#not even in a people pleaser way i dont think! literally just.

[dullahandyke]

sigh actually whatd fix me is getting into shit that nobody i know knows abt so theres no expectations or whatever. my blade of the immortal arc was soooo good for me

[ssparksflyy]

dating jason grace hcs! (ᴗ͈ ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

pairing jason grace x child of hermes!reader summary based off this request !! an lin manuel as hermes no matter how much i pretend to hate youre iconic and i actually love you

"okokokok" and "lalalala" who ???

people were so surprised when you started dating since youre literal opposites ?!?!

youre so chill and laid back and fun

jason straightens up so quick and salutes if somebody yells attention

but since he's met you, he's definitely relaxed a little more

he's learnt to accept the fact that he can actually relax at times and just enjoy himself ?!?!?!? (shocking, right)

and you were the one who taught him that !!

it honestly started when your first met

cause he was training by himself after lessons had finsihed

you were walking around with your siblings, just passing by and decided to ask him if he wanted to go to the fireworks show that was being held that night ♡

cause like youd seen him around camp before, always helping someone out with someone, and youd be lying if you said you didnt think he was cute 😋 (i sound like a nine year old omg bye)

so what better time to ask than now !

i could lie and say he was super chill about it but lets be honest he was already smitten before you could even finish the question

dropped his sword, face all red and everythinggg 😵‍💫

(you tease him about this now, but he just fights it with a corny "guess you stole my heart" that makes you cringe and roll your eyes yet still smile)

he tried to act all cool and say he'd think about it when in reality he was already getting ready to run to the aphrodite cabin and ask piper for help

i love tlh trio so much i just know jason would be panicking about the whole thing and piper's trying to reassure him + give genuine advice while leo is just messing around 😭

he did manage to get some tips and you ended spending the whole nights talking and laughing instead of actually watching the fireworks ♡♡

he walked you back to your cabin and by then you both established big ol' crushes on each other (aw ya cuties)

the amount of teasing you got from your cabin that night was actually crazy though

you were last to get in that night and entered to a whole chorus of 'oooooo's

a few thrown pillows and 'connor i swear to the gods i will push you off the lava wall-'s later and you were finally able to go to sleep though ♡

the teasing and jokes never stop

even when you (finally) started dating

its your cabin's love language honestly

your younger siblings are OBSESSED with jason

hes actually so good with kids bye

he just 'treats them the way he wished he was treated as a kid :(

his words not mine i dont talk like im giving an anti-bullying assembly

but like he loves playing with them

instant besties !

he even helped them prank you one time :o

he felt so devious doing it good lord

real i was a bad girl i did some bad things yaknow

literally all he did was distract you as your siblings taped a balloon full of water and got a dart pin ready to pop it when you walked into the door

but he was all giggly when the prank succeeded

only for like 5 seconds cause then he was helping you dry off and apologizing

you didnt minddddd, it was fun seeing him act like a "rebel"

okay call me crazy but like trackstar power couple

hermes kids are fast, known fact, evidence? tlt musical said so

and i feel like jupiter/zeus kids would be too!! like moving at the speed of lightning hyperbole... please tell me you see the vision

but like being able to use that as an excuse to get some time away from people... the scandal.

jason telling the group he's with (not necessarily close friends, he knows he can just tell them that he's going out with you) that he's going out for a run

youll be flushed when you return-

when really he's ditching them to go hang out with you

cause this man can NOT say no. he's a people pleaser man it's hardwired into our brains

and they'll think it's normal cause like jasons weird

why question the kid who likes musicals and history

do you see where this is going.

jason taking you to watch opening night of hamilton cause he's been bouncing off the walls for it and really wanted to show you so he'd have someone to talk to about it after :)

it started off fun!!

you were both really enjoying the beginning! well, the first minute and twenty seconds of it at least

cause after that you lost your shit :D

your dad was literally on stage, a few hundred feet away from you, acting as a founding father

the rest of the show you were internally freaking out, questioning everything

jason had no clue, not until you told him during intermission

had the AUDACITY to say "...and thats how you were born" after the traumatizing experience of say no to this

after the show you chased you dad down on the street as he was trying to get 'home'

jason was lowkey giggling the whole time like he was not taking this serious at alllll

but hey he got to meet your dad !!

hermes likes jason, thinks he's a very distinguished gentleman

jason likes hermes, thinks he's pretty good at rapping

at least one of you gained something from that experience

not proofread !

[big-box-of-kinda-silly-fop-ideas]

Just wanted to make like a proper way bio thing for peri (irep coming soon probably if i bother)

I would write fanfiction but uh idk if i could so these are more like characters notes

real long post below

Peri is a highly independent adult, he doesn’t like being coddled or touched without any warning and isnt the type to ask for help at all even if he really needs it. He’s an extremely closed off person using the suave act as a way to personally seperate himself to others which he developed due to his celebrity status, the suave personality also acts as a way to keep face as he never knows where could be camera. He pretends this cool collected guy, that can worm his way to getting anything (which is true) that has everything under control but in reality he’s this kinda dorky dude, that always anxious on how people perceive him and his grades. He’s an overachiever, after the initial first baby born hype died down he’s mostly known as the really smart youngest fairy in existence, he’s was an academic weapon throughout spellementary school and hs (im basing his education system off mine which is only two schools no middle 4-12 and 12-18) and came to uni with overconfidence in his educational abilities. Theres one thing thats consistent between his suave act and his actual self which is he’s petty as hell and very snarky, you can try talking him down but he’ll roast you back or give you a vaguely threatening threat. As well as being a bit prideful and vain, like he knows he’s pretty and smart and cares a lot about his appearance.

In this uni au he’ll be a bit of a static character he doesnt grow much, and struggles with demonstrating his affection or his struggles. (Which is why dev and peri dont exactly work much cause peri is overcompensating on how much coddling he got, and show affection in a more subtle way that dev doesn’t need as he need a more direct way (and heres a thought i dont think peri wouldve ever said he cared for dev unless delirious) ) . But he’s more openly affectionate with his parents cause he loves them. What he mainly goes through is humbling, he starts fairly prideful and overconfident but starts to slowly crumble from the pressure and anxiety. As in he doesnt say no to anything, hes somehow always busy or doing something, he also studies not enough and too much (crams shit in) and he also got his celebrity things to do. Another arc will be opening up to Goldie and Irep (but they'll be his only friends) cause he doesnt learn shit about how to socialise without depending on the act. He’s also easily frustrated, if things dont go in the way he wants he gets frustrated at himself, like he really put his self worth on his abilities to do things and less on who he is as a person. Like everyone praised him for his intelligence, charm, talent, magic and appearance, like he hates being coddled but he likes being praised, while irep doesnt get praised and seeks getting praised. But that doesnt change the fact he is a genuinely nice-ish person he just doesn’t like disappointing people, especially those close to him but he’s got a bit of an ego but not in a narcissistic way but in a young adult way where he doesnt exactly think for others first but for himself because he doesnt want to disappoint people. (Which is seen in battle of dimmsonian where hes more worried about being seen by his parents and his career choices then dev). Which is also why he’s a stickler to the rules, like he doesnt want people to think he’s bad person but also jorgen literally drilled it into him that breaking the rules is bad. Like he’s the type to do it right by the books, that comes from him being a bit of a people pleaser, and genuine concern of him messing up his perfect facade.

