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givehimthemedicine · 29 days ago

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time for my big lumax rantpost. I used to be way more of a shipper but upon reexamining some of my GA-era assumptions, I'm here to tell you why it sucks, and why I don't look forward to lumax endgame if it's the same lumax we've been getting.

lumax has fantastic potential, but needs lots of work to actually become the ship most of the fandom thinks it is.

I get the sense most on here consider lumax ST's darling perfect ship which is sullied by weak and/or racist writing. while I wouldn't argue at all that the writing does right by Lucas, I do think it's important to recognize lumax as an intentionally-written badly flawed relationship, NOT a poorly-written perfect relationship. (the writing for 5 has a lot to prove so we'll see)

lumax is obviously happening. no ending to Lucas's story makes sense other than him getting the girl. however, I don't like that from either character's standpoint.

from hers - Max is not a prize. and from his - Max is no prize.

Max is a pretty shitty girlfriend.

we've never seen her show Lucas any interest in learning anything about him. I can't remember a time she's complimented him, said anything nice about him, or done anything purely for his benefit. virtually all of their serious conversations have been about her, and the scant few that are sort of about him are inevitably just a lead-in to him offering support to her.

Lucas and Max's relationship - pre, during, and post dating - is 100% about what he can do for her. he's the one making 100% of the effort.

it seems like most of their interactions are him walking on eggshells trying to placate, reassure, or convince her, all for the reward of.... what. being allowed to continue existing near her? like yeah, she's a cool girl, but. that can't be it.

what good is getting the girl if the girl doesn't really offer anything?

. . .

through the seasons, semiquickly:

season 2

Lucas and Dustin both like Max, so they invite her trick or treating, offering to protect her from bullies and show her where the good candy is. in other words, the first Max / Lucas interaction is him offering something to benefit her. Max returns no appreciation or even response to the invite, yet still shows up to reap the benefits.

that pretty much sets the tone.

Max wants to be included, but that's a sensitive subject, so she puts on aloof airs to protect herself. it's an act, but nonetheless it's all Lucas receives.

the facade slips on multiple occasions though; Lucas is permitted to see her vulnerability, and we can see she's actually more desperate to make the connection than he is.

Dustin seeks Steve's manipulation tactics to use on Max, but Lucas wins her over by treating her like an equal and offering her genuine friendship.

he risks both his place in the party and his safety/life to include her, gives his undivided attention when she talks to him, asks questions that show his interest and concern, he reassures, uplifts and compliments her, and physically protects her.

in return, Max. uhh. well she does apologize for being a jerk, although she doesn't exactly stop, lmao. this is one of only two moments I can think of when Max reveals any regard for what Lucas thinks of her.

lumax is off-balance before it even starts, although s2 is when I think that dynamic is most permissible. since Max is a newcomer, Lucas has the advantage in many respects, and it makes sense for him to be the one extending a hand to her.

when Billy attacks Lucas for hanging out with Max, he could be gravely hurt if not for Steve taking the beating instead. Max joins in the momentary group hug but never says a word about this. (I suspect the writers mean for Max's bus apology to have proactively served as a veiled "sorry my stepbro is racist" but more felt needed in that moment.)

then they go to the dance and she kisses him and it's cute and everything is happy for ten whole seconds.

between 2 and 3

even though the summer of '85 is "the good days," this relationship is already careening downhill.

we learn that Max has dumped Lucas five times - such a regular occurrence that he takes it in stride and is well practiced at winning her back as a result.

unfortunately it's Lucas taking to heart the "happy wife happy life" policy from his dad that's set up lumax as something that seems to serve only Max. her awareness of the policy means she holds all the cards.

season 3

Max has secured her place in the party and the relationship, and now it's time for her to bring something to the table, but I honestly can't name one thing. it's still Lucas bending over backwards and Max sometimes being a bit of a jerk. (another act. we'll come back to this)

from the start of 3 we see an excessively secure Max and an obsequious Lucas. she doesn't show him any of the vulnerability that made her endearing in 2. they share fun moments, but we can infer that she doesn't treat him very well in ways that matter.

at one point she even plays mad just to watch him panic. you get the feeling this boy can never feel secure in his relationship. yeah she's just teasing, but do you think Lucas is allowed to tease too?

when El comes to Max for advice, she tells her that "boyfriends lie all the time" and this is before we see Lucas lie to her.

when Mike comes to Lucas for advice, he confidently schools him on how to get back in El's good graces by buying her a present - making clear he's been following his dad's advice all summer long and it's been working:

L: Dad? When Mom's mad at you, how do you make her not mad? C: First, I apologize. Then, I get your mother whatever she wants. L: Even when she's wrong? C: She's never wrong, son.

the mall confrontation is the first time we see Lucas really lie to Max, but even then, the girls don't actually have proof Nana isn't sick.

it's telling, actually, that Lucas's loyalty goes to Mike instead of Max in this moment. in s2 it was the other way around (Lucas pissed off the whole party by including her in the group and telling her the truth - a technically banishable offense). but now he's back to his s1 bros before hoes policy, and not only backs up but expands on Mike's lie. after dating almost a year, his loyalty to Max should be even stronger, but here we see the opposite. if Max had been at least as good a friend to him as Mike, I'm inclined to think he would at least have tried to be noncommittal here.

Max is so confident Lucas will have nothing on his mind but winning her back, as always - meanwhile who we actually see Lucas apologizing to is Will.

she may have had Lucas wrapped around her little finger all summer, but we're seeing that start to uncoil. if Lucas apologizes, it's offscreen.

when Billy tries to break out of the sauna to kill Max, Lucas slingshots him and body shields Max during the fight. next thing you know, Max is back to being cliquey with El in the bathroom (making fun of Mike even though he was the only one who did anything to save El's life?? girl you're being shitty to boyfriends that aren't even yours)

they seem to be a couple again by the end of 3, but the relationship is weakened...

between 3 and 4

..which sets the scene for how the two apparently drift when Max ends it once again. she's not playing this time - she uses the term "break up" instead of "dump" and Lucas has accepted that it's over.

depression makes it hard for Max to connect with him, but the way she treated him in 3 has likely also eaten away at his insistence on prioritizing her. if you push someone away over and over you can't be too surprised if they stay further away each time.

so Max withdraws socially and Lucas apparently doesn't go to his usual lengths to pursue her.

he's still making effort though! the "stalking" comment makes it clear he's been trying to approach her. we know he's been inviting her to his basketball games. him already knowing her favorite song as of 4x4 is more evidence of him taking an interest in her between seasons.

he clearly still cares a lot about Max, but good for him for pursuing his own hobbies and friendships as well.

season 4

Lucas finally asks Max to do something to support him for once (come to his game), but she shuts it down hard.

we know Max still cares about him, but that's just it - WE know. he doesn't. to his face, it's bristling rejection even while he literally begs for the chance to support her.

saving Max's life is a group effort, but Lucas knowing her favorite song is the key that saves her life, and it's only after that that she's friendly towards him again.

the only time I can recall Max expressing any concern for Lucas's wellbeing is when she asks if he's okay in 4x6 - and he only gets a few sentences to process Patrick's death before it's time for him to turn it into an apology to her. sigh.

Lucas is the only one of Max's friends to voice any objection to her suicide mission of a Vecna plan, and pitches for them to gamble a stranger's life instead. he once again risks his life to hang out in the Creel house with Max, personally taking on the huge responsibility of making sure she doesn't die.

Vol 2 Max finally shows Lucas some long-awaited appreciation ("you might have been there" and "I'm glad you're here") which is very nice to see.

I'm conflicted about the movie invite scene, but we'll talk about that later. textually: he asks her out, she accepts, it's totes adorbs.

unfortunately, Max being tranced out by the time Jason walks in means it's time for Lucas once again to get attacked by an older, stronger guy who's wrongly convinced he's a danger to her. (again not her fault, but kinda because of her)

everything goes sideways, Max gets Vecna'd, and Lucas holds her while she dies. we end on a bruised Lucas sitting loyally at Max's bedside, reading to her just in case she can hear it inside her coma.

Lucas hasn't been perfect but he has spent yet another season physically protecting and emotionally supporting Max at great personal expense, and with little appreciation and no support in return.

. . .

the movie doodle didn't fix lumax

Max has had an epiphany, but a change of behavior has scarcely begun. being nice isn't the same as making amends. they've resolved zero of the old issues, plus 4 (even if the plan had worked) has heaped a ton of new shit on both of them.

she's still a grieving, neglected, depressed and passively suicidal child of a triply-broken home. dating doesn't fix that. they already broke up once under the same conditions.

plus Max has new catastrophic emotional traumas, some of which which explicitly exacerbate those very issues. she has catastrophic injuries and disability to cope with (and this is a girl who withdraws under stress normally). with a shred of realism, she's waking up in less a mood for dating than ever.

Lucas has also taken on new traumas, between the basketball team stuff, getting beaten up and almost shot/strangled, and watching Max get Vecna'd and die. he already has a history of guilt about not being there for her enough, so he's going to have a lot more about failing her in that moment (definitely not his fault but he'll still feel bad) and will likely be even more focused on her.

to me, this all sounds like a recipe for the same old dynamic except worse than ever. if they get sleeping beauty'd directly back into lumax, it'll be a disservice to both characters.

. . .

now let's talk about why Max treats Lucas the way she does 🔬

she's not a conniving bitch, she's just a scared kid from a toxic home. that doesn't excuse her behavior but it does make it understandable.

Max CAN be a great friend. she's just not to Lucas.

Max absolutely showers El with the good qualities she'll barely show Lucas. in fact I could loosely say Max is to El what Lucas is to Max.

Max is suspicious and disparaging towards Lucas, even while trusting that he can be counted upon to grovel. meanwhile El never apologizes for intentionally hurting Max both physically and emotionally, yet the moment El acknowledges her (only because she wants help), Max is instantly forgiving, kind, gentle, caring, generous and supportive towards her.

she throws her loyalty behind a friend of 1 afternoon over her boyfriend of a year who's been the only person in Hawkins to show her any true kindness and emotional connection.

if Max was half the friend to Lucas that she is to El, she'd be a decent girlfriend. why isn't she?

we can name a few reasons why Max IS so nice to El, but why she ISN'T to Lucas is a separate question. kindness isn't zero-sum.

she told us why. boyfriends lie.

and it's ANY boyfriend, not just hers. Nana's sick? more like Mike's a lying piece of shit! Suzie from camp? fake! Dustin's obviously lying! the only one of the boys Max has never accused of lying is Will - the only one who's been single the whole time.

just. the state of being a boyfriend (or even just liking a girl is close enough), makes any boy automatically a liar.

Max believes "friend" and "boyfriend" are mutually exclusive

"Friends don't lie!" "Yeah, well, boyfriends lie all the time." <- it's all right there.

back in 2 when Lucas was her friend, she was more open and trusting. she gave him the benefit of the doubt that monsters were real and he knew a girl with magic powers. starting to date flipped the switch, and now she doesn't trust him about mundane stuff.

now they're not friends, they're boyfriend/girlfriend, and she expects to be treated in a whole different way, including all the baggage that comes with romantic relationships in her mind.

what baggage?

Max's childhood is full of examples of awful, manipulative men and abusive, broken relationships.

her dad: I'd only be speculating about why her parents' marriage failed, but in 2 Max misses California because her dad is still there, then by 4 acts like it's doubtful he can even be tracked down for delivery of what's basically her suicide letter. it's clear she desired a relationship with her dad but was abandoned. Neil: abusive asshole who rules the household with an iron fist. I'd be shocked if he hasn't abused Susan, and see little reason he wouldn't do it in front of Max (after all, we see him verbally and physically abuse his first wife in front of his son, in a bad fight over suspected lies/infidelity). in his grief over Billy, Neil and Susan have "bad fights" and he leaves the family. he's not missed, but it's still a second abandonment by a father figure. Billy: Max's peer example of guys in relationships: a sleazy, two-faced asshole who treats girls like trash and completely changes his persona to manipulate them for sex or whatever else he wants (Max appears to be all too aware of his sex life and is disgusted). abandonment issues with him too: a good relationship with a big brother would've meant the world to her, but he rejected and probably abused her for years; her letter at his grave reads "ever since you left" - same word she used for Neil.

Max desperately hopes Lucas is an exception to the rule, but these are the behaviors she would naturally fear from any guy she dates.

Max is especially terrified of being abandoned (and that she deserves it)

to be abandoned over and over can naturally leave a kid wondering if it's their fault, if this is the treatment they deserve.

Lucas is overall quite honest, and there's not an abusive bone in his body. the most realistic one of Max's fears to apply to him is that someday he'll leave her, too.

and that's the worst fear Vecna chooses to voice in Lucas's form: realizing he's been wrong about her, that she's fundamentally bad and he's glad she's going to be killed. a gutting abandonment from the guy she most wants to trust.

Vecna-Susan also tells Max that she deserves what's going to happen to her, that she's "broken everything" and that her letters can't make things right. because he's in full Vecna mode when he says it, I just took those as very general condemnations at first. but they hurt even worse when I remember they're still coming from "Susan" - revealing that Max feels she has broken her family.

she wanted Billy to die, and she figures Neil left because Billy died, so that's two of the abandonments being "her fault". if that's true, Max would also feel responsible for destroying her mom's life - having cost her her marriage, home, and financial security.

in her addictions Susans has, in an emotional sense, abandoned Max just like all her other family members - and Max fears she deserves it. how desperate she was for this hug... :(

anyway, back to lumax: let's reexamine those s3 dumpings

what exactly did Lucas even do? we never find out.

on first watch, I took "boyfriends lie" at face value and assumed Lucas got caught fibbing. but that doesn't fit so well.

he's maybe the party member most invested in "friends don't lie". honesty to his friends is a pillar of his character. again, he caused friction in 2 because he so strongly prioritized honesty to Max. to assume based on one line from an unreliable narrator that he randomly became a huge liar over the summer is unfair.

via their counseling of Mike and El, Lucas and Max tell us what's been going on with lumax

Max tells El:

He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness. I guarantee him and Lucas are totally wallowing in self-pity and misery right now like "ohh, I hope they take us back!"

I think we all clocked that one: Max thinks that because El followed her technique, Mike will come crawling back - because Lucas has come crawling back to her several times now.

but I haven't seen much discussion about how the spying scene (which "he'll come crawling back" is paired with) shows Lucas assuring Mike that he's been dumped for an unfair and illogical reason because that's what Max has done to him several times now.

M: I just don't understand what I did to deserve this. L: Nothing. Nothing. That's my whole point. You are the victim here. Stop asking rational questions. M: I know, I know, you're right. Because women act on emotion and not logic. L: Precisely. It's a totally different species.

Max is pissed. but has she been irrational, acting on emotion and not logic, and dumping him for no apparent reason all summer? signs point to yes.

and I understand Lucas saying this. it's not pure misogyny out of nowhere; he's been told that his mother expects gifts and apologies even when wrong, Max acts that way too, and now so apparently does El. all of his examples concur that this is just how women in relationships are. (Charles Sinclair how many relationships will your advice destroy lmao)

both Max and Lucas are bringing preconceptions from home.

Max acts this way on purpose

I don't think she's dumped him over truly nothing (although that's how it looks to him). I'm thinking she blows real, minor missteps out of proportion.

any time Lucas does something slightly insensitive, it looks like the first red flag to her, and instead of communicating in a constructive way, she just throws up this "boys aint shit" force field and dumps him. of course she doesn't truly want to be rid of him, she's just sorta snapping the leash.

I think Max knows what she's doing. I think she wants to keep Lucas always on his back foot, because the relationship isn't as scary if she feels like she holds all the power.

she's always trying to cover up fear/sorrow with anger, because anger gives an illusion of control. and she's been conscious of that anger, and the fact that it's unfair to Lucas, since the beginning - that's what she apologized for on the bus. "I guess I'm angry too, and I'm sorry."

she was mature enough at 13 to see the error in her behavior, but still not mature enough by 15 to fix it. every season has just been a slightly different flavor of "leave before you get left".

so, that's my take on Max's relationship behavior. but again, explanations aren't excuses. Lucas deserves to be treated well, and that's not happening.

what needs to happen?

simply maturing more will help them both a lot. being 15 is a terrible condition in of itself.

I don't see Lucas dumping Max's ass, but she should take her own advice before the relationship continues: explain herself and fix the garbage parts of her behavior.

before Max can be the girlfriend Lucas deserves, she needs a substantial period of physical and emotional healing.

she needs renewed connections with her friends and family, and a lot of general growth in the area of communication and processing her feelings.

in regards to Lucas, she needs to work on her trust issues, and learn to extend him the treatment warranted by his behavior, not the behavior she fears from others. she needs to learn that "friend" and "girlfriend" aren't mutually exclusive, that real friendship is the key to their relationship, and is a two-way street.

any Billy racism/assault acknowledgement would be better years late than never, especially if grieving Billy continues to be a focus in front of Lucas.

Lucas could also use a little work

the relentless positivity doesn't serve Max well. often it turns out to be empty reassurances which make her feel let down (so, a soft version of the lies she fears). she let him know in 4x4 that this hurts her, but he kept doing it for the rest of the season.

but the big one is that "happy wife happy life" doesn't serve him well, and rewarding unfair treatment perpetuates the problem. yes, the ability to compromise, swallow pride, and be the bigger person are healthy parts of a relationship, as well as the willingness to extend grace to your partner/friend when they're struggling. but it always being on one designated person is a recipe for dissatisfaction and resentment.

Lucas should voice to Max that he, too, has struggles and needs support. I'd like to see him pursue outside interests unapologetically.

no, this isn't an exhaustive list, and I don't expect to see everything fixed at once, or explicitly processed onscreen. but I sure hope we get some evidence of change, and that this has all been part of an arc.

for instance, I'd love for the final lumax reconciliation to be Max asking Lucas to take her back.

I kind of hope not to see them officially together until the very end. in fact I'd so much rather see ST end on a good Max / Lucas friendship with an implied romantic future than jump back to the status quo.

l don't want to see lumax until it's a new lumax, based on real, reciprocal friendship.

#even with the length I rambled this is still oversimplified and left out stuff re: both. but. just to get the conversation started.#you don't want elm*x because lucas. I don't want lumax because lucas. we are not the same #I think people fawn over lumax because they're kind of a milkvan foil and therefore must be perfect?#lowkey seeing lucas date someone else for a bit would straighten 4 max out. girlie careful acting like you're the only fish in the sea <3 #the more I think about it the more I'd like lumax to completely break up and live in different towns and then try again as adults #if the max waking up scene has a kiss in it I'm turning off the tv #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #lumax #givehimthemedicine analysis

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hiskillingjar · 1 month ago

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Stalking (Lawrence/MC)

hello, you.

day 19: stalking second person

Blonde hair, pale blue eyes, the colour of sea, the colour of broken glass.

Tall, with a slightly willowy frame, but you had a sense that they were hiding a strength they didn't show to a lot of people.

Maybe they'd show it to you, though, if you were good enough.

They dressed like shit, in plaid shirts and sweat pants, work polos and fleeces when they drove to the warehouse (they worked most days, abiding by a sporadic schedule, but mostly through the night), but you didn't mind that.

You didn't look much better, you thought, as you ate your way through the local all-night takeout menu in your car. A burger in one hand and a camera in the other, which you had posed on their car all night long, waiting for them to come and go, so you could see them, even if just for a moment.

You weren't a stalker.

Stalkers did much worse than you did. Stalkers wanted to intimidate and hurt, and used the delusion of romance and gentleness to do it.

You were just...especially interested in this person.

And you were lonely. Desperately so.

Getting out of a psych ward was difficult for anyone, but it was especially hard for someone like you, someone who needed some kind of structure, a project to work on, something to make your days routine, to give them a purpose.

Lawrence gave you a structure.

You didn't need to worry about waking up or looking for a job. You didn’t need to worry about anything, really.

You just got to experience the joy of spending every minute of the day thinking about them, following them, taking pictures of them.

You took all you pictures very carefully, your skills at photography being the one thing you were relatively proud of.

You had all of them neatly sorted on your hardrive, by the location at which they were taken (the warehouse, outside their apartment, driving out into the woods late at night), and the expression they had on their face.

In some, they seemed sad. Others were happy (though those were few and far between). Mostly, it was just an empty expression, devoid of any kind of real emotions.

They were beautiful, regardless.

Maybe one day, you'd be brave enough to sneak away to their apartment while they were at work. You’d break in (pick the lock so they don’t have to replace it after) and take a moment to just sit and think about the kind of life the two of you might have shared together, had they even known who you were.

But that idea wouldn't work.

For one, you might have missed a perfect opportunity for another picture of them, with their lovely, long hair covering their face as they smoked outside the warehouse, a momentary break from pretending to be a person.

Your memory card was full of them, and yet, you always needed more.

Your thoughts and fantasies about them were growing more and more possessive, more and more unhinged (but a safe, inert kind of unhinged, of course, you weren’t a real stalker), the more time you spent watching them, taking their picture, thinking and obsessing over them.

They were an apt person to project that desire onto, though.

For one, they never seemed to speak with anyone, let alone dabble in things like friendships, relationships, dating, the like. Any polite invitation they got to join coworkers out on the town was met by a dismissive “maybe next time”, knowing there would never be a next time.

No competition.

Maybe one day, you really could just fall into their life and...fit in pefectly.

Yes.

You could fit in.

You would fit in, even if you had to remold yourself to be the perfect person for them.

They were going through a rough time right now. They were always going through a rough time right now.

So really, all you had to do was wait for them to reach a boiling point. And then, when the time was right, and they were alone and needing a friend, you would step in, a perfect stranger, and make yourself a part of their life.

You weren't a stalker.

You were just...an admirer.

And they were the perfect person for your admirations.

One night, though, while staking out the warehouse and working yourself through a family bucket of fried chicken (you needed the calories), you somehow managed to fall asleep with your head at the wheel.

You woke with a start, drooling over the leather of your car dashboard, the sun rising outside your windscreen, signifying the beginning of the day.

You sighed, not totally sure where you were or why you were doing this (your mind was never sure of anything this early), before pushing a hand through your greasy hair and pulling down the mirror in your car to inspect your reflection.

You looked tired. Your skin was pale and clammy, and you had grease and ketchup smeared on your face from last night's meal which was growing cold at your side.

Lawrence wouldn't like you like this.

How dare you look so unkempt, you thought with a curled sneer, pushing the mirror away and starting up the car with a twist of keys in the ignition.

If you wanted to be a significant person in their life, if you wanted them to even look at you with something other than disgust and disdain, how could you do it looking like a slob?

How shameful of you.

You'd have to go back to your place, shower, get a change of clothes, look your absolute best for when you did this again.

If you made the wrong impression on them, who knew if you'd get another chance.

You had to look your best.

You cursed yourself out internally for missing Lawrence leave work (when they looked prettiest, tired eyes and dressing out of their uniform), and drove back to your pitiful apartment (rented to you by your parents, they owned the building and gave you a place for next to nothing, just so they didn't have to look at you).

The door was ajar when you arrived, sporting a broken lock, and newly caked on mud which had obviously been scraped off on the doormat to avoid being trekked inside.

Odd.

You didn't remember leaving the door open. Nor did you remember your lock being broken before you left it.

With a small pit in your stomach, you gingerly approached the entrance to your apartment, stepping forward and gently nudging the door open with the toe of your sneaker, cautiously peering into the darkness.

You did your best to stay quiet, barely breathing as you walked through the familiar if darkened hallway, noticing a lamp behind the mostly-closed door of your bedroom.

Your stomach dropped suddenly.

What was going on in there?

You carefully approached the bedroom door, listening closely.

You heard the sound of slightly wet slaps and friction, combined with heavy breathing, your bed creaking underneath…whoever had broken in.

"Mmh...yeah...t-that’s it."

Your eyes widened instantly and you pushed the door open.

Lawrence was the one sitting on your bed, their lovely hair covering their red and slightly sweaty face, their perfect frame backlit by the warmth of your bedroom lamp, those glass-blue eyes widening in shock at your arrival, as they pushed themselves onto your bed like a started animal.

