#not even 'hate' per say maybe just envious of kids with good lives

[todayisafridaynight]

How is Mine as a husband? Or do we only see him as a dad?

hold up which one of yall is seein him as a dad ????? 😭

[nagipops]

KONOHA ELEVEN IN A ZOOM CLASS!

FEATURING: naruto, sakura, shikamaru, ino, choji, hinata, kiba, shino, neji, rock lee, and tenten

WARNINGS: mentions of food

NARUTO

definitely has forgotten that he was unmuted multiple times

or his camera was accidentally turned on

you could just see him sprawled on his bed with a bowl of instant ramen on his lap and a blanket wrapped around himself

EARRAPE SLURPS!! rip headphone users.

sometimes he notices that his camera’s turned on and you can see him freak out and scramble to turn it off

but he accidentally unmutes himself too and so you just hear panicked yelling

his device topples to the floor with a loud crash and he screams so loud istg

the next thing you see is naruto’s face hovering over the camera in fear just before his camera turns off and he’s muted again

the teacher is so confused?? naruto should i call an ambulance

but when he’s not eating in class, he’s sleeping in class

too busy sleeping to leave the zoom at the end of class so he’s always the last one left in the meeting besides the teacher

always asks sakura what happened during the zoom and she is FED UP

SAKURA

enters the waiting room 15 minutes before class is actually supposed to begin

spends the next 15 minutes rearranging her work area, making sure she’s prepared for the day

sits properly at her desk with her hair smoothed down and her face positioned perfectly in frame

if no one else has their camera on, she’s the only one with it on

seriously, she ALWAYS HAS IT ON

and she never leaves the screen somehow

diligently takes notes, uses the “raise hand” feature every two minutes to ask a question

sometimes it can get a bit annoying, even for the teacher

but she almost always gets perfect marks

acts like in angel in class, but after class... no promises, naruto!

SHIKAMARU

this man can barely stay awake during missions, so during a zoom? HECK NAH

shikamaru is literally me,, half asleep during lessons but somehow gets amazing grades

everyone’s either pissed at or envious of him (especially naruto)

obviously does not have his camera on

and rarely ever unmutes

uses the chat feature to answer the teacher’s questions but this man is basically asleep so its so incoherent

“shikamaru, what is a hyperbole?”

in chat: “a hyeprbole is a exsaggerayed phras,e”

teacher definitely thinks he’s cheating on tests

INO

either a) daydreaming about boys or b) checking herself out in the zoom camera OR c) secretly fuming at sakura’s know-it-all behavior

the two girls definitely compete to see who can raise their virtual hand first

"ahem, ahem- sensei? could i answer this question?"

her voice gets all sickly sweet and sakura HATES IT

the two of them totally got caught insulting each other in the private chat

100% the type of student to rewrite her notes after classes with various markers and colored pens and pretty fonts and patterns and whatnot

loves doodling flowers in her notebook during boring lessons!

CHOJI

another strong contender for the Loudest Student award!

not on purpose though, he just forgets that space bar = unmute, and plays some jumping game in another tab (like the no internet dino game!)

also,, rip headphone users

c r o n c h munch munch munch

are you kidding this man's chews are loud enough in person, but with a HEADSET?! hoo boy.

has conked out several times during class

just imagine the name Choji Akimichi with a profile picture of a bag of chips light up with the green box around it with a thunk

the teacher and class is so confused

but then you hear mumbles of "barbeque... chips... barbeque..."

and you realize that the man fell asleep onto his keyboard

he sleeps through the rest of class

HINATA

shy bb has never ONCE turned on her camera

the only time she's ever unmuted was to say "here" during attendance on the first day of school

if the teacher ever takes attendance again, she just uses the raise hand feature

what if naruto-kun thinks my voice is ugly? what if i accidentally turn on my camera? what if the teacher thinks i'm not paying attention? what if-

poor baby is too busy worrying about showing herself on zoom to actually pay attention

actually gets good grades though and her classmates wonder if she’s even there

her zoom pfp is definitely just a purple google “H”

KIBA

has the CUTEST zoom pfp hands down

it’s a selfie of him grinning cheerily with baby akamaru

100% has his camera on the whole time to show off his pup

he loves seeing everyone’s faces on screen melt and aww at the lil big doggo

sometimes akamaru just walks in front of the camera and blocks kiba from view and you just see a massive wall of white fur on screen LMAO

even though kiba’s muted, you can see him and akamaru bickering about who knows what

or even play fighting,, these two get into full on BRAWLS during class

just imagine akamaru shoves kiba into his desk and his camera crashes to the ground overturned so you see the ceiling and the occasional dog tail wagging in the corner

seriously, can the teacher ever catch a break with this class?

the answer is no.

SHINO

his zoom pfp is just a tick.

a singular tick

totally answers questions in chat with proper capitalization and punctuation

shikamaru’s improper answers tick him off

“A hyperbole is an expression that is greatly exaggerated. They are used in order to create emphasis.”

has never unmuted in his life either

he’s so unfazed by everything that goes down in class that it’s funny

if anything the slightest bit RELATED to bugs comes up during class, in 0.00238 seconds this man has an entire essay about them posted in chat, almost like he had it copied and READY to paste

everyone's definitely shocked that there’s actually a human listening behind a tick profile picture

NEJI

a very diligent note taker

seriously, this man writes like a printer; perfectly even handwriting that looks like a font, a million words per minute

everyone asks him for his notes after the zoom because they’re so neat (especially naruto, to neji’s dismay)

he gets excellent grades since he’s so organized and focused

just wishes the zoom would be over so he can work alone in peace

really hates unmuting so he often gives one-word answers in the chat

“Yes” “47” “Present” “Goodbye”

has used a zoom reaction ONCE in his life and he has never wanted to crawl into a hole and perish more

it was a complete accident,, mans was just trying to open the chat to type in his answer, but in a cruel twist of fate he clicked on the 😂 reaction

and he just sat there for ten excruciating seconds in complete and utter shock and shame for ten excruciating seconds as he prayed for it to disappear

tenten would never let him live that down

ROCK LEE

Zoom Reaction Enthusiast

😂😮👍🎉❤️ 24/7

naruto accidentally unmutes himself? 😮

choji falls asleep on his keyboard? 😂

neji answers something correctly? 👍

tenten received the highest score in class? 🎉

akamaru appears on screen? ❤️

unmutes whenever he needs to, but he thinks the little emoticons are so silly and cute

otherwise, he is EXTRA FOCUSED and EXTREMELY DETERMINED to learn all of the things

he’s the first to unmute whenever the teacher asks if the class can see the screen share, hear them correctly, etc.

never takes his eyes off the screen!! he could be missing out on important information

I FEEL LIKE,, i feel like he would totally keep his camera off when he’s muted but whenever he unmutes he would also turn his camera on

so when he says a quick “yes!” his camera turns on but before his camera can adjust properly to the light he mutes and turns his camera back off so his face is just super dark for a split second LMAOOO

tell me im wrong

TENTEN

exasperated by this entire class

thinks her and neji are the only sane ones in the class and it’s true

wants to tell sakura and ino to stop competing and just focus on learning, since they’re the only other girls in the class besides hinata

plus she’s just fed up with all the lazy boys

takes great pride in passing every assignment, test, or exam with flying colors

teachers pet, but the quieter type who stays after every zoom and sends lots of emails regarding assignments and grades and whatnot (unlike sakura and ino who rub it in the teacher’s face)

doesn’t like helping other people besides neji, girl’s got a soft spot for him since they have a mutual respect for each other

but if you’re a handsome prince, maybe she’ll help you out!

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

SECOND CHANCE

Prompt: Just some good old fluff with Finny boy

Word Count: Long, bitch! So fucking long

Pairings: Finn Bálor x Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smut (implied)

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @theworldofotps , @new-zealand-chic , @sassymox , @waywardwrestlewritingwaif , @yungbludjazz360 , @starwithaheart

Notes: Found this in an old file (wrote this about two years ago, maybe?) But I kinda like this little story ❤️ If you’d like to check out my previous works, you can find them on my Masterlist 😉

A deep sigh of relief left my lips as I brushed my damp hair. I heard a commotion in the living room, and began to dread the potential fight I would have to break up between a four and six year-old over a remote control.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!” Caleb screamed in excitement, while bursting through my bedroom door like a maniac

“You’ll never believe who’s downstairs with us” He jumped with a cheeky smile

“Cal, who’s downstairs?” I ask worryingly, instinctively reaching for the gun that I kept in my nightstand

Caleb laughed and ran downstairs again.

As a homicide detective, my cop instincts combined with my motherly instincts took over me and I ran to the living room in only a tank top and panties, with my gun already aimed to shoot.

Although, the last person I thought I would see standing there, braiding my daughter Maeve’s hair in a style reminiscent of queen Elsa, and watching Caleb showing off his somersault technique was HIM…

That caught me off guard and he must have sensed it, because the first thing he did was look up.

“Hi” He said shyly

“What are you doing here, Finn?” I asked, putting my gun down on the dinner table

“I swear I didn’t break in” He laughed, attempting a joke

“What do you want?” I decided to ignore the small talk...there was no need for that, not after everything he did

“I have an injury. So I have some time off for a while and I wanted to stop by to see the kids and you” He whispered the last part

“Injury, huh? Is it bad?”

Even after everything he did, I couldn’t help but worry about his well being, you know, for the kids sake!...

Ok fine, I still love him, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“No, nothing serious. But I got two months off and I was excited to see my family” He looked at me when he said that

“Are you going to see your parents?”

“Yeah and I was thinking if it would be ok with you if I take the kids with me?”

“Of course! Why would I mind?”

His family was always very loving and kind to me, and we became very close once the kids were born. Sometimes I would take them to Ireland on my vacation so they could see their grandparents or they would travel to New York so they could see the kids.

“Because of...you know” He trailed off

“Neither your family or the kids have anything to do with that. I’m a grown woman, Finn. I know how to separate the sheep from the goat, ok?!”

I could feel the air becoming thicker with the tension, until Maeve said

“Mommy, why aren’t you wearing any pants? Are you feeling hot? I can get you the Japanese hand fan daddy gave it to me, if you’d like” She smiled

“Thank you buttercup, but that won’t be necessary. I’ll be right back”

......................................................................

Now, properly dressed, I made my way towards the kitchen to get dinner ready.

“Do you need any help?” Finn asked from behind me

“No, thank you. You can go stay with the kids” I didn’t even bother to turn around to face him

“Y/N, can we talk?”

I sighed “There’s nothing worth talking about, Finn”

“Please?”

“What can you possibly say that will change what happened? Nothing! It will be a bunch of empty sorry’s and excuses, so let’s just save it, ok?!”

“It’s not empty, I truly am sorry”

“You should’ve thought that before you believed the bunch of lies she told you”

He opened his mouth to say something but Caleb began calling for him to go watch the cartoons with them.

......................................................................

“Mommy, can daddy have dinner with us?” Maeve asked

“Of course, pumpkin. If he would like to”

“Yay” She screams “Daddy, come!” She beckoned him

The subjects of conversation at dinner were mostly controlled by the kids. They, as per usual, asked me how many bad people I had taken down that day, but also asked Finn about his traveling, which state or city he liked the most, the best foods he’d eaten, which LEGO set was he building, if the hotel beds were soft and ‘what about the blankets?’

“Alright, I know you two are very excited to see daddy, but we need to brush those teeth! So, let’s go kiddos” I got up from my chair

“I’ll do it” He grabbed both kids, resting one on each side of his hip and went up to brush their teeth

When he came back down alone, I give him a questioning look

“They’re asleep” He smiled softly

“Oh, you already put them down for bed?! Thank you” I said, cleaning the kitchen island.

He nodded “I just didn’t bathe them because they said you already did”

“Yeah, that’s the first thing I do when I get home. Or my mom does it for me if I get caught up in a case, but most of the time I do it”

“How’s work?” He asked, sitting down on one of the high benches.

“Good, Richard is my superior again, so he helps me a lot with my shifts, because of the kids” I smiled

“The old man is still working?” He laughed, amused

“Yeah, he already said he will only leave his badge when he’s dead” I cackled “How’s road life? Amazing, I presume”

“Nah, don’t let the bright lights fool ya” He laughed, bitterly “I love wrestling, being in the ring, performing for the audience, but once I pass through the curtains backstage it gets lonely” A little bit of sadness could be heard in his voice “It’s very lonely... it’s different from when I came back home to you and the kids. Now I just get back to an empty apartment, wishing I could get back home” He looks at me

“Finn, please”

“I love you! Why can’t we just try again?”

“Because no!”

“Why?” He pleaded

“Because you don’t know what it was like ok?! You don’t know how much it hurt me, the things you said, the fact that you believed some envious woman’s gossip about me having an affair with Lucas! He’s married for fuck’s sake! To a man!”

