists fighting for social change are what we have to thank for marriage no longer being socially required for women who wish to be sexually active, and even then I have to wonder - say the next United States election is won by a certain someone who seems uninterested in preserving the democrat process in the country, and the House and Senate majority is Republican. Abortion rights would not be strengthened in that scenario, but more likely further gutted, and recovering them would be very difficult if the concerns about the Republican candidate's antidemocratic alignments should be correct. You could also start getting worried about things like sexual education. Say ten, fifteen, twenty years go by. How do you imagine that's going to change the reality of young women who have sex outside of wedlock and got pregnant, and now can't abort the child? And what ripple effects do you think this might have?

To put it this way, looking at a different civil rights issue - I'm young, I'm under 30, yet I remember growing up barely knowing what "gay" was, just that it was a schoolyard insult (where the insult worked because the boy being bullied also didn't know what "gay" was, and tentatively said "... yes?" when asked if he was gay), and now schools draw rainbows and participate in Pride. Culture has changed tremendously, it's a very happy change, but I won't presume gay rights have come to stay and can't be taken away (just look to what's happened in Poland), nor will I presume these changes can't happen quicker than one would expect. I similarly will not presume women's rights are iron clad.

And should things go very awry, then men like Edward who don't have sex with women unless there's a wedding ring in place will be the good eggs.

In other words I'm very "But why were they different?" about things that were different about the past.

(Also I do not want to fearmonger. So, to be clear: I don't think The Handmaiden is becoming reality in the States tomorrow if the Republican side wins the US Election, I don't think we're all being shipped off to the gulags. I do however think that the belief civil rights gains are ironclad and a done deal is a terrifyingly naive one, and betrays historical and contemporary ignorance. Society will change, that's inevitable, and complacency risks that chance being for the worse.)

[twilightkitkat]

Thoughts on Origins Victor? My theory is that he accepted his inner animal because when his mutation emerged it gave him an opportunity not to be a victim anymore. (The movie doesn't state this but i think we all know from sub context that Thomas beat him regularly) And he was so brutal and arrogant because being the man meant having to come to terms with the abuse he suffered and so he lost himself in his animalistic side. He wanted Logan being like him too because for him it meant strength and not being vulnerable. But all in all he cared about Logan deeply. He loved him. When he encouraged him to kill him later on he didn't wanna die. And he knew Logan wouldn't have done it. But during that moment he could feel Logan's animal side breaking to the surface stronger than ever before and wanted to encourage his little brother to fully submit to it. So that he would become strong. Because Logan's empathy and morals were weakness in his eyes. A weakness that Logan needed to be freed from in order to overcome his emotial pain.

So what you think?

I think that Victor's childhood trauma definitely played a vital part in shaping who he became. He was used to being seen as less than, to getting beaten, to being constantly reminded that he was beneath everyone. This manifested into an obsession with hierarchy and being the "apex predator" to overcompensate for how he felt as a kid, weak and beneath the feet of those above him. He lived life by the status quo, and so if he wanted to survive he needed to claw his way to the top of it the only way he knew how: violence.

His need for the control he never had in his childhood manifests into a perverted form of sadism. He likes being in power and playing "god" over whether people live or die. He likes seeing how terrified people are of him, because it means he has the power. It comforts him to know how far he's come and that he isn't the same weak little kid he used to be. It's nice to be respected, even if that respect is built on fear and only kept through violence.

Victor is also characterized by a remarkable lack of empathy, which leads me to believe he either was born with or developed ASPD. His lack of empathy isn't what drives him to kill, that's for the reasons stated above, but it makes it easier for him to detach himself from it all. In the Origins movie, he never seems to view his victims as "humans." He views them as means to an end so that he can get to Logan or as victims or tools to display his dominance to those around him. He doesn't feel remorse for his actions because he has difficulties understanding "normal" emotions and he isn't thinking of people as dynamic individuals with lives and hopes and dreams.

This especially affects his relationship with Logan. Logan also struggles with empathy in some cases, but not to the same degree as Victor. Logan sees people as they are—people. He is capable of detaching himself from them to some extent, which is why he was able to stay with Victor throughout the wars and continue fighting, but not entirely. When they start killing civilians outright, not just nameless soldiers who signed up for battle, Logan can't take it anymore. He snaps.

And Victor doesn't understand this. His lack of empathy isn't just for the people he kills, but for Logan, too. It isn't that Victor doesn't care about Logan, but he can't understand him. What does he mean, he feels bad? Doesn't Logan get that those people don't matter, that they're just tools to let them climb up the ranks?

It's why he feels so betrayed when Logan walks away. To him, Logan left him over a squabble about toys. He thinks that leaving because he kills people is a petty reason, and that Logan would leave him over just that. After all they've been through. All Victor's done for him.

Logan, to Victor, is someone he's entitled to. He's the only person who's immortal like him, who has been by his side since the start. Their relationship is unhealthy and a little coercive but Victor cares about Logan in a way he doesn't for anyone else. He loves him. Getting "betrayed" by Logan was what caused Victor to finally crack and go fully to the dark side, even if he was heading there anyway.

Victor thinks that Logan's morality and humanity are weaknesses. Victor gave into his animalistic side because it gave him more power and it made people fear him. It made him a sharp and unpredictable tool, a wild animal with a loose leash at the top of the food chain. Exactly where he wanted to be.

But Victor doesn't understand that Logan doesn't want that. Giving in completely to becoming an animal means denying yourself the ability to be human. To have human luxuries and emotions and comforts. It's denying the other half of himself. And Victor is fine with that, because he views that half as weak and useless, but Logan isn't.

In the end, Logan's soft side is just as much of a strength as it is a weakness. It lets him be both a human and an animal. It lets him form genuine connections and emotional bonds. It gives him strength and a network of support and a greater purpose. Something to fight for.

Victor only sees this when it's too late. He goads Logan into almost killing him because he wants to prove, once and for all, that his ideals are correct. That Logan was an apex predator like him, that he was just as much of animal, that they were one and the same and there was no denying his roots. He wanted to prove that Logan was like him because he wanted to walk the same path as him. (To have someone who understood him. The only "human" luxury he'd allow.)

But Logan turns him down. He sneers at his way of living and leaves. He rejects him once and for all.

And when Victor reunites with him much, much, later, he sees why. Because had Victor ever been as happy as Logan looked right now? Had he ever allowed himself to be content, to not obsess over his standing or power? Had he ever just let himself be human because at least then he could be happy?

Logan looks at Wade like he's his reason for living, his life partner, the thing he's been looking for his entire life. He looks at Wade like he's his home.

When was the last time Victor felt like he had that?

[wilcze-kudly]

The more I think about it, the more I think Bolin could easily embody that "human treated as a weapon/tool, who also believes that of themselves" tropes.

Like, it is not a stretch to say that Bolin has been "used" at least three times by antagonists of the show. By Kuvira, for his unique bending abilities and his good reputation, by Varrick for his looks, charisma and popularitu and by Eska for physical labour and her... um... you know I think I'll need to make another long post about Eska's weirdly intense attachment to Bolin.

In these relationships there is an onbious pattern, Bolin letting a more assertive/experienced person take the lead and order him around. Even when he's hurt or humiliated or frightened, he keeps his head down and does what is required of him until some big event (usually only vagely related to his current predicament ) allows him to "break free".

But without a decisive push, Bolin often appears unable or extremely unwilling to disobey the people he views as currently 'in control of him'. Often he's manipulated or pushed into something he's uncomfortable with, or explicity doesn't want to do, even hurting those he cares about.

Sometimes I wonder if even Bolin subconsciously sees himself as just a tool for others to wield and command. That it's easier to let others take charge than to think for himself, than to deal with the responsibility of governing himself. A responsibility he was never taught to handle.

This, as most analysis of Bolin ties back to his traumatic childhood and his codependent relationship with Mako.

Bolin grew up following Mako's lead. He never got to peel off from Mako, never got to slowly build up his independence, as children in more stable environments do. Because seperation from his brother would usually mean danger.

Hell, Mako often acts like a strict parent, since he had to step up to the role. However, often Mako tends to disregard Bolin's own agency and preferences in favour of Bolin's physical safety. Which isn't a bad thing, and Mako was doing as best he could, however this does obviously lead to Bolin being a little stunted in the decisionmaking department.

Bolin lacks agency, as a person. He relies on others leading him. One of the reasons him and Korra get along so well. She's headstrong and decisive and can easily direct him. This is probably why he also gravitated to Kuvira after Korra became incapacitated. He even explained to Mako that "Kuvira is basically just like Korra".

Bolin likes to be given a purpose and that purpose is given to hin by other people. You can see how lost he is when left to his own devices. I mean, Mako left him alone for like 2 days in B2 and Bolin immediately glued himself to Varrick like an abandoned baby koala. And the only times he was able to stand up to Mako, someone who often guides him, is when Bolin is, let's say, "wielded" by someone else (Varrick or Kuvira respectively). It's also fucking painful that whenever Bolin does branch off from Mako, he's always slapped back down, because the person who lead him "astray" turned out to be a villain.

