#not fake characters that can be changed
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Why would you—That's not—I just wanted to ask for help, why did you have to go and make it awkward???
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#xue yang#Its such a relief to not have to draw so many characters once again.#Redrawing the specific font from the English translated mdzs books was surprisingly fun!#Maybe I'm alone in this...but I think characters switching to a different font of speech for *emphasis* is peak comedy#you can't communicate voice changes of sound very well in non audio forms so this is the best I can do.#Anyways...rip Xue Yang. You finally meet your idol and he brushes you off#Rather— he doesn't live up to the expectations you built in your head#Kind of an on going issue there Jester (I refuse to call him king or sir)#XY is constantly making people out to be the versions he needed them to be to feel justified in his actions#but struggles to pivot when confronted with the fact that these ppl are *more* than just one surface reading!#wwx doesn't actually think xy is flirting. He's just tired of all the fake fans + wants to get out of this convo.#button mashing the A button to skip the unskippable cutscene#Lan Wangji is in the next comic btw. I've missed him dearly. I'm sorry he's been gone so long </3#edit: poorly spelt MDZS strikes again. This is why I need more time to write my comics. So I can actually proofread B*(#edit2: I cast 'Power of Technology' and fixed my error. Everyone reblog this version instead please
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i cannot ever get over gi-hun actually. the fact that he chooses to believe in the good of humanity even after witnessing what he has, and that he joins the games AGAIN with (mathematically) even LESS chances of survival JUST because he wants to save people, people who DON'T CARE, people who are SELFISH and who continuously betray and hurt him just fucking KILLS ME. a very big critique from many people (and i've noticed, especially men) about the second season and gi-hun's character is that he is stupid. they find him to be stupid that he has this weak spot for an uncaring crowd, that he comes back to the games to save people who wouldn't think of him twice, instead of going to his daughter. they think that him caring and despising a system this deeply is a sign of weakness and stupidity.
but if anything, i find it admirable. maybe i can't bring myself to hate him because i think i'd do the same thing. i watch him on-screen and think, "yeah, i would do that too", every single mistake, every single thing, i get him. and he may look stupid to some but i think if anything, he's just too caught up in an ideal world in which people care, but i find it admirable that this is his personality even after witnessing the previous games. he still has hope, they haven't wiped it away from him. comparing him to in-ho is like night and day, because in-ho was broken by the games and came back to perpetuate that same hurtful system, while gi-hun was broken by the games and came back to break the people that created the system, and the system itself.
he speaks to me, as an individual who clings to hope until his very last breath, who can never seem to learn from his mistakes because he is so stubborn, he wants to prove that humanity could, and should, have hope and that it's worth to fight for it, not to just leave for a different continent and forget about it. that's what draws me to him, this endless fight in him, i can't find him stupid because he's so desperate to change things. and he never gives up even after his friends die before him.
idk i just am really unwell about gi-hun. i think people treat him too harshly. i'm unsure how well this is worded, but what i really want to say is that i don't think he should be perfect and immediately learn from every single mistake he has ever made. the fact that he is this broken given his past, even before the games he's set up as this really caring and traumatized individual, and that they double down on his same characteristics that make him so incredibly real... he's just really special to me. i really admire the way he is written and i think he's a really good representation of people who fight for a change even when it all seems lost. he's just that kind of guy that doesn't, couldn't, will never give up. and i really love that.
#he's so fucking stubborn and i get why people see him as an idiot; because they're people that think things don't change#that people will always stay the same and life will never get any better; people who don't have fight in them; people without hope#but that's exactly why i like gi-hun; he's the opposite of them; he wants to change things and for things to change even if it kills him#and to his last fucking breath he will want things to change; to his last breath he will rebel against the system#maybe he shouldn't have come back to the games; maybe he should've gone to america to live a life of comfort; maybe he should have stopped#fighting a long time ago#but he didn't. because he's not that type of person. he's the type of person that keeps fucking fighting. until his very last breath.#i think he's a really beautiful character. that's the only way i can describe him atp: beautiful. he's got a kind soul. he has hope.#i understand why some people don't like him or disagree with his morals; i really do. i do sometimes think there's no hope and that the -#system and that people will never change. but there need to be people like gi-hun for things to change.#you can't just forget about the games and go to america to live a life of comfort; ignoring the fact that things are bad for fake comfort.#sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands and go out and rejoin those damn games. even if it kills you.#there needs to be people like gi-hun in this world. there just needs to be.#we would never get anywhere without people like gi-hun.#seong gi hun#gi hun#player 456#squid game#character analysis#my rambles
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Do u actually ship rocky and mitzi?
