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#not gonna tag this because idk what the fuck i'm talking about lmao
psymachine · 4 months
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ok sorry but imagine dennis stalking mac online and seeing that he wants to try freeuse parties. this sends dennis into a jealous tailspin which he rationalizes by "worrying" about how dumb and easy to manipulate (read: murder) mac is. so he creates a fake party invite to lure mac somewhere, plays music and ambient party sounds off youtube, and blindfolds mac when he arrives.
then -- through the use of different voices, special effects, and sex toys -- he pretends to be like 7 different dudes running a train on mac.
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sparky-is-spiders · 27 days
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Jonelias Week Day 1 (Which is definitely today I swear), for the prompt "No Powers AU"
This one... maybe got away from me. This is actually only the first half of what I've written so far, and probably the first third overall! I do plan to post this to Ao3 at some point (although I suspect I'll need to do a lengthy round of editing first lmao). It's some very self-indulgent nonsense, which is a lot of what I write, but now it's getting put in the main tags of a ship during said ship's event week. So. It may also be a little bit "aromantic dude tries to figure out what having a crush is supposed to be like." Also a lot of "dude who took Principals of Accounting once pretending it knows what office work is like." Anyway, quick warning before we begin, and the rest will be under the read-more:
Stalking (played for laughs) for most of the fic.
Just. A weird amount of obsession.
Ok that should be it I think. Fic under the cut.
Jon's new boss was, quite possibly, the most boring man in the world. He wore the same outfit every day (pale dress shirt with dark unpatterned tie and gray slacks and matching suit jacket). The only personal effect in his entire office was a potted plant on the windowsill (some sort of succulent, and definitely fake). He always arrived to work exactly half an hour early and left exactly half an hour late. The only hobby he appeared to show any interest in was scheduling, which he seemed to find both deeply engaging and remarkably irritating. In fact, he was apparently so opposed to the idea of mixing his work with his personal life that he might as well not have existed beyond the walls of their office. Jon had never been more fascinated by anyone else in his entire life.
It stared with the transfer to the accounting department. Elias had met with him personally to get him acclimated to his new role. He had been blandly polite, and blandly handsome, and Jon had stopped listening to him about five minutes into their conversation. It was probably bad form, really. The software Elias was droning on and on about sounded like it was about to become a central feature of his days. He really should've been paying attention to it. Instead, he pretended to make eye contact while zeroing in on the top of Bouchard's forehead (a very useful trick, really) and became inordinately focused on the small lock of hair that had fallen across it. It was terribly distracting, and Jon had wondered how he hadn't noticed it. And then he wondered how it had come to be there. And then he had built up an entire story involving a murder, an illicit affair with the assistant director of marketing, and the potted succulent. And then he had noticed Bouchard eying him with what could've been suspicion or amusement or irritation or nothing whatsoever, and had been forced to rapidly pretend to care about their company's bad debt expense policy. Bouchard had indulged him, and had spoken with the calm authority of someone who knew what they were talking about, and had even managed to avoid being overtly condescending (a feat forever out of Jon's reach). At the end he had shaken Jon's hand (with a nice, firm grip), and had told him "I'm looking forward to working with you, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful member of our team." Jon had left that meeting with a mind shrouded in a fog of boredom and a faint sensation of warmth which he decided was best attributed to curiosity and left otherwise unexamined. Over the next few weeks, Jon had tried to subtly inquire into Bouchard's life. At the time, he had been naively under the impression that surely he must have let slip something about his life; some odd quirk or funny story or harmless bit of information which could justify Jon's blooming curiosity. Unfortunately; "He lives in Chelsea, I'm pretty sure?" (Sasha) "He's currently in a meeting. Honestly Jon, you'll be better off just sending an email. Now can I please get back to work?" (Rosie, probably lying about the meeting) "He actually lives here in the office. Set up a cozy little home away from home in one of the storage closets and sneaks out at night to raid the canteen. And he's having an affair with the assistant director of marketing." (Tim, definitely lying (but maybe a mind reader? Also, full of brilliant ideas for places Jon could maybe set up a cot whenever he needs to stay overnight)) Clearly, Jon would have to take matters into his own hands if he wanted answers. That was fine. It could be his own private little research project.
Jon liked to think that the entire thing had actually been quite reasonable, and that he had acted within the bounds of their pre-established relationship as employee and supervisor. Surely any rational person had to realize that nobody could possibly be that uninteresting. Anyone would be curious as to what dark secrets Bouchard his behind his well-tailored suits and polite, professional demeanor. … perhaps most rational persons would not meticulously record the movements, behavior, and daily appearance of their colleague in a discreet notebook (with annotations, color-coding, and graphs where appropriate), but Jon had always prided himself on his dedication to research and understanding. So far Jon had collected frustratingly little data. If Bouchard was hiding anything, it wasn't apparent from his schedule (see pages 8-13, figure 2.b), his eating habits (see page 22), or his lone plant (see page five, figure 1.c). His breaks did seem specially timed to avoid other people (and he appeared not to engage in many social behaviors generally), but he never acted irritated or otherwise unhappy to encounter one of his subordinates, so Jon wasn't entirely sure if it was deliberate avoidance or simple coincidence. Really, the only truly odd thing about him was his inexplicable interest in Jon. That very morning, for example, Bouchard had stopped by his cubicle for a fifteen minute discussion on the upcoming Annual Team Luncheon, an event Jon had never attended before (due to an annual migraine which coincidentally always happened to occur on the exact date of the luncheon), which Jon did not plan to attend, and which honestly sounded like some sort of violation of the Geneva Convention. The topic itself was not especially odd (small talk was an archaic tradition which had stubbornly clung on in every workplace Jon had ever set foot in), but Bouchard's low propensity for inter-office socialization combined with the fact that he had both chosen Jon specifically as his conversational partner was… highly suspicious. Most people who encountered Jon inevitably concluded that he was more effort than he was worth (an attitude Jon mostly appreciated).
