#not me having a whole existential crisis during this movie

[raph-fangirl]

I'm so sorry y'all but barbie is the best movie ever made

[hilsonamore]

TW (intense feelings of disassociation, unreality etc)

Babe, it’s midnight existential crisis time so buckle up!

Okay so, brace yourselves because i’m about to get really weird (or not, if you can relate i guess) and abstract.

(seriously, it’s really fucking weird, so TW!!!!!!)

Does anyone else get this weird feeling when they look themselves in the mirror? As if there is something seriously wrong with your body, your form, your whole demeanour? And i don’t mean just as in like “i wish i had a different body-shape, i wish i was born in the right body, i wish i didn’t feel all this pain, i wish my face wasn’t so deformed, i wish my eyes sparkled more-more-more!” I don’t mean in the sense that you just- you just don’t like the way your figure is formed, you know? I mean as in “when i look at myself in the mirror, i see a stranger. I see no adoring gaze, no soft eyes, none of these feelings that i have inside of me painted upon the canvas of my mortal vessel. I see no life sparkling, feel no crackling energy, nothing noteworthy, nothing full and beautiful and alive”. Do you ever just feel like you are more yourself when secluded in your room, behind a screen, with a pen in hand, or enraptured by a movie, captivated by a book, consumed by a far away story? And you see yourself there, you see them! And how dear it would be to touch that person, to be that person, to feel in your own body like that person. Not just imagine comfortable and swift movements, not picture swift tongues and daring eyes, not crave the softness of your bare soul like a thumping heart bleeding inside your quavering hand. But to be, to actually be, to feel the fullness of it all! To feel it in real life, to have something this noble and wonderful happen to you and capture your soul completely, completely, you understand? To-to-to…how do i say this? How do i convey any of this? How is it possible to feel so alive when distanced from yourself and your life and everything and everyone and you’re allowed not be yourself and not someone else, and who is who, you don’t even know anymore. It feels like you can understand everything and nothing all at once, the world is your oyster, but you’ve tasted it so subtly, maybe in a midnight haze, maybe in a daydream, maybe from behind the the transformative barriers of art. Who knows? Who knows?

God im making zero sense, but how i loathe feeling this way. How i loathe feeling like nothing is real. Because none of it feels real. When i’m reading my stories, i can feel fires licking the walls of my heart, my eyes stinging with tears, every cell of my body crackling with energy, and it’s the closest i’ll ever get to feeling truly alive. During the late night hours in my room, just me and everything that feels true to this something that’s inhabiting my flesh, everything that keeps me alive in this messed up way. How i hate going outside during the day and having to gaze at the world not just in wonder, but deep in thought because…is this breeze really brushing against my skin? Are these cars really moving? Look at them moon, so high up, beautifully dressed in the finery of rosy clouds…i think i can see it, i think i can see these wonders. I’ve read about them somewhere, everywhere, i’ve been reading about them and about how they make people feel, and i’ve felt their magic countless times in my life. So why can’t i feel anything now? Why, as i am supposedly gazing at this oddly bright sky, do i feel nothing? Why can’t i really ever listen to anything, to anyone, to understand and show that i understand- but i mean, i do understand but- but i can’t show it in the way i want to. I need to fabricate words that i know seem fitting and elude the world of my deserving nature. But im nothing to the world- it feels like im not a part of it. It feels like im doomed to live a vibrant life through the lenses of deception and imagination. What a miserable fate to be sentenced to.

Sorry for the rant, but i just- i needed to get this shit out

[asonofsoddensoil]

So uh if anyone in the brave little toaster fandom finds this, hello, hope you enjoy my ramblings. The themes of these two works are just so fascinating and parallel in ways I find very interesting. This movie was my first fond memento mori in fiction and gave me a safe place to explore existential and societal fears early on in life. It gave me a more conscious appreciation for the horror genre with how gently yet seriously it nudged me towards facing my fears.

Also I refer to Toaster in this post as a she because if Toaster were human I'd headcanon her as a trans woman and the first two movies taking place during her egg phase. I also headcanon Lampy and Radio as trans, Blanky as genderfluid, and Kirby as occasionally gnc if he feels more relaxed. All of them are gnc to me by virtue of how many people with a difficult or heavily tested relationship with gender love this movie. Gender norms are very arbitrary yet are used to define people by function. So, while it's not as directly applicable to the characters as appliances, the ideas sprung up about identity and purpose overall bring up interesting questions about gender.

🍞 All those nightmares robbed Toaster of restful sleep for years. Toaster tried desperately to protect everyone and keep them all together, so afraid of being the spark that ignites their doom that she kept her distance from them. But watching the gears of the crushing machine turn, its image inverted against her reflective chrome, she felt for a moment that she fully knew this was what fate had in mind for her all this time.

🥀 Blanky was blown up in the trees, shroud in darkness all through the storm and so far away from home, far away from the child it warded from the monsters under his bed. The wind threatened to blow it away at every moment, but it held on tight all through the night, clinging to the branches that tore and dirtied its fabric.

📻 Radio got so used to trouble in the cottage that he readily took on whatever role the situation called for when they left. Leading the charge or signing off for good, in crisis or stability, he always made sure to put on a good show to keep morale up. But who would put their life on the line to save the one who brought them to their own butcher, he wondered...

💡 Lampy surrendered to the storm in a rare moment of certainty, surviving though by all accounts being struck by lightning should have blown him and the battery to pieces. He learned that night to trust in himself and others, and was a worthwhile risk to take.

🧹 Kirby stood at the edge of a cliff, heart heavy with regret for being too weak to hold on tight enough to keep them from falling, for being so closed off, for the last things he said to them, for the last thing he said to him. He's so distant up here that his friends seem to disappear into the mist and the river below. Choking down his fear, he steadies himself and takes a leap of faith.

List of episodes I associate with the main 5 and other important characters just below the cut. Then there's a buffer space prevent spoiling those who haven't listened to the whole series.

Toaster: 8, 11, 26, 29, 37

Blanket: 9, 12, 15, 22, 32

Radio: 1, 7, 16, 29, 31

Lamp: 4, 12, 17, 23, 38

Vacuum cleaner: 2, 10, 13, 31, 33

Air Conditioner: 8, 13, 19, 26, 35

TV: 3, 5, 24

Rob: 5, 12, 24, 38

Kris: 1, 3, 25

Parts Shop appliances: 14, 18, 30, 34

Junkyard appliances: 5, 15, 30, 32

Tinselina: 21, 24, 28, 34

Ratso: 7, 26, 31, 32, 35

Wittgenstein: 8, 16, 23, 32, 35

Spoilers for episodes 80-200 below this point.

Anyway so now that only the ones knowledgeable of TMA are here, the Dread Powers seem to both kick their asses and love them. Which dread powers I think they'd be aligned with, you likely get a clue based on my descriptions and chosen episodes if you're down here. But I'll make it clear here because the implications are so much to me.

Toaster: Terminus, The Mother of Puppets, The Lightless Flame

Blanky: The Forever Blind, The Crawling Rot, The Future Without Us

Radio: I Do Not Know You, Viscera, Butchery

Lampy: It Is Not What It Is, Beholding, The Falling Titan

Kirby: , Too Close I Cannot Breathe, Everchase, The One Alone

The scene where they all sink is like watching the swamp of sadness in The Neverending Story, it's so sad to watch everyone's last instinct be to save their own lives, if it ever comes to their minds. I've thought way too much about this subject in particular because this scene reveals their impulses under crisis very handily, and that is so like the Buried. That it's a scene that handles Kirby's greatest vulnerability after we see him overcome his greatest fear is heartbreaking in itself on top of everything it reveals about everyone else.

Radio then saves their lives by not shutting up, as usual, but the helper they receive puts them directly in danger. 😭

[corner-stories]

handwriting

Jean Kirschtein. Mikasa Ackerman. Chemistry Notes. Lacrosse Games. Shiba Inus. High School AU. 2870 words. (ao3.) | part 1

The pressed forget-me-not rides in Mikasa’s textbook, the one with flowers doodled into the margins. It stays there as she attends her final class of the day, then heads off to soccer practice. 

She forgets about the note and the flower as she runs down the field, chasing the ball as she scrimmages with her teammates. She practices assists with Historia and shooting drills with Mina at the net until the sun disappears on the horizon. 

When Mikasa heads home, she enters the house on the west side of town. She calmly greets her Aunt Kiyomi in the living area, as well as the Azumabito household’s resident Shiba Inu. The dog screams in delight upon seeing its favorite human. Mikasa turns down her Auntie’s offer to watch a movie together and retires to her room for the night. 

After changing out of her clothes and into something more comfortable, she flops down onto her bed and wonders how difficult sleep will be tonight. As she rests, the dog pushes its way through her ajar door and hops onto her bed, immediately making itself comfortable amongst the cushions. Mikasa doesn’t protest and lets Panko Ackerman-Azumabito rest his head against her thigh. 

But before Mikasa drifts off to sleep, she remembers the flower she slipped into her textbook. 

Hopping off the bed, Mikasa goes to the backpack on the floor and digs inside. Panko can only sit up and watch in confusion. 

When Mikasa procures her textbook, she goes to her desk and finds the flower and note. 

It hasn’t changed since the moment she saw it fall out of her locker. It feels so small as she holds it in her fingers, as if the stems or the leaves could wither and rot if she does something wrong. 

That same feeling of curiosity fires up in her head, the one she experienced when initially finding the flower. 

