#not enjoying sex? DONT DO THAT SHIT it doesnt matter!!!

[drdemonprince]

ive got it all folks. exhortations that sex isn't all that important and encouragement for people to conduct emotional affairs, all at once

[lycorid]

Sometimes venturing onto the For You side of Twitter sparks joy.

Based take. Shoujo and Josei are fucking top notch, both in characters and art style (how can you not think they’re beautiful?)

“Ruined the JJK and MHA fandoms” is WILD. I avoid fandoms for the most part (except perusing tumblr for the occasional fucking thesis women write about character motivations i love you women <3) because they usually suck. Seriously, I kept up with OPM for a bit because it was entertaining but holy shit the subreddit (very much full of men) is literally just… sexy woman. More sexy woman. Memes about artist constantly drawing sexy woman. Memes. Occasional power scaling arguments. Low quality page colorings of the exact same page. There is NOTHING. How the hell can women ruin the fandom when the fandom IS the women?!

It’s the women creating in depth analyses on characters; it’s the women writing fanfiction, creating doujinshis; it’s the women creating fandom centered accounts; it’s the women buying every new merch piece that comes out AND giving free advertising by posting about it online. And then men will go on and rag on women for doing all these things. It’s infuriating.

Longevity of a series is also something these idiots ignore. Seriously, look at Katekyo Hitman Reborn. The manga ended in 2012 and the creator is working on a different series. Katekyo Hitman Reborn still gets regular merch releases. This is a series that ended over a decade ago and still has an incredibly dedicated fanbase of, I wonder who, that regularly spends enough money to keep it consistent. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that series is supported mainly by men. I do not care how hard Amano Akira tried to alienate her female fans with her treatment of the female characters you know exactly whos spending the money based on who is constantly getting merch (minus the titular character, because of course he has to be there.)

Honestly I don’t give a damn that fandom can often be absolute insanity; you get a group of people together and it’s always going to be a shitshow, that isn’t unique to fandom, people just like to pretend it is because as always, there’s an undercurrent of misogyny because people know women carry that shit but they only want to acknowledge it when they can use it to criticize them.

I love that she came for the JJK fandom as well. I’ve been following the series because honestly it is really fucking funny because it is the epitome of shounen tropes. The author literally baked them into the world. Explaining your abilities to the opponent makes them stronger. So this entire series you get giant pages of just white with text explaining every little fucking thing like theres a narrator standing over your shoulder making sure you can’t possibly miss anything on the first read. Fuck dude, I don’t mind exorbitant amounts of text in my manga, but you cannot be serious in pretending that is good writing. There’s a deus ex machina that every character can pull out of their ass called a binding vow. Black flash also falls into this category.

Hell, the latest arc has literally just been flashback after flashback playing during the battle of the characters forming a bunch of plans in preparation for the fight we currently are following. This is genuinely one of my most hated tropes. The characters just get off screen power ups that then get handwaved as “well we showed you the flashback right?” there is NO anticipation, any excitement you feel for the battle is purely manufactured rather than genuine. It’s not “I can’t wait to see how the growth I followed of these characters affects the battle” it’s “wow, what cool ability will they pull out of their ass next?” I hate it I loathe it and it’s even worse with emotional moments. Why couldn’t you write this into the story in the first place? Why are you giving it to me in a shitty flashback?

Maybe I didn’t explain it well enough because I launched into a rant. The reason I hated it so much is because it forced the reader to be an observer rather than an active participant in the manga. Everything is spoonfed to you. You don’t need to reread the chapters over and over to put together the pieces on how, where, and why each action took place, the author does that for you. You don’t see everything from a new perspective when you read it a second time, catching lots of things you may have missed because you’re not allowed to miss anything the author deems important.

I enjoy this manga. There is good things about it. But it is nowhere near the god manga (“kamige” would be the term if it was a visual novel; I don’t know a manga equivalent) men like to pretend it is. It genuinely seems like they think everything being explained every page is good writing.

Based and succinct.

Anyway, you shouldn’t restrict yourself from experiencing specific genres because they’re for “the lessers” because that’s actually fucking cringe and maybe you should touch a Josei manga, or even a Shoujo manga. Maybe it’ll open your eyes and you’ll realize, hey, women’s media is actually- oh who the fuck am I kidding just pull the trigger.

[missn00tson]

Yoo Wooin headcanons

Hi, the Wooin landscape is barren af, so Im here to offer my headcanons abt him.

Hope you enjoy!

Nb!Reader

Sfw:

He's Bi, or def fruity in some shape or form.

I once read abt him being in a poly relationship and it has been ingraved in my mind ever since.

Def the type of guy to do a lot of pda. He likes to slap your ass in public, a lot. He's not the type of guy to be gentlemanly and open the door for you, but when he does he will slap your ass as he enters after you.

How comfortable he is with you changes a lot about how he acts with you. When you've been a thing or sortof thing for a long time he will get less... annoying? Dont get me wrong, he's still a litle shit but shows more of a caring side of his. It also ups his aftercare, like, he doesn't leave u or kick u out right after sex.

True to the story he's a little shit always up to somthing, and up for anything. He'd prolly not think twice if you suggest to do smth strange or dangerous.

Would spoil u excessively w gifts. I cant promise u theyre pretty (you have seen his fashion style, its not for everyone) but they will be expensive for sure.

Buys you matching clothes and expects you to wear them so he can show you off.

Will ask you to draw anything and get it tattooed. No mater how good your drawing skills r, if u can hold a pen you're good.

He's pretty good at drawing himself, but just like the rest of him his drawing style is rather... unique. He had been interested in becoming a tattoo artist for a while, and would become one if he didnt get as much money from illegal activities as he does.

Would do drugs and other types of substances with you for fun. He especially loves doing it before and after you've fucked.

He has the most obnoxious alarm ever (if he even feels like getting anywhere on time) and takes too damn long to turn it off.

Types with the most incoherent text messages ever. His texts r abbreviations from hell and as short as they can be. The only emojys he uses r 😎 and 🖕🏻

If you use the middle finger emoji tho he'll tell u it means u have a small dick just to annoy you.

Leaves you on read when you dont ask for a specific answer. He wont answer with an "okay" or anything either.

Would randomly call u at 3am and ask u if he was with u last night when the cops ask him for an alibi. It doesnt matter if he did it or not, he'd lie.

Dont expect him to cook. If you're eating at home it's just simple cupnoodles, otherwise he goes to eat out for every meal.

The guy walks so. Tremendously. slow. Like, showing off walking all badassly but walking slow like a SNAIL

Has the most annoying morning alarm ever (if he even feels like getting somewhere on time) and takes an eternity to turn it off.

Doesn't include you in his job, but isnt super secretive or apologetic abt it at all either.

He's total shit at talking about his feeling other than "annoyed" and "horny", same goes for consoling you about yours.

When you're not close yet he will most likely leave you to yourself as he has no clue how to deal with it other than letting it pass. He might offer you to do something you like to put your mind off it.

If you're more of a serious (for how serious it can be) thing he will try to console u in his own way. He will stay by your side, most likely uncomfortably staring in the distance until u tell him what you want him to do.

Strangely so, these are the moments where he's uncharcyeristicallt distant. Usually he's a guy with 0 personal space but then he just lets you be until he gets told otherwise (sounds submissive to me ahEm-)

If your just a bit down (and he has outruled the possibility that you're mad at him, so you wont atack him outta nowhere) he will try to cheer u up with stupid dirty jokes.

Nsfw:

Would be into crossdressing. More so himself than his partner, but I can see him wearing a short skirt for shits nd giggles once and realizing things abt himself.

Looooves doggy style. Esp when he tops. He loves watching himself sliding in and out of you while you fuck, it just awakens something inside of him.

Would be the type to push u deeper while youre giving him head.

As an adrenaline junky he loves the idea of fucking and teasing in public. Even better if someone else watches.

Def some sort of sadist. He esp loves hour long edging followed by overstimulation. (I dont make the rules. I do but I dont :)

Loves the idea of phone sex, until he gets too horny and wants to do it himself.

But moments like those r the easiest moments to dom him. Yes, he's a switch, a brat for sure.

Even if he doesnt like to admit it, during spicy time is the only moment ur allowed to order him around and having a chance of him listening.

Dont overdo it tho, if he doesnt feel completely at ease w u yet he'll snap right out of it again (esp when he was planning on domming) and rail u even harder.

His rythm is slow and teasing at first, trying to tick you off, but as his own high nears he rams into you with short but quick thrusts.

Continues to fuck you even after you both came, enjoying the pain it gives him and the strangled moans and grunts tou let out.

Loves it when you beg. He loves feeling superior and being worshipped.

Though when hes subbing. Degradation kink. Im telling you. D e g r a d a t i o n

Hes not a gentle guy, he get turned on by seeing your tear stained face. He'd lick off the drops while he's pounding inside of you, wishing you'd cry more.

