#not gonna make too many changes at once.
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new url ... new promo and pinned post done ... now i can write!!! like this post for me to pop into your memes tag & i'll send some over.
#║▌ in my defense i was probably stoned. // ooc.#i also might redo my tags to reflect the new OS vibe...#we'll see.#not gonna make too many changes at once.
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mtt therapy moment except dust keeps taking breaks to talk to phantom papyrus and horror just wants this to hurry up so it can get to his turn because he couldn't give two shits about dust and killer's trauma and killer physically cannot discuss his issues and just starts zoning out while crying for some reason during it
and i'm the therapist listening to all of this writing down notes fervently because ITS CANON MATERIAL CANON I NEED TO GET THE CANON MATERIAL
#i have to break apart like 34 potential fights with my otherdimensional godly creator powers#i would be an ass therapist i will not lie. infact i would make them worse with my knowledge of their lives. never put me in a room w them#OH MY GOD I JUST REVISTED THIS IDEA AFTER LEAVING IT TO COLLECT DUST (hehehe) IN MY DRAFYS FOR A MONTH#ANS TJIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY HELP 😭😭😭😭😭 HELP😭😭😭😭😭😭#still real tho highkey i havent changed 1 bit. ITS CANON OMG WRITE THSY DOWN WHAY WERE THE EXACT REACTIONS#ive got these guys wearing microphones i got cameras in the room i got advanced psychologists watching to explain every detail#is it a therapy session or just a badly disguised interview#nooo nooo its therapy......DONT LEAVS!!!! (activates the chains (that coincidentally all are connected to eachother) (heheheheh))#now youCANT leave😈😈😈😈😈 not until im done asking my questions ASSHOLES. dont question the handcuffs that keep you guys together please#actually id probably get like nothing out of them because theyre all repressed and defensive and whatever. BUT im simply more determined so#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#fandom event if the mtt ever became real. we're all lining up to the facility to ask one question#world's hardest challenge: if you could ask the murder time trio one thing what would it be#FUCK idk...... id simply hav too many questions!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!#triglycercule do your homework SHUT UO RESPONSIBLE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!!! I WONT!!!!! NOT UNTIL THIS IS DONE#fall headcanons for the trio when. i'll think of them once i'm done with homework#see a reward system! now i have a thought that i dont wanna say in tags this will be going to the side blog#anyways! i think that's enough drafts undrafted and posted i REALLY need to do my homework#i dont even have that much it's literally 2 assignments but i know damn well doing 1 of them is gonna bring me to dream and nightmare's age#sigh......... i hate school bring me back to summer break i wasSO productive. SMH
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I combined footage from my Detektiv Conan Blu-ray with audio from my Case Closed FUNimation DVD and made an HD English dub clip compilation for Episodes 57-58, "The Holmes Freak Murder Case."
#detective conan#case closed#video#funimation english dub script#i wasn't actually gonna post this video to tumblr because it's so long (because i have a lot of feelings about this case!)#but folks on discord liked it and i'm all about my funi dub propaganda so why not right?#the dub script here is just so fun--and does so well at making the dialogue *work* and sound natural in english#and has so much flavor! it does arguably too much in terms of creative liberties but things like#'can i really trust what a kid saw?' of the sub translation compared to 'and what were you smoking before you ran out there?' in the dub#are much more enjoyable to me#(other fun phrasings: 'the one who's always hangin' around you guys' (sub) vs. 'the little-bitty one with the great big brain!' (dub))#(and 'of course not! the reason i applied for this tour was 'cuz i thought i might find kudo' (sub))#(vs. 'who me? no no no. actually i signed up because i was hoping to run into jimmy here. but i guess i'm out of luck' (dub))#(and so many more! this script just has so much character)#and while it is a shame that the dub eliminated heiji's accent i do like the changed line ('i know it's you!')#'cause you've met shinichi *once* heiji lol#but yeah this is a fun case! i'm really happy to have finally hd'd the funi dub for it :')#one of my favorite things about the funi dub is that jerry jewell (shinichi's va) voices conan's thoughts#and it's so nice to hear *shinichi* and heiji deducting together (and the way they finish each other's thoughts and vibe... it gets to me)
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dumping AM thoughts in tags
#im gonna be a hater tonight sorry#so many AM designs dont. Represent AM like they should. Itll just be a robot with a tv head or something resembling a human#but like. AM would NOT resemble a human in the slightest. please tell me you read the book#AM would be an uncomfortable and incomprehensible mess of wires and screens. it doesnt move it Crawls and it's metal scrapes on the floor.#whatever could possibly resemble limbs would be too long or abnormally shaped. a mess of wires and scrap metal and circuitry#there is no need for teeth or a jaw. speakers work just fine. no need for noses. robots dont need to smell#there is no need for ears. AM already has enough sensors spanning the world that pick up way too much sound at any given time.#and theres no need for eyes. asides from making the last living subjects uncomfortable. sensors once again work fine#AM is a horrible and messy amalgamation of parts. ever changing and shifiting as mass falls off and is rebuilt.#wires and cables and scrap and pieces scavenged from what little remains of the world. an ouroboros of metal#there is no need for anything remotely human in AM's design. especially when AM literally hates humans.#why would AM go out of it's way to *be* human.#“oh but AM was jealous of humans for their senses” YES but jealousy of SENSES does not equal jealousy of FORM#you ever see those poor cable management pictures that just looks like a conglomerate of wires and switches? THAT is AM .#that is not a human. that is not an animal. that is a machine and it hates.#ihnmaims
