#not my best writing but meh. I'll post it anyways

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

Previous one

Day 2 of @sangyaoweek

Birds

“Who's there?” hissed the person, suspiciously looking around. Nie Huaisang debated whether it would be a good idea to show himself, or not, but he decided to do it. Taking a deep breath, he made sure he looked as harmless as he could be (which was a lot. Nobody who looked at him could imagine he was quite adept at hand-to-hand combat. Not Nie good, of course, but… Not going there.), and holding out his hands to show himself unarmed, he stepped out from his hiding place.

“Who are you?” A suspicious question came from the other person. Nie Huaisang smiled, as if it was his da-ge, trying to make him pay attention to the boring meeting with the other clan heads. He was nothing, but a pretty little airhead. Just a silly thing lost in the forest.

“This one is Hua Sang. Could the young master tell this one how to get to the nearest city? It seems this one turned the wrong way somewhere.”

The person eyed Nie Huaisang suspiciously, but it seemed he did not deemed him dangerous.

“Meng Yao,” the person introduced himself. He hesitated, assessing Nie Huaisang, then softened. “This one is going to Lanling. You can come with me.”

Lanling.

Jin Guangshan, eww. But it is as good a place as any to hide. And Nie Mingjue - if he would try to find him - would never think of searching for him at the Jins’.

After a not-so-careful consideration, Nie Huaisang slightly bowed his head in thanks. Out of all the options, this was one. Why not take it?

The first few sichens of their journey was spent quietly. Sometimes Nie Huaisang identified the birds in their vicinity, sometimes Meng Yao advised to take a little break, but overall it was quiet. Calm. Nothing like the night hunts his da-ge forced him to go on.

Slowly, it started to get darker in the dense forest. They had no means to light something, so they had to stop before one of them fell and broke a bone. They settled down in an alcove among the trees, their makeshift camp hidden by the shadows of the forest.

They managed to collect water and berries during their journey, and while they needed to find something more fulfilling for the next day, it was enough for dinner.

They chatted amicable for a while, when Nie Huaisang couldn't hold his question back anymore. “Lanling, huh? Is there any reason for going there, or…?”

Meng Yao was silent for a while. “Just… opportunities. A chance to be something more than what I had been before.”

“I can understand that,” Nie Huaisang nodded in the darkness, allowing the other to keep his secrets. It wasn't like he wanted to talk about his past either. “I'm also looking for opportunities. Except for I don't want to be something more, just something else. No grand plans for me, just to be able to live my life.”

Meng Yao hummed, “Don't you have any dreams or aspirations?”

An involuntary chuckle left Nie Huaisang's mouth. Dreams? Aspirations? Of course he had those! But… whatever happened, he would be fine with it. Anything except for being the Disappointment of Qinghe Nie.

“This lowly one does not have those.” Or, more like, he had too many of those.

Meng Yao stayed silent. Even though it was dark, it felt as if he was studying Nie Huaisang, wanting to see into his soul to know all of his secrets, to unveil the layers of lies or deceptions. Finally, he sighed, accepting Nie Huaisang's words.

And that was that.

Nie Huaisang never met anybody who just left something they wanted to know alone. Not his big brother, not the clan members, not even Lan Xichen and his menace of a brother could leave something alone. It was… it was unique. Refreshing.

Nie Huaisang liked that.

The next few days as they continued walking through the forest, fighting against bandits and searching for water and food, they talked. Well, Nie Huaisang talked, chattering about anything and nothing at all, like his beloved birds tended to do. Sometimes Meng Yao answered, sometimes he did not. Sometimes they exchanged stories - splattered with lies on both sides -, and even though they knew the other was not telling the whole truth, they started to feel something towards each other. Friendship, maybe. Camaraderie, possibly. Sympathy, definitely.

It was absurd. It was madness. Nie Mingjue would have bullied Nie Huaisang for trusting in a lying stranger. But he was not there. Nie Huaisang was.

And he trusted his instincts. Just as he had his own reasons, Meng Yao must have had his own reasons for not telling everything about himself, and Nie Huaisang would honor that. He knew he could rely on his new friend, and that was enough.

Next

[urmultideadfandomperson]

The Specialists as Your Boyfriend

Fandom(s): Winx Club

Pairing(s): Red Fountain X Reader

Character(s): Sky, Brandon, Riven, Timmy, Helia

Genre(s): Fluff

Writing Style: Headcanons

Summary: A few headcanons of the Red Fountain Specialists as your boyfriend.

Warning(s): None

Requested by: None

Note: Hello! It's been a while since I wrote some headcanons like these. And yes, I joined the Winx Club fandom recently because I just finished Season One! It feels good to go back in track! I apologize for my lack of posts nowadays, but I'll try my best to feed you some content! Enjoy your read!

Sky

I know a lot of people find him as 'meh' because he is sort of a basic blonde, I can agree

But for me, he's super sexy, I cannot. This prince completely stole my heart because of his basic personality (yes, I'm a basic bitch too)

Anyway, Sky is definitely a sweetheart, already seen at how he treats Bloom in the first season

But don't forget he's the prince of Erakylon, so he's definitely rich

Sky will pamper you with so much love and affection

Whether if you're royalty or not, or if you're a fairy or an earthling, this man will still love you

Hand kisses are a MUST

Brandon

Oh boy. This suave flirt

Because Brandon is Brandon, he will obviously love teasing and flirting with you.

But that doesn't mean he wouldn't flirt with the other girls in Magix

As Prince Sky's squire, he obviously knows how to defend you. He may or may not try to impress you that way

He will definitely bring you to dates in Magix. Wherever you want to go, he will come with you

He may be flirtatious to you and other girls, but I assure you that Brandon is loyal. How did he become Sky's squire if he wasn't a loyal servant to him?

And for me, I have a feeling he will give golden retriever vibes

Riven

THIS MAN IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Riven is really awkward and closed off in the beginning of your relationship. But as time goes by, he becomes comfortable

He isn't the best guy in words of affirmation, but the way he helps you out when you need it is always there. It's his way of loving you

This man actually has the best and warmest hugs

It's a guilty pleasure of his in which you try to calm him whenever he is about to go maniac over someone or something

Surprisingly very cuddly in private

Riven also wants you to stay in Red Fountain often so you can watch him spar with the other Specialists

Timmy

Similar to Riven, he is firstly awkward in the start of relationships (less awkward than the latter, however).

He loves to go to the library with you to study for exams and such

When he has new things to share, the first person Timmy will approach is you because he knows you will listen

Timmy is actually really blushy, and this is evident whenever you help him with his glasses

He isn't really into physical contact, but he does excel in quality time. He loves your presence with him

You're his assistant during calculations and he loves your cooperation as a duo

Timmy loves to gift you some new items and he likes to impress you with his logical thinking

Helia

Ah yes, the hottest guy to ever exist in Red Fountain of the Magix Realm

Helia loves to write poems and short stories for you

Since it is often seen that he loves to draw, he would secretly draw you in his sketchbook

Expect bouquets of flowers from him once in a week

It may or may not be expected, but Helia loves to say some pickup lines. These pickup lines are either cheesy or romantic

You are the only person he allows to braid his hair, so be thankful

Hand kisses are a MUST 2.0

[hikarielizabethbloom]

Hey, I just wanted to tell you that in my opinion, you have nothing to apologize for because you did nothing wrong but expressing your POV. I'm sorry I do it anonymously, it feels wrong because until now I was never afraid of voicing my opinions... but these days it feels like saying anything in relation with this subject could be taken as "taking a side", which is weird. It feels like, you know... cold war lol !

