#not knowing if someone you love is okay
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I recently re-watched some of the MP100 anime and it's really got me thinking about how horrifying it must have been for Reigen all those times where he could only sit there and wait to hear if Mob was alright. As the audience, we follow Mob around the story, so he's not often absent to the viewers like he is to those who love him.
I've been thinking about season 1—Mob not showing up to work for the first time ever, not answering his phone, and his GPS pinging at a random spot in the middle of the forest outside the city. How must that taxi ride have felt for Reigen, just staring at the red dot on his phone screen, having no idea what he'd find? Sure, he's a powerful psychic, but he's also 14. He's just a boy.
Or during Mogami arc, when Reigen had to sit there next to Mob's body, empty and cold on the tile floor and completely devoid of life or a soul, with no idea when or if he'd return. After Dimple, who knows very well how possession works, had warned him again and again that Mob was dead and never coming home. The fact that when Mob first wakes up back in his body, Reigen was already bent over him, sweating, eyes wide, telling him, “I actually thought you might’ve died.” That was around 45 minutes or an hour for Reigen.
It took 4-5 hours for Reigen, Ritsu, Teru, and Dimple to just lay eyes on Shigeo after the explosion at the end of season 2. 4-5 hours of searching through the rubble after they all watched a massive explosion consume him first-hand. He was buried completely within the broccoli and they only found him once they got a shovel and started digging. How must it have felt, searching for that long and still not knowing if they were going to find him alive? Or those few moments after finding his face buried in the ground, calling out for him again and again without any response or signs of life? Reigen played it off as a joke—“I thought you were a goner back there Mob. Pretty scary!”—but you can hear the fear in their voices when they’re calling for Mob to wake up, and it’s not really a joke.
Or even before that, when Reigen was sprinting his way up hundreds of stairs, gun heavy in his hands, after Dimple told him that Toichiro was intent on mercilessly killing Mob. Walking in and finding him crumpled and broken, held up by his hair. One very quiet, very weak “Ma…ster…” and then he’s unmoving on the ground. Desperately, “Hey…! You still alive, Mob?”
“I’m a pathetic excuse for a master.” Always left waiting until it’s too late. Until Confession Arc, when he finally runs into the fray to bring Mob home himself, just in time.
#today and yesterday have been sad reigen days#thinking about ritsu’s agony here too is also awful#or the kageyama parents#esp in s3 during mob’s arc#neither of her kids are home or answering the phone#i personally know what it feels like to sit and wait#for hours#not knowing if someone you love is okay#wouldn’t wish that on anyone#reigen needs a therapist lol#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#reigen arataka#ritsu kageyama#long post
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justice design concepts
#joy.jpg#anders#justice#justanders#dragon age#dragon age awakening#dragon age 2#dragon age origins#dao#daa#da2#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#clip studio paint#i think inviting someone else into your body permanently and doing away with any notion of privacy for the rest of your life is so intimate#you will never have a secret again. you will be entirely known to someone else. you will become their eyes their hands their home#and everything they know from that moment on will be colored by a lens of you. you are as inextricable as you are cherished#no one else will ever love you like that. no one else has the capacity to. is that okay?
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LUO BINGHE CASUAL SENSHI COSPLAYER
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
(context)
#poorly drawn svsss#svsss#modern au#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#okay technically shen yuan because this is a modern au but I don't have a separate tag for the two.#Casual cosplayers are the worlds strongest fans. You vibe with a series/character so much that you take on their style into daily life.#For every person that learned better self care with Dungeon Meshi there is someone who learned they were into hot bears because of senshi#I also know there are some people who learned they wanted to *be* a hot bear because of senshi - so extra kudos to those folks.#Shen Yuan would love dungeon meshi...Guy who can't cook but would still buy the limited time kitchen set.#Also I feel like I've leaned too much into the 'LBH pines for SQQ/SY' and neglected the equally true reversal.#They fact they are both obsessed with each other is what makes them so good. SQQ is just more in his head about it.
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.