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Prologue brain rot, but! I either have a prediction or a new AU 🤡
(Ref this other thing i drew)
#its the new AU option#in this fandom less than 3 months and im already makin shit up ✌😎#vinland saga#vinland saga manga spoilers#(sorta)#1 way or another i dont think karlis gonna make it off this continent#once i have a better understanding of hilds crossbow tho i wanna draw it more like its been broken and fixed several times#rn it looks to new#karlis smart but he never had the experience or resources to build 1 from scratch#but i think he maintain an existing 1#plus like. IM not gonna do it but could totally do some ship of theseus thing w it#where it eventually breaks cause youve made too many changes and concessions#yknow since baby karli also likes philosophizing#...also. i just think ga'aoqi is neat :U
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okayokay here are my Thoughts that no one asked for aljgdh
i LOVE bloom's boots and her wings!! the hair will definitely grow on me. i don't like her outfit though. i do see what they're going for! it's very reminiscent of her og magic winx and one of the earlier promo designs we saw but to me, this doesn't feel very,,, bloom. it's so sharp, there are so many angles and layers (which feels like the Theme rn for most of them). IF they're going for more of a dragon warrior vibe for her then i can def see it, but the stiff fabric just isn't doing it for me. i do like the shoulder guard look though! idk there are aspects i like and i can see the vision, but i'm hoping the final design is a bit more refined and feels more like Bloom
like i said before, aisha's design feels very one-note compared to the other girls and i think it's because she's basically wearing one color. i love that they put her in blue!! but i hope they introduce a secondary color like her og green or yellow/purple to help balance her out. as for the actual outfit, love the boots! it feels more believix to me but i concede that this transformation is meant to feel more modern so i'll deal. the actual outfit,,, not the Best. the cuts are interesting, there's a lot of symmetry which is weird to see on aisha since most of her transformations before were very asymmetrical. i'd love to see more flowy fabric with her! the little hip things just aren't doing it for me. i like her wings! but they do look a little too similar to bloom's for them to really stand out. i love the gold on them though!! AND HER HAIR >>>>> best part!!
LOVE musa's hair!! it's so cute i'm crying :') i feel like the hair is definitely a strong point of these designs!! i think the wings will grow on me once i see them in action. right now they feel a little awkward but i see the vision. i think so far musa's whole design is looking really good. Very similar to her og winx with just enough of a new change to not feel exactly the same. and her boots!!! LOVE seeing that more edgy side of musa reflected in her clothing! idk i think this is one of the stronger designs good for her!!
we didn't get to see the bottom half of stella's look so i'm not sure what that's going to be like! i love the sun ray collar but i will say it def feels more Fairy Warrior so,, i like it but i would want to see that reflected in the actual fighting and plot too. if it's not then it's not the Best design choice imo. her wings,,, like musa, i think they'll grow on me once i see them in action. it's lovely to see blue on her! not sure how i feel about the hair but since stella's ponytail is in her casual look instead, i understand why they didn't put it here too. i'm looking forward to seeing more of this design!
we also didn't get to see the lower half of tec's design so,, idk but i think it'll end up being pants going by the look of her boots? i don't Love the boots, but again, i see the vision and i do think it'll look better animated. her wings,, i like them but i would've liked to see a more interesting overall shape! the design on the inside is great, but tecna's wings were always sooo interesting and didn't feel like generic fairy wing shape. idk,,, we will see.... LOVE the hair, love the glowiness. it's like a solid 6/10 for me. i think there are certain things they could still play around with to enhance the design but it's going in the right direction
okay,, first, LOVE the braid!! she's finally beating the "never changes her hair" allegations good for her. and the little flowers in her hair are MWAH the wings are cute! they look good with the design. love the petals on the top! it def blends more and isn't as overwhelming as the previous design. the flower arm bands are also a classic. the skirt is really where it loses me. i like it In Theory - i understand the goal. it's very flowery, very much like petals, it reminds me a lot of a tulip. so i get it! However, the layers,,, idk man it just looks off to me
it Def looks better in action! it's not as stiff, the edges are going up, there's an overall more graceful, flowy vibe to it. but the layers,,,, i Get it but i don't love the execution. but to fair, i don't really know what would make it look better so maybe this is the best they could come up with
OVERALL, i do think it's going in the right direction in regard to pleasing old fans and appealing to newer, younger audiences! i do think a lot of the fabric looks really stiff rn But seeing flora's animated transformation is giving me hope that it will look better in the actual show. the 3D rendering just looks off when it's a standalone piece. so far, i think the best designs are musa's and flora's. they feel a lot more balanced, capture the winx vibe, And still feel true to the characters. imo the other designs are missing one or two of those elements.
