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incorrect-sdv-quotes · 4 years ago

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Okay so I know this is a SDV Incorrect quote blog but I really wanted to show off my SDV headcanon’s so you may ignore this post if you wish (I’ll go back to the normal posts after this, I have like 13 quotes queue’d up right now)

Headcanon’s under the cut:

1.Alex’s real first name is Alexander he just prefers to go by Alex

2.Alex is a trans male so he was born female but transitioned to male at age 13

3.The bachelors ages are (listed youngest to oldest):

Alex: 19

Sebastian: 19 (one month older then Alex)

Sam: 20

Harvey: 25-30

Elliott: 36

Shane: 38

4.Despite Sam being older then him Alex is taller (if you put them side by side Sam looks taller but that’s only cause of his hair if you flattened it you could see Alex was taller)

5.Sebastian is secretly a vampire (He does look like one anyway)

6. Haley and Alex kind of have a Hazel and Xander from Bunk’d relationship where they’re kinda friends but one of them *cough cough* Haley *cough* has a huge crush on the other to where it’s at yandere point- Haley is not QUITE as crazy about Alex that Hazel is about Xander and unlike Hazel Haley can hide the craziness she does have around people but when it’s just her and Alex she’s all crazy and clingy-

Like, she’ll call him pet names like “My jock prince” or “Alex-zandy-” or “My knight in shining armor” Etc. etc- or hug him and never let go until someone LITERALLY prys her off- Talk about nutty nutty nut-so-

7. My headcanon voices for the bachelors are: (Well some of them, if a name is in strike through that means I don’t have one for that one- yet)

Alex: Shining Armor from MLP

Sebastian

Sam: Rottmnt Leo/2020 Sonic the Hedgehog/Dewy from Ducktails (this one might change)

Harvey: Fozzie Bear (Harvey: WaKa WaKa (I’m sorry))

Elliott: Gunther from Shake It Up

Shane

8.Shane is basically the god of chickens he’s such a good caretaker of chickens that he could summon an army of chickens to peck the eyes out of everyone in town with one “Babock” CHICKEN ARMY!!

If you decided to read this post and you liked my headcanons then this is it for now more might be added later as I play the game and scroll through the SDV tags on Tumblr more

EDIT 1: More headcanons!:

9: Elliott is an amazing actor but a horrid horror-movie actor (It’s just his screams are unrealistic he will literally just say “Aaaah” otherwise it’s the same as the rest of his acting) (This scream-glitch is an easy fix if you yell “Ghost” more on that in 10)

10: Elliott is TERRIFIED of ghosts even those cute and/or clearly fake ghosts (Why else do you think Spirits Eve/Halloween has Skeletons every year and not ghosts? No one wants to scare anyone Too bad.) Actually Alex dared Elliott to watch the Disney Junior show Vampirina which went fine until Demi came on screen- Elliott literally wet himself and screamed for 3 whole hours- (Poor Alex who had to listen to that the whole time-)

11: Elliott treats his pocket crab as his ACTUAL son, not as his pet but as his actual biological son (it’s actually really cute)

12: The portraits in this video for a portraits mod is how the characters actually look to me (Excluding Elliott Sam and Sebastian they still live in my brain with their cannon looks): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmBW8BzSZpU&list=WL&index=1&t=5s

13: Krobus is Sebastian’s father (yeah you THINK it would not make sense along with Hc numb.5 but if you think about it if his father is a monster and his mother is human he’s gonna be born as a human-looking monster! Which is a Vampire!)

EDIT 2: Damnit. I was scrolling through this and I realized I missed a Hc and it slipped through the original post and the EDIT 1!

14: Alex has Dyslexia (this bugger Hc belonged in the original post but it slipped through both edits)

EDIT 3: MORE HEADCANNONS-

15: Both Abigail and Sebastian used to have hair to match their parents (Abby’s was brown (Like said in game) and Sebastian’s was Ginger) but due to their “Unusual” parents (Abigail: Wizard Sebastian: Krobus) their hair changed color when they got older and their mothers just pretended they died their hair so both the towns people and Abigail and Sebastian themselves would not freak out

16: Sebastian has snake bite piercing's but he only wears them when he’s alone (he got them in the first place cause 1: Sam dared him and 2: he decided it would be a fun way to rebel against dead to Sebastian Demetrius, he didn’t have to keep them but he ended up liking the look)

17: Sebastian owns a giant frog plush, it’s twice the size of him, is really soft and is incredibly fat (it’s to the point it’s just a circle that has stubby legs) he loves it more then anything Excluding Alex but he does not want anyone finding out he loves it let alone owns it so he stuffs it under his bed when people are in and/or near his room

18: Sebastian’s first word was literally “Froggy”

Ex:

Robin: Can you say “mama”?

Baby!Sebastian: ...Froggy!

Robin:

Robin: Out of all words your first word is “Froggy”? Really?

19: The shortest to tallest Bachelors are:

Shane

Sam (If you take his hair and go *Squishes flat*)

Alex

Sebastian

Sam (If you count the added height from his Mullet)

Harvey

Elliott (Tall stinky sea dude)

20: Sam got Sebastian to scream “Bubbles” for 5 hours straight

Details on that:

Sam: It’s impossible to say “Bubbles” threateningly

Sebastian:

Five munities later:

Robin: Uhhhh Sam? Why is my son on the roof screaming “BUBBLES”?

21: Sebastian owns a biker jacket but he only wears it when riding his motorcycle cause the jacket makes him look way more goth then emo and he prefers the emo look over goth look despite he acts more like a goth

22: One Feast of The Winter Star Sebastian got everyone an empty box and when they opened it Seb said: “It’s a void of nothingness. Just like life.” He did not get in trouble or nothing cause your allowed to give what you want but he did not do that again

23: Sebastian requires glasses to read, he can see perfectly but when it comes to reading on a computer or on paper he needs glasses

24: Sam does a perfect Darth Vader voice and Darth Vader breathing noises

25: Sebastian has vampire powers (cause he is a vampire (Hc 5)), he knows about them and is chill about it but he does not use them unless necessary cause he just does not feel the need to use them otherwise (His powers include, immortality (he also can’t be killed cause on my take on Vampires the stuff that “Traditionally” harms/kills them is just a mith and actually does nothing to them), super strength, increased speed, fast self-healing, telekinesis (I know this is not “Traditionally” a vampire power but Seb does have it) and the ability to change into a bat)

26: Both Sebastian and Elliott are actually pretty jacked (Not Alex level jacked but still) you just can’t see it unless they’re shirt-less (but in Seb’s case at least loose the hoodie)

27: Harvey’s doctor’s mallet weapon is just as heavy and as big as himself so he rarely goes into combat cause he has trouble welding his own weapon-

Harvey: Time to explore the mines! *grabs his giant doctors mallet*

Harvey: Nope going down. *falls backward with a thud*

28: Elliott carries at least one very sharp pencil with him at all times so if he sees a very annoying person or a slime that escaped the mines he’ll grab it and go *StAb*

29: Everyone else makes Hermit jokes around Elliott which he finds funny and annoying at the same time (They used to do the jokes about Sebastian as well but they stopped cause when they did Seb strangled them Darth Vader style) Ex of the hermit jokes:

*singing* Someone’s on the beach with a hermit! There’s a hermit on the beach I know I know! Someone’s on the beach with a hermiiiit! And the hermit’s name is Elliott!

30: If you think Elliott’s cannon SDV schedule is anti-social you should see how anti-social he gets when writing a book-

EDIT 4: Surprise, there’s more

31: Elliott is a mermaid merman (he’s a human by day half human half fish by night but he’ll change forms sooner if you dump water on him- found that out by Haley throwing water on him in hopes he’ll melt-)

32: When in ‘fish’ form Elliott’s tail is incredibly strong (if you get hit by it you’ll go flying 900 feet in the air in 5 seconds at full strength)

33:Elliott only lets Harvey call him “Elly” if anyone else does so expect Elliott to dump water on himself then hit you with his fish tail)

34:Vincent will sing The Little Mermaid song “Under the sea” around Elliott and Sebastian (Sebastian cause think about it and Elliott cause he’s an IRL Mermaid)

#sdv #stardew valley #sdv headcanons #stardew valley headcanons #headcanons #not a quote #I have to edit this like 100 times cause I'm dealing with a strikethrough glitch

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zalrb · 4 years ago

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OKAY. SINCE ANONS SEEM TO BE INTERESTED. HERE IS MY DAWSON’S CREEK 1X01 REVIEW.

@jayciethings IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

1. I think the opening scene does a good job in establishing the central struggle of the season and it does it in 3 minutes: 1) things need to change and Joey wants them to 2) Dawson doesn’t see why anything has to change and doesn’t see what Joey is trying to say 3) burgeoning sexuality 4) Joey-Dawson friendship.

2. I also think the Joey-Dawson friendship is also established really well and it’s actually a time where dialogue and action work in tandem. They give a brief history/overview of their friendship: “you’ve been sleeping over since you were 7″ “i’ve seen you pick your nose, scratch your butt” while also showing them watch tv, playfight and ultimately end up sleeping in the same bed, like they did when they were 7.

3. I actually don’t find the dialogue as annoying right now.

4. I will forever be angry that they didn’t pay to have the original music with their scenes because Dawson’s Creek is not Dawson’s Creek without “I Don’t Wanna Wait”.

5. “He did it again, he grabbed my ass.” “Like you even have one.” Joshua’s delivery is perfect because it’s resigned and un-offended.

6. “I’m Jen.” “Oh right, the granddaughter from New York.” That actually isn’t clunky. It’s a good way to do exposition.

7. “You look different.” “Puberty.” LOL Joey Whitter sass.

8. Honestly, at least so far, Joey’s behaviour makes sense for a 15 year old girl who is in love with her best friend who doesn’t see her as a sexual being and then has to watch him salivate over The New Girl. No, that isn’t Jen’s fault but sometimes people on this site act like teenagers or adults for that matter don’t have messy and not-so-great emotions/reactions to things. Unless, apparently, they’re men who are rapists and serial killers, then the understanding is boundless.

9. It’s actually refreshing to hear “Mr. Leery” “Mrs. Leery” since teens in shows now just call adults by their first names, which I would NEVER do. I still can’t do that. If I had to address initiumseries’ dad it would be Mr...

10. I also think it’s funny that this dialogue is being made fun of but this kind of cadence and irony is the kind of thing shows go for now -- Riverdale tries to emulate this and I would argue Euphoria tries to do an edgier version of this. Like Nellie insulting Pacey, that kind of tone is what they’re trying to go for with Cheryl.

11. I’ll admit this is more fun than I thought it would be so far.

12. I LOVE WHAT’S EDGY FOR THE NINETIES. SHE IS IN A SUNDRESS. SETTLE DOWN.

13. “I have it on pretty good authority that mothers have excellent sex.” LOL Pacey, dick move.

14. Renting The Graduate, how on the nose.

15. THEIR CLOTHES ARE SO 90s.

16. The soundtrack pisses me off so much.

17. Oh Dawson. I knew so many self-important, I’m-so-deep-I-like-these-kinds-of-movies or -this-kind-of-music boys in high school. Like I find it so typical that he thinks his obsession with Spielberg would interest Jen.

18. Dawson taking Jen to his studio is like Klaus taking Caroline to sees his drawings.

19. Oh man, I remember being a kid and watching these teen shows with my cousin and seeing how Capeside High School was with everyone on a quad and throwing footballs and being like HIGH SCHOOL IS GOING TO BE LIKE THAT and my cousin just being like

20. I like how Dawson’s Creek is the whitest show and they still managed to have more Black extras than Gilmore Girls.

21. Dawson and Jen actually have a nice chemistry. But everyone is coming on super strong with Jen and she’s just kind of like, this seems normal.

22. The film teacher is a dick for no reason. I’ve had my fair share of dickish teachers but this is excessive right off the bat.

23. Lol poor Jen, she really is trying with Joey.

24. I like how a status of Joey’s class is the fact that her sister is engaged to a Black man *eye roll*

25. I don’t know of any school where teachers ate in the cafeteria with the students. In my school there were teachers who supervised the cafeteria but that’s it. Wow, I spent like no time in my high school cafeteria.

26. “I’m having a climax issue”

27. Tamara, Ms. Jacobs, you should be in jail.

28. I like how this school LOOKS like a school.

29. Ugh, a trans jokes. Ugh, there was so much of that in the 90s.

30. “Nothing has to change. We can talk about anything.” Honestly, from a screenwriting point of view, this is a solid pilot. I remember in a screenwriting class I took, we studied The Social Network and every 10 pages someone calls Zuckerberg either an asshole or a jerk or something in that vein as a way to reiterate a key part of the theme of the movie and while I don’t have the pilot script in front of me, DC does reiterate the theme of the season frequently without it being repetitive.

31. The dialogue isn’t as hyperbolic as I remember tbh. And I’m going to say it again, shows are aiming for this, even the one episode I saw of the Winx Saga, when they try to flirt about mansplaining, when she’s fighting with her mom about how she’s not a feminist, they’re trying for this. But DC manages to make it more natural and it’s because the Core 4 have a charm. Even if you hate Dawson.

32. Who is Dawson’s dad. Is he in something else?

33. No, I just think he looks like Dr. Cox.

34. Dawson’s rant about sex not being important is hilarious. Yes, Dawson, you’re just pursuing Jen out of intellectual and philosophical desire.

35. I like how Joey is supposed to be a tomboy just because she’s the only girl/woman in Capeside who doesn’t wear a sundress.

36. Poor Jen.

37. Joey is super dramatic, I get that, but I kind of love it because I’m going RELAX but the way I would to a teenager. Like CALM. DOWN. Also “all I do is understand” is something that we needed to see more of before that argument.

38. Dawson, you never ask anyone else any questions about themselves, lol.

39. “How can you say you were just renting a movie??” Pacey is such a fifteen year old and I do wish the show would just ... let him be one? And what I mean by that is Pacey is supposed to be the friend with the edge, the fact that he “pursues” Ms Jacobs is supposed to attest to that fact, it’s framed as taboo and yet they’re presented as being on equal footing, even the way her date moves to grab him out of his seat when the fact of the matter is, he’s a kid, and if the show didn’t actually make the Tamara/Pacey relationship a storyline and made it about another way teenagers have certain idealized perceptions of relationships or apply kid knowledge to adult situations which still makes them kids, it would’ve been interesting too.

40. Dawson is literally dressed in different shades of beige. If that doesn’t say everything you need to know about his character --- which is intentional. But like jfc man.

41. I love that they can’t say “masturbate” so she has to say “walk your dog” I LOVE THE NINETIES.

42. And you know what, after that question was asked, the sheer heartbreak on Joey’s face and the sadness in Dawson’s eyes is done really well.

43. LMAO SO ANGSTY. No one does angst like the 90s.

44. And legitimately, the ending of this pilot is great screenwriting because a change is noted, the beginning of the episode, Joey does end up staying the night, the end of the episode she leaves because they both realize it’s true that things are changing and yet Dawson answers her question about what time of day he masturbates and to who because they’re still Dawson and Joey. And that’s the way a pilot should be written.

OK. I’ve done it.

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robin-christine · 4 years ago

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The Day My Life Began

On June 27, 2018, I tried to commit suicide. This is my story.

I’m thankful that I’m here to tell it.

There was no one specific reason that caused me try to kill myself, rather it was a combination of factors; I was experiencing a major depressive episode at the time, the red flags exhibited by my fiancé who was living with me suddenly surfaced from my subconscious all at once, and I had just begun taking a new anti-depressant I had never taken before. The side effects anti-depressants are ironic; they can actually INCREASE thoughts of depression and suicide, and for the first time in almost 20 years of taking various anti-depressants, I experienced this potentially fatal side effect from the new anti-depressant I had recently begun taking.

Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on your reasoning almost three years later my memories of that day are still few, fragmented and incomplete; I can only remember bits and pieces, and I’m sure those memories didn’t occur in the correct order in reality.

I remember having a screaming match with my (ex)-fiancé, I remember him using my mental illness to insult me, and I remember taking a hammer and destroying my laptop.

