#not maintagging but HELP

[interdimensionalsockdrawer]

guys i need to write cadx2. i need to write cadx2 or else im going to Die .

[tubbytarchia]

Could we get more Jimmy and Doc? Or Ren and Doc... for the children

You may... I'm struggling with the actual continuation still oops but please accept this doodle for the time being... for the children

[krtri]

likelihood jean and harry can work it out: 3%

likelihood jean and harry can work it out if cuno is around: 27%

[shinelikethunder]

*holds Dean Winchester up by the scruff of the neck* listen, it's not that i think bottoming would fix him--his problems and disorders are way too far gone for that--but i do think that getting artfully maneuvered into trying it by the only other human on earth with a hope of understanding all his goddamn hangups, only to discover that he's been a winner of the "body wired to experience earth-shattering prostate orgasms" lottery this entire time, all while Sam oh-so-solemnly insists it doesn't have to Mean Anything about anyone's masculinity, lots of guys etc etc etc, and manages to radiate only moderate levels of smugness about the whole incident--

well, i simply think that even if that wouldn't fix him, it would either give him a vigorous shake and a ready-made excuse ("fuck it, why look a gift pleasure button in, uh, whatever orifice it came with?") to let a whole bunch of shit go, or it would drive him into even more insane depths of overcompensation. and either way, the Study That Man Like A Bug girlies get to feast.

[monachopsissssss]

fanart for weapon by name by @cnwolf-brainrot (hope its ok to tag)

[revvethasmythh]

Have you witnessed discoursing about Orym in the past several months? Would you like to be more well-informed about the subject matter? Well, then, do I have a post for you! As a reference for myself and potentially for others:

A Comprehensive Write-Up Of Relevant Times And Contexts Where Orym Has Brought Up His Dead Family While The Group Discusses The Vanguard/Predathos--With Receipts

Disclaimer: these are all of the instances in which I was able to find independently through the Critical Role transcript search, not from rewatching everything. It is therefore possible there are some instances unaccounted for.

Episode 34. Post-resurrection after being killed by Otohan Thull, he brings up the fact that Otohan had a hand in killing his family to emphasize to Imogen how dangerous Otohan is and that she may potentially continue to be an issue for her specifically due to her apparent interest in Imogen (exalting her during the battle in the previous episode)

2. Episode 46. An early God Talk™️, prompted by Ludinus using (presumably) Feeblemind on Professor Kadija Sumal. He holds his opinion until the very end of the conversation, after entertaining Imogen's idea that "they make some good points" and listening to the group discuss if the gods are good or bad for several minutes.

"I don't need to debate it. I lost my husband and father to these people, I'm not on board. Some of the gods are terrifying, and some of them have put their thumbs on the scales for people for centuries, even in the last few decades. Who are they, who are we to decide who lives or dies, god or mortal or otherwise? I don't think they have any good points."

3. Episode 49. He brings them up combatively ("Well, Imogen, I wish. my family didn't have to die for their brighter tomorrow"), against Imogen's statement of, "What if it's not that bad? [...] What if what we're doing is just fighting change?" after she solely received a vision of a Utopia-like future from her mother. Imogen backs down quickly after his reproach and acknowledges that the vision was likely a part of cult brainwashing.

4. Episode 61. Orym pulls Prism aside, after she asks the party and Elder Abbadina if Predathos would cause a world-ending event, or if it would only be bad for some (the Elder did not know anything about Predathos at all), to say, "I don't think we know anything [...] The only thing I have to go on is the track record of the guys trying to bring Predathos out. And that track record is not very good." At further prompting from Prism about if he ever thought the Vanguard's ideas were right, he says, "Prism, I don't understand the gods. I don't know anything about the titans. I don't know an eidolon from eyeliner. [...] But I'm a widower, because of the people who want to bring this about. So it's hard for me to wrangle with the other side."

5. Episode 61, pt. 2. Orym listens to the party converse with Elder Abbadina for a little while longer before silently sneaking out "to go think about his dead father and his dead husband."

6. Episode 77. Another God Talk™️ with the whole party, prompted by FCG asking what everyone's motive was in going to the moon. For his reasoning, he says, "We don't know what's going to happen to any inch of this world if Predathos is unleashed. Yeah, this started with my husband and my father. It's so much bigger than that. If my life can secure the lives of everyone who comes after us, well spent."

7. Episode 92. After the death of another loved one to Otohan Thull, in response to Liliana's statement that temples might hunt down Ruidusborn in the theoretical event that Ludinus' plot is foiled, "Cold comfort for my family in the ground."

8. Episode 92, pt. 2. In response to a throwaway, thoughtless comment Ashton made that, "I hope [Liliana] is right. I really do. I hope her ends are fucking great because these means are just not forgivable." Orym has Chetney bring out Otohan's sword, jams one into the sand and declares, "This is the sword that killed my father and my husband. She is not right."

UPDATE: 8/14/24

9. Episode 102, during the confrontation with Ludinus. Interjected during the ongoing conversation, specifically during some bantering between Chetney and Ludinus as to the last time they met (when Chetney attacked him as a werewolf). He says, "You put a hit on my family, a successful one, fuck you. Fuck you." Ludinus later apologizes for the deaths of his family, claiming Otohan was "overzealous in her methods." Both Imogen and Laudna respond immediately that he was responsible for Otohan's actions.