They had a pair of your panties in their hand, and though they had stopped when you walked in, their half-hard cock was kept upright by the waistband of their sweatpants, the palm of their other hand slick with your hand lotion.

You froze in the door frame, unable to do anything but stare.

Lawrence.

In your apartment, on your bed, holding your panties.

They were obviously as freaked out as you were (maybe more, since you weren’t really that freaked out), with a look on their (pretty, lovely, beautiful) face that suggested they didn't at all expect to be caught doing what they were doing.

"H...Hello," You mumbled softly, giving them your best approximation of a polite smile, telling them that you weren’t a threat, they could trust you. "Um...am I interrupting something?"

"...No, not...at all..."

Lawrence didn’t move from where they were sitting, still holding your underwear in their hand, their eyes flicking down to the garment and then back up to you.

Their face was burning crimson red, and they gave you an awkward smile in lieu of any kind of explanation.

So lovely.

Your could feel your heart pound erratically, like it would beat straight out of your ribcage, and every inch of your body practically melted with fondness at that rare but wonderful smile.

"You...can keep going, if you want to?" You offered softly.

"Wh-what?!" The words came out as a sharp whisper, and their voice was somehow shakier than it had been before, staring at you like you had suggested something quite bizarre (and maybe you had, you weren’t used to this sort of interaction). "You'd...you'd be alright with it if I...if I kept going...? With... this...?"

They held up the underwear for you to see.

There was a little dot of their pre-cum on the white satin, and just seeing it made your insides clench tightly and your legs begin to tremble

"I'd be honoured," You said, your smile widening slightly as you hesitantly sat on the end of your bed, putting plenty of distance between the two of you. “I-If you could…show me, maybe?”

Lawrence's eyes widened even more and they swallowed tightly, their prominent Adam’s apple bobbing in their delicate throat.

To your delight, though, they nodded.

"Okay...yeah...okay," They murmured with another nod. “If you’re sure…”

Slowly, they brought the pair of panties to their face, their eyes shutting as they inhaled deeply, taking in your scent (taking in your scent, oh my god!), as their other hand sank back around their cock and started up another consistent rhythm of jerking.

You let out a pleased sigh, your eyes fixed on them completely as you keened forward on the bed, your own hand sinking between your thighs to give yourself something to press against, some kind of relief when there wasn’t anything else.

"What...are you doing here?" You asked quietly, not wanting to distract them.

They took a few more moments to answer, taking in a few more, deep inhales from your underwear as their fist tightened, slightly, squeezing around the flushed head of their cock.

When they spoke, their voice was soft, almost reverent.

"I...I wanted to see your place…” They murmured, sea-blue eyes on yours and warm, before they fluttered shut with pleasure. “I wanted to see what it was like...to live a life with you..."

"Oh." You whispered, your voice almost cracking. "That's...so interesting."

"You...you think so...?"

Lawrence's eyes opened back up, and they were looking straight at you, seemingly trying, intently, to observe you and understand what sort of creature they were dealing with here.

“Aren’t you scared?” They asked, their low voice soft and gentle (and so lovely), taking in another long inhale from the silk as their wrist started to move quicker. “Isn’t this…scary? Some random person breaking into your house and sniffing your panties? You should be…hah, you should be terrified…”

“I’m not scared at all,” You shook your head lightly, never taking your eyes from theirs (even if you wanted to stare at their cock, worship their cock, do anything they wanted to their cock). "I…I've...been watching you for months...seeing you here is…kind of a dream come true."

That got a reaction from Lawrence immediately.

"You've been watching me? For...months...?" They asked with a raised eyebrow and a slightly surprised expression, as if you had told them something completely mundane, as opposed to making them aware of a crime you had been actively committing up until an hour ago. “You can’t have seen anything that interesting…”

“That doesn’t matter,” You insisted, sitting forward and placing a hand on their knee (they flinched, but you didn’t take offence to it). “Anything you did was the most interesting thing in the world, Lawrence…I-I just wanted to see you.”

“See me?” They repeated, breathing out again. “See me…”

“Yes…” You nodded hesitantly.

“How sweet.”

The grip on their cock tightened even more (squeezing pearls of pre-cum from their red slit, staining their sweat pants), and they took in another long sniff of your underwear, (because you were the one doing all of this for them).

They held it for a few moments, before opening their mouth and sticking their tongue out, running it along the gusset of the panties.

"Fffhh..." Your legs trembled and you could feel your cunt throb even more under your jeans, your hold on their knee tightening a little more. "Oh...wow..."

A small, satisfied smile played at the edges of Lawrence's lips (pleased to be having this affect on you) as they dragged the wide flat of their tongue over the silk, moaning softly at the taste (whatever it was they could taste).

"I bet...I bet you taste better than you smell..." They murmured, breathing through their nose as they bunched the underwear against their mouth. “Mmfhh…”

"I can't believe this is happening," You murmured, unbuttoning your jeans and pulling them open before you had the chance to stop yourself, sliding your fingers underneath your own panties and feeling the copious amounts of wet heat underneath. "How is this really happening?”

“Hah,” They breathed out before giving you a smile.

Eerie, lifeless, the kind of thing you would see in a bad dream.

And so lovely.

“Do you really think you’re the only stalker here?”

#lawrence oleander #lawrence btd #lawrence x mc #lawrence x reader #kinktober 2024 #one of the faves #i like this one a lot

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stylesispunk · 10 months ago

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"The not so invisible string" | part 3

not outbreak! Joel Miller x f! Reader

previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist

summary: you and Joel were made right for each other in the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?

word count:8k>

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, fluff.

a/n: Hello! Well, it took me almost two weeks to write something, and it was hard because I had no inspiration, so this is probably my worst piece of writing. However, I hope you enjoy it, The next chapter will be better because I have inspo for that one. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading 💌 You can always send asks or talk to me whenever you want. Again, sorry for the chapter, i promise the next one will be better 😭

masterlist

dividers by @/saradika

When's the exact point in life when you stop feeling excitement for what's to come? Growing up becomes a deadly fear creeping within your bones because there's no more dreams left for you, but you face the cruel reality of life becoming a cycle, a boring idea of waking up to survive the day instead of living it, when you face that the ideas you grew up with died with the years passing by.

But now, as you approached Joel’s place of work, the familiar rush of butterflies and excitement began to creep back in. You felt like a teenager before a first date with the person you like. Just as you were breaking down, Joel came back, pulling you into perspective.

You had recalled the three happiest days of your life: the first time you held Tara in your arms, the first kiss with Joel, and the day you met Joel. Even though the last happened at such a young age, you should have forgotten about them by now.

The car pulled into the parking lot of Joel's workplace, and you took a deep breath to steady your nerves.

Finally, you arrived at Joel's office. The door stood ajar, and you hesitated for a moment before knocking. The sound reverberated in the room, and Joel looked up from his desk, a warm smile breaking across his face.

It has been days since the first time you saw him again, and your heart was getting used to the idea of him surrounding you again.

"Hey," he said, rising from his chair. "I'm glad you came."

You offered a polite smile in return. "Well, you promised me a job or something.”

Joel gestured for you to take a seat. "Absolutely, I'm excited to discuss it with you."

Once you took a seat, he was speechless for a moment once again, his gaze fixed on you, on your hair, on your eyes, on your lips, and all over your face when he used to kiss you all over every time he wanted to, but he dismissed those thoughts away before you could notice he was looking at you that way.

"I've been thinking," Joel began, breaking the momentary silence, "about how we can make this work, about the job, about us working together."

You nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“"I know it's not just a job," he admitted. "It's a sort of chance for the both of us to rekindle our friendship.”

Friendship—how bad he wanted to be the romance.

“So is this a trap?” you asked.

“A trap? No,” he answered. “You know, all this construction stuff is not your cup of tea, but I would really like for you to help me get things organized here.”

“Why?” Your eyebrows frowned.

Joel leaned back in his chair, a contemplative expression on his face. "Because it was you who used to organize my life before, and you’re the most organized person I know.”

Your eyebrows raised slightly at his unexpected compliment, and the nostalgia in his eyes was evident.

"Joel, we need to be clear about our boundaries here," you emphasized, steering the conversation back to the work matter before it led to other things. "I'm here for a job, not to rekindle old flames or revisit the past. We have responsibilities, and our daughters are involved. Let's keep it professional."

He nodded, a faint smile playing on his lips. "I agree. Professional, it is. We're both adults, and I’m your boss now,” he smirked at the last sentence.

You chuckled at Joel's playful remark. "Fair enough, boss. Let's get down to the details, then. What exactly would my role be, and what are the expectations?"

Joel leaned forward, outlining the scope of the position and the responsibilities that needed your attention.

As you settled into the chair, Joel began outlining the job details, providing a comprehensive overview of the responsibilities involved. Your focus remained on the professional aspects of the conversation, but every now and then, a shared glance or a subtle reference to the past hinted at the layers of history between you.

Midway through the discussion, the door creaked open, and you turned to see Tommy entering the room.

"Am I interrupting something?" Tommy asked, glancing between Joel and you. His eyes widened, and a smile broke across his face as he recognized you.

"I can’t believe it!” he exclaimed, pleasantly surprised. "Wow, I didn't expect to see you here. It's been so many years!"

Joel stood up, wearing a grin. "Tommy, I introduce you to our new assistant.”

You extended a hand, but Tommy went straight up for a hug. "I’m really happy to see you again.”

“I say the same,” you replied with a smile, feeling a warmth in reconnecting with Tommy.

Tommy's eyes sparkled with nostalgia. "Well, it's great to have you back in the picture. Joel rarely brings people here, so you know what that means?” He paused a moment to look at you again. "Wow, you look just as beautiful as I remember.”

You exchanged a curious glance with Joel, knowing the implication behind Tommy's words.

Joel rolled his eyes, a bashful grin on his face. "Tommy, stop making it sound like a big deal."

"Hey, I'm just stating the facts," Tommy replied, winking at you. "Anyway, I'll leave you two to your business. Nice to see you again."

As Tommy exited the room, you turned back to Joel, the air carrying a subtle shift in dynamics.

As the conversation progressed, you found yourself immersed in work-related discussions, temporarily setting aside your shared history. The task at hand became the priority, and you delved into the details of the job, determined to establish clear professional boundaries in this unexpected turn of events in your life.

As the weeks passed by, Joel and you got used to your new routine; seeing each other added some excitement back to your life again, and you couldn’t help but feel nostalgia for what you once had been together, bringing back the memories of the past, while the fresh cultivated growth between you added a new purpose to your days.

And as if the present would want to get the memories of your history together as two strings connecting your lives, you came back from a meeting with some suppliers with a scraped knee.

As you limped back into the office, Joel noticed your discomfort and immediately became concerned. "What happened?" he asked, his brows furrowed with worry.

"Just a little accident during the meeting," you replied, trying to play it off. But Joel could see through the facade, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.

He still knew you so well.

“They didn’t hit me, by the way; I fell. Just to clarify” you smiled, as Joel reached for the first aid kit, no long after, he was kneeling beside you, carefully cleaning and applying a band-aid to your scraped knee. The touch of his hands brought back a flood of memories—the innocence of childhood and the way he used to caressed your skin as you grew up.

As he secured the band-aid in place, Joel couldn't help but smile. "Do you remember the first time I did this?" he said, his tone nostalgic.

You chuckled, nodding. "How could I forget? It seems like a lifetime ago."

Joel's gaze held a warmth that transcended time, and in that moment, the lines between past and present blurred. He placed his hand over your knee, and his touch made your skin burn at the contact, but not in an uncomfortable way, but as a warm sensation that only he was able to give.

"Joel,” you whispered.

Joel's touch lingered for a moment longer, his eyes searching yours for a reaction. There was a silent understanding between you, a connection that surpassed words.

"Sorry," he said, withdrawing his hand, a subtle flush coloring his cheeks. "I just wanted to make sure it's secure."

You nodded, feeling a strange mix of vulnerability and familiarity. "Thanks, Joel. For taking care of me.”

A smile played on his lips, and he stood up, disposing of the used bandage. "Anytime, Doe.”

Your hearts kept beating at the same sound and at the same rhythm, desperately finding a way to belong to each other again.

Two days later, in the evening, as you were getting dinner ready for Dwight and Tara, Dwight suggested inviting Joel and Sarah over for dinner since it seemed like you and his daughter seemed to enjoy their presence so much.

“What? Why?” you asked, being caught off guard by the suggestion of having Joel share the same table with your husband.

“Well, it seems like Tara is a good friend with his daughter. Plus, it would be good to know this so famous Joel.”

You couldn't deny the truth in Dwight's words, but the idea of having Joel and Sarah over for dinner still stirred up complex emotions. Not for Sarah, of course. But Joel meeting the man you had settled with seemed so out of touch.

"Why not?" Tara chimed in, trying to reassure you. "It'll be nice having them over."

After a moment of contemplation, you sighed. "Alright, let's do it. But keep it simple, okay?” You turned to Dwight and said, “Please, behave.”

Dwight nodded, giving you a reassuring smile. "Simple it is. It's just a friendly dinner, no strings attached."

You took a deep breath, considering the implications. "Alright, I'll call Joel. But let's keep it casual.”

You dialed Joel's number, and after a few rings, he answered. "Hey, Doe, what's up?"

You smiled at the nickname this time. Since having him back, you were getting so used to his presence that you almost loved that word slipping from his lips.

"Joel, we were thinking of having you and Sarah over for dinner. Just something simple," you explained, trying to keep the tone casual.

There was a brief pause before Joel responded, "Dinner sounds great. We'd love to. What time?"

Joel agreed to the time you offered. You felt painful anticipation and nervousness after hanging up the phone.

As soon as you heard a car pulling over in front of your house, your heart rate increased at the nervousness you felt for what could be happening as soon as Joel entered that door. You feared Dwight the most. He wasn’t a bad man, but he clearly was someone different from the person you had married; his recent behavior had been puzzling, almost as if he wanted to drive you away. The thought of potential humiliation loomed, and you couldn't shake off the unease in your mind.

“I’ll welcome our guests,” he said, standing on the couch. You nodded, trying to mask the worry on your face.

As Dwight greeted Joel and Sarah at the door, you took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself in the kitchen. The sounds of casual conversation and laughter echoed from the living room.

You walked there, approaching Joel, who was wearing a really tight smile, trying not to make you uncomfortable.

“Hi!” you exclaimed, trying to erase the shakiness from your bones.

"Hey," Joel replied, his smile mirroring yours, but there was an unease in his eyes that didn't go unnoticed.

Dwight led everyone to the living room, and as they settled in, you couldn't shake off the tension in the air. Tara and Sarah, however, seemed eager to catch up, leaving you and Joel with a shared glance, reflecting the tiny smile at seeing both of your daughters spending time together.

“So, uhm, babe, why don’t you serve dinner? Our guests must be starving already!”

Dwight's casual comment lingered in the air, and you nodded, forcing a smile as you made your way to the kitchen. Joel followed suit, excusing himself from the conversation in the living room.

Once in the kitchen, the atmosphere shifted. You began to cut some vegetables for the salad, the clatter of utensils masking the quiet tension in the room.

Joel, sensing the unease, spoke up, "Do you need help?"

You glanced at him, grateful for the lifeline. "Sure, if you can handle chopping some vegetables."

As you worked side by side, the silence between you spoke louder than words. The weight of unspoken history loomed, and each passing moment felt like a delicate dance on a tightrope.

Joel broke the silence, his voice hushed. "Are you okay?"

You offered a tight smile, avoiding eye contact. "I'm fine. I'm just trying to get through the evening."

He nodded, respecting the boundaries between the two of you. Ever since you two had rekindled your relationship and friendship, you had become more open to him, yet being in your house as the wife of another man was completely different. He felt tense, yet he wanted to be fine for you.

With the vegetables chopped and the dinner done, Joel and you walked around the kitchen as if nothing had ever changed between the two of you. The warmth of shared memories collided with the reality of the present once more.

It was Friday night, and you and Joel stood side by side at the kitchen counter, chopping vegetables and exchanging stories from the day. Joel’s fingers brushed against yours as you reached for spice—a simple touch that sent a shiver down your spine.

As you prepared the ingredients, Joel leaned in, whispering the steps of the recipe in your ear. The warmth of his breath against your skin sent a rush of heat through you. Cooking had never been more enjoyable now than when you were living together, sharing stolen kisses in the middle of a kitchen transformed into a space where time seemed to stand still.

How bad you wanted time to stand still yet.

As the final touches were put on the dinner plates, Joel hesitated, his voice once again breaking the silence. "I never imagined us in a situation like this."

You paused, glancing at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, me being in the kitchen with you in the house you live in with your daughter and husband.”

The weight of his words echoed the sentiments you both shared but didn't dare voice. "Well, things change,” you replied, your tone carrying the weight of time passing by.

With the dinner ready, you both carried the plates to the dining table. Everyone sat down, Tara and Sarah sat side by side, and Dwight, seemingly at ease, directed the conversation toward casual topics, creating an illusion of normalcy.

Joel sat across from you, his eyes occasionally meeting yours, looking for an answer.

“So, Joel,” Dwight began, "what do you do for a living?”

“Building contractor,” he replied, a little bit tense.

“Building contractor” Dwight recalled, “We’re calling you when something gets broken.”

Joel chuckled, a nervous smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, something like that. Fixing things is what I do." He mocked.

Dwight nodded approvingly, steering the conversation away from the unspoken tension. "Well, it's good to have someone handy around. You never know when a pipe might burst or a door might get jammed."

“He is a contractor, not your personal Plummer,” you intervened, a little bit tense with Dwight's careless attitude.

Joel looked at you appreciatively, and you could sense his relief at your intervention. Dwight chuckled, a casual dismissal in his tone. "Well, fixing things is fixing things, right? It's all in the same realm."

You sighed inwardly, realizing that Dwight's nonchalant approach was his way of diffusing the tension, but it didn't alleviate the unease in the air. Joel shifted uncomfortably, sensing the delicate nature of the conversation.

“Maybe he could fix that attitude of yours,” Dwight said, swiping his wine as he pointed out your attitude.

You raised an eyebrow at Dwight's comment, with surprise and hurt crossing your face. The tension in the room seemed to thicken, and Joel let out a forced chuckle, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Come on, Dwight," Joel said with a half-smile, "we're all just figuring things out here. There is no need for any fixing, just understanding."

Dwight leaned back in his chair, a playful glint in his eye. "Fair enough, fair enough. I can take a joke. But seriously, Joel, you're welcome here. Just promise you won't go stealing my wife without a warning.”

Joel's forced chuckle faded into an uncomfortable silence as Dwight's comment took an unexpected turn. The atmosphere in the room became more palpably strained, and you exchanged a quick glance with Joel, recognizing the need to address the comment delicately.

“Tara, can you and Sarah go upstairs, please?” you pleaded. She immediately understood and took her friend with her upstairs.

Once they were out of sight, you turned to Dwight. “Stop behaving like an idiot in front of others,” you warned.

Dwight's playful demeanor shifted as he met your stern gaze. The air in the room carried the weight of your warning, and for a moment, the unspoken tension became more palpable.

"I was just trying to lighten the mood," Dwight responded, attempting to downplay the situation.

"Well, then lighten the mood without making inappropriate jokes," you countered, your voice firm.

Joel, who had been quietly observing the exchange, nodded in agreement. "She's right. Let's try to keep things civil and avoid unnecessary complications."

Dwight sighed, realizing he had crossed a line. "Fine, fine. I'll tone it down. No more jokes.” He paused for a moment, not looking at you. “But I would like to know why my wife hides that you are actually her boyfriend.”

The room fell into an uneasy silence as Dwight's question hung in the air. You felt the weight of his words, and Joel's eyes met yours.

“Actually, I think I better be going. It’s getting late,” Joel spoke, meeting your watered gaze.

“No, you’re not,” Dwight warned. His expression remained firm, and he spoke with an authoritative tone. "Joel, you're a guest here, and we should resolve this now. We're all adults, and we can handle an honest conversation."

Joel hesitated, caught between the desire to avoid further conflict and the weight of the unspoken truths that lingered in the room. He glanced at you, silently seeking guidance. You took a deep breath, recognizing the need to address the situation.

"Dwight, we need to handle this with care," you urged, your tone calm yet firm. "Joel has the right to leave if he feels uncomfortable. We can discuss things more openly when tensions have cooled down."

“I want to know why you lied to me about it,” Dwight said to you.

In your nervousness, Joel noticed you were uncomfortable. He reached for you to touch your shoulder in order to make you feel better, but before he could come closer, Dwight intervened.

“Don’t touch her,” Dwight warned.

Joel withdrew, a frown forming on his face, but he respected Dwight's demand. The room fell into an uneasy silence as the unspoken complexities of the situation continued to unfold. The need for a careful and honest conversation was evident, but the challenge was maintaining a level of respect and understanding in the face of rising tensions.

"We need to talk about this," you said, your voice steady. "But let's do it when we can all approach the conversation calmly and with an intention to understand, not to accuse."

Dwight nodded, his expression still stern. "Fine, but we will address this. No more hiding."

Later, as you and Dwight prepared for bed, the weight of the unspoken conversation loomed over you. Dwight, however, was not ready to let the matter rest.

"Before we go to sleep, can we talk about this?" he asked, his tone earnest.

You hesitated, fully aware that addressing the issue in your current emotional state would only escalate matters further. Instead of responding directly, you began gathering a few belongings, making your intention to spend the night in the guest room clear.

"I just need some space tonight," you explained, avoiding eye contact. "We can talk about everything in the morning when we've had time to think."

Dwight's expression shifted between frustration and concern. "I just want to understand, to know the truth."

"I know," you replied, your voice softening. "And we will talk. But not tonight."

“You’re married to me,” he called out before you stepped out of the room.

You turned to face him, your expression displaying frustration. “And?”

“You own me respect,” he stated.

“Respect must be earned, and right now you are acting like an idiot,” you acknowledged, your voice steady.

With that, you left the room, leaving Dwight to contemplate his behavior. Right now, you felt your marriage was dying little by little, and you wanted nothing more than just freedom.

+++

The next morning, there was a palpable sense of tension in the atmosphere. As you prepared for the day, the weight of the unresolved talk with Dwight hung heavy in your mind. He was nowhere to be found during the morning, so you get ready for the day.

After a restless night, you decided to head into work, hoping that a change of scenery and a return to routine might provide a necessary distraction. As you made your way to Joel’s office, you noticed Joel sitting with quiet contemplation in his eyes.

"Morning," you greeted, offering a tentative smile.

"Morning," Joel replied, his expression mirroring the unease in the room.

"Oh, I just wanted to say sorry for last night," you began, choosing your words carefully. " Dwight's attitude was completely

Joel shook his head, a small smile breaking through. "It's not your fault. Beside, I can handle a bit of tension."

You appreciated his understanding with a tiny smile.

“Did you sleep well, though? You seem restless,” he pointed out.

You sighed, acknowledging the toll the previous night had taken on your peace of mind. "Not really. The atmosphere was a bit... tense."

Joel's gaze softened, understanding the weight of the situation. “Well, I’m sorry for being back in your life,” he joked.

“Don’t say that,” you tilted your head. “You’re the best thing that happened to me this last time.”

Joel's smile widened at your words; the tension in the room was momentarily replaced with a warm exchange. "Well, if that's the case, I'm glad to be back." He paused and said, “Take your time. Relationships are like construction projects. They need a solid foundation and careful planning."

With a chuckle, you responded, "You would know, being a building contractor and all."

As the day unfolded, you found yourself grateful for Joel's presence and the brief moments of levity he brought. It was a reminder that, amidst the uncertainties, a supportive connection could make the uncharted territory feel a bit less daunting.

+++++

“By the way, Sarah called me; she and Tara are going to my house to finish this school project,” Joel told you.

A sense of relief washed over you as Joel shared the news about Sarah and Tara. It provided a welcomed diversion from the complex situation you had at home.

"Oh, that's great," you replied, a genuine smile forming. "At least they have each other's company. I hope the project is going well."

“It’s great how they became friends so easily. It reminds me of us,” he said, smiling.

You couldn't help but smile at Joel's observation. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?”