Especially between seasons, and post B4 when team Avatar isn't together, isn't actively driven to do something, Bolin gets lost.

He's aimless in times of peace. He bounces from career to career, unable to focus on anything, because he's so used to tob being directed to fight, to literally survive. It's also important to note that he started training under Toza when he was like 13, no wonder all he can do is combat.

This, coupled with his lavabending being one of Bolin's most prominent skills (also note that lavabending is the only discipline of earthbending we've seen that can't easily be translated into building or art. Lavabending is pure destruction, at least in the form we're shown.).

Korra has her Avatar status, wisdom gained through adversity and her determination. Asami has her company, her ingenuity and drive. Mako has his detective work, and deductive skills. Bolin's just a good fighter and occasionally lifting the mood.

How is he meant to exist in times of peace?

Even though he is clearly uncomfortable with conflict.

Does Bolin have any interests? Things he likes to do other than eat? Other than perform and contort himself for other people to like him?

I thought the mind control plot from Rote could've started an arc of Bolin realising he can be more than a pawn or a tool, but alas, the comic was dissapointing on many fronts, including this one.

I know Bolin is supposed to be the imamture comic relief character, but he's very compelling and multifaceted to me. He has a lot of potential to be a groundbreaking character, however it doesn't seem like the creators are going that way. So um. That sucks.

Also this whole thought process came to me from listening to She was a bird, I was an arrow and thinking of weilin so that's the context of this analysis lol.

I'm gonna need to clear these thoughts up after a while, but hey, enjoy the silly Bolin rambles

[xhoneygirlxx]

my salvation

Eddie Munson x reader

summary: when it all becomes too much, you go to one person.

warnings: established relationship, mentions of mental health issues, depression/anxiety, panic attack. pronouns not used, Eddie calls reader pet names (baby, sweetheart, honey, etc.). modern au!, current technology and movies mentioned. bad writing and not proofread, if there are any grammar mistakes pretend like it's not there. pictures used do not describe reader in anyway, only used for aesthetic purposes. 18+ Minors please go away :)

a/n: as someone who deals with panic attacks, sometimes all i want is for someone to just hold me. there's moments where i don't want any questions asked because i can become embarrassed very easily which makes it worse. if any of you guys are dealing with mental health issues, just know that you are loved, and my page is always a safe place <3

The room is shrouded in darkness, the only light is the yellow shine of the streetlamp outside your room. When you got home from work, you told Eddie that you needed to lay down, physically drained from the week you had just had. Your boyfriend being the angel he is, helped you into the bed and placed a wet kiss on your head, telling you if you needed anything just to call for him and he'd be there.

Work had been a nightmare recently, your whole department swamped with ten times the work you're used to due to an overflow of paperwork. Your boss, Doug, had been an asshole to you in particular, even though you weren't even the head of your team. It didn't matter because he made it a point to single you out, ride your ass all week, and when all was said and done he never thanked you for all the late shifts you pulled to get it all back together.

The whole way home all you could think about was your bed, curling up under the blankets, and just turning the whole world off. It was Friday night and rather than spend time with your boyfriend that you hadn't seen all week because of conflicting working schedules, you were laying in bed too exhausted to do anything else.

However you couldn't sleep, your eyes screaming to rest, yet your mind couldn't shut off. There was something happening, swarm of emotions starting in your mind, and you were trying everything to keep out of the eye of the storm.

As you stare up at the dark ceiling you could feel the burn behind your eyes, crawling it's way out to be released. Your body was sinking further and further into the bed like a cement block. The tingle of your fingers had alerted you, setting off the bells and whistles in your head.

The room that you were once in is now gone, replaced by grey skies and dark water. The waves are choppy, quick, and strong, pushing you around like a ragdoll being chewed on by a dog. Kicking your legs and pushing your arms, you try to stay afloat.

The pounding of your heart is loud, beating deafeningly in your ears like a kick drum. It's constant, it's overwhelming, and you can't control it. Your mouth won't open, refusing to cooperate like you swallowed a bunch of super glue, trapping it shut.

While you're trying to save yourself from the dark abyss you were heading into, you couldn't feel your legs anymore, like you were paralyzed by impending doom.

Here in the dark bedroom that you and your boyfriend share, you lay motionless, tears rolling down the side of your cheeks onto the pillow under your head. Your chest is moving rapidly up and down, trying to find the air that it desperately needs.

You're trying everything that you learned in your years of therapy, repeating all the street names of your childhood neighborhood, counting Mississippi's, naming every thing you see, touch, hear. Every tool, every lesson that you were taught, and nothing is working. The life preservers and rafts aren't helping you survive these tsunami like waves.

You can't do this on your own, fight this battle without any teammates. You know the minute you try to stand your legs will give out on you, so there's only one thing you can do. Reaching your hand to the nightstand next to the bed, you pat your hand around trying your last weapon.

When you feel your phone in the palm of your hand, you move it quickly to your face. The words on the bright screen are hard to see with the way your neck is craned and the tears that are blurring your vision.

With whatever strength you have, you text Eddie, praying to the gods above that he can hear his phone over his video game. Without trying to alert him, you simply tell him that you need him to come to you.

You can hear him, laughing and joking with his friends on his headset. The voice of the only person who can save you from drowning is right behind that door, yet he feels so far away.

Shutting your phone off and throwing it somewhere on the bed, you continue to sit there in the darkness, tied down by the invisible chains your mind has wrapped around you.

No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to get the oxygen to your lungs. The pounding of your heart is growing louder, the waves are getting stronger and stronger, pulling you completely under.

What you don't realize is that your salvation is right there, reaching his hand out and pulling you up from the angry sea.

Through the crashing sounds of the water you hear him, his voice brings you back to safety. When you open your eyes he's there, hovering over you, calling out to you like an angel at the pearly white gates.

"Baby," the mattress dips down beside you where he's sat, "Baby, hey, what's wrong?"

Blinking away the salty water from your eyes, you can see Eddie. His eyebrows scrunched up in worry, mouth pulled down with a frown. Because of the bright lamp he must've turned on, you can see his eyes, big chocolate pools swarming with concern, flickering back and forth trying to study your face.

The minute you register what's happening it all comes crashing down, the fear, the sadness, the worry. Your mouth that was once locked shut, has finally freed itself from it restraints. No words come out, only the loud sobbing that was trapped in your throat.

You can hear the shuffling from your boyfriend, the pressure of his full body weight next to you. He doesn't hesitate to hold you, engulfing you into a bear hug. You wish that you could feel your limbs, that the fuzziness that pulses through them would go away, so you could feel his touch.

Your whole body is shaking, releasing all the emotion that was trapped inside. The sound of your pounding heart is now replaced with your wailing that vibrates off of Eddie's chest. The cotton of his shirt is soaked with tears and snot, and you know that when you pull away you won't look pretty but you can't care, not when your lungs are burning with the sea water you swallowed while drowning.

"It's okay sweetheart, I got you." Eddie's voice rattles through his chest, right where your head lays. He repeats this mantra over and over again to you, like a prayer.

"I'm s-so sorry, Eddie. I'm so s-sorry." You don't know why you're apologizing and he doesn't question it, only rubbing his hand back and forth on the middle of your back.

"I'm so sorry, Eddie. P-please don't leave, leave me." The sentence is hiccupped through your crying. There's nothing for you to be sorry for, no reason for him to get up and leave you, but you can't help but repeat it over and over again.

Maybe you're apologizing because you hadn't seen him all week. Maybe you're sorry for interrupting his game session with the boys. Maybe you're apologizing to Doug for not being on top of your game at work. Maybe you're apologizing to the barista that made your drink wrong and having her remake it. Maybe you're sorry to yourself for putting up with every single thing and not sticking up for yourself. Maybe you're sorry for putting your body through torture everyday, not giving it the proper care and fuel that it needs to survive.

Every single little thing that's been bothering you is coming out now, the evidence on your boyfriends beloved Metallica shirt. You can feel your body deflate, like a balloon that's seeping out helium.

"Honey, I need you to take one deep breath for me. All I want is one big one, okay? Can you do that for me, love?" Eddie's tone is gentle even though he's demanding something you're not sure you can do.

With whatever strength you have in your body, you nod. With a whispered okay, he instructs you to follow him. His chest expands and then shrinks back down, your head moving with it. On autopilot you follow him, doing exactly what he did.

"There you go, baby. You're doin' such a good job for me."

The thing you once craved is now back within your body, your chest lighter than before. The muscles in your throat aren't tight anymore, allowing airflow back through. In that moment, Eddie's words and comfort is what brings you back down to your body. You can feel the warmth of his touch, his curls tickling your cheek.

Your teeth pulse with a heartbeat and your lips feel like your leg after you sat on it for too long. Everything is coming back to you now and you aren't scared anymore.

