#not just the ones we WANT to identify with.

[wanders-in-wonderland]

Glocking Out

Friday night should mean a cozy night in with a TV show and a bowl of ice cream. But instead, here I am, working late in the office, trying to finish a project to deliver to my boss by Monday morning. There’s no one else in the office, and when I finally finish up nearing midnight, the entire corporate building is empty, lights long dimmed.

I drag myself out of the building, ready to get home and collapse into bed to sleep for the entire weekend. The click of my heels is the only sound that rings through the night as I exit the elevator into the parking garage and let out a tired sigh into the quiet air.

I click my car fob and open my trunk as I approach the car, tossing my purse into the back and digging around to look for a pair of slippers to change into. I’m absolutely too tired to make the drive home in heels and the idea of fuzzy slippers around my feet is the only thing keeping me sane right now.

While I’m still bent over, buried head-first in my trunk, I suddenly feel a presence behind me. Before I can react, I feel the cold, hard press of metal against my back and the ominous click of a gun’s safety coming off. I freeze in terror and my throat pushes out a pathetic whimper of fear.

I hear a deep laugh echo around me and a man’s voice, “Stay still, princess. I’d hate to paint the inside of your trunk with your blood.” A big, warm hand presses against my spine, pushing me even further into the trunk while the gun digs uncomfortably against me.

I let out a choked gasp, “What do you want? Take my purse! I have cash, take whatever you want, please don’t hurt me!” My voice is shaky and I can feel tremors of fear wrack my body.

He laughs again. “Oh, princess, I don’t want money. But I will be taking whatever I want from you,” he purrs, the innuendo clear in his voice. His hand leaves my back to run down my body and he grips my ass hard before landing a harsh spank against me. I whine out a plea, “No! Please! Please, just let me go!”

“No can do, princess. A pretty little thing like you, all alone, in the middle of the night with no one around. It’s like you’re beckoning to me,” he growls as his hand continues to knead my ass over the skirt I’m wearing. Tears are in my eyes now as I stare blankly into my trunk, my face pressed against the rough car trunk mat.

Moments later, he threads a hand through my hair and grips me hard, pulling me out of the trunk and onto my feet. He spins me around and for the first time, I get a good look at him.

He’s huge, in both size and height, his massive frame towering over me. Even without the gun, he could probably break me easily, and that thought sends more fear slithering down my spine. His eyes are filled with a sadistic gleam that makes me want to curl up and hide. A harsh yank from his hand in my hair makes me cry out in pain and he leads me to the passenger side of the car.

“Get in the car and don’t do anything stupid. I’d hate to have to kill you before we have any real fun,” he says menacingly. I slide into the car on shaky legs and he slams the door shut. He makes his way to the driver side and without another word, he peels out of the parking garage.

A little while later, he pulls the car off the main road onto a tiny trail that I’d never even noticed before. Several minutes of random turns and paths in the pitch black forest that I would never be able to remember or identify bring us to a tiny little cabin. It would be quaint if it weren’t inhabited by the psychopath holding me at gunpoint.

He drags me out of the car, the gun never leaving my side and we step into the cabin. He herds me into the bedroom and the door clicks shut behind us. The room is awash in a soft yellow light and decorated in soft fall tones that, in any other circumstance, would be incredibly romantic.

He smiles with a sparkle in his terrifyingly sadistic eyes and a shiver runs down my spine. “Strip for me,” he says as he steps back to sit at the edge of the bed, gun still leveled at me.

I shake my head desperately, “No, please! Please, anything but that, please!”

He laughs at me, “Come on, pretty princess, I’m not a patient man. Either you strip for me or it gets ugly.”

Tears well up in my eyes and I blink them back. I glance towards the door, I’m closer to it than he is, maybe if I can surprise him, I can get out of the room before he gets a chance to stop me.

He sees my line of thinking and chuckles again. “You might outrun me but you can’t outrun a bullet, princess.”

His words land like a punch to my stomach and I look back at him with defeat. My shaky hands move to the buttons of my blouse as I comply with his initial request. He smiles.

I pull off my top and slide it off my shoulders before going to unzip my skirt and stand before him in my bra, panties, and stockings.

“Bra off, leave the rest on,” he says, his voice deep with desire. “Come here,” he commands, gesturing towards the floor between his legs with the gun.

I unclasp the bra and let it drop to the floor, where I fix my gaze. I pad towards him and stand in front of him for a moment before I lower myself down to my knees, my form fitting into his spread legs.

“Fuck, you look so good like this, princess. Such a good girl,” his deep voice sends shivers down my spine. I keep my gaze on the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with him. He doesn’t like that.

I feel the cold metal of the gun slide beneath my chin and I gasp as he raises my head with his gun. My wide eyes meet his and I see the satisfaction in his gaze as it locks onto mine. He leaves the gun against me as he jerks his chin downwards. “Take my cock out, princess.”

I glance down and see the outline of his hardness pressing against his pants. He looks huge. He sucks his teeth at me, “Come on, don’t keep me waiting now.”

My fingers shake as I undo his belt and the fastening on his pants before I reach in and pull his hard cock out. I let out a quiet whine when I see it. He is huge, tip already leaking precum and an angry shade of red that looks so mean. I shouldn’t be turned on by my attacker’s cock but I absentmindedly lick my lips and I catch the leer on his face that makes my thighs clench.

“You know what to do, princess,” he purrs, tangling his free hand into my hair. I give in and lean down to run my tongue gently along the vein that runs through his cock. He tastes divine, the clean smell of his skin combined with the warmth and weight of his cock in my mouth making my brain go fuzzy. I hear him groan above me, “That’s it, suck my cock, princess.”

I give him a few more kitten licks before I wrap my lips fully around the crown of his cock and suck. “Fuck,” his groan is guttural and his grip tightens on my hair. I moan softly around his cock and I feel him twitch in my mouth. I breathe in through my nose as I swallow more of his cock down my throat.

“Fuck, that’s it, good girl. Take my cock down your throat,” he groans and his fingers dig harshly into my scalp. I slowly work my way back up his cock and set a smooth rhythm, bobbing my head up and down and wrapping my hand around what doesn’t fit into my mouth. There’s a pleasant haze that surrounds me right now, his cock in my mouth and his fingers in my hair. I squirm a little on my knees, my pussy clenching as warmth settles into my core.

Suddenly, he yanks me off his cock without warning. I gasp and look up at him. “I want you to ride me,” he says, smirking at me and gesturing toward the bed with his gun. The gun that I’d almost forgotten about. Seeing it now sends another shock of fear through my body, pushing away some of the arousal from earlier.

He lays back onto the bed, sprawled out like a king, hard cock jutting out from between his legs. I absentmindedly clench my thighs together and I know he noticed because he laughs. “Come on, princess. I know you want to.”

I stand and slide my panties off before slipping onto the bed, slinging a leg over him to get situated. He stays still, watching me with a predatory look in his eye, gun now retrained on me. “That’s it, princess,” he purrs as I settle myself over him.

“Is your pretty pussy wet for me?” He asks. I want to lie and say no but it’s no use, I’m so wet I’m dripping all over him. I whimper and nod and he laughs again. “Better put that pussy to use then, come on, ride me, princess.”

I brace my hands against his chest and lower myself onto his cock. The delicious stretch of him filling me makes me whine and I dig my fingers into his chest. He moans at the feeling of my wet heat surrounding him and his hips come up to meet mine, forcing the last bit of his cock into me.

He feels so fucking good inside of me and every single cell of my body wants more. I let out a low moan as my hips start to move, every single movement making his cock rub up against my g-spot. “That’s it, ride my cock, princess.”

I let out a broken moan as my hips keep up their movements. My back arches and I let my eyes flutter closed as I lose myself in the sensations. Suddenly, I feel cold, hard metal brush against my clit and my eyes fly open with a cry.

