#not because i don't like him (i love him so much ok)

[bluesidez]

Gym Rat Miguel Part 16

content warning: angst, recreational drug use, mentions of food, 18+ so MDNI (not spoiling the positions this time, so you���ll just have to read and see)

word count: 8.2k (thank ya once again @slushycoookie 😚)

If you really love Xina as a character, then don't read this. Nothing crazy happens, it's just so far removed from her original character action-wise that you’ll definitely get angry. That's all. 🥸👍🏾

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GymRat!Miguel who should have taken the edible.

He held his head down, everything over the past years starting to click.

The touches, the stares, the treatment. Xina wasn’t just close to him because they were friends.

She was in love with him and he was too dumb to see it, too naïve to even think it was a possibility.

He takes a deep breath and looks down at his hands.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Xina speeds out. “Or maybe you can just let it sit with you.”

“Ok.”

Xina widens her eyes, “O-ok? What do you mean ok? Ok as in you…you like me back?”

“Ok as in I hear you. I understand.”

Xina nods, hand holding her elbow.

“And I’m sorry that so much happened to you. I wish you would have reached out. It sounds traumatizing and no one should have to go through that on their own.”

Xina waits, heart beating out of her chest.

“But?”

“But, it doesn’t excuse anything you’ve done to me. Not a single fucking thing.”

She opens her mouth, eyes burning and eyebrow pinched, “I-“

“-need to let me talk first,” Miguel finishes. “You know how much you mean to me, so you have to understand that what you did was so low, Xina. It hurt, genuinely.”

“I know.”

“You know and yet you continued. It’s funny because after you were being weird to my girlfriend the first time you met her, I still defended you. That’s how much I had faith in our friendship.”

Xina blinks rapidly, pulling her hair back.

“Now, I feel even more stupid because this,” Miguel pushes his hand in and out between himself and Xina, “looks exactly how she thought it was. But that’s what you wanted, right? You wanted her to feel like you were someone to look out for.”

Her lip wobbles, “For just a second, I was relieved. I was so relieved that someone finally fucking beat me to you. But then I saw how you looked at her and I, I felt something boil over.”

Miguel wanted to laugh in disbelief.

“Xina, that doesn’t make it ok for you to go in my phone, plot and scheme, then lie like you didn’t. When has that ever been right?”

“Miguel, I know that so please-“

“You don’t love me.”

Xina falters, a tear falling down her face. A light from a car outside brightens the room for just a second, and she sees Miguel give an unfamiliar look of disdain.

“Yes, I do. I do love you. How could you say that I don’t?”

“Because you really don’t,” Miguel pushed his hair off of his face, only for it to fall back in place. “Love isn’t seeing me happy and trying your best to ruin it. Love is not control. If this is what you do to me, I would hate to see what you’re willing to do to someone who wants to be yours.”

She squats, hands wiping away the sorrow on her face.

In the past, Miguel would have been at her side arms open for comfort, heart hurting to see her like this. Right now, he just wants to plead at your waist for forgiveness.

“I don’t really want to look at you right now. I think you should go.”

He starts to get up, tired.

“M-Miguel? I, I’m sorry.”

“Me too. About a lot of shit I need to fix. You have more than just me to own up to and whenever you’re ready to do that, let me know. Right now though? You can see your way out.”

“Miguel, just,” she grabs his arm. “If I- Do you-“ her quiet sobs rack through her body. “I don’t want to lose you. Y-you don’t have to like me back.”

He turns and grabs her arms softly, eyes going back and forth between hers.

“Go home, Xina.”

GymRat!Miguel who opens the door to a flustered Gabriel and a nonchalant Tempest sitting on the floor.

“It’s not what it looks like-”

“It’s exactly what it looks like,” Tempest cuts Gabriel off. She looks past Miguel to a mourning Xina. “C’mon, girl, I’ll walk you to the door.”

Miguel steps aside as Xina shuffles over. He does his best to ignore the last tug she gives his hoodie before she leaves.

GymRat!Miguel who crosses his arms as he looks at Gabriel.

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough to put a smile upon my face,” Gabriel grins. “It’s like watching your dreams come into fruition. I feel like I have enough adrenaline to run to New York and back, you know?”

“No, I don’t know. This isn’t funny, Gabri.”

“Uh,” Gabriel peers left and right. “It’s a little funny. To me.”

Miguel reaches into his pocket and threw the gummy into his mouth. The taste was interesting, to say the least.

“This is a good thing,” Gabriel tries again. “It’s one step closer to what you wanted, right?”

Miguel thought about you from last week.

He didn’t want you to look at him like that again.

“It is. I just don’t know how I let it get this far.”

Gabriel squeezes his shoulder with a pout.

“Because you’re an idiot, to be frank.”

The squawk that Gabriel lets out when Miguel hits him on the back echoes through the hallway.

GymRat!Miguel who goes back to his room to see a knocked out Lyla and Winston with a plate piled high with wings and yams.

“Yo,” he whispers, but his voice is still unbearably loud. “I think she’s trying to steal my fucking food.”

Miguel looked to Lyla who was folded over a beanbag, neck bent awkwardly. Her mouth was open and a little wet, but she was snoring up a storm.

“No, she’s not,” Miguel laughs. His friend's eyes are blown wide, horrified, like he’s in the middle of a haunted house.

Winston observes Lyla before turning back to Miguel, slow like he was made of wires and metal, “Don’t say shit to me when you’re next.”

GymRat!Miguel who shouldn’t have turned on your playlist as his limbs got heavier.

He was going to try and write something down in his journal, thoughts from before too much for his head.

It started with what just happened down the hallway. Was he right or wrong for what he said and what he did? Should he have done more?

Was it enough for you to see the truth?

You. You and everything you brought him. Your being, your emotions, you core, your love.

Now, he’s staring at the page full of your name alone scrawled across it with slow blinking eyes.

It feels like your hands are all over him and you’re whispering in his ears. You’re going through his hair from his scalp to his neck. Your tongue is hot on his skin, in his mouth. You taste like cinnamon and whipped cream. You’re pressing your chest against his and your heartbeats are becoming one.

His heartbeat.

Your heartbeat.

It’s sinking him. His heart is on the marked paper before him. It’s in red and graphite, smudged and darkened.

He’s falling. The clothes on him are rubbing against his bones. The chair under him is slipping from his grasp but he thinks you’ll catch him.

GymRat!Miguel who gasps for air as his back hits the cold metal of his desk chair.

Winston’s cackle refocuses his train of thought and he breathes in deep as he tries not to let you drown his thoughts again.

GymRat!Miguel who joins Winston on the floor to finish off the variety bag of takis.

Lyla shifts to a better position and Winston clutches his purple bag for dear life. Miguel laughs until he cries.

GymRat!Miguel who ends up on Gabriel’s fluffy rug, rubbing his hands over the fur like it’s a cat. Winston is bopping his head in the corner, music making him worry less about whether or not he’s being watched.

“Why is he so soft? What did you put on him?” Miguel asks.

Gabriel snickers as he watches him, “My feet.”

Miguel makes a face like a disgruntled cat.

“That’s fucking weird. Why would you ever do that? Is that why he smells lie that?”

“No, that’s your breath.”

Miguel gasps and covers his mouth, blowing straight through his fingers. He waits for a minute, then sniffs the air.

“You’re such a liar. It smells like apples. You need to be nicer to your rug, Gabri.”

A snap from above makes Miguel pose at the very last second. He thinks he’s posing at least. His smile is big but his eyes are closing every time the camera clicks and his peace sign is hidden somewhere in the fuzz of the rug.

“Say ‘party gal!’” Gabriel sang.

“I’m not at a party, nor am I a girl, so…no?” Miguel says with squinted eyes. “Why are you taking pictures of me?”

“Because you’re just so adorable that I have to share with your girlfriend.”

Miguel stops rubbing the rug and sits up, “Is she here? Where is she?”

Gabriel pushes him away with his foot.

“Chill out, Mig. I’m just sending her a video.”

“But,” Miguel stiffens. “It’s too dark in here. How is she supposed to see me?”

Gabriel looks at the several ambient lights his room is sporting then back to Miguel, “She can see it.”

“Was my shirt off in it? She likes it when my shirt is off.”

“I’m not filming your striptease, you hornball.”

“But Gabri-“

“No!”

GymRat!Miguel who snowballs his way through telling Gabriel his plans for when he visits New York for the next twenty minutes.

“And then,” he pauses and giggles like he’s holding the world’s greatest secret. “We go to the bodega. Ham and cheese. Orange drink. You know the one.”

Gabriel joins in his endless bubble of laughter, “Who taught you that?”

Miguel spaces out his giggles just enough to let your name fall through.

“Do you think she still loves me, Gabri? Because sometimes I get scared that she doesn’t.”

His brother sighed, head upside down as it hung off of his bed, “Yeah, I think so. It’s your first big fight, but what is love if not war?”

There’s a silence in the room.

Winston is giving a silent performance in the corner of the room now, his audience being Gabriel’s closet door of scarves and belts.

“War is what keeps humans apart,” Miguel mumbles.

“Uh oh,” Gabriel turns to look at him. “Don’t start this.”

“Statistically speaking, all first marriages have a 50% chance of surviving.”

“You just made that up.”

“No,” Miguel closes his eyes, hoping that would stop his million and one thoughts. “She could find another guy and last longer with him. It’s science. Proven.”

“You’re not even married.”

Miguel opens one eye and checks his empty left hand, “Holy shit you’re right.”

He starts to pat down his clothes, cotton pulling against his fingers.

“Where did it go? I just had it.”

Gabriel thought for a second.

“The Funyuns you just ate?”

Miguel starts to flip things over, papers and chip bags going everywhere.

He finds the bright yellow bag, opening it up and finding nothing. He turns it over and shakes it much to Gabriel’s annoyance who snatches it from his hands.

Miguel is about to cry until Gabriel throws another bag into his hands.

“Let’s switch topics,” Gabriel grumbles. “I feel like I’m watching a big ass baby.”

Miguel opens the bag and starts crunching.

“I think stars is such a good theme for the nursery. And penguins.”

“I’m turning on Spongebob.”

GymRat!Miguel who is out of his mind watching Squidward run around a blank screen.

The colors were there and now they’re not.

It does a number on him.

GymRat!Miguel who sits staring at Gabriel’s door. Watching. Waiting.

He said that you were coming around eventually.

It was sure taking you a long time to open the door.

GymRat!Miguel who is disappointed when Tempest and her pink-tipped locs bang the door open instead of you.

His slow turn and look of disappointment towards Gabriel is comical.

GymRat!Miguel who is guided back to his room by a more relaxed Tempest who asks Gabriel to distract Conchata.

“Did she say something?” Gabriel asks.

“No, but we need to act normal. She asked me some shit about some seasoning I used and I think dozed off mid-explanation. Can’t remember.”

GymRat!Miguel who finds a picture of you under his pillow right before he goes to sleep.

It’s a part of the polaroids you gave him last Christmas with your tank and panties.

He presses his lips against the film, eyes closing as he groans against it. The action repeats, his mind putting him in front of you.

A pain hits his hip, ache in his bones matching his heartbeat.

He looks down to a gray, metal hand covering him and screams.

Two of his friends jerk up from across the room while Winston throws a pillow at him.

“Shut the fuck up. I’m trying to sleep.”

Tempest squints as she removes her eye mask, “Why did you throw your arm at him?”

“He was making weird sounds,” Winston replies as if the answer was obvious.

GymRat!Miguel who wakes up to Tempest shaking him for dear life.

His eyelids are heavy and the sun peaking through the windows are bright.

His arm covers his eyes as he tries to block it, feelings of his muscles slowly coming back to him.

“C’mon, buddy. You feeling ok?”

Miguel only yawns and nods into the pillow.

“Need to pee? Feeling sick? I got some water right here.”

Miguel slowly sits up with his eyes closed, hair sticking up every which way. Tempest opens his hand and places a glass of water there, helping him guide it to his lips. One taste of the liquid and he’s gulping it down like he’s never drank before.

“What time is it?” he asks, throat dry.

“Noon,” Tempest takes the glass away. “You guys were sleeping like babies. Very cute.”

Memories of last night slowly come back.

He’s pretty sure he texted you a string of random things, but he doesn’t even know if it went through.

“Yeah, I know, I know. Come to the kitchen and eat some food.”

GymRat!Miguel who makes his friends promise to text him when they make it home.

Sure, they’ll probably be on the call tonight playing some game or watching obscure compilations, but he was nothing if not a worrier.

“And don’t forget to-“

“We know, dad,” they say in unison.

GymRat!Miguel who spends Thanksgiving near his grandma.

His mom is giving him sideways looks all day and he feels that something is coming.

GymRat!Miguel who watches his brother place his cousins in formation for a video for the nth time.

“It’s swing, back a-round, grab your pants, thumb up with ‘I’m cool’. Feet out and in at the same time then CIRCLE your arms really high. What is so hard to understand about that guys?”

He runs to his phone on the tripod.

“From the top!”

GymRat!Miguel who hides with his grandma in her bedroom as his mom starts to bark orders. She was doing a lot for someone who didn’t really celebrate Thanksgiving.

The two of them are watching some random sitcom under a giant quilt sharing coconut cookies that she snuck from the kitchen.

“¿Abuela?”

“¿Si nieto?”

“¿Alguna vez has experimentado un desamor?”

His grandmother looks up, chewing as she thought.

“Yes, but only for a short while. I didn’t really have the time to sit with my feelings.”

“But, what if you did? Does it feel as terrible as it sounds?”

“Sometimes. But we’re human. If you’ve put in effort to love, that means you can put effort into yourself to heal and grow.”

Her arms wrap around him and squeeze, kissing his cheek like he was still the chunky baby she met decades ago.

“Now, relax and watch these two teachers avoid love. Maybe you’ll learn something.”

GymRat!Miguel who is leaning on his grandma, cheek pressed against her chest, when Gabriel comes in to plop on the bed.

“Move over,” he whines to Miguel as he tries to push him away to be in the middle.

“I don’t wanna sit next to you. You’re disturbing my peace.”

“And you’re hogging Abuela.”

