#not just that it was evocative of that in some abstract way

[screechfoxes]

2, 6, and 20 for the book asks!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu (probably)

Uglies by Scott Westerfeld

The Devil's Mixtape by Mary Borsellino <3

Millennium Approaches by Tony Kushner (technically)

A Madness of Angels and The Midnight Mayor by Kate Griffin <3

My Name is Mina and Skellig by David Almond

what a mix!

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

I mean, beyond the general TBR? I don't know if there's anything in particular. I've been planning to read Lolita, but that one I think I'll need to be in a specific head-space for.

20. What was your most anticipated release? Did it meet your expectations?

I didn't read anything which was published this year!

as a compensation, I can say I got around to reading Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White (2022), which I'd preordered due to being so excited for the concept that it overruled my natural instincts against purchasing YA these days--

only for me to read it and go 'yeah, I'd have liked that better if it wasn't YA'. thrilled it exists, but just didn't execute its concepts in ways I enjoyed, and also I got reminded of online trans discourse while reading it, which is not what I go to my fiction before

[thefaiao]

What are your inspirations for drawing? Like other artists or things

I'll start with my biggest inspiration, which got me into art as a whole: Adam Adamowicz. I got introduced to him through Skyrim concept art, but I honestly think his Shivering Isles concepts are some of the best concept art out there. You can see how much he just takes an idea and completely sores with it. A torrential stream of beautiful sketchy goodness.

I love Oblivion's flat ass dough faces and early Xbox 360 charm, but this shit is simply crazy. Look at this, it makes you wish to dedicate your life to bringing this to life, as all good concept art should. It inspires more of itself.

I could post all the images there are out there, because I sincerely think this is the type of work that has stuck with me the most. It's something to strive for. You can see it for yourself instead. That was what got me started. After that, and through my journey on Tumblr and Twitter, I think what stuck to me the most was the art done by small artists, my "compatriots". The things you don't see. There is so much love in little things, and maybe in another universe there are entire cultures dedicated to them. I wish we had time to explore each and every one of the smallest pieces of media, especially narrative media, weird media.

I'll concede that it's a bit of an abstract thing to be inspired by, but once you realise how much work goes into the smallest of things, I believe you'll find inspiration anywhere you go. I think the reason why my Batter drawings are the way they are is my inspiration from just the design of letters and fonts in general. I think making something that blurs the line of symbol and representation over and over is fun.

One artist that has stuck with me is the late great Gunner Leatherwood. He passed away earlier this year. I watched this guy grow from a hundred followers to thousands. I saw his art improve. I think that inspiration transcends just the visual aspect of the art. It's a story, a lived experience, as all art is, but I felt I understood it much more. I think going after and following these small artists pay off because of this. Everyone can make something truly great, and some people have and no one noticed. Many amazing animated movies have been made, but never got to the people who would understand them, who'd have dedicated themselves to easing other people into it. We like to think we understand media in a completely intuitive, isolated fashion, but it's not true at all. Our shared experience contributes to classics being recognised and loved. Sometimes you need the right person at the right time to understand. Gunner was a great artist because of how intuitive and visceral his drawings were. It was like he was drawing from his entire life experience to express himself in a page. At first he had little control of it, but with time it was molded and polished so that the madness was discernable, but not gone from the drawing. His mindset for drawing was fun, and he too was always going after small artists of all kinds.

But going back to Batter drawings and abstraction, an artist that has also inspired me over the years in that aspect of bluring symbol and representation into one solid thing, and similarly started somewhat small like Gunner, is Matt Lesniewski. His hatching is out of this world, and his character design is evocative and never boring. The characters are huge balls of symbols made into physical objects. Recently he straight-up draws the belts of characters floating. It's wonderful.

Another artist that does this bluring very well, and is very inspiring, is nailgun waowao. They really, well, nail the appeal of making images that have all the defining elements of a certain scene or character, but open closer look they are fragmented and completely abstracted. It's like a bigger image overlayed with many smaller stories and symbols.

But to go back to talking about active inspirations that came before, and got to me to where I am at the moment, it's a bit harder. I can't really make it sound smart besides going "uuh I don't know like abstract stuff, cubism idk lol." Just try to appreciate the great things your friends make, and try and work together to make something even greater.

Some of the most improvement I had in art was from learning with friends. Art ultimately is a form of communication, understanding other people and yourself will make you better at it. Technical skill is fun and speaks for itself, but your experiences will reach much deeper. In a world where we can't even begin to compreehend the powers that be, loving and understanding what is close is probably gonna make your life and art much better.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

bro your pepperman and peppino comic hasn’t left my brain since i saw it. i just love the dynamic of a ginormous freak and peppino being both intimidated and flustered.. bro i wish there was more of those two

I should draw them some more bc i really like the dynamic ive written for them 😊 For u anon, i will share some minor (silly) thoughts ive had about them

-Pepperman absolutely has a little baby crush on this man. TEENY TINY. The kind of crush that means nothing- hes a little 💅🏾 and hes an artist like ur gonna be a little gay w all of the friends you make; thats just the way it goes 😭 Like Peppino is sooooo handsome and soooo strong and he can cook and hes smart and he doesnt stand down when confronted (he LOVES this the most). So people in Peppermans Rich Friend circle notice the complete 180 his personality does when Peppino is invited to outings. Its not that Pepperman is being weird and shallow or fake, its that Peppino is probably his First Friend that wasnt rich and snobbish in anyway. Some part of him really REALLY wants to impress Peppino and it makes him act a little ‘foolish’ heehee 😊

-Following up on this, Pepperman visits the pizzeria out of the blue like MONTHS after he first invites Peppino out for the art sessions and like okay maybe they are friends MAYBE…but like he is still kind of anxious bc the last time he came here he almost got his skinned so part of him is like ‘maybe hes only amicable bc feels obligated to cooperate within the walls of my studio…’ BUT he shuffles awkwardly into the shop and Peppino not only waves but SMILES at him while hes attending to a customer and Pepperman is like ‘HEEEHEEUHEEHOOO………….’

-Peppermans art is worth a fortune; he is very well respected in the art world and any pieces hes made (including self portraits) are absolutely stunning. His abstract art is as beautiful as his realism; auctioning them off and doing occasional commission work is how hes acquired most of his wealth. Because of this, it is a MASSIVE show of good faith and comradery that Pepperman will often gift art to Peppino. Unfortunately, Peppino will not accept statues or huge marble sculptures BUT Pepperman is delighted to see Peppino accept paintings and mini sculptures, even if he LOOKS a bit confused about it 😭

-SO… when Pepperman comes by the shop some weeks later, he is overwhelmingly excited to see one of his pieces hung up on the walls. The feeling of having his art fawned over in an art exhibit does not even BEGIN to compare to the excitement of seeing his art being displayed in this common mans shop. Its a portrait of Peppino, stylized, w some funky lookin colors. Nothing fancy or particularly evocative. Just. Peppino! Looking a bit wistful with colors winding around him.