I remember going up to my mother’s apartment (at the time we were living in the same building) and screaming at her, likely nothing nice or loving.

I remember emptying an entire month’s worth of medication into a big pile on my bed, swallowing pills by the handful, and then casually thinking ‘what did I just do?’. I remember contemplating vomiting up the pills and then discarding the idea.

I remember going down to the lobby and waiting outside for the ambulance.

I remember yelling at my mother, who had come downstairs and was sitting silently on a bench in the lobby staring at the floor, ignoring my repeated screams of, “What the f*ck is wrong with you? You obviously don’t care I tried to kill myself since you’re sitting there, not saying a f*cking word! You won’t even look at me!”.

I remember getting into the ambulance and talking to the paramedics, but I must have lost consciousness, because the next thing I remember was being in restraints in the ER, screaming and cursing at everyone, and

struggling frantically to break free. All I accomplished was cause severe bruising on both my wrists that took months to heal properly.

I remember overhearing one of the doctors who had helped save my life in the ER say to another doctor as they walked away from my bed, “I hate treating personality disorders. They’re the fucking worst”.

That’s all I remember about June 27, 2018 before I once again lost consciousness, and even after having my stomach pumped with charcoal, I remained that way for the following three days. It didn’t take long before I needed the help of a ventilator to breathe, and at one point the doctors weren’t sure I would make it. My mother told me that she had sat by my bed for those three days, crying silently while stroking my hair, telling me how much she loved me.

On June 30, 2018 I finally regained consciousness.

Again, almost three years later my memories of that day are still few, fragmented and incomplete; I can only remember bits and pieces, and I’m sure what I do remember isn’t in the right order.

I remember seeing my mother and sister sitting next to each other, holding each other’s hands when I opened my eyes. When they realized I was waking up, they both jumped up, my sister ran out the room to get a doctor, and my mother sat down next to me on the bed to hug me as tightly as she could and whisper how much she loved me, crying.

In what could have seconds, minutes, or hours my sister returned, accompanied by a doctor introduced as Dr. Richards, who checked my vitals and conducted the first of numerous psychiatric assessments I would undergo over the next few days.

I spent a total of seven days in the hospital, including the three days that I was unconscious. Once I regained consciousness, I was assessed physically, psychiatrically and psychologically daily during the remaining four days I was hospitalized. I had blood taken so often that the nurses ran out of veins from which they could get blood; my veins are very small, difficult to find, and collapse easily, so as a result I had numerous bruises all over my hands and arms. Combined with the bruises on my wrists I gave myself trying to free myself from the restraints when I was in the ER, they served as a reminder of what I had done for months as they slowly healed.

During those four days I was forbidden by the doctors from being alone, and had caregivers watching me 24/7. When my mother and sister would visit the caregiver would leave the room so we could talk privately, but as soon as they left, the caregiver returned. Originally I wasn’t even allowed to close the door to the bathroom in my private room, but after my first psychiatric assessment by Dr. Richards, he gave the caregivers permission to allow me to close the door, but not to lock it.

The psychiatrists who assessed me ended up re-diagnosing me almost completely; for years I had been diagnosed as Bipolar and had been prescribed medications that I didn’t need and shouldn’t have been taking. I was weaned off the majority of the medication I had been taking, and left the hospital with a prescription for only one anti-depressant I had taken before without any fatal side effects, one anti-anxiety medication, and a new diagnosis of Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDNOS). After I left the hospital, I continued working with my psychiatrist on finally properly diagnosing my mental illnesses because very often people suffer from more than one, and e many mental illnesses have overlapping symptoms, making a proper diagnosis sometimes very difficult..

After my overdose, I called off my wedding since it was one of the reasons I had tried to commit suicide. I finally acknowledged all the red flags that my fiancé had exhibited but I had subconsciously repressed; he had anger management problems, was extremely controlling and had absolutely no understanding of mental illness, even though he thought he did. He thought he knew everything. He would make comments like ‘stop exaggerating’, ‘you don’t need medication’, and my favourite, ‘it’s all in your head’. No kidding! I suffer from mental illness; where else would it be? My arm? My leg? But I’m ashamed to admit that I allowed him to treat him with ignorance and arrogance, that I allowed him to use me as a figurative mental punching bag for his anger, and that I allowed him to control my every move, much in the same way that my abusive late father had; unfortunately I’m proof that the expression “women tend to be attracted to men like their fathers” is true.

My overdose drastically changed our family dynamics. Immediately afterwards, me, my mother and my sister became closer as a family, and for the first time ever, my sister and I got along and actually had serious talks. Unfortunately, the joy that had come with my survival only lasted a few months before my depression returned, and my mother and sister

both blamed me for causing our’s mother’s anxiety to become worse, and for our mother having to move out of her apartment our building and into an “Assisted Living” apartment. My sister, my cousins both in Toronto and in Israel, and my mother’s few friends saw how depressed and anxious she had become after her had mother passed away, and how my suicide attempt had made her depression and anxiety worse.

Six months before she moved, my relatives were in town from Israel and my sister was in town from Toronto, and the three of them helped my mother visit and decide into which building to move; I was only told less than two weeks before she moved. Before my overdose, my mother was one of my best friends to whom I could talk to about absolutely anything. After my overdose, she avoided talking to me as much as she could. So although I didn’t cause my mother’s depression and anxiety, I did make them both worse for her.

I have to accept to consequences of my actions, but I didn’t expect my mother and sister to hate me as much as they do for attempting to commit suicide, for relapsing into a severe depression within a few months that from which, two years later, I’m still struggling to recover, and for causing them so much pain.

My sister eventually decided she’d had enough of my depression which manifested as anger and bitchiness, decided that she didn’t want or need me in her life, and didn’t want or need to deal with me any longer because my of anger, jealousy and resentment towards her, and blocked every possible method of communication to prevent me from contacting her.

When she had emergency gallbladder surgery a few months ago, I sent her a ‘Get Well’ card with what I thought was a nice message, but she never acknowledged receiving it. She’s made it clear that she has cut me out of her life completely, and I doubt I’ll ever see or speak to her again. I don’t know if it was easy or painful for her to cut all ties with me, but we haven’t spoken in at least 18 months.

My suicide attempt also changed my perspective about life, both positively and negatively. I finally forgave my father for what he did to me and the resulting negative psychiatric consequences he caused, 15 years after he had passed away. I believe that he, and the rest of my family and friends who have already passed helped save my life.

I started believing in G-D again; I regained my faith in a religion I felt had abandoned me years ago, but had been wrong. I should have died three times; in a car that flipped numerous times on the Trans-Canada highway into a ditch separating westbound from eastbound traffic lanes, in a grease fire in one of my apartments and by overdosing.

Obviously I’m here for a reason, and will gladly remain here until I’ve accomplished what I was put on this earth to do.

Finally at age 44, I have been properly diagnosed with numerous mental illnesses: Depression, Severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDNOS) with traits of Borderline (BPD), Avoidant (AvPD) and Narcissistic (NPD) Personality Disorders, Adjustment Disorder (AjD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Unfortunately, Personality Disorders can’t be treated with medication but they can be managed with specialized therapy. So I take medication and have done Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) which has helped tremendously.

Now I take pleasure in the smallest of things; a good cup of coffee, a sunny day, a good book, losing half a pound, having clean socks and underwear, a good movie, sleeping late, among other things.

I know that medication and therapy will never completely obliterate my illnesses, I’ll have relapses of depressive episodes and I’ll have thoughts of suicide, but I know I won’t act on them. I’ve learned to enjoy life.

I will never again attempt to commit suicide.

#mental illness #survivor #depressing post #recovery #true story #never again #encouragement #rough draft #want to talk #raiseawareness #mentally ill #mentalheathawareness #mental breakdown #mentalstrength #mental heath support

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findingbxlance · 5 years ago

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I love The Sims.

Which is why I will never stop being disappointed in TS4.

Lets do some math, and I’m going to keep this mainly between TS3 & TS4. While I did play TS2, there isn’t a lot of information readily available on what the games themselves cost at the time of release. I have some information on that, but I’m not sure if it’s 100% accurate as I was baby when they came out and my mom had to buy them for me. I’ll release it later if anyone is curious.

TS3 launched with a base game priced at $49.99, and throughout it’s lifetime accrued nine stuff packs at $19.99 each, and eleven expansion packs priced at $39.99 a pop. This comes to a total of $669.79.

TS4 launched with a base game price of $59.99 (that price soon dropped to $49.99 because the backlash was immediate), and introduced the new game pack. In total (as of 4/15/2020), TS4 has sixteen stuff packs at $9.99 each, eight expansion packs at $39.99, and eight game packs at $19.99. That comes to a total of $699.67.

That’s not a huge price difference. All in all, it’s about $30 if you want to get the whole, complete collection, so why do I dislike TS4 so vehemently?

Quality.

Let’s compare a few expansion packs just to get a feel for what the difference is.

TS3 launched the “Late Night” expansion at $39.99, and it included:

A new world (Bridgeport) with 82 lots

Fame & reputation systems

Bars & night clubs

Apartments with penthouse suites

Subways

Elevators

Breast & muscle sliders in CAS*

Zodiac signs

A fountain tool*

Height adjustment for wall objects

Groups & bands

Butlers

Vampires!

The mixology skill

2 new traits (shy & star quality)

TS4 launched the “Get Famous” expansion at $39.99, and it included:

A new world (Del Sol Valley) with 11 lots

Fame & reputation systems

Active acting career

Multiple ways to become famous

Music, video station, etc.

And that’s about it.

Now I’ll be the first person to admit that TS3 wasn’t perfect. Although it was a very full game, it struggled in areas of performance. With such large, open worlds, and detailed customization systems, it was pretty buggy for a lot of people, but we’ll talk on that more later.

But what I want to focus on is the disparity between these two packs, as they’re supposed to be mirrors of one another. “Get Famous” is the TS4 version of “Late Night”, so where did all the stuff go?

Well, EA broke it into 3 packs.

To get the full experience of “Late Night” in TS4, or at least something similar, you would need to purchase, “Get Famous”, “City Living”, and “Vampires”. That’s 2 expansion packs, and 1 game pack. So, to replicate the experience of “Late Night” you would need to spend $99.97.

That’s almost $100.

So, for an experience we paid $39.99 previously in the last installment, we’re now being asked to pay $100 for.

Is that fair?

Lets do another expansion pack comparison:

TS3 launched “Ambitions” at $39.99, and it included:

A new world (Twinbrook) with 82 lots

5 new active jobs that take you all around the world your sims inhabit

Firefighter, investigator, ghost hunter, stylist, and architectural designer

Self-employment

Sculptors, inventors, painters, writers, gardeners, and so on can all profit from at home work

Laundry

Tattooing career

New traits (eco-friendly, good observer, weirdo, etc.)

Consignment stores

Inventing

Sculpting

TS4 launched “Get to Work” at $39.99, and it included:

A new world (Magnolia Promenade) with 4 lots

3 new active jobs that take place in one location

Detective, doctor, scientist

Baking & photography skills

Retail lots

Illnesses for sims

Aliens

There’s definitely more crossover here, but “Get to Work” still falls short. $39.99 for a full game and all we get is a world with 4 lots? Even in TS2 “Open for Business” we had more to do.

And, that isn’t to mention the fact that “Get to Work” launched separately from the TS4 “Laundry Day Stuff” pack. So, to get a similar experience to TS3′s “Ambitions” you would need to purchase both “Get to Work” and “Laundry Day Stuff” at a total of $49.98.

One more comparison for good measure.

TS3 launched “Island Paradise” at $39.99, and it included:

A new world (Isla Paradiso) with 118 lots, the most of ANY TS3 expansion

Houseboats that can move anywhere around the island

Resorts that you can either visit, or own, manage & edit

New transportation modes

Boating, skiing, and windsurfing

3 new careers

Lifeguard, resort manager, scuba diver

Diving into fully realized underwater scenes

Sims could also catch fish, explore underwater caves & find sunken treasure

Shark & kraken attacks

Mermaids!

Missions to discover and unlock new islands

Blueprint templates*

TS4 launched “Island Living” at $39.99, and it included:

A new world (Sulani) with 11 lots

Docks & new foundation types

4 new careers

Conservationist, diving, fishing, and lifeguard

Mermaids!

Boats

Missions to clean up the island

2 new traits

In the case of “Island Paradise” vs. “Island Living” there are a quite a few similarities, but the disparity remains. Thankfully, this time around EA didn’t break “Island Living” into multiple packs, but imagine if in a few months we get a resort style pack? Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past EA.

In these pack comparisons, I hope I’ve highlighted some of the issues between what should have been pretty similar packs.

And, to clarify, I’m not saying that EA should have just copy pasted TS3 packs into the TS4 style, but for the amount of money they’re asking, the quality should remain the same. There should be a similar amount of features between each pack, but there isn’t.

With each expansion, it feels like EA is spending less and less time working on the unique gameplay features, and pouring more time into the general aesthetics of the packs. So, while TS4 is the prettiest of all The Sims titles, it’s also the emptiest.

Despite the shiny veneer of a good game with solid graphics, TS4 ultimately lacks depth. It doesn’t feel like a game, but rather a character creator. I spend more time building sims and their homes than I do actually playing out their lives.

All in all, I find that the “life simulation” part of TS4 is severely lacking. It mostly comes down to the little things, which is exemplified whenever I go back and replay TS2. Sims would cuddle their partner in their sleep, burglars were a real and present danger, raccoons would topple your trash can at any given chance, and friends would call all the time to ask if you wanted to go downtown.

It’s been 6 years since TS4 came out, and, from what the dev’s have said, they aren’t planning on pushing out TS5 anytime soon, but let’s dream a little bit about what could be.

In my perfect game, TS5 would include aspects of TS3 and TS2. The open worlds were great, but not many people’s computers were beefy enough to run them. The one thing I will applaud about TS4, is that its made with everyone in mind. We can’t all afford big, gaming computers, a lot of simmers play on their laptops, and we should all be able to play regardless of what type of machine we’re working with.

So, instead of fully open works with 90+ lots, I would like to see open neighborhoods. If we take the open concept of TS3, and combine it with the neighborhood style of TS4, we’d get an open world of about 15-20 lots. That’s nowhere near as big as TS3, but would allow for more fun neighbor interactions, and remove the constant load screens.

I’d also like to see a return of the color wheel. This is also a point of contention, where I understand that excessive customization really dragged down TS3 and made it unplayable for a lot of people. So instead of full customization, relegate it to just colors (instead of different materials like fabric, metal, wood, etc.,) and just CAS.

I think a lot of what gummed up TS4 was the fact that you could customize everything. Hair color, eye color, makeup, clothes, accessories, wallpaper, paint, tiles, flooring, chairs, sofas, decorations, and on and on. Restricting it just to CAS, and in a simple color wheel would give us so much more freedom.

A color wheel in CAS would also solve EA’s issue of diversity. While they’ve given us the ability to create trans and nonbinary sims (which is fantastic!), they’ve been really slow on any progress when it comes to skin tones. A color wheel would allow us to create sims of all colors, and give power to the players to create more realistic and diverse representations of their lives as sims.

The last thing I would really love to see is a return to the little details. Give us more randomness. Genies, walking skeletons, ruins we can explore that aren’t just rabbit holes, more active careers, more opportunities. Don’t be afraid to give us the weird things, we love the weird things! But don’t forget about the little things. Sims sitting in the grass together and chatting, sims leaving flowers at your door after a really great date, sims scooting together to cuddle while watching a movie together on the couch.

Overall, TS5 should just include more more, if that makes sense.

Leave your comments & thoughts below! I’d love to talk to ya’ll about this, its really been brewing for awhile.

*Features included in TS4 base game.

#the sims #ts4 #sims #sims 4 #simblr

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gleepotluckbigbang · 5 years ago

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Coffee Shop Writing Prompts by @veronicabunchwrites

To start you guys off, a prompt list by @veronicabunchwrites. Veronica is no longer on Tumblr, only on Pillowfort, so I can’t reblog, only repost, sorry about that. The original post can be found here.

100 coffee shop au writing prompts!

there’s something about people meeting and falling in love over hot drinks that presents such a cozy atmosphere. it’s no wonder that it’s a favourite. some of these prompts are classic because who can resist the tried and true?

