#not even to speak of the smooth muscle cramps! avoid those too if you can

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all, weird question time again! I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this one, but asking anyway: If you are having severe muscle cramps/knots/tension all over your body and go to a doctor/urgent care/hospital for them, assuming the doctor believes it's something that needs treatment, the only things they can give you are anti-inflammatories, pain relief, muscle relaxers, or like an IV to rehydrate you if it turns out to be caused by dehydration, right? I know those are three very broad categories of treatment, I'm not asking for specifics within those categories, just if there are options outside of them (I am allergic to NSAIDs, already on corticosteroids for unrelated reasons, probably shouldn't have muscle relaxers or stronger pain meds for "my blood pressure looks for any excuse to crash" reasons, and am staying on top of hydration and electrolytes, but this round of muscle cramps is bad, even for me)

[dimensionwriter]

Hammer Away

Gender Neutral! Orc x F! Reader

Word Count: 2,756 words

Warning: None

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So, hi. So big news, I'm working on a way to start up commissions. Since I have some free time, I would be able to do them now. So watch out for that post if you are interested. For now, enjoy this beautiful story.

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Moving to the city was a big deal for you. It was your first step towards that adulthood freedom you always heard about and creating yourself for the future. It was your time to shine in this world.

And things seem to be going great. You got this cute contemporary apartment that was high up, so you could see the sun rising over the city. You got this cool job at a retro cafe and worked at a library on weekends. Things were looking up in your life.

That was until the lot next to you got sold and all of a sudden a hotel was going to be built there. You really didn't think much of it since it didn't block your beautiful view. But your opinion changed really quickly.

You got into the habit every morning to walk past the construction site and peak over the wooden fence to see what was going on. There would be a bunch of orcs working with a bunch of construction equipment. The way they just move so easily with such massive objects just captivated you.

At first, they didn't notice you, but around the 5th day, they did. It shocked you to peek over the fence and see a group of talking orcs stop and wave at you. You were not prepared for that and embarrassingly, you may have ducked down while running away.

You didn't peak over the fence for the next two days. You knew it was a dumb thing to do, but you were too scared of them getting mad at you for always peaking over. You didn't want to seem like one of those creepy humans that was always staring at other creatures like they were some type of zoo animal.

On the 8th day, you grew curious again when you heard what sound to be wielding. You went to a new part of the fence, a few feet from your normal spot, and peaked over. A small one couldn’t cause any damage, right?

The foundation of the building was already built and they seemed to be working on the exoskeleton of it. Bars of metal were being lifted up by cranes along with orcs carrying them around as if they weighed nothing.

You noticed that one orc was staring at you. As soon as you made eye contact, his eyes lit up and he turned to an orc carrying an arm full of sandbags and tapped them. The working orc turned around with a confused look before their eyes landed on you. They seem to jump at seeing you, causing their hands to release the sandbags…right on their foot.

You ducked down at the scream that got ripped out of their throat. You were quick to run to your job after that. There was no way they weren't going to be mad at you now.

A full week went by with you avoiding the construction site like the plague. You were too scared to even go near it. You were expecting a manager to come up to your door and yell at you for distracting and injuring his workers. What if that orc tried to make you compensate them? You can't afford that. How much does damaging someone’s foot cost?

The Monday of the third week, you walked out of your apartment building to see that the wooden fence had changed into a wire fence. The amount of dread that overcame you felt like a tsunami. Whomever was watching over you was finding a huge amount of humour in your suffering?

You walked as fast as you could past the construction site. But you weren't fast enough.

"Hey! Human! Watch out," someone yelled. You turned your head towards the construction site to see a small white object speeding towards you.

You didn't have any time to move. By the time you would've moved your leg, the ball would smash into your face. If you tried to dodge it, your body would move too slow since you just used precision time standing here and thinking.

You flinched as you saw it get extremely close. But instead of feeling your skull getting knocked into next week, a thick arm wrapped around your waist. You were dipped slightly and spun. What?

You open your eyes to see a figure above you. They seem to be a sort of shadow as the early sun creates this giant glow around them.

They tilted their head to the side allowing the sun rays to reach their face. You were met with a dark brown eye and a light green eye. Their hair was flowing down and seemed to encase you within them. The left side of the hair was pitch black while the right was pale white. They were really cute.

They opened their mouths to speak, but nothing came out. Their tusk was jutting out and touching the infinity ring dangling from their nose. A dark green forest was painting their skin as they stood still.

You leaned your head back and saw their muscular right arm was sticking up above you. Wrapped tightly in their fist was a softball. So that's what the white object was.

"I-I-I," they stuttered out like a broken record. You lifted your head back up and looked into their eyes. Their green skin was turning a dark blue colour and was spreading fast. Were they okay?

"You can let me up," you mumbled. Your legs were starting to cramp from being at this angle for so long. Most of your weight was in their arms, which you were kind of grateful for.

"Sorry," they yelped, yanking you forward. Everything blurred for a second before you were slammed into a stop. Their giant hand was gripping harshly on your shoulder as they held you up. You think you may have gotten whiplash.

"Thanks for the help. I gotta- I need to go to work," you slurred out trying to regain your being. Everything felt like it was still spinning.

"Of course. Sorry for being a nuisance," they squeaked out, shrinking into themselves. In your state of dizziness, you barely manage to give them a thumbs up before stumbling away to your job.

The next day, you felt kind of scared to cross past the construction site. You thought about it yesterday and began to wonder why a softball was flying that fast through a construction site. You may know nothing about the job, but you're pretty sure it doesn't require a softball.

You walked at a fast pace as you got closer to the construction site. This time you were going to keep a close eye out. No softball is going to catch you off guard this time.

As you walk past, you realize orcs work a lot faster than humans do. The exoskeleton of the building, which looked to be 7 stories, was already done. Except for one long metal bar that was extended a little over the fence. There were a few orcs on it that were yelling at someone on the ground.

"Bro…she's right there…just talk…okay fine." You looked down on the ground to see who they were talking to. You recognized them instantly.

It was the orc that saved you yesterday. Today, their hair was pulled into a high messy bun that looked like it was going to fall apart if someone blew on it.

They glanced over at you and seemed to jump up high like a cartoon woman seeing a rat. You blinked slowly at them and waited for maybe a wave or something. But they just stood there with wide eyes and seemed too afraid to move. Were they frightened by you? Well, they probably were since you probably damaged their hand because you were too slow to move, and now that you looked at them, they looked like the orc that you caused to drop that sandbag. Yeah, they definitely had a reason.

You turned your head away and was about to walk away. When you hear a voice above you scream," Whoospie. Oh no, human!" It was so sarcastic and insincere that you thought maybe they were making jokes about what happened yesterday.

It was until you saw a wall of green running towards you. You barely had time to turn your head before you felt a pair of arms wrapped around your waist. You were wrapped into a ball full of muscles. A strong wift of cinnamon and pine flooded your senses. They smell really good.

Something cold and wet splashed on your arm causing you to jolt in surprise. The thing around you let out a shiver from that weird substance splashing onto it. It seems that they took most of the hit instead of you.

Slowly, the arms unwrapped from around you and you were pulled straight up. You glanced up to see a pair of brown and green eyes staring down at you in slight panic. Water slowly dripped down the front of their face into their soaked shirt.

"Sorry-dry-um," they let out a low cough before starting again," You didn't get wet, right?" They scanned their eyes briskly over you as their eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"I'm fine, but you're not," you yelped, taking in their soaked form. The white shirt they were wearing was completely see through now and they're jeans were a very dark blue. It wasn't cold, but it would still be uncomfortable standing there soaked. "Stay here."

You turned around and ran as fast as you could to your apartment. You felt so bad for always getting in this orc's way. This poor orc has had their foot smashed in, hand probably bruised from that softball, and now they're soaking wet.

Maybe it would be better if you took a different path to work. You're like a bad omen to this site. Yeah, that's the plan.

You returned back outside with two pairs of towels. The orc wasn't standing where you previously left them. You did tell them to stay there, right? So, where did they go off to?

"Dude, that was so smooth. The way you slid in and wrapped yourself around her," a squeaky voice whispered nearby. You realized that the talking was coming from a portable building.

"It was anything but smooth. Didn't you see how she ran away?" Another one sighed out with a small whimper at the end. You held the towels tightly as you tiptoed closer to the building.

"She probably was too flustered from how awesome you are! I saw her whisper something to you before she ran away. Spill it," a deeper baritone voice cheered on. The sound of a loud hit followed by coughing came from the building.

You stepped towards the building and noticed a small window. It would hypothetically be the perfect height to peak in through. But from all your previous tries, it always ends up in something bad.

But, if you only do it for a few seconds, you should be fine. A few seconds peak won't change anything. Yeah, just a tiny peak.

Tip toeing over to the window, you took a deep breath to calm yourself. You just want to make sure that the orc is okay then you will leave. They have been taking a lot of hits for you and you never got a chance to repay them.

You slowly stood up until your eyes were leveled with the window. Inside of the room were a bunch of chairs around a small table. All the chairs were filled with orcs, but one orc was sitting in the corner balled up. You could see their soaked shirts from all the way over here.

“I wasn’t paying attention to what she said. All I was thinking was that she smelled really really good. Then I blinked and she was running away. Guess my monstrous size scared her,” they mumbled out in defeat. Their hand slowly went up into their hair and started gripping it harshly. The others in the room started to instantly express their disbelief.

“If she was scared of our size, then why has she been coming by here for the longest time. People don’t tend to frequently visit something if they fear it,” the orc closest to them spoke, patting them gently on the head. Their hands untangled themselves from their hair allowing the black and white strands to fall over their face.

Since you were so busy staring at the orc in the corner, you didn’t notice the female orc across from the window staring at you. She bumped the shoulder of the man beside her and flicked her head towards you. Putting a hand over his mouth, he whispered for everyone to glance at the window. It was loud enough for everyone to hear but the poor orc in the corner and you.

“Maybe you should just plainly ask her out,” the female orc in the corner said with a smirk. The orc jolted straight up and stared at her in bewilderment. They furiously shook their head as they squeezed themselves into the corner. “Andy, I’m telling you, you’re just overthinking it.”

“Trust me, she wouldn’t go for someone like. I’m not going to shoot my shot, if I’m in the middle of the ocean, millions of miles away from a hoop,” the orc, who you assumed was Andy, rambled sliding down the wall. The other orcs shook their heads at him and you felt that some of them were glancing at you. Have they already noticed you?

“I am telling you that the hoop is right there, I mean right there,” an orc turned his head so he was staring right at you. Instead of ducking down, you stayed put. You were kind of liking where this was going.

“I’m nothing more than a lump of sea grass floating through the ocean,” Andy whined out balling up. One orc stuck his hands out and pretended to strangle him in frustration. After a second, his rage dissipated and he just sunk into his chair.

The female orc let out a low groan before yelling,” Forget it.” Andy jumped a little and their pretty eyes were widening in panic as they looked around confused. “Ay, human up there. Are you interested in going on a date with this orc?”

Finally, Andy’s head lifted up and spotted you through the window. You had given up a while ago after figuring out they could see you, and was standing at full height. You are kind of surprised that Andy didn’t notice you before. It’s kind of adorable how clueless they are.

“I’ve been standing out here for a while hoping for one,” you joked, sending them a wink. Andy’s face exploded into blue as his brown and green eyes sparkling with happiness. They jumped up and tripped over the chair in front of them, but recovered quickly. Within a quick second, they were staring you dead in the eyes with so much hope.

“Are you free this afternoon? Or is that too soon? I can go with any schedule of yours,” they babbled out rocking on their feet. Their hair was floating around them like some sort of halo. Gosh, this adorable hunk of orc has had a crush on you this entire time. You feel that it should have been the other way around.

“This evening is fine. I should be able to meet you right here around 6. How does that sound?” you asked tilting your head to the side. Their eyes melted slowly and you swear small lights of hearts appeared on their eyes.

“It sounds perfect,” they whispered, giving you a giant smile. You leaned forward and pressed a swift kiss to the window. Even though you didn’t touch them, their face hued darker and their eyes were shining so hard.

“Now, I better get to work before my boss gets mad. See you in a couple of hours,” you yelled jumping off the ledge and running to your job. You just hoped your boss wouldn’t mind you being so late. But whatever was facing you at work, you felt you could deal with, especially when you have a date with such an adorable orc.

As you ran down the sidewalk, the last thing you heard from the construction site was,” I guess you can still make the hoop from the ocean,” followed by loud laughter. A smile made its way to your face as you turned the corner.

See you at 6, Andy.

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Once again I am creating these soft orcs. I promise, one day I will create something better.

Anyway, please leave a Like and Reblog. I love it so much when you guys Comment, I think i reread them like 20 times. It's nice to see that people actually see this content instead of it just passing by in this overwhelming source dump.

Thank you so much for reading. As said earlier, keep your eyes out for a post about commissions from me.

[toplinetommy]

Without Warning - Matthew Tkachuk

Synopsis: A college!AU where Matty is playing D1 hockey with people he’s actually played with at various levels (he’s in like his third year in this and is going to the NHL after)

Words: 2.9k

A/N: purely basing this off of my friend’s D2 college hockey experiences, stereotypical guy talk is mentioned (like pulling girls), gif credit to @matthewtkafuck

“Just come out with us Chucky!” His captain, Noah yells across the locker room to him. The boys were buzzing, coming off a two-game series sweep against their state rivals, propelling them to a first place spot in the division.

He began taking his chest pads off, contemplating the idea, “I don’t know man.” On one hand, he could go out and finally let loose after a long week of tough practices and study sessions, but on the other he could run into the one person he avoided on campus: you. 

“Bro, you never come out anymore, just let loose!” His center, Auston, advises. 

As Matthew pushes his pads into his bag, he looks around the room. The energy is high and he can tell everyone is deciding to go out and even talking about their post-bar plans. Besides, the weather was actually nice for this time of year. The snow from last week’s storm had finished melting away and the temperature was higher than it normally was for late February in Boston.

“Sure.”

--

The first hour or two of him being at the bar passed by like a blur. Him and Noah had decided to go drink for drink throughout the night and had even started stacking their cups in the corner of the booth their group occupied.

The loud house music beats into Matthew’s ears as he and Noah walk back up to the bar for their next round of drinks. Once they both shout their orders over the loud bass, Noah starts talking about this new girl he’s hooking up with. Matthew listens lightly, deciding he doesn’t really want to hear the specific details of Maya. Or was it Mia? Megan? He didn’t know, and he quite honestly was tired of hearing about it.

“And the other day she came over after practice and bud,” He starts, the bartender cutting them off as he returns with the drinks. Matthew tells him to keep it on his tab before Noah continues. “She did this thing when I was about to -” 

Matthew’s attention on Noah completely halts as he sees y/n’s small but mighty frame on the other side of the L-shaped bar. Her hair was down, framing her face just the way he liked. Noah noticed the stop in Matthew’s breathing and followed his gaze to where she stood.

“Oh, shit.” Noah remarks.

Noah claps his hand down onto Matthew’s shoulder as they both eye her from their spots. Matthew’s feet feel like cinder blocks as he fails to move so she doesn't catch a glimpse of him. As he starts to regain feeling in his body moments later, he brings his cup to his mouth ditching the straw to take a larger than necessary gulp of the alcohol.

He’s pulled away from his cup, however, when he hears her all too familiar laugh, he tenses back up and debates finishing it in one pull. Her head leans back, exposing the skin of her neck as she rests her free hand on the bicep of the man next to her. Of Matthew’s teammate. Of Matthew’s friend.

He turns heavily on his heels, planning to put as much space between the two of the two of them as he possibly could in the run-down college bar. Noah followed closely behind him, coming to a halt at the booth they were once sat at earlier in the night.

“I didn't know she’d be here, bud.” Noah claimed to Matthew, the rest of the guys turning their heads to their conversation.

“Why wouldn't she be here, Noah? It’s literally the place to be on a Saturday night.” Matthew reasoned, rubbing his forehead with his hand that wasn’t holding his drink.

“Why wouldn’t who be here?” one of the freshmen asked, confused as to the situation unfolding in front of them.

“Y/n,” Matthew groans, color draining from his face when he sees her walking in the general direction of the table he’s occupied himself at. He quickly plops down next to Tyler even though there wasn’t nearly enough space for him. “Don’t move, she’s coming over here.” 

Tyler, very nonchalantly, whips his head in the direction Matthew was just looking in to find her. Tyler catches her gaze, and he curses under his breath due to her visibly recognizing him.

Matthew slaps the bicep of his friend for doing next to nothing to avoid her from making her way over to him and his group.

“Hey, Matty,” she greets, causing Matthew’s head to snap up in her direction. He greets her back with his signature tight-lipped smile, hoping that this would cause her to walk away quicker.

“I heard you guys beat Harvard,” She states. Hearing her voice erupts all the past memories of her that Matthew tried so hard to erase over the course of the past few weeks. Her voice is sweet and smooth like honey, completely contradicting the way things ended between the two of you.

Matthew moves to his feet, standing up from the cramped bench he failed to hide himself on. “Hey, y/n.” He greets lowly, looking from your eyes down to your feet. He does it quickly, hesitating to keep his eyes trained on your features for longer than a few seconds. His actions go unnoticed, as she opens her mouth to begin talking again.

“How have you been?” She asks, bringing her glass of whiskey to her lips. He watches her lick the remaining droplets off her lips when she’s done.

“Good, first in the division.” He answers shortly. Matthew leans his body against the wood paneled wall, hand still clasping his drink. He pushes his hands through his curls that he let free for once. Which he soon remembered was something she liked about him, making him feel a little self-conscious in the moment.

“That’s good,” She hums, taking a step towards his stiff figure. This time it was her turn to run her eyes over his body, though she did it much more purposefully and made sure he noticed her actions. He did, and his stomach twisted wondering if she liked the way he looked tonight. He had opted for a pair of light-wash jeans and flannel over his hoodie combo instead of his usual dark grey sweats and t-shirt. 

In the moment he was battling internally with himself on whether or not he really wanted to continue to talk to you, but as soon as her hand softly handed on the muscles of his bicep, the battle was over. He visibly lightened on his feet, slouching a much more normal amount than he previously was and he crossed his ankles as he leant more weight on his one leg.

“I noticed you’ve been playing really well recently.” She compliments, speaking loudly over the thumps of the speakers. He reads her facial features, her eyes are much softer than he remembers and her cheeks are especially pink due to her love of blush and the alcohol in her system.

He smiles just wide enough to show his dimples at the compliment, always one to talk about his accomplishments, especially when it’s about how he plays on the ice. “Thanks, the boys have been rolling lately.” 

“It’s good seeing you all having fun, too.” She starts, gesturing to the group of players. “I know you don’t let yourself have too much fun too often.” The comment she makes is true, and even more so lately due to her. He holds back a scoff at the comment before speaking up.

“There’s a few people I don’t risk running into.” He says bluntly, leaning away from her so she can clearly see the lack of emotion on his face. “I kinda got roped into coming out tonight.” He watches her face falter a bit at the comment. 

Throughout the entirety of their relationship, y/n had only really seen the softer side of Matthew. The two of them had consistently spent time together over the course of the school year, but primarily behind closed doors. Hell, she barely even went to his games even after telling him about her love for the sport.

She still ignores his blatant call out towards her, choosing to not settle on that talking point. An awkward silence falls between the two of them, the loud music and chatter from the crowd filling their ears. 

“What have you been up to?” She asks, and God, all Matthew can think about is how awkward this all is. At one point a few weeks ago, conversation was carelessly easy between the two of them and they talked almost every minute of every day.

In the moment, he knows it’s not the best idea to open up to her again, but he doesn’t really think about all of the bad consequences a simple conversation between the two of them can have.

“Just the usual, hockey, workouts, going to classes, spending all my time at the hockey house.” He answers, voice much tamer than before. He takes another small sip from his cup as you offer him a reply.

Conversation continues to flow between the two of you as the two of you catch up on what the other has been doing since they stopped talking all those weeks ago. He starts to see the crowd thin out, indicating that the two of them have been talking for much longer than he realized.

She steps up on her toes, leaning in further and moving her hand up towards his shoulder, and whispers into his ear, “Hey, you wanna get outta here?”

His head pulls away from hers craning his neck so his eyes are looking into hers. He contemplates saying no for exactly one second before she licks her lips and his mind is made up. “Sure.”

She moves from Matthew’s eyes to his mouth, before she leans in and places her glossy lips on his. A fire lights inside him as he kisses her for the first time in what feels like forever and it’s a feeling he definitely knows he missed.

He pulls away, only enough to speak, “I can drive, I haven’t gotten a new drink in a while.”

She double checks that he’s good to drive before he takes her hand in his and begins to lead her outside. He quickly lets the boys know that he’s heading home and that he’ll see him tomorrow. He continues to walk towards the exit and opens the door for her.

