#not of their fight and not of their relationship but of WILL’S CHILDHOOD TOOLS FOR ESCAPISM

[counting-stars-gayly]

They’re not going to rebuild Castle Byers because Will can’t rebuild his childhood, which is the reason he destroyed Castle Byers in the first place. He’d been trying to hold on to a level of carefree ignorance that no longer existed for him. The problems Castle Byers saved him from have been replaced by new problems that are bigger and stronger than a child’s fort. He needs to face them differently. Thank you and goodnight

[convenientalias]

Why Nirvana in Fire Wins at Revenge Story with Identity Porn

Nirvana in Fire was my first ever cdrama that was a revenge story with identity porn. Since then, I've seen many other dramas along similar lines. A League of Nobleman. Blood of Youth. City of Streamer. Fighting for Love. Legend of Anle. Long Ballad. Princess Weiyoung. Rise of Phoenixes. Sword Dynasty. Weaving a Tale of Love. Word of Honor. Some of them are quite good but none of them really hit the same way. So, apart from the fact that it was the first one I ever watched, I thought I'd made a brief list of reasons why I think Nirvana in Fire is the best.

Lin Shu's Identity

I just appreciate that when shit went down and Lin Shu's whole family and army and many of his friends were killed and he became a man on the run, he was a full-grown man (okay, still pretty young, but definitely not a child) with his own life and even an army position.

A lot of these identity porn dramas will have their MCs meeting ppl for the first time in many years, in disguise, but they only knew these ppl when they were children. Childhood friends are great and all that, but can they hit as hard as the complicated, fleshed out relationships that Lin Shu had and lost? He had a friendship of many years with Jingyan. He had an engagement and a longstanding friendship with Nihuang. He has friends from the army, younger cousins playing the role of "we don't even understand what happened back then and maybe that's better", older friends and relations who he actually knew as an adult.

Simultaneously, his past identity increases the threat of discovery for Lin Shu. He's a known factor to many, many people in the capital. Yes, they think he's dead. But small things like a hazelnut allergy or his mannerisms or his previous friendships with people are still memorable enough that even with a completely different face, if he's not careful, he might give himself away. He's not infiltrating a group of strangers or people who only knew him as a kid. He's infiltrating a group of people who were close to him for many, many years of his life.

HOWEVER. Lin Shu's identity is not so important that everyone in the capital is still obsessed with him twelve years later (with some exceptions). This isn't Mysterious Lotus Casebook where we're all still pining for Li Xiangyi, because...

2. The Chiyan Case Wasn't Even About Lin Shu?? (Also, No One Cares About That Ancient History Anymore (Jingyan, Sit Down))

The Chiyan case wasn't about the Lin family at all, really.

No one specifically wanted Lin Shu dead or had a big grudge against his dad or anything. It's all about power, military and political. For some conspirators, it was just about getting a leg up in court. But mostly, it was about Prince Qi, the previous crown prince. The Lin family just happened to be friends with him and ended up in an uncomfortable (highly murderable and frameable) position.

Lin Shu may mourn his family, but for the majority of the show, he doesn't talk about it. He doesn't talk about his mother and his family back at the capital either committing suicide or being killed indiscriminately. He only mentions his father's name a handful of times in the whole show. Lin Shu's drive is that his father's ARMY was killed, tens of thousands of men. That's the weight on Lin Shu's shoulders: the death of all these innocent men because they were in the way. The Chiyan Case; the Chiyan Massacre. The denouement of Lin Shu's victory (not to give too many spoilers) is not just his father's name being cleared of a treason charge. It's when there's finally a memorial put up for the Chiyan Army, with memorial tablets that he can publicly visit to pay respects.

Why does this make it a better revenge story with identity porn? A couple reasons. First, Lin Shu is very much the center of the story and has very personal beef, but he treats himself like a tool and his objective isn't about himself or familial connections (they're part of it but they're not everything). He doesn't even know all the people he's avenging. That's fine; he'll still carry that weight. I just think it's neat.

Second, the fact that the Lin family (and the whole Chiyan Army) were really just collateral damage for getting rid of Prince Qi really emphasizes just how careless the current regime is of the value of human life.

Third, as Meng Zhi says when Lin Shu comes to the capital, everyone at court is busy with their own little power struggles and no one has time to care about Lin Shu or protect him. Lin Shu's like yeah that's fine :) I'm not anyone's focus anymore and the Lin family has been swept under the rug like we never existed :) and no one even talks about the Chiyan case anymore for fear of being accuse of treason :) that's all okay because I'm about TO MAKE THIS EVERYONE'S PROBLEM ANYWAY and honestly the fact that everyone's trying their hardest to forget will just make them more oblivious when I come to fuck them up.

3. All Of This is Whose Fault, Again?

That's right, folks, we're in a show that knows that when shit goes down at court and your family gets framed for treason and the emperor orders them executed, sure, you can blame the conspirators who framed them all you want, but also, YOU KIND OF DO HAVE TO BLAME THE EMPEROR.

People have said enough about how great this is on a thematic level of accountability but seriously I've seen so many shows dodge this. ~It's not the emperor's fault bc he was misled by these conspirators~ or ~the emperor is only a puppet emperor, if he actually had power instead of this evil person, he would put everything right.~ Or, if they dare to blame the emperor, maybe he's just an evil emperor and was bad all along. NIF says yeah, he was lied to on many levels. There was a whole complicated conspiracy going on and many people to blame. But he could have taken things slower. He could have required better evidence. He could have trusted people who had supported him for many years, at least enough to listen to their side of the story BEFORE KILLING THEM. And why didn't he? It's not because he's an idiot. It's because he's an emperor, and emperors don't like seeing other people gain enough power to even potentially become a threat. It's because he wasn't looking for the truth, he was looking for an excuse to kill. And he's not unusually evil for that; this kind of callousness towards murder and grasping for power at all costs is more the norm at court than any kind of honor or morality.

The Emperor's a nice guy sometimes! He used to fly kites with Lin Shu when he was young! His sons give him a headache, but honestly, relatable, they'd give you a headache too! He likes Consort Jing and honestly, who wouldn't! And he killed one of his sons, one of his closest friends, and an entire army, and he would do it again without hesitation. He's not especially evil. Being an emperor is bad enough.

4. Other Bad Guys

It's worth mentioning that Lin Shu's opponents are not stupid.

Xie Yu and Xia Jiang, Prince Yu and the Crown Prince, even the Empress and Noble Consort Yue: They aren't all geniuses, but they aren't idiots flailing around in spite. They're pretty smart, and if Lin Shu wants to take them down, he has to be smarter.

It's also worth mentioning that this is not one of those shows where the protagonist happens to take down his opponents mostly by standing still and just defending himself when they lash out at him. This seems like an obvious thing in a revenge drama, but the number of times I've seen the opposite, the protagonist swearing revenge and then just struggling with self preservation.... but no. Lin Shu has A Plan. He is going to be proactive and actually take his enemies down. Admittedly he will do this by revealing their past misdeeds but this isn't a case of "the misdeeds will just happen to pop up". This is a case of "I will actively unearth skeletons from where you threw them in a well in an abandoned manor".

TO SUM UP

Without going into the things that make Nirvana in Fire a great show in general (great acting, good pacing and plotting, good costuming, and so on and so forth) I think the main things that make it hit for me as a revenge story with identity porn are 1) letting the MC's past identity be that of a grown man who actually had a life (more connections to the past, but also more to lose and more danger in the present as a result), 2) the fact that the offense that the MC is avenging wasn't even like a personal thing to the offenders (bc! it's fucking infuriating!), 3) the fact that the drama is willing to face the root of the problem (the problem is both corruption at court and the fact that the highest arbiter is flawed, not just individual conspirators), 4) the supply of multiple good antagonists, and 5) LETTING THE MC ACTUALLY, ACTIVELY PURSUE REVENGE AND THAT'S THE MAIN PLOT AND WE AREN'T SPENDING MOST OF OUR SCREENTIME ON SIDEPLOTS AND ROMANCE OR MERE SELF PRESERVATION. These may not seem like large things but my friends, you would be surprised how many revenge dramas I've watched at this point that can't do them.

ok I'm done ranting. Feel like most of this is actually stating the obvious but I'm just in a mood and had to get it out. (...also possibly I've been let down by some revenge dramas lately but I won't get into it. it's okay. we can't all be Nirvana in Fire; only Nirvana in Fire can be Nirvana in Fire.)

[goldensunset]

there are several pokémon games now whose stories have absolutely microwaved my brain (positive). but black and white is really unique in that out of all of them, it feels the most like it had to have been a pokémon game. not even in the sense that it’s my absolute favorite but it’s probably the most creative when it comes to making a compelling plotline out of pokémon-specific game and story assets.

most games feature being a trainer, bonding with pokémon, learning about them and catching them, often times getting up to some insane stuff with the region’s legendaries, etc. pokémon are obviously always present- as characters, tools, or narrative devices- but the core conflict about the game is about something else. those staples of the series were only one possible means by which that sort of story could have been told. you could keep the core characters the same and change details like the method by which they fight each other and it’s the same thing.

in some games, these classic narrative/gameplay tools even sort of clash with and distract from the main conflict. battles that in any other story would be to the death are much like a fun little competition. that’s sort of just an innate thing to the game series’ turn based combat that is obviously based on pokémon, and most games are guilty of it. but there are ways to make it work in-universe, such as really emphasizing how any given pokémon is stronger than any given human and therefore whoever has even a single one of their soldiers left after the battle is holding a weapon against a defenseless target. in any case really it's generally up to the player to suspend their disbelief and allow themselves to get immersed in the aura of danger. but i would really love more games to make battles feel like a threat to the trainer as well… usually it's about trying to scare you off or maybe rob you, at most.

and my true pet peeve… in certain games, you awkwardly take turns between stopping the big bad and collecting gym badges and often even if there’s a story excuse for why you need to go get the badge or whatever, it’s kind of weak. you want to go after the evil team leader but first and foremost you want to become the champion and play with your cute little pets and these different desires rarely come up at the same time. the main antagonist might not even be the final boss; you’re expected to all but forget about them by the time you get to the pokémon league. the story is cool, yet not the point. ok yes this is me vagueing about dppt again listen platinum means the whole entire world to me but it hurt me to wrap up the cyrus plot at seven gym badges and get just a few lines of gratitude from cynthia for it later

but that aside. even in games where there’s no story-gameplay dissonance, where the story might be absolutely one hundred percent golden and the gameplay might be incredibly fun and work perfectly. you at the same time might be like 'wow, this is about pokémon? it didn’t even need to be.' (not to say that’s bad, obviously! people who are here to collect and play with cute creature friends deserve some insane banger plotlines too. the children yearn for existential angst and childhood trauma. i love unique storytelling devices and i hope these games have super cool utterly wild storylines that go way crazier than the child friendly marketing would indicate for the rest of the series.)