The cries that once ricocheted off the walls are now gone, the only thing that's heard is your breathing and small hiccups in between. There isn't a word spoken, not a question asked, just quietness. You push your face a little further into Eddie's chest, seeking refuge in the thing that just pulled you out from your demise.

After what feels like forever, Eddie finally breaks the comfortable silence. "You feelin' okay?" You don't respond verbally, rather nodding your head in response.

He hums, kissing the top of your head so lightly you almost miss it. He sits with you for a little bit longer before urging you up from your spot of comfort. Guiding you to the bathroom, he takes a cold wash cloth to your face, wiping away the stickiness of your tears and the mess of your snot with a light hand.

When you're all clean and your nose is blown, you follow him into the living room, where he sits you down. Turning off his game, he switched the tv to Disney plus to put on your comfort movie. Without another word, he moves into the kitchen where he opens and closes cabinets and the fridge.

Returning to the living room, he takes a seat right next to you, placing a plate with a sandwich on your legs. A cold bottle of water sits in his hand, you watch ringed fingers twist the cap off. Gently, Eddie puts his hands under your chin and lift the bottle to your lips, where you happily accept the cold water.

You eat your pb&j while watching Toy Story, taking a ragged breath every once and a while. When the sandwich is eaten, Eddie takes your plate and places it on the coffee table, and then hands you your water to take another sip.

Wrapping his arm around you, he pulls you into the side of his body, gripping onto you like his life depended on it. You don't mind it either, sinking into him with ease.

"My lovebug, so strong and brave. I'm proud of you." His hand pets the top of your head, pushing any loose hair out of your face.

Everything is right again, falling into place where it should be. Not everything is going to be like this, you remind yourself, nothing is ever bad when you have the love of your life sitting next to you. His scent calming you, the beat of his heart music to your ears, the heat of his skin comforting you.

__

thank you all for reading! love you all :)

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Johnny Cade and Steve Randle as Foils

Ok so the great thing about the Outsiders is how every character foils every other character in some way, but there is one glaringly obvious foiling is barely ever talked about and it drives me crazy because it’s brilliant. I’m talking of course, about the similarities between Johnny Cade and Steve Randle.

The brilliance of them as characters is that personality wise they’re almost complete opposites. Steve is cocky and self assured and has a bitter, occasionally cruel streak a mile wide. Johnny on the other hand, is unsure, quiet, and deeply kind. These differences are what people seem to focus on the most when discussing these characters, but as characters they’re actually INCREDIBLY similar.

Both of them are the members of the gang with the worst home lives, coming from downright abusive situations- yes, Dallas had a shit dad, but at the time of the book it’s established he’s living by himself at Buck’s, he’s made himself an adult and as such his home life doesn’t foil Johnny’s, not really. Steve on the other hand, still lives at home but gets kicked out every other week, and ends up crashing at the Curtis place or anywhere else he can find. His mother is deliberately never mentioned, leaving the audience to draw their own conclusions, but it’s clear Steve doesn’t have much of a relationship with her. Either she’s a doormat who doesn’t defend him when his dad is hollering or maybe even beating him around, or she isn’t around at all and she left him with his dad. Either way, Steve has an abusive father (EVEN if it isn’t physical it is DEFINITELY psychological and emotional) and a neglectful mother. We have even more backstory for Johnny whose mother is an emotionally abusive ‘selfish slob’ and whose father beats him viciously. Of all the gang, their backstories and home life are the most similar, and their characters have been shaped by it as a result. (The way Steve is sometimes vilified in this fandom for his very real responses to childhood trauma and abuse, while Johnny is universally pitied is a whole other essay so I’ll save if for another day.) 

Ponyboy even says as much early on in the book;

 “Johnny was high-strung anyway, a nervous wreck from getting belted every time he turned around and from hearing his parents fight all the time. Living in those conditions might have turned someone else rebellious and bitter; it was killing Johnny.”

Rebellious and bitter, huh? Sounds like Steve Randle to me. His presence in the book is to show what kids in Johnny’s situation but without Johnny’s kindness turn into. Yes, Dally foils him a bit in this regard too, but I think Steve is a better, more in your face example of it. Their are other pieces in the book too, that highlight Steve and Johnny’s similar upbringing and the effects it has had on them, without directly calling them out as foiling characters, such as the fact they’re the two members of the gang who Pony calls out as examples when he’s talking about starting smoking young (woohoo nicotine as a coping mechanism am I right?);

“Johnny had been smoking since he was nine; Steve started at eleven.”

Here, the linking of their names even in what Pony views as an innocuous thing- smoking isn’t a big deal to him- forces us as readers to think about why they started. Knowing that smoking is used by the greasers as a tool to help them calm down reminds us that at their core these characters aren’t so different, and they likely felt the need for nicotine to deal with horrible experiences Pony never had to. Ponyboy smokes a lot, and he started young too, but whatever his catalyst was, it wasn’t the same as Johnny or Steve’s.

Yet another attribute that links them as characters is their fierce independence. Johnny is young, and the gang is protective of him, but as his core he is incredibly self sufficient because he has to be. He finds himself places to sleep, is forced to provide himself with food, and prior to being jumped was fine walking by himself. Steve works for a living, and much like Johnny, he too has to find himself a place to sleep and food to eat on the nights where he isn’t safe to be at home. Both Steve and Johnny are also incredibly protective in their own ways, especially of their more ‘innocent’ best friends (Soda is less innocent than Pony by a long shot, but he is still used to a modicum of security that Steve isn’t.) Steve gets angry at Ponyboy on Soda’s behalf when he asks about Sandy, even though Pony had no way of knowing what happened. Johnny kills Bob for Pony and looks out for him a whole lot in the church, then later sacrifices himself when he pushes Pony out of the fire. To their buddies, their main ‘safe’ zones, both Steve and Johnny are ride or die.

Finally, an important scene that rounds out my analysis of them as foils, is when Dally dies and Steve breaks down crying. 

“Steve stumbled forward with a sob, but Soda caught him by the shoulders.”

Here we see Steve Randle pushed to his limit- and Steve’s breaking point leads to tears, whereas Johnny’s breaking point pushed him to kill Bob. There’s a subversion of their roles here, where the usually cold, bitter, hateful Steve shows a sensitive side, and quiet little Johnny Cade gets rough and cold. To me, this just shows once again, how they’re very similar characters, with similar trauma, that has simply shaped them differently and made them tough in different ways. Steve, with bravado, craving a fight all the time because he can’t fight the helplessness or the feelings of being stuck; Johnny, resigned to his lot in life and tough because of it, seeking out love when he knows he will never find it where he wants it; but at their cores the both of them are battered, lonely kids who were forced to grow up way too fast. 

[wilsons-journey]

Neeve Wynther

Looks like someone never told us about his twin Sister.

Both were raised to serve and kill. Yet both deal very different with all the shit in their life - but in core, both are incredible stubborn, just in their very own way:

Valefor thrives on spite - "I was dragged to my worst place, and I won't give anyone the satisfaction of dragging me further down."

Neeve on the other hand thrives on optimism - "I've been at rock bottom, so things can only go up!"

(Special thanks to Rolan (BrightwingedBat) for putting it in these wonderful words)

More about her and Valefors relationship under the cut:

Despite connected in blood - they never really bonded. Until later in their life.

Neeve was ready to give her life to the idea only to live to serve and kill. She was good in that. Everyone praised her for her incredible skills, while Valefor struggled during their childhood.

She soon becomes a valuable asset to Israfils servants. She is happy to be a tool - that makes her useful and makes her seen. The urge to feel important to someone - no matter who - gets stronger after a seemingly stranger saved her life. The feeling she got out of this situation moved something in her view. At first she saw this as granted, because she is valuable. She is needed - nothing goes without her! Its later when she understands, it had nothing to do with her - that person just did, what he thought was right in that moment.

Some years later, when her brother once again entered the organisation, she learns how easily you can get replaced. She fails in a mission and Valefor was tasked to get rid of this mistake.

Valefor offered her to let her go - let her live. Even if they spend most of their life apart and barely knew each other, he hesitated to put his sister down. Neeve in her stubbornness refused this offer, thinking if I kill him fist, I prove my worth once again and can go back.

But she looses. Both siblings take some scars from this fight - Neeve more than Valefor (I decided some of his face scars are from her). The Scars in Neeves Face and the blind eye are the result of that fight. Also a scar on her head, covered by her hair, is from that day. Valefor knocked her out to spare her life.

This head injury sadly had some lasting effects. She experiences memory loss and nasty headaches from time to time, that also triggers bad memories/nightmares or even hallucinations. In best times the head injury just makes her zone out - completely forgetting everything around her.

From that day on she had to pull through some years of extreme memory loss. But this also helps her to develop to be her own person - not only a tool. The basic urge to matter to someone still remains.

At first she tries to force friendships. Later she tries to form friendships by favors like - I do this thing for you and you're my friend. But none of this ever feels real. Not like this vague memory she had of the moment this stranger saved her.