I've recently noticed a tendency to, instead of directly commenting an opinion x user disagrees with, opening another post to criticize the opinion in question. Is it fear to confront the person who said the 'controversial' opinion ? Is it a way to say "I have a different opinion but I won't discuss it ?" (which is fair, sometimes I want to say things I feel without having someone arguing with me over it). It's very passive agressive, and it makes a certain number of fellow fans very uncomfortable. That's what I gathered from the recent discussions I had in private, anyway.

It's just not within the Haladriel fandom, it's in the entire TROP fandom ! Some people don't dare to speak about Celeborn because they're scared that someone will react by posting an agressive take on him. Recently, there was a fight about Adar being a good guy or a bad guy, fans were mocked (again, never in the face but in parallel posts) because they thought that maybe Sauron could be healed with Nenya, etc. Myself I used to post quite frequently, now I just reblog stuff because I think that if I say something that will sound controversial, maybe my opinion will be attacked in another post ! even if my name is not mentioned I'll know it's about what I said. That's not what I call a safe environment.

I don't want to see Tumblr turn into Twitter and Reddit where people will fight and throw insults at each other over fiction, but I'm a bit worried regarding where this passive agressive attitude will lead the Haladriel fandom and even the TROP fandom at large, to be honest.

There's not a day where I don't dread to open the Haladriel/Saurondriel tags and find post opened by shippers who criticize how other shippers see their ships. We don't need the antis anymore, it seems, we seem to become very good at destroying ourselves. It makes me very sad because pre 2x08 and even a couple of weeks post 2x08, the Haladriel tags were filled mostly with positivity, good fun and awesome metas. Now I only see dick contests : "my opinion is better than yours." "No, mine is better than yours and you have no media literacy if you think differently !".

I'm sorry for weighing down with this, but it had to come out of my chest and I don't feel safe anymore saying all this on my blog.

Feel free to ignore this message if you just want to put it behind you, by the way, or if you feel it will make things worse... It's really not my intention to do more damages. Or if you want, just leave a post on your blog saying "I got your message" and anything you want to add, I'll be okay with that...

Thank you for reading me <3

I'm sorry anon you feel this way and I'm sorry you felt the need to stay anonymous to protect yourself. This isn't the inquisition. This is fandom space and you should feel safe enough to express your opinions without fear of taking side. Again, this isn't a war. There are no sides and no wrong takes, no matter what some fans believe.

And yes, I decided to speak up because after a couple of posts I've made, I started to notice posts from other Tumblr users that alluded to things I said. Even from a blog I had blocked. And it got me thinking. And it pissed me off a little.

I'm usually chill. Even when I don't agree with some takes, I don't feel the need to write a long ass essay on how the other's interpretation is bad while mine is progressive, feminist, smart, supported by canon, text, my best friend, my butcher... I just read the post, think 'meh, that's bs', scroll and go on with my life.

I know that for some people that's impossible. I know that some have this need for validation. But really, I can understand (sometimes, not always) this crave for queer relationships. But when the ship involves a hot white man (villain) and hot white woman (heroine), there's really not need for validation, right? History of television validates you.

And yes, things changed by the end of season 2. New waves of fans sadly always mean more assholes. And sometimes those assholes are popular. That's it. The only thing I can do is to call out this anti-fun/fan behavior and try to create a safer space.

So, I'm glad for your message. And if you are afraid to speak up I can do it for you. I've got broad shoulders and no desire to be popular 😂

[karaspal]

Hello! I saw that you're a Supergirl fan and I'm trying to read some of her books. Is Supergirl 2016 a good representation of the character?

not really, no. at least not the initial one. it gets good once marc andreyko starts writing it. then bad again once he is off the book.

the rebirth series took a lot of inspiration from cbs supergirl and imo the show got a lot better once it moved to cw. kara in the first 20 issues of the rebirth series is portrayed as less confident and more timid, and that's not really how she is. the comics also took a lot of its elements from the show, even if it didn't make sense to do that. i love and adore the supergirl show and kara in it, yet i hate the rebirth run, so even if you are a fan of cw!kara, i wouldn't recommend the run.

but fear not, i'll give you some recs. here is a full reading order if you want to read everything she's been in. if not, here is a smaller reading guide:

supergirl (2011) is a great start. it has some meh stuff, like kara's costume, which was not great, but you get used to it. i'd recommend the run as a whole (minus the boring crossovers), but if you don't want to read it all, the first arc with the world killers (#1 - 7), red daughter of krypton (#28 - 33, but mind you, it crosses over with "red lanterns". reading order for the full story you can find in the link i gave above. just scroll a bit, it's under the 52 section) and crucible (#36 - 40) were the best arcs.

after that, i'd recommend jumping right to marc andreyko's run - supergirl (2016): #21 - 33. before that, you do need to read man of steel (2018) for context.

next comes supergirl: woman of tomorrow. it's the best supergirl story you can find and one of the best superhero stories in general.

despite how little pkj got to write kara during his time on action comics, i'd still recommend checking it out because he understands her character very well - action comics annual 2021 (a possible future for kara and the house of el); action comics (2016): #1044 - 1049 (back up stories); action comics (2016): #1051 - 1060 + annual 2023. mind you, she has a supporting role in this story, not a main one.

after that, she had a one-shot team-up with the martian manhunter action comics: doomsday special (2023) which was good.

she is currently a main character in the house of brainiac story and i like the way she is written there.

if you're willing to read comics from the previous era, the run sterling gates and jamal igle did is considered a classic. it's supergirl (2005): #34 - 59. it does, however, cross over a lot with the new krypton arc that was happening at the time. full reading order you can find in the reading guide i linked.

and if you're willing to go pre-crisis, she had two solo runs. one was in 1974 - supergirl (1974), and the other - 1982 - supergirl (1982). she also had stories in various dc comics. an era i absolutely love is when she was an actress in new york - the superman family (1974): 208 - 222.

and comics you should stay away from, in my opinion - supergirl: being super and last year's supergirl special #1. both are written by mariko tamaki and i just don't vibe with her kara. another one is kara's first appearances post-crsis. anything kara written by joe kelly and jeph loeb is a big no-no.

anyways, sorry for the long answer lol. happy reading.

[madamefist]

"7- Poor Buttercup! My heart broke for her in this chapter! 😢

7 - She's going through it.. You wait till the next chapter 🫠😬"

"8- Butch is the best boyfriend Buttercup could ever asked for! 😭

8 - 😬😬😬"

"you're all going to hate me after I post this next chapter 😬 Like chapter 8 is.. I'll just say sorry now."

