#not internet as in the people in this tiny box

[wrong-directions]

Dear Internet, I hate you.

I am attention deficit and you, Internet, are an attention-eating monster waiting to swallow me whole.

But I have to risk being devoured now because you have my partner and my friends somewhere inside you.

F*ck you, you silicon sh*t-bag.

[medicinemane]

.

[pickingupmymercedes]

Ways to say "I love you" part 2 - Lewis Hamilton

I think we all deserve a little something after the horror we went through in today's race ❤️

warnings: mentions of blood, accidents and bit of angst

wordcount: +2k

important: again, each drabble was writen as a snippet into different moments with Lewis. Special thank you for my 💗 anon for helping with some of the ideas

As always, my asks are open for corrections, ideas and just to chat too!

Over a cup of tea

“We need to talk this through, before it blows in our faces, Lewis” Serious expression on your face as you handed him the cup of tea on the balcony of your apartment overlooking London.

“Mhmm, we do?” He questioned confused.

“Yes…what exactly are we?” You couldn’t look him in the eye as you questioned him, too embarrassed you weren’t sure if what you felt the night before was real, even if come the morning he was still there, as he had been for the past two months.

“Those words last night meant nothing to you?”

“They meant the world, actually”

“But you don’t feel the same?” The confusion now passed on to him, forehead scrunching as he questioned if he hadn’t read your relationship right, and your body responding before your head could think it through as you reached for the hand he willingly let you take.

“I… I need to feel safe to say it back.” You responded after a few awkward seconds of silence as he waited for your response.      

“I want you, if you’ll have me. I really do love you. And you don’t need to say it back now, just let me know if this relationship is for real, because I want it to be.” He said looking into your eyes, anxiously waiting until you lifted your head to give you a smile.

“Thank you for understanding” You said buried into his neck as you took the tea away from his hands and brought him closer.    

Over a bottle of wine

“Found board games!” You excitedly exclaimed as you walked back into the house. Tiny feet stomping away and reaching you in seconds.

“Is there Monopoly? Uncle Lew said we could be here for daayssss” Willow was the first one to start taking the boxes as you handled her and Kaiden the pile you had just borrowed from the nearest neighbor

“Are they still stuck in New York?” You asked Lewis just as he set his phone down.

“Earliest forecast is tomorrow night, possibly” a concerned look to him as his mom and sisters got stuck in a snow storm on their way from England to Colorado.

“Guess we have these two to ourselves then”  

“Granny said it’d be good practice for you to take care of us” Kaiden chirped in but not fully aware of the shock in Lewis’ face at the remark.

“It’ll be fun when there’s two more girls to play with” This time Willow getting you to choke on the water you were drinking.

“Why two girls?” Lewis amusedly asked, aware you were still trying to hold the laughter in the kitchen

“Dunno” She simply shrugged as she helped her brother set up the game.

“Two girls, huh?! You know people say I’m a girl dad…” He brought back the subject as he picked up the mess left in the living room, a glass of wine open on the kitchen counter and two glasses already in your hands as you approached him after putting the kids to bed.  

“I think I’d be happy with that” Your soft smile easing the tension you felt in him as he mentioned kids with you for the first time, handing him his glass and dragging him to sit down on the sofa for a bit.

“I think I’d prefer a boy then a girl, you know, so he could be there for her.” He said after a bit of silence, almost as if he was pondering what would be best order, and you could feel the yearning to have kids of his own in his voice.  

“I agree with the internet people on that one, you’re too much of a girl dad, babe” You set your drink on the side table, cuddling closer to his chest as he pondered on his glass.

“Doesn’t really matter, honestly, just one would be more than enough. As long as I got you too”

As an apology

“What the hell was THAT for?” You threw your handbag and phone all the way across the kitchen island as you looked at Lewis standing at the door, an annoyed look to him.

“That guy shouldn’t have approached you” His mind still on the tall blue-eyed dude that tried to buy you a drink at the club.

“I can handle myself you know?! Never had the need for a knight in shining armor…” all your anger gone as you realized how absurd that sounded when said to your knighted boyfriend, a smile cracking the tough face you were fighting hard to keep.

“I love you, okay?! You may not need to be saved from a monster but you’re gonna have a knight by your side regardless.”

Taking the cue, he reached for you and brought you close by your waist, tucking one side of your hair behind your ear while using his other one to caress your check.

“Yes sir.” His sweet eyes turning into dark one as he heard you whisper the title and felt your hands rummage through his back. 

As a hello

You smelt his cologne before he walked back into the room from the bathroom, woody and citric tones overcoming your senses as a light tug at your exposed breasts demanded your attention back.

“Hey darling, you done there? Sure you don’t anymore?” The little fingers of your month-old baby girl clutching your fingers as you softly redirected her small mouth back to the spot her eyes wildly looked for.

“Gosh, I love you two so much” His remark a common occurrence in your daily routine in the bubble of nappies, changes and feeds your lives had turned into those past weeks, in the dead of the cold but sunny winter in Monaco.

“Hello to you too, hot stuff” he smiled back as you checked his toned abs adorned by the towel in his waist, sitting by your side in the headboard of your bed, hands caressing your thighs.

“You sure you’re going to be okay here this weekend?” Concern written all over his features as he stroked your daughter’s tiny legs.

“Your mom’s here, my mom’s here, we’re gonna be just fine Lew.” His eyes searching for any doubts in your mind.   

“I’m only a call away, okay?!” He whispered as he kissed your head, enjoying the last moments he would have with his little family for a few days before yet another season began. 

With a shuddering gasp

It’s funny how time really is relative, you thought as you slowly watched four cars pile onto each other in a traffic jam that had just about three other cars in front already. You weren’t even paying attention to the road before, only really looking up from your phone when your car suddenly swerved right and hit the grass on the side of the road.

“Are you okay y/n?” His whole body hovering over yours, hands already unbuckling your seatbelt as Lewis tried to grab your attention.

“C’mom babe, we need to get you out of the car, now” He tried again but you couldn’t respond back, still in shock from the near miss, your hands a wobbly mess as he squeezed it.

“I’m carrying you outside, okay?!” He didn’t even wait for a reply before lifting you like you weighed nothing, examining you in the process to check for anything hurt while he carried you to the rest of people waiting by the road.

It took a while, more than a few minutes for your eyes to start focusing back on your surroundings. He was knelt right in front of you, worry all over as he asked again and again if you were hurt.

“You saved us” You gasped quietly as your eyes finally reached his, his hands cupping your face the second he heard you, your lips already on his as you felt his arms taking you into his body.

In a letter

You’d been, since the beginning, the one he wanted, comings and goings through the years hadn’t been able to diminish the electric pull he felt whenever he saw your smile light up the room, even from afar. But as if the universe liked having a laugh at their expenses, time and time again you’d both find your lives going in complete opposite directions. So, as he sat in his desk writing his vows, he could only be amazed that by some miracle he had found his way into your life and into your heart.

“ … So, I vow to be your lover, companion, partner and ally. Through what may I promise to always be there. I might not have the answers or tools but I’ll walk with you, through the darkest of valleys or at the summit of our dreams.

I love you for you, because you give me the chance to be my truest self, because when you’re around I know we’ll find our way through. I love you, and from the moment I learned that, I’ve been giving it my all to be worthy of you.”

When the broken glass litters the floor

“Fuck, why did I do that?” Your exclamation coming out a bit louder than expected as your eyes started to water from the sharp pain in your hand, blood already dripping from the gush on the palm as you looked to the pieces of the glass on the floor.

“Babe? What’s happened, what was that noise?” His voice coming from just outside the bathroom door, fidgeting with the lock to try and get in.

“Please, let it be a good timing” Was all you could whisper to yourself, the knot in your throat almost suffocating you, the reality of it all too much to comprehend or process, your feet automatically swerving the glass and blood on the floor to get to the door.