01. clearly you’re going through a bad breakup because this playlist is the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard and I’m begging you please change it 02. you’re my favourite employee because you always have my order ready on the days I’m running late to the office 03. I order the same thing as my boss in case something happens to their coffee and one day, you write your number on the cup I give to my boss 04. my friend swears that you can pick the perfect drink for anyone but I’m skeptical because there’s no way you can look at someone and just know their order - and of course, you nail my drink 05. I run the shop beside your bookstore and I’m trying to convince you that it could be beneficial to knock down the wall between our shops and you’re being a big pain in the ass about it 06. I hired you to make drinks not flirt with every customer that walks in and how dare you accuse me of jealousy, get back to work 07. you were a dick to my coworker so I’ve been writing insults on your cups and why the hell do you keep coming back here anyway?

08. I know you’re about to close and I swear I’ll give you a $20 tip, can you please just take my order? I’ve had the worst day possible 09. a $20 tip isn’t worth me staying open late, but then you burst into tears and I end up asking you if you want to hang around to talk 10. you’re the night manager who runs open mic nights and I’m the baker who starts at 3am so sometimes our paths cross and I like talking to you 11. you never order the same thing more than once and just as you’re about to get to the end of the menu, I start adding new things because I’m afraid you’ll stop coming in 12. I’ve been writing lame jokes on your cups because you’re the grumpiest person ever and you finally crack a smile 13. you always get my order wrong and I’m pretty sure you’re doing it on purpose just so you get a free drink out of it because employees have a crap discount 14. I’ve been working on this essay/project/article/etc. for the last ten hours and I’ve barely moved so you come over to give me something to eat and ask if I’m okay 15. I’m dragged to open mic night by my best friend, and while I’m ordering my drink, your voice fills the room and I’m mesmerized 16. there’s a poetry slam and while I’ve never gone on stage, I’m obsessed with your stuff 17. you were rude so I insult you and you just left a $50 tip??? who the fuck do you think you are? 18. I decided to use my personal (and massive) mug collection when I opened my shop and you start hanging around just to see which mug you’ll get 19. I open a cat cafe with a separate room for the cats that are all available to adopt, and you keep coming in to sit with them even though you’re allergic 20. I haven’t seen you in years but you just walked into my coffee shop and by your snooty attitude, you don’t seem to know that I own the place 21. I really don’t care that you’re a famous celebrity, you will stand in line just like everyone else and that’s that 22. this shop is really busy but I need their wifi, so could we share this table? 23. we’re working on our school project in this cafe and I’m pretty sure my group just figured out that I have a crush on you 24. I have a job interview and you're the clumsy employee who just spilled hot coffee all down my white shirt 25. I’m on the worst blind/Tinder/Grindr date and you ‘accidentally’ dump a drink on my date to save me 26. you’re a big city person visiting my tiny coffee shop in a small town and you’re so rude when you ask if we have cappuccinos that I lie and say no 27. I just bumped into my ex so I slip my arm in yours to pretend you’re my current partner even though you were just standing in line behind me 28. my umbrella broke and I just stepped into your shop soaking wet and you run upstairs to get me some towels from your apartment and I’m sorry I’m crying but this is the nicest thing that’s happened to me all week 29. my AC isn’t working at my apartment so I’ve been spending most of my spare time here and using your wifi and I think you’re flirting with me 30. I’ve been hanging out more because I sit at the counter to watch two baristas flirt (OT3 bonus!) / and you join me so we make a bet on when they’ll get together 31. I named my coffee shop Coffee Shop and you’re the customer who loudly talks about how stupid the name is 32. I’ve been sitting in the break room wondering how to ask you out on a date when you come in and announce you were just asked out by a customer (bonus if OT3!) 33. you’re a famous celebrity who ducks in to my quiet shop and asks if you can hide, and I mean, sure, but are you going to order something? I have to make a living here, dude 34. I know you own this place but dude, this song has been on repeat for the last hour and I will pay you to change it 35. I’m really nervous as I’m meeting a family member for the very first time and you’re the kind employee who sits with me to help calm my nerves 36. you’re staring at me and I don’t know why until you tell me I’ve been singing along to my music and I’m mortified because I didn’t realize 37. I saw your Help Needed sign in the window and you look busy so where are the aprons and how can I help? 38. every day I write a quote on a chalkboard on the wall and apparently you’re the author I just quoted but you’ve never shown your face in public before so why are you telling me? 39. someone left a note in the suggestions box that the barista is the cutest person they’ve seen and I’m laughing as my coworkers discuss who it could be when you quietly admit it’s about me 40. you just cut in front of me in line and I’m not in the mood to let it slide 41. I noticed you were on ao3 reading smut and when you go up to get something else to drink from the counter, I realize you’re reading the fic I posted twenty minutes ago 42. your dog and my dog just tangled their leashes outside the coffee shop and now they won’t leave each other’s sides, so do you want to join me at this table? 43. I know it’s not my place but your teenager seems to be mixed up in a bad crowd and I thought you should know they’re hiding in the bathroom crying right now 44. your father comes in weekly at the exact same time and orders the exact same two drinks because that’s what he used to do with your mother and you come looking for him 45. I really need you to put up this flyer on the community board but you’re sort of being a prick about it 46. you hire my band to come place on a weekly basis but the more time I spend with you the more time I want to kiss you 47. you’re my ex who I’ve never really gotten over and you just surprised me by paying for my coffee and I’m not prepared to see you 48. my coworker wrote my cell phone number on your cup when I wasn’t paying attention and now you’re texting me 49. after overhearing you order the eccentric coffee shop owner’s drink of the week, I warn you that it never tastes good (bonus if you convince me it’s great this week so I sip and suffer with you) 50. the last clue to my partner’s scavenger hunt is supposed to be here, and while I’m looking for it, I discover that you’re my partner’s friend who set the whole thing up (bonus: ot3) 51. I sold my business for millions when I was in high school and tried to disappear from the spotlight but I’ve just been spotted drinking your coffee and feel bad since you’re overwhelmed with the sudden influx of new customers 52. I overhear you talking to your friend about how you’re planning on meeting up with your ex and I can’t stop myself from butting in because that’s a bad mistake 53. I’m hosting a food-eating contest to raise money for charity at my shop and you seem to have an endless stomach that makes me a little concerned 54. I catch you in the act of placing your newspaper over a customer’s cell phone/wallet/etc. and then stealing it when they deny you money 55. you walk into my coffee just before close looking like a runaway bride/groom/princess/prince/royalty so I stick around to keep you company 56. meeting at the coffee shop feels like fate, but now we’re sitting here because I’m terrified to tell you my big secret 57. you’re a grumpy customer who doesn’t talk but you always have the most fun tie/socks/dresses/sweaters/etc. and I look forward to see what you wear next 58. I’ve been obsessed with your homemade soups and I always rave about them to the cashier but I didn’t realize you also make them until you surprise me with a new recipe 59. I rent out your shop for the evening to propose to my significant other and they dump me on the spot 60. I run a baking class one night a week after hours at my shop and you keep coming back despite being the worst baker ever 61. you left me a bad review so I’m tracking you down to yell at you and demand a retraction 62. you’re the contractor I’ve hired to build individual bathrooms so I can offer genderless options for people (bonus if contractor is trans/nb/gender queer) 63. I host a board game night every Friday and you always come in with your best friend and ask me to teach you a new game and I cannot believe you’ve never played Life before (or: insert own game) 64. I’ve been getting really creative with my foam art and I do some naughty-bits to amuse my coworker on their drink when you mistakenly take it and think I’m hitting on you 65. I’m wiping down a table when I notice that you left a cell phone number on the back of your receipt for your lunch and I ask my coworker if I should text you (bonus if ot3) 66. every time you come into my shop, I swear you have a new sticker on your laptop and I desperately want to ask about this one 67. you come in to steal the shop’s wifi for video calls with your mom/dad/family member and when they see me in the background, they think I’m your new partner 68. I really suck at my job but I desperately need the money and when I get fired for spilling your coffee all over you, you offer me a job because you feel bad 69. we’re coworkers who make out in the supplies closet and get caught by another coworker (bonus if ot3!) 70. someone enters my hot chocolate into a contest for the National Best Hot Chocolate and you’re the hot judge who gets snowed in town for a few days 71. you join me at my table thinking I’m your blind date and you don’t stop talking about how nervous you are for this date so I don’t get a chance to tell you that you have the wrong person when your actual date comes up and thinks you were hitting on me while waiting for them 72. I watch you pull out a flask and add alcohol to your drink and then you wink at me 73. I’m playing a game on my computer but I keep failing at the level so you tap my shoulder and tell me how to beat it (and we spend the rest of the afternoon in the coffee shop bonding) 74. I've been assigned a fluff article about the different types of people who spend their days at coffee shops but I can’t seem to figure out why you’re here (articles: x, x, x) 75. I found you curled up under a blanket asleep at my front door so won’t you come in, I’ll get you some food and give you a job 76. you’re my favourite actor in my favourite TV show but by the sounds of that phone call, you seem to be having a rough day so instead of flailing, I offer you some words of support 77. I don’t know how to spell anyone’s names correctly so I spell them phonetically and you always mumble your name so I just make up something 78. I bump into you and knock your coffee out of your hands and you look like someone just died because you’re having the worst week ever and can I make it up to you? 79. we met online and you suggest this place for our first date and I’m terrified you’ve catfished me or you’re going to stand me up 80. when people hit on me and ask for my number, I usually make up a number to put on their cups, and today I just happened to write your number on your cup so you call me out 81. you’re my significant other’s ex and you’ve invited me to coffee to tell me that I can do better and our connection is immediate 82. I’m in the middle of a rant about this book I’m reading and oh my god you’re the author in line behind me and I’m sorry, not sorry 83. you take a selfie and I photobomb you, but you don’t notice until the entire photo goes viral so we agree to meet back at this coffee shop 84. I’m sorry for laughing at you walking into the glass door/window, please let me help you up 85. I’m a little concerned that you might be too addicted to coffee since you always come down from your office to my little shop to get your fix multiple times a day but my coworkers think you have a crush on me 86. I’m expecting an important phone call but my phone is about to die and please, please let me borrow yours 87. I know your sign says ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service’ but can I please give you a really long explanation as to what has led to me desperately needing coffee without a shirt or shoes 88. I’m a witch barista and I charm your drink so that you have a better day 89. I’ve been trying to borrow this particular book that the local/college library only has one copy of and I just realized you’re reading it at this coffee shop and goddammit, why haven’t you finished with it yet? 90. some asshole just stole your purse/backpack without you noticing so I instinctively jump into action and chase him down the street to get it back for you 91. you’ve cut in front of me in line for the last three days by shooting me a charming smile and leaving me a little dumbfounded but today, that will not fly 92. I keep making work-related puns and you’re the grumpy coworker who refuses to find me charming 93. you sit down at my table and quietly tell me to pretend we’re talking because you’re trying not to be seen by someone and I’m so confused as to what is going on but you’re cute so I’ll roll with it 94. you order the same obscure drink from the app but I always miss you picking up your drink from the counter and today, I’m going to finally watch to see who you are 95. I don’t know who you think you are, but you really can’t make this shop your office unless you’re going to order more than one tea for the eight hours you stay here 96. you read tea leaves as a hobby so I always bring my cups to you when I’m finished 97. you look like you’re having a bad day so I get some icing and draw a smiley face on your cookie 98. I overheard you talking about how you wish my shop had board games so the next time you come in, I watch your reaction to my new shelf of board games 99. you’re the very kind employee who brings me my favourite tea when you witness my public (and loud) breakup 100. this coffee shop is owned and run by queer people and is so very gay with our decor and the names of our menu items, and I’m pretty sure you’re not as straight you think you are because you keep coming in and asking a thousand questions 101. you dropped to your knee to tie your shoe but suddenly, people are congratulating us on getting engaged and we just scored free coffee so we roll with it 102. I’m wistfully watching a couple when you come up to the counter to order something and get frustrated with my daydreaming

#gpbb #gpbb prompt #coffee shop au #gpbb prompt: coffee shop au #trope of the day

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scriptatur · 5 years ago

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Scriptatur’s TSB Masterpost

Okay, so... I did the thing. It worked way better than I expected, so thanks to everyone who read my story and cheered on me!

This is my bingo card. I did all 25 fills in one story, which means that I’m gonna link the chapters underneath the cut and the whole story here :)

Also the whole story is very much #everyone is poly because avengers. It’s a wild mix of pepperony, stony, winteriron, stucky, eventual stuckony and some iron husbands in between. It’s also very fluffy and nothing hurts (mostly). Basically, it’s what I needed after watching Endgame.

Oh also I don’t think I got my bingo badge yet? Or the blackout one ^^

Summary:

"Waking was- surprising. He woke up slowly, like drifting through mist or sirup or- something. He was kind of confused, if he is being perfectly honest. Confused about his own metaphor, a bit, but mainly confused by the fact that he was, well, waking up. That was not something he’d expected to do, after all."

When Tony Stark wakes up after the final battle against Thanos, he decides that there will be nothing more that stands between himself and happiness. He goes home with Pepper and Morgan and it doesn't take long for Steve and Bucky (and other (ex-)avengers) to follow. Basically, this is the fix-it that I needed. It's very self indulgent and mostly fluff.

Title: Chapter 1 Square: R1 Reunion Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Rhodey, Tony and Morgan Summary: Tony wakes up after the last battle against Thanos. It’s not what he expected. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 2 Square: K3 It wasn’t worth it Warning: none Pairing: pre-Stony Summary: Steve apologizes. It all works out pretty well. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 3 Square: K4 Laughter Warning: none Pairing: Pepperony, Tony and Morgan Summary: Pepper is here. And Morgan demands attention. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 4 Square: R4 Tony/ Rhodey/ Pepper Warning: none Pairing: Tony/ Rhodey/ Pepper Summary: Tony is finally allowed to go home. Pepper and Rhodey are with him. Here will be kissing. Link: AO3

Chapter 5 is not a bingo chapter. Steve comes to say goodbye before bringing the stones back. He stays for dinner.

Title: Chapter 6 Square: T5 Dancing Warning: none Pairing: Stony Summary: Steve comes to visit Tony. There’s more kissing. Polyamory negotiations are important. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 7 Square: R5 Music Warning: none Pairing: Stony Summary: Steve insists on taking Tony on a date. Tony wishes the evening would never end. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 8 Square: S1 Dark Warning: none (well, slight angst, but only a tiny little bit.) Pairing: Stony, Pepperony Summary: Steve has to leave. Tony is sad. Pepper comes back and makes it better. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 9 Square: T2 AU: Reincarnation Warning: none Pairing: Stony, Pepperony, Pepper/Natasha Summary: Steve comes back. With Natasha. Sam and Bucky are on babysitting duty. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 10 Square: T3 Hot water Warning: none Pairing: Stony Summary: Tony helps Steve with his injuries. It’s all very fluffy. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 11 Square: A1 Apology Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Bucky Summary: Sam, Bucky and Morgan are baking cupcakes. Bucky apologizes and there’s hugging. Link: AO3

Chapter 12 is not a bingo chapter. It’s mostly fluff and Steve being insecure.

Chapter 13 is not a bingo chapter. Tony is surrounded by a bunch of idiots (but he loves them very much). Also, there’s a phone call.

Chapter 14 is not a bingo chapter. Clint comes to see Natasha. Steve is very much in love with Tony.

Title: Chapter 15 Square: S4 New team Warning: none Pairing: Stony, Pepperony, Pepper/Natasha, (not really) unrequited Stucky Summary: There’s a new normal. Tony and Steve talk about Bucky. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 16 Square: T1 Bucky Barnes/ Winter Soldier Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Bucky, pre-Winteriron Summary: Tony starts paying more attention to Bucky. They talk. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 17 Square: T4 Picture of Tony standing in front of the cave Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Bucky, pre-Winteriron Summary: Tony takes a look at Bucky’s arm. They talk about Siberia und Afghanistan. Link: AO3

Chapter 18 is not a bingo chapter. Tony takes Bucky to bed and there’s cuddling.