to try and be as simple as possible, i suppose i do ship them ; i’m particularly drawn by their dynamic and have long since grown enamored with it … so, naturally, i enjoy turning them over in my head and shoving them together, seeing all the possible ways they fit and how they function when glued together. rocky’s feelings for mitzi are so intense and metaphorical that there’s a lot of ground to run with, honestly. it’s not a black and white relationship where they fit neatly under one label or another either, hence my constant use of the term ‘a secret third thing’ for them overall. there’s romance, obsession, desperation, platonic associations, and a thousand other factors embedded into what they have. rocky simply ‘seeing mitzi as a mother figure’ or ‘being totally in love with her in a traditional sense’ just doesn’t capture them with the justice they deserve. it’s more … muddled than that. rocky, at this point in time, is completely incapable of maintaining love anyway, and mitzi certainly isn’t any better either. in a context where i envision them together, that aspect is a big part of things : where they click together due to their inability to sustain a healthy and stereotypical romantic bond, and thus accidentally fuel each other’s unhappy paths. it’s easy to see how mitzi does this to rocky! but rocky is capable of doing it to her as well, what with his all-consuming need to be who she relies on and to restore the lackadaisy to it’s previous glory for himself and her. he enables her and she enables him, even if it’s subconscious and accidental. while there is undeniable fondness and care there, they are also walking down this path hand-in-hand, tugging each other along when one of then falters or pauses. so, to me, it’s not hard imagining things becoming closer and more intimate … who doesn’t want to be smashed together against someone who gives you all the validation you crave and never shuns you, twisting all your awful deeds into something good and believing you righteous at all times. it’s addicting! and natural. while rocky obviously would enjoy such a relationship, so would mitzi at this point in her life. where she’s exhausted and feels particularly ugly within, and is currently all alone.
they also would click in ways that wouldn’t force them to abandon how they currently go about romance. mitzi needs to spend a good portion of her day thinking about her dead husband and nobody else, meanwhile rocky is very enamored with being a knight in shining armor so to speak, only able to express himself through extreme devotion, a thing that ( as said by crew members on stream ) can’t singlehandedly keep a relationship afloat … normally. but mitzi can deal with rocky’s rather eccentric and destructive behavior, can take the only thing he can offer and accept it wholeheartedly, because she couldn’t handle anything more normal or mature right now. and rocky, despite his occasional displays of territorial behavior, never bats an eye at or feels inferior to mitzi’s atlas obsession. this wouldn’t be the case in other relationships, where both of them would have to change or grow in some way in order to keep the love stable and secure. there would be things they’d have to give up, or be vulnerable about, and both of them are too stubborn for that at this point. a random lover would always be a second thought compared to the lackadaisy.
( now, of course, i ship mitzi and rocky with other people! and i’m very interested in these bonds forming during canon’s events. but it’d either be an unhealthy relationship, due to everything i said above, or a happier sort of take on things : where mitzi and rocky are pulled from their minds’ unraveling edges and are both given the care, patience, and understanding they both need. one where they can set aside the lackadaisy for a moment or two, and can find genuine happiness somewhere else. i never see them as fully moving on from it, nor do i see mitzi fully giving up atlas or rocky fully giving up mitzi, but things can be softened and less insane. sometimes! )
now, is this healthy? no. but is this me saying they should be surgically removed from one another because they make each other ‘worse’? also no! i adore them in every sense of the word and acting like there aren’t positives attached to their dynamic would, frankly, be stupid of me. they are there for each other in their worse moments and approach each other with kindness, something they don’t really get from others anymore. they are genuinely happy to be in each other’s presence and have a habit of lifting each other up, or providing each other some much needed warmth on a bad day. you see it many times in the comic, situations where mitzi is devestated, and rocky rushes in to comfort her ; and he always succeeds in some way, wiggling that severe expression off her face and getting her to smile, even if it’s small and weak. and rocky loves that! it makes him happy to be able to ease her heartache and worries so. it makes him feel useful and needed, and she’s one of the only people in his life to give him even a sliver of praise here or there. here are some examples i can remember off the top of my head :
and while there isn’t many examples of mitzi praising rocky, she is also still one of the few people who shows concern over him and asks after him. there are also two scenes, in the pilot and in the comic, where rocky messes up big time, and mitzi has every right to be frustrated with him. she could yell, she could get mean, like rocky is so used to, but instead … she sucks it in and simply lets it go. this happens with the pig farmers, but also in the pilot most notably! where the second she realizes how hard rocky is taking her words, her reasonable and sympathetic irritation at things not working out, she backtracks. she forces those emotions away and simply says this, earnestly and kindly, and wipes the devestation off rocky’s face :
as much of an accidental negative influence they can have on each other, there’s also a more purposeful positive influence that is inherent in their dynamic. i wouldn’t ever want to dismiss that, nor do i enjoy when other people rush to do so themselves, claiming they’re simply no good for each other. well, they claim mitzi is a manipulative person who only sees rocky as a pawn, but i’ll pretend fans are critical of rocky’s many faults as well. the point is : they’re good for each other and to each other! they just happen to have a great capacity to cling and stay where they are rather than doing anything more beneficial or productive. any dynamic in lackadaisy can become toxic in a sense, given the fact that a majority of the characters are prone to indulging in their flaws and chasing what’s familar, what’s most comfortable, with little regard to anyone else. but i find that aspect interesting, and i love rocky/mitzi all the more for their accidental enabling and vastly obscured views.