Joel nodded in agreement, a nostalgic glint in his eyes. “Okay, so you’re free to go; I can drive Tara home once they’re done with the project.”

You nodded appreciatively at Joel's offer. "That would be great, thanks. And thanks for being here, Joel," you said, expressing gratitude for the fresh air he had offered you since he became part of your life again "It means a lot."

Joel nodded, a reassuring presence. "Take your time, and remember, I'm just a call away if you need anything. We'll get through this."

“See you later, then?”

“See you later, Doe”

+++++

Once you arrived back home, Dwight was there. The tension already felt like a string around your neck, suffocating you all over.

As you stepped back into the house, the familiar surroundings felt charged with tension. You both exchanged a cautious glance, each aware of the elephant in the room. Dwight, however, seemed to be avoiding the topic, engaging in mundane conversations through his phone with someone else.

After some time, when you could no longer bear the unspoken tension, you decided to address the elephant in the room. "Dwight, we need to talk about last night. We can't just ignore it."

He sighed, a subtle avoidance in his eyes. "Can't it wait? I've got a work trip coming up, and I need to get everything sorted."

You raised an eyebrow, a mix of frustration and disbelief in your expression. "A work trip? You're leaving for the whole weekend?"

Dwight nodded, his gaze drifting away. "Yeah, well, I’ll come back next Friday. It's a last-minute thing. I need to handle some important projects. It came up unexpectedly."

The timing felt convenient yet suspicious. The air thickened with unspoken questions, but Dwight continued to divert the conversation away from the pressing issues.

"Dwight, we can't keep avoiding this," you insisted, your voice firm. "We need to address what happened."

"I know, I know," he replied, a hint of impatience in his tone. "But I've got to leave now, and I need to get some rest. Can we talk when I get back?"

The evasion felt deliberate, leaving you frustrated and with a sense of urgency to address the unresolved matters. However, faced with the impending work trip, Dwight's departure seemed inevitable.

"Fine," you reluctantly agreed, though the unease lingered. "But when you get back, we're talking about this. No more avoiding."

Dwight nodded, though his expression remained distant, but still he pecked your lips.

“Take care, and take care of Tara,” he said before stepping out of the house.

You were left there in the middle of a living room that felt colder as the days passed by. You have never felt so small in your life as you were feeling now, living under the same moon as Dwight, and that thought alone made you sick.

Every time sadness overcomes you and salty tears stream out of your eyes, you take out your memory box and look at the pictures of your older self, the one who thought she knew everything, the one who thought she knew herself without her half. Every single time you came across those memories, it was Joel, the one beside you, looking at you as if you were hanging the moon in the sky, and you smiled.

When you looked at the pictures of him, you were relieved by the words and the kisses, and suddenly all the space surrounding you was full of him. You had come to terms with the fact that you weren’t complete without him; he lived inside you because he made you feel complete; he taught you how to love and be loved and how to know you were worth the world; and after him, you accepted that you were never going to be that foolish girl again.

But now, you were in front of his door, hesitating and gathering the courage to knock on the door and face the what if, and when Joel opened the door with surprise on his face, you were him, and he was you.

"Oh. You’re not a pizza guy,” he said, with evident surprise in his voice.

You managed a small smile at Joel's observation, appreciating the brief moment of levity. "No, not the pizza guy. But I was alone at my house, and I thought I could stop by and take Tara home.”

“Actually, I promised the girls a pizza; we were just about to.“

"Oh, okay, I can come later,” you interrupted, feeling ashamed of the sudden feeling you have to be closer to him again.

“What are you talking about? Of course, no, come here,” he said, moving from the door entrance to allow you to step into his house.

This was the first time you were here, and you couldn’t help but recall all the features of Joel that made him him. How those tiny objects and decorations around his house told the story of him, and how would it be if you didn’t leave that night?

“Such a cozy home.” You emphasize the word home since this one felt like one.

Joel smiled warmly at your compliment. "Thanks. I try to make it feel like home. Come on in; make yourself comfortable."

Suddenly, his hand traveled to your waist, guiding you through his house, and the air was cut from your lungs. Your eyes met for a second, and his hand left his spot; however, his handprint still burned.

However, Joel guided you toward the living room, where Tara and Sarah were eagerly setting up the table for their promised dinner. The girls looked up, their faces lighting up with surprise and excitement.

"Hey, look who's here!" Joel announced, his tone cheerful as he entered the living room with Sarah and Tara. The girls greeted you warmly, their excitement contagious.

“Mom? What are you doing here?” Tara asked, walking towards you to envelope you in a tight embrace.

You hug Tara and say, "I thought I'd drop by and join you guys for pizza." You lied.

I felt alone; you thought for yourself only.

Sarah chimed in, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Are you staying for the movie night too?"

You looked at Joel curious; he still had Friday's movie night. “I supposed,” you answered, still looking at Joel. “Can I?

"Absolutely,” Joel said, not taking his gaze away from yours.

“What about my dad?” Tara asked, “Is he okay with this?”

“Well, he left for a business trip, so we are alone for the weekend,” you replied.

And before more questions could be asked, the doorbell rang.

“The pizza, I’ll go for it,” Joel announced, disappearing from your view.

“Mom, are you okay?” Tara asked, concerned.

You gave Tara a reassuring smile. "I'm okay, sweetheart. I just wanted to spend some time with you and have a fun movie night."

Tara nodded, still showing a hint of concern. "If you ever need to talk or anything..."

"Thank you, Tara. I appreciate that," you replied, grateful for her caring nature.

As Joel returned with the pizza, the evening continued with shared laughter, conversation, and the simple joy of spending time together. The movie Night became a bridge connecting the past and the present, offering a glimpse into the potential for renewed connections.

The living room, adorned with warmth and laughter, and everything between you and Joel felt so natural as if time didn’t pass by.

You didn’t notice, but Tara paid attention to the both of you with a smile on her face. This exact moment was the picture she had always imagined of a happy family. A happy mother, a father who didn’t need to utter words to show the love he felt for the woman beside him, because she saw in Joel’s eyes the way he looked at you as if you were the brightest star in the sky, that man loved you, and she felt at ease.

“You know, you can stay the night." Joel offered you, once Sarah and Tara fell asleep in Sarah’s room, “You can take my bed and I can take the couch.”

You hesitated for a moment, weighing the implications of Joel's suggestion. It was completely fine for a pair of friends, but you weren’t just that, and you both know that behind all the reconnection, there was addiction to something you couldn’t possess.

"I appreciate the offer, Joel," you replied, a soft smile playing on your lips. "But I should head to my house.”

“But you don’t deserve to go to a lonely house,” he said, trying to plead with you about the idea of spending a night with you under the same roof. He started to feel a joy inside his gut, all his feelings hidden there.

You could sense concern in Joel’s voice and see the pleading dancing in his eyes, but saying yes to him felt like steeping into fire. You still saw in Joel all the habits he picked up from you, being the pleading eyes one of the things you remembered the most, and now you could understand the implications of what your departure did to him.

His heart broke in two, just like yours.

"I appreciate the concern, Joel, but I don’t think it is fair to you," you said, your voice gentle.

“Please?” He pleaded again, his eyes sparkling so much that you could follow the light on them.

“Okay, I’ll stay.” You gave up; you couldn’t say “no” to him so many times.

You saw his dark brown eyes twinkling as he nodded, smiling at your answer.

"Thank you," Joel whispered, breaking into a small, relieved smile.

You followed him into the familiar surroundings of his home; every step felt like discovering a new way back home. A sense of warmth enveloped you, making you feel protected and comfortable in Joel´s presence.

Once you stepped into his bedroom, you took a seat on his bed, and a wave of nostalgia washed over you. The familiar scent of Joel was all over the space that you could navigate inside this wall blindfolded, and the comforting presence of him felt like a step back in time.

Joel, sensing something dancing in your eyes, opened his closet and pulled out a set of comfortable clothes. "Here, you can wear these for the night. They should be comfortable enough."

“Oh my god!” you said, looking at the shirt Joel had lent you. “You still have this?” you asked him, in awe.

Joel chuckled, the warmth of shared memories evident in his eyes. "Yeah, I kept it. It's been tucked away in the back, but I figured it might come in handy tonight."

Your fingers traced the fabric of the shirt. "I can't believe you still have it. It feels like a lifetime ago."

He smiled, a nostalgic twinkle in his eyes. "Some things are hard to let go."

For a moment, time between you stopped, and for a moment, you were still able to see the sunlight through his hair in the morning and how he sounded when he laughed. And you hoped you didn’t damage his heart that much.

"Thanks, Joel. It's been a while since I wore something from your closet." The soft fabric of the shirt still carried a subtle scent of Joel that brought back a flood of memories.

He chuckled a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. "Yeah, it has. Well, I'll let you get some rest. Goodnight, Doe."

Doe

You allowed him to call him Doe this time, pretending he was still yours and you were his.

"Goodnight, Joel," you replied, changing into the borrowed clothes. The fabric held a hint of his familiar scent, adding an extra layer of comfort as you settled beneath the covers. The bedroom door closed, leaving you in the soft embrace of memories as sleep gradually claimed you.

However, the soft glow of the moonlight spilled through the windows as you lay in bed and witnessed your sleeping trouble as you tried to find solace in the familiar surroundings of Joel’s room.

It was different. Sleeping in a bed with the scent of the man whose presence allowed you to sleep wasn’t the same when he wasn’t next to you, letting you rest your head on his chest.

So, as sleep proved elusive, and after tossing and turning for what felt like hours, you decided to go downstairs, hoping Joel was awake.

As you descended the stairs, the hushed sounds of the night filled the house. The soft creaking of the floor under your weight was the only disruption to the silence. When you reached the living room, you saw Joel sitting on the couch, his gaze fixed on an old photo album.

He seemed lost in a sea of memories, unaware of your presence. You stood there for a moment, observing the emotions playing across his face as he traced the images with his fingers, as if he were savoring the past with his fingertips, trying to bring it back.

When he finally noticed you, a small smile curled his lips. "Couldn't you sleep either?

You shook your head, joining him on the couch. "Too many thoughts."

He nodded in understanding, closing the photo album. "I get it."

Back in time, Joel had the advantage of taking your heart when it was still a blank canvas expecting to be painted on. He took it so delicately and caressed it with such care in order to never hurt you. He made you love him so much that once he wasn’t in your life anymore, you didn’t know where to put his love anymore.

It never left.

Joel's gaze remained fixed on the closed photo album in his hands. "Sometimes, I wish we could go back," he admitted, his voice a soft whisper.

You sighed, the ache of longing settling in your chest. “Back when?”

"When we were young and foolish, everything felt so alive."

As you looked at Joel, his eyes held a warmth that transcended the years. "We can't change the past, Joel," you said, your voice gentle. “The past made us what we are now.”

“Yet it cost me to lose you,” he said.

You took a seat beside him on the couch; the distance between you measured not in physical space but in the vast expanse of years and the unspoken words that lingered in the air.

"I lost you too," you replied, your voice a whisper. The weight of the shared regret hung between you, a palpable reminder of the choices that had shaped your lives. "But maybe, in losing each other, we found different paths, different versions of ourselves."

Joel's gaze remained on the photo album, his fingers tracing patterns on the closed cover. "Do you ever wonder about what we could have been?”

"Always," you confessed. "But you don’t lose me at all; I’m here again.”

A small smile played on Joel's lips. His fingers gently cupped your face, his touch a tender exploration of the years that had etched themselves on your skin. His thumb traced the contours of your cheekbones, a soft caress that spoke longing and love.

Leaning in, Joel brought his forehead to rest against yours, the closeness of your proximity stirring memories of when you belonged together. The air between you crackled with unspoken emotions, and inside your chest, you felt your broken heart patching together, with such a burning desire to close the distance between the two of you.

His lips hovered close to yours, a breath away, the pull of history and the magnetic force of shared affection urging him forward. The world outside the quiet living room ceased to exist, and you found yourself caught in the gravitational pull of an unfinished story.

But even when the kiss could rewrite the story, you weren’t a cheater. You heart raced, but your mind stopped doing something stupid and naïve.

Before you could make up your mind completely, Joel pulled back, his eyes searching yours. The unspoken words lingered in the air.

"Does he treat you right?" Joel's words hung in the air, a mix of genuine concern and a hint of vulnerability in his eyes.

You took a moment, your gaze meeting his, and there was a silent conversation between you two.

"In some ways, he's everything I need. In others, he's a puzzle I'm still figuring out." You answered.

Joel nodded, avoiding your gaze as he felt his heart break all over again for you.

“When I found out I was pregnant,” you began, “Dwight and I were dating. It had been only three months, and couples aren’t parents in such a short time.” You paused for a moment, hoping for Joel to look at you again, and when he did, you continued, “I was scared, but he was so nice to me at that moment, and by the end we were over the moon. At least I was happy I was going to have a baby girl. When Tara was born, we moved in together, and long story short, we got married because it seemed correct at the time.

“And?” Joel asked, trying to figure out when your life becomes different, but he still knew by the way your eyes looked that not everything was as fine as it seemed.

“He was an amazing husband and friend; it almost made me forget about the broken heart I had because of you. But these last four years with him had been complicated,” you continued, a touch of vulnerability in your voice.

“How?”

"Just because he is different from me. It’s like he is plotting for an ending and Tara is noticing, and it felt so humiliating to have your own daughter notice her father doesn’t love her mother.”

Joel's gaze softened for a moment, and before asking a question, he was scared to ask, “And do you love him?”

Your eyes widened at the sudden question, and a moment of hesitation hung in the air. You took a deep breath before answering.

"It's not that simple," you admitted, your voice carrying uncertainty and honesty. "I care about him, but..."

“But what?”

“You know what.” You said it in three simple words, and he understood.

It cost so much to keep love from going wrong, but between you and Joel, there wasn’t a particular ending. The lovers between you both never went wrong; neither expired because you were still hungry for each other's devotion. But now that it seemed like time had become your enemy, you weren’t young enough to break free and run as you could have done it before.

“I love you,” he said. “Never stop doing it.” His voice resonated as someone who spent years and years yearning for the touch of their lover.

“I’m sorry,” you confessed, not avoiding saying the three words back to him; he didn’t need to hear them. He already knew you loved him back as much as he loved you. “For the way I left you,”

Joel's gaze held relief and understanding. He knew somehow you had healed from those wounds. "I don't blame you, Doe. We were young, and life threw challenges at us. I've had my share of regrets too.” He reached out, his hand finding yours, and they still fit together as one. “Now, can we please be friends again?” he pleaded.

You nodded, a faint smile playing on your lips. “Now that you’re back, I couldn’t let you go.”

Joel's eyes sparkled with a newfound light, and he suggested, "How about we watch a movie until you fall asleep?"

You agreed, and together you settled on the couch. The living room was bathed in the soft glow of the TV screen, casting a warm ambiance that seemed to cocoon the two of you in a world of shared moments.

As the movie played, the silence between you held a comfort that transcended words. Joel shifted, creating a makeshift pillow with his arm, and you found a natural spot on his chest. The rise and fall of his breath became a soothing rhythm, lulling you into a sense of peace you hadn't felt in a long time without pills.

Joel looks down at your sleeping figure on his chest, with your hand grasping the gem of his shirt. He was starved by your touch, wanting nothing but to trace patterns on your face as he used to. Your soft expression lines told the story of how the past and present went from here. That there’s no one he could call home, and you could never leave home completely, and how easy it would be to be young again.

And he looked at the ring on your finger, a reminder that you weren’t his anymore, and how easy it was for someone to feel hungry by something that was forbidden. Yet he thought about the ring he still had with him, still waiting to find its way to your finger.

You were the kind of love he couldn't find on someone else's body. Your touch, your lips, and every single inch of your skin were the starvation Joel was deprived of, and now you were his forbidden fruit.

Nevertheless, under the dim light of the TV screen, your face was glowing in a soft golden tone that sent Joel to sleep, but he was holding his dream in his arms for the first time after so long.

When the morning sun gradually painted Sarah’s room with the soft hues of the warm sun, Sarah and Tara descended the stairs, their steps cautious not to disturb the tranquil air that enveloped the living room.

As they reached the bottom of the staircase, their eyes fell upon you and Joel, still intertwined on the couch, lost in peaceful sleep. Tara's eyes sparkled with genuine happiness at the sight of her mother and Joel holding each other like that.

Sarah couldn't help but notice Tara's radiant smile. "Why are you smiling so big?" she whispered to her.

Tara motioned toward you and Joel, the affectionate way in which you two held each other not escaping her keen gaze. "Look at them,” she said, still smiling.

Sarah raised an eyebrow, a teasing grin forming on her lips.

Tara nodded, her smile unwavering. "This is the first time I have seen my mom at peace.”

Tara’s gaze was still fixed on the pair on the couch. "Maybe Joel can bring that peace back to my mom’s."

Sarah chuckled, giving her friend a playful nudge. "Are you saying we should ship your mom and my dad?"

Tara rolled her eyes, but her smile remained. "I'm just saying if they make each other happy, why not?"

Weekend passed by and Tara asked no questions about why did you fell asleep on Joel’s chest, she clearly knew the answer to that question yet she didn't judge you, since she was a little girl, she noticed each sacrifice you had made for her and how you had distributed all the love you had inside your heart to her.

How bad she wanted for you to be brave enough and get divorced from her father.

So, when Monday arrived, the weight of the tension between you and Joel seemed to shift. The echoes of the weekend lingered in the air. This time, you both look happier, acting as friends, laughing together and sharing time as you kept your role of assistant.

So, before lunch and after you finished with the work Joel had left for you while he was out, you decided to go and buy lunch for him and you to share, after all you would arrive to an empty house since Tara would be still at school and Dwight was in a business trip, you didn't want be left alone with your thoughts in an empty house that seemed to become colder as the day passed by.

You buy a bottle of lemonade, and two burgers with French fries, hoping for Joel to still being number one of them. You weren’t used to come to this part of the city, but this time you stopped in order to bring the burgers and fries you wanted to share with Joel.

However, once you paid, the corner of your eye caught a person you didn't expected to see. There was Dwight, who was supposedly in New York until next weekend, buying food here. You turned away for him not to notice you, then you decided to follow him to see find out what was happening.

So, when you followed him, you stopped a little away and saw him happily taking a little girl around four years old in his arms as he kissed her temple with so much love you never saw him share with Tara, and what was next was a woman around the same age as you joining them with a smile on her face and you heart stopped.

She kissed Dwight on his lips, as both of them looked at the little girl smiling happily in the arms of your husband.

A surge of emotions tightened in your chest as you witnessed the scene unfold before your eyes. The knot of anxiety and confusion grew with each passing moment. The woman with Dwight, the affectionate exchange, and the child—all pieces of a puzzle that didn't fit into the life you thought you knew.

As the trio walked away to the car, laughter and joy enveloping them, you were left standing there, alone with the weight of a shattered reality

You felt humiliated. There were your answers. The four years of odd behavior, the four years of plotting against you, his sudden trips, his careless attitude towards you.

all the way, Dwight had made you and Tara move to Austin just for him to be closer to his other family, the secret one.

tags 💌: @joeldjarin @missladym1981 @yomiyasxx @aliengirl99

@lola8888673 @nottodaysattan @picketniffler @violinchick

@sadgirlcheesecake @caitlynsixxx

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jenctrl · 1 month ago

Text

10 - Capable of love

warning; mentions of being under the influence of alcohol, wc; 4.5k

Minji had always been looking for someone lifelong, someone to be there when she needed to be held, to be there whenever she needed it. To have someone whether a friend or partner or just anyone.

She had found someone, but they weren’t lifelong each time.

It started when she had to leave everyone behind and was sent abroad. People couldn’t go where she went—not her family, not her friends, not her old life. It wasn’t long before she settled for her temporary makeshift family, feeling momentary happiness while constantly preparing for the emptiness to come. It still hurt just as much, even if she knew it would come.

Temporary: Minji despised that, she hated the uncertainty of something not being permanent.

Then she was put under Hybe labels with the promise of a debut, yet again something temporary as each time they moved her there was an uncertainty of whether or not she would debut. She felt lost and had for a long while. Where was home?

The friends she made with other trainees never lasted, they always left and in the end, Minji stood alone in that practice room until a new group was found.

Was Minji enough to be an idol? To be a friend? A lover? A daughter? Was Minji enough to simply be allowed to exist? What defines being enough? Nothing she did ever felt like enough.

She should quit and start all over once again. It wouldn’t be the first time. She never got to finish anything as whenever she would just get started she had to leave.

Maybe she was someone who would never fit in anywhere and all her makeshift families would always wash away from the shore once the tide came. Everything she had worked on always washed away at some point and so she knew what she had to do to stop being hurt.

Minji couldn’t escape the loneliness or herself; she thought that everything that ever bothered her would be left behind once she got to a new place. It wasn’t a lie when people said that no matter where you go, you always take yourself with you.

She wasn’t an exception to this rule.

Minji couldn’t escape her biggest problem and instead dragged this burden with her like extra baggage, being aware of everything but deciding to pretend that she didn’t know left from right.

It was easier to hurt than to be hurt.

Minji decided to keep everyone at arm's length and try to be enough from far away, knowing she would never be enough when she got too close to what was her dream. Whatever her dream besides debuting was. She never had the time to figure it out. It would hurt less. There was no point in putting in an effort no matter how important it was to her because she had learned that in the end everything and everyone left and it all became a waste, the only reward being pain.

She somehow found someone difficult to keep at arm's length though. Being in high school was supposed to be the peak of her life, but she knew that wouldn’t be the case because she would debut soon. Soon enough, sooner or later, someday soon. It hurt her to know that the girl in front of her would possibly be temporary too, that they would part ways after high school and go their separate ways.

Minji had been isolated. She had been locked in a small four-walled room with each corner holding something different. It was being a trainee, making it to school, and back to the rundown dorm, but one corner stood out. One of them wasn’t boring or something she dreaded.

“It’s late, shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Then what’re you doing here?” What was Minji doing here? It was late at night and she had finished practice not long ago. That was it, she was still up because she had to work for her debut. Why wasn’t the girl in front of her sleeping? But that wasn’t the reason why she was here, was it? Minji had found a sort of comfort she had been longing for and so she found to the light whenever she needed it in her dark world.

“I’m a trainee, you’re…you’re just you.” It wasn’t meant to be something mean, Minji hoped Y/n understood. Her classmate wasn’t a trainee nor was she a child to anyone famous. She’s heard Y/n talk about acting and the longer Minji stared at the girl in front of her in the dimly lit room the more beautiful she became and the more she looked like she should be put in a drama.

It made Minji feel a little bad because something twisted in her stomach at the thought of Y/n leaving to pursue her dreams, but it also did at the thought of her debuting. No matter what, they would part ways in a few months and get busy, wouldn’t they? She wouldn’t have that little flame of warmth and hope when she needed it anymore. She was used to these things yet it still hurt each time.

Y/n let out a small laugh and the smile stayed on her lips which Minji kept admiring. It wasn’t worth telling the girl how she truly felt. Over the years Minji had thought that falling in love wouldn’t be possible because she never got to stay for long enough for it to happen.

However, she didn’t need to stay around Y/n for too long to fall in love.

It came out of nowhere, her heart one day imploded when Y/n smiled at her and it felt like oxygen was water because of how impossible it was to breathe from the overwhelming emotions.

Or maybe it was worth telling Y/n how she felt. She had already left behind so much, what was another person being lost to Minji?

“Is that bad?” Y/n questioned, her grip on Minji’s hand was tender as the brush stroked over her nails. It was late, more than late, Minji had been walking back to her dorm from practice but ended up in Y/n’s room. It became a routine. Minji would hate to lose it, but despite Y/n being hard to keep at arm's length, Minji still tried and what surprised her was that the girl didn’t seem to mind.

She was always there when Minji needed her. It was like she wanted Minji to need her.

She would lie if she said that she wasn’t exhausted, it was close to 4 am, but she chose to come and for some reason, Y/n was always awake. It made her wonder where the girl’s parents were to not mind these rendezvous. They didn’t mind Y/n walking out in the middle of the night to walk with Minji and keep her company, and they didn’t mind Y/n following Minji everywhere, anywhere, at any time.