but like. black and white is so fascinating in that the core conflict is about being a trainer. it’s about the relationship between humans and pokémon. most games have a couple lines thrown in here and there about how anything is possible if you bond with your pokémon as equals, but this concept is central to black and white. team plasma are such good villains because they’re not another round of unhinged terrorists, they’re a sociopolitical advocacy group that legitimately challenges ways of life that most of the people of unova have never thought critically about. they ask the question of whether these norms and traditions are right and good. it’s like an attack on the whole entire series!

now obviously team plasma is like. wrong.., of course,,, both in terms of what they’re promoting and how they carry it out… but the fact that they make you think. the fact that they start a conversation. the fact that they hold assemblies in public and stand proud and don’t hide and even convince some people… that’s terrifying. their original plan was to rise to power not by force but by changing hearts. and through that they arguably got closer to winning than any other evil team.

and there is absolutely dissonance between the way they talk and the actual gameplay which requires you to pokémon battle them. but this dissonance is intentional. it's proving them to be a bunch of hypocrites who think that they alone know how to treat pokémon right and are therefore justified in training them. and it's meant to be obvious that behind the scenes (not even truly in secret, just like anywhere on any path outside of the big towns and cities) they are abusive bullies. but though the player can figure out what kind of people they really are right off the bat, most of unova might not. either news of the sorts of theft and threatening they do travels slowly, or certain people are being manipulated and swayed into believing it really was for the greater good. truly team plasma has a level of power that no other evil team has ever had.

then there's n.... n knows it feels wrong and hypocritical but he doesn't know any other way. or perhaps he also justifies it to himself by saying it's fine as long as he lets them go afterwards (which is, ironically, arguably even more like using them as tools for an intended purpose than properly being their trainer.) but after chargestone cave he commits to what he believes in and swears he won't battle again other than in the few cases it's absolutely necessary for his goal.

and of course. the way he's also trying to become the champion, the way interrupts your journey through the pokémon league, is so iconic. but he did tell you that quite early on. 'I need power... Power enough to make anyone agree with me.' and then 'I'll defeat the Champion and become unbeatable, unlike any other! I'll make all Trainers free their Pokémon! Just try and stop me! If you want to be together with Pokémon, your only hope is to collect the Badges from each area and head for the Pokémon League! Try and stop me there, if you dare! If your conviction is not strong enough, you will never be able to defeat me.' you see how neat that is? see how narratively awesome and efficient it is to give the player yet another, more serious reason to do the gym circuit? it's one of your personal dreams, like those of your friendly rivals. but now you have a not so friendly rival. not in the sense that he's some neighborhood jerk but in the sense that he's a madman running for public office.

but seriously, it's very important to me that they broke the tradition of the region's official champion being the final boss. they show you the league in all its glory as usual, and then make a big deal out of having team plasma show up and summon a whole entire castle that absolutely disrupts everything. they made it loud and clear that they knew what they were doing as far as breaking tradition. they said 'i know entering the hall of fame is very cool and important to you, and maybe you can do that later, but we have bigger problems right now.' alder is no idiot. he just got defeated! sure he could heal up with some revives and hyper potions but let's get real, he's in no mood to fight you, and it would be irresponsible for both of you to battle at a time like this.

like. now n has all the accolades he needs to set himself up as some sort of god king that no one would dare argue with, and basically the evil new york branch of peta just won the election by a landslide and took over all three branches of the government, and that's sort of a problem maybe. sure they aren't killing anyone or destroying the world (yet) but. they are a much more realistic type of threat. it wouldn't matter if alder was the coolest champion in the series (and i do like the guy as a character); i would not have been able to care even a tiny bit if we had battled him at that moment. and i would have been actively frustrated and let down if we had gotten to battle him after the epic climax of the plot and n's heartbreaking farewell. it was a very unique creative risk to save the championship for postgame, but it worked out so well.

but see like! when n does battle you it's not even because he actually wants to win. every single time, he wants to battle you because he wants to get to know you and to understand the strength (and accuracy) of your convictions. from the very first fight in accumula town to the grand showdown between the two of you. n never wanted victory. he wanted truth. he wanted righteousness. and slowly he learns that he wasn't the one who had either of those. his external journey was a facade for his inner one, which he can only bear to admit to you after everything has unfolded and he's finally safe and free from ghetsis and team plasma.

that's all to say, when it comes to him, pokémon battling is the only appropriate gameplay mechanic by which you ought to interact with him. unlike other antagonists he's not fighting to tell you to get lost, or to rob you, or to kill you, etc. he specifically needs to hear the voices of your pokémon in battle to realize you are a good and kind trainer and that he was lied to about battling. this specific conflict wouldn't work in another piece of media. of course, a more general theme of having been lied to about truth or justice could be done, but black and white specifically wants to talk about the ethics of pokémon training itself (to which there really isn't a real-world equivalent, since making animals fight is usually either rare and specific, or outright illegal. as far as i know. it’s definitely not a public sport that children are encouraged to participate in. and we don't have pokéballs so we can't verify irl how comfortable and fun it is to be digitized and put in a machine. it's probably fun for them but idk.) and that's so fascinating.

now of course, ghetsis is a more typical antagonist who actually wants you gone. dead, even. but for him, i think a pokémon battle as a final conflict still works. for one, they don't overuse it. in lots of cases, you battle evil team leaders or their admins multiple times- the majority of those times being an attempt simply to get you to stand down. when they finally 'get serious', sure the battle may be harder later on, but you're still doing the exact thing you were before. and like. you probably expected this, right?

ghetsis, however, doesn't even seem like a pokémon trainer at all until the very last second. it doesn't take you too long to figure out he's rancid and a manipulator, and that team plasma is trying to capture pokémon in order to have a monopoly over unova, but for all you know, he really might not use any pokémon himself. maybe only the king and the grunts do the whole battling thing but it's the sages' job to just walk around and say cryptic poetic things. and then. boom. he whips out a full killer team of six. he goes from 0 to 60 real fast. you've had zero experience with battling him thus far and therefore have absolutely no idea what he's packing and it's scary.

and of course, how could i not talk about his actual team? his infamous ace is a few levels too low to be a legitimate hydreigon, implying something fishy or forced. and in the sequel it's got frustration in its moveset, executed at maximum power- first of all, what kind of sicko even runs that move in the first place? unless you're like. working with buneary or otherwise doing something really specific. and what kind of sicko is so abusive to their pokémon that they lower its base friendship from 35 to 0? of course, that's a rather low base friendship value to begin with. but see, with this entire evolutionary line being vicious in its lore, you'd think it would be perfect for a guy like ghetsis, right? they're both brutal and also irrational- being geniuses, and yet knowing nothing but destruction. hydreigon is a killing machine and ghetsis flies into a genuine insane rage upon losing. point being you'd think they'd have fun together. we've seen villains legitimately bond with their pokémon before. but instead they're two toxic haters that don't mesh. ghetsis is so evil even his own partner hates him. and he delights in that and actively chooses to benefit from it via the use of a particular move. ugh i love when pokémon battles subtly say something about trainer npcs through gameplay mechanics...

also did i mention he's trying to Kill You. other villains are probably fine with doing that if necessary but scaring you off or taking away all your pokémon would also work. ghetsis implies that he specifically needs you dead because you know the ugly truth, and that knowledge makes that battle a lot more chilling than usual. that is a case of a true pokémon battle to the death. it doesn't feel cheap or like a relatively casual competition there, it's not a fight where either side is trying to prove anything, etc. and you can tell his bloodlust was genuine because he does not give up or admit defeat. he tries to murder the next protagonist too and goes to even more extreme measures that time.

ghetsis is using his pokémon as weapons against you because they're the most efficient way to murder you. that's all he wants. and you can tell he needs them because purely visually you can see he's gotta be kind of an old man with at least two physical disabilities, and he's not really dressed for physical activity- he's dressed like a big shot noble (or thinks he is. that fit is so ugly) who could never get his own hands dirty. and thematically it's perfect for the big bad leader of all hypocrites to use pokémon as tools, as opposed to any other type of weapon. like he could go get a gun or something if this was rated higher, but i think the sicko probably delights specifically in lording power over his tormented pokémon, if choosing to run frustration on hydreigon when there are probably better move options available means anything. i think he'd choose this means of battle in any universe he could.

in conclusion! the generation 5 games, more than any other games, absolutely needed to be pokémon games in order for the story to work. they closely examine fascinating aspects of the pokémon universe that are otherwise taken for granted. they seamlessly merge the goal of travelling and working to become the champion, and the goal of stopping the villains, instead of having these be awkwardly separate storylines. the gameplay is relevant to all three tiers of antagonist- grunts, main antagonist, and true mastermind villain- in different ways. i would love for another set of pokémon games to have such a focused, unified plotline that also feels relevant to the overall series. very swagful. something something mic drop

[liviawildrose]

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐫𝐚𝐬

what even are chakras?

chakras (from the sanskrit word cakra, meaning “wheel” or “disc”) are spinning vortexes of subtle energy that exist within your pranic body (also called the “subtle body”). they’re not physical organs, but energetic hubs where mind, body, and spirit meet.

chakras were described as energy centers (padmas, or “lotuses”) that store prana: life force, within the subtle body, which is different from the physical body.

this subtle body is composed of nadis (energy channels), koshas (layers of consciousness), and chakras (energy hubs).

the original chakra texts were written in sanskrit, and the most detailed source comes from the shat-chakra-nirupana, a 16th-century tantric text that laid out the seven main chakras and their symbolic, spiritual, and physiological associations.

they influence your thoughts, emotions, physical health, spiritual growth, relationships, and even your damn bank account.

when your chakras are healthy and flowing freely, your whole life aligns like sacred geometry. when they’re blocked or chaotic? expect spiritual lag, emotional glitches, physical illness, and endless chaos.

important to note:

in the original tantric system, chakras weren’t “self-care tools” they were maps to divine awakening used during intense yogic, meditative, and kundalini practices to transcend ego, illusion, and reincarnation. it was liberation tech, not lifestyle inspo.

but now, in this modern age of energy work, psychology, and soul evolution, the chakra system has become a universal template applicable to everyone, not just yogis. and we’re gonna fuse that original wisdom with real psychology, real healing, and real magic.

origin of the chakra system

• earliest references to energy centers show up in the Vedas (ancient hindu scriptures) around 1500–1000 BCE.

• the shat-chakra-nirupana, a 16th-century tantric text, outlined the 7-chakra system most people know today.

• the system was never meant to be aesthetic it was part of a serious spiritual practice to activate kundalini shakti, the dormant divine feminine energy said to be coiled at the base of your spine.

originally, chakra work was about liberating the soul from illusion (maya) and achieving moksha (spiritual liberation). but in today’s world, chakra healing can help you:

• release trauma + emotional baggage

• align with your highest self

• create energetic flow in your career, love life, and creative path

• experience divine connection + psychic expansion

how do chakras work?

imagine 7 power stations wired along your spine. each one governs a certain aspect of your physical body, emotional world, mental patterns, and spiritual connection.

when they’re:

• balanced → energy flows freely = peace, joy, purpose, radiance

• blocked → stuck energy = fear, fatigue, illness, toxic patterns

• overactive → too much energy = burnout, anxiety, ego overdrive

• underactive → not enough energy = apathy, insecurity, numbness

your 7 main chakras

1. root chakra – muladhara

“i exist. i survive. i am grounded.”