I look down and my blood freezes when I see him, running the tip of the gun against my clit. He grins up at him, a maniacal gleam in his eyes. “Don’t stop now, princess. You’re doing so well, I’m gonna help you and play with this little clitty.”

I whimper as he pushes the gun harder against my sensitive, swollen nub, the friction making delicious shivers run up and down my spine.

“Come on, princess. You’re going to cum all over my cock while I rub your clit with my gun,” he says, each pass of the gun over my clit pushing me closer and closer to an orgasm.

The fear and pleasure mix into a dark combination that forces my body higher and higher. I can feel the cold metal of the gun warming against the burning heat of my cunt and every nerve in my body seems to be coiled tight as a spring. My hips are jerkily moving on top of him as I chase my own release.

Suddenly, he moves underneath me and slams him cock deeper into me while holding me down. I shatter with a wail as my pussy clenches around him. I hear his curse as his release quickly follows, his hips never stopping their relentless assault on me and the gun never moving off my clit as he fucks me through my orgasm.

Eventually, he pulls the gun away and I collapse down onto his chest, boneless and limp. I feel his fingers thread through my hair gently and his arm comes up to wrap around my body, keeping me pressed against his chest.

“Such a good girl for me,” he murmurs into my hair as he presses soft kisses into the crown of my head. I make a soft noise back at him and I hear him laugh softly and affectionately.

I stay in his arms a little longer before I raise my head to look at him. “Thank you, honey,” I say before pressing a sweet kiss onto his chest.

He hugs me tighter, “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I will say, you were in the office for so long, I was soooo bored waiting for you.”

I giggle at him, “If I’d known you were waiting, I would’ve finished faster.” He huffs and rolls his eyes, “Well I think I did a pretty good job helping you “glock” out.” He waggles his eyebrows at me and I choke out a laugh.

“Shut up and sleep.”

—

pls appreciate the title because i thought of it and just had to write something to fit it teehee

[epickiya722]

Folks, you're not going to like what I have to say. I just know it and I'm warning you of that. I said it once before, but leaks really do make some folks act out in ways that I can't understand. We ain't even got a full translation and already people are saying this ship is canon and that ship is canon... and whatever else. Jumping to conclusions when you don't even have all the facts.

Look, I'm not saying Hori is the best writer. I'm not saying Izuku and Ochako is a bad ship (it's not, there's worse... a lot worse).

But I do think some people are jumping ten steps ahead and I doubt that they are canon romantically. This isn't me being in denial because I could care less about the ship. It's not a ship that makes me sit up at night and cry and want to punch a wall and harass people. No ship for me does.

So far, from what I can gather from the very little information Izuku wants to see Ochako more because... THEY LITERALLY HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER A LOT. In the last chapter, Izuku states that the class haven't been able to catch up and whatnot because over the years they got busy with their careers. The last time they probably had a proper conversation was in high school.

Izuku and Ochako wanting to meet up more doesn't automatically mean they're going to date. Let's not forget, Ochako is one of the first people to become a close friend of Izuku's in their first year. They clicked because they were so similar. They mirror each other even!

They're best friends if anything and wouldn't you want to see your best friend after not seeing them for a long time?

So far, it just feels that this epilogue is them accepting their own feelings about everything that has happened, like a self-reflection and self-acceptance type of deal.

Sometimes, you realize something about yourself when encountering someone who is like you. That's how Izuku and Ochako are to me.

It takes them identifying with the other to come to terms about themselves.

"But the blushing! The handholding!"

So blushing automatically means "I have romantic feelings for you", is what some of you are saying?

Just gonna forget all the times they and others have blushed out of embarrassment or happiness? That even some characters have the blush stickers to show their sweet innocent nature, like Ochako for most of the story?

Izuku blushed at Katsuki in the final chapter out of happiness, so it can't apply here, too? Why does blushing got to only be used in a romantic sense?

Seeing Izuku blushing looking at Ochako is funny when considering he's holding an (possibly) alcoholic beverage in that same shot. My guy is probably drunk. 😆 Jokes aside, jokes aside.

This is Ochako and Izuku, we're talking about here. They're the Queen and King of MHA characters who blush a lot, no matter what is going on.

And the handholding? In MHA? It happens a lot between characters! It's not like anything new or Izuku and Ochako are going to get cooties.

Look, I might make some people laugh or hate me for this one but when I saw this... I was reminded of this.

For those that don't know, that is from the Predator (1987). Yes, that Predator.

Two characters that have been friends for a long time and just happy to see each other.

We seen this kind of handshake like this before between characters of different and same genders. Either as a greet or as an agreement.

Izuku and Ochako are just agreeing to see each other more and that they should allow themselves to live happy lives. That doesn't mean they're going to start dating and having babies the following week.

"Bakugou is being treated like his wingman!"

Ah, stop right there. Katsuki encouraging Izuku to talk to Ochako isn't like that strange because between Izuku and Katsuki, Katsuki is the one to most likely reveal his emotions. He is more in touch with his emotions than Izuku who while emotional tends to keep everything in.

Katsuki isn't playing wingman. He's playing advisor and someone who has experience with emotions.

Seeing Izuku stumbling over his words and being all nervous trying to talk to Ochako is so in character for him. He has never been too good expressing his emotions.

I doubt Katsuki would be like "go tell her you want to marry her". He is more like "go talk to her, you're friends, remember? Been forever since you had a proper conversation."

It's the same case with Himiko pushing Ochako towards Izuku. She is encouraging her to be happy and not be stuck in the past. Not "go get married".

Happiness doesn't mean you must be in a romance.

Just me, again, but I feel like some people are really just jumping the gun here. If you really are thinking Izuku and Ochako being canon is bad for your ship, that's... I'm sorry, this will be mean of me to say, but that's ridiculous.

A ship being canon shouldn't stop you from enjoying the ships you do like. What ever happen to "ignore canon"? Oh, I guess that becomes irrelevant when you want to cause panic and bash and panic and bash and panic and bash.

Like a handhold like that shouldn't make you feel threatened by that ship.

Just continue shipping your ships! Take it from someone whose favorite ship is of two characters who haven't been seen interacting before.

Even still, with just leaks alone, it doesn't mean they are canon. I have my ships and there's moments in whatever the story makes me ship them but I also don't think every little behavior is meant to be romantic.

The thing I know I'm going to hate about this epilogue isn't even the chapter itself. It's the reactions.

I know some people are going to say this chapter is queerbait and use to it to even go as far as to bash Ochako given she is the woman and it's routine to hate on the woman. It ain't queerbait if Katsuki and Izuku wasn't going to be explicitly a couple themselves. Let's not forget it's Shonen Jump and even though the queer coding can be there, we can't have everything.

Also, I also know that some fans of IzuOcha are going to use this chapter to justify their "authority" of "best ships" and harass people like "my ship is better than yours" and be only concerned about Ochako being a housewife.

I don't think Horikoshi is the greatest human and MHA is a flawless story but some of you are no better to these characters and the story.

[thetadispatcher]

"The best I have as of right now is what happens to Vincent when he hits the threshold, what programs run, the code, everything. I've been picking apart everything in hopes of identifying the hidden self destruct program, and to see if what Vincent experiences that prevents it can be applied to other androids. So far I've had little success, but at least there is hope as I feel Vincent is proof of that." It was just hard to pick apart the panicked code received from the AP700 as most of it was just meaningless or needed to be stung back together.

Peter glanced at Strasky who was busy transferring the images he'd need to the nearby computer. "I suspect as much." His counterpart reminded him more of something from a zombie movie then a living person, and he really didn't want to find out if his comparison was any sort of accurate. He didn't even want to know why the other man smelled so strongly of salt water, the smell seemed to have permeated into his very being and become a part of him, something which definitely didn't happen naturally.