When he praises you he'll always degrade you at the same time, often using degrading nicknames. "Such a pretty slut for me" "This pathetic doll is taking me so well, aren't they?"

Loves when you bite and scratch him. It sends him straight over the edge when you scratch his back while he's fucking you.

Especially when he's bottoming he loves it when you leave bite marks allover him. On his neck, hut also his inner tighs make him weak in the knees.

You can bite down pretty deeply. If it draws blood, he'll slightly spread his legs further for you to lick it off.

Loves it when you moan around his cock.

Def a hair puller while recieving head, bobbing your head forcefully up and down making you gag.

He asks you to show your tongue after you've swallowed.

Loves calling you "my good slut"

Enjoys having his hands tied back while you ride him. He loves the way you body bounces while you move atop of him while he strains his hands in his cuffs.

He loves when you use him, ignoring his needs and pleasuring yourself.

The idea of his partners useing him while he's tied up and gagged, unable to stop them from edging and overstimulating him. One on top of him and the other eyeing them like a predator. Man that's maybe even better then drugs for him.

He loves hunting. Whether it's chasing you in a haunted house before taking you against the wall or you chasing him before making him crumble under your fingers.

Even though he's a shit, he knows the importance of knowing what your partner wants, and he'd make sure to get to know your prefrences beforehand. After all, what fun would it be if you're not up to do what he wants?

Aftercare after quickies is rare but when you have played a scene with him he will help you clean up and ask you about your opinion of the scene.

He knows no personal space. He cuddles with you until you both fall asleep, but leaves in the morning after showering and eating. (ofc depending on how close u are. If it's just a one night stand he leaves for sure, unless u put some magic on him. If youre more of a regular thing he'd make himself comfortable until u wake up and leave afterwards)

I have no clue how many words this is, but thank you for reading! :)

IHis lips also look so pink and juicy in the newest chapters, did he buy him some lipgloss or smthh?? I love itttt

[own-tt]

Adrenaline | L x Reader smut

Tags: car sex, smut, L ooc?, L drives a car?, aftercare, language, both L and the ready being horny,

This was written on my phone so I hope you guys enjoy it. Also if you have anything you want me to write. Please send anything I'm desperate 😭

“If we die I'm blaming this one you.” L says from the driver seat. “Yeah yeah calm down will you?” You leaned out of the open window. Trying to point your gun straight at the wheel of the car that was following you.

All you did was steel a singe file, and their chasing you. You aim and fire. And to your success, the tire popped and they started to slow down. You smile and laugh as you climb into the front seat again. Ls face was sweaty and he looked like he was focused on the road infront of him.

“We have more problems so dont rest now.” L says nodding his head forward at the sets of motorcycles. You aimed your gun again but nothing came out. “Shit, I'm out of bullets.” You swore.

L looked around, “hang on.” He said while speeding the car up. Your heart starting beating faster as you passed them and turned, almost crashing into a building. You started to laugh. “Is this funny to you?!” He yelled over the car. You nodded with a grin on your face. L sighed and shook his head, his focus now getting away.

With a couple of experienced turns and multiple almost accidents. You and L lost them. He turned into an empty parking lot and took a breather. So did you.

“Where did you learn to drive like that?!” You panted, the sweet smile still spread across your face. “Taught myself. Do you still have the file?” L was also almost out of breath. You nodded and reached into the back, grabing the file and giving it to him. He scanned it over and gave a nod. “Good job. You did well.” You let out a laugh at his words.

“I like praise from the L. Feels nice.”

L looked over to you. You looked disheveled, your shirt halfway down your shoulders, he realised you wernt wearing a bra. Now why was that?

“Praise feels nice from everyone. Especially your superiors.” You looked over to him. “You think your my superior?” You almost laughed at his words.

“In this case, yes I am.”. “I bet you havnt even fucked someone. I have.” You bragged. Didnt seem like the type to brag about but it was in the moment. The adrenaline was making you turned on, not for anyone specific. But L seemed really attractive driving fast.

“What does that have to do with anything? It doesnt matter if I'm a virgin.” You gasped. “YOUR A VIRGIN.” L looked at you. “This isnt the time or place. We need to get back.” He looked hot and flustered. “No. Now I'm curious.” You said, grabbing the steering wheel so he couldn't drive.

“I always thought the best detective would get girls left and right. Was I wrong?” You chuckled. “What were you expecting. I stay inside all day and solve crimes from all around the world. I dont have time for something as silly as sex.”

“But sex is a good way to relief stress? It's good if your worked up, or full of adrenaline.” You say. L looked straight at you. “Adrenaline you say?” You smile and nodded.

“Are you hinting at something, Y/n?” You leaned back into your seat and shrugged. “Not trying to hint at something, was just curious.” You rested your elbow against the window of the car.

But before you could do anything. Your seet was pulled back and L slowly crawled on top of you. “Adrenaline.” He said in a low voice. Almost like a growl. “I guess I could put this adrenaline to good use. Do I have the consent.” You were in shock for a second but found this a bit funny.

It wasnt everyday you made L ask for your consent. “Yes.” You said. L ducked his head down and kissed you, he quickly separated your legs and placed himself in betwen them.

“Have you always felt this way?” You said when his lips left yours. He did nothing while slowly undoing your pants. He leaned over you and pulled them down.

“These are cute.” He said when putting a finger in the waistband of your pantys. He pulled them and they snapped against your skin, making you jump. He chuckled.

He ducked down and kissed the inside of your thighs. “I thought you were a virgin?” You groaned. He paused before saying. “I am. Maybe I'm just talented.” You moaned as he got closer to the place you needed him. “What do you watch por- AH!” He placed a kiss on top of your clothes clit. Making you moan loudly.

“I wouldn't say I watch porn.” He placed another finger in the waistband and pulled the peice of fabric down.

“Ah isnt this a pretty sight.” He threw the fabric somewhere in the car and slowly unbuttoned his pants. Pulling them down a bit, along with his boxers. He gave his cock a few pumps before aligning with your hole. “You sure you haven't done this before?” You said before L finally pushed in.

The feeling burned for a little bit before it faded into complete pleasure. “L!” You moaned. You tried to find something to grip on and decided to grab his shoulders instead. “Yes.” He said.

“I've always felt this way. I just. Never found a good way to express it.” He tried to say but was cut off by moans. “You feel so good.” He sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

When he felt comfortable enough to start moving, he set a nice pace. It was slow but hard, and it hit the right places that made you see all sorts of stars.

“P-please L!” You whimpered. Your nails scratched his back. He was sure that he was gonna see light marks later on. “Hah!” He moaned again. Speading up slightly.

“A-are we realy supposed to do this?”

“We can blame it on the adrenaline if we get caught.” He said, he bit down on your shoulder to muffle his moans. But did almost nothing.

“C-cumming.” He said, he bit relatively hard and you felt a warm liquid in between your legs. It wasnt long before you came along with him.

He stayed on you for a little bit to catch his breath. When he did he asked if you were okay, and you replied with a nod. “Did I do it to your satisfaction?”

You nodded again. He smiled and slowly got off of you. He looked around and found some napkins. He slowly cleaned you up, making sure that he didnt hurt you. He pulled up your pantys and pants and sat back in his seat.

[fipindustries]

HRT and sex talk! feel free to ignore if that is not your jam

for whatever reason my hormones are not being as effective as they used to, which means that a lot of my male characteristics are coming back. chief amongst them is my male libido.

i wrote extensively about this phenomena in the past but i want to take a chance to kvetch about it yet again.

the pros is that masturbating feels like it hits... stronger. there is a certain feral high to male horniness. orgasms feel more like he final period, the last word. once you cum the matter is decidedly settled. it has a faster and higher peak. porn, drawn porn, feels more tittilating, fapping is easier. the whole process is more streamlined and hits more clearly and focused. also boners dont hurt as much any more.

that is about it for the pros. they are nice and i have been taking advantage of them now that i have the chance.

now come the cons.

male libido fucking sucks. it fucking sucks dick and balls and i fucking hate it, holy fucking shit.

ive likened to having an adiction in the past and the comparission holds stronger than ever. now your day is circumscribed by masturbation time and by how much time until next masturbation. it is a constant buzz in between your legs and the back of your head. any moment of boredom or inactivity is a moment that could be dedicated to that. to make matters worse, my dick is on a fucking hair trigger. is like im on a semi permanent half chub. i used to be able to enjoy and appreciate porn in a very intellectual way. it was tittillating for sure, it fulfilled a prurient interest, but mainly i enjoyed the artistry of it, i enjoyed the concept presented. now seeing porn online is like getting a poke from a really annoying mosquito that makes me want to scratch the subsequent itch.