“I hope you don’t have anything important going on in the next months” you said just as his eyes tried to scan you and the bathroom. His features with confusion all over as you handled him the stick with the 2 lines on them.

“What’s… but the doctor said…really?” You watched as all types of emotion tumbled across his eyes, overwhelmed an understatement to what you both felt at that moment.

You nodded just slightly after a few moments of his eyes questioning yours, the start of a smile forming on his lips as his arms reached you and engulfed you in a hug, crashing your injured hand in the process.

“Ouch, hand” He froze as you winced, putting two and two together, looking to the blood and the remains of the glass and seeing the injure on your palm for the first time.

“I do hope this kid takes after you and isn’t as clumsy” You pointed as he sat you down at the tub to check the cut. His smile reaching all the way to his eyes as he chuckled and looked at you.

“Nah, I hope this kid is every bit just like you.”

With no space left between us

You could feel his movements as he opened the parachute and brought you two back down to safe land, but nothing managed to tear your eyes from the immensity of the sky. There was infinity as long as your eyes could see and you were nothing in comparison, your thoughts long lost to the smallness of human race.

“You were awfully quiet up there, you good?” His voice a bit dry from the wind, your bodies tightened together as the guys got you both out of the mess of ropes.

“I think I’m still processing how small we really are” You answered almost to yourself, still trying to comprehend what you had just experienced.

“Another go at tandem is due then?” You saw the smirk in his face as you turned to look at him, his arms still very much wrapped around you and his fingers circling in your forearm.

“Thank you for dragging me out here, but how did you know I’d like skydiving?!” You reached back to his arms while they strapped you out of the seat, holding him closer, still with the ghost feeling of the wind around.

“I love you… that’s how I knew you’d love it.” He said to your hair as he held you to him, smug face as he reveled in the feeling of you.  

From very far away

The speakers blasted the victory song as each of the three drivers on the podium sprayed champagne around, everyone drenched and smiles thrown left and right, laughs being heard all the way around the Monza podium.  

As Lewis stood by the edge of the platform, he lifted his trophy at the sea of Tifosi, as a way to show appreciation for the support so far on the season and at his new home race, dedicating his win to them.

Turning to the pitlane he also pointed his trophy to the Ferrari team, scanning the crowd he found you at, just by Fred and Anthony, tears flowing down and a gleaming smile that could light up his entire soul. You tried mouthing something to him but he couldn’t quite make it out in the overwhelming state you were all in.

“I love you” he said to you, from the top of the podium, knowing that whatever it was you were saying, and whatever it was that happened, could be answered and resolved with those three words.

[hardwareabstractionlayer]

(the post editor malfunctioned and after a series of unfortunate events the original ask post is gone, so I had to make this screenshot mockup of the ask, sorry)

Thank you for prodding me to finish up a draft that's been sitting there for an inexplicably long time.

I will divide puns into exact homophones, which are pronounced exactly the same, and near homophones, which consist of the same phonemes with different tones. Though exact homophones are much punnier in speech, Internet jokes rely heavily upon text input and most people use phonetic-based Chinese input systems, meaning their autocompletes will often suggest near homophones and people will use them if they're funny enough.

To make this slightly statistically sound and not just me making up random puns, I grabbed 700k viewer comments from the years NiF was available on Youku, 2015 to 2020 (courtesy of danmu box). These danmu/弹幕 comments are timed to a particular moment in the show so they splash across the screen while you watch.

Let's start with the heavy hitters:

Xie Yu/谢玉 is an exact homophone of xièyù/泄欲, literally discharging desire, which means satisfying one’s lust or orgasming. Xie Yu's name occurs 5000+ times in the comments versus almost 900 orgasms.

Prince Yu/誉王 is an exact homophone of yùwáng/欲王, meaning prince of lust, and a near homophone, of yùwàng/欲望, which means desire (or the chaotic evil penis). The latter is far more likely to be autocompleted and shows up 1500+ times versus 200+ for the prince of lust.

Yùjīn/豫津 is a near homophone of yùjìn, 欲禁, or forbidden lust/abstinence. Because bath towel/浴巾 is an exact homophone and again far more likely to come up first in autocomplete, people overwhelmingly refer to him as the towel. In the comments, bath towel is used nearly 7000 times, 10x more frequently than his actual name, which is made up of two not-super-common characters.

Mei Changsu is often addressed as Su-xiong/苏兄 by Jingrui and Yujin in canon, which is an exact homophone of sūxiōng/酥胸, a literary term for supple and beautiful breasts that might have the same old-fashioned connotation as heaving bosom does in English. I'm going to call him gorgeous tits because he does bear a striking resemblance to the azure tit:

I've seen Chinese MCS fans note this resemblance before, but these birds don't have titillating names in Chinese so you can have this bonus joke for English speakers. Anyways, gorgeous tits are invoked in nearly 6000 comments versus almost 1200 for Su-xiong itself.

Now you can enjoy one of the comments from the above screenshot exclaiming over these names:

浴巾裹着酥胸，泄欲，这都什么什么 a bath towel (yujin) wrapped around gorgeous tits (su-xiong), orgasming (xie yu), what is all this

And the following off-color joke retold many times throughout the episodes:

Why is Mei Changsu called Su-xiong and not Mei-xiong? Because he has gorgeous tits, not tiny ones (Méi-xiōng/梅兄 is an exact homophone of flat-chested/没胸).

Here are some rarer-but-still-good puns:

Gōng Yǔ/宫羽 is a near homophone of gòngyù/共���, bathing together (cue viewer comments about how she and bath towel belong with each other).

Níhuáng/霓凰 is a near homophone of nǐhuáng/你黄, slang meaning you’re perverted.

The emperor lives in Yǎngjū Hall/养居殿, a near homophone of penis hall since yángjù/���具 is the yang implement, though it's most popularly punned with pigpen (I wrote about this here if you scroll to the end).

The travelogue Mei Changsu wrote annotations in, 翔地记, is an exact homophone of xiángdìjì/降帝记, or records of subduing the emperor (which I can only interpret as MCS’s Dom Diaries on how to conquer Jingyan).

To conclude, here’s a stacked area chart of the four horsemen of punny NiF names and how often they're spammed:

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

I got a good idea, what if the reader became aware that the bsd characters are self aware. So they stop reading and watching it, and playing the game because they think their hurting the characters.(this would happen before the bsd characters got into our world)

I am aware that you are aware

Self-Aware! BSD Characters x GN! Reader

Description: You liked BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan game. So many features, so many cards and story up to fourth season. You still baffled, that the game not that popular.

Why others think that your new cards is a fanart? Why people tell, that you can't get multiple SSR tickets from Marble Shining? Why The Internet tell, that game only describes two seasons and part of Dead Apple? And why people can have different nicknames in game, isn't it supposed to be your real name?

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

🐾 You just wanted to show, how lucky your pulls were in current scouts "Casino - Rats in the house of the Dead" and "Casino - Decay of Angels"

🐾 You made a screenshot of 2821 Fyodor D. "Casino", 3711 Pushkin "Casino", 5243 N. Gogol "Casino" and 1638 Sigma "Casino"¹ and post it on BSD Mayoi Subreddit.

🐾 You got comments. Lots of comments, praising the fanart... Or asking, why did you post an April Fools' joke now, not on First of April?

🐾 Fanart? Joke? What do they mean? It wasn't a fanart, it's an official card! You clearly remember doing a daily free 11-scout! And getting them!

🐾 But, a tiny seed of doubt appears in your soul. Was it possible, that so many people didn't get the cards? Or... Didn't see the scout?

______

🐾 Next strange thing happened, when you Shine the Marble for Ranpo. For this week it was a Campaign "10 shines for one click". The Marble Turned prismatic, and you exchange it for SSR Scout Ticket. Well, for a few SSR Tickets. You got lucky again and win "Detective Chance". A familiar phrase appeared in a text box near Ranpo's chibi:

"Great Job, [Y/N]! You deserve a little bonus! Let's collect more cool marbles later!"