Speaking of Goldie, i would describe their relationship as fairly close. It takes a while for the either of them to open up to anything personal but they start off as friends of mutual benefits. They use eachother as study buddies, people to hang out with and to talk about their slightly weird interests. And the more they go through uni the more they will confide with each other. Like i imagine a tipping off point for their friendship is when peri finally breaks and gets like a panic attack, Goldie will be there to boost him up. Irep is also their friend but he’s in it more to best Peri or to piss him off. Irep is one of few to see through his act and knows how to break it.

Like genuinely i do think hazel and peri may be counterparts to each other like they both lost their sibling figure, both overthinks scenarios and both want to be appear more mature then they actually are. Like i want anw to be where he grows the most because he’s more challenged to question his behaviours and habits, especially with how these traits affect his and dev’s relationship for the worse.

[fictionfixations]

signature spells and the person

(referencing this list because i cant remember them all)

spoilers for all books. and glorious masquerade

(note that some characters i dont know well at all. which you can kind of tell with me being super unsure. there's this person in the reblogs who elaborated on bits i wasn't quite correct on or didnt have an idea on so go read it!)

signature spells embodying the person sort of? Riddle - collar. restriction. limitations.

Deuce - not taking hits lying down. striking back. (a reckless idiot like that)

Cater - hm.. putting on an act for everyone? people pleaser? so its like. all of those little 'acts' and 'personas' he puts on are sort of 'him' in a sense. but its also not him at the same time. (like how the clones arent actually him because they're just a creation of his magic. but they are him in a way, too right?)

trey - sneaky sneaky guy who notices a lot more than you'd think. presents himself as one way but he's complicated

Leona - sand. like all his hard work turning to sand, or basically nothing.

Jack - wolves work in packs, right? he wants to work in a pack. (even though he says he doesn't). they're strong, but they do better together. ..probably. idk.

Ruggie - treating all people 'equally' (in the sense that he'd mess with them all. unless they were a serious trouble to deal with) also sucks up to people........ (and probably laughing at them behind their back for being such a 'fool' haha get it. because fool's parade..--) maybe? Idk.

Azul - exchanging his old self for an asshole basically (because he must've been a nicer guy as a bby. but then ppl were mean to him and now he's very bitter.)

Jade - acting like the more calmer and reasonable of the twins, even though he can be just like floyd, if a bit more dangerous considering he can get under your skin, get you trust him, that he just wants to 'help you'. and you tell him all your secrets. and then it 'shocks your heart' when he reveals his true colors. (like bruh. his halloween groovification message was literally, "Oooh, I love it when you flee in terror. It makes me want to chase you!")

Floyd - i don't know. uhhh. in his lab coat(?) vignette there's this moment where a guy bumps into him, is like 'hEY WHO DO YOU--' and then realizes its floyd and backs off. basically the guy who intimidates them to make them weaker, ig? terrorizing them. 'binding the heart' in fear. i mean he'll still hurt them ofc, but the point is is that he's the scary one, jade's the 'calm' one, thats his image to people. i dont know him nearly well enough to really get it.

Kalim - wishing for everyone to be happy. to dance and sing and forget about all the troubles. throwing parties and feasts to cheer them up (and granting them relief when needed). although it doesn't always end well and his attempts can end up 'useless', like how oasis maker is 'useless' when people already have easy access to water. but at other points desperately needed.

Jamil - turning him into the 'master' and the other the 'servant'

Vil - planting 'curses' in plain sight. masking it. disguising it. acting. like putting on makeup to change something. maybe. possibly. (this is weak) maybe a false reassurance. a mask.

Epel - accepting who he is (that he's short and seen as 'cute'. and so using it to his advantage.) like, seeming 'soft and dainty' but actually a guy who can beat someone up. like, 'you'll just go to sleep..' (and then the crimson part of slumber with a negative meaning. the poison apple. something that looks innocent but is actually harmful.) and then you never wake up again because you were TRICKED HAHAHA /hj

Rook - will literally do anything for what his fixations are. in which his fixations are 'beauty', which is a very vague category and include literally everything. also very very creepy and stalker-ish in the process.

Idia - honestly idfk. uh. 'responsibility'. burdens. control. it literally just represents a part of his job? idfk. its such a big part of him (also his family had the same UM so like..) that its just. who he is.

Malleus - there was this quote he said about how 'when you nap, even 500 years could pass without you noticing'. so it could be something like how time moves by so fast like that

guh.. it was "Give in to slumber, and a thousand years will pass in the blink of an eye."

Silver - I don't know him that well... i mean like there's references to him having parallels with like. i think.. aurora?? the girl who maleficent cursed. i think. dreams and wishes. i don't know i havent even seen him use it yet LMFAO (ive only finished part 2 of book 7..) maybe like. things not seeming real..? idk man. a desire to see people, to stay by their side, but can't, so instead it'll be in a dream. so either it isn't real, a mere fantasy, or, shrug. like. yknow the remember me song in coco? it's like 'and everytime you hear a guitar you'll remember and think about me' (i cant remember the exact lyrics)

Sebek - admires malleus. a lot. malleus has control over lightning or something. so sebek in turn becomes that 'lightning' that he can control, as his guard and stuff like that. 'i will be his sword', maybe.

lilia - he reflects a lot about the past imo. overly aware of things and the passing of time. at least in my opinion. how things can pass by so easily. so he takes little bits and pieces to cherish for the rest of his life, and to think back on. a trip back down memory lane, as they say.

Rollo - literally gets set on fire like his brother..?? that thing forever haunting him that its such a big part of him at this point (hating magic and hating what happened.) and him hating himself making himself see him as part of the reason why his brother died, and therefore making him literally the thing that killed him sort of?