So her life becomes a journey to find a placeor someone that cares and sees her - the real her. During this time she works as mercenary and befriends a small merchant group. Her first real relationship, that might started on favors but developed with trust. From this group she received her new Name "Neeve". From that day she no longer goes by the name Valafar, that only gave her a bad feeling after the head incident.

Some years later, to a time when Valefor broke free from Israfil, she seeks him out, in hope to reconnect with him. She hopes their connection in blood matters - automatically giving them a meaningful connectiong.

This don't work out - not as fast as she had hoped for at least. Valefor initially refused to welcome her back in his life. He still sees the stubborn, competitive warrior in her, that only seeks to be better than everyone else. And in part it's still true. She wants to show everyone how awesome she is - how strong she is.

It's in another heated fight Valefor realized the true nature behind her behavior. But also the weight of his past action - he realitzed the permanent damage he had caused to her, when he tried to spare her.

This soften up the grumpy man,... and slowly accepting Neeve back in his life - accepting her as his sister. They still have to work through a lot - like Neeve still have to learn a lot about trust and empathy. But they will work through it - giving each other something back, they never able to experience - a family.

She will settle down near Valefor's and Kyings home and open a Forge, where she crafts excellent weapons and armor. And with the difference put aside, she and Valefor have the opportunity to become a powerful duo in combat. While Valefor is best in Meele, Neeve thrives in ranged combat - making these two very deadly to face.

So it's no surprise they soon or later train together, giving Kying some rest. Before that he had to help Valefor satisfy his urge to fight. Now the demon siblings can bash their heads, while also working on their relationship.

And funny lil sidenote: She will adapt Valefors passion for music. So you can see these two kick some beats together.

And I guess from that moment on, Neeve truly starts to be more herself. Doing things she enjoys without a second thought.

Some short facts:

Neeve real name was Valafar

She is AroAce

She is a Guardian like Valefor, casting cold / blue flames

She is also part Demon

She has Chains around her arms , she uses these as an extension of her weapon. She attaches her blades to these, to turn them into ranged weapons (similar to a Kusarigama)

like her brother, she cares little for food

Her passion is blacksmithing. She values a good crafted blade and goes nuts over hit. Its the only thing she truly understands

She believes: If you try hard enough, things will work out - with that mindset she often tries to force things, like reconnecting with her brother

Thats also makes her a try hard (perfectionist) - she tries to optimizing the shit out of everything.

[melverie]

Okay, but you guys do realize that the reason Mephisto behaves the way he does is because he has been raised with the intent of only being beneficial to the future demon king and nothing else, right?

(Buckle up because this is going to be a loooonnngggg post)

Mephisto comes from a family that has been serving the royal family for ages. He mentions multiple times that his family has always acted as their knights, their advisors and their protectors to them, and it won't be any different with him. It shouldn't be any different with him. Being beneficial to Diavolo has literally been decided to be the very meaning of his life even before he was born. He's been forced into the role and he's following it to a T because he's never known anything else, and because he can't afford to lose that. Without it, what else is left of him? What worth does he hold other than being essentially a tool for Diavolo?

And then the brothers fall and suddenly his position is at risk. Lucifer and Diavolo have already gotten along fairly well back when Lucifer was still an angel. Both Diavolo and Lucifer (as well as several others) mention that they go way back in their Nightbringer homescreen dialogues, and we see them having mutual respect by the end of the 'The Glory Days' Devilgram in the original game. Mephisto and Diavolo meanwhile might be childhood friends, but here's the thing

Diavolo wants a friend. A real friend. Someone that genuinely appreciates him for who he is as a person instead of focusing on his status as the future demon king. And that's something Lucifer can give him. They often hang out for the sake of it (apparently even eating dinner at Ristorante Six together regularly), they regularly engage in lighthearted banter, and Lucifer isn't afraid to give Diavolo his honest opinion

But that's not really the case with Mephisto...? He was never meant to be on equal footing with Diavolo; Diavolo even calls him "mini-Barbatos" at one point. He is literally still calling him 'Lord Diavolo' all the time, requests to speak his honest opinion first and waits for Diavolo to allow him to do so before actually giving it. That's why Mephisto keeps pushing down his own feelings and keeps showering Diavolo in praise any opportunity he gets while he adjusts every aspect of life to be beneficial to Diavolo in a way. Sure, he might be popular, but as long as Diavolo doesn't want him to get married he doesn't even waste a thought about relationships. He might have no real interest in journalism, but of course he'll take over RAD's Newspaper Club. After all, Diavolo asked him to! He's part of the House of Lords because as the future king's right-hand man that just makes sense. He was always just meant to be a tool for the crown prince to use, so he doesn't know how to treat Diavolo as anything but. He was literally groomed to be dispensable, so he's obviously going to act like it

And that's also where Mephisto's dislike for Lucifer stems from—he can only watch as Lucifer slowly grows closer and closer to Diavolo, and threatens to take the role that was always made up to be his. And so Mephisto keeps challenging Lucifer over and over again, trying to sabotage their friendship any way he can in hopes of winning back his position as the crown prince's right-hand man

That obviously doesn't make the way he treats Lucifer (and the rest of the brothers!) right. Lucifer isn't responsible for any of this, and blaming him for it is misguided. But it still doesn't change the fact that Mephisto has the right to be hurt at the situation at hand. His entire purpose of existence is just being ripped away from him right before his eyes and all he can do is watch. That must hurt. Especially when your entire familiy's purpose has been to serve the royal family, and you are the first one to lose that

Also, I feel like something else we need to talk about is how his fight only ever really seems to be with the brothers, especially Lucifer? Again, part of the reason is the entire Diavolo situation, sure, but I feel like it also has to do with the situation in the Devildom at large? I already vaguely talked about this in a different context a few months back, but ever since the brothers have been cast out of the Celestial Realm and arrived in the Devildom, the entire situation has just been super unstable. We as a player have a unique perspective on the events because we only have a limited outsider view to on the actual politics going on the the Devildom, while also being aware how things will play out in the future. We know that ultimately letting the brothers stay is the right choice, but that's not the way a regular denizen who has to live through all this sees it. I mean, just the way Mephisto describes the brothers really puts things into perspective:

The entire realm is super destabilized, they just semi-lost their current king, and there have been multiple very real threats of war—first when the Devildom took the brothers in in the first place, then when "Raphael" showed up and told the brothers to return, and Lucifer rightfully points out to (a comatose) MC that they are bound to go to war should the Celestial Realm ever find out that Diavolo turned Lilith into a human. There's just a lot of tension in the air, and the brothers—extremly powerful as both angels and demons—seem to be at the root of most of it in one way or another. From a the House of Lords' perspective, it makes sense to want the brothers gone, same goes for a denizens perspective. And while it is a delicate situation all around that can't just be blamed on the brothers, it makes sense for Mephisto to also see them at the center of it all. Again, that doesn't make the brothers' treatment right, but it's at least understandable given the circumstances

On a side note, when discussing his beliefs, I think it's also important to remember that he to this day is incredibly sheltered. He just accepts all this as normal because to him it is normal, but as we've seen in lesson 31 hard mode Thirteen was so shocked by his views that she immediately decided to drop everything and play therapist for him (absolute Queen for not just blaming it on him btw 💖). I know this was just a throw-away line, but this paired with him basically excisting to serve Diavolo already says so much about his character:

And with everyone else he seems to be generally pleasent? I mean, he says he doesn't want anything to do with angels or humans, and yet he risks getting injured in order to save Luke from falling. Yet he actively seeks out MC to solve one of the 666 Mysteries of RAD together with them, and saves them from tumbling on the floor because "anyone else would have done the same" (they wouldn't have. The season 1 brothers would have laughed straight in MC's face). He literally complained to Thirteen about how he was just about to go home and how he doesn't have time for her, yet diligently carries all her things for her as rain is pouring down on him. His actions always end up betraying his words

Also he has a massive sweet tooth which alings perfectly with one of the headcanons I had for months and is RAD's local horse girl so we stan! <3

-> more character & relationship analyses -> masterlist

[unholywriter]

Perhaps some Percy make-up sex???

PART ONE

Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III Fem x Reader

Warnings: Smut.

“Let me worship you.”

He’s gone a day without speaking to you, hiding away in his workshop and ignoring your attempts to try and talk it out. But truth be told, this wasn’t a big issues as a whole. He just doesn’t know how to handle the fact his childhood friend and childhood lover hooked up. Once. It was during his absence, during the time you thought he was dead. Maybe one issue was that your chastity was taken away, the one thing that he wanted to share breaking with you back then later on if you decided to marry and become a lady of Whitestone. But everything was now a huge jumble. He coming back, you reconnecting after the Briarwood’s were killed finally, and how he was in a new group that didn’t allow him to come home too often.