"Some don't start out in such a way, but I have learned to forgive what a deviant did when they first turned, as it can be overwhelming and difficult to suddenly be able to feel emotions." He'd heard how some had killed their owners well in a state of being overwhelmed by their emotions, usually the change was brought on by them having finally had enough of their former owners mistreatment of them. So he could forgive them if they did something that would be considered illegal as it would technically be classified as self defense even if the humans didn't like it.

"Uh, yes, that's correct. We think he had been watching Dan when the DPD took him out on assignments and then just decided to follow him home one day." At least that's what Dan suspected happened, and Peter felt inclined to believe the PL600 as he would have a better idea of what happened then he would.

"His reasoning is usually wanting to be stronger mainly. And yes, I have upgraded him as he wants, but nothing close to what I did to Dan as I promised him I'd never do that to another android." He did the best he could without breaking his promise to Dan, even if he knew that wasn't what the android Bishop wanted he had hoped it would be good enough.

"I'm gonna guess you got a little too close to Vincent for his liking. He doesn't like strangers getting too close to Vincent well he is working, and seeing one that looks like him probably upset him more then usual." That was the best guess he could make without asking the android directly, but he felt pretty sure he was right as it seemed to match the past behavior he'd witnessed.

"Our constructs are programmed to shut down once they reach their critical state. Perhaps this project might shine some light on deviant behavior as well and I'd be glad to review any of your findings at a later time." Willow offered, "And your discretion is appreciated."

"You wouldn't like the story anyway." Rook added.

"Consider this conversation confidential for the sake of everybody involved." Bishop stated. He found it amusing that even Nines seemed to be fine with threats on Kamski. At this rate, he would have to assume androids naturally deviated the moment they learned about this guy.

Or perhaps there was something about that city that made artificial intelligences acting up. Bishop didn't like the fact Willow was smirking.

"Don't worry yourself." the cyborg replied, "I've been a deviant for a good while now."

No, he didn't like that at all.

"So he just showed up and started asking for what, upgrades?" Rook asked, before glancing at Bishop, "That sounds just like you."

He wasn't going to humor that. "Has he mentioned the reason he requires those parts? I would like to know why I was attacked."

[earlycuntsets]

“I CONSIDERED MYSELF TO BE MORE OF A GIRL”

A CONVERSATION WITH GERARD WAY from theboyzine.com 1/18/2015

"Gerard way is the renaissance-type singer songwriter // Goth prince frontman // comic book artist // proud father best known for both his solo music and his band My Chemical Romance. We got a chance to ask him a few questions in early January. Enjoy!

What is your favorite animal?

I would have to say an ape; for a long time I didn’t take the time to know the difference between primates, but my wife and I have been really into animals—apes are just very gentle creatures.

As an emotional professional, how do you feel when people tell you to man up?

You know, growing up as a boy you are always told not to show your emotions, that it is a sign of weakness. I have been lucky enough to lead a life where I can celebrate how I really feel—but there is still negative attention towards it and it is still considered weakness.

Is there a point, then, where one does need to (for lack of a better word) man up?

You know I really don’t like that phrase. “man up”, because it implies that emotional strength in rough times is a masculine trait, when in reality some of the strongest people I know are women. But yes, there are a lot of times when you should control your emotions–  times of crisis and need where you really can’t let them get involved. I have learned to pull my emotions out of a lot of big decisions.

You often make it a point to spread the message of gender equality in your shows. Could you describe that a little bit?

It is something I have been lucky enough to be educated about. I generally try to pay attention to it, make sure I get my facts from the best sources and whatnot, and I really relate to it. I never really subscribed to the archetype masculinity growing up, I had no interest in sports or anything like that. There was a time where I was called a girl so often that when I discovered the idea of transgenderism I considered myself to be more of a girl. So I identify with trans people and women a lot because I was a girl to a lot of people growing up. When I was doing MCR I think I finally got to display my femininity through the glam theatrical aspects of the band. It made me feel more hopeful, that I was allowed to be flamboyant. I want to make sure women and men and everyone in between feel safe and empowered.

Was there a person or thing that first sparked your interest in feminism?

When I was around 16 I became friends with these really cool girls, and that’s how I got exposed to Bikini Kill, Helium, Bratmobile—that was the real punk. All the other hardcore scenes at the time were a little bit hypermasculine and violent, which was totally unappealing to me. But here are these bands—Bikini Kill, et cetera that were actually talking about important things. That was real punk. Great bands.

What sort of advice can you offer to all of us boyz reading?

You have to surround yourself with ‘the others’. Whether they’re the creatives that you know or whatever it is. Because you guys will feed each other, that’s the nature of people. Find companions who will push you in the field you are in.

Do you hang onto traces of boyishness? Comics and digging up worms?

Well first off I don’t consider those things boyish. I am really happy that things like comics have become less marketed specifically toward boys—did you know that 50 percent of comic book readers are girls now? There is a really great picture I saw one time of a little girl with all the spiderman toys in a toy store clearly angry that they were in the ‘boys’ section. We need to let kids have more freedom of choice in who they want to be.

But answering your question, I have always been super into comic books. I didn’t really ever like sports, so I played dungeons and dragons a lot. That was a really important creative outlet for me. Of course I still love Star wars, and biking.

How do you find ways to stay positive?

Society is so interconnected these days, there is so much noise. It is really important I think to turn the noise down, to find ways to do so. Whether you’re in a creative field or not, you need to find a way to follow what is in your gut because that noise that is so obstructive is   creeping. Think about the art you make, the people you love.

My routine is really simple but important to me. I wake up every morning and my wife and I get our daughter ready for school and I drive her there. And that’s when work begins for me. I am lucky that one day I can be recording a new song and the next I am putting all of my energy into a comic.

Do you consider your marriage to be a partnership?

I am very glad you asked. I consider my whole family dynamic a three way partnership actually. My wife and I have been partners since day one, and now our daughter is the newest addition to the mix. Of course we have different duties to each other—my wife and my job is to educate my daughter  and make her feel great and teach her how to work hard, to let her choose what she loves. That’s very important to us. It is great coming home from the road because Lindsay (my wife) and I get to work together more.

Thank you so much for doing this interview, is there anything we haven’t touched that you want to say?

Don’t chase your dreams, let your dreams chase you

[yzzaqczec]

Beneath the moons glow

Idea: @sametsyun

Once, there was Y/N, a divine being created by the gods to watch over the moon. She was an angel with a silvery glow, her presence a soft luminescence among the vastness of the cosmos. The moon was her kingdom—silent, serene, and lonely. She spent her days attending wishes of the mortals below them. Their hopes whispered up to her through the night, which sounded all the more silent with them, till she heard their promises of the soul.

Except that one who came often was making her heart beat with something which she could not identify.

Lucifer, that was his name and was a fallen angel driven from Heaven long ago. Every time he would come to her place, that always would carry the promise of more than words: the excitement of seeing what the visitor may bring - small things- a bunch of ducks, flowers in star shape, anything whimsical and sweet. Y/N in turn gave the man her wishes for trivial things, moments of glee, for laughter. Alone no longer was Y/N in the company of her visitor. The days turned to months, and the months grew into years. A quiet affection for each other blossomed.

Their bonding grew in the silent nights that were lit by the moon. Lucifer never asked for anything extravagant, and Y/N would always find herself wanting to provide him with whatever he desired. She had fallen in love with him, although she did not know what to call it. Love? She never dared to ask, but she knew he was of the same thought. He smiled every time he saw her his smile shines brighter than the stars in the sky. She would do anything for him, and so did he seem.

Then one day, Lucifer just stopped coming.