and the real kick in the nuts here is that masturbating is now grosser. i cum more, it smells worse, it gets all sticky, i feel sweatier and slimier afterwards, and the dick feels all swollen and sore. the result of all this is that now im much more aware of my penis in a way that i really rather not be. when i go outside i cant help but feel that is really noticeable, more than usual. im terrified that there might be stains or that people might be able to smell something or whatever.

is just a fucking hassle, i dont want my mind to be 10% on sex at all times, i dont want to feel all sticky and smelly, i dont want to even be aware my dick exists most of the time. this truly was one of the hidden blessings of HRT i hadnt anticipated way back when i first started transitioning. i cant believe i lived like this for 25 years, i really dont understand how i did it. i cannot understand how men deal with this all the time, what are you guys doing? are you ok? you need help??? how can you live like this????.

honestly it doesnt feel like dysphoria, i dont feel gross in a metaphisical sense or like this challenges my identity or my conception of self or like it invalidates my gender or like it makes me dissociate from my body. is just a stupid pain in the ass, is like being with constant allergies and your nose was perpetually runny and you were oozing snot and slightly teary eyed and had to be constantly blowing your nose. it just sucks.

im going to talk to my doctor about increasing my dosis and probably get a fucking orchiectomy, yeah masturbation and orgasms dont feel as good but at least i can live my life like a functional human and focus on the things that really matter

[coltrainbat]

MASTERLIST

✨Masterlist ✨

READ ME BEFORE YOU REQUEST

Please note I don’t write anything that is illegal or borderline inappropriate. This includes sibling smut, adult baby kink (I dont even know what its called), teacherxstudent relationships and anything else I deem off. I also havent been to high school for many years so even if it’s innocent fluff I do not write HS AUs. If you’re unsure just ask! Can even be anon and if you don’t get a reply to your request then it’s a no. I’m fine with Daddy kink and most sex stuff as long as it doesn't cross lines into over infantilising, acting like an actual baby. 

As much as I’d love to sit in my bed all day and write fics... I have a big girl job and answer my requests in order I receive them (lol OCD tings) and I cant start one until the other is done (again sorry OCD tings). So please note there is a 3 week ish turn around for requests at max. And sometimes if I get a good idea I’ll write my own first cause I have to get it out of my head. But if you want updates feel free to message me or I’ll post an update if I get caught up in life! 

I’m always up for a chat and am pretty active on here so you’re welcome to talk to me about whatever, ask questions or just chat! Please note it’s an 18+ account and if you don’t specify that I won’t reply. 

Ty x

Clover ☘️

Dividers from the brilliant @firefly-graphics 💕

Gifs and images are not mine! 

KEY:

☁️ - Fluff 🔥 - Smut/NSFW 🌤 - Platonic 

🌧  - Tear Jerker / Sad

🌪 - Angst

SERIES: 

COMING SOON: Third Times A Charm | A Chris Evans X RDJ Sister!Reader (description here)

Take Me Home | Nick Vaughan X Reader:

Part 1 -  Meet Cute ☁️

Yes, No, Maybe | Chris Evans X Curvy!Reader:

Part 1 - Chris meets you and has to have you. ☁️🌪

Part 2 - your first date. ☁️

Part 3 (Virgin!Reader) - Chris takes your virginity 🔥☁️

Bubba | Dad!Chris Evans X Pregant/Mom!Reader):

Part 1 - You tell Chris he’s going to be a dad for the first time. ☁️🌧

Part 2 - Protective!DadChris ☁️

IMAGINES/ONE SHOTS & HEADCANONS:

Chris Evans

You’re Mine (Curvy!Reader) - You’re Chris’s FWB and you wonder if you’re the only one 🔥☁️

All Worth It (Curvy!Reader) - You and Chris go public with your relationship. ☁️

Chris Evans Alphabet (Curvy!Reader) - smut implied but mainly fluff. ☁️

Chris Evans Alphabet NSFW - 🔥

What A Girl Wants - You’re a str!pper and Chris wants you for the night. 🔥

Happiest Man Alive - You’re a florist and Chris proposes at the Oscars ☁️

No One Disrespects Chris’s Girl - A journalist insults you to Chris’s face. 🌪

Best Birthday Ever (Curvy!Reader) - You usually dread your birthday but Chris has a surprise in stall. ☁️

Bed. Now. - Finals week has hit but Chris wants you to sleep. ☁️

Boston Boy Documentary - Your segment in Chris’s documentary. ☁️

Can’t Believe They’re Real - Chris is an ass guy but with tits like yours he cant help be obsessed.  🔥

Favourite Pillows - Chris’s favourite pillows are conveniently on your chest. ☁️

My Angel (Model!Reader) - You’re a Victoria Secret Angel ☁️

Because I Want You - Your bestie, Chris gets a bit jealous...  ☁️🌪

Cookie - Baking cookies doesnt go as planned.  ☁️🔥

High On You - You and Chris enjoy a joint together. ☁️

I’m in Chwarge (Blurb) - No one tells you whhat to do besides Chris ☁️🔥

Tik Tok Leggings - You could say Chris likes your new leggings… 🔥☁️

Eat Shit Ransom - You’ve got a huge crush on Ransom 🌪☁️

Pork or Pasta? - You meet Chris for the first time but arent so sure about him... 🌪☁️

Mint Condition - Captain America Roleplay  🔥

Sexiest Girl Alive (Curvy!Reader) - You get hate for your body and Chris comes to your defence. 🌪☁️

Headcanon!Chris Evans - Chris start to cheer his gf up. How? With stupid cheesy pick up lines ☁️

Steve Rogers 

I’m The Captain Now - Taking Steve’s virginity 🔥

Off to College - You & Steve send your little girl off to College ☁️🌧

Family Matters - Steve’s sister dies 🌧🌤 

Roped Up - Steve ties you up 🔥

Soxs - You get Steve a cat to help with his nightmares. ☁️

Prettiest Girl In The World (PreSerum!Steve X Plussize!Reader) - Steve thinks you’re the best even if you don’t. 🔥☁️🌧

Get A Life - Shortsized!Reader working for Bruce Banner as a lab assistant and Steve has a total crush on her. ☁️

Frank Adler 

Disneyland - You and Frank take Mary to Disney ☁️

Put It On My Tab - Frank introduces Female Bartender!Reader and introduces her to his niece. ☁️

Andy Barber

What To Wear (Curvy!Reader) - Andy helps you find a shirt that fits for your date night. ☁️

Sparks Fly - Soulmate AU ☁️

You’re Sick (Blurb) ☁️

Our Home - Laurie shows up unannounced. 🌪☁️

Knock Knock - You surprise Andy at work. 🔥

Lloyd Hansen

You’re Not Sorry - You act like a brat but Lloyd is going to make you pay for it. 🔥🌪

Ari Levinson

I’ll Take Care of You - Ari is married to your sister but he has you on on his mind. 🔥

Neighbours - You get very friendly with your neighbour, Ari.  🔥

Ransom Drysdale

Good Bunny - Ransom wants to explore the hole God can’t see... 🔥

Liam Hemsworth

Nostalgia - You and Liam reunite but its a little different now. ☁️🌪

[hurricane-heatt]

Hi!! For the trope mash up I'd love to see your take on time travel + soul mates for Sewis

on ao3 here!

heheee thank you for this i got far too carried away - its under the cut but it might be easier to read on ao3! its late here so if there's mistakes you dont see them oops.

seb centric, the vague idea is that in every version of events lewis is there and they will always be together. sappy evil love shit

i really hope you enjoy!

this is rated t for brief allusions to sex!

maybe tomorrow you'll know

The voice asks him, what do you wish for most in the world? It asks Sebastian in 2009, champagne soaked in the aftermath of a beautiful Japan podium with Lewis Hamilton and Jarno Trulli. Sebastian answers the voice plainly; I want to know. 

The first place it takes him is only a year in the future - the top of the podium in Abu Dhabi. He only confirms it as his body turns around and reads the back panel but there’s a kind of instinct that thrums through him, a knowing. He’s a Formula One World Champion. There’s much more champagne and it’s soaked into his bones. 

This part isn’t really important, says the voice. But I wanted you to know.

Thank you.

The world moves in slow motion, so he drinks it all in. His body turns to the side and he’s face to face with Lewis Hamilton again, as though it were still 2009, and Lewis was pouring 2009 champagne down his 2009 back.

Lewis is close, leaning in and whispering something in his ear. 

That is the only thing, laments the voice. I can’t let you hear anything, it’ll impact what you do in the present day. Sorry about that. 

It’s okay, says Sebastian, maybe out loud but he doesn’t feel his lips move. 

He doesn’t really feel anything at all, except bright, shining happiness. Lewis grins at him, so cheerful, brown eyes full of warmth. His face is soaking wet as Sebastian feels himself lift his own arm up, and pour more champagne over Lewis. He blinks it out of his eyes and smiles even wider.

The image before his eyes changes. It’s a crowded, flashing room, and oh no, the vision isn’t coming into focus. Sebastian’s drunk. He’s aware of himself in this state, at least, but he can’t prevent anything from happening, trapped as though in a roller coaster seat - voluntarily releasing control.