That love you two share though, never faded. And after Archibald and you had that one night stand - you regretted every time it crossed your mind. Hence why you wanted to come clean, and hence why he was now so upset. He knew you weren’t a virgin the times he was with you, but Archie?? A sigh left his lips as he tossed a gear to the side, and leaned back looking to the ceiling. His glasses that slid down his nose slid back up into place, and he closed his eyes fiddling with his tool in his hand.

He was dead to you. He knew you thought that he had met his end. So why was he so upset? And it was so petty, and so stupid to not talk it out with you. He scrunched his eyebrows in a tinge of annoyance at himself. He wasn’t even mad at you, or Archie. One more twirl around his fingers and he stopped sitting up straight, standing up and finally heading out of his workshop.

He knew he has a lot of apologizing to do, but, the fact he could even think to apologize for his wrong doing’s and acting like a child, was a healthy step to continue this relationship he cherished so dearly. For gods sake if you weren’t with him down in the Ziggurat - no one would have been able to save him from Orthax. From himself.

It was early morning, the sun didn’t peak the horizon though, so the darkness still crept into your two’s shared living chamber. You didn’t hear him come in because you were passed out on the bed, with still a mess of wet tears dampening your face. The sight made his heart-ache knowing those tears were because he made you feel the need to cry. Oh was he in for one hell of an EPIC apology now. Even though the amount of times he would apologize from now on, knowing you wept in any way because of him - especially him being an asshole out of pure spite? He’d never feel like he’d make it up too you, ever.

Slowly he made his way from the bottom of your bed to you, placing his soft lips on the bareness of what skin he could find. Gradually he pressed deeper until he noticed you began to stir, and yet still not wake. From your forearm, to you shoulder. Then your neck as he pushed some locks away. His hands glided from your hip to your silky soft skin at your side, deepening his suckling at your neck to test the waters.

That’s when you began to wake, a soft moan escaping your lips. A few blinks to clear your vision and you turned to see a very shy looking Percy pressing his lips too your skin with a halt at your shoulder. His eyes looked like puppy dogs orbs all glistened and full of love and apology. For a moment you forgot about the day, and yet it came back just as quick.

“Did you come to finally say sorry Percival?” Your furrowed your eyebrows, and you could swear more tears threatened your eyes. You don’t want to fight, or leave things unsaid. Or ignore a problem when one arises. You weren’t mad, just hurt that he chose to ignore you and not talk to you for the whole day.

“For being a complete utter shit? Yes. I want to apologize to you.” His eyebrows pulled together even further, but he moved to hover over you now. Taking his index finger, and gliding it under your eyes to wipe some tears away. “Give me the biggest thump on my head for making you ever shed any tears from here and now on.”

You reached for his hand now, taking his fingers too your lips. Closing your eyes you let a soft smile become displayed delicately. “It’s okay. I understand my love. I just don’t want you ever to ignore me or anything else that puts tension between us ever again okay?”

Peering back into his vibrant emerald, mesmerizing eyes tears fell from them as they overfilled, gliding down his cheek. “Never again.” He smiled, leaning in closer and pressing your foreheads together. “I’m sorry, so fucking sorry.”

“You’re forgiven my sweet Percival, but you know what would make it up to me?” Your gaze held strong, and he held it back just as firm. His smile tugged further, but he didn’t reply. So with that, you just continued. “You could make it up by-“

“Telling you how much I love you. Showing, how much I love you.” He leaned a little back so he can get a good glance of you as he spoke. From your eyes, too your nose. Too the little freckles that may or may not littler your face. Just the small, beautiful details he took in. And gods he thought you were the most gorgeous creature he’s ever set eyes on. And never, even after has he seen any other in the light he sees you in. “Let me worship you.” He whispered as he moved some more of your hair to the side of your face. “Let me make you feel like the most elegant being to walk this realm, to walk any plain of existence.”

“Only if you let me worship you back de Rolo.” A titter lift your mouth and a chuckle came from his. The bashfulness you felt as your cheeks heated up, it made your heartbeat quicken.

“That can be arranged.” And just like that as his grin widened, a crash of soft skin colliding with a kiss connecting you two lovers ignited. Rougher, heavily it became just as quick as it started. He pressed you further into the bed, and your hands found the locks of his hair, tugging with your fingers gently. A soft moan left his mouth giving you an opportunity of attack. Your tongue entangled with his, hips grinding against another.

Feeling him made you want him even more, and there was an unbearable annoyance below that wasn’t getting properly taken care off. His hands found the sides of your body, slowly feeling the silk of your nightgown. That wasn’t what he wanted, he wanted to feel you skin to skin. So with that, he began to help pull that nightgown off swiftly, your bodies pulling up so you moved to straddle his lap. Hands feverishly beginning to unbutton his dress shirt as the synchronization rhythm of both your hips rocked. Panting, soft mewls could be heard through the large chamber you share. You were only left in your underwear, minus a bra which gave Percy full access. He groaned against your skin as he suckled upon your highly sensitive buds. Clenching from the tension, your rhythm became ruthless. You wanted him to give you the proper attentiveness. His fingers, his tongue would definitely suffice. Oh how he knew it.

“On your knees for me darling.” A whisper slithered delicately in your ear. And without fail you did as you were told. His hand clung to your chin so your eyes met and didn’t leave a gaze. His other hand slipped inside your panties, feeling the slick mess you’ve already made. A furrow of his eyebrows, and a low moan left his throat. “So drenched, did I do that?”

Your hands went to the hem of his pants and you pulled him even closer to crash your lips to his. He didn’t bother to tell you with words that was a naughty move, it was his fingers that spoke to you. And you heard every word as his two fingers slid in and out so obnoxiously slow, you pulled back to nip at his neck, preparing for the agonizingly ruthless assault. A pace that gradually quickened began, his hand now tangling into your hair as he felt your vibrations of your moans at his neck. Your hands began to undo his pants giving you proper access to his pulsing cock begging for the same attention your pussy was now feeling. Springing it free, the heat met your hands as it wrapped around it sliding slowly down the shaft. In your ears, the soft moans Percy suppressed made you tip over the edge. You left his cock though for only a second to get the proper lubricant. Sucking your fingers you left saliva that pulled from your tongue until the spit string snapped to meet your fingers around his dick once more. Pumping, you worked the same pace. Teasing, following where he was chasing your high.

Now your lips crashed back again, tongues entangled in a desperate fight for fitful domination. Mutually getting each other off, and you felt the coil building up it’s tensions right before it snap. But, before you could get there he pulled away causing you to whimper.

“Percy...” You whined, looking back into his, lust filled hypnotizing eyes.

“Don’t worry my love.” And with a swift push you were back on your back and he on top of you, the biggest sinful smirk tugged across his face, “I’ll fuck you senseless in a second.”

“Heh, I’ll hold you to that.” You mirrored his expression ten fold and he dipped his lips into your neck while running his hand down your right thigh that left as soon as it came. “Maybe I’ll take back my forgiveness if you-“ You squeaked as he pushed inside you, slowly adjusting himself.

“Manners.” He darkly whispered playfully, a deep thrust soon following. An unsuppressed whine left your lips and he continued a rhythmic pace. Your arms moved from his hair, down from his shoulder to his back. Your lips dancing, your mewls being spewed bouncing around the room. The bed only adding too the unholiness being spout. That coil that built up began fighting, ready to snap any second with the ruthless buildup. Welding in your eyes, tears threatened. He was so very good - by gods was he so close too unloading inside you. But with the sheen of sweat, and the inevitable high he was gonna have you reach so close, he wanted nothing then to watch you unravel.

Unravel you did as he put your legs over his shoulder to deepen, and feel you clench around his cock begging in a way to milk him dry. But he held strong because this wasn’t the end for tonight. You came down slowly, he kissing you softly at your forehead, down your cheek too your jawline. He gathered himself, entangling his fingers in your hair. “You did so well darling, do you want me to make you cum again?” His voice was quietly sweet, like the most sweetest candies in the world labeled De Rolo of course. Because he was sure in fact one of a kind.

“Yes my love.” You replied back, your sweaty foreheads pressed against one another. A grin tugged across both your faces. Hearts veering to a normal pace. “But now let me take care of you.”