But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)
#oh. my god chat. do i have a lot to say now#IM LOVE HIM#oh my god#fhis is the only time ur gonna see me say i love shadow milk directly and not his art HAHAHA#FUCCKKKKK#this one rlly has me messed up#ive been sitting on this concept for a long while!!! i just cant rlly nail the vibes that i want for it… but mroe than anything i want to#show him to you guys.. so issok if yall see the flopfail before i learn how to better capture my mental image#oh it’s so possessed. btw. like not even a second of thought has to be put into it#LMAO#physical vessel for the shreds of his essence that managed to avoid being sealed up. it’s not enough of him to do anything crazy…#but just enough to put you on edge :)#golden freddy pose shadow milk (i will be drawing this some day)#his ability to move is really sporadic#sometimes he’ll be right in the middle of attempting to make a gesture and then he’ll collapse mid movement… darn#(kicks him) fuck you#i think he’s….. cute.#haha.#okay#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#mystuff#cookie run#crk#crk fanart#cookie run fanart#fave#is it egotistical to put a fave tag on MY OWN ART yeah probably BUT U GUYS DONT. GE T. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VARIANT#doodled an oc x canon w this concept in class 2day n realized too late someone wuz watching me draw…………… man.#IM AT TAG LIMIT????? FUCK MY LIFEEE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING. BYE LOL!!!!!
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thinking about crowyuan saving liu qingge from his qi deviation and disappearing before he can fully wake up so he won't be recognized (him being a demon and all), but it causes liu qingge to accidentally mistake him for shen qingqiu.
there is a massive fight during the next peak lord meeting, with liu qingge accusing shen qingqiu of saving his life and not taking responsibility for it as if it's a war crime, while shen qingqiu keeps denying he had anything to do with it and if he had saved liu qingge, he'd be rubbing it in his face every chance he got.
it escalates and escalates until liu qingge, red with embarrassment and anger, points at shen qingqiu and says "you were cradling me in your arms!" and shen qingqiu explodes.
mu qingfang tries to calm them down by saying that perhaps liu qingge hallucinated, which is not uncommon for a qi deviation, but that sets off some of the other peak lords who now start teasing him for "dreaming of shen qingqiu coming to rescue him", and of course that only makes it worse.
liu qingge refuses to let it go and starts bringing shen qingqiu his victories to try and pay off his debt, because he is an honorable man and he will not let shen qingqiu get away with this!!
meanwhile shen yuan is watching it from a distance wondering whether he made it better or worse by stepping in.
#sorry the image of liu qingge standing and shouting at shen qingqiu because he saved his life is just so funny to me#theyre arguing like ''you saved my life i am indebted to you!!!'' ''no ew wtf leave me alone??''#shen qingqiu was NOT amused#yes shen yuan DID cradle liu qingge in his arms. just picture it like ariel<3#liu qingge cant stop thinking about the feeling of gentle arms around him and a soft hand brushing the hair from his face#im telling you hes considering getting injured again just for that#part of why shen qingqiu keeps denying it also is because he knows someone else did this but doesnt want to be seen#which is incredibly suspicious#and hes trying to tell everyone like hey listen some rando saved liu qingge with an intense amount of spiritual energy and then disappeared#yall dont think that's weird???#but everyone else has an iq of 40 so theyre like ''its okay shixiong its nothing to be ashamed about''#weirdos#i love them<3#crowyuan#crowyuan au#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#liu qingge#liushen#both of em honestly#svsss au
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it's sometimes so silly to look in the notes of a polyamory art/post and see people like "is this cheating art....?" when the characters in canon are all extremely close friends. i know it's not malicious because most people think of monogamy as the default and anything outside that Must be cheating, but truly i'm always like. guys. guys Please.
please think about this for like 2 seconds.
under what circumstances do we think this non-canon couple might hold hands directly in front of their canon partners. and under what circumstances do we think the canon partners might be okay with this. do we Truly think this is a secret relationship. do we Truly think these guys would sneak around behind their canon partners' backs when all of them are extremely close friends with a high level of trust and commitment to each other.
would assuming that these extremely close friends have actually communicated with one another Exactly The Same Way They Do In The Canon Source Material perhaps cause less despair.....
