#not everyone has time to go through every piece of dialogue

[themanwhomadeamonster]

me reminding dd players that so much of the worldbuilding and lore is inferred from npc dialogue and their routines and that you really should be paying attention to what anyone and everyone has to say because the series design intentionally wants you to look out for these things rather than just drop it on your lap and that's not necessarily a design flaw that's just their way of storytelling to line up with the game's thesis

[shiftinglea]

Death doesn’t exist.

Interestingly, in order for me to accept that I was the creator of my life, I had to learn more about death. It was a missing puzzle piece that allowed me to remember that I am God and can manifest whatever I desire.

But before that, I was quite doubtful about my ability to create. I would persist and believe (or try to anyway), but underneath all that, I had this encompassing fear of failure. Fear that by the end of my life, I would still not have succeeded with my manifestations. Fear of dying in regret and disappointment for not experiencing the life I desire.

And I thank my soul for guiding me to the book “Home with God” by Neal Donald Walsch, which allowed me to remember that there is no death. This book is a dialogue between the author and The God (aka the source of everything). When I was reading that book, it didn’t feel like I was learning something new. It felt like remembering something I already knew.

And in this post, I’ll be sharing information about death from that dialogue. Obviously, it’s your choice to believe it. But I would recommend you not listen to your mind. Listen to your soul; it speaks to you through your feelings. Intuition. Allow yourself to FEEL the information I’m sharing. Do not use logic for that; it’s quite limiting. So here we go:

Learning about death allowed me to stop fearing dying in regret and disappointment, which then produced confidence in my manifesting abilities and feeling at total peace every single day. There is nothing to be afraid of. Why? Because death doesn’t exist, and this is what I mean by that:

When people speak of death, they mean the end of life. But your life never ends. It’s the physical body that dies, and then at that moment, you discover that you are still alive. You keep on existing just in a different form. Death is simply an experience of leaving 3D and entering another dimension. And what’s the most fascinating thing: it’s different for everyone, or the experience of it is more like. Same with your life in physical form: it’s different for everyone depending on your beliefs, perception, and assumptions. You choose the experience of your life (consciously or unconsciously). The same with death: you choose your own experience of it. But what’s the same for everyone is that “death” has 3 stages.

The first stage is the same for everyone. “In stage one, at the moment of your death, you will instantly experience that life has gone on. This will be the same for everyone. There could be a brief period of disorientation, as you come to realize that you are not with your body, but, instead, are now separate from it.” During this stage, you realize even though your body died, your life hasn’t ended. For most people, it will be the first time they realize that they aren’t their bodies. The body is something you have. It’s not what you are. And then you move into the next stage.

The second stage is where everyone’s experience is unique depending on their beliefs about what happens after death:

• If you believe in reincarnation, for instance, you may experience moments from previous lives of which you have no previous conscious memory.

• If you believe that you will be enfolded in the embracing arms of an unconditionally loving God, that will be your experience.

• If you believe in a Day of Judgment or a Time of Reckoning, followed by paradise or damnation for all eternity, you will experience being judged and the judgment will turn out exactly as you imagined it would.

• If you died thinking that you deserve heaven, you will immediately experience that, and if you think that you deserve hell, you will immediately experience that. Heaven will be exactly as you imagined it would be, as will hell. If you have no idea about the specifics of either, you will make them up right on the spot. Then, these places will be created for you that way, instantly. You may remain in these experiences as long as you wish.

What’s important to know is that there is no Hell. But you can create hell for yourself if you choose to or believe that’s what you deserve.

However, you won’t stay there for one moment longer than you choose to. The moment you decide that you are done experiencing it, it’s finished. The same with Heaven.

Everyone remembers in the 2nd stage that they create their reality: in the physical and spiritual. In the physical realm, our creations may be delayed. But in the spiritual realm, our manifestations are instant. So you can experience whatever you desire for however long you wish. You can relive your life again or create a new one and enjoy that life for however long you want, and it will feel as real as in 3D. So during the 2nd stage, souls remember that they create their experiences and it’s instant. When they are done experiencing their creations, they move to the 3rd stage.

During the 3rd stage, you experience Ultimate Reality, which is merging with the Essence (God/Creator of all). You are enveloped with the infinite source of love and peace. You become one with The Creator. This is where you came from. It’s pure void. You are a pure being.

Every aspect of itself, every “good” and “bad” trait the soul thought it had is being absorbed by the Creator. It melts all shame, pride, fears, every character trait and leaves the soul with a beautiful emptiness. Experiencing nothing but Oneness. “Now you are merged with this Light and you feel dissolved. This “melting” completes the change in your identity. You no longer identify yourself in any way or at any level with the separate aspect of being that you called “you” in your physical life.”

The most fascinating thing is that you can experience the merging with everything during your physical life. This is what the void is for. When you reach the void state, you merge with Oneness where creation is instant.

During the 3rd stage of death, you can stay merged with the Creator for as long as you desire. But you won’t stay there forever because that’s it’s not what you desire. Because if you stay forever in this pure bliss and ecstasy, you would stop identifying it as “bliss” and “ecstasy”. Because there is nothing else there. There is no opposite of that. So you will desire to recreate yourself anew and choose your next physical incarnation because that’s the only way for you to experience your own magnificence.

The purpose of death is to reestablish your identity and to help you remember who you really are: One with God, an infinite source of creation. The purpose of physical life is to experience this knowing.

I want to point out the importance of your system of beliefs because they shape your life and your death (during the 2nd stage). You are constantly creating your reality. In physical life and after that. Some people think different rules apply in death (or in life). But no, it’s the same rules, the only difference is that your creations are instant after death. But again, they can be instant in your physical realm if you choose to believe that you can create instantly. It’s all about your beliefs and assumptions.

For most people who aren’t into LOA and don’t know that that’s are creators of their reality, their “death” will be the moment of remembrance that they are indeed creators. That they never stopped creating and they will see it clearly. But they don’t have to wait until death to experience themselves as God and creators. You can do it in physical life. It’s always your choice. You shape your life in physical and your life in spiritual.

For me, knowing more about death allowed me to stop feeling anxious about whether I’ll manifest my dream life before I die. The fact is that I never die, I just change my form. Life is eternal. It’s the body that dies. But you are not your body. It’s something you have. It helps you to experience wonderful things that you have chosen to experience.

[slayingfiction]

Weak Words To Cut

Here are some weak words than you can often remove to strengthen your writing. I have made these changes as I edit my own novel, so I included examples from my writing to show you the difference.

When editing and cutting words, we are not talking about dialogue because everyone has a unique way of speaking, and it’s important to keep true to their voice.

Note: these are all general guidelines, and you don’t have to use all or any of them. Creative writing gives you a creative licence to choose how you write. Do what works best for you. Always.

Suddenly: technically speaking, everything happens suddenly, so use the word sparingly or it will lose its effect.

I don’t remember ever seeing a man in such little clothes before, and I suddenly despised the one piece left. I don’t remember ever seeing a man in such little clothes before, and I found myself despising the remaining piece.

Keep: When it disrupts your character’s life, and you want your reader to really take notice.

Cut: if removed and there is no change, then it’s not necessary

Then/Next: this is typically a filler word. All events happen in a sequential state, so it’s not always needed.

Then She was gone, her steps echoing through the halls.

Keep: You want to keep the word typically when something is changing in action, description, etc.

Cut: If removing the word does not change the meaning, then cut it. Typically if this word starts the sentence, it’s unnecessary.

Just: this is a filler word, and can almost always be removed.

I was just a game to him, nothing more.

Keep: if removing it makes your sentence confusing or changes the meaning, then keep it. Usually using the word words well as a limiter word. (Eg. it’s just me and my dogs tonight)

Cut: when it’s unnecessary and changes nothing.

Really/Very: these are weak qualifying/descriptive words, and you can absolutely find a better synonym

Your mother is really nice lovely.

Keep: typically these words are fine to keep when not used to enhance an adjective. (Eg. very next day, really think, very back of…)

Cut: if it’s being used to enhance a weak adjective, cut it and find a better word.

Is/Was: this is usually a passive voice, which isn’t usually the best for fiction novels, active voice is always preferred. Naturally this is a verb that you can’t cut from all places, so here are some tips.

Everyone was too busy focusing on their shopping to notice a human sliding between sales booths. Buyers and sellers occupied themselves with their shopping, too focused to notice a human sliding between sales booths.

Keep: when delivering information quickly its always best to just state the facts, so don’t worry about trying to find flowery words to describe everything.

Cut: If you can show what the person or object is doing instead of simply saying it, then change the sentence.

Started: every action has a start, so don’t write it unless you can tell me why it’s important now to know that’s it’s started.

The boy started to rant in his native tongue. The boy ranted in his native tongue.

Keep: if your scene is being interrupted or is still unfinished, then go ahead. This one is a little harder to see sometimes, so just see how you feel with it in vs removed.

Cut: it’s it’s unnecessary information, and nothing changes to the story or sentence when removed, axe it.

Seemed: again, this is more of a show don’t tell kind of thing

Time seemed to slow slowed as I held Vera tight against me.

Keep: if a character knows something intuitively

Cut: if you can show why the character is perceiving what’s happening

Definitely: this is typically just confirming facts that are already known to be true. Repetition is unnecessary without a purpose.

He definitely saw me, but I wasn’t mad about it. (This instance can for sure be removed, it’s unnecessary. However, I want this emphasis here, so I chose to keep it)

Keep: if it’s your character who is confirming facts as 100% accurate and ridding previous doubt

Cut: remove and nothing changes

Somewhat/Slightly: usually this is used when only trying to use a partial effect of a word, so the easiest fix is to change the word that it’s describing.

I looked away, slightly embarrassed.

Keep: if the words is truly the best way to describe what was happening in the sentence.

Cut: when you can use a better word to describe your action/emotion/whatever to be more accurate or it’s unnecessary.

Possibly/Likely/Probably/May/Might: much like some of the other weak words, these are just filler. Something either is or isn’t, and it’s best to describe here you can.

Probably Not with the way he was speaking to her.

Keep: if your character isn’t sure of something

Cut: if you can describe what’s happening, or it can be removed without changing the meaning

Somehow: this is usually an indicator of missing information

I thought I was an average girl in every way, and now I was somehow the first human to ever survive. (I don’t use somehow often. I am keeping it in this instance because none of the characters know how it happened yet.)

Keep: if your character is missing the information and doesn’t know how something became true or transpired

Cut: if you can explain how something came to be.

Adverbs: this is a great category of words to use in writing, but if used too often, it can distract from the story. A good rule is finding an even balance between adverbs and active verbs.

I squeezed her cold hand tightly in mine and made a promise to save her. Clenching her cold hand between mine, I promised to save her.

Keep: if it improves your writing by making it more clear and efficient.

Cut: if it makes more sense to use active verbs to describe what’s going on.

Totally/Completely/Absolutely: all filler words

He grinned at me, his plate almost completely full while mine was near empty. He grinned at me, his plate still full while mine sat devoid of even a crumb.

Keep: if it’s important to the story to know with 100% certainty, and this word gives the most accurate description

Cut: whenever it’s not needed

Thing/It: missing information/ lack of description

I was just accepting all the things they said as truth. I was just accepting all their fantastic explanations as truth.

Keep: if your character doesn’t know what it is

Cut: whenever you can find an actually description or name the object

Have any more words you think should be added to the list? If something does not make sense or you have questions, let me know down below.

If you’ve found this helpful: comment, like, reblog & follow for more :)

Happy Writing!