[dungeonmeshi-confessions]

I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.

bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!

anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu

- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.

-they both struggle with insomnia also

-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.

-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.

-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.

-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.

-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)

-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3

-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!

-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.

.

[toulouse21]

REASONS WHY I KIN LUZ NOCEDA SO MUCH (and maybe you do too, just didn't realize it)

(from minor things until deep things)

- first of all she is a huge geek nerd that likes cosplay and anime, like the main audience of this show

- spontaneous and easily excited with anything

- her friends probably call her "the sun of the group"

- latina

- she likes otters!

- she loves shipping

- gay panicks to all the genders

- she likes fantasy books with complicated side stories

- she became a writer at the end of the show

- a simp.

- she falls in love with a cute witch with colorfoul hair, honestly who wouldn't?

- Luz uses fiction to scape reality, and that's like SO OBVIOUS that even her must realize it too, but if you notice it, at human realm that is what keep her going without drowning in a possible depression. She had no friends there, she had nothing other than her mother (wich she was very lucky to be an amazing one) and her fantasy books. Yeah she probably knew her obssesion with fiction was too much, but she had no other thing to focus

- I think the owl house was the only piece of media I ever seen that pictured the feeling of "growing up as the weird kid" so perfectly. Generally the main characther is a nerd who has no friends and is bullied, but it never has a reason for them to not have any friends (not a reason like "oh they are so irritanting, that's why they don't have any friends", no, a reason like "they are seen as weird because they are VERY different from the rest of school, wich scare people away, and that's why they don't have any friends. It's not their fault at all". The second case is literally luz' case).

You see, Luz always had so much imagination, and she tried to show it the most she could to other people, I think she did it because she thought "Im gonna be myself, and someone will like me.... Probably". That scene in third season, of Camila remembering things, when little Luz shows the snake's pajamas to the other kids, she clearly did that because it was a subject she was SO interested in, she wanted to share it with the other children, they would find it interesting too and would want to be her friends, right? And then the kids ran away screaming, and she didn't get why

- When Camila wanted to send her to that camp, oh my titan my girl was so sad. When she dropped azura's book on trash, honestly I think that was so.... Meaningful. That book is so important to her, obviously because it was her father's gift, BUT it's even more than that, it's the whole symbol of her personality, the one little thing she loves so much, she stayed on boiling isles only to have a chance to live something slightly similar to what she always dreamed with.

When she throws Azura on the trash in front of Camila she is basically saying "don't worry mom, I will finally stop. I will stop trying to make friends by being what I am, because that clearly didn't and will never work out. I am going to throw all that I am away, so I can be normal like everybody wants". Getting Azura back isn't JUST for the plot, it symbolizes how Luz isn't ready to gave up from herself yet.

- In boiling isles Luz feels like she is in home, we all know that, but if you look closer, you will see it was there she become a people pleaser. In my interpretation, Luz is so happy she finally find a place where she has friends, a second mother figure, a brother figure, and people LIKE her (well most of them, except for bosha and stuff), she is so not used to it, she doesn't know what to do. People liking her so much as she likes them is so perfect she wants to do anything to not change that, that's why she sacrifices herself in a lot of situations in a lot of different ways for the people she loves.

If you dont think she is a people pleaser, let me remind you: when she made Amity loose her job at the library, Luz came back to there, faced all the challenges that creepy boss had for her, just to get Amity's card back. Eda told her explicity to not do any mess with the house while she was out, but Luz invited Gus and Willow to there anyway, only because Willow was too excited about that moon ritual, she prefers face the consequences of desobbeing eda than make her new friends slightly disappointed (probably because she thinks that if she commits any mistake, they will abandon her).

- In my point of view, her obssesion in befriending every enemy that crosses her also relates with the fact she is a people pleaser. I can be projecting (like all the rest of this text lol), but I have a strange wish that everyone on earth likes me, not only the people I like, but also the people I hate, I want everyone to find me at least a little nice or else Im not happy. Wich means I am never truly happy, because that is Impossible to happen

For what Im concerned, people pleasers think like that generally, so Luz probably thinks like that too

- Ok the puppet scene of the third season, I saw a lot of people joking with "Luz realized that wasn't amity because she wasn't autistic enough lollll", yes I know, but that scene is so deep for me oh lord. Her worst fear is to be abandoned by her friends, the people she would die for, when she sees it happening in front of her, she doesn't even think "wait this looks weird, this doesn't look like my friends at all...", no, her head doesn't even suggest that, because in Luz' mind, that scenario it's what she deserves, the "weird" situation is the actual reality, where none of her friends hate her, she doesn't understand why they don't.

Luz realized they were all puppets because Amity mistoke an Azura's quote, not because all that incredible people were being mean to her, because she thinks she doesn't deserve any of them.

- Also in third season, my favourite scene of all time, the one that made me cry, when I heard Luz saying that, I finally realized what I needed this whole time: "The only thing I've ever really wanted.... Was to be understood"

(YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS TOUCHED ME, SERIOUSLY, AHHWHWHWHAIAJAHAHAHQBWH)

This quote is SO SO SO SO SO MEANINGFUL, OH MY TITAN. Not even Luz understood herself, do you guys get that? She didn't know why she just couldn't be normal like all the other kids on school, she didn't understand why she insisted so much on being herself when all that did was to cause her suffering. But when Camila said "my biggest mistake was trying to change you", she finally realized why she never gave up of herself: because there was nothing wrong with her.

She is not a bad person, she is nothing like belos or whoever, she deserves to receive as much as she offers to everyone, she doesn't need to think inside the box, she can continue to be weird forever and there is nothing wrong with that. For us that's all pretty obvious, but for her it's like a dream that came true to finally realize that.

The main reason why this cartoon is my favourite is because of Luz. I feel really connected to her (if that makes sense), that's why Im so obsessed with her. At the finale, she ends up capable of balancing her "boring life" of human realm with boiling isles, that makes me fill up with hope that maybe one day I find happiness at my "boring life" in here, while balancing it with fiction in a healthy way.

Luz is the best main characther of all time and I will never be convinced otherwise.

[hawthornesbiggestfan]

this is my 3rd alisa post, but who tf cares.

here are songs that remind me of her and why! (mostly taylor swift but u should've seen that coming)

1. you're losing me (from the vault) by taylor swift.

“and i wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her„

tell me thats not alisa. tell me alisa doesn't feel insecure bcs of how her relationship w nash ended. tell me she isnt a people pleaser who does every for the validation of others. go on, ill give you time.

2. right where you left me by taylor swift.

