#not internet as in the people in this tiny box

[wrong-directions]

Dear Internet, I hate you.

I am attention deficit and you, Internet, are an attention-eating monster waiting to swallow me whole.

But I have to risk being devoured now because you have my partner and my friends somewhere inside you.

F*ck you, you silicon sh*t-bag.

[medicinemane]

.

[pickingupmymercedes]

Ways to say "I love you" part 2 - Lewis Hamilton

I think we all deserve a little something after the horror we went through in today's race ❤️

warnings: mentions of blood, accidents and bit of angst

wordcount: +2k

important: again, each drabble was writen as a snippet into different moments with Lewis. Special thank you for my 💗 anon for helping with some of the ideas

As always, my asks are open for corrections, ideas and just to chat too!

Over a cup of tea

“We need to talk this through, before it blows in our faces, Lewis” Serious expression on your face as you handed him the cup of tea on the balcony of your apartment overlooking London.

“Mhmm, we do?” He questioned confused.

“Yes…what exactly are we?” You couldn’t look him in the eye as you questioned him, too embarrassed you weren’t sure if what you felt the night before was real, even if come the morning he was still there, as he had been for the past two months.

“Those words last night meant nothing to you?”

“They meant the world, actually”

“But you don’t feel the same?” The confusion now passed on to him, forehead scrunching as he questioned if he hadn’t read your relationship right, and your body responding before your head could think it through as you reached for the hand he willingly let you take.

“I… I need to feel safe to say it back.” You responded after a few awkward seconds of silence as he waited for your response.      

“I want you, if you’ll have me. I really do love you. And you don’t need to say it back now, just let me know if this relationship is for real, because I want it to be.” He said looking into your eyes, anxiously waiting until you lifted your head to give you a smile.

“Thank you for understanding” You said buried into his neck as you took the tea away from his hands and brought him closer.    

Over a bottle of wine

“Found board games!” You excitedly exclaimed as you walked back into the house. Tiny feet stomping away and reaching you in seconds.

“Is there Monopoly? Uncle Lew said we could be here for daayssss” Willow was the first one to start taking the boxes as you handled her and Kaiden the pile you had just borrowed from the nearest neighbor

“Are they still stuck in New York?” You asked Lewis just as he set his phone down.

“Earliest forecast is tomorrow night, possibly” a concerned look to him as his mom and sisters got stuck in a snow storm on their way from England to Colorado.

“Guess we have these two to ourselves then”  

“Granny said it’d be good practice for you to take care of us” Kaiden chirped in but not fully aware of the shock in Lewis’ face at the remark.

“It’ll be fun when there’s two more girls to play with” This time Willow getting you to choke on the water you were drinking.

“Why two girls?” Lewis amusedly asked, aware you were still trying to hold the laughter in the kitchen

“Dunno” She simply shrugged as she helped her brother set up the game.

“Two girls, huh?! You know people say I’m a girl dad…” He brought back the subject as he picked up the mess left in the living room, a glass of wine open on the kitchen counter and two glasses already in your hands as you approached him after putting the kids to bed.  

“I think I’d be happy with that” Your soft smile easing the tension you felt in him as he mentioned kids with you for the first time, handing him his glass and dragging him to sit down on the sofa for a bit.

“I think I’d prefer a boy then a girl, you know, so he could be there for her.” He said after a bit of silence, almost as if he was pondering what would be best order, and you could feel the yearning to have kids of his own in his voice.  

“I agree with the internet people on that one, you’re too much of a girl dad, babe” You set your drink on the side table, cuddling closer to his chest as he pondered on his glass.

“Doesn’t really matter, honestly, just one would be more than enough. As long as I got you too”

As an apology

“What the hell was THAT for?” You threw your handbag and phone all the way across the kitchen island as you looked at Lewis standing at the door, an annoyed look to him.

“That guy shouldn’t have approached you” His mind still on the tall blue-eyed dude that tried to buy you a drink at the club.

“I can handle myself you know?! Never had the need for a knight in shining armor…” all your anger gone as you realized how absurd that sounded when said to your knighted boyfriend, a smile cracking the tough face you were fighting hard to keep.

“I love you, okay?! You may not need to be saved from a monster but you’re gonna have a knight by your side regardless.”

Taking the cue, he reached for you and brought you close by your waist, tucking one side of your hair behind your ear while using his other one to caress your check.

“Yes sir.” His sweet eyes turning into dark one as he heard you whisper the title and felt your hands rummage through his back. 

As a hello

You smelt his cologne before he walked back into the room from the bathroom, woody and citric tones overcoming your senses as a light tug at your exposed breasts demanded your attention back.

“Hey darling, you done there? Sure you don’t anymore?” The little fingers of your month-old baby girl clutching your fingers as you softly redirected her small mouth back to the spot her eyes wildly looked for.

“Gosh, I love you two so much” His remark a common occurrence in your daily routine in the bubble of nappies, changes and feeds your lives had turned into those past weeks, in the dead of the cold but sunny winter in Monaco.

“Hello to you too, hot stuff” he smiled back as you checked his toned abs adorned by the towel in his waist, sitting by your side in the headboard of your bed, hands caressing your thighs.

“You sure you’re going to be okay here this weekend?” Concern written all over his features as he stroked your daughter’s tiny legs.

“Your mom’s here, my mom’s here, we’re gonna be just fine Lew.” His eyes searching for any doubts in your mind.   

“I’m only a call away, okay?!” He whispered as he kissed your head, enjoying the last moments he would have with his little family for a few days before yet another season began. 

With a shuddering gasp

It’s funny how time really is relative, you thought as you slowly watched four cars pile onto each other in a traffic jam that had just about three other cars in front already. You weren’t even paying attention to the road before, only really looking up from your phone when your car suddenly swerved right and hit the grass on the side of the road.

“Are you okay y/n?” His whole body hovering over yours, hands already unbuckling your seatbelt as Lewis tried to grab your attention.

“C’mom babe, we need to get you out of the car, now” He tried again but you couldn’t respond back, still in shock from the near miss, your hands a wobbly mess as he squeezed it.

“I’m carrying you outside, okay?!” He didn’t even wait for a reply before lifting you like you weighed nothing, examining you in the process to check for anything hurt while he carried you to the rest of people waiting by the road.

It took a while, more than a few minutes for your eyes to start focusing back on your surroundings. He was knelt right in front of you, worry all over as he asked again and again if you were hurt.

“You saved us” You gasped quietly as your eyes finally reached his, his hands cupping your face the second he heard you, your lips already on his as you felt his arms taking you into his body.

In a letter

You’d been, since the beginning, the one he wanted, comings and goings through the years hadn’t been able to diminish the electric pull he felt whenever he saw your smile light up the room, even from afar. But as if the universe liked having a laugh at their expenses, time and time again you’d both find your lives going in complete opposite directions. So, as he sat in his desk writing his vows, he could only be amazed that by some miracle he had found his way into your life and into your heart.

“ … So, I vow to be your lover, companion, partner and ally. Through what may I promise to always be there. I might not have the answers or tools but I’ll walk with you, through the darkest of valleys or at the summit of our dreams.

I love you for you, because you give me the chance to be my truest self, because when you’re around I know we’ll find our way through. I love you, and from the moment I learned that, I’ve been giving it my all to be worthy of you.”

When the broken glass litters the floor

“Fuck, why did I do that?” Your exclamation coming out a bit louder than expected as your eyes started to water from the sharp pain in your hand, blood already dripping from the gush on the palm as you looked to the pieces of the glass on the floor.

“Babe? What’s happened, what was that noise?” His voice coming from just outside the bathroom door, fidgeting with the lock to try and get in.

“Please, let it be a good timing” Was all you could whisper to yourself, the knot in your throat almost suffocating you, the reality of it all too much to comprehend or process, your feet automatically swerving the glass and blood on the floor to get to the door.

“I hope you don’t have anything important going on in the next months” you said just as his eyes tried to scan you and the bathroom. His features with confusion all over as you handled him the stick with the 2 lines on them.

“What’s… but the doctor said…really?” You watched as all types of emotion tumbled across his eyes, overwhelmed an understatement to what you both felt at that moment.

You nodded just slightly after a few moments of his eyes questioning yours, the start of a smile forming on his lips as his arms reached you and engulfed you in a hug, crashing your injured hand in the process.

“Ouch, hand” He froze as you winced, putting two and two together, looking to the blood and the remains of the glass and seeing the injure on your palm for the first time.

“I do hope this kid takes after you and isn’t as clumsy” You pointed as he sat you down at the tub to check the cut. His smile reaching all the way to his eyes as he chuckled and looked at you.

“Nah, I hope this kid is every bit just like you.”

With no space left between us

You could feel his movements as he opened the parachute and brought you two back down to safe land, but nothing managed to tear your eyes from the immensity of the sky. There was infinity as long as your eyes could see and you were nothing in comparison, your thoughts long lost to the smallness of human race.

“You were awfully quiet up there, you good?” His voice a bit dry from the wind, your bodies tightened together as the guys got you both out of the mess of ropes.

“I think I’m still processing how small we really are” You answered almost to yourself, still trying to comprehend what you had just experienced.