“Go to her other side!”

“But this side is already warm!”

“My daughter has raised two giant babies,” their grandmother laughs as she moves the blanket to let Gabriel into her other side. “What am I going to do with you two?”

GymRat!Miguel who was nearly asleep when George comes to get them to eat.

It’s deep in the evening and the crickets are loud outside of the window.

He and Gabriel pout, the darkness of the room and the smell of their grandmother’s perfume making them lethargic.

“Your cousins are going to eat up all of the empanadas if you don’t hurry up.”

Miguel perks up and stumbles out of the bed, foggy mind registering his willingness to stuff his face with doughy goodness.

“Like a moth to a flame,” Gabriel says as he helps his grandmother up.

GymRat!Miguel who is on his third or fourth plate, not that he’s really counting, when his mom does what she always does every holiday: annoy him.

“Mijo, have you checked on Xina today? I saw Tempest walk her out the other day. Was she doing alright?”

Miguel glances around the table, mouth full of turkey as he sees his family perk up.

“No, I haven’t,” he answers slowly. “I’ll see her next week. Probably.”

Conchata brings a cup to her mouth while giving him a miffed look.

“And you’re not worried about her? What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing has gotten into me,” Miguel replies calmly. His relatives are staring at him like he’s grown two heads.

“Did you two fight?” one of his aunts asks.

Miguel didn’t understand how this was anyone else’s business, but from the looks of it, it seems that his mother has already told it.

“Can I just finish my food, please?”

His mother thumps her cup against the table with more force than necessary.

“You’re never going to find a suitable woman if you keep acting like this. I know you hurt her somehow and you need to fix it.”

“Ma,” Gabriel interrupts with a hushed tone. “Right here? At the table? Seriously?”

She ignores him and stares at Miguel, as it’s supposed to urge him to obey her. His appetite is long gone.

“I have a suitable woman-“

“Mijo, no. You have stars in your eyes. You’re young, so I know you can’t see it yet, but it’s almost time for you to start planning properly for the future. I can only let your playing go on for so much longer.”

Miguel stares at her, eyes not blinking once. Gabriel anxiously looks back and forth between them.

“Who is up for Abuela’s famous cake? Mm mm mm, I know I am!” he tries, only getting a small portion of the table to move.

Miguel gets up to follow them, plate in his hand heavy and half-eaten.

They’re back at square one.

He’s not sure how many more times he can restart.

GymRat!Miguel who texts you before he knocks out.

He stares at the blinking line, thinking of all that he wants to say, but not really knowing how to put it.

“Happy Thanksgiving mi luz”

“I miss you more than ever today”

“I miss you every day”

He stops himself and turns his phone off.

GymRat!Miguel who does a light jog Friday morning.

He’s been having far too many days of wallowing and feasting.

The November air wakes him up completely.

GymRat!Miguel who thinks he still has THC in his bloodstream when your name pops up on his screen as he’s checking his miles.

He opens it too fast, heart racing faster than what any exercise could do to him.

It’s a link to your calendar, blocks of blues and pinks covering the screen. He sees that your last final is next Thursday, and his plan is already in motion.

He hearts your text and stops himself from spamming you with emojis and pictures.

He’s ready to see you.

GymRat!Miguel who has never been more happy for his coding professor being a recluse and making their final submission online.

He knew for a fact Xina was definitely still processing everything. Quite frankly, he didn’t want to see her unless she was ready to apologize to you.

He tried not to stew on it, his mom’s insinuation putting a bad taste in his mouth.

He had finals to focus on and a girlfriend to win back so he pushed thoughts of crumbling friendship to the back of his mind.

GymRat!Miguel who sits in the hallway of the art building. It was becoming a familiar sight for someone who couldn’t draw a stick figure to save his life.

He waits for the studio door to open, leg bouncing involuntarily. He wasn’t sure when it would end, so he got there about thirty minutes after it started.

Maybe that was a bad idea, simply because he feels like he’s about to sweat out of the stupid button down and sweater he chose to wear. The thick knitting was starting to suffocate him.

Pulling at the chain around his neck, he wonders if he can appeal to you like he did around this time last year.

The door opens in the middle of his tenth time rehearsing what he was going to say. A few students walk out, arms full of canvases as they chat about whatever.

Miguel stands, big bouquet in his hands and heartbeat in his ear. The students notice him and shuffle out of his way as he heads towards the studio entrance.

GymRat!Miguel who spots you talking with a classmate.

You’re both bent over some, engrossed in conversation.

Miguel sees you laugh before you stand up straight. The guy next to you looks familiar.

He rises too, and his build and height become all of the focus. His hand lands on the middle on your back and slowly begins to fall down.

Miguel is building the formation of your name at the back of his tongue, anger climbing before he can really think about it.

You grab the guy’s arm and yank it off, a smack on his shoulder to follow.

Miguel stops himself with an ugly sound, alerting you both to turn and look at him.

GymRat!Miguel who hides the bouquet behind his back, not wanting you to see it yet. Not when your friend was making him shoot daggers with his eyes.

You walk over to him eyes curious, and Miguel thinks that there was no way in this lifetime, no way in this timeline, that you weren’t made for him.

“Hi,” Miguel starts.

“Hi,” you repeat back.

“We’re matching.”

Miguel couldn’t help but to sound giddy about it. He was more than ecstatic about it. You both looked like a couple, therefore you are a couple.

You purse your lips and nod, “That we are. Did you spy on me?”

Miguel copies you and shakes his head.

“You look different.”

“Ah. I uh, I ate good.”

You pat his stomach, fingers tentative and soft, “I see.”

Miguel wants to say something back but your eyes are scanning him with a small light similar to your anniversary night.

He breathes in and puffs his chest up a bit, like a bird trying to show off his pretty feathers to win over his lady. The corners of your lips twitch, holding back your smile.

That alone brightens Miguel up.

GymRat!Miguel who tries not to deflate when your classmate slash friend slash him-imposter makes his way into an A and B conversation.

“I haven’t seen you around campus before,” he puts his right hand out, “I’m Royce.”

Miguel’s eyes flit to you and you look up to the ceiling avoiding his look with your hands behind your back. He brings his left hand out, still poorly hiding his gift for you, twisting his wrist to shake Royce’s hand.

“Miguel.”

“Strong grip you’ve got there, Miguel,” Royce smiled, lip piercing shining. The chains attached to his pants clinked together as be let go.

“Just happy to meet new people.”

Royce pulls the sleeves of his sweater up and grins, like he knew something Miguel didn’t. The fullness of his tattoos contrasted his skin.

“Likewise. What else do you have there?” he tilts his head.

You push him in his side, Royce’s laugh echoing of the studio ceiling, “Go away. You’re so irritating.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. I’m guessing this means our late night session is rain checked?” he asks as your eyebrows raise.

He barely dodges as you pick up a ruler and swing at him, laughing as your professor tiredly asks you both to chill out.

Royce calms down, grabs his things, and hugs you goodbye, black hair brushing against your head.

“See you later. Bye, Miguel,” he sings, hand waving.

Miguel makes a line with his lips as he watches him leave.

“Interesting guy.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty fun,” you say, watching Miguel’s lips. “You ok?”

His face shifted, “I should be asking you that after everything.”

“Hm,” your eyes casted down. “Well, you’re here, so I think that counts for something.”

GymRat!Miguel who presents the bouquet to you, nervous of your reaction.

“It’s a small start, but I, I hope that we can still be together. I talked to Xina like you asked and I want to go somewhere with you to really say everything. All truths on the table.”

Your mouth wobbles as your eyes light up from the fairy lights woven throughout the green and golden roses.

“I’m sorry it’s not as big as it’s supposed to be.”

The woman he ordered them from was stacked with birthday and anniversary bouquets. He paid more than he should to get his flowers finished faster.

“‘You are my Evangeline’?” you ask, fingers going over the silky petals.

“Sí,” his hands cover yours over the bottom of the bunch. “La luz de mi vida, mi estrella. Mi bella Evangeline.”

You pout, stopping yourself from falling, only to plant your face in his chest, glasses and all.

Miguel wraps his arms around you, confused.

“You make me so weak,” you mumble.

His hands clutch onto your sweater, heart warm.

“I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing.”

You move your head, cheek pressed against his chest, “Of course you don’t. C’mon.”

His sweater is a little damp but he doesn’t mention it.

GymRat!Miguel who wants to skip as he follows you back to your dorm, but your wet oil paint canvases are in his hands. One wrong move, and his pants will be stained with whatever color landed on him.

He watches as you cradle your flowers to your chest, glancing down whenever you were waiting to cross the street.

“Do you like them?”

“Yes. They’re beautiful.”

He could do a backflip.

GymRat!Miguel who takes his shoes off by your door.

Your dorm smells like oranges and cherries, something so different than the pinecones and brown leaves outside.

“Where do want me to put these?” he asks, holding the sides of your paintings with all of his focus.

You turn and laugh at his stiff stance. His arms were stretched out to a slanted T and his feet were placed together.

“Just sit them up against the wall. They won’t bite you,” you say.

“Ok,” he says and awkwardly puts them down. He pauses his hands in front of them afterwards in case they fall.

You go to sit at your desk, placing the flowers down.

“Is Jess here?” you hear Miguel ask.

“No, she’s gone for winter break already.”

You survey your desk, looking for anything else to focus on. You brought him here, you asked for him to prove himself, yet it’s barely been two weeks since you told him that. You feel silly for it.

Still, when you don’t hear or feel him for a while, you call his name.

“Miguel?”

“What’s this?” he asks.

Spinning around, you see he’s by the end of your bed, on the floor rummaging through a box.

“You packed my stuff up?” he holds up a hoodie that you only let him wear shortly before it finds its way back into your closet. His eyebrows turn, limbs heavy as he pulls out gift after jacket after picture. So many things that marked his time together with you.

“Looking at everything was too much for me. I did it the night we fought. It helped me to focus and not,” you threw your hands up, “simmer on my boyfriend sleeping with someone who is practically the opposite of me.”

Miguel pushes the box to the side and crawls towards you. It was an odd sight to see him inching steadily across your big rug. He stops and sits in front of you, face upset.

“I really wish you would listen to me. I wish you would believe me.”

“I’m trying-“

“No, baby,” Miguel says, pulling your chair towards him. You were too far away. “You’re not. You’re blocking me out.”

You blink, fingers picking at your nails.

“Do you remember that time I said I wasn’t going to let you go?” Miguel wraps your legs around his sides and slots his head on your thigh. “I was serious about that. You aren’t supposed to let me go either.”

“I know,” you whisper. “I know.”

“So if you know, why did you let me go?”

You took a deep breath.

“Because I was hurting, Miguel. I painted this picture in my head of you two being this perfect, ideal couple because of….jealousy? Insecurity? I don’t know. I would see you two in the library sometimes or standing in line for food together, close and wrapped up in a bubble. I kept telling myself that you both were friends. These are the things that friends do. I would leave before I could give myself time to get stupidly upset. But when we were all hanging out together, you kept defending everything she was doing.”

Miguel thinks back to the comments and snide remarks he let slide and wants to shake that version of himself out of delusion.

“Then, there were the messages that weren’t going through, the calls that were getting dropped. Sometimes, I saw Xina holding you,” your voice faltered. “And she’d wear things I could find in my closet and I thought I was being punked. So, when I saw you on your birthday and took a leap of faith, I was destroyed when she was texting your phone.”

You couldn’t take it. You thought he lied to your face for months.

Miguel closed his eyes, trying to form what he wanted to say.

He’s thinking about how stupid he was to not see your pain. The signs were all there, or at least, the times when he should have stepped in were.

That aside, he was upset. Upset at the situation, upset that his relationship has been torn by someone who barely acknowledged him for a year, upset at you.

He didn’t want another girl, he didn’t need another girl, and even if by some sick and terrible decision, he decided to part ways with you, he would never choose Xina.

She couldn’t love him the way you do and what she did to him showed that.

She couldn’t make him feel the way you do. You left him with butterflies, you made him excited. You brought him so much joy.

She couldn’t care for him the way that you did. She would rather hang him out to dry to make herself look good before she thought about how he felt about something.

She couldn’t even confess to him without hurting him, without trying to shift her chances of being with him. It sucks that her life was changing so rapidly against her will, but that didn’t mean she had to create a whirlwind for him to suffer through, too.

It’s so irritating how she came in and swept up his time, his life, and your confidence, but it’s more frustrating for you to have to even wonder if she could replace you.

Miguel’s mind is going a thousand miles per minute, head starting to hurt with how aggravated he was.

“Don’t cry,” you say reaching up to his face, sniffling. “Please, don’t cry.”

He didn’t even notice he was. He realizes then that his thoughts were made aloud.

“’M sorry,” he says, face scrunching up. He leans into your hand, eyes closed as the tears fall. “I’m sorry for everything. But I’m angry that you keep thinking that you’re not worth my love. You’re worth it. You’re worth so much more than what I can give you. But I feel so lucky that you’re giving me the chance to be a part of your life, so I want you to love yourself, too.”

You nod once, twice, before your palms cover your face and you’re sobbing. Miguel pulls you down to his lap, holding you tight. He hated that you were fighting these thoughts alone, but now that he’s aware of everything he’ll try his best again to give you the love you needed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered into your hair like a mantra.

Through your sorrow, your relief, you everything, you echo his words, “I’m sorry, too. I should have trusted you more.”

“True,” Miguel says and you laugh in the midst of your aches. “But I still love you.”

“I love you, too. I never stopped.”

He squeezes you tighter, heart feather light.

GymRat!Miguel who eventually gets you comfortable, the two of you settling down on the giant plush bean bag sofa that you’ve stuffed under your dorm bed.

He was prepared to wine and dine you, but you insisted on videos and some warm, fulfilling fast food. The true college dream.

You laid on his chest, watching as the man on screen yelled as his character opened the door to a bathroom and a stranger was fixing the sink. Miguel tensed under you, hands gripping the waist of your lounging pants.

It was making up for the Halloween you two spent apart.

“Too scary?” you move your head to look at his face.

His mouth was twisted up, heart beating, “No…”

“Then, why are you holding me so tight?”