“help, im still at the restaurant, still sitting in the corner i haunt, cross-legged in the dim light, they say 'what a sad sight'„

other than grayson, alisa is probably another tig character who's still stuck in the past. just like how grayson still thinks abt emily, im sure alisa still thinks abt nash. u can see it in the way she acts arnd him or when shes talking abt him. she is literally right where he left her!!!

3. champagne problems by taylor swift.

“she could've made such a lovely bride, it's a shame she's fucked in the head„

i have a major hc that alisa used to get a lot of hate before, during, and after being together with nash. ppl probl gossiped abt how the break up was her fault and everything. its probl one of the reasons why alisa is so salty abt it.

4. midnight rain by taylor swift

“he was sunshine, i was midnight rain, he wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain„

nash wanted to leave 'everything hawthorne' behind and get comfortably married, alisa wanted her career and her job to tobias hawthorne. she knew it was be painful, she knew what it costed, but she did it for her job. she did it for herself!!!

5. your best american girl by mitski

“your mother wouldn't approve of how my mother raised me, but i do, i finally do, you're an all-american boy, i guess i couldn't help trying to be the best american girl„

smth i realized a lot of ppl forgot (or just dont know in general) is that alisa wasnt white. yk how xander kinda expressed that being the only coloured hawthorne had its difficulty cz people never considered him like his brother? i bet it was the same for alisa. i bet that she always felt like she wasnt good enough to be a hawthorne's wife bcs she was black and ppl were constantly racist.

6. the only heartbreaker by mitski

“but i think for as long as we're together, i'll be the only heartbreaker„

can we talk abt how throughout the entire series, alisa was blamed for a lot of things? to the point where she even blamed herself for getting kidnapped? the poor lady was so used to being at fault, she even took blame for a situation that could've gotten her killed? everything that she did was legal and extremely reasonable according to law, bcs idk if u remember, she was a lawyer...?? people act like she purposely did things for the sake of doing it. the girls doing her job!! let her live!!!

7. cedar by gracie abrams

“breaking up is funny, i forget you aren't mine„

does this need explanation? i think it was obvious that alisa felt jealous in some parts when she saw libby n nash together, can u blame her tho? no. no you cant.

making this post made me kind sad. i could go on and on abt alisa ortega. feel free to message me if u wanna talk abt lee-lee, cz i legit love her sm.

🎀

[fairycosmos]

Do you struggle with wanting external validation sometimes ? i do lol it’s an evil thing in society i know as some folks call it attention whoring but i think people can’t see that if you were treated badly by your family it’s hard to validate yourself , stick up for yourself sometimes

definitely and you know what i think most people do to some extent / at some point in their lives. like we are literally raised and also instinctively built to form bonds with (and seek approval from) our peers lollll we r social creatures sadly </3 it's this weird thing where we all collectively crave and desire attention or intimacy or care on some level while also cringing away from people who chase it - maybe for good reason in a lot of cases, laser focusing on gaining attention can be just as toxic as denying yourself it entirely - but i don't think it's this inherently Evil thing we're taught to act like it is. and omg literally like dont even get me started on how childhood abuse can play such a major role in that and in the way we form bonds. i was raised to be a people pleaser to some degree and it still fucks me up in like. 80% of the interactions i ever have. anyway sorry to ramble i just don't think you should beat yourself up for struggling with this! the world is built to prey on our natural fear of rejection. also think you should know that building self-esteem and self-compassion is a process that can co-exist with desiring intimacy and connection with others. hugs. x

[pespillo]

unpopular opinion:

i dont think Philip "im gonna spend the next 100 years building an overly complex bureocratic system of covens to force witches into a million types of rules and permits to even try doing magic the way I Need them to , just to kill them easier in the long run" Wittebane, was a "troublemaker" in his childhood, or even like, outcasted in the community, in fact i think he was a people pleaser and a strict follower of teachings, but just fidgety and more interested in getting his hands on things rather than word alone.

i feel like this fandom misinterprets the child Philip as some sort of devilish kid who weirded people out and only had his brother but like, everyone forgets that the child Philip we see in Hollow Mind its literally a ruse, like , a trick to lower Luz n Hunter´s guard! the "curious and virtuous and studious" Philip Wittebane persona he put on the journal Luz comes across is waaaay closer to the real Philip than this idea of the child that plays in the mud type of thing. In fact i think kid Philip was the "hmm kids must like rules and authority!" kid like Hunter is .

[emoevanafton]

Talking about why garrosh hellscream is innocent, because i am a garrosh supremacist and i want to talk about it :)

And also to educate the uneducated people who believe he isn’t misunderstood. I hope to educate you on this subject :]

(Please scroll away if you dont wanna listen to a big long rant :) and constructive criticism is very welcome! Give me one valid reason as to why Garrosh is a bad person after reading this, i dare you)

⚠️WOW SPOILERS AHEAD⚠️

1. Childhood:

Garrosh grew up in draenor, living with his dad (Grommash) and moved away to Nagrand at a young age due to a redpox outbreak, which was a deadly disease that killed hundreds of orcs. Garrosh was quite depressed during his time in nagrand, as the group of orcs he lived with saw his dad as someone who brought a curse apon their people, by drinking the blood of a pit lord called mannaroth. Garrosh felt ashamed of his father’s actions and did not want to take up the leadership of his people, he stated that he would rather die than be a leader. He did not want to become like his dad and was terrified that this would happen.

Thrall, who was a good friend to Grommash, visited garrosh after his death and told him about the heroic acts he had done for his people, and how Garrosh should not be ashamed of his legacy, motivating Garrosh and encouraging him to join the horde and live on azeroth.

Grommash was never really present in Garrosh’s life, and neither was his mum, who died a few months(it is hinted?) After he was born. This could contribute to his later actions and how he sees different people in his life, for example, he looks up to Thrall as a father figure and the way he acts is highly influenced by the people around him.

All throughout garrosh’s childhood, he was in a state of depression. This did not clear off until the beginning of the cataclysm expansion, when he was made warchief by thrall, but I personally believe he just learnt to mask it, and cover it with aggression. But that is a rant for a different day :)

2. Personality:

Garrosh has an arrogant and confident personality, however this is actually proven to be Garrosh’s way of hiding his negative emotions, hr is always shown to be VERY insecure, possibly due to not having his parents around when he was younger. he is also shown to be a people pleaser due to him wanting to make his people happy, and always trying to impress those around him, even his enemies. On the other hand he has also been shown to have a caring and loyal side to him, he sticks by anyone who does the same for him. He is also empathetic as we see in the stonetalon mountains questline, where he shows anger against Krom’gar for bombing a peaceful tauren village.

