#not because i myself am a twin IRL

[sofieartz]

[ Fnaf Fanart ]

//Blood and Slight Gore

Well, would you look at that.

I'm back to my fnaf phase....

I drew this a couple months back, finally had the time to finish it, just in time for the anniversary!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for killing my fake identity?

💀📚🎭 for finding

This sounds really weird but hear me out

When I was younger, around 7th grade, I was hanging out at a local site (I am not American) for writing books and making other writer friends. For some reason, I really hated going online as myself. Maybe it's because it was still the time when people actually emphasized online safety to kids or maybe just because I hated myself. v(￣ー￣)v

Anyway I made up an online persona named Jordan (14f) (yes I am referring to her as a real person even though she does not exist) and made up a whole story about her being an American immigrant and being a triplet (I really wished I had a twin at the time) and made a whole personality for her and random stories that "happened" to her throughout her life

So I was Jordan for a while, and it was all fun and well and I wrote some books under her name and had my friends on the site (even met one irl on accident and asked if they know her lol) but it was starting to get boring so I wrote a heart wrenching story about how Jordan died by getting hit by a car when she ran to pet a dog (yes I know) and made kind of an open memorial book dedicated to her where people could submit their condolences or thoughts about her or something.

The thing is people actually did write things like how they really liked her and are sad that she's gone and will miss her and honestly I feel really bad still (I'm 20 for reference) for causing people to actually think they lost a friend but maybe I'm just overthinking and it's just a silly story from when I was 12

So yeah AITA?

[discoveredreality]

intro post <3

don't mind me editing this like every single day lol

my dm's and askbox is always open if u want to talk <3

anons are welcome too <3

also if u want to make new friends i am right here pls say hi im fucking lonely😭

anyways

BELOVED MOOTS <33333 (everyone is tagging them and this is fun)

this in no particular order just whoever pops up on my dash or smth idk. not every moots just the ones i actually know lol. ok so

@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon THEY'RE AMAZING LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF BECAUSE OMG KJHLGJKFJHLKYFJHKJGL

@ma-lan13 HELP MY BESTIE IRL GOT TUMBLR OMG OMG. AND SHES ACTUALLY USING IT WTF?????? ANYWAYS SHES THE BEST <333

@bloophasarrived SHE'S THE SWEETEST AND SO WONDERFUL. HER PERSONALITY SPARKLES AND OMG SHE'S SO FUN AHHH

@marylily-my-beloved I LOVE HERRR WE HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS. SO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW ME SO WELL <3333

@im-just-here4853 my vent buddy omg we just vent to each other i love her so much idk what i would do without her <33

@im-on-crack-send-help TWINNING IN LITERALLY EVERYTHING. SAME MUSIC TASTE. SAME TASTE IN FOOD. IN DRINKS. IN THE WAY WE THINK. WTF. ANYWAYS SHE'S MY POOKIE I LOVE HER <333

@the-gay-skeleton-in-ur-closet THEY'RE THE BEST OMGGGGG and they're nice and cool and shit <333333 i'm quoting myself it's fine AND LIKE SO NICE AND GOOFY AND EVERYTHING OMG

@cubemagnet somene i met on a random post and now we occasionally team up to correct grammar lol 🤓🤓🤓 anyways she's amazing :D and everything she says is so iconic like isjflsrijglruhglsuglijrsg

@book-girl4eva SHE'S AMAZINGGGGG. IT'S SO EASY TO GOOF AROUND W HER I LOVE IT. SHE ALWAYS SLAYS SO HARD. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SLAYS. idk if you'll see this but this is for u pookie <3

@mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am ??? questioning why we're moots. but he's literally so nice. literally will be my therapist and help me w maths because that shit is impossible 😭

@dandelionflowery omg literally so kind and everything all the time. so fun fun reading their fics and doing shit together omg

@sweetwarmcookies16 OMG RIJGDJFGIJFGIF THE BEST I LOVE PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER AND TALKING AND EVERYTHING. ALSO AN AMAZING WRITER

idk brain isnt braining ill add ppl as i go along

moodboards made by my lovely lovely moots <3

so far i only have one here cause i forgot to link the previous ones whoops 😭😭😭

about me

i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. minor. literally the biggest procrastinator and so disorganised i dare u to find someone worse than me. i'm indian but i live in australia. bengali/north indian idk. band kid :D my pinterest is here. PLEASE DM ME IF U WANT TO. I NEED FRIENDS. IM AWKWARD AND BAD AT MAKING CONVERSATION BUT STILL PLS 😭😭😭

personality/star sign or whatever

according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(

time zone

Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think?? SUCK ON THAT AMERICANS AND WHOEVER ELSE EHHEHEHHEHE ;LSDJFSFJIJFDJF;LJ

my music taste

i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter and honestly a lot of other stuff lol. also love bollywood music.

favourite books and authors

i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the inheritance games, agggtm, literally all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, pjo and hoo, lorien legacies, the selection, powerless, soc, girl in pieces, dictionary of lost words and bookbinder of jericho, all the books by amish, and a bunch of other books.

dni

idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf

tag games and shit

yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol

tags

i don't post that much stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?

fandoms!

i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i love love love hermitcraft. i'm an ethogirl literally who doesn't love etho?? also really into trafficblr. i literally love six of crows so much like omg. desperately trying to get through the magnus archives im only 8 years late haha i also love kotlc sm. (team foster-keefe forever!) i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen cause omg. aaaand also a bunch of other shit but those are the main ones idk bro

i'm bored and this is too long already might as well add more so here are a bunch of userboxes :D

and that's all not because i have self control but because there is a limit to images per post 😭😭😭 i literally had to delete some of my aesthetic images for this soooo

all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.

my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here

the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good

IK THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND I KEEP ON ADDING SHIT MORE SHIT SO IF U ACTUALLY LIKE READ TO THE BOTTOM THIS HERE IS FOR U LMFAO ILYSM <333333

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

I greatly appreciate our brainrot time because otherwise I think I would go bonkers and I don't think my IRL friends can handle this level of brainrot. If any of them find my Ao3 or Tumblr by some miracle, I would perish on the spot. They don't need to know.

Anyway, I am obsessed with Legend's little brother vibes. He's like the older middle child. Can be responsible when he needs/wants to, but otherwise prefers being a thorn in the oldest's side. He's a stupid little goofball and I love that for him. I need him to team up with Time for a dumb prank because who would expect The Hero of Legend and The Hero of Time to do something like that??

Slightly related to that, I love it when he's a twin in modern AUs. LOVE IT. But what I want is for him to be Warriors' twin and Hyrule to be Wind's twin (or something close to that). I think it would be a good combination, especially if it's something like a mixed family dynamic where Legend and Warriors end up being brothers with Hyrule and Wind for some random reason so it goes from your regular older brother and younger brother dynamic to the younger brother suddenly dealing with his own younger brothers pestering him. Less accidental baby acquisition, more accidental younger brother acquisition.

(I will end up writing this because I'm crazy, we all know it, there's no point in denying it at this point.)