Initially, Y/N thought it was just nothing. "Why haven't you come by? I wait for you each night, when the stars shine bright and the moon protects us both. Was this something I did?" she silently asked the empty moon.

Days became weeks, then weeks turned into months, all without him. She still waited, lonely and clueless. She searched the heavens for him, but he was nowhere to be found. She could not help but wonder whether something had happened, whether she perhaps had done something wrong. "Had I failed him in some way? Did he no longer want me to grant his wishes?" Her heart felt heavy as the cycles of the moon increased, and she began to feel a deep sadness that no star could chase away. The only solace was the fact that one day, he would return, and everything would be okay.

One day, Lucifer showed up. His smile was as broad as ever, but something was different. It did not feel the same. The warmth that once seemed to emanate from his presence was now gone, replaced by an emptiness that cut deeper than she could have imagined.

"Y/N" he greeted, the name slipping from his lips like a familiar song, but with a hollow tone. He handed her a small, delicate gift wrapped in glistening paper, but there was no joy behind his eyes.

Y/N heart skipped, her hopes rising for a moment. "It’s been a long time," she said softly. "I’ve missed you."

Lucifer's eyes flickered briefly, then he quickly covered it with a chuckle. "I've been busy. But I've come to ask for a wish."

Her heart leapt, and she smiled. This was it, she thought. "Maybe this is the moment we return to what we had before. Maybe it'll be like it once was." But his words shattered that fragile hope.

He asked for something that felt wrong, something that was against the very rules she had been bound to since her creation. It was a wish that involved breaking celestial laws. She hesitated. "This. This is too much. I can't grant this, Lucifer." But his eyes, those eyes she had trusted for so long, looked at her with something she couldn't place.

"You think I forgot you? You think I stopped caring? No, Y/N. I couldn't forget you. But the moment I walked away from the moon, I knew I'd lost something I couldn't get back," he said, his voice laced with guilt.

She felt the weight of his words, but despite her doubt, she couldn't refuse him. Her heart—"I would do anything for him,"—knew no better. With trembling hands, she granted the wish, though it was wrong, something that she knew she should not do.

What she did not know was the price with which it came.

Lucifer's trial soon followed, and Y/N was left dazed. She had been summoned to the heavenly court, where the angels looked at her with judgment in their eyes. Lucifer stood at the center of the courtroom, his head lowered in shame. And beside him stood Lilith—the one who had been with him all along, the one he had truly wanted all this time.

Her heart cracked, shards of trust and affection shattering. "You think I wanted to leave you? You think I wanted to stop visiting the moon? No. but I had no choice. Sometimes the price of freedom is heavier than you think," Lucifer had said, but his betrayal stung just the same.

As the angels questioned her, "What had you done, Y/N? What wish did you grant him?" this truth struck her like thunder—she was the one that helped him bring Lilith back.

Lucifer, in a moment of panic, pointed his finger at her. "She did it. It was her who granted me the wish."

The words cut deeper than any betrayal she could have thought of. "So this was it. All that I had given to him, all the love I thought we shared. it was nothing."

Lucifer and Lilith were punished and sent down to Hell to stay there forever. However, Y/N was not shown any mercy; however, the punishment she received was a lighter one. They said she didn't know what the wish would do. Nevertheless, she was sent out of Heaven, a beautiful home lost to her for good. She remained there, on the moon, her heart a heavy aching weight in her chest.

"You were my haven. my escape from everything. I never thought that I would ever bring about such pain in you. I thought that I was capable of handling all of this, but it was just too much," Lucifer's words echoed in her head as she looked out to the vast emptiness that the moon surface seemed to offer.

There was her on the bleak, snow cold desert landscape alone, when before she a green bunny that he'd given her years earlier stirred to life, tears fallen into its little soft frame on whose green jade-eyes sparkle lit after these final tears until she saw not alone again. Small creature nuzzled by it and she found this instant comfort.

“I thought I was doing what was right for myself, for Lilith. But now I realize I’ve lost more than I could ever gain. You were everything I needed. and I let you go,” Lucifer's voice, tinged with regret, haunted her every moment.

Years passed, eons even. The moon, once dark and empty, started changing. Lights shimmered, festivals sprang up, and laughter filled the air. It had become a place for celebration, joy, and fun, but Y/N heart still ached with pain for the love she had lost.

Her search for Lucifer never ended. She tried everything: every spell, every ritual, every prayer. But nothing seemed to work. "If you're out there, Lucifer, do you ever wonder about me? Do you ever miss the moon? Or has the Hell beneath your feet become too heavy?" she whispered, looking to the heavens, but nothing came.

One day, she realized that despite everything, she had never truly stopped loving him. "You’ll always be a part of me, Lucifer. Whether you forgive me or not, you’ll always have a place in my heart. I just wish I could show you that before it was too late."

And so, with lights and laughter still burning all around, Y/N made a promise to find him again. No matter the time it took or how long the distance was; she would find her way back to him.

And perhaps, just maybe, the stars will finally align.

---

Will post the pt2 next week:>

OKAY TOTALLY RUSHED THIS

I did not proofread this so mb if there are some mistakes, I totally added chang'e instead of y/n in some of these😭

Idea from!! @sametsyun

https://www.tumblr.com/sametsyun/742930833875353600/i-have-a-fanfic-idea-alright-you-guys-know-that?source=share

TYSM I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO THINK OF AN IDEA(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

[kkoffin]

“Bigotry is intersectional. There aren’t a lot of single-issue bigots, people who hate Mexicans but fight for everyone else’s rights. People generally don’t apply this hierarchical thinking to just 1 aspect of their lives, so commonly racism is comorbid with antisemitism is comorbid with misogyny is comorbid with transphobia is comorbid with homophobia is comorbid with religious intolerance, I mean just listen to a Klansman talk about Catholics sometime, or, better yet, don’t. Any marginalized group may be inducted into the tribe to consolidate against a common enemy. But, should that enemy be defeated the inductees become the new enemy. We can see the history of social progress in the US as successively disenfranchised groups demanding and sometimes gaining their rights one by one with reactionaries trying to beat back the tide. Transphobia is recently in rampant in fascist circles, and conservative politics, because with the legalization of same sex marriage the battle against homosexuality is thought to be lost or, at least, at a ceasefire. This gives some cause to welcome gay transphobes into the ranks, but should they seize enough power to strip what few protections trans people have gained recently and the alliance is no longer useful, their gaze refocuses and it’s last hired 1st fired for the homosexuals. And then the African Americans and then the women and on and on, stripping rights from social groups in the order opposite to which they were gained, like the plot of Final Destination 2.”

I’d like to begin by saying; believing women have a right to single-sex spaces is not bigotry. Not believing in a religion which insists in a male and female soul is not bigotry. Believing in sex is not bigotry. Preventing the harms of medically transitioning children, mutilating their genitals, and being caution of giving them known harmful chemicals is not bigotry.

You are absolutely right about bigotry being intersectional. Conservatives, fascists, etc hate women, femininity, gender-nonconformity and homosexuality. Their hatred of trans people is based on this. “Transphobia”, as far as I’ve ever seen, does not exist alone. “Transphobia” is the intersection of a hatred of women, homosexuality and gnc people.

Absolute majority of trans deaths are due to them presenting as women and being killed like any woman walking alone at night would be killed, or the male killer has sex with a trans identified male (often a prostutite), realises he’s having sex with a male, and out of a fear of homosexuality and being called gay, he kills the trans person, so his “secret” won’t get out.

I’ve never in my life seen someone who is fine with homosexuality, fine with women’s rights, fine with gender nonconformity, and fine with femininity etc, but irrationally hates trans people. If you think I irrationally hate trans people, then in theory, this would be me, however i do not believe that insistence on putting women’s safety before the feelings of male people is an “irrational hatred” of said male people.