[wszczebrzyszynie]

i know this has more than a year but i really can't find it in your blog, did you ever talk about the endings in your horror rpg maker hc au?

well i thought i did and then it turns out i didnt? and then it turns out neither me or @makowcy (co creator of all my aus ever) kept any text about it whatsoever because we discussed it all live durning the last days of school which was also a heatwave. and now we dont remember. so here is what we think we meant? at least things we managed to piece together on a 1.5 hour phone call. well have some never released mycelium RPG au art as well somewhere under the cut. first one made by aku. geniuely what made you remember that its been over a year now and there were only two loose idea posts about it. well do whatever you want with this

there were probably 5 endings, each corresponding to one of the characters (except for jimmy who dies early on and is a wake up call of sorts for grian)

pearl ending (bad ending) - pearl kills grian (player character) in the bossfight, wins and destroys the earth in her attempt to eradicate mycelium the martyn ending (neutral ending) - grian beats pearl (doesnt kill her) and becomes the personification of infection/mycelium (he is always the one to deal the final blow, as that is what ascends him to godhood. martyn knows this, hes using him as a sacrificial lamb); he becomes mother spore and gets backstabbed by martyn, who then kills him permamently using the special item we simply called "the weapon", which saves the earth from the mycelium apocalypse

big b ending (attainable through high relationship points with him) - martyn dies (somehow), grian doesnt become mother spore and instead gets mercy killed by him before the infection finishes him off. there is no pearl fight. he sets off to manually purify the earth as that is the power he has as what we called "pearls paladin" for simplicity

mother spore ending (attainable through high relationship points with martyn) - plays off normally, except martyn hesitates before killing grian (now mother spore), ending in his failure and death. mother spore is the last one left and infection thrives

scar ending (attainable through high relationship points with him): well this one is tricky as scar is a 4th wall breaking character. he knows whats going on at all times and that it is a game. to get it you need to get high relationship points with him, but also play the game at least once - otherwise things get awkward as he "doesnt really know you (grian and/or the player)". The choices required to gather the points go against every other character, and the correct answers to his dialogue options would be hidden in the game files somewhere; in general scar would have a "notebook" in the game files talking about different things. his relationship points dont reset with every savefile reset. once all requirements are met he can be invited into the party, but he declines and instead gives grian "the weapon", which he uses to permamently kill pearl, which also ends the world for everyone except grian and scar. i remember that scar considers it the good ending, because it takes a lot of preparation and therefore its an active choice grian/you make to make it happen, so its just... exactly what grian/you wanted

[beautysamour]

Your beauty never ever scared me

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: figuring out you were a descendant of the darkling messed up everything. with all the backlash you received because of this, your self esteem takes a blow. the company of a certain prince causes you to realize that you aren’t the monster you began to think you were.

warnings: some angst but this has a happy ending

a/n: the nikolai brain rot is real 😔🫶 enjoy! Also this is set before it’s revealed that mal is the third amplifier.

No. No, Baghra was wrong. You knew who you were and who your family was, she was wrong.

You’ve been going over the pieces of dialogue you had with Baghra ever since the sun set in your bed- well one of the palace’ bed. You couldn’t wrap your head around the idea of being related to him, to sharing his blood, his power.

To having any connection with the darkling.

You were never discovered by the grisha as a kid. Whenever the testers came by, your parents would give you a small cut somewhere on your body that could easily be hidden and at the time you didn’t think much of it- because you could barely remember them doing that.

You never had a good relationship with your parents so you didn’t think anything of it when they’d hurt you. It was just normal.

You never necessarily feared grisha, but you always feared the Fold and by extension, the power of the darkling. To think that all it would take for the Fold to get worse was to piss him off.

And piss him off you did.

During his little demonstration with Alina in the Fold, he tried to get you to join him thinking that you knew. That interaction finally made sense to you.

Feeling your head start to hurt and feeling even worse after realizing what’s in your blood, you turn off the lights in your room and go to bed.

—

“I hope I’m not ruining your day too much, sweetheart.”

Nikolai woke you up early this morning and asked for you to accompany him on a horse ride, “just for fun.” he said.

You knew better though, Nikolai never batted an eye at you since you boarded his- sturmhond-, ship. Alina was always more interesting. You knew that you were respected once you got the palace though, Tolya continuously singed out praises of your name to the army.

You knew that people in the palace had no problem with your presence, until now. Until people learned that you were grisha. Not everyone knows you’re related to the Darkling however, only a few people know.

Including Nikolai.

So you knew better. You knew that the only reason why you were with him right now is because he was told to keep an eye on you, to supervise you. You were now considered to be scum, as you were grisha.

“Wasn’t planning on doing much today, so I’m fine.”

You heard a soft snicker come from Nikolai’ direction but chose to keep your eyes forward and focused on the path in front of you two.

“Right,” he says with a slight grin on his face, “I’m glad, I’d never want to ruin a pretty girls’ mood.” From your peripheral you could see Nikolai observing you, looking for a reaction. He’s use to the normal flush of the cheeks and a stutter through a sentence, but you had no reaction to hearing him call you pretty. He had a rather flirty personality so his words meant nothing to you.

You remained silent hoping he would drop the conversation. You didn’t have anything against Nikolai, you actually really liked him. You could tell that he was going to be the king that Ravka needs.

But there was too much on your mind for you to be able to have small talk.

Nikolai suddenly let out a distressed sigh, “I have a meeting to get to sweetheart, if Vasily wasn’t getting on my back every hour of the day I would’ve stayed all day out here with you,” he pulls the reigns on his horse and turns towards the palaces’ direction, “let’s go back?” He gives you a small guilty smile and tilts his head resembling a puppy begging for a treat.

You nod feeing glad that you’ll be able to fully indulge in your thoughts and pull the reigns on your horse, riding back to the palace.

—

“She’s a monster!”

Nikolai was tempted to raise his voice, he and Vasily have been at it for the past hour. Yesterday, news got out that you were grisha- the soldiers gossip- and Vasily immediately told Nikolai that he should make you leave. Nikolai fought back against that idea and to get Vasily to shut up for at least a day about you, he agreed to “spy” on you.

“Nothing has changed, she’s still the same person Tolya constantly praised, and that you wanted as your bride.”

Nikolai did not want to have this conversation again. You were still the same girl he met on the ship, the two of you may have not interacted as much but he still saw you.

You were nothing like the Darkling and he had no problem reminding his brother of how infatuated he was with you.

“That was before I realized she was his kin, a monster just like him!” Nikolai clenched his jaw, finding it harder to control his raising temper. Vasily paced around his room, repeatedly mumbling out curses in the remembrance of previously touching you.

He was disgusted and he, like many other people in the palace, wanted you gone. He stopped pacing when Nikolai straightened his back before getting up from his chair and walking to the door of the room, indicating that this little meeting was over. “Nikolai,” Vasily called out in a strained voice, “Think about the people.”

Nikolai felt his body freeze. Think about the people. Oh, he was thinking about the people. You were no threat, maybe to your enemies but not his people. Not wanting to lash out at his brother, Nikolai took a sharp breath and rolled his shoulders back. “Good night, brother,” he decides to say. He faces his body towards him and while still trying to keep his composure, he sends his brother a sharp glare with eyes filled with pure irritation, “I will not change my mind.”

—

You pressed your head further into your pillow trying to block out the obnoxious knocks that were coming from your door. Who could possibly already be in need of your presence?

After a few more seconds of the continuous knocks getting more aggressive and louder, you gave in to the persistent demands for you to open the door and got up.

“It’s really quite early,” you said through loose lips. You abruptly finished your sentence, a slight feeling of panic rushing into your body. Nikolai Lantsov. He was here again, the people must be getting more weary of you if he felt the need to visit you again.

You didn’t bother fixing up your hair or straightening out your evening wear before opening the door and you greatly regretted not doing so at the moment, you dropped your shoulders feeling embarrassed that he saw you in an unprofessional state.

He put on a slight smile in attempt to charm you, which he succeeded at, you internally pushed away that feeling of giddiness and straightened your posture waiting for him to speak.

“Yes it is quite early, that’s why I came here,” his eyes trail down your body and back up to your eyes before outstretching an arm, “breakfast?”

“Uh,” you stutter out, “sure, just let me…clean myself up.” You awkwardly moved your gaze from him trying to avoid how awkward this situation was as you closed your door- his was mid sentence in saying of course he’ll wait- but your door closed before he was able to finish.

You sat down in the chair that was in front of a middle sized mirror just above the table. You stared at your reflection for a few seconds before bringing your hands up to cover your face and curling your body into yourself. You much prefer not having the Prince’ attention.

—

It’s been a little over three months since Nikolai invited you for breakfast and you’ve begun to question his actual intentions.

He comes to your room each morning and invites you for breakfast and shares most of his hours with you, but all of these hangouts tend to follow your own terms.

If you wanted to go back to your room, Nikolai would simply walk you to your room, kiss the back of your hand, and continue his day without you. Usually you’d be the one to reach out to him during these days if you decided you wanted to be outside your room again.

You almost forgot that he had a duty as being a prince and that you were related to their current number one enemy. And you almost forgot that people still feared grisha. Almost.

People talk and rumors spread fast, you and Nikolai weren’t invisible whenever you two walked around the palace grounds. Inevitably people began to gossip.

Nikolai was always with you, he spoke of finding a bride openly around you which has caused some people to theorize about your relationship with him. The most common theory was that you were using him, that you used your grisha powers as a threat against him, that you would hurt the people if he did not enter a romantic relationship with you.

You tried to block them out. Nikolai never brought those rumors up so you assumed he just never heard them, well you weren’t going to be the one to tell him about it. What if he hears them then realizes that they might be right, that he was an idiot for ever letting his guard down around you.

As much as you tried to ignore it, you couldn’t deny the way your heart would race every morning, every time he knocked on your door and offered his arm. Every time he’d invite you into his personal quarters and give you that stupid smile paired with a tilt of his head that made you want to do anything he’d ask of you.

He made you feel like you weren’t a monster, that you weren’t a threat. You didn’t want to loose his trust, and you didn’t want to loose him. The amount of trust he has put in you threw you in for a loop, you’ve been constantly arguing with yourself over whether or not he’s being genuine or is still keeping an eye on you.

You couldn’t fault him if he was just doing this to keep an eye on you still, the Darkling has been visiting you, just like he was been with Alina.

“Sweetheart?”

You immediately tore your eyes away from the food in front of you after hearing his voice. In front of you; Nikolai was leaning slightly forward his eyebrows furrowed giving his face a worried expression.

“Yes?” You replied. You don’t know how long it’s been since you zoned out, but when you pick up your silver ware to put some of the food in your mouth it was cold.

Nikolai let out a breath that you didn’t realize he was holding, “Did you hear what I said?”

Shit.

You opened your mouth to say a lie, yes, but you knew that he’d immediately call your bluff. He was observant, too observant sometimes. He had a talent for reading people.

“No,” you decided to say, “sorry, I zoned out.”

He leaned back in his chair and relaxed his eyebrows, sighing while running a hand through his hair. “I’ve been telling you about my day and you zone out? Do I really not matter to you?” He whines.

Nikolai had a thing for theatrics, especially when it was to tease someone. Seeing that you had no regret in your gaze towards him, he lets out another breath and gives in to the smile he was holding back.

“That’s alright, this means that I can spend more time with you.” His wholesome smile now turning into a flirtatious grin, he puts his forearms on the table and leans closer to your face, “I do quite enjoy your company anyways.” His smile slightly drops as his eyes also fall to your lips then back to your eyes.

Lately you two have been having more moments like this, where the two of you fall into moments like these where Nikolai’ flirting feels more genuine.

The one thing that hasn’t changed throughout these few months of you two hanging out was that you knew better. Flirting was a regular thing for Nikolai, and because of that you let out a laugh causing Nikolai to lean back; seeming to now be avoiding your gaze.

“Nikolai, don’t tell me you’ve fallen for me? The big bad grisha,” you tease. You felt a little disappointed at seeing that he was avoiding your gaze, Nikolai wasn’t the type to back away from flirting. You lean forward on the table, “Saints Nikolai, if you’re going to flirt then at least commit to it.”

Taking your teasing tone as a dare, he returned his gaze to you and leaned forward on the table coming dangerously close to your face. This time you were taken aback, and ever the observer, he saw. He accompanied his smug expression with a smirk, “Is that what you want? For me to commit? To you.” His voice turned into a whisper as he finished his sentence.

He waited for you to do something. He wanted to see how long you’d last, for what exactly, well only Nikolai really knows that.

You counted your heartbeats, and three heartbeats later Nikolai dropped his gaze and turned his head as he let out a snicker, “Just messing around princess,” he straightened his back and got out of his seat, “we leave before sundown.”

You watched as he left the dining area, a little confused at what he meant about leaving before sundown but then you remembered; the mission.

“Shit.”

—

“Nikolai,” you called out to him as you walked into his tent, “why is my tent all the way on the other side of camp?”

This mission really wasn’t that dangerous compared to everything else that was going on but you didn’t want to gamble Nikolai’ life, since he was a prince.

“Good evening to you to sweetheart,” he said in a lighthearted tone before putting down the letter in his hand, “can’t keep your mind off of me?”

He was right, you couldn’t.

You let out a scoff slightly annoyed, “What if you get attacked? And I’m all the way on the other side of camp- I wouldn’t be able to help!”

Mirroring his actions earlier in the day, his refused to meet your gaze as he leaned back in his chair. “If I were to get attacked, you’d be safe. I have people with me- fighters who’ll be able to protect me if I somehow am not able to protect myself. You don’t need to worry.”

You exhaled as you felt yourself deflate. You wanted to say more but you knew that it wouldn’t matter once the conversation ended. All you would’ve succeeded at was creating some unnecessary tension between the two of you, with you being annoyed, which Nikolai thought was already out of character with you getting upset about something so small, and Nikolai being busy.

You glanced back at him before turning around to leave his tent, resembling a toddler who got upset after hearing they couldn’t get a toy they wanted.

Hearing your footsteps get further away, Nikolai lifted his head and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before shaking his head and picking up the letter again.

—

Nikolai lifted his head from his desk as soon as he heard a deafening scream, immediately on high alert and running out of his tent. The first thing that greeted Nikolai were soldiers running. Tents were on fire and the once peaceful camp was now overwhelmed with chaos.