...Oh my God... BRICK!!! DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

Lol! Can't wait to see how you are gonna break my heart to pieces! xD 🥲

And honestly, don't worry too much. We're not going to hate you. I actually started caring about the greens (especially Buttercup) when they get involved in some heavy shit like this. I only read your fanfic for the Reds, I never cared about the Greens nor the Blues (especially the Blues). And that's not because you didn't write them well, it's just that they always were meh to me. xD

But the last chapter you did really made me care about Buttercup and sympathize with her. So, what you're doing is a good thing for her character (even though it was so painful to read! xD 😭).

So, don't worry and do what you do best. 🙂

And this is an Ask, so I should ask you something! 🤣: So, you said you don't know when you will update after chapter 8. Does that mean chapter 9 is not written yet? Because I remember you saying you had written until chapter 11.

Another question: When exactly do you think you will release chapter 8?

Hi! Love to hear you've become more invested in the greens! They're a close second to the reds for me - it's the blues I struggle with, which I think is clear in my writing. I do need to work on it. But yeah I'm with you, they reel me in the least too, however I want to get better at writing them in a way that does peak my own interests let alone anyone elses! Yeah I have written up to chapter 12 I do believe.. I am not 100 percent on that though as I haven't actually sat down & looked at any of my writing in a long time. I'm tackling tumblr first, then ao3 & ff.net! Then I'm going to look at updating. I'll be updating Prophecy first. I can't give you an actual date, or any idea of when it will be, how soon it will come etc.. But it will be soon. As I said in my previous response, things have been tough personally for me at the moment, but I'm trying to find my joy again & one of the ways I am doing that is to try and get back into writing. I miss it deeply. I'll try to be a little more forthcoming with general updates from here on out anyway. Thanks for sticking around regardless! MF

[frantic-fuck]

Snakelet - Chapter 5 (cont'd)

@augusnippets Day 8 - Protective Caretaker, with an undertone of Found Family

Word count: 518

Masterpost

Content: Post-torture injury, implied lab whump, caretaker doing their best for whumpee's sake, when the caretaker is takered care of

Honestly I just wanted to follow the last snippet up bc I like writing Zop lmao

~

Seeing as Janessa's 'forgotten' to free Zop from the operating table, they do their best to make themself comfortable — not an easy task in her presence, even without restraints. "And just how d'ye plan on fixin' him up, eh?"

She looks at them like they're an idiot. So, the same as she always does. "I'll commission a healer, and he'll be good as new."

"D'ye really think that's it?! He's bein' tortured, for fuck's sake! Get ye the best healer in the world, it's not gonna fix his mental scars!"

"Of course not. That's your job." She boops them on the snout, hurriedly drawing her hand back when they snap their jaws with the full intention to bite her finger off. ...Probably why she's left them tied down. "I expect that he'll be perfectly capable of going back to normal within... a week, let's say. I'm sure you can manage that. You want him obedient as much as I do."

"Oh, fuck off. We both know yer not gonna ruin yer little deal over somethin' out of his hands. Yer damn lucky he'll let this slide." They flex their leg, instantly regretting it when agony washes over them anew.

"Fine. Then I'll take it out on him instead. I'm sure he'll have plenty of fun new buttons to push. Is that better for you, Zop?"

They snarl, refusing to admit defeat outright. "Fuck you. Never said I wasn't gonna try. I'm used to fixin' yer mess, anyway."

"This is not my mess."

"Don't ye start, it's yer fuckin' fault he—"

With narrowed eyes, Janessa dismisses them, responding from outside the gem as Zop collapses into Maya.

"Clearly, he didn't adequately salvage your mental capabilities. We'll have a discussion about that when he returns."

"Meh meh meh, I'm a little bitch, I am." Zop sneers weakly, more concerned with the blood pouring down their leg. "Ye think we can clean this up? Don't want him fussin' over me when he gets back."

"...Let us worry about that after we stop the bleeding, yes?"

"Aye, right. Help me there, will ye?"

With Maya's help, Zop staggers to the crack in the floor, which they've made considerably wider this past week. Solstice places a hoof on the crack and faer horn on Zop, and slowly but surely, their leg closes up.

They carefully flex it and suck in a pained breath. Still hurts like a bitch, but at least the blood's staying inside.

"Good enough. Now I can—"

"Sit down, is what I assume you are going to say, correct?"

Zop squints at Maya, who stares back up at them, and eventually sighs in defeat. "'Course. Don't wanna open it back up, anyway."

Satisfied, she helps them lie down comfortably on the jouch while Solstice addresses the other janimals about 'jleaning jhe jlood.' They prop their leg up on the jouch's arm with a groan.

"Dunno how he manages to deal with her all the time."

"She does not stab him, for one."

Maya plops her furry head on Zop's chest, and they stroke her soft, denim fur.

"Aye. Lucky me."

[sofoulandfairaday]

heyyy i’m new to bellamort and i think they’ve become my otp already thanks to you,

what are your favourite recs? mostly sweet, however much they can be and some spicy ones.

thank you!!!

Anon, this comment made me GIGGLE like an idiot, huge grin on my face - thank you thank you thank you so much. This is the best compliment I’ve ever gotten! It literally means the world.

With that being said - and this goes for the other people in my inbox asking for recs - I’m not the best person to ask. Firstly, I don’t read that much fanfic (hi, med student running on virtually no sleep here) and I’m always behind on reviews (fanfiction is meant to be enjoyed from my laptop with a cup of tea and no one in the house so i can weep/shriek/pace etc). Secondly, I suck at keeping track of what I read.

Thirdly, your ask in particular is virtually impossible because I live for the grief. I lap up angst like a kitten does milk.

Sweetness… meh. (Except of course when I cry and moan about the fact that I need to stop reading for the day because a fanfic literally made my heart ache. I'm telling you, I suffer more for these two than I do my irl friends and that says something about me.)

Anyway, this is what I’ll do. I’ll link some of my favourite authors (in English, if you want Italian recs just ask and I will deliver) and I’ll leave you to browse their pages and see what speaks to you. These are just off the top of my head, and on Tumblr and around Ao3 (if you know how to filter), you'll find other great ones!

(If I forget someone, or if anyone who reads *is* a Bellamort author, feel free to tag them/yourself in this post, or in a reblog.)

@star-named-riddle - Nefaria_Black @saintsenara - Asenora @deslea - deslea (where are you, girl, I need you) Abigail Belle (ex Gamma Orionis) (see above) meanwhiletimely (see above) Also, there's this masterpiece by @metalomagnetic featuring Rodolphus which GHHHHHHHH. Is all I'll say. Screaming, crying, hollering, etc etc etc. (There's also this masterpiece by the same author but even looking it up to link it made me shake and I won't speak of it until I have processed my grief because I have people to see later in the day and I cannot be dazed or aching or in tears or shellshocked by the rawness of the writing etc etc etc)

And finally, the most recommended (and popular, I think) Bellamort fanfiction ever, which I admit I've never read in full (I know, I know, believe me when I say I have no time/mental fortitude) which is of course Surrogate.