• sanskrit: mula = root, adhara = support/foundation

• location: base of spine, pelvic floor

• element: earth

• color: red

• mantra: LAM

• gland: adrenal glands (fight-or-flight center)

• body link: spine, legs, bones, colon

• psych themes: survival, money, stability, belonging, family, safety

imbalanced symptoms:

• underactive: anxiety, disconnection, poverty mindset, fear of abandonment

• overactive: hoarding, controlling behavior, stubbornness, material obsession

• trauma imprints: childhood neglect, abandonment, physical abuse etc.

when balanced:

• you feel safe in your body and the world

• you can build structure and discipline with ease

• you attract abundance + grounded stability

• you trust life even when it’s hard

healing tools:

• grounding meditations

• red foods: beets, root vegetables, chili

• physical touch, body-based therapies (somatic work)

• walk barefoot, work with hematite, black tourmaline

• build routines + financial structure

• affirmation: “i am worthy of safety and abundance.”

2. sacral chakra – svadhisthana

“i feel. i create. i allow pleasure.”

• sanskrit: sva = self, adhisthana = dwelling place

• location: lower abdomen, 2 inches below navel

• element: water

• color: orange

• mantra: VAM

• gland: reproductive system

• body link: womb, bladder, hips, genitals

• psych themes: sensuality, emotions, creativity, pleasure, intimacy

imbalanced symptoms:

• underactive: numbness, shame, low libido, creative block, disconnection from body

• overactive: hypersexuality, addiction, obsession, drama

• trauma imprints: sexual abuse, body shame, religious guilt, heartbreak

when balanced:

• you radiate magnetism, sensuality, and artistic flow

• your emotions move freely without controlling you

• you’re tapped into your divine feminine and creative life force

• you allow yourself to feel pleasure without guilt

healing tools:

• sensual dance (belly dance, twerking, slow flow yoga)

• sacred baths with rose + orange oil

• creative practices (painting, singing, scripting)

• orange calcite, moonstone

• inner child + womb healing

• affirmation: “i honor my body. i deserve to feel good.”

3. solar plexus – manipura

“i act. i choose. i claim my power.”

• sanskrit: mani = jewel, pura = city → “city of jewels”

• location: stomach, between ribs and navel

• element: fire

• color: yellow

• mantra: RAM

• gland: pancreas + digestive system

• body link: liver, gallbladder, intestines

• psych themes: identity, ambition, boundaries, ego, self-discipline

imbalanced symptoms:

• underactive: low self-esteem, indecision, victim mentality

• overactive: arrogance, perfectionism, aggression, burnout

• trauma imprints: bullying, strict parenting, humiliation, failure shame

when balanced:

• you’re decisive, empowered, and assertive without arrogance

• you have strong boundaries and healthy self-esteem

• you feel motivated and energized to go after what you want

• you become a natural leader

healing tools:

• sunbathing, breath of fire, core exercises

• wear yellow, work with citrine or pyrite

• personal power rituals (write + burn limiting beliefs)

• practice saying “no”

• affirmation: “i am the author of my life. i am enough.”

4. heart chakra – anahata

“i love. i forgive. i connect.”

• sanskrit: anahata = unstruck, infinite sound

• location: center of chest

• element: air

• color: green / pink

• mantra: YAM

• gland: thymus (immune system)

• body link: lungs, heart, arms, hands

• psych themes: compassion, forgiveness, empathy, romantic love, grief

imbalanced symptoms:

• underactive: isolation, coldness, fear of intimacy, bitterness

• overactive: martyrdom, people-pleasing, jealousy, attachment

• trauma imprints: loss, betrayal, rejection, emotional neglect

when balanced:

• you feel deep connection to others and to life itself

• you radiate unconditional love without losing yourself

• your immune system strengthens (yes, real science backs this)

• you can forgive, grieve, and love again

healing tools:

• breathwork (especially heart coherence)

• ho’oponopono (forgiveness prayer)

• emerald, rose quartz

• write love letters to self

• self-compassion meditations

• affirmation: “i am love. i radiate unconditional compassion.”

5. throat chakra – vishuddha

“i speak. i express. i tell the truth.”

• sanskrit: vishuddha = purification

• location: throat and neck

• element: ether (space)

• color: sky blue

• mantra: HAM

• gland: thyroid

• body link: vocal cords, mouth, jaw, ears

• psych themes: communication, truth, expression, listening

imbalanced symptoms:

• underactive: fear of speaking, introversion, repression

• overactive: gossip, interrupting, dominating convos

• trauma imprints: being silenced, punished for truth, gaslighting

when balanced:

• you speak with clarity, confidence, and integrity

• your voice becomes a tool for healing and influence

• you can express yourself artistically and emotionally

• you’re deeply heard by others

healing tools:

• chanting, singing, vocal toning

• write + speak affirmations out loud

• journal your truth

• use lapis lazuli, blue lace agate

• affirmation: “my voice matters. i speak my truth with grace.”

6. third eye – ajna

“i see. i know. i trust my inner wisdom.”

• sanskrit: ajna = to perceive, to command

• location: forehead, between eyebrows

• element: light

• color: indigo

• mantra: OM

• gland: pineal gland (melatonin, circadian rhythms)

• body link: brain, eyes, sinuses

• psych themes: intuition, imagination, perception, clarity

imbalanced symptoms:

• underactive: confusion, over-intellectualizing, lack of faith

• overactive: paranoia, delusion, dissociation

• trauma imprints: disillusionment, spiritual rejection, fear of intuition

when balanced:

• you trust your intuition without needing external validation

• you see life symbolically, not just literally

• dreams become vivid and prophetic

• you develop inner wisdom + spiritual intelligence

healing tools:

• meditation (especially vipassana + visualization)

• dream journaling

• limit screen time

• work with amethyst or labradorite

• third eye massage

• affirmation: “i see clearly. i trust my soul’s vision.”

7. crown chakra – sahasrara

“i transcend. i merge. i remember who i truly am.”

• sanskrit: sahasrara = thousand-petaled

• location: top of the head

• element: pure consciousness

• color: violet / white

• mantra: OM

• gland: pineal + pituitary

• body link: brain, nervous system

• psych themes: spirituality, divine connection, oneness, transcendence

imbalanced symptoms:

• underactive: atheism, existential dread, lack of purpose

• overactive: spiritual bypassing, superiority complex

• trauma imprints: spiritual rejection, religious abuse, nihilism

when balanced:

• you experience oneness with the universe

• you tap into divine downloads, flow states, soul alignment

• you feel limitless, guided, and expansive

• you recognise yourself as a vessel for higher love + wisdom

healing tools:

• meditation in silence

• crown chakra mudras + breathwork

• read sacred texts / study universal wisdom

• selenite, clear quartz

• fast or detox occasionally

• affirmation: “i am one with the divine. i am infinite consciousness in form.”

how to activate, align, and master your chakras daily

• do chakra meditation

• listen to solfeggio frequencies for specific chakras

• wear color-coded outfits / makeup to amplify each chakra

• eat chakra-aligned foods for lunch + dinner

• pull tarot spreads for each chakra to check your energy

• speak chakra mantras out loud in order to harmonize your field

• visualize golden energy spiraling from root to crown every night

[team7-headquarter]

Team 7 is for the fans who can stomach complex and interesting relationships that evolve with time and follow a nonlinear progress.

They're some of the most traumatized individuals in Konoha and one girl who has zero preparation to deal with it. Compared to Team 7, all the other teams were normal. Neji was a slave and Hinata was neglected, but they still had their clan around them, okay? Even when Rock Lee was probably a bullied orphan, his story is closer to Sakura's at worst. Everyone else had healthy families or they were at least regular people.

Do I really have to make emphasis on the Team 7 men's backgrounds? It is a miracle they were as "normal" as they were. It is a miracle only Sasuke became an antagonist.

If you don't like Team 7's dynamic that's okay. It is your opinion and everyone is entitled to have one. But don't claim they didn't care about each other like it is a fact. They do not have perfectly healthy relationships, but it doesn't mean they don't care or that they don't consider each other important. They live in a highly militarized world that they struggle to comprehend because the system has targeted them since they were kids. They didn't have the benefit of a family who taught them or gave them a good example on social behaviors (yes, even Sakura— her parents are nonexistent and irrelevant to the canon).

Sasuke used to have a clan and you can see it in the way he first interacted as a kid with Naruto and Sakura. His behavior afterward was a direct result of political machinations that were in place from the very beginning of the Shinobi world. It's the same with Naruto; Sakura and Sasuke were his first friends after a life of having no one, so of course he is "obsessed" with them. Kakashi Lost everyone and then they make him responsible for the saddest + most problematic kids in Konoha. Sai was tortured and trained to dismiss feelings and he had to learn how to smile. Sakura was a normal 12 years old girl forced to navigate those circumstances and guess what: it was their model of friendship she adopted. Her friendship with Ino was somehow chill (friends who could have been codependent, but rather become rivals so they could both grow on their own), but that was her only friendship and the influence and impact of a life with Team 7 was too great for her not to adapt herself to it.

Yamato is the normal one. That's how insane the situation is...

Maybe in another life Sasuke and Naruto could have the childhood friendship of Shikamaru and Choji or the type of chill rivalry between Neji and Rock Lee. Maybe in a world where they didn't have the fate of the world on their shoulders, they were more normal. Maybe in that universe Sakura would have been properly guided so she doesn't believe her growth is only measured in beauty or making a boy notice her; maybe she would be confident enough as a child to better navigate her friendship with Sasuke and Naruto, instead of having to learn it through trial and error. Maybe Sai would have grown with the social tools to be in a no-awkward friendship, maybe he'd openly connect with others through art and not insults. Maybe Kakashi's regrets would be less and their weight wouldn't hamper on his ability to connect with his students. Maybe his own PTSD would not stand in the way.

As it is, Team 7 is full of individuals who fight for the right to form connections despite the odds being against them. They hold to each other with both hands despite the fact it'd be easier and less painful to let the other die. They don't care if their friendship is not perfect, they still want it.

It's unhealthy, it's insane, they shouldn't have to do it, but they want to. Because. They. Care.

[ottersul]

Cyclops & The Phoenix Force Pt.1

So first post gonna do something big and write without restriction like Twitter has. So this is just my mind going wild.

Let’s talk about Scott Summers’ relationship with the Phoenix Force. I’ll start with how it connects to Jean, from the very first time she became Phoenix. I’ve talked about this on Twitter before, but it deserves a proper dive.

So In the 1970s, Scott was at the height of his obsession with self-control. Being worthy, to him, meant being a good leader and protecting others, especially the people he loved. Add to that mix the abandonnment issues he has after a childhood on the orphanage, he feels for other to care or love him he has to be up to expectations.

All that explains why he’s so protective of Jean and why he spirals into guilt after she sacrifices herself and becomes Phoenix.