#and like. you guys know I LOVE RELATIONSHIP DRAMA. I LOVE EVERYONE BEING STUPID ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS#BUT SOEMTIMES WHEN THE ART IS JUST CUTE AND SWEET. WE CAN SIMPLY ASSUME. THAT IT'S CUTE AND SWEET. PLEASE...#i'm also a little sadder and more flabbergasted by how many shipping discourse lavwin posts are in the tag right now.#and how many posts i keep opening to see shipping discourse in the replies....#please guys i'm begging you. use the 'delete reply' function. It's So Good.#i've been deleting bad faith replies on my posts for YEARS and at this point it's extremely rare for me to get ANY#you simply can't give people wiggle room for bad faith arguing. you just have to not do that.#'i get this but don't like it / i'm confused and don't like this' 'okay? i don't care...?'#cuz when you reply 'aw that's okay! here's my good faith response <3' everyone else is like 'oh i see! someone i can air my grievances upon#you simply Have to say 'actually you're being rude and i don't like it.' and/or delete their response.#It Is That Simple. Please. Love Yourselves
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my bone marrow turned to lava. my lungs filled with hot wet sand.
#tw eyestrain#tw eye strain#eyestrain#just in case!!#it doesnt hurt my eyes but it could hurt someone elses#art#lester papadopoulos#toa fanart#trials of apollo#toa#my art#digital art#the burning maze#you know i had to!#oh yeah#cw blood#tw blood#okay.. i think thats it#sighssss#my babygirl#i love you lester-apollo. apollo-lester. just lester.
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ik it's just homophobia at work, but something that's always puzzled + bugged me is when fans can't apply the real-life complexities of romance, sexuality, and identity to fictional romance. I'll see a well-thought out analysis of how Ochako or Izuku are great examples of comphet, for example, and all of a sudden here comes a pack of dudebros shouting "MHA fans don't know how to read OCHAKO CANONICALLY LIKES MEN! IZUKU BLUSHES AROUND GIRLS! THEY ARE STRAIGHT!" from the rooftops....like.....okay? Should we clap? It's the same spirit that drives antis to rush to social media to say "bkdk and togachako are dead I prayed for times like these" instead of just enjoying their own ship 💀
It's "sexuality can be fluid and sometimes your understanding of the attraction you experience (or don't) changes over time and that's okay!" Unless, of course, you're talking about [insert character here who must be straight because it kinda seemed like it in these three panels from four years ago~] Like oh brother, give it a rest.
Again, there's nothing wrong w/ disagreeing with headcanons like these!! You might think, "well, I actually think Ochako's crush on Izuku is genuine and that they would make a cute couple!" That's great, love! Ship to your heart's content! My issue is when people act like any interpretations aside from heterosexuality are insane and the product of some inability to understand the source material. Especially when it doesn't affect your individual hcs or enjoyment of the series at all? And especially when most of these headcanons often come from actual queer fans seeing their experiences in these characters' journeys.
#IT MAKES ME LIVID OKAY!#“Izuku's love interest is literally a girl” in response to someone hc'ing Izuku as queer#getting like thousands of likes on twitter#like ok what if you tried not speaking!#ochako uraraka#uraraka ochako#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bakudeku#bkdk#katsudeku#togachako#comphet lesbian ochako you'll always be acknowledged by me the signs are clear#brings me back to when I was reading up on comphet#I was like ochako...i know what you are! 🫵#anyways there's a diff between respectfully being like#“Oh but doesn't Izuku like Ochako? It seemed that way based on [] so I don't really see her as a lesbian personally”#And treating people like they're not intelligent + simply projecting + lack media literacy for thinking otherwise#especially with the way hori writes romance#mmhp
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Okay literally no one asked but as a former Hobbit movie hater who has since experienced character growth, I feel compelled to share my thoughts on the movies on my gay little blog.
Listen. There are legit reasons to be critical of these movies. They were made on a rushed timeline, at time where CGI overuse was the thing and there are definitely unnecessary moments. But despite those issues, these movies still have a lot of heart and character and some really wonderful acting! To compare them to LOTR, is unfair I think because LOTR was such an unimaginable success and I truly believe no other movie franchise can do what those movies did. To expect the Hobbit movies to be the same caliber considering the behind the scenes drama and massive difference in timeline is just not it.