Even Peppino is like (snrk) “Dont you have your fancy arts in a museum or something? Dont see the big deal ‘bout ‘a this.” But its HUGE its like…suddenly it is not just his muse entertaining his artistic vision…his muse VALUES his artistic vision………..it makes him SO happy. He thinks about it for days. Its like; he had no idea that this is what it felt like to have…inspiration and motivation from an Outside source. His art, while breathtaking, felt like it lacked something…Rich. Years and years of self reflection and introspection and Never expanding his horizons, never realizing he was Capable of expanding his horizons until now…he is just a lucky little pepper 🫑🌶✨

[bangers2]

Jane Remover - Census Designated (Long review)

i wrote this after reaching 100 followers on aoty. The AOTY version can be found here if u wanna read it on there.

Hey! Thank you all for your support on my reviews thus far. Bangers2 started out as an impulsive Tumblr blog where I'd post a song a day, but that got stale pretty quickly so I ended up on AOTY. And it was scary at first (I once got flamed by like 3 people for making an "I hardly know her" joke...that was nice) but I think in the past couple months I've sort of found a community over here. The album that REALLY got me into music spaces and encouraged me to start sharing my opinions / analyses was this one!

Census Designated (or Census/CD, as I'll probably refer to it throughout this review) has been pivotal to my life since before it came out. I first discovered Jane through her feature on underscores' Wallsocket (an album which I'll probably review in more detail soon), where I instantly fell in love with her vocals. I checked out the title track about a week after it dropped and thought it was so fresh. There was a unique sort of pain to the song which really resonated with me at the time, and I kept it on loop for weeks. I was so damn lonely and depressed from October to like...February, and found a lot of solace in Census, especially "Holding a Leech," my personal SOTY of 2023. For the first time in my life I tried to get mental health support, and this album made communicating my feelings and circumstances a lot easier. It gave a voice to what I'd kept buried all my life.

On the other side of all the shit I went through, I still listen to this album a lot. Sure, it takes me back to some of the worst times in my life, but the genius of the production and songwriting is undeniable. I can’t stop coming back to it, even though it breaks my heart. I truly and genuinely believe that Census Designated is a masterpiece.

Census Designated is the sophomore album by Jane Remover, an artist who got her start making electronic music (Frailty, Dariacore, etc.). However, Census is a straight-up rock album, with loud guitars and harsh walls of noise. The lyrics are just as harsh as the production, with fictional stories of abusive relationships, violence, and a lot of body horror. With that being said, despite how much I love Census, I wouldn’t recommend this album to anybody…unless they’re in the right headspace for it. If you go in expecting “Frailty 2,” you will come out with ear fatigue and a hefty dose of nightmare fuel.

WITH THAT BEING SAID. The harshness of the album - all of its jarring static and blood-curdling screaming - is balanced by incredibly catchy melodies and a lot of introspection. Jane’s vocals are really great - a huge improvement since Frailty and even the venturing tracks. She has an incredibly smooth voice, and I can tell she’s influenced by a lot of pop vocalists like Ariana. I'm a vocal technique nerd. I bet SHE's so lucky to have a voice like that.

Vocals aside, I love the instrumentations on here too! She uses the harsh noise and heavy guitars to further the turmoil in each track. They’re all explosive songs, starting out quite calm and eventually building up to a huge release towards the end. It works out really well; on songs like “Holding a Leech,” you can feel the slight numbness in her voice on the first chorus turn into loud, unimaginable desperation by the end of the song, as she chokes out “how much longer ‘till I’m truly alone?”

ALSO!! The lyrics are SO good. She's said in interviews that none of what she talks about really happened to her, they're just abstractions of feelings she had been having. I think her way of articulating these feelings is so evocative. You can't take anything here at face value, so you really have to Analyze for the lyrics to make sense. Even without reading them over and over, I feel like, for me personally, there was a clear feeling that each line evoked, and it's so cool how open ended so much of it is. My favourite lyrics are on the title track, which is fuelled with so much anger and pain that it's sort of overwhelming. Jane said the song is about the music industry and how it takes advantage of young artists. Despite not relating to that at all, I ~felt~ a lot of what she was saying, and saw myself in a lot of it.

Census Designated feels like a cautionary tale; a story of the absolute worst case scenario. Nightmare after nightmare. Boiling water being poured on hands. Jaws being broken. Cars being crashed. Desperation. Begging for forgiveness. Throwing up. Waking up feeling fine, despite it all. In the absence of the physical pain, there lies a pit in my stomach as I listen to these songs. A sense of uneasiness. A deep, unexplainable sorrow.

This album will not save your life. Not like Nurture or Sweetener or any of those albums where you come out of it feeling like everything will be okay. No, this is an album that is harrowing. So intensely horrifying, that you might start to recognize that something is wrong if you resonate with it. And there's something so important about that. I can't say that Census Designated /saved/ my life; but it did change it. And for that, it's become one of my favourite albums of all time.

...And a 10/10.

Thanks for reading. If you've ever felt like I did, I just want to say that everything will be okay, and this, too, shall pass. You will survive. You will find a way out of it. I believe in you. Keep going.

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

Hi Izzy! I remember back in the day you were a big fan of Sunspring and wrote a beautiful piece discussing it and talking about AI art. Do you think any AI art has surpassed Sunspring? Have changes in the development of AI changed your perspective on it at all? Asking bc I love that essay and I’m very curious :) thx

(context for those who don't know, Sunspring is a short film made about 8 years ago that used a relatively early LLM to generate its script, which was then filmed with a real cast and crew. if you want to watch it here it is, it's about 9 minutes, i highly recommend it)

i've thought about Sunspring a lot as AI art has become such a big topic in the past year or so, and I think the pieces i wrote about it i still stand behind, though i got a few things wrong that i'll bring up when i answer the second question.