Now Scott has always been someone who seeks control—not just over his powers, but over his environment and relationships. Jean’s cosmic transformation threatens that. When she returns after the shuttle incident and tells her parents about what happened (Uncanny X-Men #101), we get a haunting panel of Scott watching through the window, detached. Nightcrawler remarks they’re taking it hard. Scott replies, "Wouldn’t you?"

It’s a subtle but powerful moment. That quiet distance, that calm expression he's—repressing. But more than that, it shows the shift: Jean is now something unpredictable.

This becomes even more evident in Uncanny X-Men #114, when Scott tells Ororo that Jean isn’t "the girl [he] loved anymore." Not because she changed emotionally, but because her power made her unknowable to him. That power destabilized their dynamic. He loved Jean Grey, the girl he could hold, protect, lead beside. Phoenix? That’s something else. Scott doesn’t just lose the girl he loved—he loses the illusion of safety, predictability, and emotional grounding she once gave him.

But he doesn't understand that, he can't make that process, he keeps trying to connect with her because he stills love her, but here, as he sees Jean's powers he wonders "why do I find that so disconcerting?"

And because Scott is someone who equates control with self-worth, Jean’s evolution breaks his framework. She doesn’t need his protection. She doesn’t fit in his emotional logic. So he starts losing grasp on what their relationship even is.

He blames himself—for not being able to keep up, for not knowing how to talk to her, for not being strong enough to ground her. He doesn’t fear Jean’s power because he’s intimidated by it; he fears it because it takes her away from him, and he can't do anything about it after all he's just a man.

That’s the heartbreak. Scott isn’t afraid of Jean’s power because it threatens his masculinity. He’s afraid because it changes her, and with that, threatens the emotional intimacy they shared. Her transcendence—becoming something vast and divine—makes him feel small, obsolete, unable to relate, unworthy. That emotional dissonance is what eats away at him. And he doesn’t have the tools to process it.

Of course this is later taken in Whedon's run exactly the same scene than before but adds a more explicit layer

Scott tells Jean: "I just want you to know, I understand about power that has to be controlled." He’s trying to connect, to say, "We’re the same. I get what it’s like."

Jean smiles sadly and says, "Scott, love, you’re just a man."

That response isn’t cruel. It’s quiet heartbreak. It’s her saying, gently, that the gap between them is real. Scott fights his power every day. He wins by suppressing. Jean is becoming something beyond human, and she knows that no amount of discipline or empathy can change that.

She still loves him. You can see it in her eyes. But she also knows he can’t follow her where she’s going. And Scott, deep down, knows it too.

That’s what makes his later bond with the Phoenix so fascinating—but also why it haunts him. Because for Scott, the Phoenix is tied to guilt, failure, loss of connection. It’s the moment he lost Jean, emotionally and literally.

When she dies, all of that is left unresolved. Their last arc together ends in tragedy, and Scott is left carrying the weight of unspoken fear, love, and guilt. That becomes his trauma with the Phoenix.

That trauma never left him. Not when he carried it. Not when he became its host himself. And not now in current comics Buuuut that's spoiling so that's for the first part

Next is trauma in the 80s/90s and New X-men Phoenix Jean which leads to... the affair

[lilac-rose-writes]

How Dolls in the KG Games Function as a Mirror for Cindy and Penny

in both kindergarten games, there is a doll house that cindy plays with at some point. she exchanges dialogue with the player, playing out scenes of domestic disputes, emotional revelations, and relationships ruined by secrecy and alcohol. there is, of course, the immediate subtext of this reflecting cindy's own unstable home environment, where she witnesses two fighting parents, is in contact with an alcoholic father, has access to knives, so on and so forth.

however, in kg2, she plays house again. cindy continues the narrative of her fictional "unborn child" in the first game, this time acting like her "daughter" is already born. instead of pretending to be a miserable pregnant woman in a struggling marriage, cindy acts confident and assured, placing herself in the pretend role as a maternal figure for her doll- but in a way that centres on the mother protecting her daughter, and trying to keep her close. cindy would sooner get sprayed in the eyes with disinfectant than relinquish her doll.

this not only parallels cindy's love for her missing dog biscuit and devastation at said dog's absence, but it also offers an interesting parallel to penny's similar fixation on the doll. both want to take care of it, play with it and give it love and attention. and i think that's founded on an absence of maternal care in their own lives.

cindy likes to imagine a mother who loves her kid more than anything and cares deeply about her- but the only knowledge we have of Cindy's own mother is the doll's house exchange, cindy insulting her, and her not packing a vegan sandwich when asked to (and i know that's small, but if a parent isn't willing to indulge even the smallest of requests, what indication is there that they care at all?). she treats the doll not like a toy, but like a person: one worth valuing and looking out for.

penny, on the other hand, uses the doll as a vessel for her lost childhood. where cindy's environment seems to have always been unstable, penny reminisces on simpler times when she was allowed to act like a kindergartener, not a tool. in caring for the doll, she heals the part of herself that her own mother damaged; but it also feels notable to me that penny refers to this care as "playing with her dolly". this is both deliberately childish and directly acknowledging that this is play pretend. unlike cindy's aggressive immersion in her game, penny gently and tragically distances herself from becoming too emotionally attached again. like how penny's mother has reduced her to a machine, penny reduces her favourite thing to its literal term of a doll.

both cindy and penny are possessive- "my daughter", "my dolly". both use it as a form of escapism from the brutal world they live in. both try to mimic the role of the maternal figure they wish they had in their lives- and ultimately find themselves without the doll, ties severed from it by forces beyond their control. the doll ends up abandoned in the kg2 building. penny ends up dead. and cindy, once again, ends up alone.

[chaaistained]

☕︎ tea for two; gwen x barry •°

arrowverse dr — aesthetic archive [[ moodboard + desc + playlist ]]

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🗝️ you’ve now unlocked the teacup couple of my arrowverse dr ≈

some people look at love as a mere chemical reaction — a compounded concoction of dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin — mixed in with a couple other self imposed sensations and there you have it, the recipe for romance. simple and efficient.

gwen wasn’t entirely sure she understood what love was, her first boyfriend felt like an obligation to their shared childhood, raised only a few houses apart. barry, on the other hand, thought he knew all about love, a trauma bonded tourniquet held onto his heart when he looked at his best friend, the girl he loved his entire life, who never noticed him as anything more.

moving through life with a goal so vast and daunting, it seemed impossible, the two of them were left chasing after these desperate attempts at reconciling their past. leaving them with no time to even consider anything more for their future.

but sometimes the impossible becomes the future. sometimes the path that gets carved from bloodied, dirt ridden hands, is the very path that you are meant to lead.

what other explanation is there? how is it possible for gwen’s path to converge with barry’s when he resides halfway across the world and she crosses into his city limits in an attempt to flee a fight too far gone?

there’s no point in trying to find meaning in what has become matter, there’s no point in trying to dissect the compounds of a chemical reaction that has already erupted inside the glass beaker you have for a heart.

all they shared was a handshake and with every day that followed, gwen felt her soul thundering with every spark in barry’s eyes. and that terrified her ..

she who was deigned a weapon, a tool, an asset to clean up the mess made by those in power. she who donned the name of an animal, a beast shackled to her loyalties, bound by family and fortune. she who was deemed a rogue… how could he love somebody like her?

yet all he sees is a woman, cloaked in intrigue and elegance, harbouring a fire so fierce it renders him speechless, holding the power to literally bring him to his knees and yet he’d willingly crumble before her every time if it meant he could make her smile, hear her laugh, look into her eyes. she wasn’t just loved, she was worshipped.

and for that, barry allen was the only being on the planet who understood and respected the threat that was the tigress, enough for him to be the only one she’d listen to.

it’s polarising, a relationship between an ambush personified and the literal embodiment of sunshine, but maybe the burn of his sun is just as troubling as the comfort of her solemnity, for there can’t exist thunder without lightning.

listening to : gwen x barry — when lightning strikes ━━━━─────────────●── ⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤ ↻

now playing :

၊||၊▸ glad you came — glee cast

၊||၊▸ i found — amber run

၊||၊▸ feel something — jaymes young

၊||၊▸ wonderwall — oasis [cover by zella day]

၊||၊▸ i wanna be yours — arctic monkeys

၊||၊▸ iris — the goo goo dolls the irony is acknowledged

၊||၊▸ someone to stay — vancouver sleep clinic

၊||၊▸ sweet serenity — pixie mccann

၊||၊▸ runnin’ home to you (guitar version) — grant gustin

၊||၊▸ start of time — gabrielle alpin

don’t swallow the tea leaves ! for they leave you a message 🍂

the og golden retriever nerd that i fell in love w at ten years old ahshdjdj ive had this in the drafts for ages bcs istg the only thing that takes long is the desc and yet . i smash it all out in ten mins… it’s literally just my procrastination, i’m creative enough to write smth in one sitting and yet i still hold off till the “last minute” every. single. time. so.. yeah :) anyway here you go !! a dr relationship post ib my lovely little flower bud @elysian-fawn <333 also, again, the playlist is ordered to fit the series of events of my dr hehe. and finally — THANK YOU FOR 500 !!!!!

chaai brews; tea assortments — dr archive

2025 © chaaistained

[aromanticbugyuri]

I am still on tlok phase to no one's surprise, I've noticed something about Bolin after rewatching and actually paying attention to the scenes...he just gets objectified a lot, maybe it is just me but back and forth he is always seem as a "the lovable idiot" by others.

[Gif ID: A gif of Bolin from the legend of Korra, he is leaning his face on his hand, with a relaxed smile while blinking. End of ID.]

To get to my point I am gonna go back to his backstory, his parents died and Bolin became homeless alongside his brother, normally children in these sort of situation are easily exploited by adults which is what happened.

Bolin seemed more naive than Mako, he is younger and Mako probably sheltered him, basically becoming the "parent" in the situation, incredible traumatic and it lead him to developing a rough exterior towards others because he knew that people like him and Bolin would be taken advantage by others.

This leads me to how Bolin views himself, he fights for a living and it might have lead him to develop a complex, Bolin is the "naive one" to contrast Mako being the "tough one", he holds the responsibility his father or mother should have but neither of them have that luxury.

[Image ID: two images from the legend of Korra, both featuring Bolin wearing his NukTuk outfit. The first one is a black and white image of Ginger and Bolin, she is holding into him while staring at the viewer, meanwhile Bolin has a fierce expression on his face with one hand raised, pointing at the viewer. The second image is Varrick, whose only hands are featured, doing a camera gesture at Bolin, with a confused expression. End of ID.]

Him becoming an "actor" made me think that all those years of being a fire ferret really did something to his self esteem, dressing up as a stereotype of a water tribe attire that shows off his body, like that isn't bad per say, Bolin knows he has a good body because that's a "tool" for him to work.

Years later that scene finally makes sense. All his story arcs didn't truly make sense to me at first because it felt like Bolin was being tossed around, now it made sense because he would allow himself to be tossed around by others if that meant he received the validation and love that he lacked as a child that got his childhood taken away from him.