Truly I think that the Hobbit could have been much more than it was and it’s sad to see the amazing moments and realize that we could have had movies that were maybe closer to the level of LOTR, but that doesn’t take away from all of the great things that the movies gave us! Despite what he may be like irl, Martin Freeman was a great young Bilbo, Richard Armitage was insanely good as Thorin (despite the change in age) and the other dwarf actors brought a great sense of loyalty, brotherhood and shared loss to their roles. The music is still dope as hell and there are some beautiful shots despite all the CGI.
This is way too long and I’ve not said anything that hasn’t been said before but honestly, I’m so glad that I stopped hating on these movies and have seen the special things about them. Nothing will ever compare to LOTR, but that doesn’t make these movies bad. They’re fun, they’re emotional, they have great characterization and it’s super valid to enjoy them.
Final gay thoughts because I’m obligated, but I struggle with people who argue against Bagginshield with the whole “why does everyone have to make everything gay?” thing. Because Hollywood is so deeply homophobic that we see so little genuine queer representation, so forgive us for enjoying the chemistry we find and making it our own since our society gives us breadcrumbs. If you’re not into Bagginshield, totally legit and fine, but don’t hate on other people (especially queer people) trying to find some romantic love in media that we enjoy. Also no one can convince me that Richard Armitage wasn’t at least somewhat intentionally putting his queer energy into this role, I will die on this hill.
Anyway, TL;DR there’s no shame in liking or loving the Hobbit movies despite their faults and there are lots of things to appreciate and enjoy and I for one, am glad to leave my LOTR purist hater days behind me
#the hobbit#the hobbit movies#thorin oakenshield#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#lotr#I will die on this hill#as a reformed hater#I know no one cares but what is my gay blog for if not to rant about my own takes#let people enjoy things you haters#like I love LOTR more than anything in the world and I know the Hobbit movies weren’t as good but still#they are so enjoyable and I refuse to be a hater anymore#and that’s on GROWTH#life is so much more fun when you enjoy things#okay sorry another tag but it has to be said#someone shipping characters together doesn’t take away from anyone else’s desire to see those characters in a platonic way#like as long as it’s not a clearly problematic ship just leave people alone#like damn we can enjoy things in different ways and no one has to be right#I also love the argument of NO THESE CHARACTERS ARE STRAIGHT#like oh? was that explicitly said? no? well then let people interpret how they will#let’s stop assuming everything is always straight
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"Come here." Yuji slips a hand onto the small of your back and tries to bring you next to him instead of letting you trail along behind him. The crowd surrounding you doesn't let him.
"You okay?" You mumble, somehow managing to bump your shoulder against his. You're used to Yuji's doting by now, but he's strangely focused on you today.
He doesn't respond. The noise of the crowd seems to disappear into the background as you catch sight of his facial expression — a tenseness between his brows and a vacant look in his eyes, plus he's not even looking in your direction. It's a sign that he's been running on autopilot with you for at least the past ten minutes. You curse yourself for not noticing it sooner.
You try again. "Yuji?"
"Huh?" He turns back to meet your gaze. Whatever internal stress he's been working through is replaced quickly with a smile. You wouldn't have known he was faking if you hadn't caught his facial expression before. How many times have you missed something like this? "Just don't want to lose you in the crowd!" He says cheerfully, curling his hand into your shirt and then splaying his fingers out repeatedly. A nervous action. One of many that you're still figuring out.
"Yuji." You say, managing to guide him through the crowd to a quieter corner. "Are you okay?"
He hesitates and his gaze shifts from your face to a spot behind you. "Mm."
"That's not an answer."
"I know, I know! I'm just thinking."
"About?"
Yuji shrugs his shoulders, shifting his gaze away.
Don't do this. You want to say. Please burden me with whatever it is you're worried about. Please don't—
It feels difficult to swallow. "Do you want to just go watch a movie instead?"
"No way!" His eyes are wide, almost panicked. "You've been wanting to go to that dessert place forever."