They are all absolutely brilliant for reasons I wish I could get into right now (they deserve proper recs, this hasty reply does not do them justice). They all present different but equally fascinating versions of my characters.

Unfortunately, none of them are really saccharine/fluffy. There is softness but it's always bittersweet in most of them. WHICH IS HOW I LIKE IT MUAHAHHAA- coff coff.

Happy reading! :)

[legionofpotatoes]

For real, your take on Mando season 3 is completely on point. But I get not feeling able to say it out loud without a disclaimer before, after, and in the tags to keep from getting shouted at in the reblogs. It's just the messed up nature of being in the SW fandom on Tumblr. Speaking your mind on your own blog is an invitation for buffoonery.

If I were completely honestly, I'm not in the least shocked that's what we got. I've long held the opinion that the worst part about the fandom is the fan opinions and expectations out of a new series, and the expectation that a formula for a show won't change, or that a character will maintain one set mentality/trope while simultaneously offering new, completely different story arcs. It isn't necessarily impossible to pull off, but it takes very careful planning and execution. And, unfortunately, that has never been a strength in this franchise, even before Disney ownership.

For most shows, it's the season 5 slump. After 5 seasons, all the flavor is gone and any additional seasons are painfully rehashed at best. For all the corporate financial squeezing that's been done to Mando since the beginning of the show to wring out revenue like its a wet washcloth, it really tracks that were in this place after only 3 seasons.

IMO the only thing that's going to save Andor is the fact that the end of the story has already been told in Rogue One and its confirmed that season 2 will end at that point of the timeline. If it was going to be a 3+ season show, I suspect we'd see the same treatment.

Anyway, I'll stop flapping my gums in your ask box. Your hot take encapsulated what felt off about this season to me. I couldn't put words to it, but it just felt....meh.

I just disable reblogs and try not to tag it in an inflammatory way, my gripes are genuinely like. basic semiotics and story sense, I'm not going after anyone's childhood or feel-goodness. This is all me-problems and me-expectations with a massive machine of commerce that will never give a shit lmao

I too wrote a couple of posts back in s2 days expecting something of this sort going forward after the weirdly presumptuous cameo-baiting of s2 and whatever in the goddamn hell boba fett did with its mando tie-ins, but an entire season of tirespinning sure was a surprising choice. I think writing for TV is fundamentally different than writing for film, so I didn't really see a clear parallel of incompetence within the franchise; and especially with season 1 being so solid in balancing both the overarching and the episodic stuff I felt like they had a neat ramp to milk a decently long character piece out of.

But I can't help but feel like my main problem with the disney/abrams/filoni/favreau era of star wars is its irrationally strong love for the aesthetic. it blinds them to good choices that will then make for interesting stories. gently deradicalizing, humanizing, and then literally AND figuratively getting din out of his shell so he could open up to a child's love could be such an effective, simple to parse, and wholesome core to structure the series around, but that would upend the aesthetic of their cowboy-ass romp a bit too fast and have an end and an identity and all that non-marketing friendly stuff. so they keep withholding his psyche, they keep giving then taking clear communication tools away from grogu, they keep teasing their bond but never outright stating it (I cannot believe after 3 seasons he still hasn't just looked at the baby and directly confessed he loved him), so they can keep bumping those goalposts back and forth while pretending it's progress. because they are in love with the aesthetic.

again, this is my main problem, I don't see this as a problem writ large or even something that represents a wrong way to do star wars. who the hell even knows how you treat a franchise that large at this point, what importance you assign to aesthetic vs. story, all that jazz. I don't know. they're the ones with the analytics data, so they definitely know better. and maybe that's the saddest part

[polifandom]

no one's doing it so fine, i'll take one for the team. here's my completely unprompted analysis of lemonade mouth (because i rewatched it recently and saw it in a new light):

1. mo ending up with scott is hinted from the start.

i watched this movie as a kid first, so i was perpetually shocked when mo didn't end up with charlie. but watching it as an adult, i can tell it was quite the opposite. firstly, mo and scott's relationship has more focus than even wen and olivia's (which are both main characters). secondly, there's that halloween bash scene – mo is playing, and the camera shows scott looking at her proud and in love. thirdly, scott was always going to have a redemption arc, especially considering that the breakup was a lie set up by his friend.

do i like the guy? meh, i think he's really toxic in the beginning and mo deserves better, but mo was always undoubtely staying with him.

2. charlie is kind of a dick.

that was something i never thought of as a kid, but the way he reacted to mo's rejection? BIGGEST RED FLAG!!!! telling mo never liked the song anyway??? man, go to hell!

also, my man hasn't got an opinion for himself. fuck the fact that theres 3 other people in the band and they're all his friends; if mo doesn't wanna do it, he doesn't either.

3. wen was not overreacting about sydney.

dude, i'd be mad too if my dad dated someone who was 29 and started prioritizing her plus proposed to her and had her move in without even telling me??? like yeah, him being mad is valid.

4. wen and stella are best friends.

it goes by unnoticed if you're not paying close attention, but they're the first ones to want there to be the band. they go together to the principal about the removal of Mel's, and wen spends the whole time trying to help stella/translate what she's saying into a sweet tone. the both of them talk together with the rest of the band about playing in the pizza place. in the halloween bash, they keep throwing each other the microphone.

if you pay attention, they're doing stuff together during most of the movie.

5. stella is canonically gay.

disney has a formula for their DCOMs, where in it every main character always ends up with someone or the prospect of someone (a love interest). take high school musical as example, there's gabriella and troy, chad and taylor, sharpay and (love interest) keze, and the completely outrageous hinted ryan and kelsi (thats a gay man and a lesbian woman). do i think chad and ryan are actually together? yes i do, but that's not what this post is about. the message is, the entire core 6 (troy, gabriella, taylor, chad, sharpay and ryan) end up with love interests, meanwhile in lemonade mouth everyone BUT stella has one (olivia and wen, mo and scott, charlie and the blonde girl).

why, you ask me? oh well, because they couldn't pair up stella with a woman in 2011 disney channel and wouldn't pair her up with a man. so that was the director's way of saying: yeah, stella is a lesbian.

6. the entire movie is a letter to olivia's dad.

my kid brain never picked that up, but it's olivia's narration that guides the movie as she writes to her dad about how her band came to be.

now onto some opinions:

this is the best DCOM ever and you can't change my mind.

olivia is my baby girl and i will always stand by my queen bridgit mendler.

mudslide crush is wack ass name but i fucking love it.

i wish there were more fanfics about this movie :(

[lenteur]

random thoughts about tell me that you love me, episode twelve

(the rest is under the cut because i'm worried about your eyes having to read ALL OF THAT and this post might contain spoilers)

Not even two minutes into the episode and a lot has already happened. Mo eun was adopted. I did not expect that. At all!