the more romantic aspects aren’t really something i care too much about, overall. i play around with it and find scenarios where things can bloom in such a way, but them calling each other ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ isn’t something i care for. i do not think mitzi would ever be attracted to rocky in a sappy lovesick way -- she’s above fawning as it is, and is rather methodical about things like passion or adoration nowadays anyway. her eyes can’t exactly sparkle upon seeing rocky spilling syrup all over himself nor can she sigh dreamily at his nonsensical, improv poetry spiels that just burst out of him like water through a broken dam. but they could soften at the corners and she could convince herself of something romantic if it held her the right way. if she felt battered enough to give into it, or was lonely enough to indulge herself in a place she knows she’s wanted. rocky, on the other hand, is a bit easier to imagine here! he would never say no to miss m. and actively wants to ‘keep’ her already … if they were to become an item, an obscure, happenstance item, than he’d embrace it full heartedly! it’s been well established rocky isn’t one to turn down love or affection, so to get it from mitzi of all people? it’d be extremely ooc to even pretend he’d regret it or shy away. he loves her, of course he does, his beautiful dionysus : who unlocks her doors for him to enter, who smiles upon him with her wine soaked lips, who brushes a dainty paw across his shoulder and sings him praises like it doesn’t pain her to say them. she is warm and comforting and soft, and rocky is possessed by a maddening desire to wrap every spaghetti limb he has around her, and never let her go. again, his love is nothing short of all-consuming and obsessive where mitzi is concerned. her devoted acolyte! it would be simple to see how he’d get here in comparison to mitzi’s more wounded and guarded heart. i don’t think rocky fully loves her in only a romantic sense, however! i’m a firm believer that it is a mix of romantic and platonic feelings, an awkward and intensive blend of the two, this sort of combination that isn’t easy to sort through. he does take comfort in the fact she reminds him of a motherly figure, just as much as he genuinely finds her attractive and appealing in a puppy love kind of way. there’s also the fact that rocky is keen on lying to mitzi and wearing masks around her in the name of seeming more amazing in her eyes -- the fact his love for her is metaphorical and personal in equal measure, and the fact mitzi hides herself away from everyone around her. there would be a lot of untangling! a lot of pretending. this is a ship that will always have a multitude of layers and caveats attached to it, so to speak.
but that excites me! i like it! i love a dynamic that i could write endlessly about no matter the context it’s being framed in! how utterly unsurprising it is that the first lackadaisy fic i thought of was one that would focus heavily on these two and what’s happening between them, what could happen. mitzi wallowing in her self-inflicted misery while rocky prowls around her, begging to be useful to her while simultaneously chasing off a suitor of hers that he cannot stand to let near, is quite the image in my mind, and is one i always have looping around in the back of my head. the parallels to atlas/mordecai are an added bonus to this! if rocky is doomed by the narrative then mitzi is the narrative to which he’s bleeding himself upon, you know? that, as well as his own insecure delusions. mitzi, similarly, would easily waste away to nothing or get herself killed while trying to pursue her nostalgic ambitions if it weren’t for rocky being so willing to do the dangerous stuff for her. i think about how mitzi almost got herself killed in skedaddle and how rocky rushed to save her. while zib and ivy care for mitzi, and viktor is obligated to protect her, they are not as quick as rocky is -- nor as recklessly devoted to the point of readily given sacrifice.
anyway! i’m very fond of them, and there are so many scenes and other aspects of their characters that i could spend ages pouring over. this is, genuinely, merely a fraction of my thoughts on them. although i do hope i answered your question, anon! i got a bit carried away and i’m sure a lot of this is hard to parse through by default, but oh well!
