#not meant as a sad ending

[teejaystumbles]

Hob dreams. He thinks so, at least. His dreams always have a certain soft feeling to it, the lack of sharp edges or certain stimuli, like he's watching himself from inside his body and through another layer of skin, making everything muffled and quieter than when he is awake.

So when he steps through the blackness that surrounds him and marvels at the feeling of being in a hall of huge dimensions but without actually seeing or hearing anything, he is pretty sure he's dreaming. As his eyes adjust to the darkness he sees that there are stars under his feet and in the dark around him. Is he in space? He's not wearing a spacesuit though and the floor under his feet is hard. He realises that the lights under his feet are reflections of the galaxies above him. Awed he continues onwards, slowly, watching the lights. Two stars shine brighter than the others. He heads their way, keeping his eyes on their white glow.

One cannot reach the stars by walking.

He'll try anyway. Where else is there to go?

To his left the darkness suddenly reveals a house, a cottage, small but inviting, the door open. Hob knows that there's someone inside he loves, cooking. It's his mother. She makes the stew he always loved best.

He could go in, stay awhile. Remember. But he shakes his head. He has had all this. He can remember another time. These stars before him he has never seen so close before, and if he does not follow them now he might not find them again. The thought urges him on and he turns away from the cottage, for a second seeing himself superimposed upon his body, waving and embracing his mother in quick apology before hurrying on, but he has never stopped walking. This is how he knows he's dreaming.

A manor rises to his right and it feels bigger and more menacing than it ever was in real life. Inside are rooms full of laughter, and rooms full of tears, rooms full of blood and cellars full of water, deep and dark and cold. His wife smiles at him from the topmost window.

He could go in. Climb the stairs, climb and climb, until he reaches her, and is rewarded with her smile, her hand in his, and his son's laugh echoing through the house. He could. He wants to. But he also knows that this is gone, this is borrowed, this is a DREAM.

He turns from the pained face and the blood on the steps and the feeling of being drowned in his own tears and walks on, the twin stars brightly before him. He wants to reach them. Can he reach them both or only ever one of them at a time? But no, they belong together, they are one and they can be reached. He is sure of it. Can he take them with him when he wakes?

You would dare.

Yes. Yes I would.

The darkness around him has grown again, less and less stars being reflected in the gleaming floor he walks on. Only those two stars are still shining brightly, burning and beckoning. They are high above him and Hob suddenly finds himself at the bottom of a staircase. It winds upwards towards the stars, coiling and twisting like an Escher drawing.

Hob puts his foot on the first step. There is a sound like a sunken bell reverberating through the massive space around him and he halts for a second. Then he puts his other foot on the next step, and the next. It is a long climb and all the while the deafening drone of a giant bell having been rung vibrates through Hob's chest and the stairs under his feet. The stars above do not move and Hob stares at them, continuing with single-minded focus, now that he is so close.

No other memory rises to distract him and after what feels like an eternity of taking step after step upwards he finally sees that the stars he is looking at are set into two black eyes. Eyes that have a familiar slant, set into a familiar face, above a familiar nose and mouth.

He stops and stares up at the giant on his throne, one of his hands larger than Hob, and his mouth falls open in awe.

"Oh. It's you."

His stranger - (you may call me Morpheus, a smile, a clink of glasses, a new beginning) - nods his head a tiny fraction and the stars in his eyes twinkle.

"It's me. You found my throne room, Hob Gadling."

"You were leading me here."

"Was I? Did you find no dreams to entice you on your journey?"

"No. Things of the past. They didn't appeal to me. Not as much as the future. Not as much as you. I will ever go forward. As long as you're there." And even if you're not but I'd rather you were, he thinks, he knows but doesn't say and knows the being above him hears it all the same.

Hob takes another step up and another, and slowly his stranger leans down and offers his open palm. Hob climbs onto it and touches the marble skin under him reverently. It feels like the floor he walked, and on the flawless palm there are lines like constellations. Hob traces them gently and the hand underneath him shivers. His stranger lifts him up to look at him and Hob clings to his thumb, fighting against vertigo.

"You are big!" he states the obvious, a little breathless. His friend hums, a deep rumbling that echoes in the vastness of the throne room.

"You followed the stars, and the stars I hold. Would you take them with you now, Hob? Like you came to do?"