Deep down Bolin just wants validation for others, he just wants to be liked for something and maybe deep down he knows he is being exploited by others but that's literally how he grew up, by being exploited. He sees this as a normal thing, so to Bolin being wanted or liked means being exploited.

[Image description: three screenshots of the legend of Korra. The first one is Bolin with a sad expression holding a flower bouquet with Pabu on his shoulder, watching Korra and Mako kiss. The second one features Bolin and Opal beifong, she's kissing his cheek while he looks surprised. The third one features Eska and Bolin standing next to each other. End of id.]

Do you see a pattern in those relationships Bolin had with women? He always tried to impress them, seeking for their validation, everyone likes validation but on Bolin case there are patterns to it, he doesn't notice how Korra isn't interested nor how Eska was being controlling towards him(I do say that Opal may be the exception to the bad pattern thing but my point stands).

Conclusion:

I wanna study him under a microscope byee<33

Edit: Let's not forget that there was a INCREDIBLE unnecessary scene of Bolin kissing Ginger against her consent and it was played for jokes. It was extremely out of pocket and I felt very out of character (to me at least), it sucks.

[twilightkitkat]

Thoughts on Origins Victor? My theory is that he accepted his inner animal because when his mutation emerged it gave him an opportunity not to be a victim anymore. (The movie doesn't state this but i think we all know from sub context that Thomas beat him regularly) And he was so brutal and arrogant because being the man meant having to come to terms with the abuse he suffered and so he lost himself in his animalistic side. He wanted Logan being like him too because for him it meant strength and not being vulnerable. But all in all he cared about Logan deeply. He loved him. When he encouraged him to kill him later on he didn't wanna die. And he knew Logan wouldn't have done it. But during that moment he could feel Logan's animal side breaking to the surface stronger than ever before and wanted to encourage his little brother to fully submit to it. So that he would become strong. Because Logan's empathy and morals were weakness in his eyes. A weakness that Logan needed to be freed from in order to overcome his emotial pain.

So what you think?

I think that Victor's childhood trauma definitely played a vital part in shaping who he became. He was used to being seen as less than, to getting beaten, to being constantly reminded that he was beneath everyone. This manifested into an obsession with hierarchy and being the "apex predator" to overcompensate for how he felt as a kid, weak and beneath the feet of those above him. He lived life by the status quo, and so if he wanted to survive he needed to claw his way to the top of it the only way he knew how: violence.

His need for the control he never had in his childhood manifests into a perverted form of sadism. He likes being in power and playing "god" over whether people live or die. He likes seeing how terrified people are of him, because it means he has the power. It comforts him to know how far he's come and that he isn't the same weak little kid he used to be. It's nice to be respected, even if that respect is built on fear and only kept through violence.

Victor is also characterized by a remarkable lack of empathy, which leads me to believe he either was born with or developed ASPD. His lack of empathy isn't what drives him to kill, that's for the reasons stated above, but it makes it easier for him to detach himself from it all. In the Origins movie, he never seems to view his victims as "humans." He views them as means to an end so that he can get to Logan or as victims or tools to display his dominance to those around him. He doesn't feel remorse for his actions because he has difficulties understanding "normal" emotions and he isn't thinking of people as dynamic individuals with lives and hopes and dreams.

This especially affects his relationship with Logan. Logan also struggles with empathy in some cases, but not to the same degree as Victor. Logan sees people as they are—people. He is capable of detaching himself from them to some extent, which is why he was able to stay with Victor throughout the wars and continue fighting, but not entirely. When they start killing civilians outright, not just nameless soldiers who signed up for battle, Logan can't take it anymore. He snaps.

And Victor doesn't understand this. His lack of empathy isn't just for the people he kills, but for Logan, too. It isn't that Victor doesn't care about Logan, but he can't understand him. What does he mean, he feels bad? Doesn't Logan get that those people don't matter, that they're just tools to let them climb up the ranks?

It's why he feels so betrayed when Logan walks away. To him, Logan left him over a squabble about toys. He thinks that leaving because he kills people is a petty reason, and that Logan would leave him over just that. After all they've been through. All Victor's done for him.

Logan, to Victor, is someone he's entitled to. He's the only person who's immortal like him, who has been by his side since the start. Their relationship is unhealthy and a little coercive but Victor cares about Logan in a way he doesn't for anyone else. He loves him. Getting "betrayed" by Logan was what caused Victor to finally crack and go fully to the dark side, even if he was heading there anyway.

Victor thinks that Logan's morality and humanity are weaknesses. Victor gave into his animalistic side because it gave him more power and it made people fear him. It made him a sharp and unpredictable tool, a wild animal with a loose leash at the top of the food chain. Exactly where he wanted to be.

But Victor doesn't understand that Logan doesn't want that. Giving in completely to becoming an animal means denying yourself the ability to be human. To have human luxuries and emotions and comforts. It's denying the other half of himself. And Victor is fine with that, because he views that half as weak and useless, but Logan isn't.

In the end, Logan's soft side is just as much of a strength as it is a weakness. It lets him be both a human and an animal. It lets him form genuine connections and emotional bonds. It gives him strength and a network of support and a greater purpose. Something to fight for.

Victor only sees this when it's too late. He goads Logan into almost killing him because he wants to prove, once and for all, that his ideals are correct. That Logan was an apex predator like him, that he was just as much of animal, that they were one and the same and there was no denying his roots. He wanted to prove that Logan was like him because he wanted to walk the same path as him. (To have someone who understood him. The only "human" luxury he'd allow.)

But Logan turns him down. He sneers at his way of living and leaves. He rejects him once and for all.

And when Victor reunites with him much, much, later, he sees why. Because had Victor ever been as happy as Logan looked right now? Had he ever allowed himself to be content, to not obsess over his standing or power? Had he ever just let himself be human because at least then he could be happy?

Logan looks at Wade like he's his reason for living, his life partner, the thing he's been looking for his entire life. He looks at Wade like he's his home.

When was the last time Victor felt like he had that?

[zzigzadig]

Androgyny and individuation in Demian (Hesse, 1919)

Hesse's novel Demian explores the theme of androgyny and gender ambiguity in depth, using it as a symbol of overcoming the dichotomies that define the ordinary world. Androgyny in the characters is not just a physical or aesthetic characteristic, but represents the fusion of opposites, a condition in which male and female, good and evil, spirit and body coexist without conflict, and it is linked to Jung's theories on the psyche and individuation, the process of integration of the shadow, the dark part of the personality, and of the anima, the feminine principle in men. Emil must fight and create a new world beyond binary for himself.

(long post)

Individuation is a process by which one achieves individual wholeness, in the words of Jung “one who was supposed to be”. In this process, interpretation of dreams plays a dominant role, expressing the content of the unconscious, both personal and collective (this is explained by Jung in his Psychology and Alchemy). The individuation is not a linear process, but one with deviations and extremes , which place the individual in contradictory positions and often cause unbearable moral sufferings. Before birth, when the ego has not yet truly formed, the unconscious is one with the mother and its situation is associated by Jung with that of the Ouroboros, the snake that eats its own tail. From birth, the ego begins its development and separates from the mother to look for another woman, a sexual partner that Jung makes correspond to the archetype of the anima. Hesse showed perfectly in Demian that the essential complication of this relationship is the fact that the archetype of the anima in male psychology, is always initially mixed with the image of the mother (1). Dreams are very important in Demian, more than physical events, they shape Emil's growth and desires. It’s in a “love dream” that emerges the figure of what Emil calls his destiny, which evolves from a portrait of a girl, Beatrice, yet it resembles a boy, Demian, angel and demon, human and beast, and it is described as Sinclair's truest soul. Still cis tho.

Steps of the individuation, which can be connected to specific episodes in the novel, includes: 

the assimilation of the shadow (“defeating” Kromer) 

the confrontation with the anima (portrait of Beatrice)

the encounter with the archetype of the Wise Old Man (friendship with Pistorius)

For young Sinclair, society presents itself with rigid boundaries, separating the male from the female, good from evil. His childhood is marked by a sharp division between the world of light and the world of darkness, his family corresponds to the bright world, where there is good, righteousness, prayer, etc. In the same way, men and women are two poles that intertwine only to do “mysterious grown-up” things. The father represents authority and rigidity, Sinclair’s relationship with him is not very peaceful and he  disregards his father as he grows up and has open conflict with authority such as teachers in school. Meanwhile, the mother is loving but passive, and his sisters, who embody the world of light and are seen as angels, distance themselves as they grow up, finding Emil both amusing and awkward in his teenager body. 

In the opening chapter, Sinclair expresses a longing to be part of the world of light, yet he feels unable to fully belong to it. He loses the light when he chooses the darkness. The education that Sinclair receives from his family does not provide him with the tools necessary to face the challenges of adolescence, and this pushes him to look for answers elsewhere. Sinclair’s conviction on the dichotomy of the world is challenged by the mere existence of Demian, who contradicts duality and embraces both light and dark, male and female, young and old. When Emil hears of Abraxas, the novel makes a stronger turn towards the idea of ​​a conjunction of opposites. This idea is very similar to the process of individuation described by Jung. 

“What about masculinity? Do you know how much femininity man lacks for completeness? Do you know how much masculinity a woman lacks for completeness? You seek the feminine in women and the masculine in men. And thus there are always only men and women. But where are people? You, man, should not seek the feminine in women, but seek and recognize it in yourself, as you possess it from the beginning.” (2)

Many spiritual traditions consider the androgynous as an expression of the divine. Throughout the Middle Ages, the myth of the androgynous being, seen as a model of human perfection, was present in the secret traditions of mysticism and theosophy in both the East and the West. In Islamic mysticism, divine presence often appears as an "angel-man" with an androgynous form. In Hafiz’s poetry, the beloved is not assigned a specific grammatical gender. Many translations struggle due to Hafiz’s distinctive figurative language and deliberate ambiguity (3). Hafiz’s lyrics on divine love can be reflected in the being of love dreams of Sinclair. 

The alchemical operation for the preparation of the philosopher's stone was the union between the masculine and feminine principles.Gnosticism places great importance on the myth of the androgynous being, viewing androgyny as an essential condition for human perfection—a return to a primordial, pre-formal state, free from attributes or polarizations. In particular, the Naassenes, a Gnostic sect, held that the celestial archetype, known as Adamas, was androgynous. Adam, the earthly man, was only a reflection of this divine archetype and was therefore also androgynous. Since all humans originate from Adam, the androgynous is believed to exist within each individual (4).

Most of the characters in Demian are portrayed with an androgynous or ambiguous quality, often blending traits of both youth and old age. 

Demian 

“I saw Demian’s face, I saw not only that he had not the face of a boy, but that of a man; I saw still more, I thought I saw, or felt, that it was not the face of a man either but something else besides. There seemed to be also something of the woman in his features, and particularly it seemed to me for a moment, not manly or boyish, nor old or young, but somehow or other a thousand years old, not to be measured by time, bearing the stamp of other epochs. Animals could look like that, or trees, or stones” (Demian, chapter 3 , english translation by N. H. Priday, 1923)

Since his first appearance, Sinclair himself is not sure how to describe with precision Demian, this boy surrounded by mystery and rumors, a being who seems to have already overcome the categories imposed by the ordinary world. Recalling animal and mythological images, Demian seems to come from an ancient era.