When the mom said "I don't want our daughter to become a child too mature for her age to open up to her mom" I had to take a moment because that hit close to home. I'm sure it has happened to way too many children but when something traumatic (no matter what it is) happens, children have a tendency to keep things to themselves. It's like they "magically" become adults and they want to protect those around them by not sharing what's bothering them. I haven't read any study on this topic so please take what I'm saying with a grain of salt (I'm only talking from experience) but children have this kind of sixth sense where they know when something extremely serious is happening so they begin acting like adults when it shouldn't be the case. The need to protect those around them is even bigger when it involves their family. A child doesn't want their mom and dad to be sad so they'll try their best to protect them even though they (the kid) shouldn't do that. I'm having a hard time trying to explain this because my emotions are getting the best of me as I'm writing this. I got emotional watching this drama, but that sentence alone has unlocked something deep in me 💔

I'm just confused as to why do hun would admit to stalking seo kyung and burning the college building just like that. He might have heard the mysterious woman say it was him on the phone but those are just rumors. As far as we know, the real culprit hasn't been arrested? Idk man I'm just meh about this revelation. It feels rushed...

Do hun judging seo kyung for still having feelings for jin woo when he's the one who has stalked his crush and burnt a building because of her. He should look at himself in the mirror before making such comments about others.

Seeing the scene of seo kyung being stalked made me think back on her and jin woo's breakup. When she got home after finding she was actually being stalked, her first instinct was to call jin woo to be reassured. But then, she realised she wouldn't be able to hear his voice (because he's deaf). It's moments like these that must have been the cause of their breakup. Of course, she'd want to be reassured by her boyfriend when such a traumatic event happens. Hearing his voice would have helped a lot. But mostly, being able to vent or cry (whether on the phone or face to face) must have been the best solution to appease her heart. Unfortunately, she couldn't do any of that with jin woo. While it could be weird to some people that she'd break up with him because of his disability (she has a deaf father so she should know what a relationship with someone that is deaf is like), I can kind of understand why she did it. She was still young at the time (early 20s I assume) and I think her enthusiasm and him (maybe?) being her first love, seo kyung let her heart make the decision of being in a relationship with jin woo. It's only several months later that the more rational part of her took over and made her realise what a relationship with a deaf man entails. I think it's important to see that even though someone is related to a disabled person, that doesn't mean said someone will understand everything about their disabled partner and things will flow easily. Even though two people have the same disability that doesn't mean the disability will have the same impact on them. There are varying degrees of disability (if I can call it that). What I'm trying to say is sure seo kyung has "some experience" with deaf people because of her father but that doesn't mean the relationship with jin woo was easy, far from that. When feelings are involved, everything gets even more complicated. Anyway, I'll stop here because I'm only eight minutes into the episodes lol

Linking to the previous comment I made, we see mo eun facing the same struggle as seo kyung. She's having a hard time communicating with him because of his disability. She's going through stuff yet she can't directly tell him because she has to think about it and then start to sign to him or text him. It can feel lonely because she's living something while he has no idea what's happening. I wonder how she'll handle that obstacle. We've obviously seen how seo kyung decided to end things between her and jin woo. I don't want that to happen to the main couple but I can't help but wonder what the consequences of that will be. It's a lot to carry on one's shoulder. Mo eun is learning things about jin woo's past from other people. Things that are serious. Up until now she's always let him talk about himself at HIS own pace, she never pushed him to admit stuff. But now I feel like she might try and push him a bit more because there's a lot of stuff she doesn't know about.

On a side note, ji yu and ki hyun are such great friends. They're there for mo eun and jin woo no matter what. I'm glad they have amazing support.

I did not expect this episode to make me so emotional. I need to lie down and digest everything that happened.

I'll give it a 9/10

[rabbitechoes]

january is usually a pretty meh month when it comes to bunch of great records dropping, but this january might be an exception. plenty of amazing new albums here! especially that new glass beach record which i can already tell is going to be in my rotation for a long time to come. anyways, here are my thoughts on all the albums listed above! to check out my thoughts on some of the songs that dropped this month click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

plastic death - glass beach

🥇 ALBUM OF THE MONTH

◇ genres: indie rock, art rock, progressive rock I was very unfamiliar with glass beach. I was kinda aware of them, but never really got a chance to dive into the band's music. The hype both leading up to the album and from the first initial impressions of it when it dropped made me check this out. I'm so glad I did. Usually, I'm a bit weary of sprawling, genre-bending albums, but glass beach manages to execute it so perfectly. The band takes inspiration from tons of different places, most notably Radiohead with a lot of art rock instrumentation throughout as well as some of the vocal performances. These never come off as super derivative or anything, at least to my ears. The band manages to take these sounds and shape them into something uniquely theirs. Across the little over an hour runtime glass beach masterfully showcases their strong suits. Very rarely did this album ever lose my attention or ever feel disjointed. Each song had at least one "oh, I wasn't expecting that" moment too. Pretty much every sonic detour the band takes here is a welcome surprise. From the power pop stylings of "puppy" to the screamo-inspired vocals on “slip under the door", this album is full of so many surprises. Lead vocalist and multi-instrumentalist J is a key reason why these shifts work so well. She's able to adapt her voice perfectly to everything. From the relatively smaller-scale catchy indie rock or the more grand proggy moments, they're matching it so well. The other members of the band also obviously deserve massive props for this as well. Pulling off an album this ambitious is a tall task, but even after multiple listens, I'm blown away at how cohesive it all sounds. plastic death is one of the finest rock (for lack of a better descriptor) albums in recent memory. I didn't even properly get into how great the lyricism is or just how good the band is at crafting memorable hooks. There is so much to love about this album. Hopefully I'm not speaking too soon, but I can see myself loving this more and more in future listens as the year rolls on. I'll probably also end up giving this a proper, in-depth write-up when it comes time to compile my favorite albums of the year list. I really wanna dive into the lyricism on the album because I think it’s really interesting, but I do need more time with it. Anyway, this album is great!

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Wall of Eyes - The Smile

◇ genres: art rock, post-rock

Not too long after The Smile's debut record, we're getting the follow-up. A lot of the things I loved about A Light for Attracting Attention also apply to Wall of Eyes. It sounds like Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood are having fun making music again. That's not to say the last Radiohead record was bad, I think it's a masterpiece actually, but there was grief and pain around every corner. It feels like they found the fun in making music again once they teamed up with former Sons of Kemet drummer Tom Skinner and formed this band. The sounds featured on both The Smile records are a bit different than what you would hear from any of their previous work. As a MASSIVE Radiohead fan, this is so exciting. Hearing them dive into post-rock, math rock, krautrock, and many different other sounds is so cool. Are they the best representation of all these sounds? Not really, but there's just an air of excitement surrounding these songs. It feels like they're just following what feels right. The soft, bossa nova flavoring of the title track is a good example of that. Yorke's vocals just kinda bounce along in a very satisfying way. Lyrically the song doesn't exactly grab you, but it just feels so good. "Under Our Pillows" is one of my favorite tracks here and is one where you can hear the Krautrock influence. There are so many cool things the band explores here that it's hard to list all of my favorite moments. I love hearing them explore sounds that wouldn't be found on a Radiohead album. My favorite track here is "Bending Hectic" by a pretty wide margin. That's not a knock on the record at all, it's just a testament to how amazing this track is. When it first dropped last summer, I was obsessed with it, and hearing it in the context of this record makes it that much better. This was a really great album!