He blinks slowly and Hob sees again the stars burning in his eyes that are as big as dark lakes at night.

"I would." he whispers. "But you're too big, aren't you? You're not meant to be held by someone as small as me. You're meant to hold us."

"That is so. And yet, I find myself reflected in your eyes... whenever we meet. I can be held, Hob. If I allow it."

Hob takes a step forward on the stranger's hand and reaches out to touch the plane of his cheek. He leans in and kisses the white skin softly.

"Please, allow me then."

The stranger hums again and closes his eyes, leaving Hob in complete darkness. The skin under his hands moves and suddenly Hob's nose is touching soft hair and there are arms wrapping around him. The gossamer touch of lips on his cheek makes him raise his hands to map the now human-sized body in his arms. Then there's a soft sigh.

"This dream is over."

Read on AO3

[mourning-at-night]

jace i don’t feel good was so funny but also made me so sad. like that’s a teenager with a strawberry squishmallow keychain and a tamagotchi and she doesn’t feel good and she's tugging on a teacher’s sleeve about it. a teacher who should have been responsible for protecting her in the first place and didn’t. who is manipulating and using her and her friends to help fulfill the desires of a wrathful power-hungry egomaniac. porter and jace it’s on sight >:(

[onawhimsicot]

i know not many people would want to read a 10,000 word article about the minecraft end poem and how the author, Julian Gough, was never fairly compensated for his work and has made it public domain.

But it's a very well-written and heartfelt read, and he makes it very clear that none of this is a cash-grab and despite the fact that he is essentially a starving artist in this capitalist society, he only mentions his financial struggles despite Minecraft's huge huge success at the bottom of this article and not in the tweets so as to not dilute his message.

Anyway, I just think it'd be cool if those who are able to could support him in some way whether it be subscribing to his substack or donating to his paypal (that's linked in the article, you can ctrl + F to find it easier), that's all.

[heatherchasesyou]

Friendly reminder 😍

[possibly-drunk-on-fanfiction]

AU where after the battle at Hogwarts and Voldemort's death, Harry finds himself mourning. Not much later he finds a portrait of Voldemort. At first he wants to destroy it but ultimately doesn't go through with it, and instead steadily he becomes friends with the art piece. Harry becomes cheerful again to the point that his friends are happy that he's moving on. He consistently has to hide the painting whenever they come over but it's fine. He can live this double life. It's not like it's the real Voldemort...

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

one thing i really wish people wouldn’t forget when it comes to suguru’s character is that his core desire is just to have a family. not in a nuclear family way, but in a “i want a place where i belong / i want to protect the ones i love” way…… literally everything else is just an extension of that desire. a means to meet that end. he broke down after being forced to realize that staying with his family meant having to watch them die, so he left and made a new one. and he got stronger. and his core wish was always, always always to create a world where he’d finally be able to protect them :(((((((((

[leviraaaaaa]

“I hate it.”

You looked up at him, gritting your teeth through the words. You were angry, so so angry. Furious, enraged, aggravated. Who does he think he is, that fucking Jaeger?

Eren’s last letter finally came through. The one where he says he was going to raid Liberio and asked the scouts for help. Or did he? With or without help, he said. The audacity.

After all the shit you and the others had to go through, the huge reports trying to explain why he went missing, answering the higher ups about his disappearance, trying to justify it, seeking up excuses. Then he has the fucking nerve to send these letters.

You had stormed out right after Hange read out the words, not even bothering to ask to be excused. You were tired of dealing with that emo teenage brat.

But Levi gave no reaction to the sharpness of your tone, already aware of the cause of your temper. He was there in the room, his expression had tightened just as yours had. And he must’ve followed you right after.

He always does.

Without a word, he lowered himself down on the step beside you.

“This is filthy.” He scrunched his nose. “Couldn’t have found a better place?”

“I didn’t ask you to sit here.” You grumbled, rolling your eyes. You just kind of took the first isolated corner you could find. Sure, the stairs were filthy, but that was the last thing on your mind.

“Why did you follow me anyways?” You asked.

“I didn’t follow you.” Levi sighs, stretching his leg to kick a piece of rock. It flew all the way over to a wall, making soft little sounds on the pavement as it impacted. “I needed air. He pissed me off.”

You let out a noise in agreement. That’s one thing you can both agree on. Eren Jaeger was an absolute piece of shit with a talent to irritate like no other.