And of course, there had also been their interaction two days ago, when Elias had paused briefly to inquire as to whether Jon would be staying late, and what he was working on, and if he might perhaps consider heading home soon because there was only so much overtime they could pay him. Or on Friday, when he had managed to hold two separate conversations with Jon where very little was said. Honestly, Jon somewhat suspected that Elias had spoken to him more in the past few weeks than he had spoken to any of their colleagues for the entire time Jon had been there to observe him. Most of Jon's notes were now dedicated to their interactions. From his cot in the unused storage room (which was indeed a good place to stay overnight, thank you Tim), he could jot down everything he recalled about their interaction; it had begun at 8:32 and had concluded at 8:47; the weather was warm and slightly humid, although the office interior remained at a comfortable 21 °C. Bouchard's shirt had been a nice, cool gray, which complemented the silver of his eyes. Jon (who had been busy digging for his favorite pen (the ink was a lovely deep green color, and it was usually kept on the left side of the top desk drawer, and Jon had no idea where else it could have possibly gone)) had settled on "irritation" as his tone, which Bouchard either had not noticed or had not cared enough to acknowledge. He had easily dominated the conversation, and Jon could admit in the sanctity of his research journal that his voice had been soothing enough to cool away some of Jon's annoyance. He wrote his conclusion: Subject behaved near-identically in tone, posture, body language, and apparent mood as he has in all previous communications. Subject displayed no strong thoughts or opinions on subject of discussion nor conversational partner. Interaction was pleasant but slightly dull, no new information discovered. It was almost exactly the same as every previous conclusion. Jon had to admit, so many months with so little progress was… discouraging. He shifted on the narrow mattress and winced when his movements aggravated his backache (which was surely unrelated to his frequent occupancy of the cot). It was becoming more and more apparent that the only possible solution was to do some actual, direct investigation. His first idea (break into Bouchard's office) seemed a tad far (also, he didn't know how to pick locks). His second idea (follow him home) seemed a stretch further than the previous one, and was perhaps best saved as a last resort. His third idea (something something computers? (perhaps "idea" was a bit generous)) would almost certainly require Sasha, who would have questions Jon couldn't answer. He flipped idly through his notes, half-skimming, half-thinking. It was only when his gaze landed on figure 2.b, Weekly Schedule of E. Bouchard, that he actually came up with something reasonable. Something actionable.
#wish there was a way to search for all italicized text in a wordpad document... cause tumblr de-italicized it all lol#anyway jon manages to be an eye-aligned Freak even when the eye doesn't exist#worried this is ooc tbh but fuck it we ball ig.#anyway hope you enjoyed.#i am. i am so unbelievably nervous about posting this in a way that invites the scrutiny of people beyond my trusted mutuals.#anyway i'm personally deeply entertained by the idea of elias trying to be the most boring version of himself possible.#like just for fun. he's having a great time and nobody else is sure that he has a personality. idk it just speaks to me#also i made them accountants because that's my destiny. there are spreadsheets in my future. the stars have spoken.#but that's ok because i like them. they're kinda soothing honestly.#i really enjoyed principals of accounting tbh.#i barely know what i'm typing at this point i'm super tired lmao.#but this isn't about me this is about Them.#jon saw elias (barely talks to anyone. has never mentioned a personal life. primarily focused on Work.) and went 'wow. freakish.#i've never seen this behavior in anyone before. anyway i'm going to avoid speaking w/ my coworkers whenever possible#and move into a storage closet so i can stay late whenever i want.'#elias 100% knows about that btw. i imagine its the sort of thing that would be difficult to hide. he's not gonna say anything tho <3#anyway sorting tags#jonelias#joneliasweek#joneliasweek2024#sparkwrites#anyway time for sims4 i think.
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lucy-ghoul · 5 months
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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herrmit · 5 months
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not to start shit but. tell me you didn't understand princess jellyfish without telling me you didn't understand princess jellyfish
#idk idk something about the lines we draw to divide women being ultimately useless as they degrade both sides#something something bridging gaps between people with different interests#something something literal actual sisterhood and solidarity between women#i'm never one to defend tiktok i'm not even on there and it surprises me that princess jellyfish is being brought up#but like. what is this supposed to mean. to 'tiktokify' something#girlboss narrative what hello? what? you're throwing words at me and i don't know what they mean#but it's hilarious that this post comes off as something the sisterhood would have posted before all their character development#because this is a story about empowerment not through appearance- but that inner change is what beauty is made of#the development tsumiki and the other members of the sisterhood get is not that now they dress well#but that their often self-imposed isolation is not an antidote to os being ostracized in high school and having social anxiety#and that they've dehumanized other women in the process of defending themselves#and it's not that they have to change who they are of their interests but that they full accept themselves and can therefore#be comfort with who they are#and better navigate the world. and form friendships . and human connection and FUCK#like what are you talking about#sorry i know no one here follows me for princess jellyfish takes but that's what we're gonna get today#i think when you have a fandom / readership as small as pj (in the west at least) every bad take hits that much harder lmao#anyway. kuranosuke princess rights. we are all princesses. etc etc#princess jellyfish#kuragehime#screeds#screeds fR FR#txt#i didn't want to tag this person or show their name bc it ain't personal i just want to address takes like these .#“girl's girls are toxic” “not like other girls are toxic” what if we were all princesses idk. what if we loved each other
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marshmellowtea · 1 year
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Proshippers literally pretend that POCD means you are a pedophile and want it what the fuck are you on about? Proshippers try to force pwOCD to engage in checking compulsions because they pretend it's pro-recovery.
normally this is the kind of ask that i would just quietly delete but i'm actually going to answer it rn because this is so absurd i have to laugh. no, bestie, the people pretending that people with pocd are pedophiles are YOU GUYS. that's all you! antis are the one who i have seen treating intrusive thoughts as secret desires. antis are the ones i've seen with "people with pocd dni" in their bios. and fucking antis are the ones who have made pocd so commonplace on this website in the first fucking place because of the way you try to look for proof people are predators in the most innocuous shit.