bloom's design needs to feel more like bloom. aisha's needs more dimension. stella's is nice in theory but doesn't quite match her more carefree, fun-loving attitude and feels more like a Royal Warrior thing so it really depends on how she's being characterized i guess. tecna's is good but i want to see the whole thing lol also i think her wings should be more unique
Now. as for the casuals.
tecna looks great i think we can all agree on that!! very boss babe i love it!! aisha,,, i think her pants should be baggier. the tight fit and hip cuts just,,, i see the vision but i think they need to reel it in and make it more Aisha. stella's skin is way too light she looks sick. her outfit,,, Bad. her entire design just feels so pale and desaturated?? like just up the saturation on everything and it'll look ten times better even with the wacky outfit choice.
musa's is okay. i get the vibes - i understand the choices. but like aisha, i think her design could just use a little more thought. it's similar to her og outfit but kind of in the wrong way imo? like it has the same sort of look and cuts, but it's also tight and uncomfortable. musa's og look was very much about comfort over fashion so this feels a little,, hhhrrrrmmmm yknow? i do like the direction though! i think for me, it really is the top part. like why is she wearing a skin tight bodysuit. who told her that was comfortable for day to day wear. it's very much aesthetic over comfort which isn't Bad but it doesn't feel very s1 Musa yknow? she loved her baggy, comfy clothing for normal days
flora's is okay too. again, i like the direction. i don't love it as her Official One Casual Look for the season; i think i would've preferred it as a secondary look for one episode. but it's not the worst! it Is very flora so i concede lol
#long post#oh my#i think rn tecna and flora are tied for best overall looks for both#musa is a VERY close second/third. i just think her casual needs to be reassessed#the others just need to feel more like themselves for me to like it#clearly they are capable of that because Look at musa's and flora's transformations yknow?#i feel like theyre trying to keep stella being the fashionista but theyre also basing their knowledge on like#currently outdated tiktok trends#fashion trends are moving Really fast rn!! it's better to stick to a specific vibe for characters and not try to make it Too Modern#they will end up looking outdated lol#like the other girls kind of have those vibes but there's a lot more individual personality and hints of their og designs#that's Kind of there with stella like she has certainly worn dresses with that kind of fit before#but the entire thing as a whole just does Not feel stella#same with her transformation actually like i Get it but it's not Stella#at least not in s1 yknow? it feels a little too mature man we've been through a lot for a s1 transformation#same with bloom's! like it's Okay but it doesn't feel like a first transformation for a young fairy#and listen i dont hate the idea of their looks being more armor-like But that needs to be reflected in the fights and vibe of the show#AAGGGHHH idk maybe ill change my mind about bloom and stella's transformations once we see them animated#so many thoughts..#im gonna wait to speak on bloom's casual until we get a more clear shot of her!#But from what i could see it looks good lol very s1 bloom
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Hobie Brown variant OC:
I finally decided to make Symbiote!Hobie (nicknamed SH by Hobie, which over time turned into Sage) his own thing, cause I've made so many changes to him that I've decided he's just gonna be another version of Hobie from another dimension.
I basically came up with him when thinking about what it would take for Hobie to truly bond with a symbiote and this is what I came up with.
While he's technically Hobie too I'm gonna refer to him as Sage in this post to avoid confusion <3
Gonna start with his appearance and then move on to his origins and how he got involved with the Spider-Society:
Disclaimer: I cannot draw so I haven't even attempted at drawing his face cause I know I'd never be able to draw him in a way I'd like- So I did the next best thing:
(He has a normal face I just tried to find a way for me to draw him without drawing his face lol)
Pictured above is Sage and his symbiote K.A.T (and their symbiote form- yeah it's the same as Venom!Hobie cause I like the design lol)
He looks like Hobie but younger- he's around 11 when he's bitten by the spider and fused with K.A.T - he's around 12 when he gets introduced to the Spider-Society
He's got short hair as it was completely shaved off when he got caught by Oscorp - more about this under his origins - he wants to let it grow out after meeting Hobie and being inspired by his approach to his looks (he really looks up to Hobie but don't tell anyone I said that!)
His left iris is white as a result of the symbiote DNA being fused to him. He can make it match his right eye if he concentrates but only really bothers to do so if he feels it draws too much attention
After meeting Hobie he helps Sage get a few piercings of his own
He usually wears a hoodie and/or a mask to hide his face - he's super paranoid and does his best to hide himself from others
Never goes anywhere without his noice cancelling earmuffs - he's got enhanced senses due to his spider powers but they can be a bit of a nuisance since he's also sensitive to loud noises due to his symbiote...