She can’t even fathom who could have sent the note. She barely talks to people in school, reserving most of her words for answering questions or communicating with her soccer teammates. 

She’s not even sure which class she shares with the person. She doodles in her textbook during all of them. 

Mikasa holds the note in the light and looks it over again, trying to find some trace of identity aside from the phrase “I heard you liked flowers” scribbled onto the lines. But alas, she can’t find it. 

She reads the message over and over again, committing it to memory, everything from the hue of the pen to the intricacies of the handwriting. 

Questions dance fervently in her head. 

Who sent this? Why did they send it? Why didn’t they sign the note? And why a forget-me-not?

Then after a moment, Mikasa lets out a sigh. She slips the note and flower into her journal and tucks it away into her desk drawer. 

When she goes to sleep that night, her dreams feel blank and grey. 

…

…

…

Jean tries not to get hung up on his gesture. To be frank, he had not put any thought into what the aftermath of his gift would be. 

What is he to do now? Keep watching Mikasa during study hall? Pray that she somehow figures it out? Or go under a rock and die?

With the feeling of despair currently making his chest feel like an empty hole, Jean highly considers option three. 

The seconds after seeing Mikasa holding his pressed forget-me-not turns into minutes, then hours, then a whole day passes and he still can’t shake the sight from his head. He swore he saw her smiling, even if it was just for a little bit. 

At least when Jean wakes up the next morning, the initial shock is gone. He doesn’t feel as torn and sick as he did the day before, but still he barely touches his breakfast while going through his daily existential crisis.

After heading to school, Jean is thankful to have a reason to distract himself. He’s never been a slacker, but today he makes his chemistry notes extra thorough as an excuse to not think about that one certain thing. He doesn’t even joke around when Sasha falls asleep beside him. 

The hours and classes drag on, then soon Jean heads to the fateful study hall that started it all. 

As he navigates the hallway, the nervous knot in his stomach returns. With a sigh, Jean pulls his green hoodie over his head and places his headphones over his ears. He blasts the first song he can find to drown out the noise. 

When he enters the room Mikasa’s in her usual spot, except instead of drawing in her textbook or going over her homework, her glassy eyes are scanning the classroom. 

The knot in Jean’s stomach gets worse, much worse. He tries not to look like a deer-in-the-headlights as he scrambles to his seat.

Throughout class he doesn’t even spare a glance at her, fearing that doing so would lead to dire consequences. He’s probably put her on edge now, as she’ll be extra vigilant in order to find out the identity of her secret admirer. 

So to not rouse suspicion that the big dumb lacrosse player took the time to press a flower for a girl he liked, Jean goes over his chemistry notes like he’s trying to find the cure for cancer. 

…

…

…

The days go on and the lingering thought of the flower in her locker begins to fade. Mikasa keeps herself occupied with other things — soccer practice, SAT prep, or the university brochures that her Aunt kindly placed on her desk. 

Kiyomi is always observant, but either she hasn’t noticed her niece being preoccupied by something else or is too kind to bring it up. 

Around this time of year, in the midst of spring, Mikasa gets particularly glum. When she feels the remaining chill of winter melting away, it’s hard for her to feel entirely happy. The anniversary of her parent’s death — which happened barely a month after her ninth birthday — has been igniting her lingering grief for nearly a decade.  

At least Mikasa wakes up one morning to find an intricately prepared bento box in the fridge. The note on it reminds her to bring it to school. Kiyomi has always done this, leaving ample amounts of food in her niece’s vicinity to counteract Mikasa’s habit of not eating when she’s sad. It’s always nice to know that Kiyomi cares in her own way. 

One day Mikasa is standing near the net during soccer practice. Beside her Sasha — the team’s left winger — and her current partner for working on assists. 

As they work together to slowly kick a line of balls into the net, Sasha chats to Mikasa about whatever’s on her mind. Their interactions are usually like this, Sasha being a motor mouth while Mikasa nods along with her usual stoic, emotionless expression. Whether they be at practice or eating lunch together, it’s always the same. At least Mikasa can find comfort in the routine and familiarity. 

Today Sasha is telling her friend about the depths of boredom that can only be experienced in the throes of AP Chemistry. When the brunette brings up her habit of snoozing in class, Mikasa begins to wonder if anyone in her generation is capable of getting any sleep. 

Then suddenly, Sasha passes a ball with a little too much force and Mikasa ends up kicking it high into the air, something she was very much not intending to do. As it goes flying she can already tell that it’s going off the intended trajectory.

Unsurprisingly, the team’s star striker causes the ball to soar with breathtaking speed. Mikasa and Sasha watch as it heads towards the running track surrounding the sports field. 

The ball gets dangerously close to hitting some poor unsuspecting person trying to get a few laps in. It lands just in front of a guy in a green hoodie, causing him to curse and stumble back. 

While Mikasa feels horrible for the deed, Sasha lets out a laugh and clutches her stomach as she guffaws.

“Whoa! Looks like it’s raining balls, Jean Boy!” Sasha exclaims in utter glee. 

After sharply elbowing her friend to quiet down, Mikasa gets a better look at the person on the track. It’s the guy in her study hall who brings his lacrosse stick to class at least three days a week. 

“Sorry about that!” Mikasa calls out to him. 

When their gazes meet, Mikasa immediately notices a sense of nervousness taking over Jean’s disposition. At first he seems annoyed with Sasha, which is unsurprising for most people who know her, but the second Jean looks at Mikasa his face softens and he begins to look sick. 

“Uh… it’s fine…” he stammers out. Awkwardly, he grabs the ball that almost struck him head on and kicks it back to the field. 

She’s noticed him acting like this in class once or twice before, sometimes being surprisingly quiet and reserved out of the blue. He usually chats with his seat mates during the hour — to what extent Mikasa doesn’t know, but it’s a lot more than her. Seeing him huddle to himself does feel a tad bit peculiar, but perhaps she’s reading too far into things. 

When the ball returns to the field, Mikasa runs to grab it off the ground, then says — “Thank you.” 

Jean manages a smile despite his unease and gives a friendly wave. 

“You’re welcome!” 

…

…

…

A week and a whole lacrosse game later, Jean returns home with his mother and does not hesitate to let himself rest. After tossing his dirty uniform in the laundry hamper, he takes a quick shower to rid himself of the dirt and grass on his skin. At least tanking that body check was worth it, since protecting Connie Springer ensured the team’s winning goal. 

Once he’s clean, Jean heads back to his room and lies on his bed. He’s exhausted from the game, but before nodding off he manages to read a handful of texts sent to him while he was busy. His teammate Thomas is congratulating him for providing the game-winning assist, Connie applauding him for surviving a body check from the absolute unit of a defender on the opposing team, and the final is a message from Sasha regarding something completely unrelated to the whole-ass lacrosse game she just watched him in. 

‘Oh Sasha, never change for anyone,’ is the last thought on Jean’s mind before he truly falls asleep.

As per usual, Jean heads to school the next morning. Except instead of heading straight to art class to dick around until the bell, he’s making a stop at his locker to pick up the fabled chemistry notes that Sasha so kindly begged for. 

Despite his somewhat messy penmanship and the single staple haphazardly holding the papers together, at least the notes are thorough. 

As Jean traverses the crowded hallways, he wonders when Sasha will actually start staying awake during class instead of mooching off him to pass. One should expect more from a senior on the verge of graduation, but one should also expect that the inner mechanisms of Sasha’s mind must remain an enigma. 

As Jean walks, another text tells him to head to the soccer field to make the transfer. Due to the abundance of emojis following the message, he does what he’s told.  

After he exits the schools’ north building, the warmth of the sun grazes his skin. As he traverses the student parking lot, he’s suddenly thankful for a reason to be outdoors. 

When Jean arrives at the field he walks on the path between the bleachers and the running track. After scanning the area for Sasha, he looks forward and suddenly realizes that he’s in proximity of the last — or perhaps the first — person he wants to see. 

…

…

…

As a handful of her teammates scrimmage on the field, Mikasa remains at the side to warm up. With a few dynamic stretches she can feel the blood flowing in her veins and her muscles beginning to activate. Morning practices are not her favorite, but it’s a good distraction from her usual post-winter blues. 

Once she finishes her final stretch and gets onto her feet, she glances up to see a person she doesn’t often see at this time of day. 

Jean’s hair is scruffy as he walks near the bottom of the bleachers. His disposition is uneasy, just as it has been before, but he manages to approach her with a boyish smile on his face — the kind that is subdued, shy, but ultimately genuine. 

“Hey, Mikasa.”

She tilts her head to the side and furrows her eyebrows at him. “How do you know my name?”

“We’ve gone to school together for the last four years,” he explains, his tone turning dry. “And we have study hall. And weren’t you in my bio class last term?”

Mikasa tries to think back to where or when she would have seen his face. At this point in her high school career, everything becomes a blur the second she’s finished with it. Only a select few things have managed to linger with her.  

But nonetheless, she nods her head slowly and pretends to know what she’s talking about. “I think so.”

There is a beat, and Mikasa can’t help but notice that Jean’s nervousness returns. His resting face often looks mean and sullen, yet somehow — standing in front of her — Jean has suddenly adopted the mannerisms of Panko in a veterinarian’s waiting room.  

He runs a hand through his hair and avoids her gaze. “Uh… have you seen Sasha?”

Mikasa gently tilts her head towards the field. Jean looks over just in time to see Sasha doing passing drills with Historia near the net. 

“Coach threw her in at the last minute,” Mikasa adds. 

Jean clicks his tongue. “Ah.” 