believe it or not, part of ocd recovery is accepting the thoughts you have and learning to deal with them in some way. y'all want people to feel ashamed of their intrusive thoughts forever to "prove" they're a good person and that's the exact opposite of healing. that's just making ocd worse. and, in speaking of learning to deal with them, one of the ways to DO that is to write fiction about said thoughts and make them less scary to you! that's part of the reason why i create and enjoy fucked up fictional content! it's a way of dealing with my intrusive thoughts that puts the power back in MY hands, and treating these fictional depictions meant as coping mechanisms as "proof" someone's a predator is not just stupid, it's also cruel, because you are actively trying to make someone's disorder worse.
i guess you missed this part of my original post, so i'll say it again here: when i was an anti, you fucking people had me so convinced i was doomed to sa a child because of 1) the fact i like dark fiction exploring topics such as csa, and 2) my intrusive thoughts themselves, that i thought i was going to have to commit suicide. my life was in danger because of you people. and i was a fucking teenager when this all was happening! i should not have had to deal with that, but because you made this environment so toxic and preyed on my already existing ocd, i did! i was miserable and i hated myself and i thought i was a predator in the making! that's a horrible way to live!
tldr; go fuck yourself anon lmao, you have no idea what you're talking about and the extensive damage people like you have done to people with ocd. fuck off <3
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y'know sometimes I go to make a post on this here webbed site, and I almost always end up deletin it cause I measure it through the "how widely applicable is this" + "how horribly can people twist this" metrics and it just stops my little fingies from typin
(this turned into me typing an essay in the tags cause I very much did need to process some shit lmao)
#I have thoughts I wanna get out there#but also I have had people threaten me and harrass me for far less than my thoughts of#'hey maybe my community isn't fuckin normal about trans women' and#'you can be fucked in the gender and also not use transmisogynistic stereotypes and terminologies to do that'#while also pointing out that transmasculine experiences are frequently ignored erased minimized and criticized habitually#(I have eliminated my worries via tag talk lmao so i will keep on processin down here)#Like idk its such a difficult intersection of shit because obviously a lot of transmasculine folks have experienced primarily if not only#other transmasc spaces online and have some deep set transmisogyny going on and then also the other way around of a lot of transfeminine#folk have primarily if not only interacted within transfem spaces and have deep set transmisogyny goin on#(which I'm not gonna argue on transmisogyny being a transfem only word or about transandrophobia or anti-transmasculinity my verbige is#constantly changing around this topic because of the shit that gets hurled at transmascs that use any of the transmasc specific words or th#OG word that applies to the misogyny experienced and intertwined with transness just: language is hard and imperfect so I'm using what I'm#using right now)#and anyway so those two groups of folk clash on their own and have a lot of strained and difficult communication and then there's a third#group that intentionally causes further rifts by trolling and sending hate anons and making accounts pretending to be transfem or transmasc#and shitting on ''the other side'' (heavy HEAVY quotations on that one)#and that all combines into an absolute clusterfuck of lack of understanding or sympathy from either 'side' of things for the other#there is just a lack of fundamental knowledge about our brothers sisters and others shared between us all and it is INFURIATING
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nereidprinc3ss · 7 months
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okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em
hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it
warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......
a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye
“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 
“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 
He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 
“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 
“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 
“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 
The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 
You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 
“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 
Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 
“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 
Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 
“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 
And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 
The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  
You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  
It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 
---------------------------------------------------
The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  
He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 
“Can we talk?” 
You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 
“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 
“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"
“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 
The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 
Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 
“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 
“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 
His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 
“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 
“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 
He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  
“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 
“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 
“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  
You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 
“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 
You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 
After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 
“Are you still mad at me?” 
He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 
“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 
“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 
He chuckles. 
“At an entirely different university.” 
“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”
While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 
“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 
“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 
Spencer sighs. 
“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 
You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 
“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.
Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 
“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 
But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.
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simpjaes · 8 months
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in ur opinion who in enha is the biggest perv like the mf is so dirty minded to the point where he probably feels shame for it but can’t help himself when his mind wanders and he has to sneak off to thr nearest bathroom to get himself off because of u
MTL: hyung line + being a shameful perv
tags: this is kind of just general personality stuff, when it comes to "girls" just assume you are the girl in question.
most
★ sunghoon: be honest, you saw it coming right? sunghoon is definitely a pervert but probably cares a lot about who knows it and/or who he wants to keep that from. so on the days where it gets like....real bad....where he wants you so bad, but he knows he can't have you or something, he's running off to find somewhere, fucking anywhere to be alone so he can relieve the stress. otherwise? he won't be able to look you in the eye without saying something inappropriate or losing his mind over how hot you look in that fuckin' top. the type to slam you against the front door and start grinding the second yall step inside because he cant contain his cock and also, he wasn't allowed to say shit about it bc ur ass brought him to see your family at like...a church event or something idk
☆ jake: super perv and super bad at hiding it. also super ashamed when literally everyone sees it. i'm talking like, college parties getting to dance with you and trying to finger you on the couch type perverted. he isn't always in his right mind, either pussy drunk or feeling the intense need to be pussy drunk and no in-between. super ashamed of it though, because what's more embarrassing than walking around a college party with a boner? idk...maybe cumming in your pants because you grinded on him a bit too perfectly during that last song :/?? yeah, that might be worse. (he went home with tears in his eyes) disclaimer: jake would only be ashamed if anyone other than his girl saw him be so pathetic. he low key gets off on the embarrassment tho
★ jay: blatant pervert. the one who seems more down to earth and chill but also the one slapping your ass or staring right at your tits like "what i'd do to get my dick between those rn....."
probably struggles to get girls sometimes because of it ngl, but he has no shame about it either way. and man, when he does get between a girl's legs? everybody gonna hear about it. he might censor the name of the girl but he's doing a full show and tell otherwise. bro probably always begs to record his antics too. (he wants the praise and validation)
☆ heeseung: pervert to the max. worse than anyone and everyone. he isn't ashamed of it only because he's good at hiding it from the ppl who don't need to know. like this man would not give a fuck if he got caught slipping a hand up a skirt or eye fucking someone's sister tho (lmao), you're gonna know what he wants and he's not gonna mince words about it with you or anyone else.
what's that? you're dating jake? oh well why does that matter? Heeseung is still gonna let you know that you should think he's hot and if you want some of that dick, you know where to find him. he wants to be everyone's booty call and is an absolute simp and slut and all things in-between.
least
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ninathekllrr · 4 months
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what exactly did i do that makes you believe i'm a dream kinnie lmao. that's not based on my behavior that's just you trying to insult me in a socially acceptable way, just like with the tags that mention fourchan.
also yes, your friend definitely had 0 ill intent when saying arabs are just always assholes because of how they're raised. that was definitely not racist at all. me quoting them is racist tho, because i'm an adult and theyre a neurodivergent minor. cuz that's obviously how that works.