I also keep thinking about the War of Eras stuff and like... it's always a time paradox. It's always a time paradox. I can't get the idea of the guys teaching each other things, it's too sweet. Like, don't you have to wonder if Warriors teaches Wind how to do first aid because Tune taught him first? It's probably more likely he learned from someone else, but it's a thought. I'm slowly dying on the inside thinking about how much Tune would do for the captain because he wants to return the favor and ldjkgdfgjdirjgdlgrijgdlirjfdrijtelkjfd--

I genuinely appreciate the daily brainrots so much too 😭 like i come home at the end of a long day and i get excited to see it come in my inbox aslkgkjhg. i got a few people irl who know im bat shit on tumblr and on ao3, my fuckin fiancee literally follows this blog and i know they don’t check it often but i do live in the fear of the day i get a text or call about some super specific odd ass shit post i made🧍‍♂️and then one of my best friends reads Fierce Hero 9, which is honestly fucking hilarious to me because she knew NOTHING about LU when she started reading it (i only recently convinced her to join the dark side /j), she just heavily fucks with big hero 6, and yknow what i respect that. but if my COLLEGE friends ever found this blog?? killing myself immediately. killing myself, deleting the blog, and moving to the other side of the planet actually. and my family knows I write fanfiction but if they ever read or found it?? theres not a group of people on this earth who would be able to find me, my ass would be GONE.

I LOVE LEGEND AND HIS STUPID LITTLE BROTHER ENERGY IT’S SO EVERYTHING TO ME. he’s a little shit and we need to all talk about that more 😔 LEGEND AND TIME WORKING TOGETHER ON A PRANK?? OH MY GOD. IT’D BE FUCKING OVER FOR EVERYONE ELSE. THEY’D GET AWAY WITH IT AND POOR HYRULE, WILD, OR WIND WOULD END UP GETTING BLAMED 😭

oh my god i never not once even thought of Legend and Wars being twins. I guess part of it is cos i headcanon they got like a literal decade between em, and i never thought about making them that close in age, let alone the SAME age. Even in my modern au’s, Wars is 2-3 years older. Them as twins would be SO fucking funny though oh my GOD. ACCIDENTAL BROTHER ACQUISITION, IM GONNA BE FUCKIN USING THAT OH MY GOD AKNSKJSNKJSN

(write it and my life is yours /ref)

oh my god i love war of eras trio time paradoxes so fucking much. SOOOO fucking much. Just the idea of Wars teaching Wind some little thing and then Tune having that knowledge to help Captain Link?? EATING IT UP. Or Wind being the world’s biggest shit to Time and him absolutely RUTHLESSLY clapping back, just for Tune to pull the EXACT same soul destroying comeback seemingly out of his ass to hit Mask with when Mask decides to be a snarky little shit. Who started it? We’ll never know

[picturejasper20]

Been reading some of ur posts (I think I found u through this post I am showing here. I.e., the screenshot down below, and not a link, because sometimes Tumblr let's me link stuff, sometimes it doesn't. And this time is the latter. Anyways, gonna be talking (mainly, maybe completely, the post down below):

And yeahhhhh, Dipper's dream (or well, nightmares. Because it was more like a nightmare. And the (s), because it was reoccurring nightmares) really helped even further explain a lot of some of the way Dipper (and to some extent, Mabel) acts/acted. Like seeking authority figures, wanting to stay with Ford/Gravity Falls

(though, that was also just Dipper having even more matured, and wanting to try something he cared about, instead of giving something up again. My dude Dipper sometimes gives up a lot of stuff and/or fate really seems out to get him sometimes),

trying to be mature/realizing he might need to grow up faster (and/or like u said, maybe some parentification going on with Dipper. Be that on purpose, on accident, and/or some mixture of that). Etc.

Like, the Dipper nightmares reveal is so interesting/makes a lot of sense

(which is why I find it kind weird how split some people are about this reveal. Not saying u can't still interpret Dipper's nightmares in different ways. Or how the Pines Parents are. Be it better or worst or etc. I do think Dipper's nightmares/dreams leaves a lot of room for interpretation (purposefully). I just find it a bit weird how split some people are, because like, while I do go back and forth on interpretations of the Pines parents myself or I can like a variety of different interpretations of them myself.

(To me, it always seemed kind of implied (imo) in some ways, that they weren't the best parents. Or at least, could be better. Which is you know, normal in irl. Even with good/better parents. And I certainly don't agree with the people saying things or at least the ending makes less sense w/ this reveal. I think things make more sense personally. And/or at least don't make less sense)

I also just wanted to say I read some of ur other mainly GF posts (like the one some about GF's ending, along with Amphibia's and TGOMM some. And the one about one of the stories in Gravity Falls Lost Legends), and I gotta to say they were interesting reads

(Even if I didn't completely agree with them. Like, I think GF's end is basically perfect. And would rank it over Amphibia's and TGOMM. Though, I love Amphibia's final two long(er) episodes A LOT too. And TGOMM's is really great too. I prefer GF and Amphibia's over TGOMM, but that is partially because I love both series more/prefer the 2 series's).

I do think Mabel is just a kid and has moments of selflessness and caring, just like Dipper has many moments of selflessness, but also can sometimes be selfish too (Though, with Dipper, he developed a lot/matured a lot. Mabel some too. They are both great) they are both just kids and seem like real humans to me), and that we shouldn't be too hard on her. But as a Dipper fan (I love Mabel and the mystery twins in general), yeah, sometimes Dipper did end up giving a lot (not really just for Mabel though).

This is getting really long, so I am going to split this Ask into two Asks.

1/?.

2/2

Okie, first thing is that i appreciate your message. Happy to know you enjoyed reading those posts I wrote some months ago. So thanks regarding that.

On the point of Dipper and Mabel not having good parents. Even when i watched the series i remember feeling like something was off. I remember those clips of their parents taking their things away and sending them to Uncle Stan like they were in a rush? It felt to me that there was a reason of why they were doing that.

As you said, if one pays attention to Dipper and Mabel's characters you can tell that there is something going on with both of them. I recall another fan telling me that Dipper didn't take care of himself well and that he often didn't sleep? (With the recurrent nightmare reveal it makes more sense).

The way i see it is that are quite neglectful and they may make Dipper feel like he is different because of how he struggles making friends while Mabel comes off as more social and more ¨normal¨ kid to them. I think they kinda make Dipper having to take care of Mabel and having to be more mature in a way.

They probably have frequent arguments and their relationship is pretty tense? Because it is bad enough for Dipper to have nightmares about it. I assume that the kids didn't pick how bad things were until recently. From what it is impled Dipper may be more aware that their parents' relationship isn't good.

But i doubt they don't care about Dipper and Mabel, because i feel they care enough about them to send them somewhere else do they don't have to deal with all these issues they are having. I think they aren't terrible parents but they probably need to get divorced imo.

As for Mabel, yeah. I don't hate her nor anything but like i feel like Dipper was better written than her as character or more well thought out. Mabel's problems with being self- centered get explored in Lost Legends in a way that is pretty cool, so yeah, nice. (And we get more of Pacifica too)

The book confirming better than their parents aren't good also explains better some of their decisions and behaviour in the show. (Like why Mabel wanted to stay in Gravity Falls).

As for the last point, i think i could write about Dipper's issues when it comes putting boundaries or letting others walk over him but i would have to rewatch some episodes to analyse that in more detail.

[bluespiderlully]

Proships' philosophy

Edit: I'll say that I didn't want to start a war in the first sentence of this post, the war for some reason started, sorry guys. If you want to stay away from the battle, you can, just don't be too violent, mustard gas was prohibited in 1925 by the Geneva Convention, it's illegal so don't throw it and be nice, please.

I don't want to start a war guys, I swear, but I've red some posts here and on reddit, or conversations on discord from proshippers, saying thay proshipping is legit just like any other kind of shipping and when someone says them "Hey, I don't like you're shipping these two characters togheter because one of them is a minor and you romanticised the p word or the r word (we'll come to that later, keep that in mind) they completely lose their minds and go berserk; the only thing I'm asking myself is... does this make sense if someone just makes you notice that you're romanticising something that shouldn't be romanticised, and that's objective, in a minor x adult relationship there's often a power dynamic, where one is superior and the other is submitted, of course I'm talking about larger age gaps and not about ships where a character is 17 so they're a minor and the adult character is 18, I think that most of you reading this was in this situation irl, and there's absolutely nothing wrong, but when a character is 14 and another one is 21 well...