Garrosh also dislikes it when things do not go his way, he always wants to do things his way, and is quite immature for his age (again due to not having a proper childhood bc of parents)

He also has problems controlling his anger (alot like his dad) and will not hesitate to shout and attack close friends, it they disagree with or disrespect him. Garrosh does not like to be looked down apon either.

And as we see during Mists of pandaria expansion, he will quite literally do anything to get what he wants.

3.Orc culture and politics in Draenor:

Orcs as a species have a very war- like culture, they live in large clans who all compete for territory and resources. If they do not do this, they will die, Its that simple. The ideas on fighting, murder, etc depends on the clan, so it is hard to say what orcs as a whole think on these subjects, other than what is and isn’t honourable. Orcs are very honour-driven, and this is a large factor of their culture. In Draenor, there is also someit isn’t as frowned upon to kill and innocent from the opposing clan as it would be in Azeroth, as their idea is that ‘the innocent could grow up and potentially be a threat in the future.’ As Garrosh himself mentions in his convo with Varok Saurfang during a meeting: and i quote “But surely you cannot think that those children were born into innocence? They would have grown up and taken arms against us!”

The murder of innocents in Draenor is not taken as seriously as it would be in Azeroth. As the politics are completely different.

Why am I speaking about this in particular you might ask? Because Garrosh GREW UP with these ideas, so he understandably would run things the way it would be done in Draenor, he didn’t know any better, no one told him about the politics in Azeroth, Thrall couldn’t help him-

HE EVEN SAYS , AS THRALL WAS MAKING HIM WARCHIEF THAT HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW THE POLITICS IN AZEROTH WORKED, AND YET THRALL STILL MADE HIM SEEM LIKE THE SCUM OF HE EARTH FOR NOT KNOWING??

4.Thrall being an arsehole:

Thrall plays a major role in why Garrosh did the things he did, and I’ll keep bringing it up time and time again. Thrall decided to leave Garrosh (who at the time was unwilling to take up the role) as warchief, while he went to Nagrand to sort out the elementals, as he felt something was wrong with them. He did this while the Horde was in the middle of a Crisis, and people were starving and almost dying of dehydration, due to Deathwing attack on Azeroth, and the horde having no available resources after repairing their capital city. Thrall left Garrosh to deal with all of this when it should’ve been a more mature leader, such as himself, Cairne, Voljin, or maybe even Baine. So, Ultimately it was Thrall who allowed everything Garrosh did, to happen, Garrosh was not his only option and had said he did not want to be the warchief, he knew he wasnt fit for this role just yet. He is not a diplomat yet thrall expects him to be one.

Garrosh knew that the horde needed resources, and thought about attacking ashenvale, the tauren living there had seen an orc attacking nearby and thought it was because of garrosh, however this was not the case, it was a different orc clan (twilight hammer) who had nothing to do with him. They told Cairne (chieftain of the Tauren at the time) who challenged Garrosh to a duel. Garrosh had his weapon ‘blessed’ by an enemy of Cairne called magirtha grimtotem, who actually poisoned Garroshs weapon instead. Garrosh was unaware of this and killed Cairne by accident.

4.opinions of others

Because Garrosh had accidentally killed Cairne, the people of the horde saw him as a traitor and did not have great opinions of him, despite this being in no way his fault. He dueled Cairne to protect his honour, as in Draenor the loser of a Duel (mak’gora) is either killed, or exiled from their clan. Garrosh knew this.

Peoples opinions of garrosh only worsened after he manabombed Theremore. This made garrosh feel quite betrayed in a way.

Alot of people also bring up the fact that garrosh threatened to kill voljin, and held hatred against him and other non orcs. Garrosh felt threatened by them. Wanna know why?

Authough thrall had said to garrosh that he could go to Voljin for help, when he needed said help, who was there for him? NO ONE.

The only one who was minorly there for him was baine, that is why garrosh seems friendly with the Tauren, he is friendly to anyone who wishes to stand with him. He was friendly with the pandaren and welcomed them happily until they sided with the alliance, (and disagreed with the whole Yashaarj situation, but ill talk about that later.)

Garrosh felt threatened by voljin, he gave him empty death threats to his face and expected him to take it? Garrosh gave him similar death threats back, demanding that he left the city, and guess what? Garrosh was the only one being seen as the ‘bad guy’ in this situation for being threatened. Garrosh booted voljin (and the trolls) out of Orgrimmar completely. And put their island under martial laws. This was only really because voljin had quite literally just threatened treason on him, And dont give me the “Oh but garrosh is bias because he favors orcs more than the other horde races!” No he is not. He treats anyone (in this case, trolls) who decides to side against him with the same respect they give him. He favors orcs, yes, but understand that THEY ARE HIS OWN PEOPLE, OF COURSE HE WOULD TRUST THEM MORE! Why would he give protection and respect to people who dont give the same in return?

(I am not trying to justify Garrosh committing war crimes here, it is a war crime whether you like it or not, but there was reasons for this, therefore it can be excused if you do not look at it from a moral perspective)

The bombing of theremore was very strategically smart!

The bombing of Theremore was not a sudden attack as some people think. The horde and alliance had been fighting over theremore for WEEKS ON END. And the innocent had been given plenty of time to flee. Garrosh knew that this was a smart thing to do, and because of the culture he was raised in, he probably did not know how angry HIS OWN PEOPLE would be if he decided to bomb theremore. As we know, the bombing of theremore is what started off the darkspear revolution, a rebellion against garrosh lead by Voljin. Thrall also became a big part of this revolution. Garrosh was seen as evil once again BY HIS OWN PEOPLE (or who he thought were his people) and in retaliation to this, he created a ‘new horde’. Even though it was Voljin and Thrall who started a revolution in the first place; they turned their backs on Garrosh when he probably needed the most support at the time.

He probably trusted Malkorok the most at this time, along with Nazgrim, they were both loyal to Garrosh and stuck by him no matter what, they (specifically malkorok) killed people who disagreed with garrosh’s actions, as they did not want him to be hurt.

5.pandaren artifacts are powerful and Garrosh wanted to put them to good use.

Garrosh knew that the pandaren artifacts

Were powerful, and wanted to put them to good use, for the benefit of his own people, the people that sided with him, the people who didn’t decide to stab him in the back, so that they could rid Azeroth from the alliance (which was his ultimate goal). Garrosh was smart for doing this, he used the heart of Yashaarj to collect power from it and use it to his advantage.

(This is still up for debate but ive seen people mention it, so I’ll bring it up briefly.)