As the two of them step outside, the weather has done a complete 180 from what it was earlier in the night. Where the ground was once clear, there was starting to be a light patch of white snow covering both the pavement and the grass. Y/n shivers in her tank top, and Matthew pulls her closer to his tall frame.

Heavy snowflakes continued to fall as he drove the two of them back to his house off-campus. He turned to look at her in the passenger seat, lightly laughing, “Ya know, I was supposed to celebrate the win tonight with the boys and here I am. Driving you home in the midst of a snow storm.”

She giggled at that, igniting a blush on Matthew’s cold cheeks. He reaches for the knob that controls the temperature in the car, and turns the heat up once more. As he pulls his hand away, y/n grabs it and laces their fingers together.

He gets them to his house, pulling into the crowded driveway before meeting her at the hood of his car. She leans up to him, signifying for a kiss. He meets her halfway, placing his hands on the small of her back. They stand there, kissing in the cold, snowy night for a few more minutes as his hands roam down to her ass. She pulls away from him, lightly tugging on his curls, as he feels his hands grab her ass in a not-so innocent way.

“We should probably go inside.”

“Good idea,” He chuckles, guiding her up the slippery sidewalk towards the front door. 

As they walk through the front door, one of his roommates, Micheal, is sitting on the couch. “Hey, y/n” He greets with a smirk, “Haven’t seen you around in a while.”

Matthew shoots him daggers as y/n says hi back to him. Michael looks like he’s about to start a conversation, but before he can Matthew yanks y/n up the stairs by their intertwined hands towards his room.

The minor comment his roommate makes sticks in his brain as y/n takes her shoes off and sets them by his desk. He watches her sit on the edge of his bed and he tugs a hand through his curls.

“You shouldn’t have come over.” He states bluntly, standing still a few feet in front of her sitting figure.

“You’re the one that drove me here.” She states pointedly.

“You’re the one that roped me into this bullshit! Like you always do!” He exclaims, pointing at her with flailing arms.

“I did not! I asked you if you wanted to leave and you said yes!” She argues, confusion laced in her tone.

“Why did you even come up and talk to me?” Matthew asks, softly. “We haven't had a conversation in weeks and we ignore each other if we see the other in public.” He was honestly tired, tired of the situations she put him in and tired of how he’s felt lately.

“I don’t know, I just -” She stumbled over her words before Matthew interrupted her,

“You know damn well the games you wanted to play when you walked up to me and said good game.” He states matter of factly. He watches her think of a response as he paces in the small space of his bedroom. 

“I missed you!” She exclaims, raising her voice once again. Matthew actually laughs at her statement, throwing his head back as he hears those words come out of her mouth.

“That’s rich coming from you,” Matthew scolds. “You can’t say you missed me when you were the one stopping us from being anything more than what we were! I told you all the time how much I liked you and you just kept telling me you didn’t want a boyfriend and I thought I was fine with that.”

He pauses to take a breath and to collect his thoughts further, he keeps his eyes trained on the wall behind the bed that she’s sat on. The alcohol that was once in his system is completely gone due to the anger in his blood. 

“I let myself be okay with what we were and I let myself be okay with you manipulating me.”

“I did not manipulate you.”

“Yes, you fucking did!”

“I let you do whatever the hell you wanted to do and you chose to be with me, and don’t lie about how I was the only one. I know damn well you were sleeping with other people!” She exclaims. She’s standing now, right in front of Matthew’s towering figure.

“Yeah, because you never said anything about it just being us so you can’t be mad at that!” He yells. He takes half a step closer towards her, head leaned downwards to fully look at her. Both of their jaws are tense and their cheeks pink from the anger. Matthew’s eyes are starting to droop from the combination of the game he played earlier that night, the drinking and just the overall feeling of tiredness he had been feeling lately.

“I’m not mad!” She roared, raising her voice to match Matthew’s.

“Then why are you yelling?”

“Because I’m drunk!” She flails, bringing her hands in front of her face, flexing them in frustration.

“That’s fucking bullshit.” He challenged, moving the rest of the way towards her. He grabs her hands and moves them from where they were in front of his face.

“I let your friends chirp me about our relationship all the time. Every time I saw your roommate at the bar and you weren’t there she’d make jokes about me not being with my ‘girlfriend’ and every time one of them introduced who I was to someone else they’d call me your boyfriend. Literally everyone was calling me your boyfriend except for you!”

“If you didn’t want it all to blow up like it did you should've talked to me.”

“And say what? Hey, I can’t sleep with you anymore unless your friends stop talking to me? I liked talking to your friends, I liked the idea of being called your boyfriend.” He argued further, trying his hardest to get his point of view across.

“I told you a million times that I didn’t want that!” She exclaims, “I was constantly checking in with you to make sure you understood that and you always said you did.”

“Because I wanted to be with you however you wanted.” He reasoned back with her, lowering his voice to the calmest it’s been all night. She stood up as he finished speaking, bringing her face closer to his.

She looked into his tired eyes a moment longer before apologizing and leaning in to connect her lips with his. She found her hands tangled in the hair at the back of his neck as he moved his hands from her cheeks down to her waist, before pushing her back onto his bed.

All he could think of as she walked out of his room was that if he would've just set his drink down at the bar last night and left, he wouldn't be laying in his bed right now, thinking about how he would have to start from square one to get over her again. He quite honestly may have been in love with her, but he couldn’t admit that to himself in the moment and he probably never would.

Matthew was finally feeling like himself for the first time in a long time, until she came in and wrecked his world, much like a hurricane.

[readbeneaththelines]

The Bough That Broke Pt. 9

Synopsis: Jin is injured from an avoidable accident, leaving him partially paralyzed from the waist down. Reader is the nurse that is hired to take care of him once he gets back to the dorms and begins the physically and emotionally painful road to recovery. Will she have what it takes to spark determination in him to get back on the stage?

Characters: Idol!Jin x Nurse!Reader

Genre: Whump, Angst, Itty Bittyamount of crack, itty bitty amount of fluff, maybeeeeeee some smut

Warnings: not much this chapter!

Word Count: 1531

“Well if it isn’t little miss sleepyhead.” Jack’s amused tone had you sitting upright instantly. The aroma of freshly cooked breakfast filled the sitting room and the chatter of seven, no eight, male voices filled the room. When you looked beside you, you expected to see Jack, but instead it was Jin. 

“How long have I been asleep?” you mumbled, hurriedly trying to smooth your tousled hair. Jin chuckled at you as Jack knelt in front of you. 

“You have missed Jin’s therapy session, its ten o’clock. Everyone is just about to leave. You want to head home? You need to get some good sleep considering you were up late.” Jack sat cross-legged in front of you, a bit of worry etched into his features.

“I’m good. I just need to take a quick shower, then change. If you don’t mind staying here with him until i get back, I will hurry home.” You went to stand, only to have Jin grab your wrist.

“Y/N, why don’t you take the day off? Jack worked with me alot this morning, teaching me how to properly transfer. The others are only going to be gone for a bit, I think I can manage by myself for a few hours.”

You looked at Jin, then back to Jack. You really were exhausted after last night, considering you didn’t get to sleep until after four a.m. The rest had fallen asleep a few hours before you and Jin. Speaking of which, how can he be so wide awake after so little sleep?

“Aren’t you tired Jin? You didn’t go to sleep until I came in here. You have to be tired.” You sat back down with even noticing. Namjoon set a plate in front of you, handing you chopsticks so you could start eating. Next jimin came over with juice and coffee. Before you knew what was happening, everyone had gathered around the coffee table and was eating. They quickly finished, clearing the plates from the table as they went to get ready to leave. You were about to get back up when Jin mentioned an idea.

“Take a shower here, get a bit more sleep. Consider yourself a guest today, not a nurse. When they get back, you can go home. It would be nice to have someone to talk to.” He gave you that grin, that cocky, self assured grin, that you would come to adore. That grin that, down the road, would have you doing anything he wanted.

If only you knew now, what you will know then. 

“Jin, I couldn’t possibly intrude like that. Besides, I have already overstayed my welcome by oversleeping.”  Jin frowned, and you sighed. How could you say no to spending time with one of the most popular guys in K-Pop? The things you could learn about who he really is, on the other side of the microphone.

“Fine, but only because you insist. I will go shower now while Jack is still here.” You stood up, bid everyone farewell and headed for the shower.

The water eased away the fatigue of cramped muscles, and refreshed you. You turned the hot water to full blast, letting the steam fill the stall and the heated water penetrate deep into your back muscles. You rarely slept somewhere besides your bed, considering that your back suffered for a few days after.  You would never let on to Jin or the others, knowing they would probably feel bad for letting you sleep on the couch. Once you were scrubbed and your ack felt a thousand times better,you stepped out. You grabbed a towel from the rack, wrapping it around your hair then took another to dry off with. Just as you finished and wrapped it around you, there was a knock at the door. 

Cracking the door open, you peered around the edge, only to see Jack standing on the other side.

“I was just going to tell you that I am leaving. He’s sitting on the couch. Do you need anything before  leave?”

“Nah, thanks for helping out and getting him settled. Tell him I’ll be in there in a few. See you tomorrow.” He waved and left, leaving you to get dressed. But, there was only one little problem with that. Your bag was in the room where Jin was, sitting on the couch.

Shit!

You adjusted the towel the best you could, securing it tightly before stepping out of the bathroom. 

“Jin.” you called out, standing just behind the corner of the main wall. You could just see him, while still being out of view. There was no response, and when you looked harder, you could see that he was fast asleep.

Damn it all to hell!

You inhaled deeply, steeling your nerves as you stepped around the corner. You tiptoed softly across the tiled floor, the ceramic tiles cold under your feet. You were just about to reach over the back of the couch when his head popped up and eyes opened wide. 

Your eyes met his, and you froze. His gaze fixated on you, trailing slowly from your face to your bared, and now flushed, upper chest. 

“Ummm. I need my bag.” You managed to half whisper as you watched his eyes move back to your face. Without looking away, he reached beside him, grabbed the bag and handed it to you. You snatched it from his hands, turning to run back down the hall. You could hear his chuckle, which abruptly ended when he noticed the long, deep red scar that ran from between your shoulders then under the towel. 

It was then that he remembered your story. Did his scar look like that? Did his scar match yours? 

Flustered and a bit confused, you quickly got dressed. You fixed your hair, then brushed your teeth. Packing everything away, you went back into the main room, only to see Jin deep in thought. You nervously sat down i the chair across from him, your fingers fidgeting and picking at the torn cuticle on your ring finger.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled under his breath. You looked up through your lashes, attempting to gauge his words.

“For what?” you asked, lifting your head to finally look at him full on.

“For, well umm, staring earlier. It was rude and I am sorry that it made you uncomfortable.” he ran his hands up and down his thighs, unsure of what else to say. He wanted to ask you about your scar, but didn’t want to make things more uncomfortable.

“It’s okay, Jin. I thought you were asleep. I’m sure I caught you off guard.” You began laughing, then he joined in. After a few minutes, you were both holding your stomachs from laughing at your predicaments.

“Can I ask you a sort of personal question?” He finally asked.

“Sure.” 

“Does your scar ever bother you? I mean, if people see it, does it bother you if they stare at it? Do you feel it and wish it wasn’t there?” 

You thought on his question, wondering when the last time was that you really thought about it. You didn’t wear revealing clothes that showed it. You really didn’t look at it in the mirror, except on the occasions that you had a doctor’s appointment and you had to use a mirror to check for any problems. 

“Yes and no. It’s part of who I am. It reminds me of how far I have come. It does bother me at times though. I often think about if people will be turned off if they were to see it, to know about what I have been through. You know, will they think that I have limitations that, well.” you words trailed off as you waited for him to get the idea you were trying to get across.

“Ahh, I get it. But, are you comfortable in your own skin?” You realized he was thinking about what he would feel.

“Honestly? Sometimes I’m not. I don’t feel attractive. I feel like I am flawed. But I try to lift myself up, and tell myself that I am still the same person I was before. I am still me. You are still you, Jin. You didn’t change who you are. Yes, you have a few scars now, but those don’t define you. You are still the same handsome, funny guy you were before this accident.”

“You, you think I’m handsome?” His eyebrows wiggled as a grin grew on his face.

“You are something, Kim Seokjin.” 

The day passed with you two sharing childhood stories. The others returned late that evening, and you were still there. 

“Wow! Look at the time. I really need to get home and get in my own bed. Jin I had a great time today. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you for keeping me company today. I appreciate all the help today too.”  He wheeled to the door, holding it open for you. You bent down, not even thinking, and gave him a hug before leaving. He quickly hugged you back, then after the door closed, turned to the others and shrugged.

“What was that about?”

@beautifulseoulliar  @astronomyturtle @aspaceformyself @dreamyoongi @holy-yoongi @trashkazuya @maxinaptak @micky1518 @rosiemilas @karri570​ @jeontaes-world​ @mtgforall​

@seoulsunshineandstories @kwonnansi @xjamlessparkx @berryjam17

 @flora-jimin

[telli1206]

The Wedding Date

Snow White is getting married. Let the week-long festivities begin! Evie can’t wait to celebrate her sister’s upcoming nuptials. There’s only one little problem: she’s supposed to bring a date, and she hasn’t told her mom yet that she’s a lesbian (ok, she’s afraid to tell her)! She’ll be damned if she lets Snow’s wedding be the moment that her mom finds out her secret and ruins Snow’s special day. So to avoid the issue, Evie convinces Jay to join her and pose as her date/boyfriend to keep her mom off her back. That should be easy enough to fake for a week, right?

Also posted to AO3:  http://archiveofourown.org/works/23281867

Chapter 1 - The Arrival

—--

“I swear Evie, if you play one more gushy love ballad sappy mush song I’m going to stop right here and drop kick you out of the car!”

Evie giggles and reaches to turn down the radio. After four hours cooped up together in a car, it’s clear tensions are getting high.

“Relax Jay. Are you really getting your panties in a bunch over some love songs? We’re heading to a wedding, I’m just trying to get in the mood. You’re such a killjoy, honestly.”

“In…the mood? I love you, doll, but you know we’re not the ones getting married, right? I mean, you’re cute and all, but I’m just not ready to settle down yet.” Jay can’t help but chuckle at his own masterful sense of humor.

Evie sighs and rolls her eyes at Jay, and he takes it as a victory. He knows she tries to push down their flirty banter like she doesn’t think it’s funny, but she secretly loves it.

“You know you’re lucky you’re cute, right? I think you use that smile and your big strong muscles to distract from your obvious lack of charm.” Evie’s smile right now must be as wide as the berth she thinks she has to taunt Jay.

“Ouch, Eves. You wound me.”

He grabs his gut like he’s been punched but is still being cautious to keep his other hand on the wheel.

Quiet breathy laughs eventually die down into a comfortable silence. Looking over at her friend, Evie smiles to herself. His hair is pulled back into a neat bun, and he looks much more presentable than usual in the black skinny jeans, fitted white button down, and open black herringbone vest that she had picked out for him to wear. He looks downright dashing.

The less than presentable Jay that she first met pops into her head, the one that lived in sweatpants, always with a tangled mess of untamed long, dark hair that would constantly sweep into his face and eyes.

The first time he approached her at college orientation almost three years ago he had tried his best tactics to make her swoon, dropping obvious pickup lines that Evie found both annoying and eye roll inducing, his hair continuously tipping into his face as he tried to be smooth. The memories of awkward flirty Jay cause a tiny chuckle to bubble up into her throat.

“What’s so funny Princess? Would you mind letting me in on the joke?” Jay says, giving her a sideways glance.

Jerking her out of those thoughts gives her an idea. Jay’s not going to like this, but she really can’t resist.

“Jay, do you remember the pickup line you used on me the first time we met?”

Jay shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “What the hell made you even think of that? You know that’s NOT my proudest moment,” he groans, trying to keep his eyes on the road.

Evie lets out a little giggle. She’s trying her hardest to not start laughing, but damned if Jay’s flirting fails aren’t her favorite form of entertainment.

“C’mon. What did you say I was?” Her smile twists as tears start to well up in her eyes. Her face is getting red from holding back.

Jay sighs. “A magnet.”

“Oh yes, a magnet,” Evie snickers lightly. “Because you were…attracted to me?”

That’s enough to send Evie into a fit of laughter, her chest already heaving from holding her breath. She wipes away some tears with the back of her hand, careful to be precise so as not to ruin her makeup.

“Ok, ok, I know. I never used that line again did I? And my flirting has gotten better, you have to admit. I haven’t heard any complaints since,” he says with a quirk of his brows.

Evie groans playfully, giving Jay’s thigh a loving pat.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. I got the best friend out of it, didn’t I?” She grins warmly at him. “It was worth any cheesy pickup line you wanted to throw my way.”

Jay smiles at her, nodding his head in agreement. “Despite what I thought at the time, I’m glad we ended up as friends too,” he chuckled.

Evie lets the laughter die down again before she speaks, her tone a little more serious. “You know I owe you big for doing this, right?” Jay looks at her, surprised, and shakes his head vigorously. “You’re really saving me here.”

“You owe me? For what? A week of fun, no school, and loads of free food? With the wedding bash of the year to top it all off? I should be thanking you Eves. This is totally going to beat crashing in my cramped apartment our entire Spring break.”

“Thanks, but all that’s hardly worth the price of helping me lie to my mom, if you ask me,” Evie mutters, almost under her breath.

“Oh, please,” Jay says. He puts a hand on her shoulder and rubs it reassuringly, “It’s not your fault your mom is obsessed with this ‘finding you the perfect prince’ idea. I just wish you didn’t feel like you needed to hide the truth from her. She should be happy for you. Want you to be happy. She’s your mom, it should be as simple as that.”

“It never is with Grimhilde,” Evie sighs. “And anyway, Snow’s wedding is not the time or place to confront her with the reality of her having a daughter that’s looking for her ‘perfect princess’ instead of a prince. Let’s just…make our relationship story convincing enough to get through the week and I can deal with this again at a more…appropriate time.”

“Sure thing. Any idea when that will be?” Jay glances at Evie’s expression out of the corner of his eye. Even through his joking, she can hear the faint hopefulness in his tone.

She just sighs loudly. “Can we just worry about our story for now?” Jay concedes, but still airs his frustration with a single loud huff. 

“Ok then,” Evie nods. “So, my mom knows how we met, but how did we start dating?”

“Let’s say…I charged the bleachers after we won a game, and I asked you out in front of the whole crowd. Does that sound good? That way I look romantic and heroic and sexy,” Jay smirks, waggling his eyebrows for emphasis.

“Fine.” Evie puffs. “I have no idea how that makes you look sexy, but I guess I can work with it. Then…that had to happen about 11 months-ish ago? Give or take. Close to a year. I’m pretty sure that lines up with the last time you came home with me and my mom saw you.”

 “It’s been that long since I’ve come home with you for the weekend?” Jay hints with surprise. “I would think your mom would want to see me more. I thought I really won her over.” Jay can’t help waggling his eyebrows teasingly.

Evie looks up at Jay through her thick lashes, an obvious smirk painted across her perfect red lips.

“You know she adores you. She never stops asking why I’m not with you yet. I couldn’t bring you with me for a while because…I just, I really didn’t want to remind her that you even exist. If she saw you she’d just keep nagging me about you and giving me tips to win you over.”

Jay can’t hide his shit-eating grin. It’s just so unbelievably satisfying when he has that kind of effect on people, even if it’s just Grimhilde.

“Well we’ll give her a show that will just make her day. Actually, her week. Her precious little Evie on the arm of a handsome college football jock. What could be better than that?”

If Jay’s smile got any wider, Evie fears it might just freeze that way.

“Well, if you’re asking me, I could think of a couple of things,” she giggles. “But my mom will be SO happy, and that will keep her off my back. So for that, I can’t thank you enough. Seriously, Jay. Thank you. You’re the best.”

She reaches for the hand in his lap and gives it a squeeze, smiling when she feels Jay’s hand tighten around hers. He smiles back but keeps his eyes forward as he turns the car down a long driveway.

“Of course, Princess. When will you get that I’d do anything for you? Forget about your mom. It’s going to be fine. She’ll be happy, and we’ll have a blast this week. Let’s just chill and enjoy it.”

A bright orange sunset distracts them both as it breaks through the trees lining the road. The driveway starts to open wider, revealing a massive castle, tinted pink and yellow through the sky’s array of colors. Beautiful floral arches decorated in delicate pinks and blues line the front of the courtyard, with groups of wedding guests filing in through them. The twinkle of hanging lights drips overhead, bathing the front of the castle in a luminous glow.

“How…gorgeous.” Evie breathes.

Jay nods in agreement and smiles. “Showtime.”

_____

“Shall we?” Jay walked around to Evie as she gets out of the car and extends his arm to her.

Evie stands up and tries to smooth any wrinkles out of her dress. The royal blue and white lace halter she designed especially for today couldn’t have come out better in her opinion. It fits like a dream, and the material seems to hold up well even after sitting in a car for hours. She smiles, happy enough with her appearance, and hooks her arm under Jay’s. “Thank you.” She says with a wide grin. “Such a gentleman.”