The same thing happens in incest, and I am the first person that likes the Jaime x Cersei ship in Game of Thrones, why? Because it's well written, it's realistic. You see this dynamic, Jaime is STRONGLY submitted to Cersei, in fact at one point of the story he leaves her and she freaks out, not because she loves him but because from her pov she owns him, that's different.

Do you want another example? I LOVE the Twin Princes lore in DS3, even in that case there's subordination, Loroian chooses (or does he?) to share his brother Lothric's curse and cripples himself for his sake, defending him from being liked to the First Flame, but he's DEPENDENT from Lothric, you see it in the boss fight and again, this is well written.

But let's come to the r word, toxic relationships are ruining today's literature. Here's your daily reminder that Stockholm syndrome is a medical condition and not romantic at all. I keep seing the bad abusive boy x innocent girl and this is more medieval than actual medieval tales (Lancelot and Guinevre didn't have a toxic relationship).

But again, you can totally write toxic relationships, guess what, it's one of my favourite tropes. I think Hazbin Hotel has a poor writing sometimes but, for example, Valentino and Angel Dust's relationship is very well written, even if what's going on in their relationship is obvious many people are writing fanfictions where they romanticise their relationship... guys... why!? Is everything fine with you?!

I mostly write about KNY and this fandom has a similar situation, I don't get why you all ship RenKaza. This whole thing of romanticising their relationship doesn't make sense in the canon universe, it can make sense in a modern AU, or in an AU where they're both slayers, I think they could get along very well. But people are writing fanfiction where Kyojuro survives and Akaza looks for him, then he finds him, Kyojuro is like "heeey no, you tried to kill me" but they fall in love. Someone who has the intent to kill you doesn't change his mind in a blink of an eye, plus, Akaza was doing his job, he was pretty happy to kill Kyojuro since he wasn't becoming a demon, their whole conversation before starting the fight was "become a demon Kyojuro" "no" "Okay, I'm killing you".

But I've red very good fanfics about Akaza having an obsession about Kyojuro, and these were so good, I can't find the author anymore so *grabs a megaphone and screams in earrape* PLEASE SHOW YOURSELF AND LINK YOUR WORKS SOMEWHERE, IF I WAS A SCULPTOR I'D MAKE YOU A STATUE BUT I'M A SINGER SO THE BEST I CAN DO IS SING YOU A SONG (same for people who will link me this fanfictio). Let's get back to our serious discussion, in these fics Akaza was looking for Kyojuro in his future life too, and Kyojuro's mind was completely fucked up, he was never happy for what happened, he was being threatened and abused, but hey, that's angst, that's not romantic and it's an interesting topic, I can't say the opposite.

So basically ship what you like, there's a way to put your favourite pairing togheter without making it horribly wrong, AUs are a great thing so please use them, and there's nothing wrong in writing about a toxic relationship either, but you have to do it with sensibility, otherwise I can tell you that it's just extremely disrespectful.

[alwaysinstyle]

A Long-Overdue RANT Girlies Appreciation Post

Tonight feels like the perfect night to tell you how much I love you all, and I apologize in advance for the length of this post.

~ Nina ~

My precious Pastel Woods outfit hype-woman who’s always ready to Style Carry™️ me onto the battle field, deceive the enemies with her iconic mermaid hair extensions and then KICK SOME ASS for the both of us. Darling, if your Pinterest board is any indication, you have me absolutely figured out and it is both hilarious and iconic. You are for real my Kenny-coded friend’s evil twin and I know without a doubt that you two would go full GTA mode on the NPC bad drivers to bring me an iced coffee (from ANYWHERE but the Bad Vibes Café). Speaking of which, I hoping you’re treating yourself to an iced chai, because you deserve it, you gorgeous and talented REAL author who I adore. Thanks for climbing up on stilts to give me a kiss on the cheek whenever I’m feeling down. Your constant kind words mean so much to me and yes, you did make me cry actual tears when you called me your IRL Superhero. Your dear Wal-Mart Taylor Swift sends all the love in the world.

~ Teri ~

Scary Teri, my favorite Ten Ferrets Stacked in a Trench Coat, my fellow road rage gal who loves screaming in the car as much as I do. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate you for biting the bullet and being the Cartman friend with whom I can make THE darkest jokes and tell THE darkest stories (and, of course, exchange graphic jump-scare surgery pics) without scaring you away. At the end of it all, you still tell me I’m vibrant and resilient, and that warms my heart more than I can express. Thank you for allaying my fears of becoming a Cynical Asshole (formal diagnosis as you all know). Thank you for making me feel strong when I feel weak. I look forward to many, many more unhinged conversations and overly analytic beta reads of your spectacular fics. I do, in fact, still expect to receive a package containing the buckets of tears I have harvested through Hourglass.

~ Riley ~

My dearest WARRIOR, sword-wielding protector Riley, co-sponsor of the Style Carry™️ who makes me spontaneously combust with everything she writes. We come together to form one joint Whump Deity as the Queen of Injury Fics and the Queen of Sickfics, and I love that everyone on ao3 GENUINELY lumps us together as one being. I don’t blame them since we really do be sharing one brain cell. It kicks ass being each other’s target audience because even with our most self-indulgent shit, mark my worms, the other WILL be absolutely blended. Whenever I’m feeling down, you’re ALWAYS locked and loaded with lizard pics and not to mention graphic illness and injury for my viewing pleasure. Your fics, bedtime stories and sneak peeks that are ALWAYS tacitly solicited bring me such an incredible amount of joy. I mean it. It was the sweet siren call of OJV that brought me to Tumblr in the first place. I am so glad to have come to the dark side and to have become a RANT girly, and I owe that all to you. You are the heart of RANT, dear. Without you we’re just ANT, and ants aren’t even that cool. Thank you so very much for being the ultimate hype gal, for being THE world’s best commenter, for reminding me to take care of Ye Olde Flesh Prison when I’m being terrible about it, and for worrying about me when I’m too stubborn to worry about myself. Your support means the world to me, my dude. Our chats and headcanon dumps have actually been the grounding force keeping me sane (ironically, since we’re so insane about Style). Keep kicking ass and avoiding creepy pizza men, okay? I love you so much and I love being NOT normal together.

@1moreoffkeyanthem @asteria7fics @boxwinebaddie

All three of you, and everyone else on this crazy website who makes me smile, THANK YOU.

[yurianonikki]

21|07|24| yulia’s diary

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.╰┈➤. entry 1; into the new world,

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆╰┈➤. today's mood; content - happy?> a bit bored, but motivated. confused.