10. Episode 103, during yet another God Conversation. Orym tries to redirect conversation about Ludinus and the gods, stating that they are different topics. Ashton concurs, and Imogen states that she agrees with Orym that Ludinus doesn't get to decide for everyone. Dorian then interjects, "But the gods do?" Which prompts Orym's blunt response to him specifically that, "If Ludinus had sent people to your home, and taken brother and your father and countless others, how philosophical would you be about it, Dorian?"

-

So, with all of the information in front of us, what conclusions can we draw from them? When asked by others to assess if the Vanguard has valid points, Orym repeatedly abstains from having an opinion. Whether or not the Vanguard has a reason to be upset is irrelevant to him--what is relevant is the loss of life they have incurred along the way. Orym takes no stance on the gods, he repeatedly states he doesn't understand them or know anything about them or harbor much of a connection to them. As far as he is concerned, his role in this is to oppose the violence being done to the people of Exandria. Why waste your time debating the merits of a cult's ideology when you know, in the end, you will have to fight against them to end the slaughter? To protect people?

And for what it's worth, in almost every instance, Ashton has effectively taken the same side as Orym. I have not included all of these moments, but they are easily located if you wanted to search up these moments on your own. The continual focus on de-legitimizing Orym's opinion seems strongly tied to the fact that he has a personal reason to hate the Vanguard. But facts being facts, Ashton hates them just the same--and he has no love of the gods, either. He hates the Vanguard based on their actions, same as Orym. In fact, Ashton and Laudna have both expressed outright dislike for the gods, and all other Bells Hells except for FCG expressed ambivalence. This is not about the gods. Not for Orym, not for the others who remain. This is about no more bodies on the pyre of Ludinus' machinations.

P.S. if you know of any other instances this topic has come up that I have not included, please feel free to let me know! I want this post to be as comprehensive as it can be, but I am fallible and may have missed something. Don't be afraid to tell me about a scene I missed!

[horse-head-farms]

they think they’re so funny

[sideblogdotjpeg]

i did this in five whole minutes so sol isnt a baby drake like he is in canon but um anyway thinking about this moment

[mephoj]

taco and mephone have fascinating parallels more people could explore if taco haters weren't biased cowards

[hopepetal]

This story is set in @applestruda's boatem knights au!

Masterlist

AO3

Enjoy :)

Once upon a time, there lived a huntsman with a heart of gold. 

The huntsman was of the lonely sort, for the only company he kept was that of his horse and his dogs. Save for the occasional rare trip to a village, or a passerby stumbling upon his camp, the huntsman did not interact much with others of his kind. That was just fine with him, as he had long been content with conversing with the trees. They were much better listeners than any human would be, he found, as was the case with his animals. 

He had lived in the forest his whole life. He was a part of the forest's family, and respected her bounties and blessings with humble grace and thanks. He respected and protected the forest, and in return she did the same for him. During the warmer months, she'd provide him with good hunting in order to prepare him for the biting cold and sparsity of the later months. 

It was during one of the colder months– a particularly bitter winter, as the huntsman had been making his way further north during the summer. He had prepared well for this trip, as he didn't wish for his animals to suffer needlessly from the cold. He had spent quite a bit of time bartering and trading to get all the equipment, but it was worth the comfort of his closest companions. 

Clearly his dogs were fine, he thought to himself as they once again began chasing each other around in the snow, barking playfully and kicking up powder in his general direction. Shivering slightly and thanking the trees for breaking the wind, the huntsman led his horse carefully through the woods. His dogs ran ahead, as they usually did, and he followed their path. They were much better than actual compasses, and not because they were better at directions. The huntsman had a tendency to lose or damage the small devices, and besides, one couldn't pet a compass. 

It was only when a strange bark joined the chorus that the huntsman felt fear shoot through him. His dogs did sometimes run into others of their kind, those that still felt the song of the wild in their veins. Not wanting his dogs to be injured, the huntsman hurriedly made his way to where his dogs had stopped and were growling at a wolf far larger than the huntsman had ever seen. Its fur was the same bright shade of the snow, and intelligent eyes the same sharp blue as the sky. 

The huntsman called his dogs back, confused as to why the wolf wasn't attacking or running. In fact, it was quite calm for an animal of its species, laying calmly on the ground and watching the huntsman move. Taking a step forward, it became clear to him when he saw the contrast of red blood against the snow and its fur. The wolf had been caught in a trap, and had likely been stuck there for some time. It had resigned itself to its fate after struggling, and that broke the huntsman's heart. 

Slowly, he approached the wolf, being careful to not make any sudden movements. It was strangely calm, especially for a trapped animal. The huntsman knelt in the snow and reached out, stopping right before his hand brushed against the wolf’s fur. Murmuring words of comfort and safety, the huntsman allowed the wolf to sniff at his hand before continuing. He found the trap its leg was caught in, sighing in relief when he recognized the type of trap. He was quick to find the release mechanism and activate it, remaining tense just in case the wolf decided to pounce. To his surprise, it didn’t, although it may have been due to the injury.