“A boyfriend can’t hold his girlfriend?”

You grinned.

You didn’t know how much you missed him calling you his girlfriend until he was less than a centimeter away from you.

A scream followed by a line of curses comes from your laptop speakers, Miguel gasping and squinting at the screen, eyes almost squeezing shut.

“You know, we don’t have to watch this,” you try your best to turn your body so that you were fully on top of him. “We can watch something else.”

Miguel focused on your face, eyes fighting to not look at your lips, “Like what?”

“We can watch a cooking competition. I know you have some documentaries and video essays saved up. We could watch those.”

Miguel thinks he could really be a lip reader. Your lips were moving pretty fast, but he thinks he got most of it.

“You want to use the kitchen this late? It might be closed.”

You slide your hand up his chest, comforting through the thin shirt. Your lips move again and Miguel blinks slowly trying to keep up.

A touch on his jaw has him look up.

“Did you hear me?”

Miguel moves his head in a circle, answer going from yes to no.

“What are you thinking right now?”

He feels you out, hands slowly going down your back and circling the area where your thighs curve out into your ass.

“How much I need to kiss you.”

“Oh really?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Then maybe, you should put those words into action.”

That was all he needed to pull you up, mouth going to yours like a magnet. You make a startled noise as he opens his mouth to slide his lip from your jaw to the bottom of your lip.

You open your mouth with his, thumbs rubbing against his sideburns as he hums against your tongue. The sound of the push and pull of your lips fills the small space under your bed. The tale of the girl and her winter vacation long forgotten in the background.

His hands go under your waistband, palms bringing extra warmth as he squeezes over your underwear.

“I missed this,” he sighs, mouth and hands working together to make you melt into him. He was starting to grind you against him, humming low in his throat.

“Kissing me or something else?” you open your eyes a little, watching his eyelashes against his cheek.

He pushes up against you, bean bag shifting down, “Everything.”

“Cheeky.”

“More like charmed.”

The two of you were glued to each other long enough for the hour long video to end, only the glow of your fairy lights and lamps lighting your room.

Both of your shirts were pulled up, your chest smooshed against his. Miguel had one hand around your waist, massaging your side, and another pulling your underwear between your lips so that you had something extra to feel as you grind against his groin.

“Bebecita,” Miguel says after you let his tongue from your lips. He pecks you in between his words, hungry. “Let’s move this to the bed.”

He kisses down your jaw, making no effort to get up.

“I don’t have any condoms and unless you’re willing to drive out to get some-”

Miguel removes a hand to reach into his pocket.

“Did you just have that on you?” you ask looking at the pack of condoms in his hand.

“No. I got them when I went to go get clothes.”

You tut, “So you just thought we were going have sex? You’re not even supposed to be in here right now.”

He slides his fingers down between your legs, pressing on your lips over cotton, “Of course not, bebe. I’m not an animal.”

He rubs and sucks a kiss into your neck. You’re so lost in him that you didn’t even realize that you were beginning to push back against his fingers. The moan you let out brings you back to reality.

Seeing Miguel’s smug face made you hide yours in his chest.

“Just try not to be too loud. I don’t know if my neighbor is still here or not,” you muffled into his skin.

GymRat!Miguel who really didn’t give a fuck about the neighbors.

He thinks he wants them to hear. It’s been too long since he had you, his decency was thrown out of the window.

Right now, he was head first, indulging, sucking at the entrance of your heat. You were on your knees, ass in his face, and feet hanging off the bed. You were already so wet from earlier, but now he has you dripping down his face onto the floor, moaning into your pillow.

He didn’t hear you over himself as he gripped your skin to spread you over his tongue. Your thighs were shaking like a leaf, feet occasionally kicking as Miguel found his pocket to make you suck him in.

You sounded off into the silk case below you, trying not to make yourself louder than the music you put on.

Miguel was satisfied that you came on his tongue, but didn’t like you censoring yourself not one bit.

“I want to try something new,” he states into your skin, sucking your clit through the aftershocks.

You only give him a shaky thumbs up, mind still finding its other pieces.

GymRat!Miguel who has you flat against your stomach along the bed. There really was barely any room to do this, but he was going to make it work.

You had a long mirror in your room that wasn’t attached to the wall, so beforehand, he brought it over to lean against the desk and turn it towards the top of your bed. He saw the confusion in your face through the glass, but he only smiled and went right back to you.

Now, he was holding one cheek over as he slid in slowly. From the mirror, he could see your face scrunch up. He shifted his knees, watching.

“¿Estás bien?” he asks. “Want me to slow down? Pull out?”

“No,” you keen, constricting around him. He sucked air in through his teeth, feeling you suck him in. “I just haven’t felt you in a while.”

He leans to kiss up your back, taking fat in between his lips to mark it as his. He fights the urge to just bite and stay there for a while.

“Whose fault is that, pretty?” he teases, dragging his lips to the back of neck.

You look to your left and pout at him through the mirror. He looks back, eyes scanning your naked upper half.

You arch your back and tighten around him. He thinks you’re a menace.

“Yours,” you tease back.

“Yeah?” his left hand grabs your waist, thumb pressing into the small of your back. He slides out a bit, hips elevated. “Let me fix that, then.”

His hips dip back into you, smack of his skin against yours. The bed creaks and Miguel watches your eyelids fall.

“Do you want a fast solution?” Miguel says right in your ear. “Or should we do some deeper research?”

He snaps his hips again, leaning down and pressing his weight onto you. Your hands curl up against the mattress, mouth open but only letting out gasps and breaths. Miguel nearly pulls all the way out, then swerves back in, pushing your voice out of you.

“It sounds like you want to pull from some scholarly articles,” Miguel whispers. He’s barely picking up a sweat while you’re hot everywhere. “It’s unclear.”

The springs of the mattress sing, metal and wood bed frame keeping a steady tempo against the wall.

You can’t even focus enough to tell him to shut up, the position you were in knocking the wind out of you. You start to hide your face in your pillow again, overwhelmed.

Miguel releases an offended sound.

“Nuh uh,” his right hand wraps in front of your neck. He pulls head up and turns it towards the mirror. “Look how pretty you look. Don’t hide.”

Your boyfriend might be a little nuts.

Your eyes can’t even focus but he’s holding your head steady and nibbling your earlobe as he waits. Your glasses are crooked and fogging up, you can’t even really see.

His name tries to fall from your mouth, but that “M” sound comes out broken and loud. He’s too busy being enchanted by how good you look.

“Mi preciosa princesita,” his hips stutter as you clench in response. “So gorgeous.”

He’s hitting your spot over and over again. You’re losing track of time.

“Don’t you think so too, baby?” Miguel huffs.

“Y-yes, Miggy, please.”

“Are you close?”

You nod, watching his eyes get darker.

“Ok, bebé. I still have some follow-up questions, though. Gonna answer them?”

A yell comes out as your answer, Miguel stroking faster.

He kisses your cheek and takes your glasses off. They were slipping and he was scared you were going to break them.

“Question one, do you want to do something for winter break?”

He opens your legs a bit, leaning and wrapping his hand under your body. His fingers find your clit and rub nice and slow. Overstimulated, you scream into the pillow. Miguel kisses your shoulder as he hums.

“I think that’s a yes,” Miguel says. Your back arches as you try to move your hips to match his pace. “Question two, what do you want for Christmas? It’s getting late, but I’ll find it. I swear.”

“Fuck, Miguel,” you say as his hands move to your breasts. He can’t do much, but there’s still something so good about him all over you.

“You want this again? We can arrange that.”

He was close and you could hear it in the way his voice wavered.

“Last question,” he rose off of you, hands pushing against your back. Your body couldn’t move as he slapped his pelvis against your ass. The recoil sounded off in the room and the entire bed jumped with his movement.

“Are you still mad at me?”

Your back arched as you felt him breach deep enough to make you go crazy. He was mumbling something but your thoughts were swimming with his dick inside of you about to introduce another orgasm.

“Say it back, baby. You gotta say it back,” Miguel’s voice sounds out.

There might be a pool of drool growing under your face. Your boyfriend didn’t care, though. He would still want you to say that declaration through any obstruction.

“I love you, Miguel. Te amo tanto.”

His hips quicken, bed against the wall like a drumline.

When he cums, his body tightens and releases, weight letting go as he covers you. He’s breathing hard, “te amo,” his proverb to you.

You blink at the mirror, vision blurry, but the comforted and satisfied expression of Miguel still recognizable.

You could stay like this, breaths slowly becoming tighter until you fall asleep in his arms.

The bed gives a loud snap, scaring Miguel into nearly falling off of it with you on top.

It’s leaning a little more to the back left than it should.

“Did you just break my fucking bed?”

He panics, “I-it was a joint effort!”

“Miguel.”

GymRat!Miguel who thanks whatever entity it is out there afterwards that it was just a screw that came out and not the bed actually completely splitting.

“This is why the beds are tiny in the first place,” you say from the bean bag, watching him screw it back together.

“I would have covered the costs if it was actually broken. We should look into sturdy bed frames for the future, though.”

“Oh?”

Miguel pauses, “Not that I was thinking about that!”

“You already have a list, don’t you.”

You watch his hands stutter as he puts your screwdriver back in your bin.

GymRat!Miguel who suggests you lay on top of him in the bed.

The two of you were freshly showered and ready to close your eyes any minute now.

“We should take breaks more often. I feel like jelly,” you say with a low voice, drawing circles over his chest.

He grabs your wrist, voice serious in the dark, “Don’t joke like that.”

“Hmm, I guess you’re right. You made up for the last time you didn’t make me come.“

“Baby.”

You giggled into him as he pinched your sides.

“What about you and Royce? Your friend whose name starts with an R and ends with an E.”

“It’s not my fault rose and Royce are similar!”

“But you knew what you were doing. How cruel,” he pouts.

You pat his cheek!

“Well, you don’t have to worry because he has a boyfriend.”

“Oh! So, he’s gay.”

“Bi. Open relationship.”

“Oh,” Miguel replied, less happy.

“I kind of just want one lover, though.”

“Oh,” Miguel says again, more happy. “What kind of lover?”

You stay quiet for so long, Miguel thinks you’ve gone to sleep.

There’s a lot of things that you love about him. His kindness, his heart, his determination, his wit. Tonight, though, he truly took your breath away.

And you realize, he’s always done that.

“The kind that loves me the way that you do.”

Miguel’s chest rises and falls like a wave that gets weaker as it hits the shore.

“Me too, mi luz. Me too.”

divider by: fanguro + adornedwithlight 🩵

a/n: Our family is has been brought back together!! Also, if you get which horror game they were watching, you get a gold star.

Please very mindful, very cutesy, very demure in the comments. Don’t ask about the next part unless you have something nice/constructive to say to go with it. And no, this is not the last time Xina will be in this story. But it’ll get better!

The taglist is full, so if you would like to be informed of future updates, check my blog occasionally (💀) or subscribe to the story on AO3!

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[blu-xp]

ok i wanna yap abt WL ep 4 specifically abt scarian so im gonna

i know scar never plays into the "angry revenge skeeker" type character in the life series and even when he has targets he always keep his character light hearted and straight forward, which i appreciate! but it's so silly that after grian blows up his rep board and says to his face that they're enemies and he will kill him and Jimmy when he gets the chance all he has to respond with is pretty much "nah u love me too much to rly hate me :J"

like this feels so much like some silly couple banter over actual scarian angst BECAUSE scar remembers everything since he won SL it's less off "Oh scar really just thinks grian couldn't hate him so much" it's "we've been through this before we've danced this dance i know grian more than I know myself" and I LOVE IT

grian claims their enemies and while yes I fully believe grian will forever hold that grudge against Jimmy at the very least I don't think he truly means that he'll ever target scar unless fully prompted to

and! if he did end up targeting scar! I really feel like Scar would brush it off like he has been and just smile his silly smirk

plus how many times already this season has it seemed like the bamboozlers and sub oners were gonna become enemies?? and technically haven't? they live right on top/underneath one another itd be pretty tricky staying enemies with someone who lives in your basement

then again if I'm being honest it doesn't really seem like anyone's made true enemies (yet) so who knows maybe next week's episode will make me eat my words

anyways tldr I'm still crazy about scarian i never left that desert

[lu-is-not-ok]

two in one theory... i am listening very intently if you ever feel up to share it!!

Alright, so this is gonna be... as close to an Abridged explanation of the theory as I can make, because if I went off on everything about it I would end up writing a whole dissertation or five hour video essay script on this shit.

There are gonna be three main sections to this post - Hong Lu's Daiyuisms, Hong Lu's Themes of Identity and how that connects to the concept of Two in One, and the Daiyu-Baoyu theory itself.

Strap in folks.

Hong Lu's Daiyuisms

If you know anything about my theories in the earlier days of Limbus, you might know that I'm one of the very few people who was convinced Hong Lu is actually Daiyu, due to some evidence I found personally compelling. This has not changed, as we've only gotten just as much extra evidence to this as we have to him being Baoyu. So let me just speedrun through some of these points.

The Fucking Jade Eye

Ok hear me out. This is maybe the least important piece of evidence but I can never stop thinking about it. Hong Lu's jade eye? Not actually fully blue! If you look closely on most of his sprites, you can see that he actually has sectoral heterochromia, meaning his jade eye is both blue and black.

Daiyu's name, quite literally, translates to blue-black jade.

Now, you could claim that this is merely meant to be an easter egg reference to her, but... is that really Project Moon's style? After all, when people speculated on Don Quixote being Sancho or a Bloodfiend partially based on her appearance all the way back since near launch, they turned out to be right.

Hong Lu's Father

As of now, there is only one instance of Hong Lu referencing his Father in Limbus, and it's a voiceline from his Base Identity:

Now, if you know anything about DOTRC, this should already be raising some flags, because if Hong Lu was just Baoyu, he would not fucking talk like that about his Father.

In the book, Baoyu is consistently shown to be afraid of his Father, for a good reason mind you, as he's his main abuser. Baoyu would not be looking forward to introducing his friends to that man.