This entire thing feels like drunk memories, actually.

The voice doesnt laugh. Hm, that’s funny. You can’t interfere, I’ve made sure.

Okay.

Someone claps him on the back, someone pushes him to the dance floor, there’s hands all over him and he’s being torn in one direction or another. It’s violently overwhelming but, he supposes, he’s drunk. He hardly cares.

He feels a hand take his, the first of all the hands to do so, palm meeting palm, sweating onto another’s skin in an oddly intimate way. It pulls with a newfound strength and out of the crowd Sebastian goes, tucked into a corner. It’s Lewis Hamilton. He’s biting his lip and looking nervous but the way he stands, on a sort of lopsided tilt, tells Sebastian he’s drunk too. So anything they both say or do hardly matters. 

Lewis keeps a hold on his hand. Sebastian squeezes Lewis’ hand back, and then leans in so close to his face it’s ridiculous. And then he kisses Lewis square on the mouth.

Again, autonomy, and so Sebastian can’t taste the drink on Lewis’ tongue but he can feel his lips, his hand still in his. It’s tender and it’s sweet, for how intoxicated they are. Maybe if it were Sebastian’s own body, he’d feel fireworks, or sparks, or some other explosive feeling, but he only knows the vague but brilliant happiness that stretches through him, head to toe. It’s like his conscious mind doesn’t have room for any more.

You’d be right. 

Oh, really? 

Yeah. Sorry, though. I have to show you every version of this, though. To make it fair. 

Sebastian might’ve frowned in confusion but instead he says, alright then. 

So, the vision changes again and instead of being on top of the podium he’s below. Mark has taken the top step. Mark’s a world champion. Instead of the relentless joy from before, the feeling is misery, entrenched in his skin not by champagne but by Rocky’s face in his ear, saying something Sebastian still can’t hear. He probably can’t even hear it in the real, living moment - the crowd’s mouths move as though they are yelling and chanting and cheering.

Sebastian’s aware of an ache in his leg. Maybe he crashed out, the pressure building and building and finally he toppled. It doesn’t sound like him but it sounds like an explanation.

I should’ve done this one first, really.

It’s okay, I guess.

His eyes close, as if it hurts too much. Maybe the leg, maybe the view. He’s sure he’s said his congratulations to Mark. He’s sure.

Luckily the whole place swims away before Lewis can tip a bottle over Mark’s head. He’s back in the room with the flashing lights and colours, now, but instead of being in the throng of people, tossed around like a ‘pass the parcel’, he’s in the corner, drink half empty in hand. Mark seems elated. You would be, wouldn’t you, if you were the World Champion?

His vision is still blurry, though.

Instead of pulling Sebastian out of the mess, Lewis walks past him, this time. Rather than giving Sebastian a smile, his usual grin, the gap in his teeth that makes him look so boyish and sweet, he puts a hand on Sebastian’s bicep, leans in, says something that is probably ‘sorry’. The same kind of nervous energy as before radiates from him - his feet are tapping, he rolls his shoulders back and forth a couple of times. He’s anxious about something, and if only Sebastian could hear! 

But before he can begin to lip read, Lewis leans in, and presses a kiss to Sebastian’s mouth, suddenly as if his brain was going to stop him. It’s the same as before - tender, kind. Safe and warm. He knows it. 

Oh. That’s nice of him.

Isn't it? I’ve got to take you somewhere else now. Are you ready?

Lewis pulls away, dark eyes looking into Sebastian’s. He can read his lips. ‘Was that okay?’ And Sebastian knows his answer, even if he doesn’t feel himself saying it, only watching the spread of Lewis’ worried mouth rise into his cheeks, skin dimpling.

He doesn’t see anymore of that scene. It distorts and ripples and suddenly something flows through his skin, some confusing feeling. It’s loss. It’s pride. It’s happiness and longing, all at once, as is revealed to him as he’s sat on the step of a podium balcony, looking up at the sky. There’s tears in his eyes, his cheeks are wet as he touches them with his hands. He doesn’t know why he feels all these strange things, until he looks downward for a second, and sees his racesuit is bright red. 

Oh!

He looks back to the sky, and some things fall into place. He’s a driver at Ferrari, it's all he’s ever wanted. But then, what’s this bittersweet feeling? He can’t figure it out. But, he feels an arm wrap around him, and it’s Lewis. He looks older, here, though his body doesn’t turn to check the date. He wears white and an obnoxious turquoise colour, rather than the white and red of Mclaren.

Sebastian keeps on crying, and he doesn’t know why. Lewis sits with him the whole time, and somehow he’s aware of his eyes always on him, watching, waiting. For what, he’s not sure.

A scene shift, without the voice commanding, so it must be a continuation of this same life. It’s of a dimly lit hotel room, Sebastian’s own, surely, with the Ferrari cap slung on the vanity. He sees himself in the mirror, and it’s a quaint feeling - a body that isn’t yours yet. His hair is a little darker, maybe, he’s got some kind of facial hair too. He looks broader but better for it. He shines. It’s a thrilling feeling to know this might be a future he inhibits, one he lives through. 

He stops looking at himself, turns to face the other person in the room. Which is. Lewis? Lewis, with his shirt off, grinning like a madman. He says something and Sebastian feels something new run through him, something hot and dangerous. He drinks in the sight of Lewis, and he can’t tell whether it’s the present him or the new him. His tattoos look good painted over his muscles. And of course, he’s seen his Lewis with his shirt off, changing rooms are small before you’re in F1, and even then, there’s glimpses of skin when overalls are unzipped. This is new. This is deliberate. 

The future Sebastian reaches a hand out, trails down Lewis’ sternum, and he blinks slowly, surely enjoying the feeling. Desire grows, spreads through Sebastian’s body to his fingertips. It may be selfish but the voice could leave him here, to gaze at whatever happens next.

Can I show you the other version?

I suppose.

The vision changes. This time, he’s standing on the top of the podium, and it’s Abu Dhabi. He knows the view from the podium well by now, and as he faces the back to spin for a photo, it’s 2015. Red fireworks light up the sky and yet, he’s still crying, teeth biting at his lower lip as he lets all the emotion pour out over him, over every spectator, over every star in the sky. He runs to the edge of the balcony. His gloved hands grip the metal railing as he leans over, lifts one to wave down to the crew, wave down to the car, even, the beautiful red machine. He’s won a World Championship for Ferrari.

This isn't fair. How will I know which one happens? What if I want this one more?

Sorry, Sebastian.

It’s the first time the voice addresses him by name. There’s a lingering doubt but when a hand appears on the small of his waist, it’s Lewis again. His eyes are shining and his damn smile. He’s got his cap on backwards and he looks unbearably charming. He’s handsome, some boyish charm replaced by that of a man’s handling of himself. If it’s possible to blush in your subconscious, Sebastian, watching through a possible future him’s vision, he does so. Lips read ‘Well done, man.’ Pure, childlike glee is all over him - he’s done it, and Lewis is by his side.

Snap. The picture changes, just like that, and it’s that dim hotel room again, not the same, but similar anonymous, abstract paintings, beige furniture, popcorn ceilings. Sebastian is looking at himself in the mirror again, and next to his Ferrari cap is a trophy that is glittering in gold. When he spins, it’s Lewis again, who leans in and tells him something, assumedly the same thing as the previous imagination. The previous future, he reminds himself. He’s going to be a Ferrari World Champion.

I’ll have to stop, if you make predictions.

I didn’t know that was a rule?

Well it is. And anything else the voice says is drowned out by Sebastian admiring Lewis again, committing the vision of his perfectly shaped body to his memory, to take back once his wish is over. He never wants it to be over.

Let’s move on, I don’t think this was a good idea.

Spoilsport, but Sebastian doesn’t say this to the voice. Instead, he blinks, and he’s in the car. He’s behind a Mercedes, his brain knows this, and it's a yellow flag, which explains why they’re going unbearably slow. Suddenly, the front of Sebastian’s car touches the rear of the Mercedes. Has the driver just brake tested him? What a prick. His own action shocks him, though. He pulls out, during the safety car, no less, and bumps the side of the car, on purpose. One hand in the air the whole time, waving indignantly. It’s surprising and it’s a little nasty but also, subconsciously, Seb thinks he’d do it if it were his 2009 self in that car right now.

It’s a weird thought, if he lingers on it. This might be him, in reality. In a distant future, this could be him, bumping into the side of a Mercedes because they brake checked him. And god, wait. Is this Lewis? Nico was the other on the podium when he was crying, in the same attire as Lewis. It’s not a Nico move really, but it hardly feels like Lewis. His blood runs a little cold at the prospect.

He assumes, however bad and naive that might be, that he and Lewis had sex in that hotel room. They got to see the most beautiful and simultaneously the most vulnerable parts of one another. This is really going to ruin whatever’s going on between them. 