Instead of his first thought being to get his people out of this ambushed camp, which was his second, he wanted to get to you. Now he regretted putting your tent on the other side of camp, now he had no idea where you were or if you were ok.

He started running to your side of the camp before getting blocked by a drüskelle-

“Desjenet!” yelled out the drüskelle. Nikolai began to reach out for his sword but made no action to take it out yet. “I’m not grisha-“

“But you protect them,” seethed out the drüskelle, “you are an enemy if you protect them.”

Not leaving anytime for Nikolai to respond, the drüskelle lunged forward but was never able to make contact with Nikolai. The man began to sway before falling apart. His head, upper body, and lower body all disconnect from each other as he falls to the ground, a dark wisp of smoke fading into the air as he does.

Nikolai didn’t take much time looking at the corpse in front of him when he heard another scream, forcing him to look up and see who was responsible for the death.

You. There you are standing in front of him, seemingly frozen in place and regret immediately floods into your veins. You just killed some using his power. You looked up at Nikolai and suddenly felt the need to throw up. So much to not wanting him to see you as a monster.

Nikolai, remembering that someone screamed, moved his gaze to the soldier a few feet away from you who had seemed to have seen you kill a man using the Darkling’ power. “Monster…” the soldier whimpered out before running away.

Nikolai had the urge to curse out his soldier but swallowed that urge down, the camp was still on fire and the two of you needed to get out. He ran over to you and grabbed you by the arm. “Are you alright,” he asks. You avoid his gaze. When you don’t answer he begins to start running, with his hand still on your arm dragging you through the camp, trying to find a horse.

He felt you stiffen and he felt you resist your urge to pull away from him. He wanted to look back at you, to talk to you face to face and assure himself that you’re alright but he decides against it. You guys will talk once you get back to the little palace.

—

You’ve been in Nikolai’ personal quarters before but you’ve never been on his bed. You’re sure your thoughts would’ve been completely incoherent if you weren’t so caught up about using the cut.

Saints, you were truly a monster.

Nikolai entered the room, he was checking up with his soldiers and making sure everyone or at least most of the people who were at the camp came back here. If there were any that didn’t, a rescue squad was already sent out.

You didn’t bother to look at Nikolai as he sat down on the edge of his bed next to you. You couldn’t look at him, you didn’t even want him to speak. You couldn’t bare to hear him call you a monster-

“Are you alright,” he says instead.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

He chuckles. You thought you’d never hear that again, you never he thought he’d bring you back to the palace.

“I’m alright. Now, are you going to give me an answer?”

You don’t give him an answer for a few seconds. Then suddenly the confusion become to hard to contain, “Why did you bring me back here?”

He turns his head to you and tilts it, now being the confused one, “You’re one of my soldiers, why would I not?”

“Because I’m a monster!” You blurt out. You don’t get why he cared, and now you’re really questioning if he was just spying on you the entire time or not, it seems like he was not.

“I’m not just a grisha Nikolai, I’m related to the enemy, I used to his power to kill someone right in front of you! Now everyone in the palace knows I’m related to him, all the soldiers are weary of me and it makes it even worse that I’m close to you. You’re reputation is getting corrupted because you’ve been seen with me.”

He doesn’t answer, he just keeps his eyes on you and lets you continue.

“The people think I’m- that I’m using my power to manipulate you and seeing how you had no reaction to me using the cut, they might come to some stupid conclusion that you’re actually conspiring with the enemy-“

“Y/N.” He finally interrupts, “Is that what’s been on your mind for these past few months?”

The last time he called you by your name was when he was Sturmhond. Hearing him call you by your name succeeded at making your heart ache even more.

“Yes,” you say, “so I don’t understand why I’m still here.”

You turn your head to meet his eyes and regret it immediately. The amount of intensity in his eyes is enough to make you choke on your saliva.

“Do you want to take a shower?” He asks. You can’t figure out if he’s trying to change the topic or maybe you just smell that bad. Maybe changing the topic is what you needed before you end up having a full on mental break down in front of him.

“Ok,” you whisper. Nikolai gets up and walks to his bathroom, soon you hear the sound of water entering his bathtub. Noticing that you didn’t follow him, Nikolai sticks his head out of his bathroom and gestures you to come into his bathroom.

Even though the atmosphere was rather uncomfortable, you still…liked him. So being invited into such a personal space still managed to make you shy.

Nikolai is leaning against his bathtub when you enter his bathroom. Hearing you enter, Nikolai lifts his head up to look at you then glances at your face, your hair, and your body before getting up to give you some alone time.

Getting a random surge of boldness you grab his hand and keep him in place. He turns his head to look at you and tilts his head in confusion, once again resembling a puppy.

“Can you…stay,” you cringe internally after hearing those words come out and avoid his gaze as you feel your cheeks flush. You hear a cough, as if someone was trying to stifle a laugh.

“Ok.”

You’re thankful that he doesn’t tease you for asking him to stay, the atmosphere is still rather uncomfortable for that.

He keeps his back turned to give you some privacy as you undress. Once you finish undressing, you fold your clothes and tuck them into a corner that you were sure wouldn’t get wet.

You cleared your throat once you fully got into the tub, “You can turn around now.”

From your peripheral, you see Nikolai sit down on a stool that was right next to his bathtub. “Do you need help cleaning yourself?” He asks.

You should’ve shaken your head because you’re fully capable of cleaning yourself, but you couldn’t fight back the giddiness in you that manifested at the thought of a physically intimate moment with Nikolai. So you nod.

Nikolai picks up a small towel and rubs it on a bar of soap before putting it on your body. You hoped he wasn’t able to see your red face as you flushed even more when he started moving the towel.

“You aren’t a monster.” He says instead once again, “You haven’t changed at all,” you turned your head to look at him but he didn’t meet your eyes, his eyes focused on your body as he cleaned it. “You’re still the same girl that boarded Sturmhond’ ship. You’re still caring, and thoughtful. You still overthink and stress too much on what other people think of you, but you’re also confident at the same time. You know your worth and you simply want to make sure other people do to.” He moves you hair out of the way as he moves the towel to the back of your neck.

“Actually maybe you aren’t the same girl I met. But you’re not to blame for that.” You didn’t think it was possible but your heartbeat began to thump even harder at feeling his hand, even though it was separated by a towel, on your neck. Oh, and also by his words. You didn’t think he noticed you that much when he was Sturmhond.

Suddenly he looked up and you looked away.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc-

“You aren’t the Darkling. You saved me. Well I mean, drüskelle are strong, I admit, but they wouldn’t have been able to kill me.”

You could hear the grin on his face, it was attempt to lighten the mood, to see if you felt better.

“You’re power doesn’t determine what you are, Y/N, how you use it determines that. And as far as I’m concerned, you haven’t used it unjustly.” He curled his index finger under your chin and put his thumb on your chin to turn your head, so you’d finally be looking at him. “Don’t let your fear of your power determine your worth.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you got lost in his eyes. Yes, you were listening to him and it made your heart ache in a good way at hearing his words, but feeling his touch made it difficult to concentrate.

“Ok,” you whispered. You looked down, fully processing his words. You weren’t a monster. You weren’t a monster.

You weren’t a monster.

Noticing the sides of your lips slowly lift, Nikolai felt a small smile form on his face and lets go of your face. He failed to see how the sides of your lips slightly went down.

Feeling that the atmosphere felt more light, you attempted to make a joke, “Well, are you just going to sit there?”

“Hm?” Nikolai raises an eyebrow at your question. Did you want him out…?

“You’re not going to join me?”

Without missing a beat, Nikolai speaks up, “Do you want me to?” It wasn’t meant to be teasing, but it easily came off as such.

Fully expecting Nikolai to say something a little more…bold, his nonchalant yet teasing question caused you to look away from him, again, feeling embarrassed at your bold “joke.”

Nikolai lets out a laugh that makes you swoon. Saints, the affect this man had on you was embarrassing.

“Saints Y/N, if you’re going to flirt then at least commit to it.” He says, mirroring your previous conversation.

You turn your head back at him and take a moment to figure out what you want to say in return, you decide to say something you’ve heard before. Leaning slightly towards him but still managing to cover your cleavage, you say, “Is that what you want? For me to commit? To you.”

Nikolai freezes completely, not sure how to react to that. Yes, he wants you to commit, he wants you, but do you want him? He’s sure that he’s been interpreting your feelings as romantic correct, but he still had that thought of just maybe, maybe he was wrong.

Nikolai was never one to back off from a challenge however, so he leans forward and rests his forearms of his knees; leaning in closer to your face, “Yes,” he says, “I do.”

He brings one his hands up to the side of your face and cups it, leaning in closer but leaving enough room to still be able to back away if he was reading this all wrong. He looks into your eyes and practically pleads for your approval, for you to let him kiss you.

When all you do is lean closer, Nikolai fully closes the distance and connects his lips with yours.

As one could expect from a kiss with Nikolai, it was passionate and loving and deep. You could feel how deep his feelings for you ran and you could feel all of his feelings. Growing impatient, for some reason, Nikolai grabbed the back of you neck to deepen the kiss. He brought his other hand up to your bottom lip and brushed it down. Realizing what he wanted, you opened your mouth and to your surprise; Nikolai whined into the kiss.

Finding it funny that Nikolai was a whiner, you began to laugh. It started with small giggles but then turned into actual laughs causing Nikolai to pull away and slightly deadpan at you.

When you didn’t stop laughing, Nikolai leaned back and let out a sigh, opting to just let you finish laughing.

“Sorry, sorry, just didn’t take you as a whiner,” you say before you burst out laughing again.

Nikolai continued to watch you laugh with a slightly annoyed, but adoring, expression before brushing your hair out of your face. “You know, you never answered my question.”

You wipe fake tears out of your eyes as you try to calm down, “huh?”

“When I asked if you wanted me to commit to you, you never gave me an answer.”

“I think my answer is quite obvious now.” You let out a soft laugh before Nikolai spoke again.

“Yes well, I want to hear it.” Nikolai leans forwards again but not as close as before, just close enough to where he could you whisper yell, “I want to hear that you want me.” He finishes with a slight smirk.

You look away from him, getting flustered again. He really wanted to hear you profess your feelings for him, huh.

As you were getting flustered you remembered that Nikolai was a whiner. As much as you wanted Nikolai, he was arguably more desperate for you. So why not tease him a little more?

You leaned forward again, not bothering to cover your cleavage anymore, and pressed your lips onto his, but not necessarily kissing him. “Alright my prince,” you whisper out. The smirk on his lips immediately drop as he tries to kiss you again but then you pull away, and before he could whine again, you leaned forward again. “I want you to commit to me. I want you.” Nikolai could barely focus at feeling your lips brush onto his, feeling as if he didn’t kiss you right here right now, he’d go crazy.

Feeling smug, you pull away from him to which he immediately follows. He puts his hand on the back of your neck once again and pulls you forward, connecting your lips again.

He groaned this time at the feeling of your lips on his.

[gargyshmub]

DELTARUNE; Gargy's Fairytale Theory

So, lately I've kind of had an itch in the back of my mind about DELTARUNE, more specifically the secret or hidden bosses in the game and a little correlation they all share. I'll try to keep this under 100 pages but i promise nothing (tee hee hee)

If you've played the game to the extent you're looking at a tumblr blog dedicated to it, you're probably familiar with the character's jevil and spamton. These are the two characters coined by the community as "secret bosses", since you have to stray away from the games intended path to find them (in most cases.)

When you defeat spamton in his 'NEO form', a neat little song will play with his dialogue "a real boy!", this is a nod to the fable/fairytale "pinochio" I'm sure everyone's familiar with. It's a story about a doll that comes to life in search of becoming 'a real boy'. This corrilation made me realize there are A LOT of similarity's between pinochio and spamton. The strings, his regular form being a mockup of a doll, even his goal to become "big", its almost like becoming a 'real boy'. He knows he's not 'real', and just like at the end of pinochio, he too becomes renewed (reneo'd).

This made me wonder if the other secret boss, Jevil, represented something other than the Joker card. Then I realized whenever he was hit in his fat empty head it actually sprung out like a jack-in-the-box. I initially discarded this since it wasn't really a fable or fairy-tale, but if you do some digging you'll find it actually is!!!@! back in the 1400's somewhat, the jack in the box was originally named 'The Devil in the Box', essentially it's a story about a man who trapped a devil in a boot in order to save a village in france at the time, kinda like that one story about the court jester who got locked away by his magician friend in order to save their kingdom (haha. hahahahha. thats from deltarune. hahaha.) just to run home my point, jack-in-the-box; Devil in the box. Jack; Devil. What way could you fuse them together? Dack? Jackil? maybe some other 3rd way that has some importance to Yea thats right you know you've always known its Jevil.