Even if Hong Lu was trying to downplay the abuse he's recieved, this would still not fit his pattern of behavior. When topics that genuinely bother Hong Lu come up, such as what could make him distort or how rich people would enjoy gifts made of humans, he immediately pivots and tries to avoid the topic at all cost. He would not bring up his main abuser in such a lighthearted manner, he would avoid bringing him up at all cost.

However, there is a character in DOTRC which does in fact have a more positive relationship to her Father, and would likely be the one with an opinion such as that - Daiyu. Daiyu loves her Father, and when he dies she completely disappears from the story for a bit to attend his funeral. If there was anyone who would be excited to introduce their friends to their Father, it'd be Daiyu.

Lasso Hong Lu's Corrosion

I made a whole seperate post about this, but I might as well mention it here as well for the sake of completion. The design choices made for Hong Lu which are missing for Faust are very, very Daiyu-coded.

For one, not only does Hong Lu completely turn into a flower, unlike Faust, his horse also gains a flower in its mouth. For those whose knowledge of DOTRC is zero to none, Daiyu is a reincarnation of a Flower given sentience due to being watered by the Jade. I don't think I have to be the one to connect the dots between those two pieces of info for you.

The second is how the halters become a noose for Hong Lu. This, too, is a very Daiyu thing - Rose Hunter as an Abnormality represents the inability to escape one's fate, and Daiyu's fate is to die - the Jia Family arranging a marriage between Baoyu and Baochai leads to Daiyu falling deathly ill, which in itself could be considered a part of her repaying her Debt of Tears - the debt she swore to repay to the Jade/Baoyu when she was still a Flower.

The hilarity of the fact that this E.G.O came out in the same update as Hong Lu being called Baoyu in-story is not lost on me.

Rose Sign Abnormality Log

The third Log for Rose Sign ends in a very peculiar way.

There's multiple ways one can tie Hong Lu's odd reluctance to talk about flowers and the petals. One is the obvious "he's being reminded of Daiyu because she was a Flower" connection, but there's another one.

One of the most commonly potrayed images of Daiyu relates to a scene in DOTRC where she buries fallen flower petals, weeping for and lamenting the mortality of the flowers and herself. Hong Lu's reaction here to his fellow Sinners being reduced to nothing but petals upon Rose Sign's death feels like a notable parallel to Daiyu's flower burial scene.

Like literally everything about Kurokumo Hong Lu

The title for this is a bit of an exaggeration, but at the same time. I'm serious. Kurokumo Hong Lu is perhaps the most Daiyu Identity out of all the Hong Lu Identities we have, and the way he is designed to stand out among them further makes me go insane.

Kurokumo Hong Lu's most defining trait is his attitude - he often complains about his position and how authority treats him, though he doesn't really act out against them in any major way outside of making snarky or sarcastic remarks.

This is, frankly, an extremely Daiyu thing to do. Daiyu is one of the few characters who audibly complains about her treatment in the household. For example she complains about not being given as many opportunities to show off her poetry skills as her male peers are, and she recognises how, when all the girls in the family are given flowers, she's the last one to recieve them and thus is stripped of the ability to pick, being only given the leftovers.

Then there's the whole. Everything about Kurokumo Hong Lu's visual design. Because once you realize just how Daiyu-like the Identity is, you realize just how weird he is compared to other Hong Lu Identities. I mean just look how he compares to his other Identities.

He's the only Hong Lu Identity with a blue tint to his hair in the combat sprite rather than the usual purple.

He's the only Hong Lu Identity whose hairtie is a ribbon rather than a jade ring (Liu Hong Lu technically has the ribbon in his post-uptie art, but he doesn't have it in his combat sprite so I'm not counting him).

He's the only Hong Lu Identity to not be smiling in his combat sprites.

And he's the only Hong Lu Identity (and one of only four Identities in the game) whose Idle sprite has its body facing away from the opponent rather than facing towards them.

All of those combine to make him stand out like a sore thumb in a Hong Lu Identity lineup in a way that makes it feel intentional, especially since he's also the only Hong Lu Identity with that kind of notable attitude towards authority. Other Hong Lu Identities are either obedient, don't express any opinion, or just straight up are the authority.

The Baoyu reveal is framed in a very weird way

This is, admittedly, less of a Daiyuism and more of a not-Baoyuism, but I thought it'd be important to mention nonetheless.

There are a lot of things about Canto 7's reveal of Hong Lu's name being Baoyu that are very strange, especially compared to how the Canto frames Don Quixote's own reveal of actually being Sancho.

For one, the timing itself - why is such an important piece of info being revealed so early? Again, compare to Donqui - she was revealed to be a Bloodfiend in the Intervallo right before Canto 7, and the Sancho reveal only came in the second half of the Canto.

For two, the framing - Donqui's reveals are treated as what they are, Major Reveals. The Baoyu reveal on the other hand happens in a single off-handed line, with nobody reacting to it in any way. Neither Hong Lu nor the other Sinners seem to hear it after all.

And mind you, it's not like Limbus is opposed to giving us important information in off-handed lines - far from it in fact. Project Moon loves shoving little bits of foreshadowing and reveals you don't realize are reveals until way later in these kinds of off-handed lines. But the way those lines are treated is still very different to how the Baoyu reveal is treated.

Usually, when there's foreshadowing in off-handed lines, it's usually either vague enough to be something a character could say regardless of context (see Yi Sang getting hung up on the Sedatives bit in Canto 2 or Ishmael's comment about Syndicates pretending to be Families foreshadowing her own history with the Middle via Queequeg) or something that is in the middle of a scene that distracts from what is actually being said (like Hong Lu's distortion foreshadowing being in the middle of an important infodump or most of everything in Canto 2 being surrounded by a comedic tone).

None of this is present for the Baoyu reveal. There's nothing to distract you from this information, as the scene is already focused on discussing Hong Lu, meaning you're already likely to be paying attention to what is being said about him. There's also no vagueness about it, there's no way you can brush it off since not only are Wei and Xichun newly introduced characters, but it's a whole ass clearcut namedrop.

The only way I can justify that reveal being there in the form it takes is that it in itself is the distraction. Think about it. Didn't I point it out earlier that this reveal came in the same update as the E.G.O with an extremely Daiyu-coded corrosion design? Wouldn't it make sense for that reveal to be there to lower your guard, make you think you resolved that mystery, only to later on reveal it wasn't the whole story after all?

Hong Lu's Themes of Identity

So this section is a bit more vague than the Daiyuism section, because Hong Lu is the type of guy to just Say Shit all the time. It's basically just. Anything that I find relevant to the idea of Hong Lu's Identity being more complex than him just being a random guy using a pseudonym, with some (but maybe not all) of them directly tying to the idea of Two in One.

"Which one is the real you?"

There are currently two seperate scenes where Hong Lu muses on the idea of someone's identity being in some way vague or obscured.

Is Dante the person or the clock? Is the dreamer the one in the dream or the one who wakes from it? Which you is the real you? Does it even matter if that you will flutter away in the end?

This idea of there being one true self. That even if there are two, there is only one of them that is actually you. Curious, right?

Face-changing dance

During the Canto 2 scene where everyone gives their reasons for whether or not they'd be a good pick for being the one to dance, Hong Lu says this.

Bian lian is a kind of dance literally translated as "face-changing". It involves rapid changes between various masks and make-up to represent different emotions or characters.

Now, it's no secret that Hong Lu is a great actor, as we see in Canto 4, and Canto 7 shows how the comparison to theatre and actors can be used to symbolize one's performance of identity, as it does for Sancho and her Don Quixote persona.

Mind you, this reveal comes in the same scene as Sinclair's dance invoking the image of a bonfire burning all through the night according to the Mariachis, a clear foreshadowing to Canto 3 and the Literal burning down of Sinclair's home.

Hong Lu knowing bian lian could be further foreshadowing to his own skills in deception, and how he too is a sort of actor, not unlike Don Quixote. On the other hand however, it could also be a more literal foreshadowing, that he (Baoyu) Quite Literally changed his face. We won't know until Canto 8, but it is an option you know.

The HamHamPangPang dish(es)

For those who don't know, here is a list of the Sinner-themed dishes that were available at HamHamPangPang.

Now, chances are, not all of them have deep meanings. I don't think there's much of a deep meaning to Heathcliff and Ishmael's dishes, I think PJM just legit don't know much about British/American cuisine so they just picked something recogniseable.

However, not all of them are meaningless picks either. Ryoshu, likely a mother, has a meal literally called "parent-and-child donburi". Don Quixote, a Bloodfiend, has a garlic-based dish. These were clearly done on purpose.

So, what does it say that Hong Lu's dish is actually two different dishes? That he's the only one whose dish is two different dishes? And it's not like the two are in some way inherently connected, since they're of completely different cuisines. Japchae is a Korean dish, not Chinese like the Mandarin rolls.

And just in case you weren't convinced that Hong Lu's choice of dishes is purposeful - another name for Mandarin rolls is flower buns, and one of the special occasions japchae is commonly served for is weddings. If you had read through the Daiyuisms section and somehow have no idea what the significance of that is, I don't know what to tell you.

The Daiyu-Baoyu Theory (finally)

So. I gave some evidence for why I think Hong Lu could still be Daiyu despite being revealed as Baoyu. I gave some evidence for why I think Hong Lu could be a Two in One deal, or that at the very least there's something more complex going on with his identity. But let's discuss the theory itself, how it would recontextualize certain things, and why I think it's an extremely fitting an thematically resonant direction for Hong Lu's Canto to go in.

The Theory

Here's what I speculate is going on.

Daiyu, just like in DOTRC, is someone who was taken in into the Jia Household rather than born in it, and who strongly connected with Baoyu upon meeting him. The two would end up forming a bond strong enough that they would be willing to die for one another (or, if they're in particularly argumentative moods, to kill themselves just to force the other to have to live a long life grieving over them - this is an actual argument they have in DOTRC and I pray to god this is adapted into Limbus because it's too fucking funny).

At some point, Baoyu either dies or is brought to near death, likely through the same circumstances as in DOTRC - being beaten by his Father. To save him, his memories and consciousness would be transferred to his eye, a process not dissimilar to the one Xichun brings up in Canto 7, and implanted into Daiyu's body, causing them to become a vessel for Baoyu. This would be how Hong Lu as he is now is created.

All of the above is the main basis for this theory. Everything else that I might speculate about, such as the exact nature of the two's relationship, Daiyu's more exact background and personality, how their pre-reincarnation lives could be adapted - all of those are things that are purely speculative and ones that I don't really expect to be actually fulfilled. The only bits that I am sure are likely to be true is what I laid out above.

So... what does it all mean for the future? I'm glad you asked!

The Recontextualization

Here's a collection of just a couple of things that Hong Lu has said or is depicted as that would be heavily recontextualized if this theory ends up being true.

Hong Lu surviving despite claiming he didn't fight back when his siblings first tried to kill him: With the context that he used to be two seperate people, the answer to how he survived is made very simple. Baoyu is the one who wasn't fighting back. Daiyu, however, could have still protected him in turn.

The red ribbon on Hong Lu's weapon: There is only one other Sinner who has a similar decoration on their weapon - Ryoshu, who also has a red ribbon on her sword, which could be easily connected to Yuzuki and her death. With the context of Hong Lu being Baoyu occupying Daiyu's body and thus effectively rendering their self non-existent, the red ribbon could be a parallel symbol - a symbol of Daiyu and their 'death'.

How Hong Lu treats his weapon in his base E.G.O: The way Hong Lu holds his weapon in the illustration is more like he's cradling another person. This could be a representation of how he feels about Daiyu's situation. Likewise, in the attack animation, he's not really attacking with the weapon itself, is he? He's simply using it to direct a ribbon (which in itself is missing in the illustration), the part that is actually the attack. If the weapon in the base E.G.O represents Daiyu, this could be a parallel to how Baoyu feels like he's merely directing Daiyu's body to attack, rather than being the one actually attacking.

The duality of Hong Lu IDs: There is a notable pattern among Hong Lu IDs, and that is the focus on his attitude to violence. When he's in a situation where he's obedient towards his Family, he's either uninterested in violence, bored of it, or otherwise given no other choice but to use it as a reprieve from boredom. However, when he's in a situation where he's disconnected from his Family or otherwise questioning the status quo, he's shown to not only be much more aggressive and violent, but to outright enjoy it. With the context of Hong Lu being composed of two people, this duality could represent each of his components - the obedient and violence-averse being more Baoyu-like, while the questioning and violence-favoring being more Daiyu-like.

So, there's a bunch of stuff that would be given new meaning under the premise of this theory being true. But now, what about the future? What would this theory mean for the themes and ending of Canto 8?

The Resolution

I believe this is how the Daiyu-Baoyu theory will affect Canto 8.

At some point, whether before or during the Canto, it will be revealed that Hong Lu is both Daiyu and Baoyu. There will be an attempt to seperate the two, perhaps to implant Baoyu into a more fitting, more Jia Family-approved Vessel. Perhaps because the 'arranged marriage' from DOTRC could be adapted into something more... let's say Fear and Hunger kind of marriage rather than traditional marriage.

This will leave Hong Lu to be returned to their state as Daiyu, who will be revealed to be a very different person to what the Sinners knew Hong Lu as. There is a non-zero chance that Daiyu will be unable to hear Dante or be revived by them due to the one who signed the contract being Baoyu, and so they could end up acting as an uncontrollable ally unit not unlike Xichun in Canto 7.

The climax would then be Daiyu and Baoyu reuniting and being unwilling to part with each other again, even for the sake of returning to being the fake persona that is Hong Lu, leading to a potential duo boss fight/distortion boss fight/duo distortion boss fight.

The ending would be the two of them deciding to embrace their new identity as Hong Lu and truly becoming one, discarding their pasts and the selves that had been forced on them by the Jia Family. This ending would have a twofold meaning regarding how it connects to the DOTRC adaptation.

One - it would be a direct parallel to the ending of DOTRC where Baoyu leaves to become a monk. By becoming Hong Lu and discaring his previous identities, he'd be leaving behind the earthly attachments inherent to being Baoyu and Daiyu and become spiritually whole.