๋࣭⭑╰┈➤ i dont know if moving was a good decision. im having regrets, lots of regrets i guess, i left everything i knew behind in what feels like a split second decision. everything i became used to over the past nearly 11 years was gone in just a few weeks. everything i learned at school, pointless. i cant use that information for anything because i dont study the same subjects anymore. i do miss my small citizenship class, and my much larger and chaotic health&social care class. music just isn't as entertaining. but at least i get to do history still??? i mean theres only 1 person in music who i talk to - and she used to have a crush on my boyfriend 😬. my friends who i knew (but lowkey hated 🤫) were gone. speaking of friends, i cut contact with nearly everyone i knew before moving; lots of my online friends are gone completely and we havn't spoken in weeks - months even, and i dont talk to anyone i knew irl except for my boyfriend. its easy when you move so far away you never have to come in contact with those people - unless your unlucky enough to still see them in the city centre when youre walking home from school or hanging out with your new friends and/or bf - some people try to keep in contact some dont care, or at least dont show that they care. but maybe it was good for me. i mean i did lots of things i regretted there, so many embarassing things related to me, i had so many enemies for no reason really? im not sure why i was so disliked; i know that my old friend group from 3 years ago still talk shit about me and make up lies but im curious how bad it is to have made so many people dislike me... the only closure i got was that one of the girls told me now ex-bestfriend that shes ''sorry for being rude''. rude? rude. seriously. thats it. you think you were rude. but thats a story for a different time. in a way i do miss my best friends but i also dont know how to feel. i never felt comfortable around them to be myself, i always felt like an outcast even though we were supposed to be a group. the biggest difference between us was our ethnicities, they were bulgarians and i was polish. there wasnt many polish kids at my old school. i mean there were the twins who were very weird and apparently groped another student AT SCHOOL?... definately not. there was ro**** who was the girl who said ''sorry for being rude'', mm nope. there was ga******* who started to hated me because of my relationship with my current bf, again definately not. je*****, ga******'s cousin and ro****'s friend, absouluetly not. theyr all weird and have a weird story connecting them to me but its too long to look back on today. at least at my new school there tons of polish kids who im friends with and i finally feel welcomed. even tho i tend to be quiet because ive only known them a few weeks they dont exclude me like my old friends; they do quite the opposite actually and it feels nice. the only down side is they all known and are possibly friends with ga****** because she sort of goes to our school sort of doesnt? again her story will be another entry. and also theyre friends with her best friend na***** who dispises me because of ga******'s weird issues. 😐 but im staying strong. ignoring them. not letting them affect me. thats what im gonna convince myself at least.

๋࣭⭑╰┈➤ its summer break now finally. 6 long weeks of term ugh 😮‍💨. i have so much spare time to do anything i want. yesterday i was really motivated to learn coding, but i dont think it will go anywhere, even the super simple stuff is complicated for me. i am NOT. a maths-y person. ive started to become more active on my blogs, hence why im writing this, a big dream of mine as a kid was to be a writer 🫠, this is nice and easy and stress free<3 ive been wanting to learn guitar now properly since starting music at school because its a big part of our final grade but also just to have something as a hobby. i dont think ive ever had a real hobby and it makes me a bit embarassed, like im super boring and dont do anything besides sit on my phone and play games and just fuck around on instagram being messy. photography is also something i wanna get into but a good quality camera is expensive (im aware i dont need expensive equipment for photography but you gotta admit it makes your work nicer), guitars are also expensive tho, doubt i will get one anytime soon considering our renovations, my mothers financial and mental problems and my sister not working too. hughhh, though i have been thinking of getting a summer job. 1) for money 2) my mum said if i do something over summer she will get me a cat 🐈 3) i wont feel like im wasting my days away being a bum like my boyfriend likes to call it>:( so when my mother is free ill bring it up to her, as well as starting pilates at home again. i first started back in the beginning of may and i was doing really good; i felt better, my body looked good, and i felt like i had a hobby. but by the end of school i completely stopped doing it because i was so drained physically and mentally. i mean imagine making up at 5am every day and only getting home 12 hours later, sometimes even as late as 19:00. i also have been feeling insecure in my body, as if im gonna gain weight and look just gross. even though my bf reassures me i look great and still look great even after not working out i just have a feeling in the back of my mind hes just saying that to make me happy, not because he means it. on a happier note, ive started watching more animes; death note specifically. 1) to make my boyfriend happy, he begs me to watch it like at least 5 times a week 2) i had the most random urge to start watching death note whilst having no prior interest and very little knowledge. so far im liking it tho, currently at episode 26, and if you havent guessed already my favourite character is misa;3 also getting back into snsd has been refreshing🪩

๋࣭⭑╰┈➤ im not sure when ill update this next, probably soon as i have a lot of time to do so, or whenever i get a random thought and have no where else to share it to🌝

🎧ྀི 사랑해 널 이 느낌 이대로, 그려왔던 헤매임의 끝

[tsintotwo]

(Part 5/ Bonus part of 4)

Aight. After the last post I totally had to check myself because I was under the impression that Junkhearts was the only movie of Tom’s I hadn’t yet seen, but apparently there was another one called Three Way Junction, AND I found another cameo (someone add these and Hello Apartment on Tom’s wiki, I can’t figure out a way to edit tables on there) (Edit: Took care of it.) A few wonderful people got in touch with this info, PLUS a bootleg link to watch the 1984 production Tom was in!! Just, THANK YOU folks, and you bet your ass I watched everything. Let me talk a bit about that before I move on to the links.

Junkhearts (2011)- War vet very kindly offers homeless girl shelter in his house, but her bad crowd (including her bf, played by Tom) comes along and invades his life. Tom is a Northern Irish boy in this (complete with the accent) and is the kind of dude who would walk into a situation and abuse everyone and everything. It blows my mind that this irl smol bean did so many disturbing/disturbed characters and did them SO well. He really makes the angel-faced-devil thing work. This movie is dark, and deals with heavy matters like PTSD and drugs. Be advised. Good movie tho.

Double Date (2017)- Do NOT ask me anything about this one, man, idk. Tom in a beard, hat, eyes rimmed in black liner, and with a fake rhinestone tear for 1:30 mins. I didn’t even hear what he said.

Three Way Junction (2018)- English architect (Tom) goes soul searching to Namibia, everyone he meets acts wiser than him, then he gets stranded in the desert. I will call this movie formulaic, but before that, let me acknowledge I was just getting comfortable, then it stepped on my throat and left me agonizingly invested for a good amount of time. The desert-stranded scenes, Tom almost dying from thirst and hunger, body switching off, face peeling from the sun, hallucinating, all alone… it was hard to watch, y’all (in a good way, I suppose). Tom gives it his all and it pays off, because by the end I wanted to scream along with him. The very end is, again, formulaic.

1984 on Broadway (2017)- Winston in the book: I am a 39 y/o gray dude,  oppressed and depressed, listen to my musings and experience about politics

Me: Of course! I am intellectually stimulated!

Tom’s Winston: *spits aggressively*

Me: Fu** me, daddy

Trust Tom fuckin Sturridge to make Winston Smith SEXY I AM SO UPSET (AND HORNY) *deep breath* okay. Olivia Wilde broke Tom’s nose acting this, he broke her tailbone. People fainted, threw up, and left the theatre. Need I say more about how intense this production was? And I abfuckingsolutely loved it, oh my GOD. This was a brilliant adaptation of the classic George Orwell novel imo, the changes they made were very clever. Tom is the MC, and in the beginning, he is confused and is just reacting to things rather than acting. But he gets more and more into it and then comes the last act- graphic torture scene of him that they recreated from the book. I understand why people left the room, y’all. I mean, I KNEW what would happen and by the end even I was like ‘fuck me, fuck y’all, fuck this, what the fuck’, and I could PAUSE. But this is how 1984 should be, imo. I’m not saying this just because I’m a simp for Tom: the work he’s done for this is extraordinary. It takes a special kind of actor to even attempt something like it.

[Edit: I've discovered Tom also appeared in Brothers of the Head (2005), a mockumentary-movie about conjoined twins who became rockstars. Tom might be in it for just the ten seconds around 55:00 that I could find him in.]

Now that’s all done, let’s move on to the links. I know most people may have seen most of these, but still may be of help to a few? And I’m making this for my reference as much as for anyone else anyway, so.