“Next time I’m seeing him,” You mumbled darkly. “I’m breaking a couple bones, I swear.”

“That was actually my plan, but I’d let you have the honors as well.”

“You should’ve hit him harder all those years ago, back in the courtroom.”

“Definitely.”

That made you smile.

But it was the absolute seriousness of his expression that made you crack. The stony face, with an even more stoic tone. He actually seemed to be considering the idea. As if you and him were merely discussing the weather instead of the best way to beat up an adolescent boy. Without even meaning to, you were grinning, a snort escaping you making Levi glance at you with the side of his eyes. He frowned.

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are.” You smiled. “That’s why it’s funny.” Poor Eren, he’s had it coming.”

Finally, you felt the anger go down.

It’s always like that. You get angry, you get emotional, but when you turn around, Levi’s always there, in his own strange little way, a hand on your shoulder and shooting you a look. Or times like this when you’re upset and pissed, and he just sits with you and goes along with everything you say until you feel better.

You leaned back, letting yourself fall back on your arms, kicking your legs and stretching them. Your shoulders hurt from how stiff they’ve been from the tension until now. You tilted your head to look at him.

“Look at us, making plans about how to beat up a kid half our age. What have we come to?”

“Our fucking limit.” Levi grumbled, but the scowl lessened, his brows straightening slightly at your calmer tone. His own shoulders relaxed. “He deserves it at this point.”

You grinned. Sure, you can’t really hit Eren right now, but the idea does make you feel better. For the time being at least, you’ll have to cope by daydreaming.

But you were so tired, you think. Very so.

Why is it that you could never stop running?

Eren’s shit was only the least of it, but it’s been so hard. Being a scout was never supposed to be easy. But ever since Erwin and the others died, nothing's been the same. You could hardly celebrate the success at retaking wall maria when the price to pay was the blood of everyone you knew. Even witnessing the wonder that is the sea for the first time hadn’t been as thrilling as you thought, how could it when you know there’s a whole other world beyond it, and that they want you dead? Stepping in Marley and realizing all that you’ve been kept away from, a life you couldn’t even imagine. It must be nice to live without being so terrified, scared for you and scared for your friends, you had thought. Must be nice to live without having the rest of the world label you as devils and to take the peace for granted.

You wished you could just catch a fucking break. Maybe forever.

You sighed.

“Levi.”

He gave a lazy glance. “What?”

“Let’s run away.” You muttered softly under your breath. Eyes focused on the ground. “Me and you. And Hange, if they want to come.” You sighed, pausing a little. “I hate it. I hate all of it. I’m sure you do too.”

With that, you turned to look at him, right in those silver eyes of his. They looked almost blue here in the moonlight. Was it just you or was even the wind holding its breath?

“This isn’t what I signed up for Lev. I thought I was going to fight titans, not humans.”

“What..” He asked, staring at you unblinking, almost confused. And surprised. And something else you couldn’t quite place. “What are you on about?”

“So, let’s go.”

“What?”

“I’m serious. Somewhere far away. We could just get up and leave right now.”

“..now?”

Levi gaped, struggling to find something to say. Your light tone indicated that it was a joke but yet, there was something in your eyes. A glimmer of something. That made him think that maybe it wasn’t a joke after all.

You grinned. “Leave this to the kids. They don’t listen to us either way. Let’s go and start another life.”

And for a moment, there was silence. You stared at him as he did the same, eyes boring into each other, unspoken words and unconfessed truths thrumming in the air between.

And just for that moment, you considered it. You really, really considered it. Just saying it out loud.

To tell him what you never did. What you’ve been hiding from him for so long.

Would that be so bad?

What if you did run away after all?

You sighed.

“Jeez, Levi.” You finally looked away, peeling your eyes off of him. “Relax. You look like I’m about to drag you from here at gunpoint. It was a joke.”

Levi was quick to duck his head away as well. “I know.” He mumbled. “I know. I’m not that fucking dense.”

“Were you hoping I was serious?” You pulled your knees up to his chest, letting your head rest on them to look at him, a grin forming.

He did. But he couldn’t say that, could he?

“You are the last person I’d willingly choose to spend my life with.” He scowled.

“That’s cruel.” You gasped dramatically, feigning hurt and giving him a mock glare. “We get along fine.”