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ORQUÍDEAS - Kali Uchis

◇ genres: contemporary R&B, latin pop

Like a lot of people, my first introduction to Kali Uchis was through Tyler, the Creator's Flower Boy. Her amazing feature on "See You Again", the album's biggest track, was incredible and one of the most standout things about the entire album. From there I listened to Isolation and have been keeping up with her new releases ever since. She has been incredibly consistent both with her English language albums and her Spanish albums. This new record is one of the latter and it honestly might be my favorite album of hers to date. Everything about this album is just intoxicating. From the hazy opener, "¿Cómo así?, to the bolero stylings of "Te mata", this album just pulls everything off so well. We also have her signature dreamy vocal delivery throughout and it's so beautiful. Most notable on the second song "Me pongo loca." She enlists the help of some other big Latin musicians here and their presence is very welcome here. I was especially impressed by Peso Pluma's feature on the third track. Overall, ORQUÍDEAS might be Kali Uchis' best record to date. Incredibly consistent, excellently produced, and so much fun to listen to.

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Obsidian Wreath - Infant Island

◇ genres: screamo, post-metal I always feel the need to make a disclaimer that I feel out of my depth when discussing metal or most other subgenres of it. No matter how much I explore this sound I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in. Anyway, the point is, I don't think I'm the right person to go to for metal opinions. However, I really enjoyed this new Infant Island record. The band shifts from thundering instrumentation with growled vocals to lush, almost atmospheric instrumentation at a moment's notice. I find myself being a big fan of the albums in this genre that offer a decent amount of variety in the instrumentation. It gives the album so much more depth and texture. The musicianship on here is really impressive, but I have to give a special shoutout to the band's drummer. He's doing some crazy things on this album and it made all of these tracks that much more compelling. The lyricism here is what you would expect, but they're delivered in such a way that hits hard. The moments where the band shift into a more blackgaze sound are particularly arresting. I thought this was really good and I enjoy it more every time I revisit it.

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Bicycle - Patricia Taxxon

◇ genre: IDM I'm not super familiar with Patricia Taxxon's music overall. I enjoyed Agnes & Hilda a decent amount, but besides that, I'm kinda clueless. From what I can gather, she's a pretty prolific artist with a ton of different projects to her name. After hearing Bicycle, I might be so inclined as to dive into some of those projects! There are some really cool and unique production choices here. Like the metallic clicks on the opener interwoven with some nice synths. That dynamic appears all over the album come to think of it. Thin-sounding snaps and crackles acting as the anchor of the track while something wild happens above it. "Frat Claws" is a great example of this. They also work well on the excellent closer "I Do." It's very lush and ties the album up in such a nice way. My only issues are that sometimes that sound would wear thin for me and the non-instrumental tracks didn't interest me all that much. I do appreciate the direction Taxxon was trying to take them in though. Check this one out if you like cool electronic music or if you're a furry (i may be both or neither, i'll never tell!!!)

listen here: Apple Music (not available) Spotify (not available) Bandcamp SoundCloud (not available) YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Keep It Goin Xav - Xaviersobased

genres: jerk rap, cloud rap, plugg

I found out about this mixtape from the really interesting Pitchfork review of the project by Alphonse Pierre. The way Pierre wrote about it had me interested even though I'm not really familiar with the jerk rap or the plugg scenes of hip hop. Fortunately, I found a lot to enjoy with this mixtape. The production choices were really interesting and created a cool dynamic with Xavier's often lackadaisical delivery. Sometimes that kind of style would wear thin for me, but I can see that being a me thing. This could be the perfect "vibe" album for some.

It's hard to single out a specific track for that reason. Everything kinda flows together in both good and bad ways. The just under 30-minute runtime works in the project's favor because of that. Xavier is really good at making earworms though. The hook on "Ascend" was stuck in my head for days after listening. Not every track has one of those super memorable hooks, which is disappointing, but plenty do. Overall, I didn't adore it as much as Pierre did in his review, but this is one to check out. I feel like Xavier has a ton of potential and is definitely someone to keep an eye on in the future. 

listen here: Apple Music (not available) Spotify (not available) Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Little Rope - Sleater-Kinney

◇ genre: indie rock To preface this, I adore Sleater-Kinney. Their run of albums from Dig Me Out through The Woods is some of the finest indie rock of all time. The band went on hiatus following that record and then returned in 2014 for the run they're on currently. I've heard very mixed things about these post-hiatus albums overall, but I hadn't heard any of them until Little Rope. I enjoyed some of the singles leading up to this record, like "Hell" and "Say It Like You Mean It", but the rest of the album fails to keep that energy going. It isn't a BAD album by any means, it's just ... fine. Occasionally good, but mostly fine and nothing more. You will get some glimpses of their former glory, but they just never take these songs in any new directions. Even the tracks I mentioned earlier don't really live up to the standards set by their best work. They still get super fuzzy and noisy, but they lack the immediacy and the tension of like "The Fox" for example. It feels like they're going through the motions, which sounds fine if you don't think about it too much. A bit disappointed by this one, but with its brief runtime it's worth a shot.

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It's Sorted - Cheekface

◇ genres: geek rock, indie rock, new wave

I feel very conflicted about this album, to be honest. Everything on this album is painfully witty. Everything is a joke in some way which gets so exhausting. Most of the songs here are charming and well-performed, but you have to be very, very funny to pull off a full album of this stuff and I don’t think Cheekface pulled it off here. I understand that’s a very subjective thing and if you dig this late-millennial style of humor you’ll probably get a kick out of this!

Some of these songs are pretty amusing though. I really like “I Am Continuing to Do My Thing” which features a jerky, new-wave rhythm to it which I had fun with. I also enjoyed "Popular 2" which has a bit of a power pop thing going on. Most of these songs are structured decently well, but it's just the lyrics that make me roll my eyes. A good bit of this album meditates on fame and success which does provide a sense of cohesion, but I just find it hard for me to really connect with these songs. I realized a few songs in that I'm probably not the target audience for this. I'm sure if I was like 30 or so I would have a ball with this album, but as it stands now I would much rather listen to a They Might Be Giants album if I wanted to scratch the itch this record is attempting to. 

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud (not available) YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

New Last Name - Courting

◇ genres: post-punk revival, indie rock

This is such a big step down from their last album. I only heard the single "Flex" going into New Last Name and it's easily the best track here. The rest of the album features the big choruses reminiscent of 90s alt-rock hits that were present on both the band's previous album Guitar Music and the aforementioned "Flex", but unlike those most of the songs on the whole are just one big mess. The verses usually sound bad, both because of the off-putting production and the weak writing. One of the worst offenders here is "We Look Good Together (Big Words)" which sounds like they're doing a parody of The 1975 and I really don't like The 1975!!! That track features one of the few forays into indietronica territory and it never sounds very good. Even if the song structure and almost everything else is lacking, the band can still pull off a really good chorus here and there. The problem is they aren't worth sitting through the rest of the tracks to get through. Besides "Flex", I did find some enjoyment in "Emily G" and the last two tracks. Mostly because they reminded me of their last album. I'm all for bands evolving and trying different things, but New Last Name just feels misguided. Hoping they can come together for a better follow-up.