As Mikasa reaches down to adjust her shin guards, Jean slips off his backpack and rummages inside. What he takes out is a handful of papers with various paragraphs and chemistry equations scribbled onto them. 

For a guy who worked somewhat diligently in every study hall, Mikasa has never noticed how messy his notes could be. 

“Could you uh… do me a favor and give these to her?” Jean asks as he hands over the papers. “Sasha seems a little…” 

He pauses, then looks to the field just in time to see the girl in question tripping over the ball. 

“...preoccupied.”

Just like before, Mikasa nods slowly and takes the papers. As sleep-deprived and tired as she tends to be, she’s not too unkind to refute a simple request. 

“I can do that.”

Jean gives her a slight grin as he slips his backpack on. “Uh… good game last week, by the way.” 

Mikasa raises an eyebrow. “You attend the girl’s soccer games?”

Jean nods like it’s the easiest thing in the world. 

“Yeah, for Sasha mainly, but you’re all good,” he lauds. His smile towards her gets just a bit brighter. “You’re a better midfielder than most dudes on the lacrosse team, that’s for sure.” 

Mikasa lets out a hum, which is the closest she can get to laughing. She finds something humorous in Jean’s ability to applaud her while simultaneously shit-talking the guys he plays alongside. She’s tempted to start attending the boys lacrosse games just to double check his claims.  

“I suppose that’s a compliment?” she asks, her tone getting just a bit softer. 

Jean gives her a nod. “It is.” 

For a brief second, Mikasa glances down to her cleats. They’re muddier than she thought they were. 

“I’m not good at taking those,” she says in a voice that’s more like a whisper. 

When she looks up again there’s a sense of sincerity in Jean’s eyes. She’s only realized now that they’re hazel. The hue goes well with the ashy brown tones of his hair. 

“Then you better learn,” Jean tells her, and his voice becomes warm and gentle. 

Mikasa’s grasp around the papers tightens as a rush of warmth surges to her face, but she doesn’t know why. 

Jean’s smile persists, and when he voids her gaze again he seems to be having a short, private moment to himself. Mikasa can practically see the gears turning in his head, but she can’t quite pinpoint what he’s thinking about. 

When he looks at her once, he manages a polite nod. 

“See you at study hall, Mikasa,” Jean says, and the way her name rolls off his lips feels so effortless. 

Jean turns around and walks away from the field. For a few moments, Mikasa remains where she is and watches him leave until he is a speck between the bleachers and the running track.

Once he’s gone, she folds the notes in her hands and walks to her backpack at the bottom of the bleachers. She has no choice but to stash them somewhere until Sasha’s done rolling in the mud. As she sits down to put the papers away, her eyes glance upon the scribble-like penmanship on the pages. 

Her heart skips a beat when she recognizes the handwriting. 

[freebooter4ever]

Blah blah blah about love under the cut

One thing about daphne and the duke - she says these things, and immediately things magically work out because its TV fantasy land. But...at least in my limited experience...it takes a long time for the nice things to sink in past the bad things. Like it would take the patience of somebody repeating those words across a longer span of time.

There was one thing that startled me with my latest romantic failure - and it had absolutely nothing to do with pilot boy himself.

see, i have never really understood the whole 'bringing someone home to meet the parents' and how big of a deal it was in movies and books. It always baffled me. I never cared what my parents thought of people i dated or wanted to date and the only person i ever brought home was The Ex in 2010 and even then it was less 'do you approve?' and more 'i love him and idgaf about your opinon but i want to show him off'. My poor Ex endured an entire two hour long interrogation by my grandparents and i had to hold his hand the entire time, he was very shy.

BUT now, here in LA, i met my friend over at the artist's house, and that was in 2018 so a number of years ago. And slowly, over the years, i've grown closer and closer with them and their family, and they've kinda been a guide in this city. And there was that one time in 2019 where someone automatically assumed i was their daughter and neither of us corrected the person lol. And i have kind of basically been adopted by their family, even despite my best attempts to keep a respectful distance during like holidays and stuff. But i still go to them first whenever i have problems, and some days i have no idea how i ever lived without them. And everytime i think i have fucked up and made a mistake we remain friends - or apologize to each other if necessary, and things always always return to that warm, platonic, familial love.

and you know, for the fist time, ever, in my entire life....when i was dating Pilot Boy, i realized that Bringing The Significant Other Home To Meet Family was a big deal for me. And it was going to mean bringing him to the artist's house. Of course, Pilot Boy and i never got into a serious enough relationship to reach that point, but i definitely had a bit of an existential crisis over realizing that i actually wanted to hear the judgement of someone who was like a parent to me. I don't even know how to explain how much of a change of mindset it was, how odd it felt. And it's not like I have never dated anyone else in LA - there was Hiker Boy for like 3ish years of casual dating and not once did i even think about it. And that one guy E, who i didn't even mention to my friend. Like, this was definitely an accumulation of slowly starting to trust that the concept of having a 'parent' figure in my life was a good thing, rather than something scary.

I remember my mother would go through phases. If she was single suddenly she would go on rants about how being single was the normal thing and anyone who believed they could stay coupled forever was abnormal and weird. I never minded this phase because i was always single so always met that approval. But the other phase, when she was in a relationship, meant that she would talk about how anybody who wasn't in a relationship was weird and probably repulsive, and how being in a couple is the natural order of things (unless its a gay couple in which case absolutely they can marry but dont have children because it will fuck the kids up mentally). And of course during these times she would berate me for never dating.

And then one time when i was 24 two things happened: that summer she visited me in pittsburgh and escalated from emotional/verbal abuse and slapping to full physical abuse. And then months later when i visited my grandparents in seattle she invited me to a 'wine tasting and cooking lesson' with some VIPs at her work. And i went, and it was in this industrial area of seattle with this ridiculously fancy farm to table rich people type kitchen set up. And the chef was this ridiculously tall dark and handsome young man about my age from argentina. I was flustered, and the guy totally knew it, and found it funny. I could barely string two words together and he was teasing me the whole night, kept picking me for the demonstrations, etc, you know how it goes. It was very entertaining and i appreciated he at least wasnt being mean about my obvious attraction to him.

Anyway by the end of the night my mom was visibly tipsy. This scared the shit out of me. My mom is mean when she doesn't drink, but when she has just the right amount of alochol she's totally normal and fully functional and you don't notice. So the fact that i could see her slurring her speech and being unable to walk straight meant she had more than her normal amount which meant a LOT. And as we said goodnight to the fancy VIPs she was embarrassing herself in front of, and walking to her car, she turned to me and said 'you know the chef was flirting with you all night'. And i was fully prepared to correct her because at that point i'd had at least one boyfriend and thought i knew what flirting was and teasing isnt the same at all. But i didnt get a chance because she also said something like: 'he was only flirting with you because you were the only person his age in the entire room. That's the type of guy who only goes for pretty girls, not you.' and then she wouldn't let me take her keys to drive us home. And i was too scared of her to force her to give them to me. And that was the last time i've seen my mom. Because her driving home so drunk she was obviously mentally and physically impaired was the last straw for me - one of my friends mothers was killed by a drunk driver when we were kids. And if i was too scared of my mom to do my part to stop that from ever happening again, then it was time for me to admit i couldnt handle this. Its been 11 years and i dont regret it, although sometimes i still have nightmares of her finding me and gaining control over me again like when i was a kid. But i also never forgot that comment - that explained so much. How she would rant about how weird it was that i was single, but she never really truly believed i was the kind of girl anybody would want as a 'girlfriend' anyway.

Contrast this with my friend at the artist house. Who at one low point this week, i called up to cry on their shoulder over work drama and how helpless i felt. And somehow they mixed up the current situation with Pilot Boy. And they started talking about the kind of ideal person they imagined me dating, and said a lot of stuff about someone who 'saw me for how wonderful i was' - i dont know honestly i couldnt listen to most of it, my brain just tuned it out. And i laughed and corrected them that no the person i was dating a month ago was 'Pilot Boy' and this guy currently was someone who - under no circumstances even if it meant being single forever - i wouldn't want to date. And then i stopped and thought for a little bit and realized that if i can change my mind about not wanting to ever have a parent in my life, and have those 'normal' things like the 'bring a date home to meet the parents' type experiences... That maybe one day the conviction in me that believes nobody would ever choose to date me or value me or consider me worthwhile....that maybe that could change too. And then maybe my friend's speech about someone valuing me wasnt so totally unbelievable and impossible. It still seems extremely farfetched to me, and I'm totally happy with just being able to know that my friend at least genuinely believes someone should be able to romantically love me one day. Like that's way more than i've ever had before. I should be grateful for that.

Anyway, yeah, if penelope's arc is something like that....then i might be interested. Because all we've seen from penelope's mother is her dismissing her daughter over and over again as being nothing worthwhile.

[daydream-comet]

OH YEAH :3 i'm curious. what are your favorite parts of v-force/2002? i'm personally big on the digital sacred beasts (or atleast, that plotline from yuya onward, the first 15 eps of the season are kind of a blur to me) and.. ok i can't say zeo's plotline was pulled off Well but i love zeo as a character they are SO fascinating to me.