Obviously, in deltarune fashion, its easy to overthink most elements in the story. Granted, toby will make an entire 2nd game about a hypothetical character you've never met but no you've only ever POSSIBLY met through a 1/100 chance door where he'll show you his asshole and then disappear into a million pieces, but yea, it's easy to make certain correlations that aren't even really there. In this case however I'd say that there's one more correlation that seals the deal that makes this theory WORTH theorizing.

Yea gaster. even though he's not even technically a character yet, every piece of information regarding him seems to lead people to believe he's not only the narrator at the beginning of the game, but he's also the 'man' behind the tree (since the way you find 'his sprite' in undertale is almost exactly similar ['theres a room in-between, theres a room, in-between']). I'm assuming you know what there is to know about gaster so im not gonna go into it, so onto the correlation.

I've read before someone talking about how gaster represents easter eggs in video games, not only physically (egghead) but metaphorically (the way you find him, his implied involvment with the secret bosses, the fact he gives you an '''''EGG''''' when you DO find him). Well if he is technically involved with the secret bosses, wouldn't that make him a fable too? I'm here to tell you he is. he is HUMPTY DUMPTY from SECOND GRADE FAIRY TALE PLAY.

I've already gone over his physical and metaphorical symbolism relating to eggs, but the story of humpty dumpty is also very, haha, hahahaha, hahahhahahaha

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall (The Core)

Humpty dumpty took a big fall ("Fell into his own creation")

All the kings horses and all the kings men (Who did gaster work for again?)

Couldn't put Humpty together again ("He was shattered across time and space")

What could this mean? for the future it means that if this theory is right, EVERY secret boss we meet is gonna represent not only a lightworld object, but an actual FAIRTY TALE, a FABLE. I mean, how many fables are out there. I know theres one in particular, one that the game is named after, one that has to do with an ANGEL. an ''''ANGEL'''' with ''''TATTERED WINGS''''''.

but then again idk

EDIT: ALSO LITTLE MISS MUFFET THINK ABOUT THAT UNDER-HEADS LITTLE MISS MUFFET SAT ON HER TUFFET

Last edit: also this has no grounds as an actual theory but uhhh that mf that made the Undertale RED boss fight got hired on the team. Huh. I wonder what Red was a reference to. Huh.

[ghostiequill]

Mihawk x Librarian

Can be read as gender neutral reader

please go easy this is literally my first ever fanfiction lol

Let it be known that Lord Dracule Mihawk was a romantic at heart.

Every mission that he decides to grace the Marines with his presence, he rewards himself with the sappiest, most bodice ripping book he can find

He wasn't embarrassed, why would he be? Every man has his vices and his was far more healthy than the heathen souls he had come across along his travels

If anyone has a problem with them, they dare not say for his hawk eyes practically bore into their soul, silently challenging them to comment 

So when he docked on your island after a mission, he dedicated to make the trek to the small, and only, bookstore in town- your bookshop

You were proud of the tiny establishment you managed to build up over the years. The walls, up to the ceiling were smothered in books of every genre you had managed to get a hold of. The cozy atmosphere emphasized with plush oversized couches, mismatched bookshelves, and knick knacks that you’ve collected over the years that you just couldn't leave the store without

Walking in, he was immediately hit with the smell of the used pages of well loved books and the coffee that patrons had had before.

Silently scoring the shelves, his eyes looking for the prey he planned to devour, luckily for everyone with fighting experience he had only planned to devour a good book

Looking through the brightly colored spines, one managed to catch his eye-a soft pink cover with a woman fainting in a man’s arms, reading the back. Satisfied, he tucked it under his arm and made his way to the front counter where you sat reading.

You were leaning over the counter, thoroughly engrossed in your novel, twirling a piece of hair in your fingers. Your eyes quickly scanning the pages of the book as you heard a polite cough from in front of you

Embarrassed, you hastily put a bookmark in your spot and shoved in back under the counter as you turned towards your patron

Your face lit up as he placed his novel on the counter. You started ranting about how much you loved the author, how much the romance genre was underrated and overdramatized by those foolish enough to not partake in it, citing that they were just too afraid to admit their own love for trash

He remained silent. Now to the untrained eye, Mihawk could have been seen as bored, but this was entirely untrue. He didn't believe in love at first sight, but you apparently existed to challenge that perception. Your passion and enthusiasm was utterly infectious and he couldn't help but sink into your words, eagerly awaiting your next sentence.

Realizing you had yet to hear a reply, you faced the person who decided to buy and your face dropped, Dracule Mihawk-looking like he got ripped straight out of one of the covers of your favorite novels with his sharp jawline, piercing eyes, strong arms, and the fashion of one of the pirates that you once dreamt would sweep you off your feet and whisk you away on the adventure that you had read countless times before 

You had tried to stutter out an apology before he put a hand up, suddenly silencing you

After the shock had worn off, you had managed to slowly start making small talk about more of the books you had read of the romance genre getting more and more excited the more you talked

Mihawk found it adorable the way your eyes lit up and tried to continue this conversation as long as he could, steering it in direction, demanding the waters of the conversion as he steered it in the ways that made you smile the most

Mihawk regaled you with the many tales and summaries of the books he's read before, making you laugh at their extravagant plot holes and extreme dialogue.

A lull in the conversation eventually developed, making you realize again who you were talking to, making you blush and look down

Mihawk studies your face for a moment, a strange itch causing him to miss your enthusiastic voice

You quickly write up his book and before handing him his receipt, you pause, write something down unable to make eye contact as you hand him the folded receipt and the book

Mihawk politely tips his hat and turns to leave, unfolding the receipt he stops in his tracks: 

“Are you a library book, ‘cause I’d love to check you out” with a lopsided wink and your number scrawled at the bottom

He turns around, amusement playing at his lips as he sees you blatantly staring, realizing you got caught and trying to quickly duck behind the counter

Mentally berating yourself at the stupid pick up line, why would this ever work? He’s a warlord- prim, proper, and powerful. He was just making polite conversation why would be be interested in you-

“You know, if you wanted my number you could have just asked” a smooth voice above you says. “I would have gladly given it up”

You slowly stand up, eyes darting to his face to try to see if he was making fun of you or not. 

Seeing the little bookstore owner that he had witnessed so passionately defend their trash books now suddenly overcome with shyness made Mihawk very amused. He quickly scrawled his number at the bottom

“I look forward to talking with you” He smiled, tipped his hat and made his way into the crowded street

You were awestruck, you had just managed to get the number of the Dracule Mihawk. Clutching the receipt to your chest, you couldn't help but smile. What's the rule of how long you could call again?

Both of you were unsure of where this next chapter of life would lead you, but both of you felt a sense of optimism of what was to be.

[androgymess]

ARCANE SEASON 2 YAP FEST, SPOILERS season 2 is rushed, to no ones surprise since netflix put a gun to everyone's head for an early release, but that aside, i do personally enjoy reading between the lines of the show

the jesus (smtimes moses) and judas (ramses can apply too) depiction of viktor and jayce, ambessa's protectiveness over mel making some real sense now, amebessa's foreshadowed death and mel picking up the pieces in the intro etc etc, all good stuff

i LOVE this season dont get me wrong, but the speedrunning and time skips (esp when caitlyn goes through TWO ARCS, IN LIKE, SPLIT SECONDS?) i do fucking hope she has not forgiven jinx all willy nilly after becoming reincarnation of hitler for a good minute there

like PLEASEEE TAKE UR TIME, WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A SEASON 3 MAN. or atleast let the writers cook up for another 3 years, i LOVED the current two arcs of season 2 but i mourn the lack of fucking dialogue? jayce and viktor barely talking is crazy to me?

relying on songs (which are bangers) to carry the emotional weight of your scenes, we have MORE fight scenes than dialogue between important characters, i loved s1 because the characters...talked, you could fill in the subtext there too, at some point s2's subtext was just me over-reading into every aspect of the show, isha is a plot device at the end of the day, the noxian storyline didn't have enough time to stand on its legs, idk, show me more scenes with caitlyn going further unhinged and drowning in mourning that causes more death to people

plus the black rose stuff is...idk? introduced too quickly, that is one of the main problems with the show, it expects people to get emotionally attached to certain things or characters and neglects alot of its core cast in favor of progression

but when the plot starts progressing without your characters, it makes me as a viewer also lag behind. before anyone comes for my neck, like i said i LOVE seasons 2, i love it enough to be critical of its shortcomings in my humble nobody opinion, i loved not being spoonfed and babied by the show. i can even look past the pacing issues, but the plot devices we got this season is crazy, one offs, first draft storylines as one of my friends said, but eh, better we get arcane than have netflix cancel it.

to wrap this up, they are gonna explore more league storylines, probably in the works already so that is something to look forward to

[pvnks0ul]

NSFW ALPHABET WITH RIRI

⚠: Obvi 18+!! almost every piece has SMUTTT or implied smut, amateur smut writing (a legitimate warning🙇🏾‍♀️), kinky stuff, reader kinda has a pain kink oops-, oral/tribbing/fingering/strap on sex, this is not for everyone!!!, mean!riri makes a few appearances, real long, little to no dialogue (sawry), dom!riri supremacy, sub!f!reader, kinda pillow princess reader but also nawt really, skimmed but not proofread!

Reminder that these are all my opinions & headcannons!! if you see something you don't agree with, ignore or don't read/nm

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

If you're riris girl, then there's no such thing as one-sided.

First things first tho, she's definitely not the kind of person who believes in using a wet towelette or wipes because...no

Riri is completely aware to the fact that sometimes she goes a little overboard and might've left you a little jelly legged so she never has a problem carrying you to the bathroom even when she can tell you just want to be carried, after she'd gotten a warm bath going.

Once she's in the tub, you'd be leaning back on her bare chest for support as she used your loofah to rid your skin of sweat and the sticky globs of cum between your legs & sometimes breast,applying your favorite soap to the scrub before coating over every incqh of your body with it. You were nodding off when she nudged you a bit while kissing the back of your neck, a signal that you knew meant it was her turn.

You found yourself facing riri while sitting on your knees, maneuvering slower than average and a lot slower than riri was as you used her rag to clean around her small tits, swiveling down her toned stomach, snickering to yourself when you got down her happy trail, hovering over her mound and caught her getting a little jumpy before she winced.

When you were done though, she rewarded you with one sloppy kiss to the lips and a sleep coated, "thank you, baby." her breath fanning against your wet mouth before she gripped the edge of the tub to support her as she stood.

B = Body part (their favorite body part on their partner’s)

thighs, thighs, thighs.

Riris hands always seem to find their way atop your clothed thighs, squeezing them when she's bent over laughing at something you said (it wasn't even funny foreal and left you feeling really confused), rubbing them up and down unconsciously and you let her until they start to turn into the space between them and that's when you reach for her fingers and entangle them with yours, it's your slick way of telling her to stop her teasing.

Riri loves watching the fat of your thighs spread when you sit down(specifically on her).

Imagine you'd just spontaneously decided to spend the night at riris after chilling with her for the day and having no other choice but to slip on her big Chicago's Bull shirt & a pair of her boyshorts that seemed to always fit you more than snug. That dangerous combination results in her eyes never leaving your soft thighs in the black fabric when you exit her bathroom with them on.

She's eyefucking you so hard, her tongue poking out over her bottom lip and the sad part is she thinks you don't notice at all- You do!

Riri doesn't even realize she's been caught till you're pushing her back on the full size mattress and climbing ontop of her with your legs set on either side of her.

When she looks up, you're smirking slyly at her, her shirt on you tied behind your back with a rubber band and she can make out small indents of your nipples hardening in real time against the polyester piece. Her breath catches in her throat at the sight and she swears she's in heaven at this very moment.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She'd make sure to get a taste every single time 🫠

Thinking about how Riri would be talking you through your orgasm, your legs spasming on her shoulders as she continued to fuck her fingers into you, curling them whenever your pussy would clenched around her pointer & middle so hard that she couldn't push them in any further than the knuckle, your back arching off the bed when she started petting your gspot with as much aggression as she could with just her fingertips.

She feels the small spurts and knows what's coming so she lowers her head right over your pussy, opening her mouth, You scream out her name when you finally feel that knot snap and jerk forward as squirt all over her sheets, chest and lower face ; she's caught a good amount, relishing in the tangy taste before moving up to kiss you, shoving her tongue in your mouth so you could get a taste while simultaneously lowering you back down against the mattress, rubbing your belly till your breathing patterns finally returned back to normal.

Definitely one of her favorite parts of the ordeal.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It's not that dirty but, she likes watching you change.

It's supposed to be innocent...so she can't help feeling so unclean when she feels her lower half getting all jumpy & hot at the thought of it but it's also kinda like a strip tease for her eyes only...and when you ask her to help you pick out what to wear it doesn't make it any better, she'd be biting her lips the whole time, eyes slowly raking up and down your almost naked figure as she twitched on the edge of her seat.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

honestly, as much as I'd like to lie and say you were her first for the sake of me wanting to be riris everything- she's probably not a virgin because she'd definitely have quickies or flings (with the same 1 or 2 ppl).