to answer the first question: i personally haven't see any AI art that has impacted me emotionally nearly as much, but i also kinda dropped off watching new movies (most of the new-to-me movies i watch are found footage horror movies, 70's porno-chic also-rans, and shot on video movies from the 90's), and i would wager that, if i could somehow experience all of the AI art that exists, there'd be something that hit me in the same way again. there's too much of it for that not to be the case, and too many genuinely creative people experimenting with it. that said, what was so beautiful about Sunspring was how imperfect the tech used to create it was. Almost all of the script makes grammatical sense, but the way it flows, the directions sentences go, the phrasing used is so strange that the friction between the failures of the tech to be truly convincing and the actors trying to bridge the gap to make it still work is what was exhilarating and moving. as the models have gotten better and better, as the rough edges smooth off, that tension so often has just faded into a bland beige unflavored oatmeal of average aggregate language. some of the phrases in Sunspring that have stuck with me the most ("I think I could have been my life", "Whatever you want to know about the presence of the story, I’m a little bit of a boy on the floor.", etc.) wouldn't be created by any of the most popular LLMs today. they're too idiosyncratic, the phrasing is too odd, the grammar almost but not quite there. the plot is surreal and associative, the structuring bizarre and dreamlike. the lines Sunspring ends on— "He looks at me, and he throws me out of his eyes. And then he says he’ll go to bed with me."— are some of my favorites in any film, and it's because they are abstract, poetic, like the computer stumbled upon a phrase so evocative that no written-by-committee script would've let it through. he looks at me, and he throws me out of his eyes. this man who is supposed to love me looks at me in a way where his love of me has gone, where i'm barely even seen as me. it's not the kind of sentence most modern LLMs, with their focus on being convincing, are designed to create.

as far as the second question, i think the biggest change in my perspective is how my belief in the technology, both good and bad, has curdled. i bought into the hype that the technology would progress to the point where screenwriting could be turned into an assembly line, and maybe after that the rest of the parts of filmmaking as well. i had hoped it would become a new collaborative process between human and technology, and i feared it would become a way for movie execs to pay people less and eliminate jobs. the first i haven't seen much of, and the second, while certainly the dream of so many boosters of the tech, has largely been a failure (though plenty, plenty of people have still lost their jobs to LLMs despite that, and as a labor issue i still think it is a very important area of focus). i was too caught up in the possibilities that i didn't bother to research who was making the tech, where the money was coming from, what growth in the sector would look like materially, etc. i still believe LLMs can be used creatively, but most likely any interesting art coming from them will emerge out of models custom-molded by artists to have some of those same rough edges i loved in the first place. i think, in terms of mainstream film, any use of AI is in service to the same bland competence the rest of the industry is mired in, a determination to make products for everyone that inevitably become products for no one. i've become a lot more cynical about the trend towards mediocrity in entertainment, and that cynicism is due at least in part to much of what i've seen come out of the AI space. i do not have a knee-jerk hatred of the tech, but it has not at all panned out how i had hoped or dreaded.

[open-hearth-rpg]

#RPGCovers Week Twelve Legacy: Life Among the Ruins (2018) Tithi Luadthong aka grandfailure

While they’re since become a regular go-to for many people’s stock art (a good thing, I’ve used them for the Age of Ravens collections), Legacy was the first place I really noticed Luadthong’s work. I’m sure I’d seen their images elsewhere but here the cover grabbed my attention. Then, as I went through the rest of Legacy, I was struck by how much the interior art by Luadthong felt consistent and right. 

I don’t know if it is a question of exposure and mental connections, but I can’t imagine any other art with this– the core book or the two supplements. I remain shocked that the art wasn’t commissioned specifically for these concepts and materials. Maybe they were all then released as stock art, but I don’t think so. I’m focusing on covers, so let me stick with that– but understand that the interior art in these is great, evocative, and smartly chosen. 

Part of what makes Luadthong’s work so good is that it presents a rich story, but one which leaves open a great deal of imaginative space. Things are in silhouettes, abstractions, or slightly blurred, leaving you to fill in the details. 

For our main cover, we have an orange sky– is it dusk or dawn? Or is the sky that color from some fallout? The lightest color falls about a third of the way down the page–so there’s a spectrum of light and dark from the top and bottom. We only view our figures from the back, but we can see that weird mix of archaic tech and cobbled together tech scrap. Just above them we see the ruins: titanic and collapsed.

But below them, where we’re looking down, we see a settlement. Are our figures returning home or is their purpose more sinister? The village below is the only place in the color scheme which shows us a true green, hinting that this is a place of life and growth. The logo at the top and the settlement below balance out the composition of the page. 

Legacy has a couple of supplements which use Luadthong’s work. The two most significant are The Engine of Life and End Game. The former is more green and filled with life, as is appropriate for the subject matter. We actually see the faces of our characters, but we’re still left with questions, like what is this structure they’re sitting in? On the other hand, End Game works in harsher reds and oranges. The sky behind burns, and it feels more like an explosion than a dawn. Unlike EoL the figure here is shadowed and uncertain, hidden from us. What is this “swing”? A metaphor or a literal harness for some flying craft?

We don’t know and again that’s its strength: letting us find our stories. 

I should also mention the Legacy logo is pretty good. I like the combination of a distressed font with an almost stencil approach for certain letters. I hadn’t noticed until I really examined this closely, but the letters are cut away by a ruined skyscape. At first I assumed that was an element added to the main title, but it’s actually part of the font itself and appears across the lettering. It’s subtle and great.

[indierpgnewsletter]

This Ship Is No Mother won a Luminary Grant and also it's good and you should check it out.

The Luminary Grant is from Hit Point Press and it's for games that they want to support. So you should check out the game!

Why? Well, my favourite games are mechanically innovative, politically progressive, and just great fun to play. This Ship Is No Mother hits all three like a truck, if I can say that about a game of mine. 

Mechanically, it's a Forged in the Dark game that uses card instead of dice. This has many effects, including that the players hold cards in their hand which act as much more tactile substitutes for BitD's abstract stress metacurrency. 

Politically, it's a game of scifi horror that puts working class people trying to survive against the depredations of megacorporations at the centre of the narrative. 

And lastly, it delivers some of the most fun, high tension one-shot experiences I've ever seen. It's a joy to play - characters are evocative but easy to make and you always, always ends with a bang. Sometimes literally! 

Players draw cards from a deck of regular playing cards to resolve actions but the deck also acts as a time. Every action depletes the deck, bringing the players closer to an explosive ending. This makes every action full of tension as players see their inevitable doom edge closer, in an experience much like Epidiah Ravachol's Dread. It was originally designed to play Mothership modules in a much more storygame-y way but it has become much more than that.

[chronotsr]

Pre-G1 Modules, part 1 - Temple of the Frog

So we're going to blow through this really fast cus there's a lot to cover -- I have 9 modules to go through before we hit G1.

G1 enjoys the reputation of "first DND module", but the reality is a little more complicated than that. G1 is more properly, "The first published standalone TSR adventure module". Which, as you can guess by the number of qualifiers, means it's not the first anything, really.

In the beginning, Tactical Studies Rules was Don Kaye, Gary Gygax, and Dave Arneson in a design capacity. They flopped around for a while, stealing copyrighted shit for money, releasing mediocre wargames, and eventually shrug and release DND anyway. It does very well. Don Kaye dies, they reorganize TSR into TSR Hobbies because Don's wife didn't like being involved, and we have enough preamble to get to Temple of the Frog.