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Saviors - Green Day

◇ genres: alternative rock, pop punk

Green Day has been in a very rough spot for quite a while now. They've been seemingly unable to recapture that "magic" that was present in their earlier work. They've been failing at diving into new sounds, failing to rehash the old ones in an interesting way, and failing to make a single great cohesive album ever since like 2009. Coming on the heels of perhaps their worst record to date, Father of All, the expectations for this album were in the mud and that's putting it nicely. Fortunately, this isn't the band at their worst, but it might be the band at their most boring. The instrumentation is a return to form compared to their last record, but that comes at the cost of rehashing old ideas. There are some decently clever songwriting moments here and a lot of the big choruses are enjoyable enough to at least remind me why middle school Caleb loved this band so much, but even that works against the album's favor. Why would I listen to this if I was in a Green Day mood and not Dookie or American Idiot or Insomniac? I will say there is some really good stuff here. "Dilemma", "Look Ma, No Brains!", and the title track are highlights and some of the best stuff they've done in years. 

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Letter to Self - Sprints

◇ genres: garage punk, post-punk Let me preface this by saying that I think Sprints has a ton of potential. Unfortunately their debut, for the most part, doesn't capitalize on that potential. This is for a variety of reasons. For starters, the production of this record really doesn't do them any favors. The songs that SHOULD have a punch don't have any whatsoever. The noisy guitars lack the bite that they should have and mostly just kinda whimper along. The vocals are mixed decently, but they still sound far too clean for what I think the band was going for. Another big issue is the actual songs themselves. They're either complete non-starters, or they abruptly end as they're picking up steam, or they drive a hook straight into the ground. The second track "Heavy" is a key example of a song being cut off way too abruptly. It's one of the standout tracks on the record, but it definitely still had some legs. "Adore Adore Adore" is pretty easily the biggest highlight here. It's groovy, the vocals are good, and the chorus is satisfying ... more of this, please!!! I wanted to love this album, but it has way too many flaws. Still, I have high hopes for the Dublin rockers. Saddle them up with a better producer for the next one and see how it goes!!!

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

INSANO - Kid Cudi

◇ genres: pop rap, trap

I really want the best for Kid Cudi. Man on the Moon: The End of Day is legitimately one of the most influential hip hop records of the 2000s. You can hear its influence throughout the 2010s, especially in the emo-rap scene. Unfortunately, pretty much every record he's released since then has been a massive step down from that record (besides the relatively big bright spot in KIDS SEE GHOSTS). INSANO continues that trend, but to an almost embarrassing degree. He enlists DJ Drama to try and hype these tracks up, but even he can't save this thing. The production and beats on this album are the exact opposite of what the album title suggests. They're so painfully boring and Cudi's writing here is, as I said earlier, embarrassing. Cudi proudly raps on the opener "Why they love these raps, haha, to most of these lames I'm Papa." which is just so fucking embarrassing. That's the one word I can use to describe this record. I hope the next one will be good, but judging by this album and his track record overall, that doesn't seem likely.

listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thank u for reading :3

[lildoodlecat]

At last, it is complete! Tales of Destiny Director's Cut Stahn's story is done :D

(I'll be playing Leon's story next)

I loved it a lot!!!!! As I suspected, the addition of skits really expanded my affection for the characters, but I also rather enjoyed the changes they made. I honestly can't remember what exactly comparatively was different all around, but the changes to the depiction of Leon's final moments got me really hard,,,, idk if it was more similar in the original jp since I played the official English release of Destiny (I hear there were skits in jp? that might've helped my understanding lol) but I really really liked the director's cut take on things.

See my posts crying about Leon for those exact reactions lmao (they can probably be summarized with ;w;)

I also actually liked that we didn't have to see him come back as like. a raised husk or whatever it was og Destiny did bc even tho his fate seemed definite, it's still ambiguous. I haven't played the sequel obviously but I think?? the Leon looking guy is actually Leon???? idk. maybe it's a bit of a retcon. but yk

Anyway I actually liked every character quite a bit this time!! I liked my fav characters even more (coughcough Stahn and Leon living in my brain now) bc the extra conversations and voice acting were fantastic ✨✨ It really helped the emotions hit for me. I don't remember it all super well since I took so long to play it but I was a giggly little bastard abt the relationships and got a little teary at parts.

Cried at the end despite it all,, Stahn finally finished writing a letter like he was attempting for his family and it was for Leon ;w; That plus just. Tales credits. got me just a liiiittle teary lol. I liked it soso much. Also the reunion at the end made way more sense to me this time around lsjfd;lk just bc of some added dialogue and whatnot

The final boss is kinda meh as a character honestly but the overall story despite that guy was awesome!! I have a lot of fondness for the character arcs of Stahn, Leon, and Rutee, and also just the overall party dynamic was quite fun :3 Silly little creatures, the lot of them.

I missed having anime cutscenes after playing Destiny ps1 alksdjl; so they definitely got me there even tho they really only had character ones at the beginning and the end. But it's not like they do too many of those anyway.

Briefly on the character designs: they're goofy. I can't deny they're goofy. I love them sm they're unique lolol I'm attached to them

Oh yeah I LOVED the tie in to the title lol it was heavy handed as hell and it was perfect.

Bouncing back to what I said abt og Destiny, the dungeon designs were still kinda interesting here and there but less cool than the original, however the combat was definitely some of the best in the series. It's a serious learning curve but very fun!!! It was fun to see how they adapted the puzzles as well; a lot of them were similar but the final dungeon was way different. Hated the mirror area way way more than in og Destiny laskjdfkl;dsj I got stuck for a while but I do like the split party collaborative puzzles!! I remember Abyss did the same sort of thing an I liked that quite a bit, so it had that factor going for it too.

Umm final gist is it was really really fun and even tho it was actually pretty hard for me a lot of the time, but I think to a point that made it still fun. Except the 3-ish hours I spent on the final boss goddamn.

In any case, this definitely bumped up into the favorites!!!!! Stahn is an especially endearing protagonist to me and his relationship with the party was fun to watch develop <3

Fin~

[lynne-monstr]

hi blog, I missed my friday post so happy saturday. work is having a big milestone this weekend so I was up until 1am last night making sure things started off smoothly. I am exhausted. hopefully there won't be much else for me to do this weekend because

today is gallery wall hanging day!

(I'm actually kind of meh about one of the pics because the eggshell color of the print kind of clashes with the grayish white mat. but that is a problem for future lynne. I can maybe spray paint the mat or get a smaller frame that doesn't need a mat. too many decisions)

anyway if you hear screaming in the distance today it's because I'm trying to get all six of these frames level and correctly spaced on the wall. good luck to me.

I am almost done with the nobleman show but I am procrastinating the last couple episodes because I feel like they are going to kill off my murder husband and I'm not down for that. I'll probably finish it this weekend though.