Thinking quickly, the huntsman reached into his bag and began to search for medical supplies. He wasn’t able to find any before a warm breeze swept through the clearing, and all of his dogs went still as something changed. With the sudden warmth came the sweet scent of honey apple cinnamon springtime flowers–

Ah.

That–

Woah. Big lady. 

The huntsman scrambled back, eyes wide as the snow simply melted around the woman’s feet and flowers sprung from the earth. The woman wore a flowing blue dress that turned into flowers at the ends, and behind her fluttered golden wings like stained glass. Hair the colour of cherry blossoms flowed down her back, and twin antlers poked out from under her hair.

She was a fae, the huntsman did not doubt, though he had never seen nor heard of one like this. Fae didn’t usually just reveal themselves to humans, not unless they had done something wrong. The huntsman swallowed the lump in his throat and prayed to gods he wasn’t quite sure he believed in.

“Huntsman.” The fae’s voice washed over him like sunlight and warmth, and he found himself relaxing. “You have shown my youngest wolf a great kindness. I appreciate this.” With a swirling, sparkling magic, the wolf’s injury healed and the blood faded. It yipped in excitement and bounded over to the fae, pressing against her happily. 

The huntsman blinked, before nodding. “You… yeah. No biggie. Uh.”

The fae laughed, a charming sound, and knelt in the circle of flowers she had created so that their heights were more level. “May I have your name?” she asked with a cheeky grin, and the huntsman shook his head. “Oh, you are smart, as well as kind. Very well. What may I call you, then?”

The huntsman felt his cheeks heating up and took a shaky breath. “Well, uh, huntsman! Huntsman is fine! I quite like that, actually.”

His stumbling amused the fae greatly, and she laughed again. “Very well then. Huntsman, to repay you for your kindness in setting my wolf free, I will gift you with one made from magic and shadows.”

The huntsman had forgotten how much emphasis the fae put on equal trade and deals. “Th–” He cut himself off quickly. “...that’s very nice,” he got out, choosing each word with care. “But will a wolf get along well with my horse and my dogs?” he asked.

The fae smiled, nodding. “Of course, dear Huntsman. It is, after all, a repayment for the kindness you showed, as we will never meet again.” With that, she began to weave magic and shadow together with her hands, a mesmerizing process that the huntsman had never seen before. From that was born a mighty wolf with a pelt as dark as the shadows and eyes the piercing yellow of the sun. 

The huntsman watched in awe as the wolf let out a mighty bark before bounding over to him, sniffing and pressing against him like any of his dogs would. “Oh! Eeeeasy there… boy? Girl? Y’know what, doesn’t matter. Your name is Geraldine.” He looked up at the fae. “Tha– goodness, I’m not good at this. She’s perfect, thank you.”

The fae beamed. “She is in fact a she. And Geraldine is a lovely name, befitting of a mighty wolf.” She stood, her wolf at her side. “Now that your kindness has been repaid, I must be leaving. Goodbye, Huntsman, and may the wilds bless you.” She and the wolf disappeared with a warm breeze, similar to how she had appeared, leaving the huntsman stunned on the ground. 

“Woah,” the huntsman breathed, glancing around at his animals. “That was… wild.”

He knew one thing, and one thing only. 

He was going to find her again, somehow. He was too stubborn not to.

When Joel had said he’d find the fae again, he never thought it would be like this. 

Several months had passed since they first met– and, in the fae’s mind, the only time they would meet– and it was well into the spring that he found a village that claimed to know about the fae. Did he believe them? Not really. Did he want to? Absolutely. 

Which is why he found himself trekking through the nearby forest, searching for the lake they had claimed was frequented by the fae queen herself. Now, if anyone would know where he could find the fae he’d met back in the winter, it would be the fae queen, right?

The sound of water drew his attention, and Joel turned so that he would be heading in that direction. The trees began to thin out and finally, he found himself standing on the bank of a beautifully serene lake. 

To his surprise, the fae he had met so long ago was also there, sitting right by the water’s edge. She hadn’t noticed him, it seemed, and for a moment he just stood there and stared until he finally blurted out, “You’re the fae queen?”

The fae startled, letting out a high pitched squeak and throwing her hand up. Joel only realized his mistake as he was thrown face first into the lake by her magic, becoming completely submerged almost instantly. Luckily for him, the fae queen (if she even was the fae queen) pulled him out coughing and spluttering not a moment later.

“I am so sorry, I didn’t realize– Huntsman?” 

Joel waved at her from where he had been plopped on the ground, dripping wet. “Hey. Nice to see you again, too.”

Shocked, she took a step forward, flowers blooming at her feet like they had when he first met her. “You– how did you find me?”

Joel ran his hands through his hair, beginning the process of squeezing the water out. “Well, y’see, the locals in that village nearby said the fae queen came here a lot. So I came here to see if I could find her and ask where you are. But it turns out, you are her! Are you?” he asked after a moment, blinking up at her.