Interviews/Being Filmed:

1. We all know there have been sooo many interviews from the Sandman junket. Some of my favorite moments:

a. Tom talking about his experience in the glass cage here (4:15), here (2:00) and here (4:12)

b. Tom shows us (11:34) his button brickphone. An aside: I think he at least had a smartphone at one point- you can see him tapping one here (:10) and he mentioned in the giggly Sea Wall interview that he browsed Wiki on his way there, so… anyway, point is tho, it’s none of our fuckin business

c. Vivienne praises Tom so much that he clenches his fists and is out of breath. Aside: When people he’s less familiar with drop praises, he has no reaction. Like, not even awkwardness, zero reaction except a half smile, e.g. here (4:43), here (4:04) and here (10:11). I just think it’s a funny shy boi thing XD

d. Totally RANDOM, but I love his eyeroll (9:00)

e. Unexpectedly deep and amazing answer to what nightmare Tom would give other people (plus everything else tbh)

f. Tom insisting that eating only within 4 out of 24 hrs and exercising for 5 hrs each day for 3 months was ‘easy’ compared to actually playing Morpheus. This man is insane.

g. Tom stole the sand pouch and is so shifty about it lmao

h. I said this before: Tom and Morpheus are still totally separate in my mind, so seeing this BTS when he’s dressed as Morpheus but speaks as Tom is a reality-shifting experience for me every time. Also, in natural light the subtle eye makeup is really popping. God, this man would KILL it with smokey eyes!

2. I love animated talkers who are also articulate, they tend to be the best storytellers. Tom being just that in these Orphans (5:12) and Sea Wall (37:26) interviews (I recommend watching Tom in both in full, tbh)

3. Linking this Orphans interview because a. His eloquence and wisdom shine through and b. He’s looking sort of devastatingly pretty

4. Tom can play the piano!

5. Never seen a Brit giggle so much (I know I already gif-ed this but you gotta hear the SOUNDS)

6. Englishman struggles to speak English for half a minute straight

7. Tom’s workout vid for Sandman. Not to ogle, to appreciate the unholy amount of effort. You can also see the inconspicuous S tattoo on his back (for his ex, I guess). This man is wearing a hat in the gym... hair too long?

8. Far from the Madding Crowd interview because I need y’all to see this look

9. I like this 1984 interview ‘cause it’s interesting, been edited in a creepy way matching the content they’re talking about +Tom talks about not using a smartphone

10. Adding this to show how much Tom has grown, as we all grow. The ‘romantic’ experience he describes here, while startlingly honest, I can’t see him talking about now. He was a bit rough around the edges, a little awkward with his presence. I find that endearing and relatable, honestly, ‘cause I am VERY different in the way I present myself, speak, communicate now from a few yrs ago. It’s a process.

Fanvids:

Some of my faves here: 

1.      Best Sandman/Morpheus tributes 1, 2, 3, 4. Angsty king Morpheus. Cool Morpheus. 

2.      AMAZING Morpheus x Jessamy 1, 2 and 3

3.      Morpheus x Johanna 1 and 2

4.      Morpheus x Calliope 1, 2 and 3

5.      Me: I ain’t no Twilight fan and watched TVD only for Damon, vampires can suck it away form me. Also me: Watches this 50 times in a row. Edward x Morpheus

6.      Bruce Wayne x Morpheus

7.      WTF is going on and why do I love it: AU/Crossovers/Fancasts with Morpheus- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

8.      Will x Emma, Waiting for Forever

9.      Best Jake x Tess, Sweetbitter, 1 , 2 , 3, 4

10.      Best Alex x Nigel, Like Minds, 1 and 2

11.      Effie Gray x John Everett Millais, 1 and 2

12. + Tom in Remainder 

13. Carlo Marx, Carl (3 Way Junction), King Henry VI, Danny (Junkhearts)

Voice Work:

1.      Sea Wall audio

2.      Someone isolated Tom’s voice from the music in the Netflix podcast

3.      Tom reading two letters. This one by Henry James is emotional and I expected his passionate reading, but this one by Mark Twain- Tom was HILARIOUS! Please make him do more comedy.

4. Tom reading Wordsworth’s ‘A Complaint’

5. Tom as Morpheus- playlist of his dialogues isolated for each episode 

Miscellaneous:

1.      1984 bootleg (480p)

2.      Context: Someone made a t-shirt with Tom’s head on the boobs and wore it, which RPatz saw and mentioned in an interview. The whole thing is bonkers. Maybe I was having a slow day but I laughed for a solid minute at this lmao (but I’m a whole adult-adult writing 1500+ words posts about Tom, so maybe I should shut my mouth).

3.   (Later addition): Masterlist of fics I wrote. The Sandman/Morpheus and Sweetbitter/Jake.

I might be adding more if I remember new things, but this is it for now. I actually enjoyed writing these posts. It’s been real, folks.

[strikerangel]

Aughhb egg dnd.

Juanaflippa is the dungeon master who does shit just to piss off her players. Yeah theres no shortcut, if you huys try you get stung by a bunch of bees and take 2 poison damage. Yeah.. it says for an hour. Too bad. Go the long route. This howver doesnt mean that her players dont piss her off too. Which brings us too!!

Tilin! She plays as a Aasimar cleric who fucking loves to ask questions . "Hey flippa if im like. Born to serve the gods and am reveried . Can i worship myself for the cleric role" "kill yourself, die. Slash lighthearted joking No you cant" <- flippa is deadpan

Strength - 7

Dexterity - 11

Constitution - 12

Wisdom - 15

Intelligence - 11

Charisma - 19

Chayanne plays as a dragonborn barbarian who is. Very boasty. Hes arrogant but for a reason <- has the highest strength stat 4 a reason. Anywas chayanne goes fight first and talk later and that directly conflicts with tilin who attempts to talk first. They have a very friendly rivalry with their initiative rolls.

Strength - 18

Dexterity - 15

Constitution - 16

Wisdom - 13

Intelligence - 12

Charisma - 14

Tallulah is a water genasi druid, she decided thaf being a bard irl was enough. Chayanne is willing to back her up in any decision she makes so tilin attempts to get her on her side . Sibling rivalry go strong. Her character has a shit ton of funny moments relatinf to water

Strength - 16

Dexterity - 15

Constitution - 18

Wisdom - 14

Intelligence - 12

Charisma - 13

Bobby is a changeling rouge who is shifted to an owlins form. Hes like a packrat. So much shit in his inventory . Bobby brings his gun to a session once and flippa makes it canon that it has one. Guess how that goes with a trigger happy rouge. Theres a reason flippa told him to start with a dagger.

Strength - 12

Dexterity - 9

Constitution - 16

Wisdom - 13

Intelligence - 17

Charisma - 17

Richarlyson is a triton bard and their weapon is a guitar with a really fucking sharp spike on the end. They are very liable to stab through enemies with it and it just gets sharper as they bloody it. Theyre also flippas favorite player as she claims them as her little sibling. Hers now! Little sibling advantage roll.

Strength - 16

Dexterity - 18

Constitution - 18

Wisdom - 12

Intelligence - 14

Charisma - 14

Ramón is a warforged monk, he and dapper are fuckin twining . Warforgeds made by the same person. Despite being made of metal this fucker is so fucking agile. Ramon is very into dnd and brings everyone little figurines of their characters that move when flippa or their owners tell them to.

Strength - 13

Dexterity - 17

Constitution - 13

Wisdom - 12

Intelligence - 11

Charisma - 11

Leonarda is a triton paladin, he brings food for everyone and gives everyone little trinkets theyd enjoy after the session , flippa says she doesnt have to do it but she enjoys watching their faces light up as she gives it to them.