[lovelyrotter]

okay but i actually kinda wanna know ur take on stridercest being canon compliant O_O <- autism stare

oh hey i am also hitting you with the autism stare. ill try to get my thoughts down in a way that makes sense to more than just me hahaha

bear in mind that im an epilogue lover and i think Meat/Candy are really valuable pieces that further all of the characters and are also hard canon in the sense that we're looking at just 2 post-game universe outcomes out of an uncountable number (the book in the picnic basket representing post-canon fanfic). i think the characters actions in the epilogues make sense and are satisfying to me. yes even jane (i love alpha jane and i will not do her the disservice of 'cleaning her up' w/o showing her work for it. thats not how you depict a character who grew up with fascist programming). i could totally go on a whole tangent about this specifically but thats another post lol we'd be here forever and its also not stridercest

but okay. canon stridercest. under the cut cause it got kinda long

basically it has to do with the cherubs and how their relationships and mating rituals are pretty obviously incestuous leaning even though cherubs dont have the human concept of Siblings or blood family. the cherub who predominates will search across paradox space to mate with another cherub who closely resembles the cherub they predominated which is like textbook Freudian sexuality. theres a lot of Freud and Jungian stuff in HS imo even if im kinda [wobbly hand gesture] at the validity of these theories applied to real life and real people. but theyre super fun tools and lenses to use in fiction and i mean. gestures at all of dave

so the incest aliens cherubs. the whole reason why im talkin about them is bc Caliborn is so incredibly interested and invested in the Striders in particular. caliborn as both Lord English and Lil Cal shapes earth NOT OVERTLY but more so embeds himself in earth society, but again, the Striders lives in particular. dave is full of incest jokes. hes even apparently got a list of his friends arranged in order of how likely theyd incest-elope with each other (thank you epilogues for this amazing factoid). he seems to think about it often enough to, yknow, Do That. have a good solid think about that and construct an organized list about it. bearing in mind dave makes jokes about stuff thats a) bothering him, or b) generally camping out in his brain. hes not even really aware of it most of the time (as we see in one of the openbounds where hes all 'why am i thinking about puppets???' after seeing dirk for the first time in that dream bubble. he is thinking nonstop about dirk at that point and going off his only frame of reference for ANY dirk, which is his bro. his bro who was most likely deeply warped by Lil Cal)

sorry for the long blocky paragraph lol. but now onto the next thing

Caliborn as Lil Cal is the centerpiece in the beta strider apartment. dave cant escape him and beta dirk grew up with him. what the fuck do you do when youre childhood comfort item is also the most evil creature across all of paradox space? if youre a dirk you try to fight it. but how long can you keep fighting something like that. its safe to say that bro was affected by Caliborns particular brand of perversion and sfw kink. i dont think i have to say how insidious abusive and toxic he is about those things. and looking at the truth of beta bro (16yo alpha dirk) you can start to see just how warped beta bro became. beta bro is a false dirk (still a very Real dirk but not the Truth of dirk. beta bro has been toxified and made infinitely worse by an absolute evil influence over decades of life. in 80s fuckin texas. presumably in the system. anyone would be fucked up after that)

so for this analysis/theory im stating beta bro as a false persona. using jungian terms he is apha dirk's shadow

both dave and dirk live with a fake, carefully manicured version of their bros. they live with personas (or shadows of their guardians on the walls. hello platos allegory of the cave). they dont actually know e/o and they dont until the striunion

alpha dirk especially grows up embedded in the Public Persona Of Dave Strider 400 years post mortem and completely alone with unlimited internet access. hes a self admitted expert on his bro and we dont get to see a lot if any of his early childhood but i can hazard a guess at how much he clung to that persona of his bro. he fuckin idolizes dave. he LOVES dave. right off the bat he is in some kind of love with dave and i think if you try to argue against that then thats you slippin. i think youre a fool and have to reread homestuck because i wholeheartedly believe the striders loving eachother is part of the win state

once again this is speculation cause we get barely anything about alpha dave, but from what we already know about him im guessing this bro-persona is

achingly effortlessly cool

oozing masculinity (toxic or not, not really interested in categorizing that although toxic coolboy masculinity IS something the striders contend with & is an important facet in their lives)

a skilled fighter

a dedicated moviegoer (hes a director need i say more. this one is probably the only genuine thing about his on-screen persona)

and now lets look at jake. someone whos grown up on pretty much nothing but movies, whos doubtlessly been influenced by hollywood and its idea of gritty 'main character' masculinity through that, and who also clings to more old-school ideas of manliness (think victorian/edwardian era gentlemanly-but-loves-a-good-scrum kinda manly. moustache twirly with a monocle kinda manly. basically everything that grandpa harley is)

but okay lets look at what jake wants to be. lets take a look at his teenager persona

achingly effortlessly cool (his own 'hollywood star' kind of cool also def influenced by his favourite characters like lara croft who is indeed achingly cool. you see him succeed in inhabiting this hollywood star persona on earth c)

oozing masculinity (the old school manly mans-man kind)

a skilled fighter (two pistoles always. harder to aim cause you cant use a free hand to make up for kickback. that takes skill)

a dedicated moviegoer (again one of the only genuine parts about his persona. his questionable-to-wretched tastes aside. but bearing in mind that the SBaHJ movies are intentionally bad which is what makes them loop around to good. such is the nature of intentionally 'bad' art. jake fuckin lives in this perpetual bad-good art loop. okay enough with the art tangent keep focused man cmon)

because dirk has obviously way more contact with jake i dont doubt he sees through jakes own (admittedly way more flimsy) coolboy persona but the point still stands i think. different flavours but the same kinda guy. dirk has a type and i dont think its a stretch to say that hes looking for aspects of the bro-persona he grew up looking at in other boys, much like the winning cherub looking for the one they lost in the cherub theyll mate with

also wtf is with dirks obvious boner for dave chasing him across paradox space to decapitate him huh?? the last few sentences in Meat are about that very thing. he wants to fuc fight dave sooo bad. haha remember how the cherubic mating ritual is one of the most violent and long running spectacles in paradox space? i sure do

[ivqnx]

Call of Duty Black Ops 6/CW OC:

Heather McEthan

[photo redacted]

____________________

BASIC INFO

Name: Heather McEthan

Alias(es): [redacted]

Gender: Female

Date of Birth: 16th of May 19**

Place of Birth: [redacted], California, United States of America

Nationality: American

Spoken language(s): English, Deutsch

Occupation: -

____________________

APPEARANCE

Eye color: Teal blue

Hair color: Light brown

Height: 1.65 m (5'5")

Weight: 53.8 kg (will change later)

Blood type: [redacted]

Faceclaim: Marilyn Monroe, Hedy Lamarr

____________________

FAMILY

Father: Frederick Antonsen McEthan

Mother:

Sibling(s):

Brother #1:

Brother #2:

____________________

PERSONALITY

Though Heather looked up to her father and Adler, she was a firecracker all her own. Outgoing, adventurous, and wildly curious, she often found herself in trouble for tinkering with electronics around the house. Whether it was attempting to rewire the TV remote (and accidentally breaking it) or experimenting with other gadgets, her mischievous nature kept her parents on their toes. Her father, though exasperated at times, seemed to accept that Heather was "maybe just a bit too naughty" for her own good. With her Resting Blame Face (RBF), which mirrored her father’s, and a sharp, sarcastic wit, she had a bold personality that was hard to miss.

While her mother’s elegance showed in her mannerisms, it was her father’s fighting skills that she inherited. From a young age, Heather began kickboxing under her father's guidance, becoming skilled and confident in self-defense. The thrill of learning combat techniques further fueled her ambition to follow in her father’s footsteps.

Like(s): [redacted]

Hate(s):[redacted]

Behaviour as a Child:

She's naughty like Shin-Chan (her father just accepted the fact that she was maybe, a bit too naughty).

DID SHE CHANGE AFTER BEING AN ADULT?

As Heather McEthan transitioned into adulthood, her personality evolved in response to the challenges and experiences she faced, both personal and professional.

More Focused and Disciplined: While Heather maintained her curiosity and adventurous nature, she learned to channel it into her work. As a CIA operative and technology expert, she became far more focused and disciplined. Her once playful experimentation with gadgets turned into a razor-sharp proficiency with technology and espionage tools. She learned the value of precision and responsibility, especially when the stakes were high.

Reserved, But Still Sarcastic: Growing up with a sarcastic streak, Heather refined her sharp tongue in adulthood, learning when to use it and when to stay quiet. While she could still deliver biting comments with Adler-like snark, her years in intelligence taught her how to mask her emotions when necessary. Her RBF (Resting Blame Face) became a powerful asset, allowing her to maintain an impenetrable poker face in high-stress situations.

Confident, But Guarded: While Heather always had confidence, adulthood brought a sense of caution and reservation. She became more guarded, not just with her emotions but with the people she trusted. Her work in the CIA exposed her to deception and betrayal, causing her to develop a more calculated approach to relationships. She would rely heavily on her instincts and trust only a select few, including her childhood friend and Uncle Adler.

A Strong Leader, Yet Still a Team Player: Heather grew into a natural leader, especially within the CIA’s tech division, where her genius in electronics and military tech put her ahead of her peers. However, she never lost her sense of loyalty to her team. She knew that success in the field often depended on collaboration, and she maintained close bonds with those she worked with, especially those she trusted.

Stoic, But Empathetic: Heather's adventurous spirit in childhood was tempered by the harsh realities of the world. She became more stoic and toughened as an adult, able to handle danger and trauma with resilience. But beneath her calm exterior, she still held onto a deep sense of empathy, especially for those close to her. She felt a strong desire to protect her loved ones and the innocent, driven by the ideals she had as a child to become a hero.