TSR Hobbies had pole position to win the race to first adventure, and it worked, although for a variety of reasons (like Gary not really getting why someone would want to buy a premade adventure), they didn't publish discrete adventure scenarios. The first published, commercial adventure is technically in the original D&D ("Little Brown Booklet") supplement #2, Blackmoor: Temple of the Frog, and the dungeon is Arneson's.

Keeping in your head that Temple of the Frog is the literal first adventure is the very first adventure because this is basic as hell. There's a cult to the frogs, they're trying to make the most bestest amphibian monsters, and 1.0 twists.

It's kinda charming though. This could be anyone's first map. My first maps looked kind of like this, in fact my first dungeon map was also a big church. A lot of early conventions are already here: a map is provided, on grid paper. Rooms are keyed, evocative descriptions are given (although this is actually pretty ho-hum, stating things as boring fact). The preamble is adequately interesting, but doesn't really establish any important context information about the actual conquering of this temple (the key system would be nice to have first, rather than buried halfway in, but be nice it's the first one). Conspicuously missing: any information about suggested starting level or party size. Now there is a old-school tendency that the levels of a dungeon should increase in difficulty about one level per….level.

In traditional Arneson form, there's some scifi bullshit going on. Here's some fast tidbits about this module:

The new head of the temple is an alien. His magic devices are all technological devices. There's spaceships. It's not my jam, but you simply have to accept that scifi/fantasy fusion was the trope of the time, it is completely ubiquitous in 70s fantasy books.

There is a weirdly complicated system of magic (technology) rings that control doors. There's a hierarchy to them that takes a whole page. It's clearly very important to Dave!

There's something about timeshifting that is, frankly incomprehensible to me. I do like hiding the big secret lair under a giant organ, though.

After you get through the first floor of so, so many people wandering around, we finally have monsters. A room of medusae (former captives), gargoyles operated with scifi bullshit, magic chains that turn off traps, giant rats and skeletons.

There's some very fun verbiage here, "each [medusa] taking 16 hit points". Like, taking 16 points worth of hits. It makes sense but there's something very fascinating of seeing this period where the metaphor of hitpoints is not just A Thing That Has Always Existed, but clearly something you have to explain to people and they are still thinking of it in less abstract ways.

Some further fun verbiage is that at this point, "Dungeons and Dragons" is a specific book that you can reference in the way you nowadays would say "Check the Dungeon Master's Guide". Check the Dungeons and Dragons! (Fun fact: the titular Dungeon with Dragons is, in fact, Blackmoor Castle's Dungeons.)

This sentence drove fear into my heart. You are bolder than me if you're gonna run an encounter that has 1,200 enemies in it. In what I can only describe as rank cruelty, cloudkill expressly doesn't work on them. And then the adventure just kind of ends. Dave, buddy, you can't tell me that the alien-priest reports back to the mothership and give me no means to go there. That's malpractice man! It would be my literal first port of call if I was rewriting this. I NEED TO SEE THE FROG FANDOM ALIENS' SPACESHIP.

Overall, the vibes are still very wargame. The building is a castle that feels like it's meant to be sieged more than raided. But it's the first! Anyone who runs this in 2024, and in a modern game engine, deserves a kiss on the forehead for their hard work.

[zukkacore]

you reblogged that director's cut ask meme and i KNEW exactly already the scene. towards the end where it starts with:

"Disappointment. “Look. Whatever fantasy you’re trying to cling to, I don’t want any part of it. If you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care. I’m just—done playing house, Porter.” to "How ridiculous."

OR anything about the pomegranate tree which. i put my phone down to stare at the ceiling when the pomegranate tree was mentioned.

HIiiii!!!!! Thank you so much for sending me this honestly you picked a good one.

Ok. this scene is crazy bc i think it was the flashback scene that felt the most necessary to include. Not the one i fought the hardest for (jace good/bad teacher you have my heart ended up making sense but for a long time i was like cut that shit. You know you just want to be indulgent. Until i realized the ratgrinders haunt the narrative). Nor the one that feels the most. Obvious I guess? Or the most evocative? (The one where they're at Porter's house feels like so vivid and real to me not like necessarily bc of my writing its just like real in my mind like if Jace is reading Porter's memories there's definitely something in there that is just Precious and Heartbreaking and Deeply Ironic and almost simplistically affectionate in its portrayal of the Old Jace.

Anyway. This scene in the backyard felt. Necessary I guess? But i also worried i was trying too hard to make it work. It actually wasn't even really originally about Frosty Fair. Like. Jace still was walking out bc of a fight abt the ratgrinders but it was more abstract? I think the fact that its like ruben was getting attacked by grix is a throughline though for jace taking damage for TRGs in the forest. The ratgrinders were not originally going to be this like chekovs gun and like i honestly felt kinda bad that i was like. hm. awfully convenient for Jace to forget abt them so quickly in favor of getting. some dick but also like that's the whole POINT. I was like. Well i can at least highlight how absurd that is by making him ashamed but not really altruistic enough to do anything about it. But its like. Kinda the throughline now.

Originally I was like. Honestly rly embarrassed bc i felt like Jace taking damage in the forest was such a contrived way to get him and Porter to hook up like oooooh patching up injuries how original. But I feel like. There's a whole subplot kinda ABOUT jace taking the damage now. Now the whole story is about how he cares.

And post-Jace HATES that that's the reason Porter brought him on b/c he's so alienated from that version of himself, and he's disgusted with himself for feeling like he's never doing enough or caring enough. For being neglectful and running away. So when Porter grabs his wrist in the memory,

“I don’t think so, Stardiamond. You want this to work. You care, you always have. I know that’s who you still are.”

it's like. He's not seeing Jace for who he is. He's still clinging to the past. But also don't think he's completely wrong. Because jace does take that damage in the forest. He always had that capacity to care in him.

Anyway. I'll backtrack to the. Top of the scene tho.

Disappointment. “Look. Whatever fantasy you’re trying to cling to, I don’t want any part of it. If you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care. I’m just—done playing house, Porter.

Ok so this comes right after the whole. Jace wants Porter to acknowledge what he means to him. & Porter only mentioning his utility to The Plan. So. In my Mind the fantasy that Porter clings to about Jace and the fantasy Porter clings to about the house of sunstone heir of the cliffbreakers thing is made of the same stuff. It's all a glorious past that has been lostt to him. It's all something he's desperately trying to cling to.

There's also the fact that Jace says "I'm done playing house, Porter" (which i know is epilogue coded what can i say we get metatextual up in here). But. To me that's about. This idea of family. Porter feels he's been denied something of his lineage. In his mind he's doing this for his family as well as himself. I really wanted there to be something in there about Jace basically saying like. Why do you need to do this for your family. I'm your family. But it felt too on the nose and maybe not true to the character. B/c like. What family? The whole Jaceporter and the ratgrinders make up like a shitty fucked up fall of the house of usher type family is so real to me. But the thing is. That's a fantasy. Most of the ratgrinders are shatterstarred. Porter is clinging to something that doesn't exist.