“Another go at tandem is due then?” You saw the smirk in his face as you turned to look at him, his arms still very much wrapped around you and his fingers circling in your forearm.

“Thank you for dragging me out here, but how did you know I’d like skydiving?!” You reached back to his arms while they strapped you out of the seat, holding him closer, still with the ghost feeling of the wind around.

“I love you… that’s how I knew you’d love it.” He said to your hair as he held you to him, smug face as he reveled in the feeling of you.  

From very far away

The speakers blasted the victory song as each of the three drivers on the podium sprayed champagne around, everyone drenched and smiles thrown left and right, laughs being heard all the way around the Monza podium.  

As Lewis stood by the edge of the platform, he lifted his trophy at the sea of Tifosi, as a way to show appreciation for the support so far on the season and at his new home race, dedicating his win to them.

Turning to the pitlane he also pointed his trophy to the Ferrari team, scanning the crowd he found you at, just by Fred and Anthony, tears flowing down and a gleaming smile that could light up his entire soul. You tried mouthing something to him but he couldn’t quite make it out in the overwhelming state you were all in.

“I love you” he said to you, from the top of the podium, knowing that whatever it was you were saying, and whatever it was that happened, could be answered and resolved with those three words.

[cosmique-oddity]

Cosmos and Soundwave Story Line

Made with the precious help of my mutuals @gravedwe11er and @polarpasteque

Because we thought maybe the Mecha Universe lacked a bit of a space Nerd :)

Based of @keferon ‘s AU

————————————————————————————

It felt like a rainy day, when the skies cry and you decide to stay at home, watching the weather from a point where it doesnt affect you. Intensitive at even one single drop, usually, you take a blanket and watch at these amount of water, crashing on everything. Set the world all grey.

Well space was just far bigger. Far lonelier and, as a matter of fact....just more far. He watched the little blue planet, with his white volutes the day and all the littles spotlights at night, mimicking the stars all around. Even the Black void of space was captiving, far deeper than all kind of Earth's deepest oceans. We could say....it felt like the little planet was slowly swallowed by darkness.

Cosmos understood why a lot of astronaut came back to Earth and didnt care a lot about Earth matters. How could you pay any attention at some human conflict when the space was so much bigger than human's hybris ?

He shared that opinion. When he made his first trip to the outer space, Cosmos couldnt stop himself but admire the little details, even the more basic ones ever to space life. He was almost distracted from his original mission but, happily, the man was good at multitasking.

Floating like that, in the Hermes I Station, he knew he wouldnt want to return in Earth. Ever.

And while he was gazing at the immensity of the greater dark, he didnt realized how he was trapping himself, definitely, on what he was now calling 'his great loneliness'.

Not that it was any different than on Earth, he always was that silent man, that clever and kind and courageous man. Everyone of his colleague knew to call him if they needed something.

"Call Cosmos, the one with stars and space shuttles on his desk, he is very strong, he can carry that".

He didnt even know when he became 'Cosmos'. He was useful. Everyone knew to call him for help, but the thing was...nobody really knew him for himself. He was Cosmos for everyone because that was the only distinct thing the other could tell about him. He was obsessed with the stars. Pretty average among training astronauts ? Maybe, but Cosmos physically yearned for space and stars. Everything was about that. Escaping Earth. Setting himself on a tiny space box and sort of leave this physical realm. Be among his Kind, the cosmos.

Now, among the stars, he was feeling it. The loneliness. Wasnt that different from before, but maybe more hopeless. He talked with people, yep, everyday. His Job was very important, using all the high tech tool he has at his disposal to find the Kaijus, the fastest possible, and warn the Kaiju's Extermination Organisation. He saved lifes. And on the same side, was trying to intercept any extra terrestrial communication, from Kaijus, to find something, anything that could slow their obliteration.

Cosmos was aware of their war and how they were losing it. But everything was so far in space...the program that choosed to isolate him on that tiny flying box at the edges of their gravity force and Earth's magnetical shield also prevented him from War's horrors. He didnt saw any horrible things he knew were happening. He know it, saw it on internet.

He sighed. Mostly, his work was to watch the AI of his computer do the job alone, and assist any bug he saw.

Lets say they werent a lot of them, and oftenly he was just watching any serie his internet connexion allowed him to watch. Or searching for any weird frequencies on space.

Did he said he nammed the AI Doc ? And was talking to the thing, on top of that ! Doc wasnt a bad person. His answers were just a little bit expected and repetitive...

This day was one of those empty day. No scary alien was threatening humanity. Well, in the film he was watching, Alien, he couldnt say so. Did he mention he was a space nerd ? Even the movies he watched reflected that.

And because IRL Aliens were invading his homeland didnt mean he didnt enjoyed watching similar scenario in movie. He was far from everything. It wasnt affecting him at all, this war.

The latest human he spoke to was a Mech Pilot, codnammed Jazz he was charged to monitor through space. He a was solar person, loving music... Sympathetic, you couldnt possibly hate Jazz even if you knew him only three minutes. He was Talkative enquiring for the astronaut's mental health, alone out there. Cosmos has felt compassion for him. Someone threw him too, in the middle of the biggest knowhere existying. Except everyone knew Jazz and considered, and liked him, so it was certainly difficult for the pilot to leave. It wasnt for Cosmos.

Cosmos knew he was the last living person he saw. Because Jazz vanished. Probably died. And this human was the living being he grieved the most in his whole life. He cried alone in the space station when someone ordered him to stop searching for the silenced voice of Jazz.

They didnt send another man, and that, he was glad. He prefered having emotions toward an undying AI than realizing how many people died around him.

Cosmos was sat at his desk. Question of protocol, he wouldnt imagine not being here and missing a Kaiju and being responsible of Earth's destruction. Slowly dying from oxygene loss or being swallowed by some extraterrestrial giant jaw.....or being held hostage and having eggs layed on him.....

Maybe he should stop watching that movie.

Suddendly, an audio signal howled inside the etricate desk room of the station, Cosmos paused his movie and stood up, enthusiastic. That was the radio signal ! Jazz being finally alive ? An old broadcast lost in space ??

Radio news were the most interesting informations he could have !

All happily, he floated until having the complex system of communication in his hands. He could proudly affirming he knew everything about this machinery. That was his most loyal friend and good news annoncer. And he have been to silent since Jazz disappearance.

Except this time, the intercepted message wasnt translating in words, it wasnt an audio media. His device was displaying error messages. The thing was extremely weird looking. There was some space radio wave, in a frequence he never heard of before now.

Some weird alien wave ? He was displaying itself on repeat, as if it was enscribed into the FSK modulator (that one device used to send signals via frequency through very far locations). He took the headphone and tried to module the initial suit of waves into something audible. Changing the setting everytime he heard a risible ‘pfffuit’ or a deafening ‘SHRIEEEEEERK’. Maybe he would lose his hearing before translating the enigmatic sound wave. And people would be forced to send someone after him. Someone else, less used to loneliness would be where he had been. Wondering the same things. Sleeping in the same berth. Being disposable was always an unpleasant thought.

He slowed immensely the data of the enigmatic wave, and finally began to hear something approximatively human. English it was.

“.....Noise…..”.

An erailled, full of static voice could be heard, close to Cosmos's ear, and all it was saying was a statement about what he was hearing from the beginning of his manipulation. What the hell was this message ? It was coming from so far ? Was it alien ?? Did he finally succeed on the mission of finding another life form or even more interesting, secret Kaiju's comm line ??? Were the extraterrestrial sentient after all ???

He slowed even more and passed on another frequency. The message kept its static and emotionless deincarnated voice but the pronounciation was perfect and audible.

“Noise : excede the safe amount” “Sentient local specie : Endangered” “{QQZERRTEAAASS} : might and will hear”.

What was that ? The first alien broadcasted message in history and it was telling him to shut the fuck up ?

The unbearable piercing scriieech sound before ‘might and will hear’ was not rocket science to understand. That was probably speaking about the Kaijus. Kaiju and danger formed a loving couple from the past decade.

He took some time to mentally register the information before imobilizing. Eyes wide. Another signal was displaying. And its been on display for longer than he noticed. That was Kaiju's detection signal. His heart stopped for a while. Since how long had he been focused on the translation of the alien message ?

Floating as fast as he could. Wich must have been fun to watch if he wasnt alone, Cosmos crossed the distance between the modulator and the board computer for the second time of the day. Faster.

He read, panicking highly, all the pings across the screen and finally allowed his heart to slow down.

He was wrong. He was not that useful. Doc took care of the attack, he…..it warned the Extermination Organisation, and triangulated the position for the intel responsibles back on Earth.

The only thing it needed from Cosmos was writing a report and archive all the attack's metrics.

He sighed. Doc wouldve done very well without him, if he could automatize this part of the script, he would be officialy useless.

He nervously scratched his curly ginger hairs. He hadnt noticed how long they got (not that long but longer than the classic military haircut he adopted at the beginning of his formation). Useless ?

No. Cosmos had now the most important mission of humanity. He had to answer back to the alien form that wasnt (probably) a Kaiju. He worked on Doc's automatization for a while, remembering suddenly he had to eat at some point. Biting proudly in his sandwich, he told the AI.

“I cannot assist you anymore, old friend, i have my own mission to accomplish now, im going to talk to the Alien. And if i can convince him to help, then maybe i can save Earth !”.