Y/n didn’t feel real to Minji, she felt so surreal that she felt like a ghost. A part of Minji’s imagination to fill out the void that grew from loneliness. The coldness within her grew so warm, that it felt comfortable, Minji felt comfortable in her skin whenever Y/n was around. It didn’t feel real because she hated being in it, but somehow she forgot about it when Y/n would touch her skin, making it feel like gold.

“I think that's more than enough.” Y/n just being Y/n seemed to be more than enough for Minji, especially with how she was there for her, and how she made her feel okay with herself. She didn’t take it for granted, or maybe she did, but she was greedy and wanted to take as much as she could while she could. It was all slipping through her fingers because she couldn’t have someone so good, could she?

Minji wasn’t sure she deserved the girl, everything she thought she ever deserved was taken away in the end.

Her eyes moved up from the hand that was held by Y/n and she observed her. There weren’t a lot of people Minji had opened up to, but Y/n became one of the only exceptions, for the moment, for when Minji needed her.

“I don't.” She watched how Y/n didn’t seem bothered by her own words and her classmate had opened up to Minji too whenever she had been there to listen. However, it felt like she still didn’t know enough, she wanted more. “I don't think I will ever be good enough.” The girl mumbled, but Minji caught it, she caught the word that made them feel the same.

The older girl tried to find words of comfort. How did she comfort Y/n who was suffering the same troubles? Minji didn’t even know how to help herself (Y/n was her only source of hope), let alone someone else. What did seem like a good option? What did Minji want? Was she too able to make Y/n feel like she was okay in her skin with just her presence? It was hard to tell. She wanted to be able to do the same for Y/n.

Silence fell upon them, Y/n was still focused on painting Minji’s nails, it wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t enough. Minji wanted Y/n to stay, to fill that void whenever it appeared and not be temporary like everyone else. Y/n was enough, she was more than enough and made Minji feel like enough, but probably not enough for someone so perfect.

Her eyes searched for an answer as she watched the girl’s face. It made her heart race every time Y/n would glance up at her through her lashes. The girl in front of her looked like a painting of perfection, there wasn’t a single flaw on the outside and it was probably deceiving; innocent faces always were. There was only one uncertainty Minji ever felt with Y/n and it was the fact that she had yet to figure out what was beneath the surface.

Would she be able to handle it?

Her eyes stopped as she looked down at the lips that were formed into a small pout filled with self-pity and dread, with a need to disappear. She leaned in a tiny bit closer and the girl didn’t seem to mind. It was a scary leap of faith because she had yet to understand Y/n and she was determined to know every inch of her inside out. That way it would never hurt if she was prepared for the fall. She wanted to know how Y/n was able to make her feel better.

“Do you–” It was abrupt, Y/n’s breath stopped in the middle, Minji felt the brush stroke over her knuckles. She didn’t mind it as she shut her eyes tightly and for the first time acted out her burdens and put her lips on Y/n’s while gripping onto the girl’s knees, which were right under the school uniform's skirt, to keep balance. This was the closest she had managed to get to the girl, but it was physical and everything else seemed scary.

She wanted so much more from Y/n. She wanted the inside, the source where all the healing came from.

Minji had never kissed anyone, she had never had the chance or guts to do it, it took her almost 18 years, but now she knew how it felt. It felt good at the moment, she liked the way her stomach turned and tickled up to her chest which pounded in her ears. It felt good to feel Y/n’s parted lips against hers and she frowned as she leaned in closer, following the movement of the lips she was pressing against.

Y/n was kissing her back. Her mind was so occupied with Y/n’s lips and trying to decipher whether or not this was right that she couldn’t pay any mind to the tender touch at the side of her hot neck. She couldn’t pay any mind to think about what Y/n felt at the moment and what new type of burden would be placed on Minji. She could handle it, couldn’t she?

It wasn’t long until those lips were pulling away from her and it made her worried that she would be left to be alone once again. Left to hate herself even more than she had. It made her grip tighten on Y/n’s skin for a moment.

“Minji…” Y/n pulled away from her lips and she sighed before opening her eyes. Now she felt the touch on her neck, the soothing feeling of Y/n’s cold palm on her burning neck, she liked how it felt when Y/n touched her skin, the only reason why she loved it was because of the girl. Y/n was a stark contrast to Minji even if they shared similarities.

She blinked, Y/n’s eyes were shining, they looked glossy, and they reminded her of stars, they were big and pretty, a deer, those of prey and she wanted to keep them safe, keep her safe. Minji was comfortable enough to let herself go in those eyes whenever she needed it. This was her only source of comfort. She felt sick from the emotions beating through her body, she couldn’t keep it to herself and needed to fill the hole.

She received a small smile and tilted her head, leaning into Y/n’s touch who ran her fingers over her neck and cupped her cheek. She would forever remember the strong scent of nail polish lingering in the air around them, the first time she felt love. The older girl bit her lower lip, glancing down at Y/n’s lips once more and then back at her eyes.

Maybe nervousness wasn’t something that existed when you were with someone you were utterly comfortable with or maybe it came after those nights of overthinking.

“I think we should wait, you’re debuting soon.”

“I love you,” Minji added, doing her best to pursue what she needed in her life the most. The smaller girl blinked rapidly, her hand stopping the way it caressed Minji’s skin. Y/n’s chest heaved, taking in a deep breath as her eyes trembled and her lip jutted to stop it from doing so too.

“You do?” Her tone carried a faint disbelief that echoed for far longer than one would think was possible. She gave a nod of affirmation and felt her heart speed up as Y/n looked away, still blinking her eyes as the tide was approaching.

Y/n hummed, it was grainy and Minji jutted her lower lip, letting go of the girl’s knees whose forehead ended up on her shoulder. “You do?” Was it hard to believe or were the words soothing? Minji couldn’t figure it out and she never asked why the girl cried as she just wrapped her arms around Y/n whose voice sounded so frail it would shatter from the smallest breeze.

“I do love you.” What else could it have been? It has been growing for the past few years.

Those tears left a mark on Minji’s skin, they were tears she would always feel, and they would never leave her alone. The girl in her arms was engraved in her skin from that moment on. It burned, but the pain was one she would grow used to as at some point it started to feel right.

They did hold off, the older girl came to terms with it, it wasn’t something she could change as Y/n seemed to place Minji first even if Minji couldn’t do the same to the younger. At least she loved her, didn’t she? Hold off was a blur though, they should have put a clear meaning to it because they still ended up tangled with each other, but never with anything official over their names.

Minji couldn't have known the burden the words ‘I love you’ carried. She only later realised that there was a heavy burden to love a heart that was broken from the start. Minji didn't know how to mend a broken heart, how to fix it and take care of it. She didn’t even know what to do with a perfectly fine heart let alone Y/n’s yet she sat with the girl who was sobbing in her hold while coming down from a drunk high that left her more miserable than usual.

She never meant to hurt Y/n, she just wasn’t sure how to stop hurting her. Minji loved her and love never came without pain or maybe she just made it painful. She had never been around for long enough to know how it should look.

Minji couldn’t break the vicious cycle of keeping people at arm's length and isolating herself to avoid not being enough, to avoid disappointing. It hurt less to disappoint when she wasn’t there, but it always hurt the same with Y/n, but the pain was so familiar that she at times yearned for it because it got empty.

“You’re wasted…” She mumbled, somewhere between worried about her girlfriend and being caught with the wasted girl as she had managed to get her to the practice room. Her hands caressed along her body to try and calm her, but every touch made her cry so much more.

“I wouldn’t be–” A hiccup, a shuddering breath and a sniffle got in the way and Minji swallowed the bitterness of not being able to mend something broken. Could it be that she had let Y/n too close? This was all her fault, wasn’t it? She had given too much and disappointed someone once again. “If it wasn’t for you.” Y/n’s voice was thick with tears and the older girl let out a faint sigh.

“You can’t blame me for your drinking,” she softly spoke by the girl’s ear, pulling Y/n closer because, despite the mess that it felt like they were, they could still always find warmth in it. There was comfort in the familiar. Her fingers threaded through her hair, holding her all while stopping herself from breaking with her because it was her fault all over again.

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t unusual to hear those words from Y/n. Minji pursed her lips, it felt like Y/n was sorry for simply existing. All she had wanted to do was make Y/n feel how the girl made her feel, fine with herself, but she managed to do the opposite.

She gave a dismissive hum and snuck her hand under the girl's shirt to caress her back, running her fingers over the ridges of her spine while her fingers massaged Y/n’s scalp as they sat on the couch, occasionally leaving a kiss of reassurance on her forehead.

“I can blame you for how I feel.” That was something she knew, of course, Minji also knew that Y/n couldn’t blame her for everything wrong with her or them, but she was partly at fault.

“I know.”

Her skin soaked up Y/n’s tears, and the touch of warmth continued to fall against her neck as she rested her temple against Y/n’s head whose face was buried in the crook of Minji’s neck. They no longer burned like they used to, her skin was so used to them that it no longer hurt but felt good.

The small sobs echoed in the empty practice room. Minji hated this silence that was making her head buzz with uncomfortable thoughts she didn’t want to bring up. She didn’t want to talk about their problems when she couldn’t solve them; it would only make everything worse.

“Then why do you keep this up?”

“I don’t know.” Or was it because she wanted to keep Y/n around without the possibility of disappointing her? If she made sure that Y/n’s hopes were low for her then she wouldn’t hurt her girlfriend nor would she get hurt. It still always somehow hurt even if they were expecting it, it hurt even worse than when it wasn’t expected.

“It’s fine if you don’t love me.”

“Don’t say that.”

She tried to hold on because she needed the girl as much as she needed Minji, the need to fill those voids, to feel loved, to feel okay, to be able to love. However, Y/n slipped out of her grasp, it was making Minji’s heart pound harder with each second. She didn’t want Y/n to have high expectations, knowing she would never be enough as she couldn’t let her in, but she didn’t want Y/n to think like everyone else.

Minji did love, Minji loved Y/n, and she loved a lot of people, but she had never been told that she was good at it. Minji didn’t want to hear it more times, to hear that she was cold and unable to love when it wasn’t the truth. She was scared, but no one would believe her.

Minji was capable of loving.

She truly was because she loved Y/n so much it hurt.

Y/n took in a shuddering breath, wiping at her face to get rid of the tears that kept falling from her sore eyes.

Minji moved closer and gently cupped her girlfriend's face in one hand before using the sleeve of her hoodie to gently wipe at the tears. She focused her eyes on the drops falling down Y/n’s face, not being able to look her in the eye because of the guilt she couldn’t do anything about.

It was hard knowing that she kept around someone who deserved so much better than she was able to give, simply because Y/n never held it against Minji. She knew where Y/n was and how she didn’t know how much better she deserved. This love was all that she knew and Minji wished she could show her how love should be, but she couldn’t no matter how hard she seemed to try.

“I mean it, I just want you to be happy,” she could cry, but she didn’t because she knew how to keep it to herself. Y/n grabbed hold of Minji’s hands, blinking away the tears left and the idol at last looked her in the eye. She bit the tip of her tongue, she hated showing it, she wouldn’t cry because someone else was crying. Y/n being hurt wasn’t going to make her cry yet her chest felt heavy and her eyes held the urge to spill every last drop.

Someone wanted Minji to be happy, Y/n had always wanted Minji to be happy and had always put her first. All she could do was selfishly watch Y/n sacrifice so much for someone who couldn’t give back at least half yet held on.

Minji wondered how Y/n felt whenever she would stare at her and not crumble with her. Minji knew that Y/n was too good to voice it out, to call her out for how she acted. The younger girl’s lower lip jutted and she snivelled, holding back a hiccup and Minji was quick to pull her back in, knowing that Y/n wasn’t done breaking into pieces because of her.

“Please don’t leave me.”

The girl could only hum as she buried her face in Y/n’s hair, unable to let words out after hearing her tone break like ice. She pulled her girlfriend closer, wrapping her arms tightly around Y/n’s waist who straddled her and she at last could open her eyes as she managed to keep her tears at bay. The least she could do was hold her as she was too scared to break too.

Minji felt terrible, but was she if she was just trying to protect herself and Y/n? Her perception of love had become jumbled and Y/n’s perception of love had always been messed up which made perfect sense as to why they ended up together. Which explained why they stayed together. Didn’t it? Or maybe it was a last resort to cling to the least bit of love.

“Y/n…” She mumbled, trailing off as she gripped onto the girl’s waist and tried to pull her back, a shiver ran over her spine at the wet kisses that started to trail her neck. It didn’t stop though and her negligence was what led them here, the one that induced everything that was wrong right from the start.

“Please Minji.” The idol was quick to pull back and grab hold of the hands that started to wander and tug on her clothes.

“You’re drunk.” She reminded Y/n and herself, a frown grew on the latter who frowned while barely holding back her sobs. The state her girlfriend was in wasn’t the only problem at the moment. She respected Y/n more than the girl could respect herself, than she could love herself and that was probably why she settled for Minji’s backhanded love because Y/n couldn’t love herself so someone had to do it for her.

“I just want you to love me, Minji.”

The trembling of the lips that pressed against Minji’s was just a painful reminder at the moment. It was desperate, Y/n was desperate to be loved. Minji knew what she had done by keeping this up, how she had made what was broken worse. That any type of affection would satiate Y/n’s need for love. Whether it was this or a simple ‘I love you’ through text.

She kissed back, and the taste of liquor lingered strongly on Y/n’s lips, it wasn’t often that they did and tasting it was always concerning. The taste of vanilla from the lip gloss that Y/n wore intertwined with it and was there as a reminder of how they should taste so she pulled back.

“I love you, Y/n.” She mumbled as she managed to pull away and hold Y/n at a distance who looked down.

Y/n clung to the tiniest bit of affection and gave up everything for the person who threw her the bone. Minji was the lucky one.

How did she tell Y/n that she was sick of herself and the chains she couldn’t seem to break free from no matter how hard she tried? Minji felt restricted as if something was tied tighter around her neck every time she tried to move and get closer. Trying to stop keeping Y/n and everyone else at arm's length suffocated her.

“I can walk you to the elevator, I think it would be better if you got home, baby.” She didn’t get any words from the girl who only nodded and moved away from her. She’d always listen to every word she told her. Tonight wasn’t the night Minji could handle it, where she could move past all her fears for Y/n. It only made everything ache instead.

masterlist | next

a/n; dont hate on me for this shit 😰we're gonna get through this together yall 💪leave any thoughts too :D

taglist! - @yxlis @pandafuriosa60 @sixflame438 @drvirgus @baelabong @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @dollydigital @yncoreee @multiliker @yoontoonwhs @dreamingst99 @1luvkarina @gayforalll @gtfoiydlyj @celestialsequels @starstruckgoateepuppy @yeetaberry127 @kimminjiissosjdirbidnsjje @onlyhyunjin @awkwardtoafault @jisooftme @phamianaz @luvvhaerin @jennasluma @justdelulumeh

#newjeans smau #newjeans x reader #newjeans minji #minji x reader #minji imagines #newjeans #kim minji x reader #kpop smau #newjeans fanfic #kpop gg #newjeans imagines #newjeans minji x reader #idol x reader

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occasionallyhappy6 · 5 months ago

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I am just feeling so overwhelmed and emotional after hearing Taylor speak at the SAG panel . The way Taylor understands that life is not all about a moment of fame or a poster / magazine appearance. When he said that he has accomplished it all and has realized how hollow those dreams felt like, believe me I understood TZP has figured out the secret to peaceful happy life.

He realizes that given his privilege he has the power to be a bearer of change, to not take up roles for momentary fame but to take up roles that stand for something he believes in.

His audition story, how every experience has shaped him towards where he is today. His awareness about his field of work and how he wants to portray himself is so impressive.

His instagram caption about reconnecting with nature shows he has sorted out his priorities and really he is " protecting his peace" .

In all these years of stannig celebrities , I have never come across such a personality like TZP who has really understood the assignment of becoming a celebrity- a person with a platform to bring happiness to people and change in society through their work . I really learn a lot from him everyday , following him has been one of the best decisions.

Taylor Zakhar Perez deserves all the appreciation and love. It's impossible not to love and respect him. I love you TZP.

#taylor zakhar perez #tzp

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lovemadethemdoit · 1 year ago

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Hangster FIC RECS (complete fics only!) 🤠💘🐓

There are some high-quality long fics in this fandom and I’m sharing my faves with you because I’m nice (and selfish and want these authors to write more fics, duh.). Promise me one thing though? If you read a fic off my list and love it? Leave a comment for the author. They’ll be PSYCHED and write more. Possibly.

Okay, let’s go. More than 30 hangster fics for you to read. 😍😍😍

Under the cut. Feel free to reblog this post far and wide to energize this fandom, too!

********* wanting (18641 words) by bottledyarn

Additional Tags: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Internalized Homophobia, Pining, Banter, Slow Burn, Getting Together, First Kiss, Suicidal Thoughts, Jake "Hangman" Seresin Needs a Hug, Canon Timeline, Canon Compliant, POV Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Emotionally Repressed, 5+1 Things, Sort Of, 6+2 things, Jake can't emote and I can't count, Character Study

Summary:

Six times Jake Seresin assumes Bradley Bradshaw is something he can want but can't have, and how he learns the truth.

Jake Seresin is very good at a few things. Flying, obviously. Pissing people off. Wanting things he can't have.

But he's never been very good at dealing with Bradley Bradshaw.

During the mission, Jake is just trying his best to be better.

***

hold me through the shakes (7477 words) by spiritsontheroof

Additional Tags: Hurt Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Mentally, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Canon, Pining Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Exes, Getting Back Together, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Nightmares, Canon-Typical Violence, it's like. lightly discussed, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary:

Bradley spills hot coffee on his hand three days into their post-mission leave.

It’s not until he can’t get the bandage over the blister that he realizes his hands are shaking.

***

I Long For You (To Hold Me Ardently) (10265 words) by perishablealex

Additional Tags: POV Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Canon Compliant, Light Angst, Pining, Kinda?, Smut, Getting Together

Summary:

“We don't have to talk about it.” His eyes dart away from Bradley’s face, afraid that they will betray just how much he wants to talk about it, that they will reveal the vulnerability Jake feels in that moment, caught in a momentary suspension of time. The moment feels unreal with the golden light pouring over piano tiles long forgotten in his childhood, the man at his side that feels close enough to reach but not quite hold, the way that time stretches like molasses, sweet yet torturously slow and thick.

“I think we should, don’t you?”

Or: Rooster and Hangman sleep together after the mission without realizing that it may not have been meaningless for either of them.

***

No One Can Find The Rewind Button (71073 words) by FabuMazX

Additional Tags: Mpreg, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Slow Burn, Accidental Pregnancy, Mentions of miscarriage, IceMav are the best granddads

Summary:

It was only one night. But that's all it takes, isn't it?

Bradley and Jake are on good terms since the mission. Friends even. But they're not together, not like that. So why the universe decided to force them together with an unexpected surprise is anybody's guess.

***

something to be sheltered (19075 words) by MayWilder

Additional Tags: Found Family, Post-Mission, Meet the Family, Beau "Cyclone" Simpson is a Softie, Jake "Hangman" Seresin Needs a Hug, Jake "Hangman" Seresin Has Daddy Issues, Married Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary, no beta we die like goose, Father-Son Relationship, Light Angst

Series: Part 2 of Feels Like Home

Summary:

“My wife has asked that you join us for dinner tomorrow night,” Beau says carefully.

“Your wife, sir?” Jake’s brow furrows. “Why would she like to meet me?”

“She thinks its important that my mentee sees a healthy work-life balance.”

“I’m your mentee?” Jake teases, smirking lightly. “And you talk about me enough that your wife wants to meet me?”

“You can continue to be a pain in my ass,” Beau sighs, looking up at the ceiling. “Or, you can take the offer of a free dinner with a beautiful and intellectually stimulating woman.”

“Oh, I definitely want to see this side of Cyclone,” Jake grins. “Domesticated.”

“You’re bordering on impertinence.”

“Me? Never.”

“Let’s go back to when you respected me and my position.”

Jake appears to settle down, but only slightly. He clears his throat and squares his shoulders. “I’d be honored to attend dinner with your family, Admiral. Just tell me a date and time.”

*** or, Beau Simpson didn't mean to adopt a fully grown naval aviator, but, you know; shit happens.

***

flames look beautiful (if you forget what they can do) (8359 words) by Ravens_Words

Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Protective Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Protective Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Protective Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Idiots in Love, Getting Back Together, Background Relationships, Hints at IceMav, Hints at BobNix

Summary:

Bradley Bradshaw returns to consciousness with a gasp, hand going to his side, where a searing pain makes itself known.

"-ster, hey," Jake snaps, holds his face in both hands and forces him to look his way, "breathe."

Bradley does as he's told, as painful as it is, and his vision clears somewhat. Jake's crouched beside him, concern etched on his face, and what happened comes back to him in flashes.

The mission going sideways at every possible turn, seeing Jake's plane get shot down in the sky, the less than smooth emergency landing in the woods that followed.

***

Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away? (48614 words) by LoveMadeThemDoIt

Additional Tags: Jake Seresin Has Daddy Issues, Homophobia, Emotional Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Found Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jake POV, Bradley POV, Protective Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw, Protective Javy “Coyote” Machado, Protective Natasha “Phoenix” Trace, Self-Denial, Jake “Hangman” Seresin Needs A Hug, Threats of Violence, Blackmail, Homophobic Slurs, Dissociation, Training Accidents, Jake is in the hospital at some point but he’ll be fine, Bradley makes sure Jake gets sleep, navy inaccuracies, Closeted Character, a dusting of IceMav, Beau „Cyclone“ Simpson is a softie, First Time, Anal Sex, Bottom Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw, Post-Canon, Gay Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Bisexual Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Jake "Hangman" Seresin Has Bad Parents, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Self-Worth Issues, Happy Ending, Slow Burn, the movie plot is maybe three paragraphs at the beginning but this is POST-CANON

Summary:

Jake has no illusions he’ll come back from this mission. He’s the best fighter pilot the Navy has got on staff and this is not his ego talking. He’ll fly the mission, and it’ll be a shit show, because none of them have even managed to fly the simulation in the way they need to.

In his weaker moments, Jake wonders if his father is how he’s gotten this gig.

***

baby, I'm howlin' for you (87473 words) by hangmanbradshaw

Additional Tags: Werewolves, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Supernatural Elements, Full Shift Werewolves, think teen wolf meets twilight meets vampire diaries, Vampires, Witches, Werewolf Hunters, it's got all the things, they can shift but any romance stuff happens as humans fyi, Slow Burn, POV Alternating, Protective Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Possessive Behavior, also there's alphas and stuff but it's not abo, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Arranged Marriage, kind of, Also this takes place in like a medieval setting a la game of thrones, rut but not the sexy kind more the cuddly kind, Hand Jobs, Smut, Mating Bites, Accidental Voyeurism, Kinda, Top Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Bottom Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary:

His smirk widened. He may not have been happy about this, but he could appreciate that Bradley gave as good as he got. “I am good, Rooster. I’m very good.”

Bradley stared at him, expression battling between annoyance and what appeared to be a slight amount of amusement and intrigue. Jake continued, “Say, how does a werewolf get the nickname Rooster anyhow?”

Bradley raised an eyebrow. “That’s none of your business.”

The Wolves & Foxes AU

***

When you're ready (45445 words) by The_Splendid_Wren

Additional Tags: I know you all saw it too, Idiots in Love, Hangman is actually not a dick, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rooster POV, Father-Son Relationship, Maverick is just trying to make Goose proud, Phoenix is a bro, Lots of staring into the scenery, Eventual Smut, Finally I have a reason to obsess over Top Gun again, References to Canon, Post-Canon, did i mention Hangman is a momma's boy?, not beta read we die like men, Slow Burn, Homophobic Language, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Therapy is good for everyone

Summary:

After the suicide-mission-that-wasn't the pilots of TOP GUN go their separate ways to enjoy a much earned week of leave. Rooster is set to spend his time with Maverick in an attempt to rekindle their familial relationship but it gets complicated when unresolved trauma from nearly dying keeps him from truly opening up. With a host of other issues like his unknown next assignment and his feelings for a rival paralyzing him, he truly has no idea how he ends up at the Seresin ranch house in Austin, Texas with the object of his desires right in front of him.