The heart of Yashaarj, just like any old god related artifact, will corrupt the mind of the user. Garrosh, being as insecure as he is, was effected by this, the heart of Yashaarj specifically is like a really demotivating audio hallucination. Saying things like “no one is coming to save you..”

now imagine how Garrosh might’ve felt having stuff like that repeated to him over and over again? Not fun.

6.Thrall is an arsehole, the seaquel!

After Garroshs trial, he was deemed innocent by the august celestrials. But before this was announced to him, he was taken to an alternative reality of draenor by a member of the bronze dragonflight, to prove his worth and stop the legion invasion. He does not do this because he wanted to see his dad, he doe’s however, warn his dad about mannaroths blood, and what it will bring if he does decide to drink it, This was effective and we end up with a alternate reality where grommash does not drink Mannaroth’s blood, woop woop!

So Garrosh lived quite peacefully in Nagrand again, with his dad, he probably felt happy for once in his life; at peace. While he was doing this, the iron horde had started to invade azeroth, possibly manipulated by guldan. Their goal was to use guldans power to hold the portal open, so they could invade and take more land for their people. This is just what orcs do, as ive said before.

Thrall hears of this and Immediately thinks it is garrosh who is doing this. Despite him having nothing to do with the attack. (apart from being a part of the iron horde?) Thrall and others go through the dark portal to stop the attack, fair enough right? They managed to destroy the portal and stop the attack, and he could’ve stopped right there, there was nothing wrong with that.

Thrall decided to find and kill Garrosh, even though he had been minding his own business, in nagrand with this clan, where he actually felt welcomed and appreciated; something he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Thrall manages to track down garrosh in nagrand, finds him, and challenges him to a Mak’gora, a traditional orc duel where the rules are as follows:

1. No body armour worn

2. Only 1 weapon should be used

3. Each participant must have at least 1 whitness

The Mak’gora took place at the throne of the elements, Thrall chose to have it there on purpose. There was no witnesses, and as far as i know nobody lived nearby.

The fight starts off a fair one, apart from the lack of witnesses. Garrosh seems to be winning and thrall, knowing he would die, decided to be an absolute coward and cheat. Garrosh, while this fight was happening seems clearly hurt by what thrall has done to him, mentally. He is hurt by the fact that Thrall put him in a high ranking position that he did not want to be in, in the first place, he sees Thrall as nothing but a traitor; and so he should.

Thrall uses the elements against Garrosh, forcing him down so he is unable to attack, or defend himself, he then dismisses Garrosh’s upset, by stating that he was the one who brought it apon himself- Thrall kills garrosh, leaving his body there.

Thrall manages to break Every. Single. Rule.

It was an unfair fight from the start, There was a reason there was no witnesses, so that Thrall could paint himself in a good light. He was wearing (what looks like) full body armour, and used id say about 4 different weapons? Elemental powers count as weapons.

Thrall must’ve known how a Mak’gora works, considering he is an orc. There is no excuse for it, the fact that he chose to have the fight in a discrete location just proves my point, why would he do that other than to dishonourably murder Garrosh? It was a dishonourable kill however you look at it, because of the nature of the Fight.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 2/5

Book blurb:

Unforgettable, snarky, and romantic, I Hope This Doesn't Find You is Never Have I Ever meets To All the Boys I've Loved Before if Lara Jean wrote hate emails instead of love letters.

Sadie Wen is perfect on paper: school captain, valedictorian, and a "pleasure to have in class." It’s not easy, but she has a trick to keep her model-student smile plastered on her face at all times: she channels all her frustrations into her email drafts. She'd never send them of course -- she'd rather die than hurt anyone's feelings -- but it's a relief to let loose on her power-hungry English teacher or a freeloading classmate taking credit for Sadie's work.

All her most vehemently worded emails are directed at her infuriating cocaptain, Julius Gong, whose arrogance and competitive streak have irked Sadie since they were kids. "You're attention starved and self-obsessed and unbearably vain . . . I really hope your comb breaks and you run out of whatever expensive hair products you've been using to make your hair appear deceptively soft . . ."

Sadie doesn't have to hold back in her emails, because nobody will ever read them . . . that is, until they're accidentally sent out.

Overnight, Sadie’s carefully crafted, conflict-free life is turned upside down. It's her worst nightmare -- now everyone at school knows what she really thinks of them, and they're not afraid to tell her what they really think of her either. But amidst the chaos, there's one person growing to appreciate the "real" Sadie -- Julius, the only boy she's sworn to hate . . . .

Review:

Rival academics with a touch of To All the Boys I've Loved Before in this story about a girl who's emails about her rival and the entire school are sent... and now she has to deal with the fall out of it as well as possibly falling for the one guy she never thought she would. For 10 years Sadie Wen and Julius Gong have been competing against each other. They've made everyone at school's life a bit difficult with their extreme need to beat each other. Sadie hates Julius, she hates how perfect he is, how handsome he is, how smart and mean he is. The only way to vent her angry? Draft up emails to him and everyone else whenever they make her angry... except now suddenly all those emails have been sent out. Now everyone is getting to see the real Sadie, and the careful "perfect" image of herself is going up in flames. Yet one person seems to appreciate the real her... and it's none other than Julius. The more Julius and Sadie begin to talk to each other after the truth is revealed the more complicated the feelings begin to grow and Sadie is starting to realize that maybe the boy she's been obsessively trying to beat... the one person who is constantly on her mind might be the perfect person for her. This one was meh for me, I had really high hopes for it but it kind of fell flat unfortunately. I just couldn't really vibe with Sadie and the situations she ended up in just didn't make sense. Sadie is suppose to be super intelligent but can't even keep a diary or oh I dont know, a word doc of letters but saved a ton of draft emails and then doesn't make sure that they are properly locked up and can't be sent? I don't believe it. Also she goes from being outspoken and to being walked over by people, she'll want to out do Julius but never speaks out about people using her and letting herself be a pushover to please people? Pick a lane girl, either you can stand up for yourself and are a go getter or a timid people pleaser. Also the romance with Julius barely even felt there and I love academical rivals to lovers stories. It literally barely happens by the end of the book. I wish I liked this book more, it had the elements of all the things I usually love, but it just missed the mark for me sadly. If you enjoy academic rivals to lovers give this one a go, maybe you'll have a better time with it than I did.