Two - it would be a reflection of the major theme of DOTRC, that being "Truth becomes fiction when the fiction's true. Real becomes not-real when the unreal's real." Hong Lu, as a person, is a 'fake' persona used by the 'real' Baoyu and Daiyu. However, by discarding those two identities and deciding to just be Hong Lu, the fiction of his existence becomes the truth, while his former real selves become not real.

Conclusion?

I could honestly just keep going with this post, but I think I'm going to stop myself here before I'm forced to find out what tumblr's character limit on posts is. Believe me, I was trying to be brief, and still this post is. This fucking long.

I hope this explains why this theory has been the subject of my brainrot for the past however long, and why I feel like it's surprisingly plausible despite being as deranged as it is.

Godspeed and godbless, I have classes tomorrow and I'm spending my time on this.

[rey-jake-therapist]

What's the deal with Sauron and children ?

There seems to be something we don't know, about Sauron and children. Among Haladriels we often joke/hc that Sauron wants to have children with Galadriel and that's why it's a recurring theme. But in all seriousness, we may ask : what are the writers not telling us ?

It started in Numenor, where we saw Sauron smile giddily at the sight of little girls running.

I'm sure many still think : "he was putting on a show for Galadriel". Ok but Galadriel herself didn't smile when she watched them, she just looked at them with indifference. And it's not necessarily a human thing to smile at the sight of children, many humans don't care for them.

Then there's a scene where Sauron as Halbrand confronted Adar, who asked him if he had hurt someone he loved, adding, "A woman ? Perhaps, a child ?".

Galadriel may have noticed that Halbrand seemed particularly tense when he asked if it was a child, because she told Adar, "eat your tongue".

Tbf, it's likely that this scene was just a red herring. The audience still had to believe that Halbrand was a man, and that he had a good reason to want Adar dead. Adar firmly believed he had killed Sauron at this point, so there could be only one reason for Halbrand to be so angry at him, aka he took someone he loved away from him. What I mean is that Adar asking him this question made very much sense, at the moment.

But the reference to children came back in season 2, when Sauron had a vision of little girls running in the vision he had first created for Celebrimbor. It could also, again, mean nothing, because this vision was for Celebrimbor, a make believe to hide him the fact that Eregion was under attack. But someone, I don't know who, noticed something interesting when they put the gif of the Numenor girls on top of the gif of the mind palace girls.

Do you see it ? How the kids in the second seem to continue the Numenor kids' running ?

It may mean absolutely *nothing*. And yet I find interesting that the writers chose to associate Sauron with kids not just once, or even twice, but three times.

Could it mean that at some point, when he was in Numenor, Sauron seriously considered the idea of settling down there, of founding a family and liviving as a human being ? He was in a repentance phase and had, in his own words, "given up" any idea of fixing the damages he had done after Adar betrayed him and turned him into powerless goo, so I don't think it's too far-fetched to imagine that he could have genuinely wanted to settle down, to blend with the crowd.

Or could it be, as @apoloadonisandnarcissus suggested to me, that Sauron associates children with the concept of innocence, an innocence he himself lost when Morgoth corrupted him ?

Saurbrand told Galadriel, about Numenor, that it was "a paradise rife with opportunities". The vision of Eregion he showed Celebrimbor had everything of a paradise. Even after Celebrimbor got back to work and was no longer here to see the vision, Sauron remained for a few minutes in his illusion, contemplating it.

It didn't escape Haladriel shippers' attention that the girl was a sort of Galadriel lookalike, and that his lover, whose face remained unseen, may have expressed Sauron's own doubts regarding his capacity to perfect/heal Middle-Earth without Galadriel and her light.

That said, neither the idea of having a family, nor the association of children with innocence, can be related to what Adar did to him. Adar definitely didn't kill a child of his (and it would be dangerously lore-breaking to claim that Sauron ever had a kid, because Maiars are supposed to be forever bound to their physical form once they conceived), and he isn't the one who stole his innocence either. Adar is the one whose innocence was stolen by both Morgoth and Sauron, actually.

So now it's your turn : do you have any idea about this ? If yes, please share :)

[petew21-blog]

Best tutor ever

Jimmy, 23 y.o., law student

Jimmy struggled at university, because of his model side job. He really loved it, but he also wanted to be a great lawyer.

Eventually his parents found out. His father was furious and got one of the law professors Harrison to tutor Jimmy.

Although the professor didn't really like Jimmy, he helped him to get better. To improve. And eventually he found out that this young man, he assumed was just another jock, was a great young man.

They always went over the study materials and then had some bonding time talking about school, politics, their youth.

Jimmy eventually passed all exams needed. He went back to Mr. Harrison to thank him.

They went for a hug

Mr. Harrison:"Oh, Jimmy. I'm so happy. You're gonna be a great lawyer."

Jimmy:"Thank you, Mr. Harrison. You're the reason why I didn't fail. I would like to give you something. What would you like? A bottle of whiskey, vacation to Bahamas, new car? I think I owe you so much for helping me secure my future."

Mr. Harrison:"Slow down. You should only thank yourself. And do not give me anything. I'd desire to be young again as you to enjoy life, but that's not possible. So I'll at least enjoy helping young students like you to achieve their goals."

Jimmy smiled:"Ok, well I'll try to think of something"

Mr. Harrison couldn't sleep properly. It felt as if the night lasted an eternity.

He woke up the next morning. As he was used to, he would always rub his beard in the morning.

But while doing so, his fingers only traced a smooth face.

"What is this?"

His eyes opened. Something happened. He was still in his bed. But he felt different.

He looked at his arms. They were lighter, less hairy. But the skin looked tighter. He touched his left arm with his fingers and squeezed his stronger biceps.

Right at that moment, he noticed his fingers. They were longer, thinner. He knew his hands. He used them everyday at work, for everything. But these were not the hands he knew. They were younger. Different. There were no skin marks, the skin wasn't cracked. It looked young.

He looked down and noticed his lean chest. He used to be slim when he was young, but the stress from work made him gain weight and get that dad body. But this was a surprising change. His fingers traced his chest over the shirt.

Next was his belly. He was used to not be able to put some clothes over his belly. Not even being able to see his penis over it. But he even had ABS now!

He pushed away the covers. He uncovered his legs. He was so skinny now. The legs were longer than his. His legs were hairy

His knees didn't hurt. He was taken back by all of this happening.

He headed to the bathroom. He was surprised by a reflection of a young handsome man. He saw some resemblance with his younger self, but this body was different. He never had long hair.

He couldn't keep his new hands of his face, examining every part, every ridge of his face.

He still couldn't believe that this was happening. He was young again! His chin was so smooth! He was falling in love with his new appearenc.

He took of his shirt. His eyes fixated on his abs. On his nipples. His body had so many birthmarks.

He found his son's tighter shirt that would fit him better. Thanfully no one was home today. He would have a lot of trouble explaining how all ofnthi happened.

Even putting clothes on was a new surprisinf experience, it was so erotic for him to just brush over his body everytime he accidentally touched himself.

"I look amazing!" he said to his reflection

"Wow. This is my new voice. Hi, I'm Mr. Harrison. I'm young. I am young again!"

His phone vibrated. It was Jimmy.

Mr. Harrison:"Hello?"

Jimmy:"Hello there. How are you enjoying your new gift?"

Mr. Harrison:"Did you do this? How is this possible?"

Jimmy:"Don't worry about that. You wanna come celebrate with me? We could go to a beach to show of our bodies. You got long hair like me, don't you?"

Mr. Harrison:"Yeah. Well... ok. I think I'll go. But wait, Jimmy. What if I run into someone from my family?"

Jimmy:"Don't worry about it. I made sure that you'll get to enjoy everything. See you at the beach!"

Jimmy hanged up the phone. He went to his son's room and grabbed his swimshorts and a towel. He rushed down the stairs and took his son's shoes. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. He was ready to go, but someone spoke up behind him.

"Going somewhere?"

Mr. Harrison turned around to face an older man. He was wearing glasses, had a beard... fuck... he kind of looked like his old self. But not entirely. His eyes were different. His nose smaller. Almost as... Oh no.

Mr. Harrison:"Elijah?!"

Elijah:"Since when are you calling your father by his first name? You wanna tell me where you're headed?" He said as he sipped his morning coffee.

Mr. Harrison couldn't believe what he was seeing. His son was now old and he was young. "Beach... I'm heading to... the beach"

Elijah:"Are you ok, young man?"

Mr. Harrison:"Yeah, sorry. I... have to go... I'll be home soon. Bye."

Elijah sipped his coffee again and dialed a phone number.

"Hey. Haha. Yeah, we talked. He's confused. But don't tell him yet. Let him be confused for a while. He doesn't need to know we made a deal. He really deserves being young. Oh and try to get him to experiment. You know, he never got the chance to explore his sexuality when he was young. Ok, great. Have a great day, Jimmy."

Another anonymous story from Inbox 😊

What about a story were a really geeky teacher/professor ends up tutoring a kid and as a reward the teacher/professor is tranformed into a person the kids age.

Screenshots directly form the short f2m body swap movie on YouTube: Soliloquy of Morgan. Check it out :)

[thedream14]

I really love the idea of ​​Logan assuming that Wade has always been a mutant, only to find out in some random way that Wade was actually a “fail” experiment.

In his home universe, Wade Wilson was a human with extraordinary physical abilities and reflexes, but not a mutant. So, upon seeing his face for the first time in the Void, Logan automatically assumed that this variant of Wilson was definitely a mutant. Besides, it made sense that he wasn't a human. Deadpool could survive literally anything.

(superrrr Angst/Fluff stuff over here)

****

The prompt would go something like this:

One day, while walking through Central Park, they came across a small exhibition of mutant artists. This caught Logan's attention, as he has always openly supported any kind of mutant project.

Without explanation, he dragged Wade towards the exhibition. From the beginning, Logan could notice Wade's nervousness and discomfort. He had become strangely rigid in his movements and for once… He shut up voluntarily.

Feeling a little weird with his partner's attitude, Logan decided to get away from the crowd with Wade. Once in a more private place he asked:

- Ok… Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong with ya, bub ?

- Ahhhh nothing, noopeee, nada !

- You know that I can tell that you are lying, right? Like literally I can Smell it all over you…

- Well… It's pointless really… like really dumb. You don’t have to worry about it…

- Quit the bullshit, mouth! If it was a “dumb” thing, you wouldn't be like this. You didn't even comment on one of the paintings with a fucking tennis ball on it

- Gagged ! No pun intended.

- You fucking idiot - Snikt!

- Ok ok relax !!! Pull the kitty claws away…

- I swear, I never thought I'd say this, but starts talking Wade…

- Ok, it's just that... I felt a little out of place. All those mutants… like everybody was happy and talking to each other, I don't know... It's not that I have anything against mutants, of course not, I support the cause. I fuck with all the equal rights for mutants and stuff… it's just that, I don't know... I felt like I shouldn't be there... Also, what if you were recognized, Peanut? Then your community would associate you with me and let's be honest, almost nobody wants that... Nobody wants to be seen with lil old Deadpool, imma right?

Logan is a man of few words. He has always kept control of his thoughts and actions. There are very few times when he decides to remain silent, simply because his mind has gone blank. This is one of those times.

- Hey !!! Earth calling Wolvie… are you okay? Holy shit I think I talked too much again… Look, I’m reeeeeeally sorry…

- What the actual Fuck…

- Excuse me… what?

- Like What the actual Fuck, Wade… I don’t understand. How can you feel out of place among your own people? And what is all that shit about me being seeing with you?

After Seeing his partner's worried face, Logan decided to be a little gentler with his words. He didn't want to close the opportunity of communication between them. Also, Logan didn’t want to make him feel even more insecure.

He really didn't understand the situation and wanted to know what’s going through his lover mind. Soooo with an extreme delicacy, he grabbed his partner's hand and with a sweet gesture, he commented:

- Ok… Princess, don’t worry. I just… want to understand you. Please walk me through it…

- I mean… If you ask that kindly - Respond Wade with a small smile. - Like I told you, I don’t feel welcome between mutants at all… Like the X-men didn’t want me close…

- Fuck the X-men! If they don't want you around, it doesn't mean that any other mutant will feel good in your company. I love your company. As mutants we have to watch our backs together…

- Wait wait wait… I truly loveeee all this sweet speech of yours, I truly am… but peanut… Their is a detail. I’m not a mutant… or at least, I wasn’t born as one… you knew that, right? Righttt ???

Again, mind blank. This is a record, Logan should treat Wade with an ice cream as a reward.

- Ok… Well, I guess you didn't know

- How?

- Excuse me, love… How what exactly?

- How you become one? I mean… you are saying that you aren’t a mutant. Then what happened?

- Ohhh Peanut, buckle up for a sappy Origen story !!!

To say that Logan was not prepared for the story would be an overstatement. He had no words to describe the pain that was crossing his heart.

Logan could empathize with Wade's suffering, but fail to assimilate the fear and hopelessness that Wade probably felt in those darker times. It’s not easy to accept the end of the road when you have loved ones around you.

- And like I told you, I'm not exactly welcome anywhere… I'm not human enough to be well regarded on the streets and I'm not mutant enough to play nice with the X-Men and their little joy club. It's not like I want to be with them either... They're all idiots who can kiss my disfigured fucking ass ... But I'd be lying if I told you I wouldn't like to belong somewhere... I don't like feeling lost, Logan. That’s why I take good care of my family… That’s why I try to take a good care of you…

- Wade… I…

- Nope, no words Peanut. It’s ok. I’m used to it. I… I just need time. Besides, I don't want to cause you any trouble. Like I said, I want you to be happy. I don't want any doors to be closed to you because of me. I would hate myself even more if you were excluded because of me. That's why I'm worried that you'll be seen with me in such a public way…. I love you and I want the best for you, Logan…

- Wade… This is too much… I

- Ohhhh I’m sorry… I don’t want to be overwhelming… I just…

- No… It’s not that… It’s too much to process… I… Wade, I love you… I truly love you. I’m not good with words, but I could tell you how much I love you and how much I love and crave your company. I don’t give a fuck about anybody else… I want you by my side all the time.