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#in a sense? lol#i just LOVE these two i love them so bad!! they are very near and dear to me#i dont even think my words here can encapsulate the love i have for them#or the complexity of their bond : how genuine and fake and intense it all is#i also just enjoy devotion in all my dynamics so it’s not shocking that they hit all the right marks for me#again! i do not care for them kissing or whatever. i do not care for them dating. but i could see it#i often think about how rocky was originally supposed to be the leader of the band before zib was created#and how this could imply him being romantically entangled with mitzi in previous character iterations … before things changed obviously!#so! i do find that neat. and what can i say? mitzi sadly likes a tortured artist. she’s also selfish lol#they are my barbie dolls and im throwing them into every scenario my sick and twisted mind can think of etc etc#also they just have extreme comedic potential and sitcom vibes together … which i find hilarious and fun!#ugh there’s so much i didn’t bring up here due to fic reasons and also because i’m too busy to focus on this longer but!!!#i love them your honor. nobody gets them like i do!!
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i've been talking a lot less about dumb twitter discourse because i've pretty much blocked almost all of datwt at this point lol but the last one i've finally decided is block on sight is "ugh why are there so many american accents in dav"
#madelyn rambles#idk if classist is the right word#when it comes to the mindset that fantasy characters all have to be british#but it feels like it's classist lol#also lbr it's entirely a change made out of convenience#having all of the elves be welsh or irish is fun!#but it necessitates finding a bunch of welsh and irish voice actors#or actors who can do a believable accent which is less ideal#(and i feel like voice acting has moved away from silly fake accents and more into using genuine representation?)#(esp after the laura bailey nadine situation)#and when you're a game studio in the middle of canada#it's a lot harder to find those actors
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More Detective Conan art, this time its a bunch of sketches! Still trying to figure out how to draw most of the characters (the change in artstyle and designs does not help), but I'm getting there!
For those who don't know, I'm watching this show completely blind so please keep spoilers out of this post; as of posting this, I have just finished ep 514.
#Detective Conan#shinichi kudo#conan edogawa#Funny dialogue is so difficult to write I dont know how people do it#Bout time I mention my favorite characters so far are Kogoro Sonoko Shiratori and Heiji#I adore them anytime they're on screen#I read somewhere that Kogoro's va changes around the 500s and I'm so sad about it#va changes can either be really good or really bad so I'll have to wait and see how I feel on his new voice#Im also trying so hard to ignore that the last couple episodes have been in that ugly angular style#500+ episodes of the style is going to kill me#Lastly i have been drawing so much Shinichi and detective boys art#I think his dynamic with them is so cute#Need a Shinichi return case with the detective boys and they actually figure out the Conan=Shinichi thing except they come to the conclusio#*conclusion that shinichi is the fake identity
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Can you explain the entropy AU?
Megaman X: Entropy is a mockup fangame where X and Axl need to rescue Zero from the maverick group Time's Arrow!
The members of Time's Arrow act as employees and/or bodyguards of their leader, Welcome Back, who is a sculptor that has one all-time favorite medium- reploids. X and Axl work together to defeat the mavericks and make their way to the museum where Zero is being held captive. During the final boss fight, Welcome Back (who's based on a parasitic horsehair worm) takes control of Zero's body and uses him as a weapon to fight the two.
Other than that, a lot of reploids are alive in this au for my own convenience with redesigns to match. Sigma is active again in his current form, along with a rebuilt Vile MK-VI and Velguarder! He actually considers Vel as an equal, with Vile ranking beneath the two of them. The rest of the games are unrelated, and Entropy was meant to be a spinoff to scratch my itch for Command Mission content.
Now I never intended to do anything with these, I even rewrote the "fangame" to be a mystery visual novel/point-and-click set in a masquerade party. The three were meant to investigate alleged maverick activity at the party in disguise, Sly Cooper style.
OTHERWISE. If I say "Entropy", I just mean my own redesigns and continuity. "Reprise" is my classic series redesign AU, and "Requiem" is my MMZ redesign AU.