Well my favorite plotline from the season itself would be Zeo's one, while if we're talking about vforce as a whole then the movie's. The movie had a interesting plotline, and revealed a lot of info about the sacred beasts as well, though not everything was fully disclosed, it seemed they were heading somewhere with it but with grev sorta diminishing the presence of the sacred beasts I think it was dropped. Oh, and the cave scene. I....have a lot of talk about that one, I'm a bit too crazy and delusional about that particular scene to the point it'll need a separate post if its own (if I ever overcome my social anxiety and copy paste everything here)

Zeo is definitely one of my favorite characters in vforce (its the hair that started it I swear I want his hairstyle so bad) and surprisingly he was like one of the things I vividly remembered from my childhood when I was rewatching the series (now that I think about it, my fuzzy memories of beyblade as a child were mostly 60% vforce, 30% season 1 and 10% grev. Mainly because i think i missed a lot of grev as a child when it was airing and mostly caught onto the other two seasons). And yea while i do think if like the writers would've been given more time Zeo's arc along with the other arcs wouldn't have been so rushed, but still i think they did a good enough job, because I was definitely hooked during the final arc. Zeo is also an interesting character to analyse, like he was like first character to give the team a sense of normalcy because throughout the entire season everyone they had met was out for their asses and they couldn't catch a break nor could they have a normal beybattle like they used to without significant consequences. Also wished we got more of Zeo's existential crisis, how it affected and changed him and how he recovers from it and accepts himself (we see in that slideshow final ending in grev with Zeo looking through the window holding a violin. So it seems he found comfort in his hobby). Also that Zeo finding out about his true identity also helped him grow and mature in a sense (a person can't grow up without having to endure hardships, can they?). Like when we see him later on he's stronger and smarter.

Like here Zeo knew exactly what to say to get under Takao's skin (and Takao's emotional attachment to Zeo amplified the impact, along with Takao still trying to grasp as to why Zeo is doing this) and that Zeo is right here in a sense. They didnt interfere due to multiple justified reasons (they wanted to, but couldn't. And even if they did, not much would've changed), but it didn't change the fact that they didn't do anything, and Zeo just rubs some salt on the fresh wound. And in the jp voice acting, while it was faint, Zeo kind of sounded sad when saying "no one will come to help you". If we think about the situation Zeo is in, its....true. no one really can help Zeo even if they wanted to, all they could do was offer words of consolation and comfort. And Zeo was doing all this for self preservation (and I guess daddy issues, Dr. Zagart is....incredibly questionable), but deep down i guess he knew that there really wasn't much he could do to become human, become the 'real' Zeo who died long ago. He just didn't wanted to live his life as a phony, it was all just an act of desperation (just look at him breaking his arm and still going on, isn't that a good example?). And like at the finale while Takao does offer closure to Zeo, the fact remains the same that Zeo can't become someone else and must learn to accept who he is, which he slowly starts to embark on (and if Takao, or anyone really, would've said that earlier it wouldn't have had the same impact, Zeo needed to find his way on his own terms)

And as to the impact Zeo had with his words on Takao, he's literally repeating Zeo's words here and musing over the complicated and conflicting scenario for the majority of the episode while everyone is rightfully shocked to see it coming out of his mouth, not really aware of that little exchange he had with Zeo previously.

All in all I love Zeo, I love the small moments where vforce really gets to shine, I just wished they got more time to expand and explore the entire storyline they were working upon into like two seasons instead of dumping it all into one season. I am, uh, understandably kinda crazy over this show and won't stop overanalysing it. This post is pretty much word vomit and probably doesn't make much sense. Uh. Bye.

[deus-ex-mona]

rating as many hw anime projects as i could find bc i have no life

spoilers? spoilers~~~

the nacchan movie

it was o k. it had a pretty standard and rather unremarkable storyline tbh. but that nacchan confession montage was pretty funny. though i wish we could’ve seen more of mochiaka. easy 6/10.

the shower/bath montage was very much unnecessary though.

the hina movie

as a standalone movie by itself, 4/10. confusing characters (arisa), messy and rushed plot (the middle school flashback sequence was way too long for a 1h movie), and the main couple of the movie (koyuhina) barely interacted. heck, hina spent the majority of the movie running away from yukki. rip tbh :(

as part of the series as a whole, 2/10.

reading the heart no shuchou novel should be a pre-requisite to watching the movie, as it explains why arisa was so darned weird during her interactions with yukki. and speaking of arisa, they got their portrayal of karen completely wrong (rip). granted, otome domoyo. came out after the movie, but still—

though, while we’re on the topic of ✨continuity✨, the fact that there were lxl promos in the burger joint despite lxl having not even debuted yet at that point in the timeline is just. very questionable in hindsight.

also!!! koyuhina interactions where??? gardening club trio w h e r e ??? for a movie with koyuhina focus, this movie was remarkably not about koyuhina.

seriously, just read the ima suki ni naru. prologue manga instead. it’s p much the same story, but it flows much better (like, the setoguchi siblings’ terekakushi shishunki scene takes place at the end of the manga post-rejection instead of how it has occurred right smack in the middle of the movie with no explanation). and there’s no continuity-breaking burger joint scene either s o there—

the midosena short

it was kinda cute, but it also isn’t anything you haven’t already seen in the midosena mvs. 7/10.

the harucouple anime

it’s remarkable how unremarkable it was. the best part of the anime was tokyo winter session tbh, and that was the ending theme.

miou’s character kinda sucked in the anime ngl, with her blaming herself for chiaki’s death, distancing herself from haruki, only to slap him for wanting to give up on his dream following his existential crisis that had resulted from said distancing.

also, needs more mochiaka.

anime-haruki deserves better. 3/10.

the lxl mvm

fruity, while both remaining (kinda) canon-compliant and establishing aizo as the male protagonist of gen 3. plus, sena was really cute in the romeo mv scenes, so she gets points of her own too.

bond girl yujiro (as seen in the pic above) was pretty funny though ngl. 8/10.

the lxl movie

fruity, but canon-breaking, as it completely disregards both the romeo mvm and the romeo novel. plus, the timeline clearly wouldn’t have worked out??? i mean c’mon. you’re telling me that these two complete nobodies managed to get popular enough to fill a live arena over the span of less than half a year just from a pocky collab? if you told me it took them over a year to get that far, sure, but.. they haven’t even filmed their romeo mv yet in the movie… so?? i???? lol???

also, this only further confirmed aizo as the protag (rip yujiro; boy wanted to stand onstage to be seen for himself and his talents, only to be completely outshadowed by his own partner who dances like a 🪳). the anime had dai moments though, so that alone brings the total score up to 6/10. thanks dai. ily <3

the [redacted] anime

i think i’ve made my stance on the [redacted] anime very clear in my way too many posts. in comparison to the other anime projects though? 1/10.

at least the other anime projects kept their characters (or, at least, most of their characters *cough* harucouple anime miou *cough*) relatively close to their original counterparts, instead of completely butchering each and every single one of them. like, seriously, no one was spared. not the main leads (hiyori and lxl), not the side characters (gen 2), and even tamura, uchida, and ft4 were nerfed smh.

[r3dblccd]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU !

respond to the following prompts. include as much or as little as you want; you don't have to answer them all !

tagged by: @rainyearning

tagging: @luneblush, @moonpierces, @formorethananame, @weedzkiller, @dozenrozez, @wcvensouls, @honeycoded, @cherridream, @caelcstis, @blondiexbiites

name / alias. Rose

birthday. 12 February

zodiac sign. Aquarius

height. 150 cm (as mentioned sometimes before, I bite ankles)

hobbies. Listening to music, reading, writing, drawing, journaling, dancing, biting ankles, having existential crisis

favorite color. Red

favorite book. It's so hard to pick though! I'd say maybe the Rat trilogy by Haruki Murakami

last show. I honestly don't remember. I think it was the short series Choco Milk Shake. Idk what I'm gonna watch next, there are so many I still have to catch up on like WWDITS, My Beautiful Man, Our Flag Mean Death, Good Omens, Yellowjackets, Alice in Borderland, and now Sweet Home season 2.

sources of inspiration. I draw inspiration and ideas from various sources, be it movies, tv series, books, webtoons, video games, music, what have you.

story behind url. It's taken from the bridge of Enhypen's Given-Taken. Most of you all probably probably already know, but I just love vampires and everything magical and supernatural and wonderful and terrifying. And it just made sense with the majority of the muses that I have for the url to be this.

recent read. I moved this here for last so you can skip reading me ramble if you want. (I tell you, it's long, don't say I didn't warn you)

There have been so many things I've read in the past few months for my classic literature discipline in uni, mainly classic Greek literature and theatre, we've only recently dived in early roman literature and works from the Western European Middle Ages, our professor is kicking our asses off, but honestly these are one of my favourite classes out of the whole semester. But anyway, I actually just now finished reading The Romance of Tristan and Iseult by Joseph Bedier. Not bad, I must say. It has never been really my cup of tea to read romance stories, but at least it was much more interesting to read that than to read The Golden Ass (that one wasn't bad either, if we overlook some parts of it, yeah, I admit, but it was so unnecessary long in my opinion, I was literally falling asleep while reading it). If I had to pick which of the works I've read so far is my favourite, I'd have to say I really liked the tragedy Medea by Euripides (our professor once told us a story how she watched it being played out for the only time at the theatre in the city that we call our cultural center and how suddenly it started to rain and there was a thunder during the monologue of Medea and how it felt like nature was out there for the heroine and as if it was listening to her and answering her word, and the actress just kept playing her role in the water and when she was done, the rain suddenly stopped as if on cue and the sky was suddenly as clear as day again, and damn, I wish I was there to see it myself, I don't even care if I got drenched, I got chills just listening to that story. That was basically a once in a lifetime experience. But ANYWAY! The story itself is great, I really loved it.) and I also liked the comedy Frogs by Aristophanes, despite the message that the author was trying to convey at that time period.