Strength - 16

Dexterity - 14

Constitution - 14

Wisdom - 10

Intelligence - 12

Charisma - 9

Dapper is a warforged artificer, he and ramon are twinning, however hes not gonna let ramon up him with the figurines. He makes everyone character sheet books that change at will . This does happen because of the ritual he did with the books and maybe some sheep blood.

Strength - 15

Dexterity - 14

Constitution - 15

Wisdom - 10

Intelligence - 13

Charisma - 8

Trump is an elf ranager who is quite literally the best to play with. The campaign would go literally nowhere with him (<- he consistently rolls high on perception and insight checks and is like. The only one who does.) Rlly fucking lucky btw. Nat 20s all across the board. Flippa hates this guy

Strength - 14

Dexterity - 16

Constitution - 12

Wisdom - 14

Intelligence - 15

Charisma - 10

[paodocinh]

Can you draw more plus-sized Summer Rose? Do you have other body diversity headcanons in RWBY, such as Qrow with a beer belly?

Hellooo lovely anon!

god, when i saw this ask i went absolutely ballistic. No words can explain just how much I adore my hcs of Summer Rose, she's my favorite RWBY character because the little details i added to her character as hcs just kind of made it for me, even if she has next to no screentime in the main series.

Personally, in my aus, i have tweaked and changed a LOT of the main cast so it'd have more representation. I couldn't draw all of them sadly, but here goes the little list:

Body diversity HCS ->

1. Blake Belladona is poc! This is the more obvious one but I decided to make her a dark-skinned woman as a general hcs in everything I do. You could also go further and say that her hair texture is different, and that she just straightens it.

2. Yang Xiao Long has a muscular build! (No shit sherlock) but yeah, she's buff! Give the girl her muscles! I also made her anatomy a little bit less off and she probably has a little belly too, because I can't really accept that she's so thin while her breasts are completely disproportionate to her body. She's also tanned!

3. This isn't exactly my HCS, because I haven't specifically added them to any AU, but I really like @peixedobar's take that Weiss Schnee has albinism.

4. Ruby Rose is also a bit stronger physically! She isn't as buff as Yang or Raven, because these two are absolute units, but she also isn't as thin as she is in cannon.

This is also more prominent for my Zombie!AU because Ruby lends Crescent Rose to Oscar for a good part of the plot, and after that she just... fucking punches everyone to oblivion. (I know it's a bit OOC but in-universe it makes sense)

5. Lie Ren is blasian! I don't really know where I got this from, but while thinking to myself about what I could do to make my Zombie Au more inclusive, the thought just crossed my mind. His hair is also textured, he has braids.

6. Raven Branwen is fucking jacked. Seriously she's probably the most well-built character I can think of in my AUs. She isn't like a massive war tank(or similar to League of Legends Illaoi for example) but she is very in-shape and has very well-defined muscles along with a body adorned by scars. Aside from that, she's also part asian, part... Brazillian? More elaboration on that on Qrow's part lmfao.

7. Qrow Brawen with a fucking beer belly LETS GOOOOOOOO!!

Anon, when you suggested that, i went insane. It had never crossed my mind, because I often drew Qrow with a very muscular build, mostly out of anatomy studies — But gosh, I adored this hc in so many ways i'll probably add it EVERYWHERE. QROW WITH A BEER BELLY SHALL BE MY MARK ON THIS PLANET.

Aside from that, I also made his face more detailed. Usually it was difficult for me to draw him because he lacked a lot of facial details that often make irl people more unique, and I believe that's due to RWBY's artstyle. On mines, however, he has beauty marks below his right eyebrow and one above the right side of his lips. Scars all over, too.

He has a Japanese descent(Assuming that The Branwen Tribe is from Anima + Raven's choice of wear cannonically) and asiatic features on his eyes, but him and Raven also have heavy latin-american characteristics. They're Brazillian in my aus, mostly out of a inside joke(I too am Brazillian) and the fact that Qrow gives me a lot of latino vibes(Contrary to popular fandom belief, his hips do not lie !!!!), but after a while I started noticing that It actually wouldn't be too far-fetched to believe this, because if you look back at the history and relationship between Brazil and Japan, you'd find that these two countries actually have a LOT of story together!

Brazil homes a bunch of different cultures and ethnicities in it's lands, it's a country with a lot of diversity so in my opinion it wouldn't be too otherworldly to make The Branwen Twins brazillian in my aus :p

That's it for body hcs! I'll probably have more in the near future, but for now these are the ones I can remember.

Other diversity Hcs ->

1. Autistic Penny, Ruby, Summer Rose(this wasn't on purpose, it just happened as I was writting her LMFAO), Neopolitan

2. Transfem Nora, He/They Lie Ren

3. ADHD Jaune, Qrow Branwen

4. This is specific to a AU I have, it isn't present in my other works, but in La Vie En Rose(Royal Au) Neopolitan eventually has a leg injury during a major plotpoint that leaves her disabled, so her Parasol is also used as a cane of sorts since she can't be as agile and flexible anymore. She's still slaying though, always.

5. Summer Rose is blind of one eye!

I'm quite sure I forgot a few, and with time I'll update you on everything, but for now these are the ones! Thanks for asking, Anon!

And just as you asked for~ A lovely Summer Rose on a Beach day for ya!

[eneablack]

What's your opinion on shifting to one DR and being, for example, a sibling of a person and in another DR being a partner of the same person?

For example, myself, I wanted to shift to one DR where I am James' sister, but I also have another DR where we aren't related so there's a possibility we could date. Is that weird? I saw people say it is, but these are different DRs, I am not related to James in the DR where we can date

I meannn. Let’s put it this way: do you have a sibling in this reality? If yes, would you date them in another reality just because it’s another universe? I know it’s a different “place” but it’s weird imo. For example, I initially had a dr where Sirius was my boyfriend, but I never shifted there so I never experienced his love that way. Then some time passed and I created another dr where Sirius was instead my twin brother, and I actually shifted there, so it feels so weird thinking that I scripted he was my bf in my first dr, it actually disgusts me lmaoo even tho I never went there. I know it feels different when it’s fictional characters here, but when you know them irl you build a relationship with them and that will influence things. It’s like dating your dad 😭 i don’t want that.

This is my opinion, but it’s your choice.

[merakiui]

i had a hard time trying to figure out which housewarden to put you with tbh (ended up going with azul because personality and ,, octo mer and the consequent mafia eels ( ´∀`)♡), but i also wanted to vote for malleus!

i think y'all'd really hit it off, especially with wordplay, because from my understanding [at least in the irl myths], the fae tend to have a lot of wordplay, hidden meanings, etc. because they can't lie! (i think this is seen a bit in twst too, with him being loath to tell yuu his name, and the way lilia just .. talks? the vibe is there) so i think he'd really enjoy seeing your written work, especially with how many hidden details there are inside!

also personality-wise! i think your enthusiasm for things would be endearing to him too. idk i think your vibes would fit very well together!

Aaaa this is true! If I am with Azul, I will have access to two luxury eel handbags. (˘ω˘)* ☆ﾟit would be a very fun flex to go to a social event with handsome (and scary) mafia eels as arm candy. But that is as much of a blessing as it is a curse. T_T suddenly it will become: if you want to go anywhere on your own, take the twins with you. And now they are always with me when Azul can't be there. orz they stick to you like leeches (hehe).