The fae laughed, though whether it was from shock or actual amusement was a mystery. “Yes, I am,” she confirmed, and waved her hand. A warm breeze washed over Joel, completely drying him off. “And you are a very lucky little human.” 

“It’s genetic,” Joel quipped, “I’m just like that.”

She laughed again, this time from genuine amusement. “Indeed you are. And brave, at that. Not many humans would attempt to seek out the fae like this. May I ask why you did?”

Joel hesitated. “Uhh… well, I never got your name,” he tried, and she raised an eyebrow.

“And I never got yours,” she countered. “Names are a powerful thing, Huntsman. Especially one like mine.”

He gave her a nervous grin. “Well, I’d hope so! You are a queen, mate.” 

She took a few more steps forward and settled in the grass by him, brushing out her dress. “So tell me, Huntsman, why you actually tried to find me.”

“Well,” Joel started, “for one, you’re pretty? And two, I like you? Also, I’m really stubborn and I wanted to see you again soooo…” As he spoke, he realized his cheeks were heating up once more, causing a light pink flush to appear across his face. “Oh, jeez.”

“Really?” the fae queen asked, a smile appearing on her face. “Well well well, Huntsman, that changes things.”

“Does it?” he squeaked out, the realization of what he had just said– to the highest ranking fae– starting to dawn on him. “Well, I, uh–”

“You may have my name,” she decided, “if I may have yours. The trade will be far from equal, so I also wish for your heart.”

Joel blinked. “I kinda can’t live without my heart,” he pointed out, “I need that thing.”

She laughed. “Oh, not your physical heart! Your love, companionship, that sort of thing. Being the queen is lonely, Huntsman. And you… there’s something special about you. I like that.” She looked over at him. “Your name, then?”

He cleared his throat, nodding. “Well. Joel. Joel Beans. That’s my name.”

The fae queen smiled, letting her eyes briefly flutter shut as she felt the magic of the name wash over her. Opening her eyes, she gazed directly into Joel’s. “I am Lizzie ShadowLady, queen of the fae.”

The power Lizzie’s name held washed over Joel like a tidal wave, causing his world to spin and tilt. He jolted slightly from the impact it had, though the shock was lessened by her kind smile and gentle hand that had reached out to hold his (when did that happen?). Finally, it was over, and Joel gasped. “That! Woah. Okay. Wasn’t expecting that!”

Lizzie giggled. “I didn’t think you would.”

Joel let the silence sit for a moment. “So… what now? Do you take me to the uh, fae land, whatever it is?”

Lizzie shook her head. “Fae realm. And no, the court would not be too pleased with that. And who would look after all your animals if you were in the fae realm? No, Joel, you’ll be staying in the mortal realm for now. But! You can call my name whenever you wish and I will come to you.”

“And what about me?” Joel asked. “Do you get to say my name and have me appear?”

“Nothing of the sort! But I will be visiting you whenever I please.”

Joel flushed a brighter pink. “Just… not while I’m bathing, please. Or in any state of undress, really.”

Lizzie smirked, leaning forward. “But what if I want to?” she cooed, and Joel’s face turned completely red. 

“Alright! Um! Okay! Well!” He jumped up, stumbling over his words as she laughed. “Lovely meeting you, Lizzie, but I should– uh, gotta– I– go check! On my dogs! Yeah.”

“I’ll let you go just this once!” Lizzie called after him as he fled, “but I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again very soon!”

She came to him again on a warm summer’s day, on one of his rare trips to the nearby village. If their very souls had not been so intricately connected, Joel wouldn’t have been able to recognize her. She’d used magic to change her form, clearly– before him stood a shorter woman with pink hair tied up in a bun, and human ears, and no antlers nor wings in sight. “Hello, Joel!”

Joel startled slightly, looking Lizzie up and down. “Oh– gosh, you look different. Lovely! It’s, you’re still, lovely! But different.”

Lizzie giggled, cheeks dusting a light pink as she did a little half twirl. The light green fabric of her dress shimmered in the light, and Joel noticed she had what seemed to be cherry blossoms sewn into the fabric. “Thank you!” She looked up at him with bright eyes, and smiled. “I want you to show me the mortal realm. As a human!”

Joel was slightly taken aback. “Well, I’m certainly not the best person to ask, but I’ll try. I’ll definitely try.” He held out his arm, laughing softly as Lizzie took it. “You’re lucky you caught me when I was near the village. I’m not usually around people.”

Lizzie gave him a quizzical look. “I thought humans were social creatures.”

Joel shrugged. “Not all of us, mate. I live out in the woods all alone mostly. Livin’ with my dogs and my horse.”

“And Geraldine,” Lizzie reminded him.

Joel nodded. “And Geraldine.”

The village was one of the larger ones Joel had seen, though it still wasn’t comparable to the cities he had visited. The market was bustling, with farmers and craftsmen and artisans having set up stalls to show off their wares. Lizzie was absolutely delighted, exclaiming gleefully over the variety and amount of things. 

“Have you never seen these things before?” Joel asked, with quite a bit of bemusement in his tone as he watched Lizzie coo over a hand sewn blue jacket. 