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position that gives her access to comfortably gauge your reactions and simultaneously grip, knead, and smack at your plush ass or whatever else she wanted to do with it

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

A healthy mixture of both.

If Riri says something that sounds too outlandish for her even she's gonna crack- she has to take a second to rethink everything as well because there's no way she was so horny she just said that shit- and when she sees your lips flattened to a thin line trying not to laugh at her she's asking you "what's so funny?", she brings her face closer to yours, "you laughing at me, girl?" You shake your head, throwing your hand over your mouth to muffle your chuckling before she rolling her hips into your pelvic bone, the thick dildo attached to her strap scraping the surface of your gummy walls so deliciously, and she's there marveling in the way it makes your eyes roll to the back of your head almost immediately with a smirk already gracing her lips, "mhm."

"That's what I thought."

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The landing strip or Well trimmed ; like i don't mean she just cuts it short but not bald, I mean she actually grooms her shit- not with a brush or comb or anything but you can tell some care & thought went into the trimming process...

preserve the happy trails

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Kinda like what I said in E but I'm happy to elaborate;

with Riris old flings she never had a reason to do the little things that shows she cared ; holding their waist to help them get situated, any kind of foreplay that required kissing, letting them stay till they get theirselves together, not even facing them half of the time, it wasn't anything personal but if you came over for a quick fuck you shouldn't be expecting a warm bed to sleep in after, from her. She didn't want to be in their visual vicinity so what makes them think-

It really depends on the connection she has to that person! No one who's messed with riri gets pampered like you.

When it comes to the intimate aspect with you though? she's never done any of what she does before you; entangling your fingers together for support when she's on top grinding her viscid clit over yours, feeling your hands desperately grasp at her face for a kiss and actually granting it, kissing away the salty tears before they could reach your chin, and it's worth it in her book because for the first time since you've been together you're not covering your face from her when she's drilling your guts (basically) with her strap and it makes her feel like you're trusting her more, it warms the heart in her chest- & vagi- It's incredibly new to her and the freshly developed soft side for you always seems to surprise her more each & every time.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Her go to would definitely be a vib or something with suction like a rose. Even though she'd prefer to wait for you, if you're not around or just not in the mood she's a big girl; she knows how to take care of herself- which is rare but that doesn't mean nonexistent.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Power play, mommy kink, and hear me out...Erotic Asphyxiation

It honestly wasn't her thing until she heard it coming from your mouth.

She was at your dorm immediately after you told her you didn't have any plans for the rest of the day besides studying, your leg was thrown over her waist, as your hands cascaded up and down her toned stomach, eyes feeling heavy with lust as you kissed at her neck.

Riri closed her eyes each time, letting her mind drift off to very unholy places. She wasn't even trying to resist because how could she? You were trying to convince her to strap you again to which she said she didn't bring it but of course you knew that was a lie because her backpack was staring right at the both of you from across the room.

You used a single finger this time, dragging it all across her chest as you licked up her face to her ear, not before blowing over it with your cool breath, once you heard a soft "fuck" tumble out from Riris plump lips, you took a chance, "Please mommy..." you whined before gripping the edge of her waist, "so wet, already." you pouted against her jawline before blowing out your nose, the warm air hitting a nerve under her ear and she couldn't contain the moan that escaped, "Shit baby.", She was gonna give in.

"Get my bag."

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The safety of her dorm.. Or yours, or...

The backseat of her revamped Baracuda!! She doesn't even trust most people in there but, she'll lay whatever shirt or jacket down and have her way with you when you're out on your little roadtrips together. Car parked in the middle of nowhere as she presses your naked chest so tight against the tinted windows that your nipples are starting to get hard from the cold and your arch is borderline cracking while she blows your back out, the car shaking with each thrust...

Let's be real, she'd probably have you whereever if the risks of getting caught aren't exceedingly high

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Whispering in her ear, looking right into her eyes for too long, talking to her in a soft voice, brushing up against, kissing the spot right behind her defined jaw or blowing air on it.

Little things too; sitting on her lap, rubbing her thigh when she's driving, throwing your leg over her and wrapping your arms around her middle with your head resting on her chest when you want to cuddle, laying your head on her shoulder when you're watching her play her game because she definitely has one!

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

This didn't require much thought since I'm sure Riri would be down to try anything if you were but

Something she wouldn't do: Gunplay

Something that'd turn her off: blood kink, cnc

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Hello ?

Riri has no problem giving head, infact she prides herself on the way only she can get you to start acting up whenever she's tongue deep into your walls but, receiving it? She's in fucking heaven.

You were so pussy drunk on her, pawing at her sweatpant clad thighs while you laid on your stomach, back arched for her viewing-pleasure

Riri wanted you to beg her to let you eat her out so that's exactly what you were doing.

It didn't take too much convincing either since she clearly wanted you just as much.

You bat your lashes up at her once her sweats are past her knees, licking a fat stripe up her slippery folds and already tasting her sacharrine flavor on your lips because she's that wet.

She slaps your cheek lightly as a warning; you're not moving fast enough. So you hurriedly use your fingers to pull apart her slick covered lips to get better access to her hardened nub, suckling it into your mouth in one breath, you glance up at her to sneak a look at how she was handling it and her head was already thrown back, her hands finding their way into your hair pushing you down more as she thrusted her hips up, you blinked slowly as you relinquished control to her, letting her use your mouth while she smeared her juices all over your face.

If Heaven is a paradise, this was her Utopia

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow & rough, fast & rough

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Something I also stated in E, Riri'd be down for quickies aslong as you're both getting something from it.

Riris a busy girl, even if she graduated I don't see her life calming down in the slightest.

If the opportunity approachs her even when she's fresh off a 12 hour shift she's not gonna turn it down and you for her- though the pleasure doesn't last aslong as she'd like, if both of your bodys are satisfied then so is she.

Riri'd always makes sure to make it up to you (and vice versa) when your schedules finally aligned, anyways.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Ie T for toys

The spiked paddle.

She did have a regular one but, Riri was no fool. It didn't take her long to catch onto the fact that it was giving you more pleasure than discipline.

The whole week you'd been nothing below bratty & obnoxious towards her, after giving you multiple warnings which consisted of Riri pulling you to the side and telling you to "calm down with that shit." which only lasted until you made it back home.

Riri decided enough was enough...she also had a surprise for you.

The night started as most of your retributions did.

You sprawled across Riris lap as she made you count for her and she never said to what number till she wanted you to stop.

It seemed that no matter how hard Riri hit the warm skin of your cheeks, your arch would deepen to rival it, your voice scarce as you counted 15 for her but yet, you were rubbing your ass against her semi-raised hand, your hole leaking so much there was a small puddle of your sticky juices on her boxers- and it was so hot but it also pissed her off, so she moved you into the sheets of her mattress going off to get fetch the last resort she had.

when she returns, you don't even get to see with what it is, she's already pushing her hand into the middle of your back, a clear signal to arch for her again.

This time she's on her knees right behind you, kneading the hot skin over before her hands are gone completely.

*SMACK* you don't even get time to process the brief hit because she's already flicking her wrist and stinging you with another, you somehow managed to whine out a pathetic, "OW- fuck!" and that's when your arms gave out, no longer supporting your upper body as you slumped into the pillows below you. You look back to see what that was ; you could already feel it imprinting on you as you blinked back tears.

You decided it didn't fucking matter anymore as you tried to plead with riri that you were starting to understand but all you got in return was her taunting voice of mock pity when she shushed you, "Nah, it's okay baby." she cooed, her thumb reached down to wipe at your tears, you watched as best as you could through clouded vision, mouth wide open as she stuck her wet thumb into her mouth grumbling around the salty taste, "I'm gonna get your shit right, this time."

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As many as she can push you for and she'll always try to drag out the process but for how long depends on the position.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

... Yeah she has toys. A very impressive collection infact ; sticky dildos, wands, straps(including her breeding strap), egg vibrators, restraints varying from simple knot-tying ropes to the leather ones, one being pink because she made the mistake of letting you pick it out ending with the exception of her spiked paddle that she rarely brought out unless absolutely necessary.

What makes these so impressive though is that, Riri, unlike the normal person, when she sees something that she wants to try or knows you'd like she remakes it herself based on the picture and description. No instructions whatsoever. This applys more specifically to the straps and vibs ; all the vibrators have a few extra settings that include but are not limited to at least 4 extra currents of electric pulsating & swiveling setting that riri controls with a small remote, the dildos that attach to her strap are designed with a deep girth so she can hit that one spot that has you seeing white much easier, motion sensory that sends every little clench,

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Unbelievably too much.. Like it's unreal

She could tease you relentlessly for hours, making you lay back against her chest as she rubbed you through your panties with her middle & index, palming your puffy nipples from above the thin cloth with her other hand until they were sore & the cotton of your underwear was so wet it was sticking to your lips- so soaked that the material started changing to a noticeably darker shade, having you apologize for whatever she felt warranted it with her lips grazing your earlobe as she spoke and don't think you can just close your legs to escape from her punishment either because she's already thought of that, keeping yours spread with hers hooked from underneath.

And if she doesn't think you've earned it, she will literally fuck over any negotiation she laid beforehand; You cum when she wants you to.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Riris for sure the type to start mocking your moans when she's getting off even more if it's hitting her how it's supposed to but everyone moans, mewls, hell even squeals, and she was not the exception!

She'll settle for low panting and cursing- it's so fucking dirty- but she never makes a sound louder than what can be heard beyond whispering distance.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

She likes reminding you that just cause she's small doesn't mean she can't fold you, bend you over, pick you up anyway she sees fit.

And your squeals of surprise only egg her on more...

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Extremely toned abs that could pass as a soft six pack, small breasts with an even tinier brown areola circling her chocolate buds, track star thighs that will make themselves known no matter what material or length of cloth she's wearing, and omg- the biceps.. They're so fucking huge it doesn't make any sense and best believe Riris gonna show them off in a nice wifepleaser every once in a while *insert that montage of her building her mk2 & there was literally sweat droplets falling from them and the shirt was so slick that her abs were more defined and almost visible in general???* I would so clean them off for her I'm sorry

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Impossibly high, the fastest she's gotten there was 5 or so minutes and that was with you eating her out while her vib was thrumming over her clit.

In a way it explains why she doesn't have a need to cum over and over when she can just have a longer and more fulfilling journey to pleasure.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Don't come for me but the only thing I see putting riris lil strong ass out is a good tribbing sesh.

It's the first time she's letting you on top and you were feeling quite nervous it wouldn't feel as good for her yet still, you position your body doggy style on the opposite side of her waiting for Riri to lift her legs so you can push against the back of them till you're hovering over her sopping cunt. She grabs your back dimples puting her thumbs in them as she guides you down onto her with a hiss when your clits finally greet the other with a disgustingly gooey kiss.

She wouldn't be done after just one nut either but she also wouldn't have the strength to keep guiding you through it, she'd be mumbling out nonsense praises that she knew would keep you going.

In conclusion, to whatever Riri Williams wants or says I

[cakenpiewhyohmy]

So I slept on it, and I really think Tav is Halsins fated one.

So not going into super specifics but in dnd lore, elves typically do sleep around l, go through multiple relationships etc UNTIL they find their fated mate.

Man’s there’s so much evidence (either intentionally or unintentionally) that Tav is. You could literally do absolutely nothing besides saving him, (sometimes not even that) and his grove and man’s is head over heels for you.

In all his dialogue while he’s waiting in camp he’s flirting with you almost every chance he gets and makes it clear that he wants you.

But if it’s just a fling or casual sex, why wait?

Well I think it’s because Tav is is soulmate essentially so he’s actually so in love with them that they consume his thoughts constantly. BUT he has a lot of guilt and Trauma that he’s burdened with and he feels like he can’t even think of being happy with them until he’s righted what he feels is his biggest failure. And after it’s defeated he even has a line where he says something like “I’m yours” before trying to correct himself and saying he’s yours in battle etc. (I could literally picture him blushing at his slip up)

We don’t really get anything till act three because with the shadow curse lifted he feels free to try and follow his heart (which is now with Tav) but is a little nervous to do so. Like hes been with tons of people before Tav is the first one that hes actually in love and feels connected to (soulmates) and hes trying to pace himself. Unfortunately the world is literally at stake so he doesn’t have the luxury of time

So what does he do? Blurt out a really bad confession and then gets so giddy he wildshapes.

Like that whole scene has him so out of breath you can practically see his excitement and nervs. (He even says he feared that it was too soon)

And about the whole poly thing, for one I do think he’s mildly traumatized, a free love hippy Druid , and someone who genuinely is poly and maybe a swinger lol.

However I also think he has no intentions of seeing anyone else. Like Tav is it for him. There’s multiple lines of dialogue suggesting so, he says “you are all I want” but encourages you to share your heart with others even though you already have his (man’s even calls you “my heart” I-) I think this could be interpreted a couple different ways and proly has multiple meanings.