“Perhaps he was beautiful, perhaps he pleased me, perhaps even he was repugnant— I could not then determine.” (Demian, chapter 3)

These feelings of repulsion and reverence at same time happen again in the dream in chapter 2, where Sinclair suffers by the hand of Kromer and then because of Demian, this time welcoming the torture. However, beyond being merely a mentor or an object of desire, Demian also functions as a projection of Sinclair’s unconscious self, his true self. Then again in this dream in chapter 5: 

“Rapture and horror were mixed, the embrace was a sort of divine worship, and yet a crime as well. Too much of the memory of my mother, too much of the memory of Max Demian was contained in the form which embraced me. The embrace seemed repulsive to my sentiment of reverence, yet I felt happy. I often awoke out of this dream with a deep feeling of contentment, often with the fear of death and a tormenting conscience as if I were guilty of a terrible sin.”

Emil experiences deeply ambivalent feelings toward Demian, this time present in the Abraxas incarnation of his dreams, torn between an undeniable attraction and the weight of his upbringing, which has ingrained in him the notion of sin and guilt, very aware of what the terrible sin and crime is (gay gay gay homosexual), to the point of fearing for his life and giving him a reason to feel guilty about himself once more. His perception of his feelings as something forbidden, even criminal, is something present since chapter 1. His longing for Demian is expressed repeatedly throughout the novel, making the queer subtext not very subtle. 

Beatrice 

Sinclair is immediately attracted and devoted to her. He isn’t really interested in the real girl, he values only her image and what it represents to him. Also worth noting that he likes her in virtue of her boyish features and ephebic beauty. 

“She was tall and slender, elegantly dressed, and had a wise, boyish face. She pleased me at once, she belonged to the type that I loved, and she began to work upon my imagination. She was scarcely older than I, but she was more mature; she was elegant and possessed a good figure, already almost a woman, but with a touch of youthful exuberance in her features, which pleased me exceedingly.” (Demian, chapter 4)

Pistorius   

Pistorius is a character who also embodies a dual nature: he is both a mature man and a child, a mystic and an unfulfilled dreamer. Hesse uses the word "effeminate” to describe Pistorius' soft features, in contrast to the strength of the upper half of his face:

“....his face was just as I had expected it to be. It was ugly and somewhat uncouth, with the look of a seeker and of an eccentric, obstinate and strong-willed, with a soft and childish mouth. The expression of what was strong and manly lay in the eyes and forehead; on the lower half of the face sat a look of gentleness and immaturity, rather effeminate and showing a lack of self-mastery. The chin indicated a boyish indecision, as if in contradiction with the eyes and forehead. I liked the dark brown eyes, full of pride and hostility.” (Demian, chapter 5)

This description ties in with how Pistorius has an unfulfilled destiny and dream of being a leader of a new religion and how he is the prodigal son, both an adult and a child, still tied to his family and even more, the past and institutionalized religion.

Eva

The culmination of the concept of union of opposites is represented by the character of Eva, Demian's mother. She, almost worshipped as a goddess, is the leader of the circle of the elite, the individuals bearing Cain's mark, which Sinclair joins toward the end.

“There it was, the tall, almost masculine woman’s figure, resembling her son, with traits of motherliness, traits which denoted severity, and deep passion, beautiful and alluring, beautiful and unapproachable, demon and mother, destiny and mistress. [...] Her voice and her words were like those of her son, and yet quite different. Everything was more mature, warmer, more assured.” (Demian, chapter 7)

Demian is a feminine boy, and Eva is a masculine woman: mirrors of each other. In Eva, all opposites come together, not in conflict but in harmony. She represents the final stage of Sinclair’s journey, the embodiment of Abraxas. At the same time, she reflects both his idealized mother figure and his hidden desires. Sinclair’s love for Eva is not just about maternal affection. It is a continuation of his feelings for Demian, but now expressed in a new way that fits societal norms. Unlike his hesitant attraction to Demian, his feelings for Eva are open and intense, showing that she represents both acceptance and fulfillment of something he struggled with before. Her appearance and demeanor is very similar to her son, except she is a version of Demian that Emil is allowed to love, because she is a woman and not a man. In this sense, she serves as an outlet for the emotions he has repressed for years. It is difficult to separate the characters of Demian and Eva, because they, as I said, are a mirror of each other. Emil's feelings towards both of them are intertwined, nonetheless valid on their own. I think Emil loves both of them, but the fact that they are likely projections of Emil's mind complicates everything. 

Eva is the end of Sinclair's journey, when he first meets her he feels at home, she is what he was looking for. Demian's home— Eva’s home is a garden, a new Eden in which Sinclair can love and be loved for who he really is, in opposition to his family home. Her name, Eva, also carries symbolic weight, as it is the name of the first woman, who sinned against God and the mother of Cain and Abel, this all circles back to the first encounter with Demian and the mark of Cain. Her eternally youthful appearance reminds me of another very important mother figure, the Pietà Vaticana by Michelangelo. In the Pietà, Mary appears much younger than one might expect for a woman who has lost a 33-year-old son. 

“But just as Max in years past had made on no one the impression of being a mere boy, so his mother did not look like the mother of a grown-up son, so young and sweet was the breath of her face and hair, so smooth her golden skin, so blossoming her mouth.” (Demian, chapter 7)

Michelangelo’s focus was symbolic: he depicted Mary as young, as she was when she conceived Jesus, suggesting that "chastity, holiness, and incorruption preserve youth" (5). This iconography of the Pietà, or Vesperbild, became popular in Central Europe during the 14th century, with small sculptures showing the Virgin seated, holding the body of Christ after his death on Good Friday. During the Middle Ages, Mary was considered not only as the mother of Christ but also as his bride and as a symbol of the Church. In a similar way, Eva is not just Demian’s mother, (according to students rumors in chapter 3, her lover, too) but the mother of mankind, an idea and a spiritual figure. Eva, a woman that Sinclair calls mother, lover, whore and Abraxas. Demian also has some connotations of a Christ-like figure, he embodies the Self, the archetype of psychic totality, according to Jung. 

She’s tender, loving, but also scary and confusing: the hallucination/vision of the gigantic Eva on the battlefield causes destruction, the mother who brings birth also brings death, like the hindu goddess Kali, worshipped as the mother of the universe, associated with death and destruction. 

"Everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled.” (6)

 This hermetic principle of polarity, expressed in “The Kybalion”, perfectly encapsulates the gender of characters in Demian. 

(1) C. G. Jung. The archetypes and the collective unconscious. 1968. (2) C.G. Jung. The Red Book. 2009 (3) D. Ingenito. Tradurre Ḥāfeẓ: Quattro Divān Attuali. Oriente Moderno.2009. (4) https://www.rigenerazionevola.it/larchetipo-androgino/ (5) Giorgio Vasari. Le vite de' più eccellenti pittori, scultori e architettori. 1550-1567. (6) The Kybalion. 1908 by "Three Initiates" (William Walker Atkinson)

[notdexterousatall]

Having recently gotten back into Percy Jackson fanfiction, I can now claim my least favorite Percy mischaracterization that I am seeing all the time:

He is not cheerful.

If the first thing you're having Percy do when he meets a new person is start grinning and joking around, you have fundamentally misunderstood him. He is quiet, surly, has the look of a troublemaker, and if he's smiling at you, it's because a) he likes you and thinks of you as a friend or b) he is acting, probably to trick you into fucking up so he can fuck you up.

Nearly all of his commentary should be internal. He's a funny guy (in his thoughts) but he doesn't say much.

He's also fundamentally a very kind person, but he's going to express that through actions before words.

If anything, strangers looking at him should be thinking that he looks like his father: the same brooding look on his face, scowling - and then be surprised when he does something nice. He's got a serious case of resting bitch face.

And while I have your attention, here's my second least favorite Percy Jackson mischaracterization: he does not go around mouthing off to gods for no reason! Holy shit why does everyone have him doing that?!?

Yes he's stubborn and impertinent - but he's not stupid. His first approach every time when talking to a god is to think "ok Percy, how best to not make them mad at me and turn me into a horrible little insect?" The cases where he doesn't do that are outliers, even if they're memorable:

Meeting Dionysus for the first time: a) he's just found out he's a demigod and is grappling with the idea gods are even real; b) Mr. D is giving off serious alcoholic vibes that set off his childhood trauma from Gabe. And when Mr. D threatens him, he shuts up! He's more casual around Mr. D considering he's the god Percy is around the most, and even then Percy's go-to strategy with the guy is to avoid him whenever he can, and if he can't, to stay silent unless there's something really egregious that he disagrees with (example A being Tantalus.)

Meeting Ares on the lightning thief quest: Ares fucking whammied him with his rage aura, and even then Percy was doing his best to be polite while turning him down - because they were on a time sensitive quest!

Fighting Ares in LA: Ares straight up was part of the plot to frame Percy for the theft and drag him into Tartarus with the bolt. He was also preventing Percy from getting the helm and returning the bolt to Zeus - if Percy didn't fight him he was gonna die anyway, frankly from a number of options: Kronos rising, the gods going to war (and probably sniping each other's demigod children), Zeus!!!!, Ares himself to cover up his involvement, Hades!!!!, Poseidon for failing him, for all Percy knew (he'd never met the guy, and all he knew of the gods at that point was that they thought of demigods as tools in their arsenal, not children.) They were past the point of polite reconciliation by then, so Percy challenging him to a duel and luring him into the sea was his best option.

Hades: he is remarkably polite to Hades, even when he tries to imprison him in the underworld for the crime of nearly being sixteen, and Percy has to fight him to escape.

Hermes: he is also very polite to Hermes! Especially since a lot of their conversations involve Percy trying to delicately deliver harsh truths (about Luke) to the guy.

Artemis: pretty sure the only impertinent thing he does around Artemis is try to stand up for Bianca's right to choose her future, since he thinks she's being pressured into joining the hunt. And even that is just to advise her that she should find out what camp is like before swearing an eternal oath. And then when Bianca makes her decision, he shuts up and doesn't try to interfere with her life choices. He's very polite to Artemis! And also respects her a lot.

Apollo: lmao frankly Apollo is the one taking liberties in his relationship with Percy, considering they hardly even talk before Apollo shows up as a mortal during ToA (and by then Apollo has a massive hero crush on Percy, even he never says that explicitly). And even then, the pushiest Percy gets with him while Apollo is an immortal god capable of crushing him like a bug is when Apollo shows up to help with the quest to free Artemis, and that's pretty much just to ask for more information - which, I mean, is for the purposes of helping Apollo's beloved sister. Apollo would've helped more if he could've.