1) dream kinnie thing was a joke and yah im just tryna insult u, u find kids amusing brah and said weird shit about celeste ofc I’m gonna make insulting jokes
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2) and I already explained this idk my friend was referring to my fucking SELF not all Arabs lawwwwdddd. I talked about my experience as a middle eastern person who was raised in a toxic and violent household to Jane ! Arabs being assholes and aggressive is a STEREOTYPE. One that people have often placed me under in real life and online.
And I wasn’t targeting u for quoting my friend. I’m more concerned about these 😭😭
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I don’t even know what happened. I was sleeping. I woke up to a bunch of dms and pings and I was being accused of some deadnaming bullshittery from months ago when me deadnaming was not even ADDRESSED!
you called me an asshole and then when I stated numerous of times in the ticket w celeste and dms that i wasn’t doing it purposely + I didn’t know and I’ve NEVER talked to u + u held a one sided grudge and beefed and targeted me for no reason and u implied that u didn’t believe us/Celeste 🔥🔥
Can’t be woke on a culture, esp if it’s not ur own, esp if you’re WHITE and have NO clue what ur on about :pp
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^ Jane !
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genericpuff · 5 months
Note
On your post about rather having 100 mature readers than having a large group of immature readers for your comic, in the tags you mentioned the "hanza situation". If you don't mind me asking, what's that?
So there's been talk about Hanza , the creator of The Guy Upstairs on Webtoon, supposedly wanting to drop the comic altogether due to how their fanbase ships the main characters (one of which is a serial killer) and just due to the fact they've fallen out of love with their own comic over the course of publishing it on Webtoons. The comic isn't confirmed cancelled yet, it's just what they apparently want to do and are gonna be running it by WT for approval.
Which like, yeah, I don't blame them if that's true and if they've "fallen out of love" with their work, that shit can and does happen all the time especially when your work winds up exploding to a degree that you become 'detached' from it. And I don't blame them for being ick at the fandom for their comic shipping their main characters, apparently that started when it was being pirated on another site and miscategorized as a romance when it's a horror / thriller comic but that's just what I've heard from others who do read the comic.
The actual vibe on the whole situation is unclear, they posted like last week about how the two characters were siblings which I THOUGHT was an April Fool's joke because it was legit posted on April 1st. But now apparently they actually ARE siblings? So they deadass just spoiled their comic before it was over? Though apparently this was for the purpose of trying to get their fandom to knock it off, but it's just led to people getting even more pissed because they see that as Hanza 'baiting' them into reading a dark romance comic which... it never was.
IDK man I'm getting such mixed signals off the whole thing esp because we haven't seen these DM's/emails/etc. which like... okay obviously Hanza doesn't need to share anything they're not comfortable with but there's tinfoil hat theories about them using it as a cover for just not wanting to do the comic anymore. But I don't really subscribe fully to that theory because... why? I'm just not sure which thread of logic to follow here lmao
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I honestly have no fucking clue what's going on with this situation anymore because it seems to get more complicated by the day LOL I don't read The Guy Upstairs so I have zero stake in it but let's just say this - I've been on Webtoons since 2016 and am more than aware of how the WT fandom tends to behave on a regular basis, and that's just an audience that I personally don't want, regardless of how positive or negative other people's experiences are. There are people in the WT fandom who are sane and normal, yes, but I'd like to think those people are also fully capable of finding comics outside of WT if they so choose. The general demographic of WT who don't travel outside of it as I've experienced it over the years is just not one I want to tailor to so I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if Hanza was experiencing this and just wanting it to stop. Someone mentioned to me the other day that Webtoons is like the webcomic version of BookTok and ngl I couldn't agree more 💀😆
But yeah, that's about all of my knowledge on the Hanza situation lol
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ohmyeyesmyeyes · 2 years
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social media shy
f!potterer!reader x quinn hughes
warnings: swearing
(sidenote: qhuggyhes is quinn's private account - only mentioned once)
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liked by analuisacorrigan and 25,145 others
ynofficial: holy mac'n' cheeseballs i'm gonna be in vogue
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fan1: *takes deep breath* I'M SO PROUD OF YOU
fan2: no more gatekeeping, only girlbossing
fan3: we must gatekeep her from the stinky men though
fan4: you're so beautiful
fan5: i actually can't wait
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liked by jackhughes and 34,136 others
ynofficial: can someone get me a cat? i'm in desperate need of a housemate that purrs when cuddled. a cat would also keep me company in this big apartment
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fan6: my grandma's cat just had kittens and she's in vancouver if you're interested?
ynofficial: ooh yes please!
fan7: what's wrong with your current housemate?
ynofficial: he smiles and falls asleep on me and leaves vancouver for work often :/
fan8: what's wrong with a smile?
ynofficial: it makes me like him even more that's what's wrong
liked by _quinnhughes
qhuggyhes: please don't play the guilt card i WILL fold
liked by ynofficial
fan9: repping lana as we should
ynofficial: the one and only
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liked by drewstarkey and 33,197 others
ynofficial: meet harley!! she's so adorable i just want to cry...also she's an incredibly annoying bedmate at times (but she's cute so i'll let her off)
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fan10: you're a crazy cat lady now, welcome to the club
ynofficial: i'm honoured
fan11: i'm assuming harley is the cat?
ynofficial: your assumption would be correct yes
trevorzegras: and harley is YOUR cat?
ynofficial: stfu yes
jackhughes: i see what you did there. clever.
ynofficial: idk what you're talking about
fan12: why the sudden influx of nhl players?
fan13: i don't even know who any of them are
ynofficial: neither do i
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liked by lhughes_06 and 42,192 others
ynofficial: i want you to know i take being a cat mother very seriously and that i'm going to start referring to home as HQ for personal reasons
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lhughes_06: HQ being harley and...
ynofficial: you used to my favourite
lhughes_06: what am i now?
ynofficial: on thin ice
fan14: pretty sure luke hughes has a brother called quinn
fan15: yeah he does
fan16: quinn is in the second photo and i think the last?
fan17: wait does hq = harley/quinn????
