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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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Okay I'm ready to talk about it now, I have been thinking so much about the brave little toaster goes to mars and comparing it to our real life history of space travel

Under the cut because it's long. Like. Embarrassingly long

I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING. "Malaise! They got up there in a laundry basket powered by the ceiling fan and the microwave with cheddar popcorn!" YES, I KNOW,

But there's some things that are like. Almost true. And I liked thinking about that

LIKE VIKING 1. Viking 1 very much so is a real spacecraft that landed on Mars, but they call him a satellite ("The satellite?" "No, Viking 1 the bagel. OF COURSE THE SATELLITE") and he's not a satellite! The real viking 1 had an orbiter going around Mars aside from the lander, so the orbiter would be a satellite, but not the lander, and the appliances only spoke to the lander.

I think they're thinking satellite means "thing that relays back information to Earth", but a satellite is anything that orbits a planet or star. Like this is purely a semantic thing and even by a technicality you could consider a portion of Viking 1 to be a satellite but again they were not talking to the orbiter, who, if featured in the movie, I have reason to believe would be a different consciousness from that of the lander, given how appliance sentience seems to work

There was also a Viking 2. Who is not mentioned whatsoever. Not really a Problem or inaccuracy, but I thought it was interesting nonetheless

And I also want to mention the other satellites ('satellites') on Mars, I tried to see if there were any on Mars or sent there during the time the appliances would've been there (so, prior to 1998), I think Mars 6 has some similarities with one of them, but that's also me stretching. Like, they're definitely just generic spacecraft designs loosely inspired by real satellites ( Or maybe not I would love to be proven wrong here genuinely!!!!!) but I just wanted to see if there were any accurate real world equivalents like with Viking 1

SECONDLY,

Viking 1 claims that NASA cut contact with him on purpose which is also not true- it was a booboo, it was a mistake. What is true, however, is that there was no intention to bring him back to Earth. PERSONALLY, I think Viking 1 was convinced by the Wonderluxe appliances that NASA did that on purpose, seeing as the Wonderluxe hate humanity and believe humans are eager to get rid of their old electronics.

Then we have TINSELINA, MY BELOVED

I think its obvious there was no angel topper onboard with the real viking 1, BUT WHAT IT DID HAVE was a microfilm listing the thousands of people that worked on it. I personally think that Tinselina is a nod towards how NASA will put 'nonessential' symbolic things on their spacecrafts, like that list, or the golden records with the music and the greetings that are on the Voyager twins

Circling back to Viking 1's cut contact with NASA, when Tinselina leaves with the gang for Earth, she says she and Viking 1 can keep in touch via radio (side note idk if she meant like Radio radio or a different kind of radio). Perhaps in this canon, NASA did purposefully end contact with Viking 1, but I'm buying into this tbh because it's too sad to think about Tinselina and Viking 1 thinking they'll be able to still talk to reach other, only to find out that Viking 1 can't reach ANYONE, not just NASA. LIKE IT'S TOO SAD I CAN'T DO IT.

Tinselina also mentions that little Robbie was pulled up by the tractor beam in 'Noctis Labyrinthus', WHICH IS A REAL, NAMED PLACE ON MARS- Which I think is really cool to have been mentioned, but it's also really interesting because someone Obviously did their research!

This one isn't really an "Umm ackshually", but more of like an observation and theory. The Mars Hearing Aid, the Supreme Commander of Mars (previously), was picked up in the late 30's, early 40's (Earth Hearing Aid says it's been 60 years since they've seen each other, if the year is 98 then 60 years prior would be 1938) was left behind in Germany and picked up by some scientist, which is where Mars Hearing Aid learned to turn against humans, he only heard about weapons and war and destruction.

Now this is probably my biggest reach but I feel like I have ground to stand on with this too though, I want to believe this is mentioned at all as a nod to the unfortunate piece of space travel history that is the fact that it was the V-2 rockets designed and launched by the nazi's, that were the first rockets to reach outer space, even if that wasn't the intended purpose.