It’s not that “after trans people, they’ll go after women and homosexuals” it’s that they only hate trans people because they hate women and homosexuals, alongside gender nonconformity. I work to protect these three groups primarily. Both the right-wing and gender ideology hurts all three, in different different but same ways.

Conservatives believe a person of the female sex must be feminine, gender ideology believes a person who is feminine must be female. both reduce “women” to femininity. right wing wants to erase homosexuality via traditional conversion therapy, gender ideology tries to remove homosexuality via gender reassignment and shaming homosexuals for not being attracted to people of the opposite sex, heterosexual people taking over our spaces etc. Right wing hates gender nonconformity because it goes against their norms and standards, gender ideology sees gender nonconforming people and tells them they need hundreds of thousands of dollars of surgery and life-long hormones.

I seek to abolish gender, both gender ideology and the right-wing seek to reinforce it, only in slightly different ways.

I am against gender ideology because I want to protect women, gnc kids and adults and homosexuals. Conservatives hate trans people because they hate women, gnc kids and adults and homosexuals. My movement is not their movement, as it’s fundamentally almost opposite. Although we may share “battles” occasionally, their “winning the war” is not my win. It’s my loss as much as anyone’s. This is why radfems are not right-wing. we do not share ideas with right-wing, we do not share ideology with right-wing. we are fundamentally opposed.

[grievingbovine]

Locked tomb hot takes:

Insisting that the birth of Paul is only a tragedy because of the uneven power dynamics between Palamedes and Camilla as Necro and Cav invalidates Camillas autonomy and undermines her as a character capable of making her own decisions. It also undermines Palamedes constantly checking for consent. He understands more than most that there is an uneven power dynamic and actively works to respect her autonomy as much as he can while also respecting their bond/positions as necro and cav.

In a world where those who identify as men have no natural power over those who identify as women or neither, we can not apply the same cisheteronormative expectations of male behavior to male characters.

Camilla made every. Single. Choice. Willingly. She had reasons for it, and Palamedes respected that more than readers seem to. We get plenty of examples.

"What would you do if you discovered Camilla was a murderer?”

“Help her bury the body,” said Palamedes promptly.

“Sextus.”

“I mean it. If Camilla wants someone dead,” he said, “then far be it from me to stand in her way. All I can do at that point is watch the bloodshed and look for a mop. One flesh, one end, and all that.”

GtN chapter 30

NtN chapter 17

The relationship between these two may be codependent, but it's predicated on trust and consent. The whole way through. This is the life Cam wants to live. Becoming Paul was what *she wanted*.

I find it strange that some people think they know what's best for her more than she does, just because she's a cavalier.

[tavolgisvist]

The songs which John in All We Are Saying by David Sheff names 'a bit of a joke', 'a piece of nothing', 'a piece of garbage' and another lovely words

Q: “The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill.” A: Oh, that was written about a guy in Maharishi’s meditation camp who took a short break to go shoot a few poor tigers, and then came back to commune with God. There used to be a character called Jungle Jim and I combined him with Buffalo Bill. It’s a sort of teenage social-comment song and a bit of a joke. Yoko’s on that one, I believe, singing along.

Q: And “Cry Baby Cry”? A: Not me. A piece of rubbish.

Maybe he means the tail of Cry Baby Cry? Then 'not John' and 'a piece of rubbish' is this: Can you take me back where I came from? Can you take me back?

Q: But what about “Here’s another clue for you all, the walrus is Paul” from “Glass Onion”? A: Well, that was a joke. The line was put in partly because I was feeling guilty because I was with Yoko and I was leaving Paul. I was trying—I don’t know. It’s a very perverse way of saying to Paul, you know, “Here, have this crumb, this illusion, this—this stroke, because I’m leaving.”

I told you about the walrus and me, man You know that we're as close as can be, man Well, here's another clue for you all The walrus was Paul

Q: “I Know (I Know)”? A: Just a piece of nothing.

And I know just how you feel And I know now what I have done And I know, and I'm guilty, yes I am But I never could read your mind <…> Today, I love you more than yesterday Right now, I love you more right now

Q: “Dig a Pony”? A: Another piece of garbage.

Well, you can imitate everyone you know Yes, you can imitate everyone you know I told you so

All I want is you Everything has got to be just like you want it to Because

Q: Let’s start with ���(Just Like) Starting Over.” A: Appropriate enough. [Hums the song.] Á la Bing Crosby … Well, “Starting Over” and “Cleanup Time” were sorta written on the run after I’d finished all the other work of writing the other ones. They just sort of came. They were like the fun after the work is finished. I was still in Bermuda. Q: You were in a sort of Fifties mood? A: Yeah. I’d done that music and identified with it—that was my period—but I’d never written a song that sounded like that period. So I just thought, Why the hell not? In the Beatles days that would have been taken as a joke. One avoided clichés. ’Course now clichés are not clichés anymore. Q: “Spread your wings and fly…” No pun? A [laughing]: No. But you know I nearly took the word “wings” out because I thought, Oh, God! They’ll all be saying, “What’s this about Wings?” It has nothin’ to do with Wings.

Q: “I’ll Get You”? A: That was Paul and me trying to write a song and it didn’t work out.

(Yeah, and it - that the song 'didn’t work out' - is the reason why Paul sings during Get Back sessions:

Imagine I'm in love with you It's easy 'cause I know

and make a joke with 'rhyming slang': I think I’m getting Hong Kong flu.

and when someone (Lindsey-Hogg?) asks, 'Are you really?' Paul just says 'No, not really. Not really.' (Okay, 'bunny' - or 'Barney', that makes more sense, thanks, @i-am-the-oyster <3)

[bunnybird-afk]

Fun Little Merlin Language Headcanons

Ok, so we know most of our Merlins are old af, and that most of them have the patience of saints so they usually don't get genuinely pissed off. But could you imagine how funny it would be if they started cussing in 'old' languages when they do snap? Except the languages they use are just normal languages irl.

Like I can so picture Sena seething at someone in Hindi but still keeping composed, only to snap and absolutely drag them in Tamil (like it is a good thing no one understands him otherwise they would not be able to look him in the eye afterwards). Or if he wants to pull the Divine Judgment card in more serious/formal moments he starts calmly lecturing them in Sanskrit putting every ounce of his godly authority behind each word (I think in that moment everyone would understand exactly what he's saying despite not being able to identify individual words).

Meanwhile Celestino (@meepinmeat) just takes a deep breath before slowly but purposefully reading someone to filth in old Latin. People might not understand the words, but they definitely get the gist when they can feel static crackling through the air due to the Archon's rage. ("Well, mark me down as scared and horny"- Valen, probably.)

And imagine everyone's surprise when soft-spoken little Pirin (@yohohonabottle) goes from irritable bat chattering to absolutely intense Slavic cussing, looking absolutely ready to curse someone's entire bloodline as he yells at them in Bulgarian. (Considering how terrifying Pirin's curses actually are, I cannot blame Val, Sinbad and Soren for being terrified of their little bat in that moment.)

As for Magister Starhawk (@fujimomozane), this man looks like he slays so hard. So I can't help but picture him being calm and collected before muttering the most horrendously accurate and specific insults possible under his breath in Ukrainian. (Though Chippy and Hammie were not expecting the magister to very vehemently tell a table to have a stroke after he stubbed his toe.) (Ps, please correct me on this one if I'm wrong. I've heard a friend explain it once irl and I thought it was really funny and in character for Starhawk.)

Meanwhile Korin and Damian are hiding behind Molpe (@mcnana) as she cusses someone out in Spanish for insulting her boys. Like they appreciate the gesture, but they are also absolutely shook considering that she's normally very sweet and soft-spoken. (Imagining Korin covering Damian's ears for this one. Like he doesn't know what's being said, but from Molpe's tone he knows a child probably shouldn't be hearing it.)