- Ohhh Peanut, it’s ok…

- No, it’s not ok. Stop it. It’s not ok what you been through. It’s not fucking ok how you being treated and I swear to god, it’s not ok how you been excluded by the people that was supposed to help you… So fuck it ! Fuck them ! Fuck all of them !!! We don’t need them, princess !!! We are better without them !

- Come Logan, don’t say that ! That’s why I didn’t want to tell you…

- No, Wade. Don’t ever lie to me about this things. We are partners, lovers, whatever you want to call us. We are together. If you are not welcome, neither I am.

With even a greater gentleness, Logan released Wade's hands to hold his face. His eyes were tearful with emotion.

At that moment, Logan remembered how beautiful the love of his life truly was. He also made a promise to himself, he would never let anyone hurt Wade again.

- I need you to engrave this inside your head my princess, I would never be ashamed of loving you. Of holding your hands, kissing your face and hugging your body. I will never regret chosen you !

Immediately, Logan ended that promise of love with a sweet and slow kiss.

Wade did not deserve to be an open secret. Wade was his mutant lover and no one could change that fact.

***

I was cooking this in my sleepless nights… I need to rest, but my insomnia is severe and F up…

I hope you liked this 🤯

[lemotmo]

Ok I need your and Ali’s thoughts on some of these Ryan interviews because like I fully get not spoiling things. I do.

But I’m confused how even with that in mind we’ve suddenly gone from gender neutral terms and whatnot to being back in brother and heterosexual and maybe another girlfriend for Eddie hell.

Like there’s not spoiling stuff and then there’s just absolutely crushing out any future hope. And the massive massive course correction by Ryan seems like over kill if it’s just to not spoil things.

Actually...

When I watched the episode earlier, I immediately checked if Ali had contacted me about it and these were her words:

"Even the jurno who did the interview didn't believe it when he said it. And all the jurnos pretty much agreed the last scene kind of felt like a beginning of some kind.

I do think they're going the slow burn route. It kind of sounds like Buck's going to get to have a little bit of single fun while Eddie continues to do his thing."

The journalists themselves are telling people that actors and showrunners lie as to not to spoil the story. This has happened plenty of times on 911 and many other shows for that matter.

The fact that Ryan used gender neutral terms at the end of season 7 might have had to do with the fact that he had no idea how fast his story was going to evolve. I think him and Oliver have finally got a timeline now of when all of this is going to go down.

If this is going the slow burn route, which is highly likely, they need to talk about where their characters are NOW. Not where they are going to be within 8 episodes.

And right now Buck has been broken up with and is single, so he might explore that. Mind you, we don't know if this is true. Just because Oliver would like that, doesn't mean it will happen.

Right now Eddie is finally ready to move on and explore himself. We'll have to wait and see how that manifests itself. But in Eddie's mind, Buck is his best friend right now, nothing more. He can't see it yet.

There is literally no other way for this story to go anymore. Buck's last love interest broke up with him. So he'll be left alone again. Eddie is still single as well, on the road to self-discovery. The show won't have them end up alone like this. It wouldn't make sense in their narratives, since all they've been doing is looking for happiness in the wrong places. They need to realise that happiness has been right there all along. It's been staring them in the face for years now. And they'll get it eventually, but it'll take them some time to get there.

Look... I know that I won't be able to convince everyone of all of this, but I am fully convinced at this point.

The Buddie storyline 'officially' launched last night during that last scene. 🤷‍♀️

[act-nat-ural]

g’day! i saw that you're receiving requests: so is it OK to request osamu with his significant other who calls him "ochamu" instead of "osamu" just to get a reaction out of him? sort of like baby talking his name if that makes sense??? i think it's super funny that he might look at you like you're crazy at first then get used to it overtime (atsumu gives him the side eye every single time) 😭

but ofc, this is more of a suggestion if anything ^^ feel free to delete/ignore if it doesn't spark any inspo or you don't have any thoughts on it! ++ i know you wrote abt samu recently so maybe he should wait a little longer to get his turn PFFT. thanks for your time btw! i love your workssss ✨

Baby Talk

note: I love your brain omg- this was so fun to write lol. Hope you like it!!!

“Ochamuuu, pay attention to me.”

The moment the word ‘Ochamu’ was uttered from your lips, Osamu did not react positively. Sitting on the other side of the sofa, you see his lip curl in disgust. The side eye directed towards you was lethal.

 “What. Was. That.” 

 It was hard, but you managed to hold your giggles in. You pull the most innocent face you can and say, “What do you mean, Ochamu?”

He immediately gags and puts his hand out at you. “Oh my god. No. Babe, what the fuck.” He's looking at you like you grew a second head. You laugh and punch his arm. 

“What? What did I do?” He raises his brows and laughs, perplexed.

 “What did ya do? Ya sound stupid. Don't do that again, it was creepy.” 

You giggle again and respond, “I love you, ‘chamu.” His frown gets even deeper as he stands up from the couch and walks away shaking his head.

 “I love you too, but no. Just no.”

–

“Ochamu, pass the salt please.” You ask sweetly. He stops mid bite and turns to you unimpressed.

 “Really? This again?” You hum and shrug your shoulders. “I have no idea what you are referring to, my dear husband.” He gives a small smile and resumes eating. 

“Now that's a nickname I can get behind. The other one, not so much. How the hell did ya come up with that anyway?” He questions, finally handing you what you asked for. 

“I honestly don’t know. I think it came to me in a dream or something.” You gasp. “It was a message from a higher power. Ochamu is your destined nickname, I'm sure of it.” He lets out a little chuckle at that and places a kiss on your cheek.

 “Sure, whatever. If it keeps you entertained, I'll allow it.”

–

“Ochamu, have you seen my brush?” You inquire as you pop your head out of the bathroom. He's sitting on your bed, scrolling through his phone. 

Without looking up, he answers, “It's on the dresser, baby.” You bite back a smile. 

“Not a single comment this time, huh?” He blinks and glances up at you. 

“What do ya mean?”

You let out a shocked laugh. “Wha- you didn’t even notice?! I used that nickname you hate.” He groans and throws a pillow at you. “Yer usin’ it too damn much! Messin’ with my head!” He huffs and crosses his arms. You roll your eyes and move to sit down next to him. 

“Admit you like the baby talk.” He gives you another dose of side eye.

 “I’d rather not.”

–

You, Osamu, and Atsumu had all decided to go grocery shopping for dinner ingredients. Rather, you and Osamu were, and Atsumu tagged along because he was bored. Osamu was in charge of the list, Atsumu was pushing the cart, and you were the one grabbing the ingredients. You were walking aisle to aisle, taking your time, while Atsumu was grumbling like a bored child.

“Ochamu, what's next on the list?” He opens his mouth to respond but gets cut off.

“Ew, what the hell?” Atsumu makes a grossed out face and does a barfing motion. “Yer such a weirdo! ‘Samu, ya let her call ya that?!” Osamu scoffs and takes your hand, leaving Atsumu behind. 

“Yer just jealous yer single. Scrub.” You can still hear Atsumu squawking when you get to the next aisle.

[waruihoshi]

FINALLY made my own design for my boyyyy little explanations of some details under the cut hehe

So yea the design is mostly G1 BUT

Took me a WHILE to figure out if I wanted to go with the G1 mask/visor shape or the ones like in the comics........ and I managed to draw it pretty well and it suited him.........

but hey I sticked with G1 in the end because that's how I imagined him. Maybe it'll change in the future who knows ! I DID keep the marks on the cheeks like on the idw versions tho >:) because this boi has some of the idw lore.

Most soundwave designs don't have enough SPEAKERSSSS HES A RADIO AND TAPE PLAYER HE NEEDS THESE. The canon shoots lasers but he has speakers on his shoulders + hand palms because i absolutely LOVE how he attacks with that in Cyberverse and Earthspark so hehe it's mine now.

The legs ..... well I wanted to give that guy boots ok. but without it being too much like starscream. Transformers prime kiiiinda had something like that with the feet/heel general shape going on which I loved ? also the white plaques on the front of the legs are in my mind a mix between g1 and cyberverse.

Oh and finally. Yellow visor soundwave for the win >:)

[salternateunreality2]

AGSZC when their SO/roommate/friend is sick with a stomach bug:

Angeal:

Hon? Can I get you anything? I have leftover bones to make stock, it may be a bit (24 hours minimum), but that's the best thing for you. Here, have some vaporub. No, I don't care that you don't have clogged sinuses. Rub it on your elbow to stimulate the healing nerve. Yes, it makes perfect sense.

You don't need fancy drugs, chew on this ginger root. Have some tea. My mother swears by these potato skins, put them in your socks. No, not my biological mother, she was a scientist; the mother in my soul. No, not like Sephiroth's, she recommends bloodshed.

No, it's not my fault I save any and all food scraps; you know your stomach is more delicate than mine. If you're concerned, leave it for me and I will eat it.

Sephiroth:

Loyally hangs around looking like a sad wet kitten on your behalf. He doesn't know what to do, because no one mothered him as a child. He won't get sick, he's certain, so he WOULD be happy to sit there and rub your back while you throw up and cry, but somehow he always gets an important call as soon as the horrible retching noises start.

He does come back in, calls Angeal, and follows only his most sensible directions. He's happy to get whatever you need, put a wet cloth on your forehead, and SIT THERE STARING AT YOU UNBLINKINGLY BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOOO.

Cloud:

Uh, sorry you're feeling bad, um...*dumps a huge pile of as many snacks and drinks as he can afford outside your door* Let me know if you, uh, need anything.

*Hangs around, but not very close, checking every now and then to make sure you're still alive*

Zack:

If he's not also violently ill because he ate more of whatever it was or got more up close and personal with whoever was sick...

He's popping in every 5 seconds until you beg him to stop, at which point he calls Angeal for recipes, makes EVERY SINGLE THING recommended, then offers them all to you. You will be eating soup and ginger root for weeks.

He's also surprisingly patient and tender, once he gets past that first round of excitement. He cleans your bucket, bathes your face, feeds you crackers, and inevitably comes down with it because he can't stop cuddling you to make you feel better.

Genesis:

*screeching sounds of his boots burning rubber as he flees at the first retching noise*

He calls you on the phone, asks if you're ok, talks you through things, reads you bedtime stories, sings to you, orders a special medical basket from the most expensive boutique nursing center, hires a nurse for you, and STAYS THE HELL AWAY.

If you cry and say you miss him so much, he might (might) show up like this:

and hold your hand. Because he's a sweetheart like that.

[canirove]

The invinsible princess | Chapter 9

“Leo”

Author’s note: And we've made it to the end! Thank you very much to everyone who has read this story, supported it, for all your nice words and messages (they mean a lot) and of course, thank you to the anon who inspired it all! 💜 Hope you like this last chapter, and hopefully seen you soon with more Pedri 😊

Chapter 8

Masterlist

“Fuck the protocol”

“What did it do to you know?” I laugh.

“Making me wear this stupid suit and this stupid bow tie” Pedri says, struggling to tie it. “I hate it.”

“Then let me help… Shit.”

“Sofía, are you ok?” he says, quickly showing up at my side.

“I'm fine, don't worry. It's just that standing up at almost nine months pregnant isn't as easy as some people may think.”

“Ok, come here” he says, putting his arm around my waist and helping me get up from my chair.

“Thank you, Pedri.”

“Anything for you, my lady” he smiles.

“Now, let me see that bow tie.”

“It is a pain in the ass” he sighs. 

“A pain in the ass is having to wear high heels for hours. Or having to wear high heels while carrying a child inside you that is pushing against your bladder and making you want to pee every five minutes.”

“This is nothing compared to all that, true” he chuckles. “You women are amazing, you know? The world would go to hell without you.”

“Oh, we are very aware of that, trust me. Why are you smiling like that?” I say while struggling to make his bow tie look good.

“I was just thinking about something you said the day we met.”

“That I like men with interesting noses?”

“Nope, something else. It has to do with this thing in your head.”

“What?” 

“Your tiara. The day we met I asked you if didn't all princesses wear crowns, and you told me that if you were lucky maybe one day you would get to wear a tiara for a royal wedding or something like that, and here you are now. This is the first time I'm seeing you wearing one.”

“And probably the last since I only have one sister and this will hopefully be the only time she gets married.”

“What if I buy you one?”

“What?” I chuckle.

“I like the way it looks on you. It really suits you.”

“Because I am the queen of your heart?” I tease him.

“That too” he winks. “But I could get you a simple one that isn't one hundred years old and a family heirloom. Something you could wear if I organised you a fancy dinner at home or something like that.”

“Oh, it would look so nice with my pjs.”

“Of course it would. You can make anything look good, my lady” he smirks.

“You are such a flatterer, Pedri González” I laugh.

“And you love it.”

“A bit, yes. And this is done” I say when I finish with his bow tie. 

“How do I look?” he says, taking a step back and doing a twirl.

“Gorg… fuck!”

“Sofía! Sofía, are you ok? What is it? Is it the baby?” he says as he helps me sit down. 

“It was something like a cramp, but it has passed, I'm fine.”

“Sofia, you were in pain. What if something happened? What if…”

“What if what?”

“What if the baby is coming?” Pedri says.

“That's not possible. It is too soon and…”

“Let me go call Carlos.”

“No!” 

“Sofía, you are hurting. I can see it in your face and feel it on the way your nails are digging in my arm.”

“Sorry. I'm sorry” I say, letting go of him. “But I'm fine, don't call anyone.”

“Sofía, you may be in labour.”

“May be, exactly. We don't know for sure, and I'm actually starting to feel better.”

“Sofía…”

“It was a false alarm, Pedri. I'm feeling much better, I…”

“Sofía!” he says, catching me when I try to get up and suddenly start feeling dizzy. “That's it, I'm calling Carlos.”

“Pedri, I told you I'm fine.”

“You are not, Sofía. Stay there and don't move.”

“I can't! My sister is about to get married, I can't miss her wedding!” I say, trying to get up again.

“Sit down, Sofía” Pedri says, looking the most serious I've ever seen him.

“Urgh” I groan, doing as he asks. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“The doctor is here, ma'am” Carlos says.

“You've called him for nothing, Pedri. I'm fine.”