A small little voice inside of him asked if he wasnt completely insane and delusionnal and wasnt inventing himself a mission to prove he wasnt worthless. He shut the voice. He was Cosmos ! He would talk to the alien. Peoples would remember him, they would remember because they would survive !

………………….

He spend weeks into trying to imitate the complex alien sound wave. This was so fast, so evoluated, and yet, the data was speaking a perfect english ? How was it possible ?

He frowned.

“Try again buddy, your Alien is going to be bored of you”.

He was calling the very small message he recieved ‘His Alien’ and wrote several copy of what it was saying on papiers and pinged these on the walls. Like a serial killer.

His own message, “Are you another sentient life form ? My name is Cosmos”

Wasnt definitely as professionnal as he would make himself believe, but he was trying to convert it to the same kind of radio wave as he recieved.

He has to remember how he translated the message in the first time.

And invert the protocol.

But his FSK modulator was simply not strong enough. He had to power down a few things. Useless things absolutely. And only for a few seconds. Nothing too dangerous about that. He definitely wasnt a small human in the middle of uncooperative environment.

The man inspired deeply and started his protocol, disabling the lights of the station, and preserving the oxygene system at all cost, along with the pressurisation system and basically all life preserving systems.

It worked. He had his message. He could send him via the FSK modulator.

He pressed the button and smiled deeply. He just send a message to an Alien !

“Hey doc ! Guess who established contact with the Alien ! Oh oh im going to ask him sooo many questions !”.

No answer. Cosmos remembered having to disable settings about conversation in order to efficiently make Doc replace his work.

He felt incredibly lonely.

“Im sorry i had to silence you Doc….”.

The signal of external message ! Again ! And that quickly ??? How.

Hyperventilating, Cosmos giggled to himself and turned to the modulator. The translating part was much easier now that he did it one time.

“Designation : Soundwave”. “Query to Cosmos : why answering ?” “Procedure of making further noise : susceptible to increase the attention of {QQZERRTEAAASS}”.

Oh, so his Alien was really a Soundwave. That was his name…. Funny.

The Kaijus again ? And this weird speaking manner again ? He thought for a couple of second about an adequate answer…But there werent any established protocol in case of contact with intelligent aliens. The Kaijus couldnt speak with them. They tried, so this meaned Cosmos was doing that freely. Nobody knew, nobody done that before. He was free to speak to the Alien as unprofesionnal as he wanted. He could tell his governement later.

“The Quiizertas ? Already noticed us. And attacked, more or less sound wont change anything about that”.

The answer was quicker again

“Prononciation of opposant : incorrect”. “Reading : /’kwin:n'te'zau:n/”. “Status planet ?”

The voice asked. And using the phonetical alphabet with that ?? Where did an Alien learned that ??

Cosmos bit his lips and answered, with an intensified apprehension.

“Planet uuuh. Under attack. Of the Quintessons” He translated with his own vocabulary, excited at the idea of inventing a new word. “Resisting with our technology but its barely enough. We need help”.

“Earth : very small” “efficiency of resistance : surprisingly high”. “Soundwave : cannot provide help at the moment. But i need to understand what is making your fight against quintessons fair”.

Cosmos blinked in front of his modulator.

“What ? Fair ??? We are being destroyed here and he call that a fair fight ?”. He paused. He had more conversation with this Soundwave than with any human being since Jazz. He might getting attached to the outer life form if he kept answering his question with fairness.

“Cosmos, stop. He could look like a pudding, or even not being material”.

Right. The name was Soundwave, the alien could be only made of sound waves.

He could also be a Xenomorph and lay eggs on him at the first occasion. The young astronaut didnt want to die with his stomach perforated !!! It looked very painful in the movies….

“Hoping its a E.T. kind of alien….”

“Are you hostile to my planet or kind ?”.

He shyly asked. Kai- Quintessons were enough trouble for his ‘small’ planet. Oh god it was his new favorite word ! He invented it. Well….technically he just translated with his own alphabet the phonetical alphabet Soundwave gave him. Hm.

His answer was quick.

“Your Specie : dont seems hostile towards our kind”. “Conflict : not wanted”.

Well that was positive at least.

“Is it some kind of space alliance ?”

The answer arrived later than the others times, and for a couple of stressful minutes, Cosmos feared that all of that was just a dream. Wich was possible, considering how he ate the whole pack of his last cookies last night. Maybe he was sick. At this moment, the answer arrived at his ears.

“Alliance : would benefit both of our planets. What is your status among your specie ?”.

Cosmos took some times to take off the headphone and start a gravity-free dance of victory.

“i….made….an alliance….with a fricking alien….!”

Or maybe the Alien would suck all of his internal organes out of his body and lay eggs on his brain. Maybe.

But, but maybe he would save all of them from the Kaiju, and they would befriend their specie ! Yeah. More probable. And Cosmos would be the first human to have made contact with them ! So they would like him. Soundwave might be as excited as himself was to discover another specie ! He would listen everything, because data about alien was a common source of enjoyment. He wouldnt even have to say something interesting !

Cosmos reached Doc's screen and yelled at him with a joyful tone.

“Doc ! Guess who just made the first pacific contact with another life form ! From another planet ! Perhaps even galaxy !”.

All full of wonders and lively, Cosmos answered Soundwave again.

What was the question ? Ah yes, “statut among specie”.

“I am erm…..Space Explorer. And Responsible of all communications to report and locate the Kai….Quintessons”.

He tried to make his post sound cool and not ‘im just a guy assisting an AI far more developped than me and honestly i feel useless”.

“Soundwave's statut : Communication and Information Officer among Cybertronian's forces”.

That sounded very military. The good or bad side of this information was debatable. On one hand it was surely better than just have Soundwave as an ally. But an Alien army ? It was more dangereous than just innocently talking to Soundwave… For a random reason, he had the impression the word ‘among’ has been twisted a little in comparaison of the otherwise perfect pronounciation of Soundwave's voice.

“Great i suppose. This mean we are kind of similar in statut….?” “By the way…..”

He cut himself at the middle of his answer, thinking about it before answering. What was the most pressing question about the extraterrestrial being at the other side of his spatial Phone ?

Wait. He had it.

“How do you speak exactly the same language as me ?”

That was a question. For the first time since the recieving of that first call, Cosmos wondered if someone was just playing with him since the beginning, making him look like a fool for his own distraction. Wont be the first time. Was Soundwave an Alien ? What stupide name was even Soundwave ? The answer stopped his spiraling.

“Soundwave : recieved radio wave from your planet : cracked the language code. Very interested on a large panel of codes and language, find the understanding of foreign dialects : very stimulating”.

Oh funny one, Soundwave considered his language like a code to break. The Alien was very interesting, and wait a sec

“Your heard the radio waves ? But you must be very far from Earth, the waves must have distorded every sound and mixing with others space sounds”.

“Soundwave : is a great listener”.

What did he meant by that ? But another voice line could be heard now.

“But data from radio waves : insufficient”. “Interfacing with local technology : optimal for the comprehension of your successful resistance”.

Interfacing ?

“You want to come here ? To Earth”.

“Yes”.

That last message was very short but awakened an insatiable curiosity in the Astronaut's heart.

“Oh my god my Alien is going to visit us” he whispered with joy.

One last question, because he felt brave.

“May i continue asking you questions while you uh…..travel to my planet ?”.

“Soundwave : is a great listener. And is feeling curiosity towards your specie”.

The voice repeated his phrasing “May I ask you questions ?”.

And Cosmos's loneliness slowly faded away.

——————————————————————————————

Annnd here is my little Cosmonaute <3 had to make a design for him

Welcome to the ginger club, blorbo.

Soundwave’s is coming soon he will look like his TF One self, with some modifications, in order to effectively hide himself from Earthling that are more Earthling than Cosmos hehe….because tf1 Soundwave is some sort of space ship. It’s not very useful when you want to hide from our paranoid society

(You guys will like it !!)

Ps : Hi Keferon ! I know you don’t necessarily seek for the ramifications of your AU if it doesn’t connect with you but I hope you will like this little story/introduction to my sweet platonic space chilling ship)

[gfthe-fearsome-foursome]

Ford, question to you: What is your opinion on FNAF?

“Five Nights at Freddy’s? Oh, don’t get me started unless you want a full lecture! It’s not just jump scares and creepy animatronics— it’s a labyrinthine masterpiece of storytelling layered with metaphor and a mystery that would make even the sharpest detectives rip their hair out! God knows figuring out the games had me in knots for weeks!"

"First off, think about the concept of survival: you’re this helpless security guard, stuck in a tiny office, forced to fend off animatronics that are more than just spooky mascots— seriously! You could take it literally or look at them as manifestations of guilt, regret, and unresolved trauma! The entire franchise is a thesis on consequences."

"Take the lore— oh, the lore!— a deep dive into the psyche of William Afton, this utterly complex character who’s not just a villain, but the embodiment of obsession and self-destruction. His crimes? Literal and metaphorical ghosts that haunt him, and us! The animatronics aren’t just killer robots; they’re the spirits of lost children, seeking justice or revenge, depending on how you look at it."

"Then there’s the pizzeria itself— it’s a façade! A cheerful place masking a horror show beneath, symbolizing how people bury dark truths under layers of fun and nostalgia. Oh, and don’t forget the sheer meta brilliance! The player, stuck in a cycle of fear and repetition, mirrors the inescapable guilt and failure of the story’s characters!"

"And the theories! Goodness, the theories! Are the crying child and the bite victim the same? How do we solve Foxy's puzzle in the employee logbook? How does the timeline even fit together? Scott Cawthon has turned this franchise into a living, breathing conspiracy board where every detail— a picture on the wall, a snippet of dialogue— could be the key to unraveling the story, or just a red herring to mess with us!"

"And symbolically? The series plays on humanity’s innate fear of being watched, of losing control, and of the monsters lurking in the places we thought were safe. It’s a chef’s kiss of psychological horror, capitalist critique, and existential dread! And don’t even get me started on the music box motif— pure genius, the way it ties time, tension, and inevitability together."

"I even started playing piano again to learn the score of Georges Bizet's "Les Toreadors"! It's where Freddy's jingle comes from— but that's not important!"

"Every detail is meticulously crafted, and the Internet? Oh, the theories there are like a hydra— cut one down, and three more pop up! FNaF isn’t just a game; it’s a modern mythos, a digital ghost story that keeps evolving, daring us to piece together the puzzle while it stares us down with glowing eyes from the shadows!”

"Oh! Uhm— sorry! I think I may have gone a bit overboard... I hope this answers your question though!"

Blank template under the cut in case anyone wants to use it LOL

[hardwareabstractionlayer]

(the post editor malfunctioned and after a series of unfortunate events the original ask post is gone, so I had to make this screenshot mockup of the ask, sorry)

Thank you for prodding me to finish up a draft that's been sitting there for an inexplicably long time.

I will divide puns into exact homophones, which are pronounced exactly the same, and near homophones, which consist of the same phonemes with different tones. Though exact homophones are much punnier in speech, Internet jokes rely heavily upon text input and most people use phonetic-based Chinese input systems, meaning their autocompletes will often suggest near homophones and people will use them if they're funny enough.

To make this slightly statistically sound and not just me making up random puns, I grabbed 700k viewer comments from the years NiF was available on Youku, 2015 to 2020 (courtesy of danmu box). These danmu/弹幕 comments are timed to a particular moment in the show so they splash across the screen while you watch.

Let's start with the heavy hitters:

Xie Yu/谢玉 is an exact homophone of xièyù/泄欲, literally discharging desire, which means satisfying one’s lust or orgasming. Xie Yu's name occurs 5000+ times in the comments versus almost 900 orgasms.

Prince Yu/誉王 is an exact homophone of yùwáng/欲王, meaning prince of lust, and a near homophone, of yùwàng/欲望, which means desire (or the chaotic evil penis). The latter is far more likely to be autocompleted and shows up 1500+ times versus 200+ for the prince of lust.

Yùjīn/豫津 is a near homophone of yùjìn, 欲禁, or forbidden lust/abstinence. Because bath towel/浴巾 is an exact homophone and again far more likely to come up first in autocomplete, people overwhelmingly refer to him as the towel. In the comments, bath towel is used nearly 7000 times, 10x more frequently than his actual name, which is made up of two not-super-common characters.

Mei Changsu is often addressed as Su-xiong/苏兄 by Jingrui and Yujin in canon, which is an exact homophone of sūxiōng/酥胸, a literary term for supple and beautiful breasts that might have the same old-fashioned connotation as heaving bosom does in English. I'm going to call him gorgeous tits because he does bear a striking resemblance to the azure tit:

I've seen Chinese MCS fans note this resemblance before, but these birds don't have titillating names in Chinese so you can have this bonus joke for English speakers. Anyways, gorgeous tits are invoked in nearly 6000 comments versus almost 1200 for Su-xiong itself.

Now you can enjoy one of the comments from the above screenshot exclaiming over these names:

浴巾裹着酥胸，泄欲，这都什么什么 a bath towel (yujin) wrapped around gorgeous tits (su-xiong), orgasming (xie yu), what is all this

And the following off-color joke retold many times throughout the episodes:

Why is Mei Changsu called Su-xiong and not Mei-xiong? Because he has gorgeous tits, not tiny ones (Méi-xiōng/梅兄 is an exact homophone of flat-chested/没胸).

Here are some rarer-but-still-good puns:

Gōng Yǔ/宫羽 is a near homophone of gòngyù/共浴, bathing together (cue viewer comments about how she and bath towel belong with each other).

Níhuáng/霓凰 is a near homophone of nǐhuáng/你黄, slang meaning you’re perverted.

The emperor lives in Yǎngjū Hall/养居殿, a near homophone of penis hall since yángjù/阳具 is the yang implement, though it's most popularly punned with pigpen (I wrote about this here if you scroll to the end).

The travelogue Mei Changsu wrote annotations in, 翔地记, is an exact homophone of xiángdìjì/降帝记, or records of subduing the emperor (which I can only interpret as MCS’s Dom Diaries on how to conquer Jingyan).

To conclude, here’s a stacked area chart of the four horsemen of punny NiF names and how often they're spammed:

[hidefdoritos]

Transition in the Internet Age

1. how to tell if you're trans

The child, who's just learned to operate an incognito tab and clear their browser history, starts trying out different names in the uquiz box.

2. what is genderqueer

One friend starts using they/them pronouns. A trans guy joins in the next freshman class. He wears awesome shirts and has great hair.

3. top surgery scars

An older friend starts using he/she pronouns interchangeably and is happy. The tumblr bio gets a new alias: initials, impossible to gender.

4. effects of trans hormones

It's just curiosity. Having a phone opens up the internet. It's interesting that other people have made this choice for their body.

5. what is wrong with trans people

Loving God shouldn't mean hating a neighbor, right? "God made wheat but not bread, grapes but not wine." Sharing in the act of creation.

6. bisexual pride dice

The Sunday afternoon D&D group is almost all queer people. The stranger in the thrift store talks about a local queer clothing exchange.

7. top surgery near me

Making phone calls in the car for privacy. Coming home to someone who loves you, and whose "heart breaks for people who hate their bodies."

8. common love clothing exchange

Sneaking out on a Saturday afternoon. Open enrollment for health insurance comes around. Getting onto the local trans discord server.

9. planned parenthood

Staying up late to sneakily schedule a hormones appointment. Hands shaking around my injection kit. They believed me.

10. top surgeons near me

Telling just a few friends and coworkers. Telling off a coworker who's being rude about "the 'them/they' people." Getting an undercut that's easy to hide.

11. voice changes on testosterone

I don't get to make a video diary of "Hi, I'm Moss, and this is my voice (x) weeks on T." I have to hide my injection supplies.

12. microdosing testosterone

Coming home to Fox News. Coworkers call me "an exceptional woman." Internet strangers have everything from scorn to support.

13. how to feel normal

Church is a mixed bag of support. God seems nearer than ever. I thank everyone who's gotten me this far. The vials are tiny. My smile is wide.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

I got a good idea, what if the reader became aware that the bsd characters are self aware. So they stop reading and watching it, and playing the game because they think their hurting the characters.(this would happen before the bsd characters got into our world)

I am aware that you are aware

Self-Aware! BSD Characters x GN! Reader

Description: You liked BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan game. So many features, so many cards and story up to fourth season. You still baffled, that the game not that popular.

Why others think that your new cards is a fanart? Why people tell, that you can't get multiple SSR tickets from Marble Shining? Why The Internet tell, that game only describes two seasons and part of Dead Apple? And why people can have different nicknames in game, isn't it supposed to be your real name?

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

🐾 You just wanted to show, how lucky your pulls were in current scouts "Casino - Rats in the house of the Dead" and "Casino - Decay of Angels"

🐾 You made a screenshot of 2821 Fyodor D. "Casino", 3711 Pushkin "Casino", 5243 N. Gogol "Casino" and 1638 Sigma "Casino"¹ and post it on BSD Mayoi Subreddit.

🐾 You got comments. Lots of comments, praising the fanart... Or asking, why did you post an April Fools' joke now, not on First of April?

🐾 Fanart? Joke? What do they mean? It wasn't a fanart, it's an official card! You clearly remember doing a daily free 11-scout! And getting them!

🐾 But, a tiny seed of doubt appears in your soul. Was it possible, that so many people didn't get the cards? Or... Didn't see the scout?

______

🐾 Next strange thing happened, when you Shine the Marble for Ranpo. For this week it was a Campaign "10 shines for one click". The Marble Turned prismatic, and you exchange it for SSR Scout Ticket. Well, for a few SSR Tickets. You got lucky again and win "Detective Chance". A familiar phrase appeared in a text box near Ranpo's chibi:

"Great Job, [Y/N]! You deserve a little bonus! Let's collect more cool marbles later!"

🐾 You smiled. It was cute.

🐾 Unfortunately, one of your fellow students saw everything you were doing.

🐾 And they blamed you for playing a hacked game.

🐾 You snarled at them. If they are playing BSD Mayoi and were unlucky with Marble Shining today, it's not your fault. You aren't cheating. Besides, they were looking on your phone screen without your permission. And what if you were texting some private information during that?

🐾 They spat at you, mumbling something about 'there is no marble campaign right now' and 'never they gave you five tickets for a marble'.

🐾 They were rude, yes. They were in the wrong by looking at your phone screen. But... They won't gain too anything by lying. Especially, to you. You also play BSD Mayoi, you could check.

🐾 Could you?

🐾 You didn't notice, that chibi Ranpo opened his eyes. And his look wasn't the friendliest.

🐾 The next day you learned, that yesterday's student got some serious private information leaked. Something about blackmail and stealing other students projects. They will face some trouble.

🐾 ... Quite an interesting coincidence...

_______

🐾 You don't know, what made you do it, but, when your grandma asked you to download an app, that will remind her taking her medication, you decide to look up BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan game in app store.

🐾 Different icon. Not yours. Different screens. And comments...

🐾 Asking, when third season will be added... For more Fyodor cards... For adding Gogol cards... Asking for a Dead Apple Scout rerun... That was up last time almost five years ago.

🐾 This comment was from two days ago. But, Dead Apple Scout was just one month ago! You got Dazai's, Fyodor's and Shibusawa's cards!

🐾 They were wrong! Or... You were wrong...? Or no one was wrong.

🐾 You download necessary apps for your grandma.

🐾 And start thinking.

_______

🐾 You spend two hours in the library, using the university's computer.

🐾 Search information about BSD Mayoi in any language you could think of.

🐾 Online translators might not be the most accurate, but they let you understand the main idea.

🐾 There was no more story in game outside The Dragon Head Conflict. And the situation didn't change for years.

🐾 Aya, Rimbaud, Flags, Adam, Verlaine, Karma, Katai, Oda's orphans, Pushkin, Goncharov, Oguri, Gogol, Sigma, Tetchou, Teruko, Fukuchi, Jounou and Bram didn't have any cards on any server. And Tachihara didn't have a Hunting Dogs version of his card.

🐾 Some Scouts didn't have a rerun for ages.

🐾 Marble Exchange can give you one SSR Ticket for Max Level Marble.

🐾 There were never Junchirou's menu with daily recipes. Or Katai's menu with tips for keeping your phone safe. Or Mori's with fashion tips.

🐾 Devs never gave away SSR Cards as present for Maintenance end.

🐾 Characters never send notes with gifts to Players, thanking them.

🐾 Players could choose any nicknames, not their real names.

🐾 Either you get a special version of an app... Or... Characters were... But, it's impossible, right?

🐾 Were there any way for you to prove it?

______

"I love BSD for using small Easter eggs for people, who liked literature. But, I wish, they would do it more often. For example, real-life Junchirou Tanizaki and Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald were friends! They even play shogi together. And in BSD Tanizaki and Francis are barely interacting with each other."

After you finish talking with your friend, Ango immediately rushed to get the camera, and Junchirou and Francis start to set a scene. Tomorrow you will get a card you want! Card, that reflects their other world counterparts.

[Next Day]

"Oh! SSR card with Fitzgerald and Junchirou playing shogi? And it's called "Old friends"? Good... So Devs knew about that... story..."

Your voice sounded... Off. And Little Light trembled for some reason.

"Story, that I made up two days ago to test my theory. You... All of you can hear me, right?"

BSD Cast feel, like they were struck by lightning. They wanted to make a surprise to you and reveal, that they are self-aware, only when they got into your world.... Well, doesn't matter, they could try to speak to you, now...

Why are you crying? Who have hurt you?

Your voice were pleading. You sobbed.

"I am sorry! I am sorry for not realizing it sooner! I am sorry for every hit you got, when marble hit spikes or poison, or when enemies hit you! I am sorry, for reading about your lives, for learning your secrets without permission! For... Making you relive your lives... And for... Hurting you... Killing you..."

At the end, you were hysterical. You were the reason for Rimbaud's, Flags', Oda's, his kids', Gide's and Shibusawa's death. You were the reason, they got hurt. You howl, remembering that time, Kunikida lost his arms.

"I am sorry! I am sorry! I am so sorry!"

BSD Cast were in distress. You misunderstood the situation! They weren't angry! They liked you and will never hate you!

But with next words their world shatter.

"I... I won't read about your lives anymore. Or watch about it... I... won't play the game anymore... I won't delete it, because I am not sure, if this won't hurt you... I am sorry!"

You close the app.

Little Light fall on a floor, sobbing.

_____

Few days later you got an email from yourself. And from them.

"Dear [Y/N],

Please, listen to us. You didn't hurt us in any way! We aren't angry, we promise! You... Your love and understanding let us through our darkest times. We were lost, confused, we didn't know who we are. But you, you were here. You treat us and our emotions like we were real for you.

Please, open the app... We add chat, we want to talk to you.

BSD cast"

You re-read the letter a few more times. Then again. And again.

After some thinking, you opened the app.

______

You were chatting for a long time. You asked about how they became self-aware, what were happening, when you read new chapters. You asked about deceased ones, whose cards you got (you have never been happier in your life, after learning, that they were alive. Because of you). You asked if they felt pain, when they loose HP in game.

And BSD Gang asked you about your life, your interest, if they can add something else in the app that you need.

And about wanting to get into your world. About wanting to live in reality. And be your friends.

You have a feeling, that it was a beginning of something unique.

______

🐾 You keep your decision about not watching and reading BSD. They weren't characters anymore. They were real people.

🐾 You also stopped cleaning Battle Stages in Mayoi. Instead, you were chatting with the gang.

🐾 Slowly but surely you learned more about each other.

🐾 So, when they finally appeared in your world, you greet them like old friends.

______

¹ Something interesting about numbers:

2821 - "The Gambler" by Dostoevsky was the author's 28th work. And it was written in 21 days, because Dostoevsky lost all money he had by gambling and need money as soon as possible.

3711 - In "The Queen of Spades" by Pushkin the winning combination in the card game were three, seven and ace (considered 11 in some games and in the novel)

5243 - "The Gamblers" play by Gogol was played on stage for the first time in 1843, on 5 of February.

1638 - Year, when the first Casino in Europe was open.

[ofmermaidstories]

there’s something so bittersweet and lovely about fanfic, at it’s core. it’s so impermeable, because it’s so individual. fics don’t get finished. fics get lost because they were typed out and sent to friends, in the 70s, and somewhere along the way someone packed it up in a cardboard box and their kids shuffled it to the attic. websites go down. archives get built, but then people lose faith in the story or the canon or the creator and delete them. you read it at like, 3am, and can’t remember the title months later when you look for it again.

the tiktok these comments are from was lamenting about the loss of a favourite fic—it (the tiktok) had 85k+ likes, and over 700 comments, mostly similar to these. people talking about downloading fics to read on a tablet only for them to disappear the next day. using the wayback machine and combing through results, just to find something they loved. i think it’s sweet because it’s so human—how easily we love something, and how easily we lose it. i used to print out my favourite fics, as a kid—i still have a binder of them, buried under yearbooks and the old journals i kept during those topsy turvy preteen years. i could tell you the overarching plot to a Cardcaptor Sakura fantasy AU i read (and loved; it became my personality for months afterwards) but i can’t remember how it ended, or if it even did. i finally broke down and signed up for an account on AO3 specifically to bookmark an old, old fic that i had read somewhere else, years and years and years ago and found again on AO3 only because i accidentally stumbled on the author here on tumblr (i had only found the fic in the first place all those years ago because of a playlist). i used the same shade of lipstick for years purely because a fic i really liked had the main character apply it (it was a limited edition one at the time; i bought my first one from a ebay seller in the UK at double the retail price, lmao) while the love interest watched them, but i can’t remember the name of it, only how it made me feel (and how, for years afterwards, i would wear that shade whenever i felt like the day had something promising to it).

one of the first anon’s i ever got, in the early days of this tumblr, was someone who asked me if it was okay if they downloaded surrender—and of course it was. of course it is. there was a point, during the final stretch when i was trying to write the last chapter, that i almost lost the entirety of what i had written for that fic—and i mean, it was on AO3 by that stage so it would’ve only set me back a chapter or so, but it goes to show how fragile things can be. how sometimes fics only last in tiny ways—because of the unfinished PDF file someone downloads. The patchy memory of someone’s who’s jumbling it and three other fics together. Because someone wore the same shade of lipstick you mentioned, off-hand, for years afterwards.

(this is a love letter to the silent readers; the silent savers. the lurkers. fandom and the internet at large is made of lurkers (eighty-five thousand likes. seven hundred comments). people who saved fics and waybacked them and will reread them, even uncompleted. telling each other we did a good job, that we liked this or we liked that is wonderful, and fun, and a great (and important) way to build a community and has also given me my current friends—but sometimes something you make will matter and live on in a way you will never, ever know. and it’s just how it is. it’s part of the fun and it’s part of the charm. it’s just how we work as people.)

[dearweirdme]

Sweet suffering christ on a bike, misogyny is a hatred and prejudice against woman. We can all agree on that, right? Tae using the phrase "be my girlfriend" to express how he likes jungkooks cooking so much he wants to be in a relationship with him so he can cook for him all the time (really spelling it out here 😮‍💨) is not misogyny.