I feel like I'm making a lot of reaches here, because this is obviously a children's movie and was never meant to be scrutinized under the lens of someone dedicated enough to fact check these things. They're going to Mars in a laundry basket, of course it's not realistic or accurate to our world. BUT LIKE there seems to be a lot happening that was pulled from real life space history, just slightly altered either on purpose or unintentionally, instead of just making up their own thing and going with that

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It's my birthday today so I felt like drawing something self indulgent.

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(especially Nina)

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my son glornk he has every disease

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TMA body pillow but it’s just the fucking coffin.

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all these little pieces of shattered glass on the floor… are they also you?

@itsonlypolite hiiiii :)

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we've established in body builder that unhealthy relationships with fitness tie into the flesh... track meet themed flesh domain called The Meat

i never saw this. this is clever as hell

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holy shitballs I think I just noticed why the opportunist is so willing to kill us during patd. it's not just because he's a piece of shit and an absolute bastard /pos so the moment he gets access to the driver's seat he will backstab us immediately (or maybe it is that idk)

something to note is that despite the differences in each variation, opportunist is still a "survival" voice. this is a consistent trait of his across all routes. in the witch he straight up admits he's a compulsive backstabber because "it's how we survive", during the wraith he is DESPERATE to get on the princess' good side, and in a certain way in hea he doesn't want the lights to go out and insists we're happy, which you could see as a version of wanting to survive. in the wild everyone's sort of the same though so idk much about that one. anyways, the point is... it seemed a little out of character for him, because he's trying to get *us* to survive, not just him, since we're technically one. so why the hell would he turn on us? then it hit me:

it's because we were willing to kill ourselves if it meant killing the spectre too. our life was never a priority in our eyes. we took the chance we got and us dying alongside her wasn't important at all.

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i've seen a lot of takes (i am using the word 'take' absolutely neutrally here; and i'm specifying neutrality bc i have started to see that word as having inherently negative connotations in this context and i have no idea if that's just a Me Problem but i figured specificity couldn't hurt)

okay, that got away from me, let me start again

i've seen a lot of takes about The Damsel that have to do with idealization being another kind of dehumanization and how she's Like She Is because you/TLQ are projecting a fantasy onto her and sanding away any traits that don't fit into that fantasy and rendering her into little more than a vessel for your/TLQ's wish fulfillment

and i don't necessarily think that's *wrong* either-- but i think that's also not the complete picture, and that only looking that that half of the image does kind of tend to paint TLQ in an unfairly bad light

because the thing is, in The Damsel's route, TLQ is ALSO being reduced to an archetype just as much as The Damsel herself is! The Princess becomes the quintessential fairytale fair-maiden-in-distress that exists only to be rescued by a knight-in-shining-armor; and TLQ-- if you allow them to be guided entirely by The Smitten-- becomes that quintessential fairytale knight-in-shining-armor that only exists to rescue the fair-maiden-in-distress

The Damsel says over and over, explicitly, that "I just want to make you happy!" and The Smitten in this route is equally preoccupied with making HER happy-- he even says it directly if you start deconstructing her. every other part of his identity has been subsumed to revolve entirely around her just as much as the reverse is true for her.

(speaking of the Deconstructed Damsel, i've also seen Smitten's reaction to that touted as him not caring about her agency-- but again, i always read that as him being unable to see any flaws in her rather than being pleased with the idea of her being biddable, specifically. if you halt the deconstruction his reaction is "she's ALWAYS been perfect" -- he'd think that no matter what she did or said, because his identity revolves around her the exact way that hers revolves around him/TLQ)

even the actions that lead to HEA fit into this, i think-- i read that moment as less The Smitten lashing out at her because she didn't live up to his fantasy-- it still happens even after she's said "i guess we can stay, if that's what you want"-- she's giving The Smitten what he wants, but he's still distressed because SHE'S not happy

i think it's more The Smitten feeling that HE hadn't lived up to HIS half of their shared fantasy. if she's not happy with the idea of "all we need is each other" then it must be because HE failed somehow. if she needs or wants more than him, it must be because HE is not enough.