As for my free time, I'm still reading The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams and I'm pretty close to finishing the second book from the whole series (The Restaurant at The End of The Universe), probably in a week or two I'll start the third book Life, the Universe and Everything. And I really love it so far. There so many funny and straight up absurd moment in the story and I love the group of main characters in it. My heart goes out to the robot Marvin, idk if I will see you again in the following books, Marvin, but you're a big mood, I feel you.

As for my annual update on Webtoons I am reading! Right now I'm reading Everything Is Fine, Homesick, Never-Ending Darling, Omniscient Reader, My S-Class Hunter, ZOMGAN, There Are No Demons (the art style for this series is very uncanny valley but in a cool way, I love it), Nocturne, The Guy Upstairs, Lore Olympus and Zombie X Slasher (and interesting way to take the zombie genre and create a story, I must say, I don't think I've seen anyone do this before, I look forward to what the author can offer). And I recently finished Surivival Diary, Dark Moon: The Blood Altar, The Star Seekers, Crimson Heart and soon I'll be finishing Dark Moon: The Grey City Too.

And a webtoon I recently finished too was Survival Romance and I just gotta give a shoutout to it. That webtoon took me completely by surprise. It wasn't the cute art style that made it unique, there are many stories that look cute on the outside that hide something dark and sinister underneath (like Everything Is Fine, for example). I knew this webtoon is horror, so at first I expected maybe one of the characters would be a yandere or something like that and the MC would be trying to escape that. And yes, there is one side character that could be considered obsessive in a way in parts of the webtoon, but the story wasn't about that at all. The author just took the romance and horror genres and turned them on their heads. The whole story isn't all that much about romance at all, actually, it's about forming friendships and bonds with people and having the will to keep pushing forward despite all the struggles you might be going through. The plot twists were SO GOOD, even though some could have been quite easy to predict. I also loved that the author put some meta and breaking the forth wall moments (Doki Doki Literature Club style is the closest association I could think of for this webtoon, kind of) and by the end all the characters [REDACTED, NO SPOILERS, GO READ IT YOURSELF IF YOU'RE CURIOUS]. The message is also very nice, the closing words in the epilogue honestly hit quite close to home and made me bawl my eyes out. The story also has zombies in a quite a unique way in my opinion. So if like dark stories with twists and turns and a meaningful message, and if in any way I piqued you're interest, go and check it out. I'm sure you won't be left disappointed. I could honestly write way more about this webtoon, but I already wrote a lot, so I'm gonna stop here.

[symphonxx]

So, in the midst of scrolling through tiktok nd waiting for kubosai content, i stumbled upon sumn I should’ve watched back during quarantine.

Cherry Magic. ( or Cherry Magic! 30歳まで童貞だと魔法使いになれるらしい )

It never occurred to me that i should watch it until two days ago, when a video a close friend of mine reposted came up. Despite having told myself that i might watch it back in 2020 when it came out, i never actually got to watching it but now that i did, I want to say that, its a fkin masterpiece.

Adachi nd Kurosawa have such a lovely relationship, that doesn’t necessarily revolve around sex ( something that i try to put off from most BL’s ppl around me have introduced ). The side characters are all well written and really memorable despite the little scenes they have with the main protagonists.

My favourites are definitely Adachi, Kurosawa, Rokkaku and Fujisaki! They’re all so sweet to each other nd their dynamic makes it more or less sweeter!! The way they ( Adachi nd Kurosawa ) inspire both Fujisaki and Rokkaku in their own ways. But despite the little ( i mean, does it count as little?? They do have alot of screentime together??? ) scenes they have, they do make their scenes worthwhile to watch and man they are js so adorable everytime they come up 😭😭

Adachi and Kurosawa on the other hand, are rlly rlly cute. Their relationship makes me crumble and fold.

Kurosawa is such a green flag. The way he wants to hold and kiss Adachi but holds back from his urges bcs he cares more abt Adachi than his own urges. Sure its basic human decency but seeing it actually being well-portrayed in a BL show ( not that I rarely see it, its more of most Japanese shows being weird nd stuff ykwim? ) makes it so much more refreshing to watch. Also the way he cares so so much abt Adachi? He could sense if Adachi is more gloomier, picks up on the lil quirks Adachi has, makes sure Adachi is smiling most of the time bcs he enjoys seeing him happy more than he enjoys seeing him being upset etc etc. It’s js so heartwarming and Kurosawa doesnt even have mind reading powers to do that. He supports Adachi all the way, even spending days trying to help Adachi perfect his presentation skills nd stuff nd js ughhhhh-

Adachi, is incredibly cute as well, his little bedhead, the funny monologues he does in his head, his existential crisis’ everytime he hears Kurosawa’s thoughts, the amount of “ Ehs “ he says and the way he thinks so lowly of himself makes his character relatable and endearing. He gets so excited about the thought of being popular or being an inspiration but immediately turns the idea down due to some unforeseen circumstances or js bcs of his thoughts. He sees himself as a normal boring person, doing normal boring things in his life. Hell, even we see that Kurosawa thought of him that way too before he fell for him. Everyday is the same for him etc, at one point when Urabe-san, his senior, suggests dating Fujisaki-san, he instantly turns down the idea. Even after thinking abt it, he turns it down bcs he thinks it would be impossible ( to an extent ).

But despite all that, Kurosawa and the others genuinely think of him as an incredibly hardworking, reliable and kind colleague to have around their work place. Even though he used to pick things up through his mind reading powers, he does show that, even without it, hes still as kind and reliable.

The show is so amazing and im planning to watch the others ( eg. the movie, the manga, the anime?? ) because i just cant get enough of them!!

Also i cant do reviews for the life of me so this would be the longest you get out of me yet. I usually attempt to ramble a whole abt my fav shows or anything but whenever i try, my brain melts or get all woozy at the thought of them bcs I JUST LOVE THEM SO SO MUCHHHH !!!!

Anyways, I’ll do another Kubosai post soon.

[owltypical]

super long dump post about various irl things

a coworker of mine passed away at the beginning of the week. he’d actually left the company back in september, so i hadn’t seen him in several months, and i wouldn’t say we were super close, but. he was on my team, and we saw each other and talked and interacted and spent time together at work hangouts pretty much constantly over several years.

he was only 29. not sure how it happened, just that we heard from his family that it had, and his memorial page and viewing/funeral times were shared with us. it was definitely a great shock to us, i hid myself in the bathroom for a bit and cried. hadn’t cried properly in a long time due to my brain meds, so i had a sadness headache for a couple days.

he was a very pleasant, polite, and nice young dude. politics rarely come up at work though i knew he came from a religious catholic conservative background, but he was pretty socially conscious and angry/disillusioned about a lot of the shit he saw going on; i saw him grow from those roots over that time and i wonder how he’d turn out in the end if he’d been given proper time to finish growing. one of the kindest, most patient phone voices i ever heard.

it sucks so extra hard when somebody suddenly dies young like that. technically he was already out of my life when it happened, but that’s the closest to someone’s death i’ve been in ages, possibly ever, other than i suppose my cousin who passed away a few years ago. i’ve never been to a funeral, the few deaths i’ve encountered have been very distant and slightly unreal, even with family. but this was someone i knew and saw irl and who was part of my everyday life for quite a while; now he’s just suddenly gone, he’s ceased to exist. just memories and pictures.

literally the next morning after that another of our team members had some sort of medical episode at work; paramedics came and took her away in an ambulance. not sure what happened, she seems to be fine now thank god, but it was very scary at the time. that one-two punch in less than 24 hours made for a very mentally and emotionally strained week for us; so far 2023 for me has been kind of muted and spent grieving.

speaking of brain meds: started a new mixed dosage of stuff just today. the previous prescription was helping, but not enough, and had side effects that i felt were hampering my progress elsewhere. hopefully this new combo works out! i want more energy during the day, i want to sleep better at night, i want to have this dumb brain in a more orderly shape. i want to feel artistic and draw again.

not sure what i’ll do if i start feeling better about art again, though. i keep fretting that i just don’t have it in me to do big detailed print-ready longform comic stories, and never really have, despite how many times i’ve tried over the years. maybe i really do just need a partner to work with, i don’t know. i’m also second-guesing myself about the overall setting of outliers. i was always very tickled by weird/background stuff in comic book superhero settings since my youth, but the last few years i’ve completely soured on exactly that; the absolute glut of comic book movies and tv series have been overwhelming and tiring and obnoxious, it’s made me very jaded about the whole thing. and i don’t want to be seen as part of riding on that particular bandwagon either.

kind of trying to figure out what the hell to do in general. i make enough to survive just fine, but not enough to actually grow or go anywhere or make any real changes. affordable housing is nonexistent these days, absolutely everywhere, not just the places i would actually be interested in moving to. wages suck, everything costs way more now, good luck getting where you’d like to go without selling a few organs and cramming into some hole with three other equally desperate roommates. i’d donate plasma but apparently one of my arms has bad invisible veins so i got told to go away.

it’s real existential crisis times over here, i guess. i’m less than two years away from 40 now; i thought i had more time to figure some things out but an injury and good ol’ covid stole a large chunk of my prime 30s away from me. i want to move and improve my station in life, but how? i want a partner, but dating’s hard, especially the older you get and especially when you’re ace. i want to draw, but i worry that i don’t truly have the stamina and time to do everything i want to do, and that i’m running out of time in general. it’s stupid, i know it’s just youth-oriented culture and the world’s aggressive ageism messing with me, but it’s hard to feel like the countdown to 40 isn’t some sort of doomsday clock terror. too late for love, too late for family, too late for careers and making something of myself artistically. brains are stupid.

well. here’s to the brain in question getting better via updated meds, and here’s to 2023 having something good happen during it, i suppose. i hope.