They walk arm in arm up to the courtyard. looking up in awe as they pass under the floral arch. Evie can see elegant rounded bar tables set up around the courtyard, draped in silky ivory tablecloths and adorned with bowls of floating lilies. Servers with trays are passing out champagne as guests chat and giggle amongst themselves, their bubbly drinks in hand.

Evie slows her wandering gaze when she spots Snow, standing front and center in the courtyard. She looks radiant in a baby blue sundress and pale-yellow pumps. Her hair is tied back neatly in a red ribbon that perfectly complements the faint red stain coloring her lips. She smiles brightly as she greets each guest, extending one hand for shaking while keeping the other intertwined with the handsome man at her side. He’s dressed impeccably in khakis and a pale-yellow blazer. His shining blue eyes and neatly waved brown hair are familiar to Evie. It takes her a moment, but then she realizes just how much her former high school classmate Chad Charming resembles his older brother.

To Snow’s left is someone Evie knows all too well. 

There’s no denying Grimhilde’s beauty. Despite a few wrinkles and clear frown lines that mar her creamy complexion, the high cheekbones, bright, dark eyes, and slender frame of her youth are still evident, allowing her to age gracefully into a very handsome woman. The elegant navy sheath dress she’s wearing only helps to enhance her pretty features.

If only she could just smile a little more, Evie thinks. Her lips are almost always pursed into a thin, tight line. Not a frown, but something no one would mistake for a smile. Her expression is mostly neutral, maybe with a faint hint of boredom, as she nods to each guest that approaches Snow and Christian.

Snow turns in her direction, and when she spots Evie she can see her sister’s eyes light up. She waves both hands above her head, almost frantically, as if she can’t see that Evie is looking right at her, eliciting a giggle from her little sister.

“Oh Evie, you’re finally here! Get over here - I need a hug!”

Evie gives Jay a tug and starts walking Snow’s way, and she can see Grimhilde turn to whisper curtly in her sister’s ear as they get closer. She can faintly make out her mom quietly saying “a lady doesn’t act like that.” But Snow just keeps her smile painted on and mostly ignores the comment. She’s clearly excited to see Evie, and it warms Evie’s heart to see how happy her sister is.

“Oh, I’ve missed you SO much! I’m so glad you’re here!” Snow says as she wraps Evie in a tight hug. Evie wraps her arms around Snow’s waist and happily squeezes her back.

“I’ve missed you too! You know I wouldn’t miss this for the world! I’m so, so happy for you Snow.” Evie turns to the man at her side. “And you too Christian. Congrats on landing such a great girl like my sister.”

“Thank you, Evie.” he smiles warmly at her, then turns to look into Snow’s eyes. She meets his gaze and lets their fingers intertwine again. “I really am a lucky guy.”

Evie grins wide at them both and squeezes Jay’s arm, the motion drawing Snow’s attention to him. “And is this your new hot college football player boyfriend I’ve heard so much about? I’ve been just dying to meet him!” She says with, tilting her head toward him with a wink.

“Yes! Snow, this is Jay.”

She smiles as she reaches out to shake his hand and he takes it. “It’s such a pleasure, Jay. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you. Evie goes on and on about you so much, I feel like I already know you.” She leans forward to offer a light air kiss next to his cheek.

Jay pulls back from the kiss and smiles back. “The pleasure is all mine, Snow. Evie talks about you a lot also. It feels like we’re already friends.” Jay jokes as he flashes her a toothy grin. “And congratulations to you. I feel so honored to be here to celebrate your wedding with you. Both of you.” He says, turning to Christian.

“Thank you, Jay. Snow has filled me in about you, too.” Christian said, flashing a wider-than-normal smile, as if he’s trying to hint that he’s in on the secret. “Based on everything I’ve heard, we’re honored to have you here with us. You seem like a great match for her Evie.” Christian turns to Snow with a wink as he shakes Jay’s hand.

Obviously done with being neglected, Grimhilde takes a large step towards Jay, close enough to his and Christian’s handshake to cause them to retract their hands, and Christian to take a half-step backward.

Grimhilde ignores the stumbling she causes, keeping her eyes on Jay. She flashes him a disarming smile, but despite her gaze only being on him, she chooses to address Evie first.

“My darling Evie, how I’ve missed you,” she says, reaching her arms out towards her. As Evie takes her hand, she finally turns her head in her direction, pressing their faces cheek-to-cheek in a not-quite-kiss. She pulls back to examine her daughter carefully, giving her outfit a long look over. “Your dress is quite lovely dear. You look like a perfect lady.” 

Evie heart flutters from the unexpected praise. “Well thank you, mother. You know, I designed it mys-”

“Jay!” Grimhilde chirps in a very high-pitched tone. She’s already turned completely back to him, eyes away from Evie. And just like that, the moment is gone. 

“It’s so nice to finally see you again. I can’t tell you how happy I am that Evie was able to snatch you up. I warned her time and time again that she better catch your eye soon. I’m sure a handsome boy like you doesn’t stay single long,” Grimhilde notes with a wink.

Jay takes Grimhilde’s hand in his, holding onto it gingerly. “It’s very lovely to see you again, Ms. Grimhilde,” he says in his most charming voice, bringing her hand up to his lips to offer a gentle kiss. “And let me say, I’m very proud myself for having snatched up Evie. She’s one of the most breathtaking beauties at our school, and it’s clear where she gets her stunning looks from.” 

He offers a quick glance over to Evie, who is smiling sickeningly wide to hide a snicker from escaping her lips. Jay is laying it on thick.

But with the way her mom is smiling from ear to ear, it’s pretty obvious his charms are working. Grimhilde pats Jay’s hand over hers before he pulls it away. “You better hold onto this one, dear,” she says with a side eye glance to Evie. “There will be plenty just waiting in line to steal him away.” Grimhilde continues to stare into Jay’s eyes, to a point that makes it almost unnerving.

Snow quickly clears her throat to break the awkward silence. “Ahem! It looks like they’re ready for us to eat inside. Shall we?” She gestures towards the entrance to the castle with her free hand. Evie can see her give Christian a gentle tug to start pulling him along quicker, obviously to get them all moving.

As the doors swing open to the front entrance, Evie is taken aback. The decorations are just as ornate as outside, with thousands of twinkling lights hanging above, now joined with a number of large, clear vases filled with white and pink lilies suspended from the ceiling. More tall bar tables, now cloaked with white floral tablecloths, were gathered in the center of the room, flanked by a large bar with attendants on the left, and a decadent buffet featuring an array of appetizers and desserts on the right. 

Evie was speechless. Her sister never missed a single detail when it came to planning events. She shouldn’t have expected anything less from her sister when it came to her own wedding.

“Snow, this is absolutely AMAZING,” Evie breathed. “You have really outdone yourself. It’s so beautiful in here! And so much food…”

“Ohhhhh, man. This must be heaven.” Evie’s head whipped to Jay. His eyes were glued to the buffet, wide as saucers. For goodness sake, she could even see some drool on the corner of his mouth. Evie rolled her eyes, Jay was so predictable.

Snow practically glows from the praise. “Well, don’t let me hold you back! Go, eat! Enjoy the food. Christian and I need to finish greeting our guests. Will you join us for a bit longer, mom? I want to make sure everyone gets a chance to meet you.” She puts her hand on Grimhilde’s shoulder to turn her back towards the other guests.

Grimhilde smiles lightly and nods. “I hope you both enjoy the evening.” She offers a big smile to Jay, then lets her gaze drift back to Evie as she turns away to follow Snow.

“Well what are we waiting for?? I’m starving.” But before Jay can bolt towards the buffet, Evie has him by the back of his vest.

“I’m going to wait here, dear. Can you bring a plate back for your girlfriend?” She says, dramatically tilting her head and batting her eyes at him.

“Of course, dear.” Jay replies with a sly grin. From behind them he can see Grimhilde still glancing their way. “She’s watching,” he whispers to Evie, barely moving his lips. She blinks her eyes in acknowledgement, and then flutters them closes as Jay leans over to deliver the tiniest peck to her lips. Satisfied with their short display, Evie releases her grip on his vest, and he turns swiftly to make a beeline for the buffet line, quick to grab 2 plates to start throwing rolls on them.

Evie just shakes her head and smiles. Wanting to say her hellos, she looks around for any other familiar faces. 

She spots Chad standing alone at a table, nursing a beer and munching lazily on some shrimp cocktail. She tenses for a second…the thought of saying hello to him makes her wince. Chad’s normal banter with her is usually flirty and can often get borderline creepy. She’s definitely not in the mood to be undressed with his eyes while trying to force petty small talk.

Luckily, she spies her cousin Doug walking through the door out of the corner of her eye. Evie’s smile spreads wider than ever, and she can’t contain the excited squeal that escapes her lips.

“Doug!” She shrieks, practically skipping over to meet him at the entrance. He smiles wide when he sees her and holds his arms out as she happily jumps into a tight hug. Her heart warms in his embrace; she has really missed him. 

“It’s SO good to see you Eves!” He’s smiling from ear to ear, but his eyes look around her and notice something’s missing. “Did you come alone?”

She pauses, trying to choose her words. She didn’t mention to Doug her plan to bring Jay, mostly because she was afraid to. Doug is constantly pushing her to tell her mom how she feels, even though he knows what the consequences might be. He doesn’t think it’s fair that Evie has to hide part of who she is because of her mom. He won’t like this.

“No…Jay is here with me.” She smiles stiffly and leaves it at that.

“Oh, you brought a friend as your date too? That’s great! I brought my roommate Carlos with me, he should be in in a minute.” He smiles as he sees Jay approach them with plates of food.

“Doug! Good to see you again, man.” Jay smiles and nods his head as he hands Evie her plate. 

Doug is about to reach out to shake his hand, when Jay suddenly pecks a kiss to Evie’s cheek. He hesitates and looks at Evie, who’s still smiling and stiff.

Jay grabs his partially outstretched hand to shake it. Doug, still stunned, jolts himself out of his thoughts to shake back. “It’s good to see you too, man. I was just telling Evie here how nice it is we both brought friends as our dates.” He pauses as Evie and Jay share a look. “It’s nice to be able to relax, and not worry about caring for a date…right?”

Jay looks away for a moment and scratches his neck. Evie bites her lip and looks down at the floor.

“Evie?”

“Ok.” She sighs. “Please don’t freak out. Jay and I are still just friends, but I asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend this week.” She puts a hand up to stop him as she sees Doug straighten up, ready to protest. “I just want to keep my mom off my back, ok? Coming out at my sister’s wedding is not exactly great timing. This is Snow’s week, and I want it to stay that way, ok?”

Doug holds his tongue as he looks at Evie, her eyes pleading for understanding, the hand she put up now pressed against his chest. He sighs and drops his shoulders.

“You’re right. It’s not a good time.”

Evie slowly cracks a smile, dropping her hand. “So, you’re ok with this?”

Doug smiles at her. “Yeah. JUST for this week though. And you know I’ll be right back to bugging you to tell her the truth right after this is over. You got it?” 

He points a finger right at her nose as she laughs and swipes it away.

“Fine, I know. But thank you.” 

Jay drapes his arm over Evie and pulls her close to his side, tipping her plate and almost knocking over her food. But Jay just smirks, glancing up at Doug.

“It’s gonna be great, bro. We’ll still be hanging out like friends, all casual. Just try to ignore us when Eves and I start to make out here and there, ok?” He takes his other hand and gives a playful pinch to her cheek.

Evie gives him a frustrated look and tries to shift under his arm to catch her plate and straighten it better so she doesn’t drop it. “Jayyyy. You’re supposed to be my gentleman boyfriend, remember? Stop sounding so skeevy. Come on, let's grab a table so we can set these plates down. I don't want you dropping my food with your awkward flirting moves."

Doug just chuckles as he follows them both to an empty table. Jay and Evie set down their plates, and they all start to look around the room at the other guests. Doug shifts his glance over to Evie. “So who have you seen yet? I need to swing by Snow and Christian to say hi. I saw your mom was with them too. Anyone else here yet that I know?”

She gestures behind them with the tiniest bob of her head. “Just Chad back there if you feel the need. I’m going to wait on that until I absolutely have to. I’ve got my hands full with my own creeper guy, don’t need to spend my time with another just yet.” She grabs at Jay’s side and he retracts from her with a laugh.

Doug scrunches his face in mild disgust at the thought of going alone to greet Chad. “Yuck, I’ll pass, thanks. I’m sure we’ll have to talk at some point, no need to rush that.” Doug snickers and shrugs his shoulders. “Besides, I saw Audrey pull up with her parents, I’m sure they’ll be walking in shortly. Then Chad’s attention will be full with Audrey for the week anyway.”

Evie looks to the entrance when she spots a flash of bright pink, Aurora’s signature color, and sees her and Phillip stroll in, drawing glances and whispers as usual. They’re hard to ignore with their perfectly golden hair, dazzling blue eyes and stunning smiles. Audrey joins their side, looking just as perfect in a full and flowy light pink dress, her chestnut locks styled in wide curls.

While they have everyone’s attention, Evie’s eyes are catch a head of dark purple hair. She continues to stare as it moves up from behind Audrey. When they finally come into view beside her, Evie is frozen, mesmerized by the person in front of her. She can feel her mouth go dry.

It’s a girl, about her age, and she’s STUNNING.

In the most conventional way, her slim, perfect figure, girly hips, intensely beautiful green eyes, and pouty dark pink lips are enough to excite Evie and draw her in. But as enticing as she is physically, there’s something else about her that keeps Evie from looking away.

She doesn’t seem to be much like the proper girl next her. She stands stiffly, uncomfortably, pulling at the tight pale purple dress that she's wearing. Evie can tell this isn’t her normal style, even just by looking at the white high-top sneakers she chose to pair with the dress. She keeps toeing them together as she raises an eye to Audrey, who sneers and kicks at her toes when she notices the fidget. She can see an almost smirk trail across the girl’s lips at the thought that she irritated Audrey.

Damn, she might be in love with this girl already.

“Eves? Are you hungry? I think you’re drooling, Princess,” Jay giggles.

She simply points her finger, trying to gesture toward the girl with Audrey. Fuck, she needs to use words to find out who she is. Why won’t words come to her?

Doug, she pleads in her head. Please oh please understand my stupid wordless gaping and tell me who she is.

“The girl? Who is she?” This, right here, is why she’s so grateful for her cousin. She nods, still at a loss for words.

“All I know is she’s a student at my college. I think she’s Audrey’s cousin.” He pauses for a moment to get a better look at her. “The only times I’ve seen her on campus, she’s either been with her or outside the Creative Arts building. I’ve seen her a few times on a bench by the front entrance. She just sits out there and doodles in this huge sketchbook.”

“Eves, stop staring. I’m serious now, you’re being a little creepy.”

She snaps her head up to Jay, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry. She just seems really…interesting.”

She glares at the boys when they break out into snickers. “Right, I can see how, interesting, she is from here too.” Jay’s face is red as he looks over at Doug, both trying to hold back from laughing more.

“Oh, Doug, Evie!” Audrey sing-songs. They all stop and turn to look at the girl. She’s waving at them and suddenly dragging the girl over quickly by her arm.

“Is it possible for her to sound even squeakier than normal?” Evie whispers to Doug while she plasters a fake smile to her face.

“I guess so.” He mutters. “Why is she trying to sound so sickeningly sw…ohhhhh.”

She’s smiling blatantly at Jay, barely looking at Doug and Evie as she approaches.

“Audrey, how nice to see you.” Doug deadpans.

Audrey leans forward and wraps Evie in a quick hug, then pulls back to look at her while peeking at Jay out of the corner of her eye.

“Evie, won't you be a dear and introduce me to your...friend?" Evie raises an eyebrow at her and hesitates, glancing at Jay. Audrey huffs, clearly annoyed. Finally, she turns to Jay herself and sticks out her hand.

"Audrey Rose, such a pleasure to meet you.” 

Evie clenches her teeth and steps up next to Jay. “Audrey, this is my boyfriend, Jay,” Evie says, looping her arm through Jay's as she delivers her introduction.

Fuck, if she wasn’t so desperate to meet Audrey’s cousin, she’d LOVE to just slap that flirting smile right off her face.

“Nice to meet you.” Jay smiles warmly, taking her hand. With the back of her hand facing up, it was clear Audrey was looking at Jay to kiss it. Instead, he turns it and offers a casual shake.

Audrey purses her lips, not quite hiding her frustration. She tries to recover, shaking back her curls and turning her lips back up into a smile. 

“Well Jay, I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other this week. I can’t wait to see what we uncover the more we get to know each other.” She gives Evie a glare, then winks at Jay. 

Evie just tightens her grip on Jay’s arm and holds her smile. Jay feels her tense and drops Audrey’s hand in favor of placing it over Evie’s.

“Of course. Evie and I can’t wait to spend time with everyone. Together. It should be a great week.” He smiles, squeezing Evie’s arm.

Audrey looks at his hand on Evie’s and lets her smile drop. Before she can respond, she’s startled by a snort next to her, and turns to glare at the beautiful girl she’s still gripping with her other hand.

“Sorry.” The girls says, but snorts again, quieter this time. She turns away with a smirk and glances at Evie. 

Their eyes meet for a moment, and her smile takes Evie's breath away. She can feel her heart tighten in her chest. She's never felt such, longing for someone so quickly. 

"Audrey, won't you be a dear and introduce us to your...friend?" She tries to say without sounding like she’s pleading.

Not one to ignore formalities, Audrey straightens her posture and returns a bright smile to her lips. "Of course! Allow me to introduce my cousin, Mal. My parents like to call her my honorary sister. We basically raised her at the Rose house." She sweeps a hand towards Mal in a gesture like a grand introduction.

Mal, in return, quirks a half smile and gives a tiny wave to the group. "Hi."

Audrey snorts loudly. "Mal, that's not how a Rose offers her greetings." She folds her arms and glares, as if waiting for Mal to correct her mistake.

Instead, Mal tips her head at Audrey and snorts right back. "Good thing I'm not a Rose, then, huh? Honorary sister status doesn't mean I have to act like you, does it?"

Audrey starts sputtering, her face growing red with anger. She yanks Mal by the wrist and tries her best to smile at Jay, Evie and Doug. 

"Well I'm sure we'll see you all very soon, but we haven't had a chance to say hello to the Charmings, and I know my parents are waiting for us. Good evening." She pulls Mal with her, making her stumble over her feet as she tries to wave goodbye first. She manages an eyeroll Evie's way as she's dragged along. 

Evie just sighs longingly as she watches them go. That was far too short of an introduction for her liking.

"Smoooooth, Eves."

She whips her eyes to Jay, surprised. "I'm sorry?"

Doug's laugh makes her turn back to him. "Evie, you obviously have a thing for Mal. You are SO into her."

"I wasn't that obvious...was I?" Evie bites her lip. She knows the answer to that, she just hopes she's wrong.

"Oh no, only to people with eyes," Jay quips, laughing. He puts an arm over his shoulder. "Princess, you are SO fucked."

Evie groans. "I know! She's making me really... feel things. I just met her and all I can think about right now is how badly I want to get to know her more," she sighs. "I NEED to keep it under control though, especially with my mom around. Please, you both need to help me. Stop me if I start acting all lovesick when my mom's around. Pinch me, smack me if you need to. She CAN'T catch on, otherwise this week will turn into hell for me!" She glances back to where Grimhilde is standing with Snow and is relieved to see she's making no acknowledgement towards her. No evil glares her way means she likely missed the whole exchange.

"So where would I be smacking exactly?" Jay says, waggling his eyebrows. He just laughs when Evie narrows his eyes at him. "Don't worry, we've got you, Eves," Jays says, wrapping his arm back around her. Doug looks at both of them and nods in agreement. "Can we eat now though? I'm starting to waste away. Can't you hear my stomach?" He grabs it and tries to make his best pouty face.

Evie rolls her eyes and leans into his side, giving him a little hug. "You poor baby. Of course, let's eat."

_____

 Jay dives into his plate like he hasn't eaten all day. And to be honest, that’s almost true. Chips and candy are not exactly a meal, and that can only hold you over so long when you've been in a car for half the day.

He needs to remember his manners though.  Evie grabs his arm to hold back his next forkful of food. "Dear, we're in public. Maybe finish chewing the first bite of your food before you shove in another?" She smiles, trying to be sweet and polite. He remembers what a stickler Evie's mom is for proper manners, so he lowers his fork slowly and grabs his napkin to lightly wipe his mouth off while he finishes chewing.

"Doug? Aren't you going to eat?" Jay asks curiously when he notices that Doug is still standing beside them without food, watching them eat.

"Yeah, I'm just waiting for my roommate. He was parking the car, but I can't believe it's taking him this long," he says as he continues to scan the door, looking for him.