Or, Rooster is suffering PTSD and his friends and family try to help him. Whether that's getting therapy or confessing his very deeply buried feelings remains to be seen.

***

I will love you, dear, forever (17574 words) by FlowersOnMyMind

Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Alpha Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Explicit Sexual Content, Jake loves Bradley so much, Dagger Squad, Found Family, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Pining, mentioned icemav - Freeform, brief bobnix, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Pining Jake

Summary:

"Do you have someone to take care of you?" Jake asks.

"Are you offering, Seresin?"

"Are you asking, Bradshaw?"

Jake and Bradley help each other through their ruts and heats.

Jake pines.

***

You Love Him, and No One Else (50269 words) by Sceld

Additional Tags: Pining, LIKE TOO MUCH, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, just a collection of tropes because I Am Cringe, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mostly Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, oh yeah and lots of it, very gay, derogatorily, Family Issues, Idiots in Love, idiots in general honestly, i hate it too don't worry, First Dates, but unofficially, Bad Cooking, Meeting the Parents, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Past Child Abuse, not graphic though, Slow Burn, First Kiss, Baking, Hopeful Ending

Summary:

“I’ve got it,” Jake offers, holding his hand out, but Rooster only tuts disappointedly.

“What kind of host would I be if I made you carry your own bag?”

Jake blanks on a response, his mouth twisting into a smile without his permission. Rooster turns to where Jake can now see the Bronco. Its engine is still running, and it’s warm inside when Jake closes the door behind him, clicking on his seatbelt by feeling along while he stares intently at the glove compartment in front of him, waiting while Rooster puts his bag in the boot. He doesn’t feel as weird as he thought he would, as he probably should. Every conflicting feeling from the F-14 is returning in waves. He’s helpless to resist the pull of the tide. It’s terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

or;

Jake's apartment floods and his only other option is to stay with the last person in the world he wants to spend time with. Shenanigans ensue.

***

there's money for the taking (and the happiness we all deserve) (64769 words) by thegeckbros

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Age Difference, it's 10ish years, Past Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Power Dynamics, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Casual Sex, author built a very elaborate world for like no reason, Tags May Change, Humor, or at least i like to hope, Explicit Sexual Content, Daddy Kink, like it’s a sugar DADDY au so it comes w the territory but still it’s there and it’s heavy

Summary:

“So, what, one of the richest dudes in New York wants to be your sugar daddy?”

“Kinda?” Jake sits back up, straightening up and turning his body towards Javy. “He doesn’t want like sex or anything. He just needs someone to pretend to date so his uncle and PR team get off his back about his reputation.”

a sugar daddy au in which jake is a struggling law student, bradley's a billionaire, and they weave a tangled web

***

Speak Softly, Love (67000 words) by Renai_chan

Additional Tags: Mafia AU, Iceman is a Mob Boss, Bradley is his heir, Icemav adore Jake, goose and carole are alive because i said so, Violence, Blood and Injury, tags to be updated as I go, Tattoos, Suit Kink, Lingerie, Rimming, Polyglot Bradley, Gun Violence, Revenge

Summary:

Jake leaves behind his crappy life in Texas and moves to California. There, he meets Bradley, a gorgeous man who works at a charity helping the homeless. They fall in love, and everything is sunshine and rainbows until he learns that Bradley is, in fact, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, heir to the empire of his godfather, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, who rules the underbelly of Los Angeles with ice-cold ruthlessness. Suddenly, Jake find himself embroiled in the dangers of the LA Mafia

***

Forever your begonia (17576 words) by MerielTLA

Additional Tags: Idiots in Love, Enemies to Lovers, Secret Crush, Secret Admirer, Flowers, Language of Flowers, Jake "Hangman" Seresin is a Little Shit, Texan Jake "Hangman" Seresin, no beta we die like goose, Jake needs some romance in his life, Rooster is bad at feelings, unrequired required love, Emotional Constipation, This came out of nowhere, don´t blame me, Ice is alive, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky Lives

Summary:

“This is not for me.” Mickey grinned like a fucking maniac as he held out a small envelope for everyone to see, pointing at the signature in it.

Jake.

The blond felt his world tilt as he frowned at the offending four letters of his name. What. The. Fuck. He pulled the card away from the other´s hand as he looked at the fancy lettering in horrified amazement.

“Oh my GOD! Bagman has an admirer?!” Paybay yelled

Jake Hangman Seresin had never gotten flowers...until he did.

***

hanging on to ambiguity

(34033 words) by

haridwar

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Lifeguard Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Surfer Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, First Aid, Head Injury, Mutual Pining, Protective Javy "Coyote" Machado, Protective Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Miscommunication, they're bad at talking again, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Multiple, Breaking Up & Making Up, Implied/Referenced Sex, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky Lives, Married Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Drunkenness, drunk Jake is a mess, Natasha "Phoenix" Trace is So Done, Hurt Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Jake "Hangman" Seresin Has Daddy Issues, Parental Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Unhealthy Relationships, you might not like Bradley in this one (but you can still love him), Hospitalization, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, everyone gets therapy

Summary:

an accident on the beach, a lifeguard to the rescue, and the repercussions of an unexpected reunion

***

it seemed so natural, darling, that you and I are here (20181 words) by haridwar

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Pilot Bradley Bradshaw, Las Vegas Wedding, Accidental Marriage, Drunken Shenanigans, Memory Loss, the inherent awkwardness of having a crush on the guy you're married to, Javy "Coyote" Machado is a Good Friend, Bradley gets his own Javy to hang out with, Sexual Content, Jealous Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, POV Alternating

Summary:

“Did we really do this?” Bradley asked. It was the first thing he had said since Jake’s brainwave and Jake was not a fan of how upset he sounded. “Are we- did we get married?”

or: what happens in Vegas...

***

you were almost too much for me (9648 words) by haridwar

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Bodyguard Bradley, Past Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw/Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Returning Home, Post-Break Up, Love Confessions, Jealous Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Wealthy Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Arguing, Reconciliation, Hopeful Ending

Summary:

Jake’s ex works for his father and that complicates things when he heads back home after The Mission ***

Men Like Us (41265 words) by DancingDisaster

Additional Tags: Breaking Up & Making Up, Getting Back Together, All aboard the Bradshaw-Seresin Shitshow Extravaganza, Idiots in Love, Ice Lives By Popular Demand, A romantic dramedy about two Idiot Flyboys

Summary:

Seresin men love with reckless abandon. It’s put every man before him in the ground.

Jake refuses to be buried.

He flies like he has nothing left to lose (he doesn’t), a one man army (he is), leaving everyone else in the dust (so they don’t leave him). Admiral Kazansky claps him on the shoulder, says he expects great things from him, and Jake’s smile is feral as the rest of his flight school cohort looks on in disbelief.

Hangman, they all say, like Jake’s entire personality was a long con, and he ranks first in class.

Rooster doesn’t look at all.

(They've got history spanning the better part of a decade and they are absolutely, positively not over it.)

***

like shooting stars (12737 words) by bottledyarn

Additional Tags: Fluff, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Anxious Jake "Hangman" Seresin, POV Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Texas, Texan Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, Getting Together, Soft Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Post-Canon, Just a little pretend relationship, as a treat, Only One Bed

Summary:

“Well," the gate agent said. "Only uniformed military members and their spouses can board priority, but—”

“That works out,” Bradshaw said, his voice tinny and distant in Jake's ringing ears. “Because this is my fiancé.”

If Jake hadn’t been able to choke down a piece of toast this morning, he thought he might be light-headed enough to just pass out right then and there.

Jake is trying to fly home for Thanksgiving and not have a panic attack on the airplane. Bradley is trying to skip town and spend the holiday in a mountain cabin to distract from another Thanksgiving alone. Between the two of them, they might both get where they need to go.

***

learning steps (20530 words) by vannral

Additional Tags: Friendship, Getting Together, Oblivious Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Idiots in Love, Pining, POV Outsider, Instructor!Bradley, Teaching, Protective Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Students, Reunions, Eventual Sex, Happy Ending

Summary:

”So, an instructor?”

A straight hit. Bradley shifts uncomfortably on the leather seat and clears his throat. ”… Yeah.”

In which Bradley becomes an instructor after the mission, Jake keeps showing up to his classes and his students are very curious about their dynamic.

***

unsportsmanlike conduct (16871 words) by ginnydear

Additional Tags: alternative universe, NFL, Enemies to Lovers, Bickering, Minor Injuries, Sexual Content, tweets as a plot device, everyone's alive because I say so

Summary:

He didn’t expect there to be highlight reels of him and Jake Seresin arguing and jawing at each other after their first game against each other. His Uncle Mav’s recorded it, saying it’s the beginning of his long, successful career - to have a rival.

Bradley thinks it’s a pain in the ass.

or - the hangster nfl au

***

one foot left, and then we're going down swinging (15944 words) by SaintClaire

Additional Tags: Dagger Squad, I put Hangman through the washing machine, but he's fine he comes back out, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky Lives, this is my sand pit, Found Family, life affirming kissing but everyone's pants stay on, for now, attempted abuse of barnyard poultry (not by Hangman), the horse lives, uhhh I don't think this is whump because I kiss it better, but if not let me know, damn good piloting skills, everyone has emotions

Summary:

“I’m still here.” he says, because it helps Bradley to be reminded sometimes. For all he’ll mouth off about Jake never shutting up, the sound of Jake’s voice can get him to drop the rigid set of his shoulders and relax, sit a little easier in the cockpit. “Still on your wing, Roo, just a little further away than normal.”

Jake gets shot down on a mission, tracker blown to smithereens and on his own in enemy territory. The thing about Hangman is that he might be a damn good pilot but that means he comes with the bloody-mindedness to see his shit through. He's got a family to get back to.

***

all my roads lead back to you (17094 words) by liadan14

Additional Tags: Secret Relationship, Secret Marriage, nonchronological storytelling, Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw Needs A Hug, Jake Seresin Needs A Hug, Communication via interior design, Accidental Marriage, the inherent romanticism of joint financial decisions, Alternate Universe: they weren't exes during the movie, they were just very bad at being a couple, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Size Kink, Jake pavlovs Bradley into having a size kink, just trust me on that last one, outsider pov, Relationship Reveal, Polyamory Negotiations, implied threesome, Implied past Icemav, Current Mav/Penny, Maverick about extremely unhealthy relationships: it was acceptable in the 80s, Penny and Bob are vying for the only braincell in the team championship

Summary:

“Where does this leave us?” Bradley asks eventually.

Jake snorts. “In what way?”

Bradley shrugs. “I don’t know. Emotionally, physically. Legally.”

Jake thinks he might be dizzy. He hasn’t drunk that much tonight, but he has been wondering about the answers to that question for a long time. Finally talking about it…it barely even feels real. “Let’s start with the last one,” he says. “That sounds like the easiest part.”

“Well,” Bradley says gamely. “Legally speaking, I think we’re, like, one piece of paper away from being married.”

***

never had a heart to mend (3735 words) by un_familiar

Additional Tags: Miscommunication, Cheating, (but not really i swear), Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, sorry this took a month to write thats embarrassing, Post-Canon, what do you call pining when youre already dating them, sorry about this (lying)

Summary:

Bradley won’t stop looking at him with concern, laying kisses on his bare back and asking softly, “Are you okay,” until Jake wants to scream You know what you’re fucking doing to me, but he can’t or he won’t and he’s never felt this helpless in his life. The best he can manage is a soft, “Just tired,” turning back into Bradley’s embrace and thinking God, just let me keep this.

***

of a feather (2501 words) by lilgreyarea

Additional Tags: Kid Fic, Halloween, Trick or Treating, Fluff, Post-Canon, Getting Together, (kinda), idk it’s just cute fluffy nonsense

Summary:

jake and his three-year-old daughter, sophie, run into bradley while trick-or-treating

***

The death of piece of mind (27595 words) by MerielTLA

Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky Lives, Rooster is bad at feelings, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Amnesia, I blame the title song, Protective Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Injured Rooster, no beta we die like goose, Miscommunication, Fluff and Angst, Fluff, It was supposed to be heavier but it evolved on its own, Hangster, sereshaw, IceMav, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon

Summary:

Last time he had seen Jake, had been fourteen months ago. More than a year since Bradley had escaped, like a coward, and had completely lost contact with the man his body missed with a strength that terrified him. The man that had been there for him as he had woken up, disoriented and scared. The man that had taken care of him, as he fought against his ruined leg and a fucked-up mind.

The one he had abandoned, at the first chance he got.

The man that was his husband, the one he didn’t remember.

Or Bradley left after losing his memory and forgetting his relationship with Jake, but now he has begun to remember and it's time to get his hubby back. ***

How do you like your coffee? (23355 words) by WaffleToaster

Additional Tags: Memory Loss, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Accidents, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Smut, Sex, Established Relationship, Developing Relationship, Injury Recovery, Tooth-Rotting Fluff

Summary:

Javy receives the first call after Jake makes an emergency landing on the tarmac and Bradley has to deal with the complications that arise.

“Do we get along now?”

“We do, yes. We’re.. good friends.”

“That’s good. Cause you seem like a nice guy, Rooster.” ***

lover be good to me (18920 words) by haridwar

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Baker Bradley, Long-Distance Relationship, Birthday Fluff, like literally so much of it, this one is super birthday centric, Strangers to Lovers, Married Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, as per usual, Parental Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, POV Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Soft Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Sex Toys, Relationship Reveal

Summary:

Jake picks a random coffee shop to go be pensive in when he receives a birthday card he doesn't want and things turn out better than he ever could have imagined

***

you hang me up, unfinished (with the better part of me no longer mine)

(13140 words) by un_familiar

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Getting Together, Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Character Study, javy is the best friend ever, POV Jake "Hangman" Seresin, Jealousy, eventually, complete and total abuse of italics, Pining, the absolute minimum research went into this, do not look too closely at it!, Jake Is A Menace All Of The Time, javy and natasha are sick of them!, Miscommunication, Eventual Fluff

Summary:

There are a million things standing between Jake Seresin and his soulmate–gender, Jake’s tendency to overthink and run his mouth, the fact that his soulmark is high up on his ribs, hidden, the bruises his dad leaves, but the biggest one is probably the simple fact that he has no idea how to love. ***

Got to Make It on My Own (14196 words) by Renai_chan

Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Bradley, Omega Jake, Alpha Javy, Accidental Bonding, Drunk Sex, Ex-Somethings, One Night Stands, The Inherent Dubiousness of ABO, Platonic Sex, Javy is the BEST Bro, Marking, Biting, Bonding, Being an asshole as a coping mechanism, Jealous Bradley, Knotting, Idiot Men who Don't Communicate, Angst, Happy Ending

Summary:

Jake and Bradley spend one night together under the heavy, heavy influence of alcohol. It does not go well. But it goes worse for Jake than it does for Bradley because he wakes up with a bonding bite and his new alpha nowhere to be found.

When they're recalled for a special training detachment eight years later, Jake finds out that Bradley doesn't remember giving him the bite at all and Bradley finds out about it for the first time.

It still does not go well. ***

the long way home (5982 words) by nocturnelight

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Canon, Parental Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Parental Tom "Iceman" Kazansky, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky & Pete "Maverick" Mitchell Raise Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw, Tom "Iceman" Kazansky Lives, Married Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Jake "Hangman" Seresin Needs a Hug, Healing, Therapy, And love communicated through scrambled eggs

Summary:

Jake and Bradley had come in late last night and settled into the guest room of Maverick and Iceman’s beach house. Jake had driven them both up at Pete and Tom’s insistence after Mav’s voice on the phone and Jake’s hand running up and down his back hadn’t been enough to get Bradley to stop shaking when he’d woken up screaming from a nightmare.

He's hoping being there will be good for Bradley, maybe finally get him to talk about how he's been feeling. Because Bradley's the one who's bottling everything up.

And Jake is perfectly fine. He swears.

ENJOY READING! LEAVE COMMENTS FOR THE WRITERS. WOHOO!!

#hangster #sereshaw #hangaroo #top gun maverick #fic rec list #fic recs #hangster fic recs #fanfiction

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lifeonthemurdersim · 2 months ago

Text

Will Leave the Whole World Blind Fandom/Universe: Boyfriend To Death Characters/Pairing: Strade x Ren Hana x Reader AO3 Link(full tags, warnings etc here) Word count: 1,863 words Synopsis: Strade already knows how he's going to punish you. That is until Ren interrupts, and suddenly he has to work on an impromptu change of plans. Author's Note: NON-CON WARNING. HORRORPORN WARNING. Take breaks if you need and don't use it to hurt yourself, thank you. More about Gorekinktober on my pinned post here. Kinktober prompt(s) used: Double Penetration Goretober prompt used: Eyeless

"Have you ever heard the expression "an eye for an eye"?" Strade asked as he looked down upon you, knife still glistening with the blood from his own neck raised in his hand.

Maybe you hadn't made the best string of choices here. Whether it was the fact you let him touch you, pulled in by the hint of arousal amidst so much pain, and pin you down willingly, or the fact you decided that was the time to strike with the knife you'd been concealing, you'd definitely fucked up somewhere. His hand that wasn't holding the knife took hold of your forehead and slammed your head down hard against the cement.

"Nnuh- ah... wait..." you responded, but to no avail as he lowered the bloody knife to your face, the cold blade sending tingles across your cheek. You were too terrified of what he was about to do to even look away, and your heart was still beating rapidly from the adrenaline brought on both by the pain, and the momentary pleasure you'd given in to.

"I know it's meant to be more... ah... figurative." he continued, teasing your lower eyelid with the sharp tip of your knife. "But I've always liked the image..." You were just about to scream at him to stop when there was another interruption entirely.

"...Strade?" said a nervous voice from the ajar door at the top of the stairs.

Strade muttered what sounded like obscenities in his mother tongue under his breath. But then he looked at you for a moment, and his demeanour shifted, a sadistic smile spreading over his features. "Ren! What a lovely surprise!" he replied. "Please join me, we are going to have some fun now!" he told him cheerily, drawing back his knife, looking down at you on the floor beneath him and then beckoning the beastkin down the stairs.

Ren stepped down to him as he was told, but then looked down at you, hesitantly. "I... I'm not sure about... doing the sorts of things... you do in the videos..." he replied quietly, adjusting his glasses and looking uncomfortable.

"Different kind of fun, friend!" Strade hinted, raising his brows at the younger man and then giving him a wink. At that Ren perked up just a little, looking over you with interest. All of you, his eyes lingering for quite some time.

"Do you... want me to undress them?" he asked in a less frightened and far more intrigued tone.

Strade laughed and shook his head. "You are thinking of doing this the boring way, Ren!" he chided. "No no, I have something much better, do not worry!" He let out a happy little hum as he raised up the curved, jagged blade thoughtfully once more.

"What... what are you... going to do?" Ren asked; frowning slightly in confusion.

"I will take care of this part." Strade assured him. "Though if you watch closely, you may learn a thing or two~!" Ren paused and looked at you guiltily, but then stepped back, mouthing a quiet "Sorry." as Strade leaned down closer to you.

"What-" you began, only to be silenced as he clamped a hand tight over your mouth.

"I do so enjoy your screams..." he began. Ren's expression shifted slightly, a hint of jealousy in his eyes as he hovered behind Strade. "However, I'm afraid you may scare the fox, so let us have some restraint, yes?" He pushed hard so your protests became muffled grunts in his palm. "Ren, duct tape!" he barked. The other turned and did as he was told, searching until he found some. He found the end using his teeth and ran it across your face so smoothly that it overtook his hand before you could even use the intervening gap to say anything. You tried to speak again but the tape was even more effective than his hand. Strade clicked his tongue disapprovingly, and it was unclear if he was unhappy that you were still trying to protest or that he couldn't hear it, but he tore the tape with a sharp sound right beside your ear.

Looking at you thoughtfully, he began to climb off of you, maneuvering you to your knees as your protests went unheard but for muffled grunts, tieing you back to the pole in that position. "Perfect!" he replied with a happy little smile.

You sobbed defeatedly as he advanced on you with the knife again, only this time there was no warning, no gentle teasing with the tip, no time for you to even move, he leant forward and thrusted right in with a sawing motion. You screamed into the tape as the searing white-hot pain hit you and blood began to absolutely pour down your face, your field of vision halved instantly. You writhed hard but you couldn't move much with your arms tied so there was little you could do to stop him as he worked the knife all the way around your eyeball. When he'd sawed around the full circumference, he drew the blade away, only to replace it with clawed fingers shoved straight into your ruined eye socket, pulling out a mess that had once been your eye.

"Hahahaaaa... look!" he commented enthusiastically, holding it up in front of your face and letting it swing gently like a pendulum. You leaned away as best you could. "Look!" he added to Ren, waving it in his face too. Ren cowered a little, but nodded. "Hmm." he replied, sounding dissatisfied with both of your reactions. "I think that saying may be no good, freunds." he sighed. "I don't feel even yet."

You shook your head, terrified, tears leaking from your remaining eye as he tossed the other aside, Ren's eyes flicking towards it with a vague expression of nausea. Strade lent down and licked the tear up the side of your face, appearing to relish it. He then held the blade to the bleeding hole where the other eye had once been. You braced yourself, ready for what you were assuming would be the deadly impact. "Luckily for you..." he said in a chipper tone, grinning the wide grin that raised his eyes up into happy crescents, only for his face to drop back into a vindictive look. "We need two holes."

Realising his intentions, you began to shake your head harder, letting out more closed-mouth protests. "Now now." Strade replied disapprovingly, gripping at your hair to keep you still. "I'm sure you'd rather this be kept accurate." You were fairly certain nothing could make this more preferable, but you also knew there was little you could do as he held you still and began to cut around your remaining eye, the pain as blinding as the action; as soon as he severed the nerves, your vision was gone entirely.

"Nmm." you whimpered defeatedly as you were plunged into blackness. You could still feel the pain though, the pressure of the cutting, the blood dripping down your face, and the sharp pull as Strade ripped out your other eye, this time you heard a soft flump noise as he tossed it straight to the ground. You felt dizzy from the blood loss, your body slumping back against the pole in your kneeled position.

"See? Two holes!" you heard Strade call to Ren cheerily as he let go of your hair, though you couldn't see a thing anymore. "A little shallow for me... you should have less of a problem, nein?"

"I..." Ren gasped, sounding a little shellshocked, then there was a rather awkward silence. "Strade... this... this is OK... to do, right...?" you heard him mumble.

"Oh, you soft-hearted little thing." Strade replied, tutting again, and you heard a pause, then a soft, wet sound. Kissing. A quiet shifting of hands across fabric. Touching. A soft moan from Ren, Strade speaking between more kisses. To his neck, perhaps, or his shoulder. "I know you need this." he said in a low, slightly seductive growl, leaving another silence while you were overtaken by too much pain to even attempt to sleep, before snapping right back to his usual excitable demeanour. "Enjoy, OK?!" You heard a single step closer, and his hand grabbed once more for your hair, tilting your head towards the side Ren was on. There was a shift, clothing being pulled upward, downward. You jolted as a soft tail brushed your shoulder, and a hand smaller than Strade's stroked your face. You could hear Ren's heavy breathing above you. Then you felt a strong mix of pain and pressure as he rubbed the tip of his cock around your eye socket with a groan. You tried to cry out but it was muffled entirely by the tape. "Good!" Strade urged Ren.

"Mmhmm~" Ren replied, a cross between an agreement and a downright moan, and interlinked his fingers between Strades so his too were in your hair, only he gripped harder, bringing himself into your socket with a much more defined thrust and a high-pitched growl. You absolutely screamed in pain, but again the tape held the noise level back. As the fox got a taste of the feeling he began to thrust faster, and Strade let go of your head to allow him to take control.