I DO have more details on my toyhouse page if you were intrigued. I might consider doing more OC stuff in the future, I miss these guys!
#ask#starryartist512#megaman x entropy#you can ask anything else if you'd like! i have more specific stuff on da toyhouse#entropy is pretty much my fav things shoved into one fan game#i even planned on making fake gameplay videos in unity! but i only ever made entropy zero in the past few years.#oh and welcome back is my reploid sona#just to clarify :D#its pretty funny looking back at the size chart. besides x those were my first drawings of the hunters in that au so they look different no#x is fatter- zero is more feminine- and axl is literally the same i have drawn him maybe thrice max#also zero is more native i changed up his facial features a lot since then. it is the fate of every fav characters of mine to be ojibwe
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My extremely specific and self-indulgent headcanon is that Reigen's a sex-repulsed ace but he does not have any concept of these terms or know anything about asexuality, and bc he's never been in a serious relationship where the issue would come up he's just gotten by on Not Thinking About It. And Dimple is a sex-neutral ace; he's a ghost, this doesn't really apply to him, but he wouldn't be opposed to messing around if he was ever in a situation where that made sense. Which means that when they start dating Dimple's like, "Well, he's a human so he probably cares about that sort of thing; I'd better let him know I'm okay with it!" just as Reigen's like, "Well, I'm in a relationship now so I'd better find a way to get over the completely nonsensical bad feelings I have about physical intimacy!"
And obviously they work it out but bc it requires Reigen to be Honest About His Feelings it's pretty touch-and-go for a while there.
(And then at some point later on they learn about asexuality as an identity and Reigen's like ". . . Oh." and Dimple's like "See, idiot, I told you it was normal!")
#mob talk#ekurei#my deepest ace fantasy of 'what if one character was sex-repulsed and their partner was not#and the sex-repulsed person was convinced that this would ruin everything#but their partner literally Did Not Care#you don't want to have sex? cool. we won't.#and this changes literally nothing else'#maybe i am still working through some things! it's fine!#i can project onto a fake anime psychic if i want to!
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i'm not a book purist, never have been, i've been fine with a lot of changes made from the f&b source material for the show (i'm a rhaenicent girlie, so like duh) but i can't really take the "how can you be mad that the show changed stuff, f&b is a history book so obviously some things just got muddied up" take is that westeros isn't real.
f&b is written as a history book in its format, with different viewpoint represented by different characters, but it's still, functionally, a novel. this is not an actual collection of historical texts where conflict reports are being generated and things have been lost to decay, this is a fictitious work written by author george raymond richard martin and published by bantam books/penguin random house. george created the entire thing out of whole cloth, he is not re-cataloguing existing historical information about any real time period. he wrote a story, and he made choices for that story about what would be most narratively compelling and what works better in a fictional setting. maegor is a monster because it was the most narratively compelling choice. rhaena the queen in the east had the life that she did because it was the most narratively compelling choice. blood and cheese went down as described because it was the most narratively compelling choice. george, as a writer, made a calculation of "what would be the most engaging story to tell here that also gets my thematic statements across for this particular section", and wrote accordingly.
and sometimes, when you deviate from those choices, you are creating a less engaging story and moving away from the themes that also helped make that story more interesting. and it is perfectly acceptable to critique those writing choices within an adaptation and say that changes have weakened the narrative, because this isn't real. none of this happened, none of this ever existed, f&b being formatted as a history book makes for a great analytical exercise as well as for some fun metas (you guys know i love the ambiguity of stuff when it comes to the conquerors) and makes for an interesting reading experience when you are presented with conflict evidence and have to parse out which version you think is more likely. but it's still fake. it's still one creative work, that in this case is being adapted into another creative work, and sometimes it is being adapted badly.
#personal#hotd critical#i mean i guess??#idk i don't really think you can do 'um it's a history book you can't be annoyed at changes' because it's fake#it's not an actual history book#there is no actual ambiguity#grrm as a creative made creative choices for a reason#and if i think that altering those creative choices make for a lesser narrative i can damn well say it#i think the show version of blood and cheese is INSANELY weaker from a character/narrative/thematic perspective#and it's fine to look at things through that lens because this has been fictional from start to finish#anyway that's my rant done for the day i'm gonna go back to watching youtube and failing miserably and getting any writing done
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Here's Duct (Pepbot) & Tape (Pep Clone)! They're best friends who bonded after the tower collapse. They basically cause hijinx akin to Scratch and Grounder on occasion.
