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herbirdglitter · 19 days

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Ao3 is down so here’s a really really silly Gimli/Legolas fanfiction I wrote for my own amusement

Aragorn stood with Gimli on the ramparts, looking out over the sea of Urukai steadily marching closer and closer. They would be there by nightfall, and there was nothing they could do that had not already be done. Nothing besides listen to the heavy tramp tramp tramp of the enemy’s footfalls in the distance and contemplate their impending doom. Gimli stood in silence, seemingly undaunted by the endless waves of foes flowing towards him. Aragorn was suddenly grateful for his steady presence, and his dwarven pragmatism. One could always count on Gimli to be the voice of reason in a room full of insanity. Well almost always, Aragorn supposed. Throw he and Legolas in a room together and all bets were off. Ever since their first meeting, they had displayed a natural talent for driving all rational thoughts from each other’s heads. Nowadays, of course, they were friends, and their irrationality usually presented itself in nonsensical debates as opposed to vicious arguments, which made a nice change.

Speaking of Legolas… the elf in question came bounding up, taking the wallstairs two at a time, looking decidedly excited and sporting a mad twinkle in his eye. Both Gimli and Aragorn turned to greet their friend. He didn’t give them time.

“Aragorn, I have an idea. It is not without fault but it might just give us an edge.”

“Well let us hear it then,” said Aragorn, clapping him on the shoulder. Any ideas were heartily welcome, and Legolas had plenty of useful experience. Legolas hesitated, and glanced down at Gimli.

“There now, out with it lad,” said Gimli. “Let’s hear your plan.”

“There is the fault,” said Legolas. “I fear that it might cause offence in some way.”

“And how is that possible?” asked Gimli.

“It involves me kissing you,” replied Legolas evenly. Aragorn was suddenly quite certain that his optimism had been premature. Gimli’s eyebrows shot up.

“Well now we have to hear it,” he said with interest, and, it should be noted, not looking remotely offended.

“I agree,” Aragorn said flatly. “I would dearly love to know you plan to save us by kissing our dwarf.”

“Then hear this.” Legolas gathered them together so that they were all three facing one another in a tight circle, his hands on each of their shoulders. “The Uruks will be here at nightfall, yes? And we have too few men. Yet we are not without advantages. We have courage, and strength, and most importantly, brains. We have some of the finest, most experienced battle strategists in all of Ennor right here in our walls. We would be fools to waste that advantage. What we need is something bold, unthought of, a move they would never conceive of in a million years.”

“And this, I suppose, is where kissing Gimli comes into it.” Aragorn wondered whether it was too late to find new companions.

“Precicely. It is the last thing they would expect. If Gimli and I go behind the stables and kiss-”

“They’ll never see it coming,” finished Gimli.

“Do not tell me you’re going along with this, Gimli,” Aragorn groaned. Gimli only grinned. “And then what happens?”

“Pardon?”

“What is the rest of your plan?”

“In all honesty, I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Legolas said with a winning smile. Gimli’s grin somehow got even wider. Aragorn squinted at both of them. “So to sum up, the entirety of your plan consists of you kissing Gimli behind the stables?”

“It just might work,” said Gimli, stroking his chin.

“I’m sorry?” asked Aragorn, trying to shake the notion that he’d been hit over the head with a shovel.

“I’ll admit, it is a bit far fetched, but if it has even the slightest chance of working, is it not our duty to try?” Saying so, Gimli covered Legolas’s hand far too tenderly with his own.

“What could that possibly do?!” Aragorn spluttered.

“We have no way of knowing,” said Legolas. “But Aragorn, if we survive this, how could any of us go home to our families with our heads held high, knowing we had not done all we could to save as many lives as possible?” He gazed at him imploringly.

“Besides,” said Gimli, taking Legolas’ hand and pulling him towards the wallstairs. “I don’t see you coming up with any better ideas.” Together, they skipped off down the stairs, giggling like children. At least some people were enjoying themselves.

Aragorn turned back to stare out over the flatlands, and wondered if it were too late to change careers. He soon saw the funny side however, and removed himself to a quiet corner to laugh. It wouldn’t do to let the army see him cackling alone like a madman in the face of their impending demise. And when Eomer arrived in search of the Mirkwood prince, Aragorn informed him in the most dignified of manners that Legolas could be found showing Gimli an elven battle techniques behind the stables, and that he would no doubt welcome his input. Watching Eomer do a swift about face at the stable corner and march away scrubbing at his eyes and shaking his head raised Aragorn’s spirits tremendously, enough to carry the night through. So in a way, Legolas was right. Kissing Gimli did give them an edge after all

#ao3 #fanfiction #gimleaf #gigolas #fanfic #not my best work BUT IT WAS SO FUN

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notherpuppet · 7 months

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