I met my goal of making silly fandom valentines so I'm very pleased about that. maybe this weekend I will work on finishing best vc fic! I haven't been doing a lot of writing lately.

I hope everyone has a good weekend!

[antiadvil]

what's childhood trauma au?

WIPs

So I think I’ve talked about the background of the idea here but not much about what the fic actually is. I’m trying to be mysterious because all I have is an outline and like 400 words and I don’t want to disappoint people by never finishing/publishing it. But I'll talk a bit about the premise and maybe share something from the outline.

the backstory is that my best friend did not remember having any friends growing up until her parents revealed that one of their neighbor kids came over a lot, and her parents found it annoying so they starting telling the other parents that my friend was grounded and couldn't play. Because it was more convenient for them if she was playing quietly alone in her room, I guess. Which, I don’t think I need to say, is incredibly fucked up. After her parents told this story, she remembered some bits and pieces of this, but before her parents brought it up again the entire memory was sort of repressed.

And here is where I’m going to clarify that I’m writing all this with my friend’s full permission bc it sounds kinda fucked up to jump from that to “anyway so now I’m writing a fic about that” 😭 we both have similar attitudes towards most of our trauma which is: humor and fic are really good coping mechanisms actually. So I thought she might enjoy a fic based on this premise (I was already planning to write something incredibly specifically tailored to her tastes for her birthday and it’s hard to get more tailored than this) but because it is a pretty intensive project to just drop on someone I asked if she thought it would be a good idea and she said “yeah you have to write that the author’s note would be so funny.” So here I am though admittedly I think this is too big of a project to actually complete by September and I may need a different idea for this year’s birthday, unless I start posting before I finish which I’m meh on since the outline could still change (but I’ll see how things go once I finish my hospital fic and start focusing more on this).

So, yeah, it’s a fic where Dan and Phil are childhood friends, Dan’s parents drive Phil away, Dan represses the memory, so he doesn’t actually remember Phil as anyone other than that neighbor kid, while Phil remembers being friends and then Dan just suddenly not being there, and Phil assumes it was Dan voluntarily pulling away. The story follows them reuniting in high school.

As you can probably imagine, this wasn’t a one off thing. Dan’s parents just suck. There are a lot of weird fucked up things my parents did to me as a child that I didn’t realize were weird and fucked up until I talked to other people about it. There were many other things I did know were weird and fucked up. Living in that household caused me severe mental health issues, and I still have minor siblings who live with my parents. So, yeah, mainly this fic is about that. I literally made a list of fucked up stories from my childhood and gave them to fictional Dan. Not all of the things that happened in this fic actually happened to me (and a lot of the ones that did are exaggerated in some way) but many did.

I don't have much writing done yet (400 words is an overstatement actually) but I do have it fully outlined, here are some fun notes from my outline document (mostly actually funny even though the piece is actually very angsty because out of context none of the angst makes sense/is angsty/i wrote it in a way that sounds funny even though it is not):

phil has a friend group. they will need names.

lots of chances for gay trauma in gym class. as a treat for my hyperfixation brain i’m going to let them take a weightlifting class. phil seems like the kind of student to leave his PE credit for his senior year and need it to graduate

and finally this incredible dialogue exchange in my notes:

phil: so like do you wanna do that again

dan: RIGHT NOW?

phil: no wtf i’m trying to have a conversation about our relationship smh

(The conversation is extremely minimal)

[syilcawrites]

.

[pigtailedgirl]

hiii I hope you're having a great day! I'm not kidding when I say that it took several read throughs before I sent this 😭 I was just wondering if you'd mind linking any marvel meta and critiques pertaining to civil war and the accords, endgame, tfatws, tony, peggy, and the way steve and bucky's characters were treated.

context: I'm trying to explain some things to a friend of mine, but I just know there's posts that explain it better than I can. I spent over an hour scrolling through various tags and I really struggled to find my favourites.

I hope this doesn't sound too demanding, and feel free to ignore it if you're busy or you don't want to do it. I'm honestly just hoping you have some kind of folder where you keep them all! if you do, though, I would love if you included your own posts, because yours are some of the best ones I've read.

anyway, wishing you the best 💖

I admit this makes me super happy because, it's like even the internet friends know I'm a folder person! I do have a lot CACW and Endgame meta even offline folder saved lol.

I don't know if there is any specific arguments or points you and your friend are discussing to direct at? Let me know!

Here's what I have that applies in my current bookmarks, except LewtonBus which I think are articles for self examine and not to bring to discuss in rebuttals with friends, because there is really good stuff in them to ponder but, they are thesis' I'm not 100% subscribed too.

Also I can't rec enough the blogs of @thehollowprince, @robotmango, @monardarmmm, @fearlessinger, @chirping_tiger, @kateis_cakeis, @laporcurina, @cosmicmechanism, @keire-ke. I've scoured there tags and takes and loved so much if it.

STUCKY & Endgame

https://bamsmackpow.com/2019/04/30/avengers-endgame-lack-of-closure/

This is my defining WTF Endgame article. I don't see how anyone can argue against it. There is no explanation or reasoning to give out to the obvious and intentional erasure of Steve and Bucky out of Endgame's story narrative and why it doesn't fucking matter if you like the ship or the characters at all, erasing them, denying it, failed the set up of the story structure and the basics of arc complete writing.

The Stucky Essay - bilittlebarnes - Captain America (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]

This essay is so good. I was drawn in by it's argument on the "Bucky is alive!" moment of Endgame critic, because it highlights that the movie itself knows Stucky makes more narrative sense and importance and therefore uses it, but of course won’t let it be acknowledged. America’s ass is on display, just not the one they think.

The Silence of Peggy Carter. Peggy Carter was founder and Director… | by Summer Barbeau | Medium

I'm being really critical of Peggy's character being so beloved lately, examining my past defense of, but I think this article is the bomb on why Endgame's Steggy is dismissive of the pairing and characters whether you like them or not. An ending that devalues and silences your partner for romance is a fail.

For CACW

Exorcism, Burial, and Analysis: Representing Trauma in ‘Captain America: Civil War’ – Ceci n'est pas un discours (wordpress.com)

CA:CW, the reaction - cute but prickly (tumblr.com)

TFATWS

‘Falcon & The Winter Soldier’ & The Myth of Nonviolence | by Alex Mell-Taylor | An Injustice! (aninjusticemag.com)

I know it might not run in pop circles to my friends list but I'll say I agree with most if not all of the Mooler's breakdown of TFATWS.

https://youtu.be/N0Tu6pCvjQ4

In that Karli read more villain than John Walker to me, despite show intent, and it needs massive overhaul, because it's message sucked in many many ways. And I thought Sam and Bucky did come of as morally wrong and kinda massive jerks in comparison to Walker, as did the ethics of the Flagsmashers, the Dora.

That doesn't mean I've any love or interest in the John Walker character independently, as Jessica Jones season 1 did that style story better...it's a story meh in comparison to what I want which is a focused Sam story...and I certainly have no love or respect for Zemo's addition likewise. Where to go with the Captain America stories and ethics of the characters is so f'ed right now.