_quinnhughes has added to their story
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liked by analuisacorrigan, zoeydeutch and 53,971 others
ynofficial: new 'dainty florals' set on the market!
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fan18: are you on the market too?
fan19: LMAO no
fan20: i'm analysing her hands now
fan21: POV you're here bc of that twitter thread
fan22: me
fan23: the moon mug is giving fairy garden and i love it
liked by ynofficial
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liked by lhughes_06, bradytkachuk and 78,182 others
_quinnhughes: been busy lately
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fan24: babe we all know *wink wink*
fan25: that's definitely y/n
fan26: quinn rn: sorry i haven't been posting i've been having a lot of sex
fan28: everyone knows
jackhughes: and i'm still patiently waiting
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liked by _quinnhughes, _eliaspettersson and 61,513 others
ynofficial: congrats on your-
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fan29: -record breaking of 263 games to assist 200 times?
liked by ynofficial
jackhughes: 🐔
ynofficial: bet
fan30: even the fucking cake is canucks themed
lhughes_06: if you don't i will
ynofficial: it's cute you think i'll let myself be blackmailed
fan31: it's impossible for it not to be quinn at this point
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liked by ynofficial, trevorzegras and 71,480 others
_quinnhughes: i was told to say 'alexa play cornelia street' as a caption
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bradytkachuk: you're so whipped
liked by _quinnhughes
fan32: this is literally the same place y/n posted in her last post
jackhughes: TAG HER
fan33: jack losing his patience is all of us rn
_quinnhughes went live 3 minutes ago!
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liked by ynofficial, _quinnhughes and 89,134 others
jackhughes: because these two IDIOTS are refusing to actually do anything about it, i'm taking the matter into my own hands for my and your mental health. this is ynofficial and _quinnhughes and they are 100% dating and 1000% in love to the point where it actually melts me. thank you and good night
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lhughes_06: i didn't think you'd ACTUALLY do it
jackhughes: do not underestimate me
_quinnhughes: and then you wonder why luke is y/n's favourite
fan34: WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!!
liked by jackhughes
ynofficial: i hate you
jackhughes: you wish you did 😘😘 
fan35: i love how y/n and quinn are so private that the only way their relationship would ever get exposed is if someone did it for them
fan36: fr they fit each other so well
fan37: THEY! ARE! PARENTS!
fan38: omg y/n has a harley and a quinn in her life
fan39: HQ makes sense now
788 notes · View notes
blubushie · 8 days
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/blubushie/761610902932979712/idk-if-this-is-just-my-experience-but-i-noticed?source=share
my two cents on the "problematic" content thing is that tf2 is one of those media where you can lean into both feel good shit and darker topics simultaneously.
a recipe for a good tf2 fic is over the top gore and ridoculously stupid humourous scenes.
but also, If you're upset about people posting blood and a lil' guts, you picked the wrong fandom. that said, writers should of course use their best judgement and tag things appropriately. yk if someone comes in complaining about blood, there's a notice that says "you might see some shit"
and I don't play anti/pro ship games because the definitions of such things are fucking convoluted and meant to incite riots at this point, I do believe... I guess it sounds ridiculous to say it but I have seen people complain about "the mercenaries would never..." in the past. and it's always left me scratching my head.
and like this is tf2 we are talking about, people are going to die, horribly, which includes our main protagonists. there will be violence, fire, and swearing.
but also, If you're upset about people posting blood and a lil' guts, you picked the wrong fandom.
There's a reason I don't tag for blood on this blog and that's why lmao. I'll tag for gore gore (it's #haemocyanin btw—think viscera and guts and body horror) but I won't tag for blood.
I have seen people complain about "the mercenaries would never..." in the past. and it's always left me scratching my head.
This as well. IIRC at one point someone (either Hale, the Admin, or Miss Pauling, can't recall who) outright states that a few of the mercs are sex offenders. And this can be anything from "got slapped with an indecent exposure charge for pissing in public on a wall while drunk and had to register" to "outright assaulted someone" and we don't know what it is or who it is. And I'd personally rather my mercs not be violent sex offenders, but we also don't know, and I'm not gonna shit on someone or harrass them for exploring that bit of lore and what the circumstances might've been behind it.
It's very ironic to me that the "oh we're all freaks" website draws their line at, like... petplay or something and you can't go any freak beyond that. Now, it can certainly be argued that certain acts aren't in character for certain characters, but people as a whole are also highly nuanced. Someone can frequent a prostitue and then go home to their happy wife and happy little family. An alcoholic sociopath with anger issues can hold down a stable job and be a good friend and a good person—is that also out of character? People are confusing, extremely self-contradicting creatures, and it's fun to get into their heads. We've all got skeletons in our closet. We've all got something problematic about us, or our pasts. No one's hands are really clean—there's always dirt somewhere, it's just a matter of finding it. Stones in glass houses. I think harrassing someone for the fiction they create is bullshit, personally, even if I do find it morally reprehensible and disgusting in my own eyes. Depiction doesn't equal endorsement.
And people are allowed to not want to interact with people who depict or engage with certain things! God knows I have a few of my own that I wouldn't want to interact with. I just don't reckon nobody should be harrassed for it. I don't reckon real people should be harmed over fiction. I can recall a few groups to recent memory who ordered certain works destroyed, who demanded certain things not be talked about or written about or art done of them, and none of them were the good guys.
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sugarcanehoes · 4 months
Text
i'm watching scar's pov of the mcc he played last year with tubbo antfrost and bekyamon and i'm gonna use this to note down Things That Made Me Feel Something (mostly fawning over scar and Tubscar Propaganda TM)
warning for a Very Long Post ahead bc i got carried away lmao
scar drinking water with a spoon
the whole "leaning over helps you swallow" bit
BOTH TUBBO AND SCAR LOOKING UP SLUSHIE MACHINES TO BUY FOR THE MCC????? they are so gay omg
scar: no chat don't start with the 'sand daddy' / tubbo: sand daddy? i beg your pardon?
tubbo: can we- are we gonna talk about the social implications of the term Sand Daddy? / scar: you gotta live a little, tubbo
scar asking if tubbo has slept <3
everyone using 'they' pronouns for everybody else just. idk it makes me happy
parkour tag screams primal hunt play to me. i think there's something here.
tubbo praising scar for surviving the whole round ghh
also tubbo saying he always feels the need to pee when he's nervous??? There's Something Here.
tubbo yelling out an OH FUCK and then apologizing profusely and scar saying 'no no you're good no apologies allowed' HJSDJGHK pure gold. i love Them
tubbo's psychic services <3
SCAR BEING ALL CUTESY WHEN HE SAW HIS CUBITO HAD JELLIE NEXT TO IT SDHJADGK i love him sm :(((
scar: Expert Sand Daddy Here
scar: we made some mistakes / tubbo: it's alright scar (3x) you're a king (multiple times)
i don't understand a single thing they are saying about the games 🧍 ant talks sO FAST omg
scar: i got a kill!! ....myself...
tubbo: i'm saying that soMEONE WAS ACTUALLY FUCKING WITH ME oh sorry scar sorry sorry sorry
the whole slushy bit is too cute i am crying i love Them
OHHH SCAR'S ADVICE ABOUT WIGGLING THE TOES TO RELEASE STRESS!!!! omg it was over a year ago and tubbo still remembers it... gay
scar: the dyslexic duo (referring to him and tubbo)
scar not remembering one map of tgttos from tubbo's video... "what was i doing? i didn't see it".... oh mr goodtimes i know what you were doing and i know what you are.
everyone rooting for false at the end was so sweet aaa
not tubscar saying bye to beky and ant and IMMEDIATELY planning a date to smash their go xlr's in the forest together (which honestly just sounds like an euphemism)
whenever tubbo says something like "what about [xyz] scar? tell me about it" it's so sdfgfhshjk he's always so interested in what scar has to say
tubbo saying he's going back to the mcc lobby to say hi to scar... clingy
tubbo: scar has the BEST metagame strats
scar explaining the mattress store bit to tubbo is just hjshgjkgs and tubbo being like "you can say bull fighters i think it's easier to pronounce it"
scar being utterly amazed at tubbo's stream stamina
scar venting to tubbo is just. this shouldn't make me feel anything but i. i am thinking. and Thinking.
scar: oh i'm about to get nerdy / tubbo: [giggles]
scar telling tubbo all the Hermitcraft Shenanigans and tubbo being like wait what?. yeah tubbo me too
TUBBO IN HERMITCRAFT I AM CRYING that would be the bestest day of my life why didn't it happen I'M GONNA SCREAMmmMMM scar quit being an old man and remember your promises man. whitelist Tubbo_ NOW.
scar: tubbo is the nicest guy in the world, i always love hanging out with him <3
i have no fucking clue what scar is talking about (star wars) but i could listen to him talking 24/7. my man should have a podcast or an asmr channel or smth because his voice is just so. So. i love you mr goodtimes
scar: i'm such a nerd
scar is a disney adult but like. underground syndrome disney adult. i don't know if this is funny or terrible
scar ended the stream and raided tubbo!! they are too sweet i'm gonna cry <3
well that was 4 hours well spent! i'll be thinking about All Of This now.
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alsoanyways · 5 months
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@transgender-scout @1ight wait fuck now i have to compile them okay okay okay i have a feeling this is gonna get long so I'm gonna put it under a cut haha but for real thank you for asking!!
First things first! This is how I imagine the flock is able to disguise themselves. There's no going undercover at an actual school for them, but I don't think anyone's looking twice at a bulky coat, especially if it's set in the future. Not too far in the future though, still in the 21st century. I have no ideas for a plot restructuring or anything, I never read past Nevermore and I barely remember anything past the fourth book, so most of my headcanons are character dynamics and such. I do have some that aren't focused on the flock but not many. Anyways.
(also idk if most of this can even be considered headcanon bc its basically fanfic at this point)
A couple things I should've added to the design post are Toto's Total’s nonexistence (I'm sorry if you like him but I do not lmao) and the fact that their hair is feathers. Like those very fine and very long feathers that roosters get. The flock also doesn't develop superpowers.
In my version of things, there's a small town close-ish to the E shaped house. Far enough that no one in town is gonna drop by for a visit, but close enough to fly down to for some groceries, which they'd do after Jeb left and until the money was gone. I think he would've taught them how to forage for things and that's how they get by since then.
Max (21) isn't The Leader TM either, I think leadership is shared more with Fang/Friday and Iggy. She likes volleyball and usually the one to go foraging. She's never thought about it but if she did, she'd probably consider herself agender.
Fang/Friday (22) gets his name from a Friday the 13th DVD cover, Jeb thinks he wants to be called Jason when he first points to it. He used to help Nudge/Dora and Angel with their hair when they were little and still does occasionally. He likes to draw and he's the go-to when someone needs to be comforted. There's no way in hell I would let him be anything less than bisexual.
Iggy (20) is the one that probably hears Friday's voice the most. He was also taught braille and Jeb got them a labeling machine. He's still the best cook and he's very protective over the vinyls/tapes/cds in the house. He mourns the loss of them when they have to flee the house, but he is excited to finally have access to new music. He's also gay. Because I said so.
Nudge/Dora (17) still wishes she could live a normal life, but has accepted that it's just not a possibility. She clings to "Dorothy" when she learns it. Being talkative and into fashion are still part of her character, but now she also loves bugs. She tags along when Max goes foraging so she can try and get pictures of any new bugs she hasn't seen before. Friday often gets to hear which bugs and what they were doing when they're sketching together.