And he says "if you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care." which. I think I needed to justify something within the text... But besides that. "get another me to do it" is so like. I think there's two things in there. 1) Jace is talking about his own replaceable nature within the plan. Calling attention to the fact that Porter actually COULD replace him, he just doesnt want to because he wants it to be jace. He just won't say that he'll say i need you you're so important blah blah. 2) obviously that's a bit of a jaceclone reference. He's saying literally another me, and long as I personally get that distance from you idc.

already talked abt the you care line so I'm gonna skip past it.

Another swing of Bigby’s Hand. This time, it’s a miss, and it dissipates—too rattled to concentrate. Jace seethes. “I don’t give a fuck what you think of me, or about who your Jace was. I’m —”

Ok. So like. I've talked about this a little bit, but I actually I do have a soft spot for the guardians of the galaxy 3 i actually think its pretty good and i don't like peter and gamora really but i think gotg3 uses them in very interesting ways b/c Quill keeps trying to insist that this gamora (a gamora from another time who never experienced the movies) should live up to the gamora from his memories. The line i actually really like is "What are you so afraid of within yourself that you need me to be something for you" which AAAAGGGGHHHH i feel sick about is very jaceporter to me. (The other scene that is very them is gamora saying “you know. I’m still not who you want me to be” and him going “yeah but who you are ain’t so bad” “I bet we were fun” “like you wouldn’t believe.” PORTER YEARNS FOR OLD JACE BUT ALSO ?? DID OLD JACE LOVE HIM TO THE POINT OF INVENTION?)

I don't think Porter would ever refer to the old jace as His Jace but I definitely think this jace conceives of it that way. & this is even more fucked bc PORTER put him here. That shit just happened to Gamora. PORTER is the one that wanted to actualize and use Jace but also misses who he used to be. And porter isn't wrong that this jace has the capacity to be as "good" at the old jace, but he's definitely not willing to acknowledge the harm he's caused or the pain this jace is in. I almost ended the exchange with "I'm Jace" but i felt like that also would be too on the nose. The fact that the name Jace is inherently a little bit silly does take a bit of the bite away. Sorry bestie beloved but its true ur name is ridiculous.

I think so much of this fic is Jace reconciling that he wants to be loved but he doesn't know in which way. Like. On the one hand he's saying please love as I am—as a person who has undergone irreconcilable trauma, different and the same. On the other hand he's saying please love me as I am— as the doggish, devoted frankenstein's creation that can't help but love his creator. And I think there's a little bit of both here. A little bit of Why are you asking for the old jace when i am what i am, the person you made, someone else, and i'm RIGHT HERE. And its a little bit of Why are you asking for the old jace expecting me to be something i no longer recognize, can you at least acknowledge that this trauma has changed me, that i feel different, that i feel as if i can never go back. But maybe those are the same thing

I also want a brief sec to talk abt that bigby's hand. I just wanted something that would leave a large impact i think? Like. this is such a WEIRD pull but i was watching that dirty laundry w/ brennan in which he talks abt getting in a car crash where the car trenches a hole in the grass and stops just shy of a woodchuck hole and he starts laughing in shock. I thought abt that a lot in the scene with the Motivational Poster bc of the laughing of shock but i also liked that imagery i guess of trenching a crater.

Pain, as the rage crystals and untamable arcana course through his veins—he can feel it in the present, too—and then the Jace in the memory surges so bad that he passes out on the lawn, but not before frying the nearby pomegranate tree to a crisp with a jolt of lightning. Jace turns away from that one as if flinching from a raised hand. Despite everything, he wishes most of all to apologize about the tree. He could laugh. How ridiculous.

Im playing a little loose with sorcery stuff but aint that the sorcery way i guess. Anyway I like in other fic when Jace has a hard time controlling his sorcery due to being shatterstarred as a way of being like yeah he's discordant with himself. Its sooooo good. I think the rage here is a little bit his and Porters. I don't know if thats how it works in the text but i made the call that jace's rage can also incite the crystal to act up.

OK SO lastly. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE POMEGRANIT TREE JUST BC ITS FUN even tho its literally is like. Yeah I love Hadestown and Jaceporter are soooooo persephades / orphydice coded. I liked the imagery of his surge being so bad that it kills the something dear to Porter in the garden, and I was like. Frying a tree sounds cool. And I was like. Well if its gonna be a fruit tree of COURSE it can't be any old tree it has to be a pomegranite tree. OF COURSE. And it's not stated but i do think it kinda was the centerpiece of that garden. And of course like. A pomegranate on its own already means a lot. In terms of like. Death n rebirth Persephades and this idea of the cycles of the seasons and leaving n returning and the overlap with this idea of like, corruption and a Fall from grace

Also a shoutout to my ability to neglect real world facts. "Lily, white, and Poppy red. I trembled as he laid me out. " Yeah, Porter decimated the poppies in the fight. They're completely out of season but we can play pretend.

I do think him wanting to apologize for the tree is like. Such a funny moment. I think after i wrote what happened to the tree i felt bad for said tree. There is something really sad abt that. So i think Jace would feel bad about destroying something that takes so long to grow, that Porter cares about, and find away to blame himself even tho Porter is the one who started everything.

Anyway. This scene felt. Necessary bc i think there needed to be some semblance of showing them in like. Actual conflict. at the time i actually did NOT know that THIS would be THE FIGHT in the exhange that Porter was talking about earlier. When he said "i thought you meant it this time". i mean. its not explicit but I do think there's a finality to the interaction that implies that yes. Jace was fucking serious this time. And again there's that throughline of the ratgrinders haunting the narrative. About Jace caring and feeling like he's never caring enough.

Like, so much of the story is ABOUT Porter looking right past jace and i felt like there should be scene that. Says it outright. But also. Not being completely wrong. IMO. B/c I also think Jace was threatened by the version of himself that porter sees. And he thinks he doesn't live up to that. he COULD never live up to that. (And in some ways he does. In some ways. He's might even be perfect in his own way. He kinda loved Porter to the point of invention so)

[ilikereadingactually]

Small Ghost

Small Ghost by Trista Mateer, illustrated by Lauren Zaknoun

it's been a while since i read some poetry, and this was a quick but powerfully emotional read. i went on a journey.

the book in one sentence: a small ghost navigates the nadir of depression and the slow upward climb to feeling better through frank and conversational free verse, evocative photography, and slowly lightening art.

having made that climb upward from incapacitating depression myself many years ago, i found this collection extremely recognizable and poignant. Mateer doesn't try to disguise any of the extremity of the experience: the emotional and physical mess, the blank hopelessness alternating with sudden sharp anguish, the weeping in the grocery store (that one made me laugh). but neither is the slow brightening of the horizon disguised, as small ghost begins to pull herself out, gives therapy and medication a chance, starts finding or noticing or concocting things to live for, just a little bit longer.