Mission-Oriented, but Still Adventurous: Heather's love for exploration never completely faded, but as an adult, she approached adventure with more caution. She thrived on the adrenaline of fieldwork and missions, but she did so with a clear focus on her objectives. No longer reckless, she became tactical and sharp, knowing when to take risks and when to fall back.

Protective and Loyal: The mischievous, carefree child grew into a fiercely protective woman. Her loyalty to her team, her family, and her close friends like Adler and her childhood friend was unshakable. Heather was willing to sacrifice her own safety to protect those she cared for and those under her charge.

In summary, as an adult, Heather McEthan retained much of her childhood essence—her curiosity, confidence, and sense of adventure—but these traits were shaped by the seriousness of her profession and the weight of the responsibilities she carried as a CIA agent and tech expert. She became more refined, calculating, and stoic, but her loyalty, sarcasm, and love for exploration remained key elements of who she was.

Habit(s): [redacted]

Hobby(s):

1. Tinkering with Technology and Gadgets: Heather's childhood love for experimenting with electronics would naturally evolve into a deeper passion for working with cutting-edge tech. In her free time, she might enjoy building, dismantling, and modifying gadgets—whether it's hacking old computers, upgrading surveillance equipment, or creating her own high-tech tools for personal use. This keeps her skills sharp and satisfies her curiosity.

2. Outdoor Adventures: With her love of exploration and thrill-seeking, Heather might take up hobbies like hiking, rock climbing, or even urban exploration. These activities allow her to maintain her physical fitness while satisfying her desire to explore the world around her, especially when she's not on a mission. It gives her the same rush she enjoyed as a kid wandering her hometown but with more intensity.

3. Games and Puzzles: Heather’s love for espionage could manifest in her downtime as well. She might enjoy solving complex puzzles, engaging in escape room-style games, or playing chess, which would allow her to challenge her strategic thinking. These mental exercises would align with her fieldwork, helping her hone her ability to think on her feet.

5. Reading Military and Espionage History: Heather's interest in military history and espionage would likely carry over into her hobbies. She might enjoy reading biographies of famous operatives, studying historical military tactics, or researching advancements in technology that could impact her work in the CIA.

____________________

BIOGRAPHY

Heather McEthan grew up in a tightly knit, exciting family in Langley, Virginia, just a stone's throw away from CIA Headquarters. The youngest of three, Heather was the daughter of a former MACVSOG operative, and a medic volunteer during the Vietnam War, both of whom influenced her greatly. Her father's role in the CIA and his friendships with legendary operatives like Russell Adler and Lawrence Sims made Heather's childhood both thrilling and unconventional. With Adler as her neighbor and close "uncle," Heather spent countless afternoons listening to thrilling stories of her father and uncles' escapades in Vietnam, sparking a deep-rooted fascination with espionage and military life.

Exploring her hometown with her closest childhood friend often got her into even more trouble, but it only heightened her love for adventure. Unafraid to push boundaries, Heather sought to learn everything she could—especially about technology, wiring, and the inner workings of gadgets. Her dream was to merge her love of tech with her admiration for her father and Adler, becoming not just a CIA agent, but one with a sharp edge in technological warfare.

Heather's ambitions were lofty, but with her passion for experimentation and an unyielding spirit, she had her sights set on being a hero in her own right—whether as a soldier, a CIA agent, or a tech genius. Her childhood, filled with exploration, lessons, and mischief, was the perfect foundation for the incredible life she was destined to lead.

CHILDHOOD PHOTO(S):

[redacted]

____________________

AFFILIATIONS

Central Intelligence Agency:

Special Clandestine Officer Russell Adler Special Agent Jason Hudson Special Operative (Master Sergeant) Frank Woods Special Operative (Captain) Alex Mason Lawrence Sims Sevati Dumas Felix Neumann Troy Marshall CIA Handler Jane Harrow "CHASE"

Aleksandra Clarke R. (© Alypink)

MI6:

Helen Park

____________________

[caustinen]

I'd love a follow up on the security scare Hollywood!AU Clegan experienced....Does Bucky cancel all press and social media activity? Hire a military level security team? Want to move to the country? I can imagine he'd go in to overprotective mode.....

And does Gale recover ok? Is he left with any trauma/fear? :(

thank you for this ask anon!! i love protective tropes <3 (continuation to this drabble)

to start off with, i think it would definitely make bucky step back from the media for a while. he’d go completely silent on insta for a few weeks and while he’s contractually bound to do some press for his upcoming movie, it’s clear he’s much more serious and avoids talking about his relationship (partly because he does not want to comment on the incident at all, just put it all behind them) and compared to his usual endeavor this is very noticeable, making the journalists also careful not to ask him about it reflexivly.

as for extra security, i think he’d go a bit overboard and unhinged with it before gale forces him to take it back a notch. gale is shaken up after it but gets over it much more quickly, reasoning they both got through it completely fine, and he just wants to go on business-as-usual to the extent that it’s possible; he doesn’t wanna live in constant fear because of one bad experience after he works through the first shock (i mentioned gale also having a tough childhood in this au somewhere and i could maybe even write something about him only realizing some emotional locks and seeking therapy year into his relationship with bucky, so he would maybe have some mental tools for dealing with trauma already!). the first he notices some fridge/military level bulky dudes following them everywhere they go he actually has some flashbacks to the attack, just about to get anxious, before he realizes these must be guards hired by bucky. they have a small fight about it and eventually bucky begrudgingly agrees to let some of them go, but for his side of the compromise both he and gale take a self-defense class, and gale has to allow him to take him away for a bit for some pampering. gale rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically as bucky packs their bags with a driven attention but he doesn’t hide how much he likes to have a moment of peace with his fiancé in the midst of the media circus when bucky takes him to wisconsin for the weekend and barely lets him out the bed, bringing him breakfast on a tray and kissing all of his sweet spots over and over to make sure he’s really okay.

slowly bucky gets over the scare and loosens up to the extent he starts posting and raving about gale on his social medias again, but he’s more careful with drawing boundaries with fan encounters and pays special attention with talking honestly about his life and doing his best to disillusion the image of himself as anything other than a normal guy trying to have a relatively normal life. the extra security stays on their payroll but it becomes more background operations than surrounding them in all public places. for gale this was a first properly bad experience with “fame” but surprisingly it doesn’t affect him as much as one would expect since he was struggling with just the media attention anyway, and the attack doesn’t seem too far removed from that in the end since nothing bad actually happened and he’s just getting used to having his privacy challenged anyway. he worried for bucky tho, but in a weird way it also brings them closer together as he starts to realize these new symptoms of fame that bucky has been dealing with on his side for years already. all in all, he’s a bit jumpy and untrusting with crowds for some time after, but once his main goal becomes soothing john he quite quickly gets almost back to his normal self <3

hope this was to your liking, sorry it took so long!! i would love to write some protective/worried moments more in detail

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

Writing in tags got a ball rolling and I'm thinking more and more about full ghost/bitter babysitter Vlad

Thinking about how Jazz and Danny grew up with ghost hunters as parents and a ghost as an uncle, the types of wrenches it throws into the family's relationships with each other...

Starting with the parents' perspective,

It's easy in the beginning to dismiss the paradoxical nature of ghost hunters having a ghost live with them, The Ghostbusters had Slimer, Fentonworks has V-Man. At the start, their tiny children can see and understand the difference between their friendly uncle Vlad (who at the start, looked like a pathetic wet kitten) and a 'real' dangerous ghost.

It's less easy when you and your old friend wind up in an arms race driven and perpetuated by both rational and irrational fear.

At the start when he looked human and his grudge was apparent but it was shown when he was passive-aggressively doing chores around the house and getting the kids ready for school, it was funny, guilt-trippy, sure, but also helpful. Now that the kids are teenagers and can do their own share of the chores and get themselves ready for school that grudge needs other ways to manifest and he can't break inventions and loom ominously on their bedroom ceiling forever.

"We're not *just* ghost hunters, there's more to our studies than dissection and having Vladdie around makes those other studies easier."

With time, turns into...

"Well, how would we know if our anti ghost forcefields and other ghost proofing gadgets work or not if we didn't have a ghost to test them on?"

With more time, turns into...

"This is the Fenton Ecto-Vaporizer, it turns every ghost caught in its rays into nothing but steam! Well, every ghost except the pesky patient because it grew immune to Blood Blossoms and effect amplifying serums 🙄"

And for the most part 'the ghost haunting our home for decades is immune to our shock collar and we need to make something stronger or he'll rip our spines out of our bodies and wear our skins like coats' is said in jest,

at the end of the day,

during those nights that SHOULD be silent but their guilty consciences make the whispers at the end of the bed recounting the day they not only killed, but dumped their best friend like garbage and fled the state that much louder as the bright red eyes of the vengeful spirit become their unwelcome night light...

They have to ask themselves will he kill them before or after the kids go to college?

From the kids' perspective... where do I even start?