Poseidon: Percy is very respectful of his father, and even when Poseidon says he's his favorite son, Percy is wary of upsetting him. He's tells Poseidon his honest opinion as politely as he can, and pretty much always keeps in mind that it might get him smited - he just takes the risk because he honestly believes what he's saying is important. In any conversation they have, he lets Poseidon lead.

Zeus: Percy is afraid of Zeus, for good reason. I think he closest he comes to mouthing off is when he blurts out his impassioned argument in favor of letting Bessie live - which Zeus ultimately lets happen. Heck, I think the only person to tell Zeus he's wrong (other than Poseidon) is Jason?!? Put some respect on Jason's name. (Even if that did ultimately get him killed, imo.)

Like, I'm sure I missed some, because this is getting long - but the idea that Percy would get in a room with any immortal god and start mouthing off from the get-go is absurd. He has to be seriously pissed off to do that - and even then he's either going to a) temper what he says if he's trying to have a conversation or b) have already decided he's gotta fight his way out (see: Ares, Akhlys.) You know who is more likely to do that? ANNABETH. I love the girl but she absolutely lets her pride get in the way when she's talking to gods - to the point that more than once Percy has had to step in to try to smooth things over and cool things down. (See: Hermes, HERA)

[moonyskarma]

SHORT AND EXTRA SWEET . . . ask game

who said i can't answer these myself without being sent asks??

answering for my formula 1 dr ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

🍦  𑅕  TASTE  ＼  how do you leave traces of yourself? a signature scent? one of your interests? perhaps just your appearance is enough to leave a mark?

i'm quite fond of bleu de chanel... yes, okay, maybe it's a little basic, but i love it. except for that, lando always likes to point out that i always smell like cigarettes?? i literally barely smoke so idfk. multiple people have said my freckles are like constellations and that, along with my little pointy canines, are probably my defining characteristics as well

💭  𑅕  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE  ＼  what’s something you’ve always desperately wanted? something from a luxury brand? your childhood friend?

a fucking world championship. and then i got that! so... who knows. no, all jokes aside, you know what i really want? like, might give up my career if i don't get it? charles motherfucking leclerc. oh my god that man drives me INSANE. need him biblically.

☘️  𑅕  GOOD GRACES  ＼  who’s the person you trust the most? is it a family member? friend? maybe not a person, but a pet?

so there's a lot because the people closest to me are close for a reason. i'll start with my parents—definitely trust them with my life. my siblings too—my brother tom and my sister lily-rose. would die for them and vice versa! my best friends, genuinely, i trust them so much. but alright, if i had to choose one person... i suppose it'd have to be my dad.

🪚  𑅕  SHARPEST TOOL  ＼  what’s one of your most personal items? a gift from a loved one? something from a good time in your life?

i'm a sappy little sentimental motherfucker. me and my twin brother tom have these necklaces—leather cords with a little silver ring on it. it used to belong to my dad—he had both rings, but when me and tom were born he split the necklace and gave us each a ring. so it's really important to me and never take it off. that's not the only thing, because i keep literally every gift i've ever received, but that's the most important to me.

🎲  𑅕  COINCIDENCE  ＼  when was one of your luckiest moments? so lucky that you thought it a coincidence ..

monza. 2022. worst crash of my life. fighting max verstappen for third. i pushed, he pushed back, and we collided. i went spinning off the track and somehow hit the wall so hard the car fucking flipped??? genuinely do not understand how he just went "oh damn thats crazy" AND DROVE AWAY. LIKE I'M UPSIDE DOWN COME BACK??? anyways somehow i was fine?? like, obviously that was terrifying and i was so mad i almost started a brawl in the middle of the paddock but i was unharmed somehow.

🛏️  𑅕  BED CHEM  ＼  how do your express love in your relationship? physically? through gifts?

hehehe im gonna keep part of my answer to myself but i'm a very physical person. not even in a freaky way (ok maybe a little bit shh) but no i'm just a very touchy person. hugs. leaning on someone. holding hands. head on char's shoulder, stuff like that. that's also how he knows when i'm not doing well because i'll pull away and not be as touchy as usual. also, i'm a gift giver !! i'm a gift maker. i love giving gifts, i love receiving gifts. yeah.

☕️  𑅕  ESPRESSO  ＼  what in this reality gives you a boost of energy? maybe a special someone? your favorite activity? 

RACING. nothing can compare. nothing. ever. you're going so fucking fast you can barely move cuz the g-force, one little mistake could be lethal, the adrenaline.. i love racing so much.

✉️  𑅕  DUMB & POETIC  ＼  what about you juxtaposes another trait of your? do you hate the spolight but love to be appreciated? do you love taking care of people yet neglect yourself?

physical touch is my love language but if i'm not doing good i pull away from that and i'm not as touchy. also i'm kind of a hypocrite? i don't know im kind of a walking juxtaposition ...

🪵  𑅕  SLIM PICKINS  ＼  what’s something you regret settling for? did you know that there was something better out there for you? did you moan and bitch for a while or just accept it?

hm. there's been a few incidents but nothing that majorly stands out? just a bunch of little things with other drivers and stuff where i've been forced to take a penalty or agree to stop doing something when i disagree with it. (im looking at you max verstappen and the stewards)

🍼  𑅕  JUNO  ＼  are you good with kids? do they cling to you or run away in fear? do you even like kids in the first place?

I AM SO GOOD WITH KIDS i love kids so much yes. kids love me in return. i'm really good at making kids laugh? if you can't find me in the paddock it's probably because i'm playing hide and seek with another drivers kids. i want two kids.

🥠  𑅕  LIE TO GIRLS  ＼  what’s a lie someone has told to you? how did it affect you after you found out? how severe was it?

there's a few! that's always great. somebody (max verstappen is praying on my downfall i swear to god.) told me, when i had just signed with mercedes, that lewis hamilton thought i was annoying and i was genuinely devastated because he really is my idol and i wanted him to like me so badly. so that sort of led to me pushing myself harder and harder to try and win his approval? when the entire time he thought i was brilliant and never disliked me at all. that was great.

also the chapollo/lecdepp situationship era was NOT fun i'd just like to mention. me and char were so.. on and off.. for a while. idfk what the hell was up with him but he decided to pretend he wasn't in love with me for like, months, and i'd try and talk to him about it and he'd just deny everything like BITCH WE MADE OUT LIKE AN HOUR AGO WHAT DO YOU MEAN "we're just friends ollie." YOU CALLED ME CUORE MIO YESTERDAY.

🦷  𑅕  DON’T SMILE  ＼  who in this reality can make you laugh even at the worst times? do they purposely try to get a giggle out of you? is it completely unintentional?

daniel ricciardo. somebody needs to keep him away from me during more serious interviews because genuinely he will do the smallest thing, crack the most casual joke, and i'm over here falling off my fucking chair. like SHUT UP BROTHA IM TRYNA FOCUS.

🕰️  𑅕  15 MINUTES  ＼  how do you work in a time crunch? are you calm and composed or all over the place? when is a time where you’ve demonstrated this?

literally before every single race i'm internally tweaking but externally i look perfectly fine. "oh my god, apollo's so calm, how is he always so composed?" im not. im freaking out. there's always hella things to do in the few minutes right before the race starts—getting the car out onto the track, making sure everything works, that we're perfectly in our grid box, that everybody's clear, it's... stressful.

🪞  𑅕  COULDN’T MAKE IT ANY HARDER  ＼  what’s something about you that might push others away? is it the way you express yourself? how you talk? is their perception of you accurate?

i'm kind of mean? especially when i like someone? i'm kind of mean to charles. and everybody else. idfk guys. also i will not hesitate to call someone out and my PR team fucking HATESSS that. especially when i don't listen to them and say something anyway and then they have to do damage control. (sorry guys.) also x2 i'm kinda stubborn! my race engineer (claude) gets so pissed at that because he'll tell me to do something like overtake or let someone past and i just... won't.

💼  𑅕  BUSY WOMAN  ＼  what do you do for a living? how much time does it occupy in your life? have you always wanted to do this?

FORMULA ONE DRIVER. literally occupies all the time in my entire life, i'm in another country practically every week, but there's nothing i'd rather do. i was i think four? five, maybe? when i saw michael schumacher win the world championship and i just knew. i wanted to do that. i wanted to win. it wasn't until i was nine, seeing lewis hamilton win the 2008 world championship that i fully locked in and told my parents that hey, we need to move to london, i want to do that.

📰  𑅕  BAD REVIEWS  ＼  silly question! what’s your least favorite movie/show(s)? how did you come across this media? what about it is so bad? costuming? production? maybe the actors just suck.

the new lord of the rings thing—rings of power or whatever?? im not even the biggest LOTR fan but you know who is? lando fucking norris. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH BULLSHIT I HAD TO ENDURE LISTENING TO HIM RANT ABOUT THIS? don't let his little adhd gremlin personality fool you. he is a fucking nerd. idk i cant think of anything else tbh.

[beifong-brainrot]

The more I think about it, the more I think Bolin could easily embody that "human treated as a weapon/tool, who also believes that of themselves" tropes.

Like, it is not a stretch to say that Bolin has been "used" at least three times by antagonists of the show. By Kuvira, for his unique bending abilities and his good reputation, by Varrick for his looks, charisma and popularitu and by Eska for physical labour and her... um... you know I think I'll need to make another long post about Eska's weirdly intense attachment to Bolin.

In these relationships there is an onbious pattern, Bolin letting a more assertive/experienced person take the lead and order him around. Even when he's hurt or humiliated or frightened, he keeps his head down and does what is required of him until some big event (usually only vagely related to his current predicament ) allows him to "break free".

But without a decisive push, Bolin often appears unable or extremely unwilling to disobey the people he views as currently 'in control of him'. Often he's manipulated or pushed into something he's uncomfortable with, or explicity doesn't want to do, even hurting those he cares about.

Sometimes I wonder if even Bolin subconsciously sees himself as just a tool for others to wield and command. That it's easier to let others take charge than to think for himself, than to deal with the responsibility of governing himself. A responsibility he was never taught to handle.

This, as most analysis of Bolin ties back to his traumatic childhood and his codependent relationship with Mako.

Bolin grew up following Mako's lead. He never got to peel off from Mako, never got to slowly build up his independence, as children in more stable environments do. Because seperation from his brother would usually mean danger.

Hell, Mako often acts like a strict parent, since he had to step up to the role. However, often Mako tends to disregard Bolin's own agency and preferences in favour of Bolin's physical safety. Which isn't a bad thing, and Mako was doing as best he could, however this does obviously lead to Bolin being a little stunted in the decisionmaking department.

Bolin lacks agency, as a person. He relies on others leading him. One of the reasons him and Korra get along so well. She's headstrong and decisive and can easily direct him. This is probably why he also gravitated to Kuvira after Korra became incapacitated. He even explained to Mako that "Kuvira is basically just like Korra".

Bolin likes to be given a purpose and that purpose is given to hin by other people. You can see how lost he is when left to his own devices. I mean, Mako left him alone for like 2 days in B2 and Bolin immediately glued himself to Varrick like an abandoned baby koala. And the only times he was able to stand up to Mako, someone who often guides him, is when Bolin is, let's say, "wielded" by someone else (Varrick or Kuvira respectively). It's also fucking painful that whenever Bolin does branch off from Mako, he's always slapped back down, because the person who lead him "astray" turned out to be a villain.