“You’re missing the part where I want to choke one or two dozen times a day.”

“Kinky.”

“Fuck off.”

“Okay, but, think about it,” You pressed your lips together with the effort to hold the grin together, trying your best to look serious. How could you when he looked so incredulous? It only made you want to fuck around with him a little more. “You could be a farmer or some shit. I could be the pretty housewife. Some peace and calm.”

“You as a housewife?” Levi snorted, amusement gleaming in his eyes at the thought. “Peace and calm at the same place where you are?”

“Well,” You shrugged, “You could be the pretty housewife then. I won’t mind.”

“I think I'll stick to being a squad captain, thanks.”

"You're no fun."

"Shut the fuck up.''

The giggle finally escaped you, unable to hold it in any longer. And little after, you were laughing, clutching your sides, making the mistake of looking at his very offended face and then you were laughing so hard you could hardly breathe. Soon, even Levi’s face softened, the corners of his mouth quirking up just a little.

“HEYYY YOU TWO!”

Hange yells, appearing out of nowhere and startling the shit out of the two of you, making you almost choke. They flopped themselves down between you, wrapping their arms around both of your shoulders, squeezing hard and letting their head drop. “Nice of you to leave me alone with those children. Gave me a headache.”

“You’re the commander after all.” You said coughing, trying to get your breathing back to normal.

“Next time, can you at least say hello before you proceed to crush us to death?” Levi grumbled, squirming under Hange’s grasp.

“No.” They reply to Levi. “But jeez.. I say one word and Mikasa gets all defensive. Why is everyone acting like it’s my fault?” Hange pouts.

“Aw Hange.” You pat their back, laughing.

“I want to smack Eren.”

“Don’t we all?” Levi muttered quietly under his breath.

“Me and Levi booked him first.” You said. “You can have the rest if anything remains.”

“Aw man. No fair.”

Hange pulled a face. And then they pulled the two of you closer, until all 3 of you were practically squishing against each other.

You let your eyes fall shut, soaking in the warmth. And Levi, even Levi— who’s always complaining about Hange’s very physical manners—didn’t complain anymore. And the three of you just stayed like that, leaning against each other in silence. The presence of the other was enough itself.

Then Hange spoke, so quietly you would’ve barely heard it if you weren’t so close.

“How long do you think until it’s over?”

You pondered over the question a little while, thinking about it. Then you sighed.

“Who knows? Will it ever really be over?”

Hange exhaled softly, pausing. They looked up, the moonlight glinting off their glasses. There were a lot of stars tonight.

“Think Erwin’s getting amusement watching us be miserable?” They muttered.

It was Levi to answer this time.

"Yes."

[dangoulains-devotion]

this room was built for one chair only,

i'm not empty, i'm just lonely

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[icecream-headaches]

Patrick Stump anime beach episode

[mayasaura]

It's a bit funny too how carefully John avoids thinking or talking about G— in his flashbacks. When he can't avoid it entirely, he obfuscates with a joke.

What are you afraid of seeing, if you looked directly at him, John?

[literary-lesbian]

i don't care i don't care everyone shut up it was perfect. it was literally perfect because they have their own beautiful little family now and earlier when they tried to leave it didn't work because it was still their dream but now they have a new little dream. and they gave the house to someone who could afford to turn it into the hotel. and guys. they have the room. they have the same room and i bet they go there every single year and alison gets to see them again. it's like that group of friends that you know inside out that you only get to see once in a while but you're always as close as ever and you just. still always get each other.

[heph]

House's tendency to rationalize feelings away and being frustrated at himself for still feeling them. It's hurting me 😢

At the end of 05x04 Birthmarks he did a paternity test... And even after it turned out that John wasnt his father, he was still drinking his whiskey, because it didn't mean anything that John wasn't his biological father, because things are still the same.

He's still sad, he's still depressed. The dipshit of a man passing still made him sad. And the thought that he can't even rationalize it away as hatred upsets him. And so he drinks.

And to that Wilson said no one can choose their parents... Because House rejects John as his paternal figure and yet deep inside, House still called him his dad.

[ironunderstands]

Joy haters when they see you making the mortal character in a mortal X immortal ship immortal

[smokbeast]

and you should never try to be

[captn3]

until next time.... stay fresh [plain text: until next time.... stay fresh]