Does using the word girlfriend stem from the fact that he (like, I dunno 90% of the world?) was brought up in a patriarchal society that sticks to strict gender roles? Sure. Does it probably also stem from the fact that he was raised for and cooked for in his formative years by women? Sure. Do these strict gender roles and a well documented homophobic society play a part him not chosing the word boyfriend? Sure. All these factors play a part. Can misogyny manifest itself in these places, of course, and it does, patriarchal systems are inherently sexist. But Taehyung does not hate women and him asking Jungkook to be his girlfriend does not make him a misogynist. (Surprisingly, not the wildest sentence I've written this year)

Hyper fixating on something blown out of proportion purposely by people (jikookers) who hate Taehyung to his core is really, really depressing. It feels like a tiny box of fries all over again. The majority of people who raised this in the first place couldn't give a flying fuck about the issues of women's rights, rampant misogyny in Korean culture etc, they just look for any angle to dogpile on Taehyung.

Conversations on misogyny, gender roles, patriarchal societies and how to dismantle all our internalised prejudices are too big and too important to be having in these spaces, especially where the majority of the people who are trying to engage in the conversation do so in bad faith just to score fake internet points against rival shippers.

Hi @charjube!

Yes! Thank you for laying it out so clearly!

[wooahaes]

out for delivery

pairing: none? non-idol!svt with a mention of gn!reader

prompt: that one post i made about reader asking for them to send their cutest delivery guy

genre: comedy. this is just silly stuff teehee

word count: 1.4k~

warnings: food mentions. svt arguing about who is the cutest. i didnt proofread this at all btw its just supposed to be silly goofy fun.

daisy’s notes: this has been in my drafts for over two months.

Junhui was the one who read off your order to the others, only to stop when he saw the special instruction in the delivery spot: send ur cutest guy, pls. 

Of course, being someone with access to the internet, Jun had heard of this kind of thing before. People who throw in instructions like that for fun, or people who ask for things to be drawn on their to-go boxes (he always did those when they popped up--his art skills might not be perfect, but he can draw a little cat saying ‘enjoy your food!’ any day), or sometimes the occasional message from someone to another (the ‘person loves you’ or ‘person says to get well soon’ kind of deal). But this? Here? Well...

“Which one of us is the cutest?” He mused aloud, catching Jeonghan’s attention as he stepped away from the kitchen to wipe the sweat off his brow.

“What?”

Jun nodded toward the screen and your specific instruction. “They asked for a cute delivery guy. Who’s working today?”

Jeonghan paused, musing on the question. “Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Vernon,” he listed off, although he continued to wrack his brain to see if that Namjoon guy was in as well. Nah--Maybe on the weekend when they’re busier and need the extra hands, but three already is kind of overkill as it is.

(Not that any of them are complaining, that is: they’re still getting some sort of payment for all of this.)

“It doesn’t say cutest delivery guy,” Jeonghan said. “Just our cutest guy.”

Seungcheol looked up from his clipboard as he came back, brow raised. “Me?”

Jeonghan scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Obviously, I’m the cutest one here. I’ll make it.”

It was at this point that they’d started gathering the attention of everyone currently in (which, today, had been everyone except for Soonyoung, who was still out on a delivery across the city).

Seungcheol stared at him, “You don’t work delivery--”

“So?” Jeonghan said. “I don’t mind going--”

“You don’t, either,” Jun piped up. “I could run if I need to--”

Seungkwan was finally the one to speak up, “What are you talking about?”

For a moment, the three said nothing. If everyone got into this conversation, it’d be an all-out bloodbath, especially with Seungkwan taking part. Yet Wonwoo, who had been sitting nearby, enjoying his few minutes of rest after his own series of deliveries, looked up.

“Someone asked for a cute delivery guy, and they’re debating about it,” he shrugged, looking back at his phone--although the tiny smile on his face was still evident. The rotten fucker--

“I can go,” Joshua spoke up, as if he wasn’t literally working on your order alongside Mingyu. “Just gimme a sec, I’ll change shirts.”

Seokmin, who had been busy rolling out pizza dough, looked up. “Is this really a debate? I think we all know I’m the cutest one here...”

“Both of you work in the kitchens,” Seungcheol said, “you can’t leave.”

“All of us are in today, and it’s slow right now,” Chan said, already washing his hands of flour, ready to remove his apron in a moment. “You guys won’t miss me.”

“Who said you were going?!” Seungkwan whipped around, “If anyone goes, it should be me! Everyone who comes in tells points out how cute I am!”

Mingyu looked up, a cocky smile tugging at his lips. “Who gets asked out the most here?”

Silence. The motherfucker...

And then Minghao looked up. “They said cutest. Not hottest. Which eliminates all of you--”

“I’m very cute!” Seungkwan huffed, “That’s why it should be me.”

Vernon looked up from his phone, yet another delivery boy who probably should just take the order when it’s ready. “I dunno. I think I’m pretty cute. I could do it. Plus,” he shrugged, “kind of my job--”

“You’re hot and you know it,” Jeonghan spoke up. “Hao has a point. They requested the cutest guy--which means it’s down to Seungkwan, Chan, and I.”

Minghao scoffed, rolling up his sleeves. “Just you three?”

Mingyu had thrown an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders, dragging him from his quiet spot of observation straight into the conversation. “Jihoon should be included, too.”

“Oh? What if this person flirts with him?” Jeonghan chuckled. “They’re paying in cash and Jihoon would probably walk off without it.”

Jihoon’s face turned red. “I’m not that bad--”

“You almost did it last time you had to work the window.”

“They were too upfront!” Jihoon huffed, his face slowly turning red. “If they had said to you what they said to me, you’d run, too! That’s why Jun had to take over!”

“They said you had pretty eyes!”

Jihoon’s face burned with embarrassment. “It was the way they said it...”

As if in his own world, Jun quietly mused aloud, “I think I’m pretty cute,” as he continued looking over the order again.

“And if Jun’s cute, then I’m cute.” Joshua wiped his hands down his apron, turning back. “Jun, does the order say anything else?”

He shook his head. The only note you had put in was the note they were debating about now: send ur cutest guy, pls. Nothing more, nothing less. Hell, none of them even knew why you’d asked for their cutest guy. Was it a joke? Were you kind of desperate for something? Was this going to be the really bad intro to a porno? The questions persisted.

Seungcheol had been the one who pulled your pizza from the oven when it was time, boxing it up and carefully sealing it. “Who’s delivering it?”

Immediately, several people had volunteered.

He rolled his eyes. “Wonwoo, Vernon--”

“I’ll do it,” Seungkwan insisted further. “They asked for someone cute!”

Vernon raised his brows. “Dude, what the hell--”

“You know you’re hot, shut up.” Seungkwan turned. “If they want someone cute, then it’s only between a few of us. Not including Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan gasped, turning around as he pressed a hand to his chest. “I’m angelic--”

“That’s a lie and you know it!”

The bell chimed as Soonyoung made his way in, going completely ungreeted as the conversation continued. He looked to Wonwoo, who merely shrugged in exchange before watching as Minghao began to make the very well formulated argument that he was the cutest (his fairy-like giggle was direct proof, in his own words--the others called him cute all the time for it). Which caused Seungcheol to argue back that if he was including laughs as evidence, then his own could count because plenty of people found it endearing. Soonyoung said nothing, walking over to where the orders were as he began looking through them for another delivery since his break would come later tonight.

“I’m not saying your laugh isn’t cute,” Seungcheol said, “I’m saying you can’t use it as proof when all of us have cute laughs!”

“Some of you sound like a hyena,” Minghao rolled his eyes, “and some of you are too ‘hot’ to be cute! You talk about how handsome you are all the time--”

“Stop, you’ll make him pout,” Jeonghan chuckled from nearby, “and then he’ll really start insisting he’s the cutest of us.”

The bell chimed again, and Jun merely glanced up to see that it was only Soonyoung leaving. He turned back. “People tell me I’m cute. I’m carefree.”

“Childish cute doesn’t count,” Seungkwan said, lips pursed. “I’m cute because of my mannerisms.”

“The same mannerisms you get mad at Soonyoung for imitating,” Seokmin muttered under his breath, only to earn a deadly glare from Seungkwan. “You do!”

Wonwoo looked back down at his phone, wondering if he should have been recording this entire conversation. “I think I’m cute.”

“One of us has to go,” Joshua spoke up, “before their food gets cold. And I think I should do it because I’ll be the fastest--”

“Dude,” Vernon looked up. “I’m pretty fast on my bike.”

“It’s a bike, we’d all be fast  on it,” Minghao scoffed. “Why aren’t one of them doing it?” Minghao gestured toward Wonwoo and Vernon. “They’re the delivery boys!”

“Still on break,” Wonwoo said without looking up, “for another few minutes.” 

Seungcheol opened his mouth to say something--probably about how one of their breaks had already ended by now.

“Also, Soonyoung just left with it,” Wonwoo added casually enough.

Immediately, several pairs of eyes went to where the order had been left... and sure enough, it was gone.

And then chaos ensued, and Wonwoo hid yet another smile as he listened to several people bemoan that little factoid. Yet Soonyoung was pedaling away, completely lost as to what had gone down while he was gone.