#kirm draws ✨#pizza tower oc#pizza tower#I never posted the goobers on here but ppl on twitter liked them. so#should I make character tags? idk. later maybe#tape is a different color to match it's duct btw. given fake can change it's colors to match pep I don't see it as like#crazy weird for the clones to be able to casually do the same if they put some thought into it
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I’m so unbothered about love triangles these days but something about the Hawthorne boys is making me a bit insane
#it’s the way grayson pulled back from avery but promised to do everything he can to protect her. and in doing so is protecting her from#himself#its the way jameson has fundamentally changed as a result of avery being at the house and forgetting the game for her#it’s the way they’re trying desperately not to repeat the situation with emily but are falling back into old patterns anyway#it’s the way Nash’s ex fiancée is averys lawyer but he’s slowly falling for libby#it’s the way xander was fake dating thea so she could have a secret relationship with rebecca#its the way nearly all of them feel responsible in some way for emilys death and she continues to haunt the narrative even though avery#never even met her and we have actual back from the dead characters#good lord this series is making me a bit insane#this was only supposed to be about grayson jameson and avery but legit all of them are in some form#of multi sided love shape of some description#and I’m so here for it???#what is this 2012#I’ve only read the first two pls no spoilers#the inheritance games#jennifer lynn barnes
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god. inquisition + trespasser was so good... fuck
#every now and then i'll be like 'ouh im kinda ok with how veilguard turned out i mean it could've been worse or it could've#never happened' but then like. i see the old games and im like waow. how far we've fallen#though i gotta say after veilguard there's some dialogue choices in inquisition that make me wanna punch drywall#solasmancer inky who (having drunk from the well [jesus christ the amount of foreshadowing and buildup that was just abandoned]) tells sola#that she will use the power of the well to move the world forward. even if she messes up she promises to keep trying#because the world only gets better if you accept your part in it#UGHHHHHHHH#AND HE AGREES AND GIVES APPROVAL#T_T#im not even a solasmancer but this character is SO GOOD and his story is SO GOOD#and the conclusion we got was like a shambling stuck-together-with-spit-and-bubblegum version of what could've been#T______T#swagever. at least i got to meet emmrich#I feel about emmrich the same way that romanced solas feels about the inquisitor#this world is doomed and stupid and everyone in it is fake people EXCEPT FOR YOU#and that changes everything and also can't change shit and ig the only thing i can do is keep soldiering on#lucky to have met you even in this fucked up not right bad end ass world#sigh.
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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the most frustrating situation you can be in as a writer is knowing something about your story Does Not Work but having no idea what it is or why
#it's one thing when you KNOW what's wrong. “my main character is flat”. ok! let's come up with some ways to make them more interesting!#but what are you supposed to do when you have NO idea what's wrong!!!!#in my sci-fi novel series my main character's plot in book 1 is just. not clicking. and idk why#the other two pov characters' plots are all basically sorted. i'm working on draft 3 of book 1 & for them i'm just tweaking things#but my MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER? i keep changing her plot#not DRASTICALLY but like. it's still way more in flux than the other two characters' plots and it still doesn't work!!!!!#there's something clunky or weird about it. or i'm overthinking it#whateverrr i'm just writing through to the end of this draft and then i can dissect it later#i've had this idea to write a “prequel” to the series for a while. not literally a prequel but just all the characters' backstories#i might work on that for fake camp nanowrimo next month. that might spark some ideas#m.txt
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Next week will be the first time I am doing this, but definitely about to skip bahmee scenes in the trainee (let's wonder if there is any of the drama left)
#i can stand this fake ass bitch with her crocodile tears anymore#and the worse thing is the show just trying to force us to like her but never giving any development#just her blaming everyone or crying her way out of things ✨#i truly gave all the opportunity for this drama to show her changing#focusing on her career#but idk i hate when they give messy characters but are too scary for helding them accountable in the plot#her mistake was grossed over and now they are pretending it was okay for her to cheat? because she was lonely?#girl there was many options before cheating#like talking or breaking up#not cheating in your relationship birthday#the way she treated pah this episode says a lot too#he was the only one calling her out in her bullshit#so she goes and cry to her boo about how her boyfriend was mean (to justify the cheat to herself and the audience)#then when pah gets hurt#she makes it about herself#cries#and make it so that is hard for him to stay mad or actually call her out again#making herself the victim of the whole situation agaun#when the one that got hurt was pah#i never forgot by the way#all she chased her boyfriend every single minute of his breathing#causing problems during meetings and breaking important materials (the hd that could get him fired)#but sure he was the one being dependent on her abd begging her to care for his evrry breathing second#the trainee#the trainee the series#oh yeah#and i do know a lot of this readings are in bad faith#i can see what the directors are trying to portray here#but to me they are just delivering a fake shallow girl
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eight and liv but they enable eachother’s murderous tendancies instead of their actual dynamic
#eighth doctor#liv chenka#eight and liv but eight is the same eight who would have killed davros gladly if they were the only victims in terror firma#eight and liv but eight takes more traits from caerdroia’s the nasty one#eight and liv but eight resembles the eight who was like ‘give me the code and i shant break your arm’#gets the code and whomps the guy’s head against a wall in vanishing point#eight and liv but eights character actually makes sense to be like that after de1#im sorry but eight is rarely an optimist. he is however a hopeful realist#‘despair accords with reality but i insist on hope’ and such#he KNOWS the universe is full of evil but#his hope never stops him from doing horrible things. like killing the clock faced people in anachrophobia#in de1 he is faced with his despair after the death of lucie in the face of ww1 and the daleks and the fake reality made to please him#and when he thought molly had died when she fell. he still had hope. he still climbed back up. but he was still ready to jump back down#with the risk of death#he was going to go to the end of the universe to look for hope. he hurt the tardis and himself for it.#thats all good. thats sexy. but why after all that is he so horribly an optimist#why does he believe that the eleven can change after he's been like that since his second incarnation. lumps of rock evolving into flowers#the only nice incarnation of his being the eight but he was like that since he was born and he was obviously struggling#why does he treat dickbag landlord from better watch out like he has any empathy in him before hes literally dragged to hell#anyway. bitchier eight and bitchier liv i think theyd be great together#actually. the amount of bitch liv is is great already
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thinking about dream daddy again and god brian makes me so mad
#random thoughts#dream daddy#HIS ROUTE ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM#okay so the thing about the fleshed-out routes is you can tell a lot about a character depending on how many people are around#like with craig his first two dates involve at least one of his kids and a lot of social interaction because he's so overworked#so his final date where you just spend time with HIM one-on-one hits a lot harder#while with joseph he surrounds you with people but takes little periods of time to be alone with you to make a move#before instantly surrounding you with people again so you don't have enough time to question if he just made a pass at you#which is why his final date with you on the boat hits so hard: he purposefully isolated you in a place you could not easily leave#so he could make his move#and with brian... all his dates involve daisy in some way#which would imply he's trying to maintain some sort of distance? but he's not. he actively wants to befriend you#daisy and amanda keep tagging along... and for what?#they're eventually sidelined anyway! each date involves a moment where daisy and amanda are gone and you get a moment alone with brian#brian is the dad whose kid is the most present in his route and it says. literally nothing about him#make it so your character keeps inviting brian out and brian keeps making it a 'bring your kid and make it a playdate' thing or SOMETHING#maybe he's been raising daisy by himself for so long he's a bit rusty on how to interact with someone he's interested in?#on the second date daisy and amanda could have stayed home. it would change nothing#have daisy be sick and amanda be otherwise involved (maybe imply they're both faking to get out of fishing/get brian and mc to smooch)#like i don't think i'd mind daisy being around so much if she wasn't such a nothing burger of a character#give her some flaws! have amanda think she's weird or creepy! show us why she has no friends!#why is brian's route centered around our mc's daddy issues. we don't know his dad. we don't give a shit about his dad.#brian's route's main conflict ISN'T EVEN ABOUT HIM??? WHAT THE FUCK#you're essentially forcing us to make a character choice based on a backstory you also forced on us. you fallout 4'd us.#like okay. there's a lot of 'here's a part of your backstory you didn't know about' in dream daddy but this specifically doesn't work#like the ska band? it's a jokey plot device that's kind of weak but also a bit whatever#alex? is an explanation for why you're a single parent. very sad. not very fleshed out.#mc's dad? IS THE FOCUS OF AN ENTIRE ROUTE?????? WHAT THE FUCJ#literally no reason to do that. it makes brian a flatter character whose whole purpose is to react to your daddy issues#GIVE HIM FLAWS. MAKE HIM THE ONE WHO TAKES THE COMPETITION TOO SERIOUSLY
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