*Thanks Netgalley and Scholastic, Scholastic Press for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[shytastemakerthing]

hii!! U seem so cool- but anyway,, could i get a twisted wonderland match up? My grammar kinda sucks and my auto corrects off so😭

I would like for it to be more romantic, if thats ok! Also pls dont match me up with any of the 1st years since i would honestly just adopt them in twst😭

Sooo im an enfp 7w6, scorpio, green flag.. Yeahhh

But other than that,, (about to write a whole essay abt my personality) what abt my personality?

Soo im honestly kindaa uhm,, goldfish-like; i have a crap memory. and whenever in a serious situation, one where you need to stay on guard, i instantly calm down after someone cracks a joke and forget abt the whole situation.. So bcuz of that i get called "the goldfish of (gc name)" 🥲

But im really motherly and caring! I always take care of my loved ones like a nurse, so pretty much- im my friends personal nurse AND doctor (as someone who startes studying abt medical stuff when i was like 10,, young, ik) i also take care of stray animals whenever i get the chance. feeding them, taking care of their wounds, whatever! Im a good balance of childish and mature, though i fall more on the childish side! I honestly give out 'sad, wet cat' vibes at first, since i mostly spend time alone, sulking abt being alone, reading in the library alone.. but im the total opposite! Honestly kinda weird but in a good way? Super kind, and generous, and sympathetic, i always consider other peoples feelings first ofc! Honestly kind of a people pleaser🥲 softhearted person with anger issues huhu.. Also keyword 'with anger issues' because i can and will beat someone up who did one simple thing to make me mad, even if theyre like 6'2 IDGAF FIGHT ME IM 5'10 ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE🙄🙄 veryvery energetic or the opposite, depends. havent slept for like 2 weeks straight😇

Now I'll just say the exact words my friends said when i asked them what they thought of me-

"funny, cute, and she lavs astronomy ahhajaja" "ure the friend whos effortlessly funny but gay /j but srsly youre the friend whos funny but super girlboss whenever there are fights and uses emojis every sentence they send" "the fish i ate for dinner" "cute nmn, and fun too, but annoying sometimes😒" "youre literally just like your father but as a girl,, stubborn, charming, ignorant, brave.. And you even have the same facial feaures." "Soft girl vibes" "VOODOO DOLL SELLER IKAW"

And for my hobbies.. I have a lot tbh LEMME JUST-

Astronomy; stargazing.. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH PEACE OMG

Exploring; going to abandoned and apparently 'haunted' places brings me so much joy somehow

Dancing; practicing ballet but my friends drag me to learn the choreo of a kpop song😭

Singing; opera😻

Sports; BADMINTON, BASKETBALL, SOCCER, VOLLEYBALSLSMSJKAHSKXVJSDJ LOBVE THIS

Gaming; tbh i rarely do it anymore😭

Collecting; plushies, seashells, etc..

Art; SCULPTING, DIGITAL, TRADITIONAL, MUSIC, ETC. I CAN DO IT ALL OMGG

Thats all i think😔 I dont wanna waste ur time so thank you huhuu BYEE HAVE A GREAT YEAR MWAMWA

-lav hoshii

Hello and thank you for your request! Honestly I had a lot of fun reading over this and I believe I have just the guy for you so here we go!

I match you with.......

Floyd Leech

🦐 You two bounce off of each other so freaking much that it is insane. At this point, you're the most interesting person in his life and he isn't planning on letting you go ANY time soon and that's a fact.

🦐 Floyd is someone who butts heads with a lot of people, and I mean, a LOT of people. He's not one to shy away from a fight, even in those ones where he is clearly out numbered. It's more fun for him. But what he really loves is how you patch him up after each and every one. Sure, you badger him about all of these fights, but it's only because you care about him, and as you place a kiss to each wrap and bandaid, he can only hopelessly grin at you...... he is smitten.

🦐 Your memory isn't the best, and while Floyd seems like the aloof type, he is actually very smart, very perceptive, and has an excellent memory. He will remember anything you can't and it greatly comes in handy when needed.

🦐 Being with Floyd, also means you will be seeing a lot of Jade. Sorry, they're a two for one package deal (Azul's words). And while his twin was highly skeptical of you at first (when is he not skeptical of someone?), just seeing you with Floyd, and all the shenanigans you both get up too and how you always take care of him, you're basically family now at this point.

🦐 He is in the basketball club! Which is perfect for you! You love basketball and you two have player 1v1 quite a lot. Just be careful, because he can and WILL get competitive. Also, if you wear his jersey to his games, he has this derpy smile the entire time and will be showing off just for you. He turns into an absolute beast on the court. You're now the good luck charm of the NRC basketball team and Ace and Jamil always make sure you're there.

🦐 He finds out early on in the relationship about your habit of collecting sea shells. Now, because of him that collection has expanded a great amount. Look, you're dating a merman, he can and will be going under the water to gather the best and biggest shells thay he can find for your ccollection. But your personal favorite is a little cream colored chipped clam shell. He brought that one back after finding it randomly on a walk and it is now the most cherished one in the collection.

🦐 The way your mood fluctuates matches how his does, and while it annoyed him at first (like, is this how Jade and Azul feel when his does that?), he was able to quickly find out what can set you off or change your mood and is able to quickly adjust accordingly. Though he will admit that you look pretty hot when you get angry and tackle someone twice your size.

🦐 He would absolutely love to go exploring with you. It can be boring, it can be dangerous, so much could happen that you just don't know and that's what makes it exciting! If you ever get bored of looking at the supposedly haunted houses, he'll happily supply a breathing potion and he can show you some really cool shipwrecks!

🦐 Overall, a relationship with the reckless eel with legs is nothing short of an adventure. You know you'll never be bored, he loves how considerate you are with him and how you take care of him. And Azul and Jade are beyond thankful that you can actually get him to focus on his work, only if you're there, though 😅

[yourwolfmuzzle]

I thinking about this shit for a whole day for no reasons so i need to talk about this, otherwise it will stuck in my brain forever as a non answered question - Are we kinda continue this whole “characters reaction was wrong\right in this situation” and kinda “angry wemen” situation that we have in this show?

So...this whole story started because “evil wemen” react "wrongly” and transform into literally witch and evil immortal “god-like” person. We have a lot of fem characters, who have “wrong reaction” and transform into antagonist of this story (and i also will count characters who then get they “redemption” one way and another). Even if we have characters, who is in “good side”, like Yang, who openly can be angry and go into “emotion side” is not in character story fully or this part of they character got change or end pretty soon (Yang whole “think before act” kinda end in vol6 and from what i can tell, she kinda now mix of “i sometime acting before thinking” but now its portrait as a “haha funny moment” at least in vol9? And she also now got in her character description “she scare looking one” and i dont know where its coming from but anyway this post is not about sudden character description changes that is not sounding like “character evolving”.).