A worse idea, then - what if it’s already spoiled? Perhaps they have some bitter rivalry, some horrid, toxic thing that drives them apart, and that’s why Lewis did it, and that’s why Sebastian did it, and they’re never going to be nice to each other again-

I don’t know if this is beneficial for you.

Sebastian’s vision cuts to black, just for a split second, and the scene happens all over again, like a highlights reel. The bump on his car, the acceleration to swerve out and into the Mercedes in front. It’s torture, having no control over it all, a passenger in his own future body. He wants to jump out, and maybe he won’t stop it but he’ll just ask, why? Why did we do that? 

This isn’t right, can you- can you make it go away?

There’s a bit left, Sebastian. Hold on. Sorry.

They’re now in the press conference room, staring at an array of cameras and journalists. There’s some Sebastian recognises, looking a little grey around the edges now. It’s strange to see other people’s future too. They must ask a question because Sebastian nods through it, his subconscious wincing at the flashes of light directed straight at him. There’s one reassuring thing, then - he gets used to the feeling and doesn’t flinch anymore, and, he’s still got a job after whatever occurred between his car and the damn Mercedes.

There’s a lot more journalists than usual, though, that’s to be expected after a stunt like that. When he looks over the rest of the panel, there’s a blonde driver he doesn’t recognise, and there’s Lewis, separated as if they’ll kick off and squabble like children if they’re sat too close together. It must’ve been his car, then, not Nico’s. The realisation makes his stomach churn. But then some journalists get up, and then more, and the other driver kicks his chair out and walks off as if he’s exhausted. It must be over, then. Sebastian can only imagine it was painful. 

Lewis looks at him, tilts his head, something too fast for the Sebastian watching to catch and translate. The room is nearly empty. Sebastian can feel the general presence of Britta, and another short blonde woman, donned in a Mercedes polo, talking by the door. Must be Lewis’ Britta, maybe. They’re waiting for them to leave, but all Sebastian wants to do is to jump into this timeline and fix things. 

Or maybe, things are okay already, as Sebastian takes one look around, and offers out his hand. Not in a handshake, but as though reaching for a friend. For a lover. Maybe for just someone he trusts, and Lewis takes it. As soon as he does, it’s like a wave of relief crashes over Sebastian, drowning him in the best way possible. He feels cleansed when Lewis strokes his thumb, feels so much lighter when he squeezes and shouts something to his assistant, who’s laughing with Britta. God, they must be stupid, and worse than that, so obvious. It makes Sebastian unimaginably happier than before, when he was sitting in that car, thinking he was somehow karmically doomed to watch his own stupid mistakes forever.

How do you feel now?

Better.

Good. There’s two more to go. Are you ready?

Again, the voice doesn’t really wait for an oral confirmation. The Lewis in front of him disappears, and then Sebastian is sat looking at a laptop screen. There’s no words to describe the feeling under his skin now. It feels like the darkest day of his life, though the sun shines so bright it makes a glare on the screen. He’s exhausted, he’s upset, but mostly, if he were to try and explain it, he’s frustrated. God knows what with. If it’s the future, maybe he’s still at Ferrari, and the car isn’t doing well.

I suppose this is cheating.

Sebastian doesn’t know what the voice means, until he watches himself click some buttons on the screen, and open a Word document. This isn’t really his job, if he’s writing a team statement. Usually  he just emails his guys a general idea of his feelings over an incident and they make it media friendly. His hands tap on the keyboard without clicking anything, as if he’s thinking, lost in thought.

Then, he finally commits to typing.

I, Sebastian Vettel, formally announce my retirement from Formula One at the end of the 2020 season. 

He gasps in his subconscious. He’s retiring? But it feels so early, so soon. Something’s gone badly wrong, because how could he want to retire? He’s in Ferrari. He’s won a fucking championship for them, how, why would he want to give up now? 

What did I tell you about predictions?!

No, please. I’m sorry.

We’ll have to move on.

Please!

Cut to black for a moment, and then he’s back. Sebastian’s still in his garden, looking at his laptop. God, this isn’t going to be like the last one, is it, where he sits and watches his career crumble in front of him, over and over? 

He notices, now, a distinct lack of people. There’s a feeling of deep loneliness that follows, an unfamiliar feeling, really. You’re always around people in the paddock, whether it be your pit crew, your mechanics, journalists and fellow drivers. Where’s Lewis? For the first time in all these revelations, he’s absent from Sebastian’s future. It makes him worry a little.

Another thing; the sun is too bright for winter break in Switzerland, too warm when it would usually be icy enough to freeze the garden furniture to the ground, too cold to sit outside. He can’t make any sense of it - he shouldn’t be at home at this time during the racing season. There’s a general unease that surrounds him, accompanied by the same biting feeling of frustration. He watches his fingers drag the mouse over applications and files and he waits in anticipation, for the Word document to open and for him to write his own eulogy, if he were feeling particularly dramatic about it.

Instead, 2020 Sebastian opens something called Zoom, he’s not familiar with the name in his present subconscious. But the new him seems to have the hang of things; he pulls up a list of contacts, scrolls to H. Lewis Hamilton. Another fresh tide of relief. Lewis is still here, in this weird, messed up future.

He’s got a recently answered call from Mattia Binotto in his activity, but neither present day or 2020 Sebastian seem to care that much as Lewis’ face fills the screen. He’s glitchy in places but it’s absolutely him, just with longer hair that frames his face in twists, piercings in his ears and one even in his nose, some more tattoos. He’s not got a top on, and Sebastian must make a joke about it as he laughs and sinks beneath the screen, so Sebastian can only see his eyes. He can tell Lewis is still laughing, corners of his eyes crinkling. It must cheer Sebastian up a hundred times over - he can feel the anger easing and fading the longer Lewis is on screen.

I can’t let you watch it all.

I know, but. I like it here.

And he does, even if he’s still received terrible news in this timeline. Lewis’ lovely, smiling face has made it better, if not all of it then at least the fresh pain that hurts the worst. Their conversation turns serious at points, both of their faces frowning and then speaking. At the end of it, though, when Lewis waves goodbye through the screen, smiling his usual smile, little gap in his front teeth, he feels marginally better than before. He so hopes this is the right one, that this is the future Sebastian chooses.

Although, the general panic and anxiety is still in his future body’s chest as though it’s permanent now, something Lewis’ face can’t alleviate. He still doesn’t understand the weather, the need to talk to Lewis through a funny computer program rather than go and see him in the garage next door.

It’s best not to know until then, really.

Sebastian takes the voice’s word for it. Can you show me the last one?

Of course.

Something about the new scene appearing before him makes it obvious it’s his last memory. He’s at the top of a corridor of sorts, only the walls are drivers. It’s a strange set up but there’s a sense of gratefulness mixed with the humour he finds in awkward situations such as these. There’s a few drivers he recognises, some he doesn’t, as he walks through the aisle. No Mark, he notices, but he sort of expected that; he was a bit older than Sebastian. Although, saying that, there’s Fernando, sporting some kind of mullet, dressed head to toe in yellow. What’s strange is that everyone is very far apart, and he’s fistbumping them all, which isn’t a very Sebastian thing to do. He doesn’t think, since his birth, that his present day self has ever fistbumped anyone.

His gloves are red when they reach to brush another driver’s.

When he reaches Lewis, he’s at the end of the line, with another blonde man next to him that absolutely isn’t Nico Rosberg, Lewis’ corners of his eyes smile like on the video, replacing the lower half of his face which is covered up. Sebastian longs, then, and he isn’t sure which version of himself wants it more - everything’s mixed up inside and out and oh, maybe he’s crying. There’s a strange sense of abandonment that is resting on him; he’s not finished yet. He wants to give so much more, and more than that, he wants Lewis’ arms around him.

Ah. The lines are blurring. We need to move on before any permanent damage is done.

No, no. please. Let me stay here. 

Let me stay here, looking at beautiful Lewis, who’s hands twitch under his race gloves as if he wants to touch Sebastian too. But then it all stops, and Sebastian is back at the start of the corridor. This time, everyone is closer together. He walks down, sees some familiar faces from the other lineup, but the colours of some people’s suits are different. They’re in a different order. There’s two Ferrari drivers in red, rather than just one, but he doesn’t recognise either. 

Sebastian’s own raceuit is green, when he looks down to not trip over a driver’s foot. He wonders if Jaguar has made a comeback, but then there’s Red Bull, and so no, that can't be right. The future is a funny place, it seems.

There’s even one driver that, God, is the spitting image of Michael’s little boy. Bright blonde hair, blue eyes in the shape of his father’s. Everyone’s clapping around him and so his future body pays special attention to the could-be Mick, his present mind trying to figure out if it's really him.

You’ll find out, Sebastian. No more predictions.

Yeah, yeah. Sorry.