He also usually wears sunglasses to shield himself from sensory overload as he was subjected to it a lot as part of the experiments he was put through at Oscorp - and thus getting his senses overstimulated can result in panic attacks, so he does what he can to avoid it + it hides his eyes as well
K.A.T (Killing Authority-opposing Targets) is Sage's symbiote
It usually stays hidden unless they're alone or around people they trust/already knows about its presence.
If it does show itself it'll usually stay on Sage's shoulder or sit in his lap, it's still tethered to him so it can't go that far without him - not that it really wants to anyways
The reason K.A.T takes this form is that Sage is a cat person and it used it as a method to make him like it more when they first "met" + petting it helped Sage calm down and still does
K.A.T is still made of the same goo as regular symbiotes so it does not feel like petting a cat at all- Sage doesn't mind but most other people get suprised when they first touch it
If it likes someone it'll rub itself against their legs and mimic purring noises - if it dislikes someone it'll hiss and arch its back at them
K.A.T is a more animalistic symbiote and mainly communicates with Sage by letting him feel its emotions instead of speaking to him
To avoid making the post even longer than it's already gonna be I'll link to this post where I go into more detail about the design of thier Symbiote form instead of describing it here too ^^'.
This was originally supposed to be a short summary but I've realised I'm incapable of making short posts when it comes to stuff like this:
Origin:
Sage is a younger version of Hobie Brown. (11 years old when bitten by the spider and fused with his symbiote)
Sage and K.A.T "met" at one of Oscorp's labs
He was living as a homeless kid (having escaped an abusive household a few months prior)
He was bitten by a radioactive spider while looking for a place to spend the night.
He got very sick from the bite and was easily captured by Oscorp goons looking for new test subjects in the streets
Despite his young age Sage is a more ruthless Hobie variant, in part due to his upbringing and due to his symbiote (and the trauma they both go through at the hands of Oscorp)
K.A.T was a new kind of experimental symbiote that was set to be terminated due to it killing all its previous hosts - Sage was their last attempt at fusing it with someone
They decide to fuse it with Sage as he was deemed indisposable due to him seeming more dead than alive - suffering from the venom of spider bite at the time - and thus it wouldn't be a problem if the symbiote killed him too
Since the spider bite was still changing his DNA as he got fused with K.A.T some of its DNA got fused with him as well as a "side effect" during the process
Due to this it's incredibly hard (if not impossible) to seperate the symbiote from Sage without severely hurting them both
His body develops organic web shooters when it fuses with K.A.T - the webs are black and can be shot from either of his 4 arms when in his symbiote form (they can also be shot regularly while in his human form)
Sage develops enhanced senses and a taste for human flesh after being fused with K.A.T - he also has enhanced senses from the spider bite - making it easy to overstimulate his senses and overwhelm him before he learns to get it more under control
Since Sage's gotten powers from both the spider bite and the symbiote they quickly become the subjects for many inhumane and painful experiments as the scientists futilely try to figure out how to replicate the symbiote (as they're unaware of the spider bite, thinking the symbiote alone is behind Sage's new powers)
The main scientist behind the experiments is this dimension's version of Peter Parker!
Sage eventually manages to escape the lab during one of their many tests- killing as many guards and scientists on his way out as possible - and eating some of them as well
As a result of their treatment at the lab + his past with his abusive foster family, both Sage and K.A.T have developed a deep distrust to other people - at this point they both consider the other their only friend
Sage goes back to living as a homeless kid, avoiding people as best as he can, but he's also got an insatiable taste for human flesh as well!
He will usually target anyone associated with Oscorp when he's hungry (if none are available cops are the next best thing- his dimension is just as corrupt as -138 Hobie's dimension)
He doesn't feel bad about killing but will still try not to harm civilians (emphasis on try- sometimes the hunger gets the best of him)
Due to his senses being extra sensitive + his paranoia from his experiences at the lab and his foster homes, he tries to avoid crowded and noisy places - This all leads to him being more active at night while he usually tries to lay low and hide during the day.
He lived like this for months until a certain event changed that:
First encounter with the Spider-Society
Sage's dimension is blacklisted meaning people from the Spider-Society aren't allowed to go there (cause a spider-person who's embracing their symbiote instead of resisting it is deemed unsafe by Miguel and thus best to be avoided)
Sage does still get introduced to the spider-society albeit through a rather unconventional way:
- One day a portal opens up and pulls Sage through it, sending him to another dimension as an anomaly
Having no idea about what's going on, and being scared and confused about the whole situation, he does his best to lay low and avoid other people.
Because of this he spends a lot of time in the other dimension before the society discovers signs of an anormaly - glitched objects like seen when Kingpen uses the collider in itsv, or the museum that the Vulture appears in in atsv
Sage eventually has his first run in with other spider people when his hunger gets the best of him and he becomes more careless as he turns into his symbiote form to go look for prey
Here he encounters Gwen and Peter B as they're looking for the anomaly causing things to glitch out in the dimension
Not knowing he's a spider person and an actual child, Peter and Gwen attack him as they always do with anomalies - it also doesn't help that Sage doesn't exactly look friendly when in his symbiote form.