Title: Chapter 19 Square: A5 Wolf Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Bucky, pre-Winteriron Summary: Tony helps Bucky realizing that he can to whatever he wants. No more fighting. Link: AO3

Chapter 20 is not a bingo chapter. Tony, Steve and Bucky have the relationship talk. It doesn’t go as expected.

Title: Chapter 21 Square: K1 Asexuality Warning: none Pairing: Stuckony Summary: So, Bucky might be ace. There’s cuddling. Link: AO3

Chapter 22 is not a bingo chapter. It’s mostly fluff and cuddling (with Morgan this time).

Title: Chapter 23 Square: A2 Phobia Warning: none Pairing: Stuckony, Tony and Morgan Summary: Tony, Bucky, Steve and Morgan enjoy a day at the lake. Tony still doesn’t like swimming. It’s fine, Steve loves it. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 24 Square: R2 Sharing clothes Warning: none Pairing: Stuckony Summary: They’re all wet after their day at the lake. Steve loves seeing his boyfriends in his clothes. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 25 Square: S3 Accidental villainy Warning: none Pairing: Stuckony, Clint and Bucky Summary: Tony asks Clint to talk to Bucky. It helps. Link: AO3

Chapter 26 is not a bingo chapter. Tony realizes that he misses Peter. He calls Happy. Morgan is the best moral support one could ask for.

Title: Chapter 27 Square: S5 Iron Dad Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Peter Summary: Tony calls Peter. Link: AO3

Chapter 28 is not a bingo chapter. Peter comes to visit. There will be cookies and cuddles.

Title: Chapter 28 Square: A3 Free Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Peter Summary: Peter comes out as trans. He’s very nervous and Tony is definitely in dad mode. Link: AO3

Chapter 30 is not a bingo chapter. Tony and Peter talk about being Spiderman while being trans. They think about ways to improve the suit.

Title: Chapter 31 Square: R3 Picture on Tony in his workshop Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Peter Summary: They work on Peter’s new suit. Then there are more guests. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 32 Square: S2 AU: Cyberpunk Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Nebula, Peter and Nebula, Iron Husbands, Tony/ Rhodey/ Pepper Summary: Peter tries to explain to Nebula what a cyborg is. Tony’s mostly just happy to see her and Rhodey. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 33 Square: K3 Friday Warning: none Pairing: Tony and Nebula, Tony and Friday Summary: Tony and Nebula talk. Nebula has a new dad now. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 34 Square: K5 Zombie Warning: none Pairing: Nebula and Peter and Morgan, Tony/ everyone Summary: The kids play games. The adults cuddle. Link: AO3

Title: Chapter 35 Square: A4 Cinderella Story Warning: none Pairing: Tony/ everyone Summary: They watch Cinderella. Peter has some interesting thoughts about the movies. It’s all very fluffy and sweet. Link: AO3

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winstonhcomedy · 5 years ago

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“Dope A-F” - 8/29 - 9/16 - “Headlining in Roanoke/Fairfax, and a 9/11 show ”

Well I am officially tired of doing this blog. I am fatigued. Keeping up with my new schedule is almost impossible. Three blog posts a week coupled with new videos, new material, shows, and my day job is proving to be too much. So I am going to do this blog until I am not going to do it. It has been almost a year since I started keeping track and I think I have grown so much as a comedian since then, but it is just becoming super hard.

So without further ado let’s hop right into it and check out what’s been going on the last few weeks with #cutecomedy. Come on LAYDEES!

8/29

I headed up to Roanoke to close out a show at Blue 5. Chaz Blevins was putting on the show and he had a pretty solid lineup. Johnny Camacho was hosting, and the openers were Chaz, this dude Zack White, and Melissa Douty. So I knew I was going to have to bring my A game.

I got up there a little early to set up my camera. The room is amazing. It is downstairs at the restaurant. It is like a cool tucked away speakeasy. After setting up my camera I went upstairs to grab a bite to eat. I had some egg rolls stuffed with bar b q and Mac and cheese. It was delicious.

When I went back downstairs people had really started to fill in the show. It was going to be a super fun night. We started about 15 minutes late to give people a chance to get seated and get drinks. Then Johnny got on with it.

Johnny had a solid set warming up the crowd. He got some pretty big laughs, and had the audience as ease before he brought up Chaz. Chaz then did well. The crowd was super supportive, and he basically started his set shitting on Johnny which was funny. Then I told Johnny I was waiting for the callback shitting on him. Then 5 minutes later Chaz did it and Johnny and I busted up laughing. He went on to have a solid set.

Then Zack White went up. I had never seen this dude before and he was definitely funny. He was definitely alt and weird, but it really worked with this crowd. He threw a baseball into the audience and then faked an injury and laid on the ground.

Then Melissa Douty went up and she absolutely destroyed. I mean tore the roof off of the place. Everybody loved her. She did about 20 and it laugh after laugh. She was going to be incredibly hard to follow. She is from the area, and definitely was able to relate to the audience and get them on board. So after she slaughters it is my turn.

I go up and realize I know have to reset the room. So I use the first 5 minutes of my set to kind of ease people into what they are about to see. I do some crowd work, and try to get them on my wave length. This starts to go well and I am building up momentum.

I talk to a few audience members and get some pretty big reactions. I then weave in some material and it is killing even harder. I think talk to a few more audience members including a girl I found out later was Chaz’ daughter. I was really having a lot of fun. I was only supposed to do 30 but I went well over that. I was able to do a bunch of new at the end and get a good response and actually work some stuff out which felt nice. I’d totally give this set an A-. I felt good being able to follow Melissa after how hard she killed.

After the show I talked to a few people and then went over to a bar to hang with Johnny, and a few others. After hanging I hopped into my car and headed home.

8/30

The next night we had The After Show. Which is our political comedy roundtable show. This time Chris wanted to focus this one on sexuality. So I booked Jason Kusterer (White Cis/Het comic), Katherine Malone (black trans female comic) , Samantha Padgett (white female trans comic), and Sammy Major (black/gay/Non-binary) to be on the show.

I got to the show early and tried to set everything up. I put the furniture on the stage with Kat. I then ordered a grilled cheese, and set up my camera. I had a really fun time catching up with Kat. I hadn’t seen her in a super long time.

Then Samantha showed up. We all went to the green room and got situated. We tried not to talk about the topics for the show too much, but we did come up with some interesting things to cover in the show.

Then everyone else showed up. It was a good hang going on. We didn’t have a huge crowd. Honestly it was one of our lighter attended shows. I’d say there was about 25 to 30 people there. I also took a few polaroid “Eddie Pooks” pictures that turned out great.

After about another 20 minute wait we started the show. I went out there and brought everyone else out. Then we went right into it.

I am always torn because of this show. I think it is important and interesting, but it isn’t always the funniest show. The audience is tight because these are hot button issues, but when you do get a laugh it feels so damn amazing. I had some pretty good lines, and really it was kind of an amazing show. I think we learned a lot, and laughed quite a bit, but I don’t always feel good during or after this show. This is one of those shows where I need people to tell me it was good. I’d give this one a C. Good jokes, great subject matter, but not a ton of laughs.

After the show I hung out with some friends and caught up. Got a few drinks and then went to Waffle House. Where I met a drunk rapper who was surprised to find out I was a comedian. He kept trying to brag and put me down. He was like if you're a comedian why aren’t you at The FunnyBone. It felt so good to be like I am there in two weeks. He was wasted. After this I headed home and got a good night’s sleep.

9/1

I headed up to Fairfax with Paige the next day. I had asked Taylor O’Sullivan to come do a guest spot, but he didn’t respond in time. Paige and I listened to a horrific true crime podcast, and just talked about comedy. I had also asked my buddy Dom Grayer to drop by and do a spot on the show, and I extended a guest spot to a Pittsburgh Comic named Joe Esch.

John Coulter had booked me to headline his room at Blue Iguana. I had asked for the night even though we were going to have a poor attendance due to the holiday.

We get there and we get a nice hang going. There is only like 8 or 9 people there, but honestly I am just excited to do around 30 minutes. I love longer sets. I set the lineup after I find out Joe and Dom can’t stay after their sets. So I set it up as a piggyback show with Joe, Dom, Paige, and then I'd close out. I also tell them to work a little cleaner up top. The only reason I said this was at the behest of Coulter. He said it is a little older crowd, and they're conservative (not in their politics, but just keep it cleaner).

Joe said he could do it, and then he went up and didn’t work clean. It was some pretty sexual material, and honestly it didn’t seem like he wanted to be doing the show. This might just be his energy, but legit it was like why did I give this dude a spot? I get it. It’s not a huge crowd, but I offered you time because you were looking for time. He did fine, but John made me light him early just due to the subject matter. He then brought up Dom Grayer to the wrong name, and I legit was like well shit.

Dom went up and cracked them though. He had some solid pops, and he had a good set. He was followed by Paige who did well as well. Nobody did terribly. It was just a light show.

Then it was my turn. I went up and did a lot of crowd work up top. I’d say 10 minutes or so before going into my material. It was all working really well. I was able to connect with these people and understand that even though there was only a few of them they wanted to laugh. I got everyone involved and a few more people walked in.

All of my stuff was working. The jokes, and the crowd work was dope. I tried a few new things, and then got off stage. After this Coulter asked me to do an encore because 6 other people had just walked in at the end of my set. So the audience cheered and I went up and did 25 more minutes of crowd work, and new jokes. This was awesome I got some huge pops, and I got them sit in the front row. it was truly a special night. I’d give this set an A-.

After this Paige and I headed back to RVA. I hit up Taylor again and he met us at Denny’s for a late night meal. Then we all headed our separate ways.

9/4

After a few days off there was a new mic in town. I went over to Isley Brewing to do their mic after work. I got a beer and did some writing before the mic. It was a fun night because I got to see and hang with a bunch of my friends. Buhe was hosting, and we had Paige, Taylor, Adam Chiodini, David Luzader, Samantha Padgett, Jake Snyder, Carlton K, and a bunch I know I am forgetting.

Buhse shows up and gets the list ready. He tells me I am up first. There is an ok crowd, but the setup is weird. It is really bright in there because it starts at 7 and it definitely seemed like these people were surprised comedy was happening.

After his set he brought me up and I think I did as well as I could have. I had a lot of new stuff, and it all did pretty well. I tried one thing for the very first time and I am so happy that it worked. I wasn’t killing and I stumbled in a few spots. There was a giant Jenga game on stage so after every joke that bombed I’d take a brick out and drop it on the floor. This got a couple laughs, but I mostly did it for me. I give this set a C.

I watched a few more sets and then Paige and I headed over to Home Sweet Home. I got some writing done, and ordered a delicious dinner. I got to see some other friends like Patrick Nowaczyk, Taylor Baldwin, and Jason Kusterer. Jason had me going up like 5th which I was excited about.

There actually was a tiny little crowd there. The best part was they were into the show. They were having a fun time. After a few comics did ok it was my turn. Kusterer gave me a funny intro and I just tried a bunch of new stuff. I did some of the earlier stuff, but changed the inflection and tried adding some tags. it worked ok. I enjoyed my set. I’d give it a C+.

I went downstairs and talked to my friends a little bit more, including Beswick. It was a dope night. I then packed up, said goodbye, and headed home.

9/6

On Friday I had a spot on Wabi Sabi. I hit up a few people to ride with my but only Taylor could go. We headed up and had a good time. He was actually able to grab a guest spot.

The lineup was going to be Klingman, Liz Carr, Taylor, Torrey, me, Luray and then Wingle. It was supposed to be a packed show. So we knew it was going to be fun.

The show starts, and they're a rowdy crowd. Klingman has a pretty good set. So does Liz. Taylor only did about 90 seconds he had freaked himself out so much, but he didn’t bomb. Then Torrey had a pretty hot one. By the time he got off stage the audience was wasted. They were loud, and wanted to interrupt the show.

I go up and legit don’t get a single joke out. I am in a battle with the audience for 15 minutes. I am battling drunks and hecklers. I am shitting all over them and being mean. It is killing. The audience loves it. Which is frustrating to me. This goes on and I get some huge laughs, but I am not having fun. I was glad I overcame the adversity, but hated that I had to. I'd give this set an A-.

Then Luray and Wingle went up. I didn’t watch their sets because I was so freaking upset about mine. I got to decompress and then I got ready for ‘Sex With Me Is Like”.

We all got back on stage after (except for Liz and Luray who didn’t want to). Jaye Toler got on stage, but hadn’t done a set earlier. it was a super fun game this time. I had some huge laughs and only one joke didn’t work. Every time they said something about me I had something about them. I got Taylor involved and I had the last joke. I made fun of Jaye and it destroyed.

After the show I drove Taylor back and then headed home to pass out.

9/7

The next night I was one of the headliners on Castleburg. I had been ‘banned” the previous month by Mike Engle because I had bailed on it the previous two to do paid gigs. Which wasn’t a big deal at all, and made sense. I was so excited to be tasked with being a part of the two year anniversary show.

Mu Cuzzo and I were the headliners. I had invited a few coworkers and told myself I was only going to do new stuff. There was a pretty good sized list of comics.

I was stoked to see my coworkers, and super stoked to see some comic friends to hang with like Mike, Anthony, Adam Chiodini, Jack Parker, Ben Oliver, Heather Joyce, Danny Dunlea, Jake Snyder and plenty others I am sure I am forgetting. I set up my video camera and told people if they wanted their sets I could get them for them. I had a few people take me up on the offer.

I love the bartenders here. They are so nice, and so much fun to talk to. They look forward to and enjoy the show. Definitely a dope venue with killer staff, and good beer.

There was a pretty good crowd, and since I knew I wanted to have the freedom to do new stuff I asked to be the first headliner to go up. I knew that Mu would be doing his best stuff, and really bringing it so even if my new stuff failed at least he could pick up the slack and it wouldn’t be a shit show.

The crowd was pretty good. They were into it from the beginning of the show. Mike had a good set and so did the comics in the first round. The winner of that was Heather Joyce. Then it was my turn to go up,

I had a dope set. Almost all of my new stuff worked. I was able to work on wording, and got some solid laughs. I was super happy to do 12 of my 15 minute set as new. It feels like I am progressing and becoming a better comic. I didn’t murder, but I had some jokes get really good pops, and I felt like I broke the crowd open a bit. I'd give this set a B.

The rest of the show went well. Mu had a really good set. His material was clicking and he used his energy to his advantage. It was cool to see him pull that set together and put something tight together.

The rest of the show was fun. Anthony had a hot set, and Jake Snyder ripped a mic stand in half and just held half of it on stage. It was hilarious. All in all a super fun show.

Afterwards I hung out with some comics, and talked shop. I got to sit and hang with my coworkers a bit to which was really dope. I had such a wonderful night. It all ended with Jake, Danny Dunlea, and I going to Denny’s to have a super late meal. Afterwards I headed home to pass out.

9/8

The next day I went to Busch Gardens and had an absolutely wonderful time. Legit just a great experience. I haven’t been all year and can’t wait to go back in October. Afterwards I had time to go do some time at the competition at Hof Garden.

This show is hosted by Mu, Jameson, and Kate Carroll. Everyone does five minutes and they grade your set like American Idol at the end of the show they have the last month’s winner close it out, and then they go announce the winner from this month.

I was definitely the most experienced comic at this show. I should have just done a set and not put myself in for the contest, but one of the things you win is a spot on a live podcast that has a pretty good following and I could use that.

I was up 3rd or fourth and there was a nice intimate crowd there. I asked Ryan Mather to record my set and he obliged. The first few comics did ok. They got some good pops, but the crowd was ready to laugh. I told myself I was going to only do new material. I didn’t want to do my best polished shit because that doesn't accomplish anything, and this way even if I lose I can be stoked that I worked out material.

I went up and had a super fun set. I didn’t kill, but all of the jokes worked. I riffed some good stuff, and added on to some bits. This was an extremely fun, and productive sets. I wish all open mic sets felt like this.

After I got off stage I went and hung out in the back. I didn’t feel like watching a ton of sets. I got to hang with Brian Mann (who had a really good set), Ryan Mather, Melissa Harris, Ben Oliver, Bryan Williams, Taylor Baldwin, and a few others including a comic I hadn’t seen in a long time. He came to hang and not perform, and support his buddy who was closing it out.