"This may be a little difficult." he explained, as you heard the clink of him undoing his belt. "But we shall try, hmm?" A sickly feeling filled your chest at the fact this pain had yet to be doubled. Ren was jostled slightly as Strade presumably nestled in beside him, the two likely vying for space. Ren was encouraged to penetrate from a different angle, but he didn't stop, in fact he moaned out louder each time the ridge of his cock caught against the side of your empty, bloodied socket. You heard and felt the squelch as Strade pushed himself into the other side, large, hard and certainly lacking Ren's initial hesitance.

As they both continued to fuck the spaces where you'd once looked out at the world from, tossing your head back and forth like a rag doll, more blood was forced from you and you began to grow more and more woozy, fading in and out of consciousness. So you weren't even sure how long it'd been when both men's noises started to rise in intensity, Ren's sharp nails clawing at your scalp as he let out desperate whimpers, Strade reaching for your throat and gripping hard with loud, gruff moans. "Hold on, Ren!" he warned breathily. "Hold on just a little longer for me, yes?!"

The same warning forced you to cling to life, although you could feel it fading from you with every torturous second. Your mind almost willed the reprieve but your body still fought hard through the pain. It was your captors who found relief first though, Ren with a loud, howl-like cry and Strade with whispers of fragmented German and a hard groan as both spurted into your sockets, the thick, sticky liquid dripping down your face as it mingled with the blood and ran down to your neck. It was visceral, painful, horrific, disgusting...

...and the last thing you ever felt.

End note: that one lands, right? Outlet, socket...?

#boyfriend to death fanfic #boyfriend to death #boyfriend to death strade #strade #btd strade #murder sim #btd #ren hana #strade x reader #ren hana x reader #strade x ren x reader #tw noncon #tw sa #tw gore #tw violence #tw eye horror

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l-in-the-light · 1 month ago

Note

I love the Heart Pirates 🥰♥️. Would you write sth for the relationship Law and his crew (especially Bepo🐻)? Does Law love his crew just the same as he loves Cora?

Sure, this will be that post :D there isn't that many Hearts Pirates scenes in the manga, so it will probably end up being more Hearts appreciation post than strict analysis :) but I will do my best! Also I will use some neat quotes from the novel, in case you want to skip those they're all written in italics so it's easy to avoid them!

Also really sorry it took me forever to get to this ask!

Let's introduce our power rangers Sora-fanboying crew. That idea probably got born all the way back in the North Blue, when Law, Bepo, Penguin and Shachi were living together as children and sharing stories and talking into late night hours before falling asleep.

First of all, Hearts Pirates are strategists. All crewmates know their roles they have to play in a battle. There's always someone responsible for the Polar Tang, usually it's Hakugan (taking care of the ship so it doesn't get damaged is essential, because that ship is not only their means of travelling but also their home). There are people responsible for providing cover (Shachi and Penguin, Law's most trusted guys besides Bepo). There is a bodyguard - Jean Bart (or should I call him a tank? :D), making sure Law doesn't get hit when preparing powerful counterattacks.

Second of all, the biggest strength of Heart Pirates isn't their individual feats, fighting skills or not even their ace in the sleeve - the overpowered captain. Their true strength lies in their teamwork. They always work like a team, supporting each other and cooperating to help Law win his battles.

Hearts are apparently very strong in sea battles. Seems their usual strategy is to go for sinking the enemy's ship (very sly and effective). They're also good at fighting in the water, which is refreshing in comparison to many other crews depending solely on devil fruits powers.

Also RIP Polar Tang :(

Bepo has actually the most jobs to do, surprisingly. He's the navigator, he's the main attacker who often plays support for Law, but he also uses his mink/animal senses to track down enemies and instruct where each crewmate is needed! He's definitely very reliable.

“Sorry, I got nothing. If only I was a smarter polar bear… I’m no use, I should just disappear.”

“Hah hah! Just having strong legs doesn’t make you the best at peddling, Bepo. Man, you really are clumsy. You were so wobbly I thought for sure you were going to crash. It was scary just watching you!”

“Hm, you’re right. I wonder why I can’t ride a bike to save my life… I’ll just leave and figure my life out then.”

Despite Bepo's poor self-esteem, he's a really good fighter. Bepo's kung-fu (bear-fu? :D) fighting style is so unique too. Law often trusts him to "take care of things". Bepo has also one more powerful ace up his sleeve, his sulong form, though apparently he can't control it at all. It's only thanks to Chopper's rumble ball that Bepo was able to control his form for the very first time, without even a full moon visible in the sky.

Of course Bepo is also a very outstanding navigator. I mean, I dare you all to try to draw a better map with those huge paws! They're not exactly suited to hold a pen!

I do have to mention though that Law had a momentary pause before finding their current location ("around here") on this map, haha. He would never admit it though. He's so proud of his navigator! Also, keeping that map with him must have made Law happy, because he got reminded of Bepo even when he wasn't with him.

It's so tattered too and needed some tapes ;-;

Bepo is also, sort of, second in command after Law. He's responsible for new recruits who work directly under him. That gives us some sort of insight in how the hierarchy works in Hearts crew. There is Law whose word is absolute, then Bepo, then Shachi and Penguin, then the rest, then the fresh recruits.

It's not quite like in Strawhats where everyone is more or less equal in their positions. Even in the novel Law sometimes calls them friends and sometimes underlings, but in Punk Hazard and Egghead he instead calls them "nakama" (his crewmates, companions), so that apparently has changed at some point as Law grew up.

These two are my subordinates! I won’t let scum like you call them “things”!

I let out a large sigh. I have to keep it together. I have to protect my underlings. My friends.

Bepo, Penguin, Shachi. I told you to be my underlings, so I have a responsibility as your boss.

As much as Law treats his Heart Pirates as equals, his responsibility over them makes him take a higher position over them. But he doesn't interfere much in how they organize things around each other. Bepo took it on himself to be the second in command and Law never protested or questioned that. Basically their importance in the crew is based on the order in which they joined.

“Hold on, both of you ate three pieces and I only had two! You guys are new here, so you should be putting me first!” (Bepo complains while Law thinks to himself:) I should have just given them all equal portions to begin with instead of piling everything on a single plate; that’s what I think as I quietly shovel my fourth piece into my mouth.

Law himself is a bit sneaky, he might think he should make sure things are more equal around his crew, but at the end of the day he just doesn't do anything about it. They're free to do whatever they want. That's the type of captain he is.

When Wolf is out of the house, the four of us work on the farm, go fishing, clean, and do the laundry. During free time, each of us will focus on the things we want to do. I spend most of my time reading medical books and learning how to use my power. Bepo uses his time to study navigation. Penguin and Shachi simply have a desire to get stronger. But since their way of doing things didn’t allow them to improve, I had to borrow weapons from Wolf and teach them swordsmanship and gunnery. Seeing someone I'm teaching getting better at it is more rewarding than I thought it would be. Whenever I see how happy Penguin or Shachi are when they hit the bullseye, I can’t help but smile.

Law also trained them all by himself.

But back to Bepo. He's also a bit of a silly bear who needs to be looked after. He doesn't stand the heat very well, he's a bit of a slow thinker, he also panicks very easily and often calls out to Law to save him or stay with him. And that feeling is usually mutual, because Law also wants to take care of him:

“Don’t worry, Bepo. Even if you get injured and covered in blood, I’ll fix you up at the clinic.”

“Assuming I do get injured! Aye-aye!”

Hah hah. What a goof.

Bepo is a bit like a younger sibling to Law, he can be strong but also very clumsy and silly, and it for sure appeals to Law's protective side. He kinda stepped up (it was probably subconsciously) to be a temporary older brother figure for him in absence of Zepo. He was ready to throw away his Wano's raid plans just because Bepo had a stomachache and asked him to stay by his side. Bepo is also the only person Law has any sort of physical closeness with. Those two grew really close with each other.

But Bepo is dependable when it matters. He was also a guardian of Whale Forest back on Zou, so Law isn't the only one who recognizes that quality in Bepo.

“Law, I brought you some hot tea. It’s made with tea from the old man’s garden. He said it helps calm nerves.”

“Thank you, Bepo.”

“No problem. You’ve been having nightmares a lot lately.”

“I know. I must be worrying Penguin and Shachi too.”

“You don’t want to talk about it?” Bepo asked with an earnest look on his face.

“No; right now, I can’t get my own thoughts together, sorry.”

“It’s fine. But I’m here if you ever want to talk about it.”

Law is close friends with Penguin and Shachi as well, but it seems it's Bepo he confides in most of the time. It might be because Bepo shows his concern and care very openly, making it especially hard for Law to refuse or dismiss it. And it's a good thing, because Law really needs someone openly caring and loving like Bepo in his life.

Bepo is clearly higher in command than Penguin and Shachi, and they both respect him despite the rocky beginning of their friendship:

“That's what you thought while they beat you?”

“Yes. I thought if I let them do it, maybe we could become friends.” Friends. It’s a word I hadn't heard in a long time. I no longer have any. They were all burned in a fire. (…) As my mind wanders, I begin to wonder why a polar bear is here, alone. Actually, if I think about it, he’s probably just like I had been before. I've become a little more interested in his situation.

Law's crew respects him and looks up to him, but they also voice out their own opinions and approvals or lack there of. They also occassionally allow themselves some really lewd comments, like in the picture above :D I bet you anything they would also call out Law on acting cute if they saw him with Chopper strapped to his head.

Damn, Penguin even looks like he's a bit jealous of Chopper's position. They fanboy Law so much despite being slightly older than him!

Shachi and Penguin are Law's intel and watchers. Penguin seems to be the smarter one out of the two of them, basing it on the rational comments he makes. But Shachi's skills in the water are also nothing to sneeze at! And as a bonus skill, Shachi apparently cuts the hair for others in the crew.

“Hey, you two.” I call Shachi and Penguin calmly. “You have nowhere to go, do you? I know you can't go back to your relatives' house either.”

“That is the only place we would never return to.”

“Alright; then you won't. Be my subordinates. And for now, you can live here.”

The four of us—myself, Bepo, Penguin and Shachi—have experienced immense loneliness in this world, and somehow managed to overcome despair.

I think it's possible Law recruited everyone in his crew in similar fashion (of course his first three friends remain special regardless). He seems to have easier time to relate to people who know how despair feels like and he wants to help them leave that feeling behind, to see things from a different perspective, to show them that no matter what, there are still probably other ways out, and if there aren't, he will make one happen.

Heart Pirates are also responsible for lesser tasks so that Law himself doesn't have to do it, like keeping an eye on Luffy.

Some Hearts, like Clione, Uni and Ikkaku even disagreed with the idea of the alliance. At first I thought Law told his crew that they don't have to get along with the Strawhats, because he respected that some might feel uncomfortable doing that, but nah, in the end it was just payback for Luffy not introducing Law to his own crew properly.

It's not the only time Law's crew complained to him so directly. When they were supposed to enter the New World, Law told them they need to wait and that they need to shut up and listen to him, because they should trust his plans. Despite his crew's big enthusiasm and competitive spirit, they were actually a bit scared to enter the New World, because when they saw beasts in the calm belt they definitely panicked a bit. So Law's decision was probably the right course of action.

Bepo also isn't afraid to scold his captain, when Law stares at yonko instead of escaping Marineford or when he chooses to drop down the waterfall in Wano. Law always seems to win each and every time tho. They also have no fear on calling him out for showing off ;)

Let's not forget that despite the fact that Heart Pirates can voice their complains openly, they were still kinda left in the dark and learned about the alliance from the newspaper. Ouchie, Law :D Nami might have a point when she said Law is just like Luffy.

They're very loyal, not only to Law, but to each other as well. They also share their duties on Polar Tang, like cleaning or maintaining the submarine, all together.

“You… no, the lot of you can really help others without asking anything in return, huh.” (Wolf about Law, Shachi, Penguin and Bepo)

Shachi, Penguin and Bepo always accompany Law wherever he goes.

His whole crew protects him whenever they can.

And of course they love him so much. Law might be a grumpy captain, but he for sure returns the love he received from them, in his own way. Let's not forget Bepo, Penguin and Shachi were there for him when he lost everyone again, after what happened to Cora-san. They basically supported each other in their biggest time of need.

Despite some of them protesting, they all get along with Strawhats in that alliance in the end :) Hearts are also very fun loving people, who definitely like to party :D

Law might be quite overprotective about his crew, but he does trust them enough to take care of themselves and pick their own battles in the Onigashima's raid. Hearts also worry for Law a lot and cheer him on and celebrate his won battles ❤

“Hmph. Well, alright then. It’s just that when you’re not feeling well, the rest of the lot are out of it too.” (Wolfe said this to Law, suggesting that whenever Law is feeling under the weather, it affects his friends)

I have to act strong. I have to act cool. If I stay gloomy in this situation, the other three will continue to live in fear. I can’t let that happen. (Law to himself)

At first Law didn't think much about his responsibility over his crew, he learned that along the way and thanks to Wolf's guidance. He decided to do everything he can so he can protect his friends and show them that they can rely on him, and they make sure to return the favour.

Now let's take a moment to celebrate Penguin and Shachi being little horny perverts ;)

In the end, I'm the only one scolded by Wolf. Bepo and the other two look at me like they are sorry, but I know that tomorrow things will be exactly the same. Since we’ve been living together, I’ve learned that these three will forget their transgressions in a day’s time.

This is probably another reason why Law chooses to ignore most of Hearts antics :D

I gotta say Shachi is certainly having hots for Penguin, basing it on this image ;) or at least he would be even more into him if he had, well, bigger tits.

Now we all know Law left his crew on Zou so that Doflamingo doesn't use them against him in the fight. But did you ever wonder why Law recruited Jean Bart into his crew? Saving a slave is one thing, but taking him into his crew is another. I think Law cares for his crew so much that he recruited someone strong and experienced as a captain who can take care of them in case Law can't (in time of need when he's missing in action, but also in case something went horribly wrong and they would be left without a captain). Recruiting Jean Bart was a strategic move and I believe it's to make sure someone takes care of the Heart Pirates in Law's absence.

“I definitely want to see my brother," Bepo said after a long silence. “It’s fun living here with everyone and all, but sometimes I think of him. I wonder if he’s doing okay, or if something happened to him. That’s why I’ve continued studying navigation since I got here. I’m terrible at it, but I can finally draw maps. So I definitely want to set out to find my brother some day, I think.”

This is one of the reasons why Heart Pirates ventured into Grand Line, besides Law's motivation to fullfill Cora-san's wish. He actually made sure to fullfill Bepo's wish before his very own one!

And finally, to answer your second question in the ask: does Law love his Heart Pirates as much as he loves Cora-san? I will allow Law to speak for himself, quoting the novel:

What was Cora-san for me? We had no blood relationship, and we didn't even know each other that long. Yet somehow, we were family. A love that could be felt without even putting it into words. I was wondering if I could love someone like that again. If I stay with Junk-ya and the bear, can I come to love them? Or will it continue to be a give and take relationship, as the old man says, where we just use each other?

After Wolf signed his name, we all followed suit. Seeing all our names next to each other on the paper, it’s strange. It is almost like we were a family.

Actually, we all looked happy, myself included. This place is definitely irreplaceable to me, I realized once again.

I can’t keep looking backwards; I have to move forward. Together with the happiness of being with friends, no matter how much I waver.

I found some salted fish that was on sale, so I bought it. In my head popped the pleasantly surprised faces of Bepo and the old man, and the expressions I imagined soon became my own.

Two months have flown by since the five of us started this life together. Eating meals, bathing, thinking of games to play, and bullshitting together under the same roof. It's the type of life I had never experienced until now.

But I have friends now—I have people who can allow me to forget the pain and the rage by distracting me with stupid things. That’s all I need.

And in case you wonder how did Law ask them to become a pirate crew together, here you go:

“I'll be leaving the island in a week. What do you want to do?” I ask them the question, trying to stay as natural as possible. “I will not force you to do anything. You can very well continue to lead the same life, to eat with the old man by exchanging jokes and get on with your job in town. Only, if… if you ever… wanted to come, then… that… that would help me a lot.”

(and after they all enthusiasthically agree:)

“Alright, I know I can count on you. That's all I'm saying.”

And from that moment on, Law gives them a name: Heart Pirates. Because they're a crew that belongs to Law, but also to Cora-san, and that's the meaning behind the name. If Cora-san lived, Hearts would be *his* crew as well. In some alternative reality, they could all be happy together sailing the seas.

So I guess, my final answer is: Law loves them because he found friends in them, his new family, and he wished he could share this happiness with Cora-san as well. I doubt there are many people out there who would get that privileage! Heart Pirates are definitely irreplaceable to him.

#one piece #trafalgar law #heart pirates #bepo #shachi #penguin #jean bart #shachi x penguin #corazon #Law's novel #I tried to not include my headcanons about Heart Pirates #because I don't want to mix it up with actual analysis and quotes #I don't have that many of Hearts headcanons anyway :D #also I had troubles uploading pictures to tumblr so some of them are on external site! sorry!#Law and friendships #ask #law's light novel

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diangelofan · 3 months ago

Text

Life-changing

Put some prompts (Day 6: Facade - Captivate / Day 7: Change - Perceive) of @change-is-perceivable to make a pretty perciver one-shot!

---------

Percy Weasley was known as a lot of things, both at home and at school. Every possible combination of adjectives, he had heard it all before:

“pompous git”, “stuck up arse”, “stick in the mud”, “boring bloke”, “lady repeller”

These were all phrases he had heard when speaking about him, either in whispers or directly to his face (specially in mouth of unpleasant individuals, description that sometimes included some of his family, to his dismayed resignation).

At the beginning, it had angered him (a lot) the way he was perceived (no pun intended) by the people in his vicinity for things he couldn’t help. Yeah, so what if he preferred academic topics to Quidditch and thought spending weeks with his head buried in a book or perfecting his essays was an enjoyable activity?

That didn’t necessarily make him “bland” or “boring” or whatever name people decide on that day.

It just made him Percy Weasley.

What was so wrong with that? Why punish him for being different?

Thus, instead of retracting and caving to his peers’ criticisms, he just focused harder on said activities, constructing a perfect facade that repelled all comments (or at least it did so to the best of its abilities). And his hard work paid off: he was chosen a prefect in his fifth year and Head Boy in his last, and earned 12 OWLS (the highest amount among his classmates). Those achievements comforted him by showing Percy his efforts were valuable and recognized (he was worthy of praise) and helped ease the pain that those little comments inflicted in him (a life-saving shield from the death by those thousand paper cuts). When his mother praised him for being such a wonderful son and said how proud he was of him, insisting that his younger siblings take him as a role model (someone they should aspire to be), he felt almost happy (he made sure to always ignore his siblings’ replies).

That happiness, however, was just momentary. It didn’t compared to the everlasting joy he felt in Oliver Wood’s arms. Oliver had met him at the young age of eleven and was his best friend since all those years ago. Oliver, however, didn’t like him despite his “odd behaviour”, but instead was captivated by his peculiarities.

“Those are the reasons I love you, you know. I would never even think to change you.”, whispered his boyfriend in his ear when they cuddle in one of their beds (the constant reassuring really help Percy, whose head was sometimes invaded with dark, pessimistic doubts).

Their relationship was, sometimes, Percy’s only anchor, the only thing keeping him afloat in the mess of stress and anxiety he came close to drowning in a couple of times (or at least that’s how he felt):

After a day full of non-stop studying for hours or Prefect (worse later on as Head Boy)’s endless responsibilities (or at least they seemed like it).

After trying to keep his facade of being a perfect straight-O student who follows the rules to a T (or at least makes sure not to get caught breaking them) and tries to get other students to follow them as well.

Or after dealing with particularly nasty comments from his classmates or some teasing from family members (most of the time, the twins) about his weird and boring personality.

When he felt tired of carrying his whole world (on top of other’s expectations) on his shoulders and felt closed to crashing down, to giving up. That’s were Oliver became his sort of saviour (who needed a Harry Potter when you could have an Oliver Wood).

His boyfriend didn’t criticised him for his overachieving attitude; well, at least not in the same way other people did.

Oliver respected his passion for learning and his search to expand his knowledge. The two would spend hours in their dormitory, just talking about each other’s major topics of interest that week.

Oliver would rant about the disastrous decision that changing their Seeker had been for Puddlemere United. Percy would compared in great detail the value of Arithmancy and Divination in regards of which subject allowed for a more precise and accurate prediction of the future, citing different books as evidence.

Topics that their partner might have normally considered to be extremely boring were shown in a new and brighter light when they came out of the mouth of the person they loved. When it was explained in their passionate voice, it suddenly became the most important knowledge one could obtain at the present time (even if it did go into one ear and out of the other most times, let’s not kid ourselves).

It was just so fascinating.

While Oliver was used to having people with whom to discuss Quidditch with (sadly, not in as great detail and care as he did, but most wizards were big fans of the sport), Percy had spent most of his life experiencing either people attempting to understand what he was saying and getting bored and distracted soon after, or just telling him to his face to shut up (in nicer or meaner words, depending on the person). Now, whereas it be his boyfriend listening to him rant with the softest expression possible in his face and love-filled eyes (as if he were the best thing that had ever happen to Oliver’s life) or, in the most wonderful occasions, processing the points Percy made and arguing back or asking questions (the couple could have the best long and passionate debates one could imagine when their interests intersected, as was the case sometimes with chess techniques or quidditch theory/history)…

Having someone that would paid attention to him, and only him, treating his words as if they were made out of the finest gold…

Someone who cared about him enough to do his best and listen to him, valuing his every word.

Someone who loved him, not in spite of the characteristics others perceived as flaws but because of them (because it made him who he was).

Someone that sincerely considered him to be “the most captivating and charming human to ever exist” and “the most beautiful and sexiest Weasley” (all his boyfriend’s words, not Percy’s).

Someone who Percy could be his true self with, dropping every bit of his facade without fear because he knew he would always be adored unconditionally and never be asked to change.

Someone he knew would always be there for him to give him an encouraging word or a comforting cuddle when needed and who kept him grounded (as did Percy when their positions were inverted and his boyfriend was the one who needed it, which was specially the case after a match lost).

Someone who he could love and be loved by, heartily and completely.

Yeah, let’s just say (to put it lightly) that having someone like Oliver Wood in Percy Weasley’s life had been truly life-changing.

#changeisperce2024 #as soon as I found out about this I knew I just had to write some more perciver!#fanfiction #my fanfic #perciver fanfiction #perciver #percy weasley #oliver wood #percy weasley x oliver wood #percy weasley needs a hug #hp fanfiction #hp fanfic #harry potter fandom

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makingfanfictionstosleep · 1 year ago

Text

My First But Not My Last.

Pairing : Gojo x Femreader, Geto x Femreader

Setting : Started from Pre-Cult Suguru Geto // Modified that Kenjaku will not totally take over Geto's subconscious later on // Girl bff Shoko, Mei Mei & Utahime, Strong sorcerer reader // Death, Murder Spree, Romance, Lemons

Rating : Mature || m i n o r s d o n o t i n t e r a c t

Part 1 : Love of my Life

Next >>

"Come on," you heard your boyfriend call you with his hand extended, waiting for you to grab it as he tapped his foot impatiently on the ground, "We got our room already & I am so beat up.

You sighed & flashed a shy smile as you took his overly large hand & allowed him to pull you as you trailed behind him, feeling tired from your mission.

"Yaga-sensei have done it this time," you complained, "He said it was an easy mission since we're both special grade sorcerers, but damn, even Satoru would have a difficult time to exorcise that. And it was even more difficult because you wanted that thing in your collection," you shuddered as you remembered Suguru turning the curse into a ball before swallowing it.

"But he got us a 5-star room so all is well," Suguru replied in his soft voice & you nodded in agreement as you both reached the door of your hotel room.

"Home sweet home," you said as you stepped into the room, as you felt Suguru's large arms wrap around your tiny waist, "Damn, Yaga-sensei had really done it this time," you said with a smile, feeling his nose nuzzle your neck.

"Suguru," you sighed, "I'm still icky. Can I at least take a bath first?"

"Can I join in?" he asked, his arms still around your waist, "Save water, shower together."

"I'd really want to shower alone this time," you plead, kissing his cheek, "Please?"

"Fine," he answered begrudgingly, letting you go reluctantly & you made your way to the shower.

15 minutes later, you stepped out, feeling fresh & happy that you have finally wahed the day off. You looked at your boyfriend, who was still sulking, giving him a kiss on the cheek, as he fought the smile forming on his lips. You found him adorable, like a big teddy bear.

You plopped yourself on the king size bed and burrowed under the sheets, turning the television on to watch news to kill time. There is still a mission that you & Geto have to finish but it requires investigation of some sort so maybe you can get some lead from the local news.

You sighed in contentment, enjoying the momentary peace & quiet that Jujutsu Sorcerers rarely experience due to the nature of the work. It's tiring, dangerous & very draining, money's worth it - sure, but sometimes you just want to run away & live a simple life. But then again, not everybody can see what you can see, do what you can do. You're not Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer seen after hundreds of years, but you're also not weak being one of the few crowned as Special Grade Sorcerer. An elite soldier if compared to the normal military.

You heard the water stop & Suguru stepped out of the bathroom, only in his towel. You turned the television off & admired him in all his glory, to which he noticed (of course) & gave you a smirk as he dried his hair with another towel.

"Like what you see?" his baritone sent shicers down your spine & you raised an eyebrow, returning a seductive grin at him, making him chuckle at your reaction.

"If you're talking about the view from here, then yes I do like it," you answered as he made his way to the bed, "Maybe I like it more up close," pulling the towel off his body to reveal his thick member, making you lick your lips when you wrapped your tiny fingers on it.

"Baby don't tease me," Suguru grunted in satisfaction when you licked his length & took him in your mouth, his hand automatically gathering your long hair out of your face, "Such a good girl, taking all of it."

You moaned as his grip on your hair tightened while you bob your head up & down, your hands taking what your mouth can't reach, sloppy & gagging sounds coming from your mouth & throat, aiming to please the handsome man in front of you.

"F-uuck," Suguru moaned, both of his hands now on both sides of your head as he thrusted his hip, fucking your tiny mouth, making you gag at his size.

He is huge.

But you love it.

His breathing was erratic & you knew he was close, seconds later he came in your mouth & you took it all, making him curse at the beautiful sight of you swallowing all of it, "That's my good girl," he half hissed, half moaned while you made sure to take every drop he can offer.

You wiped your lips & grinned as him, gulping in front of him which turned him on even more. You took a bottle of water beside your bed & not even a second later, Suguru was pulling you on his lap.

"That was quite a show," he cooed, kissing your neck while he tugged the robe down your shoulders. Suguru loved your ass, but he think he was lucky that you were blessed with bith tits & ass.

He took his time pleasuring you, sucking your hardened nubs, his other hand gripping your ass, while your fingers are tangled his locks. "Suguru," you moaned when his fingers reached your wet folds, "Please.." You begged as he kissed your mouth hungrily.

"My baby wants to be fucked so bad," he mumbked against your lips, "Look at how wet you are," making you moan against his lips when he pushed a finger inside of you, his thumb pushing your clit.

"Baby please," you begged as he pumped his fingers inside your core, "Please, please, please."

You heard him chuckle deeply as you begged him. He may not look like it, but he loves to torture you like this. He loves to make you beg, make you moan his name make you ask for him to do make his way with you until you're in tears, your beautiful lips spilling curses, his name, asking him to make you cum over & over again.

"You ready, baby girl?" Suguru asked as he teased your entrance with his tip, making you bite your lip in anticipation as you nodded your head, your hooded eyes staring directly at his.

He pushed your legs apart while he slowly pushed inside your wet entrance, groaning on how tight you are.

"So fucking good," he said breathily as he pushed his entire length inside while all of your thoughts were thrown out of the window.

He made you cum multiple times that night in different positions he could think of.

And you slept like a baby, not caring for anything else because the love of your life has his strong arms wrapped around your body.

A/N : Typed on my phone. Gradually proofreading typos. Please bear with me.

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mobius-m-mobius · 11 months ago

Note

Thinking back to the Loki finding Sylvie at McDonalds for the first time in s2 … I was SO curious how Mobius would react after his jealous fit over Sylvie in s1, and tbh on a first watch I was a bit disappointed, despite a proper double-take over the opposites attract line. I suppose I was primed for disappointment anyway, having assumed that for all the first ep was so much more than I’d hoped for, it would from here on invariably be pure Loki and Sylvie romance.

But now. The season having been That. Oh boy does the scene hit different!! Sure it’s not the blowout that is Mobius’ jealousy in s1; rather it’s transformed by now into a far more tragic resignation. He seems to have decided that if this is what will make Loki happy, he won’t stand in his way, but oh boy did I miss all the tells of how *hard* he is shoving all his emotions away to get there. The way he attaches himself to *Brad* rather than have anything to do with the reunion. The way he keeps yanking himself from his general air of grave heartbreak via strange outbursts at Brad, from going off at him before there’s any shred of evidence of double-dealing, to strangely enthusiastic assertions of how strange and cool life is. The way he tries to muster a grin when they see Sylvie really is there, and he, god of folksy cheer for all—can’t. The way he tries so hard not to watch Loki and Sylvie and to steer the conversation away from them, but his eyes get sort of stuck on them every time he glances their way.

And just. Above all. The way the season drives home over and again and again that the way Mobius deals with discomfort and emotions he doesn’t want to face is a). Comfort food, and b). Distract himself by talking to whoever is handy, even if the only folks available for talking are people he isn’t especially close to or friendly with. And going back to the scene with that in mind, well whaddya know, guess what our boy is up to !!!!!!

Yes yes YES to every word of this anon!!

As a lover of how pettily obvious Mobius was in S1 with his jealousy I was also looking forward to seeing what his reaction to Loki and Sylvie meeting again would be, and like you had expected something almost equally as brash as the interrogation scene but it turned out what we got was as good if not better in so many ways 👀👀

The way he hangs back as Loki approaches her, trying to look as casually friendly and nonthreatening as possible before IMMEDIATELY bee lining to get some apple pie when we'd only just established the key lime been a major comfort of his at the TVA?? Babe we see you and we're here for you 😭

That alone already had me waiting to see what extremes he was about to go to but I wasn't prepared at all for how the forced cheer from eating his meal fell aside the second Brad brought up not understanding what was going on with Loki and Sylvie outside, then that hint of bitterness we rarely see in "they say opposites attract? No." What a line, and he's so clearly thinking of how easily he and Loki fit together in comparison that as he continues hearing about how weird Loki and Sylvie are you practically see the thoughts racing through his mind range from agreement to a momentary embarrassment he thought that at all, then resignation and finally defeat because if this is what Loki wants he'll support and be there for him just like always.

Cue his default reaction to push his own feelings out of existence in favor of everyone else's (especially Loki's) as he plasters his usual positivity and charm back on, taking Brad's attention away from the window and towards a change of subject he knows is guaranteed to work without coming across as suspicious because there's nothing Brad would enjoy talking about more than himself and of course Mobius is such a great analyst that it worked a bit too perfectly 😅

#so so real about the sheer awe of ep 1 then turning to resignation about what the rest of the season would entail and then -#being hit full force with the nonstop ongoing rush of every quality fanfic trope in existence through five more episodes #all while we were still catching our breath over mobius and loki gently holding and tenderly gazing at each other for like half and hour lo #apologies btw about the delayed reply as i LOVE this ask but had things come up over the weekend before i could reply properly #so thank you for sending it and i hope you're doing well!! lots of love towards an amazing week ahead 🥰💖#ask

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baby-bunny-san · 2 years ago

Text

Ikemen Villain Prologue Full 1-9

Part 1

It’s easy to be happy when life is a fairy tales.

Don’t do what you shouldn’t do. For example, so…

A forest you shouldn’t enter, a door you shouldn’t open, a secret you shouldn’t know.

And ---

Kate: This is all I’m in charge of. Thank you very much for sorting the mail.

Colleague: Hey, isn’t the top one is a love letter? It’s a big responsibility, Kate

Kate: The responsibility is the same for any letter. Because the person who wrote it is full of heart. Then Let’s go

Put the letter in the delivery bag and open the door of the post office ---

(Today is even more lively… Was it social season?)

During the reign of Queen Victoria, London was literally the most properous British capital in the world.

While immigrants, workers, industrialists, and aristocrats are crowded together,

Everyone is living the same today as yesterday, filled with their own troubles and joys.

Kate: come on, let’s deliver today as well!

I am an ordinary citizen working as a postman in such a city.

(Phew, tired)

While delivering the letter as usual, the gas lamp started to light up again today.

(There are only 2 left for today. The next address is --- ah)

A strong wind suddenly blew, and an envelope flew from my hand into the sky.

(I can’t…)

The wind carrying the envelope blows through the dim alley.

Kate: If I lose sight of it, I’ll be in trouble…!

Rather than rushing to chase after it, the envelope fell to a point as if it were being sucked into it.

Towards the silver-haired man who appeared from the alley, who was slender even in the twilight.

(It was good…!)

Kate: Excuse me, it’s being delivered

???:….

I rushed over, and the man kindly stooped down to pick up the envelope that had fallen at my feet.

???: Go ahead, my lady.

He picked it up and hold it out, that’s all, but perhaps because of his inhuman beauty and gracefulness of his movements, my gaze was stolen.

Kate: Thank you very much

???: You’re welcome

(This person’s eyes are red. It’s like…)

---- It’s looks like blood.

Dark alley, outstretched palms, ruddy eyes… all of them,

A shudder ran down my spine as if it was going to take me somewhere that wasn’t real.

Red-eyed man: Are there only 2 deliveries left?

Kate: Huh?

His cough brought me to my senses. Suddenly, the hustle and bustle of London came back to my ears.

Kate: Sorry, I’m dazed.

Red-eyed man: Hurry up. It will soon be dark.

As we passed each other and made a fuss, he disappeared into the crowd.

For some reason, the lingering sweet scent of buckwheat made my heart flutter.

The red-eyed man: Thank you, Victor.

Black-haired man: If it’s you, I’d be happy no matter how many hours I’ve been waiting… Oh, did something good happen?

Red-eyed man: Ah… There was a cute robin who seemed to sing with a wonderful voice.

Black-haired man: Heh… If you’re interested in someone, I’m curious too

(He was a strange person, how did you know the number of deliveries?)

(From the way he dressed, he looked like an aristocrat, so I don’t think I will ever see him again)

I walked around the city with a feeling of relief and a desire to talk a little more

I like the moment when people’s heart moves, so I chose a job that delivers letters filled with feelings.

I have no complain about the days when I continue to deliver someone’s feelings, and I think that my current daily life may be happy life that suits me.

Although I also think that the world may change at some random time.

(I wonder if it’s a guy who asked for something that doesn’t exist)

Kate: Well okay, I was able to deliver properly today as well

It was when I praised myself as if I was making an autosuggestion.

???: Wait!!

(.…!)

Part 2

A girl and a man with an angry expression appeared in front of me,

Girl: Ouch!

The necklace sways and glitters in the twisted little girl’s hand.

(Thief?)

Man: I will make that arm unsuable!

What the man raised was a poker

(If it’s hit hard with something like that, bones would break!)

In the momentary events unfolding in front of the sun---

Kate: Wait

---- Involuntarily, a voice came out

Man: What the hell are you??

(No way!)

Kate: Hey, for now, let’s return what you stole. After that, I will listen what you have to say.

Girl: Ehhh

Man: Ouch!?

(Eh!?)

The girl took moment to kick the man’s arm and disappeared into the alley

Man: Wait, you bastard, damn you, what are you doing?

Kate: I’m sorry…

Even if you regret sticking your neck in…

Man: Pay for what I was stolen! Will you pay for it?

Kate: Yes, I will pay you

I cried and took out my wallet

Black-haired man: …I see. That’s certainly a lovely robin

Kate: ah… I did it

(For the jeweller, it was clearly the bad peson who stole things, but)

(I don’t think it’s a good thing to blame a girl who is cornered to the point of stealing…)

Everyone knows that there are people suffering from poverty in the east of London.

Without knowing what kind of feelings the girl has when she steals, I can’t just sit and watch her get hurt

(But in the end, the girl committed a crime and escaped)

Kate: I don’t know if it’s good or bad

I’m running out of tickets for this month’s theater

It’s a small hobby that I pay for myself to go to the theater once every few months with my salary that I’ve saved

(I was supposed to save from this delivery, but this month I have to deposit it)

Kate: Well, there’s no point in worrying about it, if it’s money, you can earn it again

------------------------------------

Kate: I’m back

Director: Kate, it’s just right… No, but it’s dangerous at night…

Kate: what’s wrong?

Colleague: that’s right, there are vacancies for night delivery workers, and there are not enough people

(Night delivery, that’s it)

Kate: Please let me go

Director: Oh.. that’s.. to be honest. It helps. The delivery area is a safe townhouse area, but please don’t wander around carelessly

Kate: I got it

(Good, now we can make up for the negative amount from earlier)

(It’s my first time delivering at night and this area… if you’re careful, you will be fine)

Black-haired man: well--- guys, are you ready?

Cat-like man: Of course, Victor. It’s been a long time since we’ve been on a mission together, so it’s exciting

Subjective man: You’re too excited, you will get hurt if you get too high, so calm down

Hunting gun man: well, if it’s not a serious injury, I’ll fix it. If you die, we will have one less person to work with

Cat-like man: Thank you, Roger. As expected of a former doctor

Blond hair man: .. ah. I have to go too

Gentlemanly man: Yeah, it’s a wonderful night. There may be something you’re looking for at the target’s mansion

Blond hair man: yes… I understand

Sly-eyed man: if you’re going, can you go quickly? Unlike the nobles, I don’t have time

Tall young man: I don’t have any business talks or collection plans tonight

Sly-eyed man: Hey, you can’t be honest like an idiot. Shut up

Red-eyed man: As you can see, Crown is ready, Victor

Black-haired man: Haha, That’s nice. Well then, let’s get started

Tonight too --- loyalty to your evil

Part 3

(Delivery at night is fine once you get used to it, next is the last one)

Among the row of townhouses, it was a particularly splendid mansion

(Oh.. this mansion doesn’t have a mailbox)

(It’s night, so I can’t speak too loudly… what should I do?)

When I gently touch the gate, I heard a faint squeak and the gate opened inward

(Open. Careless)

Kate: Excuse me. I’m from the post office. Is there anyone here?

When I pass through the gate and look into the dimly lit entrance hall

(Piano sound?)

Out of nowhere, I heard a light melody

The light and joyful tone that echoes in the dark without the sound of the wind makes you feel something strange

(i’m sure it’s the man in this mansion who is playing. If you leave the letter unattended, it might get lost)

(If I don’t deliver it properly)

I’m afraid to take a step forward

My own footsteps along the polished hall mingled with the melody of the piano

(somehow, I feel restless)

Eventhough I should be fullfilling my duties, I feel like I’m making a decisive mistake for some reason

(Hand it over quickly and let’s go home)

(The sound … seems to be coming from the hall ahead)

Knocking on the door, but the melody doesn’t stop

I put my hand on the doornob as if I was rushed by anxiety

Kate: um.. excuse me. ------Nn

(.……. eh?)

A bright red fountain appeared in front of me

Byu-- the object with bright red splatters throbbing and rolling on the floor with a sound

(W… What?)

My eyes met with the “it” that rolled at my feet

“He” had a bitter expression on his face, and had a knife he had held stabbed into his neck

Kate: ………!?

My throat makes a sound. A lukewarm liquid dripped down, and discomfort ran down my spine

(Why)

???: this this, I didn’t expect an audience to come

I heard a voice that gave me a further blow, and my throat, which was still tight, trembled

When I looked around-----

Eight shadows darker than darkness,

They silently stared at me, illuminated by the gray moonlight

As if trying to figure out who I am….

One of them slowly stands up from the piano in the hall

Red-eyed man: what’s it? Isn’t that the robin I met during the day?

Kate: ahh…eh?

It was the red-eyed man I met in London at dusk

I stared back at them, unable to understand anything beyond that

Cat-like man: do you know Will? Anyone know us?

Red-eyed man: we just talked a little bit on the street, Liam, she don’t know about the Crown

(Crown?)

Cat-like man: I see, then you are in trouble, what should you do?

The man looked at me and smiled softly, with a glamorous tone that doesn’t match the complete crime scene

(Looks fun, even in this kind of situation)

His friendly pink eyes sparkle with curiosity

Subjective man: I’m sorry if you are really frightened, but this is a set for a stage play, isn’t it?

A man who looks like a playboy poke at the corpse with his chine and gives me a sideways glance

Kate: Uh, lie…

I remembered the lukewarm feeling, and my voice came out involuntarily

Subjective man: It would have been better if you pretend to believe me. What are you going to do Will?

Red-eyed man: Of couse, we should take her to the “Palace fo death”

Sly-eyed man: I told you to lock the door

Hunting gun man: Haha, I didn’t think you would trespass. You’re a pretty bad girl, arent you?

Tall young man: Why don’t you come over here, you cant run away anyway

Fear ran through my body the moment I heard those word - I can’t escape

(... anyway…. I have to run away!)

I scolded my trebling legs and try to retreat

Blood-red eyed captivated me

Red-eyed man: Come, poor robin

(Ehh??)

For some reason, my legs began to move toward him the moment he whispered sweetly

(why? I cant stop..?!)

Kate: I hate it…

Ignoring my will, my legs suddenly stopped right in front of him

Red-eyed man: Excuse me

He gently pulled me around my waist as if he were waltzing

(... being killed..)

As soon as I close my eyes. The scent of buckwheat tickle my nose, and the soft feel of it gently caress me

Red-eyed man: it’s ok

(a…)

He smiled and gently released me from his arms

All of sudden, I lost all my strength and collapsed on the spot

Red-eyed man: I’m late in introducing myself. My name is William. William Rex

With the moonlight behind him, he bowed reverently and held out his hand to me

(William Rex…)

The blood-stained fingertips are slowly opened as if inviting

Red-eyed man: I invite you to dinner tonight. Guest, what’s your name?

Part 4

(I could not escape..)

Eight mysterious man put me in a horse-drawn carriage and gracefully drove through the city at night

Beyond the window, with the cityscape of London. The majestic palace flew away---

(where am I going? And what will happen to me?)

I left the delivery at that mansion. But I wonder if I can receive the salary for that

Moreover, it’s doubtful whether I will be able to return home safely

(the fact that they are acting in group and working in the same place means that these people are people from an organization)

(Then.. from now on. I’m sure you’re going to report me to the person in charge)

Gentlemanly man: Kate-san..

Kate: Y..Yes

When I lifted my head up, I saw a gentleman with a mysterious smile on his face

Looking out the window, the carriage passed through the forest and crossed a bridge

Gentlemanly man: we’re arrived. This is not the root of evil that could be the end of your life, but our base

Kate: Wha…

As soon as I get off the carriage with a conforting escort, I was fascinated by the Gothic castle in front of me

Surrounded by forests and ponds on all sides, the clear tower that pierces the night sky gives off an overwhelming presence

Its’ a place that makes you want to bow down unintentionally

(i never thought there was a castle like this in London…)

Kate: Is this.. real?

Gentlemanly man: Yes, unfortunately, it’s neither a dream or an illusion. It’s painful reality that you cant escape

(actually.. or rather, didn’t this person just say something outrageous?)

(The end of life, root of evil, etc . Oh no. My head--)

I get dizzy and unsteady on my feet

I bumped into someone and hurrily turned around

Kate: sorry

Blond hair man: It doesn’t matter… are you okay?

(Near…)

The man who held me by the shoulder looked at me from a distance where I could touch his delicate-looking golden hair

(this person.. he is too beautiful and scary. He looks like a bisque doll)

In a work of art-like form, only the dark and ashy eyes are staring at me with the warm of a living creature

Kate: I’m fine, thank you

A man with a blond hair and blue eyes: …yes

(ah, that)

A man with a blond hair and blue eyes:…..

(don’t let go…)

As I was puzzled, a hand extended from the side and stabbed the blond man’s hand

A man like a cat: El, don’t run away

Kate, do you like to talk to me? I want to know more about you

(wow..)

I was confused by being sandwiched between men on both sides

Hunting gun man: hey, both of you, leave it for later, reporting to Victor is the top priority right now, right?

It’s not too late to get to know each other even after deciding what to do with the girl

It was a big man with an intelligent and powerful appearance came to my rescue

The rational look behind the glasses calms my fussing mind

(at this moment, I feel like this person is the most communicative)

Kate: … What will happen to me?

The things I’ve always wanted to hear came to my mind

Hunting gun man: weel? It’s up to us

With an egoistic grin, I erased the sentence “I feel like I can stand you” in my head

William: Kate, this way. Follow me

Kate: Yes. Rex-sama

William: Ahaha, don’t be so formal, William is fine

Kate: okay… William-sama

(Wow.. amazing)

Once you step into the castle, it’s as if the world has changed

(To think that I would set foot in a place like this even once in my life…)/ I never thought I would set foot…

A castle that is an magnificient as it looks, and is said to be the property of the British royal family. A dangerous, mysterious, and beautiful unknown world was spreading out before my eyes

(it’s a base for people who might be criminals, but..)

William: you seem to like it

A shilver ran down my spine. When I turned around, William was laughing gleefully

William: let’s go. Soul Reaper is waiting impatiently.

Part 5

Black-haired man: Welcome back, my beloved cursed people!

We stepped into the spacious dining room with trepidation, and the ‘Soul Reaper’ greeted us with a crackers.

(Cursed..?)

Black-haired man: Huh..? that girl is…

(This person is, the ‘Grim Reaper of the Palace’?)

I was a little perplexed by his friendly and frank attitude

His jewel-like eyes and long, glossy black hair reminded me of a night sky with twinkling stars

William: she’s Kate. She happened to be at target’s mansion

Black-haired man: wow. That’s … a fateful coincidence

William: Kate, he’s Victor. He’s the Queen’s aide

(The queen’s aide?)

Victor smiled as he restrained me with one hand when I was about to bend my knee

Victor: good evening, Kate. I see you’re brought here…

Kate: Yes, Victor-sama. It’s as you said

(To think that such an amazing person is a noble.. who the hell are they?)

The fear that clings my body is increasing, and I feel like I’m giong to cry at any moment

(i don’t want to be killed without knowing why)

(But what should I do?)

I was so tense that I couldn’t even break into a cold sweat, and my head gradually faded and turned white

Victor: If you were there by chance, you would be terribly confused without knowing the situation

Kate: Huh…? Yes….

(That’s right. Anyway, I have to grasp the situation and stay calm..)

Before I panicked, my thoughts clung to Victor-sama’s words of sympathy

Kate: well, can I ask you some questions?

Victor: You’re polite, okay, what do you want to ask?

Kate: what was it that I saw? What the hell are ‘crown’ and ‘cursed’?

Cat-like man: Ah, I see. I’m sorry I didn’t explain. You were worried, weren’t you?

Both are about us

Subjective man: Hey, Liam

Cat-like man: a cursed person is a human who has been cursed since he was born into this world

Kate: Cursed? Human?

Cat-like man: yes. I was born destined to commit crimes and suffer a tragic end.

(Are all these people saying that?)

Cat-like man: the ‘cursed people’ has been born in this world since long ago… and has been destined to commit crimes and died as they were supposed to

Cat-like man: for example, when drawing a curse, I can’t control my curiosity. And in the end, I’m destined to be killed by curiosity/ it’s fate to be killed….…Ah, it’s about me

Kate: what do you mean to be killed by curiosity?

Cat-like man: for example, according to the records, my previous cat’s curse is… Arson, robbery, self-multilation, adultery, and all kinds of evil deeds… just to satisfy my curiosity. Even though he was abandoned by his family and loved ones, and even when he was torture and had his limbs torn off, he cried and laughed.

Cat-like man: “it’s the first time I’ve ever done something like this”. In the end, he jumped into a sulfuric acid bath and melted to death while laughing out loud

He told a horrifying story worthy of being called ‘the end of a tragedy” with his eyes swaying happily

Hunting gun man: it’s said that various fairy tales were created based on the existence of this ‘cursed’. Nowadays, the causal relationship is reversed. And it’s called ‘the Fairy Tale Cursed’

(fairytale, curse,… such a story)

Hunting gun man: Can you believe it? I just tasted it myself

Kate: eh..?