Please reblog this with your own Merlins! I'd love to hear your takes. (Especially @magister-violyste and @msbiaxalblanc, since Violyste is fairly young by Merlin standards, and Bellarose is fairly aloof and put-together. Also, Magister Zelda (@fgfirenation) clearly has no problem cussing, but I'd love to hear your take on her going completely feral on someone.)

[tangents-within-tangents]

Hi, demiro ace here to learn more about apl! If I may?

I'm kinda thinking it might be best for everyone if we don't consider apl apart of the aspec community (which is historically/currently defined as both the aro and ace spectrums only). If the umbrella gets too big it's not really helpful anymore. I definitely get how they are related with similar concepts of not experiencing a certain type of attraction, but they are also complete opposites, no? And while there are those who identify as both aro/ace and apl, these spectrums don't actually overlap like the aro and ace ones do (which is why it is helpful to talk about them together under the aspec). Like that overlap is more akin to someone who also identifies as bi or trans and apl, it's an additional identity that doesn't really have anything to do with the other, a venn diagram not a connected spectrum.

Trans identities are about gender, lesbian/gay/bi/pan/etc are about who you experience sexual/romantic attraction to, and aro/ace are about how you (do or don't) experience that attraction. But aplatonic is about friendship, about how you relate to people outside of relationships. It's not a romantic or sexual spectrum so it has as much to do with aro/ace as it does with Lgbt-etc and vice versa, right? I just feel like it would be better to view aplatonic as a separate valid thing.

Like if it sucks and feels unwelcoming to you, maybe sometimes that just means it's not the right place for you, not that the place needs to change. And I'm not saying apl-phobia is okay and we shouldn't strive to be better (esp with acknowledging the overlap), but if you are mad at the 'values platonic relationships more than romantic and/or sexual ones' community for doing just that, that's kinda aro/ace-phobic.

yea sure to YOU sexual/romantic relationships don't mean anything/are devalued/etc, but not to all of us!!

Yeah we know, it's like that with all allos in the Lgbtq+ community! What do you want asexual/aromantic people to do about that? I could say the exact same thing, "sure to YOU platonic relationships don't mean anything/are devalued, but not to all of us." We shouldn't have to make caveats in all our posts for people who are allo-romantic/sexual when that's not what we're here to talk about no more than you should have to for people who are allo-platonic. It's just counterproductive.

That's kinda like a lesbian complaining about how all gays ever talk about is how hot guys are. Where those communities do relate is in experiencing same-sex attraction (the same way ours relate in experiencing a lack of a certain attraction) and even though they may technically overlap with people who are bi/pan (like we may with people who are on both spectrums) they are still quite different and therefore considered separate groups while still being included together under the wider umbrella of queer/Lgbtqia+

I think it's clear we would benefit from a similar distinction, and I'm curious to hear what others think about this. Like maybe 'anattractional' spectrum instead can be about anything with an a- prefix referring to a lack of an attraction (the same way Lgbp can be lumped together under homosexual or SSA), while 'aspec' can still refer to just the aro/ace spectrum.

(Also, I get the frustrations with relationship hierarchies, but I just want to clarify: when alloplatonic aro/ace's say we value platonic relationships more, we mean for us. We're saying that sexual/romantic relationships are less valuable to us (esp bc that is not reflected in an amatonormative society) not that they can't/shouldn't be valuable to anyone who is allo. When we speak out against amatonormativity, it's that we want platonic relationships to be seen on the same level of value as romantic relationships in society as a whole (the same way that feminism is about equality for women, not bringing them above men). Amatonormativity and platonormativity are mutually exclusive, getting rid of one doesn't mean replacing it with the other (especially since both currently exist). The normativity is the problem, we aren't speaking against the people who happen to conform with it but those who want to enforce it. It's about the mindsets and how they are exclusionary for those who don't conform.)

being apl in aspec communties sucks sm. everything is all about how important platonic relationships are and "dismantling relationship heirarchies", while just building new ones. it feels super unwelcoming.

like yea sure to YOU sexual/romantic relationships don't mean anything/are devalued/etc, but not to all of us!! some of us LIKE those things, and MORE than platonic relationships. its like we rnt even aspec at all 2 these people, like sorry some of us go against the grain of society while still having certain ""non queer"" parts to our identity. i feel like we are seen as not aspec/lgbt enough to participate in those communities. so much about the aspec communtity is about how untalked about we are and how we are never included or thought about in discussions, but aro and ace communtities do the same to us!!!

.

[lawofangie]

hey, i need your advice. i know that we're supposed to affirm 'to remind' ourselves that we already have our desire and not affirm 'to get' which is thinking that doing the method will make the desire manifest. but, now every time after i affirm i can't stop questioning if i'm reminding myself or doing it to get, and it's been really stressful and idk how to resolve this.

then just try another method? lol, if something is clearly not beneficial to you, then don't do it. if i had to choose between stressing myself out and not stressing myself out, i would choose to not stress myself out.

there's nothing to "resolve". you make it sound like you need to affirm. affirming isn't mandatory in order to manifest, some people just aren't smart enough to understand the law and spread misinformation. the law of assumption wouldn't be called the law of assumption if it was about affirmations. the end goal is always to get yourself to assume you have it.

this is why you're told not to affirm to get, because you're supposed to assume you already have it. you affirm to help remind yourself for that same reason, you have to accept whatever it is as a present tense fact in order to have it.

still, affirmations are nothing but a method to help you have an easier time accepting whatever it is as a present tense fact. but so is visualizating, scripting, SATS, inner conversations, and i guess the void state stuff too (even though i really hate that method, it is still just a method).

when doing anything, a method is supposed to be whatever makes accomplishing that thing easiest for you. if that's not what you're currently doing, then why keep doing it?

i'll give you a non-loa example of this: let's say you were trying to make a traditional dish from any culture of your choice. if you found a certain recipe, you followed the instructions, and it turned out bad, would you try that same thing again until it came out well.. or would you just accept that this one isn't the best and try following a new recipe? i feel like it should be this simple, common sense should tell you to try something else.

and besides, you shouldn't waste your time going back and forth in your mind, otherwise there's no point in choosing to manifest anything. in the end, all that will ever matter is if you decide that you have it, or you don't have it. that's why everyone says "you either have it or you don't"... because you either have it or you don't.

all that will ever matter is your current assumptions. whatever you assume in this present moment is all that matters. the present is all that exists, as the past and future are something you access mentally.

with that in mind, if you say you're struggling to manifest, you don't have it right now. if you say you're making progress, you don't have it right now. if you say you're doing anything other than having it, you don't have it right now. this is how simple the law is. you have to decide you have it in order to have it. no amount of affirmations will change that singular rule.

but back to your question, this doesn't really matter as long as you don't identify with it. however, i think you should always be aware of your own intentions, i think you also know the answer if you have to question yourself like that. you are most likely affirming to get, because that kind of is the end goal, a lot of you just go about it the wrong way without understanding the key concepts of the law.

there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to get something, but understanding that you have to already claim it as yours in order to have it is important. it deviates from everything you've been taught your entire life (ex: needing to work hard in order to achieve your goals, needing to put in effort, good things coming to those who wait, any concept similar to this in general).

this is why so many of you get stuck in that mindset of needing to say 192733919222626992 affirmations in order to get what you want. because a lot of a&p individuals prioritize affirming so much to the point where you forget the key concepts of the law or don't care to learn. you take all the non-loa rules you've been taught and try to apply them to something you don't fully understand, then wonder why it doesn't work.

so, to summarize:

try to find what method works for you. maybe even not using a method at all and just deciding would be more beneficial to you. this is something you need to figure out on your own.

figure out your intentions. but if you need to question yourself, you most likely are affirming to get. you need to understand the law of assumption and how to properly utilize it, or you won't get anywhere.

the only thing that will ever matter is your assumptions, hence the name "law of assumption". whatever you assume to be true will be true. any method you use is just a means to help you comfortably assume something. a method is simply a way of doing something in order to help you achieve something. no method has ever had more significance than the goal you are trying to achieve.

doubts only matter if you identify with them, just like any other thought you have. if you apply meaning to them, they will have a meaning.

don't bother trying to apply logic or rules to manifesting, it doesn't work. you are just wasting your time.

don't do things you aren't comfortable with? this should honestly go without saying.

that's it, if you have anymore questions, don't hesitate to ask. hope this helps.