🐾 You smiled. It was cute.

🐾 Unfortunately, one of your fellow students saw everything you were doing.

🐾 And they blamed you for playing a hacked game.

🐾 You snarled at them. If they are playing BSD Mayoi and were unlucky with Marble Shining today, it's not your fault. You aren't cheating. Besides, they were looking on your phone screen without your permission. And what if you were texting some private information during that?

🐾 They spat at you, mumbling something about 'there is no marble campaign right now' and 'never they gave you five tickets for a marble'.

🐾 They were rude, yes. They were in the wrong by looking at your phone screen. But... They won't gain too anything by lying. Especially, to you. You also play BSD Mayoi, you could check.

🐾 Could you?

🐾 You didn't notice, that chibi Ranpo opened his eyes. And his look wasn't the friendliest.

🐾 The next day you learned, that yesterday's student got some serious private information leaked. Something about blackmail and stealing other students projects. They will face some trouble.

🐾 ... Quite an interesting coincidence...

_______

🐾 You don't know, what made you do it, but, when your grandma asked you to download an app, that will remind her taking her medication, you decide to look up BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan game in app store.

🐾 Different icon. Not yours. Different screens. And comments...

🐾 Asking, when third season will be added... For more Fyodor cards... For adding Gogol cards... Asking for a Dead Apple Scout rerun... That was up last time almost five years ago.

🐾 This comment was from two days ago. But, Dead Apple Scout was just one month ago! You got Dazai's, Fyodor's and Shibusawa's cards!

🐾 They were wrong! Or... You were wrong...? Or no one was wrong.

🐾 You download necessary apps for your grandma.

🐾 And start thinking.

_______

🐾 You spend two hours in the library, using the university's computer.

🐾 Search information about BSD Mayoi in any language you could think of.

🐾 Online translators might not be the most accurate, but they let you understand the main idea.

🐾 There was no more story in game outside The Dragon Head Conflict. And the situation didn't change for years.

🐾 Aya, Rimbaud, Flags, Adam, Verlaine, Karma, Katai, Oda's orphans, Pushkin, Goncharov, Oguri, Gogol, Sigma, Tetchou, Teruko, Fukuchi, Jounou and Bram didn't have any cards on any server. And Tachihara didn't have a Hunting Dogs version of his card.

🐾 Some Scouts didn't have a rerun for ages.

🐾 Marble Exchange can give you one SSR Ticket for Max Level Marble.

🐾 There were never Junchirou's menu with daily recipes. Or Katai's menu with tips for keeping your phone safe. Or Mori's with fashion tips.

🐾 Devs never gave away SSR Cards as present for Maintenance end.

🐾 Characters never send notes with gifts to Players, thanking them.

🐾 Players could choose any nicknames, not their real names.

🐾 Either you get a special version of an app... Or... Characters were... But, it's impossible, right?

🐾 Were there any way for you to prove it?

______

"I love BSD for using small Easter eggs for people, who liked literature. But, I wish, they would do it more often. For example, real-life Junchirou Tanizaki and Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald were friends! They even play shogi together. And in BSD Tanizaki and Francis are barely interacting with each other."

After you finish talking with your friend, Ango immediately rushed to get the camera, and Junchirou and Francis start to set a scene. Tomorrow you will get a card you want! Card, that reflects their other world counterparts.

[Next Day]

"Oh! SSR card with Fitzgerald and Junchirou playing shogi? And it's called "Old friends"? Good... So Devs knew about that... story..."

Your voice sounded... Off. And Little Light trembled for some reason.

"Story, that I made up two days ago to test my theory. You... All of you can hear me, right?"

BSD Cast feel, like they were struck by lightning. They wanted to make a surprise to you and reveal, that they are self-aware, only when they got into your world.... Well, doesn't matter, they could try to speak to you, now...

Why are you crying? Who have hurt you?

Your voice were pleading. You sobbed.

"I am sorry! I am sorry for not realizing it sooner! I am sorry for every hit you got, when marble hit spikes or poison, or when enemies hit you! I am sorry, for reading about your lives, for learning your secrets without permission! For... Making you relive your lives... And for... Hurting you... Killing you..."

At the end, you were hysterical. You were the reason for Rimbaud's, Flags', Oda's, his kids', Gide's and Shibusawa's death. You were the reason, they got hurt. You howl, remembering that time, Kunikida lost his arms.

"I am sorry! I am sorry! I am so sorry!"

BSD Cast were in distress. You misunderstood the situation! They weren't angry! They liked you and will never hate you!

But with next words their world shatter.

"I... I won't read about your lives anymore. Or watch about it... I... won't play the game anymore... I won't delete it, because I am not sure, if this won't hurt you... I am sorry!"

You close the app.

Little Light fall on a floor, sobbing.

_____

Few days later you got an email from yourself. And from them.

"Dear [Y/N],

Please, listen to us. You didn't hurt us in any way! We aren't angry, we promise! You... Your love and understanding let us through our darkest times. We were lost, confused, we didn't know who we are. But you, you were here. You treat us and our emotions like we were real for you.

Please, open the app... We add chat, we want to talk to you.

BSD cast"

You re-read the letter a few more times. Then again. And again.

After some thinking, you opened the app.

______

You were chatting for a long time. You asked about how they became self-aware, what were happening, when you read new chapters. You asked about deceased ones, whose cards you got (you have never been happier in your life, after learning, that they were alive. Because of you). You asked if they felt pain, when they loose HP in game.

And BSD Gang asked you about your life, your interest, if they can add something else in the app that you need.

And about wanting to get into your world. About wanting to live in reality. And be your friends.

You have a feeling, that it was a beginning of something unique.

______

🐾 You keep your decision about not watching and reading BSD. They weren't characters anymore. They were real people.

🐾 You also stopped cleaning Battle Stages in Mayoi. Instead, you were chatting with the gang.

🐾 Slowly but surely you learned more about each other.

🐾 So, when they finally appeared in your world, you greet them like old friends.

______

¹ Something interesting about numbers:

2821 - "The Gambler" by Dostoevsky was the author's 28th work. And it was written in 21 days, because Dostoevsky lost all money he had by gambling and need money as soon as possible.

3711 - In "The Queen of Spades" by Pushkin the winning combination in the card game were three, seven and ace (considered 11 in some games and in the novel)

5243 - "The Gamblers" play by Gogol was played on stage for the first time in 1843, on 5 of February.

1638 - Year, when the first Casino in Europe was open.

[ofmermaidstories]

there’s something so bittersweet and lovely about fanfic, at it’s core. it’s so impermeable, because it’s so individual. fics don’t get finished. fics get lost because they were typed out and sent to friends, in the 70s, and somewhere along the way someone packed it up in a cardboard box and their kids shuffled it to the attic. websites go down. archives get built, but then people lose faith in the story or the canon or the creator and delete them. you read it at like, 3am, and can’t remember the title months later when you look for it again.

the tiktok these comments are from was lamenting about the loss of a favourite fic—it (the tiktok) had 85k+ likes, and over 700 comments, mostly similar to these. people talking about downloading fics to read on a tablet only for them to disappear the next day. using the wayback machine and combing through results, just to find something they loved. i think it’s sweet because it’s so human—how easily we love something, and how easily we lose it. i used to print out my favourite fics, as a kid—i still have a binder of them, buried under yearbooks and the old journals i kept during those topsy turvy preteen years. i could tell you the overarching plot to a Cardcaptor Sakura fantasy AU i read (and loved; it became my personality for months afterwards) but i can’t remember how it ended, or if it even did. i finally broke down and signed up for an account on AO3 specifically to bookmark an old, old fic that i had read somewhere else, years and years and years ago and found again on AO3 only because i accidentally stumbled on the author here on tumblr (i had only found the fic in the first place all those years ago because of a playlist). i used the same shade of lipstick for years purely because a fic i really liked had the main character apply it (it was a limited edition one at the time; i bought my first one from a ebay seller in the UK at double the retail price, lmao) while the love interest watched them, but i can’t remember the name of it, only how it made me feel (and how, for years afterwards, i would wear that shade whenever i felt like the day had something promising to it).

one of the first anon’s i ever got, in the early days of this tumblr, was someone who asked me if it was okay if they downloaded surrender—and of course it was. of course it is. there was a point, during the final stretch when i was trying to write the last chapter, that i almost lost the entirety of what i had written for that fic—and i mean, it was on AO3 by that stage so it would’ve only set me back a chapter or so, but it goes to show how fragile things can be. how sometimes fics only last in tiny ways—because of the unfinished PDF file someone downloads. The patchy memory of someone’s who’s jumbling it and three other fics together. Because someone wore the same shade of lipstick you mentioned, off-hand, for years afterwards.