She shot him a look, rolling her eyes. “Of course! Of course I’ve seen these before! I’ve just never really interacted with these things, is all.” She carefully placed the jacket back before taking his arm again. “Hand-made things are so adorable! Fabulous, even! What do you mean, they just made that with no magic?”

Joel chuckled, shaking his head slightly as Lizzie took his arm once more. “It’s a skill they’ve likely spent years honing. It’s magic in its own way, if ya think about it.”

“True,” Lizzie agreed, continuing to gaze around the market. “Oh, what’s that?!” she asked, pointing toward a different stall. 

“Jewelry,” Joel answered. “Best stay away from that one. They probably have iron and such in their items. Dunno if that’s bad for you or not, but better safe than sorry.”

Lizzie hummed softly. “Good idea, good idea.”

Joel continued to lead her through the market, briefly stopping by a bakery and buying some warm bread for the both of them. Lizzie was very pleased with this and happily snacked on her bread before taking the last bit of Joel’s. “You love me,” she teased when he pretended to act offended. 

“I do,” he admitted, feeling his cheeks start to get a little more warm. He supposed getting flustered around the woman he liked was going to happen now and again, but gosh, it felt like he was blushing every five seconds! “And you love me. I’m a very sexy lad, you know.”

She giggled, reaching out to boop his nose. “Indeed I do.”

They spent the rest of the day wandering the village, before Joel brought her to a nearby lake to watch the sunset. It was there where she kissed him, before disappearing into the night’s shadows and leaving behind flowers where she had been standing.

Accidents happened.

Especially to those who lived far from the well lit paths, who roamed the forest freely, who forgot that as beautiful as the wilds were, they were just as dangerous. 

“Oh gosh–!” he stuttered out, firing another arrow at a zombie. “Geraldine!” he shouted, but the wolf was already ripping into the undead alongside his dogs. “Good girl!” He fired another arrow, this time at an approaching skeleton. “Oh no you don’t,” he muttered, nocking another arrow.

There was a sizzle behind him. Joel whipped around and stumbled back just in time for the creeper to explode, sending him backwards and straight into the path of the skeleton’s arrow. He let out a pained shout as it pierced through his back, pain flaring up his side as he fell. Twisting just before he hit the ground so that he wouldn’t land on the arrow, Joel landed with a thud, groaning in pain. “Blummin’–” He coughed, gasping for air. “Oh, gosh. Oh gosh.”

His ears were still ringing as he tried to push himself up from the ground– failed– and fell back with what might have been a sob. Everything ached, burned with pain built up throughout the fight. His dogs were still barking, growling, tearing into the mobs, but Joel…

Joel couldn’t get up.

…ah.

So that’s what death felt like, then.

The sound of a skeleton falling apart ended the battle, and Joel felt soft fur press against him. He looked up to see Geraldine whimpering softly, gazing down at him with her intelligent eyes. “Hey, Geraldine,” he whispered, weakly bringing up a hand to stroke her fur. “It’s… it’s not going well. I think… this might be it for me, girl.”

Geraldine let out a soft growl that turned into a whimper, nudging his side with her nose. He winced, hissing softly. “Ahh… yep, that– that hurts. Ahhh, gosh.” His hand fell to his side. “Sorry girl,” he mumbled. “You did– you did good. Yeah. You did good.”

Geraldine whimpered again, before turning her head toward the sky and howling, the rest of Joel’s dogs joining in with her cries. Joel choked back a sob, feeling his blood seep out from the wounds that covered his body, feeling the exhaustion begin to draw darkness over his eyes. “I don’t… wanna die,” he mumbled. “I wanted to… I needed… to see her again…”

The image of his beloved came to his mind as he lay there, dying. How she had looked on their date together, when they met by the lake, when he had first seen her… It comforted him, to know that if he died here, he would die with the image of Lizzie seared into his brain.

“Lizzie…”

A warm wind carrying the sweet floral scent of honey and apples was the last thing Joel experienced before everything went black.

Joel woke up in a world not his own, in a bed softer than anything he’d ever experienced, wearing clothes that were most certainly not his.

Oh, and he was alive. Cool!

Joel pushed himself up into a sitting position with a soft groan, looking around the brightly lit room. There was a large window… door? that led out to a balcony, letting in light from outside. The room was much bigger and fancier than anything Joel had ever seen, and he wondered just where he had ended up.

The door opened, and in walked Lizzie. She was “normal sized” once more– or maybe Joel was just big now. Their eyes met, and Joel awkwardly gave her a little smile and a wave. “Heya.”

Without saying a word, Lizzie ran to him and threw her arms around him. “Oh, you–!” she spluttered, hugging him close– “How could you?! Do you know how scared I was when you called for me and I found you just, lying there? Joel!” She pulled back, cupping his face. There were tears shining in her eyes as she gazed into his. “I was so scared you were going to die!” she scolded.

Joel let out a weak laugh. “I mean, I was too. I was really scared, for a bit. But hey! I’m okay now! I’m okay!” 

Lizzie pulled him into another hug. “Don’t do that again. Don’t scare me like that, Joel.”

He hugged her back, breathing in the sweet scent of flowers. “I won’t. I promise.” She pulled away again, and Joel settled back. “So… where am I?” he asked.