He fights back cause these masked people attacked him for no reason so they must be bad guys and of course he's gonna defend himself - it also doesn't help that he's starving and thus not thinking clearly at this point.
Unfortunately for him, these guys have high frequency equipment to deal with symbiotes and thus they manage to subdue him, but not before he manages to fight back, revealing his organic webbing which tips Gwen and Peter off to him having spider powers as well
He's subdued and forced into an electric cage (which brings back a lot of unpleasant memories from his time at Oscorp) and sent to the Spider-Society afterwards
When he arrives at the Society he quickly gets overstimulated and has a panic attack and lashes out in a desperate attempt at escaping his electric cage - also seeing the face of the scientist who tortured him for months everywhere certainly didn't help
Gwen then uses a high-frequency device made to combat symbiotes to force him to revert back to his human form
She immediately recognises him as a young version of -138 Hobie
Her and Peter both panic cause 1. They realise they basically beat up a kid and locked him up. 2. That kid has a symbiote! 3. That kid is a younger version of another spider-person they both know (and who they both know has a very long and strained history with symbiotes!)
Miguel gets involved and a discussion begins about whether they should try and seperate Hobie (Sage) and his symbiote
- The other spiders mean well by this but Sage and K.A.T both panic at the thought of being separated - at this point they really view the other as their only friend as it's been them against the world ever since they fused
Sage, still panicking, tries to protest but they won't listen as they view him as a kid who doesn't know what's best for him
Sage is taken to the room with all the villains while they discuss what to do with him
Here Margo sees Sage and K.A.T comforting each other, K.A.T manifesting physically in Sage's lap, being hugged tightly by Sage as he promises it he'll never let anyone separate them
Seeing this, Margo takes pity on them and 'accidentally' sends them home before the other spiders get a chance to try and remove K.A.T from Sage.
Relationships with other spider-people
Some time later Sage has an encounter with Hobie who found out about the whole mess - despite Miguel ordering Gwen and Peter not to tell him
While Hobie isn't exactly a fan of symbiotes he first and foremost sees Sage as a traumatised homeless kid in need of safety and stability
Hobie offers Sage to stay at his boat whenever he wants (as long as he promises not to eat anyone while he's there), he also gives him one of his bootleg watches so he can come and go as he pleases (and explains that he can also use it to get home to his own dimension if he's ever unwillingly sent to another dimension again)
Sage declines at first but over time he slowly opens up to Hobie and begins to trust him
(He also secretly looks up to Hobie once he trusts him, cause who doesn't? He's an older version of himself who's got a place to call his home, one that he opens up to strangers in need such as himself, he uses his powers for good and not just to survive. He's not afraid to be who he is and draw attention to himself - something Sage has been too afraid to do ever since his time at Oscorp. He's got friends and people he trusts. - all things that Sage wants too but doesn't believe he'll ever have) Also he'll never admit that he looks up to Hobie but he can tell anyways
Hobie's the one that gives Sage his nickname, it started as SH but over time it turned into Sage instead, though he doen't mind being called Hobie as well, it's just easier to go by Sage when both he and Hobie are present.
He still doesn't trust people, especially not the Spider-Society after their first meeting, which made it very awkward when Gwen showed up to visit Hobie while Sage was there - luckily Hobie managed to interfere before they beat each other up too much...
(He trusts Margo a bit as well since she 'saved' him from the Spider-Society - also it's nice to be around someone who doesn't smell like food since she's an avatar and not made of flesh and blood)
He currently lives at Hobie's boat, switching between it and his own dimension as he pleases
Hobie did his best to hide it but he was rather freaked out by K.A.T's presence in the beginning, he did his best to supress it cause he genuinely wants to help Sage
Hobie mentors him in how to use his Spider Powers and tries to give him a moral compass to at least prevent him from eating civilians when he gets too hungry - He usually targets cops or people working for Oscorp but the hungrier he gets the less picky he is
Another reason Hobie took him in is because he knows ostracising someone won't make them a better person and while Hobie doesn't believe in deciding what's best for others he still knows life will be a bit easier for Sage if he doesn't just kill whoever he wants whenever he wants - impulse control is important when you have a cannibalistic symbiote in your body.
- Hobie still dislikes symbiotes but he respects Sage's choice to keep his and does his best to help him control some of the more violent urges that come with a symbiote.
Hobie introduces Sage to his punk ideologies and slowly introduces him to the punk community
Hobie also introduces him to some of his friends but it's a slow process due to Sage having a hard time trusting people - especially spider-people after his Spider-Society encounter
Some of the spider-people also have a hard time opening up to him because of his symbiote
But Hobie's good at making a safe space for Sage to feel like he can slowly start to open up to others
For the first time in years Sage feels like he has someone (besides K.A.T) he can trust and over time he starts to view Hobie as his older brother
And that's that folks! (at least for now)
To the one person who actually bothered to read all of this - know that I'm infinitely grateful that you took your time to read about my boy <3
- I initially tried to keep this short but I gave up cause Sage has been living rent free in my head for weeks and it feels so nice to finally flesh him out and write about him!