(this is a love letter to the silent readers; the silent savers. the lurkers. fandom and the internet at large is made of lurkers (eighty-five thousand likes. seven hundred comments). people who saved fics and waybacked them and will reread them, even uncompleted. telling each other we did a good job, that we liked this or we liked that is wonderful, and fun, and a great (and important) way to build a community and has also given me my current friends—but sometimes something you make will matter and live on in a way you will never, ever know. and it’s just how it is. it’s part of the fun and it’s part of the charm. it’s just how we work as people.)

[kazoosandfannypacks]

Could u draw when penumbra from ducktales 2017 is shrunk down permanently and can’t be normal sized again and has to live the rest of her life as a tiny moon warrior goddess while webby takes care of her

You know what? I'm going to say something in response to this that I haven't said to a fanart request in a very long time: No.

No.

I don't usually like denying requests. I like the challenge of drawing something I wouldn't think to draw. I like drawing some favorite characters. I like making other people happy.

But honestly? I'm just tired of all this at this point.

Last week, you asked me for a fanart. And then you sent me the same ask five times, some of them even after I told you I recieved your ask and was working on the drawing. And you dm'd me about it. And after I responded to your sixth ask about it and told you it was in the queue, you asked how long until I'd post the drawing.

It seemed clear that you were excited about it. And yesterday I posted it. Where did that excitement go? Did it funnel into a reblog so all your followers can see the art I drew specifically for you? Did you respond with a comment, even just a "thx," or a dm or ask (since you're so fond of those) to show your appreciation? Did you even give me a like to show my efforts to please you were not in vain?

No.

Instead, you rushed right back to my ask box to make another request. Within twelve hours of recieving the art you'd begged so tirelessly for, you sent me four asks requesting another art, a more detailed one. Some of them don't even ask. They just demand.

What do you think an artist is? Is it simply a machine that lies idle until someone makes a request, then kicks into high gear, spits out a drawing at you, and then goes inactive until it gets another request? Do you think they delete every ask they get in their inbox, then go "oh, no, I've forgotten this drawing, if only someone had requested it seven more times!" Do you think we exist solely to supply your demand and respond to your every whim?

I'm an artist. I love drawing things. And embroidery. And painting. And making moodboards. And editing videos. And gifmaking. And writing. And poetry. And bracelet making. And baking. I love art.

But I also love my job. That's right, I work a real job in between drawing things for free for strangers on the internet. And I like to spend time with my family. That's right, I have family, and we have a good relationship, and I enjoy spending time with them. And I enjoy going to church and volunteering and working with kids and playing games and going shopping and driving to work and talking with my friends and watching tv and eating meals. And I do things I don't enjoy, too, like clean the bathroom, fold laundry, do dishes, clean my room. I am an artist. But I am also a human.

And I am a human who does not have time to keep responding to or deleting multiple asks begging for the same thing. I am a human who does not have time to make art on demand only to turn around and have even more art demanded of me without so much as even acknowledgement of the art I made. Not only do I not have time to do these things, I don't like to do them. I don't like being pestered by strangers to make art I don't want to make. I don't like not receiving recognition for my work. And I don't like to have to be the bad guy and set boundaries when someone is treating me like dirt.

I'm a human. I am not a robot. I am not a content-making machine. I have never once been a proponent of ai generated art, but you make me stop to consider if maybe it's a good thing that it exists, just so that no human artist has to deal with people like you who think they're entitled to our time.

Of course, I am still against ai "art," especially because there's something even better that you can do in order to get exactly the art you want: instead of yelling at a plagarism algorithm or harassing a tired human, just pick up a pencil and a piece of paper and draw it yourself.

You have an idea. You know exactly what you want it to look like. You can capture your vision in a way no one else can. Trace screenshots if you think you "can't" draw. Or just keep trying until you're good. That's what I did. That's what all of us artists did. We kept at it until we got good at what we did. Behind the fanart that you spent a week pestering me about because you were impatient is literal decades of practice that I put into my craft. It might be good for you to try it out for yourself, too.

And to everyone reading this and thinking "oh, no, maybe kazzy has had enough and I shouldn't request art from her and I was a horrible person" or anything along that lines: please do not think that for even a second!

I love art requests. I love when someone looks at my art, says, "I would love to see more art like this!" and asks me to draw something they love. It's a HUGE honor! And I do have a LOT of fun drawing things and stepping out of my artistic comfort zone, and I love every single person who sends me an ask for my drawing challenges. I love when you guys ask for characters I've never drawn before. I love that I don't have to worry about art block because I've got a well-stocked tumblr inbox. I love the service you guys provide in requesting art and helping me hone my practice. I even love when one of you sends multiple requests for a drawing challenge! You mean you like my work enough to ask me for multiple things you love? That's an honor!

Thank you all for all your art requests; they've helped make me the artist I am today!

And also. It doesn't really matter if you reblog. I love reblogs, and, yeah, I get a little disappointed when people don't reblog requests from me, but at the end of the day, your blog is your blog. You don't have to reblog everything I make you. You don't have to comment on it all. You don't even technically have to leave a like on all of it. As an artist, I just love to create things. But as a human? It's nice to recieve that validation.

(Especially with requests for incredibly specific things. There are a lot of people who will reblog my art in various fandoms, especially character or ship art, but sometimes the more niche stuff recieves less love. Which is fine! Fandoms are under no obligation to like every art they see! But I know from experience that when people request incredibly specific art that caters only to them, and they have very few reblogs on their blog of anything at all, I'm about to pour a piece of my soul into making something that is about to go unloved. And after a while, that kind of stings.)

The Tl;dr here? I'm not a fan of people who don't treat artists like humans, but I love nothing more than creating art for people who appreciate it.

[dearweirdme]

Sweet suffering christ on a bike, misogyny is a hatred and prejudice against woman. We can all agree on that, right? Tae using the phrase "be my girlfriend" to express how he likes jungkooks cooking so much he wants to be in a relationship with him so he can cook for him all the time (really spelling it out here 😮‍💨) is not misogyny.

Does using the word girlfriend stem from the fact that he (like, I dunno 90% of the world?) was brought up in a patriarchal society that sticks to strict gender roles? Sure. Does it probably also stem from the fact that he was raised for and cooked for in his formative years by women? Sure. Do these strict gender roles and a well documented homophobic society play a part him not chosing the word boyfriend? Sure. All these factors play a part. Can misogyny manifest itself in these places, of course, and it does, patriarchal systems are inherently sexist. But Taehyung does not hate women and him asking Jungkook to be his girlfriend does not make him a misogynist. (Surprisingly, not the wildest sentence I've written this year)

Hyper fixating on something blown out of proportion purposely by people (jikookers) who hate Taehyung to his core is really, really depressing. It feels like a tiny box of fries all over again. The majority of people who raised this in the first place couldn't give a flying fuck about the issues of women's rights, rampant misogyny in Korean culture etc, they just look for any angle to dogpile on Taehyung.

Conversations on misogyny, gender roles, patriarchal societies and how to dismantle all our internalised prejudices are too big and too important to be having in these spaces, especially where the majority of the people who are trying to engage in the conversation do so in bad faith just to score fake internet points against rival shippers.