Okay, good news is that they had a good tradeoff with a better childhood, I mean for starters their Christmases were a lot less nasty with Uncle Vlad and I strongly suspect that Little Danny's favorite Christmas story of all time was 'A Christmas Carol' as he'd love the christmas ghosts thanks to knowing his own 'christmas ghosts'.

And both kids grow up knowing that ghosts CAN be good people, they see their uncle lose his outer humanity over the years while they grow up and come to understand that just because a ghost can *look* mean and scary doesn't mean that they *are* mean.

Danny would likely have more 'tools' in his belt other than fighting. Sure, fighting's on the table if need be, but when it comes to different ghosts and their different issues, he'd likely stop and ask himself "Is this ghost who's screaming about a dance in need of a butt-kicking, or is she in need of some help?"

but as teenagers who can see that their family situation is NOT normal...

Jazz knows that there's more to Vlad's tragic story than 'I was really sick and your parents didn't visit me in the hospital :C'. She also knows he's not telling her.

Granted, nobody's really comfortable telling the girl one raised to adulthood that their parents murdered and abandoned them without a second thought,

But the whimsy and charm of 'oh look my uncle's a ghost' is lost when 1. you're not a kid anymore. and 2. getting him to be emotionally honest and upfront with you about his past is like pulling teeth.

Does Danny go to any of the adults when the accident happens? CAN he go to any of the adults when the accident happens?

It's established how he hates the idea of his parents getting a divorce, of losing his family, and at this point in time despite their attempts to hide it in front of him and Jazz, he can pick up that Vlad is not happy with or around his parents who in turn appear more and more uncomfortable with their old friend.

He knows that his mom and dad can put up with ghosts if they absolutely need to, but how will they take knowing that HE'S a ghost?

And how will Uncle Vlad himself take it?

He can trust him to teach him everything he knows about being a ghost, but at the same time, he's grown up watching Vlad destroy any and all inventions his parents make that seem too dangerous to them, so what would he do to his parents if he knew that 'their negligence killed him'?

[bitterrobin]

IN FACT pushing past the incredibly boring idea that "Damian and Chris should be friends bc they both have evil parents" (which only exists bc I refuse to believe anyone's actually read Last Son and his Nightwing arc or anything w Talia pre-Morrison) - I instead believe Damian and Chris could have a much more interesting relationship if you build it around a couple things:

being a publicly known figurehead in situations that doesn't allow you privacy even within a closed community

becoming your own individual outside of your family and learning to explore the world/expand your horizons without any prior expectations

the contrast in childhoods/relationship w parents vs how similar their struggles are

To my knowledge, the idea of all the al Ghuls being worshipped within the League religiously hasn't been explored (if only to make Ras eviler bc scary cult things). In the Taxonomy-verse, a lot of Damian's au character is built upon him being regarded as a religious figure related to Ras (the League's god/Mother Earth's messiah). He's a piece of god, a piece of the Demon. He isn't his own individual to the worshippers and assassins. Everyone is a shared conglomerate, and Damian can't be any different. With Chris, he's publicly known in Metropolis as the alien boy who saved the city from Phantom Zone invaders and the god vessel of Night-wing to other Kryptonians (mostly Kandor). Damian is also known as the son of Batman and the son of Bruce Wayne/Talia al Ghul, and Chris is known as a Kryptonian under Superman's protection and Clark Kent/Lois Lane's son. Neither is allowed individual identities outside of their families. They are worshipped as something other, not human, not mortal. Their stories are fundamentally about striving for independence and identity when the world decides it for them. Damian fights bloody to define himself within the Bat-structure, while Chris always seems to give up his own happiness and individuality in service of other people. Somehow always ending up in the Phantom Zone no matter what. Damian will always keep fighting and Chris will always sacrifice himself - but they'll never be who they want to be. They can't endure being gods. They can't enjoy being children.

They can be very similar when explored this way, but where they differ is their childhoods. Chris was raised by textbook abusive parents. Zod and Ursa never cared for him beyond what use he had as a portal to Earth. He was kept imprisoned, experimented on, treated as a tool and soldier and not a child. The only person who showed him kindness was Non, but Non lacked the ability to help Chris is any way besides silent comfort after the abuse had already occurred. Damian was not abused physically, but psychologically. He was manipulated with expectations, religious zeal, cult tactics of bombardment and the constant shifting of training goals. His father cared little for him and only began to start parenting him after Bruce came back from the "dead." His mother cared almost too much, she wasn't able to do anything to help him other than just removing him from the life he used to know. Chris knows what it's like to live in fear of those who should protect you, and Damian knows what it's like to live believing you are the best and then having that image utterly shattered. Damian wouldn't know what its like for a father to be ready to kill you with his bare hands, super strengthened fingers around your skull and an iron fist around your arm. He doesn't know of a mother who drives blades of radioactive poison through flesh, a mother who calls you a pathetic whelp and beats you until you lie covered in your own blood. Chris wouldn't know a father who tries his best but doesn't see you a person until it's too late, a father who'll always choose something (justice, the city, his other sons) over you. He wouldn't know of a mother who had no choice but to abandon you, a mother whose life you know would be improved if you'd just never existed.

But maybe they find each other. Maybe even when Damian resents Chris's ability to be unconditionally loved and Chris balks at Damian's need to prove himself even through death. Maybe they'll talk about things they can't have (a home, a purpose), maybe they try to be kids for once, maybe they try to escape the shadows of their parents but go down different paths. Damian will not be Batman, Chris will not be Superman. But they hold heroes in their hearts. They look at each other and go "maybe this time, we can be ourselves. no judgement. no world ending."

[mytchthemyth]

Monkie Kid Thoughts Pt. 2

OK, I just realized I didn't fully explain why I think Nuwa would've wanted to keep Wukong in the dark about MK, so I'm typing this up. Part 1 here.

Wukong would definitely be pissed about some poor kid being specifically created as a tool/pawn for a god, even if that god has good intentions. I don't know if he'd care about his birth stone being used, but he'd definitely be even more pissed finding out the kid is also meant to have his exact powers and to master them all at a pretty young age (especially when factoring in how long it took Wukong himself to learn and master all of his powers)

As previously stated, I just don't think Wukong would've actually been a good father figure. Whether it be due to him not knowing how to care of a small child or him obsessively trying to preemptively take care of all the bad guys before MK ever has to, making him mostly absent for MK's childhood, or something else entirely. When MK meets Wukong in the show he had already been living alone on Flower Fruit Mountain for centuries. His adult people skills are horrible, there's no way he'd be more successful at taking care of a child. And MK potentially growing up to hate Wukong would be counterproductive for Nuwa, considering MK's fanboying over the Monkey King in the show made him very knowledgeable about Wukong's powers and very selective parts of his past. (Idolizing Monkey King also makes it easier for Wukong and MK to do training together, and it allows MK the chance to actually be a better, more heroic version of Wukong right off the bat.)

Like I said in the last post, giving Wukong to MK would probably end up alerting all of the villains that Nuwa made MK to fight prematurely. "What's that? Rumors are going around that Monkey King has a kid?! And that kid can also do everything Monkey King can despite being like, 12?!! Send all the henchmen immediately! Spy on Flower Fruit Mountain now!" It would just ruin everything and make MK being a secret weapon of sorts pointless.

Growing up on Flower Fruit Mountain would be a pretty lonely experience for MK. Sure, he has Wukong and the little monkeys, but he wouldn't get a chance to really experience culture or people. He wouldn't have a best friend like Mei, and he likely wouldn't grow up to care so much about helping people and being there for his loved ones. MK is able to step up and be a hero because of all his connections, and Wukong's lack of connections as resulted in him becoming less heroic over time. Even if Wukong successfully raised MK in secret, MK would probably just turn out as a miniature Wukong. The world barely survives with just one of him running around!

This isn't to say Nuwa never wanted MK and Wukong to meet. On the contrary, I think she probably wanted the two of them to develop the kind of relationship they have now. I just think she knew that there was a right time and place for the two of them to meet, and that was not right after MK was born. I think she was always planning on dropping him off with Pigsy, Sandy, or Tang, but things didn't go exactly as planned when there was outside interference. So instead of being able to slowly get a feel of his powers as he got older, MK couldn't access them at all and didn't realize he had any powers until he grabbed the golden staff.

I'm pretty sure MK has pretty much lived the life Nuwa wanted him to, but now his power is reaching new heights that he can't handle due to...whatever went wrong. And while he had a good childhood and has a great support network, MK was never prepared for all the shit he's gone through, and it's all becoming too much for him at this point. MK just wants to go back to his happy, simple life, but everything's changed too much for that. He's changed too much.

We've seen the mantra of "embrace your destiny" crop up a lot over the show, and it's always been by villains in a negative light, but I think it's something MK will genuinely have to do in order to become more "whole". He has to accept what he is, who he has become, and what is expected of him. He has to "embrace" his destiny first, and then he can rebel against it. He can decide his future for himself, but he's not going to be able to do that wholeheartedly unless he accepts himself first.