“Sofía, can you please stop being so stubborn?” he says, rolling his eyes.

“It's the truth! I'm… I'm fine.”

“Of course you are.”

“Your royal highness” the doctor says when he walks into the room. “What happened?”

“Sofía may be in labour.”

“I'm not, Pedri. I'm fine. We should be on our way to the cathedral to see my sister get married instead of being here wasting everyone's time” I say, struggling to get up from the bed where Pedri had forced me to move after I got another really bad cramp.

“Doctor, can you please help me here?” Pedri sighs.

“Ma’am, you are almost nine months pregnant, you could be in labour. And your husband only worries about you and the baby, he wants you both to be safe.”

“I know.”

“Then let the doctor check you, Sofía” Pedri says, sitting on the bed next to me. “Please.”

“I… fine” I say, finally giving up. “I can't never say no to you when you are looking at me with those big brown eyes of yours and then add a pout.”

“A pout with my lips made to kiss and be kissed?” he smirks.

“And now you add that smile! You are using all my weaknesses against me, Pedri. That's cheating!”

“Sorry” he shrugs. “I just worry about you, Sofía. About both of you” he says, caressing my bump. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you too.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Sofía!” my mum says, storming into the room. “Sofía, are you alright? And the baby?”

“We are fine, mum.”

“But they told me the doctor came to check on you!”

“He did.”

“And?”

“And looks like the little one didn't want to miss auntie Leonor's wedding” I chuckle.

“What?”

“I'm labour, mum.”

“Already? And what are you doing here? Why aren't you in the hospital?”

“Because it still is too soon.”

“Is it?” she asks, looking at Pedri.

“It…”

“Sofía!” Leonor says, coming into the room just as my mum just did. “Oh my God, Sofía. Are you ok? And the baby?”

“We both are fine. But wow, Leonor. You look…. Wow” I say. Because she's showed up wearing her wedding dress, her tiara and everything else. “Max’s jaw is gonna be on the floor the moment he sees you” I smile, remembering what she and Irene had said about Pedri before our wedding.

“I hope so” she replies, also smiling. “But are you sure you are ok?”

“I'm fine. For now.”

“What?”

“She's in labour” my mum says.

“Already? Isn't it too early?”

“My due date is in a couple of weeks, but the doctor said that there is no need to worry and that it can happen. I'm just so sad I'm gonna miss your wedding… I wanted to be there with you.”

“Don't worry about that now, you can always watch it on tv. What matters is that you both are ok.”

“We are. We will be.”

“I'll make sure of it” Pedri says.

“You both look so calm” Leonor laughs.

“We look calm now. Twenty minutes ago we were yelling at each other because your sister here is the most stubborn person I've ever met.”

“Yet you love me” I smile.

“With all my heart” he smiles back.

“Aww… cute” Leonor says. 

“Very cute, but you and mum should get going. I know it is usual for the bride to be late, but not this late, and I don't want poor Max thinking that you are leaving him standing in the altar.”

“She's right” our mum says. “I left your dad alone with your grandmother and he must be driving her crazy. Or vice versa. But Sofía, I can stay with you if you want.”

“Pedri's mum already is on her way, don't worry. I'll be in good hands until you can free yourself from your queen and mother of the bride duties.”

“I know you will, but... Are you sure?”

“I am. Now go, c'mon.”

“Ok, ok. No need to kick us like that” Leonor chuckles. “I love you, little sis” she says while hugging me. “You can do this.”

“Love you too, big sis. And you can also do this. Getting married in front of the whole world, I mean.”

“No pressure there, uh?” she sighs. “But thank you.”

“Keep us updated on everything, ok?” my mum says when it is her turn to hug me. “I'll leave as soon as I'm allowed to, and if the baby can't wait, I'll run away, I don't care.”

“Fuck the protocol?” I laugh.

“That wording is a bit offensive, but yes, that's basically it” she smiles. “I love you, Sofía.”

“Love you too, mum.”

“Well…” Pedri says, sitting down on the bed next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders while I rest my head on his. “It is happening.”

“It is, yes.”

“Are you scared?” he asks, kissing my head.

“A bit, yes. You?”

“I'm shitting myself.”

“Please tell me this time you aren't being literal like at our wedding” I laugh.

“Not yet.”

“Eww, Pedri!” I laugh again. 

“Sorry, I'm sorry. But even if I'm scared, I know you can do this, Sofía. I believe in you.”

“Thank… you.”

“Another contraction?”

“Yes” I nod. “And this one hurt a lot more than the last one.”

“Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe one of those massages they taught us?”

“That may be useful later. For now being like this is just enough” I say, curling up against him. 

“I can't believe we will be becoming parents in hopefully just a few hours” he says, his fingers caressing my arm, making me relax. “It feels like yesterday when we were talking in that corridor in Germany, shamelessly flirting with each other.”

“It does feel like it, doesn't it? But you know, if I got to relieve that moment, I would always choose to follow you outside the party.” 

“Because you couldn't wait to get rid of your dad and his friends telling the same anecdotes all over again?”

“That too” I chuckle. “But also because maybe, just maybe…” I say, lifting my head from his shoulder and looking at him. “I also had a little crush on you.”

“Wait, really? It wasn't just me?”

“I mean, you had a proper crush on me, Pedri. Mine was starting after watching you at the Euros, and it didn't stop until I fell head over heels in love with you. It hasn't stopped, to be honest.”

“Do I still make you feel butterflies in your stomach?” he smiles.

“Every single day. And I hope it never stops. I love you, Pedri.”

“I love you too… my lady” he says before kissing me. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Knock, knock. Can we come in?”

“Leonor?” I say when I see her at the door of my hospital room, Max standing behind her. “What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting after yesterday?”

“I should, yes. But turns out that my little sister also gave birth, and I couldn't wait to see her and meet my nephew” she says, coming to my bed and hugging me. “How are you, Sofía?”

“Good. Sore and tired, but good. And really happy. You?”

“Extremely hungover” she chuckles. “But tell me, how did it go? Is what mum told me true and he let you watch the wedding?”

“Yep” I nod. “During the ceremony everything was pretty smooth, but once it ended, he said: auntie Leonor already had her moment, now is my turn.”

After she and my mum left, things had been quite calm. Both Pedri and I had had time to get changed, eat something, chat, and in my case, bawl my eyes out while watching the wedding on tv. But the moment Max and Leonor got into the car and started saying hello to all the people gathered on the streets, everything changed. My contractions started to become more painful and frequent, and when the doctor came to check me again, he said it was time to go to the hospital, the little one joining us just a couple of hours later.

“How did he do?” Leonor asks me, nodding towards Pedri. He is standing next to the window, the baby in his arms. 

“He started crying the moment the doctor said the head was out, and then didn't stop. At one point his mum even worried he was going to end up dehydrated” I chuckle.

“I didn't cry that much, don't listen to her” he says.

“He did” I whisper. “But other than that, he's been amazing” I smile while looking at him caressing the baby's cheek and whispering something to him. 

I thought I couldn't love Pedri more than I already did, that it was impossible to fall in love with him more than I already was. But every time I see him with the baby, with our son, I actually do it. I fall even more in love with him, my heart feeling like it is about to burst out of happiness and love.

“You are the one who is amazing, Sofía. Look at him” he says, kissing the baby's head. “I can't believe he is real. That he is my son.”

“Can't you? Haven't you seen all that hair?” Max chuckles. 

“I haven't” Leonor says, getting up from my bed and moving to where they are standing. “Oh my God, Sofía. He is perfect! And definitely Pedri's son, yes” she smiles, caressing his head. 

“Do you want to hold him?” Pedri tells her. 

“I… I don't know. Babies aren't my thing.”

“C'mon, Leonor. You are his auntie and godmother, you have to get used to it” I say.

“Wait, his godmother? Me?”

“Yeah. Who else?” 

“I don't know… Irene, perhaps? You've always been super close.”

“We have. But she isn't my sister, you are. And since Fer is going to be his godfather…” I shrug.

“I… I don't know what to say, guys. Thank you.”

“You're welcome. Now put your hand here” Pedri says, helping her hold the baby. “There, perfect. Little one, meet your auntie Leonor. Leonor, meet your nephew Leo.”

“Wait, Leo? Aren't you naming him Carlos?” she says.

“That was a little white lie” I smile. “We wanted to surprise you.”

“Me? Why?”

“Because we've named him after you.”

“What?” she says, looking from me to Pedri, then at the baby in her arms, and then back at me.

“I mean, if you don't like it, we can always say we named him after Messi since he is my idol” Pedri shrugs.

“No, we won't!” I say.

“I was just teasing you, my lady” he winks. “That story we told everyone about naming the baby Carlos as some kind of homage to him because he had been key in our love story and we wouldn't be here without him, was just a lie because we wanted to surprise you and we didn't want anyone ruining it” Pedro smiles.

“But… but…” Leonor mumbles. “What about Fer? You could have named him after him too.”

“We already have two in the family, we don't need another one. Besides, how would we call him? F?” he chuckles. “Leo is perfect. And not because that's Messi’s name” he says, looking at me.

“I… I don't know what to say, I… Thank you, guys.”

“Aww, Leonor” Max says, wiping away her tears since her hands are busy holding Leo.

“This is the best wedding gift ever, guys. Thank you” she says, managing to free one arm to hug Pedri. “Thank you, Sofía” she says, coming to the bed to also hug me. “I love you.”

“I love you too” I reply, hugging her back.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Ready, my lady?” Pedri says, giving my hand an encouraging squeeze. 

“Ready” I say, taking a deep breath before the hospital doors open and we walk outside, the reporters and photographers waiting for us already shouting.

“Your royal highness, how are you?” one of them asks me when we stop in front of them.

“I'm well, very happy. Thank you for asking” I smile.

“And the father? How is he feeling?”

“Also very happy” Pedri says.

“Why Leo?” another reporter asks.”It isn't a very royal name.”

“He is named after my sister Leonor” I explain. “So it is a royal name.”

“Awww…” a bunch of them say. 

“Who does he look like?”

“Everyone says he is a mini me” Pedri chuckles, moving the blanket I have wrapped around Leo so they can see him better.

“Oh, he definitely has your hair” the reporter says.

“He does, yes” he says, caressing Leo's head. “Though I think he's gotten his mother's character.”

“How so?”

“Well, he is just a couple of days old, and he is quite stubborn already. Like his mum.”

“Pedri!” I say, elbowing in the ribs while the reporters just laugh. 

“Do you think he may have gotten your talent? That we may have the first royal football player in history?”

“We actually do. You should have seen the way he kicked me before he was born” I laugh. 

“We should start getting his room ready at La Masía, then” one of the reporters says.

“He may already have it” Pedri smirks, making them all laugh again.

“Ma'am, we should get going” Carlos says behind me.

“Oh, yes. Thank you very much for coming, guys. And for all your good wishes too, it means a lot.”

“One last photo, ma'am. Ma'am!” the photographers say as we move towards our car, both Pedri and Carlos escorting me.

“We did it” Pedri says once we are inside the car.

“We did it, yes.”

“Ready for what is ahead, my lady?” he says, taking my hand on his and kissing it. “Now the hard work begins.”

“I know. But I also know I can do it. That we can do it. As long as we are together, we can do anything.”

“I mean, I managed to teach you how to dance without injuring me, didn't I? After that, everything is possible” he smirks.

“You are such an idiot, Pedri González” I say, hitting his arm.

“Yet you love me, my lady” he replies.

“More and more every day” I smile before resting my head on his shoulder as the car starts moving, the new chapter of our lives ahead of us. 

━━━━❃━━━━ FIN ━━━━❃━━━━

[newkatzkafe2023]

Not sure if this is your inbox but I'm really new to Tumblr and don't use it often but anyways if it's ok with you can you do all wukongs with mommy dearest reader and fem ruv reader from fnf/Friday night funking?

Ohhhhhhhhhh Ruv is my favorite FnF character 🇷🇺🤩

(Lmk Wukong) Yooo, he met you when your booming voice shook his entire mountain, He thought it was an earthquake😱. He went to find the source of the sounds and found a pretty purple Russian monkey, with the vocal cords that can be heard even in the celestial realm. Wukong was shocked by your interesting but glass shattering little quirk of yours and wonders if it affects your way of talking or yelling at the Matter. Though right now he needs you to keep it down, he's trying to sleep😴 😓😣

(MKR Wukong) HE IMMEDIATELY ASSUMED HE WAS UNDER ATTACK🤣🤣🤣, because he woken right out of his sleep from what felt like a giant earthquake. The camp was shaken scarying the crap out of the monk and pigsy, and startled sandy out of his own sleep fruity got scared and hid in his shirt. Wukong quickly went to find the potential threat in the woods they were in, but what he wasn't expecting was to see a very light purple monkey. When Wukong found you he had to fight a blush and demanded an explanation as to why you attacked them, until you told him that you were just singing. Making his jaw dropped on the floor, that just raised further questions!😲

(NR Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh he spotted a pretty Russian monkey at a underground block rave. Your big booming voice literally shaking the stadium as you sung on stage and what's shocking your microphone wasn't even on. After the concert rave Wukong wasted no time coming over to introduce and flirt a little with you and even got little Ole you to blush, and thus the beginning of your relationships with him.😘

(HIB Wukong) Your silence make him wonder what's going on in that little head of yours, you would just sit next to him and watch over the family. You do love him and his children, making it your business to keep an close eye on Luier and Silly girl. Until some demons bandits attack their village and aim to take Luier away, before Wukong and do anything you got infront of them, turned on your microphone and sang your heart out. Which would be weird until you sent a large group of demons flying with just your voice, not to mention Breaking the sound barrier. Hence why Wukong avoids Arguing or disagreeing with you in fear you would get upset and blow his ears out😬😬😬.