Hi @charjube!

Yes! Thank you for laying it out so clearly!

[wooahaes]

out for delivery

pairing: none? non-idol!svt with a mention of gn!reader

prompt: that one post i made about reader asking for them to send their cutest delivery guy

genre: comedy. this is just silly stuff teehee

word count: 1.4k~

warnings: food mentions. svt arguing about who is the cutest. i didnt proofread this at all btw its just supposed to be silly goofy fun.

daisy’s notes: this has been in my drafts for over two months.

Junhui was the one who read off your order to the others, only to stop when he saw the special instruction in the delivery spot: send ur cutest guy, pls. 

Of course, being someone with access to the internet, Jun had heard of this kind of thing before. People who throw in instructions like that for fun, or people who ask for things to be drawn on their to-go boxes (he always did those when they popped up--his art skills might not be perfect, but he can draw a little cat saying ‘enjoy your food!’ any day), or sometimes the occasional message from someone to another (the ‘person loves you’ or ‘person says to get well soon’ kind of deal). But this? Here? Well...

“Which one of us is the cutest?” He mused aloud, catching Jeonghan’s attention as he stepped away from the kitchen to wipe the sweat off his brow.

“What?”

Jun nodded toward the screen and your specific instruction. “They asked for a cute delivery guy. Who’s working today?”

Jeonghan paused, musing on the question. “Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Vernon,” he listed off, although he continued to wrack his brain to see if that Namjoon guy was in as well. Nah--Maybe on the weekend when they’re busier and need the extra hands, but three already is kind of overkill as it is.

(Not that any of them are complaining, that is: they’re still getting some sort of payment for all of this.)

“It doesn’t say cutest delivery guy,” Jeonghan said. “Just our cutest guy.”

Seungcheol looked up from his clipboard as he came back, brow raised. “Me?”

Jeonghan scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Obviously, I’m the cutest one here. I’ll make it.”

It was at this point that they’d started gathering the attention of everyone currently in (which, today, had been everyone except for Soonyoung, who was still out on a delivery across the city).

Seungcheol stared at him, “You don’t work delivery--”

“So?” Jeonghan said. “I don’t mind going--”

“You don’t, either,” Jun piped up. “I could run if I need to--”

Seungkwan was finally the one to speak up, “What are you talking about?”

For a moment, the three said nothing. If everyone got into this conversation, it’d be an all-out bloodbath, especially with Seungkwan taking part. Yet Wonwoo, who had been sitting nearby, enjoying his few minutes of rest after his own series of deliveries, looked up.

“Someone asked for a cute delivery guy, and they’re debating about it,” he shrugged, looking back at his phone--although the tiny smile on his face was still evident. The rotten fucker--

“I can go,” Joshua spoke up, as if he wasn’t literally working on your order alongside Mingyu. “Just gimme a sec, I’ll change shirts.”

Seokmin, who had been busy rolling out pizza dough, looked up. “Is this really a debate? I think we all know I’m the cutest one here...”

“Both of you work in the kitchens,” Seungcheol said, “you can’t leave.”

“All of us are in today, and it’s slow right now,” Chan said, already washing his hands of flour, ready to remove his apron in a moment. “You guys won’t miss me.”

“Who said you were going?!” Seungkwan whipped around, “If anyone goes, it should be me! Everyone who comes in tells points out how cute I am!”

Mingyu looked up, a cocky smile tugging at his lips. “Who gets asked out the most here?”

Silence. The motherfucker...

And then Minghao looked up. “They said cutest. Not hottest. Which eliminates all of you--”

“I’m very cute!” Seungkwan huffed, “That’s why it should be me.”

Vernon looked up from his phone, yet another delivery boy who probably should just take the order when it’s ready. “I dunno. I think I’m pretty cute. I could do it. Plus,” he shrugged, “kind of my job--”

“You’re hot and you know it,” Jeonghan spoke up. “Hao has a point. They requested the cutest guy--which means it’s down to Seungkwan, Chan, and I.”

Minghao scoffed, rolling up his sleeves. “Just you three?”

Mingyu had thrown an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders, dragging him from his quiet spot of observation straight into the conversation. “Jihoon should be included, too.”

“Oh? What if this person flirts with him?” Jeonghan chuckled. “They’re paying in cash and Jihoon would probably walk off without it.”

Jihoon’s face turned red. “I’m not that bad--”

“You almost did it last time you had to work the window.”

“They were too upfront!” Jihoon huffed, his face slowly turning red. “If they had said to you what they said to me, you’d run, too! That’s why Jun had to take over!”

“They said you had pretty eyes!”

Jihoon’s face burned with embarrassment. “It was the way they said it...”

As if in his own world, Jun quietly mused aloud, “I think I’m pretty cute,” as he continued looking over the order again.

“And if Jun’s cute, then I’m cute.” Joshua wiped his hands down his apron, turning back. “Jun, does the order say anything else?”

He shook his head. The only note you had put in was the note they were debating about now: send ur cutest guy, pls. Nothing more, nothing less. Hell, none of them even knew why you’d asked for their cutest guy. Was it a joke? Were you kind of desperate for something? Was this going to be the really bad intro to a porno? The questions persisted.

Seungcheol had been the one who pulled your pizza from the oven when it was time, boxing it up and carefully sealing it. “Who’s delivering it?”

Immediately, several people had volunteered.

He rolled his eyes. “Wonwoo, Vernon--”

“I’ll do it,” Seungkwan insisted further. “They asked for someone cute!”

Vernon raised his brows. “Dude, what the hell--”

“You know you’re hot, shut up.” Seungkwan turned. “If they want someone cute, then it’s only between a few of us. Not including Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan gasped, turning around as he pressed a hand to his chest. “I’m angelic--”

“That’s a lie and you know it!”

The bell chimed as Soonyoung made his way in, going completely ungreeted as the conversation continued. He looked to Wonwoo, who merely shrugged in exchange before watching as Minghao began to make the very well formulated argument that he was the cutest (his fairy-like giggle was direct proof, in his own words--the others called him cute all the time for it). Which caused Seungcheol to argue back that if he was including laughs as evidence, then his own could count because plenty of people found it endearing. Soonyoung said nothing, walking over to where the orders were as he began looking through them for another delivery since his break would come later tonight.

“I’m not saying your laugh isn’t cute,” Seungcheol said, “I’m saying you can’t use it as proof when all of us have cute laughs!”

“Some of you sound like a hyena,” Minghao rolled his eyes, “and some of you are too ‘hot’ to be cute! You talk about how handsome you are all the time--”

“Stop, you’ll make him pout,” Jeonghan chuckled from nearby, “and then he’ll really start insisting he’s the cutest of us.”

The bell chimed again, and Jun merely glanced up to see that it was only Soonyoung leaving. He turned back. “People tell me I’m cute. I’m carefree.”

“Childish cute doesn’t count,” Seungkwan said, lips pursed. “I’m cute because of my mannerisms.”

“The same mannerisms you get mad at Soonyoung for imitating,” Seokmin muttered under his breath, only to earn a deadly glare from Seungkwan. “You do!”

Wonwoo looked back down at his phone, wondering if he should have been recording this entire conversation. “I think I’m cute.”

“One of us has to go,” Joshua spoke up, “before their food gets cold. And I think I should do it because I’ll be the fastest--”

“Dude,” Vernon looked up. “I’m pretty fast on my bike.”

“It’s a bike, we’d all be fast  on it,” Minghao scoffed. “Why aren’t one of them doing it?” Minghao gestured toward Wonwoo and Vernon. “They’re the delivery boys!”

“Still on break,” Wonwoo said without looking up, “for another few minutes.” 

Seungcheol opened his mouth to say something--probably about how one of their breaks had already ended by now.

“Also, Soonyoung just left with it,” Wonwoo added casually enough.

Immediately, several pairs of eyes went to where the order had been left... and sure enough, it was gone.