You know I couldn't resist making my first oc angsty - but at least he ends up doing better than where he started.
Hopefully you guys like him too! If you have any questions please let me know, I could talk about him forever <3
#help I think I have a condition where I need to make all my new posts longer than the previous one!#can't believe I initially tried to make this post short and then it ends up being 2759 words long...#wasn't sure about his name but I wanted it to be something else than Hobie#so Sage it is!#Also I really wanted the symbiote to be called cat or kat - due to the form of its physical manifestation#so I had to come up with an abbreviation to make it fit lol#also evey time I've tagged a post Symbiote!Hobie this is who I've been thinking of!#I just didn't have a name for him back then#just to reiterate - Symbiote!Hobie and Venom!Hobie are two different people#their symbiote form looks the same but that's it#Venom!Hobie is -138 hobie with a symbiote but everything else about him is still hobie#Symbiote!Hobie is Sage who's another version of hobie from his own dimension#hope there aren't too many spelling errors but it's 1 am here and I've read through it once already so sorry if I missed something!#gonna post this and then go to bed lol#I'm addicted to that angst but I tried to give him a somewhat happy “ending”#though there's still a lot of room for improvement lol#also this is my fist oc which is very exciting!!!#idk if you can call it an oc when he's based on an existing character#but I've made so many changes to him that I feel like I can allow myself to call him an oc <3#Symbiote!Hobie#Sage#hobie brown#spider punk#symbiote oc#symbiote hobie#gwen stacy#peter b parker#miguel o'hara#margo kess#across the spider verse
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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Would I be proving my therapist (who has been voicing some concerns about my depression maybe getting worse but like I feel like it's fine) right by cancelling my appointment tomorrow cause I just don't wanna. Like all I have to report is that I'm tired and I wanna rest and I just don't really feel like it y'know
#unrelated to the flu shot but i'm certain i'll feel it tomorrow#idk i've been in a weird state lately where i get really excited about my art and i get super talkative in general#i feel peppy and enthusiastic and excited and then i just crash. HARD.#it feels like all the years of being a shut-in finally catch up to me all at once and it's like apocalyptic hellfire all consuming agony#and nobody is ever gonna love me again bc i refuse to allow it and the lights are too bright in public spaces.#i feel like i'm not really a person outside of my interests and my artwork. i forget that i'm like. a being.#i think i'm also just annoyed bc i'm gonna be Doing Things. already so soon it's gonna be halloween#and i have plans w my sisters and their friends and later i'll be spending the night at my sister's#and i do want to do all that. but it pisses me off that i had waste time today and will have to tomorrow#when i could be drawing. i should have been drawing. i cannot emphasize enough actually#how artwork is just. the one and only thing that makes me feel connected to people.#that brings me joy and purpose like nothing else. so i just get extra upset if i'm gonna be doing too many things LMFAO#and as i say all this like damn milo some people have jobs. i used to. a lifetime ago.#but to be so real i've gotten so much worse. at. everything.#man sometimes i can't even tolerate being at one of my sisters' place bc she doesn't have lamps.#so i just have to chill in the dark in an adjacent room and it's like Fine.#but why can't everyone live by MY rules.#if i skip out on therapy tomorrow i should cancel tonight. i guess i'm just split about it.#like. it's clear i have things to talk about. but man i just don't fucking WANT to. i'm SICK OF IT#it's more of the same and then some. my circumstances will never change bc i'm in hell. okay.#who CARES .......#who GIVES a shit..........#ect.