“When I found you in the woods and saw how injured you were, I decided to take you to the fae realm,” Lizzie explained. “You’re in the palace, in the room typically…” She flushed slightly. “...typically occupied by the fae king.”

Joel blinked. “Oh, goodness. Am I in another man’s room?”

Lizzie’s eyes widened. “No! No! Not at all, Joel! This is your room!” She paused. “Well. It will be, if you’d like.”

Joel raised an eyebrow. “Are you proposing to me? On my deathbed?”

Lizzie yelped. “Don’t say that! It’s not your deathbed, idiot!” Another pause. “...but yes, I suppose I am.”

“Well, Lizzie, I’d absolutely love that.” Joel smiled as he spoke, watching Lizzie’s face light up. “But maybe give me a bit before we get uh, married. And everything. Maybe show me around your realm a bit? Like I did with the human world.”

Lizzie grinned. “Deal.”

Joel sucked in a soft breath, eyes widening. “Wait, hold on, I didn’t– oh goodness.”

Lizzie giggled, shaking her head. “Don’t you worry, my love. I won’t harm you, nor will I let anyone else harm you. I’m the fae queen, and as such no one will lay a hand on you.”

“Okay, that’s good, because sometimes I can be a real blummin’ idiot,” Joel muttered.

“Maybe,” Lizzie agreed with a smile, “but you’re my idiot.”

As promised, Lizzie showed Joel around the fae realm.

There were many sorts of strange things there that Joel couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around (what do you mean those axolotls had wings?), but it was all beautiful. And yeah, sure, everything looks beautiful when you’re in love, blah blah blah, whatever. 

“Take my hand,” Lizzie instructed Joel, standing on the shore of a crystal clear lake. “And don’t let go, alright?”

Joel grinned and did as she asked. “I would never let go of you.”

Lizzie giggled, giving his hand a soft squeeze. “Oh, you sap. Now, remember what I told you!” And with that, she pulled him forward and onto the lake.

Not into.

On.

His hand in hers, Joel found himself walking on the surface of the lake, little waves rippling out from where he stepped. “Woah– Liz, this is insane! How are you doing that?”

Lizzie giggled, wings fluttering slightly behind her. “Oh, you know. Magic!” she chirped, continuing to lead him out onto the water.

Finally, the two stood in the middle of the most beautiful lake Joel had ever seen, and Lizzie turned around to take both of his hands in hers. Joel pulled her close, an arm around her waist, and laughed at her soft giggle. “You’re beautiful,” he breathed, and she smiled up at him.

“You’re not so hard on the eyes yourself,” she teased, gently brushing her hand against his cheek. 

“I do try my best,” Joel responded, giving her a smirk. “I’m glad you approve.”

Lizzie hummed softly, swaying slightly back and forth. Joel followed her lead, trying not to think too hard about the fact that they were literally standing on water. “I more than approve,” she told him. “I love it.” 

Joel raised an eyebrow. “Well, considering we’re getting married pretty soon–”

Lizzie smacked him with no real force, making an offended noise. “You shut up!” she scolded, before a smile brightened her face. “Dance with me.”

Joel’s eyes widened slightly, but he nodded. “I don’t really– I’ll do my best, mate, but no promises.”

“I’ll lead,” Lizzie promised. “Don’t you worry about a thing.” 

Joel had never really danced before, but he had always been a fast learner. Being a huntsman as well meant he was in tune with his body, and had quite the knack for swift, smooth footwork. Soon, the pair were dancing to a song no one else could hear, one shared between the two of them as their hearts beat for each other.

Joel twirled Lizzie before pulling her back in, and their steps fell in sync once more. They moved together as naturally as the wind moved through the trees, flowing like water in a stream. The lake rippled as they danced, footsteps disturbing the usually calm surface. 

“I thought you said you don’t dance,” Lizzie teased, her eyes shining as her wings fluttered behind her. 

“I don’t!” Joel insisted. “This is all you. I’d fall over the minute you asked me to do something more fancy.”

Lizzie giggled, shaking her head slightly. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.” 

“I give myself plenty of credit!” Joel protested, pretending to be offended. “I’m great! I just don’t dance.”

“You do now!” Lizzie sang, and the pair continued to dance.

The dance ended with Joel holding Lizzie close, the both of them silent as they simply held each other. The sky was beginning to paint itself in brilliant watercolours as the sun set. Content to just be near each other, the embrace lasted several moments before the two finally pulled apart. “That was lovely,” Lizzie breathed, her cheeks pink from the exertion and excitement. “Thank you, Joel.” Joel smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Anything for you.”

The moment was so incredibly romantic that, of course, something had to go wrong. That thing being Joel forgetting about Lizzie’s earlier instructions and letting go of her hand, just for a moment. But a moment was all that was needed, and the magic connection between them was broken, plunging Joel into the lake.

Once again he found himself sitting on the bank of a lake, sopping wet with Lizzie beside him. This time she was laughing at him instead of apologizing, and Joel let out a long groan. “Yes, yes, I know, that was stupid, I look like a wet dog, can you magic me dry now?”