[brokenhardies]

8 & 9 - Salty asks

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?*

I received anon hate once, but it was so long ago I don't really remember it.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

oh boy here we go;

Andrew motherfucking Hartford. I could do an entire essay as to why his character pisses me off more than most villains in the Power Rangers franchise, but I don't want to bother anyone with the details, so here's the cribnotes version

he abandons his son to go out on adventures and dooms the world by finding the corona aurora - which he had to had known contained flurious and moltor before he found it, like the myths were well known

in order to make up for his almost world-ending mistake, he creates a team of power rangers and appoints himself the leader, without even saying or doing anything

during his time as the rangers' mentor, he basically forces them to focus on the jewel quest - unless its convenient to him - and gets to the point where he bars dax from attempting to look for a movie script while working as a ranger - meanwhile the rangers in mmpr were allowed to be students, work part time jobs and be rangers and no one complained or so much as batted an eye

the rangers immediately believe that the retro rangers are going to replace them when they lose their powers, which has to be something that hartford drilled into them offscreen, because of how sudden their quitting is

he pretends to kick will from the team, only to do a whole 'trust exercise' that makes the team believe will has joined the bad guys side and is now willing to harm them using his ranger powers to get to the jewels before them

like im amazed that the team still trusted hartford after that stunt

then its revealed that mack was a robot made by hartford, who made mack for the sole reason of wanting a son but being unable to find the right woman, and he specifically made the son a teenager bc i think he liked the idea of a son but didn't want to do any of the family bonding shit with him (which is an idea that the morphin grid podcast put into my head), making mack have an existential crisis and (to quote @wherabouts-of-light) "grow insanely suicidal for them to just allow in a disney show"

then at the end of the series, after mack is made human and they can go on adventures, he starts a robotics company and pimps out his android daughter (or granddaughter, im not sure j-borg's relationship to the hartfords) to a BuzzFeed expy!

because of covid, we have no idea if mack is aware of this or not, or what his reaction is, and for all we know it could just be a silly easter egg to tie dino fury to the disney era as well but still!

to make this worse, while j-borg is reportedly coming back for cosmic fury, i doubt they're going to address her relationship to hartford at all meaning whether or not mack knows that his own father is using his past as a way to make money might just be a mystery!

The funny thing is Andrew Hartford is not as bad as the worst mother in all of television (Wendy Spector, who also was in the running for this question due to abusing her son so badly he developed DID for a mistake she made) but dear god for Power Rangers? Yeah, this man is utterly despicable, only gets called on it by Mack, and at the end of the series, they forgive each other??? Like WTF Power Rangers??? WTF????

[petrorabbit]

Let's Watch Batman: The Adam West One

Chronologically, the next movie is actually Batman Dracula (1964) by Andy Warhol, but unfortunately that is lost media. Instead, let’s move straight on to Batman: The Movie (1966), starring Adam West.

This is more something that I noticed during the serial, but a bunch of iconic stuff in the Adam West version is directly parodying the serials. Stuff like the fighting style and scaling the wall with grappling hooks is pretty definitely a direct reference. So, that’s nice context to have.

Something that I think is very funny about this movie is the huge emphasis on modes of transportation. We get the batmobile, the batcopter, the batboat, the batbike (I know those names are wrong, don't @ me) and then an extended sequence where Batman and Robin just run. Obviously this is because little boys love vehicles, but I still enjoyed it. I wonder how many of these things were sold as toys at the time?

The premise is that the Joker, the Penguin, the Riddler and Catwoman are all teaming up to dehydrate the UN security council and hold them for ransom. Notably, the Joker contributes absolutely nothing the whole movie. Everyone else is adding their little touch to the plan and Joker is literally just standing around giggling. 

Catwoman is the ringleader, and she also has an alter ego, a Russian reporter named Kitayna Ireyna Tatanya Kerenska Alisoff, who goes by Kitka, because it’s an acronym of her name. This really bothered me for no good reason, because Kitka could also just be a nickname for Kitayna. Like, why was the acronym thing necessary. I realize this doesn’t matter but it bothered me, okay.

At one point, Bruce goes on a date with Kitka for the purpose of luring out the rogues, who they think are after her. Since this is a sting operation, Dick and Alfred are watching from the car. Despite this, Bruce gets super horny and is absolutely going to bone down with Kitka even though he knows his father and son are watching him. Dick turns off the monitor because he doesn’t need that in his life, allowing Bruce to get kidnapped, but I can’t blame him for that one. Keep it in your pants, buddy.

This is another movie where Batman and Robin are working for the authorities. They very confidently announce that they are NOT vigilantes, they have deputized by the Gotham City Police Department! It’s lowkey kinda funny how different that line hits now. Can’t believe Batman and Robin are bootlickers. Well, Dick I can believe.

They also kill people in this movie! Not, like, super on purpose, but people die and they don’t care at all. This happened in the 1943 serial too. I guess it’s surprising to me because the Morality of Killing is such a hot topic in Batman now, but in this pre-Jason world, it straight up isn’t important. There’s this mildly horrifying sequence where a bunch of Penguin’s henchmen are dehydrated and brought back wrong, and they just explode on contact. Dead without even a body. This was one of two scenes that my dad informed me gave me nightmares as a child, the other being the one at the end where it is revealed that by mixing up the sand of the dehydrated UN security council, they all speak a different language now after being rehydrated. But what else did they lose? Their memories? Their souls? Chilling. Shout out to baby my dad for having an existential crisis about this.

I don’t know that I have much else to say about this one. Shark Repellent Batspray is still very funny. Burt Ward looked pretty good, imo, I feel like people are always dunking on him. Oh, apparently there was an old woman who lived with them in the show??? She has no lines but she’s there for a minute with Alfred. Who is this person. I’m not going to look it up because I don’t care, but there it is.

[bromcommie]

Okay, bear with me as I dig way too deep into a scene that was just meant to be a) nostalgic, b) the writers directly telling the audience the emotional state and thought process of the main character, and c) a "previously on" romance reminder, because god forbid your superhero movie have no tangible heterosexual romance subplots or implications:

I never really thought too much about the part of Steve and Peggy's conversation in the nursing home where she tells him he's "so dramatic" for having all of these existential doubts outside of how it's meant to indicate a certain degree of joking familiarity. And while sure, I feel like there's still some of that, the more I think about it the more her dismissiveness feels like an insight into Peggy's own guilt and just how morally grey and yet uncompromising in her own conviction she had to have gotten as the Cold War went on. And the more I consider that, the more the fact of Steve coming back starts to look like something of a wrench in the works of justifying all of it. Her following line, while essentially a reassurance directed at him—"You saved the world. We rather mucked it up"— starts to feel like a very binary, black and white response to Steve's all-encompassing crisis moment. There's something of an attempt at reinforcing the ideal of Steve she has in her head in order to momentarily go back to the “simple" glory days to it, as well as an old woman's rueful but ultimately half-hearted confession—which Steve doesn't really accept because he's also operating off of and clinging to a long-gone idea of her he has in his head.

The more you take into consideration everything we know about these characters outside the whole surface sentiment of, "gee, ain't their missed opportunity sad", the more the whole dialogue no longer reads as just two people who used to know each other reminiscing about The Old Times. It reads as two people that used to know each other during an intense but relatively brief period of their lives and that, yes, didn't have enough time to further explore or fully actualize that at all, let alone in peacetime circumstances, but that have also had wildly different life experiences since. Two people who now, for one reason or another, need the other to remain unchanged from who they believed them to be in the first place, to the point that they're simply not hearing each other at all. Steve needs the reassurance of someone familiar understanding where he’s coming from, but Peggy’s no longer that person, if she ever could’ve been completely; Peggy wants the reassurance that she built her post-war life on the right sentiment, and at least she gets Steve’s blind support, if not his absolution—if only because he doesn't know enough to grant it, or is unwilling to consider that Peggy is not the person he thought she was.

I mean if you look at Agent Carter it's pretty clear that while sure, Peggy might've known Steve better than the average joe off the street, his death and martyrdom still cemented an idea of him she formed over that year and a half or so of knowing him, which is very much not the same as the real thing, and that idea was importantly also influenced by her guilt over watching him die. Adding to that, I'm sure the more time passed the harder it would've been for her to actually divorce Steve as the person she knew once from the two-dimensional archetype of him, much like the rest of the world couldn't, as well as from the embodiment of her own failure. And conscious or not she probably wouldn't want to, either, seeing as how she probably clung to that steady, easily adaptable memory of a memory of Steve as an additional source of drive and justification in her own work. I’d even go so far as to say that it in itself definitely proved far more comforting than having the real Steve there to witness all the horrendous machinations conducted by the US intelligence apparatus at the time ever would’ve.

So when the miraculously alive, flesh and blood version of him expresses such fundamental doubt in the present day (while working for the organization she built and named after him, no less), after she's lived this whole life during which I have to imagine she continually convinced herself she was participating in all of these increasingly morally fucked things for the ultimate good of mankind (as well as partly in Steve's memory), that's a hell of an unwitting attack on her own legacy and character. From her end-of-life perspective, it's just easier to attempt to smooth over Steve's uneasiness, to label him a bit too brooding, too naive and black and white and idealistic, to say you're overreacting, while maybe thinking you have no fucking idea what real uncertainty feels like, rather than to in that moment acknowledge the weight of every choice she's made and to then have to entertain a very uncomfortable thought:

If Steve—this noble, heroic, stalwart Steve from her memories and the newsreels and the emblem of SHIELD, this walking embodiment of some personal ideal she's held up on a pedestal for god knows how long—isn’t actually all that unshakeable and doesn't know if he's working towards the right thing in this world she helped build, in these times that she probably views as much more stable than the ones she came up in/feels like she had to overcome, then what the hell does that say about the rest of them and how convinced they were that they were in the right? If Steve can doubt then he can also pass judgement, and what would he have thought about what Peggy and Howard were doing all that time? (Which is a question I'm sure would've come up many times in the early years, before she started to repress it eventually, or otherwise rationalized the answer to it.)

And what does it say about her own convictions during all those years?

So in the end what is meant as a soothing gesture ends up simultaneously propping Steve up as the two-dimensional epitome of a "do-no-wrong" time in American history—much in the same way the exhibit does, might I add—while also coming across as weirdly infantilizing and invalidating of his feelings on something as significant as his direction in life. I don’t think it’s a purposefully belittling move—I do think she’s actually trying to make Steve feel better, if in the same way she would an upset child, and on the surface the “none of us can go back” line is sound advice for someone in his position (laughably ignored later by the very same people that wrote it in the first place, but let’s not get into that)—but if we’re to take into account everything we’re left to assume about her conveniently off-screen life and career in intelligence, that whole “just get over yourself and move on” sentiment takes on a completely different, unsettling note.

oh man....thoughts on that peggy scene.... to come later

[22hounds]

tickets for ; bangtan reactions

now playing ; you initiating your first kiss together

cast list : kim namjoon, kim seokjin, min yoongi, jung hoseok

kim namjoon 

- he did not see it coming

- he took you on a movie date, you held hands, shared drinks, and yet this man did not see this coming

- he’s floored. absolutely floored. eyes glancing everywhere, cheeks flushing, stuttering kind of floored

- meanwhile you’re just standin there like 🧍

- internally you’re panicking

- what if you read the situation wrong WHAT THEN HE’S GOING TO HATE YOU FOREVER AND YOU’RE GONNA LET THIS GREEK GOD OF A MAN SLIP BY YOUR CLAWS

- i can promise you the man is contemplating getting on one knee and proclaiming his undying love for you you’re fine

- your little internal battle is interrupted with a heavy hand clapping onto your back

- you had to wait twenty minutes for him to finally get his shit together and tell you he doesn’t despise you and doesn’t want to murder you

- you look up and see that he has the biggest smile on his face 

- you can’t help but give him another kiss

- his grin, his dimples, and his arm around your waist

- you smile because you think that’s the only sight you’ll like to see that sight for a lot longer

kim seokjin

- HELLO?? EXCUSE ME??

- HE was supposed to fluster you, not the other way around

- the disrespect. the audacity.

- claps a hand over his mouth and clutches his heart

- “___...how could you do this to a pure, unsuspecting maiden like me 😔”

- you want to strangle him and kiss him again at the same time

- he would rather fling himself off a cliff than admit it but he’s blushing juuuuust a little

- just very little. infinitesimal. a tiny bit.

- he’s definitely not sweating either. no. not nervous at the least.

- tries his best to make fun of the situation but you being your smart amazing muscular all knowing self you see through it

- but because you’re a little shit like him you decide to tease him even more

- wrap your arms around his neck, kissing his jaw, ruffling his hair and all that

- he’s literally beet red but he’s still in denial that he was the one being teased for once

- eventually you let go of him and for revenge he pulls you in to another kiss

- you don’t really mind, no

min yoongi

- malfunctions a little

- by malfunctioning i mean he freezes and drops his waving hand down

- he’s trying to process the fact that you jumped into his arms and gave him a smooch give him an hour or two he’ll get over the shock 

- during your date he kept inching his hand and shortening the distance between your fingers and his

- like a FOOL

- he’s 80% sure that you’re going to think he’s weird after this and he’s ready to go home and contemplate his life

- and you KISS HIM

- i’m not saying you shouldn’t have but you’ve gotten your hands on every thought of his and now all he can think about is you

- he doesn’t let you see that he’s practically having an existential crisis outside your door

- he acts cool, pats your head, bid you goodnight, and invited you to another date

- on his way back home his knuckles are white on the steering wheel and his face is bright red

- once he opens his door he blacks the fuck out

- slams his body on his bed and relives the moment you kissed him again and again

- he touches his lips and smile

- maybe he should buy you tangerine flavoured chapstick next time you go on a date

jung hoseok

- dissolves into a giggly mess

- he wraps his arms around you and groan like he’s accepting a horrible fate

- “___...you’re stuck with me now.”

- you raise your head up with a questioning look and he laughs 

- pecks you on the cheek for good measure

- his eyes narrow playfully and he swats your arm lightly

- “seems like you like me a whole lot, don’t you?”

- he takes this as a golden opportunity to fuck with you to his heart’s content

- you blush furiously despite your bold actions and he smiles fondly

- in the end he relents and squeezes your cheek

- he’s not kidding when he says you’re stuck with him he’s now superglued to you

- he flirts with you for a good half an hour while giving you kisses here and there

- you’ve been on like a dozen dates and yet you’ve never kissed

- he wouldn’t tell you ever but he’s scared that he’ll do the wrong thing and drive you away

- but now that you’ve taken the initiative he officially gives no shits and gives you as much affection as he wants

- you like it. actually, scratch that. you like him a lot, along with every kiss he gives you.

( writing this while it’s white day really gets me in the vibe 😳)

[shurisneakers]

harmless (vi)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, existential crisis, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, lil bit of angst, clint barton being a lil shit

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: BUCKY BARNES IS BACK AND HAS A CONFIRMED PERSONALITY 

also omg everyone who’s been sending me ideas- ur the lomls. 

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Your place or mine? ;)

He stares at the text.

The right answer is mine. See you at the lair.

“Y’all are dating now?” Clint peeks over his shoulder. 

“Fuck no,” Bucky says indignantly. “God forbid.”

“Okay, man,” he retracts, giving Bucky space to turn around and face him. “What do you want to call your mini dates then?”

“Missions,” Bucky corrects him.

“No one wants to go on a mission. You volunteered to go back there.” 

“It’s for the good of the tristate area.” 

“I bet.” The snort he lets out contradicts his words. “Whole world is depending on you, Barnes. Go save them from the treachery of your crush.”

“Enemy.”

“Girlfriend.”

“Mortal nemesis.” Bucky narrows his eyes at him. “Go further, I dare you.”

“What are you gonna do? Choke me? Punch me with your metal arm?” Clint cranes his neck. “Bring it, big boy. I’m not scared of some kinky shit.”

He hates living here. 

The door is left open for him. 

This time, even though the lair is still illuminated by the green light out in the front, there’s a minor change. Sunlight streams in through a skylight in the roof. 

There’s a ladder there, leaning against the rim. It gives him an entrance to the roof, which, judging by the lack of any other presence in the lab, is where he’s supposed to go.

As he gets closer he notices there’s a note on one of the rungs.

‘Evil’ with an arrow pointing upwards.

He rolls his eyes, discarding it on the floor before swiftly scaling the steps.

“Ah, Mr. Barnes,” he hears your voice call out even before his head pops up above the surface. “We’ve been expecting you.” 

He pauses, looking around. “Who’s with you?”

Because other than the gigantic machine pointed up towards the sky, there’s only you with a visor and sunglasses. The  best way he can describe its design was that it was shaped like a pine cone, had a large antenna pointed towards the sky, two handlebars near its base to manoeuvre it with a large button in between them. 

“Just imagine I have my henchmen with me,” you urge. “I’m on a budget, man, I can’t afford them yet. Maybe when my cloning machine finally works-”

He doesn’t answer.

“It’s a James Bond reference,” you add when he doesn’t show any signs of answering. 

“Haven’t watched it yet.” Bucky shrugs. “We’re doing Star Trek right now.”

“You’re done with Star Wars?” you, receiving a nod in confirmation. “Nice. You’d find the spy shit ridiculous anyway, it’s way below your level.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He makes a mental note to add the Bond movies to the list. 

“Speaking of stars,” you begin, gesturing to the machine. “I’m going to harness the power of the sun.”

“For what?” He doesn’t bother asking how, he already knows you’ve figured out something. 

“There’s a science exhibition and my team’s stupid solar car experiment isn’t working and I need it for them to win.” 

“So build a better one.” 

“No, ours is the best and if Jeff and his stupid baking soda volcano beat us then we’re going to have a murder on our hands.”

“Your hands,” he emphasises. He has nothing to do with this.

“I said what I said, boy.” You glare at him. “This is our problem now.”

“How much power are you taking?” If it’s insignificant enough, it wouldn’t matter much. He thinks. 

“The whole thing.”

He laughs. He stops when you don’t.

“You’re taking all the energy of the sun to power your shitty science model.”

“Your face is a shitty science model,” you mimic him in a higher pitched voice. “I will do anything to win.”

He wonders which grade kid you stole that insult from was in. There’s no way they were anything older than 13. He could use it on Steve, maybe.

“Everyone on Earth will die.” He feels the need to remind you, even though there was no way it was actually going to take place. Eat shit, Clint. This superseded the tristate area.

“Not for eight minutes.” You look at your watch. “And, if Jeff dies then I win by default.”