all this blunt poetry, which is so charming and emotional on its own, is paired with fascinating photography of small ghost—a figure in satiny bedsheet—and a wide variety of other art that grows softer and sweeter as the book progresses. the combined effect feels raw to me, unpolished in a very pleasing way, a project born out of the extremity of feeling rather than any abstract idea. it's so evocative of a similar time in my life, and provides such wholesome comfort too, without any tinge of shame.

overall, a really honest, compassionate, humor-laden take on depression and grief and slow, gentle improvement.

the deets

how i read it: another e-galley from NetGalley, pretty soon i will have made it out of my backlog hole.

try this if you: love poetry about mundane activities but deep emotion, dig artsy books, or want a reading journey with a hopeful trajectory. can't help but think of one of my favorite musicals, which offers this trajectory too: no one's screaming at you, so you feel all right for ten minutes. if you feel all right for ten minutes, feel all right for twenty minutes. feel all right for forty minutes! drop it and smile, why don't you feel all right for the rest of your life?

maybe skip this if you: need to avoid depictions of depression and suicidal ideation. maybe that's obvious after reading this review but just reiterating

some lines i really liked: the most relatable moments, to me

It's strange, all the things you forget about when you can't find the scars to prove they happened anymore.

---

small ghost spends six hours on tumblr A day. At least. Looking at sad quotes, accidentally learning Greek mythology, getting caught up in shipping wars, pretending to be a poet, pretending to be a person.

---

She breaks all the plates just to order new ones, just to have something to look forward to for three to seven days. She pulls out a credit card in the middle of the night to buy the Barbie she had when she was ten.

---

but you haven't ruined your life. You have saved it. You're saving it right now.

pub date: September 24, 2024! It's out there, go find it!

[theresattrpgforthat]

I just learned there's games that use cootie catchers/fortune tellers as their primary mechanic! Any recommendations??

THEME: Cootie Catcher TTRPGs

Hello friend, I have a few options for you, as well as a way for you to make your own!

amimir, by vapordruid.

WHAT DO CATS DREAM ABOUT? ~

Discover it playing this solo story-game where you, as an indoor cat who shares a bond with a fellow cat. Dream alone or together, guided by a cootie catcher/paper fortune teller with evocative prompts and different ways to interact with the paper toy.

This looks like an abstract game that you have to put together yourself before you play it. From what I can tell, much of what is inside the cootie catcher is abstract, so it’s meant to be a tool to fuel your own imagination, rather than a way of providing narrative structure to your play. The concept is absolutely adorable!

Slender Threads of Freqs and Fortune, by satah.

Using a deck of cards & a cootie catcher paper fortune teller, you're going to generate a series of pieces of information, then act on them. Whether you're low on time, money, access, or some other resource, the circumstances of your mission mean you don't have the privilege of verifying most of it before you have to use it.

This is a cyberpunk game about someone who has modified their body to be able to open themselves up to radio waves. This someone is called a Freq. The issue is, that you can’t slow down to figure out whether the data you’re receiving is truthful or helpful or both - so you have to leave things to chance while you’re in the middle of a mission. You can play this game solo or with a group - what you’ll need is a deck of cards and a print-out of the game document, so that you can turn it into a cootie catcher.

Fire Sauce Fever Dream, by The Space Jamber.

Based on the feeling of being That One Guy™ enjoying themselves in Taco Bell in the year 2000, Fire Sauce Fever Dream guides players through creating and journaling their own Bell-inspired memories over four courses of play with a Cootie Catcher in place of dice. Players can choose to extend their fever dream as long or as short as they like -- after all, who's to say how long we should savor those flavors?

Taco Bell is off today, and your character will have to navigate whatever’s going on as they navigate their four-course meal. It’s also meant to immerse you in the memories of eating inside a Taco Bell. If you want a chance to stretch your imagination (or your memory), you should check out this game. If you bought the TTRGPS for Trans Rights in Florida Bundle - you already own this game!

The game is built off of the FOLDS SRD by Fleet Detrik, a game engine designed specifically around cootie catchers! If you have your own idea for a game that would run off of fortune tellers, you should check it out.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

How to Write Pretty Prose in Your Novel

Introduction

When you read a book, do you ever find yourself getting lost in the language? Do you admire the way the author paints a picture with words, evoking emotions and imagery that transport you to another world? If so, you're not alone. Many readers appreciate beautiful prose, and as a writer, it's something you should strive to achieve. But how do you write pretty prose? In this post, I'll help you explore some tips and techniques for crafting language that is both lovely and effective.

Before we dive in, it's important to note that pretty prose isn't just about flowery language or using big words. It's about finding the right words to express your ideas in a way that is both pleasing to the ear and easy to understand. It's about creating a mood, conveying meaning, and engaging your readers. With that said, let's get started.

Section 1: Choose Your Words Carefully

The first step in writing pretty prose is to choose your words carefully. This means paying close attention to not only the denotation (dictionary definition) of a word, but also its connotation (the emotions and associations it carries). For example, consider the following two sentences:

1. The sun was shining.

2. The sun was beaming.

Both sentences convey the same basic idea, but the second one is more evocative. "Beaming" suggests warmth, happiness, and a certain radiance that "shining" does not. By choosing specific words that carry emotional weight, you can create a more immersive reading experience.

Additionally, consider the rhythm and sound of your words. Reading your work aloud can help you identify spots where the language may feel clunky or awkward. Varying sentence length and structure can help keep the prose interesting, and using alliteration or other sound devices can add a pleasing musicality.

To summarize:

Choose words that:

Have emotional weight

Sound pleasing when read aloud

Are specific and evocative

Section 2: Use Metaphors and Similes

Metaphors and similes are powerful tools in a writer's arsenal. They allow you to create comparisons that can help readers understand complex ideas or emotions. For example:

1. Her heart was a stone.

2. The clouds were a herd of sheep, grazing lazily across the sky.

Both of these sentences use metaphors to help the reader visualize and understand something abstract (a feeling, a sky full of clouds). When using metaphors and similes, it's important to choose comparisons that are both accurate and original. Avoid cliches ("he was as tall as a tree") and instead try to come up with comparisons that are unexpected and fresh.

To summarize:

Use metaphors and similes to:

Help readers understand abstract concepts

Create original comparisons

Avoid cliches

Section 3: Show, Don't Tell

One of the most fundamental rules of writing is "show, don't tell." Essentially, this means that instead of telling readers how a character feels or what they're thinking, you should show it through actions, body language, and dialogue. For example:

Telling: John was angry.

Showing: John slammed his fist on the table and clenched his jaw.

By showing the reader what John is doing, rather than simply telling them he's angry, you create a more immersive experience. You allow the reader to draw their own conclusions and engage with the story on a deeper level.