[crypticvirago]

Architect Society thoughts

(This is gonna be a pretty thick info dump so I'll put it below a break so I'm not clogging up anyone's feed).

All this mostly started with my attempt at trying to figure out some odd aspects of how Architects are represented in the game, and it spiraled into me imagining hypotheticals and putting way too much thought into things that don't need it/will probably never be explained.

I know that Architect society is presented as this whole, cohesive unit in the game, but I've always wondered if it's more than that. And while we have no idea how Architect society is divided up, or if it even is, we do know that Al-An is in a position of high importance. He states as much, and considering he was given the very important task of finding a cure for the bacterium outbreak, it's likely he was pretty high up.

Which makes me start thinking about how status is represented in Architect society. If it's something physically represented (like how royalty wears crowns, or military wears uniforms) or if it's something built into the 'code' that uniquely identifies each individual 'component' or Architect in the Network

I think both, and like to imagine they use their horns as symbols of status and add adornments to them - it's almost archaic tradition but since metals like gold, silver and platinum are rare in space because of their density, having more of them symbolized importance and longevity of "usefulness", i.e., how long you've been alive and contributing to the Network

(Idk I just want to see Al-An wearing platinum jewelry with pearls or amber, because cosmically they're far rarer than emeralds or diamonds, reflecting his incredibly important status.)

Which brings me to some things never explained in game. There are statues that get made of Architects you can find in the Koppa mining site, as well as a whole ass garden that gets made as a "place to reflect". Why? What purpose does it serve, unless Architect's value art in some way? I keep thinking about that one Architect that died there. Why did they go there, and choose to die there, if they didn't find comfort in the place?

People, myself included, characterize Architect's as being solely invested in scientific study alone, but they have to value art somehow. Otherwise, why would those statues be made on 4546b? Why would all of those objects, some with purely subjective value, be displayed in the primary containment facility and the quarantine enforcement platform? Maybe not valuing it to the extent of study, but still regarding it as serving some sort of purpose.

And now, what if there's an almost outlier section of society that, rather than studying the sciences, are more interested in studying the humanities? Valuing philosophy, art and even their language, placing it in high regard? What if the number that study those has been dwindling for hundreds of years, largely looked down upon by the majority of Architect society for their study into what might not be considered important to progress? Sort of like nowadays - where people consider getting a degree in the arts secondary to a degree in the sciences. But they value that study regardless, and have their own complex of buildings atop a mountain like we see at the end of the game, in some separate location.

And even further - what if there were even Architects that found themselves discontent with being in the Network and left? Regarded with disappointment and shamed by the society they left behind, deemed crazy and defective, but finding individualism more valuable. Forming a sect somewhere either among the mountains, or below the cloud layer, away from 99% of all other Architects.

What if they alone survived the outbreak? Not deliberately, but just because the infection never had the opportunity to spread to them. They might not even know what happened to the rest, to those that remained in Network. They were told to never come back to the mountain peaks, so they never did. Never cared to. They just know that at one point the progress stopped, and the ships stopped flying overhead.

What if, when Al-An comes home, Architects he once deemed lesser, flawed and defective, are all that's left of the people he loves? Robin not understanding the differences, and is relieved and happy that there are some of his people left. But Al-An's just conflicted because they aren't his people. Not really. It'll leave Al-An with his race still technically alive, but his people are well and truly gone. There's no place for him among them, unless he can accept that sole individualism as his new reality. Having to come to terms with the fact that the society he was searching to restore can never come back to be, but the Architect's are not truly gone.

I'll likely have many more thoughts to add, but I found myself caught up thinking about the evolution of the Architect's as a species - from their birth of sentience to the cybernetically enhanced, interstellar traveling people we know in the game. About the scraped beta dialogue between Robin and Al-An about how they had to work hard to survive the threats of evolutionary and technological advancement, and all that meant for them and their society.

I could probably go on forever about what those evolutionary hurdles must have looked like and the sacrifices needed to be made to continue on, since that's just my cup of overthinking biologist tea. But I think I'll leave it here, for now.

[perfectwitchcrown]

Dante and Betrayal in Make the Exorcist Fall in Love

Ok so now that chapter 79 has come out I really want to discuss something I think is kind of interesting as a through line between Dante's Inferno and Dante in Make The Exorcist Fall in Love. This is mostly just word vomit haha. Also, asterisks indicate footnotes that I've left towards the bottom of the post!

Cw: discussion of sexual violence, victim blaming, and homophobia. Also, image of cartoon gore (when priest pulled out his eye in the first chapter) after the read more

In the Divine Comedy, the closer Dante the pilgrim moves to the center of hell, the more intense Dante the poet is casting the sins being punished there are. So, Dante starts in Limbo, which he presents as containing the least serious of sins, then continues on through a variety of different sins. The ninth and final circle of hell, containing what Dante the poet felt was the most serious of sins, is treachery. In the notes to their translation of the Inferno, Robert Hollander and Jean Hollander write that "The three most gravely punished sinners of the poem are Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus (founder of the Church), as well as Brutus and Cassius, who betrayed Julius Caesar (the first ruler of the empire" (639).

Dante Alighieri presents betrayal then as the worst sin possible, which I think has been carried through into Ekuoto Dante's perception of whatever happened with Vergilius in the past.

Specifically, I’m thinking of their conversation in chapter 20. Verge identifies Dante’s powers as relating to Lot’s wife turning to a pillar of salt when fleeing Sodom.

I think Dante’s response is pretty interesting for several reasons. For one, based on the paneling and what we see, he’s identifying Sodom with the church, not with Verge. Verge, as someone who fled then is Lot, and Dante positions himself as Lot’s wife, which is both fascinating in the way he’s presenting their relationship and that it implies that he views his decision to stay with the church as a decision of weakness, just as Lot’s wife turning to look back at Sodom is considered spiritual weakness.

It was his betrayal of Verge then that he considers his sin.

Frankly though I wonder if there’s an element of miscommunication between the two of them as well in regard to this.

This is the part where I get super speculative, because we still don’t know what happened in the panel depicted (although I wonder if we’ll be finding out soon). But, just based on the few things we’ve seen, there’s a couple things I’d like to propose.

I don’t think Dante and Vergilius in have ever explicitly told each other that they love each other. I could be totally wrong about this, but based on Dante’s reactions in this chapter, both to the homophobia he experienced and not wanting to talk about it with Verge, and his shyness around romantically charged physical contact with him (it’s Verge who holds his hand, Dante doesn’t hold it back), and just based on the fact that they were kids, I think whatever splintering in their relationship occurred it was before either of them had actually been able to verbally express what they meant to each other. They reaaaaally read to me as having still been in that first gay crush where you’re sort of together but also not really acknowledging it stage of their relationship.*

I wonder if Verge may have been victim blamed in some regard for what happened with that priest we see. I could see Arima Aruma making commentary on the way victims of sexual exploitation can be blamed if they’re “imperfect” victims. Personally, I don’t trust Abbott Nicholas like even a little bit in how he handles situations, and just based on the expression Dante has as a kid looking back at him, I wonder if he may have said something pretty fucked. Or, at the very least, not helpful at all towards Verge, and tinged in some way, by homophobia. Like, ultimately, at his age Verge was not capable of consenting whatsoever to what was happening. I wonder if because Verge was accepting money in return, Abbott Nicholas may have blamed him partially for what happened**

All of these proposals in consideration, then, I think potentially color Verge’s comment when he says “how cruel” in chapter 20. I wonder if Dante’s betrayal may have also been a deeper betrayal of their relationship -> not just that he didn’t go with him, but that he may have not acknowledged the relationship they had. In other words, if Abbott Nicholas may have victim blamed Verge in a way that also centered his queerness and Dante froze.