“I- I didn’t knew Lucas was gay, Y/N”

“Yeah, you didn’t! And why is that? Oh yeah, because you did not trust your own wife, all you saw was the fact that he is a man and my work partner so you just bought the assumption that woman sold you, choosing to believe her instead of me!”

“It wasn’t like that, ok?” He tried to explain

“It wasn’t like that, you say? When you were the one who came in here filled with accusations! Saying that I had an affair with him, that I cheated on you, that you wished you would’ve slept with half of the women who throw themselves at you everyday, doubting that those kids upstairs are yours, when they’re the fucking spitting image of you! You said all those horrible things, Finn. Not me!”

He stared at his knuckles as I continued, now crying

“How do you think that made me feel? To listen from my own husband how much he wished he had cheated on me. Bragging about all of the hot young women who are waiting to be fucked by a wrestler...You know it was always hard for me to accept that you wanted me and not some hot girl in the locker room, that you had chosen me, that I got lucky enough to not only marry a man who’s physically breathtaking but also such a beautiful person on the inside. And still, it was that same Prince Charming who became the frog! I never thought that” I had to stop myself from saying the next horrible words roaming through my mind

“You never thought that, what, Y/N?”

I shook my head

“Say it”

I shook my head again and he got up from the bench, coming to where I was standing

“Say it, love. I can take it”

“I don’t want to say it” I whispered as more tears rolled down my cheeks

“Shhh, it’s ok, love” Finn pulled my head to his chest “Please don’t cry, I hate when you cry” His arms are tightly locked around me, providing me the sense of comfort that only he could give. And I hated that!

“Let me go” I tried to push him away

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“Just don’t touch me” I said, shoving him away

He knew that I was closing him off, I could see it in his eyes

“Say it! You never thought that what?” He insisted, more forcefully this time

“I never thought that someday I would regret meeting you! Marrying you, starting a family with you. If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t!” I spat

“You wouldn’t?” He scooted closer

“No” I answered with venom in my voice, trying to turn my undying love for him into hatred

“But I would!” Finn said firmly

I shook my head in denial, as he cupped my cheeks in his calloused hands, making me look up to meet his blue eyes

“I would do it, all over again. Meeting you, dating you, marrying you, having kids with you, in the future seeing the kids graduate high school, college, be at their wedding, take our future grandkids to the park, and spend the rest of my life with you! I would choose you over and over and over again! I choose you everyday, Y/N”

I squeezed my eyes shut

“You’re lying! Stop lying, Finn” I whispered

“Am I though? Open your eyes and look at me. I was never able to hide ANYTHING from you, I can lie to anyone but you. You can always see through me, so just look at me and tell me if I’m lying. If I am, then I promise you, I’ll leave this house right now and you’ll never have to see me again! Just open your eyes” He kissed each closed eyelid

After a few minutes, I gathered the courage to finally look at him and I could only see love, regret, pain and truth.

“I love you Y/N and always will. Yes, I was dumb to listen to some random gossip and I’m paying the price for it, but the only thing I ask you is: please, don’t give up on us! I’ll give you whatever time you need, just promise me that we’ll fix it. That we’ll be together again...You, Caleb and Maeve are my life! I would die to save you in a blink, love. If I had to choose between your life or mine I would choose yours, becau-“

I placed two fingers on his lips

“Stop talking like that! You know I don’t like it. It attracts those bad vibes, you know?”

Finn lightly chuckled “But I mean it”

“Stop! I don’t like when you talk like that... I hate to think that something bad could ever happen to you. You know, because of the kids” I tried to hide my feelings

“And you wouldn’t miss me, not even a little bit?” He teased

“I miss you everyday” I quickly slapped a hand over my mouth when I realized what I just said

He smiled sweetly, leaning down to place sweet and innocent pecks all over my face.

Finn started on my forehead, then he went to my temples, followed by the cheekbones, apple’s of the cheek, jaw, chin, side of my lips. Finn pulled back to search for any resistance signs and when he found none, he kissed my lips. A lazy kiss, that grew more urgent by the minute.

“Fuck, I missed you so much” He moaned, now kissing my neck

“Finn, wait. Wait a minute” I tried to pull his head back by his hair but that only made him moan.

“Finn!” I said harshly, finally having his attention

“What’s wrong, love? Don’t you want it? I thought that-“

“Have you seen anyone since we broke up?” I asked, not even letting him finish his sentence

“We didn’t break up! You asked me for some time and-“

“Finn, just answer the fucking question please” I pleaded

“No, I haven’t been with anyone in those 8 months. Except for my hand when I look at your pictures” He smirked

“You’re so ridiculous” I whispered in relief as my arms circled his waist

“So...do you still want to make love?” He eagerly asked

“We never made love, Finny. We’ve always fucked senseless” I laughed

“No! We’ve always made love it’s just that we’re more frantic about it” He chuckled

“Ok, we sleep together and then what?” I asked

“Then you stay here and I go back to my apartment” He simply said

My heart sunk in my chest as a faint “Oh, ok” left my lips

“So I can pack my clothes and bring them back home” He said, as a devilish smile grew on his face “That’s of course, if you want me here”

“Asshole” I lightly punched his chest “I thought you just wanted a one night stand and that’s it. You scared me!”

Finn chuckled, beckoning me closer to him

“You could never be just a one night stand, love. You fuck too good to be just a one time thing” He winked

“So you just want me for my bedroom skills, huh?” I teased

“Yes and no” He giggled “Yes, because no other woman fucks like you do” He bit my neck, growling “And no, because there’s so much more about you than the bedroom” He hugged my waist “You’re my best friend, my nurturer, my supporter, the air that keeps me alive, my everything!” He kissed me passionately

“Can we try again? Start over and leave all that shit behind us?” He whispered

“If you promise me that if we get back together, you won’t listen to other people’s gossip and will come to me whenever you hear somethi-“

“Yes!” He pecked my lips excitedly, as a wide smile took over his face “I promise you, love! That’ll never happen again, you have my word!” He gave me a bear hug and spun me around the kitchen

“Finn!” I squealed, when we almost fell to the ground “We’re going to wake up the kids” I giggled

“Oh no, shhhh” He shut me up with a kiss “We can’t let that happen! Because as much as I love our children, I haven’t gotten any in eight months and I can’t wait to change that with you right now” He pushed us towards the couch and laid on top of me

“But I thought you were going to go and get your clothes”

“I don’t need clothes, woman! You know I like to sleep naked” He winked

And roamed his head down to...

Please, if you’re comfortable with it, let me know your thoughts on this? Feedbacks are always appreciated 🥰😘

[razorblade180]

Interdimensional Moms part 2

Part 1 <-

Yang:Okay Weiss, your turn.

Weiss:What!? Why me?

Blake:Because you’ve been bouncing in your seat all through Yang’s story. You clearly want to gush about your kids.

Weiss:Pffft, What!? Nooooo, a little. Hehehe I can’t believe I’m that obvious. *smiles*

Ruby:Aww look at you, I never believe Weiss Schnee could look as warm as campfire.

Yang:And wearing mom jeans!? Little jealous that you still look completely gorgeous. Why does mom energy make you prettier?

Weiss:What can I say? I’m great. As far as my universe goes, I argue that I’m the strongest mom!

Blake:Such a bold claim.

Weiss:I carried twins! *points to self* this body handled two buns in the oven!

Ruby:Couldn’t be me. *shutters* I’d sooner loose an eye. Speaking of eyes, your scar has a friend. Got this whole upside down cross basically.

Weiss:Oh that? That’s uhhhh- how would I even explain this?

Yang:And your hair! It’s short!

Ruby:Yeah you’re just a surprise all over.

Blake:Guys, let her start from the beginning!

Ruby and Yang:Oh right. *covers mouths*

Weiss:(Yep, they’re the same sisters anywhere.) Thank you Blake. Now then...a good starting place? Well I suppose I could lay the ground work of Jaune and I getting better acquainted. It was about two weeks into reaching Atlas. Winter learned I got impaled and berated me not giving any kind of thanks. Since I had waited so long to do so, words wouldn’t do for her standards and she made me take him to a proper dinner. I think it was that night we actually talked openly to each other. A piece of me was annoyed at first because I thought he’d get the wrong idea again. But...he didn’t. He was just happy to spend time with me. That’s when I realized he had changed a bit *red* and apparently I changed too. Sigh, because that annoyed feeling was actually me forming a crush.

Blake:Looks like you changed more than he did. I think we can all agree that we’re pretty rough to deal with at Beacon in the beginning?

Yang:Hell yeah!

Ruby:Preach! Hehe, but it meant you grew the most too.

Weiss:Hey! You’re all assuming that I was terrible! Who knows, I could a Saint compared to your Weiss. Maybe I was a sweetheart at Beacon.

RBY:.....

Yang:Were you?

Weiss:*red* I’ll never tell.

Blake:(That’s just a no...) Two weeks into Atlas huh? I bet feelings raged whenever the whole place was under attack huh?

Weiss:W...What attack? Barely anything happened in Atlas.

Blake:Excuse me?

Ruby:Pfft what? You’re joking right? There wasn’t any threat of things falling out the sky or war threats?

Weiss:No? We showed up, put the relic in vault, and took time fortifying things while planning with Ironwood. The most exciting thing was a grimm wave and two of Salem’s goons showing up at a ball, but we handled that.

Ruby:....I...that’s...oh my head.

Blake:So what you’re saying is time in Atlas was a piece of cake?

Weiss:Well I had to deal with my father and and a lot of other family drama so I wouldn’t say it was cake. It was actually very stressful.

Yang:Well I think we found the massive shift between worlds. Atlas was different. I would say I dealt with anything like falling kingdoms. Atlas for me was one long Mission Impossible sequence. Espionage, jail break, fake deaths, but please continue with your love story.

Weiss:You sound a little envious. Anyways there isn’t too much of anything to tell in that part. Dates, fighting together, sibling healing, I was disowned publicly, Penny was being amazing-

Blake:You were disowned?

Ruby:(Penny is...alive? Huh, well, imagine that?) .....

Yang:*whispers* You okay Rubes?

Ruby:Yeah, processing. Hey Weiss? Not to control the narrative or anything, but how is your Ruby exactly? I get the feeling she’s quite different from me somehow if things like the adventure in Atlas are different.

Weiss rubbed her chin. She could tell the Ruby in front of her was pretty perplexed by the differences so far. In fact, Weiss could tell mentioning Penny made them all flinch a little. It was safe to assume they all hadn’t heard that name in a very long time. It made her feel a little bad. Did she somehow get a more ideal world?

Weiss:I think I might be able to answer that if you could humor me by getting a little further into my world’s reality? I don’t know how but I do get a since the two of you might have a key difference.

Ruby:I’m all ears.

Weiss: Blake, I’ll circle back to being disowned a little later. It’s one of the biggest reasons I am who I am now. Let’s see now, ah, the plan. After Atlas was infiltrated it was hard to save face to the rest of Remnant. That was until the world learned about Salem. It was a secret that was doing more harm than good at this point. On that day, our journey really began for us. Team RWBY wasn’t just four girls and their friends. It was one of four four girls commanding troops, organizing meetings, rallying others. We were the face of a revolution: along with JNPR of course.

Ruby:The world just...believed in Salem?

Weiss:There were plenty skeptics, but it’s harder not to believe it. Pen- our winter maiden, showed off magic. Then the others on our side followed the example. We had two relics to show off from the start, and a variety of ways to explain questions throughout history that nobody could answer before. We gave humanity’s suffering a face. People were more than eager to cling to it. From that point it was hard for Salem to make a move that wouldn’t give further validity to our story.

Ruby:An army huh, lead by us?

Weiss:Yep, mainly you when it came to the battlefield. You were anxious at first and definitely made moves that you regretted. But...after some time and experience, you stood tall in front of dozens to give a speech the night of the final battle. I still get chills. There wasn’t an eye that wasn’t on you. A person who didn’t want to march into battle with you. I don’t think I ever seen you more sure of where you were meant to be.

Ruby:Is that so? Hmm, I think...I think I get it now. Your Ruby must’ve stumbled quite a bit, but had people by her consistently. It was other’s strength that enabled her to get stronger. How old was she when the war was over?

Weiss:It ended on her twenty first birthday.

Ruby:Makes sense. An army isn’t made in a day. Plans and caution for everyone involved. A united force like that sounds like a thing Oz dreamed of.

Weiss:Actually, it was. My world beat Salem by gaining the relics. The gods witnessed the effort the world put in and stripped her of immortality. It was actually thanks to you that Salem went peacefully. Instead of damning her to a cruel fate, the gods let her pass on to her kids per your request. After that, gods and magic came back. Both are still mysterious. The gods are hard to find and there’s only one person born with magic so far.

Yang:Magic is a thing there!? That’s so unfair! Just imagine me with more fire!?