Showing instead of telling can also help with pacing. Instead of bogging down the narrative with exposition, you can move the plot forward through action and dialogue. This keeps the reader engaged and invested in the story.

To summarize:

Show, don't tell to:

Create a more immersive experience

Allow readers to draw their own conclusions

Improve pacing

Conclusion

Writing pretty prose isn't about being flowery or pretentious. It's about crafting language that is both effective and pleasing to the reader. By choosing your words carefully, using metaphors and similes, and showing instead of telling, you can create a reading experience that is both engaging and memorable. So the next time you sit down to write, remember to focus on the beauty of your language, and your readers will thank you for it.

Copyright © 2023 by Ren T.

TheWriteAdviceForWriters 2023

[wandringaesthetic]

Let's try to talk about Baten Kaitos some more (i think I'm near the end of it):

I'm tempted to say the plot is bad, or simple, or that it feels like it would have been brilliant in the 16 bit era but is made ridiculous with a lot more text and voice acting than it can support (and the fact the voice acting is Notably Bad doesn't help).

And I guess that's true.

But there is also some Really Interesting Stuff here. Take Magnus, the gameplay concept, the cards. When you are attacking a monster you are not hitting them with a sword but with a copy of the core idea of a sword, do you understand? (It's okay if you don't, I don't really)

We could leave this as a gameplay abstraction and it might be best to do so and not worry how or if this idea interacts with the universe of the game. But we don't. It turns out the protagonist's parental figure, his grandfather, was a researcher of these Magnus. It was thought that one couldn't capture the Magnus of a person (though you can apparently do it with an animal. one of your cards is a chicken don't think about it too hard), but he was trying to find a way. He didn't manage it, but he did create a Magnus, and from one of those Magnus he created the protagonist. Kalas was born from the idea of a person. He was supposed to be An Ideal, but he kind of sucks, actually. He's emotional and immature and impulsive. He sells his soul to the evil god for revenge or something. For a little bit he leaves your party and you have to kick his ass and save his soul with a magic mirror. In a world where people have two wings that are supposed to be some kind of reflection of their soul, he's just got one. (WE'LL COME BACK TO THIS) He was Too Much. Too Human. But grandpa took care of his little Frankenstein's monster accidental son anyway, until his past with the empire came back to bite him.

I can't talk about this game too much without talking about Chrono Cross. Masato Kato directed that game and wrote this one. (He also worked on Xenogears and Final Fantasy VII--this is about to be relevant) The games share some other personnel, but without going down a rabbit hole of interviews and game credits and writing some fanfiction about Squeenix and tri crescendo and MonolithSoft in the early oughts I'm not going to know who else to lay all this at the feet of, so Kato is going to be the assigned face.

Both games are both nearly perfect in presentation. Colorful and evocative in setting and music. They both have gameplay that is Probably Good But Weird Ideas that needed a few more iterations of refinement. They both have Very Lofty ambitions that they Do Not attain most of but still attain a pretty impressive number of.

Must a game be good? Can it not be a series of beautiful and evocative locations?

Both games also make a plot point of their gameplay abstractions. Chrono Cross in terms of FATE/records of FATE, i.e. save points (Xenogears does a similar thing), Baten Kaitos in the form of the aforementioned Magnus and the fact that you, yes YOU, the person playing the game, are a character in it, a sort of spirit that is accompanying the heroes on their journey and whispering in Kalas' ear.

And about those wings. Xenogears has IIRC an in universe creation myth where mankind originally had wings, but only one each, so that in order to fly they had to cling to one another. And then there's Final Fantasy fucking Seven, where, idk whether to lay "One Winged Angel" at the feet of Kato or not, (that probably has more to do with Nobuo Uematsu and Tetsuya Nomura). But Kato was probably in the room where Angel Wings But Just One happened at least three times now. That has to mean something. That has to be significant.

When it comes to boss design of the antagonist's super-powered monstrous form, much has been said and extrapolated about Safer Sephiroth and maybe it would be better to say less. Both "try to create a perfect being with imperfect hands and imperfect ideas of perfection and you create something useless and monstrous," and "we are made cracked and flawed and that's where the love gets in."

Just like this game! (Just like this transition!) Both this game and Chrono Cross have a sense of the unattainable about them. Chrono Cross deals with alternate timelines and the things that happen in some future or past that will never be. Beyond that it seems somehow yearning for something it can't depict. Gorgeous as it is it doesn't look like that opening FMV attract reel. Nothing in its story reaches the heights of "Time's Scar." With Baten Kaitos it's mostly in the strangeness and beauty of its world. People have soul wings that look like a peacock's or a dragonfly's or a hawk's. They live in islands in the sky. One of your characters is a simple fisherman--of a river that flows out of a pocket dimension and through the clouds. Another of your characters attacks with what looks like a futuristic gun, but are actually Magnus of brass instruments, and the structures of the imperial city he hails from recall the tubes and valves of the same. Villages look like storybook pages, or ice cream. But the lofty settings are pinned down by a pedestrian plot. The evil emperor is resurrecting the evil god with five macguffins because of.... Reasons. You must take revenge on your evil half brother.

But again. Must a game be good? Don't we need flaws for the light to get in? Maybe Kalas is perfect with his one mechanical wing and his mangled soul. Maybe that's the point.

[hypnofantasma-asks-and-doodles]

Alright I've got several questions about the dream sembla after having read the toyhouse page: 1 - Does the second sentence imply that dream users can "directly edit emotions, feelings, and memory evocation" for waking subjects? Sorry if this question seems obvious, I just want to be clear 2 - When a dream user enters a dream, do they leave their physical bodies behind in some way or fully enter the subconscious realm, no trace of them in the real world? 3 - Can dream entering be done from a distance? If so, how familiar would the dream user have to be with the subject (would they have to exactly know the sleeping subject's location + have met them in person, or would something like a photo or even description be enough? I imagine they'd have to at least know of the subject to target them)? 4 - Could a dream user prevent someone from waking up ever? If not, could they be prevented from waking up early through inducing a lucid dream? (As in the subject would wake up in accordance with their sleep schedule but would not be brought to reality prematurely through specifically realizing it's a dream) 5 - Are there devices/inventions made specifically to bar the entry of dream users from intruding into dreams, or is there really not much in existence to stop them? 6 - Can dream users make people fall asleep? I know that's more somatic but it's worth asking 7 - Fun question: Suppose two dream users enter the same subconscious space. Could they then have some kind of epic battle in the dream world? Would the loser then be shunted out into the waking world if they exerted themself enough? Sorry, I know it's a lot but I am very curious!

1- Nope, only directly for those who are dreaming. Those who are awake won't really "feel" any difference, but they may change in some subtle regards that they themselves won't detect. Dream is an extremely abstract one, don't worry

2- Nope, they still have to project their conscious. They know how to keep their bodies safe while doing psionic shenanigans. Most of the time.