He finds Lewis about halfway down, rather than all the way, and while he’s been clapping the hands of the rest of the driver’s, which is at least a little more intimate than a fistbump, he can lean in, properly, for a hug from Lewis. His body is firm under Sebastian’s, solid and familiar. Like he’s been this close to Lewis a million times over. 

And Lewis is the only one he gives such a close embrace to, and it’s such an overwhelming piece of knowledge that present Sebastian feels like crying. He can’t influence these things, seemingly, so his future self holds it together, somehow. Lewis says something, inches apart from Sebastian’s ear, he can feel his breath hot there. This familiar feeling is all over his body now, and it’s absolutely, certainly, love, whole and pure and Sebastian knows it as soon as he pulls apart and Lewis’ eyes are wet. 

He hopes he’s told Lewis. Or he hopes he will. Maybe Lewis has just said it to him.

We’ve got to go now, Sebastian. 

Okay. Thank you.

He takes one last look at Lewis, and he knows, somehow, in a way that the voice would probably chastise him for. He knows what’s right, which timeline is his. And there’s no certainty, when he wakes up in his hotel bed, note on the side from Britta detailing his wild night out that ended up with him blacked out, that it happened at all. Whether it was some elaborate dream, alcohol fuelled.

Sebastian doubts it. He saw Lewis in every single imagination and yet. He knows.

[mschimdt]

abc miles quaritch headcanons nsfw + short fluff story

i have a quaritch brainrot and there isnt enough content out there to FEED ME so i gotta feed myself, this has no plot btw (i left out some letters bc i didnt know what to put for them)

800 words

A-arousal (what turns him on)

quaritch can get turned on by litteraly anything, but especially when you have attitude, it turns him on knowing that hes gonna fuck the attitude out of you

A2-aftercare (how he takes care of you)

he'll run you either a bath or shower, normally bath because your legs basically go limp, then he kisses every inch of you and you both drift off to sleep

A3-Agressive (how agressive he is during sex)

very agressive and mean, but he makes up for it with aftercare, he also takes his anger out on you sometimes, during sex, never arguing tho, he doesnt like scaring you and will take his anger out on another recom if he has to, never on you

B-body part (his favorite part of your body)

quaritch is both a tit amd ass man, but hes more of a tit one, if he had the chance to he'd either fuck your tits or he'd use them as pillows

C-clothing (if he prefers clothing during sex)

sure he'd enjoy it if you wore sexy clothes during sex, but he likes it even more when youre completley nakes under him, it makes him feel like he has more power

D-degrading (if he degrades you or no)

ooh this man deffo enjoys degrading you, will whisper the nastiest and meanest shit in your ears knowing you get off to it

E-edging (does he edge you?)

damn well he does, he enjoys edging you then sropping whatever he was doing to hear your begs

F-face riding (does he enjoy it when you ride his face?)

normally when he lets you ride his face, hes fisting his cock behind you to your noises, he likes it when you ride his face mainly because he has lota of control over you

H-head (how often you give him head)

you give quaritch head alot, and you dont really complain because you love making him feel good, you usually give him head when yours too tired to have sex

J-jerk off (where he jerks off)

quaritch has no shame and will jerk off next to you, doesnt matter if youre awake or asleep, sometimes if youre awake you fist his cock to help him

K-kinks (just kinks)

quaritch has many kinks, but his favorite is degrading, he just loves dominating you, tying you up, you name it he's probably done it

P-porn (if he watches porn)

no not really since its not available on pandora, thats why he makes his own little private videos with you, he doesnt share them with anyone and keeps them to himself to use sometimes

Q-quiet (how loud you both are)

you both are no where near quiet, atleast you arent, but really no one cares, he likes it when people complain about the noise next moeming

R-rest (if he rests after it)

no, usually no unless its night or he had a rough day

S-sex drive (how horny he is)

hes always horny, trust me even when you arent soing anything intimate, if he looks your way he's immediatley horny, but when he iant hes loving and caring

T-thurst (his pace)

usually he has a very fast pace, but sometimes he goes slow in attempt to make love to you, only when hes in the mood for it though

to make up for how short this is, heres a short story ig, isk what to consider it, ita just fluff no smut

quaritch walked into your room, it was almost 1 am and you were confused as to why hes here at this time, sure you both were dating but its still weird why he'd be here

you watched him walk towards your bed and plop himself down on it laying himself next to you

"whyre you here at this time? not to be rude or anything, just a question" you said trying not to sound rude or annoyed because you really didnt mind his presence, you liked being around him

"no reason, i was just bored thought id drop in ere'" he said, sleepy voice, his sleepy voice was so goodamn hot

you saw his ears twitch, you couldnt resist how cute his ears fucking are, you crouched over to him raising your leg over his slim waist straddling him while he was asleep, he looked tired and that was confirmed when he didnt make a move to get you off him

he just moved his hand up to your thigh and soothingly rubbed his fingers across it

you laid yourself down on his chest legs still on both sides of his torso, you dropped your head next to his, he brpught his hand up to your hair playing with it slightly before you felt the movement stop

quaritch was fast asleepx he usually doesnt sleep first, seems like he had a tough day

you loved how he looked while asleep, its the most peaceful you see him, you admire his face slowly drifting to sleep after him

[thatneoncrisis]

You see but traditional griddlehark smut lacks the proper characterization and complexity necessary for many fans to enjoy it…

you say that but something like. oh i dont know. yellow card. has well over a thousand kudos and over 46k hits. i have come to terms with the reality that what i am selling is Not what the average gh fan is buying

on top of that, due it being the most popular ship by a long shot means there is WAY more variety in between each subgenre of stories. the characterization i dislike tends to crop up more overall but if i dig i can find some stuff i gel with

meanwhile i literally think theres like One pash and alecto fic that isnt mine and pash isnt even in it. also i dont like it its one of those fics where the author got mad someone called their ship problematic and wrote a whole story about how it doesnt matter but also the story itself is incredibly tame

point being. its smut. most of it Isnt going to be complex. the vast majority of people writing on ao3 do it because it makes them happy, and thus write stories that make them happy. i just happen to be one of those people who thinks its really fucking funny if its just strange and off-putting and barely sex at points. one of my favorite fics with those two is just them talking while harrow has her entire fist in gideons chest simulating a heart beat. they start arguing about if most people have ever tasted a bit of bone before. its a riot. my other favorite one is harrow and alecto where alecto acts like a dog. i may not respect the median of tlt porn but i acknowledge the state its in and act accordingly

tldr: if you REALLY want to write in character griddlehark sex you better be prepared to have them stop halfway through because it fucking sucks and nobody cums because harrow kept insisting on doing weird necro shit in bed. also so much talking. like too much talking

[fite-club]

asexual who is not attracted to their friend: i consent

their friend, fully aware of that fact and chill with it: i consent

some fucking idiot on tumblr: i DONT!

anyways. no one said that sex involving asexuals is "less horny." youre making up a guy to get mad at. defining horny as libido based or attraction based is debatable but i think most people consider it libido based. so, yes, Asexuals Can Be Horny.

that shit about treating people as sex objects is so infantilizing. as if people cant discuss their attraction and/or lack thereof as adults and still consent?

"do you want to hook up?"

"im asexual so i dont experience sexual attraction, but if that doesnt bother you, sure, sounds like fun."

"cool, i dont mind. lets fuck sloppy style"

woah crazy how easy that was 💯

and you dont even really NEED to do this for something like a one night stand? like if youre hooking up w someone at a bar and both of you intend and consent to it to be a one night only situation, what does it matter if youre asexual or not. why do they need to know that. what does it change. how does the presence of attraction deem it NOT using them as a sex object, but the lack of attraction is? two entirely identical scenarios, the only difference being asexuality.

its really pretentious to act like youre some kind of expert on sexuality.

i'm not making up a guy to get mad at, you're the guy. you think your sex is less horny because you think it lacks sexual attraction somehow. horny asexuals masturbate, they don't have sex with other people.

if someone says "wanna hook up?" and you say "i'm asexual, but sure, sounds like fun" then you are associating asexuals with people who can want and enjoy sex. actual asexuals are BEGGING you to stop doing this, because they want people to hear "i'm asexual" as "no, i don't want to have sex with you." that's why it matters if you're asexual or not; because asexuals don't want to have sex with other people (because they don't experience sexual attraction). the fact that you're both consenting isn't what i'm trying to argue against, i believe that everyone is consenting to sex in these scenarios, and that's exactly why there is sexual attraction involved. people who do not experience sexual attraction DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX. why would they?

i'm not claiming to be an expert but like, i sure as hell understand sexuality a lot better than you do!

[forestryfae]

“if you haven’t fucked in any way you’re a virgin if you have you’re not?? you can’t call yourself a virgin if you’re not” genuinely confused would you call rape victims virgins or would you consider that lying? i ‘lost my virginity’ bc of rape and categorically consider myself a virgin because i have never had consensual sex that i could enjoy, but i’ve had people say i’m lying by calling myself that which is why i ask

if you were raped you didnt fuck, being fucked implies consent. if you got fucked by a guy nonconsensually thats not being fucked, thats being raped. the main difference being that these are two entierly different things when theyre experienced. virginity is popularily talked about as a consensual act too, and losing your virginity is typically seen as a symbol of maturity and joy and something you wanted to do and looked forward to doing.

ofc theres the aspect where virginity is considered purity and innocence while not being a virgin is considered being a whore and tarnished and so on, but thats religious shit and im not religious + religion should not be the leading factor in a society-wide concept adapted in many different settings + its used to control peoples personal choices through shame + the only people who say that shit are weirdly obsessed with controlling what other peoples choices are, so fuck that.

theres also the ascpect where virginity is not only not having sex but also a lack of experience. you arent a virgin if you have fucked but you can be inexperienced. you dont have to lose your virginity from rape unless you personally feel it applies because rape doesnt involve the experience tied to having sex for the first time. sex is maybe scary or makes you nervous but should be a good experience of trust and fun. rape is violent and a horrendous act of intrusion on your very being.

basically you cant say youre a virgin if you have fucked. if youve only fucked once and lack experience youre still not a virgin by definition, virgin meaning youve never had sex. if youve consesually fucked someone, even if they were shit at it, you arent a virgin because by definition it doesnt apply to you. saying you identify as a virgin is at that point a lie because you have had sex if you fuck someone and neither of you cum that sucks but its still sex, technically, even if it didnt work as intended, so youre not really a virgin

if youve been raped you experienced something entierly other than consensual sex, so you can say youve lost your virginity because of rape if you want but i dont consider rape and sex to be the same act, even if it may overlap or look similar. being smacked across the face during any kind of BDSM because you asked them to do it for example is a completely different act than being smacked in the face by a someone on the street. intent matters and so does whether it was wanted or not.

the sex doesnt have to be PiV either, it can be oral, anal, mutual masturbation, etc, i would probably count clothed dry humping until you cum as a type of sex so youd lose your virginity that way too. anything sexual you do with another person that results in an orgasm, ideally, unless your partner was dogshit or you just didnt cum that time because you were giving a blowjob or whatever.

but i also think virginity is a really silly thing to be obsessed with as well, if you lose your virginity and you wanted to lose it then congrats on losing it, if you just wanted to try sex or youre a casual fucker then congrats on the sex. like literally it doesnt actually matter if it was your first time or not, it doesnt actually say anything about you as a person

the issue is when you lie and say you havent had sex when you have, and you arent doing it as a way to protect yourself (like in a religious setting or cult or just a culture thats very violent towards women). its also an issue if you tell your partner youre a virgin when youre not for like? three reasons?? first of all, if youre inexperienced just say that. youve fucked, youre not a virgin, dont lie to them, just be honest about your experience. secondly if your partner cares that much about whether youve fucked anyone else before them thats a red flag. its fine if its just a conversation topic obvs but if they start asking how many people youve slept with because they need to know whether youre "used" or "loose" or "a whore" or whatever thats not someone you wanna be in a relationship with. thirdly its just weird to lie about that for no reason fourthly if you have had sex you could potentially have an STD or something transmittable and you should be honest with your partner about that. if you have like chlamydia from a previous partner your sex partner deserves to know so they can make an informed decision and not get sick because you lied to them. ofc you can get some STDs without having had sex, like fungal or bacterial infections, but your partner deserves to know about that too. thats probably not as relevant though since thats something inherently tied to health and not virginity.

basically the conclusion is you cant say youre a virgin if youve done consensual sex acts with someone that resulted (ideally) in an orgasm. like. thats the base definition. a virgin is someone who hasnt had sex. having had sex means youve had sex. it doesnt make sense to have sex and lie to someone and say nah i havent had sex unless you are in danger if you dont lie. rape isnt a consensual sex act, its an act of sexual violence that looks similar. you cant lose your virginity from rape. you can lose your virginity from rape if youve been raped and you dont want to consider yourself a virgin anymore because of it for some reason, although you can change your mind about that too, but aside from that the definition just doesnt allow for it to be the same thing. sex needs consent, rape doesnt have that. different scenario

that and also its weird to lie about your virginity if youve had consensual sex because why would it be neccessary to hide your sexual history? why does what youve done with your body in the past matter so much to your partner that you need to hide it? like i still think its really weird to lie to like your friends or people in general about being a virgin but thats also a lot more harmless and doesnt really matter as much aside from like. making your weird for lying about it. but if youre lying to your partnerr about it thats a red flag, either for you for refusing to disclose your sexual history and like whether you have experience or potentially STDs, and for playing with your partners trust. like imagine youre dating someone and they tell you theyre a virgin but after a while you find out they arent. thats sketchy. why would they hide it from you? its also a red flag for your partner because if you have to lie to a person youre supposed to trust about something as inconsequencial as your body count you probably shouldnt fuck that person or be around them that much.

on top of all of that im a stickler for definitions and i just think its bad to water down the meanings of things, if something means something it means that thing. its like saying something is orange because its red or yellow. NOT! the same thing! thats entierly a different thing! being a virgin means you HAVE NOT had sex! if you have you arent a virgin! if you know basic math that doesnt make you a mathematical prodigy! if you just focused on something you needed to do thats not hyperfocus, you just focused! if someone just lied to you they arent gaslighting you! theyre just lying! words have meanings! its fine for language to evolve but words mean things and we shouldnt water down the meanings of old words just because we can! if virginity is a concept we wanna get rid of or alter we should be changing it in a way that makes sense! not lying about whether or not weve fucked for reasons that are inherently sketchy.

so yeah no being raped isnt the same as losing your virginity by definition. also i make all the rules forever so noone can tell me im wrong ever because i think this is how things should work. some people think of virginity as including rape and i think theyre dumb, so i refuse to consider them to be correct too.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

My truth is that I read acotar (is that the acronym?) as a joke and I actually enjoyed it like a lot. I feel like the author tricked the booktok girlies into reading a good series by adding like 2 sex scenes 💀. Cause the first one does truly read so booktok like but then the seccond book is like “jk! That guy who was creepy but sexy is actually just evil and a bad guy now” so it’s fun

I've heard so many conflicting takes on it.

Mostly good from people i know irl, hence why i have a copy. i did get part way through, idk why i stopped reading it, but my usual DNF reasons are 'i got uncomfortable' or 'i got really angry at something that doesnt matter....' sooooo.

it might've been her leaving the room when she got told not to bc im pretty sure she does that like 800 times and i just... DONT LEAVE THE FUCKING ROOM SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS EVERY TIME.

I do know the author is a piece of shit, though, so... either way.

[lovelifelikeitsyourlastlife]

MAY 27

shit where to i start yesterday i meet up with junior my i wanna say first high school boyfriend that i had. and bruh i got high not super high but still high enough to feel it and we ended up having sex he wasnt playing when he said he was gonna be rough like it was alright we went at it for a good amount till i started bleeding and we stopped. but it was alright he did like over hyped how good and how “big” his dick was, honnestly Alan (joels friend) has been the biggest one of all of 12 guys ive had sex with and even then he still wasnt good enough to have me satified so to my concluion dick size doent play a factor in me being able to finally experiance an organism, so far the only guy so has even gotten me hella close to one was luis and he wasnt even fucking me he was just fingering me, if i wasnt so scared to let lose and really let myself have it im pretty sure i wouldve been able to expenaice an orgams all on my own many times by now with just masterbating, but my fear of not having control of my body is what ruins things for me, maybe thats also why when i get high i havent been able to enjoy it like i see people do in movies or videos because im just now calm or enjoying it, i stay trying to fight it , fighting to gain control. anyways the sex was alright i had better, but i not gonna tell him that. being high help at least not focus much on if i like it or not it acttually help me to just enjoy it, and not over think it, next time when i go back im not gonna smoke to see how the sex really is, with me being aware and conncuisse i might drink just so i dont be all shy and shit cause the weed also help with that it helped me be a little more open, also th fact that junior was actually making converation with me and asking me things. we were both high anyways so being quite really didnt matter cause we would both doze off like its the next day so bacally its been 24 hrs now and im barely feeling normal again so for the high to completely ware off and be out of my system its takes more then 24 hrs, while sully over was telling me how in an hr it was gonna ware off, speacking about sully, her and this whole “wedding” of hers is just unbelivebale my mom says shes once again just trying to make me jealous or something like that but like if that was true it isnt working cause shes not even in love everthing was planned like nothing was a surprice, like those are the best things about getting enganged and getting married shes litterly only geting married because she doesnt wanna be alone, cause shes tired of fucking with dudes that in her words shes tired of being a dumbass and giving assholes a chance but its no ones fault but hers not being easy and having guys not  respect her i stay telling her she needs to stop fucking guys who clealry are only trying to get in her pants marrige shouldnt be a just cause things especially if getting married at a church in front of god, marrgie should be with someone you truly love and see your life with them forever , not just because your tired of “assholes” like its as simple as just staying single and waiting on the right guy to come along who isnt gonna ask for sex right away, like for me once a guy askes for sex right away i dont take them sereious, if i want to ill still have se with them and they could possibale be able to win me over if they want something serious with me but that doesnt mean that ima give in super easy with just the first lovey doevy thing they do but idk its hard to explain my way of thinking.