Hunting gun man: ‘cursed’ possesses ability that normal humans cannot have

Sly-eye man: hey, that story is a confidential matter… you guys are light-hearted

(unusual ability)

Suddenly, what happened to me just now come back to me

---------- In the target’s mansion -----------

William: Come, poor robin

(... why? I can’t stop!!)

At that time, my body betrayed my will, as if I was manipulated my William-sama’s words

(No way… Really??)

When I unintentionally/ instinctively turned my gaze to William-sama, he gently loosen his eyes as if he is leaning back

William: My curse is a self-righteous king. It’s my ability to act as I’ve ordered/ command

(Do what you ordered, it’s like magic…)

Reason reflextively tried to deny it, but my body that was actually manipulated by him

The story is undeniably true

And one more thing, I noticed something

(A man who died in that mansion) I remember the anguished expression of the man who took his own like and the knife he held in his hand

(I thought it was too unnatural to commit suicide)

(But, maybe that person…)

(William-sama ordered him to forcibly put a knife on his neck?)

Kate:…!!

A frightening hypothesis crossed my mind and I quickly turned away from him

William: ‘cursed people’ are treated as criminals and psychopaths. At present, the UK is the only country that has nationally controlled and organized such risk factors

Kate: Nationally… organized?

William: Ah. An organization under the direct control of her Majesty Queen Victoria, composed only of cursed people. That’s us, the Crown

William: From espionage assassination, we undertake behind-the-scenes/ shadow works that the police and military cannot handle

(That’s right. … the murder scene I saw earlier)

(was it an assassination mission carried out my Her Majesty’s orders…?)

Victor: for the prosperity of Britain, ‘conquering evil with evil’ is the mission of the ‘Crown’. Well, in fact, who are ‘cursed’, are free to carry out their own evils

Victor: For me, it’s the most important thing

(a group of assassins for the nation, defeating evil with evil…)

(I’ve learned a terrible secret…)

I should have grasp the situation in order to calm down, but I was struck by even more fear and stood dumbfounded

Subjective man: yes, it’s a more serious situation than you imagined

So, what are you going to do with such a polite explanation, Victor?

Victor: Hmm… That’s right…

Tall young man: shall I kill her?

(eh-----?)

The worst option suddenly surfaced and I turned around in a panic

Tall young man: she doesn’t seem happy at all, but is it’s work, I’ll do it

(eh….eh!!?)

I’m sweating and I wonder what the other people’s complexions are like

Everyone is calm and doesn’t change one complexion…

I understood that taking the life of a single person was a daily accurrence of them

Victor: Hmm, that’s right

(I have to explain somehow…!!)

(I have to persuade him somehow!)

(If the reason for being killed is ‘knowing the secret’)

Kate: I swear I will never tell anyone alse what I just heard!

Victor: Hmm… What? What?

Kate: I’m absolutely confidential, postmen are trained to maintain confidentially

Victor & William: ….

(isn’t t really impossible?… if that’s the case)

Kate: if you say you can’t trust me, you can keep an eye on me until you trust me, I’ll definitely prove it

(so please, don’t kill me)

I stare at Victor with a cringing feeling

Viktor: I see, that’s good. Adopted!!

Kate: huh?

Victor: From today onwards, you will be the Crown exclusive ‘fairy tale master’

Part 6

Kate: Fairytale master….

Tall young man: … what?

Victor: the position I just created. I’ve wanted to record the spectacular evil deeds for a long time. From now on, Kate will live in this castle and act together with the members of Crown

Victor: Crown members, keep an eye on her so she doesn’t reveal her secret

Meanwhile, I asked Kate to write down how they commit evil, it’s like writing a fairy tale.

It’s will be a valuable resource for research into the curse, and it will also serve as a Crown activity report for her Majesty the Queen

Sujective man: just because it’s too much trouble for you to make a report, so you’re going to force it on her

Victor: I think it’s the best idea! If it decided, I’ll have to show you around this castle

Kate: Wait, wait!

(it looks like I escaped being killed, but I have to decide something important!)

Kate: One month. For 1 month, if I fulfill the role of the fairy tale master and keep the secret to the end…

Can you release me, please?

Victor: ……….

William: fufu… that’s unusual, Victor, I can’t believe you’re taken aback. Okay, Kate. If you want, I’ll trust you and release you when you finish your one month term

William: Should I send a direct notice to your workplace saying that you’re going to work at the Imperial Court for a month? Okay, Victor?

Victor: of, of course Will

(that’s good. For the time being, the neck skin seem to be connected)

(1 month… if I can keep the secret, I can go back to the daily life)

(while writing down the crimes these people commit)

William: If you don’t know the names, it will be inconvenient. Everyone, introduce yourself

Cat-like man: Yes, yes, then I’ll start

(... that?)

When I saw him stepping onto the stage as if he was dancing, I suddenly felt a sense of deja vu

Kate: I’ve heard about you somewhere!

(this person is an actor who appeared on the stage I went to see last month)

Liam: Do you know me? I’m so happy. My front face is a stage actor , and the back face is a crown. My name is Liam Evans

Please take care of me from now on, cute Kate-chan

With a light wink like a twinkling star, Liam kissed the back of my hand

My heart, which has been tense with fear and anxiety, loosened slightly

(i though Crowns were all nobles, but that’s not the case)

Kate: Nice to meet you, Liam-san

Liam: call me Liam. No honorifics, okay? And this is my buddy Harry

Harrison: it’s a bad friend’s mistake… Harrison Gray. Harry or Harrison, whatever you want

I’m a liar fox cursed. Now, it’s a lie or it’s true?

Harrison smiled thinly, his milky hair swaying, and the scent of mint tickled my nose

Kate: it is true?

Harrison: hmm, do you think so?

You can check the answers, you have a month

(.. you’re kind of an elusive person, I can’t read your emotion at all)

(There is no doubt that he is very popular)

Alphonse: then, let us say hello next. Sorry for the delay, my name is Alfons Sylvatica

To be able to spend a month playing with a love robin like you… I’m really looking forward to it

(Hmm? You said you would play with me?)

Alfons: this is Elbert Greetia. Please consider me his friend as well as his aide

Kate: Elbert.. nice to meet you

Alfons-san, Elbert-sama, nice to meet you

Elbert: … El, is she beautiful?

(eh!?)

Alfons: yes, as much as you

Hunting gun man: hey hey, what a rude thing to say in front of a lady

(Well, it’s true that there aren’t many people more beautiful than master Elbert)

Roger: I’m Roger, I used to be a doctor. Nice to meet you, girl

When I instinctively braced myself for the ferocious smile, Roger-san raised his eyebrows as if amused.

Roger: well, it’s been a month. Let’s take it easy, huh?

Kate: yes, Roger-san

(also, I don’t know the name…)

Looking around the dining room, I noticed 2 people who had barely talked to each other, and turned my gaze to them

In particular, the man in the long jacket doesn’t even try to hide his stoic aura, has the air of a real ‘villain’

It’s unapproachable, to be honest

When our eye met, the twisted/ distorted his face in disgust

The man with sly eyes: tch…. disgusting

(eh…)

A sudden intense disgust is directed at me

Victor: well, don’t say that, take care of yourself, Jude

Jude: I refuse, what are you thinking about catching such an ordinary person/ mediocrity by brandishing the Queen’s power?

(ordinary person..)

(..eh, maybe you’re defending me right now?)

Although he seemed to be different from the members of Crown, he may be a surprisingly conscientious person

Kate: Thank you very much, Jude-san

When I greeted him with a little hope in my heart, Amethyst’s cruel-looking eyes narrowed

Jude: I feel sorry for you for being forced to brign you here. Did I rescue you?

Kate: eh?

Jude: I’m just kidding. what are you expecting?

(wha..!?)

Jude: well, it’s okay if you do your best. You can hold it for a month and then run away and be killed

After pouring harsh words and showing a cruel smile, Jude-san left the room

(after all, he was a cold person… and also a type with a strong habit)

(is that peculiar way of speaking, is he an immigrant from somewhere?)

Tall young man: he’s like that to everyone, so don’t worry about it.

Kate: wow!

Before I knew it, a tall young man was standing next to me

(suddenly, I didn’t notice it at all)

(this person just said ‘let’s kill’ me…)

Ellis: I’m Ellis

With a calm and gentle voice, just by being by is side, you can feel the temperature frop

It made me uneasy. As if something was peeking through the open darkness

Kate: Ellis-kun, nice to meet you

Ellis: Nice to meet you, me and Jude often go out on business

While I’m here, I’ll make you as happy as possible

(Happy?)

From the person who tried to kill me a few minute ago, I was taken aback when a line like a proposal popped out

(i wonder if it’s a unique social commentary/ etiquette)

Kate: Thank you. What kind of work do you do outside?

Ellis: Trading company. Jude is the president. I’m an assistant

(That person is a president…)

Victor: okay. Have you all identified yourself with this? It seems that there are some children who haven’t reveal the curse

Well. You will find out yourself while you’re working as a ‘fairy tale master’

Bang, clapping his hands and Victor-sama happily laughed

Victor: Then, before we show you around the castle, I would like to show you a welcome trick

Liam: wow! Clap clap clap------

Roger: don’t waste precious time again

Harrison: are you insane? I’d rather take a shower than stare at such a poor thing

Alfons: well, isn’t it nice to see the idiots of wierdos who are happy to expose their clumsiness?

Victor: I need collaboratorss, but who won’t run? El?

Elbert: I don’t like it…

Victor: hmm. I wonder why your sad profile is so attractive. Then what about Ellis?

Ellis: if that makes her happy, fine

Victor: thank you for your altruistic and devoted course of action. Then lay down on the table over there-------

(suddenly, the magic show started…)

They are laughing happily in front of you, and they are taking one life without delay tonight

Even the laughter seemed stir up fear when I remembered the sight at the scene of the murder

William: are you scared?

Kate: …! William-sama

Part 8

Still unable to meet his gaze, I lowered my head and stared at his feet

William: it’s polite to give an honorific title. I’d like to have a more informal relationship with you. Just with William

Kate: yes, William

(.……look)

I couldn’t help but obey the order, so I gave him a title in my heart

William: that’s right. I won’t use my power recklessly. Can you show me your face?

Invited my the gentle tone of voice, I fearfully raise my gaze upwards

William: are you scared of us?

Kate: yes, I’m scared

I thought It was rude to say something like this, but my voice spill out on its own

Kate: I didn’t know anything about you. Or about the existence of this world…

If It came true, I wanted to remain ignorant

But I, who didn’t know, can’t go back

William: do you want to know more?

I feel like I’m going to flinch at the words

Kate: I think I want to face each other in my own way

It’s necessary because I need to fulfill my mission and be trusted…

William: ….huh?

William narrowed his red eyes as if exploring, and gave a faint smile to his lips

William: well, let’s wait and see

Victor: Yeah, as you can see, Ellis surviced the rain of knifes unscathed!

Liam: wow, that’s amazing! As expected of Victor

(oh..no! Even though it was my welsome trick, I didn’t see it at all!)

Harrison: yeah, wow. Good work Ellis

Roger: didn’t you get stab with a knife?

Ellis: it was a little tough, but it’s barely okay

Alfons: as expected of kinetic vision and reflexes

Elbert: … relying on the physical abilities of the collaborators… isn’t that a trick?

Victor: well then, this is enough for the welcome entertainment

Despite the cold attitude of the audience, Victor spread his arms in a good mood

Victor: May I show you our castle of evil, Crown Castle?

Part 9

Victor: come on, miss robin. Don’t stray from me

Once you’re scented by the darkness of the castle, you can’t come back

Parting from the members of the Crown, I went out into the hallway as Victor-sama led me

Kate: Yes, Victor-sama

Victor: Victor. Isn’t it sad that I’m the only one with William being called out?

(Both William and this person are clearly high-ranking people, but----)

Kate: Victor. Please guide me

(i feel so good)

Victor: This is the common room. It’s a room where we drink, play, have party and discuss strategies.

Ah, don’t touch the leftmost glass on the third row from the top. Dangerous things will pop out

(i wonder what will come out… a knife? Pistol?)

Victor: This is Roger’s laboratory, and also the infirmary. If you get injured, you should get medical treatment here. Crown’s mission is dangerous side by side. Ah, but fortunately they are still alive and well. Miraculously

(a life-threatening mission is an everyday occurrence?)

Victor: This is the hall. Balls and evening parties are held here. But this castle is special, and we rarely invite people.

Victor: Even the servants hire a small number of reliable people. To protect the secret that you have learned

(if you’ve gone that far to keep secret, why was the mansion unlocked?)

Victor: and here is your room

Kate:…eh?

What I was shown was a clean room with white as the base color, and a classy room that seem to be inhabited by the upper class

Kate: did someone live here?

vidtorL no. When you were being introduced by everyone, I ordered the servants to prepare this room for you

(in that moment, such a thing? I didn’t even feel the presence of a servant…)

Kate: ah….

Suddenly, I found a typewriter on my desk and let out a voice

Kate: how did you know I used a typewriter?

No one should know that I have been practicing for several months so that I can also do writing work

Victor: huh? Is that so? I didn’t know, just coincidence. I thought it would be useful to have for making a report

Victor blinked his eyes curiously and stared at me meaningfully

Victor: miraculour coincidence… even on the same day, twice

(twice..?)

Victor: I feel like it’s fate that your’re here

Well, don’t stay too long in the lady’s room too long. If anything happens, ring the bell there

Your exclusive maid will answer your request no matter what. Oh, write down the instructions

Kate: thank you, I understand

Victor: also, there are quite a few people in the Crown who are morally bankrupt

Leaving someone in the room can be synonymous with surrendering your body, so be careful

(though I didn’t see people here so hungry for women)

Kate: I remember it well

Victor: finally, let me convey my thanks

Kate: thank you…?

Victor: oh, thank you for trying to talk to us

You tried to have a dialogue with us while watching the scene with your own eyes

You think I was person who could understand you?

Since you are that kind of person, let me give you one piece of advice

After a month, if you want to go back to your normal life, don’t let them steal your heart

Kate: will they steal my heart?

Victor: yes. Curses are destined for tragic ruin

If you want the kind of happiness that pure maidens dream of, don’t fall in love with them

(love…)

The unexpected story confuses me

Kate: I didn’t even think about that…

I’m just going to prove I can keep secrets and go home

Victor: Maybe it suites you, who has free wings

Victor narrowed his eyes deceitfully as if he was holding it

Victor: nevertheless, if you choose to share the fate with them. Darkness will gladly welcome you

My body trembles at the bewitching smile

Victor: Good night, Kate

Kate: Good night, Victor

Thus, with the sound of the door slowly closing, my sinful life began

It’s easy to be happy when life is a fairy tales.

Don’t do what you shouldn’t do. For example, so…

A forest you shouldn’t enter, a door you shouldn’t open, a secret you shouldn’t know.

Don’t fall, love

However, the world of darkness suddenly appeared, revealing its abyss and tempting me

What will happen to my heart and body if I touch those fingertips beckoning me?

I have a certain feeling that something will change decisively

Breaking the taboo of ‘don’t do’, what lies ahead-----

-----I don’t know yet

The copyright belongs to Cybird. There may be some mistakes in my translation, feel free to tell me if you see them.

#ikemen games #cybird ikemen #ikemen series #ikemen villains #ikevil #cybird ikemen series #cybird #cybird otome #ikemen villain prologue

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jackiequick · 1 year ago

Text

Once Upon A Time OC ✨

Royal Return —> Cadence Nolan 🎯

Full Name (given by the royals & Rumpelstiltskin) : Princess Mi Amore Cadenza aka Cadence Nolan

Cursed names: Skylar Lane, Annie Marley Danvers

Nicknames: Cadence, Cadie or Cady, Denza, Sunburst, Princess, The Littlest Charming, Princess Charming

Height: 5’6

Birthplace: The Enchanted Forest

Family: Her parents and one of her brothers are dead. Her big brother Prince Charming, David Nolan is alive. And so is everyone else is alive.

Seasons: 1-7

Face Claim: Melissa Benoist

Half of the Family Tree —> Her brother David, sister in law Snow, niece & nephew Emma & Neal. Her grandson Henry and sister/half mother in law Regina. (This family is a complex one ngl but theses are the main ones)

Friends: Ruby, Regina, Rumple, Hook, Jefferson and others she meets along the way. Of course, you also the The Dwarfs aka Grumpy and his family of brothers.

Romance: Ex-boyfriend, Rider. Other than that currently single and ready to mingle.

The titles she takes on: Princess, Farmer, Knight, Retriever and on occasion, Pirate.

Her most notable title is: Princess & The Pea, it’s why she can be so annoyed and stuffy sometimes. Also it’s why she tends to challenge people on deals and play on both side of an agreement. Never judge a person by their momentary appearance.

Relations: She works for Rumple and Evil Queen, search & retrieving items for them for a good price in return. Pretending to be a princess and warriors for the royal family she placed into with her older brother David.

—-

When Cadence became a princess due to the deal with Rumple, she never thought it would somewhat boring. Sit still, look pretty and pretend to be romanticized with the other royals of the kingdom, she wanted to know more than just stay in the castle walls. Which lead her to find Rumple and challenge him a deal for a high rank, he didn’t need a maiden of any sort, due to him already having Belle, but he did need someone to search the forests and retrieve items for him.

And Cadence agreed shortly after. Two days later she returned with a mirror ball from Wonderland and Rumple was more than impressed. The man was happy and knew she will be a very helpful asset. His Royal Retriever he liked to call her.

Eventually he started to work with her, giving her a special necklace and bracelet for she can always find her way back. Her dresses were more practical clothes on occasion for being on the field.

She met more than a few people on her travels and one of them being Snow White. In which a week later, Bandit Snow White met her brother Prince Charming.

—> Snow nickname her Cadie, short for Cadence. Even called her princess a few times. Little did they know they would be family soon enough..

—-

Time after during the curse came, it was pure chaos and she fought alongside her brother, making sure Emma ended up in the wardrobe safely.

Cadence held Emma in her arms and placed the necklace comfortably around her.

David gasped, “Cadie, that’s your necklace you need it. That how you get around the realms.”

“Emma needs it more than I do. Find her way home.” She repiled placing the baby in the wardrobe with a smile.

David placed a sad smile and kisses his daughter forehead whispering a few words closing the doors.

Both siblings told side by side fighting the guards, sadly they got hurt. Charming more than Cadenza…

Regina arrived with a crazy look on her face as her spell brought everyone to Storybrooke..

—-

In Storybrooke, she was cursed to be a women named Skylar Lane. One of the bakers of the town, always bringing sweet treats and flowers to the people of Storybrooke. Especially to Mr. Gold and Mayor Mills on a daily basis.

She knocked on the door, “Afternoon, Regina.”

She opened the door kindly, “Good afternoon, Skylar.”

She noticed the look on her face and asked if she was okay. Regina explained that Henry was gone, she reassured her that afternoon that he will show up soon. She was dragged to the Police Station by the Mayor to see the cops know where he is.

That’s where she met Emma Swan, trying to help them find Henry with her best friend, Mary Margaret advice. To say Regina was pissed off was a understatement, she just wanted her son and ready to lock anyone up if it meant she can get the job done quicker. Skylar had to be the voice of reason for both sides, telling Regina to stay home while Emma went looking for Henry.

Skylar went to visit a coma patient at Storybrooke Hospital under the name, John Doe, she visited the man very week talking to him, bringing flowers and sweets in hope he would wake up. She felt connected to him, like they were friends or something stronger. Little did she know that’s her big brother (Henry would tell her that tale later). She would play with her bracelet as she spoke and would always leave giving the man a gentle squeeze on his shoulder. But he never woke up..

—> Emma stayed in town, of course. She was glad, especially when the blonde moved in with Mary Margaret because that mean Skylar got to see both women on a daily basis after catching up with Ruby at the Dinner. She became friends with Emma Swan, sharing stores, drinking together and giving each other advice. Skylar always tended to help Emma on cases around town such as the Mary Margaret arrest, Ashley’s situation with Mr. Gold, The issue with John Doe, and so much more.

Stranger things kept happening in the town involving everyone who lived there. Skylar even felt it too, especially when her ex-boyfriend who mothers hated her kept showing up to try and win her back, she stupidly said yes to a date and her ex-boyfriend trying to even kidnap her. Emma saved the day of course.

----

With everything that happened, Skylar felt odd. The shift in the air felt stronger than ever, she picked up on the little things. Words, phases and movements in the town. Especially after hearing Henry Mills talk to her about being a character in his storybook…

Her curiosity was brought to light when she delivered Emma her favorite type of donut to the station, noticing the necklace. Emma shrugged saying the necklace was something she had since she was a baby, however the clasp in the back got weak.

Skylar suggested that she’ll take it to the jeweler, her jeweler being Mr. Gold, for a retighten. Emma heisted for a moment but agreed wanting it back by sundown, at least.

She agreed taking the necklace off her hands noticing the fine details. The rich vintage gold details, the engraved chested green and white diamonds shaped into swirling around one around like a flower shinning around daylight. It reminded Skylar on her very own bracelet, lost in pieces at home. She stepped into Mr. Gold’s shop with a smile.

He was waiting for her, patient for her loyal curious self to walk in. Mr. Gold has been awake from a while now and waiting for her to be. The more people awaken from the curse and not down for the count, the better.

“What can I do for you today, Ms. Lane?” He asked, noticing the necklace and bracelet in her hands with a smile.

“Ms. Swan needs the clasp in the back of her necklace tighten.” She replies simply, handing it to him to examine.

“Ah, I see. And why not take it somewhere else?”

“Because I know you can do the job better and give it a fine cleaning.”

He noticed the look in her eye, something he’s been noticing rather recently ever since her kidnapping. She tried to hide it, most of the time she could cover up the look on her face but like Charming, David Nolan, she couldn’t.

She sighed, “Miss Swan says that this necklace belong to her, saying that she assumed her parents gave it to her before she was given up..”

“And?” He asked hoping that the real women behind that curse persona would shine though and speak up.

“I have a bracelet that is oddly similar at home..what if..what if, they’re a match? Same jeweler or something. Ever since Emma came, in felt drawn to her..”

“Like love of some kind?”

“No love, like I know her. Her and Mary Margaret act the same way..can you look into it?”

“I need the whole necklace and bracelet to do so.”

She smiled, running off to her small apartment complex searching for the broken bracelet. It was always a rather shatter piece of jewelry, she brought for half price years ago. The green diamonds were missing but the white stayed the same, never fallen off. Skylar return the piece to Mr. Gold and went to continue her day at the diner, working alongside Ruby and being dragged on a case with Emma.

It was a long day, Skylar couldn’t be more tired and out of breath from everything, however she promised Emma that necklace to be returned safely and surely to the loft. Mr. Gold smiled when she walked in, he’s been working on the necklace and bracelet all day. They were freshly tighten, cleaned and the diamonds were engraved the way they should be.

“Y-you fixed them?” She said in awe, gently holding them in her grasp.

“Try them on.” He replies with a smile, standing behind the counter.

“Alright.”

She placed the bracelet swiftly on her wrist as if it shined, feeling a awing source within her and chuckled. Mr. Gold told her again, wear the bracelet and necklace. She hesitated since it doesn’t belong to her, it never has, but she did it anyway. It couldn’t hurt right? It’s just a necklace.

The second Skylar placed the necklace firming on her neck, having the diamonds facing the correct direction and such. She ran her fingers across the jewelry smiling and turned away thanking Mr. Gold about to walk out when she paused. She gasped harshly, a sharp wave of memories and emotions washed over from the moment she was recruited to be a princess to the day she put Emma in the wardrobe.

Skylar blinked tempering with the new found information and looked over her shoulder to see Mr. Gold leaning against the counter with a soft smile.

“Is something wrong, my dear Mi Amore?” He asked as his smile grew seeing the look in her eyes.

It took her a moment to speak until she said, “Nothing Rumple, I think we need to talk.”

—//—

Thank you so much for read this fic! I hope you like it. Remember to like, share and comment

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