Lizzie giggled, her wings fluttering behind her. “A wet wolf,” she corrected, waving her hand to summon a magic breeze. “You’re still very intimidating, I promise.”

Joel grumbled, drawing his knees up to his chest. “Well now you’re just being– you’re being very rude, Liz.”

Lizzie settled down next to him on the grass. “Aww, did someone get their feelings hurt?” she cooed. “What ever shall we do about that?”

Joel rolled his eyes, trying his hardest not to smile. “You could apologize,” he pointed out. “How ‘bout a kiss?”

Lizzie beamed. “Gladly.” She gently cupped Joel’s face with her hands and leaned in to kiss him. It was tender, loving, everything it could’ve been and more. After she pulled away, she turned to gaze up at the first stars to decorate the darkening sky. “We have stories about the stars,” she told Joel, who turned to gaze up at them himself. “Some of them are thousands of years old. Other stories are so old even the wisest among us can’t remember a time when they weren’t told.”

Joel nodded, letting out a soft hum. “We have those, too. Stories, I mean. Mum told me that stars represent souls.” He shrugged. “Dunno how true that is, though. Lots of stuff was just made up a long time ago.” He leaned against Lizzie. “What are your stories about?”

Lizzie smiled softly. “There’s one in particular I’ve been wanting to share. It’s been passed down the line of fae royalty for as long as there’s been a line to pass it down. I think that if any of our stories are going to be true, it would be this one.”

Joel turned to look at Lizzie, eyes shining with curiosity. “Well, I’m all ears, if you want to tell me.”

Lizzie nodded, taking a deep breath.

Our story starts with the void and the stars. For there would be no story to tell, had they not written the beginning. 

They were lonely, you see. Eternity, even when shared, is an incredible burden. One day, the void approached the stars with an idea. A simple concept, something that had been no more than a passing thought. 

Creation.

The stars grew quiet so she could better listen to the void speak. Hesitantly, the void explained, growing more and more certain as they continued. With their combined power, they would be able to shape the forms of four other gods and their domains. 

The first god was very similar to the stars. His domain was that of the sun, and he woke as the new star blazed into life. He was warm, compared to the cold void and the distant stars, and shone brightly. 

The second god was made with the light of the sun, for her duty was to shine when he could not. Her domain was that of the moon. There was a dim glow around her as she reflected the sun’s light, the only source of warmth.

The third god was molded carefully into life. His domain was the earth, and his duty was to be a home for those who wished to live there. The void and stars took care to place his domain perfectly. Being too close to the other gods would end in disaster, as would being too far.

Finally, the last god was made. The void wished for a god who could move freely, requiring no outside energy to act. The void herself was a vast source of great power, but could not act on their own– something always had to be given in order for them to act. And so the oceans were created, the fourth god set to gently drift in the waters.

Life flourished on the earth. Mortals were warmed by the sun, guided by the moon, nourished by the earth, and traveled by the sea. And the void and the stars watched over them all, no longer lonely. 

Lizzie’s last words rang out over the lake, Joel letting out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. There seemed to be some sort of magic in the air, as if the whole world– no, the whole universe– had stopped to listen to the story. 

“I like that,” Joel decided, “it’s a pretty story.”

Lizzie smiled, nodding. “It is very pretty. I like to imagine the gods when I’m looking at the stars, or walking through a forest, or gazing out at the sea. I wonder what they’re like. If they’re real, I mean.”

Joel let out a soft huff through his nose. “They’re probably super old. I mean, can you imagine?” He paused. “...well actually yeah, you probably can, but–”

Lizzie began to laugh, shaking her head. “You’re so silly,” she told him.

The rest of the night was spent under the stars, laughing and sharing stories.

“And what do you think you’re doing, heading out all on your own?”

Scar looked up from where he was fitting the last few things into his horse’s saddlebags. Grian was standing a few feet away from him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised in question. Scar had to laugh at that. “I was invited somewhere!” he explained. “Some friends of mine are gettin’ married.”

“Friends?” Grian tilted his head slightly. “I didn’t know you had friends.”

Mumbo looked over from where he was sitting, working on some sort of flower crown. “Mate, I’m pretty sure he just told us about them the other day. Joel and Lizzie, right?” 

Scar nodded, and Grian let out an annoyed trill. “Well, you didn’t tell me!” he insisted, feathers ruffling. After a moment of thought, he frowned. “Wait. Actually, I might be wrong. Must've slipped my memory… haven't been getting much sleep lately.”

“What’s this? Griba admitting he was wrong about something?” Pearl made her way over, using Grian as an armrest. “Impossible. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

“Get off–!” Grian ducked away, flaring out his wings to smack Pearl lightly. “I hate you. I hate you so much,” he grumbled, trying to bite back a smile. 

All the commotion drew Impulse over, and he joined the other knights by the stables. “What’s going on, guys?”

“I’m going to go marry my friends,” Scar explained again, which had Grian looking slightly confused.

“You’re ordained?” the avian asked, folding his wings behind him. 

Scar nodded. “Yep! Normal and horse ordained!”

Grian blinked. “Scar, you can’t marry horses.”

Scar laughed as he mounted his horse, looking down at the knights. “Those are the words of a quitter right there!”