And then chaos ensued, and Wonwoo hid yet another smile as he listened to several people bemoan that little factoid. Yet Soonyoung was pedaling away, completely lost as to what had gone down while he was gone.

(And when he showed up, bragging about the huge tip that you had given him while laughing about the fact the others had been arguing... Well. They knew what was going to happen the next time you threw in that special request.)

taglist: @twancingyunhao​ @synthetickitsune​ @gyulbabie​ @wonuziex​

[cyncerity]

HAPPY 3 YEARS TO THIS BLOG!! 🎉💕🫶

i’m so happy i’ve been a part of this little community for as long as i have. everyone is super nice and inspiring and unbelievably talented, and im so glad to be posting content with people like y’all.

it’s absurd to think i’ve been doing this for 3 years and that i almost have 800 people here seeing it, but the love and support i’ve received over these years has been incredible. given that this is such a small community and i’ve either spoken with most of you or have at the very least interacted with your content, i feel confident in saying that every single person here is incredible in their own right and truly are the reason i stay here. you guys are genuinely the best, even if i forget to answer your asks or sometimes leave you on read for a while (i do that with everyone i’m so sorry) i mean it when i say that i do consider a good portion of you my friends. even if it’s been a while since we messaged or talked, you’re all awesome. and if i don’t know you personally, please feel free to message me! i love making friends, especially in a community like this that has time and time again proven to have some of the genuinely nicest people on the internet <3

i love writing and drawing and i’m not leaving here for a long while yet. the asks i’ve received saying that i inspired people to write, draw, or post are some of the nicest things i’ve ever received, and i truly mean it from the bottom of my heart when i say that those have changed my life. the self confidence and love for my craft that i’ve gained from being here is immeasurable, and that’s thanks to all of you, whether you’ve been here for years or are new to this blog.

given that this is an anniversary thing, i wanna thank @bittydragon, @baka-monarch, @wendy130, @darkeninganon, and @awesome-slime-lover for introducing me to this community. i was stalking their blogs on google far before i had an account here, and i only made an account so i could send them fanart, so you have them to thank for dragging me here lmao

i also wanna tag @plant-gt-thought-box, @kayla-crazy-stuffs, @blurrybunnie, @apersonstories, @funtimemoth, @mysticalblue09, @corysmiles, @pixy-stix-art, + some others who are not on tumblr anymore for being friends with me and actually being some of the kindest and funniest motherfuckers. Ik i haven’t spoken to some of you in forever, and i hope this isn’t coming off as parasocial, but you guys are awesome and i wish you nothing but the best (and if you wanna message more or get on vc again some time please lmk cause i am a social wuss)

and if i’m gonna list people i might as well tag the people who even if i don’t know as well, are all super talented and leave me marveling at everything they post on here (whether or not you post mcyt g/t anymore, you’re all still incredible creators who make me want to improve my own work): @eyes-eye-eyes (my /p wife <3), @wren-writes68, @jkknight98, @arc852, @brick-a-doodle-do, @oh-i-need-a-name, @quotemenevervore, @melissa-s23, @i-am-beckyu, @random-tinies, @archaxwii, @itty-bitty-rainbow, @goosedawn, @beansthough, @make-a-memory, @aslitheryprinx, @avengerofsquids, @thatoneteadrinker666, @shushiyuii, @x-pair-o-dice-x, @jammanthejam, @trouble-off-grid, @lunar-but-little, @frickfrackiwastakingabath, @chequered-career, @bio-nerds-corner, @dingbatnix, @cottoncandythetrashpanda, @sprite-addicted-artist, @colossal-red, @sheena-yuet, @quackxolotl, @local-squishmallow, @nobodywritingao3, @deity-of-keys, @astraymetronome, @a-xyz-s, and tumblr has now told me that i’ve hit the max of 50 mentions so i will have to reblog this with the rest of you (crazy to think that there’s that many of y’all but i really do want to shout out everyone) (also if you’re one of these blogs that doesn’t post mcyt anymore and don’t want yourself associated with it, just lmk and i will remove your tag from my list, just know that your previous work in this community was admired and appreciated <3)

also can’t forget the anons and the followers that aren’t outwardly a part of this community (don’t have g/t blogs, don’t have mcyt blogs, or just don’t post in general). i’m lucky enough that i’ve never received hate from an anon before, everything you guys have ever sent is so nice and you also have great ideas! I am so sorry if it takes me forever to share those ideas publicly, but know that each of you are appreciated. and for my followers, i truly wouldn’t be anywhere without you guys, so thank you for supporting me <3

anyway, i might be getting over sentimental about all this, but 3 years is a long time, and over that time i’ve grown very attached to this little group of creators and i just wanted to let you know how loved and appreciated you are

💕💖🫶💕✨

[ruinofchimera]

Finally, someone had the guts to address this absurd circus around so-called ‘ugly’ characters in books. And look—I’m only human, so of course, I’m going to toss in a few logs of my own into this dumpster fire.

What I can’t—will not—ever stomach is the sheer audacity of some people to dictate how others should imagine characters. The nerve. It’s as if they’re so puffed up with their own sense of importance, so absolutely convinced that their view of the world is the gospel truth, that they feel entitled to impose it on everyone else. Well, let me save you some time—you’ll get nothing from me but a resounding ‘bloody sod off.’ Maybe try therapy if you’ve got that much pent-up energy.

The fandom debates on the matter of attractiveness—dear God, they’re relentless. The second a character’s ‘ugliness’ is even hinted at, the discourse spirals into some surreal parody of itself. And when it comes to Severus Snape, well, that’s where people have really outdone themselves. That’s where the madness truly reaches its peak. You’ve got one half of the fandom—rabid ATYD fanboys and fangirls, mostly—ready to pounce on any art or fancast that doesn’t fit their atrocious vision of Snape with the chant, ‘THIS IS TOO PRETTY TO BE SNAPE!’ And then you’ve got the other half of the fandom who take it upon themselves to issue a rallying cry for ugliness, as if they’re campaigning for some higher cause. ‘Don’t be afraid to picture Severus as ugly as he truly is. I prefer him that way,’ they say, as if they’re handing out some kind of badge of moral superiority for embracing ugliness.

Well, hold on a second—define ‘ugly’ for me, would you? While you’re at it, define ‘pretty.’ I’d love to see you try to box up something as subjective as human attraction into neat little labels. What do you mean he isn’t beautiful? Do you think there’s some universal truth about what constitutes beauty? Have you ever heard of this tiny thing called tastes?

Because here’s the reality: tastes vary. What’s pretty to one person is ugly to the next. Yet, somehow, these people have convinced themselves that conventional beauty is the only standard worth recognizing. It’s almost as if they’ve been so brainwashed by mainstream standards that they can’t comprehend any other version of reality.

And even when you do talk about conventional beauty, do you really think everyone’s swooning over the same faces? Take Ben Barnes, for example—an actor practically deified by parts of the internet. Do you think he’s universally adored? Brace yourself—because he’s not. There are people out there who think Barnes, despite all his fanfare, has a nose far too ugly for anyone’s liking. And guess what? That’s fine. Because beauty is subjective. It always has been; it always will be.

Yet, in fandoms, you’d think some people were personally appointed to enforce these ridiculous beauty standards, insisting that everyone must imagine the characters the only right way. Let me let you in on a secret: just because a narrator calls a character ‘ugly’ doesn’t mean jack. Writers, same as anyone else, have their own bloody preferences. Sure, they can project those tastes onto the page, but at the end of the day, it’s just that—tastes. Nothing more.

Now, take Snape. What do we actually know about his so-called ugliness? A large, hooked nose. That’s it. And from that, you want people to conjure up some grotesque, monstrous image? Give me a bloody break. Who even gets to decide what’s ‘large’ and what’s not when it comes to appearance? It’s subjective, like everything else in beauty. You like a nose that’s straight and button-sized, or maybe you prefer someone who’s practically noseless, like Voldemort? Well, good for you. I’m not here to judge. But do me a favor—keep your pristine, perfectly upturned little nose and your narrow standards of beauty out of my business.