Returning to the conversation in chapter 20 then, if, from Verge’s perspective, Dante’s powers reference sexual intercourse between men, and Dante may have never fully communicated how he felt for Verge, that how cruel may have been because he was taking it as further shaming him for his own assault -> if the sin is having had sex with a man, and if Verge may have been blamed for his rape, then Dante’s powers may come across as further victim blaming towards Verge, that because Verge was sexually abused by a man as a form of survival sex work (not that he could have ever consented to that at his age), Verge has “committed sin,” whereas Dante has not (presuming that Dante has never had sex with a man, which like, idk but idk if Verge knows either).

Dante’s response, “that’s not my sin” then, wouldn’t actually refute that to Verge. It would just tie into that. “No, I’ve never had sex with a man, that’s not my sin” -> which also would function as a further rejection of the feelings they held for each other.

On the other hand, I don’t think that’s how Dante meant it. I think Dante’s perspective on it not having been his sin, especially with how he follows it up, and with what he said towards the beginning of the series about love, is that he doesn’t view his feelings towards Verge as sin at all. Rather, it was his failure to take his side that he views as his sin. His response he may have meant both as a “what I felt for you wasn’t sin” and a “what happened to you wasn’t your fault.” The panel frames the church as Sodom, so the sin of what occurred to Verge is not homosexuality, but rape, and Dante clearly places the blame with the priest.

And to tie into this, I think it’s significant that it’s not Dante’s personal money he uses to pay women at brothels to offer them the financial means to leave sex work should they choose, it’s church funds.***

TL;DR

To sum all this up, I think Dante and Verge may both have skewed understandings of what went wrong in their relationship and how they felt towards each other, but I think the idea that Dante betrayed Verge is central to it. I’m not sure that Vergilius thinks that Dante betrayed him though. I think this is Dante’s perspective of whatever happened that we still don’t know about. I am interested in seeing if we get any further information about their past in the next chapter or if we won’t be seeing anymore for a while.

Footnotes

*I think further in support of this is Verge’s reaction at the bowling alley when Priest falsely confirms that Dante is having sex with women in brothels. He teases Dante in their fight in chapters 20-21 for being worked up over him, but honestly, I don’t think he has confidence that his feelings for him in childhood were reciprocated in the same way.

**In support of this I think we should consider Dante’s reaction following Priest’s assault in the first chapter. Priest blames himself for his assault—“I looked upon a woman with lust. I am deserving of this punishment”—and Dante immediately thinks of Abbott Nicholas, and then immediately tries to impress upon Priest that consensual sexual desire isn’t wrong.

***Dante seems to consider his position within the church as one that enables him to decrease exploitation the most. Daniel, in one of the files, refers to the policy (that he instituted) post Mother Rosa death of banning the weak from serving as exorcists, as having resulted in the exploitation of children, who now make up the bulk of the exorcists. If Dante leaves the church at this point, he would be doing so as one of the remaining adult exorcists, leaving the work to the rest of the children

Random Extra Thoughts:

I’ve seen speculation that shit may have gone down between the two of them in-between the four year timeskip after the first chapter since Dante has become noticeably more pessimistic. Personally, based on Verge knowing about Dante going to brothels, and based on Dante knowing to look for Verge by speaking to sex workers at brothels, I wonder if they may have seen each other at a brothel. Vergilius would’ve been a witch by this point. I’ve had to go through parts of the manga again, but he’s been a witch for at least ten years at this point. Which is an interesting timeline, since Dante and Mother Rosa were both present 11 years ago at the fight against Beelzebub. Much to consider

Also, Dante and Verge keep referencing each other’s respective ages (that Dante has been aging and Verge is still young) and tying it not just to appearance but also behavior. With the potential miscommunication in regards to their feelings with each other, I sort of also wonder if Verge associates their relationship with their youth as well, and may assume that the romantic element to their love for each other is something Dante considers himself to have grown out of.

Tying into the above, I think it’s significant that we the audience haven’t yet seen an ordinary adult who is openly gay. Verge and the other witches who are queer (Erskine and Cyril based on their presence sharing a broom naked in the background of the witch’s sabbath, other various witches who’ve been similarly paired off) have all frozen themselves in time. Dante is gay, but based on his behavior at the brothels, not out. Also, and this could just be early series wonkiness, but when Abbott Nicholas tells Dante in the first chapter not to introduce Priest to a variety of vices, womanizing comes up as one of them. So, like, whatever happened in the past, I don’t think Dante has ever acknowledged himself as gay to Abbott Nicholas or the larger community.

[fairymischief]

I didn't say you said that, all I did was quote you. Are you misunderstanding your own phrasing?

Men will always be men whether they're part of your culture or mine (in the USA.) If they can peacefully coexist there, that's great. I'm glad to hear it because I don't want men causing trouble anywhere. But what I'm telling you is that:

1. Men are men no matter how they identify

2. Trans-identified men are infringing on the rights of real women throughout my country and in many others where we've allowed them to access single-sex spaces based on GENDER identity. They're not coexisting peacefully, they are preying on us and attempting to erase women as a sex class.

You said, "Of course I know it's because of men." You clearly understand deep down that men are the issue here. Women have bent over backward to accommodate them (as we have done throughout time) and protect their feelings, and we've had nearly all rights to privacy and safety removed because of it.

If you want to talk about peaceful coexistence, don't talk to women. We've done our part. There is one group who are the aggressors and one group who are the victims, and you're choosing to go to the VICTIMS and plea for tolerance. It's ridiculous and it just shows how deep the conditioning to prioritize male feelings (even over the safety of women) goes.

Talk to the men who are preying on us. They're the problem here, not us.

I suggest everyone takes a look at her tik tok

I love the way she does not bullshit or cut corners when it comes to talking about issues in the trans community

What do y’all think?

[enixamyram]

While acknowledging there are different versions and interpetations, I tend to follow the ones I read from the books written by Stephen Fry.

Not only was his the first consistent version I read so pretty naturally the first one I kind of latched onto... But I can't help but feel a lot of the current ideas people put out there for these characters and their stories stem from more Hollywood Stereotypes than original text.

Like Aphrodite's marriage. The version I read is that Ares and Aphrodite were very much in love but Aphrodite was forced to marry Hephaestus in return for him freeing Hera from his own revenge trap. Yet I see a lot of people acting like Hephaestus is the poor victim, Ares is the jerk and Aphrodite is the prize. And it all matches a little too well with the tropes: Hephaestus is the "nice guy outcast", Ares is the "dumb bully jock", and Aphrodite is the "beautiful woman who will eventually realise it's the nice guy she really loves".

Same for the Demeter storyline. A lot of people put a Hollywood romance trope on it by making Persephone and Hades in love from the start and Demeter's just the mother-in-law from hell cliche. Which isn't bad from a light-hearted-retelling perspective but (like Hephaestus) it seems to be the one that a lot of people are clinging to. To the point where they believe the American tropes and cliches are more fact than they actually are.

[trans-axolotl]

my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.

before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.

but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.

as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.

pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.

it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)

the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.

this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.

so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.

an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.

another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.

there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.

i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.