Weiss:Like you need it!? You’re already like a generator. Life after Salem wasn’t any calmer really. Terrifying grimm lurked where their could, an entire new way of life had been dropped on society, and even the world itself seemed to react. Weather has been more intense as of late. There was a lot things to keep people busy. Ruby being her usual self, started hunting. Blake used the momentum of faunus and humans working together to further her equality agenda, and Yang helped both of you out.

Yang:Look at me! I’m a great girlfriend and sister!

Blake:*mumbles* There at least.

Weiss:Yeah. Oscar and Penny decided to embarrass more of normal lifestyle, mostly. Penny went back to being protector of Mantle, but had way more free time to be a normal girl. Both of them had gotten really close over the years and eventually married.

Ruby:*wide eyed* Awwww, good for them! I always had a feeling those two would hit it off.

Weiss:They weren’t the only ones. You may have been busy, but you always made time for Whitley. The two of you were dating since our original trip to Atlas. There wasn’t a problem that either of you didn’t come to me for. You know hard it is to navigate other people’s relationships when you’re lost in your own? The blind was leading the blind. Worked out though. You were probably the prettiest bride out of all of us. Then again, you went ours and literally took notes.

Ruby:Hehe, that sounds exactly like something I’d do. You haven’t talked much about the charmed life after the war for you.

Weiss felt her face heat up. She placed her head on the table as if she gave up on something.

Yang:Yeah! Give us the scoop!

Weiss:Charmed isn’t what I’d call my life exactly. I was disowned, completely cut off. Even though I made my own mark in history, it’s not like people were gonna roll out red carpets. The world had to rebuild, and I needed a roof over my head. Thus began the modest life of Weiss Schnee, owner of a two bedroom Argus apartment. Fancy clothes a food were no more. Just clearance sales and two for one. Honestly, I didn’t hate. But that’s mainly because I wasn’t living alone.

Blake:Jaune?

Weiss:Living back home was just as unappealing for him as it was for me. That and the fact that I couldn’t cook for shit was concerning, to say the least. Moving in and splitting rent just made sense. We weren’t dating yet technically, but.....it didn’t take long for the relationship between us to...expand.

Yang:I cannot believe a Weiss Schnee finally caved to tall blonde and scraggly. I should be jealous, but I’m strangely proud of Jaune’s achievement. It’s like the first time I lost to him. I was upset, but man did he work for that win.

Weiss:Took about a month before all of you had learned just what the living situation was like and man did you three let the teasing begin? *smiles* it was fun though. If I had to wrong about something then I’m glad it was about me not thinking a person is reliable. Especially since they’ve bailed me out of trouble many times. Normal life had its pitfalls. We were constantly working to pay rent. Sometimes one of us had to work harder. Getting sick was disastrous, of long term assignments. What’s the relationship I have with Whitley in the other worlds?

Ruby:Casual. The two of are always throwing ideas back and forth to help the company.

Blake:The two of you are fine. I’m not too sure how much you actually hang out, but you both are pretty snarky whenever you’re together.

Yang:Thick as thieves. That man was always shifting money and finding sneaky ways to let us know when important things popped up.

Weiss:Good, that’s really good. *exhales* I can’t count the times he sent money without father knowing. I’m glad we reconnected. Without his and everyone’s help, I don’t think I would’ve managed. Especially when mom died...

Ruby:Oh. I...I’m sorry to hear that.

Weiss:It’s bound to happen when you drink the way she did. But yeah, didn’t handle it any easier. Between that and stressing over money, I really got overwhelmed often. I was very glad I didn’t live alone. Even if I didn’t want to talk about things, Jaune was always there to listen. I think it was around that time I realized just how in love I actually was with him. He makes me happy. That idiot must’ve known how much of a weakness I had for him. It was only a few months later that he proposed.

The simple memory of Jaune asking her under a street light on a cold yet peaceful night, made Weiss’s face a healthy shade of red. A gentle smile was all she could make thinking about it. A smile that left everyone stunned. They had never seen Weiss look so warm. So genuinely filled with love, happiness. To think she was once called Ice Queen? This one really did look like an Angel. Weiss quit daydreaming and got a little embarrassed.

Weiss:Uh, sorry! I guess I little mushy there. I’ve been told I’ve gotten pretty sappy through the years.

Blake:I think that’s beautiful.

Yang:Seriously. I’m...speechless really.

Ruby:A hardworking Weiss that struggled making ends meet. I gotta say that you look good doing it.

Weiss:Yeah well, that time has passed. My father got sick and in an attempt to “clear his conscious” or whatever he was feeling, he put me back in the family. I only saw him once when he was on his deathbed. Truthfully, I don’t visit my parent’s grave. I wanna say old emotions don’t get stirred up, but there’s certain feelings towards people that just can’t die I guess.

Yang:That’s fair. Who knows, maybe you just need a decade or two?

Weiss:Hehe, perhaps. However, before I got my fortune back, I was granted an either better one. Two in fact. That sly knight of mine managed to overachieve like he always does and give us a boy and girl.

Blake:I got a sneaking suspicion that you weren’t upset?

Weiss:Not for one second! I love my babies. My darling little Nick and Summer Schnee. One named after our grandfather, and Jaune and I are both really thankful for all that Ruby has done for us, so our daughter got named Summer. It meant a lot. My Ruby...she can’t have kids, or I should say getting and staying pregnant is extremely difficult.

Ruby:...*sniffling* These aren’t tears by the way. Just dust.

Weiss:My Ruby cried.

Ruby:Oh I bet! That’s some powerful stuff. Probably ugly cried too. Someone please say something? *misty eyed* Fuck, man that was a lot. *puts hood up* give me a sec, please keep going. *holding Yang’s hand*

Yang:Weiss, weren’t you a little scared about your living situation?

Weiss:It was a weird thing. We talked about having a family before hand. Money was always a concern, as well space; but I also knew that I did want to have a family of my own one day. So when the day came that the nurse told me I was pregnant, I should’ve been more worried. I wasn’t. All I felt was joy. Maybe it was because I had faith we could handle anything. We did have you all to help. Yang, you might as well be a superwoman honestly. You have been so amazing throughout my life.

Yang:Aye! I really love this other me.

Blake:What about me?

Weiss:You remain the most sensible person in my life and I thank you for it. Everyone else is crazy.

Blake:Yeah that’s pretty on brand. *smiles*

Ruby:Picture please?

Weiss gladly pulled out her scroll and showed off her children. It was quick to see both of them had gotten their father’s dorkiness. They stood in front of the camera playfully winking and were pretending to take a bite out the gold medals they had around their necks. It was crazy how much Summer looked like her mother, but clearly had Jaune’s eyes. Her brother on the other hand had the Schnee eyes and messy Arc hair. The two looked like barrels of fun. Then there was the man himself, Jaune Arc. He looked from the one in Yang’s photo. His hair resembled his days traveling to Haven and he was clean shaven, but he was noticeably healthier. It wasn’t even a physical thing much, though he did look good. He just seemed more vibrant.

Yang:Mine is cuter.

Weiss:Yours looks like your dad with the scruff.

Yang:Can you not?

Blake:How old?

Weiss:Sixteen. Little devils want sports car. I’m not dealing with that. Nick is really good at figure skating and is the oldest, so he’s the heir. Summer decided to be a little like her mother and pursue singing. Doesn’t have my voice though, but her range is better than me. I’m jealous. Both of them are always pretty decent in a fight if I do say so myself. Sigh, they grow up so fast. They still have a lot of growing to do though. Teenagers...

RBY:Preach...

Ruby:Everything okay though? Nothing too tough going on?

Weiss:Can I lie and say yes?

Yang:Hey I unpacked my baggage. Unload yours.

Weiss let out a large sigh. She looked at her kids lovingly, but had a smile that seemed...somber. All of her energy was brought down a bit and it showed.

Yang:Umm if it’s too much-

Weiss:It’s fine. It might be a little therapeutic to talk about it. Personally, I don’t I’m doing all I really can do. When they were very young, we all took a trip to go skating at a frozen lake. While I was there I found this strange ice dust that I’ve never seen before. Nick and Summer had gotten into a fight and by accident, Nick set off the dust. The shrapnel from it hit everyone, but Summer had it the worse. I’m talking it was lodged in her in multiple places. Not to mention the blast sent her flying into the water. I was hit so hard that I nearly blacked out. Thankfully, Jaune was the furthest and dove into the water while I managed to get Nick. He avoided a lot of it due to distance and was winded more than anything.

Ruby:Christ...

Blake:How young?

Weiss:Five. We rushed so fast to the hospital as soon as we could. The dust in Summer was freezing her until Nick activated her semblance and most of the shards got used up. Still, Summer ended up hospitalized for almost a year. Surgeries, comas, seizures; it was difficult to put it lightly. That picture doesn’t show it but she has puncture scars across her body, and a slight scar under her jawline she covers with makeup. That dust, though highly dangerous, it also healed her eventually. Summer had virtually no chance of survival. Not even counting the organ damage, that water should’ve put her into shock. But...she made a full recovery, on paper.

Yang:On paper?

Weiss:Several years later, Summer came in contact with the dust again and she...changed. Her eyes looked like mine, her light blonde hair went white, and she went mad. Her scars glowed with the dust that was still in her system and Summer started attacking everyone. I saw my twelve year old just use ice that was cold enough to burn. My extra scar is from me trying to restrain her. In the end it took my gigas pinning her down before she came to her senses. Summer had no memory of it. She said all remembered was feeling cold and hearing her own laughter. It wasn’t long after that it kept happening. Any time she got cold, this other...thing would come out. It eventually called itself Shiva.

Blake:Shiva? So...it’s a multiple personality?

Weiss:We don’t know. There’s so many inconsistencies. We got her checked up by the best and every test was normal. Her brain looks normal. But any time Shiva comes out, her blood turns blue and all she wants to do is hurt us. Shiva and Summer are even aware of each other now. There’s almost no day where Summer doesn’t hear Shiva in her head, wrestling for control. Between that, people at school who hate her, the scars, everything; Summer has become pretty reserved. She barely wants to go to school and she’s depressed most days. Nowadays she doesn’t open up about it outside of therapy. I...I can connect with her. Not in the way that matters.

Yang:I...shit, I don’t know what to say to that.

Weiss:That’s okay, few do. We’ve gotten good at preventing situations that get Summer cold but it’s through trial and error on something we know nothing about. Even with how far we’ve gotten, there’s a looming fear in everyone’s heart. Make no mistake though, that doesn’t stop any family from loving her with everything, but the mental strain of it all is more than anyone should deal with. Nick is kind soul. He blames himself for this and is constantly doing all he can to be there for everyone and put on this brave face, but he suffers inside. For a time, he went to therapy. Your sister almost killing you is a visceral experience. Getting him to sleep and take a break is like telling a fish not to swim. He is pretty open about this though, which helps a lot. It’s just...how do convince somehow they’re good enough when they think they’re not?

Ruby and Blake:You can’t....

Weiss:Exactly. It’s so...*tearing up* How am I failing at helping my kids worse than my own mother?

Yang:And that’s where I draw the line. *stands up* Now I can’t begin to fathom dealing with a a situation like this, and what I’m about to say is gonna be a little hypocritical but I really don’t care. Weiss, the last thing you are is a bad mother. I could tell immediately from the way you are that there hasn’t been a single as a parent that you haven’t made a choice without your kids in mind. I get feeling like there’s a gap that disconnects you from there; but the fact you keep your arms stretched out to bridge it makes you mother of the year in my eyes! Don’t believe for a second you’re a bad mother. Your the gold standard!

The room filled with silence for a moment. Weiss felt a lump form in her throat as she fought back tears that she eventually had to wipe away. She tried letting out a small laugh, but with it came more tears that ran down her face. Weiss couldn’t tell if it was from Yang’s words, or the stress. All she knew was that right now, she felt very thankful for being here.

Weiss:Damn it Yang, making me cry is something you’ve always been good at. Maybe that’s why I look up to you so much?

Yang:*red* Y-You what?

Weiss:My Yang, I downplayed just how much I adore her. Her daughter, Veronica, she’s got her fair share problems that stresses Yang out, but I never see her stop trying to connect with her. Even when she’s sad it’s like it’s only for a second, then you’re trying twice as hard. It’s amazing. If I’m being honest, and this is embarrassing, but I kinda picked up a mother from you. You’ve always been a bit motherly.

Ruby:She’s right.

Blake:Mom energy since day one.

Yang:Really? *rubs head* I was just being myself. Never really thought about it. Now then, wipe those tears! It’s upsetting that you look pretty why you cry. Meanwhile I look like a hot mess, and not in the fun way.

Weiss:*wiping face* Oh please, I don’t wanna hear that from someone who’s never needed make up. Those genes of your went to Veronica. Kids a genuine beauty. She’s just angry all the time.

Yang:Yeah that sounds appropriate... Weird to think I have a daughter that’s not Yujin. Wish I could see her.

Blake:Me too. Though I think I’d be overwhelmed seeing all my different kids. I’d probably want them all.