But if we’re running with the soulmate idea then it’s because he’s both scared and traumatized by losing almost everyone he’s loved in his life, and also afraid of being rejected outright. Like he would rather have a part of you than none at all.

Because elves that do lose their fated ones typically don’t last long without them.

The only issue is the devs did him dirty with his ending….which again can be added for angst in this HC cause why not.

-he’s secretly hoping tav chases after him (my fav so far) he doesn’t feel like he is enough and he’s so ill suited for city life that he feels he would make Tav miserable and he would be miserable and that’s the last thing he wants. Especially since the big bad is over now. He feels like he doesn’t have much use to them anymore and fears being truly discarded.

- he feels a sense of obligation towards helping others and fear of screwing up the one genuine connection he has with his soulmate like (he feels) he has with all other things he has in his life. Losing thaniel, killing the turned Archdruid, failing his grobe etc. he fears it so much he’d rather run away than have that become a reality.

-and if they’re with someone else? Even more reason to leave. I feel like they treated him like a side piece when it came to his poly romance with Astarion or Shadowheart (especially since shadowheart and him didn’t really get along lol) and this coupled with his feelings of guilt and inadequacies? Yeah man’s said quit while ur ahead.

-the same way Astarion needs reassurance, I think Halsin does too. Reassurance that he IS enough for them, wether that’s in a poly relationship or in a solo one (I still think hes a swinger but I digress).

Man even has a line when asking him about himself where he says that people look at him and think that his feelings can’t be hurt.

Long story short, Halsin has been in love with Tav since they freed him, but Is Going Through It too and doesn’t know how to cope.

[im-just-a-bug]

Finished In Stars and Time last night and want to put down my thoughts bc that was nuts. Spoilers ahead v

Theres still much I havent seen, and ive only gotten one ending but man this game blew me away. Here are some things i loved about this game.

Timeloops are such a common plot device, a way to help the mc level up for the big bad, and the way they flipped that narrative on its head! The instant shift from "this is a gift to help me!" To "who did I think I was, how stupid," is so satisfying.

The music, at the end, terrified me. That first time Headmaiden broke down, and the music glitched and deteriorated, i realized oh. Oh fuck this is a kind of horror game isn't it. I wasnt wrong.

The changes in character art!!

The subtle things; the mirror never catches you by surprise again. Your battle sprite looks bored. You stop making silly noises at the birds.

That moment in act 3 where everything is finally going right, your companions love you and youve never felt more content, and Siffrin wins and gets to the end and they loop anyway. The way that the first time his party notices anything wrong is when he is completley and utterly heartbroken, the way they run to him. And he wakes up in the meadow, to allies that don't love him anymore. Who have no idea what hes going through. Who aren't grateful. And love didnt win the game so they go searching for answers and it makes sense but it makes everything worse.

You talk to King, and for a second you think everything might work out because stranger things have happened. And after a whole game of Bonnie being safe, Bonnie running away. Bonnie never being in any real danger. King picks them up and crushes them in front of you to 'teach you a lesson.' And the terror on Sifs face the next loop they reach the King startled me deeply, and reminded me that this game is a god damn masterpiece.

The way this game sets you up to stop caring about how you treat others, only to give you a real ending after what was essentially the WORST loop youve ever had?? Incredible. Siffrin doing everything he can to manipulate his way to the end, even if everyone hates him bc hes just so desperate. There's no point being nice, there's no point pretending in the end, bc he hopes there won't be another loop but in their heart they Know there will be, so what's the point? And he fumbles every interaction, makes every one of his friends hate his guts, and then has to fight the King alone. And then they save him anyway. They follow him and pick him up at the end (which cinematically is a God damn masterpiece all on its own God DAMN) and you figure out the whole time Siffrin was looping not bc the country fumbled a Wish, but because he didn't want his friends to go. He wanted to stay with them so badly he wished for it on accident, and the universe listened.

I haven't even gotten into how in awe I was, putting together the little puzzle pieces of Sifs backstory, of his island. Even in act 1 I was squinting my eyes. Several mentions of a whole island wiped from existence no one can remember? A protagonist with severe memory issues and no connection to or knowledge of any culture left? God I love this game.

And Loop. I didnt learn Loops story on my playthrough, but i looked into it and man. Its so incredibly neat that you have this character, this other siffrin, who went through these loops so many times they got desperate enough to make a whole NEW wish, unspecified and uncaring, just wanting something to change. Wanting help. And got shoved into our Siffrins reality instead, because wishes never work how you want them to. Finding their star room and their journal and trinkets and lore was so incredibly cool!! Though im confused why the journal says they made a cooy of themself, but their battle dialogue says they got shoved into a different reality. Idk, but it's still cool. And their anger, that someone else got their happy ending? Fucking mwah.

These characters are so complex and interesting and a day later im still in awe about it. There are so many parts of this game i havent even mentioned here that are like a punch in the face. So many little interactions, so many art shifts.

I loved this game deeply, and the only thing stopping me from playing more is guilt at taking away that ending. When a game makes u care about the characters that much, you know its a great game.

[bittersweetresilience]

author's commentary part one

now that we've reached the end of the fic, i will finally explain the beginning.

i named this piece after 大鱼, a song whose title means big fish. in the fic, jing yuan references void songs twice, which i imagine are the sounds that void song whales make. if you remember, yukong talks about these whales in her visitor dialogue. they swim freely through the stellar seas while their sibling species on the luofu has disappeared into history.

whale songs. dream fish. the call of the void. the language of longing. to me, renjing.

author's imagery only the most important bits

the sky is freedom and departure, and it is jing yuan, eventually. the sea is the dissolution of the self and the thing that will swallow him, and it is yingxing. the lightning is the portent of death, but also the electricity of being in love. the wine is the representation of shared wishes and togetherness and history. the starskiffs are the memorials of the past and the vessels into the empyrean. the fire is desire and destruction. the ink is the color of blade's hair and the sincerity of the letters jing yuan writes. the bandages and the iron are blade and the violence of his existence. the paper birds are the fragility of jing yuan's memories, which cannot be buried. the nightclothes are the vulnerability he will shed in the morning. the string is the red string of fate between renjing, but also the strings that tether jing yuan to the luofu and to his ending. the womb and the egg are the places of rebirth and the representation of returning to the beginning. the sun is the stellaron, and it is jing yuan before the sky and the sea consume him, and it is the end of the dream.

author's commentary part two

below is my translation of the song.

大鱼 big fish

海浪无声将夜幕深深淹没 the waves soundlessly submerge the night 漫过天空尽头的角落 rising over the corners of the edge of the sky 大鱼在梦境的缝隙里游过 the big fish swims in the rifts between dreams 凝望你沉睡的轮廓 watching your sleeping visage

看海天一色 听风起雨落 seeing the sky and the sea in one color, hearing the winds stir and the rain fall 执子手 吹散苍茫茫烟波 holding my son's hand, i blow away the hazy ripples of smoke 大鱼的翅膀 已经太辽阔 the wings of the big fish are already too vast 我松开 时间的绳索 i let go of the thread of time

怕你飞远去 怕你离我而去 afraid you'll fly far away, afraid you'll leave me 更怕你 永远停留在这里 even more afraid you'll stop here forever 每一滴泪水 都向你流淌去 every tear flows toward you 倒流进 天空的海底 flowing backward into the ocean floor of the sky

(...)

看你飞远去 看你离我而去 seeing you fly far away, seeing you leave me 原来你生来就属于天际 so you were born to belong to the sky all along 每一滴泪水 都向你流淌去 every tear flows toward you 倒流回最初的相遇 flowing backward into our first meeting

without this song, this fic wouldn't exist. every part of the two was intimately interwoven. in particular, the line about the thread of time was what made me certain it would be a nonlinear narrative and the mixing of the sky and the sea was the image that created the entire story.

i further drew from the lyrics the most important imagery, the idea of ending on the beginning, and the son's hand as not only yanqing but everyone jing yuan leans on today in order to support himself against the weight of history. i drew the themes of dreams and reality, the dialogue on leaving, and the breathless, surreal atmosphere of melancholy and yearning. but in addition to all of that there is a double meaning in this song to me.

the first time you hear it, you think it's about jing yuan. and it is, of course. everything is about him. he is the holder, the sleeper, the one submerging. but by the last verse, you realize it is also blade, talking to him as he walks into scalegorge waterscape. trying and failing to call him back from within the endless dream.

both of them were born to belong to the sky. only one of them truly died in it.

author's dictionary

rèn, 刃, word for 'Blade' (lit. 'blade's edge') jiāngjūn, 将军, word for 'general' gānbēi, 干杯, word for 'cheers' (lit. 'dry cups') mèngdié, 梦蝶, word for the shortness of life (lit. 'butterfly dream') (this was not said explicitly but alluded to in the first dream) shīfù, 师父, word for 'martial master' bàitáng, 拜堂, word for the act of bowing to the heavens and the earth, the parents, and then each other in marriage (this is what the high-cloud quintet was joking about) yǐnyuè-jūn, 饮月君, word for 'Imbibitor Lunae' (lit. 'moon-drinker') nàihé qiáo, 奈何桥, word for the Bridge of Oblivion where souls drink Meng Po soup to forget the memories of their past life in preparation for reincarnation húlu, 葫芦, word for 'gourd' (this is what bailu uses to dispense medicine) qīng, 卿, word for 'senior official' (this is the honorific jing yuan uses for fu xuan in light of her position as master diviner) xiàngqí, 象棋, word for 'Chinese chess' (this is what starchess is based on, where my vision designates aurumatons as cannons, starskiffs as elephants, and cloud knights as pawns) gē, 哥, word for 'older brother' (this is a casual term of address for older men) shíhuǒ mèngshēn, 石火梦身, word for 'Starfall Reverie' (lit. 'sparks in stone, body in dream')

author's references

all of the xianzhou trailblaze missions. all of the relevant characters' character stories and companion missions. character dialogues. visitor dialogues. battle dialogues. battle mechanics. lightcones. relics. readables. item descriptions. character designs. character messages. the new trailblaze continuance. area maps. chinese voiceovers and their english translations. character trailers. combat guides. animated shorts. possibly more things i'm forgetting to mention. my wealth of insanity.

author's appreciation

wiki editors who came before me. people who upload youtube videos of different dubs of each trailblaze mission. spouses and ssswips. my beloved commenters. the composer of 大鱼. renjing.

[pinkeoni]

The “Will Has Powers” Basics Post

I’ve realized recently that whenever I talk about Will having powers, I kind of just expect everyone to be on the same page as me, without really explaining much of what lead me to believe he has powers in the first place. I don't really have a good foundation to point to.

So that's what I want this post to be, not really too detailed but more of an introductory post. I'll explain the basics of my Will has powers theories, why I believe he has powers, and what kinds of powers I think he has. I'll be using evidence I've used in a lot of other posts while also keeping it simplistic and not trying to add anything too speculative or theoretical.

Evidence & Powers #1) Nancy's Dialogue and Time and Light Powers

I think one of the easiest pieces of evidence and my usual go-to is Nancy's dialogue in 4x07 when the teens are in the Upside Down. Nancy remarks that the Upside Down is stuck on the day that Will went missing, and then brings Will up again in regards to the lights. Both of her pieces of dialogue here implicates Will as the one who froze time and got the lights to work the way they do.

"The last entry is November 6, 1983. The day Will went missing. The day the gate opened."

"Will found a way. Will. He found a way to speak to Joyce through the lights."

(So I used to think it was "The day the gate opened. The day Will went missing." and not "The day Will went missing. The day the gate opened." but after rewatching the scene it is actually the former. My bad.)

Now obviously Nancy wouldn't know that Will is responsible nor do I think she has some kind of psychic intuition, but the writers would know and are writing her dialogue in a specific way that points toward Will in both instances. Bringing him up by name not one, not two but three times places emphasis on him specifically. I think that El opening the gate had a part in this, but if it was her solely then I think Nancy's dialogue would read as "The last entry is November 6, 1983. The day El opened the gate." rather than trying to tie Will into it in the first place. Moreover, the gates that Vecna is opening with El's powers don't seem to be updating the Upside Down to modern times, Will is an important piece of the puzzle.

The light thing is something that I do think is solely Will, given that gate opening isn't brought up and Nancy brings Will up by name twice in the same line of dialogue.

The word "found" here is also interesting because it could have two meanings.

A) Will stumbled upon the lights ability

B) Will created the ability to communicate with lights

Had Nancy said "Will stumbled upon a way to talk to Joyce through the lights" it would suggest that the lights is a rule from the UD that has always been there. Nancy saying that Will created the ability to talk through lights wouldn't make sense for her to say because Nancy wouldn't have access to that information. "Found" is the perfect balance between the two— it makes sense given Nancy's access to information while allowing enough room to imply that Will had something to do with it.

Evidence & Powers #2) Will as an Artist and Creation Powers

If you created a tv character who had magic powers, but you couldn't reveal it until the final season, how do you pull it off without it feeling out of nowhere? How do you build up the reveal without completely giving it away.

Well, I would do it by attributing his powers with aspects of the character that has already been built up and that the audience has become familiar with.

It's established that Will is an artist from season one, and his art continues to be important to the plot it nearly every season.

In season one, Joyce is able to correctly identify that El is not because Will's drawings are much more advanced than El's stick figures.

In season two, Will uses drawings in order to help visualize his now memories and creates a map of the tunnels.

Not much in season three, but Will does use charcoal in one scene to demonstrate visually how the shadow particles work.

In season four, Will creates a painting for Mike that becomes an important moment in the season and sets in motion important events for the future (aka byler endgame)

I will admit that this piece of evidence by itself is not enough to convince an audience that Will has a supernatural link. Will is an artist -> Will has powers is a pretty far stretch. But I think that this combined with some of my other evidence could support what kind of powers I think he has, which I think is some from of creation ability. Will has powers because of xyz -> Will is also an artist -> Will has powers of creation is a better argument and what I'm trying to get at.

Without getting into all of the chunky theoretics here, I believe it's possible that Will may have the ability to create whole lifeforms and vast worlds, such as the Upside Down itself and the creatures inside.

Evidence & Powers #3) Will the Wise, Fire Powers & Prophetic Abilities

This goes along similarly with what I said about using Will's artistry to foreshadow his powers, or using another facet of Will's character to hint at powers without giving it away altogether. Although, I would say that this piece of evidence is probably a lot more obvious than the previous bullet.

"Will the Wise" is Will's Dungeon's & Dragons name, which comes up pretty frequently in the show. Will the Wise is confusingly labeled as both a wizard and a cleric, although both classes are magic-users within DnD.

Each member of the party has a DnD class and character, although Will's is the one that get's brought up the most. The name Will the Wise is referenced—

Episode one when Will is playing DnD

In a flashback later in season one

The episode title "Will the Wise" from season two

And in season three when we have our most obvious piece of powers foreshadowing, when Will dresses up in a Wizard costume

During this same scene, Will says that he has "seen into the future" which is why I suggest that he may have prophetic abilities. Vecna displays a similar ability when he shows Nancy the future in her vision.

It's also possible that Will may have some kind of fire abilities, based on one of Will the Wise's attacks being "fireball." (@reikunrei made a really great post recently proposing that Will's fire powers might extend to some of his other abilities rather than being purely a fire attack, but alas I cannot find it ((I am so sorry Wilbur)))

Evidence #4) Continued Connection With Vecna

Another reason why I suspect that Will may have powers comes from a series of questions:

Why is Will the first one taken to the Upside Down?

Why choose Will as the host of the Mind Flayer?

Why continue to have a connection with Will?

I think I could write-off the first two as incidental if the show didn't make it a point to continue this connection through seasons three and four, that along with Nancy's dialogue in season 4 discussed earlier. Could Will's disappearance have been a coincidence? Sure. Could Vecna have just needed Will to be a spy, and is completely disposable to him? It's possible. But if so, what is the narrative reasoning for maintaining this connection? Is it to just for the convenience of having Will as a beast sensor?

Something else that tips me off about Will's disappearance is the why it happens as well, which we aren't really told. We are told with Barb that the demogorgon is attracted to blood. Nancy and Jonathan later use this tactic to lure it to the house.

And yet with Will, we don't see any blood. In fact, they make a point to emphasize this when Hopper tells Joyce that there was no blood on his bike.

Evidence #5) Will's focus in season 5

Despite Will always being my favorite character and loving him so dearly, I didn't start seriously theorizing until I saw this tweet by Discussing Film, which came out shortly after vol. 2 was released.

I know that outside cast and crew comment shouldn’t be taken as gospel, as they have lied before for the sake of spoilers. Which is why I put this at the end, and why it’s not my only piece of evidence.

But still, it’s not like every comment is a lie, and even then, wouldn’t this be a wierd thing to lie about? And kinda cruel? Imagine saying “Oh, this gay character who hasn’t gotten a lot of screentime is going to be a focus.” only to say “Haha just kidding, he’s actually unimportant!” So I’m inclined to believe that they’re telling the truth.

So if this statement is true, then how could Will not have powers? How would you make a character the center of a show about the supernatural, if he has no tie to the supernatural at all?

[darkbackalley]

No Words Left Unspoken - The Phantom of the Opera x Male Reader

Warnings: None, other than absolute tooth-rotting fluff and a TEENSY-WEENSY bit of projecting lol

FEM-ALIGNED BLOGS DNI

Note: OMG I ACTUALLY POSTED? I’m low key so sorry to everyone that I’ve been gone for so long, PLZ FORGIVE ME! I’ve been going through an INSANE Phantom of The Opera phase recently, and this idea has just been floating around in my brain, so I figured that I’d write it. I also wanted to write the dialogue in French and finally use my skills, but I realized that there’s way too much talking for that :( also this thing is SO LONG

FIC UNDER THE CUT

The Opéra Populaire had never seen anything like it before. A Kabuki troupe had arrived from Japan, bringing with them a style of performance so foreign, so alluring, that it transfixed everyone who witnessed it. Among them was Y/n, a star working with the company to achieve fame, and an onnagata—a male actor who specialized in female roles. His grace and beauty were unparalleled, his every movement capturing the very essence of womanhood. His long, flowing robes and painted face transformed him into a vision of ethereal femininity and often rivalled that of the women in the production team. One thing that y/n often struggled with, however, was many thinking that he is just a beautiful woman playing these roles, and as an actor, he was feminized into this twisted version of himself that wasn’t a true representation of him.

The Phantom of the Opera has always watched from the shadows. and here he was, watching yet again. But something was different this time. This new form of theatre was not unwelcome here, as the Opéra Populaire has always been a home of the arts, no matter which kind, and he had been entranced by the performers before, but Y/n was different. The Phantom had always believed that true beauty lay in tragedy, in the forbidden and impossible love he had harbored for Christine Daaé, But Y/n’s presence had stirred something new within him, a deep and unexpected longing. Slowly closing the hole Christine had left behind.

Night after night during the rehearsals, The Phantom watched as Y/n glided across the stage, his delicate hands moving with precision, his voice lilting in melodies foreign yet intoxicating. The Phantom could not take his eyes off of him. From the moment Y/n entered the opera house, Erik had been captivated, convinced that the performer was a woman of unmatched beauty and grace. His heart, once so hardened by rejection and isolation, softened at the sight of her— though Erik did not yet know the truth.

He left notes in Y/n’s dressing room, signed only with a flourish of a rose. He composed hauntingly beautiful pieces on his organ, each one inspired by the way Y/n moved, the way his voice danced in the air. Gone was his melancholy opera pieces, replaced by works that were softy and harboured unseen adornment towards his muse. The Phantom’s obsession grew, as it always did, until he could no longer bear to remain unseen.

On opening night, after the performance, The Phantom made his move. He waited in the fly tower, his heart racing as Y/n finished his final bow and made his way backstage. The theater was emptying of both patrons and performers, but Y/n stayed behind, unwinding from the night’s work, his silken robes draped around him. The Phantom, cloaked in darkness, stepped forward.

“You are a vision,” his voice echoed through the room, low and melodic, sending a shiver down Y/n’s spine. “An angel who has graced my stage and my theatre.” Y/n turned slowly, his eyes searching the shadows. “And you are you?” he asked, his voice gentle but curious, his accent wrapping around the French words in a way that made them sound even more delicate.

“I am the one who watches from the dark,” Erik replied, stepping into the dim light, his mask catching the glow. “I have admired you from afar, but I can no longer keep my distance.”

Y/n froze for a moment, thrown off, before his lips curved into a soft smile, his painted face serene. “You are the Phantom, are you not? The one the others speak of.”The Phantom nodded, his breath catching as he looked into the other’s eyes—so soft, so full of mystery. He had imagined this moment, this meeting, countless times. He could not resist the pull any longer. “I have seen many singers, many dancers, but none as captivating as you.”

Y/n tilted his head, curious. “Why do you find me so captivating?”

The Phantom stepped closer, his voice a whisper. “Because you are a woman of great beauty, of talent unmatched.”

Y/n’s smile faltered slightly, his eyes flickering with something The Phantom couldn’t quite read. He had encountered this before—audiences who fell in love with the woman they believed him to be, only to realize the truth later. But something in the Phantom’s intensity made Y/n hesitate.

“I am not what you think I am,” Y/n said softly, his voice gentle but firm.

The Phantom frowned. “What do you mean?”

Y/n hesitated, then gracefully reached up and began to remove his ornate wig, revealing his hair underneath. “I am not a woman,” he said quietly, turning away from the Phantom. “I am an actor. An onnagata. I play the role of women, but I am a man.”

For a long moment, The Phantom said nothing. He stared, his mind reeling with the revelation. Y/n’s delicate features, his graceful movements—how could this be true? But as the silence stretched on, the Phantom realized something that surprised even him.

It didn’t matter.

He stepped closer, his mask hiding the emotions that swirled within him. “You say you are not a woman,” he said slowly, “but that does not change what I see. You are an artist, a performer, and I am drawn to you—not because of the mask you wear, but because of the soul behind it.”

Y/n looked at him, his dark eyes wide with surprise. “You do not care that I am a man?”

The Phantom shook his head, his voice softer now. “No. I care that you are you. You are more than your role, more than the costume or the mask. I see beauty in your art, in your spirit. I have lived my life behind a mask, hiding from the world. I know what it means to be unseen for who you truly are.”

Y/n’s breath caught in his throat. He had never met someone like him, someone who saw beyond the surface, beyond the illusion. Slowly, he took a step closer to the Phantom, his eyes searching the latter’s for the truth.

“Then perhaps,” Y/n whispered, “we are not so different after all.”The Phantom’s heart pounded in his chest as he reached out, gently taking Y/n’s hand. “No, we are not.”

In that moment, there was no need for masks or performances. The Phantom, who had always believed himself incapable of love, found solace in the presence of the one person who understood his isolation, his need to hide. Y/n, who had spent his life transforming into someone else on stage, found comfort in being seen for who he truly was. They stood there, together, in the dim light of the opera house, their connection as real as the roles they had once played. And for the first time, both the Phantom and the Kabuki actor knew what it meant to be truly seen.

[rangerzath]

I've finally played the Lake House and now I'm going to talk about it for awhile. Spoilers below the break.

I will start off by saying this is one of the BEST DLCs I have ever played in any game.

I have always loved Kiran as a character since we first saw her, but The Lake House really highlighted just how fantastically rounded and detailed this character is given the short amount of time we spend with her. Her humor, the fear she experiences, but above all the determination she has to do her job makes a great character.

I appreciated how much we see of the everyman FBC agent. Not everyone at the FBC is a parautilitarian, a lovable scientist dork, or the Director. There are normal people working there believing in what they do. This is a very important part of the overall story of this organization to me. Often I see the Bureau demonized as a whole by the fandom and that really upsets me. Bad apples are everywhere, as we see in this DLC. But we also see how a good person like Kiran stands up against it. Even through the emails and documents we find in game you see good people trying their best against that evil. I am again thankful for Remedy's writing team that they really highlighted that. Even going as far as showing Darling denying a request to capture live test subjects, which means he learned after Dylan. You even see that Trench denied outlandish requests despite being being in the late stages of a galactic war raging in his mind.

You know I had to talk about Trench and Darling, but it was nice to see them again in this way. They still felt a part of this world in a way that made sense. Document storytelling has been one of my favorite things about Control. They present us with just enough framework to use on our own canvas to try and piece together details of those blank pages.

Did I get emotional over signatures? Yes, yes I did.

The atmosphere of this DLC hit all the right horror points. From the moment you walk into The Lake House it captures all the scariest horror vibes from the main game. The paint spattered on the walls like blood, but somehow even creepier because of how it wouldn't make sense to see paint like that (until you figure out just what is happening). Being helpless to the painted because again you are just an FBC Agent not a parautilitarian emphasized this feeling.

Using a picture frame set up with Kiran telling Saga what happened at The Lake House made sense and gives us the point in time Kiran would be providing this information. She left us clues in the main game with her dialogue of something horrible that went down at the Lake House, so it feels very appropriate that we get to see that in detail.

The question that resounded throughout this DLC of what is art was very appropriate given the struggles we face today with AI and plagiarism. How is art perceived and how does its emotional impact play on its viewer? Again the writing team really shines here with all the little details. The room with the ATDs was truly horrifying. I don't think they have ever made a room with no one feel so ominous.

Obviously there was a lot in the DLC for Control fans. We will be speculating on every detail for the next couple of years. I always hoped this last DLC of Alan Wake would lead into Control 2, so I couldn't be happier to see just that happen.