Gazzy/Gizmo (14) gets his name when he watches the Gremlins movie for two months straight and starts mimicking the mogwai noises. He almost kills everyone when he mixes a couple cleaners from under the kitchen sink. He's quickly enamored with the chemistry books he's given afterwards. Like any other teenage boy, he likes video games and has too much energy for his own good. Max offers to race him when he's particularly amped.
Angel (11) is the only one out of the group that wasn't experimented on and she doesn't get the protectiveness or why they never go anywhere. She likes sitcoms and never refuses an offer to forage with Max. She also took a liking to helping Iggy cook things. She was very quick to tell people she wasn't a boy once she had the vocabulary.
Ari (15) has chronic pain. Being turned to goo and rebuilt into something different will do that to you. It doesn't get better the second time. Nor the third. He used to live in the E shaped house, before Jeb brought Gizmo, back when he was a regular kid. He's always liked animals, caring for them. He wanted to be a farmer or something when he grew up. After he joins the flock, he and Gizmo are fast friends. (Watching him and Gizmo dick around is what makes Friday realize that he really is just a kid.)
Maya/Em (21, kinda) my identity issues queen!! Cloning keeps the original memories intact and then they were further messed with to ensure her allegiance. She has a hard time coming to terms with that, with not being Max, not being who she thought she was. Her friends aren't her friends, she didn't watch Gizmo and Angel grow up, she didn't go to Friday after another nightmare, or call Dora to come catch a spider. That wasn't her. Having time away from them before she joins the flock helps. She renames herself Em during that time, distinct enough from Max but not removed from it completely. She learns that she likes cooking and she discovers cheerleading. She thinks she'd like that if she got the chance to participate. She's also aroace. She wants nothing to do with any of that.
Dylan (21) sticks closest to Em, but he eventually grows close to Iggy as well. They share a soaring/gliding wing shape and Iggy is grateful to have someone who can fly as long as he can (recreational flying is always cut short in his opinion, because the others have to work harder to stay airborne and get tired). Dylan likes to tinker around with motors and mechanisms, trying to get them to work again or building them from the ground up. Not that he has an abundance of opportunities to do that, but being able to fix a busted car comes in handy. He's one of them gays that can drive.
Lastly, I do have ideas on Erasers and different classes of them and their usages but jesus christ this did in fact get very long and I need to go eat something lmao so that'll have to be a separate post for another time.
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ava-du-mortain · 26 days
Text
sad rambling vent post about my relationship with the wayhaven fandom.
i think a lot abt how fandom ruined my relationship with wayhaven bc it's my comfort media but i feel so paranoid interacting with literally every single person in the fandom because of the shit i dealt with and i know i have talked about this before and you're probably like "damn bitch go to therapy or shut up"
but idk sometimes i remember that and i get sad because no matter what relationships I've made in fandom or the people i think are cool or whose writing and art i love, there will always be that voice in my head telling me "there's a discord server where people talk shit about you"
(and i need to stress that's not pure paranoia and early in my fandom days there WAS a discord server where people regularly talked shit about me and accused me of shit i didn't do or say. and some of those ppl are STILL in fandom and still mutuals in law with me)
that isn't to like shame people who may be friends with them esp cuz like im not gonna openly call anyone out over some he said she said they said nonsense but like 🤷 idk i wish that the people who treated me like a fandom pariah didn't succeed in doing so? i wish my friends who had been in that server at the time stuck up for me when it did happen?
because i have an ex friend who would be in my dms telling me how these people are talking shit about me and making false accusations so they can justify hating me but he would still be a part of that server and friends with those people so as not to rock the boat
and idk how am i supposed to feel about that? and like because of shit like this i can't fully trust that anyone in the wayhaven fandom isn't in a group chat where maybe occasionally if i say some shit in the tags maybe someone will bring it up in the server and go "lmao remember that bitch pap we used to talk shit about 3 years ago" and rehash all the shit they used to say to even new people in the fandom
because there are people who preemptively block me when joining the wayhaven fandom and idk how to deal with that when literally the only controversial thing I've ever done is stick to my guns about how i feel about racism and r/adfems in fandom. like that's the kind of shit i got called retarded for and sent anon hate consistently through end of 2020 beginning of 2021? i got accused of harassing a person I'd literally never met for making 1 incredibly general text post about racism in fandom with no identifying information (because i wasn't talking about anyone specific) and people still have me blocked over that shit. I had someone who i thought was a friend vague post about me (a trigger of my paranoia) the same day I posted about how I was having suicidal ideation around my paranoia due to people vague posting about me constantly—literally only over me not using his art in a fandom event, like he got paid + a tip for a commission and in the end we didn't feel it was a fit and respectfully told him so (but he still got that bag??) and he decided suicide baiting was the answer.
girl i don't even fucking know what to do
how do i even begin to repair my relationship with this fucking hostile fandom without grovelling at the feet of shitty white fandom moms who decided im hostile and bringing drama to fandom?
idk im tired and im not sure if this makes sense but I'm hitting post anyway
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followerofmercy · 2 months
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Fanfic 20 questions! I was gonna say 'fuck it I love talking about myself even if nobody tagged me' and then realized @hua-fei-hua already did like. Two weeks ago. Whoops aldsjf I don't check my mentions. ANYWAY THANKS HOMIE