“You’ll die too,” he points out. 

“I’ll die a winner.” You nod seriously as if that makes it better. 

He’s not that worried. Experience tells him that you’re not a mass murderer willingly. 

“You’ll die an idiot.” 

“Only if you don’t stop me.” Your lips curve into a smile. “And how will you when I do this?”

You yank the machine to point towards him and slam the button. His hand reflectively pulls in front of him to defend himself. Something hits him with enough force to send him skidding backwards slightly. 

He removes his hand carefully from in front of him, looking at you. 

Something feels off.

“You just-”

The knives strapped to his thighs suddenly feel heavier.

“Took your powers?” you finish his thought. “Yeah.”

He feels his body tip towards his left. He’s suddenly very aware of the weight of the arm. Had it been this heavy all this while? 

“You’ve barely changed,” you noted, “You’re just regular Bucky but like, 20% less beef.”

After all, he was a boxer when he was a teen. One of the best men the Howling Commandos had even before the serum.

His shoulder feels heavier though. And somehow he thinks he’s sensing things a little less. He can’t really hear the faint buzzing of the generator downstairs anymore.

“Yep, that’s real muscle.” He turns when you poke at his shoulder. He doesn’t know when you got there. “You’re like a modern day Schwarzenegger. Grade A beefcake.”

He can’t see the construction site near the horizon as clearly as he used to. 

Something about this situation makes him feel like he’s going to have a midlife crisis, even though he’s overshot the age by a huge number. No one has a midlife crisis at 106. 

“Now that we’ve established that this works,” you say, back near the machine again. When did you walk there? “Let’s show this bitch that I’m the brightest star allowed in this solar system.” 

He shakes his head to jolt himself awake, shoves aside his mental dysfunction and breaks out into a sprint when you pull the device down to aim it at the sky. 

He latches onto the side, using his left hand to pull himself up, straddling the machine.

“Excuse me,” you exclaim like it’s a minor inconvenience and he feels the machine sway wildly under him. “You’re weighing it down, get off my inator.”  

You’re shooting recklessly, trying to shake him off. It’s not dissimilar to the mechanical bull Natasha made him ride during a mission down south so she could win money off placing bets on him. They had lobster that night.

He reaches down to its side, hoping to feel maybe a panel he can rip off. He finds nothing.  

He hopes none of the rays are actually hitting anything. It’s a little harder to stay on than he’d imagined it would be, and he thinks that maybe this wasn’t the best plan. 

He changes his mind in a split second, swinging himself over so that he can climb the underside of the machine like a monkey bar. He feels like a fucking insect. How was Peter not mortally embarrassed? 

He factors in the fact that his hands are getting clammier and his grip is slipping faster than usual. Also, he can taste his lunch at the back of his throat.

“Motherfucker,” Bucky curses when his hand slips, leaving him to hold on only by his metal arm. 

“You okay?” you call out, not giving him a second to recover unless he really needed it.

He lets out a grunt, swinging his arm up and catching hold of the antenna, yanking it down and towards the machine itself. He pulls himself up so that he’s straddling the machine again. 

One more shot and-

“Very smart, Barnes,” you say dryly, letting go of the handles. 

He sends you a sly grin before sliding down the barrel, kicking the large button with his heel right before he jumps off. 

The beam shoots out, instantly meeting with metal. The device automatically gives a mechanical groan before powering down, turning off altogether. 

“I hate you,” you huff, before noting his paleness. “D’you want some water? An IV maybe?”

He dismisses it with a wave of his hand, inhaling heavily to catch his breath.

He’s tired, more so than he would have been under any normal circumstance. He feels a little dizzy, a little disoriented. 

“Don’t worry, your magic powers will be back in a few minutes or so.” You examine the bent antenna, pressing the button and sighing when it stands there lifelessly. “Once Jeff wins, I’ll send the dry cleaning receipt to you. You can pay to get the tear stains out of the kids’ outfits.”

“Your tears or theirs?” He’s relieved about the powers returning, he thinks.

“Both, bitch.” Your eyebrow quirks at his retort. Clearly, he had more energy in him than people realised; his brain seemed to be working fine. He was stronger than you thought. Good for him. 

“You’re smart. You’ll figure something out.” He lets out a final exhale before standing up a little straighter. 

“Thanks. It’d be better if you asked your billionaire tech genius to send us something, but okay.”

“It’s a middle school science exhibition. Make a potato battery or something.”

You tsk-tsk. “No points for creativity, Mr. Barnes.”

It creeps into his mind without warning. He wonders if he actually wanted the powers back. Wonders what his life could be if he maybe retired, settled down. For the brief time he feels like his pre-war self, he starts to think like his pre-war self.

“I’m not the one who’s about to lose to a baking soda volcano,” he finds time to respond, however. 

“Your face is a baking soda volcano.” You narrow your eyes at him. “I will not lose.”

“You’re running out of time. Chop chop.”

But the thought hits him. Who is Bucky without his super soldier serum? If he doesn’t have his powers then he can’t think of what use he is to the Avengers.

Who the hell is Bucky if he can’t provide a service to others? How else does he make up for being himself?

His, what he’s now deemed, afterlife crisis is starting to look more apparent.

He compartmentalises and stores it away in a box. He’ll bring it up with his therapist later. 

“I’m going to win and then you’ll be sorry you weren’t a part of it because you didn’t let me steal the sun.” 

“If you win, I’ll still be glad I didn’t let you.” He climbs back down the ladder, feeling the ache in his muscles reduce with every passing minute. 

True to your word, his powers do return a while later. 

And while he’s watching Avatar: The Last Airbender with Peter in the living room two days later, his phone beeps with a text. 

It’s a picture of a blue first place ribbon next to a toy car that looks like it’s powered by a potato battery. Beside it is an out of focus middle finger that is aimed at him. 

Congratulations, he texts back. Told you potato batteries always win.

Your face always wins, he receives in return. He can’t tell if you’re insulting or flirting with him. 

He just shuts his phone off and goes back to watching the show. 

Next part

[knickynoo]

How do you think Doc and Marty/the Keatons would react to seeing their series (like if they discovered our universe, which is an alternate universe to them)?

Ahaha, this is funny to think about.

Doc and Marty first. The concept of them getting a look into some bizarre alternate universe where their actual lived experiences are consumed for entertainment in movie format is very funny. I'll hide my thoughts under a cut, since they'll be long.

I think that Marty would react by having an immediate existential crisis. He'd catch one glimpse of himself on that screen and nope right out of the situation. He already lived through all of that once and has no interest in seeing it again from an outside perspective (let alone with the added knowledge of alternate universes), thank you very much. Perhaps he would stumble away in fright, fall down a hill or a flight of stairs, and be knocked unconscious. Then, Doc could tell him it was all just a terrible nightmare, and Marty would put the whole disturbing notion out of his head. Problem solved.

Doc, however, would be glued to the screen in both fascination and fear. Mostly fascination, though. I think he'd be trying to figure out a lot of different things while watching. There are alternate universes?? Is he literally watching himself and Marty on screen--their whole adventure somehow having been filmed and turned into a trilogy? Or are these their doppelgangers, and a series of movies was somehow coincidentally made that exactly mirrored their own lives?? Lots to think about! He would also have increasingly dramatic reactions to the things he sees, particularly in the scenes where he isn't involved and it's just Marty. Like, Doc would just be sitting there, watching Marty make bad decision after bad decision and be like !!!! That's what he was doing??!!

As far as the Keatons go, it'd be MUCH more of a jarring situation for them considering they live in a "normal" universe, rather than the BTTF one where the existence of an alternate universe isn't that weird of a thing. But assuming that they're all somehow okay with accepting the fact, let's see...

Elyse and Steven would enjoy it from a parenting perspective. They'd be searching through the episodes to watch through their best pep-talks and lectures. Maybe taking notes and giving each other feedback. "That was a wonderful speech you gave there, Elyse. Some of your best work." Steven would also love seeing a compilation of his best dad-jokes, and he would laugh hysterically at them.

Mallory would enjoy being able to look back on every outfit her family members have worn and would have a lot to say on the matter. "Oh, I looked so good that day. And look at you, Jen. I told you that color really works for you. We'll go to the mall tomorrow and pick out some more tops like that. Really, Alex? How many "episodes" have you worn that same sweater vest now? *sigh* At least you're always properly color coordinated."

Not sure about Jennifer. She'd probably be really interested in looking back at the first two seasons and being able to see all the shenanigans her older siblings got into while she was still too young and always out of the loop. She would especially enjoy forcing Mallory and Alex to sit down and watch the episode where Alex loses her during that card game. You know, just to refresh his guilt a little.

Alex would love being able to watch his life as a show. He would specifically want to fast-forward through all the boring stuff with his other family members and only watch the scenes he's in. He would get a complete kick out of all his verbal zingers at Mallory, and he'd fight against Mallory's insistence at watching all the heart-warming moments between them. "Come on, Alex. You know you're a big softy." "Mallory, give me the remote or I'm going to punt you through the window." Alex would also find the show useful in enlisting his family to help him analyze and break down the countless various disasters he's gotten himself into over the years and getting advice on what went wrong. It would just be hours of:

"Oh, hey, here's that time I said something and then everyone was angry at me. Why was everybody angry at me?" "Wait, here's that other time I did absolutely nothing wrong, but everybody was angry at me again. Why is everybody else a jerk to me?" "No, hang on, one more! Watch this scene of a conversation I had at work. I did really good here! Why did it still result in everybody being angry at me??"

Thanks for the ask!