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#i am at my fucking limit lol#i need to leave this fucking town and this fucking state the very second i can nail down both a car and a remote job#the fucking ''''affordable'''' housing company i rent from has once again opted to start harassing us#and we're once again gonna have to be in a fucking fight with landlords who think that we're making too much money to live in a $1200 apt#and want us to pay $2000 a month for this rathole we live in despite taxes and deductions literally absorbing a quarter of our earnings#so they want to absorb half of what we have left when ive yet to be able to even afford a car that isn't a fucking beater destined for scrap#at least not without using p much all of my current life savings in the process#so we have to instead get around by buses that refuse to actually show up take us on huge detours for no reason have lead feet that-#-exacerbate my chronic pain and - oh! how could i forget? is also horrifically mismanaged to the point where they're now canceling entire-#-bus routes including the one i take to work and ALSO GOES TO THE AIRPORT lol#and nothing will fucking change about the highway robbery rent hikes bc the entire state legislature is filled with and bought by-#-landlords NIMBYs and property management firms.#that's not even getting into the fact that ive got too many traumatic memories too many enemies and not enough good things to show for it#the only thing I've got in this fucking town is my partner bc not even our home can be considered safe anymore.#i want to take them and the home we dream of and get the fuck out bc i can't keep doing this shit#and i can't even fucking talk to them about this bc they need me to be the strong one for once#im so tired. i feel like im in danger even though i know we'd be able to tank the hit to our finances. but i would like to escape.#i know of a city in ny where our $1200 rent is considered the norm. there's also so much more to do within reach that isn't just. drinking.#i wanna go there. i may have had a desire to live there since our vacation there this past March.#but for now im stuck here dreaming of the future and fighting off desperation and despair in the present#this breakdown brought to you by: the bus purposely avoiding my stop this morning after learning my landlord wants to ruin us again#vent
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good lord my brain is running laps and i just wanna knock it out and get some goddamn sleep
#apparently just bc I figured it out my brain still isn’t gonna chill out#now i’m stuck between do i communicate and embarrass myself#in hopes that it calms down the fears that i’m already aware are probably irrational#or do i do my best to ignore it and hope my brain chills out on its own soon#and that in the meantime i don’t do my go-to moves when i overthink something#which are running away or getting mean#(not like. mean mean. but snarky. and a little harsh and irritable)#bc no one has done anything wrong!#myself included so far!#my brain just will not let go of this stupid fear#and it’s the same fucking fear that has haunted me on and off through every era of my life#i WILL NOT isolate myself or push people away that’s wildly counterproductive#and honestly i find it mind boggling that that’s even a response bc IT MAKES NO SENSE#anyway everything is changing and it’s fucking me up big time#there’s too many things changing all at once and tbh i’m fucking terrified#and this just happened to be the thing that finally pushed me into ‘cant fucking deal with this’ territory#and nothing has even changed! it’s all in my head right now!!!#it’s so fucking frustrating to know something intellectually but your emotions are off doing their own shit#‘you can’t think away emotions’ I CAN FUCKING TRY#it comes down to fear and anger at that fear and anger at change#i’m so angry and there’s nowhere to direct that anger#being angry at a concept or the very passage of time is just so unsatisfying and annoying#*change as a#personal#i’d say sorry for the vent posts but i can’t afford therapy so#and this is the next best thing
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i'm not even done with the new rwd episode but. spoilers ahead
anyway funny thing. i wasn't like, super on board with the professionals when i was first binging through the first 3 seasons and especially once we got to season 3 i tunnel visioned on VR-LA and MR-SN super hard (as is probably extremely obvious from my art) but like. 4.5?? the exchange they had??? the fucking breakup scene???? yeah. yeah i get it now. i have no idea why or what changed but i have now Gotten It at the worst possible timing. what the hell
#rolling with difficulty#usually i don't tag my rambles but just this once i'm gonna do it i want to share my sadness onto other people#im like too sad to finish rhe rest of the episode but too mad to go to sleep so i'm just sitting here stewing#genuinely i have no idea what made it click for me but like#honestly every part of that conversation hit me like a truck#maxim saying it's rare for adventurers to voluntarily leave that life for 'something greater' - ouch????#like it's so fuckin targeted dear god but also yeah. yeah he would think that huh#vr-la saying he's here as a friend extending a curtesy and maxim immediately being like 'your flattery is unnecessary' like fuck man#'if you wish to avail of my friendship *or something more* i'm afraid that's no longer possible' there's so many layers of what the fuck#'you of all people asking for change' i honestly laughed cuz that's just a good line but also godfuckin dammit#and like just... all of what VR-LA said before he left. like the way neither of them are willing to make enough of a change to get out of th#this unstoppable force vs immovable object situation they're in#they're so like. perfectly in opposition. and it tickles my brain but also DAMN this conversation is painful#god. i hate this /pos#like YES I GET IT NOW BUT ALSO WHY *NOW*#angry and in pain#i guess to some extent it's also like#i've been in that situation where you and a good friend realise your lives are going in irreconcilably different directions#and you want to keep them in your life but it's just not possible with the way you want to live your life and they want to live theirs#and it HURTS and there's NOTHING you can do about it which makes it HURT SO MUCH MORE#fuck. what the hell#especially when the things they'd need to change would also be GOOD for them like maxim embracing change and accepting risks#and VR-LA learing some self-preservation#but at the same time it's like yeah of course they're gonna push each other away rather than change the way they view their lives#i mean both are painful but one of thems clearly easier than the other#i mean speaking from experience one is in fact clearly easier than the other
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yeah ok i see why they changed the angle . this makes sense
#he looks so . . . tender . and happy . im gonna go lay down in dirt now . astarion gives me so much brainrot#the other screenshots i hav of this is both of em in clown make up . simply cus i thought it was funny ^-^#i hav so many thoughts abt them . . . once i finish up his act 3 arc and stuff i think i'll write up smthn abt them#they have . a similar dynamic to two of my other rpg duos . i simply have a trope it seems#im trying to get out of this mental slump im in so pls excuse my indulgence of video games . im Trying very hard#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 tav#hellefer#dannie games#astellefer#the angle before was fine too but i think i like this more . idk why they changed it tho ?