Ruby:My hands are full with ones I have and I wouldn’t say I’m juggling them well, so I don’t need other kids from universes. I’d be so stressed.

Weiss:Especially if they’re violent.

Ruby:Yeah, that would bad....

Weiss:Phew, I do feel a bit better. Even though I said all those things, my family still had good times. It’s not tense and we joke around like everyone else. As a family, we’re happy. We just have shit we gotta sort through.

Blake:Rich or poor, life has certain things that hit everyone. Is Jaune doing well.

Weiss:Yeah, he gets through to Summer pretty well, and he’s typically calm when it comes to giving guidance. He had his fears, but that’s why I’m here. We confide in each other.

Blake:May you and everyone else find a light at the end of the tunnel.

Ruby:Hey Weiss. Does....actually, never mind. Forget it.

Yang:We both know that’s not happening. Spit it out.

Ruby:I was just about Shiva. I’ve encountered weird things in my world, but this is unique. I was wondering if you have any positive experience with her.

Weiss:Not a single one. Here since of enjoyment in the displeasure of my children is a thing we disagree on. Though....her eyes, they do throw me off. For some reason, they don’t match her joy.

Blake:Maybe that part is still Summer. Eyes are the window to the soul and all that jazz.

Weiss:Maybe? I hope the kids are okay right now. I wonder what they’re up to?

xxxxx

Summer:WHAT’S UP VALE!!!!!!!!

A massive crowd screams “what’s up Summer”in excitement. Flashing lights and chanting fans’s voices make the sold out venue shake with their passion. Summer can only bask in it. There’s no better feeling than when she’s on stage. She looks to herself excitedly. This one was extra special. Nick comes out on stage with a base around him and a second microphone.

Nick:WE CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!!

The crowd chants louder. Summer responds by starting a rift on her guitar. She faces Nick with a smug look. Yes, having him on stage is always a joy, but that didn’t mean Summer wanted him hindering or stealing the show.

Summer:Well look who’s here!? Atlas’s favorite son! Think you’re ready to play with the kids up here. This isn’t your normal stage.

Nick smiled. He responded by playing the bass and letting the audience speak for him. Summer was chessing fool. Slowly she bopped up and down, urging him to do the same. It wasn’t long before they in sync. Drums, piano, and other background musicians began building up the tune as planned. The twins whipped around to face the crowd.

🎶Get down! We won't let you go!

This time, can you bring us down?

Back up! fly far through the sky

BLACK ROVER!

Let's go! All together now

And at last this world can't slow us down

For now, let's dye it all in black

BLACK ROVER!🎶

The two stood back to back...

🎶As more join and stand beside me,

The void doesn't feel so empty!!!!!

I know there is much more in store

Let's open that door -!🎶

Nick looked over his shoulder and saw Summer doing the same thing. This was gonna be one for the books. Jaune watched from backstage with one of the stagehands.

Stagehand:Should we tell them to save their energy? This charity event is six hours.

Jaune:Nah, let them have fun.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #403

“ashes to ashes, watch me disappear”

If given the opportunity, would you like to star in a musical? Definitely not. I don't like musicals. Name one person you’d take a bullet for: There's honestly a lot, but Mom immediately came to mind. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah: Metallica and Marilyn Manson currently. I want lots more, especially an Ozzy one. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates. Do you share your bedroom with anyone? No, unless you include my cat and snake. Is your favorite color yellow? No, it's actually one of my least favorites. Were you born in a hospital? I was. Do you know the name of the person that delivered you? No, but Mom does. I think he delivered me and my two sisters, and I know Mom has seen him since for other reasons. Was your birth recorded? God no. Good call, Mom. Did you eat a peach this week? Would you believe me if I told you I had a small bit of peach pie for my sister's birthday? For some reason, I just really wanted to try some. It was okay, but the aftertaste sucked. Are you leaving the house tomorrow? Yes, for TMS therapy. Every weekday. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? I honestly do. If you could get free vocal lessons would you take them? Probably not. I don't like singing in front of anyone, and it's not like I wanna get anywhere with my singing, so. Is your mother diabetic? She is. Are you? No. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. What is your main responsibility each day? Be sure to take my medications. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. There are rare mornings where I forget, but I almost always remember. I don't fw skipping out on meds that keep my mental health stable. When was the last time you used spray paint? Good question. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Yep. Who is the friendliest person you know? My mom, probably. Something that annoys you about summer: THE HEAT. THE HUMIDITY. UGH. Something that annoys you about winter: Hm. That's hard to say, given I love winter. I guess the fact it doesn't snow enough here. Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side-by-side. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. Have you ever cried in a movie theater? Not sobbed or anything, but I've definitely teared up and gotten the sniffles because of multiple movies. Do you read comic books? No. Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved? No. Have you ever seriously pretended to be clinically insane? I didn't need to pretend; I'm pretty damn sure I was for a while. Might I add that it's EXTREMELY inconsiderate to pretend you're insane, btw. Insanity is not "cool." It's not "funny." It's not "edgy." It's a serious, confusing, heart-wrenching issue that can ruin lives. Do you know anyone with a stutter? Yes, myself included when I'm even mildly nervous. And sometimes just randomly. With a lisp? I don't believe so. What was the last board game you played? The Disney version of "Pretty Pretty Princess" w/ my niece and even my nephew, even though his sexist-ass dad didn't want him to. Like let your kid have some fun with his sister and aunt, goddamn. They had a blast. It was Aubree's birthday present from me, so I am SO glad she loved it. Did you win? Ha ha, no, I always let Aubree or Ryder win. I came super close once, but I let the kids bend the rules a bit. They don't like losing, and even though they definitely need to understand that just happens and is totally fine for it to, I wasn't about to be the one to make them sad about it. When was the last time you tried to speak with an accent? OH MY LAAAAAWWWWWWD. Also at Aubree's b-day party, at one point, I spoke in a snobbish British accent while I was winning at the aforementioned game. Ryder asked, "Why are you speaking Spanish?", and I fuckin DIED. Have you ever made up a word before? Yeah, I know at least a few instances for fantasy animals in writing. When was the last time you went to a museum? A couple summers ago when my brother and his son visited, we went to a science museum. My nephew was sooooo into it. Do you have a nice yard? If so, do you spend a lot of time outside in it? If not, where do you go when you want to relax outdoors on nice days? Our front and back yards are both small and honestly very boring. The grass is a pretty green, but that's the only nice thing about it. I don't go to sit outside here on any day. Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things? My parents and I have very similar music tastes, so there's that. I also didn't know for the longest time that Mom likes to write, which I sure as hell do, too! She doesn't really write anymore though, and she's self-conscious of it anyway, like I am. She and I also love a lot of the same shows. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? I think The Incredibles 2. I aaaalways wanted to know what happened after the end of the first film. Do you have any ideas for a story or movie you’re planning to write or you’d write if you had the time/had the talent? Please share a synopsis! I genuinely think some RP I've written is series-worthy, but I don't feel like re-writing the YEARS of RP into a book format, and I sincerely worry that the ridiculously dark parts could inspire people like serial killers and cause A LOT of controversy, crime-blaming, and just general hate. I don't want to be involved in that. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? Compliment my Markiplier tattoo, obviously knowing it's a tribute to him, and we're essentially besties. Is there a person in your life (maybe barely) that you feel in constant competition with (even just in your imagination)? Maybe you feel they are consistently outshining you? Ugh... there's a local photographer that's much more successful than I am that I admittedly am very envious of. I swear to whatever god you may believe in that I mean it from a modest perspective, I really, really do, but I genuinely think my skills surpasses hers, and she's only more prevalent because photography REALLY is about who you know. She's talented, yes, but like... come on. If you are single, even if you are normally happily single, are there certain specific things you witness that make you wish you were in a relationship (e.g., people getting engaged)? I mean yeah. I miss cuddling, holding hands, kissing, just being cute together, and especially people getting engaged or having kids. It's such a trigger to me. Once upon a time, that's all I wanted with Jason. I wanted to be that beautiful couple that got married and had two or three loved-beyond-words children, but then he left so abruptly, and I feel like it was so brutally robbed from me. I don't want kids anymore like at all, but the point still stands that I felt like my dreams were just ripped away. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? I use "Ozzkat" just about everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? OHHHHHHHHHH YEAH. There have been a couple days or so where I was totally glued to looking up various tattoo designs, bingeing let's plays or conspiracy theory videos, etc. etc. If you ever think about getting married, what are some aspects of the wedding that you would like to see in a non-traditional manner (e.g., a different color dress or “partners” over “husband” and “wife”)? I WILL NOT get married in a church, first of all. I'm also not having the traditional vows, and I probably won't wear a white dress, but instead black. Salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? Ohhhh, I like all those options but barbecue. I think I've gotta go with sour cream & onion, though. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? A D O R A B L E ! ! ! I think they're ordinarily geeky, but I mean, geeky is cute in my world. :^) Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? Angels, no. Spirits/ghosts, 100%. I don't exactly believe in demons, per se, but I do question if evil spirits can possess someone. What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? I've seen The Notebook numerous times. Name three countries you want to visit; why those three? South Africa to interact with meerkats at the KMP, somewhere up in Canada to see the Northern Lights, and Germany just because, really. I took German for four semesters, and the culture and all just interests me. Do you have a good luck charm? No, considering I don't believe they do jack. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Only Sara. Now that I have Discord semi-figured out now though, we'll probably use that for voice chatting. Are you allergic to any animals? I might be allergic to dogs. Do you usually spend your weekends out, or at home? I'm like... always at home. Do you think it’s wrong for people to say "retard/retarded" as an insult? Absofuckinglutely. Don't pull that shit when I'm around. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever lived through a hurricane? Plenty. Have you ever had a home-grown tomato? Yes, from my old friend's garden. We'd have delicious tomato, mayo, and bacon sandwiches. The only instance where I've enjoyed tomatoes. Have you ever held a real gun? The former friend I mentioned just before, her husband always carried a gun, and he just needed me to hold it for a sec for some reason I don't recall. I hated the feeling. Would you rather wear Converse or Vans? I like both, but I think I prefer Converse. Have you ever been called bipolar? Yes, because I clinically am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? FUCK no. And like the "retarded" thing, don't you fucking DARE to do this in front of me. I WILL deck the shit out of you. Do you think it’s okay to have sex before marriage? Sure, as long as you're being safe and are very thorough in communication. Do you like to watch old sitcoms? I don't really watch TV as I say in like every survey it seems, but I do enjoy some old sitcoms I grew up watching with my mom, like The Nanny, The Golden Girls, The Munsters, etc. If asked, could you run a mile nonstop right now? Being completely serious, I don't even know if I CAN physically run right now. My legs are so incredibly weak, and I'm humiliatingly close to what my heaviest weight was back in 2016, so I can almost guarantee my knees would crumple if I tried. Do you wear those rubber wristbands? I used to. I don't really like bracelets nowadays. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? Nope. Have you ever driven an electric car? No. When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with? Uhhhh idk. What breed was the last dog you saw? A fucking GOLIATH of a lab. I shit you not when I say my sister's roommate's dog Hudson is the size of a goddamn bear. How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): I wanna say they were together at the very least 20 years. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I once accidentally put something (I don't remember what) in the microwave for around 45 minutes I believe, and I walked away and completely forgot about it. I remembered a long while later, and safe to say, it wasn't edible, whatever it was, lmao. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No, but that'd be cool. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? Somewhere around two years ago? My memory is so garbage nowadays. Can you concentrate well while listening to music, or do you find it distracting? It's distracting, usually. What’s something you’ve been struggling with lately? I've been pretty bad about drinking too much soda lately. :/

[angelofthequeers]

Ladybug and Reine Nuit: Chapter 17

Dark Cupid I

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

I’m still salty that Kagami’s canon outfit is a literal school uniform because…she’s Japanese?

And Chloé seems pretty stagnant now but that’s because there’s not much pushing her to change. She’s still under the delusion that Adrien will eventually come back to her and she hasn’t hit rock bottom…yet.

@miraculousl4dybug​ @livinthebilife​ tagged as requested :)

Check out my Ko-fi for writing commissions!

Chapter 16 | Chapter 18

“In most fairy tales, the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess,” Ms Bustier says. “Can anyone tell us why?”

“Because only love can conquer hate!” Rose sighs. Although Adrien’s only half-listening to the lesson, his brain demonstrates its useful skill from years of home-schooling by still absorbing what’s being said while his focus remains on the terrifying project in front of him: a love letter. More specifically, a love poem. For Marinette.

Wait, what is he even thinking? This is a terrible idea! He’s going to utterly fail, and Marinette’s going to hate it, and their friendship will be over with a capital O, and they’ll never run away to an island far away from everything and live off nothing but fruit and get married and have two kids – or maybe three, depending on what Marinette wants – and a little pet hamster –

“Adrien, I hope what you’re writing has to do with my lesson.” Ms Bustier’s voice jolts him out of his panicked daze. “Can you tell me what I just said?”