And here’s the funny thing—the absolute hysteria over Snape’s greasy hair. You’d think the guy walked out of a swamp the way people go on about it. But guess what? There are plenty of characters with greasy hair that fans are practically wetting themselves over. Need an example? Loki Laufeyson. That’s right—the Loki. The man’s got exactly the kind of lanky, greasy hair that should, by your standards, render him disgusting. Yet, somehow, there’s a whole legion of fans swooning over him like he’s some fallen god of beauty. Suddenly, greasy hair is mysterious and sexy.

Let’s not forget—Loki is played by none other than Tom Hiddleston, whose appearance is hardly what you’d call ‘conventional.’ He’s not some pretty boy with chiseled features, and yet, there’s no shortage of people who are ready to kneel at the sight of him. So, what happened there? Where’s all the hand-wringing over his greasy locks? Oh, that’s right—there isn’t any. How inconvenient for you and your narrow-minded standards of beauty. It’s almost as if your little squeaks about ugliness are soaked in nothing but shallow, prejudiced nonsense.

Beauty isn’t about ticking off boxes on some checklist of features society has deemed acceptable. It’s personal, subjective, and as varied as human taste. If all you can get behind is some cookie-cutter version of aesthetics, then by all means, live your bland little life. But don’t you dare try to impose that on the rest of us. You don’t get to dictate how others picture characters, just like you don’t get to decide what’s ugly. Beauty’s a wild, unpredictable thing—and it’s about time people stopped trying to cage it with their narrow ideas of what it should be.

[suzukiblu]

I just wanted to say I think you're really cool in the way you defend your own boundaries while also trying to see the best in people (e.g. off-topic Wednesday asks / etc.). Like you make your ask box feel like it's okay to ask questions or not worry too much about how something might come off wierdly if it's read a certain way but also you don't let people walk over you, and that balance is a fucking skill which takes effort and work.

Thank you. 🧡 I definitely do go to a lot of effort to be clear about certain things I'm cool/not cool with while also assuming the best of people's intentions if I ever get comments or questions that are phrased poorly or seem . . . well, questionable, to make an unintentional pun there, haha. I just don't wanna start shit that doesn't need started or slather bad vibes all over some poor well-intentioned random soul who just doesn't have the most immediately up-to-date/informed language or certain experiences to inform their perspective, AND all over all of your dashes on top of that. Like, we were all confused about shit and awkwardly attempting to figure out what the magic question that would explain that shit to us was at SOME point in our lives, if nothing else. You gotta remember your internal stupid kid and how bad they wanted to figure shit out without having the tools for it!! You just gotta!!!!

Like, I literally did not realize gay and bi people were a thing until I was FOURTEEN, man, I just did NOT have that context/experience as a kid. And then, like, four months later I was . . . uhhhhh I'm pretty sure literally the first kid who was publicly out in my entire very tiny "quaint lil' small town full of well-off retirees with gorgeous lawns and literally nothing for a teenager to do outside of school" high school, and at least as far as I ever knew there wasn't another one until my friggin' senior year. And I didn't figure out what asexuality was OR my gender identity until I was in my thirties, despite actively TRYING to figure those out! I just didn't know! I didn't have the word for it for so long I didn't even GET it was a thing that should have a word!

Though to be honest, I really do get way, WAY more people worrying that they're overstepping and preemptively apologizing about it than I ever do people who are actually doing anything I'd personally consider to be overstepping, and I get even fewer people who are INTENTIONALLY overstepping on top of that. Like, I've been very lucky in the audience I've managed to snare/cultivate in my internet times, I very rarely encounter anyone coming into my inbox in bad faith. "Don't like/don't read" seems to be generally respected and I appreciate it, basically, hah.

Also, like, not to get too extra or serious here, but a lot of the reason I write fanfic is because it can contain a lot of things that standard publishing is less immediately open to releasing--like, especially back when I started, it was just NOT a thing to have explicitly queer kids in mega-popular mainstream YA series or all that much gender/racial/neuro diversity past, like, token presences that were at MOST only diversity-CODED half the time anyway and "didn't like labels". And like, that bugged me a LOT as a kid and as a young adult, and still kinda bugs me sometimes these days. I wanted, you know, that SEEN feeling, and I didn't want to only get it from hyper-niche genres/authors that were only writing about being queer and sad about it. I wanted that shit in my dang sci-fi and fantasy and all the FUN stuff, not just, you know, the tragedy-porn cautionary tales. So I want people who are reading my stuff to feel that way, even and ESPECIALLY when they're some totally different flavor of whatever we are from me, and so I REALLY try to be inclusive and welcoming and assume the best of people, at least to the best of my ability.

. . . okay I got kinda carried away with this answer, maybe, haha, but tl;dr: literally everyone has got enough bullshit going on in their lives, I can at least be nice about weird kinks and random gender/mental/physical/???? issues that I don't always necessarily understand the full nuances of on the internet.

[jayflrt]

as a confused person, i ask you this question.

why do you support palestine? like, gaza started the war didn't they? israel is only defending itself, and suddenly when they're losing the war, palestine is playing the helpless victim role when they aren't innocent angels. like i saw a video of them hanging their own children, tiny tiny babies, outside their windows to safeguard their homes. why should i support people like that?

islam pretends to be a religion of peace when it actually is the only religion that i know which is so violent like, the quran justifies objectification of women and promotes violence against them, and it is said in quran that it is okay to kill people who refuse to convert.

so why support them when they aren't doing any good to society, instead, are only being harmful?

first of all, let me correct you that this isn't a war, this is a GENOCIDE. a war would mean equal footing, but this is clearly an ethnic cleansing and settler colonialism. second of all, gaza didn't start anything. gaza is a city. and no, israel is a settler colony who began their colonization of palestine 74 years ago, destroying 540+ palestinian towns and keeping 7.2 million palestinians as refugees to continue their occupation on land they stole. i don't know what you mean by "suddenly losing" because palestine has been oppressed by israel for years on end now. and "playing the helpless victim role"? since october 7th, gaza's death toll has surpassed 30,000. you think they're playing victim?

as for your accusation that they're hanging children and babies to safeguard their homes, i could only find this 💀 does your accusation even make sense to you? israel is dropping bombs on buildings and you think a child's body is gonna protect their homes against explosives?

also i haven't read the quran but even the bible has the same concepts taken out of context like that which will not make sense to you unless you read the context around it. i am not religious at all but if you really want to understand the quran then have these conversations with muslim people. there are almost 2 million muslims in the world and you think they all believe in objectifying women and killing those who don't follow their religion? there are even parts in the bible you won't agree with, but are you demonizing an entire religion for their religious text? either way, israel is colonizing palestine over land, not religion (edit: forgot to mention this but saying islam is the only religion you know to be violent is insane considering christians started the crusades against muslims)

palestinians are cut off from the internet, cut off from clean water and food, and barely have working hospitals. they can't even use anesthesia for the life-threatening operations they have to do. you see children with limbs blasted off in the media every day and you still have the audacity to come into my ask box and ask me why i'm supporting palestine?

disrespectfully, go fuck yourself and get off my blog if you support israel

[solradguy]

I saw your post about the Internet Archive and Archiving GG stuff for future Generations and i wanted to ask some stuff regarding the Archiving, i hope thats ok

Probably the dumber question but do you know if Daisuke has ever been involved in the Archiving of his series? I know the series started as a Passion project for him but Idk how active he would be with helping archive or fill in missing pieces, especially in the english world.

Just as a General question, are current online archiving groups mostly relying on being connected to one another in some way to reestablish fallen sources? Since very little of the internet if any is as stable as we like to believe and any service storing data may shut down somehow any day like Drive, when one host site does go down do the archivists rally together and find a new spot or do you kinda have to hope people can find the new host?