1. How many fics do you have on AO3?
Currently 119. Should be 120 in a week or two
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
361,556 published. We can add another 60k that is written but unpublished for Monoceros Novae, 9k miscellaneous Hearthling notes, 24k unpublished honkai notes and another 50k in my general notes document.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Actively rn, only Genshin and Honkai. I'll write for other stuff when I feel like it.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Missing Person - Hollow Knight, genfic, little ghost and Quirrel - 1500 kudos (this is why small fandoms are the best alsdfj)
I Need to Leave Him Before He Leaves Me - Genshin, Alhaitham/Kaveh - 987 kudos (helped a lot of people think about their autism with this one lmao)
Homeward Bound - Hollow Knight, genfic, little ghost and Quirrel - 757 kudos (Idk why this one blew up. Wasn't that great but I appreciate the attention. Probably people sorting by kudos)
How 4.1 Should've Gone - Genshin, Aether/Lyney kicking Wriothesley's ass - 656 kudos (First and only time rewriting canon. Surprised at how well received it was)
Abusing the World Tree - Genshin, Lumine/Scaramouche - 643 kudos (Yk I used to really hate this fic and I still do, but not as much as I used to. I still think the entire premise is Horror instead of cute, but I think I did good with the prompt. )
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Always. I literally only write fanfic in order to connect with people alsdfj why the fuck wouldn't I take an opportunity to yap. I judge my success as a writer by how I make my readers feel/helping them realize something about themselves/etc and the communication is really fulfilling
I mean sometimes I don't reply if it's literally just like, a heart emoji, which I still appreciate but I don't have a lot to go off of there
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
probably the one where Steven Universe walks off a cliff on accident while he's sad and can't control his fall speed anymore and dies. I was much younger when I wrote it asldfkj.
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
That I'm proud of? No clue. Probably another Steven Universe one where Steven and Connie went to prom.
I will say that A Bard Walks in and Hugs the Bartender is my favorite 'happy' ending fic because of a comment I got on it. It's a story about forgetting details about deceased loved ones and the guilt that comes with that and then comfort that that's a natural part of the process, and someone let me know that they felt so seen. They said the forgetting is a part of grieving that doesn't get addressed enough and it was so nice to see it in writing and I'm like. Pack it up boys we've officially won writing! My writing has fundamentally changed a real life person. I have achieved what I consider success.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Very rarely and usually unintentionally. Had a dude call Arlecchino a 'psychotic bitch' in a comment where they were genuinely trying to praise my writing, but on a fic intended to show her doing her best and I'm like. I don't really have the energy to debate why that was rude and I'm blocking you. Bro if you see this tumblr post and you didn't intend to, like, shit on the entire premise and everything I love about that character, hmu in DMs and we can talk asldfkj. Otherwise please find other authors to read
Otherwise I think I'm secure enough in my interests and unabashedly unashamed of anything Problematique I write that bullies decide to choose better targets?
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes and I've given up writing normal sex. I'm not good at it. I have a weird kind of medical kink where I think the word penis is sexier than cock and, yk, most people would disagree. I'm both better at writing gore and horror that achieves the same kind of intimacy with a slight sexual bend, and I get more fulfillment out of it. Anatomy of a Blade remains one of my proudest works.
Also I prefer writing it as a character study. I love finding jackoff material but I can't write it for shit. Pour one out for the authors doing what I can't asldkjf
10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?
Nah. The setting is usually so important to my interpretation of a character that I just Can't put them somewhere else. Same with AUs. I'd rather write an original story at that point. I will fantasize about it occasionally tho.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yesn't? I've had a few lines ripped, especially for rarepairs, but I had such an unfortunate thing happen recently asdlkjf. This new author so excitedly asked me if they could use one of my fics for inspiration and I'm like "omg of course!!! I'm so flattered!" because I was! and then when they finished writing it and told me about it I was so excited to read it!!!
and then I did
I'm sitting here like "...Who's gonna tell them that this is actually plagiarism without embarrassing them and completely crushing their motivation to write ever again" asldfkjasdf;l
like OBVIOUSLY they were not trying to steal, because why the fuck would they announce it to me. But also I don't want them to be served a cease and desist later down the line so we had to have a little talk and it's all good now. I'm really excited to see what they write next!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Supposedly! I've had several people ask me if they could and then just. Never followed up aldk;fskj. It's a shame because I'm absolutely fascinated by linguistics and would love to pick their brains about what translation choices they made and why.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Sorta? Ray did one chapter as an epilogue to one of mine, and I think I've worked with Sen a few times on shorter pieces. Otherwise I'm a bit of a selfish writer and a control freak adsljf
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Constantly changing. I'm currently on a Bootheng and Zhongxiao kick, tho once I watch more of Madoka Magica I'm probably gonna lose my mind over Homura/Madoka. Also Adora/Catra as I watch more Shera.
15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Literally too many to list. See question 1 and the 50k words worth of notes
I have so many ideas that I really need to pick and choose what I work on because there literally just isn't enough time in the world - unless I start doing cocaine or something, but even then I think I'd still have the same problem. Join my discord server if you're an adult and wanna hear me whine about it asdlfkj
16. What are your writing strengths?
Fitting body language and other scene description with dialogue. I don't see images in my head and I think in motion a lot, so I think I do a really good job of keeping a scene rolling while people are talking without having to bring everything to a screeching halt to describe, idk, the color of the carpet on the stairs.
Also emotional damage
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Probably longer works? I lose drive to work on anything over 6k words pretty easily and I also struggle with pacing. I'm insisting on finishing Monoceros Novae so it can be my first novel because everyone's first novel sucks ass. I'm getting it out of the way so my original works will hopefully go better asldkfj
Oh. Also what people look like. Fuck you you get a pronoun and maybe a hair color. If Martha Wells can do it with Murderbot, so can I lmao.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Just for the love of God don't put it in italics unless you're making a point that the person using the other language doesn't use it naturally. I'd like to highlight the poem Kupu Rere Ke by Alice Te Punga Somerville for my feelings on it alsdkjf.
Also gonna copy stardustdiving's answer and say that it's great for multilingual characters and places it makes sense, but I personally think it's a little annoying when it's just a shippy pet name to be cute without, like, some kind of basis for it. Notably Childe calling Zhongli Xiansheng. It's fine if he would say that BUT HE WOULDN'T. He'd call him Mr., Sir or Motherfucker Ratbastard Whyaren'tyoudeadyet
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Undertale! Surprised at how well a lot of the fics have held up over the years.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
Changes a lot as I develop as a writer. I'm really proud of Frustrations of the Hunt and this is the vibe I want my original writing to have.
I'm also really proud of my one and only FMAB fic about Alphonse getting pants. It's more serious than it sounds.
I actually have a collection of my works that I'm really proud of too!
Let's tag @resplendent-chungus. Do it bitch /affectionate
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