(Netflix Wukong) He didn't think too much of you, not in a bad way, but you were just very quiet. You would often just sit on the sidelines as you watched Wukong act like a fool and battle other demons. One day, you had been watching him train until a group of demons came to provoke and taunt him, which Wukong was rightfully pissed but then suddenly the group was practically sent to orbit by a sonic boom. Wukong slowly looked over and saw you standing there with your mic, now he's wondering if you can teach him how to do that..😐😛🫨

(BMW Wukong) A beautiful woman, with a powerful set of pipes and ohhhhhhhhhh is he interested. He had heard of you from some musicians about you and your Unique Voice and went to one of your concerts, and well apparently not only is your voice the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. It was also the loudest one he's ever heard and he was yelled at by alot of celestials Deities, not to mention your voice shakes the earth to its very core. Like seriously it was felt by him, AND HE'S STANDING ON A CLOUND!!!! now he very intrigued now.

(Destined one) Huh I feel like he's always the quiet one, until something happens and it makes him loud. With that the same goes for you as well which is why you both get along so well with each other. Now he found out about your out of this world rapping voice when he was fighting a Creature and wanted to help your husband so you took your Mike and sang. Which sent the Creature flying back into a large deep crater! The Destined one saw the wrath of a goddess that day!

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG🇷🇺

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Ep 22-23 Commentary

Ha...I was inexplicably nervous for eps 22-23 and it looks like I was right to be (-: What a rollercoaster. Spoilers below!

I've just come out of ep 23 and uh????? holy shit????? ZYC????

Ok ok but to backtrack, let's do my comments semi-chronologically:

Ep 22:

A carry-over from ep 21 that I have to mention—heck yeah PSJ give WZY hell. She doesn't have all that many lines but she sure knows how to make them count. Also seeing PSJ and WX get screen time just the two of them makes my brain go "yay <3"

Back to ep 22, loved the fake-out sundial ayeee that was a nice Chekhov's gun that also brings the real sundial back into relevance for later. Also me eating up the PSJ and ZYC crumb of an interaction has brought to my attention how starved I am of their screen time together.

This whole ep was a great lament towards the feared inevitable. Every sad downcast look from ZYC, every complicated glance WX gives him. A wonderful, terrible crossroads for these characters. I love that for ZYC especially, it's such an incredible mess of emotion coming to a head. Bad enough that he's come to care about the demon who killed his family and ruined his life, bad enough that he's sworn a blood oath he regrets and tied himself to punishing someone he no longer finds culpable, bad enough that ZYZ's life or death depends solely on his choice and ZYZ is constantly practically begging for death when ZYC wants him to live. How much immensely worse it makes the whole situation that WX is literally ZYZ's soulmate. And obviously the whole team has only grown more and more attached to ZYZ, too. ZYC's personal turmoil aside, how heavy must that responsibility and guilt be? For the finishing blow that only he can deliver to also deeply threaten every other person he cares about? Everyone understands in the abstract what must happen and why, but just like seeing ZYZ lose control firsthand, the gulf between understanding and experiencing is so unimaginably wide. If he kills ZYZ, can there really be no resentment from his friends? From WX?

Also it seems ZYC only wears cloaks so that he can give them to other people lmao

Ah fuck, the farewell drinks. I didn't even factor in how ZYC might not survive the encounter (''': The drama truly was like hm can we possibly give ZYC a worse day than that night his whole fam died? Maybe give him a bunch of new family members and also the blade and the fate and the sole responsibility to potentially irrevocably scar said family members with? And he might die in the process too? (-: haha maybe? (((-:

Oh. Oh. Addendum. I forgot this til I saw it mentioned in another post—ZYC recounting his oath as he watched WX smile when they discussed reviving the tree...I could feel him weighing those words against his own life, against ZYZ's life, against WX's happiness. One way out of this impossible situation is indeed to doom himself. I'm in pieces.

Damn if WX isn't dedicated heart and soul, going into the sundial like that. I'm sad no one could keep her company for those 300 years but also I guess that's kind of an impossible ask (and maybe not survivable for the other non-goddess mortals? I'm admittedly very unclear on sundial time loophole logistics). It would have been nice to see someone offer though, even just to be turned down.

Ooh I like the soul needle fake-out, given this show's penchant for retroactive "actually we had a plan all along" moments. A good subversion of the narrative's own style.

Also I saved this for the end because it doesn't really fit the linearity of my comments but what the fuuuuuuuck oh my god I absolutely flipped out at this scene:

I am at once rabidly intrigued and at the same time not sure if I'll be satisfied with whatever payoff will come for this so I don't want to overindulge in theorizing and setting my own expectations too high. Maybe this is just a fevered hallucination, maybe it means nothing (I hope it means something). But damn!!! What a gorgeous man crazy scene.

In conclusion, ep 22 had some good stuff for me. Plot development and reflection and tension enough that I may have been satisfied with just that one episode. But they gave us two, so onward to ep 23 comments!

Ep 23:

I like how many solid reasons the team has to suspect ZYC being possessed. Even though I withheld judgment during my watch given how quickly the show usually confirms that kind of stuff with a possession mark, just simply casting that doubt made the whole build up that much more intense.

ZYC slowly walking down the corridor with the whole grounds lit a somber and haunting gold—*chef's kiss*

ZYC's monologue to a catatonic ZYZ is so important to me. The closest we'll get to his internal monologue about this whole situation. The kinds of things said when we think there's no conscious listener.

Okay so, having finished this episode and looking back, Li Lun's hands coming up from behind ZYC was not to denote possession (at least in this episode), potentially is a visual from ZYZ's POV, and seems related to the above screencap. I am so, so curious. Once again, I'm stopping myself from further speculation because I want to be surprised but ahhhhhhhhh

PSJ shooting at Ao Yin is so gorgeous. Her action scenes seriously never disappoint—the creativity of her fight choreos!! Also very cool that the whole team is getting to take part in the action, not just the two male leads.

Bai Jiu possession was not on my bingo card but I sure do love that we literally saw the possession take place and I still didn't connect the dots. Good shitttt. Also oh no ): ZYC was telling the truth about the soul needle, he was just tricked ):

Seriously from the Ao Yin case to getting PSJ released to reviving the Divine Wood to getting tricked by possessed!Bai Jiu to making pear soup to fighting ZYZ to fighting Li Lun—when will ZYC get a single goddamn vacation day holy shit.

Also when will WX tear up that contract so ZYZ can stop having a mild heart attack every time he wants to kiss her ): &I love that they saved the 300-year montage for this moment. While their ship doesn't give me brainrot personally, who could be unmoved by that incredible and undisclosed sacrifice? That's soulmatism.

Okay, I'd seen clips of them filming the ZYC and Li Lun fight but damn I did not expect it'd be happening right now!! Right after already taking damage from ZYZ? And my god is Li Lun brutal. The two actors did such an impressive job on this entire fight, what with Li Lun's ease and ZYC's suffering. I really appreciated the extensive hand-to-hand combat after Li Lun literally obliterated ZYC's sword. (Also though, given the origin of that sword, I kept hoping for a flashback to ZYC's brother once it broke, but alas, no dice.) Anyway, the show does not play around about ZYC whump it seems. I was very very shook by that throat punch; that shit legitimately looked like it hurt.

Honestly, I had a hard time with the extended ZYZ and Li Lun conversation at the very end because oh my god someone please heal ZYC lmao. But of course, that's the end of the episode~~

Y'all...check on your local ZYC stans because I was not okay after all that (': I need a heaping dose of comfort after all that hurt, but as always I'm cautious of hoping for much from canon itself. So yeah! Ep 23 was solid, but I would probably be in better shape if today's release just ended on ep 22 ((':

Time to go wait for the cast's Hi6 episode to drop so I can heal my battered heart ;-;

[andeptus]

I NEED MORE DN FIC RECOMENDATIONS PLEASE IM STARVING AND YOUR TASTE IS ELITE

God i love recommending fanfics !!! Here are a few of my favourites, under the cut... Apologies they're all Lawlight.

white chocolate roses by ruruka:

Light is a cardiologist and L is his terminally ill patient... Light being a cardiologist fits him so well as a parallel to who he is in. yk. canon.

incredibly beautiful story with an amazing writing style

it's also so funny at times, i'd catch myself giggling

it's my fav Lawlight fanfic. Ever.

Time Speaks by aSmallMoon333:

the plot is the work of a genius

the writing is amazing and overall it's a really beautiful and well thought out story

one of my favourite Lawlight fanfics too. i've drawn fanart of it + a few doodles here and there, i think it really inspires you...

Nights by youremyqueen:

I actually haven't finished reading this one but i've read other works from the author and they never disappoint me !!

i downloaded this one and have been annotating it, it's amazing

it's my friend's favourite Lawlight fanfic and i value her taste a lot so i know what i'm talking about !!

Fingertips by MasterAlgae:

i'm a sucker for whump sorry. Alway have been and will always be...

I followed it while it was still updating and my day was always better when i would receive that silly little email

i loved loved it. One of my favourite Lawlight fanfics...

Angst pain whump... but oh the fluff is good

it also has a sequel !!

You Don't Need to Say It (I Already Know) by vodka_auntle:

Have i mentioned i'm a big fan of whump because i am...

sickfic... i love sickfics so so much

Especially when my fav blorbo is the one who's sick. Yes. suffer, L. Suffer...

it's so domestic and fluffy and arghh i can't get enough of it. I've reread it so many times, it's such a comfort...

sugar and pumpkin spice:

Ok. listen. I'm not a huge fan of coffee shop AUs, but this one - this one is an exception...

someone sent it to me after i finished white chocolate roses and it was a blessing

it's cute and it can cheer you up and it's comforting and... Yeah !!

Light Yagami dinner party by LycanCoffee:

Very creative and philosophical

very character analysis-esque

i have reread it a ton of times actually. It's really good... very underrated too !!

Sinking down by rosade:

character analysis on L throughout the Kira case

it's canon divergent so not entirely accurate to how the story went, naturally

it's a great read !!

A Sugary Hypothesis by Zara_Zara:

So funny and unserious i loved it

i still think about it. At least weekly...

Thank you for this ask !! I obviously have a ton other fanfics i'd like to recommend but we'd be here the whole day...

[oacest]

sister lover which is also his entire existence. it's like ok. ok. noel.

you wrote sister lover.

what about it? you clearly think incest is funny and edgy. you keep making incest jokes. you were obviously just messing around.

and kissing your brother. which is fine it was the nineties. Angelina Jolie carried around a vial of her brother's blood in the nineties. people were just doing rock shock celeb culture stuff. coke didn't have fentanyl in it yet.

oh you have consistently and publicly said you wish your brother had been your sister for like thirty years. while estranged you continue to say this. to the press?

you have. never forgiven him for not being a girl. ok.

well you are a known shit talker. you don't believe half the things you say when you say them and a solid 30% you stop believing within five minutes of saying them. I should remember this. and you love a bit! and to repeat yourself.

oh so we're reworking sister lover now? in your new solo material.

there is a direct link between sister lover and lock all the doors.

SHE WORE A STAR SHAPED TAMBOURINE

c'mon buddy who is this for? what are you doing here? to what end are you doing this.

ohhhh I see I was confused because my uterus was wandering up to my brain and making me hallucinate.

much like your brother's? huh.

well ok! hope you're having fun with all this. everyone needs hobby. I liked dead to the world btw that was a cute song. nice job on that one.

i have nothing at all to add to this you're so right

[q8qwertyuiop8p]

My thoughts on season 2 Act one-

Overall: Not as good as season one for sure, but still pretty good. Needs more silco. Too fast paced, but good music, loved the Hellfire scene and Vi/Jinx fight, plus Viktor went biblical and lost his manhood. Magic stuff too confusing with not enough buildup in season 1 and parallels way too obvious.

Now more specifically.

Screw Heimerdinger. Screw Smeech. Screw Renni. And guess what? I'm going to say it.

Yes

Screw Vi.

We were in such denial with her being an Enforcer, we convinced ourselves she was lying to Cait about giving up on Jinx just to protect her. I was really surprised that she genuinely turned on Jinx. I think Vi would have killed Jinx if it weren't for Isha. I'm not going to pretend like Vi was totally wrong, totally evil- Jinx did kill everyone, so I can see why Vi would give up on her. But personally I cannot forgive Vi this, so it was pretty disappointing seeing her take a complete 180 and hate Jinx like that. Also not fond of Cait, and it actually seems like she's to be a major villian now.

Heimerdinger better die, I'm so done with him. He seemed to get better in s1 act 3 but no. He is still annoying and has too much screentime in season 2.

Smeech is somehow even worse, my new least favorite character. He has a cool design visually but I'm glad he died so soon. Same with Renni, seriously launching an attack on Piltover, escalating tensions like that, because the one guy killed your son?

I'll miss the flashbacks we had at the beginning of the episodes in s1. The new intro was alright, it felt less interesting than the season one intro to me.

Jayce has too much screentime, the way he doesn't realize viktor was naked until after he hugs him was a little questionable, but it's OK because we find out later that the hexcore stole Viktor's privates. The JayVik breakup was very rushed, disappointing, and unclimactic, jayce acts like it didn't even happen. The Viktor in Zaun scenes felt like I was watching an animated version of the Bible, I'm not sure how Viktor knew that touching huck, who I thought (and wished) died in episode 6 would do that, but manhood or not, I think viktor has become hotter.

The leblanc thing was cool, but incredibly random and confusing, and I even knew a little about leblanc beforehand. There was literally zero buildup for this not just in season 1, but even in season 2 before all this happened. The Arcane in general was practically absent in season one besides the mage and hexcore, and then is suddenly thrown in our face in season two, which I thing contributed to the feeling of things being too fast-paced.

I'm mad we have not yet seen a silco hallucination. We better get one. The scene with Jinx letting him go was heartbreaking, but the way they kept flashing back to his death and baptism scene was incredibly annoying. We get it, this is a parallel to that, no one is thinking otherwise. In season one the parallels were nice and subtle, you don't even realize until looking deeper and it's a nice treat, but that is no longer the case. And then as he sinks we hear him say "have you had enough?" Again, we get it. We know what that is a parallel of.

I'm confused as to how singed just got up, went to the snowy place, found and killed a murk wolf, dragged it all the way back to his lair, and hoisted it up singlehandedly. Also confused about how literally everyone knows silco is dead already. Did jinx tell everyone? Did she admit that she killed him to sevika? Why doesn't sevika see jinx as a traitor?