I had a female comic ask why I didn’t give notes and I had to explain I don’t give them usually to female comedians. I don’t want to come across as “mansplaining” comedy, and I've had female comics ask for notes and then I watched them throw them in the trash. It is just easier for me, and better business to not really do that. Last thing I need is someone who doesn’t know me saying they saw me telling a woman how to do comedy.

After everyone had gone up they went to add up the scores. Brock then went up and he had a solid set. He did a new song thing, and people seemed to dig it a lot.

After this they brought, myself, Beth Tucker, and Brian Mann on the stage. They all said really nice things about us, and then announced the winner. It was me. I was super stoked. Afterwards I hung out with a bit, but headed out pretty quickly because I had work in the morning.

9/9

The next day I headed up to The Southern after work. I got some flyers from Jeyon for our show we have in October at Holly’s. I set everything up and got ready for the show. I was pretty stoked because I had a friend from college that I haven't seen in like 9 years say they were coming. When they showed up it was super fun to finally catch up

We had a pretty good crowd show up actually. They were into it from the beginning. I got to see a bunch of my friends go up. Like Brandon Beswick, Alex, Paige, JR, Chris, and plenty of others. Everybody does pretty well.

It is finally my turn. I go up and thoroughly enjoy my set. I am getting in a good rhythm of trying new stuff, and keeping what works. The new really hit pretty hard tonight. I didn’t destroy, but the jokes are getting better. The progress is amazing to feel. I’d give this set a B-.

After the show I headed home because I was exhausted. I said goodbye to my friend and dipped out.

9/11

Tonight I had a 9/11 benefit show put on my Nick Deez to do in Newport News at Cozzys. I was co-headlining and was excited for it. I headed down right after work.

I met Nick, Ian Nightengale, and Torrey Huggins for dinner. We talked shop and ate some pizza before headed next door to Cozzy’s to record my podcast before the show. The episode turned out great. I had Ian and Nick go up against Rock and Torrey. Super funny episode and I cannot wait to release it.

We then get ready for the show to start. The lineup is Torrey, Ian, Rock, Nick, Tim Macklin, AC Smith, Brent Schreiber, myself, and Fred McKinnon.

We were worried about a crowd, but honestly we got about 25 people in there. Which is super dope for an off night. The show got started and it was dope.

They were a little tight for Torrey’s set, but he woke them up. Then Ian had a really strong set as well. This just kept building. AC had a hot one, then Brent, then Rock had a super offensive set. Nick did some newer stuff during his set. Then Tim went up before me and it just didn’t stop.

I went up and went straight into crowd work. We were running a little behind, and I didn’t want them to get tired. So I just addressed the crowd for about 10 minutes, and it was working really well. Like I was killing with the crowd work, and then at the last ten minutes I did a bunch of newer stuff that hit really hard too. I got off feeling really good about how it went. I’d give it an A-.

After my set I packed my stuff up and hung out until the show ended. Fred had a good set, and I got to go outside and talk shop with the guys. We talked about some comedic frustration and limitations that we have to put up with. Sometimes it is good to just vent a bit, and then you feel way better. Afterwards I got in my car and drove back to try to make McCormacks in time.

I luckily did. I got there with only one comic left so I got to squeeze in before him. The crowd was dead. Like two people paying attention, but I did brand new stuff. I just needed to say into a microphone to work on it. I bombed super hard, but a couple ideas got a few laughs so I know where to start. I’d give this set a D-.

As soon as I was done I headed home to pass out. I had a long day the next day.

9/12

I drove up to DC to host for my buddy Dan Lamorte at DC Comedy Loft. I got there a little before showtime, and got to meet the other comics. Which included Maggie Crane, Michael Terry (who I had met with Dan in Richmond last year) and Trevor Wallace (IG comic) who was headlining downstairs but popped up for a guest spot.

It was a light crowd, but they all were fans of Dan’s so they were into it. Dan was doing a guest spot downstairs as well so there were a lot of moving parts. I went up and had a good hosting set. They liked me and I didn’t have to do any crowd work. I just did some newer and older jokes. They all worked, and I had the crowd warmed up. I’d give this set a C.

Next up was Trevor. It was obvious that standup wasn’t his first love. He got huge on IG and he had a great stage presence and was extremely likable on stage. It just didn't seem tight at all. it looked like a dude doing what he thought standup was supposed to be. He is huge, and selling out rooms. I respect he is working on the craft, but he is definitely an internet guy that jumped over to standup because it was another avenue to make some money.

After his set I brought up Maggie Crane. Michael Terry told me that I would need to do some time in-between comics because Dan might not be back from his set downstairs. So after her set I went up and did a few more jokes. They also went well. I was just worried that if he wasn’t back when Michael got off stage then I’d have to stall again.

Michael went up and had a solid set too, and right before he got off Dan showed up. I brought Dan up and sprinted over to Big Hunt to try to get another set in before my night was over.

I got to go up pretty quickly after I got there and I felt pretty good doing newer material. The crowd was weird, and they didn’t dig everything and I went too hard no anti-vaxxers apparently. I’d give this set a C.

I then sprinted back to Comedy Loft and caught the end of the set. I got to hang and chill for a bit before packing up and heading home. I was stoked because this was the earliest I'd gotten to leave DC in a while.

9/13

I was so excited because this weekend I got to feature at the Richmond Funny Bone. This was going to be my second weekend featuring there. I was so ready for it to be better than the last. I was extremely nervous, but knew it was going to be fun because my friend Anthony Thompson was hosting. I was also worried because the last time I featured there my dad was at the show. So this was bringing up all kinds of memories.

The early show was Vicki Barbolak (America’s Got Talent) headlining. It was an ok sized crowd. Nothing crazy, but definitely close to full. It was the whitest I have ever seen a crowd there. I am used to this club being more of an urban club. I knew I was going to have to adjust my material, and was worried this might end up being a long weekend.

The show starts and Anthony goes up to warm them up. Then I go up. I do ok. I could not get in a good rhythm. I was scared and I felt like all of my stuff wasn’t working. I powered through and did my time, but I was not happy with this set. I’d give it a C-.

Afterwards I watched some of Vicki’s set, but mostly got a bite to eat and tried to decompress before the second show. After the show ended I didn’t even really talk to the people coming out. I was too ashamed. I didn’t kill, and I didn’t feel like I deserved to be there. I did here from several people that I did better than I felt, but that doesn’t mean much.

The second show the headliner was James Lawson. It was definitely a black crowd, and I was ready to show what I can do. Anthony went up and we could tell this crowd was going to be better.

Then I went up and definitely had a better set. I wasn’t killing but I had some pretty good pops. Nothing completely bombed, and that was a relief. I did some fun crowd work and got off on a pretty big laugh! I’d give it a C.

After this I hung out for a bit. I got some food, and just chilled. After James set I got to talk to a few people and actually got to give out some #cutecomedy stickers. After everyone left I headed home to prepare for the rest of the weekend.

9/14

The next day I relaxed at home, did some cleaning, and watched the Virginia Tech football game. It has been really difficult to do it without dad, but I have to. After hanging out for a while I headed into town ready to have two great sets.

I get there and Vicki is doing an interview with a lady who wrote a book. She is getting like a recommendation from Vicki so she can post it online. She says she is too christian and can’t really watch the show, but she wanted to sit for a while. So her and her husband take the comics table which means I have to take down my camera. Which straight up is annoying as shit. Especially since she wasn’t going to stay for the whole show. There were other tables that had open seats. She could have sat there, but nope. Had to move the camera.

The show starts and it is almost full. Anthony had a solid hosting set. I went up and had a really strong feature set. I was super proud of it. I didn’t do any crowd work. Just 20+ minutes of my material and they really enjoyed it. I did a new opener and put my old opener after it. Which kept it fresh and gave me two big pops up top. I closed pretty strong too. I’d give this set a B+

Afterwards I went and ate and did video editing in the green room. After the show I went outside and met with people. I had a good buddy from high school who has come to a few shows show up. He gave me some strong compliments and he said he loved that I didn’t do crowd work. He said it was all material, and it was awesome. That means a lot to hear since I worry my crowd work is way better than my jokes.

The second show starts and they are rowdier than the first crowd. Anthony did well, and addressed a table of hecklers. I went up and had a hot one. The jokes worked, but where I really got them was the crowd work. There were two tables doing ladies night, and I was able to pick on them. One was wasted and the others were classier. There was a dude and his wife in the front who were super into the show. Super handsome dude, and gorgeous lady so I was able to bring them into the fold. Such a super fun set. I’d give this one a B+/A-.

After my set I headed over to meet up with my buddy Kenn for a bit. We chilled and talked and I told him I had to go back to hand out stickers. I had people say I was better than the headliner which is bull shit, but still nice to hear. I handed out a bunch of stickers and got a good number of people to follow me on social media.

After all of this Kenn and I went to grab a bite to eat and catch up. Then I headed home.

9/15

This was a super chill day. I got Pho and hung out with some friends. I also went to Coco and Hazel which is a dope milkshake place in town. They have ginormous shakes with cake and cookies on top of them.

I then headed over for the last show. It was pretty full for a Sunday. I got to talk to Vicki a bit and she was super sweet. She had some kind words for me and said she’d be in touch.

Anthony had a good set, and then I felt really good about mine. I did a good mix of material and crowd work. They really dug what I was doing. I got some huge pops, and felt the confidence to try a new joke(it didn’t work). The audience was one of the best Sunday audiences I have ever seen. I’d give this a B.

After my set I got my check and dipped out. I wasn’t feeling great, and I was just ready to kind of unwind and relax and go to bed.

9/16

After work I headed to a pretty productive therapy session. After this I headed up to The Southern.

When I got there I set everything up. I moved the tables, and set up the PA. I had it looking really good. Unfortunately Monday Night Football kind of kills comedy in this area. We didn’t have a huge crowd.

We did have a lot of my friends come out though. Mu, Bryan, Adam Chiodini, Paige, Heather, JR, Chris, Shane Hill, Sam Wood, Samantha Padgett, and plenty of others.

The show was actually pretty fun. Everybody did ok, or if they didn’t it was good for them. I went up and had a solid set. I did mostly new stuff. I had two brand new bits, and new tags for bits I did last week. So it was incredibly productive for me. I’d give it a C.

After my set I packed up and headed home. I was exhausted. I ended up not sleeping well. My dad has been weighing very heavy on my mind lately. I doesn’t seem to be getting easier. It definitely feels like it is getting worse.

I DID IT! Caught up again. I’ll be back Thursday with tomorrow’s shows. I love you laydees and baybees very much. I don’t know if anyone reads this, but if you do thank you! Thanks for supporting #cutecomedy !!! xoxo see you soon.

#comedy #bomb #standup #feature #hilarious #jokes #improv #funnybone #podcast

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serkonans · 6 years ago

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i would legit love to know ur answer to all of those dnd questions tbh

so many gfsljgf thank you antonia i love ask memesputting #13 up here for the anon who requested it and the rest below the cut!13. Introduce your current party.I currently DM a few games! School is hectic and I don’t get to play very often but all the characters are GoodI have one group campaign titled “When the River Bleeds Red” (which is probably news to you, Antonia, and everyone else who plays, idt I ever mentioned that slkfjglfskj) that has a blacksmith (half-elven cleric, @the-idiot-who-stood-still) named Brigitte Faestrum, a pumpkin farmer (halfling druid, @beesgnees) named Cathal Headrig, a former stage performer (fire genasi sorcerer, @merrigold) named Emelia Sparks, and a former mercenary (gnome fighter, @jacqmutiny) named Nyx!I also DM one-on-one campaigns for @merrigold (who plays an aasimar druid named senua tasked with undertaking journeys on behalf of the gods in “The Glacial Erratic”) and @fictitiousbees (who plays a kenku wizard named scribbles called to the service of a high dragon in “Luck of the Draw”)Everything else below the cut!

1. A favorite character you have played.

I’ve only played two characters! One was Carran Warset, who is my Son and like the bulk of the reason I know I’m trans, and one was Chim from your one-on-one campaign. I rly like both of them tbh but Carran is my child gkjlsfgjs

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

Excluding anything I’ve DMed, Sivarna by @pluviance!

3. Your favorite side quest.

In the group campaign we played in together, there was one session that idr if you were able to be there for but we like,,, went into a forest and bought a really ugly belt from a stoner for zero plot reasons and I count it as a side quest in my heart

4. Your current campaign.

Well, you know everything about all my current campaigns that you’re allowed to know rn, but for anyone who might be reading who isn’t in them:

The group campaign is being used as scapegoats in the brutal murder of an ambassador’s daughter and is fleeing a city through secret tunnels -- we last left off at Cathal becoming a giant badger and burrowing upward

In the solo campaign with Senua, she’s attempting to deliver a large, magical object from the goddess of earth deep inside a mountain, and she’s facing down a basilisk with three NPCs

And in the solo campaign with Scribbles, he’s just played a card game that was really more of an interrogation, where he found out a high dragon has taken interest in him, and he is, in unrelated news, taking a package to the local apothecary

5. Favorite NPC.

Of someone else’s, I love Lucy from the Chim campaign!

Of mine, I will never stop loving Mr. Kretever Tatell. Kret is a goddamn idiot but he’s my goddamn idiot

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

Carran once killed an evil poison merchant by seducing her in an enemy king’s bedroom and stabbing her when he went in for the kiss gkfsljgfsj. Then he and Sivarna wound up hiding with her corpse under a bed discussing the concept of threesomes in whispers while the king wandered around his room. Not as like, a possibility. Just because the topic came up

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

S,,,hop,,,,,,, money tiem $

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

I liked the fight where I balanced the combat correctly lkgsflkjskljg, the one with guards in the tunnels

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

Storytelling!

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

Homebrew enemies are coolest imo but hard to balance; the giant gemstone ant I had you fight would’ve been my favorite if it’d been able to get more than like two attacks in gskjgksj

And insect swarms are very annoying to fight

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

How often I play is whenever every single one of the stars align and ideally I would play like every other day fksjglskfjg

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

God the current ones haven’t gone long enough for those yet really and I’m blanking on most from the group player campaign

I do remember Carran was 1000% convinced basil was poison at one point and his pet rat killed an evil, powerful sorcerer by chewing his ear

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

Just the group player campaign with Carran, which didn’t get to the heavy plot stuff before it ended tbh, and then the solo one you ran with Chim in what was rly a Very cool world concept of like hellish Las Vegas that I’d like to steal at some point

And then you ofc know this but for anyone reading who doesn’t, I’m going DM a maybe-oneshot, maybe-a few more than oneshot post-apocalyptic campaign for you and @fictitiousbees, set in a world that’s been destroyed by fast growing invasive fungi which is like. only The sexiest apocalypse scenario

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Yes, religiously. Game time snack time

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

I’ve never played in person other than a single test game for new players! I prefer online tho; you can look things up and type if you’re shy

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

I have a rule about only two players being able to try the same sort of check, but that’s it for us so far that I can think of

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Not yet! Cathal has a way with animals though

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

I Do

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

I got into it bc Critical Role made it look super super fun, and I’ve been playing off and on for two years now

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

I’ve regretted everything any character I’ve controlled has done I think that’s just dnd

Realistically tho, big yes for a lot of what Carran did, most notably snooping on another player character who had cast Alarm on her room

22. What color was your first dragon?

Haven’t had one yet!

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

100% original babey

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

3% planning 97% “oh fuck I need to have an idea Now” babey

For DMs

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

Everything, it’s why I never know what I’m doing

I never expected Cathal to become a large badger and dig out of the underground, how do you prepare for someone to, in all seriousness, tell you they’re going to become a badger and scrabble to the surface

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

I really tend to enjoy the one-on-one scenes; I think my favorite was having you roll that insane wild magic surge and detailing What Happened At The Theatre

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

Yes if it can go in DND Beyond

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

In group campaigns, not often, although we have two with us right now. In solo campaigns, if you want combat you’re getting an NPC party, at least for a bit

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Personally I love RP heavy sessions; combat is fun but I crave Story

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

I think mostly diplomatic with a dash of murder hobo

For Players

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

I’m so so so boring but I love humans gksfjgsk

Humans, elves, and half-elves are my favorite

And then I Would Die For Every Rogue, it’s hands down my favorite class

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

Rogue role

Lemme stealth and steal and stab

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

For Carran it was,, A Whole Process

I came up with a basic idea, then journaled as him several times and wrote and rewrote until I had what felt Right, and then I kept toying with it and adding more details throughout the campaign -- I love playing and would really like to again but the obsession with expanding upon his story made me realize I need the freedom of worldbuilding that goes along with DMing; I don’t think I could be a player without DMing a separate campaign bc I just try to take over

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

Both!

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

So much, I usually use old acting techniques and get fully into character

thank you again antonia!!! these were fun

#fox speaks #long post #in case the cut doesn't work bc tumblr bad #merrigold

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posiden1912 · 6 years ago

Note

All of the lovecore questions!

Oh my! This is so unexpected!!! A follower interacted with me!!! 💖 I’d die for u op

1.) what’s your sexuality? - Pansexual

2.) are you dating someone right now? - Gods i wish! super single rn

3.) would you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? - oh yea, 100%. I was once super into this girl and she sid she would only have her first dance to this very specific song, and well, the thing is that i loved her and just really really really wanted to dance with her. So i conspired with a close friend for her to play the song at her quince, and it worked. I got to dance with her and it was super magical even though it didnt pan out for us!

4.) what comes to your mind when you think of love? - hm.. im not entirely sure how to answer this cuz my mind springs to alot, so im gonna say words, and then colors. Love is trust, and intimacy. Its that time on valentine’s day when your heart wells because you locked eyes with your crush for a second too long. Love is powerful, and inherently magical. It can soothe the anxious, frazzle the calm, make us feel safe, and vulnerable all at the same time. Passionate love between romantic partners is a blazing inferno of reds and yellows and orange. It’s hot and sometimes painful; it’s sooteing and potent. You could burn away to nothing, or shrink to calmer fire. Love between friends and long time lovers is green and blue respectively, or sometimes combined. It’s healing, long lasting, like ice to a wound and a blanket over the cold. It’s whatever you both need. Its adaptable, and true, healthy for everyone involved. Everyone could use and give a little love and compassion. The world would probably be a better place if people kept this in mind.

5.) what’s your type? (body + personality wise

6.) flowers or hearts?- flowers, hearts sound like such a gory gift.

7.) red or pink?- por que no los dos???

8.) do you prefer pastels or dark colors?- por que no los dos??? why not combine them??? open your heart you cowards

9.) scented lotion or perfume?- honestly neither? but probably perfume. I like my lotion unscented!

10.) what color(s) do you associate with love?- Hey!!! we already did this!! so this is why my teachers told me to read my questions first!! But tl;dr, red, blue, and green

11.) what animal(s) do you associate with love?- not sure! never thought about it. maybe hamsters. Fragile and cute, but will absolutely fuck your shit up my dude. (i’ve had 20 hamsters, do not @ me fuckers)

12.) how do you know when you’re crushing on someone?- i think about them alot and just want to be near them.

13.) how do you know when you’re in love?- i want space from them occasionally, but always want to come back.

14.) have you been in love?- oh yea lmao. it was intense! 10/10 would do again even tho my heart hurts!

15.) favorite romcom trope?- no idea! maybe like,, when the girl and or guy realizes theyre in love with eachother.

16.) what’s your favorite aesthetic other than lovecore?- the ocean

17.) favorite romantic movie?- um,,, that’s a personal question :/ (XD)((i only did that cuz idk how to use emojis with my laptop lmao.))

18.) ideal date?- its just us alone somewhere, even if it’s a crowded place. We talk and are so involved with eachother that we just don’t even notice how deep we are falling for eachother. We talk for hours and it feels like seconds, and we just want more time. maybe go to a book store after whatever we were doing.

19.) what would you give your partner for a romantic gift?- depends on the person

20.) what would you want to receive from a partner as a romantic gift?- depends on the person, probably something kinky

21.) why do you like lovecore?- honestly ive no idea what lovecore is.

22.) what do you think love is? like, how would you explain the concept- already did this!!!!!

23.) do you believe in love at first sight? no, love is slow kindled. I believe in lust, crush, and infatuation at first sight though.

24.) have you ever crushed on a friend?- almost exclusively! XD

25.) have you ever crushed on a stranger?- definitely.

26.) celebrity crush? Aubrey plaza 100%

27.) do you have a crush on any fictional characters? yes XD

28.) matte or shiny? depends on how im feeling!

29.) bright or dull colors? depends on how im feeling, and the context!!!

30.) do you have a favorite lovecore blog? if so, what is it?- mine

31.) favorite love song?- as i lay me down by sophie b hawkins, there’s others, but i cant think of them i can link my spotify if you’d like

32.)

33.) do your best heart spam!! (ex. 💗🏳️‍🌈💗💓💓💝🍓💝💫✨💫💞💝💗⭐️💘💓💗💞♥️)- my friends can attest that my heart spam is legendary, and this post is already long enough!

send in any other love/lovecore associates asks as well~! i love you all!!!

ps. honestly “por que no los dos” is why im pansexual lmao but more like “por que no todo!” XD

I’m a transgirl out here looking for love, if youre a gal please messs=age me lmao, if youre a guy submit your application, you’ll hear back in 5-7 business days :)

(if youre agender or gender queer, pls message me! need some trans friends!!)

welp im late for uni! bye everyone :)

#love #hopeless romantic #pansexual #panromantic #transgirl #please love me!!!#lovecore

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multapohja966 · 6 years ago

Note

All of them (as requested jdkdk) 👀

ahhah thank you!!

(put it under a read more)

1. describe your idea of a perfect datei haven’t really thought about this… i think it’s something involving coffee, but i think having some alone time with the person is important to me.and.. this might be a hilly billy thing but going to some nature place they/me connect to their youth is cool.

2. whats your “type”strong personality and oppinionated is propably the most important. but you have to have a will to think and to a certain extent see all of your oppinions as up for debate. people who do not care about what others think and express themselves how they want!! and i quess i like masculine girls and feminine boys.

3. do you want kids?hmmm… jeah i have sometimes thought of myself as a parent and liked the thought. but it’s such a huge responsobility that i don’t really know what the reality of it would be.

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?hmmm well i already know that i won’t be the one giving birth. i see adoption as a really valid option, but jeah im not that far into considering kids.

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been oni’ve been on an official date like once and it was absolutely awful. but there’s this other time i hung out with this dude i liked and im like 90% sure he liked me too at the time but we were both socially incapable suckers. but jeah we rode our bikes on a summer evening and he showed me the place he goes to when he wants to be alone, which was this solid rock hill that had a view of the biggest swamp i had ever seen. was really dope

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)you come to my virgin jack-off house….

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?night time. i’m so bad at funktionin during the day.

8. opinion on nap dates?haven’t really tried but from ecperience i have with friends i think it’s such a good way to create trust

9. opinion on brown eyes?very nice. especially those almost black ones and that hazel color stuff.

10. dog gay or cat gay?dog gay!!

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?YES!!

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone?not really that experienced with commitment (i love being trans in a small village smh) but propably i just need to know they’re mature enough.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?hmmm idk i didn’t really have much exposion to them but i guess i kinda had this thought they were super different from the people around me? the typical thing bad representation brings.

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger selfbeing something different isn’t bad. you don’t have to compensate being lgbt+ with aggressively being something “normal” for people to not leave you. be nice and appreachable and mature, but you won’t gain anything from trying to please the people who are more easy to digest/”park of the mass”. it won’t work and it’ll be hard to accept that people see fault in even small things, but when you be yourself and express yourself greatly enough with confdence, THEN people will be drawn to you.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?jeah…. i really like men who are like sensitive and skinny and like i hate this but like: beta males (ajndfljns). but in women i adore the basic strong muscular and huge woman with a confident and relaxed nature. i haven’t really thought about a specific type when it comes to nb people. because “stylistic/creative” is a bit too broad

16. who is an ex you regret?hmmm i don’t really think i regret any.

17. night club gay or cafe gay?cafe gay. clubbing is okay sometimes with good company and enough alcohol in my system but if im sober-ish and with some people i hate it. (also i have mostly been to straight clubs and ffff i don’t fit there at all and it gets bad if i start to think about it)

18. who is one person you would “go straight” forbi..

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?all.

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)uuhhf.. hmmmmm.. bumblebee?

21. favourite gay youtubermiles jai

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?prolly not. but it’s a grey line since i did some romantic shit as femme representing when i was in the trans closet.

23. have you ever been in love?yes. it was such a defining feeling for me

24. have you ever been heartbroken?yeah, but i’m kind of embarrassed by it

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someonethis is something it think about a lot as a trans masc person, but i have always thought that despite my taste in men/masc people and my ideal look often being intertwining (those young artsy gopnik -aesthetic boys are the ideal look for me lol) the feelings of “i want to be like that” and “i want to date that” have always been clearly different for me.

26. favourite lgb musician/banddoes tyler the creator count? because he’s propably an artist i relate to and admire the most. ohhhhh lil peep is the same too. also kevin abstract, he means the world.

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysit’s hard to live in a society that doesn’t always give you the same possibilities because of your identity. but try to see it in a healthy light and compromice only on things that don’t hurt your identity and who you are. you’re allowed to be weird and controversial and it doesn’t matter what people think because it’s them who are shallow and small minded. but remember that things you have to do as a person who’s part of a society need to be taken care of for your own health! :D (and queer excellense heh)

28. are you out? if so how did you come outyes. well.. ACTUALLY i never came out about my sexuality??? i never saw it as necessary. i think my parents know tho, i don’t really think about it. huh.. how weird i didn’t even realise. i’m “out” to almost everyone tho cause im super open about it.

my gender was a more complicated issue. i first came out to my closest friends. then to some friends who weren’t really lgbt+ informed (and they were all so supportive!) then to my mom. then to everyone else in instagram. the last and most hard was my dad, who has always supported me in everything, but isn’t really informed about stuff like that and is the typical old school finnish man. he was supportive too! at the moment the only one who doesn’t know is my grandma.

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have coming out to my dad lmao. cause he didn’t know what i mean XDD i thought that in light of resent lgbt+ visibility he would have at least heard about nonbinary people but he just didn’t know so i had to explain and jeahh.

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityi have pretty safe surrounding so im not completely sure what i can say.. but from my experience i want to say that despite how it always seems and feels, people are empathetic. people truly are understanding. no person wants harm, we’re all just so confused and misinformed. people will understand and change their ways if you give them your honest self because they are just confused. the most beautiful and supportive words ive gotten in regards to my identity are from a cishet boy in a party, who previously had really toxic and mean perception of nb people, but after i came out to him and we talked about the whole thing. he gave me this whole speech about how i should always be myself and not let anyone give me shit. honestly i get a bit teary sometimes when i think about it. but jea, there’s this raw goodness in people that i often forget exists, but it is there.

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leukocytosis-lives · 4 years ago

Text

if you wanna play games - NSFWish - (3/3)

NSFW bc f u c k

SEXYTIMES EXPERIENCES

1. How many people have you had sex with? 8.

2. Can you remember the names of everyone you've slept with? Yes.

3. With whom did you first do the sexytimes? Was it good? He had a three letter name and no, it wasn't good, BC he put all his weight on my chest til I struggled to breathe and he made me do all the work. Wouldn't even try to get me off.

4. What's the best sex you've ever had? Hm... I dunno I’ve had some good times.

5. What's the worst sex you've ever had? See question 3 of this set.

7. Where's the most unusual place you've had sex? A car probably. 8. Where's the most unusual place you've masturbated? Also a car. 9. Have you ever been caught doing the sexytimes? Yeah. 10. If you masturbate, when did you start, and how? I can’t remember. So fucking long ago. ~trauma~ caused hypersexuality VERY early and I’m uncomfortable discussing that. 11. Have you ever been caught masturbating? yes. QUEER SHIT

11. How would you describe your sexuality using only adjectives (describing words-busy, fluffy, squishy, etc.)? fluid. 12. Have you ever been in a queer relationship? i mean, yeah? 13. Have you ever been in a straight relationship? IF we go by how i used to identify before i realized being trans is a thing, then yeah? 14. How and when did you realise you weren't straight? i was crushing on a chick and a dude at the same time. 15. Are you out to everyone you know? not everyone, no. 16. Where do you meet queer folks to date? Do you find it difficult?| Never sought that specifically. But if this relationship falls through, then yeah I’m absolutely going to focus on queer spaces because uhhhhh it’ll feel safer. 17. If your parents know about your sexuality, how did they react I don’t think i ever came out about my sexuality to them, just gender... and they were VERY upset about that and blamed the US????

18. Does your best friend know about your sexuality? How did they react? my best friend is my partner and he hasn’t really given a shit about *what* i’m into. 19. Describe your first queer kiss. i was 13, it was spin the bottle. i still thought i was a girl and i missed her face. but i met my mark on the guy.

20. What's the queerest shit you've ever done? I don’t know - exist?

LET'S GET PHYSICAL

21. Are you happy with your body? Nah. Phantom dick syndrome is a bitch. Dysphoria is a bitch. 22. What's the raddest part of your bod, and why? I have a nice face. A nice mouth, perfect for pleasing others. 23. What do you do with your body hair (pubes, underarms, legs, etc.)? I’m lazy so not enough.

24. Do you have stretch marks? Where? Chest, hips, stomach, ass.

25. Describe your nipples in too much detail. One is inverted and they feel next to nothing.

26. (Vagina-owners) Do you have an "innie" (small, tucked-in inner labia), or an "outie" (more visible/larger inner labia)? uh. the former.

27. (Vagina-owners) Is it very obvious when you're turned on (swelling, wetness etc.)? VERY obvious. idk i’m wet literally always.

28. (Penis-owners) Describe the size and shape of your penis. Are you happy with it? n/a

29. (Penis-owners) Have you tasted your own cum? Did you like it? n/a

30. (Breast-owners) How does the size of your breasts compare? Is one bigger than the other? they’re... not quite the same? SEXUAL FANTASY LAND

31. Describe your most unusual/taboo fantasy. I don’t really know? knifeplay/bloodplay? I want to feel alive.

32. Do you fantasise more about real situations, or imaginary/ impossible ones? impossible only in as far as i’m in a monogamous relationship.

33. Who's the oddest person you've fantasised about? only just people who’s sexualities I don’t know, i guess?

34. Do you ever find yourself fantasising absent-mindedly, or is it something you do on purpose? absentmindedly, often.

35. Do you always fantasise while you masturbate? yes.

36. When you fantasise, does it usually lead to masturbation? yes.

37. Have you ever had sex with someone while fantasising about someone else? yes.

38. Do you have any celebrity crushes that you fantasise about? no. those are too unattainable.

39. Have you ever fantasised about something by accident, and felt weird about it after? not really.

40. Describe your most sexy fantasy. i just want to be pinned between two hot people pls.

KINKTOWN USA

41. How do you feel about BDSM? as long as it’s safe, sane and consentual.

42. What's your most unusual kink? i don’t know what’s usual or unusual bc no one talks about it.

43. In an SM context, do you prefer giving pain, or receiving it? receive.

44. Do you consider yourself to be dominant, submissive, both, or neither? i am everything.

45. Describe your most recent bondage experience. i haven’t had a recent one that i can recall.

46. In a BDSM context, have you ever referred to anyone as "daddy," "mommy," or any similar term? NO. NEVER.

47. Do you have a kink for any bodily fluids (pee, saliva, blood, tears, cum, etc.)? cum, yes. very much so. please give it all to me.

48. Have you ever revealed a kink to someone and had them react negatively? yeah! and now i’m afraid to tell partners!

49. Do you have any kinks that you're ashamed of? yes. CNC for example.

50. How much money have you spent on equipment for your kinks (toys, whips, chains, etc.)? Not much, $200 at most.

COME FOR THE QUESTIONS, STAY FOR THE SUBHEADINGS

51. (Vagina-owners) Do you ever squirt when you come? no.

52. Have you ever come solely from penetration (anal or vaginal)? No. :(

53. Can you have an orgasm without your genitals being touched? Used to, not sure if i still can.

54. Describe how you like your genitals to be touched. very directly.

55. How sensitive are your nipples? Does nipple play turn you on? they aren’t. at all. if you’re rough enough, i will slightly feel it.

56. Do you find it easier to orgasm with another person, or through masturbation? masturbation typically, but it’s always nice to have someone helping.

57. Have you ever had an orgasm that you weren't expecting? No.

58. Do you get off easier from rough contact, or gentle? depends on my mood.

59. What's the best orgasm you've ever had? idk last night’s was pretty good. fuck. but that might be bc i hadn’t orgasmed in a fortnight.

60. Did it take you a while to have your first orgasm, or were you an early starter? early. don’t want to talk about ti.

ORAL FIXATION

61. Do you enjoy giving oral sex? Why? i love it. i live to please.

62. What's your favourite position in which to receive oral? on my knees while they’re sitting on something.

63. Describe your oral sex technique. I’ve only sucked dick so from that perspective. I intially like to go a bit slow. circle my tongue around the head slowly, before taking it deeper and deeper, while rolling my tongue around the head. idk.

64. Do you find it easier to give oral to someone with the same genital configuration as you (eg., you both own vaginas/both own penises), or different? I have only done one of these.

65. Describe the worst oral sex you've ever received. god i can’t even remember it because it wasn’t worth remembering beyond “he was VERY bad at it thanks straight men”

66. Describe the best oral sex you've ever received. idk as long as my partner is enthusiastic.

67. Do you ever simulate oral sex while masturbating (sucking on dildos etc.)? yes. sometimes.

68. How sensitive is your mouth? Is it an erogenous zone, for you? pretty sensitive, but also VERY easy to become ticklish.

69. Do you like 69ing? not particularly, but I assume that’s because I don’t have a cock as i imagine that would make it easier.

70. Can you deep-throat? yes, depending on the other person’s size. I think I can go up to 6″ ish?

EVERYTHING BUTT

71. Do you like it in the butt? yes.

72. What's the strangest object you've had in your butt? nothing particularly strange.

73. Do you enjoy being rimmed? yes.

74. Can vou take a lot in vour butt or iust a little? i don’t know it’s been fucking years.

75. Describe your most recent experience with buttsex. i don’t know, it’s been fucking years.

76. Do you like doing stuff to other people's butts? I would like an opportunity to try.

77. (Prostate-owners) Have you ever received a prostate massage? n/a, wish i had one.

78. Do you own any buttplugs? No but i am in the market.

79. Have you ever had an embarrassing buttsex experience? No, because they were only accidental. :(

80. Have you ever pegged someone (ie., worn a strapon and fucked them in the butt)? Once but I would love to again... but not strapless bc i get too wet for it to stay in *me* to be able to actually penetrate.

SHARING IS CARING

All questions assume you've done group sex of some kind

81. Describe your most recent group sex experience. We didn’t end up actually fucking but I came while both just rubbed my wrists and licked them for like an hour.

82. Have you ever had sex with more than two people at once (eg., foursome, moresome)? No, it’s only ever been 3... and never “proper” sex.

83. Have you ever had an orgy? Would you? No, but I would.

84. Do you enjoy watching your partner(s) having sex with others? I would like to see that.

85. Do you prefer to arrange group sex beforehand, or allow it to happen organically? I’ve never had it happen organically beyond the one time it happened online.

86. Have you ever felt left out during group sex? no.

87. Have you ever done a gangbang (ie., lots of people have sex with one person, but not each other)? No, but please.

88. Have you ever teamed up with someone and given a double blowjob/double cunnilingus? No, but this is my goal eventually. 89. Have you ever been penetrated by more than one person at the same time? No. :(

90. Have you ever been ejaculated on by more than one person at the same time? No. :(

**BONUS DARES**

91. Post a selfie. Not today.

92. Post a naked selfie. No.

93. Tag your biggest tumblr crush. hah, no.

94. Post your follower count 462

95. Press ctrl-v, and post whatever comes up. https://archiveofourown.org/works/26560330/chapters/70706364

96. Tag your top five followers. I don’t remember what this means.

97. Post your most recent Facebook status here. “Got my hair cut and am trying masc contouring? I have no idea what I'm doing when contouring to amend my facial structure.” plus a pic of my haircut.

98. Post the last SMS you received. “haha I bet”

99. Post the last SMS you sent. “Yeah! But it feels VERY weird to wear a hood.”

100. Send me $500. no thanks

#leukotalks

0 notes

ol-razzle-dazazzle · 7 years ago

Note

All the gay asks bc you made me do all of them

OWO thank you I love you1. describe your idea of a perfect dateAll of them??? Kakhiwkdkalgr walking around the beach or going to a bookstore or maybe a forest to chill or an abandoned place for a spooky date??? Movie date??? Ocean date??? Marriage date??? All good!!! Crab catching would certainly be on the agenda though. The oceans the best2. whats your “type”My type? Uhh anyone that’s nice to me lmao. Someone i can joke with and I know that cares about me. Quiet on the outside but like, nurturing and fun when you get to know em. Someone that doesn’t let people treat em like garbage because i yearn to be like that. On a side note I’m not sure why but most people i used to tend to have crushes on were ISFJs (or ESFJs) probably because they fit the criteria above. I don’t really like people that are totally my personality, and I think it’s important to not surround yourself with yes people or people that vehemently disagree with you. And communication! V important In terms of looks though? The kinds of girls I’m attracted to vary a lot actually. Buff girls soft girls tall girls short girls thin girls medium girls big tiddy little tiddy it’s all good. I guess I tend to prefer girls that aren’t white (not in a fetishistic way of course it’s just most girls that I’ve had crushes on or knew that were gay that were white just had really bad personalities and that brand of White Feminism™️ sorry if I worded this poorly) brown or black hair I guess? Just someone that doesn’t look like me adjnrujbslltgbk. Also someone I can squish and hug nicely. Of course I think there’s a lotta bullshit with people limiting themselves to only a few criteria and the racism or body type discrimination is total bullshit. Fetishisation is just as bad. There’s just so many cute girls out there why be a shitlord to people y’know? 3. do you want kids?Later on in life, if my partner would then yeah sure why not. I hate babies though so I would...4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?Adopt definitely. I’d personally prefer to adopt a kid that’s older, because they have a less chance of being chosen and I want them to be raised in a loving environment. 5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been onI’ve never been on an actual date ;v; but tbh any date I’d have with my gf would automatically top the list6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)I’ve never had sex so I got no gosh dang clue aside from fantasies, which I would be nervous as heck but ultimately want to be as adoring as possible and kisses everywhere7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?Mornings when you don’t have to go to things are amazing and beautiful but otherwise afternoon or night time gay. Anything that isn’t midday is good though8. opinion on nap dates?I’d be down for it. Sleeping is great, but cuddling and sleeping? Even better! Doesn’t matter for how long but yes! Good shit!!! 9. opinion on brown eyes?Only the most beautiful thing ever??? Brown and black eyes being ugly is a government lie, they are gorgeous. Black eyes just have that deep obsidian stare and like an adoring cat with dialated pupils you just want to hug, and brown eyes??? When the light hits them or you’re staring into them? Beautiful galaxies my dude. 10. dog gay or cat gay?I love dogs but I would never own one unless my partner wanted one. They’re just not a companion I prefer to cats. Cats are very good and fluffy and compact in comparison to dogs. Dogs are amazing though and I need to pay every one I see. 11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?Dude we already planned to live in a pseudo-barn to have crabs, rats, bats, cats and lizards 12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someoneSomeone who’s very ‘my way or the high way’. (My mum’s a lot like this and it’s caused me to try to constantly be appeasing. But with my mental illness I’ve gotten a lot more irritated by it.) Or someone that is a bit too mean I’m joking about people to the point where you don’t know if they’re serious. (I have this problem a lot with ‘friends’ and it leads to a lot of doubts and depression.) Also highly argumentative people who want to seem better than you and debate everything you say. (Just...ew.)13. what is a misconception you had about lgbt people before you realized you were one?I live in a homophobic family, so I used to think gay was a swear word lmao. I was told that we were unnatural, burning in hell, hypersexual, all that shit. Issues on trans people were even worse, and back when I considered the possibility of me being a trans man (while I experience dysphoria In my body I don’t think I would ID as a man- at the time I didn’t know what agender identities were) I was made to feel like it was the worst thing ever or that it didn’t exist that everyone was just straight and ‘normal’ 14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger selfDon’t pretend you’re aroace to hide who you are, you’re autistic but that’s okay just don’t overwhelm yourself, try to do things to the best you can. Also toxic feminity/masculinity is bullshit don’t feel guilty about wearing anything. You’re gay it’s so much easier now and don’t let people dictate of make you defend yourself 15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?Lmao nah. There is always that awkward moment when you think you see a hot butch but then he’s a twink. Bamboozled again. 16. who is an ex you regret?A few years ago I was forced into a relationship with some rude ass dude who ignored that I ID’d as aroace at the time. I guess at the time I had some comp het so I think that’s why I went along with it? It was kinda some toxic shit like nothing nsfw but he was just a huge dick that went off at the slightest disagreement and I’m glad I got rid of that trash lmao17. night club gay or cafe gay?Cafe gay by far!!! Well I’ve never been to a night club, but I’m someone who gets overwhelmed by loud noises and people, so it wouldn’t be the place for me. Cafes are relaxing18. who is one person you would “go straight” forNo one lmao, The only possibility of slightly me becoming straight is like a fictional character19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?Books and video game gay! There needs to be more gaymes, but books are good I just have less time to read them as opposed to gaymes which I can do whenever 20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)Probably RenMerry from Touhou! These two mean a lot to me, and got me into the series that helped me realise I was a lesbian! These two just work so well together that I strive to have a relationship like that- a slightly bickery old couple with the freshness of new adventure tied together with a love that will never fade away even as it transcends borders~21. favourite gay youtuberDon’t really have one. I’m not really into the British youtuber scene and the ones that I do sub don’t really talk about their sexuality or not (I think sailor j might be bi? But that’s about it) I usually watch comedy channels or vocaloid covers. Actually Oktavia’s Gay, yeah let’s go with her. Her voice is amazing and made me realise how much I love deep voices22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?Ahbkowejkboesh I’ve had crushes on straight people that I’ve wanted to hang out with but no of course not I’m too shy for that shit23. have you ever been in love?Yes! And I’m still doing so right now! 24. have you ever been heartbroken?While in a relationship? No. But like the whole ‘falling in love with a straight girl senpai and then everyone tells her that you have a crush on her which causes you to be distant to each other leading you to cry copiously at her graduation and never truly repairing your friendship which is all you ever wanted and never being able to talk to her again?’ ...y yeah 25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someoneHonestly I try to make a distinction between ‘people I have crushes on’ and ‘people I would date’ bc yeah someone might be cute but dating is another story. I’m someone who varies a lot in style (as someone who may possibly be gender fluid or agender but hasnthad the opportunity to explore that for family reasons) 26. favourite lgbt musician/bandUhhh Queen I guess? Idk I need more gay shit recommend me please. Queen is quality shit though 27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gaysDon’t ever feel the need to apologise or defend you being gay. Be happy even if other people aren’t about you. If you’re autistic chances are you’ll question your identity, don’t worry about it and just love who you love. If you’re a lesbian especially don’t apologise or feel you have to be in a certain role to ‘be truly gay’ and also please ask people out otherwise you’ll never get anywhere- all lesbians are useless and I got lucky shjgowkgowlgr. But above all, don’t feel guilty and have fun exploring yourself and fleshing our who you are, even if you can’t always show that out loud. 28. are you out? if so how did you come outI’m not out to any family member (I say that I’m aroace but they believe I’m straight despite jokes on the contrary) but pretty much everyone that isn’t a complete stranger knows. I can’t help but talk adoringly over my girlfriend so it just happens. Otherwise I go on some spheal about homophobic bullshit dropping hints that I’m gay before saying I’m gay. It’s led to some shittalking and other various bullshit but I don’t give a fuck anymore 29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have Believing I was aroace and my friends saying that i was in denial of being gay. I was like ‘lmao Domi’s just a friend I lowkey have a crush on her but she’s just being nice :^)’ then like a week later burst through the door like BITCH GUESS WHOS GAY FOR HER GIRLFRIEND 30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexualityEvaluate the consequences of coming out. While I live in a homophobic family, Australia is somewhat accepting and there’s no conversion therapy to my knowledge at least (there are highly fundamentalist Christian groups but I’m not sure if they include forms of violence) Especially if you are in an anti-gay country or an area where you could be persecuted, I think it’s important to be out to at least one person you know who supports you. It could be online or a friend that you know you could trust (if you don’t know if you could try subtly bring it up and see their reaction, but better safe than sorry.) because it’s hard to go through this entirely alone. While it’s important to be unapologetic of who you are, it’s more important to protect yourself- this doesn’t make you wrong, but the people who make you feel wrong wrong.

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blairwaldcrf · 7 years ago

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Questions For LGBT Ladies #LGBTask

Here are some random questions pertaining to LGBT Ladies. Have others ask you or simply answer them yourself. Please reblog!

((I’m just going to answer them all because I’m bored and very vain))

1. How do you define your sexuality? I identify with the label of bisexual, but my friends tell me i’m probably more pan

2. At what age did you first realize that you like girls? when I was 12 i freaked out because i noticed that girls in my grade were getting boobs and that made me feel things lmao, but i didn’t hardcore fall for someone till i was 17

3. At what age did you first come out? 17 to all of my friends, coworkers, and one of my cousins, 25 to my (mormon) biological family

4. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? my cousin, who was gay and obviously very supportive... they’re now living a full life as a married transgender woman and inspire me every day!

5. How out are you? completely! flaming bi!

6. Has coming out lost you any friends? it did in high school, because most of my friends were mormon, but pretty much all of them came around

7. What is your current relationship status? single, trying to get over my ex fiance? type person

8. How many LGBT friends do you have? lol, um i’m blanking on all of them but i know at least 7 that i talk to frequently

9. Do you have any LGBT relatives? yep! one transgender/poly/pan cousin from my dad’s side... and i’m the gay cousin for my mom’s side lmao

10. Have you ever cut your hair super short? in elementary school my mom gave me the shortest pixie cut ever and everyone thought i was a boy... since then I’ve cut it semi short but never shorter than beside my ears

11. How often do you wear flannel? surprisingly not that often, i only have two flannel shirts

12. How much do you like cats? like at least 60% depending on the cat

13. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often? i freaking love wearing dresses, but i hate skirts... dresses are like the least maintenance clothing ever

14. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often? um no, they’re not my thing

15. Do you have any tattoos? If so, what of and where? yep, a cactus on my ankle

16. How accurate is your gaydar? 90%

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? yes!!

18. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? fucking annoyed tbh

19. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? hasn’t everyone??

20. Ellen or Portia? Portia for sure, although i love my girl Ellen

21. Is your nose pierced? nah

22 Would you ever want to get married, if not already? i’m a hopeless romantic

23. Will you wear a dress for your wedding? oooh yes and hopefully my wife will too

24. Would you ever want to give birth? oh i would love to but i can’t physically

25. Have you ever watched The L Word? lmfao yes i’m a good bi

26. Have you ever dated a guy? yep, and regretted it 7/10 times

27. How do you feel when someone uses the word gay to mean stupid, dumb, or boring? obviously annoyed

28. How many rainbow items do you own? umm at least one flag

29. Have you ever been to a pride festival? yes, i even got to walk in it!

30. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (October 11)? yes

31. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? yes

32. Have you ever worn a woman’s suit? hell yeah in middle school lmao

33. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? um i mean “men’s clothing” is a subjective term, but like I’ve worn men’s boxers and shit...?

34. Do you eat meat? i love meat

35. Do you consider yourself a feminist? yep!

36. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? ahhh, um... probably Ellen? Although Adam Rippon is starting to sway me lmao

37. Are you religious at all? not particularly, although sort of neobuddhist/wiccan

38. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peak or staring at a cute female? 15/10 times

39. What is your ideal first date? like, just any date where i’m with a girl tbh

40. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, or tranny? sort of okay with lesbo, but the rest are offensive to me

41. How outdoorsy are you? i fucking love camping and mountains

42. In general, has being open about your sexuality affected your relationships with other females? yes, some lesbians i’ve dated were super biphobic

43. How much makeup do you typically wear? in public, plenty. at home, none

44. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding? yep!

45. Are you more feminine or more masculine? i’m genderfluid, but slightly more masculine

46. How long is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? 5 years, and no

47. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? nope

48. Do you think it is possible for someone to truly be a 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed in favor of one gender? ugh this is literally the fucking worst question. bisexuality is valid no matter the percentage of any gender attraction you bitch muffin

49. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? no tbh

50. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers? Rose and Rosie

51. Do you wear any combat boots, Doc Martins, or Timberlands? combat boots

52. Have you ever been hit on by another female? yes it’s an electrifying experience

53. How athletic are you? i stand up sometimes

54. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use? free bathrooms

55. What is your opinion of septum/bull nose piercings? not my thing

56. What does equality mean to you? that everyone has an equal chance to achieve the same goal

57. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other females? 99.9%

58. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? lol yes it’s the best

59. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? nah

60. How flirty are you? pretty flirty, i’m a libra

61. Are you a virgin? virginity is a construct, but no

62. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Ehteridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam Smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)? in highschool me and my exgf would rock to emo tegan & sara

63. Have you ever been told that you are too pretty to be gay? yep

64. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain. all the fucking time... i don’t want a threesome, i’m not going to cheat because i’m bi, etc etc

65. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep, or a pickup truck? nah

66. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? oooh boy, let me tell you. yes

67. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. ummm, 90%?

68. What personality trait are you most attracted to? intelligence

69. Boobs or butts? boobs

70. Beer or wine? hard liquor

71. Do you have a favorite lesbian movie? ... it’s still Imagine Me & You... the leads are so god-tier beautiful

72. From 1-10, how attractive are muscular women? 9

73. From 1-10, how attractive are women who wear glasses? this is dumb

74. From 1-10, how attractive are women who are covered with tattoos? 8

75. From 1-10, how attractive are curvy/plus-size women? 9

76. From 1-10, how attractive are women with short hair? 6

77. From 1-10, how attractive are masculine butch women? 4

78. From 1-10, how attractive are highly intelligent women? 10

79. From 1-10, how attractive are tall women (i.e. around 6 feet or taller)? 7

80. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? lol yes

81. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you? i dumped a girl who was cheating on me with a guy

82. Do you carry a purse? yes?

83. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies? yes

84. Have you ever pretended to be completely straight? nope

85. Would you ever date a trans girl? yes!

86. How well do you think LGBT women are portrayed on television? not extremely well, but it’s getting better

87. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s much older than you? Sandra Bullock..

88. Do you have any celebrity crushes? fucking Gal Gadot man

89. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? keep them safe and start regulating sexual assault of all military members

90. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

91. Have you ever been told that you look gay (i.e. like a lesbian)? occasionally, depending on what i’m wearing

92. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? fuck if i know

93. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? yes... if it’s made by lesbians

94. Have you ever had a one night stand? lol yes, but not with girls

95. How often do you wear a bra? 91% of the time

96. Have you ever been part of a softball team? lol no

97. If you could live your life all over again, would you still be attracted to other women? honestly i’d rather be attracted to only women instead of being bi

98. What stereotype about LGBT women do you disagree with the most? that bi women don’t belong

99. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? watch Imagine Me & You

100. What advice would you give a girl who is struggling to come out? it takes time... just let it happen and know that the time will come naturally

@caiterprince and @angryfinnstan who I know are wlw, you should answer some of these if you want because i love you and want to get to know more!!!

#personal #non fandom #wlw #wlw tag

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pghbabesonbikes · 7 years ago

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Frigid Bitch 2018 Results

The 5th Annual Frigid Bitch: …not the coldest, …not the warmest, …not the longest…

At 9am on Saturday February 17th, 2018, the race organizer drove down to the north shore trail to check for ice and found herself staring at the river. There was no trail. Pittsburgh was flooded, the Point was underwater, the steps and railings leading down to the trail were protruding out of 10 extra feet of river along with signage and street lights. Well shit. That would fuck up the route map. Or would it? One of the checkpoints was on the West End Bridge, (or more accurately - under it, in the pedestrian tunnel) and most cyclists would either know or check the map and see the best way to get there is to take the trail. But from the kayak rental station under the Three Sisters Bridges to the Carnegie Science Center, the trail was The Allegheny. Well, if anyone follows the map and ends up staring into the river, we’ll chalk that up to race-day obstacles. They’ll just have to find their way around it.

Set up started early at Spirit, bike-rack equipped cars were already in the lot, and randonneur extraordinaire Monica VanDieran popped in first thing for the second year in a row to grab her spokecard, manifest and shirt. A steady stream of ladies rolled into the upper lodge to register and claim a corner to huddle over their maps and start plotting routes. An hour later an announcement was made that the race would start in 30 minutes and we were at 95 registered racers, so call your friends! Pittsburgh Babes on Bikes had decided that for our 5th year, in an attempt to beat all known previous records of ladies cycling fields, 100% of the registration fee would be donated to the Greater Pittsburgh Women’s Shelter if the race broke 100 riders. 10 minutes later Ngani Ndimble and Franky Montenegro registered as 99 and 100 and a great cheer erupted around the hall. In that moment, hundreds of dollars were pledged to the Shelter and the Frigid Bitch established itself as Pittsburgh’s biggest ladies’-only race ever. Ten minutes after that, the rules and general info for the race were announced from the stage.

Make as many checkpoints as you can. Go in any order, via any route. Ride however you want, but DON’T GET HURT. Watch out for potholes. Make sure the volunteers get your spokecard number before you roll out! If Paul Beaver tries to make you do something stupid, don’t listen to him. Don’t give my volunteers any shit. Unless they’re Paul Beaver, then give him as much shit as you want. Checkpoints close at 2, race ends at 3. You must be back at Spirit at 3pm! When you get back, FIND ME to check in. Any questions???

From there, the crowd started heading outside to gear up, unlock their bikes, and pile onto the street. One of the volunteers walked out and said “Damn, there’s so many ladies out here! It looks like we’re about to take down the government or something!” Still 5 minutes from the start, the clusterfuck on 51st street started to back up towards Stanton ave. Incoming brunchers were stuck between Butler st and Spirit, and very few racers felt inclined to make way. The clock ticked towards noon. Returning 2017 racers laughed that the light at the end of the street would again be red for the start, so at the last second the proverbial starting shot was moved to the moment that light turned green. A panicky last-minute rider showed up to register, and 106 kick-ass Frigid Bitch racers surged forward towards the checkpoints!

THE CHECKPOINTS The Button The closest checkpoint to the starting location was the Button, a concrete slab on the side of the river that doubles as a semi-secret hang-out spot. The route map showed a set of railroad tracks at the end of a nearby street, which had to be followed on the diagonal across an off-camber grassy stretch. Originally, volunteers were going to stand on the button and make racers ditch their bikes, climb down a rooty mud cliff, and clamber up next to them to get credit for the stop. HOWEVER, when the guys arrived to set up the checkpoint, they immediately realized that was not going to work. The button was completely submerged in the river. No trace of it was there to be seen. So instead, they built a fire on the traintracks and told racers they’d make extra points for shotgunning a beer (untrue). "A" for effort!

Stanton Ave Another nearby checkpoint was not at all secret - the top of the well-known brutally long climb that is Stanton Ave. Impossible to approach from any direction without slogging up one of many hills, your only option is steep or steeper. A lot of racers opted to get this checkpoint out of the way first, and then stop for a minute for one of Bruce’s hot toddies at the fire station. Hell yeah!

Troy Hill Stairs For anyone who decided to hit the button first and then make their way west, the next checkpoint down the river was the massive staircase that connects the sidewalk along route 28 to Troy Hill. Shane was hanging out at the bottom to let everyone know that the checkpoint…was much closer to the top. Some carried their bikes with them (most ditched them with Shane, who ended up fixing a few), hiked up the winding steps and were greeted by a cheerleading squad toting pickles, pineapple, whiskey, and a cowbell. Zack was hopping around and playing “Ring My Bell” by Anita Ward over and over and over on his boombot, and Ryan was yelling for racers to…wait for it…. ring the bell! to get credit for the stop. Frigid Bitch volunteers are the best!

The West End Bridge Further down the river past the flooded out North Shore, riders had to find the staircase leading up to the West End Bridge’s pedestrian tunnel! Helpfully, Paul Beaver had decorated them out with balloons, and Tim brought back his creepy friend to point the ladies in the right direction. Colin had set up a camp stove with mulled wine and coffee in the tunnel for anyone who needed to heat up some. There was a group of ladies who sure enough, not realizing the river was flooded, not knowing another way around, made it to the washed out section of the trail and decided they were gonna just ride through the water, fuck it. “I didn’t know when I showed up for this race that I’d be biking through the Allegheny River!” Drenched, they rode with frozen feet, until Tim pulled a couple pairs of socks outta his truck and doled em out.

Water Tower on the Hill In the middle of the city, the diva of the checkpoints was the Hill District Water Tower. Anyone following the route map would go across Bigelow Blvd (either up the fast-paced bridge and through a shitty intersection, or along the sidewalk and then up and down the stairs to the pedestrian overpass), up a gnarly hill, up a worse hill, up a staircase, up a brick road, and then either find the dirt trail through the park or climb up a grass embankment where volunteers made them hug the water tower before they could move on. It ruled! Even riders who trekked their own way to the tower found themselves winding up potholed-nightmare roads and climbing other staircases.

The Wheel Mill and Pocusset The two furthest checkpoints out were also some of the most straight forward - pretty much everyone knows where the Wheel Mill is, and Pocusset is a street that’s been turned by the city into a cyclist-only road connecting Squirrel Hill to the Greenfield Bridge. The Wheel Mill, almost at the city limits, was the furthest checkpoint from the start. The lack of traffic on Pocusset is great, but it’s also a super windy hill, and one rider bombed down it so fast in her determination to kick ass she slid out, terrifying the volunteers. She knows how to power through tho, and made it to the finish beat up but in good time. Pittsburgh was flooding, but the temps were freezing and halfway through the race snow and sleet had started falling. When riders finished and bolted down the steps of Spirit to yell out their spokecard #s, water sprayed from their helmets, down their faces and careened off their noses and gloves to spray anyone around them. Alex K said she had to ride her fixie from the button to the finish line with her signature heart-shaped sunglasses clenched in her teeth bc they were all snowed over. Ladies arrived, soaked and grinning about how hard and terrible and awesome the race was. Women who had just moved here a few months ago came out and met new cyclists, complete strangers rode together, one racer said she had been spectating at the Dirty Dozen when a woman she didn’t know asked her if she’d ever heard of the Frigid Bitch. “No, but I googled it and it looked fun so I just came out!” They were packing into the bar, taking over the tables and floor space, ordering pizza and drying out while the numbers were crunched and the results were tallied.

The Results!! 1st place! Kelly Collier #3 Caryn Willis #6 Elise Rowe #10 Taylor Kyuk-White #666

5 - Franky Montenegro #102 6 - Monica VanDieran #4 7 - Jen Damon #42 8 - Suz Falvey #99 9 - Anna Biebersmorf #86 10 - Sarah Skelly #47 11 - Sarah Ralich #16 12 - Anna Barensfeld #11 13 - Robyn Brewer #8 14 - Kelsey Kradel #19 15 - Cora Devoir #45 16 - Barbara Jensen #32 17 - Heather Knupp #25 18 - Allison Glick #72 19 - Julie Baker #70 20 - Bernadette Brogden #67 21 - Alex Korshin #62 22 - Samone Riddle #64 23 - Jessie Appleman #44 24 - Laura SanBoeuf #77 25 - Alyssa Crawford #103 26 - Ru Emmons #43 27 - Chloe Newman #36 28 - Paige Anderson #48 29 - Naomi Anderson #34 30 - Megyn Sybeldon #35 31 - Katherine Jordan #84 32 - KateCampbell #41 33 - Alex Anna Angela Shewczyk #29 34 - Jamie Martina #69 35 - Cansu Ozen #51 36 - Shaena Ulissi #26 37 - Jane Runyan #63 38 - Maria Bajzek #22 39 - Paula Zamora #28 40 - Catherina Armbruster #50 41 - Sarah Pearman #53 42 - Lindsay Dill #97 43 - Ngani Ndimble #93 44 - Lauryn Stalter #101 45 - Lan Tran #95 46 - Romina Rozar #81 47 - Sara Khalil #74 48 - Tara Seplavy #55 49 - Ania Jaroszewicz #38 50 - Riesa Lirette #14 51 - Emily Palmer #92 52 - Elise Fantom #23 53 - Emily Persico #54 54 - Dani Kramer #7 55 - Beverly Bendax #107 56 - Dayana Rivadeneira #30 57 - Bonnie Weibel #76 58 - Genevieve Everette #37 59 - Mary Jackson #73 60 - Milo Spiders #13 61 - Hayes Vif #1 62 - Sabina Sloman #98 63 - Sarah Wasilewski #83 64 - Bridget McCoy #24 65 - Catherine Oldershaw #100 66 - Leah Nicolich #56 67 - Jaime Park #33 68 - Meghan Warren #58 69 - Morgan Tunstall #59 70 - Kacyn Keys #21 71 - Ellen Kiley #40 72 - Alex Falk #27 73 - Cindy Billisits #79 74 - Katt Schuler #96 75 - Jaclyn Sternick #75 76 - Ryder Lythos #80 77 - Tobin Seastedt #20 78 - Shannon Kenyon #12 79 - Erin Potts #60 80 - Molly Orzechowski #18 81 - Cat Woodson #31 82 - Susan Carlson #46 83 - Sally Folan #15 84 - Laura Jones #57 85 - Joanne Anderson #39 86 - Sara Crawford #49 87 - Rachel Ding #78 88 - Rebecca Jacobson #61 89 - Elayne Filio #17 90 - Nancy Jones #87 91 - Jolynn Gibson #2 92 - Maureen Duncan #9 93 - Athena Marsh #85 94 - Rachel Zaydak #52 95 - Katie Blackburn #65 96 - Joi Roboch #104 97 - Holly Wik #66 98 - Dirty Jones #71 99 - Erica Gamerro #88 100 - Demetra Czegan #68 101 - Amanda Glevicky #89 102 - Gina Gowins #91 103 - Megan Lovett #90 104 - Hana Swift #82 105 - Sarah Grossman #94 106 - Carrisa Mendez #105

The Donation This exhilarating bitch of a race definitely has its obstacles - from the cold, snow, ice, floods, stairs, mud, brick… - but registration fees won’t be one of them. As long as we are running it, it will always be $5. With 106 registered racers, all of whom made it to the minimum 1 checkpoint, the registration money in its entirety will be donated to the Women’s Shelter this year. Inspired by that goal, registration #s were matched by two outside benefactors, bringing the amount raised to $905. Congratulations to all the ladies who hauled themselves to Spirit; YOU made that happen! Two decades ago 100 pro cyclist women raced the streets of Pittsburgh in pursuit of the US championship and a $25,000 prize purse. This year at the Frigid Bitch you broke that record in the pursuit of alley-cat glory and support of victims of domestic violence. Pgh Babes on Bikes is so proud, and grateful for making our 100+ rider dream come true, we are going to bump that number up to $1,000. Cuz it just feels like a good number to put on a check. THANK YOU to all of the racers who came out to bust apart records, kick ass and grant wishes. Thanks to all the volunteers, for showing up, cheering, bringing hot booze, doing hilarious shit and gettin creative with your stops! Thanks to the photographers for memorializing this race forever and catching everyone’s glee and embarrassing moments! Thank you to the video team; we CAN’T WAIT to see what you do with the race footage! Thank you to my lovely assistants and stage bouncer, and to my little brother for the epic, amazing, incredible artwork. THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS, who donate mountains of swag so no matter how big our numbers get, everyone gets rad stuff!

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

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