And...in vol9 we have Ruby, who pretty much have a depression and kinda PTSD stuff going on after all stuff that was happening in vol7-8. We going to skip this part that she and her team partly in wrong, but anyway - this is what we got in this volume. And when she openly starts to express all her accumulated emotions and anger about this - everybody was not was to trying to support her or talk with her. Even worse - just when she start to express her anger, the other main character started shutting her up. They let Jaune to express his emotion about loosing paper pleasers, who he was trying to protect for who know how long and support him in the next-next episode, but not Ruby. Ruby not only did not get support or at least some talk about all this, but she kinda after this got “punished” by other “angry evil female character”. And after “walking in the tree” she got her problems “fix” and only after THAT she got her some sort of support in for of “friendship hug”.

Only after she “not angry anymore” and “not depress anymore” she got her support. She react “wrongly” about her trauma, got “fix” and only after she transform into flawless hero she got her support from people, who she was venting only a couple episode ago. Adult Jaune received support and group hugs while Ruby was in the process of “fixing her emotions and discovering perfect form of herself”. Only after you not “angry wemen anymore” you can get some support...or if you not Yang.

(thank you to coming into my another “why de fuck they treat Ruby like this in this volume” talk)

[birdcagekins]

do u have a favourite ghost and pals song?:3

OH that's such a hard question :0

i think for Themeing:tm: it's gotta be Honey I'm Home or Appetite of a People Pleaser because they both fit so many fandoms and interests of mine so well??

but for Sound i'd have to go with End-World Normopathy or Spider on the Wall . i dont know what ghost put in the chorus of SotW but it makes me go rahgrgrahrgahr whenever it hits

also all 3 of qualia automata r fucking bangers, but musically i actually like RBB the least even tho i'm . tamari . EWN with its weird metal noises and choir sounds literally is what my aesthetic sounds like, and Lamentations is SO satisfying the way it builds up throughout the song, and i still really LIKE rbb its just . it keeps going back down to being quiet for long stretches after being really loud and i go :( why no stay loud

[deceptive-daydreams]

im just rambling, this is like my diary so i just put it here

i feel like genuinely no one around me understands the mental turmoil i am going through. i cannot walk around my house rn because its a mess and my mind literally won't allow it to be that way but its such a mess that i can't really do it all by myself without melting down and hyperventiliating. each time i try i have to lock myself in my room because i get to overwhelmed/overstimulated. there's a light in the kitchen that constantly flickers and it's enough to send me over the edge and i never wanna go in that room again.

i am not diagnosed but after doing lieral hours and hours of research this past year i heavily identify with autism spectrum disorder, it's the only thing that has made sense. i still feel shitty for "self diagnosing" even tho i know its an important part of the community cause not everyone has access to a diagnosis (i do not at this time). my family dont really take it seriously when i say that i think i am autistic and it really burns me out. basically it kinda feels like they're almost like "oh that can't be!" or like because autism presents differently in girls it feels like they're like "you can't have it, not possible". like my mom said she had some kind of "testing" done before I was even born to check if there were any disorders i guess? idk i think it uses dna to see what your child could possibly have if anything. But because she said that i didn't show up with anything that she doesn't think i have it. it's fucking draining because its almost like everyone thinks its a bad thing which it's really not??? yeah there are things that aren't the best that come with it but there's also things that make me, me.

anyway i find it super annoying that my mom rejects this because all my life i have only presented as autistic, basically. like ever since i can remember i have been stimming, i have always been shy and always felt like i was trying to fit in and act like a human, i've always had meltdowns over certain tasks, i have always needed some kind of routine, i can't even drive a car without having some kind of freak out. because no one believes me, i still feel like i'm psyching myself out and that im not valid.

i think i've finally hit full burnout because this christmas i just...didn't care. i did my best but i just don't care anymore. if no one else cares then i don't care. it sucks cause im such a people pleaser and i feel myself slowly getting mean with everyone but its like....y'all kinda did that to me so...

[skaardd]

sometimes life is a little weird

I wish I practiced expressing how I feel in words more

Even though something ended, and probably for the better it is still weird.

Its weird to spend a great deal of time, years with someone

Going on long walks together, traveling, drinking, eating, playing games, celebrating holidays, studying, watching movies together for it to just end

It's weird because I will be reminded of the times spent with this person, and I will just be like melancholic. I know that you were not the one meant for me, and I was definitely not the one meant for you, but I still get kinda weird feelings sometimes. Just because we spent so much time and experiences together so of course it will get weird at times when I am reminded of you.

It's kind of like I lost a friend. But it's weird because I don't think we were actually good friends to each other. I think I was good to you 96% of the time, and you it was 50/50. I can't lie, you tried to love me at one point. you spent a lot of time trying to do things for me. But I dont think it was actual love ever. I don't think we ever had a deep connection. you know that. we tried at one point... or I did rather. It's my fault for starting off things weird. but I think if we were really meant to be, we couldn't help but be in love with each other right off the bat.

Anyway, I am still confused by the entire situation at times. I am ok about it 97% of the time, but 3% of the time I get little reminders of your existence. you had an abrupt official leave from my life, but I think we both knew it was happening over time. I kept trying to keep things together, and you were confusing as fuck. I feel bad in general about it. Im sorry for being so abrupt on you. But then I remember the few weeks where you literally told me apparent? lies. You said to my face we cant be together, my parents will never accept you, and *thats* why. Then this story changed to - its not my parents its actually how I feel, I cant be with "someone" like you. Then it changed to - I actually lied about my parents completely. they never said a thing about you. they never had a problem with you. its just me.

It's like you search for issues/problems. Maybe you feel comfortable that way. It's like thats all you ever knew, so if things aren't chaotic you will fill that void in by creating chaos yourself.

Tonight is the first night since you told me I cant study outside that I am studying outside, late at night. It felt so weird to go back out after 7 and go to SBU to study. It kinda feels like I am doing something wrong by being here. I changed a lot of myself to appease you. I noticed that I became more of a pushover, and more submissive or agreeable with people. Timid, and not as ambitious, more laid back, more careless, less driven, and more people pleaser as I was with you. Thats not good. I feel like I am regaining who I am back again.

I am sad that I hurt you. But you kinda hurt me more. In my opinion, a good relationship is really built on a strong foundation thats created by a good man. I am not saying youre not good, but you know that you didnt display the best version of yourself when you were with me.

anyway, I am just experiencing these feelings and I wanted to say them out loud.