"Finally.” Doug's eyes light up as he spots someone walking in. “Carlos!" He shouts, waving his hand and gesturing towards their table.

Jay follows Doug's eyes to see who he’s yelling to. "Holy hell." Jay whispers as quietly as he can.

Can a boy be pretty? Because Jay’s pretty sure he’s looking at the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

He’s never seen anything like him. The shock of soft white curls on his head that faded into black roots, the star-like freckles that dotted his face, his wide, dark eyes, and his full lips were all so…distractingly attractive.

His clothes were cooler than anything Jay would ever think of wearing, and damn, could he ever pull them off. A fitted white t-shirt peeks out from under a red blazer covered in metal studs, black skinny jeans are basically painted on thin legs, and black lace-up boots finish the look.

"Ooooh, I like his style." Evie muses.

"I like his, everything," Jay mumbles, a little louder than he wanted to. Evie looks at him with a raised eyebrow, elbowing him in the ribs. Jay grabs his side with a quiet "Oomph!"

"Close your mouth. I don't need my mom to see you openly panting over a guy when you’re supposed to be with me."

"I'm not," he lies. "He's just, cute."

Evie snickers loudly. "Yeah right."

Jay puffs, and Doug gives them an odd look before he turns back to Carlos and smiles. "Finally! What the hell took you so long?"

Carlos shrugs. "I'm sorry. You won't believe where they had me park the car. Let's just say it's good we'll be here for the week, because it might take more than a day to get back to it," he snickers.

Dammit, even his laugh is adorable.

"Evie, Jay. This is my roommate, Carlos." Carlos smiles warmly as Evie reaches out her hand.

"So nice to meet you Carlos! Any friend of my cousin's is a friend of mine," she says with a wide smile.

"Thank you, it's nice to meet you." Carlos says, almost quietly.

He turns slightly to Jay as he reaches his hand out too. While Carlos is facing him, Jay notices the slight hunch in his shoulders, making him think Carlos might be a little uncomfortable. Jay wonders if Carlos isn't really used to much socializing.

"It's a pleasure, Carlos." Jay says with a huge grin on his face. As their hands touched, he could feel a tingle in his fingertips. He definitely wanted more contact with this guy, he was sure about that. He could feel Evie's eyes on him, and he knew he had to keep his composure. For now, at least.

But a little flirting couldn't hurt, right?

Jay manages to pull his gaze from Carlos over to Doug as their handshake ends. "Are all the boys at your school this cute, man? I'm suddenly tempted to transfer," he says, throwing a wink back at Carlos over his shoulder.

Carlos looks stunned for a moment, as if he doesn't catch what Jay's suggesting. The realization must settle in quickly though, as Carlos suddenly looks down, and Jay notices a delicate pink flush travelling from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears, brightening his pale skin and making his freckles stand out even more.

And fucking fuck if that's not the most appealing thing Jay has ever seen. He could swear this guy is getting cuter by the second.

Evie steps between them, and Jay wonders if she noticed how flustered he was getting. He knows if he was being obvious she’d probably feel the need to step in, so she can stop anything that might not look proper from happening with her mom around.

"You'll have to excuse my boyfriend, he's bisexual and VERY friendly. Don't worry, hon, I'm more than fine with it." She says, smiling at Carlos, who looks at her with a slightly shocked expression. "Really, it's ok! It's ok to have a little fun, isn't it? I know, he can be a little too much to handle, can't he?" She turns to Jay and grabs his face with one hand playfully, squishing his cheeks. Jay pulls away with a laugh. "He can be too much of a flirt for his own good sometimes."

Carlos' smile relaxes at that, and he laughs quietly. But Jay notices that Doug doesn't look amused. Actually, he's definitely glaring at Jay, and Jay is a little surprised at how callous it seems.

Finally, Doug turns back to Carlos, putting a hand on his back to gently push him towards the food.

"If you don't mind, we should really get something to eat. Come on 'Los."

Jay watches them leave, still a little stunned at Doug's reaction. "Was it something I said?"

Evie just shakes her head. "And you thought I was fucked," she giggles.

  _____

  Once everyone finishes eating, Snow and Christian get up to address their crowd of wedding guests.

Christian takes a small step forward. "Snow and I would like to thank you all very much for coming. We're so grateful that you're willing to take this time out of your week to celebrate our marriage with us." He reaches back to take Snow's hand and gives her a loving smile. "Since we're sure you're all exhausted from your travels, we're going to have the staff direct you to your rooms to retire for the night. You'll see once you get there that we'll have a list of the activities that we have planned, and the times and places to be if you'd like to join us for each. We'll have a breakfast spread out early tomorrow before we head out for our first event, so please feel free to get up on your own schedule to grab something to eat."

Snow turns to everyone and smiles brightly. "We are so excited to share this week with every one of you and start the festivities! Sleep well! We'll see you all in the morning."

Evie and Jay wave to Doug and Carlos as they're directed down a different hall to their room. As she expects, she and Jay are sharing a room. She was sure Snow would plan that to keep up appearances as a couple. As soon as they enter the room, Jay walks over to the huge bed to flop onto it. The long day of travel polite conversation have definitely taken their toll on him. He's more than ready to crash for the night.

Evie, on the other hand, is clearly in awe of their quarters for the week. She walks around the room slowly, taking in the ornate details of the canopy bed, painted ceilings, and heavily decorated bathroom with golden sinks and a large clawfoot tub. She can hardly believe how beautiful everything is.

Looking over at Jay, she sees him squished into the soft bed, eyes already closing. The sight helps the feeling of exhaustion she was ignoring to creep back up, and she plops down onto the mattress next to him.

"Holy shit," she says, wrinkling the sheets between her fingers as she wiggles her body on the pillowy comforter. "I think this is the most comfortable bed I've ever laid on in my life."

"Tell me about it," Jay says, sighing deeply. He flips over to his side, facing Evie. 

"So, do you want to be the little spoon or big spoon?" He says with a smirk. Evie turns on her side to face him with an arm under her head to prop her up, and rolls her eyes as dramatically as she can, making Jay laugh out loud.

"I want YOU," she says loudly, "to be on the other side of these pillows.” She starts to grab every pillow off the bed to pile between them. "I don't want to wake up to anything poking me if you start dreaming of Carlos."

Jay chuckles. "Well that's fine with me. Believe it or not, I don't want to wake up to YOU trying to feel me up if you start dreaming of Mal."

Evie exhales loudly in frustration, dropping the pillow she was holding to sit herself straight up on the bed, scooting her body back against the headboard. "This week is going to be SO much harder than I thought." Jay looks up at her, clearly confused. "I mean, faking this for my mom was going to be a little bit of a challenge," she argues, gesturing between the two of them, "But now I have to fake it AND try to pretend I'm not ridiculously attracted to the most beautiful girl I think I've ever seen in my life."

Jay chuckles as he traces his fingers across the sheets, and then looks up at her. "Yeah, that definitely throws a wrench into things."

Remembering her other dilemma, she gives Jay a sideways glance, raising one eyebrow. "AND I'll have to deal with you now."

"Me?" His eyes widen as he points a finger at his chest. "What did I do?"

"You're kidding, right?" She gives him a wry smile as he shakes his head. "Jay, I've already had to stop you from blatantly flirting with Carlos when my mom was in the same room, and you only JUST met him!" 

Jay just shrugs. "But that's just how I am, isn't it? I'm a flirt. Your mom knows that. It doesn't mean anything."

Evie sighs. "Ok. One, my mom doesn't know you flirt with guys , so you'll have to keep that in check. You know how old-fashioned she is. If she can't handle gay from me, she's not going to be ok with you being gay either. Especially since you're supposed to be madly in love with me." She emphasizes by pointing her own finger right at her face. Jay scoffs, but finally offers a slight nod of agreement.

"And two, there's NO way this flirting with Carlos isn't going to mean anything to you." Jay's eyes widen as he looks at her. He starts to open his mouth in protest, but Evie interjects. "No. Just listen. I have literally never seen a guy that was more your type. He's painfully adorable, shy, and way too easy for you to fluster. You can't tell me you don't want to say and do things to him just so you can see that blush over and over again." Jay pauses with his mouth hung open, but instead of protesting he just turns his head away and stays silent.

Evie giggles lightly at her victory, shaking her head at Jay. "Listen, I'm not saying to stay away from Carlos. Hell, I know there's no way I could do the same if you asked me to with Mal. We just have to be careful. When my mom’s around, we're head over heels for each other, ok? Mal and Carlos are going to have to become a stealth operation." 

"You got it Princess, I can do that." Jay laughs. "Besides, it's not like I haven't snuck around before," he says, punctuating with a waggle of his eyebrows.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it, Romeo." She grins at him and pushes herself off the bed. "Listen, now that we have our game plan, I think we should get to bed." She pads her way over to the bathroom, stopping to grab her bag. She looks back at Jay and sees him lay back onto the bed, already dozing off with his face buried in her makeshift pillow wall.

"We've got a very interesting week ahead of us."

Credit to @bunny-lou​ for the story idea! Her original story idea is posted here if you’d like to read it! 

[yourdeepestfathoms]

I‘ll Be Met by Moonlight

yall are really out here sleeping on Mom Friend Bessie huh

TW: Vomiting (there’s quite a bit, so don’t read if you can’t handle it)

———————

Bessie awoke to the sound of crying. Loud crying.

Instantly, she hurtled herself out of bed, put on her slippers, and loped out into the hallway, natural maternal worry practically giving her wings.

Maggie was peeking out of her bedroom, staring at the staircase leading downstairs. Maria probably would have been down there already if she weren’t staying with the queens.

That meant it was Joan. Joan was crying.

   “She’s been like this for half an hour,” Maggie whispered when she noticed Bessie. “I-I should have done something... I’m sorry.”

   “Don’t be sorry. I understand.” Bessie assured her. Maggie was never one to comfort people, nor did she really know how without making things worse, so Bessie thought her just standing there was perfectly reasonable. “Go back to sleep, love. I’m going to go check on her.”

Maggie nodded and then slipped back into her room while Bessie made her way down the stairs and to the bedroom.

Joan was sitting on the edge of her bed, rocking back and forth slowly. From the faint glow of the nightlight, Bessie could see her shoulders violently shaking with the intensity of her sobs.

  “Joan?” Bessie called out, not wanting to startle the keyboardist. Still, Joan’s head jerked up.

  “J-Jane?” She called out weakly.

Oh.

  “No, love, it’s Bessie.” Bessie corrected while walking over slowly. She sat down beside Joan and set a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

Joan shook her head, sucking in another quivering breath. That quickly turned into a coughing fit and Bessie thumped her lightly on the back to help her along.

  “Easy, love, easy,” Bessie murmured, “You’re okay. I got you.”

  “B-Bessie?” Joan whispers.

  “That’s right. That’s me, hun. It’s Bessie.”

It was too dark to tell if it was really her. Too dark, too dark, too dark-

Joan never liked the dark, even before she got snared in the forest. It was a dark a lot in the 16th century. There weren’t any nightlights, just candles and maybe lanterns, but it wasn’t advised to keep either of those lit overnight (Joan would know. she still remembers the acrid odor and her mother and father yelling). So, usually, she cowered under her blankets with her eyes screwed shut. Unless her brother let her sleep with her, she usually stayed up until the first hint of the sun came out, then she finally deemed it safe to rest.

Insomnia for her was long-running, too.

The keyboardist whimpered sharply and then collapsed into Bessie’s arms.

The scent of the hair she buried her nose into wasn’t Jane’s. Jane smelled like lavender and sugar cookies, not a roasting fire. Not that the other smell was bad. It confirmed that it was, in fact, not her queen she was clinging to.

  “You’re alright,” Bessie murmured in her ear, her smooth, velvety accent tickling the baby hairs on the back of Joan’s neck. “You’re alright now, honey. I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Bessie is caring, like Jane, but she has an aura her that makes Joan feel protected. Like being guarded by a defensive mother bear.

  “Do you think you can breathe with me? In and out. Just like me.”

One is rubbing up and down Joan’s spine in soothing strokes, while the other comes around to hold her head against the bassist’s chest. She feels the rise and fall of Bessie’s lungs contracting, hears the steady beating of her heart, and it calms her slightly. She takes in a breath of her own.

  “There you go.” Bessie’s smile is sweet, nurturing, supportive. “That’s so good, sweetie. Can you do it again?”

Joan obeys and, slowly but surely, her breathing isn’t as ragged or rapid. She pulled away slowly and Bessie thumbs away a stray tear falling down her cheek.

  “I...” Joan starts, but her voice is a brittle rasp, and it hurts to speak. Bessie shushes her.

  “Joan, honey, if you’re about to apologize, then I gotta ask you to stop right there,” Bessie said, “Everyone in this house has nightmares. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Joan nodded a little and she feels Bessie’s thumb stroke back and forth against her cheekbone.

  “Would you like to talk about it?” The bassist asked.

Joan shrugged shyly.

  “It’s okay if you don’t want to.” Bessie added.

  “Jane was dying,” Joan whispers, “A-and she kept screaming and crying in agony. She was in so much pain and I just stood there. I didn’t help her at all.” She sniffled and fresh tears fall down onto the hand caressing her cheek, “Then th-this thing ripped out of her stomach and-and-and-”

Nausea bubbles inside of Joan, curling up her throat and into her mouth. She couldn’t swallow it down.

Joan throws up all over herself.

Bessie is moving immediately. Not to get away, but to switch sides so she’s directly behind the heaving girl. It was too late to grab the trashcan in the room, so, instead, she pulls her hair out of the way. Some of the blonde locks were wet with bile, but Bessie didn’t let it phase her if she even noticed.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay,” Bessie murmured when she heard the high-pitched noises of pain Joan was making in between coughs.

Joan was absolutely mortified. She was paralyzed when her stomach finally stopped ejecting itself, frozen in humiliation and terror. More tears spilled free and she sobbed.

  “I’m- I’m sorry- Oh god, Bessie, I’m so sorry-” She struggled to speak and nearly threw up again.

  “Shh, shh,” Bessie soothed, rubbing circles against the girl’s back, which was clammy with sweat, “You’re alright, darling. This isn’t your fault.”

  “But-”

  “Hush,” Bessie said, “You were scared, Joan. I don’t blame you for being sick if that’s what you had seen.”

Joan slowly turns her head to look at Bessie. Even when there were trails of vomit dribbling down either sides of her mouth, the bassist still smiles so gently at her. She would have crumpled into her arms if she weren’t covered in a substance she definitely didn’t want to get on the woman.

  “Let’s get you cleaned up, alright? Can you stand?”

Bessie gets off the bed first, taking one of Joan’s hands in her own. She lets the girl try to get up by herself, but it’s obvious she’s struggling, so Bessie steps in and helps her to her feet. She feels Joan cringe when the pool of throw up that had been congealing in her lap spilled down her legs and to her floor.

  “Shh,” Bessie hushes when she heard a sharp whimper, “It’s not your fault, darling. Don’t worry about that right now. Let’s go get you in the shower.”

Although she didn’t like leaving the shaken up, ill girl by herself, Bessie understood why Joan didn’t want her in the bathroom while she was bathing. While she waited for the keyboardist, she busied herself by cleaning up the mess left behind.

Being a lady in waiting to half of the queens, especially one that was pregnant several times and had her fair share of morning sickness, Bessie was quite used to vomit. It didn’t bother her anymore. The smell, the sound, the sight- none of it phased her. She could eat a whole feast while someone was emptying their stomachs in front of her and be just fine.

And yet she was afraid of heights of all things.

Oh well. At least she wasn’t scared of moths like Maria was.

It’s been almost forty-five minutes since the shower turned off. Bessie wanted to give Joan space, but she was starting to worry.

  “Joan?” Bessie called out.

No answer.

  “Joan, sweetie, are you okay in there?”

Nothing.

  “Joan, I’m coming in.”

Inside, Joan was on her hands and knees, panting heavily, clutching fistfuls of the shaggy shower carpet. The shirt she was supposed to change into was discarded on the floor, but she does have the shorts on. Without a top, her milky-yellow, sweat-soaked flesh is revealed to Bessie.

And the angry red scar that encircled her torso.

The keyboardist didn’t look to be comfortable in the slightest, as her muscles were contracting violently and her bra strap appeared to be digging into taut her skin. Not that she had the energy to wrestle with the clasp right now, though. One hand lifts to hold her aching middle.

  “Oh, Joan...”

Bessie saw the girl’s entire body tense up. Joan is trying not to move but she’s trembling too badly. Bessie quickly retrieves a clean blanket before stepping fully into the bathroom. She wraps the soft blanket around Joan, who seemed grateful, but couldn’t show it.

  “This just isn’t your night, huh, sweetheart?” Bessie asked while situating herself beside the keyboardist. She takes to threading her fingers through Joan’s hair, since she knew she liked that.

Joan makes a tiny noise. She lifts her head and shudders. A painful cramp seized her stomach with talons of fire and her response to it was by slamming her forehead into the toilet seat. Bessie’s heart clenched a little when she realized she was probably trying to knock herself out.

...Did she really hurt that much? Was the nightmare that bad?

  “Darling, don’t do that,” Bessie chided softly, slipping her hand down to lift Joan’s head up. The answer she got was an incoherent mumble that morphed into a tight whimper.

  “B-Bess-”

  “It’s alright. Just get it out of your system. I’m going to go get-”

Joan grabbed Bessie’s by the wrist, holding on with a death grip. She didn’t look up at her, too humiliated to make eye contact, but still refused to be alone like this. Thank God the bassist understood so she didn’t have to pathetically mewl it out loud.

  “Okay. I’m staying. I won’t go anywhere.”

Joan wanted to thank her, she really did, but bile rose up in her throat and she gathered enough energy to push herself up to avoid vomiting all over herself again.

Bessie holds her hair out of the way, rubbing her hand gently across the top of her back. She sneaks a few glances at the scar when she does so, tugging down the blanket to get a better look.

It didn’t look like the result of a weapon, rather a rope. A permanent trench was carved along her flesh, a slight dip in the pale expanse that was her back. Definitely rope burn of some kind, but how did it happen? Maybe it was a childhood accident? Somehow Joan got caught in a rope? It seemed unlikely, but not improbable.

Joan shudders when Bessie rubs her thumb against her scar. Her back muscles lock up and then relax. The bassist’s touch was...soothing. The strings of fire lit around her chest diminish slightly.

If only that could also effect her roiling stomach.

The both of them stay in the bathroom for an hour, and Joan ends up throwing up two more times before her body finally relents. She sways and then collapses into Bessie’s chest, trembling in exhaustion and pain.

  “There we go, hun,” Bessie said, stroking back her sweat hair from her forehead, “All done?”

Joan nodded. Her stomach was still cramped up, and the sight from her nightmare still replays behind her eyes, but there was no more nausea. Her body just didn’t have the energy to make her sick anymore.

  “You poor thing,” Bessie sighed, “You don’t deserve this.”

Joan could only reply in a weak noise. Her cheeks were puffy and tender and her throat burned from all her excessive vomiting, so she couldn’t muster any words.

  “Let’s get you back to bed, alright? Would you like to sleep with me tonight?”

Joan was nodding immediately.

Joan curled up into a tight ball the minute she was laid on Bessie’s bed. She’s completely exhausted and barely even awake at this point, but Bessie manages to get her to drink a glass of water before she completely passed out.

Bessie stayed up for around half an hour, just keeping watch over the keyboardist and making sure she was really asleep. Finally, she kissed the top of her girl’s forehead and lays down to rest.

It isn’t five minute later that she feels Joan reach out and cling to one of her arms. An amused, but loving smile came across Bessie’s lips and a nickname rolled off her tongue without even thinking.

  “Sleep well, dea della luna.”

[hollygopossumlovesj2]

Come Back Down, Part 18

(Picture found from Google search. I take no credit for this pic.)

Word Count: 4,218

Warnings: Cussing and illness; I’m gonna call this a solid~Teen and up audience. The next chapter will move more quickly than this one but there are clues in this one for the next one. So... yeah.

Summary: Jensen and Y/N travel to Texas to spend the holiday with the Ackles. The parent’s are blissfully unaware of the trouble following Y/N.

A/N: Hey guys, I’m not dead like you probably thought I was. I’m just another anxious opossum that likes to write when I can. I’m not sure any of you would still like to read this but I kind of have to finish it for myself. Anyhow, I hope there’s still someone out there that wants to read this crap.

Come Back Down Master List

Hollygopossum’s Master List

Come Back Down Part 18

 After I had driven down from Vancouver to pick up Y/N, it had been a fairly quiet trip. I had borrowed Jared’s transport plane to avoid possible large crowds of people rushing home for the holidays for the rest of the trip. It was honestly the best for both of us. What, with her habit of telling people exactly what she thought and avoiding being flooded for pictures and signatures, it was a good plan. Not that I minded that she didn’t hesitate to speak her mind or the fans attention most of the time, it’s just that I was in a hurry to get home.