Unlike some DLCs that feel as though they were an afterthought, the story feels like the natural ending of Alan Wake 2's story. It felt like the only goodbye we would have with this game and its characters.

The ending song was a beautiful final note to capstone a game that Remedy struggled for so long to make, and I imagine at times doubted that it would ever be made.

I often struggle to put my feelings into written words, but I wanted to try and get them out. Remedy's future looks bright with multiple games on the horizon, but we see how quickly companies can run into issues and nothing is set in stone. Anything could happen in these uncertain times. We may never see these characters again, and most certainly not in the form they are now. It makes me really sad to think we may never see Saga and FBI Casey or Kiran ever again. Maybe there won't ever be an Alan Wake 3. Maybe we won't see Alan battle the Dark Presence again. Maybe we won't ever see Dark Place Casey's echos pave a path for Alan. Maybe we won't see Alice show us just how much a character can grown into her own. Maybe we don't even get to see more of Jesse, or Emily, or Arish. I already know with the passing of James McCaffrey some of these things are impossible. But its not only death that separates seeing a character again. The song End of an Era highlights this goodbye. This end scene. The curtains close. It is an end.

What I appreciated in this song was that it highlighted the struggle of getting to that ending. No matter what goal you are trying to reach, whether it's Alan trying to escape the Dark Place, Jesse finding out what happened to her brother, any one of us creating things that make us happy, that path always has its ups and downs. And that end will always be bittersweet. It will change us. It is a goodbye.

Whatever Remedy creates in the future it could be something we may like or something we may end up disliking. They could ruin characters or make brand new ones for us to fall in love with all over again. We can take that or leave it. Whatever they decide to do. Maybe we like Firebreak and their new type of Remedy game, maybe we don't. But none of that will change how we felt about these prior games and how these characters made us feel at this moment in time. We can look back and remember how it made us feel. When we laughed, when we cried. The journey they took us on.

I will always be grateful that I was able to experience these games. They moved me in ways I cannot find the words to fully describe. I will carry these feelings forward and cherish this memory.

“There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.” - Shel Silverstein

[sundrop-writes]

Announcing my new fic: Heaven's Gate

Heaven's Gate is a long oneshot starring Daryl Dixon and a gender neutral reader character, featuring angst, hurt and comfort, and some fluff.

NOW POSTED!!!!!

In this fic, you and Daryl get separated when the prison is attacked by the Governor, and though you both believe the other person is dead, you two end up finding each other at the most unexpected time. This fic is about hope, the human connection, and how love is about more than romance - it's about how people take pieces of each other and grow with them, never truly able to forget each other.

This fic is going to be a longer oneshot that is currently about 15k long - and will likely be longer by the time it has gone through editing. It is 80% of the way done in my drafts (not including editing), and I hope to have it posted by April 30th - which is a tentative date that may change. If you want to know for certain when the fic is posted, you can follow me here and turn on notifcations or you can subscribe to me on AO3 to get an email notification when the fic is posted. I am really excited to share this fic with all of you 💖.

Below is a short preview of the fic - so if you wanna get a better sense for the upcoming fic you can read it. If you enjoy this preview and you're excited for what the fic holds, please let me know!

Also an important note: with my gender neutral reader fics, I don't use any references to gender whatsoever (this is not a 'GN afab' fic). And in this fic in particular, I didn't use any pronouns (other than you/yours) or gendered terms for the reader - and at points where the terms they/them were used, I made it purposefully vague so that the dialogue could be referring to the whole group as 'they' or just the reader. I want my gender neutral fics to be enjoyed by everyone - cis women, cis men, gender non conforming people, trans people - every kind of fanfiction reader.

I am making this post for two major reasons - one, I want to generate as much excitement for oneshots as there is for series. Especially for oneshots that are longer than 10k because those take a lot of time and effort. If a series is like a TV show, then long oneshots are like a feature film. And two - nobody seems to read my pinned post where I announce new upcoming fics anyway, so I might as well make posts like these so that people can know what to expect from me. And hopefully you guys will get excited about my upcoming fics this way. And when I tag these posts with the relevant tags, people interested in those topics can follow me to anticipate the fic if they want to read it.

Heaven's Gate (Daryl Dixon x GN!Reader) - Preview

Preview Word Count: 1,800

Warnings: no pronouns used for the reader other than you/yours; there are major plot spoilers for The Walking Dead if you are watching the show for the first time - spoilers for Season 2 all the way up through Season 5; typical warnings for TWD - mentions of death, emotional despair; all of these themes and emotions are expanded upon in the full fic.

...

“Daryl!” 

You called out his name as you jogged up toward the stables, and he stopped in his tracks, waiting for you to catch up with him. 

“Daryl, hey.” You greeted him with a small smile. “Rick told me you’d be up here.” 

He grunted in reply. “Yeah. ‘m gonna take a horse out. Make better ground t’ look for the girl.” 

Your stomach clenched at him mentioning her. 

The group was supposed to be headed out towards Fort Bennet - supposed to be finding refuge at the hopefully safe military base. Instead, you were all setting up camp at the very reluctant Hershel Greene’s farm, not straying too far from where you had lost one of your own in the hopes of finding her. 

But that was why you had come to talk to Daryl in the first place. 

Sophia had become like a sister to you in the few short months that you had known her, and though it was unlikely, you were hopeful that she was alive - that she would be found. And you did believe that Daryl would be the one to find her. 

“How’s the trail?” You asked. “Do you think you know which way she headed? You - you can be honest with me.” 

You hesitated on the last part. But you did want his honesty more than anything. And you knew that he was never one to sugar-coat things. Even if you hadn’t told him that, he would have given you the truth anyway. 

“Trail’s a little muddy.” He said, doling out that honesty. “‘m gon follow the river. It’s her biggest landmark out there, so she’ll probably be somewhere around it.” 

You smiled at him. And then, you remembered - 

“I brought you something.” You noted, reaching for the back pocket of your jeans. 

Daryl watched with quiet curiosity as you pulled out a piece of paper - when you showed it to him, he quickly realized that it was a half-used set of stickers. 

“These are some of the stickers that I got for Sophia,” You explained. “My mom always used to tell me that cardinals are good luck.” 

You peeled off a sticker of a bright red bird - as much of a nature man as he was, Daryl was never one for bird watching. He didn’t care about identifying certain species of birds unless he could shoot and eat them. But he quickly reasoned that this must be the cardinal that you spoke of. 

“Give me your bow.” You said, shoving the rest of the sticker sheet into your back pocket again and holding out your hand expectantly. 

“I don’t need no luck.” He replied, voice full of snark. 

“Just give it.” You replied - equally snarky, equally stubborn. 

Daryl sighed and tugged his bow’s strap over his head, presenting it to you. You placed the sticker on the bow’s handle, in one of the places where it wasn’t as worn down from him holding it. 

“There,” You said, giving it back to him with a smile. “Now you’re all set.” 

It was more for you than it was for him - a token of good faith and protection. The idea that you could do something to bring Sophia home when you felt so powerless. 

Daryl let out a harsh sound - somewhere between a laugh and a sarcastic snort as he walked away. “Thanks.” 

“You’re welcome,” You replied brightly, edging on sarcastic once again. 

… 

When the prison was attacked, Daryl got out with Beth. 

He almost couldn’t stand her bright eyes, big eyes staring at him, waiting for answers - her chirpy little voice, prodding at him, demanding that they ‘follow the trail’ and go look for everyone else. Telling him that he was a tracker, that he could find them. As if it was his damn responsibility just because he had the skills to get it done. 

It was all too reminiscent of you, telling him that he could find Sophia. That it wasn’t an ‘if’ - it was a ‘when’. 

Perhaps that was what got him off his ass and doing what he did best - reading the dirt. 

“What’re you doin’?” He asked, staring at the girl curiously as she went to one of the bushes and rushed to pick berries from branches. Had she not gotten enough to eat that morning? 

“They’ll be hungry when we find them.” Beth told him confidently. 

Of course. That undefeatable streak of optimism. 

Daryl knew that blueberries weren’t your favorite - but he should have something to give you. He would be too busy tracking the footprints to properly hunt for squirrels or rabbits and clean them for you. So, he found himself pulling a large bandana from his back pocket and offering it to Beth - something to hold the berries in to keep them safe as an offering for you. 

“Here.” He grunted at her. 

Beth smiled at him. 

It was one of the last smiles she gave him for a long time. 

When they came across those bodies splayed out beside the tracks - any sense of hope was crushed inside of him. The picture you had gifted him was heavy inside his breast pocket, and he hated that tears threatened his eyes - even if he knew that none of those bodies belonged to you. There was no trace of you there. 

The days started to blur into each other, and Daryl couldn’t get you off his mind. 

One hazy evening, as they both stared into the fire with dead looks on their faces, he took the drawing out of his pocket and unfolded it. 

For good luck. 

He didn’t believe in luck - because it didn’t exist. The world was fucked. Nobody was lucky. You and your good luck were dead. 

He tossed the drawing into the fire, and it was only a moment, when the corner of it had barely caught, when Beth snatched it out. She stomped on it with her boot, successfully saving it. 

“Don’t do that.” She hissed at him. 

Daryl snatched it from her, and crumbled it up, tossing it aside. He let out a grunt, but refused to look at her. 

“That was from Y/N, wasn’t it?” She posed. 

He could feel her imposing stare as she waited for an answer. 

He didn’t give her one. 

“You can’t burn them just because you think they’re dead.” Beth sighed. “You can’t burn up memories. We’re gonna find them. Y/N, and Maggie, and Michonne, and - and everyone.” 

Daryl scoffed. “Yeah. Cause that’s gon’ happen.” 

Beth rolled her eyes, but didn’t speak any further on the subject. 

After she had fallen asleep - when the fire was dull, Daryl picked up the crumbled ball and smoothed it out again. The charred corner hadn’t even touched your bird. He felt like a fool doing it, just as much of a fool as he accused you of being, but he folded it neatly - well, as neatly as he could - and then put it back into his breast pocket again. 

But that was the thing - Daryl wished that he could. He wished he could burn up those memories. 

That you would stop haunting him. Then he wouldn’t have to feel like this anymore.

… 

“Can I see it again?” Beth asked, suddenly changing the subject. 

Again, this was a confusing little whip for Daryl - something that clearly only made sense to Beth in her own drunken mind. 

“See what?” Daryl replied. 

“The picture.” Beth answered. “The one you tried to burn.” 

Daryl felt a pinch of guilt surge over him at the thought. Oddly enough, this was the one time he would be willing to admit that Beth was right - you can’t burn up memories. 

“It was Y/N, wasn’t it? That drew it.” Beth added on, her words slurring slightly - she lifted the mason jar of booze to her lips again and Daryl was tempted to snatch it away from her. 

Instead, he found his hand drifting to his breast pocket and reaching to take the picture out. He presented it to Beth, who put down her drink to unfold it - she stared at the picture fondly under the brightness of the moonlight, tracing a finger over the slightly faded details. 

“You know… my daddy used to tell me that a cardinal is like an angel.” Beth said, recognizing the bird from her father’s teachings on the farm. “Someone - someone you loved who passed away, watching over you from heaven.” 

“Y/N said they was good luck.” Daryl replied. 

Beth shrugged. “Same thing.” 

It was this thought that kept Daryl going for a long time. The idea that even if you were dead, you were watching over him somehow. He sure as hell didn’t believe that someone like Merle would be an angel - but you, you definitely were. And even if it was a waste of your eternal life, you would be determined to watch over Daryl - to make sure that he was safe, well-guided. 

You would make sure that he was lucky. 

That thought alone carried him through the long journey to D.C. 

It was something that lingered in his mind as the group hunkered down in a random barn - as he spotted something carved into one of the wooden beams holding the place up. Even though it wasn’t colored, he could have sworn that the long tail and pointed head of the silhouette indicated that the carving was meant to be cardinal. Of course. 

Who knows who had stayed in the barn before them - if it had been left there by a weary traveler, or even put there by someone who had used the barn before the turn. But Daryl could have sworn that you - your ghost, your angelic hand - had led him to this very spot. 

It was a thought that gave him strength as he held the doors up - helped to keep them from caving in while the storm raged outside. 

Your luck, and your damn bird - you would keep him safe. 

When they reached Alexandria, and they were forced to give up their weapons - Daryl spotted your bird perched on the fence. Bright red, with its pointy head cocked sideways at him. All too knowing, staring at him like it wanted to say something. Just like it had been when he had fallen off the cliff out in the woods when he had been looking for Sophia. 

Oddly enough, it made him feel safe giving up his crossbow - perching it on top of the fully loaded cart of weapons before the awkward, bespeckled woman wheeled it away. 

Rick was still weary of this new place after Terminus, and Daryl understood. He followed Rick’s lead. Especially because he couldn’t tell Rick that he had a good feeling about this place because he saw a damn bird. 

But even if it was just in spirit, he felt you there. He knew that it was the home you had chosen for them.