if he was just better at playing his part, if he just offered her more, if he was just clearer about his devotion--

"if we just showed her the contents of our heart, she'd be happy"

that's not to say that what The Smitten does in HEA isn't incredibly toxic for both of them-- it definitely is, and it clearly makes both the Princess and TLQ miserable. "everything she doesn't know she wants" is a bad mindset to approach a relationship with, whether that mindset is reached through controlling selfishness or a desperation to appease (and i definitely think Smitten is motivated by the latter-- it's no coincidence that we arrive at HEA through a literal and fatal act of self mutilation)

he's definitely the antagonist of HEA, in that he is what TLQ and the Princess and the player need to overcome, but he's not a VILLAIN (which i think is most clearly illustrated in the moment where the Princess admits she's unhappy, that she's never been happy here, and his reaction is to GIVE UP instead of lash out harder)

i never got the sense that The Smitten was ever putting any blame on The Damsel-- he always considered *himself* to be the problem-- he puppeteers TLQ just as much as he does the Princess, even if we can't hear him while she can, and he asks TLQ/the player through her "isn't this enough? isn't this what you wanted?"

which in and of itself is an unhealthy way to approach a relationship-- blaming oneself for every bit of conflict or lapse in synchronicity is just as harmful as laying all the blame on the other person. there IS no blame-- sometimes people disagree or have conflicting needs or desires, and that's not anybody's "fault" because that's just how people and relationships WORK.

...can you believe i wrote out all of this when my original intention was to lay out an entirely different point about a read on The Damsel/HEA routes that wasn't about relationships at all?

OKAY!

THAT GOT AWAY FROM ME LET ME START AGAIN

so i don't think that looking at The Damsel/HEA through a lens of "what does this say about relationships and expectations and respecting other people's agency" is incorrect-- clearly i have a lot of thoughts about that lens!

but i wanted to offer another one that i haven't seen yet:

The Damsel/HEA route as a commentary on what makes a satisfying narrative

if you play out The Damsel route just single-mindedly taking actions to free her-- it's kinda dull, isn't it? like-- it's not without its charms! The Smitten is silly and entertaining and the Narrator's exaggerated pettiness is very funny! but ultimately, that's about it.

potential sources of conflict are brushed aside-- if you took the blade with you, you just drop it and it gets forgotten; the Damsel's hand slips right out of the manacle with no effort or harm; when the Narrator locks the basement door, every 'choice' you make just magically unlocks it right away. and then you're outside, what you wanted to do from the start. ...so what do we do now?

nothing, actually. the chapter ends, and there is no chapter 3. the game itself continues, but that ending feels about as substantial as the Narrator's "Good Ending" where you follow his instructions without question and accomplish his goal immediately.

if you DON'T take either of the actions that lead to one of Damsel's chapter 3's, there's very little variation in The Damsel's story-- pretty much all of it comes down to slight differences in dialogue. there's no "the princess kills you" outcome. the closest thing to an alternate end to The Damsel is if you deconstruct her-- and even then, it feels like less an "alternate route" and more like-- a cheeky acknowledgement of the lack of substance, because that isn't a bug, it's a feature!

but if you introduce conflict-- either in the more direct sense by slaying The Damsel or in the more interpersonal sense by highlighting a mis-match in her and TLQ's desires-- suddenly the story opens up! there are a bunch of new possibilities and a bunch of new outcomes, and all of them are more interesting than "you achieve your goal with trivial effort, hooray!"