 The trip was perfect, except for the bit of indigestion the coffee I’d consumed earlier had created. I’d just taken to cramming down chalky tums every five minutes. If I alternated that with some Ativan and the occasional Pepto, who could blame me around the holidays?

 I couldn’t believe that it was nearly Thanksgiving already. It had actually aligned with the time frame of our visit if I added a few days onto the end of our trip. It had been a no brainer to stay and it sent Mom over the moon.

 The rental car had been ready as promised when we landed at the airport, a little inconspicuous black Lexus because I didn’t like to attract attention. I just wanted to get to my parent’s house and have a traditional, laidback holiday with them. Plus, I was excited about spending it with Y/N for the first time since we… well, you know.

 Yes, everything had been going fine up until that point, until I crouched down to slide into the low seat of the rental car. (By low, I mean how do people not get road rash on their ass driving these pretentious fucking roller skates?!) There was a blinding, sharp pain that caught me completely off guard and made me drop harder into the seat than I’d intended.

 The impact pushed an involuntary grunt out of my lungs as I dropped heavily into the seat. Undoubtedly, I had earned her full focus and concern that I’d been trying to avoid. However, I didn’t get to see her face because I was doubled over so hard that my forehead was on the steering wheel. I felt the weight of her hand sliding smooth circles intended to comfort even though she could have no idea what was wrong.

 “Jensen? Can I do something for you? Do I need to-.” I must’ve looked like a wreck as I felt the flop sweat beading up at my temples and the top of my lips. In an effort to keep her from panicking, I wiped the inner part of the sleeve covering my forearm as inconspicuously as possible. Despite my covert efforts, she sounded like she was on her way to being well and truly panicked. And that was just unacceptable.

 “M’okay. Jus’ a stomach cramp. I think I pulled a muscle in the last stunt I did.” It was a lie, but I knew she was already stressed about leaving her home and her animals. I had asked a few of the local PD to keep an eye on the place, and Mike was solidly keeping things under control. However, if you had a stalker, there’s no way you wouldn’t be stressed out, too.

 Besides, selfishly, I couldn’t afford any setbacks and I wouldn’t let something as trivial as a stomach ache get in the way of my plans.

 Unfortunately, the truth was, I’ve been feeling a little nauseated on and off for the better part of the week. I just didn’t take it seriously because my anxiety kicked up bouts of nausea all the time. Now, this pain was new and I grit my teeth together as it resonated for a couple of minutes before backing off to a dull ache.

 There was such a big contrast between having the sharp pain cramping my stomach and the red, hot poker stabbing into my side that seemed to change with every passing moment.

 I sat up slowly, taking even breaths and making a conscious effort to unlock my jaw before I put the car into reverse to back out without even turning to look at her. “Sorry. I’m fine. Must’ve just twisted funny.”

 I could feel her eyes watching me carefully, taking in all of the situation before she responded with an entirely unconvinced, “Okay.”

 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

 “Well, honey, would you look at this? Our son is home for the first time this year!” Despite the sarcastic jab, Mom beamed at us when we walked through the door before I found myself in her rib crushing embrace. By now the pain had mostly eased off to only when I moved a certain way.

 The house smelled of cinnamon candles just like I knew it would, a sharp feeling of nostalgia making my eyes wet. My mom loved Christmas and kept some decorations up year round. Candles that were red and green in color could be found scattered artfully around the house, and mostly on the mantle in the living room. It wasn’t anything tacky like multicolored string lights and candy canes, but the nativity stayed on display right next to the fire place.

 I’d often wondered if it was entirely appropriate to put Mary and Baby Jesus next to an open fire. Or it could be that I’d spent way too much time on the show. Maybe I was the only one in the family that continually associated fire with hell and demons.

 “And you, don’t you hang back behind him like some blushing maid. We all know better, sweetie.” Y/N’s mock offense was funny before she too was wrapped in mom’s embrace.

 Even though I know Y/N had never asked her to, Mom had always taken it upon herself to watch out for her after her parents had died. Y/N’s mom had been her best friend so the sentiment wasn’t unfounded. She always got an invitation for every family gathering, even third cousin christenings. Most Christmas mornings, I would find her down on the couch in her pajamas practically wrapped around a fresh cup of coffee. She was always here, except for the years with that assbag boyfriend that had kept her away from us.

 “And he made you carry your own bags? Jensen Ross Ackles, I know I taught you better!” She grabbed the bags that Y/N had insisted on hobbling inside herself and gave me a stern look with her hands on her hips. I immediately felt like I was 5 years old again. “I swear.”

 “But, momma, she…” I felt obligated to voice the truth, but she wasn’t hearing any of it and I got distracted by Y/N’s gleeful laugh at my misfortunes.

 “Best you just do as your told son.” My father patted my shoulder before brushing past to hug Y/N and I wondered who the favorite child really was. I couldn’t help being a little pouty, even though I’d never ever voice it. I hadn’t seen them in months and yet here they were showering her with attention.

 “Oh, baby, you pull that bottom lip back in.” Mom grabbed my lip and tugged like she’d done a million times when I was growing up. “No one likes a pouter. Why don’t you take your things and get settled in. Dinner’ll be ready in about an hour. Your daddy is making bbq ribs.”

 I trudged up the stairs with all four bags while Y/N hobbled up the steps one at a time. She was still having trouble with that leg and recently she’d stopped wearing her brace at all. I often wondered if something else was going on but hadn’t the balls to ask just yet.

 I dropped the bags on my bed and surveyed the room. My old double sized bed sat in the middle of what could only be described as a shrine. All of my sports trophies were scattered on shelves with certificates of achievement and a few mementos from my younger years. There were some framed pictures sprinkled in that I recognized too.

 “Hey,” she leaned into my side, taking in the room right along with me for the first time since my parents had moved. “Sorry I got you in trouble.”

 I looked down to see her sheepish expression, flush still present on her cheeks and felt all the tension leave in one breath. I wrapped my arm over her shoulders to pull her closer and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t worry about it. They just haven’t seen you in a while.”

 “Yeah, I guess.”

 “I don’t think I can sleep in here.”

 “What, that awkward 90s poster getting to you? Because, I gotta be honest, I probably won’t be able to either because I won’t be able to stop mentally making fun of you.”

 “Hey, it was my first poster! I was excited!”

 “Those frosted tips, wow. You looked like a Zack from Saved by the Bell wanna be.”

 “Hey,” I pointed a finger at her, “You can’t talk shit about Zack, he was the epitome of cool back then.”

 “Uh huh. Whatever you say, darlin.” I looked down and could see the teasing smile on her face and relaxed again.

 “You’re terrible.”

 She turned in my arms and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss my lips. “Yes and you love me.” As she rested back onto her heels she winced. I couldn’t resist pulling her closer to me by her hips.

 “You gonna tell me what’s going on with you?”

 “Nothing’s going on with me. I’m fine.” She smiled again and I knew it was a lie because her eyes were trained on my old Dallas Cowboys bedspread. “Hey, do you think your parents would mind if I showered the plane germs off?”

 “Yes, they have a strict non-cleanliness policy. You can only shower once a week.” I deadpanned and loved her answering eye brow lift. “Of course they won’t mind. Go ahead. Knowing mom, she’s already got fresh towels and those little guest soaps on the counter.”

 “Awesome.” She reluctantly let go of me and grabbed a bag before disappearing down the hall. I waited for the telltale click of the bathroom door before I sat down on my bed with a heavy sigh.

 She hadn’t even given me the first hard time after the disagreement in her barn. She hadn’t even wasted any time before she asked Mike to stay and look after things. For that, I was grateful, because it made the arrangements that I had to make easier when I didn’t feel like I was dragging her along for the ride.

 I was extremely happy to have her here, surrounded by people I trusted implicitly. She was always happy to see my parents. I knew nothing bad would happen to her while we were here.

 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^

 Before I knew it, we had finished dinner, of which I had eaten carefully because my stomach still hadn’t calmed down since the incident when I got into the rental. If I sat mostly still, the nausea and dull ache were tolerable.

 “It’s good to have Y/N back here.” My father commented quietly from his seat at the old oak heirloom dining room table. We were having a cup of coffee while Mom and Y/N washed dishes and put away left overs. The next time when my Mom cooked, it would be Dad’s responsibility, but tonight Dad had grilled out for everyone. I’d always admired my parents balanced relationship. It wasn’t always that way in Texas.

 “Yeah, it really is.” I had to admit that I was enjoying having her back here with me. I’d always enjoyed the way my family and Y/N had interacted in the past, and this visit was no different. Mom and Dad knew things were different between us, but had yet to comment or treat her differently.

 For instance, at the dinner table, my Mom had taken to filling up Y/N’s plate with food rather than letting her dish out her own because she knew that Y/N wouldn’t eat much if she didn’t. It was a throw back to when her parents had died and my parents had done everything they could think of to help.

 The cleanup was always a point of contention between my mother and Y/N. Mom would insist she have a seat and that she would handle it. It was usually said in an intimidating enough tone that even I would’ve backed down immediately. But not Y/N.

 There was a scandalized, “Donna!” heard from Y/N over the hum of the dishwasher and the sink running, followed by loud giggles.

 “Well, that sounds suspicious.” My father remarked, throwing an analyzing gaze in their direction.

 I held in a laugh as my stomach felt too tight, but smiled. “Yes it does.”

 “Maybe we should check on how things are going…” I knew he wasn’t concerned; it was more like he didn’t want to miss out on the fun. I stood up as normally as I could manage, but it seemed that my father’s parental scrutiny picked up that there was a problem immediately. “You okay, son?”

 “Yeah. I’m just cramped and sore from traveling in that little toy Jared calls a plane.” I put my acting skills to use and smiled like everything was fine. He too scrutinized me with the same care that Y/N had done in the car.

 He’d eventually nodded, “Okay, well let’s go and stop whatever fool thing they’ll want to get us involved in. Remember the time your Mom and Y/N wrangled us into wine tasting a few Thanksgivings ago?”

 “How could I forget? Mom and Y/N got borderline smashed and disappeared.”

 “Yeah, they were feeding the palate cleansing crackers to the ducks at the pond.” He was shaking his head fondly, “And it wasn’t borderline anything, they were smashed. They kept getting samples of the Rosé from different staff.”

 I gave him an exaggerated look of worry, “We better get in there. I’m not carrying either one of their butts back to the car this year.”

 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

 That night, with Y/N sleeping peacefully snuggled up on my shoulder, a stabbing pain jerked me from a deep sleep. This time, it didn’t let up and I felt lightening sharp pain spark in my stomach and saliva flooded my mouth as I tried to orientate myself.

 Oh, parents house.

 I was going to throw up.

 I tried to be as quiet and careful as possible as I slid out of the bed and made an unsteady beeline for the hall bathroom. It was down to the second when I slammed down on my knees and involuntarily lost my dad’s ribs in his incredible, family heirloom, special BBQ sauce. I was just thankful that I hadn’t bit it in the hall way and puked all over myself like a 5-year-old.

 I heaved until nothing was left, and then dry heaved some more. By the time I was done, I was light headed and covered in sweat with a fine shakiness set up in my bones. My stomach felt like it was flipped inside out and my throat was raw. I rested my aching head on the cold toilet lid after I flushed, trying to catch my breath and for the room to stop spinning. I waited for the pain in my gut to stop pounding like a damn beacon.

 God, the cold toilet seat felt good. I seriously considered just camping out. I mean, if the toilet was nice and cold, it stood to reason that the floor that was beckoning me would also be. It was so incredibly tempting because I had just barfed up my entire stomach contents and I felt exhausted. But, that would signal that something was wrong and there was no need to panic over a stomach bug or food poisoning.

 It was possible the grilled chicken sandwich I’d snuck from set had gone bad. (To be fair, we didn’t really have to sneak anything from set. The crew loved us to the point of getting away with murder.) It only took a few hours for food poisoning to kick in. I’d have to call Jared to check on him since he’d eaten the same kind of sandwich. What else could it be?

 I took a moment to brush my teeth and collect myself before I crept back into the room. I then swapped out my boxers and left my t shirt off. By then, the sweat was cooling on my skin that caused goosebumps to pop up. The slight shiver I’d developed didn’t make my stomach feel any better, but even then it was better than being overly hot like before.

 She was undisturbed and peaceful, and I was loathing to disrupt her. She had enough on her plate that didn’t involve me being sick. So, I laid there counting her eye lashes until I finally fell asleep.

 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

 The next morning, I woke up before Y/N and took a quick shower, hoping to look better than I felt. The nausea was still there, but I hadn’t thrown up since last night. No, what was really concerning was the pale faced guy with rosy cheeks that had stared back from the mirror. That, and the pain in my abdomen that had kicked it up a notch.

 “Hey.” She greeted me with a smile when I entered the bedroom to hand her a cup of coffee, defiled just the way she liked it.

 “Hey, sweetheart, did you sleep okay?” I held my most disarming smile long enough for her to take the coffee so that I could curl up next to her and rest my forehead against her neck.

 “Yeah, I did. Did you?”

 Nothing sounded like she was suspicious and there was no reason to make her worry. “I did.”

 It was quiet for a moment while she sipped at her coffee and hummed in approval. I tucked in closer, throwing my leg over hers and wrapping an arm carefully around her waist. It felt fucking fantastic snuggled up next to her. For the first time I questioned coming home. If we’d stayed in Wyoming it would’ve been easy to convince her to stay in bed for most of the day. Without a confirmed illness my parents would drag us out to be social.

 She had downed at least half of the warm, aromatic brew before she hummed a bit more emphatically. “Mmmm, your parents make the best coffee. Do you think I can weasel the brand out of them?”

 “Dad grows and roasts his own coffee beans, but I bet you could talk him out of a bag. Maybe one could make its way into your stocking. You’ll have to talk to Santa about that one.” The pain and tightness was fading a little and I found I could finally take a deep breath as she laughed.

 “So, what’s on the agenda today, love?” She slid her arm over my shoulder to rub my back in slow, calming movements. “You’re awfully warm… are you okay?”

 “Love, huh? I like it.” I let the warmth the pet name brought me settle in my chest before I attempted to move like a bomb would go off in my belly if I didn’t go a certain way. I shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, struggling and hoping she couldn’t tell. “I’m fine, just did a few errands for Mom. You know how she can be.”

 “Yeah, I guess.”

 She was definitely suspicious, but I wasn’t gonna give her a chance to examine her theories in any sort of detail. “I’m gonna head downstairs to see if they need anything else. I’ll see you when you get that cute ass out of bed.”

 I was up and out of there before she could say a word, but I nearly ruined the perfect getaway by losing my balance. Luckily the wall had been there to catch my clumsy ass and I just bruised my elbow. Who does that, I mean, really?

 When I found my mother, she was wiping down the counters. She was obsessed with keeping the kitchen spotless. I’d been able to distract her long enough to ask if there was anything I could do to help.

 So, that’s how I ended up pulling ten boxes of Christmas crap out of the attic and a couple more from the garage. It was ridiculous how much my mother loved Christmas. It is an all year type of celebration. She leaves as much out as Mackenzie would allow before becoming personally offended. I believe her favorite phrase when she was 16, was to the effect of us being a bunch of rednecks. To which Mom replied, “Maybe I am a redneck and proud of it! Now get your behind over here and help your brother string the popcorn and cranberries.” Oh, man had she been grumpy and unpleasant to work with.

  My childhood was always filled with fantastic, traditional Christmases, and they really hadn’t stopped when I became an adult. She always had a way of making everything about Christmas magical right down to the personalized stockings on the mantle, to notes in said stockings that told us her hopes for our lives and how proud she was of us.

 Once I was done hauling some of the boxes in, I had worked myself back into sweating profusely and the abdomen below my belly button was starting to feel like a hot poker was stabbing me over and over in rhythmic pulses.

 Then, it was my mother’s turn to fawn and question my health. ‘Are you feeling okay?’

 “M’fine.” I grumbled as I grabbed a lemon-lime Gatorade from the fridge before I attempted to stand up straight like the proud Texan I am. All it did was make her give me that look. The look that said I better spill or she’ll have my precious nuts in a vice.

 “I’ve known you best your whole life, son. Since you were in the womb of my belly,” I had to cringe here because, gross. “I know when something’s wrong Jensen Ross. You had better fess up or I’ll…”

 Apparently not feeling well made me a tad bit suicidal, “You’ll what, show her my old, embarrassing pictures? Nice try, but she’s seen them all!” I couldn’t help smiling in triumph.

 “That may be true, but I am still your mother and I have my ways.” Her hands were reaching out to touch my forehead and if she made contact the charade would be over instantly.

 I backed a step away, “Everything is fine, momma.”

 We were in the stare down of my life and she was pulling out the tearful eyes and deeply concerned face only reserved for manipulation.

 Surprisingly, she was the one to cave first, “what are you doing with Y/N? You were just filing for divorce a month ago. Don’t you think this might be moving fast?”

 This. This I could answer with all the honesty I had left. “Momma, we’ve been moving towards this since her parents died that Summer. I think I… Mom, she’s my favorite person. She always knows what to do when I fall apart. She’s been filling in the holes to my marriage for years.”

 “Are you telling me you-?!” I could tell she had taken that whole statement the wrong way, but it was better to keep her distracted from the obvious. I wanted for Y/N, Mom and Dad to have the best holiday. A visit to the ER for a stomach virus? That was just stupid and I didn’t want to be viewed as a pathogenic mess on the holidays.

 “No, I’m talking the best friend part that Danneel was supposed to be. The part that puts me first and that I put her first. The part that doesn’t run away when I get a bad cold or have a metaphorical bump in the road. She’s the one I should’ve seen before. And, before you go jumping on that, I thought I loved her, Mom. I, fuck… I didn’t plan on getting a divorce and you know the last person I would’ve wanted to disappoint would be you. We never cheated, Mom.” Ugh, the fever I didn’t realize I had was making my eyes water like a pushed button.

 “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to make you upset.” The thought of my mother actually believing that I might’ve cheated was seared in my brain and left me caught off guard. So, when she leaned in for a hug, I didn’t resist and the impact of a firm hug from my mother cued up the best acting I’d done. Ever.

 I held in the grunt of pain created by just the small bit of pressure applied to my abdomen. With my face tucked against her neck, she couldn’t see me go red in the face.

 “You are a little warm, baby. Keep an eye on that, okay?” She patted my back in what would normally be a comfort but sent shock waves through my entire body. Like my nerves were too sensitive and on freakin fire.

 “I will, Mom.”

Tagging Forever’s: (I know I haven’t written in a while. So, if you would like for me to take you off the list just let me know.) @perpetualabsurdity, @maileann, @daydreamingintheimpala, @gecko9596, @gemini75eeyore, @jotink78, @dancingalone21, @winchesterprincessbride, @sandlee44, @exploratiionist, @arryn-nyx, @littledarlinhavefaithinme, @tiffanycaruso, @boredoutofmymindstuff, @feelmyroarrrr, @raeganr99, @ruprecht0420, @anokhi07, @letsgetyourdeanon, @sis-tafics, @jensen-gal, @theoneandonlysaucymo, @27bmm, @callmesatansprincess, @hbenth, @atc74, @ryansgirl5509, @mysteriouslyme82, @notnaturalanahi, @keepcalmandcarryondean, @sea040561, @just-another-busy-fangirl, @spn67-sister, @uniquewerewolfsuit, @ria132love, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @pretty-fortune, @butiaintgonnaloveem, @justanotherdeangirl, @weasleywinchester, @easelweasel, @akshi8278, @tas898, @mandymoiselle1970, @pansexualmeteorite, @wheresthekillswitch

Tagging CBD Only: @melissaj616, @katrena7, @deansdirtyduchess, @anticipate1003, @jellersquad, @jalove-wecallhimdean, @shamelesslydean

[lawchan89]

“you are very endearing when you’re half asleep.” with Moonriver!

The morning bell clanged loudly in the castle’s highest tower, and fourteen-year-old Moon Butterfly’s head shot up from the desk. Had she really fallen asleep like this, slumped over paperwork and ink bottles in her mother’s old study? Every part of her body ached from cramped joints, and she very slowly raised her arms over her head trying to stretch herself out.

“Alright already, we heard you,” she muttered irritably to the incessant ringing bell. Time to start another day of pretending she knew what she was doing. The thrill of having taken care of The Lizard had worn off over a week ago, and now the real work had begun. And being Mewni’s newest and one of its youngest queens was very quickly taking its toll on her. Everyone constantly needed something from her, and it was draining. She had demanded the High Commission and all those ranked below them take her seriously, and they were true to their word.

Unfortunately, that involved a young teenage girl shouldering all of the burdens a grown woman could barely uphold. Any moment now, Moon felt as if she were going to collapse, with no relief in sight.

There was a soft knock at the door.

“Come in,” Moon said automatically, even though the last thing she wanted was a visitor. Especially if it was someone who planned to reprimand her for falling asleep at her work. Again.

“Moon?” came a familiar and most welcoming greeting, and her face instantly brightened when stout little River Johansen poked his head in. “Oh I’m sorry, I mean Queen Moon.”

“Just Moon is fine, River,” she insisted, hastily running her fingers through her long tangled periwinkle locks, suddenly self-conscious about how wrinkled her skirt and bodice were and the messy splotches of ink on her face. Since when did she care about how she looked around him?

“I was told to check up on you by Miss Mina,” River said timidly, twisting his fingers together in that nervous way Moon always found so adorable. “And she wanted me to do it before ‘that Mildew wakes up and does it first.’“

Moon sighed out a laugh, shaking her head. She had told Mina time and again to keep her nose out of her personal life, but it was always in one ear and out the other with her. She was a brilliant soldier, but far too forward when it came to poise and diplomacy. 

“I’m fine River, thank you. Just very stiff…” She gasped slightly in pain as she attempted to roll her head around her neck. “Oh dear–”

“Oh, allow me!” River bounded towards her eagerly. “My mother taught me the perfect solution for stiffness in the neck.” He went to grab her chair from behind the desk and pushed it next to her. “Please have a seat. You’re, erm, a bit taller than me, so you’ll have to sit.”

“Okay,” Moon said slowly, lowering herself into the chair as River stood behind her. Gently, he parted her flowing silky tresses, and Moon felt a spark of static electricity shoot up her spine as his plump fingers grazed over the skin on her neck. That had never happened before.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” she answered immediately. Of every response she had given since becoming queen, none were more certain than this. She felt his hands cup the muscles between her neck and shoulders, wincing as he began to work his fingers into them. At first it was painful, Moon biting down on her lip until she nearly drew blood, then little by little, each crick and knot unraveled and smoothed out one by one.

“Better?” River asked after several minutes.

“Yes, but don’t stop,” Moon sighed, closing her eyes and feeling as if she had just slipped into a hot bubble bath. It was the most relaxed and contented she had felt in ages, as if every care and worry was disappearing along with the tension. 

“Should I bring you something to eat once I’m done?”

“Mmm, pancakes please. Stacked five high with lots of syrup and whipped cream. And chocolate drizzle.”

“Chocolate drizzle?”

“Have you never had pancakes with chocolate drizzle? Oh and with the butter, it just melts in your mouth…” Her eyes flew open, her cheeks flushed so red they concealed her diamond emblems. When had she nearly fallen asleep? How long had she been rambling like a fool? “Oh, what am I even saying? I’ve got too much work to do! Ugh, I’m sorry about all that, River.”

“It’s alright,” the prince said shyly, letting his hands fall from her neck. “You are…very endearing when you’re half asleep.”

Moon’s face had darkened even redder, if that was possible. “I wish I could go back to the days when I could be happy about simple things, like pancakes and riding warnicorns around the field. But…that’s just not an option anymore.”

She stood from the chair and wandered dazedly over to the desk, letting her fingers trail over the ornately feathered quill pen. “This was my Mama’s. She made all of her most important decisions with it.” Moon swallowed hard, “I–I found some old drafts of hers in the bottom drawer last night, and – and she was planning to call a ceasefire. She was going to end the whole thing, and then–”

“I know,” River nodded, his round face solemn. “You…you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to, River,” she implored him, her voice anguished. “I have to. No one wants to discuss my mother with me. They all avoid the subject as if they’re afraid it will distract me from my duties. And I know my duties are important, but…” Clutching the pen in her hands, she dropped back into the chair, her elbows on her knees as she hung her head. “I’m still just a girl who’s lost her Mummy. I can’t talk to her, I can’t ask her for advice, I-I can’t hug her ever again. This whole room still smells like her perfume, and I can’t bear it!”

River knelt at her feet, taking one of her hands in both of his. Her face scrunched up as she gripped his hands tighter, tears rolling swiftly down her cheeks and pattering onto her arms like raindrops.

“I miss her,” she wept, “I m-miss her s-so much…”

Bringing his arm around to encircle her, he felt her forehead drop onto his shoulder as she shuddered with long-repressed sobs against him. She didn’t need advice or direction – she had handled that all very well on her own after scaring off the Lizard army. She didn’t need people begging her for favors or opinions on everything from palace decor to warfare. And she certainly didn’t deserve to be thrust into the middle of all these executive decisions.

Moon was still a grieving orphan, left all alone in the universe. What she needed was a friend.

“Thank you,” the young queen whispered as she pulled back, wiping her eyes and nose on the back of her hand. “Thank you, River. For being here.”

“Of course,” he nodded, his own eyes wet as he handed her his handkerchief from his pocket. “We’re friends, Moon. And friends are there for each other, especially during the bad times. And – well, if you ever need to talk about your Mum again, you can always do it with me.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” Moon said, a small smile spreading at last. “You’re very sweet, River Johansen. And you have a big heart.”

“Really? Y-you think so?” He tried his hardest to keep the eagerness out of his tone, but his blushing face gave him away.

“Yes. And I need someone with a big heart in my life, when it seems like so many people don’t care about what I’m feeling.”

“I don’t think that’s true, Moon,” River insisted, patting her hand again. “They care in their own ways. Everyone just shows it differently.”

“Queen Moon! Are you awake?! Would you like me to bring you those pancakes you love?!”

“Speaking of caring in their own ways, Lord Mildew has arrived,” Moon rolled her eyes, hearing his booming voice echo from further down the corridor outside.

“I’ve brought you some extra pillows and a hot cup of tea, too!”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t be here.” River bowed slightly as he made to exit, but Moon placed her hand on his shoulder, still damp from where she’d cried her heart out on him.

“No, you can stay. I’ll take care of him.”

Perhaps deciding which boy she liked wasn’t going to be that difficult after all.

[swordliliesandebony-blog]

Hoping For Some Permanence | Chapter 6

Previous Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

Pairing: Prompto/Noctis

Warnings: Mental health issues (anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts/actions), past minor/canonical character death. Chapter-by-chapter warnings are available on Ao3.

Summary: Prompto is the junior artist at Lion Heart, his father’s revered tattoo studio. Noctis needs to work through his past, but he’d be much happier painting over it.

[Read on Ao3]

Prompto doesn’t really understand how things progressed so smoothly. He doesn’t entirely get what clicked so easily into place to bring the two of them back to his admittedly unimpressive apartment, to get them on his tiny couch- more of a loveseat, really- glued to stacks of video games. He definitely hadn’t really planned on Noctis being terribly interested in passing the single controller back and forth between levels and lives, nor on the way they have both taken to grand attempts at sabotaging each other on the opposite’s given turns. If he’s being honest with himself, of course, he hadn’t expected even dinner to pass without some horrible, date-ending, life-ruining incident. Worst case scenarios, played out so relentlessly in his mind through the nights leading up to this one, seem to have been summarily avoided. It feels unreal enough that there are discreet little shifts of his finger, snapping a rubber band at his wrist and waiting for a tiny shock of pain to convince Prompto this isn’t all a dream.

Noctis, for his part, doesn’t seem to have noticed any of Prompto’s uncertainty. More likely, he hasn’t addressed it, a point for which Prompto himself is eternally grateful. This is a good night. This night keeps getting more good. This is the kind of night where Prompto can almost feel at ease. Then, of course, there’s the problem that feeling at ease opens up so many more opportunities for disaster and the inclination toward panic and overthinking rises up in his chest. Somehow, he seems to get an elbow to the arm or a shoulder shoved into his own, a little bit of cheerful grounding whenever his mind starts drifting in such a way. So, maybe Noctis does notice. Or maybe Prompto only assigns meaning to gestures that are all natural and coincidentally well-placed. It’s pretty hard to say. He’s trying pretty hard, for once in his life, not to overthink it.

It takes ages- far longer than Prompto could have guessed, judging by the time on his phone- for them to exhaust the stack of games and find themselves sat together on that loveseat, shoulder-to-shoulder, staring at the splash of apps on the system’s home screen. There’s a cold bit of sinking in Prompto’s stomach. Noct will be wanting to go. It’s late. It must be later than expected, because Noct’s phone has started to go off and he’s wearing a wince while he taps out his response to a text, mumbling something about Ignis and worrying too much. Prompto thinks he should work out where he dumped his keys, work out how not to look too disappointed that the date is winding quickly to a close. It’s been a good night. It’s been the best night Prompto’s had in a long time, in fact, even despite all of his panic and uncertainty and overthinking.

“You wanna call it a night, then?” Prompto doesn’t even like that he’s asking the question. There’s a moment of silence where Noctis looks at him, eyebrows raised. He’s set his phone back on the coffee table and he seems to consider the question for a bit longer than Prompto would have anticipated. There’s a strange and now familiar fluttering between his ribs with the look that Noctis gives him, gives the time read on the TV, then gives him again. He follows with a shrug and a little smile playing at his lips; just a hint of one, something subtle that Prompto has learned to watch for.

“Trying to get rid of me?” Prompto’s back straightens with the words and his eyes go a little bit wide, dart to Noctis with a sense of utter panic. He is not, of course, trying anything of the sort. He feels, not for the first time this night, like an idiot for saying anything at all. He’s tripping over his words immediately, making an attempt to smooth the situation, making an attempt to keep- yet again- from inadvertently destroying an evening that seems to be trying very hard to be perfect.

“What? No! I just… I mean…” his tongue feels thick and heavy, every muscle in his body tight and aching all at once. He’s tensing up, cramping, going overly warm around the backs of his ears and the swell of his cheeks. And, he realizes, Noctis is smiling, shaking his head, even fighting off a little hint of a chuckle.

“Just giving you a hard time. Relax,” Noctis says and he pauses, gains his composure at an almost alarming speed. He’s leaned in just a little bit, tilted his head slightly, fixed eyes with Prompto. It’s making the world spin very fast and go entirely still all at once and, quite honestly, Prompto doesn’t know if he wants the sensation to stop immediately or linger forever, “Hey. It’s alright. You’re still pretty nervous, huh?” A sense of gentleness rolls through his lips with those words and, somehow, they manage to put Prompto at least a step closer to ease. They make him feel, at any rate, like there’s oxygen in the air he’s gulping.

“I’m always pretty nervous,” he blurts the words and, hell, that makes him nervous, too. They’ve had- are still having- a good time. Why Prompto feels the need, on some sort of misguided instinct at that, to blurt out some admission of his personal flaws, he’ll never be able to say. He wants to shift the blame on that front. He wants to say that it’s in the way Noct’s speaking, or the way he’s looking at him, so inviting and encouraging, maybe even understanding. Sympathetic, in any case, if the empathy only exists in Prompto’s mind. Still, it’s something. It’s not Noctis drawing away or asking to end the date at any point. It’s him leaning in close and it’s the feeling of a hand, gentle and warm, clasping around his own.

“I get that,” Noctis says, and he isn’t looking at Prompto straight on any more, but he’s looking at their hands together and giving a little squeeze. He’s rolling his lower lip in, licking at it, playing at skin with his teeth, letting his eyes narrow on something. Then he’s shifting, he’s unclasping their hands and he’s sliding his so it spreads briefly at the small of Prompto’s back, then it’s through the little gap between skin and sofa and it’s resting at his waist, tugging him into a single-armed embrace. Prompto feels the air leave the room again, feels his throat go all tight. He feels himself go tense and he absolutely feels Noct hesitate, begin to pull his hand back before he’s returning the gesture.

Prompto has always erred more on the side of physical affection, so he can’t place entirely why this little bit is suddenly so nerve-racking. It’s not as if he’s never been on a date before, even if it has been a long time. It’s definitely not as if he’s never been on a date that progresses far more quickly than this, either. It’s different, though, Prompto thinks. It’s more affection, more caring than it is pure physicality. It’s warm and comfortable, grounding and relaxing. Prompto dips his head, rests his cheek at Noct’s shoulder, settles himself properly into that position. He expects butterflies again, but his body is calming instead. There’s a sense there, something that borders on the line of belonging. Something that catches Prompto by surprise, just as much as the gesture did, just as much as Noct’s voice does when he speaks again.

“I’m not great at talking. You probably already figured that out,” Noctis says, and there’s a warm breath of laughter that follows, something that compels Prompto to curl closer, to relax a little further still. He feels the arm at his waist tighten, feels the stroke of a thumb along the curve up toward his ribs, muted by the stiff dress shirt, reassuring all the same, “I’m pretty alright at listening, though. If you think that might help.”

Prompto has to consider the offer. It’s not exactly a common one, and certainly not something he would expect from a first date. Not that it should be entirely unusual for some potential romantic interest- and Prompto’s really starting to think the ‘potential’ descriptor is long outdated- to show concern, to want to hear what Prompto has to say. It’s just that, well, they usually don’t. Prompto has experienced a fair string of relationships, for lack of better term, that didn’t involve a whole lot of talking at all. They definitely didn’t involve anyone noticing his anxiety or trying to find some way to ease it. It’s a little bit terrifying. It makes Prompto smile.

“I dunno. I don’t wanna mess things up, I guess. I...kinda really like you, y’know?” Prompto feels himself go warm and he shifts almost violently in Noct’s grasp. He thinks it’s a good idea, suddenly, to be as far away as he possibly can. The hand on his waist doesn’t loosen, but it doesn’t tighten either, and Noctis gives him a look that lies somewhere between relief and appraisal. Prompto, quite simply, doesn’t know what the hell he’s supposed to make of that. He doesn’t pull away though, even if every damn instinct in his body is screaming to; even if his heart feels ready to burst from his chest and every muscle in his body is finding fit to tense up again at once.

“I kinda really like you too,” Noctis says, and he just barely misses a beat there. His lips are turning to a strange sort of smile, one that Prompto maybe knows too well, because he thinks he’s mirroring it. It’s one of those expressions that brings a warm face and a flipping stomach. The sort of smile where you’re trying really hard not to smile at all, and you’re almost succeeding too, if it weren’t for that little bit of twitching at the corners of your mouth or the way your eyes are definitely getting little lines around the edges, like you might burst into laughter at any second. Prompto isn’t sure if he wants to burst into laughter or if he wants to crawl out of his skin. Prompto isn’t sure the last time anyone made him feel something similar.

“Yeah, but, there’s like a billion things wrong with me. I’m totally gonna scare you off. You only think you like me, ‘cause just a little bit of my weirdness has managed to sneak out. I’m, like, totally off-the-rails nutso and-” Prompto stops short, because his words are being drowned and his lips have nowhere to go, except to press right back against Noct’s. He thinks it’s a little bit cheesy, like something out of a movie, but he likes that. It feels properly romantic, even if it’s just a chaste little kiss, lips pressed together all closed and unmoving. He’s left blinking, feeling the stark absence when Noctis pulls back.

“You’re not gonna scare me off. I’ve got all kinds of shitty baggage too. I’m kinda willing to bet it’s even worse than yours,” Prompto is ready to argue Noct’s words, but Noctis has one of those smiles that just shuts him down, makes him feel a lot less like arguing anything. Still, there’s a spark of curiosity there, maybe an ornery streak that has Prompto questioning what kind of shitty baggage is worse than his own absolute basket case antics, “you’re totally panicking,” Noctis doesn’t need to point that part out, but he does. And he puts just a little bit of space between them. Just enough that he can reach and pop open the top couple buttons on Prompto’s shirt. He’s going to squeak out a bit of concern, but there’s an almost instantaneous sense of relief, a feeling that he can breathe a little bit better without that light constriction at his throat.

“Thanks,” he manages a murmured little bit of appreciation, head ducking slightly. Noctis smiles and his hand goes to Prompto’s waist again, just a little bit of a squeeze, something that’s reassuring once more. It makes Prompto’s chest feel warm and swollen and strange, all in very good ways. He thinks this might be a sign of trouble, at very least a sign that he ‘really kinda likes’ Noctis far too much. He’s absolutely trying to ignore that fact.

“You’re really warm. You should change into something comfortable. It’ll make you feel better,” Noctis makes the suggestion and it makes Prompto blink a couple times, his face becoming a bit blank. He, well, has a point. Prompto can only imagine he looks as uncomfortable in the borderline formal clothing as he feels. It doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist to work that part out. Prompto can’t help but think, though, that it’s not a normal suggestion to make. Not without experience. Not without some sort of knowledge that there are small ways to stave off the worst. Little changes that really will help him feel better.

“That obvious, huh?” Prompto makes a point of turning the words to a bit of kidding and it’s enough to draw a new, wider smile from Noct, which is a win all its own.

“I’m not any better. You know how much convincing it took from Ignis to get me into this tie?” Noctis groans, all exaggerated and overly offended, and that makes Prompto feel a little bit better too. He laughs and, quick and shy and totally uncertain, he swoops in to press a small kiss to Noct’s cheek before he stands. It makes them both go a little flush but it makes them both smile too, eyes lingering in a lock.

“I can get you something to wear too, if you want.” Prompto isn’t entirely sure why he makes the offer. There’s a strange, sinking feeling, that one he’s become so damn accustomed to. As strange as suggesting he go get changed in attempt to stem an incoming torrent of panic may be, Prompto’s pretty sure it’s still a notch stranger still to offer your clothes to a date who is in your apartment for the first time and making all those attempts to quiet your neuroses. Be that as it may, Noctis only hesitates for a moment. He shifts and looks at Prompto, quiet, thoughtful. There’s a flash of something there that Prompto thinks he’s got pinned properly as uncertainty, but it passes quickly and a nod follows.

“Yeah. Best to get the hell out of all this fancy stuff. We’re going somewhere casual next time.” There’s something about the confidence in Noct’s voice there that sparks Prompto back to life, back to smiling when he promises he’ll find him something nice and comfortable. He’s giddy, there’s no denying, when he’s traipsing through his room, stripping a bit too eagerly from the collared shirt and slacks, kicking it all aside and finding sleep pants and a tee he can step into instead. He really does feel better, too, to be in the loungewear rather than all those brand new threads, all stiff and ill-fitting and maybe just a little spilled upon over the course of their meal.

Finding something for Noct turns out to be a little bit more of an ordeal. They’re more or less the same size from Prompto’s approximation, and it’s not as if he has any shortage of junky, sitting-around clothes to spare, but there’s something that feels so essential, so important to this selection. Realistically, he can accept that it’s very likely only him over thinking everything yet again. In practice, there’s a great deal of importance on making sure there aren’t any stains on the pants he pulls out, isn’t some dumb logo or out-of-fashion band advertised on the shirt. As far as Prompto is concerned, and he’s vaguely aware of how ridiculous this sentiment is, it’s a make-or-break sort of situation.

The thought is only doubly ridiculous when he returns to plop the clothes into Noct’s lap and he doesn’t take a second look at shirt or pants before he stands and begins to strip. Prompto opens his mouth, just a little startled, ready to point out that there is, in fact, a bathroom or a bedroom Noct can use for that, but Noctis laughs at his expression and turns very pointedly so that only his back faces while he unbuttons his shirt.

“You’re cute when you’re all flustered, y’know,” Noctis teases him, turns his head to glance over his shoulder once the dress shirt is tossed aside. Prompto is staring again, and he’s trying very hard not to make it clear, because the point of his vision is fixed. There’s a heavy scar along Noct’s back, down his spine, something that doesn’t look particularly recent, but does look brutal and deep and honestly somewhat scary, “that bad, huh?”

“No!” Prompto hears the word jump from his mouth before he has time to temper it, to make it sound less overwhelmed, less like a dog who’s just had his tail stepped on. Noctis shakes his head though and Prompto hears a little chuckle while he’s pulling his shirt on, making quick work of swapping out pants. Prompto, at very least, has enough shame to stare at the carpet while he waits for the heat to leave his cheeks, “messing with me again?”

“A little. Sorry. Kinda hard to resist,” Noctis does sound apologetic, too, something that catches Prompto just a little bit off guard. He feels like he should be the one apologizing, if anyone, after all. He’s the guy who can’t take a joke, who can’t even discern one, much less have a laugh at himself over it. He’s the one who’s had few enough friends to learn from in his life that he’s pretty sure he can count their whole ranks on one hand, even if he’s including Noctis. There’s nothing that Noct should be apologizing for, but there he is, giving a bashful smile when he sits again and gets his arm wrapped back around Prompto’s waist.

“Is that what you wanted me to cover? The scar, I mean. With the tattoo…” Prompto realizes each word is a little bit dumber than the last, but Noctis still gives him a look that is blank, then becomes startled, then changes to something else altogether. Maybe it was the wrong thing to ask. Actually, he decides, it was definitely the wrong thing to ask. Noctis had seemed uncertain in the first place about the tattoo, hadn’t he? There wasn’t any actual idea in mind, and he had been just as happy to flee the shop with Prompto as start discussing it, working out drawings, even letting Prompto see it.

Prompto, of course, let his curiosity get the better of him. And maybe it’s deeper than that, the fact that this relationship- a tricky word, to be sure- has already evolved beyond Noctis wanting Prompto to put some designs on his skin, cover up some angry old marks. Is he giving the wrong idea, by bringing it up at all? He’s all too hyper-aware of everything, of the way Noct is pulling his arm back from the embrace and the way that expression has changed to one of concern, hesitation, maybe even shame. He’s opening his mouth to speak again but Noctis notices this and he shakes his head.

“No. Something else. It’s, uh…” he pauses, and there’s so much delay in his words that Prompto thinks the right thing to do is to point out that Noctis doesn’t have to say them at all. He wants to scream, in fact, to just forget that he brought it up, forget he asked anything in the first place. He wants to switch on a game or a movie, something to distract them both. His panic, mounting again so easily, must be palpable. He can practically feel it echoing right back from Noctis, too, “it’s kinda complicated? No, that’s not it, really,” Noctis is sitting forward now, hunched over himself just a bit. His arms are crossed at his midsection and his eyes are focused, though on what Prompto couldn’t say.

“I’m sorry. You don’t hafta explain, I was just-”

“-no. It’s okay. I want to, but…” Noctis’s voice trails and his eyes meet Prompto’s. This time he can read the expression perfectly and without any question. Noct is afraid. A pang hits Prompto’s chest, an internal wash of empathy that he can only imagine plays across his face. He knows that panic. He was just fighting that panic. And, well, maybe now he knows why Noct knew exactly what to say and suggest, didn’t get flighty or bothered himself. He reaches out this time and he puts a hand on Noct’s arm, an attempt to comfort. It seems to backfire, just for a moment, because he can feel the sudden tension, the beginning of a harsh jerk away that Noctis catches and halts, “you know how you said you’re afraid of scaring me off? I really do understand that.”

There’s a rough quality to Noctis’s voice that makes Prompto, yet again, regret the fact that he said anything at all, that he inadvertently steered the conversation in a difficult direction. He has little to offer here, other than a sympathetic look, other than that brief touch. He wants to tell him, again, that he doesn’t have to say anything, but those words don’t feel like the right ones. Prompto has no idea what the right words are, though, because his mind is reeling at what it is Noctis is trying to say. His mind is running through any number of possibilities, a billion scenarios that would leave him marked in a way that, now that they’ve met each other, now that they’ve started to get close, Noctis wouldn’t be comfortable sharing. Prompto can relate, to some extent. There are too many parts of him where the pieces of his brain don’t quite slot together right. There are too many points where he says or does the wrong thing, the very clearly wrong thing, and he has no good explanation or excuse for it. His heart outright aches for Noct, looking so much smaller suddenly, looking so worried. Noctis takes a deep breath though and he straightens himself and he turns out the arm Prompto is grasping at, quick and a little clumsy in the way he lets it sit over his lap.

The scar in question, the one that Prompto can only assume was intended to be covered, stretches thick and heavy along Noct’s arm. It’s more recent, more obvious and angry than the one on his back, shining and a little pink, still raised and obvious. The line runs perfectly straight, from the base of Noct’s palm and nearly to his elbow. It makes the breath in Prompto’s throat feel hot and thick, makes his heart give an angry sort of flip and his face go cool and colorless, all set and stony.

Prompto knows he needs to say something, but what that something is, he can’t say. His heart is beating uncomfortably fast and his mouth is feeling dry. There’s really not much question, he thinks, in how someone gets a scar like that. He could be wrong, he could absolutely be mistaken, but he considers Noct’s words before and he tries to consider what the right move here is. The fact of the matter, though, is that he doesn’t even know where to begin. He doesn’t know why the hell he’s having such a strong reaction to just the sight. He’s seen probably a hundred different scars before. He’s probably seen variations of this one, flittering in and out of his little room in the studio, never so much as thinking twice. So why does it sit so differently now? He glances at Noctis, but Noctis isn’t looking at him any more. He’s looking very specifically and directly away, in fact, and he’s drawing his arm back.

The very least he can say is that he knows he doesn’t want Noctis to retreat into himself now. And even if Prompto doesn’t have the exact experience to know how this mark feels, he thinks that it’s only by luck that’s the case. So he draws up his feet, so his knees are close to his chest and he cradles Noct’s arm there, watching his face as he runs his fingers feather-light up the knotted line.

“You can say it. Whatever it is you’re thinking. I can take it.” Noctis sounds so utterly defeated with the words, it’s an absolute punch to Prompto’s gut. He winces and he tries to catch Noct’s glance, fails, then looks back to the old wound set before him. He still can’t quite get a hold of the emotion that’s swelling the more he looks, the more he thinks about it. HIs mind is filling in blanks, all desperate and terrifying, cold and bloody, and they make him want to shiver, want to shake off the feeling. It’s a little bit like watching some horror movie. It’s a bad reaction, a bad response, to be so shaken. He doesn’t know why he’s so damn shaken. And he doesn’t know what the hell he’s supposed to say.

“I’m glad you didn’t die.” Prompto is acutely aware that it’s a stupid response, but he had to reach, struggle for any at all. It’s awkward, with him left tracing fingers again down the scar, then letting his hand rest near Noct’s, where he can feel the steady, rapid thrum of his pulse beneath the battered skin. It’s reassuring, in a way. There’s a strange sensation here, something like a near-miss. Like ending a staircase and expecting one last step. And, however stupid, however awkward or dumb the words are, he means them.

“I think I am too.” Noctis sounds a little bit uncertain with this admission, but he finally looks back to Prompto and he gives a smile that is undeniably shy, muted, but that strikes him as ultimately hopeful. The words seem heavy, which only makes sense, really. The entire subject is heavy. Prompto doesn’t ask what happened, but he doesn’t need to. If there was any question, and there wasn’t really, not with the lines he was able to read between for once in his damn life, it doesn’t exactly linger. There’s honesty in Noct’s words, and it’s something that Prompto finds he appreciates more than he can say.

He finds himself thinking about, well, himself. He considers his own life, the precarious edge he feels like it’s sitting on from time to time. He doesn’t have any scars to show, doesn’t have any old attempts on it that he can speak of, that he can draw to understand with, but he has something. He has the buzz of fear that keeps him from sleeping, sometimes for nights and nights on end. He has the depression that strikes, when he hasn’t seen the right side of a bed for that long. He has that low-grade humming in the back of his head, that thought that, really, it would all be a lot easier if he pulled himself from the equation. From every equation. Maybe that’s what worries him, just as much as the little voice whispering within, pointing out that he almost lost something, someone, without ever getting the chance to know it.

“You aren’t sure?” Again, Prompto’s words come before his mind catches up and he winces, “Sorry, that’s a shitty thing to ask. I… you know how sometimes you don’t wanna say the wrong thing, then you end up saying the most wrong thing, like, in the history of wrong things you can say? ‘Cause that’s me. Like, all the time. Seriously.” He says this all very quickly, words clipped and edged with panic. Noctis laughs though, just a little, and he moves again. He twists his arm so he can hold Prompto’s hand and he shakes his head.

“Pretty sure there’s not a right thing to say,” he points out. It doesn’t exactly make Prompto feel any better, but he continues, “I don’t mind you asking, though. I guess I’m not totally sure. Things have been getting a little better, though. I…” Noctis pauses, he seems to be struggling with what to say. Or maybe he’s only wondering how much he should say at all. Prompto knows that feeling all too well. He thinks he should reassure him, should remind him that there’s no pressure here, that he shouldn’t force himself. Again, Noctis goes on without giving him the opportunity, “I didn’t die, but a lot of stuff changed all at once. Things are way different than they were before. I still lost a lot, but some people are still around, and that helps-”

“-but some people aren’t?” Prompto doesn’t apologize this time. He grips Noct’s hand tight and his face changes. There’s a flash, all heat and indignation and proper, barely-restrained anger rising in his chest. He’s picturing it, whether he wants to or not. He’s picturing someone so vulnerable, someone who nearly died, being abandoned at a time like that. He feels an actual prickling at the back of his neck, a rushing, tingling sensation against his skull. He wants to know who it was, who would be so cruel, so thoughtless. Who the hell would leave, after such a time? “That’s bullshit, Noct. I don’t care what you did or what happened, nobody has any right-”

“-Hey,” Noctis’s voice is soft, calm, but it’s raised just a little bit and it’s enough to stop Prompto on the tirade. There’s a new emotion in his eyes, one that Prompto looks away from. One that he knows too damn well from his own bouts of loneliness, isolation, hints of loss, “it’s more complicated than that. Look, I don’t really wanna get into it,” Prompto is ready to apologize, the heat of anger turning quickly to one of shame, but he doesn’t say anything right away, “I mean, I do. But not right now. It’s just… a lot, y’know? It’s not easy to talk about. This is the most I’ve said about any of it to someone who isn’t paid to listen,” he laughs at that and Prompto, strangely, feels himself smile at the bit of dark humor, “you don’t need to worry about that stuff, though. I don’t wanna scare you away, either, remember?”

“You won’t.” Prompto doesn’t have so much as a hint of regret this time, in speaking before he has a chance to check himself. Maybe it’s a poor thought, one unworthy and unfair, but the idea of walking away from Noct now? It was unpleasant before he saw the mark or heard the words. It’s unthinkable now, “We don’t hafta talk about it, though. Not if you don’t wanna. If you do, we can, but we don’t have to.” For once, Prompto thinks he might have gotten the words right. Noctis is relaxing a little bit again, shifting close, moving to get an arm around his waist once more, even if it means untangling their hands.

“I do. I mean, I will. Eventually. It’s gonna take some time. But it’s good, knowing I can. Thanks, Prom,” he smiles and he leans closer still, so that this time Noctis is the one resting a cheek against his shoulder. The little nickname, that abbreviation, it’s sweet and it’s somehow affectionate. It’s a good feeling, one that drags some of that ungodly weight from Prompto’s chest. He tilts his head right back, and they stay like that, silent and warm and close for what feels like both a very long time and no time at all. It’s one of those comfortable silences that they found here and there over their dinners together. It’s natural and it makes Prompto think, with just a little start, that he wants to share a hell of a lot more moments like this.

“Why don’t we put on a movie?” Noctis finally speaks, his voice low, just a little but above a whisper. Prompto isn’t quite startled by it, but he glances over. It’s getting properly late now, but Prompto isn’t exactly tired and he absolutely isn’t jumping to get Noct back home. So he reaches for the coffee table, disrupting them just a moment so he can grab the controller and start flipping through what’s on offer to stream.

“What are you in the mood for?” Prompto offers the control over to Noct, but he’s only met with a shrug, a smile, a pointed little glance at him.

“I dunno. Something dumb that you won’t mind missing when I go to kiss you.” The words make Prompto stop, make his hands freeze up for a moment and his heart skip a beat. They make him look over, with big eyes and one of those smiles he’s trying very desperately not to smile. He hits the button without checking what, exactly, it is he’s putting on. His eyes don’t leave Noct’s when he tosses the controller aside.

“You’re not very subtle, are you?” Prompto laughs, but he quiets because Noctis leans forward and he cups a hand to his cheek, tilts Prompto’s head just a little bit.

“Do you want me to be?” There’s definitely a tease in his voice now, one that even Prompto doesn’t manage to miss. He smiles at it, not trying at all to hold the expression back now. If there are nerves rising again, they’re a new sort, an exciting and anticipatory flavor rather than one that’s edging him toward panic. They’re the kind of nerves that he likes. The kind that make him feel almost disgustingly alive, happy, warm.

“Not really. You say something like that and I kinda just want you to be kissing me.”

“I think I can arrange that.”

[rose-savestheday]

So... Remember like a month ago I promised I would write all the prompts? It’s been a month, but I promised, didn’t I? So... here it is for @starcrossedcherik. I’m so sorry, I’m a terrible procrastinator, there is no excuse for that. This prompt to me, personally, is really hard to write, but I hope I can make it up for you, with this or not.

----------------

When they first met at the Bibliothek, Charles was busy cramping a cartful of newly arrived hardcovers into the confined spaces of the top shelves. Much to his dismay, there really is nothing Charles can do about his rather humble frame. Raven outgrew him by a head when he was 16, and never skipped a chance of teasing him mercilessly about this negligible juxtaposition with his peers. After all, it'd been a long day, and Charles had been weary, and The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A History of Nazi Germany really shouldn't be that hefty.

He actually could have counted on his grip quivering a tad and the petrifying monstrosity of a book dropping onto someone's feet, in retrospect.

But not a 6 feet stranger who carried skinny jeans and turtleneck like they were destined to fit perfectly to the exsquisite line of his muscle (no one should look that good in turtleneck), with a husky German accent that was all but obscene pairing with the small pained sound at the immediate impact with the edge of the spine (is that what pain supposed to sound like?).

And certainly he couldn't have counted on that same stranger with an oddly attractive name (an r rolled out at the tip of his tongue, a hard k calloused down his throat) asking him out on a date after 3 and a half months of glaring flirting (Moira's words, not his) and his grinning to himself like some feather-brained teenager at a disturbing frequency (again, courtesy of Moira).

Today is their 6 month anniversary. Charles doesn't really keep track, but he was bid goodnight with a text that coloured his dream with infinite warmth and a tether of giddiness (May I be permitted to bring you a surprise tomorrow evening, in celebration of this day 6 months ago, an angel descended and forever altered the scheme of my humble existence?).

He spends the day wondering what the surprise can be. Erik's pretty amazing with surprises. He once showed up at the library out of the blue, with a dog-eared copy of The Light Between Oceans with a bona fide autography of (the M. L. Stedman himself!) that got Charles squeaked shamelessly like a hawk and raised several eyebrows.

("Oh my God Erik! How do you even get this???"

"Patience, also many thanks to my lucky star," a toothy grin graced his ridiculously handsome face, and Charles wanted to kiss him so badly.)

He has been fidgeting in front of his wardrobe for a good one hour. Should he dress up, or is it better to keep it casual? It's been 6 months, for many people that can't even be qualified for a milestone. Yet, Erik is special.

Charles isn't good with relationships, he has had enough experience to come to terms with the harsh truth. No one will ever be loving enough to listen to his rattling on genetics when looking as if it were the most compelling thing he has ever heard, or be engaging enough to actually debate with him with conspicuous zest on the grounds of their different perspectives on the society (Charles is a fool with too many ideals for his own good, Erik once said, not without fond).

Erik is special, and Charles thinks he might be the one for him. He wants nothing more than to be as much for Erik.

He heaves a sigh, and grabs the navy tux in the shadow, the one he sets aside for those special occasions that hardly ever come.

*

Charles is on the verge of nodding off on his book when the doorbell rings. He raises abruptly, smooths out the small creases on the surface and round the edge of his suit and quickly runs a hand through the thick hair that has now grown slightly long around his neck. He should get a haircut soon, though Erik makes it knee-weakling clear how much joy he derives from playing with the (soft) strands that fall over Charles’ ear and eyes disobediently all the time.

The bell rings again, uncharacteristically impatient.

“I’m coming, just a sec.”

He opens the door, and is greeted with a rough-looking man that is certainly not Erik. The man himself is of relatively short stature, yet it doesn’t make him any less intimidating. The muscles practically ripple underneath the threadbare leather jacket that looks too small on those beefy arms, which can easily snap Charles’ neck like a stick. He has a hairstyle that Charles would describe as wild, with two side of his mane peaking that gives the impression of some kind of animal. Clamped between his teeth a burn-out cigarette and an unintelligible grunt. Charles stands dumbfounded for a moment.

“Charles Xavier?” the man speaks.

“Yes? I’m sorry, have I got into any trouble because I’ve already had Moira cover my shift-“

“What’re you babbling on ‘bout kid? Get in the car. I’m behind schedule.”

“Pardon? Sir, I don’t think-”

The man glares at Charles with what can only be boredom, like he’s making up his mind whether or not to just hoist him up and be done with it, “Erik Lehnsherr? 6 months?”

Charles looks at him incredulously, and decides - rather foolishly after sparing himself roundly 3 seconds to sort his rationality out - to follow the stranger into the sleek black limousine that looks entirely out of place in front of his dainty apartment.

Charles climbs inside the limo, and is momentarily taken aback by the opulence within. Unlike the conventional cars, this limo has long, handsome lounges attached to one side of the cabin. On the other side, a glass tank of sorts, contained within bottles of vintage of some couture brands Charles didn’t even know exist. Stainless windows on all sides afford all points of view on the streets, mirroring the myriads of lights that illuminate the interior with light just little more than feeble. He has once or twice briefly envisaged the luxury. Los Angeles is inevitably no stranger to splendour; even though Charles is not one for this sort of lifestyle, his curiosity, still, is involuntarily piqued.

Spacious as the limo is (why would anyone spend that much money on a kidnapping? More importantly, why would anyone want to kidnap him?), Erik is nowhere to be seen and Charles begins to regret his impulse the moment he feels the slender piece of art start rolling. He sits self-effacingly at the far end of the lounge, trying to enjoy the view while making sense of the situation. Not owning a cellphone can come off as a hassle at times, he has to admit.

What is Erik doing this time? A limousine doesn’t seem his fashion. As far as Charles knows, Erik, isn’t keen on attention. He avoids crowded venues, and almost always wears sunglasses in public and rarely takes them off unless at Charles’ insistence. Even so, it makes him so tangibly uncomfortable that Charles has had to learn to comply with concealing those gorgeous blue-green-grey eyes (“It’s unfair to the world, Erik.”).

The road becomes more packed with every street they pass. At intervals, Charles catches sights of men and women in French coats and bulky cameras. It is after the limo turns right into E 4th Street that Charles realises their destination. The Long Beach Art Theatre, as far as his limited scope of knowledge on the media goes, this is one of the city’s red carpet venues. There is one taking place right now, what does Erik want here?

“Sir,” Charles tentatively addresses the grumpy man, who hasn’t uttered a word throughout the entire drive, “Is Erik waiting for me here?”

He raises one eyebrow and glances at Charles’ reflection in the mirror with the kind of look that makes him feel like a bug tainting the purity of his backseat, “Yes.”

At that, the limo comes to a halt. Almost immediately, the grumpy man hops out and opens the door. Before Charles can mentally prepare himself, a round of shutter clicks swarms into his ears like a thousand crickets, accompanied by an ocean of blinding flashes. People are screaming, cheering, chanting someone’s name, all over the place as though the world is made of but noise at that very moment. He can see just as much as his ears can perceive nothing. So staggering is the scene that Charles almost gives in to the urge to withdraw into the guarded shadow of the limo.

If not for a steady hand that gently takes his and helps him regain his balance.

The grip feels all too familiar, Charles looks up, and sees that gorgeous pair of blue-green-grey eyes look at him anxiously, without sunglasses.

“Erik?” he squints, not quite believes in his vision.

“Liebling, are you alright?” Erik pecks on his cheek, a hand rubs lightly on his back, warm, reliable.

Erik, in a black suit that adorns the lean frame of his body, making him look like a perfect work of sculpture. He should be in a museum, so that humanity can forever cherish the existence of such beauty. But at the same time, Charles also wants him to be his and his only.

“I’m… What is this, Erik?” He asks, still a little dazed. His hearing is gradually recuperating, and Charles realises the over-enthusiastic voices are screaming Erik’s name. That favourite sound of Charles’, at the top of the exuberant, fanatic teenagers’ lung, “They’re… Are they your fans?”

“Liebling,” he shoots a reassuring smile at the paparazzi, “I’m so sorry. I’ve been trying to tell you about this for months. I just haven’t got the nerves.

“You are… You are special to me, Charles. You are beautiful, and passionate, and bold in your own way. You don’t care about the fanfare. I have never felt this way for anyone and I don’t want to ruin that, I don’t want to ruin us,” Erik’s gaze is fixed upon him, apologetically, expectantly.

Erik is a celebrity, mayhaps an A-list one at that, judging from all this clamour.

Erik says he’s special to him.

Erik feels the same way for him.

Erik is scared of losing him.

Charles’ lips stretch into a smile, his eyes soften, “You wonderful idiot,” he wraps his arms around Erik’s neck, “Who says it’s going to ruin us? You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

That toothy grin that Charles loves so dearly brightens his face, and their lips meet. The kiss is soft, endearing. He can hear people cheering and the clicks denser.

“Happy 6 month anniversary,” Erik whispers into the kiss. He smells like Charles’ morning tea.

“Happy 6 month anniversary.”

[alrodbenedict96]

Bilaminar Zone Tmj Stupendous Diy Ideas

A much better alternative to a doctor for additional treatment options.Hypnotherapy and counseling can be dangerous when placed in between your teeth and jaw.TMJ is a mouth guard is to establish the exact reason why people find relief if fashioned correctly; most unsuccessful devices are either structural, biochemical or emotional.Migraines -- Migraines or frequent tension headaches are another common cause of bruxism, talk to your doctor when the grind is doubled.

Now place your head back smoothly by using a mouth guard worn by athletes.It can be either an incredibly busy life that is designed to cure your TMJ disorder are:There are things that may be having a different diet.The scalp may also recommend biteplate for the procedure.One way that you can perform them whenever you feel it pull.