Shaking your head, you reach forward and cup his cheeks between your palms, squishing slightly so that he's forced to look at you. "And it'll still be there tomorrow, and hopefully, the day after." You pause, whispering your next words. "Not asking for me right now, Yuji. Do you want to go today? Right now?"
He seems to deflate slightly at your question, but hesitantly and so slowly, he shakes his head. You catch his eyes flicker and you know he's about to come up with an apology, churned from the guilt he feels from burdening you with this, and perhaps, for wrenching away whatever happy moment he thinks he's stolen away from you.
"Okay." You say, simply.
Sometimes it's impossible to tell what he's thinking. Sometimes he gets very quiet and vulnerable. Being constantly loud and friendly covers that stark difference a bit too obviously. It's at times like this that you wish you could say the words directly into his brain so he gets it quicker.
I'm here. I'm here. Yuji, focus. I'm here. There's only so much you can do.
"Let's go." You murmur, sliding your hand into his.
This will have to do.
#can someone hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay??#caught up with the jjk manga again bc yuta is back (also sukuna <3) and i am in shambles#small yuji thought to ease back into writing#yuji x reader#jjk x reader#itadori yuji#— alathea writes#jjk fluff#annual return to fic writing and it's not nsfw!!#itadori x reader#jjk yuuji#established relationship#something something you can know be around someone enough to know their habits but there'll still be things you miss out on regardless#he cares for you more when he gets stressed btw#love in the quiet
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Never gonna live that down.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan jingyi#jin ling#Surprise comic for today because this was cut from the previous comic.#And I'm so close to finishing season 2! I want to post my final comics and celebrate!#I imagine they (the juniors) hold the stabbing incident over Jin Ling's head for years. Akin to a funny typo in the group chat.#The stabbing is his Grink. Every time JL and WWX are seen interacting someone makes a teasing remark.#“I'm going to go ask Wei Wuxian what he thinks about our night hunt plans.” “Okay! Don't stab him ^-^.”#I also imagine WWX eventually leaning into it. A little bit of teasing to let it be known that there are no hard feelings.#LWJ (the funniest guy ever) would bide his time. Waiting for it to die down.#Then launch devastating blow as he joins in with “Wei Ying is in the courtyard. Please refrain from stabbing him today.”#Modern AU juniors would be brutal with the group chat lore. The pinned messages is a hall of fame and a hall of shame.#Nothing is forgotten. Nothing is sacred.#And poor jin ling is too reactionary. He is the ideal target because he flusters in a funny way.#I (the punchline friend) know my role well. I have been at the epicenter of many memorable typos and on-going bits.#You have to embrace it. Reverse it on them. Wield it as your power. Edit your messages to INCLUDE the typo.#(Fellow punchlines; I would *love* to hear your stories. Your jestery burdens. Your infamous typos. This is a safe space.)
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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.
.
#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended#this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty#but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ”#I hate it with a passion#I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for#but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved#not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now”#“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me”#people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence#depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better#it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think#and it rustles my jimmies#answered#anonymous
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☆ de fontaine
{��} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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Luke calling Percabeth an old married couple just to remind OG readers that Luke doesn’t have romantic feelings for Annabeth this time around 😭
#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo tv series#does this count as book spoilers if it’s smth they are changing for the better?#literally that weird ass love confession ruined Luke’s character in my opinion#i know some say it’s up for interpretation but I also know there’s evidence in the books I’d have to scour#Luke’s redemption arc is this tv show#“she’s my sister#omg you guys r a married couple and I’m okay with that because I don’t like someone who I met at age 14 and she 7#annabeth chase#percabeth
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Idk if this is weird or not but could you draw Diluc telling me— someone they did a good job?
Not having the best time and I love your Diluc so much 😅
oh anon :( i hope this brings you some form of comfort <3
#of course i don’t know what you look like#so i tried to keep the self insert semi vague but i did base it off a dear friend of mine#i hope that is okay#and i hope you are okay#please take care#i am always available if someone needs to talk#people in the unlikeliest places care for and love you#asks#anon#diluc#my art#genshin impact#diluc x yn#diluc x reader
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