(And when he showed up, bragging about the huge tip that you had given him while laughing about the fact the others had been arguing... Well. They knew what was going to happen the next time you threw in that special request.)

taglist: @twancingyunhao​ @synthetickitsune​ @gyulbabie​ @wonuziex​

[cyncerity]

HAPPY 3 YEARS TO THIS BLOG!! 🎉💕🫶

i’m so happy i’ve been a part of this little community for as long as i have. everyone is super nice and inspiring and unbelievably talented, and im so glad to be posting content with people like y’all.

it’s absurd to think i’ve been doing this for 3 years and that i almost have 800 people here seeing it, but the love and support i’ve received over these years has been incredible. given that this is such a small community and i’ve either spoken with most of you or have at the very least interacted with your content, i feel confident in saying that every single person here is incredible in their own right and truly are the reason i stay here. you guys are genuinely the best, even if i forget to answer your asks or sometimes leave you on read for a while (i do that with everyone i’m so sorry) i mean it when i say that i do consider a good portion of you my friends. even if it’s been a while since we messaged or talked, you’re all awesome. and if i don’t know you personally, please feel free to message me! i love making friends, especially in a community like this that has time and time again proven to have some of the genuinely nicest people on the internet <3

i love writing and drawing and i’m not leaving here for a long while yet. the asks i’ve received saying that i inspired people to write, draw, or post are some of the nicest things i’ve ever received, and i truly mean it from the bottom of my heart when i say that those have changed my life. the self confidence and love for my craft that i’ve gained from being here is immeasurable, and that’s thanks to all of you, whether you’ve been here for years or are new to this blog.

given that this is an anniversary thing, i wanna thank @bittydragon, @baka-monarch, @wendy130, @darkeninganon, and @awesome-slime-lover for introducing me to this community. i was stalking their blogs on google far before i had an account here, and i only made an account so i could send them fanart, so you have them to thank for dragging me here lmao

i also wanna tag @plant-gt-thought-box, @kayla-crazy-stuffs, @blurrybunnie, @apersonstories, @funtimemoth, @mysticalblue09, @corysmiles, @pixy-stix-art, + some others who are not on tumblr anymore for being friends with me and actually being some of the kindest and funniest motherfuckers. Ik i haven’t spoken to some of you in forever, and i hope this isn’t coming off as parasocial, but you guys are awesome and i wish you nothing but the best (and if you wanna message more or get on vc again some time please lmk cause i am a social wuss)

and if i’m gonna list people i might as well tag the people who even if i don’t know as well, are all super talented and leave me marveling at everything they post on here (whether or not you post mcyt g/t anymore, you’re all still incredible creators who make me want to improve my own work): @eyes-eye-eyes (my /p wife <3), @wren-writes68, @jkknight98, @arc852, @brick-a-doodle-do, @oh-i-need-a-name, @quotemenevervore, @melissa-s23, @i-am-beckyu, @random-tinies, @archaxwii, @itty-bitty-rainbow, @goosedawn, @beansthough, @make-a-memory, @aslitheryprinx, @avengerofsquids, @thatoneteadrinker666, @shushiyuii, @x-pair-o-dice-x, @jammanthejam, @trouble-off-grid, @lunar-but-little, @frickfrackiwastakingabath, @chequered-career, @bio-nerds-corner, @dingbatnix, @cottoncandythetrashpanda, @sprite-addicted-artist, @colossal-red, @sheena-yuet, @quackxolotl, @local-squishmallow, @nobodywritingao3, @deity-of-keys, @astraymetronome, @a-xyz-s, and tumblr has now told me that i’ve hit the max of 50 mentions so i will have to reblog this with the rest of you (crazy to think that there’s that many of y’all but i really do want to shout out everyone) (also if you’re one of these blogs that doesn’t post mcyt anymore and don’t want yourself associated with it, just lmk and i will remove your tag from my list, just know that your previous work in this community was admired and appreciated <3)

also can’t forget the anons and the followers that aren’t outwardly a part of this community (don’t have g/t blogs, don’t have mcyt blogs, or just don’t post in general). i’m lucky enough that i’ve never received hate from an anon before, everything you guys have ever sent is so nice and you also have great ideas! I am so sorry if it takes me forever to share those ideas publicly, but know that each of you are appreciated. and for my followers, i truly wouldn’t be anywhere without you guys, so thank you for supporting me <3

anyway, i might be getting over sentimental about all this, but 3 years is a long time, and over that time i’ve grown very attached to this little group of creators and i just wanted to let you know how loved and appreciated you are

💕💖🫶💕✨

[ruinofchimera]

Finally, someone had the guts to address this absurd circus around so-called ‘ugly’ characters in books. And look—I’m only human, so of course, I’m going to toss in a few logs of my own into this dumpster fire.

What I can’t—will not—ever stomach is the sheer audacity of some people to dictate how others should imagine characters. The nerve. It’s as if they’re so puffed up with their own sense of importance, so absolutely convinced that their view of the world is the gospel truth, that they feel entitled to impose it on everyone else. Well, let me save you some time—you’ll get nothing from me but a resounding ‘bloody sod off.’ Maybe try therapy if you’ve got that much pent-up energy.

The fandom debates on the matter of attractiveness—dear God, they’re relentless. The second a character’s ‘ugliness’ is even hinted at, the discourse spirals into some surreal parody of itself. And when it comes to Severus Snape, well, that’s where people have really outdone themselves. That’s where the madness truly reaches its peak. You’ve got one half of the fandom—rabid ATYD fanboys and fangirls, mostly—ready to pounce on any art or fancast that doesn’t fit their atrocious vision of Snape with the chant, ‘THIS IS TOO PRETTY TO BE SNAPE!’ And then you’ve got the other half of the fandom who take it upon themselves to issue a rallying cry for ugliness, as if they’re campaigning for some higher cause. ‘Don’t be afraid to picture Severus as ugly as he truly is. I prefer him that way,’ they say, as if they’re handing out some kind of badge of moral superiority for embracing ugliness.

Well, hold on a second—define ‘ugly’ for me, would you? While you’re at it, define ‘pretty.’ I’d love to see you try to box up something as subjective as human attraction into neat little labels. What do you mean he isn’t beautiful? Do you think there’s some universal truth about what constitutes beauty? Have you ever heard of this tiny thing called tastes?

Because here’s the reality: tastes vary. What’s pretty to one person is ugly to the next. Yet, somehow, these people have convinced themselves that conventional beauty is the only standard worth recognizing. It’s almost as if they’ve been so brainwashed by mainstream standards that they can’t comprehend any other version of reality.

And even when you do talk about conventional beauty, do you really think everyone’s swooning over the same faces? Take Ben Barnes, for example—an actor practically deified by parts of the internet. Do you think he’s universally adored? Brace yourself—because he’s not. There are people out there who think Barnes, despite all his fanfare, has a nose far too ugly for anyone’s liking. And guess what? That’s fine. Because beauty is subjective. It always has been; it always will be.

Yet, in fandoms, you’d think some people were personally appointed to enforce these ridiculous beauty standards, insisting that everyone must imagine the characters the only right way. Let me let you in on a secret: just because a narrator calls a character ‘ugly’ doesn’t mean jack. Writers, same as anyone else, have their own bloody preferences. Sure, they can project those tastes onto the page, but at the end of the day, it’s just that—tastes. Nothing more.

Now, take Snape. What do we actually know about his so-called ugliness? A large, hooked nose. That’s it. And from that, you want people to conjure up some grotesque, monstrous image? Give me a bloody break. Who even gets to decide what’s ‘large’ and what’s not when it comes to appearance? It’s subjective, like everything else in beauty. You like a nose that’s straight and button-sized, or maybe you prefer someone who’s practically noseless, like Voldemort? Well, good for you. I’m not here to judge. But do me a favor—keep your pristine, perfectly upturned little nose and your narrow standards of beauty out of my business.

And here’s the funny thing—the absolute hysteria over Snape’s greasy hair. You’d think the guy walked out of a swamp the way people go on about it. But guess what? There are plenty of characters with greasy hair that fans are practically wetting themselves over. Need an example? Loki Laufeyson. That’s right—the Loki. The man’s got exactly the kind of lanky, greasy hair that should, by your standards, render him disgusting. Yet, somehow, there’s a whole legion of fans swooning over him like he’s some fallen god of beauty. Suddenly, greasy hair is mysterious and sexy.

Let’s not forget—Loki is played by none other than Tom Hiddleston, whose appearance is hardly what you’d call ‘conventional.’ He’s not some pretty boy with chiseled features, and yet, there’s no shortage of people who are ready to kneel at the sight of him. So, what happened there? Where’s all the hand-wringing over his greasy locks? Oh, that’s right—there isn’t any. How inconvenient for you and your narrow-minded standards of beauty. It’s almost as if your little squeaks about ugliness are soaked in nothing but shallow, prejudiced nonsense.

Beauty isn’t about ticking off boxes on some checklist of features society has deemed acceptable. It’s personal, subjective, and as varied as human taste. If all you can get behind is some cookie-cutter version of aesthetics, then by all means, live your bland little life. But don’t you dare try to impose that on the rest of us. You don’t get to dictate how others picture characters, just like you don’t get to decide what’s ugly. Beauty’s a wild, unpredictable thing—and it’s about time people stopped trying to cage it with their narrow ideas of what it should be.