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I'm now OFFICIALLY permanent at my new data analysis job which in addition to being super cool bc I get to autistically play around in Excel for money now ALSO means that I can get my next piercings since I no longer have to wear a headset for ten hours a day and I am vibrating in excitement. I can finally get more holes stabbed into me
#ive been wanting to get more ear piercings for YEARS#but that is not a good idea when you work at a call center#i can FINALLY get my next ones done tho. im gonna be getting two more helix piercings on my left ear (for a total of three)#once they heal enough for me to change the jewelry ill have so many options to make them look cool#i cant really buy a lot of cool jewelry bc im allergic to most metals which is part of why im just sticking to ear piercings#but with them all being in a line like that i can mix different 'plain' pieces in cool ways#three barbells in a line is already gonna look cool but imagine three jeweled studs in a line#or three captive ball rings kinda draped over each other#or MAYBE if i can find one thats the right type of metal even one of those spiral piercings that goes through all of them#the possibilities are endless#after those heal completely (i am NOT gonna have both of my ears healing at once i would like to be able to SLEEP bro)#i plan to get an industrial on my right ear#im SO excited yall ive been waiting for YEARS & now im finally gonna have my plans for my left ear finished hopefully within a week or two#and then in about half a year or so i can get my plans for my right ear finished too#a year after that ill be fully healed and either be completely done or ready for the new ideas i came up with in the meantime#im going to become the cool dyke with a lot of piercings that i was always meant to be 🙏#and healing is gonna be much easier now that my sides are shaved. less chance of getting my hair caught or getting shampoo in it#this is gonna be great#rambling
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I know mermay is over (I'm so sad about that tbh) but.
BSD merperson!AU were in which Fyodor and Dazai are merpersons who live in the deep sea/are based on deep sea creatures and Nikolai and Chuuya are merpersons who live in the sunlight or the twilight zone/are based on marine animals who live in the zone.
Fyodor wants to stay in the deep sea while Dazai wants to see the light.
#I've been thinking#I've been staring holes into the air and I have sooo many idea for it#A whole plot#Yes yes#Maybe I'm gonna make a post#I am weak for bsd merperson AUs#Chuuya would be based on a boardbarred firefish bc I associate Chuuya highly with fire and warmth#Fyodor is secretly scared to leave the deep sea. Probably because he got captured once or smth#I would probably write this as Fyolai and Soukoku but I am very tempted to write them as a polycule#I wanna draw this so bad#But I'm rather insecure about my art(not my colorings) so I'm probably just going to upload the headcanon post!#Bram would be a vampire squid.#Bc u know. Vampire. But actually not evil or dangerous.#Atsushi could be a tiger shark#Merpersons can swim around and change zones without any big risks. I think the eyes of deep sea merpersons hurt when they first enter#a zone with light and other merpersons might get a headache;can't see stuff bc it's too dark and get cold (body temperature) when they#enter the deep sea/midnight zone but besides that they should be fine#I have so much ideas#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bungou gay dogs#bsd fyodor#bungou stray dogs hcs#bsd nikolai gogol#bsd nikolai#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#fyolai
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hguh <- considering making a sideblog for a one piece bending au i have 1) come up with today, 2) want to share art/fic for that i haven't even made yet, 3) keep making more and more notes for to the point my hand is having the very rare yet very annoying occurrence of Cramps, 4) been assailed with so many domestic and gag ideas and a handful of really unoriginal fight scenes, and 5) as i'm typing this i'm realizing none of these are reasons not to make a sideblog and yet i am still paralyzed by the very likely fact that i will not want to bother with this whole idea tomorrow when the coffee has finally filtered fully out of my system and will have to do the proverbial walk of shame that is deleting the sideblog i made less than 24 hours prior
#its not that deep but it IS that deep yknow what i mean#ill probably just make the blog anyway tbh and just slap some random doodles there once in a while#oh i could make it an ask blog even#hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm#thoughts. thinking. pondering even#the problem is. i wanna focus on my main guy. my beloved lil blorbo. but my brain keeps drifting to canon events#and What Would Change In This AU#and its like no!!! i like doing that with other stuff but not this one!!!#just lemme focus on the funnies and the domesticity and the character dynamics!!!#im gonna lose that battle if i keep the blog long enough. i know that. its inevitable.#definitely going to be fighting it as long as possible though bc it'll just make my brain hurt thinking about it too much.#okay if the blog lasts over 24 hours (or maybe a week?? a week is probably better) and i'm not bored with it#i'll reblog this with the name of the blog#yeah. ill do that. and im not gonna force it. if it doesnt vibe i'll just leave it be. drifting in obscurity.#perfect okay#also yeah this is 100% the fault of High Tide by kurgaya; that fic gave me so many brainworms
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