“Well, have fun,” Impulse called over Grian’s squawking. “Be safe.” 

“Don’t make any more deals with the fae!” Pearl added on, which seemed to cause Grian more panic. 

“He’s going to the fae realm-?!” 

With that, Scar bid the knights goodbye and left for the fae realm.

The wedding was every bit as grand as it should’ve been for a queen. Grand, fancy, and yet somehow Joel wasn’t uncomfortable in the slightest. Unlike that time he had tried on a suit in the mortal realm, nothing felt forced or too stifling– it was all perfect. How could it not be? He was marrying the most amazing, beautiful woman in the world.

Flowers bloomed anywhere and everywhere they could, letting their sweet scent perfume the air. Lights shimmered in the grand willow trees, which bordered the venue perfectly. Everything about it was magical, in both a figurative and literal sense. 

So many people had come to witness the wedding. Fae, welcomed mortals, and even animals had gathered in the forest. Joel's eyes caught sight of Geraldine and the rest of his dogs, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling. His beloved horse was nearby as well, and of course Scar was there to officiate the whole thing.

“You look great!” Scar had told him, giving Joel a thumbs up. Which… wasn't very reassuring, but by then it was far too late to get cold feet. 

The music began, soft and beautiful. The idle chatter from the guests immediately died down, and the whole gathering collectively held their breath as they waited. 

Joel was not ashamed to admit he cried when he saw Lizzie in her wedding gown. All the love he had for her swelled up and filled him with so much joy that he simply hadn't been able to hold it in. She had joined him at the altar, and Joel had barely been able to concentrate on the proceedings. She was just so beautiful.

Finally, it was time to exchange vows. As sacred to the fae as they were, Lizzie and Joel shared their vows to each other and only each other through a magical connection. With closed eyes and loving hearts, they whispered sweet promises to each other. The weight of their vows settled comfortingly around their hearts, and then they kissed. 

Once upon a time, there lived a huntsman with a heart of gold. 

This is his happily ever after.

[chiropteracupola]

once again focusing in on dragon-surgeons with laserlike aim. we have several thoughts on this passage, which are as follows:

one: how does one dissect a dragon. what are they doing it with. are there attendants here with those massive two-person saws for this purpose, with the doctors spectating and directing? are the surgeons the guys with the massive saws? the dragons are So big compared to the people, are they crawling around in there? do they have students in attendance as they might at a human dissection?

two: 'dissection' is such a particular choice of word here. if you are taking apart your Coworker after their death that is an Autopsy. if you are taking apart an animal for food after their death that is Butchering, and if you are taking it apart for science that is a Necropsy. it is, what, 1806? dissection is scientific and not really for people you are regarding as People right about now. this is such a Way of pointing out the Strange Social Position of dragons in temeraireverse.

three: again I ask. how does one Become a dragon-surgeon. keynes seems to be equally adept at human medicine, and on his various adventures up to this point laurence hasn't been provided with an additional surgeon for his crew as well as for his dragon. what kind of medical school operations are going on in england and scotland to allow this guy Training. are medical students from edinburgh being funneled out to the covert at (iirc fictional) loch laggan to study dragons? what is the Draconic opinion on post-mortem disassembly for scientific purposes?

[thegreatyin]

scoundrel?? what scoundrel???? the magnificent mr cards (who ironically has more of a flower aesthetic going on) is completely unrelated to any "bandaged scoundrels" running around the neath. in fact it's never heard of the word scoundrel ever in its entire definitely long definitely ancient life. but yknow, hypothetically, if it did know the scoundrel, it's confident that they're really really really handsome and cool and epic and they're almost just as amazing as it is and you should totally donate all your valuables to them and stuff

aaand because i like them too much, have a transparent version. the Creachure. the Thing, even.

[flashhwing]

piggybacking off a post I just saw that I will not be reblogging so as not to expose op to the essek lovers following me. the “what did Adeen do” jokes are fun in some contexts but I think they do somewhat do a disservice to the textual answer which is …. nothing. well, not entirely nothing, but certainly not what he was framed, tortured, and imprisoned for. this is a man whose memory was modified for no reason other than it was convenient for Essek, and who suffered deeply for it. and idk I think when we talk about Essek’s character it’s easy to abstract his crimes away as like this very loose ~oh he had a hand in kickstarting a war that was probably going to happen anyway~~ but like. He Did Some Concrete, Fucked Up Shit

tl;dr: everyone wants to know what Adeen did to deserve Essek’s wrath that they forget the textual and most interesting answer which is. Nothing at all

[iknaenmal]

Would you still believe me if i told you im not a furry

[fluttershywheresheshouldntbe]

This blog will not be updating this week out of respect for the strike. Please do what you can and donate to Palestinian charities and relief efforts.

I have personally donated to PCRF but there are many others worth your time. UNRWA is worthwhile as is ESims for Gaza, not to mention the many gofundmes for refugees.

And even if you can't donate I highly suggest you spread the resource posts you can so as to keep information available.

[svtskneecaps]

if i get a purgatory 3 before the year is out i'm so sorry i'm going to be INSUFFERABLE