[ratrap]

It's okay to be confused, that's what people like that encourage so they can keep you in their grip, and it's normal to want praise but it shouldn't have to come from someone who exploits it and only only cares about your self-esteem in the context of getting you to play into his bullshit. There's nothing to feel guilty for, you're not 'content' to take pictures of you're a real human being and if he wants that shit he should've found someone who already enjoys doing that or paid a sex worker. I'd like to hope these communities had less tolerance for someone being blatantly coerced but with the shithead anons you've had before who knows, either way it IS wrong and we both know that. There's a life on the other side of this. Trust your feelings no matter how difficult it gets.

thank you.. you are right. i know how i really feel no matter what he says. But im just i dont know how to describe it i guess i just feel powerless in the situation. He is taking pictures of me which reinforces to me that he is probably recording me too i dont know where hes putting it and honestly i dont really wanna know. He tells me he doesnt want to make me fatter but then when hes In The Moment he tells me he does want to do that to me and that I'll like it and he'll look after me. I feel so disconnected from real life and i dont wanna be manipulated anymore ive been trying not to be as responsive and he thinks im just sad about my mum or im not feeling well, which im not i guess both of those things are true but i cant say i dont want to be with him or anything because i dont think it would be ok for me. Some people he got me to follow on here have messaged me with concern. he gets me to send them messages sometimes because he wants me to let him take more pictures of me. so i have to try to avoid showing him that people are concerned i feel like he doesnt really know how Tumblr works so i can kind of manage it. I hope i have a more of a life again someday

[kidkintsugi]

another epic transmasculinity moment in combination with everything that went to shit recently.

tw for below cut: dysphoria, slight n/s/f/t topics

aye so this week was absolute bullcrap?

i started hating my flatmate with a burning passion. i tried to excuse his laziness multiple times but ive given up on him. hes just an ass and a useless one at that.

i usually dont talk about other people like this because it makes ME feel bad because im being "mean" or whatever but with him? holy COW hes crossed multiple lines. very little to no remorse on this one.

he does not clean his shit and makes me buy things that are shared, like soap for example. i bought a new container of soap once i noticed that were running low, not ONCE did he make the effort to get some soap himself. its like this with other things as well.

his only humour is making a fool out of me (which i can handle. its just annoying) or sexual shit (also mostly involving me) and since im running a 2 person household on my own essentially i had some type of meltdown/breakdown this last weekend. developed a nervous tic because of it too which gets worse the more tired/frustrated i am. i also seem to have some stomach problems whenever im out of it nowadays and its gotten to the point that people asked me if im hungry because its just. that loud. REALLY uncomfortable especially in class.

today he overslept, which happens multiple times, but today was also the first day he actually had some consequences due to it which i like! but THEN he has the audacity to ask if i "tried to wake him up" which, to me, implies that he thinks im obligated to. almost yelled at him right then and there i had to leave the fucking room.

its also kind of my fault i guess? i could just communicate my problems with him more openly, directly order him to clean/buy/whatever but then i remember.

this guy is as old as i am.

i am NOT his fucking dad or something he should be doing these things UNPROMPTED when living together with someone he barely knows!!

on another note, the guy that realized that im trans is spending more time with me recently and i genuinely enjoy spending time with him as well, hes one of the very few people that doesnt get on my nerves. he plays my favorite videogames with me which are my special interest :)

this comes with a problem however: were both mlm and openly mlm at that, so people began "shipping" us (eugh. hate to use this word in this context).

usually i would find it funny, he finds it funny too because we both know that its not gonna happen but this comes with a certain problem.

people begin putting you in boxes, whether conciously or unconciously. especially with gay relationships, a lot of people seem to be fascinated by the idea that same sex couples still somehow have to fit into heteronormative "standards" (stuff like "who wears the pants" "whos the woman" "who takes it up the ass")

obviously im in a bad position. next to my friend, i am smaller. have wider hips, the face of a twelve year old and when i get nervous my voice goes higher in pitch.

if we WERE in a relationship, i would be percieved as "the woman".

that is so, so painful. no matter how hard i try, unless i end up with a super feminine twink bf (lol purposefully exaggerated im sorry), im gonna be the more feminine one and that is extremely shitty when it comes to passing in public.

had it happen today: i go out to grab boba with my friend.

this might just be my paranoia, but i have a feeling that for mlm couples, due to the way that society is, we dont really look like couples to the average heterosexual because unless we were to make out right in front of them homosexuality just isnt a possibility that comes to mind.

so we go up to the counter to place our order and the guy asks if "my friend is paying for me". nothing unusual BUT my language uses the same word for friend platonic and boyfriend/girlfriend romantic in some cases, meaning that it was very, very ambiguous, but to us it sounded like he meant it romantically.

my friend of course just laughs it off and i would like to be able to laugh too, but the truth is that HE was the one referred to as my "boyfriend". what does that make me in the eyes of a heteronormative society? with wide hips, a high voice and a babyface?

exactly. the girlfriend. checkmate.

dysphoria has been bad in general this week and in combination with all the other shitty feelings i couldnt shower. lower body dysphoria reached its peak too.

people joke about me being the bottom, stereotypically the more feminine one in the relationship and its beginning to hurt because they dont even KNOW. i just kinda wish i could talk about it, say that it makes me uncomfortable but that would make me suspicious and everyone in my class is already suspicious enough.

theres nothing i can do. i will have to live like this forever probably. i think i need to readjust my personality again just so i dont come across as androgynous or whatever. i also really need to get rid of my customer service voice, as i like to call it.

[hopeididntscareyou]

maybe this isnt the best way to deal with things. i probably got this from my dad, but i tend to intentionally do things that i know that would hurt a person, not because i want to hurt them but because i care about them and for me "betraying" them would be the only way to save them. i sacrifice my reputation, even though i would look like the bad guy. even though people would hate and resent me. i dont really care that much about their feelings about me anyways. but ya, sometimes it happens. but im just doing it for their own good. so even though, yes i am running deception, i wouldn't say i am completely ethically corrupted as at the end of the day, i feel fulfilled that i do something good for the humanity.

also unrelated topic but i don't understand why people judge others negatively about casual sex. i have been a virgin for a very long time and i dont care if the love of my love has ever done casual sex. its not a redflag to me. no i am not someone who will sleep around but in my opinion there is nothing wrong with having sex with someone you're not in a relationship with as long as you're not hurting anyone or anything in the process. sex is a human experience that you can share with someone and for it to be good and ethical it doesnt have to require a romantic relationship. this is why the dating pool is bad. its so full of people playing RPG for sex because everyone are just conditioned by the society that the end goal is to find a LTR and build family and shit. I'm not even going to start with my antinatalism philosophical bullshit, so to keep it short i just wanna say that its not everyone's life's purpose to build a family. you can reproduce in your own means without creating a human offspring. you can leave an even more remarkable product on this planet by pursueing your passions instead and who knows you would even be remembered by so many generations unrelated to you for it. so many physicists, philosophers, scientists did great things by helping this world made sense and a lot of them died without partners/children. think of isaac newton, nietzsche, etc. i kinda went off tangent with that but back to my original topic, cant we just appreciate sex for what is it and stop associating it only with dating and reproducing? also, casual sex is not always meaningless. for most people it means nothing but for me its not. if i would have sex with someone it means its because i trust them, i'm attracted to them and i appreciate and respecte them as another human being. and in order for that to happen there should be a mutual connection. you have to build trust. its literally just like dating except i don't have any expectations that it will last forever, it just means i am trying to enjoy the present moment for what it is and not limiting myself due to society's test of morality. yes i dont require a commited relationship but it doesnt also mean i would be having sex with every man i get involved with. its not meaningless repetitive shit to me. to me it should be always special and a good experience and if its not then whats the point? i'd rather stay celibate then. but to be honest, one of the reasons why i have been a virgin for a long time is because i was scared people will get the wrong idea of me. but now that im in my mid 20s and old enough to have so many experiences being slutshamed even as a virgin, i dont give a fuck anymore. life is too short to let others opinions rule my life's choices. i realized, no matter what you do, ppl will say whatever they want but it will be always a reflection of their own character and insecurities more than yours. as long as i make myself clear about what i want out of something, then i dont worry about nothing. life becomes easier when you're more honest about yourself than to play stupid redpill mind games.