3- There's a certain radius that increases with focus extending from the user. Familiarity isn't a factor with attempting to enter, but "entering" a dream is like entering a sort of labyrinth. the more you know someone, i suppose it makes traversing the labyrinth easier

4- You can't stop someone's body from doing body things. If someone's woken up, they're woken up, though you can make efforts to prolong the dream. No Dream user can permanently keep someone asleep by themself.

5- Yep! There's sorts of "forcefield" type devices out there, ones that can cancel certain psionic pressures. There's some that are focused to Dream and blocking out Dream usage in small radii.

6- If one is EXTREMELY powerful and/or knows exactly what they're doing, sure. it's heavily frowned upon save for licensed doctors who deal with insomnia.

7- Who knows! All I can say is that stuff starts getting weird when multiple external consciousnesses enter the same dream.

[amalgamgooze]

fervent wind - oppressive gale

It's always exciting when the weather app shows "wind" as the weather for the next hours.

I mean, to watch rain buffet and trickle down the windows while unseen thunder accents your cozily-lit (or cozily-unlit) bedroom vantage point during a storm, or to gaze out upon a squall of fluttering snowflakes as the world is covered in white powder during a blizzard, perhaps while sipping hot cocoa and sitting by some source of warmth (be it a space heater or a fireplace)... while those are both incredibly cozy, they're not quite like windy days.

When it's windy out, you can take walks in the wind.

Enthralling, no?

...

I get it. There's a lot of charm to watching rainfall/snowfall. It's nostalgic to even think about it--all the times I'd woken up and looked out at a newly snow-covered world or the late summer nights accentuated by the soft pitter-patter of rain as I stayed up until ungodly hours playing Terraria on my 3DS.

But wind is different.

Wind isn't cozy.

It's exhilarating.

It doesn't matter if the wind's blowing from in front of you or behind you. Either way, you'll still feel that same rush.

Strong, oppressive headwind makes you feel purposeful. It makes you feel as if you're fighting something--and winning. Yes, you may face oppression in the form of the gale rushing past you, but you're still making progress. At best, this headwind is a child clinging at your ankles, a pitiful ball-and-chain, only barely hindering your forward progress. In fact, the dust and debris it blows in your face is probably the worst part about it. You're conquering nature when you march onward in the face of oppressive gales.

On the other hand, immense, empowering tailwind makes you feel hopeful. It's the rush of nature on your side--the wind carrying you to your destination, Mother Nature cheering for you from the sidelines of whatever battles you might be fighting. You feel enhanced in tailwind. It's almost as if you resonate with the winds on a deeper level when it blows from behind you.

And tailwind after headwind is just more exhilarating. The battle's been fought, the campaign is over. Once adversaries, locked in combat, now friends, perhaps sharing a drink at the local bar. A gentle reminder that our "enemies" in this time are just friends in another.

And when the headwind gets so immense, when it kicks up so much dust you can't help but look down and shield your face, *that's* evocative. It's like the rush from riding a rollercoaster--"Haha, I feel threatened! I might be in danger!". However, wind is no meticulously engineered novelty ride--it's the uncontrollable (as of now) pressure gradient between two different systems, it's beyond the puppet wizardry of mankind's hands--again, for now.

Wind gets me riled up. It excites me. Especially the warm, sticky summer wind. After a long day of programming abstract, so-far-removed-from-actuality bullshit statistical analysis algorithms all day, these incredible gusts prove their worthiness of my appreciation through their rejuvenation of my spirit.

...

Have you ever felt the winds blowing in your face, as you stand on a bridge high above the rushing currents below? As you gaze out at an empire built of steel and concrete, as bikers and cars whizz past behind you?

It's existence. It's the proof of my existence. It's small, pitiful, and meaningless on a cosmic scale, but on a smaller, personal scale, these valiant winds blow past a hero fighting their own personal battles.

I've fallen before, but just as the winds die down and return stronger, I too don't go down without a fight.

...

The winds fill me with fervor. What do they do for you?

[botanautical]

Hey Sea!! Happy New Year! I love the atmospheres you create in your art! The beautiful color palettes capture the mood so well 🥰 I’m still absolutely obsessed with your Oda Wanderer above the Sea of Fog artwork it’s so wonderful! What are your favorite pieces you created this year?

Hi Sable!! Happy New Year to you too, apologies for only just seeing this; this was so kind of you to send and really lovely to see in my inbox!!

I didn't manage to make a whole lot of art last year, but I am pleased with the ones I did manage to make. I think above all of them, my favourite would have to be the piece I did for Dazai's birthday! I really enjoyed creating this piece, I had been struggling to feel motivated and inspired as an artist for a short while prior to making it, but for some reason the process for that one flowed very organically for me and I'm still very pleased with the end result! I think it embodies a lot of my goals as an artist regarding emotion and atmosphere, and was a suitable homage to both the character and the writer.

Another that stands out for me is my art of Ranpo from the Untold Origins light novel. This piece is quite a dark and personal one, but I think the end result is very evocative and dips into the waters of abstraction which I have been rather keen to explore through my artwork. I believe I have improved technically quite a bit since sharing that art (almost exactly a year ago!) and I sometimes grimace at the messier aspects of it, but I think it conveys a raw and specific emotion that ended up speaking to not only me, but a lot of the people who saw it - which was certainly a pleasant surprise.

Also, seeing as you mentioned it, I feel really pleased with the piece I shared most recently of Oda! I really enjoy creating art that is referential to pieces from art history (and Sable, I really see you as a master of this in the bsd fandom asfdgsdfgs - I still haven't recovered from your Soukoku redraw of The Fall and I believe I'm behind on some of your recent works!!) - this was my first time really sharing one and drawing it was very fun and engaging. The Dark Era and similarly the relationship between Dazai and Oda are two of my favourite things about Bungou Stray Dogs, so I wanted to acknowledge this in a meaningful way, while also working on improving my handling of composition. I put a lot of symbolism into that illustration and it was also nice to pander to my interest in graphic design while doing so by making it look like a mock-up for a poster or book/movie cover. The direct reference to the Friedrich painting came rather naturally - it feels fitting for Oda's character, particularly during that specific arc. Similarly, the visual of Dazai's hand reaching out was a direct nod to the anime, and the instance of Dazai doing so not long before the culmination of the narrative. It's a moment that struck me personally when I watched it, and resonated with me enough to depict it like this; it perhaps adds another layer of meaning to the artwork when one considers it to be from the perspective of Dazai.

Sorry for rambling, this was a really lovely question and it was nice to reflect on some of my work from last year! Thank you once again, Sable!! Happy New Year everyone, I look forward to sharing some more art with you soon! ⭐