Also are there any larger scale Archivist groups someone with less ability to physically help could donate to to help preserve our online histories?

thank you and apologies if you dont like questions

Hello! Questions are fine ^^ Sometimes it takes me a million years to reply, but I don't mind them.

My answer to this got kinda long. Excuse the readmore.

We don't have any strong evidence either way what the condition of the official Arc System Works library of Guilty Gear media is like, but there have been a few times where the images they've used for things have been worse than the images us rogue archivists have. This ML illustration is definitely one they either no longer have the physical/original piece for, or they might not have a way to rescan it, because the file they use when they reproduce it is pathetically tiny. Example from the Steam release of Strive's bonus Digital Artbook:

Compared to other illustrations in the same book (two pages here):

This Ky from the website for the 20th Anniversary Pack release of Missing Link for the Switch was taken from the Guilty Gear Bible:

We know this because... He's on page 12 in the Bible and...

...they didn't erase the page number off his shoe.

So, at the very least, some Missing Link era works are likely gone/lost/destroyed/etc. It's possible some GGX thru GGXX artworks are lost too, but we don't have a concrete catalog of XX works because they never released a complete artbook for XX. It's also rumored that Keep The Flag Flying's original master file is lost but I've never been able to find a source for that. Daisuke has never reached out to any of us about our image archives and we've never offered.

Archiving is very much a western concept and it's a common thought in Japan that saving copies of another person's works is extremely bad; I've been chewed out and blocked by Japanese fans for it. It's just a cultural difference, I don't take it personally. If ASW contacts us about it though we'll definitely give them our files or take down anything they request of us. We don't want to poke the bear and risk the entire archive if we can. They seem to be turning a blind eye to our archives though, as long as it's not an upload of something extremely recent (I got DMCA'd for the Strive Artworks Archive scans).

The core of the Guilty Gear archive group works on the new GG wiki and/or are admins of the new wiki, so we're in pretty close contact with each other. Most of the archive is in my hands and, unfortunately, my hands alone. With the announcement of the Internet Archive v Hachette ruling, we've been planning on making copies of my GG archive hard drive and sending it out to the other archivists in our circle. I don't have a PO box, I can't do this for people outside the group because I don't want my physical home address to be that accessible.

That said, there are redundant digital copies of a lot of files and I have a backup hard drive of the main GG archive drive; the main drive is a relatively new 2tb Western Digital My Passport external drive and the backup is a 1tb WD My Passport that's a little older. A lot of people have downloaded copies of the files currently online (via my masterpost) and can reupload something if it goes down even if I'm not around to do it. We rely on Archive.org a lot but aren't against using Dropbox, Google Drive, mega.nz, Neocities, file.garden, or, if we absolutely must, Discord. I do not like relying on Discord and Discord files are generally extremely temporary.

The files that aren't in the archive include software or game asset rips, image files, music, and random bits and bobs. I'm working on getting the images up on the wiki but everything else is kind of in a weird zone where I don't really know what to do with it.

As for donating to support broader archivism: We use Archive.org (and their Wayback Machine) the most, so donating to them would benefit both the GG archive as well as hundreds of thousands of music, literature, research, and art groups too. Their donate page can be found here: https://archive.org/donate?origin=iawww-TopNavDonateButton

Supporting your local libraries, museums, and conservatories also supports archivism. Most of these places accept public donations of any amount and could probably direct you to other local archiving groups/associations.

Donating to Wikipedia also supports broader archivism to a lesser extent. They write about events as they happen, with sources/citations, and older versions of this information is permanently available on every article and file without having to rely on things like Wayback Machine. Their donation page is here: https://donate.wikimedia.org

I also have a donation page via Ko-fi and any money donated with a note about it being for Guilty Gear will go back into Guilty Gear (via book/magazine purchases for scanning, usually). Donating to one of the above groups would be better for archiving as a whole though. My page can be found here: https://ko-fi.com/somnivagrious

Hope this answers your questions!!

[fayes-fics]

Thank you 🫶

I’ve just reopened to fic requests, so I won’t do a drabble celebration, but I will take this moment to give gratitude. To you all. This tiny corner of the internet means a lot to me. 🫶

Thank you to everyone who has followed me. It means so much. I write for you guys and I’m so humbled and privileged this many people care to read my nonsense.

I also can’t believe that in 8 days (May 13th) it will be exactly two years since I posted my very first fanfiction right here on Tumblr - Sonnet #29. Yup just a few days before s3 premieres! It’s certainly been an adventure since then lol!

My ask box is always open for feedback, Q&A or chat. Anon is fine. I love to interact with people should they wish to.

Anyway, thanks for reading and for interacting. Much love 😁🧡🧡

[momma-pixel]

I Must Speak But Don't Have The Words

[TW: Suicide] When: 1988 Where: Playground, Kindergarten Situation: Little Me strongly and firmly believes that if I antagonize the girls and make them chase me then when I get caught they'll turn me into a girl like them as punishment. Apparently boys will be boys.

When: 1989-1994 Where: My bed, every night / Home Situation #1: I prayed to god every night to let me wake up as a girl. Situation #2: Caught wearing my sister's panties a few times, said it was because I couldn't find my own underwear. Situation #3: Constantly asked to help with yard work, would prefer to help in the house. Told that's women's work, what are you a girl, stop being lazy.

When: 1993-1995 Where: Home / Hospital Situation: General moodiness and angst, aches and pains. Breasts and hips are forming. Why parents? You're fat (I wasn't). Get confused for a girl out in public, parents force me to cut my hair and go on a strict diet. Doctor says I only have one testicle but also wants to run chromosome and hormone tests. Parents balk at cost. Surgery to find a missing testicle. I prayed to god, for the last time, to have the doctors turn me into a girl. They find a testicle slightly smaller than a marble, it's atrophied.

When: 1996 - 2000 Where: High School / Home Situation #1: Fell in with the punk and goth crowd. Had friends. Learned about the world at large thanks to them (and this new thing called the internet!). Discovered I was Bisexual. Learned the term 'transsexual'. Boom, head blown. Female bestie opens her arms, heart, and closet doors to me. Wearing black lipstick, black nail polish, eyeliner. Parents hate me. Wanted my ears pierced, dad said it was for girls and fags. In an argument about something dumb my mom calls me a cocksucker - I quipped that at least I was getting dick, flipped my hair, and walked away...we didn't speak to each other for a month. Situation #2: Attempted suicide twice. Both attempts failed right before they would have succeeded thanks to some spectacular reverse-final destination shit. Parents blamed my friends, my books, and anything else they could. Boyfriend jokes it's because god is scared of me after ignoring my prayers for so long and needs time to come up with an alibi.

When: 2001 - 2005 Where: Therapist's Office Situation #1: Asperger Syndrome (to be changed much later to Autism), Depression, Transsexualism. Do this thing called a Real Life test. Standards too rigid, too high, failed test. Situation #2: Final suicide attempt. Lots of counseling, meds, and restrictions.

When: 2010 - Present Where: New State of Being/Mind/Residence Situation: Grabbed life by the gooch and made it my bitch. Found new therapist, learned about myself more, began fixing myself, started a proper transition.

I never knew the words needed to express my mental anguish and emotional turmoil. They were concepts in my mind colored with prismatic abstract thoughts. My world was a tiny box with the only things allowed in governed by my parents. I wanted so badly to say to someone, anyone, that I was in pain and needed help but didn't know how. Even today I still have trouble putting words to thoughts - as an example, this post alone has already taken an hour to write.

For any of you out there struggling to talk about your changes, your transitions, your mental state of you, take this advice - there are words out there for you! Take your time to craft them as purposely and gently as possible. Some people will kick up at them and try to break them, but they are your words and you made them. They can't be broken, they can't be sullied or tainted. Those words were crafted by hand with love (for yourself) and perseverance (for a better tomorrow) by the best craftsmen in the world: You.