Especially between seasons, and post B4 when team Avatar isn't together, isn't actively driven to do something, Bolin gets lost.

He's aimless in times of peace. He bounces from career to career, unable to focus on anything, because he's so used to tob being directed to fight, to literally survive. It's also important to note that he started training under Toza when he was like 13, no wonder all he can do is combat.

This, coupled with his lavabending being one of Bolin's most prominent skills (also note that lavabending is the only discipline of earthbending we've seen that can't easily be translated into building or art. Lavabending is pure destruction, at least in the form we're shown.).

Korra has her Avatar status, wisdom gained through adversity and her determination. Asami has her company, her ingenuity and drive. Mako has his detective work, and deductive skills. Bolin's just a good fighter and occasionally lifting the mood.

How is he meant to exist in times of peace?

Even though he is clearly uncomfortable with conflict.

Does Bolin have any interests? Things he likes to do other than eat? Other than perform and contort himself for other people to like him?

I thought the mind control plot from Rote could've started an arc of Bolin realising he can be more than a pawn or a tool, but alas, the comic was dissapointing on many fronts, including this one.

I know Bolin is supposed to be the imamture comic relief character, but he's very compelling and multifaceted to me. He has a lot of potential to be a groundbreaking character, however it doesn't seem like the creators are going that way. So um. That sucks.

Also this whole thought process came to me from listening to She was a bird, I was an arrow and thinking of weilin so that's the context of this analysis lol.

I'm gonna need to clear these thoughts up after a while, but hey, enjoy the silly Bolin rambles

[twofoursixohjuan]

D&D Character Asks

for fleshing out your characters and their backstories! fine for other OCs also, mostly.

Where do they come from? Are they a city kid, a rural farmer, from a group of isolated wanderers? Describe their childhood home.

Do they have hobbies? What do they like to do in their downtime? Do they practice anything creative?

What do they look like? Are they invested in maintaining their personal appearance? How do they like to dress?

What's their family like? Do they have a good relationship with them? Do they see them often or keep in touch?

Did they have a job or occupation before becoming an adventurer? How did they think their life would turn out? Did their loved ones/those around them expect something different?

Whose approval do they most value?

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? How do they feel about them?

Do they follow a god? Which one? Is their worship devout or desultory? If they don't, why not, in this setting?

Do they know their grandparents? Who are they?

Do they enjoy their adventuring lifestyle? What made them choose it? Why do they keep it up?

What would they say is the nicest place they've ever been?

How do they handle getting injured? What's their tolerance for discomfort like?

Do they scare easily? What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to them?

When was the time that they felt most relieved?

Do they have a good head for tactics? Can they coordinate a group? Are they a good leader?

Do they trust others readily or are they suspicious of their motives? Why or why not?

How do they style or maintain their hair? Do they spend much time on it? Is it important to them?

What is their most valued possession? What is their most expensive possession? Are they the same?

Is there anybody who really, really hates them? Why? Is there anyone they hate themselves?

Are they good at pretending to be something they're not? Do they try it a lot?

List five things they actively enjoy doing. Why do they like them? Are they good at them?

Is their first instinct to protect themselves or to protect others?

What's their social standing? How do they act around people socially below or above them? How would they react to a change in their social status?

Have they ever stolen before? Have they ever killed anyone?

Are they interested in sex or romance or both, and are they seeking it? Who are they attracted to? Do they already have a partner or partners?

What will they go out of their way to avoid?

Do they maintain their weapons, tools or armour well, or are they scruffy or battered? Did they get them new or used?

Do they prefer to fight, run or reason when threatened?

What is their dream home like?

Have they ever been tortured? Have they tortured anyone else? Would they, if they felt it necessary?

How do they handle being the centre of attention? Do they enjoy it? Are they good at speaking publically?

Do they prefer to travel alone or with others? What do they like about their party? What do they dislike?

What's their favourite colour? Food? Music? Animal? Item of clothing?

How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets? Have they had pets in the past?

What is the biggest lie they've ever told? Now name a time when they were most honest.

Is there anyone they feel indebted to? How do they feel about this? Do they intend to repay the debt?

[jazzystudios82]

Diabolik Lovers: An Angel's Embrace AU - Stella's relationships with the Tsukinami family 🥀

Stella Tsukinami is a character for an upcoming fanfic called "An Angel's Embrace" (Image above was made with this picrew).

Recently, I was made aware of the existence of Giesbach's brother Feltzein, who I believe was mentioned in the games once or twice. However, I don't know much about him and his personality, so he won't be included in this for now. Maybe one day in the future.

WARNING: Diabolik Lovers is a dark series with mature themes and topics. Discretion is advised. . . .

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Giesbach Tsukinami ♙

Giesbach is Stella's father and the previous First Blood King.

When Stella was born, Giesbach didn't really care for her. He simply saw her as a tool for him to use to strengthen his power. He even planned to have her marry one of his allies' sons to strengthen their armies.

Giesbach typically left Stella alone during her childhood, and while that hurt the young girl, she ended up believing that it was probably for the best after a few years passed.

Like her older brother Carla, Stella disliked Giesbach even more when he started to put the fate of their family and race in danger because of his rivalry with the Vampire King, Karlheinz.

What sealed Stella's hatred for her father was when she caught him abusing both Carla and their mother Krone behind closed doors, but she was too scared to make her presence known at the time due to her young age.

Stella was also aware of her father's tendencies to cheat, and whenever she encountered one of his mistresses, she'd either threaten them with a rifle or with a sword to scare them off.

When Giesbach locked Krone up in the dungeons because he believed her to be a traitor for seeking help from Karlheinz to end the Endzeit disease, Stella had constructed a series of tunnels under the castle so she could visit her mother without Giesbach's knowledge.

Years after he died, Stella has never once mourned his passing. If anything, she felt some relief that he was gone.

Krone Tsukinami 💍

(Image made in Picrew)

Krone is Stella's mother and the former First Blood Queen.

When Stella was born and Giesbach showed no interest in getting to know his daughter, Krone basically had to raise her daughter by herself, with some help from Carla and Menae every now and then (Shin would help too, but not when Krone asked him).

Their relationship could probably be described as that quote from the movie Marie Antoinette: "A boy would be the son of France, but you Marie-Therese shall be mine."

Krone would dress Stella up in cute, goofy dresses and decorate her hair with jeweled hair pins that her mother gifted her for when she'd have a daughter. Despite the fact that this would stop when Stella got older and became more of a "tomboy", she'd still like to do these activities with her mother.

Stella takes in a lot of pride that she looks like Krone, kind of like Kanato, Akira, and Sofia with their respective mothers, Cordelia and Angelica.

When Stella discovered that her father Giesbach was abusing her mother, Stella nearly went into a rage and wanted to fight him, but due to her fear of him and being too young and weak to challenge him, Stella could do nothing but help her mother heal from the injuries she had.

When Stella learned Krone had fell ill from the Endzeit disease, the young girl spent a majority of her time in her room making little trinkets and gifts for her mother and had Carla take them to her: this was due to her being forbidden to interact with Krone (her own mother's orders) as Krone feared that Stella could catch the illness from her.

Stella also tried to look up possible solutions to help her mother overcome her illness.

Like her older brothers, Stella's memories of her parents and Menae were wiped away by magic. However, she had small bits and pieces of her mother and aunt, causing her to wonder who they were and what they meant to her.

Menae 💎

(Image made with this Picrew)

Menae is Stella's aunt through her mother, Krone.

Stella's aunt Menae was like a secondary mother to her. Since she helped her sister Krone with raising Stella, Stella saw Menae as more of like a second parent than an aunt.

Like with her mother, Stella also liked to play dress up games with Menae.

Whenever Menae visited the castle, she'd keep a younger Stella away from Giesbach whenever he got physical with both Krone and Carla.

During times when Stella played around with her jewelry, Menae promised Stella that she could have her emerald pendant when she got older.

After Krone was thrown in the castle's dungeons by Giesbach and labeled a "traitor", Menae came over more often and tried to look after her niece and nephews.

When Stella and her brothers lost their memories of what happened to their parents and Menae and who they were, Stella tried to figure out who Menae was and how she was important to the First Bloods.

Stella was the only one to consider the possibility that Menae wasn't a traitor to the founder's like her brother's did when they lost their memories.

When Stella and her brothers regained their memories through Menae's emerald pendant, Stella had mourned her and her mother Krone's deaths and made them gravestones back at the Tsukinami castle. She holds onto Menae's pendant for safekeeping.

Carla Tsukinami 👑

Carla is Stella's older brother and the current First Blood King.

Despite being her older brother, Carla is basically a father figure to Stella as he was more involved in her upbringing than their father Giesbach.

Unlike Giesbach, Carla was there for nearly every major life moment for Stella: he was there for her first steps, first words, etc. She even called him "papa" on accident once.

He taught Stella what it means to be a First Blood, and why she should take pride in that.

When they were younger, Carla was a bit anxious when their wolf familiars attempted to play games with Stella, since he wasn't sure if they could be gentle with her.

Taught Stella how to use magic and sword fight.

Carla often scolds Stella when he catches her trying to sneak snacks to the wolves.

Carla also did his best to dissuade their father Giesbach from trying make Stella have an arranged marriage, as he didn't believe that any man out there was worthy of her and because he thought Stella was too young.

When Carla got Endzeit, he did his best to make sure that he didn't infect both Shin and Stella with the disease and that they never found out as he didn't want them to see him as weak or for them to worry.

He finds Stella's taste in music, art, and movies to be a bit odd.

Carla does think that it's cute when Stella sleeps with their wolves, but he would never openly admit it.

Carla is similar to Reiji and Ruki when it comes to their younger siblings.

Shin Tsukinami 🐺

Shin is Stella's second older brother.

When Shin first learned of his and Carla's mother Krone being pregnant, he wasn't very excited to get a sibling as he thought babies were loud and smelly. However, when Shin managed to meet Stella, he changed his mind about her, but only a little bit.

It wasn't until when Stella got older and showed similar personality traits was when Shin started to like Stella more.

Like how Carla taught Stella how to use magic and how to sword fight, Shin taught Stella how to use guns and how to shape shift, specifically with her wolf form.

Unlike Carla and Stella, Shin was never the wiser that Giesbach was a terrible individual and that he abused his mother, older brother, and ignored his little sister as Giesbach only showed Shin his good side. Stella was aware of their father's clear favoritism, though she didn't blame Shin for it. . . .for a while anyway.

When Shin lost his eye during a battle, Stella had made him a 'get well' care package and even attempted to make him a new artificial eye. She never managed to make it as they (probably) happened around the time the three of them went under the curse.

Shin is a bit similar to Ayato and Kou when it comes to their younger siblings.

Both of them like to run around in their wolf forms and run around in the woods.

Gif above is not mine (I found it on Pinterest).

Whew! Another one done!

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