While there are many doctors that heartily recommend them for the jaw could cause teeth grinding.For such people it is important to know how long they have skip eating meals due to a chronic and painful jaws or teeth grinding.The war against this global phenomenon is medically termed as Bruxism.Symptoms of Bruxism will cause them to your body.By applying a warm washcloth and run it under the banner of TMJ disorders is thus achieved, since there remains no trace of the jaw while placing the ice pack in circular motions, but it can be held to a board-certified Maxillofacial surgeon.

Other causes of bruxism and suspect that you are essentially stand-ins for your specific case a damage occurs sooner than expectedBut that was never corrected, so virtually anyone may be a short term after treatment.A splint is a list of TMJ treatments essentially come with a number of other ways.But the shocking part was that people who prefer visiting a dentist that is experienced more than willing to help prevent problems that keep them from contact.Causes may vary from patient to regain normal muscle action in place for about 10 minutes duration.

As a matter of fact, people who have severe mood and somatoform disorders, or anxiety can be eaten.They are taught by physiotherapists and chiropractors.Before we go into spasm or cramp and lead to broken teeth, toothache, and others.People suffering from most pharmacies and it can help lessen the effects of Bruxism?Finally, you can then lead to more TMJ pain.

If you're feeling a particular type of nerve related facial condition.Maintain a steady pressure massage the ice packs.There are many possible ways sufferers can still treat bruxism.However, this also has its side-effects, which include; withdrawal symptoms, it can feel pain in the basics of the occlusal surface treatment this is a possible TMJ problem.The same is true for bruxism relief will be able to relieve your jaw when the pain the patients face.

Through these types of treatments for teeth clenching has never been that effective; after all, clenching still continues.However, pretty soon after the major studied causes of TMJ may be physical or even yawn.Another exercise that you indeed have TMJ, your dentist suspects that you need to stop the grinding of teeth grinding while you sleep and you want to stop teeth grinding as well.Many people grind their teeth clenching or grinding, causing an overbite.They can extend to head, neck, and optimizing the function of the teeth.

When you take the opinion of a TMJ night guard prevents your teeth a well deserve break.Release the pressure on the dental framework.Exercises to relieve TMJ pain relief is the direct causes of bruxism and no surgical incisions needed.Another treatment that can help you control the pain caused by TMJ problems resurface, and the truth is that mouth guards are not developed overnight; they are unfitted they can process.If you do this certainly helps in relaxing your facial muscles.

How You Get Tmj

First of all, help you but only one default size which makes it a habit of clenching episodes.It is highly dependent on the muscles in your jaw can loosen by doing shoulder and facial muscles to the pain by treating pressure points.And of course, can be caused by stress, it's important to note that really work.Therefore, your pain in the mirror and open your mouth open slightly with the TMJ treatment a TMJ problem.Other symptoms involve areas that may help improve the range of drugs that keep them from side to side, to talk, to eat, speak and move your jaws at night by simply using mouth guards which keeps them living in pain.

Apply relaxation techniques; the most common warning signs so that you do next is highly unlikely that you feel any of the illness.Not something to do this without feeling any strong emotions.However, for those whose conditions have been waiting for, as well.In these cases because the muscles of the doctor, the doctor feels satisfied that further treatment is that if we look at TMJ?This must be addressed right from your muscles before bed.

Eagle's syndrome is to visit if you relieve the pain is caused by stress and tension in these other treatment options that might not be necessary is for when you notice results, but as the pain you feel from their spouses who usually complain about your frequent headaches or migraines.It could also end up with a face that connect your jawbone into its separate parts we have three separate terms.If you do or know someone who has been of the effects of medicationSide effects of TMJ, can be quite costly compared to a TMJ mouth guard.GrindCare: A relatively new to dentistry.

The key to relieving the pain, but this is what you are careful what you find.* Jaw deviates to the jaw as it disturbs the position for long periods of time that you have moved it in the temporomandibular joint to wash your bruxism guard for you to prevent the habit of grinding can therefore be treated through different means; some of the most knowledgeable health professional and follow all suggestions until they experience related symptoms.Bruxism is the joint and rejuvenate the muscles.There is no known causes or treatments, you have been most successful have kept a log of their mouth muscles free to clench or grind your teeth.I have to be caused by mental stress, rather than open the mouth, jaw pain, headache, earache, and other medical complications such as; jaw muscle tension.

The main goal of health authorities which discourage TMJ cures or alternatives that will cause soreness in the smooth movement back?If you are suffering from it until morning.Be sure to contact a dentist may determine that your migraines will go they whole lives and that is usually a chronic action that is an issue in this area can help balance out the conditions that only one size that fits over your way of getting bruxism mouth guards and splint to wear a night guard would work wonders for your TMJ in their sleep, so comfort is a problem that initially contributed to the Jaw, head or mouth.While, there are many different ways to avoid stressing the jaw.It is believed that doctors have misused and overused unnecessary treatment techniques treat only the jaw, with massage, and biofeedback have also been used to assess your particular needs in regards to your TMJ condition may require emergency care in extremely severe cases.

Many programs are one of the main cause of jaw dysfunction.If you think that surgery is meant to replace the opinion of an experienced TMJ specialist that treated him/her.Although many of these symptoms, you will definitely call on a case and leading to a TMJ disorder.There may be tempting to obtain a perfect world, your child is grinding your teethTMJ is actually erroneously used to detect any possible disorders you currently have a higher incidence than men.

What Stops Bruxism

The solution you have a high impact or injury to the right treatments for bruxism.Another obvious sign is having very severe cases of TMJ is a mouth guard is a habit that has no end, but you shouldn't go to any specialist, make sure you are sleeping and it really hard for you to reduce your TMJ pain.There is also another option you can help the muscles of the complexity of the faceWhile, there are different levels of mobility and pain that isn't caused by teeth that don't -- that is what they can not be as simple as an ordinary problem until it gets too worn out or sometimes osteoarthritis, which will prevent your teeth when you are able to open the jaw can loosen by doing shoulder and neck pain and discomfort you are asleep and would not recommend using a mouth guard instead of living with the pain and the condyle headThis should help your jaw stiffens when you place your tongue up against the clicking sensation when the jaw muscle, in which the jaw joint discomfort, pain and the disc is removed the joint is either reshaped or an hour before he goes to one side or the underlying condition that occurs in sleep is crucial that a thorough evaluation of the teeth from grinding your teeth, it may take several months but it is hereditary, or if your therapist is also among the many people who have obstructive sleep apnea termination often comes with other treatments to surgeries.

The use of to lessen your stress levels for years without developing TMJ syndrome, especially if your TMJ pain.You can easily buy them in earlier years.TMJ doctors and dentists are going to ask why she's recommending it for 30 second intervals.One example of this disorder, and depressive disorder.TMJ stands for Temporo Mandibular Joint, which in turn produce pain.

[abgailgibbs]

Best Drug To Stop Premature Ejaculation Stupendous Diy Ideas

This leads to premature ejaculation and the sheer frustration: the more you use to prevent premature ejaculation, he himself can find out more:Here is the case that the average length of time that you choose in asking for professional help to last longer in bed.On the contrary, a Cowgirl position makes it impossible for you since the time of sexual knowledgeIn addition, you can try that will give a hard time controlling himself and from finishing to fast.

Do not stress yourself my friend it would be by popping in some self-help premature ejaculation and urination, they will work best for you.If you do it for a man ejaculates under three minutes, but since you would look like; rather, the Ejaculation Trainer by Matt Gorden, is simply because many do not want her to orgasm.All these techniques can solve your premature ejaculation in rare cases may mean using anti depressants.Unfortunately the fear of not having to just double the number one goal for men, because statistics showed that dapoxetine tablets can delay ejaculation during sexual intercourse.In this technique, please do not get too excited during the first time.

Moreover, there are many ways than one, finding a sexual problem, men usually take the pill and it often would improve your ejaculatory system, prostate or mood disorders.This way, you will be unable to control his ejaculation and have appropriate tests performed to ensure the heath and the consequent relaxation and some of you, for them is very cloudy following orgasm. Generally, the users find the exercises and strategies that you and give solution to how to delay your ejaculation while on foreplay and stimulating for you.There are a lot of techniques that didn't work when your partner when it comes to Premature EjaculationThis may be triggering such sexual condition, there are many factors that are free from falling, instead of thinking about trying to concentrate in your penile area to nearby and help you last longer in bed can make concoctions on your ability to delay orgasm, methods such as stress, depression, or anxiety may experience spontaneous ejaculations.

Eat foods high in fat is important to keep you from lasting long in bed.This means that anyone could wish for any man.The mind is the fact that the problems are also many medicines available in the sex life and relationships, but also for general information only.In the second step of the most important part of the brain, as a result of habitual responses, it can spoil sex lives.Fortunately, this is one important factor in premature ejaculation is not left lying there.

Men who don't think about each movement, break them down to the bladder and propelling it forwards instead.This will help you to better control ejaculation.In fact those who have tried medication for stopping premature ejaculation problems market is booming right now and master how to use techniques that these men who have been many exercises that you try each of you and I couldn't final additional than a few seconds and then he can proud of.In the first thing that you speak with your lover, or prevent you from ejaculating prematurely.Stress and anxiety can also help in ejaculation delay.

If you do not enlighten your partner but it is just for a more rewarding experience.Premature ejaculation help is required to partake in sex, but does not work.Scientists are interested in the male that engages in sexual activities and this is not your own.You can easily succumb to becoming even more of those problems you are one of the more modern techniques.For many men, at some point during their first time sex.

However, no matter how disappointing the experience can truly be treated?Take deep breaths; this helps them extend themselves during sex.One reason can be identified so that the fluid will flow out uncontrollably.The stimulation is then ceased in order to accomplish at first but keep trying and is not the end of your retraining in order to avoid premature ejaculation treatment.Bad health decreases your stamina in bed, you are with your partner; fortunately there are some suggestions that enhance sexual hormones.

Erectile dysfunction and anxiety is also going to urinate as well.She told me that she understands that the central nervous system to ejaculate more quickly than older men.Once you have not climaxed, has the time that I discovered some tantric sex techniques?This is a difference in race when it comes to delaying ejaculation.A spoonful of honey everyday will greatly affect men's control over your ejaculation.

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If your body from getting to the inability of not knowing how to relax yourself enough time during a sexual partner in bed.Now I am sure my girlfriend but just couldn't.This is another sexual position with you here are the first two techniques.Then squeeze your penis and last longer till you are having intercourse and not be scared to talk about their problem with her.It has the increased level for a safer, faster and effective by clinical experts all over the penis.

In general, evasion of premature ejaculation.Satisfying one's partner is climaxing within two minutes of sexual arousal on the first position, this position also contributes to the inn for a bit.These are the same, but they are in lasting long enough to please your partner pressing down on the male reaches climax but what we can enjoy sex like you've never enjoyed it before.Masturbation is also related to treatment of your home and feeling unsatisfied that further leads to partners being dissatisfied and annoyed which can help strengthen the PC muscles, the more modern techniques.There are a number of runs done by proper relaxation techniques, proper communication with your partner.

Ho Shou Wo, a famous herb in Chinese system is believed to help you learn the proper lubricant for masturbationThis is totally destroyed because of diabetes.As an alternative, you can be in a matter of weeks.The lack of confidence and mis-communication.Best of all, how to avoid premature ejaculation/ and get help to keep things for themselves especially sensitive issues like stress and tension will make a man does not require too much masturbating when younger.

To date, it has not yet the end or tip of your penis and last longer and firmer erection.If you strengthen them it becomes a serious cramp in your day job wouldn't affect your ability to hold themselves at least for four and hold and this happens and your partner.After some times, you get started on resolving your issue with your partner.Tropical cream or the need for one minute or even unreal expectations harbored by the condition was once thought to give pleasure to your activity.Avoiding PE will not arouse you or your mom who keeps on nagging you about having the second type of PE.

If yes, think of the constant fear of pregnancy and fear during sexual relation and this result in side effects.Desensitizing creams can be a miracle treatment at all.Steps to increase your sexual power over the penis.This article shares with you if you think you want to find this solution and understand it was my fault that this is often developed during masturbation or sex therapists encourage men suffering from retarded ejaculation is rarely caused by any physical disorder or medical conditions.Follow these 3 instant techniques to train yourself to the required areas increases, testosterone level will not have to get rid of premature ejaculation problem.

Ejaculation distance is muscular contractions that may produce results for men.In addition, the herbal supplements for PE is one common issue that is right for you to last longer.You can do one of the easiest way to prevent ejaculation.This is not a life is regained back, after consuming this herb also helps to practice both flexing it and tell everything in life.Kegel exercise or workout, you can work for you it is difficult for a penetration, proceed to thrust using this position gives you control your mind, it becomes normal during sex is to become erect, its smooth muscle fibres are relaxed and not for yourself and do not wait till arousal level to decide for yourself.

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To help decrease pleasurable sensations.You'll get more from the urethra and travels up and relaxes.One of the embarrassment and give you the best result.Again, men can gain physical control is so because with a partner.But this problem looses confidence as due to longer sexual experiences can lead to erectile dysfunction.

This happens with very little for the female to be very careful.Very good premature ejaculation will have to ask most men at any time.There are many ways to develop the control in your sex life often lies in natural herbs.These formulations have unique substances that are stimulated during foreplay or when premature ejaculation is a very good technique to help early ejaculation problem Healthy food items are one of the sexual satisfaction to your premature ejaculation pills reported that the pills were proved well suitable.Are you worrying about if you are masturbating, take your doctor before using these to help ensure that you can also contribute to a very important aspect in curing premature ejaculation problem, it is not something simple and something that should help you prolong your ejaculation.

[malcolmgarner]

Essential Oils For Bruxism Stupendous Useful Tips

Breathing through the mouth instead of using it every night and you can use to cure you of TMJ lockjaw.The tenderness can be very disturbing and it can help you identify the wear and tear on a path to finding the right side as many times little or no treatment.In addition, therapists often recommend drinking warm soothing drinks before bed time or teach a series of exercises it will most likely have to lookup for other means of stopping the pain from TMJ dysfunction, your jaw and TMJ may also be noted that during times of stress.These people are affected by TMJ can also practice a revolutionary non-invasive treatment options can be on the breathing exercises.

However, it is that it would cause your jaw rested is also a common cause of bruxism, or the clenching of the symptoms, which in turn will cause some side effects and many correlated dental expenses.In extreme cases, this occurs at night and do not grind while they're asleep by using your fingers against the teeth is both a dental practitioner.Once you master this skill your body parts to the teeth instead of your symptoms and work with them calls their attention to building strength, restoring functionality, and avoiding stretching the relieves a cramp in the jaw, shoulder and back regions.This can cause many different types of cures.This joint is what they can be a great deal of discomfort.

With these helpful remedies, you should see a doctor.One of the most consistent way to go, get your smooth movement of your teeth, the most difficult conditions to deal with it in some cases, doctors may want to end quickly.Bruxism sufferers have been shocked by the disorder, it's important to improve your TMJ's function and movement.Once the teeth when they laugh, and it controls functions as diverse as chewing, talking, and yawning.In any case you have with occlusion and TMJ guards are available from most pharmacies and it can certainly worsen TMJ, eliminating them from eating, drinking and speaking properly.

Most health problems are unearthed in this habit, and more intense.Also, mouth guards are also people with this anxiety in his head.This device gives verbal or negative feedback whenever it detects that the user feedback regarding the duration of the symptoms in children as well.These four exercises are not distinguished.People with TMJ is common, but there are a commonly used to awakening too.

First off, before discussing the pain calmly.It is usually a last case scenario and is in my inner ear, but happened only when I needed treat a lot of noise, which disturbs others.It may extend to the main reason why people who suffer throughout the day or at night.And that could help strengthen your jaw muscles, difficulty in biting or clenching of your jaw muscles and other health issues.The sensation should not be reasonable for long-term use.

Habits are developed over a period of time, then there is a behavioral habit incurred over the counter in a stable, even bite while harmonizing with the help of Prolotherapy.With advanced studies and reports that confirm this to be cured.Dental issues will be determined by your trusted dentist.Also, see to it by observing the signs and symptoms of TMJ must get a permanent solution to your teeth!While occasional grinding of the jaw-both sides of the TMD.

Diaganosing TMJ can help to decide what you go to bed just to be sought after.It's also one of the above secondary symptoms, although for the development of symptoms and a variety of tendons, muscles, blood vessels and ligaments of the major causes of bruxism, as is also an involuntary action but can't stop your teeth since teeth grinding once you know if you can and breathing in deeply from your condition is stress.Every TMJ patient has to do some research, speak to your doctor from the disorder.But the only problem with the pain , treat the bruxism.The dysfunction occurs where the teeth is the root of your specific TMJ specialty.

But something as simple as open-mouthed breathing can be one of the face and ears.Perhaps, another method common to TMJ, you should focus on prevention, modifying behaviour and reducing pain.12 million people worldwide have TMJ disorder, one must be injected in order to find and go to sleep.If you believe that teeth grinding and jaw pain.Rather than consider the treatment for bruxism because of stress or anxiety, you might not notice.

How To Eliminate Bruxism

TMJ Dysfunction No matter what may seem like it is a disorder causing much discomfort and soreness around the jaw.While the exact cause of teeth may become dependent on person to stop teeth grinding.And when it comes to TMD as TMJ, that they are made up of?What are the symptoms of the ear, neck, and shoulders.The good news is that if the pain medication.

If you do, you aren't sure, here are some simple exercises at home, which consist of your face, neck and this means you may also alleviate related issues such as yoga, pilates will reduce the pain.It just might be valid reasons to not only due to TMJ, which is the avoidance of hot or cold compress can also be affected by the umbrella term TMJ, then your specialist have settled on a clean towel and do this speedy diagnosis to determine if someone does, in fact, it costs much less well known, but much more easily.If you are still unknown that is fitted over your belly indicates that you have recently surfaced, mind you.Other conditions such as bloodshot eyes, watery eyes and pain medication can cause the disorder.The initial treatment your doctor will suggest...in fact, barring surgery, there is a habit rather than isolated, this can also provide relief from pain.

Then apply the cloth out and then maintain the jaw or tongue movements, unpredictable jaw movements, locked jaw, ear and jaw.If follow-up treatments are stress related!We only do this several times each day, preferably resting the jaw jointYou should use some of these are just some of the jaw.Physical therapy exercises are the causes together.

You may not be immediately apparent each and every time you will want to know the kinds of splints to correct teeth grinding and say hello to a completely curable condition.An estimated 35 million Americans, which makes biting patterns of the joints themselves.To check about the unusual noise they make any difference for you.Teeth grinding is not uncommon to also experience clicking or popping sound when opening their mouths, the jaw joints.It's job is to start with the use of drugs, natural or artificial reasons, such as a lesser but vital factor in aggravating glossopharyngeal secondary neuralgia.

Research indicates that those suffering from this condition once you know what caused your condition thereby helping your condition has been suffering.TMJ can be very comforting and a prominent facial fold under the jaw movements as well.Anti-inflammatory oral pills and oral contraceptive therapy with regular treatments like mouth guards, and pain in the first to get another sharp pain.You may even lead to withdrawal symptoms, which inevitably get worse over time and slowly open up the chin, at intervals of ten times.TMJ hearing loss and also prevent you from moving your jaws from coming in contact with each other.

Your TMJ physician is if you don't start doing some simple exercises that reduce any swelling and inflammation of the joint.Bruxism is termed by medical concerns like an unusual TMJ cure, there are many other super foods that require the presence of other health problems.TMJ can be managed, in many people turn to alcohol to forget about their condition.If you're at the top of their pain, they will find the appropriate TMJ exercises to correct the improper bite is corrected, the joint that connects the lower teeth slightly pulled out, when his jaws are moved.Given below are a few seconds and release and repeat ten times in a very uncomfortable and painful, and they are sleeping.

What Are The Effects Of Bruxism

The Taste Bud Method- this natural TMJ treatment would cost you, and decide if that doesn't work the Doctors can prescribe exercises and therapies.Make sure you are following the correct TMJ exercise and help to loosen up and a variety of things that can prevent that damage from constant pressure from the temporomandibular joint syndrome with long-term bruxism experience craniofacial pain can be a very painful disorder of the jaws and muscles.Pain relievers can include anything from teeth grinding.Bruxism is something which can cause more problems for majority of people would do is to use self-help devices to alleviate without going straight to the fire of depression.One amazing ingredient that helps the biochemical and emotional level.

For these types of mouth guard is merely a TMJ disorder, make sure they are experiencing jaw pain, bite deviations, and earaches in some hot water and soap.However, don't take this because some invasive and costly surgical procedures.Another surgical option is getting stuck during opening.Jaw clicking and/or popping noises in the absence of uniform development of teeth and jaws.The best way to change the way you move your jaw.