Even if you wind up finishing HEA on a note that is superficially very similar to the easy end of The Damsel's route-- you leave hand in hand with her, the narrator conceding defeat, and the last image of her before TSM takes her is a warm, tender smile-- it FEELS so much more like a genuine happy ending-- even though the Princess' face is still streaked and stained from her tears. BECAUSE of that.

it's one of the most heartwarming moments in the game, and one that has made me misty eyed every time i've seen it, and it's BECAUSE of the conflict you had to go through to get there.

conflict is what drives a compelling narrative, is the takeaway. it precludes PERFECT endings, perhaps, but not happy endings-- it's what makes those imperfect happy endings feel substantial and earned.

even the dinner and the board game contribute to the idea-- the description of the food is some really lovely writing, to the point where i sat through and listened to it all again even though i knew nothing really happens during it-- but *nothing really happens during it*. it doesn't move the narrative forward-- you're just as hungry as you were when you started. it just stalls the story in place, and every time you go through it again it's less satisfying until it's outright unpleasant. the description of the meal also notably gets simpler each time, and less detailed-- there's only so much that you can say about it before you run out of things to describe.

the board game is similar-- the way that it's described the first time you play even sounds like the description of an exciting story! and then the board resets, and you do it all again just the same. and so on. the game/story stops being exciting and the wins or losses stop feeling like they mean anything-- because is conflict really conflict, is a challenge really a challenge, if you're always tracing the same path, always making moves where you already know the outcome? it becomes "a slog towards the end"

and this is how i tie the idea of "what Damsel/HEA has to say about relationships" and "what Damsel/HEA has to say about narratives" together:

ultimately, the statements can be summarized the same way "whether in a narrative or a relationship, 'perfection' is unattainable, but you wouldn't actually want it anyway"

conflict, substance, variety

in a relationship there will always be differences of opinion, differing goals etc-- variety between the members of the relationship, knowing and sharing this substantial and non-superficial information about one another, navigating the resultant conflict-- that's what allows the relationship to grow and deepen, and what allows the people in it to grow as individuals as well.

in a narrative, or in Narratives, as a whole, conflict is what makes things HAPPEN, substance makes them feel like what happens MATTERS, like something is being communicated, variety means that you're learning or considering something new-- and those are what make a narrative capable of impacting a person, of changing them, of being remembered

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The appliances.

They declare a simple term.

Enby rights babey!!!!!!

(If you’re using them, please credit me)

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DO NOT TRACE/COPY/REPOST/EDIT MY ART

My yearly redraw of Tinselina has arrived!

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In The Moment of Clarity all the Voices are there and they are all broken. The Narrator tells you to ignore them.

You can ask the Narrator why you shouldn’t listen to them. Maybe the Voices need to be heard. Maybe you are helping them.

However, if you do ask the Narrator that, it’s the Cold who answers to say you are wrong. He tells you that you always give them (the other Voices) too much space. He thinks it’s why you always lose.

The thing is, you don’t get the choice to stop listening in this route. You don’t get to make any choices. You refused to slay or save the Princess and ended up accidently giving away your ability to make choices.

The Voices talk and talk and talk. You can’t stop them. You can’t do anything other than move forward and let her out.

This fragment of the Shifting Mound has all of your will. All she wants is to be free.

LET HER OUT

In the Razor (the only other route where you end up with all the Voices) by the end everyone is talking all at once. It’s overwhelming and unhelpful so you do what the Cold advises in the Moment of Clarity; you silence them.

Again, YOU don’t get a choice in this… but this time the Long Quiet does.

They have decided that this needs to end. The Princess has become a murder monster and neither of you can grow further while remaining trapped in this cycle. So, they silence Voices and Narrator, and then they deal with her.

In both routes, YOU lose all choice, gain all the Voices and press the only option given to you while the Shifting Mound or Long Quiet do the thing that route has moulded them to do.

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remember OTP manifestos?

anyways, here's one i made.

(please read the description & give my artists some love!)

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i know the lonely is more commonly associated with the vast, but i REALLY like buried/lonely together, actually.

seperated from any possible human contact by tonnes of unfeeling dirt, and you can't even move or try make a sound lest your lungs be filled with more wet earth than they already are..

also, graveyards are buried coded and those can be very lonely places, just saying ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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I think Radio and Kirby should kiss each other

Grumpy old man x energetic little lad

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Hey TBLT fans, what do we call Kirby/Air Conditioner? Airvac? Kirbcon? Neither of those sound right to me but they're all that come to mind