“That's why in most fairy tales, the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess because only love conquers hate,” Adrien rattles off automatically.

“Very good!” Ms Bustier says just as the bell rings. The students immediately start packing up, so she calls out their homework for the night before they can start swarming to leave. “And Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!”

Adrien fumbles to pull a small box out of his pocket with trembling fingers as he, Marinette, Nino, and Alya emerge into the crowded courtyard. This is it. Even if he can’t go through with the poem, he can do this, right? This doesn’t require words –

“You got this for moi, Adrikins?” Chloé snatches the box from him and gives an exaggerated gasp when she opens it to reveal a small golden ring with a ruby set in the centre. “Oh, you shouldn’t have! I love you too!”

“I didn’t –”

“I’m flattered!” Chloé slides the ring onto her finger and holds it up to show everyone who’s stopped to investigate the noise. “I’ll be expecting you to pick me up tonight, Adrikins! Mwah!” She gives him a wet kiss on the cheek and saunters off, while girls everywhere rush after her, some of them even crying.

“But that’s not…for you…” Adrien sighs and looks down.

“Uh, is that thievery?” Nino said. “Dude, I’m pretty sure she robbed you.”

“Oooh, who was it for?” Alya says, nudging Adrien. “Who’s the lucky lady who’s caught Adrien’s eye?” The smirk on her face strikes fear into Adrien’s very soul. There’s no way Alya doesn’t know who he’s crushing on. No way at all.

“Alya, leave him alone,” Marinette chastises half-heartedly.

“Hey, my dad got akumatised two days ago because Kim thought he could run faster than a panther,” Alya says. “It’s either this or I sulk and ruin everyone’s day.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Adrien mumbles. “She wouldn’t be my Valentine anyway.”

“That’s a load of rubbish, Adrien Agreste!” Marinette snaps with her hands on her hips. “You’re a total dork, and you’re cute, and you’re really sweet, and anyone would be lucky to have you!”

Blood rushes to Adrien’s cheeks at Marinette’s vehement defence of him, especially with her beautiful face set in a scowl like an avenging angel from above. “Um – manks, Thari – I mean…thanks, Marinette.”

“She’s right, you know,” says a voice from behind her. Marinette steps aside to let Kagami walk next to her as they descend the school steps. “You need to be surer in yourself, Adrien. If you’re uncertain in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to be certain in you?”

Adrien sighs. “Thanks, Kagami. But she’s way out of my league.”

“Of course she is, if you let brats like that steal right from the palm of your hand.” Kagami jabs her thumb over at Chloé, who’s showing off “her” ring to a crowd of envious girls. Sabrina, who’s passing by with Alix and Nathaniel, blinks at Chloé and jumps away on autopilot. Alix and Nathaniel immediately sling their arms around her comfortingly and escort her away.

Poor Sabrina. Untangling herself from Chloé is a daily struggle for her, especially since she can’t even look at Chloé without starting to panic, no doubt triggered by her ordeal with Antibug. Her new style, divorced from her old one while still retaining her nerdy nature, is just one way she’s working on that, such as the white blouse and lilac cardigan she’s wearing with her royal blue plaid skirt today. The only reason she hasn’t moved to another class is because Alix and Nathaniel are the only people who seem to be willing to befriend Chloé’s Best Friend; even the other classes are well aware of Chloé Bourgeois and her reign of terror.

Adrien shakes himself out of his thoughts for the second time that day as they draw level with his car, where his bodyguard holds the back door open for him.

“Bye, dude,” Nino says, holding his hand out for a fist bump. Adrien bumps it and gets into his car, then rolls down his window to wave at his friends until his bodyguard drives off.

.

“So, Mari, who’s your friend?” Alya says with a nod at Kagami, trying to act like she’s never seen the girl before in her life. Even though she technically has. But no one’s supposed to know that she’s Reine Nuit. And Kagami’s wearing a different outfit to the fencing uniform she’d worn the first time Alya had seen her: a red sweater over a white collared button-up, both elbow-length, tucked into a black skirt, with black tights and red sneakers.

“Oh!” Marinette facepalms. “Alya, Nino, this is Kagami. We met her when she showed up to the fencing tryouts.”

“And got akumatised,” Kagami mutters.

“No sweat, dude,” Nino says. “I got akumatised too ‘cause Adrien’s dad wouldn’t let me throw him a party. It’s that dick Hawkmoth’s fault, not yours.”

Kagami frowns at Nino, as though she’s studying him in a new light.

“This is my best friend Alya,” Marinette says, gesturing to Alya. “And this is Adrien’s best friend Nino. Not that he’s not our friend, of course!”

“Operation Valentine’s Day is commencing!” Max announces from nearby. Alya, Marinette, Nino, and Kagami slow their pace to listen in. “According to my extensive research and cross-referencing of online shopping sites, this particular jewel –” He produces a heart-shaped box from behind his back and offers it to Kim, who opens it, “– was ranked highest in popularity.”

“That's perfect, Max!” Kim says. “I better hit a home run with this one. Love is like baseball, right? You gotta have a strategy or you'll strike out. But if you aim right, you'll hit it out of the ball park. Score!”

Alya lights up at this major crush scoop, and she drags Marinette over to the boys. Nino and Kagami exchange glances and follow them.

“Oh, yes, Kim, lovely metaphor,” Max says absently.

“Meta-who?” Kim says, looking inside the box again.

“Ooh, sparkly!” Alya pulls Kim’s hands down to see what’s inside the box, and she catches a glimpse of a golden heart-shaped brooch inlaid with sapphires. “Is that for moi? You know, to make up for getting my dad akumatised?”

“Negative, Alya,” Max says. “The recipient of this gem has already been determined. It’s –”

Kim grabs Max around the neck and slaps a palm over his mouth. “Shh!” the jock hisses. “Keep it on the down-low!”

“Omg! Kim’s got a major crush!” Alya giggles, giddy with Valentine’s-Day-by-proxy fever. Well, at least she seems to have moved past the Animan incident, if she’s not wanting to strangle Kim now. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“I don’t think that’s exactly appropriate to ask if he’s said he doesn’t want to disclose that information,” Kagami says. Kim shoots her a grateful look.

“Fine, fine,” Alya says. “I won’t pry.”

“It’s awesome, dude!” Nino says. “She’s gonna love it.”

“Technically, she's still gotta accept it,” Kim says, scratching the back of his head. His eyes widen. “What if she says no?”

“She won’t, Kim!” Marinette says, pumping her fist. “Don’t hold back! Go for it! No regrets!”

Kim grins and high-fives Max. “Operation Valentine’s Day is underway!” He starts jogging on the spot, while Max pulls out a map of the area.

“Her route is highlighted here in yellow, yours in red,” Max recites. “If you run at ten miles per hour, you're going to gain a four-and-a-half-minute advance on her. Halt and wait here facing northwest – the third most romantic spot in Paris.”

Alya and Marinette grin and shoot Kim encouraging thumbs-up.

“Go on, dude!” Nino says. “Knock her over!”

“Thanks, guys!” Kim says before sprinting away.

“Come on!” Alya says to Kagami and Nino. “I bet we can get Marinette’s papa to sneak us some of their Valentine’s Day treats!”

“I don’t know…” Kagami says. “I should have called my driver minutes ago.”

“Dude, Adrien’s getting pushed around by his schedule enough,” Nino says. “Fight the system!”

Alya and Marinette raise their eyebrows at him. Kagami takes a deep breath, then types a message on her phone.

“I told my driver to wait an hour before picking me up, so that I can spend time with Adrien and develop our friendship. My mother will be displeased, but I’ll offer her extra training to compensate for this. I just hope she doesn’t realise that I’m lying.”

“Hey, rich kids gotta stick together, right?” Alya teases. Kagami, who looks a little pale, just raises an eyebrow at her.

“Yay!” Marinette hugs Kagami. “Come on! If we hurry, we’ll make it before Papa sells all the treats!”

As they’re sprinting down a street and weaving between shoppers, Marinette crashes into someone and shrieks as they both lose their balance. Acting on superhero reflexes, Alya grabs Marinette and keeps her on her feet, while Kagami catches the other person.

“Adrien?” she says as the person groans. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be at home?”

“I –” Adrien stuffs something into his bag and grins sheepishly. “Nothing! I just…wanted to get out of the car…”

“You’re a horrible liar, Agreste,” Kagami says. “Although at least I’m technically not lying now.”

Just then, everyone’s phones except for Kagami’s buzz, and Alya gasps when she’s fished hers out and sees what Chloé’s sent them.

“That witch!” she hisses, angling her phone so that Kagami can see the picture of Kim kneeling and covered in trash.

“Nothing I say is even doing anything!” Adrien’s shoulders slump. “I thought she really valued our friendship enough to want to become a better person. Maybe if I give a little and talk to her to nudge her –”

“Nope,” Alya says immediately. “That’s what she wants. You give her an inch, she’ll take a mile.”

“It’s not your responsibility to make her change, dude,” Nino agrees.

“Some people just won’t change,” Kagami says. “You just need to –” Her eyes widen. “Look out!”

Alya has just enough time to register the winged red and black figure behind Adrien before they’re nocking an arrow to their bow and shooting straight at Marinette. Before a wide-eyed Marinette can so much as blink in reaction, Adrien’s throwing himself in front of her with his arms out, taking the arrow straight to his chest.

“Adrien!” Marinette gasps as he doubles over, while the arrow dissolves. “Oh my gosh, are you okay? What did he do to you?”

“I – I –” Adrien straightens up and rips himself free of Marinette’s grasp. His lips, curved in a snarl, are now pitch black. “I loathe you, Marinette! Everyone thinks you’re such a perfect princess!” He grins cruelly at Kagami. “We both know I won that point, Kagami. Marinette’s just too sickeningly soft to stand by her judgement. Always afraid to hurt other people like the disgusting angel she is!”

“Come on, dude!” Nino grabs Marinette’s arm and drags her out of the way of another arrow. “We gotta get out of here!”

“But what about Adrien?” Marinette protests. Kagami and Alya grab her other arm.

“Nothing we can do for him right now,” Alya says. “We just gotta wait for Ladybug and Reine Nuit to show up!”

Her words seem to pierce through Marinette’s daze like one of the akuma’s arrows, because Marinette shakes her head and flees the scene with her friends, ducking and darting around the screaming passers-by. A good distance away, Alya ‘accidentally’ loses her grip on Marinette and lets herself get sucked into the crowd, pretending she doesn’t hear her friends’ cries. Once she’s able to extract herself from the panicking people, she darts down an alleyway and cries, “Plagg, claws out!”

As Reine Nuit, she leaps out and elbows her way through the crowd back to where the akuma had been, but he’s nowhere in sight. Thankfully, an angel of an entirely different kind lands next to her and says, “It’s Kim! Hawkmoth must have gotten him after Chloé did that.”

“I wish I could slap her and get away with it,” Reine Nuit huffs, crossing her arms.

“Ladybug! Reine Nuit!” Nino skids to a halt, with Kagami following at a more dignified pace. “Marinette and Alya! We lost ‘em – they could be –”

“Marinette’s safe,” Ladybug says quickly. “I got her out of here. She told me that it’s Kim and the akuma has to be in the pin she saw – the one he wanted to give to Chloé.”

Of course! “Alya’s safe too,” Reine Nuit says. “Pulled her out of the way just in time. You guys need to get somewhere safe. Angel bug and I have to…” She shudders. “Protect Chloé.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ladybug says cheerfully with a wide, plastic smile. “Let’s go!”

They bound towards Le Grand Paris, praying that they won’t be too late – although in Reine Nuit’s case at least, it’s more because it’ll be a pain to predict where he’s going once he’s got his revenge on Chloé. They arrive just in time; Chloé’s about to enter the hotel, and Kim is nearby with an arrow ready. Just as he’s about to shoot, Ladybug catches his wrist with her yo-yo and yanks his aim off.

“Ladybug!” he snarls, whirling to face them on their rooftop. Chloé screams and runs away down the street.

“Stop it, Kim!” Ladybug says.

“I’m not Kim! I’m Dark Cupid, and I’ll never stop! If I can’t have love, then no one can!”

“Okay, Dark Cupid, I get it.” Ladybug holds her hands up placatingly. “Chloé totally burned you. But that doesn't mean you have to take it out on all of Paris!”

“Oh, yes I do! I won't stop until everyone's heart is crushed. Say adios to your loved ones. From now on, you'll hate them!”

Dark Cupid shoots arrow after arrow at Ladybug and Reine Nuit, who use their yo-yo and staff to deflect them. But they can’t win like this; they’re on the defensive, and they can’t stay like this forever. All it’ll take is one arrow to slip through their guard.

It happens almost in slow motion. Just as Dark Cupid fires another arrow, Ladybug slips and loses her footing, throwing her yo-yo at a chimney to stop herself from falling off the roof. But this lets the arrow strike her directly in the centre of her back.