I can definitely see myself with Malleus! I think he would enjoy sharing his interests with me, as would I, because we would both listen to the other and appreciate the others' hobbies (and be willing to learn more if it's something we aren't entirely familiar with). :D and I will ensure he will never feel lonely or left out! I will invite him to every outing, even if it is to go grocery shopping. I feel like Malleus might just magic groceries into existence out of instinct, but I will show him the joys and occasional stresses of shopping instead of just relying on magic. We will call grocery shopping "sustenance gathering" just for the fun of it hehe.

[thicc-ray-of-sunshine]

Just a blurb about growing up watching Gravity Falls and being a twin irl-

It was really weird watching it as a kid I am a twin and my brother and I quite literally were Dipper and Mabel. I was the bright and colorful pretty princess who loved crafts and glitter glue and my brother was super into reading about Greek mythology and astrology. Like it was so beyond jarring seeing us literally portrayed on screen. it also hurt A LOT because that was so us when we were small and we got along great when we were tiny but I grew up really resentful as a kid. It was just us and my Mom and don't get me wrong she's an amazing Mother but she spent a great deal more time doing stuff with my brother as a kid and I really hated it. I tore down all of my likes and girly-ness in favor of being a tomboy so I could be more a part of my brothers boyscout troop where my mother was a den leader. I forced myself to hate myself out of the idea that my Mom liked my brother more than me. Which was never true So I grew up sort of hating my brother for stuff that no one really had any control over.

So seeing this perfect little idealized version of me and my brother and what we should have been as kids really fucked me up. And then to see the parallels between Stanley and Stanford's relationship as twins fucked me up even harder because why couldn't I just be Mabel? Why was I Stanley at the ripe age of 12?

As an adult my relationship with my Mom and my twin brother is a lot better and we've talked about everything and how it affected our dynamic as a family. But it still just rips my heart out seeing the childhood I should have had and deserved to have.

[jimin-my-sunshine]

Hi! How is it possible to know that Jimin/JK are your twin flames without meeting them irl or knowing them personally? Because it sounds like twin flames are very deep connections and my brain can’t comprehend how that works. I don’t know if my question makes a lot of sense because I am pretty clueless about this stuff and am trying to educate myself to understand better. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question!

Well, thinking about it logically, is where you're going wrong- because none of this makes any sense whatsoever lol

Not when you look at it from a logical perspective.

You need to try and have an open mind and trust what you are feeling, when you feel it.

This is something I didn't really struggle with- despite the hardcore conditioning I got from the religion I grew up in.

(Have you read my other 'ask' that I responded to? Not too sure who you are, sorry- but here's the link just in case.)

I'm surprised looking back, because it seems like I trusted my intuition from the very beginning somehow.

Like I mention in the 'ask' in that link- I always knew from the time I was about six years old- that I would meet someone just like me and we would always be together no matter that.

They would be my best friend and we would always love each other and be there for each other (unconditionally of course, because a child isn't going to be thinking about romance lol).

I never really understood why I felt such a thing, but it was very real to me and it was just a really strong intuitive message.

Twin flames are incredibly deep and the connections can affect you mentally, physically, emotionally and yes, spiritually.

Please don't confuse spirituality with religion though, because both are very different- everyone is entitled to their own beliefs though.

Being open to the things that spirituality can offer you personally in your own way- helps to heighten your intuition and make it stronger.

Intuition is something everyone is born with, regardless of gender- but not everyone is open to listening to it.

If you can't wrap your head around spirituality for whatever reason, you can also just choose to listen to what your heart is telling you.

These are all very interwoven and connected together as one.

Your heart will never lead you down a path that is not for you and it will help you to find out who you truly are.

It may seem like such a cliche thing to say, but I'm not speaking as someone who has no experience with the words I speak- which is something a lot of people tend to do. I don't speak on anything, unless I can back it up with personal experiences of my own and since I have been listening to my own intuition/heart for the past several years now- it has helped me in many aspects of my life.

I wouldn't have this blog right now if I had chosen not to listen to it, because everything I have went through that I talk about in that 'ask' up above there- has eventually led me here. Since I chose to no longer hide in the shadows, despite how terrifying I know that kpoppers can be.

I used to be a very weak minded, closed minded and very naive person and I hardly recognize myself a lot of times, because I am very different than the person I used to be. I was afraid of literally everything and would never take chances or risks, but I have come a long way.

Thanks to the growth that I opened my mind to and that's the only way to do things when it comes to life. Even if things scare you, do them anyhow- because that one thing that scares you, could be the one thing that changes your entire life :)

It took me a few months to properly come to grips with Jungkook being my twin as you know, if you've read my 'ask' up above there and it's not only due to the conditioned beliefs from the religion.

It was also because I never 'heard' him when I was little. I figured that since I never 'heard' him like I did Jimin, that there had to be some kind of mistake.

As soon as I saw Jimin, I felt something shift inside of me and honestly I knew there was something up from the very beginning, because I wasn't into boys who were real. I was heavily into anime at the time and very obsessed with Asia- since I had been introduced to the community thanks to my grandma knowing several Asian women. I was learning everything I possibly could about the continent and all of it fascinated me.

I was learning Japanese and Mandarin, but I couldn't quite pick up Korean ~

I loved anime so much, because it was a part of Asia and I just liked to get away from my own life- because things were terrible for me in high school and even though I had been past it by 2016- everything from my past kept resurfacing and I was heavy in denial.

I kept running around in circles and that's when things started to get pretty dark for me. I was starting to get sxxcidal and I had tried many different things regretfully so. I had also recently lost a couple of close friends to it myself, so I could understand things from both perspectives. Someone who has suffered from the thoughts of harming oneself, and also the perspective of losing someone to it.

I didn't think this 'make believe' person was even real and I started questioning my entire life and basically how shitty it had been. Maybe I had imagined the whole thing and it was just something I wanted to believe. It wouldn't have surprised me, since when you go through trauma, you do things in order to cope with it.

No later then a month after all of these things take place- I started to hear about BTS again.

I'm not going to lie- I couldn't stand them, but it was their popularity I couldn't stand. The fact that other people seemed to forget the existence of other really amazing groups and they were choosing to make everything about BTS instead.

I wanted to see what the big deal about them was, so I looked up 'Save me' and 'I need u'.

I saw the music videos and Jimin stood out to me automatically, which was strange to me- because like I've said- I have never been interested in real guys. This is due to my trauma that I went through as a child.

Something about him seemed remarkably familiar, but it's one of those things where you feel like you know someone and yet you don't know how or why. If that makes sense?

I thought I was going crazy, because there's no way I could know this person, since never even met and I'm fairly certain I would have remembered any kind of contact with them.

It kept bugging me and I started to watch more BTS content, just so I could catch a glimpse of him- to try and figure it out.

It was all I could think about- and I know how that might sound, but it really bothered me how for the first time in my life, an actual real- living and breathing human stood out to me.

It wasn't that I didn't have friends, or people to be around- I just wasn't interested in mingling, due to my trauma as a child that never really got properly treated. I was very secluded, but I enjoyed my solitude and I preferred it.

It was like, "How dare this person show up out of literally nowhere and disturb my peace I've had for so long?" I was so mad and upset- but also fascinated, because I was actually interested in another person. I was beginning to feel emotions I never thought I would again, because the trauma left me feeling disconnected and I would lose myself to dissociation quite frequently.

I was numb after the way I had been treated back then as a child and it never went away as I grew up.

This person not only shows up out of nowhere, throwing me into a frenzy over my peace that has been disturbed- but he's ALSO bringing up emotions that have been suppressed for years.

I dealt with that for the better part of two years, even after finding out the proper term for what I had been going through since I was a child (twin flames).

I never had any of this with Jungkook and I guess that's what made me rethink the whole thing where I could have had a second twin.