[suzukiblu]

I just wanted to say I think you're really cool in the way you defend your own boundaries while also trying to see the best in people (e.g. off-topic Wednesday asks / etc.). Like you make your ask box feel like it's okay to ask questions or not worry too much about how something might come off wierdly if it's read a certain way but also you don't let people walk over you, and that balance is a fucking skill which takes effort and work.

Thank you. 🧡 I definitely do go to a lot of effort to be clear about certain things I'm cool/not cool with while also assuming the best of people's intentions if I ever get comments or questions that are phrased poorly or seem . . . well, questionable, to make an unintentional pun there, haha. I just don't wanna start shit that doesn't need started or slather bad vibes all over some poor well-intentioned random soul who just doesn't have the most immediately up-to-date/informed language or certain experiences to inform their perspective, AND all over all of your dashes on top of that. Like, we were all confused about shit and awkwardly attempting to figure out what the magic question that would explain that shit to us was at SOME point in our lives, if nothing else. You gotta remember your internal stupid kid and how bad they wanted to figure shit out without having the tools for it!! You just gotta!!!!

Like, I literally did not realize gay and bi people were a thing until I was FOURTEEN, man, I just did NOT have that context/experience as a kid. And then, like, four months later I was . . . uhhhhh I'm pretty sure literally the first kid who was publicly out in my entire very tiny "quaint lil' small town full of well-off retirees with gorgeous lawns and literally nothing for a teenager to do outside of school" high school, and at least as far as I ever knew there wasn't another one until my friggin' senior year. And I didn't figure out what asexuality was OR my gender identity until I was in my thirties, despite actively TRYING to figure those out! I just didn't know! I didn't have the word for it for so long I didn't even GET it was a thing that should have a word!

Though to be honest, I really do get way, WAY more people worrying that they're overstepping and preemptively apologizing about it than I ever do people who are actually doing anything I'd personally consider to be overstepping, and I get even fewer people who are INTENTIONALLY overstepping on top of that. Like, I've been very lucky in the audience I've managed to snare/cultivate in my internet times, I very rarely encounter anyone coming into my inbox in bad faith. "Don't like/don't read" seems to be generally respected and I appreciate it, basically, hah.

Also, like, not to get too extra or serious here, but a lot of the reason I write fanfic is because it can contain a lot of things that standard publishing is less immediately open to releasing--like, especially back when I started, it was just NOT a thing to have explicitly queer kids in mega-popular mainstream YA series or all that much gender/racial/neuro diversity past, like, token presences that were at MOST only diversity-CODED half the time anyway and "didn't like labels". And like, that bugged me a LOT as a kid and as a young adult, and still kinda bugs me sometimes these days. I wanted, you know, that SEEN feeling, and I didn't want to only get it from hyper-niche genres/authors that were only writing about being queer and sad about it. I wanted that shit in my dang sci-fi and fantasy and all the FUN stuff, not just, you know, the tragedy-porn cautionary tales. So I want people who are reading my stuff to feel that way, even and ESPECIALLY when they're some totally different flavor of whatever we are from me, and so I REALLY try to be inclusive and welcoming and assume the best of people, at least to the best of my ability.

. . . okay I got kinda carried away with this answer, maybe, haha, but tl;dr: literally everyone has got enough bullshit going on in their lives, I can at least be nice about weird kinks and random gender/mental/physical/???? issues that I don't always necessarily understand the full nuances of on the internet.

[jayflrt]

as a confused person, i ask you this question.

why do you support palestine? like, gaza started the war didn't they? israel is only defending itself, and suddenly when they're losing the war, palestine is playing the helpless victim role when they aren't innocent angels. like i saw a video of them hanging their own children, tiny tiny babies, outside their windows to safeguard their homes. why should i support people like that?

islam pretends to be a religion of peace when it actually is the only religion that i know which is so violent like, the quran justifies objectification of women and promotes violence against them, and it is said in quran that it is okay to kill people who refuse to convert.

so why support them when they aren't doing any good to society, instead, are only being harmful?

first of all, let me correct you that this isn't a war, this is a GENOCIDE. a war would mean equal footing, but this is clearly an ethnic cleansing and settler colonialism. second of all, gaza didn't start anything. gaza is a city. and no, israel is a settler colony who began their colonization of palestine 74 years ago, destroying 540+ palestinian towns and keeping 7.2 million palestinians as refugees to continue their occupation on land they stole. i don't know what you mean by "suddenly losing" because palestine has been oppressed by israel for years on end now. and "playing the helpless victim role"? since october 7th, gaza's death toll has surpassed 30,000. you think they're playing victim?

as for your accusation that they're hanging children and babies to safeguard their homes, i could only find this 💀 does your accusation even make sense to you? israel is dropping bombs on buildings and you think a child's body is gonna protect their homes against explosives?

also i haven't read the quran but even the bible has the same concepts taken out of context like that which will not make sense to you unless you read the context around it. i am not religious at all but if you really want to understand the quran then have these conversations with muslim people. there are almost 2 million muslims in the world and you think they all believe in objectifying women and killing those who don't follow their religion? there are even parts in the bible you won't agree with, but are you demonizing an entire religion for their religious text? either way, israel is colonizing palestine over land, not religion (edit: forgot to mention this but saying islam is the only religion you know to be violent is insane considering christians started the crusades against muslims)

palestinians are cut off from the internet, cut off from clean water and food, and barely have working hospitals. they can't even use anesthesia for the life-threatening operations they have to do. you see children with limbs blasted off in the media every day and you still have the audacity to come into my ask box and ask me why i'm supporting palestine?

disrespectfully, go fuck yourself and get off my blog if you support israel

[i-spaced-sorry]

New traditions

A/N: this is a fic that came out of the fact that I've never been to a pumpkin patch (even though ive scoured the Internet and polled people on best pumpkin patches to visit) but I did recently bought some pumpkins at the grocery store. I was thinking about what if Y/N was use to go to a pumpkin patch and had to adjust to buying them at the grocery store where the size options are limited. How would her brothers handle that. And thus this was born!

"why can't we go to a pumpkin patch?" Whined Y/N. 

Sighing, Jay replied, "because between me working, Will doing overtime shifts, and you in school, there is just no time. Now do you want the $2 tiny pumpkin pie pumpkin or do you want the $5.75 giant jack-o'-lantern pumpkin?" 

You thought about it, even went so far as picking the tiny one up and then attempting to pick the giant one up before sighing, "the pumpkin patch would have had all types of sized pumpkins, not just 2 sizes"

Getting irritated but knowing it was your first October post your dad dying, Jay tried to not hold your hang up over a tradition against you.

"Tell you what, if you pick one I'll make sure instead of getting a half gallon of apple cider we'll splurge and get a whole gallon and we can force Will into watching Hocus Pocus with us." 

You begrudgingly agreed and grabbed the tiny pumpkin from the cardboard box.

That night, Will got home from work and immediately went to change. When he left to shower, Jay looked at you and stated, "look I know it's not ideal that we couldn't go to a pumpkin patch and I'm so sorry for that. But my friends from work were kind enough to send over some sweet treats and pumpkin patch essentials so that while we carve pumpkins and watch Hocus Pocus we can create a new tradition."

You looked up excited to know what was brought! 

Jay handed you the bags full of goodies and you began unloading them on the living room table.

"Candy corn!" You exclaimed! 

Pulling another item out of the bag you squealed, "Jay! We got candy apples!" 

Looking from his spot on the couch, Jay replied "I see that. I think that was from Hailey." 

You set the candy apples aside and pulled out a carving set, looking at Jay you pondered, "who got this?" 

Taking the set from you Jay thought to himself before stating, "if I tell you, you gotta keep it a secret, ok?" 

"Ok!" You nodded.

"Sergeant Platt. She heard you were having a hard time with the fact you couldn't go to the pumpkin patch and she decided to throw in this carving set that is complete with stencils" 

You gasped, "just like at the pumpkin patch!" 

"Just like at the pumpkin patch" agreed Jay.

When Will got back from his shower, you guys popped popcorn, threw the candy corn into the bowl, heated up some cider in the microwave, turned on the movie and began carving your pumpkins.

"Jay, think fast!" Exclaimed Will and before Jay had anytime to react a chunk of pumpkin guts complete with seeds flew at his face. 

"Dude, gross" exclaimed Jay while grabbing paper towel to wipe his face.

All you could do was just laugh. "Will, is that why Jay makes you pull the guts out of the pumpkins? Cause he thinks the insides are gross?" 

Laughing, Will replied, "that and because Y/n/n, our brother is a certified germ-a-phobe." 

Jay just grabbed some popcorn and instead of eating it threw it in Will's general direction.

That's how the rest of the night went, your brothers teasing each other, you enjoying carving pumpkins and watching spooky movies and just overall enjoying your time with your brothers.

That night when Jay put you to bed, he was about to shut your door when you popped your head up and said, "Jay Jay, I'm really sorry about how I acted at the store today." 

Jay turned to look at you, "I'm glad you can see the way you were acting wasn't good. But I'm also sorry for hearing you but not listening to you" 

You smiled and stated "that's okay, I had a lot of fun tonight anyway and think it was better than the pumpkin patch!" 

"Good night Y/N"