“Ladybug!” Reine Nuit dodges another arrow and throws herself down next to Ladybug, whose entire body is tense and trembling. “Are you okay?”

“Reine Nuit,” Ladybug gasps. She looks up, her lips now jet-black, and all the tension melts out of her body. “I hate you!”

“Hey, snap out of it!” Reine Nuit tries to shake her partner’s shoulders, but Ladybug slaps her across the face and then straddles her to keep her pinned. Reine Nuit struggles to stop her body from tingling and flushing. Okay, so she’s had fantasies of being pinned by Ladybug, but not like this.

“You’re the worst partner I could’ve asked for, ditzy kitty!” Ladybug snarls. “What good are you? What, you can pop a Cataclysm or two? I could’ve gotten by perfectly well without your little power!” She smirks. “But you can’t do a thing without my powers, can you? You’re useless!”

Sorry about this, Reine Nuit thinks. She forces her baton under Ladybug’s stomach, then extends it to send Ladybug flying along the rooftop. Before the brainwashed hero can recover, Reine Nuit leaps off the roof and takes off down the street, ducking for cover to try and throw Ladybug and Dark Cupid off her trail if they follow her. It’s not until she’s a few blocks away that she finally allows herself to sag against a brick wall, panting and trying to resist the urge to thump the back of her head on the wall repeatedly.

Great. Ladybug’s gone. And she’s the only one who can purify the akuma. What is Reine Nuit going to do? Ladybug had been right when she’d said that Reine Nuit is useless without her.

Snap out of it! Reine Nuit shakes her head. Save Ladybug now, mope later. She’s a hero. So, she has to act like one.

[icharchivist]

perso-rant underneath and at first i intended it to be more light hearted but welp cant dive into myself without digging the bad stuff so just ignore this as rambling.

(idk if the cut works on mobile so as usual blacklist #ichapersonal to skip it , its quite long)

its night and im noisy and all but yknow part of the reason m/lb is such a healing show for me and i rewatch it every couple of days?

i cry everytime M.arinette's family is on screen pretty badly bc i get so envious all the time. i hate my shitty family (and often can relate to A.drien's ressentment) so just seeing such a /healthy/ family being often shown litterally brings me to tears. im like C.hat in the animan episode when he stares at the family picture with a sweet smile (another detail that stupidly make me cry who allowed th i s)

like. i dont relate to A.drien's relation to his family but some of the emotional effects is often a moment of "welp. mood." and being kinda sad /for him/ even if i can feel it for myself too. but then with M.arinette's family everytime they get to be on screen i realize how happy this sort of dynamic makes me and it makes me /so envious/.

like my mom is an artist and an excellent cook but she always barred those interests from me bc it was /hers/ and it was for /her ego/ and this attitude just killed every curiosity i had and remplaced it with a complete unability to care.

i used to bake as a kid but my mom was always shutting down everything i was doing, and if i was asking for help or recieps she would just tell le "it's a secret just watch " and never letting me know tf she was doing so i stopped lmao. everytime ive tried meals since it was only for myself and with a hard mocking from family and mom saying she had a better recieps and i should just let her do so i dont even try it often. (moreeven now that the kitchen is opened to the living room and they're super judgemental when im in it)

i was messing with drawings and paints in her workshop when i was a kid but she would always point out flaws and take my tools to correct it without telling nor showing me how and it killed it, it took me until my 14yo to start doing mindless doodles and then my breakdown when i was about 20 to seriously try back to draw and do art and try different tools (until my right hand made it impossible for me to hold a tool and the failure still feels yknow)

i wanted to sew things and make clothes (at the time for my dolls) but my mom was never letting me touch the tools (that we HAD since not only she made clothes but her mom actually had a fabrique shop. like. right next door. i think it became part of my mom's trauma hating her mom and refusing us to connect with her, more so with what happened when i was 7 and we lost contact with them but still, the damn irony. and i cant remember if my grandma ever let me close her sewing material but i was a damn kid after all) so this is another thing i didnt pursue

i wanted to pick up music (piano mostly) bc my uncle is a musician but my parents never wanted to invest in that because they already gave a piano to my sister (that i wasnt allowed to use) so ye that was dropped lmao

and i started to write when i was about 11 and it was that /one thing/ i didnt need help for from anyone, completely self taught, with my own ways and tools, and my parents were always dismissive of it, never listening to me, always telling me it wasnt important, that i should focus on something else, and after other circumstances that added to that i dropped writting around my 17/18yo and it had been painful to even try to write again since.(i came back to writing around my 20yo a bit before my breakdown but after it happened it started to die out and i felt exhausted and stopped after a few months and since then i've never been able to pick up writing again ay.)

(and im not touching the obsessive elements bc like- the fact she does it for her crush makes it different, but the sort of things she does? taking pictures and putting them everywhere in her room when she hyperfixates, making overcomplicated schedules and such? i litteraly do that with fiction. i made a freaking timeline for this show. i am currently working on organizing codex from d.a and an approval guide for christ sake. and im not talking about my multiple fandom shrines in my room and the fact i legit have one for m/lb made from pictures found on merchs.

or also the fact i have a lot of passions i'd love to share and seeing M. play video games with her dad for exemple makes me so bitter when all i get is backhanded insults from my parents when i bring it up.)

So sometimes i see M. and part of me is just in awe, loving everything about her. the other part of me tho... i feel... a bit robbed? like she's such a creative kid, she's incredible and she inspires me everyday, and i cant help but think how i would have adored her when i was a kid. (im not even kidding, as a kid i requested my mom a costume of black cat for h.alloween and a l.adybug costume for the carnaval. i have pictures of that at my dad's place sadly it kills me. also my room when i was a kid used to be covered with l.adybug stickers like. HELL my mom doesnt care about my interests but last year she bought me a M/LB winter callendar (bc its been years i was mentioning i wanted one, a selfish whim but oh well) and i had a huge double take bc i was certain she didnt remember me talking about this show- and she did not. when i asked her why, she legit told me "because she reminded me of you as a kid with your pigtails your obsession for l.adybugs". like!! i cant even stress how kid!me would have adored this show and especially LB./M.) (the pigtails too this time i have proofs around there i used to carry them all the time until i was bullied for it at school. (bullying at school instead of good friends also adds to the difference in question tbh lmao))

there is something so... weird into seeing the parts of yourself that you cut yourself from in a character, and see that the main difference is because of how the family (and bullies) treated those elements so drastically differently.

my family was always neglectful but differently than A.. the things i relate to with him is how he specifically still holds on hope that his father will do better at least just for one day and his reaction when he's left down saying he's just used to it. and like normal, not every kind of abuse are the same and all but i still relate enough to feel sad.

but M. is always a whiplash of feelings like i could have been this sort of girl in a better environment.

at 13/14yo she was already making stuff up, baking, designing clothes, doing art, she was doing so many things, even forgetting the superhero part. she was being happy being a creator at her pace and with encouragement. at 13/14yo i was starting to show concerning signs of d.epression because i was trying to handle my parents's divorces and the multiple trials that followed that /i/ had to handle by finding middle grounds, allowing some of my father's blackmail to avoid worse, and by litterally having to collect infos from mails everytime to prove against some of his arguments to the judges. and my sister refusing to talk to us for a year, which caused us basically to feel very bad thinking of the eldest sister who ran away from home, and having to handle my father's harrasment and emotional abuse of constantly belittling me (fuck this was the age he legit told me i would probably end up a p.rostitute so ye!!! fuck that!!!) andd the fact my mom was also falling apart from all of it on me and i was always supposed to cheer her up while i was having a hard time in a new school and new environment away from the very few friends i had and again feeling abandonned by my sister which freaking sucks after already had suffered that from our eldest one.

but M. makes me cry every. goddam. rewatch. its like maybe the ultimate wish fufilling story of just how i would have loved my family to be. of how i think i could have turned up.

and that realization hits so badly everytime.

there's a thing with my hyperfixations where i'll always find a way to tie it back to my traumas. i dont know if im pulling straws, or if the things are there. for having watched m.lb when it came out unfazed and only got hit with that realization upon rewatching- i feel it was more me realizing "there is something there that is touching me more than before" and having an introspection to get it.

and i think the difference is that- before my breakdown the characters and stories i related to where the eternal optimistic-yet-damaged "never give up!" type of characters. When things started to go downhill to my breakdown and since then the fictions that talked to me the most were all dealing with guilt coming from toxic environment that werent your fault per se but you pierceved that way. my way to relate were to characters who felt deeply connected to their guilt (peak being c.loud of f.f7 that even topped it with the deadly skin disease making him lose will to live (because ye that happened. still hate to watch out for that so ye), and memories issues, you would have told me at 13yo when i first watched that movie that this would be what i would relate to him about 7 years later i would have laughed at your face.), which translated with pushing people away and self destructing habits.

and i know i watched m.lb the first time around that time, when i was 20/21. and that may be why i didnt feel that. that my concerns were too elsewhere to realize that. That i was too focalized on how i felt like i failed by suddenly breaking under the pressure, having all the things i've kept burried kicking me out at once, and that i couldnt afford to be a burden to anyone. and it translated with me loving characters like that because in most cases their friends ended up reminding them of what was important - and sometimes just getting frustrated about your fav being as dumb as it forces you to pull yourself back together lmao. not always working but it was there.

now im 23. i cut ties with my father for about 3/4 years now, with all the shitty things that ensued out of the last trial where he sued me and his still-happening harrasment (sometimes silly sometimes scary). My mom and step dad are suffocating me more and more everyday. my health had become so disastrous i cant even manage to go school or find a job. And more than ever im frustrated and angry.

and i think it may be a shown of recovery? perhaps linked to therapy? of while i still have guilt of falling apart- /they/ are the reason i fell apart. and I'm yet to have proper apologizes for it. i grew furious at my family. of how much i feel robbed.

lately im so angry at everything i lost, was taken of, stolen childhood all of that- because of my parents, mainly. (hell even the bullying at school - in primary school it apparently started bc of gossips about why my eldest sister ran away from home, and in middle school it was first bc my parents insisted on sending me to private school where i was an outcast. which then had me truly embrassing the outcast persona that had made it impossible for me to be at peace in the two others middle schools i went to. highschool saved my social life tbh).

i think it's therapy and recovery that is making me shift the blame and feel so angry at them. so bitter. and suddenly i see in an innocent kid show a "what could have been". same starting personality, different people to channel this.

and this is. frustrating.

but it makes me love it even more. idk if its driving anything else than ressentment but at least for the time of an episode I'm in a bubble of a.lternative universe where i can forget about my life and feel satisfied at once.

like finding a piece of myself that i deliberately broke and burried to never think about it again, and realize far later how it missed to the whole, and how damaged this piece is now, but still is.

and there is something incredibly healing about that. i would never have thought there would be this much healing out of this anger and yet satisfaction. what a strange feeling.

fiction is funny that way. the things people can get out of it to deal with their own psyche are so different one person to the next.

it's just so weird for me to go from "i relate to the horrors this character went through" to "and fuck those horrors. let me think about what could have been if this didnt happen."

even moreso knowing i had this piece of fiction before and didnt approach it that way. there's a time and a mindset for everything. apparently now was the best mindset for me huh

.......

so ye apparently i cant like something like a normal person and have to go on about how it connects to my deeply rooted traumas lmao.

anyway it's been eating me up for weeks now and it's 4:45am i have absolutly no impulse holding me back. if you sat through this piece of work im sorry. just needed it to get it out of my chest.

i'll go back to hugging my cheap-yet-lifesaving c.laire's l.adybug pillow now

good night o/

[rachello344]

FanFic ask game: B, I, M, S, T, U, and X!

Thank you so much!  These were all super cool to think about!!!  

B.  Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?Quite a few!  A lot of my really sappy, domestic KaiShin stuff is based on my own life with a roommate I’m super close to.  We aren’t romantic, but I think a strong romance should be built on a solid foundation of friendship and family feelings.  You should like spending time quietly with the one you love, so a lot of those quiet little things I pull from my own life.  ^^  I couldn’t give you a direct example off hand, but that domestic vibe comes straight from my own life, wholesale.  (Bits of dialogue and characterization often do as well, but that’s a lot harder to pin down than a mood, I think.)

I.  Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?Kind of?  For writing, I take a possibly perverse pleasure in killing off characters I hate.  When I was first getting into writing I actually had an OC for that exact purpose.  I would give him traits I hated, and then kill him off.  It was very therapeutic.  I mostly keep that sort of thing to myself nowadays, but the pleasure is still there.  The character is usually harder to come by now, though.  Most characters I could take or leave.  There are very few that I could be said to really hate.And for reading, I read a lot of really filthy smut, actually.  I won’t tell you which kinks or anything, but a lot of them are... really weird.  Otherwise, I don’t actually feel much guilt about what I read or write (or generally enjoy), so I don’t really have a hard and fast guilty pleasure.

M.  Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?I’ve been thinking of this one KaiShin fic for AGES, actually.  Basically, Kaito is a celebrity, maybe as an actor, maybe as a magician, and he ends up hiring Shinichi as his agent.  (Shinichi is a GREAT agent, he’s just a little on the stiff side.)  Kaito falls for him, but Shinichi is a professional, so he keeps his feelings out of his work.  He also thinks Kaito is just a flirt, so his teasing doesn’t mean anything.  It would be from Kaito’s POV, I think, and take place over the course of a movie’s PR cycle or something.

S.  Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?Arranged marriage (especially political or fantasy based) and werewolves/good ABO.  I will drop everything to read those.  Especially combinations, like someone is arranged to marry into a wolf pack for a treaty.  

T.  Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?I hate when people make 20-somethings out to be “parents,” especially of teenagers.  I am not a parent, I’m an older sister.  MAYBE a young aunt of a small child.  If they actually ARE parents, and it’s kid fic, that’s one thing, but like the Team Parents trend needs to die.  (@ VLD, @ YoI)  Obviously people will like what they like, so it really only bothers me if that’s like.  The ONLY thing in the fandom.  Otherwise I’ll read about anything, as long as it’s a ship I like.  (I’m also kind of leery of the insistence on multi-shipping nowadays, but maybe that’s just me being stubborn.  I’m still an OTP kinda girl.  One true pairing per fandom (that I ship exclusively), and the others can pair up with whoever.)

U.  Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.@lunarscaped (lunadarkside) as always ;D  I’ve always been super envious of her descriptions and her emotional language.  I want to get that kind of emotional intensity into my own writing.  ^^@atomicblonde (lalazee) is a writer I’ve admired for... God, something like eight years?!  She wrote (writes?) super great Star Trek fic--some of the best Kirk/Spock I’ve read, actually--and lately, she’s started writing AMAZING BakuDeku.  (God Bless @mgcmind is, of course, one of my faves (in general, but especially for Lawlight)~  Everything she’s written has been great, especially Seeking His Hand, obviously.  No other fic in recent years has had me gasping like some kind of Victorian maiden, clutching my pearls.  It is a downright incredible slowburn.  I await each update with baited breath~  Oh, and Kratos_Aurion (on AO3) writes this REALLY great ABO Lawlight fic (Into the Grey) that I’ve been keeping up with.  The mystery elements and the suspense of the main plot, coupled with the slowburn romance make for a GREAT read.  It does a great job balancing the complications of a world with ABO dynamics with the personalities of the major players.  It updates fairly regularly and I highly recommend it.  ;D

X.  A character you enjoy making suffer.0tabek A/tin.  I hate him.  I know that’s an unpopular opinion, but I honestly can’t stand what he’s become.  It makes me hella petty, but that’s something I’m willing to accept about myself.  So, I tend to take out my aggression on him.  As far as the “characters I love that I also want to suffer” I can’t really say I have any.  I like making characters I like happy.  The struggles are generally incidental to the larger plot, not the purpose of the plot, you feel me?

[fakeasskpop]

AO3 Fic Rec

*** are personal favourites

BTS:

All:

The Adventures of BTS (Barely Trained Superheroes) by  blurrylines

Super Heroes Academy AU. Seven different boys each possess a unique Power, to be trained and controlled within the classrooms of the Academy. In a surprising turn of events, the unlikely group of boys must work together to overcome the greatest threat to their Academy and all they believe in.

Taegi:

large, extra cheese, extra sauce (extra you) by vminism

Taehyung starts everything by procrastinating. Even unhealthy crushes on the pizza delivery boy.

the engineers of a special kind of craft by peachguk

A merge of requests, but he likes ‘im anyway.

dream on you (dream on me) by jaqueenilini

In which Yoongi can't sleep and only Taehyung can help

Home (It's With You) by arabellarosebts

Bangtan gets the gift of going home for Christmas ~ Taehyung & Yoongi go back to Daegu

Taekook:

pick me up, buttercup by vppa

AU where your soulmate's first words to you will be tattooed on your wrist when you meet. Which freakin sucks, because Jungkook's forearm will now forever read "Hey baby, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first." What the fuck, universe.

whatta man (good man) by aeterisks

Out of all the kinds of blogs Jeon Jeongguk could have run, never in a million years Taehyung would have expected him to have a porn blog. (Or, Jeongguk runs a porn blog and Taehyung not so accidentally finds it.)

Be My Eyes by jxnghoseok

Blind au

***the moon and the stars (are nothing without you) bywowoashley

based off the prompt: "Taekook college AU! The college tour guide raved about the uni's friendly atmosphere and amicable student body, but wanted a high five from a cute student and all he got was a glare"

five fingers on it (hit it like you own it) by prkjimin

“it's nothing that bad, gukkie. i just want to be choked a little, maybe. pin me down, pull my hair, call me names. nothing too intense, but everyone's too delicate, or they just don't do it right.” taehyung complains and suddenly sitting so close feels like a bad idea to jeongguk.

Shameless by foolishbangtan

it started out as a simple gesture, a normal pat on the ass. neither of them anticipated this.

Let me Dream with the Stars by hippocrates (BlueCyanide)

Falling in love with Kim Taehyung is easy.

hide in you awhile by gentlestars

“Come on,” Jeongguk says, long fingers tangling up with Taehyung’s and he squeezes his hand. He motions with a simple nod of his head towards the bathroom door. “Come take a bath with me.”

Under The Rug by dehluxes

Taehyung didn’t know when all of it exactly started. Probably yesterday, when Jeongguk texted him about the date he attended and Taehyung knew he shouldn’t have felt envious of the fact but he still did. Or probably when he got in the basketball varsity and, the famous, Jeon Jeongguk smiled at him so genuinely while welcoming him to the team. Maybe not that, maybe it was the time when Jeongguk told him that he felt most comfortable with Taehyung than with anyone else in the team, that the bond between them was tight and healthy. If it’s not one of those three things, it could have possibly been the time when Jeongguk told him that Taehyung made him the happiest with the biggest smile on his face while looking at Taehyung so fondly.

I Missed You (Did You Miss Me Too?) by officialkth

Taehyung gets home from America, Jeongguk wonders if Taehyung is as happy to see him as he is to see Taehyung.

it was a big world (but we thought we were bigger) by  jhopeg

At the age of five, Jeongguk wanted to hate Taehyung. At the age of sixteen, Jeongguk wanted to kiss Taehyung. At the age of eighteen, Jeongguk really didn't know what he wanted. The story of two childhood friends slowly inching towards each other.

you're my favorite song by heytaetae

taehyung goes on to too many dates and jungkook can only wait

You been ridin' three-wheelers all your life (and I mean literally) by  chardonnay

Jeongguk is pretty damn sure that cycling isn't a life skill. Like what could you even do? He can probably run faster than Taehyung can ever pedal on his crackpot bike, but okay. Whatever he says.

fever chills by  cleo_withoutthepatra

"Taehyung looks down at the thermometer and feels his blood run cold and there it is - the moment you realize you've let things go on how they are for too long and now it's too late." or, alternatively: the one where jungkook works himself straight into sickness (per usual), only this time is different and the hyungs don't know what to do

***Taehyung's Currency by TaeAndKookies

The five times they kiss and the one time it means something.

before the tide by blushmark

Taehyung is full of great ideas, starting with convincing his bandmates to go on a beach vacation. Or: 5 times Taehyung doesn't act like a hyung and 1 time he does

***Hercules by GinForInk

Taehyung forgets his strength kink until Jungkook picks him up during a group project meeting.

love is a laserquest by sassyneki 

When Jeongguk's wet dreams turn into daydreams about his best friend—furniture shops, purple daisies, and all—he knows he's fucked.

Feel it Kicking in by  rix

Jeongguk and Taehyung are just riding it out together, getting high on waves and drugs and each other—platonically, of course.

hold me like i'm hope by jjks

“Uh,” he says eloquently, looking back at Taehyung. “Do you, like, want something?” “Nah, I’m just popping in,” Taehyung says, looking around the place again. Jeongguk stares at him in confusion. “Wh–” he starts to ask when he’s interrupted by Taehyung grinning at him. “Yeah, I’d like to schedule a time to get a tattoo.” “Of course he wants a fucking tattoo, dumbass, why do you think he’s here?” It’s Hoseok, and honestly that warrants another punch to the shoulder, but Jeongguk decides to play it nice. He’s a good boy. OR: let me present to you the most cliché trope of all, starring tattoo artist jeon jeongguk & florist kim taehyung.

Yoonjin:

***Laws of Attraction by whenflowersbloom 

Jin leaves to film Law of the Jungle. Yoongi shouldn’t be missing him that much, right? Right.

The Garden of Words by  miskeen 

just a lazy sunday afternoon with a pair of boyfriends

I could take you home (if you let me) by beeminie 

The issue about having a dog isn’t that it can be an absolute hell sometimes. The issue about having a dog like Jjanggu is that it’s always an absolute hell.

Yoonjin oneshots by baapsae

A collection of short yoonjin stories

***Cleaning House by itsdatrollmon

“Oh my god, that is it!” Seokjin bursts into the bathroom, where Hoseok is not-so-miserably cleaning the toilet because yeah, it’s the grossest chore in the entire dorm but if he doesn’t do it then who will (nobody, that’s who). -- In which Seokjin has had enough of being the 'mother-in-law' of the house, Yoongi has a lot of things he isn't saying, and Hoseok plays mediator.

Bed Space by troubleseason 

Sometimes comfort isn't just a place, it's a person.

Namjin:

I Dream in the Shape of Your Mouth by jonghyun

Seokjin spends a lot of time in the library. Now, Namjoon does too. Taemin tries to summon Satan, and Jimin is a fuckboy.

***all you need is love (and pink) by vppa

Most people only have one miniature angel or devil riding on their shoulders to serve as the physical manifestation of their conscience. Poor Namjoon has five, and they're all telling him the same thing: "fucking talk to him god dammit what the fuck is wrong with you"

Four Years by serenemelodies 

There’s slow and then there’s glacial.

***Beta Tau Sigma by bazooka

A collection of events occurring within (and without) the walls of the Beta Tau Sigma fraternity house. At Beta Tau Sigma, there are only a few rules: 1) have a declared major in the College of Music; 2) keep your GPA above a 3.4; 3) don't let Taehyung into the liquor cabinet; 4) don't fuck up with Kim Seokjin. The rest is all fine print.

Yoonseok:

Hyung, Let's Play A Game by Lindanele

Hoseok has always wanted Yoongi to look at him. Shame Yoongi is too busy looking at someone else. *Dope Era*

I'm Looking at the World in Your Eyes by infinitizeit 

Yoongi has been busy with work and Hoseok is more than patient and lovely as usual.

Yoonkook:

can you trust me? by minniemonnie 

Jungkook takes a deep breath, “ I t-think,” he curses himself for stuttering. “I think I’m gay.” Silence.

over time (i love you more) by heartbee4

Jungkook stopped signing in shock, staring at Yoongi, mouth slightly agape. Yoongi didn’t look away, refused to; he watched every expression that ran over Jungkook’s face – surprise, confusion, fondness, happiness, love. (or: Yoongi learns sign language to communicate with Jungkook).

***riding the wavelength by siderum  ONGOING

"i was asking jungkookie about how yoongi hyung and he could read each other's minds, and yoongi hyung was completely out of earshot, but when i said, 'is it dark in there?' hyung told me to shut up from the other side of the room. he wasn't even looking up from his phone" - park jimin

Window of Sin™ by yoooongi (Stellaluciano)

Yoongi expects a kid Jungkook is most certainly not a kid you can see where this is going

9 Benefits to Dating Min Yoongi by Haru207

On most days, Jungkook thinks to himself that there are definitely benefits to having Yoongi as a boyfriend. First. It means that it only took Jungkook nineteen years of living to discover that anime hair colours can actually look fashionable.

***You Stir up a McFlurry in My Heart by tau

Jungkook is completely and utterly screwed the moment he develops a crush on the voice behind the McDonald’s Drive Thru speaker.

HopeKook:

No One But Me by Lindanele

Jungkook loved his boyfriend to death, but damn could Hoseok be oblivious. (aka Jungkook is a jealous boyfriend and Hoseok can’t take a hint)

VHope:

Dancing on Quicksand by lethallergic

Who needs a functional relationship when you dig your step-sister's boyfriend? Not Taehyung.

VMin:

it's your heart i wanna live (& sleep) in by knth

The first time Jimin sleeps over at Taehyung's, it's an emergency. The other times after? That's a different story.

our sinking friendships (we drown them all) by skateboardsound

Like most bad decisions, it could be traced back to cheap alcohol—the kind with a taste that clung to your tongue too long and gave you a hangover before the high was over. And like most bad decisions, it had also seemed like a great idea at the time.

for you, anything. by kadotas

in which Taehyung and Jimin navigate through married life together, realising belatedly that it’s not always smooth sailing.

Taehyung:

***i do by skswriting

“Are you guys going on a date?” “We’re headed to the bridal show.” You and Taehyung go to a bridal show for the food and end up with more than you bargained for. In the best way possible. white lines, pretty baby by darkparadises (queenhinata)

[ecotone99]

[MF] Heidi Gardner

The Flight

Somehow, LAX seemed completely transformed. I knew they were doing renovations, but I didn’t know it’d be so...complete. Throughout my life, I knew the airport to be simultaneously over-sanitized and gross. It was like a clean trashcan, I guess, Lysol fresh, but still a trash can. You didn’t exactly want to stick your hands in it, but if you accidentally dropped like, a wallet or an unwrapped packet of gum that you forgot in your shopping bag in it, you’d reluctantly fish it out.

As my sister drove me through the massively tall stone entryway on LAX that fateful morning five years ago, I had a feeling that I was in for an entirely different experience. It almost felt like I was entering the gates of a modern Hogwarts. It felt like a holy place.

“So where exactly are you going again?” my sister glanced sideways at me, her brown eyes only vaguely interested.

“Chicago. Field trip for school.” I replied.

“Fucking field trip. What the hell.”

“Welcome to grad school. Nothing but expenses.”

“Why would anyone want to leave California anyway? We have everything here.” She made it sound sarcastic, but I knew she wasn’t joking. Mostly, I agreed with her. I liked travelling, but California was home. I sometimes imagined myself living somewhere else, like New York, or New Orleans, or Portland or Denver, but by the end of the daydream, I always settled back into my reality, the Golden State, comfortable and immovable.

We pulled up to the drop-off area. I grabbed my duffel and my carry-on and got out of the car, expressing my thanks with the promise of a Venmo transaction. She left me in front of massive, ornate wood double doors. The new appearance of LAX continued to baffle me.

The foyer featured black-and-white checkered floors, the likes of which I’d only seen on TV. Beyond the foyer, checking procedures went on as I remembered them from before, sans snotty kids and stressed parents with dead eyes. I wondered if there was a special place in the airport just for them. Somewhere with five Starbucks in a row so everyone could get their caffeine fix with minimal wait time.

I stepped up to a self-check in machine and boop-beeped until my boarding pass slid out. I rose my head to find the baggage check-in area and instead, my eyes met Katie’s. My breath caught a little.

Katie was one of my classmates. Her work was almost as perfect as her impeccable style and manner, so naturally I decided to hate her. It wasn’t rational, and I didn’t really hate her, but I felt that hating her was more bearable than being envious of her.

I mean, I knew it was my decision to dress like a Hollywood rat and bullshit my way through grad school - it didn’t seem to affect my grades negatively - but still. And now here she was, and my breath was gone?

It didn’t make sense. On top of everything, Katie looked a lot like Heidi Gardner. As much as I enjoyed Heidi Gardner on SNL, she reminded me of an old co-worker of mine that I hated, because they also looked similar. Whenever I hated someone, like truly hated someone, not envy disguised as hatred, I felt compelled to find out as much about them as was possible without actually talking to them.This also didn’t make sense. My brain was, and still is, a dumpster fire.

Point is, it made no sense to me that my breath would be taken away by this goody-two shoes that looked like Heidi Gardner/my ex-coworker.

I think it was the uniform. I had always been a sucker for uniforms, and Katie was wearing what appeared to be the new LAX employee garb: a red and gold bellhop-y getup, complete with the bellhop-style hat. It was cute. My mind rushed back to days in class when I sat behind Katie, her yellow hair cascading down her back. I thought of the way she smelled when she’d pass by, like fresh rain on spring grass, and it hit me like a ton of molasses. Clearly I was not just envious of Katie, and I definitely did not hate her in the slightest. I had a crush on her, and hadn’t realized it until just then. Fun. Shit.

“Hey Camille! Wow, ready to get to Chicago?” she said cheerily, while picking up my duffel bag.

“Hey, Katie, you don’t have to do that, I got it.” I gestured at my bag.

“It’s okay, it’s my job, and I can get it checked in really quick for you.”

“Okay...well, thanks, I apprec-”

“Aren’t you just so excited for the trip? I was a little irritated at first - losing work hours - but then again who wants to work in this dump?” She gestured at the marble columns, top shelf only bar, and Eames furniture within the pristine room.

“Not me.” I said lamely, trying to be agreeable and not fall into a stupor over her rain-grass scent.

“Yeah, I’m only here for the flyer discounts.” She checked in my bag with an attendant and then turned back to me. “My flight is at 9, about an hour after I get off my shift. When is yours?” She reached for my boarding pass. I let her take it and winced when our fingers touched.

“7:35...cool, that’s the flight just before mine! I hope you brought a book, you still have an hour before boarding.” She clapped suddenly. I started. This was entirely the wrong time to realize that I had a crush on Katie, this early in the morning, disoriented, and with her in that fucking bellhop costume. She was just too shiny, and I couldn’t focus. Suddenly I understood Nick Dunn’s dilemma when he said the same thing in Gone Girl. A person really could be too shiny, too distracting, making it impossible to fully understand their words or the situation at hand.

“I can get you a drink. On the house. Or, LAX, anyway.” she winked. “I know it’s early, but who fucking cares? We both know that this ‘field trip’ is really just going to be a vacation. Just tell me what you want and sit over there, I’ll bring it to you.” The girl was feeding me free alcohol. I fell in love a little bit.

“Wow, thanks so much...you’re...so good at your job.” I gave her a stupid thumbs up like the awkward bitch I was. She didn’t seem to notice the corn falling from the ceiling.

“Coming up.” she smiled and tripped away. Dammit, Katie/Heidi Gardner/Love of my Life, I thought, why did she affect me this way?

Because you’re gay, and a doofus, and a sucker, I reminded myself as I settled into a seat. Right, right.

A few minutes later, Katie came back and gave me the frothy whiskey sour. At least I was also having some egg that morning. I chuckled to myself at my joke. I enjoyed my jokes, even if no one else did. She wished me a good flight to Chicago, with a smile that reached her eyes, before going off back to work. The airport was starting to fill up. I drank my treat slowly, savoring every drop.

I had indeed brought a book with me for the wait. I took it out and started reading. Next thing I knew, Katie was gently shaking me awake, now dressed in light colored jeans and a striped shirt. A golden necklace dangled at her chest. She looked like she lived at The Gap.

“Camille, wake up! You missed your flight.” That couldn’t be right. I had just sat down.

“But I just sat down.” I replied thickly.

“Oh honey.”

Honey.

“It’s 8:30, hon. I would have woken you up if I knew you were asleep, but I got really busy and didn’t have time to check in on you.”

HON.

“Okay, look, I can get your flight switched to the 9am. I could even get you a seat next to me. I’m in 1st class. How does that sound?”

Perfect. Awful. Fuck. I missed my flight?

“Perfect, thank you.” I still wasn’t computing. She was doing nice things and my head felt full of rocks.

I followed Katie mutely as she fixed the flights and shepherded me through security and onto the 9am flight. Occasionally she’d touch my arm or my shoulder, and my mind’s eye saw tulips sprouting from those spots like something out of Fantasia.

Then I was sitting next to Katie in 1st class (a perk of the job, she said) and being offered a hot towel It was like something out of the movies, and I felt like an unlikely protagonist, in ripped jeans and my oversized “travelling sweater,” no makeup over acne scars, twists half unravelled under my beanie. At any rate, I didn’t look like I should be sitting next to fucking Heidi Gardner. The flight attendant offered me a drink. I refused. Clearly I couldn’t handle airline liquor.

The plane began to take off, and per usual, my anxiety broke out. My breathing became shallow. Katie noticed at once.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of flying, sweetie.”

Sweetie.

“Just take-offs and landings.” I forced a smile. It was true. When the plane was solidly in the air, I was always fine. It was just the up and down parts that got to me.

“Hey, don’t worry.” She took hold of my hand. My heart jumped like a fish. “I’ve been on like, a million flights, and I’m still here.”

“Yeah?” I decided to distract myself. “Where have you been?”

“Oh you know, the typical places. Europe, Greece, New Zealand once, Australia a couple of times.”

Right. The usual places. The farthest out of the country I had ever been was Canada, and I didn’t fly there. I remembered Katie once saying that she grew up in Manhattan Beach. Suddenly she was reminded me less of Heidi Gardner and more like my old co-worker.

“Maybe...maybe one day we can go somewhere together.” She tried for nonchalance and failed. And just like that she was Heidi Gardner again.

The plane levelled out and I started to breathe again.We talked nearly non-stop for an hour, about classes, teachers we liked and teachers we hated, and things we enjoyed. Despite our many, many physical differences, we had a lot in common. I fell into her willingly, like an Alice gleefully jumping into the rabbit hole, not giving a rat’s ass about what was at the bottom of that vertical tunnel.

“You know, I know it sucks that you missed your flight.” Katie said, somewhat jerkily. I smiled.

“It’s fine, I mean, honestly I’m kind of happy I fell asleep. I woke up with a first class ticket...with you.” She started playing with her necklace and smiled absently.

“The carton wasn’t joking when it said fast-acting. Anyway, all’s well that ends well.”

My smile froze, but didn’t disappear. The carton? What was she talking about?”

“What...carton?”

“Oh, um, for the sleeping pills.”

“Sleeping pills.”

Katie fidgeted. “Yeah. I put a couple in your drink.”

“My smile finally melted. “You...drugged me?”

She turned to me imploringly. “No I just...I just...gave you a nap.”

“You gave me a nap.”

“Yeah, and I mean you looked super peaceful.” She sat up determinedly. “Think about it this way: I gave you peace in a cup.”

I squinted at her. This was really happening.

“You,” I pointed at Katie, “put sleeping pills in my whiskey sour. You drugged me...and you’re calling it a favor.” I exploded. I couldn’t help it. “What the actual fuck, Katie?!” A few heads turned our way.

“Shh, shh, look, I just...really wanted to spend some time with you.” She blushed. “I’ve actually really liked you for a while, and then you came in, and your flight just happened to be right before mine, and I had the sleeping pills because I have trouble sleeping in hotels, and it was just such a convenient way to get you on my flight so we could hang out.” she babbled. If what she had done hadn’t been so sociopathic, it would have been almost cute.

“Alternatively,” I said, keeping my voice down, “you could have asked if i’d be willing to switch flights for an upgrade. Or you could have asked me for coffee in Chicago, or talked to me after classes, or done anything other than this, like fuck, dude, this is just so not okay!” The flight attendant passed by again. This time, I requested a jack and coke. I needed a drink. I made a mental note to myself to keep all my drinks as far away from Katie as possible.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I just never thought you’d want to willingly hang out with this.” She gestured to her perfect body. “You’re just so cool and I’m so...so meh.”

My drink came. I started drinking immediately. Clearly Katie was very insecure, especially if she thought I was the epitome of cool, or style, or whatever. I contemplated the situation. I may have looked like the epitome of Hollywood gutter dwellers, but at least I wasn’t Hollywood drama. Suddenly I felt much more favorable towards myself, even towards my raggedy travel appearance.

“I’m so sorry,” Katie said again. “Can we please just pretend it didn’t happen and start over? Maybe get lunch in Chicago? I know some great spots, and I’ll cover you.”

“Of course you know some great spots.” I grunted. “I bet you’ve been to every state in the fucking union.”

“I haven’t been to Mississippi.” Right. The one state, and consequently the only state I had been to more than twice in my life.

I drank the rest of my drink a little too quickly and choked, once again drawing the inquisitive eyes of 1st class. Rubberneckers. Katie patted my back until my coughing settled. Even after her little revelation, my mind imagined beautiful things growing where she touched me. Like said, my brain? Dumpster fire.

I looked at her and immediately wished I didn’t. All my resolve to leave 1st class and this nut altogether melted instantly. Her eyes were brimming with tears.I have always been pathetic when it came to girl tears, and Katie’s tears over her sins were no different. They should have been - the situation was egregious - but it wasn’t.

There was just something about that day, I think, seeing the new, weird LAX for the first time, realizing my crush on Katie, the anticipation and stress of travelling somewhere new, the alien experience of being in first class, that opened me up in strange and not necessarily beneficial ways. On any other day, I would have been smarter. I would have called Katie out, for her manipulation and general insanity. But as I sat with the information, with Katie falling sadly into herself, the shock started to fade and the situation almost seemed funny. It was just another surreal occurence in a surreal day.

So I said fine, and I agreed to lunch. That decision would lead to two fun, wild years, immediately followed by three that would turn my life upside-down, and a little heartbreak. I like to think that I’m smarter now, but I’m probably not. I’m not sure yet whether or not I regret it. At the very least, I’ve grown enough sense to not overlook errant manipulation in a person, especially when it shows itself squarely on impact.

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