It took me a long time to be able to come to terms with Jungkook as my other twin, but I don't know why I never thought of this to begin with. It shows how I was getting all caught up in my mind and the logical aspects.

Once I began watching videos of him, it all made sense to me, because I could see the similarities between him and I. Our appetites, the things we eat, the things we talk about, how we represent them- even something so simple as the clothes we wear and what kind of clothes we choose.

If I would have done something so simple- as just giving myself the freedom of actually LEARNING about him- through watching candid videos (Run BTS at the time), I could have saved myself so much denial and regret.

That's the thing with logic though, you get so caught up in your mind, that common sense will miss you if you're not careful.

Watching their show- it's only confirmed several more things for me and it's really incredible- looking at them and seeing how much of me exists in each of them.

It used to scare the hell out of me, and I even used to think I was losing my mind. That I wanted to lock myself up in a hospital ward or something and get diagnosed with some illness I don't even have.

It's not for the faint of heart, as you can probably tell at this point and it's very heightened. Your emotions are all over the place in the beginning and you really do feel like you're losing your mind, because it makes you question everything.

Everything that has been shoved into your mind as a young child and the things that everyone spoke to you about that have made you into the person you are now.

It will shake your world up and then spit it out, only to repeat the entire process over and over again, until you have the growth that you need to become that better version of yourself.

It's a terrifying journey, but definitely very prosperous and fulfilling once you get past all of the hell it puts you through.

Most nights I would lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep, because it felt very lonely, since I couldn't tell anyone about what was going on and I only sounded 'unstable' to those who I tried to confide in.

The spiritual community for twin flames was very undependable, because they disregarded me completely when I told them I thought I may have two other halves and they outright told me I was wrong.

When in reality, they were the ones that were wrong.

Trying to speak on my journey, like they had ever walked even a day in my shoes.

The arrogance is what surprised me the most, because these people claimed to be so 'spiritual', but that's not real spirituality. Real spirituality is where people accept it- when someone has different beliefs than they do. It's allowed, because everyone is right in their beliefs.

No one is wrong, because we are all on different journey's and no one has any right to try and tell you otherwise.

I've known people with one twin, four twins and even came across someone so advanced that they told me they know of seven other halves. That was the silver lining I needed to tell me that I needed to go my own way and I did- despite how alone and scary it was- I wanted to just lay down and die from it even- but the little voice in my mind would always speak up and tell me that if I gave up, I would never meet that 'other me'.

It was very painful in every possible way and I even felt a lot of physical pain from it- growing pains if you will, but considering the life I had lived before, pain didn't bother me and it was merely a part of who I was.

When I first saw Jimin though, it felt like I was coming home some how. Like I had found what I had been looking for all this time. That's how I knew who he was, because not only did my eyes recognize him, but so did my heart and I burst into tears when I first came to realize what that meant.

He was the one that I had been waiting on this entire time and I was so incredibly overcome with emotion, that it was something I just KNEW. I couldn't explain it in words, but I felt it- fuck...did I ever feel it. It was like lightening shot through my entire body and it left me feeling weak. So much so, that I slept for at least a good 24 hours afterwards...

It was really strong and definitely something you would need to experience in order to understand.

I still remember everything so clearly, like it only just happened yesterday and I used to regret some parts of my journey, but they were all necessary to bring me right here in this moment of time.

Jimin has always been my beacon of light and eventually so did Jungkook, but in a different kind of way ~

I have had several years of going through growth with Jimin, but I'm still going through it with Jungkook and there's more resistance with him- which only makes the journey more frustrating, but I'm still learning and honestly I hope I never stop learning and growing with them :)

[seumyo]

hi! try this :) https://pin.it/13pr3efSy https://pin.it/135PXK007

THIS LOOKS SO FUN WHAT 😼 ofc I’ll try it out (there’s a lot of yapping under the cut WHAHHEJW)

HAIKYUU!! VER. + MHA VER. (for those who want to try !)

The Haikyuu!! one I can definitely see, mwahaha 🙂‍↕️

My glorious underrated loml Aran as my classmate, he would not be too thrilled to have me as a classmate/seatmate for the sole reason that I talk a lot whenever I’m comfortable with the person I’m talking to (I speak too quickly irl HELPP). That or I’m just silently next to him (I have a bad case of scary resting face which makes me look unapproachable and crabbed) 😭 BUT I’M A SMART AND NICE COOKIE SO ARAN PLS DON’T BE SCARED TO APPROACH ME 🤧

HECK YES 🔥🔥 KIYOKO AS MY MENTOR 🥳 she will guide me through the basics of manager duties while I ask her about track and field (I’m unathletic as heck and embarrassed myself twice when I tried to play volleyball—I made the team though in elementary as a middle blocker 🔥🔥 but not in high school tho bcs that was a dark and tough time 😔)

Ushijima WAKATOSHI?? USHIWAKA?? give him a smooch as I step on a stepping stool 😚 He would strain his neck just to look at me whenever I talk to him and that’s just romantic 🥰🫵 pure love idk about y’all. I had a classmate in high school who was 6 flat (182.88cm) AND BOY HE WAS TALL 😮 I can’t be seen standing next to Ushiwaka because that man would get scoliosis if he was in a relationship w/ me (the only way to salvage this relationship is to just hug each other and no eye contact/kissing to save both of our skeletal systems)

RIVAL?? KAORI?? nah, that’s my bff 😋

Suna as my bff is surprising 🫣 ig we share a lot in common (probably both have mild scoliosis) I WILL BE THE RECEIVER OF HIS RANT ABT THE MIYA TWINS’ ANTICS as i cry over the hardships of being a third-year (I’m getting high school flashbacks as an incoming freshman) 😼

This confirms it. I am the middle child of the Haiba family. But the height makes other ppl question it (I’m def adopted 😨) I’M ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING 😭😭 I just match their energies well <33

Inarizaki as my school 😝 I am definitely on a scholarship bcs in no way am I able to afford that school for three years of high school🙂‍↕️ (I’m cooked cause I barely pass scholarship exams)

And Osamu as my childhood friend just ties this all together 😋

The MHA one.. now buckle up

My queen sugarplum honeybunch darling lovey dovey Momo 🙇 I love her sm. She could run me over with one of her expensive cars and I would wipe and polish the car

Bakugou and Kirishima as my bffs... I’m running 😭 jk I love them with all of my heart BAKUGOU WOULD NOT STAND MY SLOWNESS “what do you mean you forgot the formula when we’re calculating for time? we learned about this yesterday, dipshit!” isn’t he fun 🥰 my constant “huh?” would have me blown up to another dimension <33 Now Kiri, Kiri is another story. I love this man, this man and his personality. So we just get along and make manly friendship bracelets 🔥

Cementoss as my teacher.. I WOULD BE HIS FAV STUDENT NGL I love Modern Lit. My strongest subject, the light in the dark times (cough cough physics) YESSIR

RIVAL?? TODOROKI?? i can see it 🧐🧐 season 1 todoroki was cold af tho 🥶 i would cry internally if he ever rolls his eyes at me 😔 darn nepo babies 😓😓 JK I think we’d get along in the later seasons, but the rivalry would probably be academic (my self-insert quirk is just.. not built to go toe-to-toe with his ☹️)

Navel Laser.. chat my brother and I are cooked. Aoyama as my brother 10/10 but getting tummy aches after we use our Quirks + the same time as period cramps?? put me on the dnr list and never ressurect me ever again -10000/10

Sato and I just sitting next to each other like 👁️👁️

Mineta as my childhood friend—how about NO 😁

me when this silly little activity turned into an unofficial alternate version of my self-insert lore: