#not because i don't like him (i love him so much ok)

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?

Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.

Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.

Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.

This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

———

Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...

Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:

I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?

Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said–  I was giving them an analogy. 

Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?

I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–

I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.

But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–

[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]

Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.

But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. 

[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.

I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering  and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.

Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.

Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.

But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m– 

Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–

Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?

[starlost-maniac]

My Significant Bother - Ch 2

Warnings/genre: SMUT, piv, unprotected sex (don't do it), mxf, mxm, some angst if you squint, unrequited love(?), Mean Jisung (kinda?) I probably missed some (I'll eventually remember all the tags -_-)

Pairing: MinSung x fem!reader

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS, DNI

dividers made by @cafekitsune

"Minho.." You look at your boyfriend, shocked.

"The delivery guy was being a creep, hyung. He was coming into the house and she called for me. Since you were in the shower, I pretended to be her boyfriend and the creep wanted proof." Jisung wipes his mouth again.

"It's not a problem, Ji. Thank you for protecting kitten for me." He smiles at you both, stepping closer to you.

"You aren't mad?" You look at him as he stops in front of you.

"Why would I be mad? Jisung was keeping you safe when I was unavailable." He leans down and kisses your head softly. "Let me go and get dressed, and we can eat dinner. Ji, can you bring the food to the living room and find a movie or something?" He asks, looking at his friend. The boy nods, making sure the door is locked before grabbing the pizza boxes and heading to the living room. Minho pats your ass softly before turning around to go back to his room to dress. You stare after him before going into the living room, sitting on the couch opposite of where Jisung planted himself.

"Thank you, Jisung." You say quietly. You were thankful he helped, but now you were a bit confused. His kiss didn't feel like he was doing it just to help you.

"Don't mention it." He says, flipping through movies on Netflix. You stare at the TV until Minho comes back out and sits between you two. Once a movie is decided, you all eat and watch the TV, cleaning up afterwards. Jisung goes off to take a shower while you do the little bit of dishes that were piled next to the sink. Minho comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, pressing himself against your back.

"You feeling ok, kitten? You've been quiet." He kisses the back of your head.

"Yeah, just never had anyone be that much of a creep before. Made my skin crawl and I was scared. I couldn't call for you and I didn't think Jisung would help me." You sigh as you wring out the sponge, turning off the water afterwards.

"Just because you two fight, doesn't mean he won't help, kitten. He's still a decent human being." He kisses your temple. You nod, smiling when your boyfriend starts peppering your cheek with kisses. You laugh and squirm in his hold. He moves his arms and picks you up. "Let's get this kitten to bed. I'm sure she's tired." He carries you off to bed, playfully tossing you onto his mattress. You laugh out and turn onto your back, smiling up at him. He smiles and slips his shirt off and climbs into bed with you. He hovers over you a bit, looking into your eyes before he leans down and kisses you ever so softly.

You move one hand to his cheek as you close your eyes, the other lays on his chest, his skin warm against yours. He moves his free hand down to the bottom of the shirt you stole from him, slipping his hand under it to place his hand on your stomach. He kisses you deeper, gently nipping at your lower lip. Just as he slips his tongue in your mouth, Jisung knocks on the door. Minho let's a 'hmm?' escape his throat and the younger boy pops his head in a bit.

"Is it cool if I sleep in here? My room is cold and I can't find the extra blankets."

"Mhmm." Minho continues to slide his hand up your stomach a bit, the shirt not lifting far enough to show your skin off. You lightly tap his chest when he gives Jisung the ok, but Minho just chuckles. Jisung walks in and over to the bed, somehow oblivious to what's going on. He lays down next to Minho and stares at the ceiling. Your boyfriend grins into the kiss before pulling away, moving his head down to playfully bite at your nipple through his shirt. You gasp and moan softly, giving him a light tap again.

"Hyung..?" Jisung says after a moment of silence.

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Mm..just teasing kitten a bit. Nothing bad." He laughs out.

"Uh-huh." He's quiet for another moment. "Should..should I leave?" He starts to sit up. Minho chuckles and lays down.

"No. I'm done." He laughs and pulls the blanket up, covering you up, Jisung lays back down and pulls the blanket up as well. Jisung turns onto his side, facing away from you and Minho, not wanting his friend to feel that his dick was hard from your moan.

——

It's been nearly a month since Jisung started working at the same company as you. He was surprisingly very good at the job, and even more surprising, he was easy to work with. Your coworkers loved working with him as well. You were typing away on your computer, answering emails when Jisung came next to your desk.

"So, how do they do birthdays here? Cause I caught wind that both Felix's and Seungmin's birthdays were on the weekend."

"Usually we get a cake for the floor, obviously one big enough to accommodate around 30 people." You sit back in your chair. "Felix and Seungmin didn't want anything extravagant this year, so per their request, we didn't celebrate. Still wished them a happy birthday though. Chan may or may not celebrate his with us as his is coming up."

"Hmm." Jisung nods. "Speaking of birthdays, did Minho say anything about celebrating his birthday this year?"

"Not really. We might just go out for dinner and a movie. It's what he likes to do." You run your fingers through your hair, the scent of your shampoo wafts up to Jisung's nose. He inhales it deeply but quietly. "We may go to the animal shelter to see the cats. He loves to see them." You smile softly, thinking about how cuddly he gets when he plays with the cats and kittens.

Jisung nods. "Sounds like fun." He stands there for a moment longer, enjoying the scent of your shampoo.

"Is there…anything else I can do for you, Jisung?" You look up at him. He stares down at you, doe eyed. He shakes his head and goes back to his desk. The rest of the work day goes by with nothing exciting happening. Minho picks you and Jisung up and brings you home. You do your regular routine of taking your makeup off and changing into comfortable clothes, this time opting for a longer style crop top and sleep shorts. You go and sit on the living room couch, legs tucked underneath you. You scroll on your phone quietly as Jisung sits on the recliner off to the side.

"Do you two want anything specific for dinner tonight, or should we just order something? I'm kinda in the mood for Chinese." Minho calls down the hall from the bathroom.

"Chinese sounds good, baby." You call back, Jisung seconds it.

"Ooh, sounds like you two are finally starting to agree on things." Minho teases.

"It's food, hyung. Chinese is also always a good option." Jisung reclines the chair, scrolling on his own phone. He occasionally sneaks a glance at you. Minho comes out and sits next to you, quickly ordering the food, knowing exactly what you and Jisung like. He tosses his phone on the couch and pulls you into his lap. You giggle and peck his lips.

"Hi baby." You kiss the tip of his nose.

"Hi kitten." He smiles up at you. "How was work today?"

"Same as usual. The guys get along with Jisung. He's surprisingly good at the job." Jisung complains from his seat. Minho laughs, placing his hands on your hips, rubbing your bare skin with his thumbs.

"Are you two getting along more though?" Minho looks between you two.

"Gotta be for the job. Especially since I'm the team leader." You raise your arms above you and stretch. Your shirt lifting just enough for Minho to see the underside of your breasts. Jisung watches you, just barely able to see the view Minho has. He leans over in his seat, resting his head in his hand, making it seem like he was getting comfortable.

Your boyfriend grins and brings his hands up to gently cup the underside of your chest. You laugh a bit and lower your arms, your shirt now bunched up some on his wrists. He gently squeezes the mounds.

"Can I help you, baby?" You ask, smiling at him.

"Mm, no. I think I'm good." He grins more, gently squeezing again before slipping his thumbs up to your nipples. He gives them a quick swipe, making the sensitive nubs harden. You give him a look that says 'really?' and shake your head. Jisung watches from his seat. He positioned himself where it looks like he's looking at his phone, but he can still see what Minho is doing.

"Jisung is still right there, baby." You place your hands on Minho's arms.

"He's too busy with his phone." His eyes flick to his friend. "Ji?"

"Hmm?" He focuses on his phone.

"See, kitten. He's not paying attention." Minho leans forward and kisses your breasts through your shirt. "Plus, it's not like you don't like being watched." He chuckles. Jisung feels his dick twitch in his shorts, gaze flicking back up to you and Minho. The older one sits back, catching that Jisung is watching. He grins and chuckles, playfully pulling your shirt up a bit more, uncovering up to just under your nipples.

"That's true, but I'd rather he not be the one watching." You state. Minho leans forward again, softly nipping at your skin. He chuckles when you let out a quiet moan. He lifts your shirt and tucks his head inside, kissing your breasts softly, effectively distracting you. You move your hands up to his shoulders, eyes closing. Jisung carefully adjusts himself in his shorts as he watches over his phone. Minho kisses and licks around your nipple, teasing you. You moan softly, head tilting back some.

Minho chuckles, his breath warm against your skin, goosebumps spreading across your skin. Minho flattens his tongue against your breast and licks slowly across your nipple. You gasp softly and moan again as he sucks your nipple into his mouth. He slowly licks and sucks on your bud, enjoying the sounds you make.

Jisung lowers his phone, watching more obviously, thankful that you can't see him. He jumps when he hears a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." He mumbles, standing up. Minho grunts and switches to your other nipple, licking and sucking on your skin. Your head falls back more as you grip his head under your shirt. Jisung goes to the door, trying to get his hard on to go away. He opens it, and it's the delivery driver. He pays for the food and gives a tip, taking the bags before shutting the door. He locks it and walks back out to the living room, setting the bags down on the coffee table.

"Food is here, hyung." He settles back in his chair. Minho let out a 'mm' as he was still in your shirt, ravaging your breasts. Jisung watches as he pulls the food out of the bags and sets them on the table. He scrunches his brows together when you moan out as Minho's nips your nipples. Minho lifts your shirt, uncovering your breasts before pulling his head away and recovering your chest. Jisung was able to get a nice view of your breasts because of that.

Jisung clears his throat and looks away as Minho carefully moves you off his lap, his shorts sporting a tent. He grabs your food and hands it to you, looking at Jisung, he grins and winks—knowing how it was affecting his best friend—before he grabs his own and sits back.

"So hyung, your birthday is in a few weeks." Jisung says, turning the TV on.

"Mhmm." Minho pops a piece of chicken in his mouth.

"There anything you want this year?"

"Mmm.." Minho thinks, swallowing his food. He grins mischievously. "There's is something I want. But only if kitten is ok with it." Jisung looks at Minho and raises an eyebrow.

"Anything for you, baby." You smile and eat your food.

"What is that, hyung?" Jisung slowly eats his food, trying to keep his eyes on the tv.

"Remember what I said back on your birthday?" Jisung furrows his eyebrows, gaze shifting to Minho. "I want to see you and kitten go at it. I honestly think that you and her need a good fuck together to get all that pent up anger out of you. Plus.." he looks at you, your chopsticks sitting in your mouth as you stare at him, eyes wide and brows raised. "I'd still love to see my baby girl get railed by my best friend." His dick twitches in his pants at the thought. Jisung coughs at the request and looks at you. You were still staring at Minho, a confused look now on your face.

"Hyung, I still don't think that'll help any." Jisung says as soon as he stops coughing. You look over at Jisung. The images of him kissing you weeks ago come back to you. That night genuinely confused you. Jisung didn't kiss you like he hated you. He seemed to enjoy it. As the memories come back to you, the tips of your ears start turning red, and you're thankful that you left your hair down.

"Just think about it. I won't force you guys to do it, obviously, but just think on it for me." He smiles and continues eating his food. Jisung's eyes flick to you then down to his food. You look back at Minho, questioning him. Minho smiles gently at you, leaning down to softly peck your lips. "Only if you're comfortable with it, kitten." He whispers, pecking your lips again. He smiles and steals a piece of your food before offering you a piece of his.

You all end the night after cleaning up, Jisung going to his own room for the night, finally taking care of his aching cock. You and Minho go to his room for a long love-making session before bed.

——

"Y/nnie?" Felix waves his hand in front of your face, pulling you from your thoughts. You hadn't realized you zoned out and it was already time for lunch.

"Hi, Felix. Yes?" You look up at the blonde.

"Changbin-hyung, Hyunjin and I were going to head out for lunch. Jising said he was eating here today, and we wanted to ask you if you were coming today." He smiles at you, his smile full of warmth.

"Oh, thank you Lixie, but I brought food today. I can come out tomorrow though?" You return the smile.

"Not a problem. You enjoy your lunch, ok?" He stands up straight and leaves the office, grabbing his jacket. You stand up and stretch, going to your office fridge to grab your food. Chan had mini kitchen areas put in each office to minimize food theft, which was a great idea in your opinion. Thankfully each office had space for it too.

You put your food in the microwave to warm it and take it to the couch in the office, usually used for customers to wait at. Just as you sat down, Jisung walks into the office, it seems he went to the building's cafeteria. He looks at you and nods a little, walking over to where you sat.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He points to the chair opposite from you, the coffee table between you. You shrug, not like you really can stop him from sitting there. He sits down and opens his container of food. You both eat silently for a few minutes. "So, hyungs birthday is in a week." He chances a glance at you.

"Mhmm." You nod, not looking at him as you eat.

"I…I think we should do what he requested..for his birthday." He says softly. You stop mid bite and look at him. You chew your food and swallow.

"Really? Why? You hate my guts, I hate yours." You wipe your mouth with a napkin.

"I just want hyung happy. Don't you?" His eyebrows scrunch a little. His statement makes you go quiet for a bit.

"No, I do. But I don't know. Fucking you isn't something I've thought of doing." It was a lie. Since the kiss that one night, you've thought about it a few times, but you couldn't let him know that.

"I mean, same." Also a lie. "But if it makes him happy, I'm willing to do it. He's my best friend after all." You sigh and nod.

"Yeah. I want him happy too. So, yeah. Let's do it." You watch him. Jising was honestly really excited about it, but he tried not to show it. He gets up and moves over to the couch next to you.

"We should..we should practice a bit. Get more comfortable with each other since we have a week till the big day." He gingerly puts a hand on your knee.

"Nothing too far since we are at work." You look at him, being stern. He nods and moves closer to you, your legs touching. He reaches up and cups your cheek, looking you in the eyes, his gaze flicking to your lips and back. He slowly leans closer to you, his gaze back on your lips. You feel your neck and ears getting warm with a blush, his breath against your lips before he softly slots his lips with yours.

You move a hand up to his chest, his hands sliding from your cheek to the back of your neck. He deepens the kiss a bit, licking your lips softly. You hesitantly open your mouth and he immediately slips his tongue into your mouth. He tastes like cherries again, and you're thinking it's the chapstick he uses. He slowly makes out with you, taking his time with his tongue in your mouth. He groans a little bit before he softly bites your lower lip.

He pulls away, looking into your eyes when you open them. You were both breathing a little hard and he pulls away completely, his cheeks a little red. You nod and turn back towards the table in front of you. You feel your cheeks burning with a blush creeping up your neck.

"We should..uh..finish our lunch before the rest of the team gets back, yeah?" Jisung says, grabbing his food. You just nod again and eat your food silently. You feel Jisung staring at you the rest of the work day. When Minho picks you two up, he tells you that he's going to drop you and Jisung off at the house, and that he has to run out for a few things, but he will be back in a few hours. You tell him to be careful and that you'll see him when he gets home. You exchange a kiss and a smile and you get out of the car, following Jisung inside the house.

You've never been at the house alone with Jisung before. Minho was always there. You go to the bathroom and remove your makeup before going to Minho's room to change. You put on a pair of your sleep shorts and one of Minho's oversized shirts again. You pad out to the kitchen to find something for dinner. Pulling out leftovers, you warm them up in the microwave. You don't hear Jisung walk in, as you were zoning out again. He stares at you for a moment before stepping up behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your neck, effectively startling you.

"What the fuck, Jisung?" You turn your head and bit to look at him, your eyebrows furrowed.

"Didn't mean to scare you, sorry." He mumbles against your neck. "Trying to get more comfortable again since we don't have to worry about our coworkers walking in." He kisses up your neck to under your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

"Just…give a warning next time, fuck." You close your eyes as he gently nips your skin. "No..no marks…not unless Minho says it's ok." You gasp out softly. Jisung just hums a confirmation.

"Can I..touch you?" He asks after a moment, gently squeezing your waist with his arms, fingers digging into your sides softly. You hesitate for a moment before nodding, letting out a whispered 'yes'. "I won't take anything off, I won't even look until Minho's birthday." He kisses across your neck again, sliding a hand to your breast. He gently squeezes your clothed breast, feeling your nipple start to harden through the fabric. He whispers 'so soft' against your neck, making you shiver again.

You bring a hand up to his head, gently gripping his hair as you lean back against his chest, he presses himself against you. Your cheeks flush when you feel his cock against your ass. He moves his head to the other side of your neck and starts leaving wet, open mouthed kisses along your warm skin. You let out soft, quiet moans, feeling his hands slide down your body to under the shirt you wear. His hands feel cool against your skin as he trails his hands up to your breasts. You physically shiver against him and he chuckles. Jisung gently cups your breasts, his breath shudders against you at the same time you gasp.

He quietly groans against your neck. He is resisting the urge to bite and mark you, as much as he wants to, he wants to respect your decision. Just as he starts to massage your breasts, the microwave beeps, indicating your food is done. It pulls you both back to where you are. Jisung pulls away, pulling his hands off you and stepping back. You shiver at the loss of his warmth.

"You should uh..you should eat. I'm going to um..I'm gonna go shower." Jisung mumbles out behind you before he turns and quickly leaves the kitchen. You stand in the same spot, cheeks and neck flushed. You blink a few times before stepping towards the microwave to grab your food. You sit at the kitchen island and eat. You clean up and sit in the living room, watching tv until Minho gets back. He greets you with a smile and you smile back. He holds up a bag from a store that sells expensive alcohol.

"Decided to get some for my birthday." He laughs out and goes to put everything away. You get up and follow him, helping to put things in their place. Jisung had finished his shower and went back to his room to get dressed. Once everything is put away, Minho turns to face you, a smile across his face. He picks you up and gently sits you on the counter, now having to look up at you.

"How was work today, kitten? Jisung didn't cause any trouble for you?" He steps between your legs, placing his hands on your hips. You shake your head, just as Jisung steps into the kitchen.

"When do I ever cause trouble, hyung?" He runs his fingers through his slightly damp hair, opening the fridge. He was shirtless again, just wearing a pair of gray sweatpants low on his hips.

"All the time." You retort. "But no, he's been…pretty good at work." You play with your boyfriend's hair.

"What about while I was gone?" He looks towards his friend, whose head was still in the fridge.

"He was…ok. Didn't cause too much trouble." Your boyfriend laughs at that, turning back to you. He leans forward and softly starts kissing your throat. Jisung grabs some food out of the fridge, shutting the door before going to the microwave. Jisung looks at you then at Minho before looking at the microwave.

"Hyung?" He puts his food in to warm.

"Mhmm?" Minho kisses around your neck, kissing your jaw.

"Y/n and I..we thought about what you said. About what you wanted for your birthday." He watches his food spin in the machine.

"Mhmm." Minho gently bites the crook of your neck, making you moan softly, leaving a small hickey there. You don't catch it, but Jisung's cock twitches in his pants.

"We both decided that..we will do it for you. We both want you happy, and if this makes you happy, then we will." Jisung turns around a bit, so his growing bulge won't be visible.

"I want you guys to do this too, because you want to." Minho bites your skin again. "Don't do it solely for my sake." He starts to slide his hands up your borrowed shirt, making you shiver. Jisung just hums out an 'ok'.

"I'm going to go eat in my room. I'll see you both in the morning." Jisung grabs his food from the microwave and goes back to his room, not shutting the door all the way. Minho slips the shirt off you, looking you over, just marveling at you. You smile at him, watching his eyes trail across you. He starts to tug at your shorts, pulling them and your panties off when you lift your hips.

"Gonna fuck you right here, kitten. Missed your pussy all day." He pulls you towards the edge of the counter. He undoes his pants, pulling them and his boxers down just enough for his cock to spring free. He groans when the cool air hits his shaft. He slides one hand between your legs, slipping two fingers into your cunt, smirking at how wet you are. You close your eyes and moan out. He slowly starts to finger you, pumping his cock with his other hand. He pulls his fingers out and puts his tip at your entrance.

"You ready for me, kitten?" He slips his tip into you.

"Y-yes, baby." You wrap your legs around his hips as he slides into you slowly.

"So nice and warm for me.." he mumbles as he slides his length into you. He kisses you deeply once he bottoms out. "My good little kitten." He whispers against your lips. You shiver and moan his name softly. He chuckles. Holding your hips, he slowly starts to thrust into you. You wrap your arms around his neck, moaning his name out again. He leans down and sucks on your neck again. Picking up the pace of his hips, he grinds into you, his cock rubbing against your clit at the angle he grinds in at.

You gasp and arch your back, the knot in your belly tightens quickly. You moan out as you clench around Minho. He grins and chuckles against your neck. He sucks on your neck, fucking into you hard and deep.

"My good little kitten. Such a good girl." He leaves a large hickey on your collarbone. You arch your back and moan his name loud as you cum, clenching hard around Minho's cock. He groans against your neck as he thrusts deep once more before cumming in you. He thrusts into you a few more times as he empties inside you. You lay your head on his shoulder and breathe hard. Minho gently rubs your sides, hips and thighs, your legs still wrapped around him as he was still buried deep inside you.

"How about a shower, kitten? Get you all nice and clean." Minho peppers your shoulder with soft feather-like kisses. You nod and let out a soft 'mhmm'. He smiles and gently picks you up off the counter as you tighten your grip on him. He grabs your laundry off the counter and walks out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bathroom. Just as Minho passes Jisung's door, the younger one opens it to bring his dishes out. Minho winks at him, holding you close to his chest.

Jisung's cheeks flush a bit when he notices you're naked. Your boyfriend enters the bathroom with you and sits you on the sink, your eyes closed as you were tired. He starts the shower and Jisung watches for a moment, looking both you and Minho over before he goes to the kitchen. Once the shower is ready, Minho undresses and picks you up again, stepping in with you. Jisung goes back to his room, another tent in his pants. Once Minho cleans you up, he washes himself up before getting you both ready for bed. You cuddle up to him and fall asleep quickly.

Tag list

@tenshimara

[pastafossa]

Do you think Matt would make a good dad?

THIS IS AN INTERESTING THOUGHT.

Ok, so.

On the one hand, I think a baby would be a special kind of hell for Matt. The smells. The chaotic sleep schedule. The heavy care needs when Matt is already busy as fuck between the law firm and Deviling. The sounds, oh god, the sounds. Babies crying are designed to be impossible to ignore, to hit a specific pitch that sets off every alarm bell in your head. With Matt's senses, that'd be absolute nightmare. Even happy screams are going to hit those poor eardrums of his like a gunshot. And on the emotional side, Matt's got... a lot of self-loathing and trauma he'd struggle with, along with a heaping dose of fear that his very touch might taint his child with the same darkness he struggles with every night on the streets. As a result, I don't think he would think he'd be a good father.

However.

That last bit is why I think, if he did wind up with a kid, he really would be pretty good at it. Why? Because he'd try. He'd fucking try with everything in him, and he'd do whatever it took to make it work. He's not going to run and abandon you and his kid, he's not going to tap out when things get hard (and they will), and he's not going to be a dad that says he's 'babysitting' while you're gone. When he's able to be there, he's in, 100%. He's no stranger to walking laps around the apartment at night with his baby held against his chest, the child dozing as he sings hymns or practices his opening statements, because sometimes the low, rumbling sound of his voice beneath their head seems to be the only thing that allows his child to sleep. He never hesitates to change a diaper or do the feedings. He's the dad who reads all the books with you during the pregnancy, the dad who goes with you to the parenting classes, and seeks out advice from various folks in the Nelson clan (along with Foggy who, due to being born into a massive family encompassing no less than 628 family members at last count, can give a fairly thorough lecture on the mechanics of baby care. Foggy also ensures the child is inducted into the Clan upon their birth so that the Clan can give Matt and you a break when needed).

He'll move heaven and earth to avoid fucking things up, to avoid letting Stick's abusive voice and influence come slithering out of his mouth. There will be no cruel comments about 'the devil in you' when the child is angry, not like what Matt heard from his own grandma. That stops with him, even if he has to build the dam himself by hand. His child will have all the support Matt wishes he had.

Despite his best efforts, he does make mistakes. It's true, and unavoidable, which you'd have to remind him of regularly - 'Parents are mortal, Matt.' There are moments he would miss due to being so busy, moments - especially early on - where the noise or sensory input would become too much and he'd have to retreat just a little. He'd beat himself up for it every single time, and he'd have to work through that too, this reminder that no matter how hard he tries, he'll never be perfect.

But overall, just like with Jack, any child of Matt's would grow up knowing that they're loved from start to finish, and there'd be nothing they could do that would ever change that.

[rekino2114]

Makima’s (and really anyone else you could see this ask working for) reaction to her finding her Male S/o sad after he was told by someone (I dunno who, you could decide) that she doesn’t truly love him, and that she’s just using him for her own gain, and that when she’s done with him, she’ll just discard him, and him believing what they told him.

Makima comforting you

Makima loved you. She knew that for sure. After all, you were the person who made her feel love and emotions. You changed her completely from an emotionless and cruel devil to.....a person, her love was the least she could give you to repay you for that.

She would gladly tell you how much she loved you every time you wanted, and she already did so very often, while cuddling, watching movies, and just when you were alone in her office. The words "I love you" just spilled naturally from her mouth whenever you were close to her because it was the pure unfiltered truth. She loved you with all of her newfound heart.

And you thought the same, you thought she loved you just like you loved her, even after telling you her true identity you still loved her, you knew you changed her, you saw her cry and smile for you, just like she said you changed her and made her a person. You loved her and you believed her.

But even you can't fully control your emotions, and so even if you didn't know it, a seed of doubt had already started to grow in your heart. Was she just using you? Manipulating you like everyone else? Maybe she was even using her powers without you realizing it. You didn't think those questions often, just when she was what makima was truly capable of, usually against someone who hurt you. In those moments, you remembered that she was still a devil, someone who could and would kill without hesitation. Sure, she basically only did it for you now. But you couldn't help but wonder if that was just her lying to you so you would stay loyal.

But you still loved her and all of the moments spent with her, those moments when you could feel the pure love coming from her words and touch, far outweighed those thoughts, so you decided to believe her and to continue loving her as you always did.

That was until a conversation you had with kishibe. You didn't know him that well, but you knew he was an incredibly strong devil hunter and that he knew of makima's identity. You two didn't talk much (mostly because makima didn't like him too much), but you had occasional conversations when she had to talk with him and brought you with her.

During one of these conversations, makima had gone away to take care of something, and you stayed with kishibe while he got drunk and started talking to you. It was more like a one-way conversation since you stayed silent because of the awkwardness but you still heard everything.

He called her a devil, a monster, and said that she was just using you for whatever plan she had now. Just like every other person in her life, he said you were nothing more than a dog for her, maybe one cuter than others, but still just someone she'll kill once she's done playing with.

You knew that it wasn't true, it couldn't have been, makima loved you, and you wanted to say that, but inside of you, the doubt grew larger. You knew that no matter how much you didn't want it to be true, there was still a possibility it was. And the mere thought destroyed you

"Is everything alright, darling?"

You looked up to see makima looking at you. Her eyes made you stutter a bit, but you still answered

"Y-yes don't worry"

She stared at you again and paused the movie you were watching

"Are you sure? You don't seem ok"

She got closer and grabbed your hand, making you flinch, which made her even more worried

"You never flinch when I touch you.....please tell me love, what's wrong?"

You avoided her gaze as a bit of sweat feel on your cheek. You were scared, and makima could see that

"Please y/n, you're my boyfriend, I love you, please tell me what's wrong"

Your silence and growing worry made her eyes widen and her grip on your hand tighten

"Was it someone? Do you need me to.....take care of someone?"

That last sentence pushed you over your limits, and you looked down and started crying, taking your hand off of makima's and putting it over your face

"Y-y/n!"

The control devil quickly went near you to hug you, but you pulled back and continued crying

"W-what's wrong y/n? Why are you crying? I-i-"

Looking at you crying and denying her help filled makima with despair. She hated this sight, but most of all, she hated how you kept pushing her hugs and attempts to help away.

".......y/n.....please....tell me"

Her voice wavered....something you had rarely seen before. You moved your hands out of the way of your face and saw her staring at you again but this time you noticed something that not even makima herself noticed. Her yellow eyes were tearing up

"...................makima?"

She immediately perked up at hearing you speak

"Yes, darling?"

"Do you.....love me"

"Of course I do, you're the most important person in my life"

".......Really?"

"....where is this coming from?"

"I......I've just been thinking"

"About what?"

"You I guess"

"Hm?"

"You told me you used to manipulate people to get what you wanted right?"

"Yes but that was before-"

"How do I know you're not doing the same with me?"

"........."

"I know you love me, you have to. I refuse to believe that you don't......but I'm scared of being controlled and blinded by my love for you........please be honest......do you love me?"

Makima wiped her tears a bit and sighed heavily

"To be brief....yes....but it's a lot more than that"

She looked at the ceiling and continued talking

"I don't think I started living as a person until I met you. You gave me a soul a heart and made me feel love, the love I feel for you is far greater than anything I could describe, it's a need, to continue living I need to love you and I want to love you, you're a wonderful and amazing man, you made a devil like me feel emotions so you have to be. I hate my previous self, and for me to never become that again, I need to love you. Y/n you made me a human, and I will always be grateful for that, I will repay you with my eternal love. I will never ever abandon you or let anyone hurt you. Because I love you, that is the truth"

When makima looked back down and opened her eyes, you immediately hugged her, she was a bit surprised but wrapped her own arms around you and pulled you closer to her chest

"I knew it.....I knew it was true, I love you too makima, so so much"

".......thank you"

"No....thank you....you cried...that made me understand you could feel emotions...and love...thank you for clearing up this doubts inside me"

"........I cried?.......I didn't realize it"

"Oh?"

"Sorry I must have been distracted by you.....but I think I know why I cried"

"Why?"

"Because you cried.....and pushed me away... I hated that.....being unable to comfort you...and not being with you it's horrible.......I can't live without you"

".....sorry"

"No it's alright You had doubts and that's understandable, especially because it's me... it's alright if you doubt me again but know I will always love you no matter what"

"Don't worry, I'm 100% sure you love me now after that, I....want to be with you forever too"

"...that will happen y/n I'm sure of it"

You two got closer to each other and kissed, makima smiled at you and pulled back before kissing you again multiple times

"Thank you, my love, I'm glad for your existence and your love"

[bookishdreamer28]

₊˚‧︵‿꒰୨ 𝑨𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ୧꒱‿︵‧˚₊

You couldn't see a thing. Your eyes were covered with a blindfold and all you could sense was the dark and cold energy that was radiating in the room they kept you in. It all happened too fast to remember anything right now.

"You can't keep me here forever! If you want to loo for something or someone, I'm not the person who can help you!" You loudly said so they could hear me from the other side of the closed door. Heavy footsteps approached the room you were in and you held your breath, as you waited for what was going to happen next. Once the door opened, the steps kept walking and stepped right in front of you.

The person in front of me kneeled down. He hooks my chin with the knuckle of his pointer finger and thumb.

"Why do you keep lying sweetheart?" The heavy voice of this man gave goosebumps to your whole body. It was so familiar...

"I'm not lying! You caught the wrong person and it's so frustrating that you don't even have the courtesy to explain why-"

"Ssh" His gloved fingers touched your lips and a burned sensation appeared in your stomach.

Then you felt him standing up and walked away.

He opened the door and talked to one of his guards you assume, but you was too deep in thought to bother hearong what they were saying. All you heard was that he was going to keep you company for the night.

When he closed the door, you heard his footsteps halting in front of you.

Then his hands were unwrapping the blindfold and it took you a second to get used to the bright light in the room, before your eyes fell on the figure staring down at you.

Your eyes widened as watched your best friend crouching down to your level, a worrying expression painted on his face.

"Are you ok? Are- are you hurt?"

You were speechless for a moment before your shocked expression turned into an angry one.

"Are yoy kidding me Caleb? I- I thought you were...and now you-.. what the fuck is going on?" Your eyes were stinging as tears made their way down to your cheek. The sight broke Caleb's heart into tiny pieces and all he wanted to do was to hold you in his arms. But he knew better than crossing boundaries right now.

"Love...I know you probably hate me so much right now and it pains me so much. But I had to do what I did. They were after you and-"

"I can't believe that our...friendship was based on lies." Calbed turned pale. He was scared that now he was going to lose you for good. He knew that he had hurt you with his actions but he felt like it would've been better than seing your hurt in the hands of the people who were after him. He promised to himself that he will never let anyone or anything hurt you, and he was going to keep it that way.

"Love what we had, and what I hope we still have, was never based on lies. My feelings for you are true. You mean the world to me. I had to act cold and distant now because the rest of my team was watching. I had to somehow keep you safw by showing them you're not important to me."

"Well, apparently I'm not."

"Listen to me please!" Caleb softly grabbed your forearms.

"You are my world, you are my best friend and damn it I- I wish I was more... I want to be more because I-"

His words never left his mouth, because all he could was just staring at you. Your eyes, your hair, your nose and your...lips. Those lips that he had never got the chance to kiss them and dreamed for so long.

"Caleb?" You whispered, defeated with this fight already. You knew him. Deep down you wanted to believe that what he did was actually for your own good.

"Please..." He exhaled as his face came closer to yours.

"What?" Your eyes fell on his lips.

"Kiss me. Please kiss me love." His voice trembled with emotion and you gulped down your own sobs.

This whole situation made you realize just how much you truly meant to each other. And since it has been so long aince the last time you talked, now it was time that no more words should be exchanged. But for actions to finally speak.

Your hands cupped his cheeks and you kissed him like he was going to disappear any time soon. Like you were watching a dream and you were scared that your time was limited. You needed this as much as he did.

He moaned as he wrapped his arms around your waist, tugging you close to his warm and strong body. But Caleb interrupted your kiss by pulling away for a moment and amde you whined.

"Caleb as much as I want to talk about how stupid your decision was to keep secrets from me, now's not the time."

"I'm sorry love I just need to know if you truly want this-" you answered by kissing him more.

As you were going at it, Caleb picked you up and placed on the small office on the other side of the room. He just couldn't hold back.

When you finally pulled back, Caleb was unable to open his eyes for a few moments. It was so quiet and all you could hear was the sound of you trying catch your own breath. Caleb cupped your cheek in his palm, his thumb brushing lightly over your soft skin.

"It was you, who kept me going. You were leaving in my thoughts the whole time I was trapped in nothing but darkness. I'm not deserving of your forgiveness and I'm willing to grovel for you my love. But nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever stop this heart" he softly grabbed your hand and placed on top of where his heart beats "beating for you."

Your glassy eyes knly stared at him for a moment and then a soft smile appeared on your face, making Caleb smiled widely at the sight.

"Always you." You said as you omce again kissed him, pouring all the love you had in you into it. Even thought you spent so much time away from each other, one thing for sure is that your souls were connected. And there will never be nothing to break this connection.

Ok that was a bit rushed I think but I was too excited when his trailer dropped, that I had to write something ASAP!!!! I'll post more of him so stay tuned Caleb loveeers!!!!

[v4mpyinred]

ok this might be hella long, but I need to scream about some details about Makoto Yuki in Persona 3 Reload, because they're so missable so I feel like nobody else has noticed or cared about them other than me!!!!

Please someone hear me out 😭 (spoilers ahead)

One underrated thing about Reload, which is my favorite thing ever, is that we get to hear Makoto's thoughts when interacting with the world around him. Compare it to FES where the game's inner dialouge is in 2nd person, Makoto's inner dialouge in Reload is in first person.

I didn't give too much attention to a Makoto's thoughts in my 1st playthrough and I think it's what made me not as attached to Makoto as I would've liked in that playthrough. But god, in my 2nd playthrough, especially after watching the movies, all of that changed...

I noticed that Makoto's thoughts genuinely change as the game progresses. You see him start off as indifferent to everything, to cherishing the memories he's made with his friends.

For instance, take a look at his thoughts on the kitchen. I don't have a screenshot of this, but at first, he doesn't really care and just sees it as another tool. But as the game progresses...

This dialouge makes me swoon every time 😭💜

One of the biggest hidden details is Makoto's inner thoughts when you interact with the book on the dorm table. He has individual thoughts on the handwriting of each member of SEES as they join, which were delightful to read in my 2nd playthrough.

But what shocked me the most was after Shinji dies, if you interact with the book, then here are Makoto's inner thoughts:

That "..." doesn't show up if you interact with the book again. This was very intentional. And god, did that hit me extremely hard. In fact, if you interact with anything involving Shinji after he passes, you can really see how much Makoto respected him :((

Once January rolls around, Makoto's thoughts change to this sweet message 😭💜

Ngl I almost teared up when I saw this for the first time. Especially since it was my 2nd playthrough, and I was actually attached to Makoto this time + I knew what was up ahead :')

shit there's even dialouge if you go to the bathroom on the Promised day 😍

Don't even get me started on Makoto's inner dialouge on March 4th. Pretty much everything interactable is changed to fit the mood of how tired Makoto is, but also how much he's appreciated the year and the memories he's made.

Like when you interact with the kitchen, his inner dialouge about the kitchen changes once last time to this (credits to alanamisako):

This shit made me burst into tears so badly 😭😭😭 "I'll never forget those precious memories" FOUL atlus, FOUL!!! His thoughts on Shinji's room change on March 4th as well 🥲

Just seeing how much Makoto had grown throughout the game, and knowing what was to come, made this, and all the other March 4th dialouge, even harder to get through in my 2nd playthrough. It also resonated with me, because I too will never forget the precious memories I've made with this game...

Things like this make me appreciate Reload so much. Interacting with every little thing is my favorite pass time in video games that allow me to do it. I've probably wasted so much time in games doing this. But most game's interactables don't have this depth, and they certainly don't change at all, even as the game and protagonist develop. I also feel like nobody else takes the time to really interact with everything or see if there's anything else to see before they progress (trust me, if a game says go left, I'm always going to go right first), and it makes me sad that so much of this, and other details, go unnoticed. I've certainly heard "I've never noticed that" a lot when sharing these sorts of things with people 😭

Things like this really help flesh out the protagonist people call "bland". I really love silent protagonist and developing their personality based on their thoughts on the world around them. I also love worldbuilding and learning about other characters through it.

And I'm trying so hard to not let Makoto take Joker's place as my favorite protagonist (cuz the rest of SEES have already done that to the PTs LOL) but it's been getting harder these days. Makoto is just so perfect! I love his growth & seeing all of his inner thoughts and combining it with movie Makoto's AMAZING characterization (plz watch the p3 movies ya'll) just made me super attached to him!! I could scream about Makoto all day. He cares so much for his friends, and it's thanks to them that he's able to appreciate the life he didn't know he could have 🥲

So I highly encourage you to interact with everything when playing Reload! From NPCs, to random things that aren't the main objective (trying to leave when you're supposed to be fighting a full moon shadow leads to some funny dialouge for instance), etc etc.. especially as the game progresses. I mean, we all laughed at the 3 coffins in the Love Hotel, and there's so many other details and foreshadowing like that I can't even get into! It really immerses you and attaches you to the protag, but also makes the end of the game hit hard...That "my eyes feel heavy" got me horribly in my 2nd playthrough after keeping up with Makoto's thoughts the entire game HOO BOY!🥲

I also recommend you do this with other games as well. Video games have always been an experience over just a game to me. And I want to experience as much of the game as I can, even silly little things like this :)

[graementality]

behold?? my full interpretation on all of the main factors of CCCC!! I don't know what compelled me to write all this but here we are. (whoops this got LONGG)

enjoy!

[disclaimer that this is my own interpretation and, while I take alot from canon, some of it will be closer to the fanon side of things. ]

[disclaimer 2 that I get all writery in certain parts and essentially write "from the characters' perspective" so those bits aren't MY OWN opinions, it's what I think they would feel about certain things C:]

[disclaimer 3 that alot of this is me stating the obvious, aswell as making them out to seem quite horrible, I promise I love them all and while they do have many flaws, they have good moments too </3 uhh ok yeah don't kill me with rocks pls]

Heart

• first of all: Heart has a huge victim complex. whether intentionally or not, he will always play the victim- he can get quite emotionally manipulative in this sense too. It can never be his fault- "he was provoked" "the other deserved it" "the other started it" "I'm innocent I'm innocent I'm innocent."

• he *can be* immature. now this word gets thrown around alot by Mind but i think he's 'immature' not in the sense that he throws tantrums and can't be trusted and has nothing of importance to say like Mind thinks. he is in the way that he refuses to listen to others, refuses to take the blame, and can also be quite petty and has a tendency to blow up (sound familiar? yeah. Minds immature too, we love Heart Mind parallels).

• he is spiteful and impulsive, but can you blame him? he's constantly being belittled and fought against; of course he's gonna take any chance he can to get back at Mind- to show him how it feels- to make him finally *listen*.

• Heart constantly feels like no one listens to him, that he is the disregarded part bcus he's "uncontrollable and unruly". this obviously forms alot of built up resentment because no one is taking him seriously. I think he can switch alot between "I need to prove that I'm just as good as Mind, I'll show them." and "they're right, I'm violent and impulsive and I'm ruining our chances of becoming Whole.". as you'd expect- his mood swings are wild.

• he is Inherently violent and impulsive. nothing is premeditated- if he's angry, he'll act on it. he'll say and do whatever he thinks will get him out of a situation or will make the other person listen.

• just the same as Mind- he is under the full impression that his opinions on how Whole should be are correct. And of course there is truth in that, emotions are a necessary part of existence, but just like Mind, he doesn't understand the need for his other half's part aswell.

• I think he very much wallows in his depression. he finds it difficult not to, but when he's bad- he's bad. he takes after Whole in that sense. he will be selfish and cruel and will isolate. he will spend all his time in his room and will be significantly more vile to Mind. he gets very caught up in his own emotions and depression, which just enhances it. (that is until things start being better and they're on their way to concord ofc, they all start helping eachother and themselves again) (this sounds mean I promise I love him, sadly I love projecting onto him more)

• there's alot of negatives here for him being my favourite character but trust me he can be good too. He's excellent at comfort, he knows just how to make someone feel better when they need it. He's empathetic, he can read people's emotions with ease and because of this-is able to understand them. Every fight with Mind- he feels his anger and frustration just as much as his own, he knows Mind gets just as riled up as him when tipped over the edge. The same goes with Soul, he can feel Soul's anger like a looming threat when their fights escalate too far. He can feel Soul's guilt and and how he relishes in the control despite it. That is to say- Heart can be kind and caring too, when it counts. he's the love AND the hate; it just so happens that he's got ALOTT of things to be mad about in his life </3

Mind

• Mind is astronomically emotionally repressed, it is a problem. he views emotions as something that holds him and everyone back from rational thinking and being at their optimal performance levels. he doesn't allow himself to get caught up in emotions (this of course is a lie, and excludes his petty outbursts at Heart, those don't count).

• ^ so much to the point that he 'removes himself of everything humane and emotional' by replacing himself with mechanical parts. no I don't think that's canon but I love this headcanon and I will die on this hill.

• though he would deny it: he is very petty, and does enjoy provoking Heart whenever given the chance. (which of course Heart does aswell)

• he is a 'control freak' to his core. though it comes off as tyrannical, he truly does think he knows what's best for the Whole, and that's why he's so adamant on being the ruler. logic is straightforward, logic can be easily worked through and used to make optimal decisions, thinking clearly avoids all possible bad situations. logic is his mainstay, his rock. (If he were to let in the flood of repressed emotion, he wouldn't be able to handle it all, and would lose hold of his mainstay whilst desperately trying to stay grasped onto it. he would be scared and lost in it all without a way back up.)

• he hides behind his apathetic facade but he *does* feel and he *does* get angry and upset and scared- and he hates himself for it. he can't be seen as vulnerable, as weak. I don't think he even knows *how* to deal with emotions either. he's spent so much time shoving them down that when they finally all come back up, he genuinly doesn't know what to do, he panics, unable to use logic in a situation like this.

• he is stubborn as all hell.

• he is Whole's ego. he doesn't think he's ever good enough and yet pretends he's the best; he believes he's the best too- contradictory I know, they're all hypocrites /lh.

• despite all these sympathisable things, he *is* cold and he *is* cruel at times. just like Heart, he has his reasons, but that doesn't make his actions justified. (make up already you guys suck!!!!)

Soul

• sigghhh identity issues x1000; he doesn't know who he is or what he's meant to be. he isn't a real person, and what's worse, he isn't *Whole*.

• I think so much of his character is based around Whole rather than him being much of his own person. his identity is a mimicry of Whole, botched together to make the imperfect Self, always wrong, never perfect enough. he has spent his whole existence working towards becoming someone else that he's never once thought to make an identity of his own- it's all for Whole, he would be nothing without him.

• he does not want to have to hurt the other two but in the end, that's all they'll listen to. he mimics power and control. he doesn't want to hurt them- but what else does he have if not power over these two? he has no control over the loops, no power against Whole, he can't do anything to stop this in the grand scheme, so he exerts control in the only way he can. he (tries to) keeps them in line. there is a large amount of guilt around that though.

• he's actually a very guilty person in general, his existence is merely the happenstance of dissonance; he and the others are born from it. he is the hubris of his Whole's misery- how could he not feel guilty about his every motion and thought, his existence itself is made from anguish {his Whole's anguish}.

• he yearns for non-existence and existence simultaneously; he contradicts himself. he wants to be Whole, but at the same time he wants to co-exist with him, happily.

• overall he is tired, he is very very tired. he doesn't have much left in him and he'll do whatever is necessary to just make it *stop* at this point. I think even after cacophony ends and the fighting finally stops, he's still on edge. he flinches at every little sound and raised voice. he wakes up in the middle of the night thinking he heard the other two arguing again, he has nightmares. he's very paranoid at all times.

• during cacophony I feel like Heart and Mind are defintely dehumanised by him. whether subconsciously or not. they become the ids, rather than his fellow thirds. they're a problem he needs to fix, parasites he needs to be rid of. he wants to get along and trust them, truly, but he never can.

• touch starved. this needs no elaboration.

• he worships Whole, devotes himself to him. he thinks of him like a god, something holy and perfect and completely out of his reach. his whole identity and existence is built around becoming him, this places Whole as the epitome of perfection. he wishes he was able to be close to Whole, to know him- but that's impossible, and he thinks if he ever even got the chance to brush their hands together his body would explode at the heat of his divine touch. yeah listen to this freak, please be normal for once in your life Soul.

Whole

(disclaimer: this is the character Whole and is in no way how I view CJ!! they are completely seperate thank yew) -

• my entire perception of Whole is mismatched ideas I've collected from mutuals but a large portion of his personality is from 'live the dream'. so, just picture that version of Whole mixed in with the weird codependent god relationship with Soul and that's my Whole 👍

• he is selfish and hypocritical at his core, he's almost as guilt-ridden as his Soul.

• he knows he does bad things, to himself and others. he hates it, he regrets it, he feels guilty for it- but he will always come back and do it again.

• he lacks barely any form of self love- of course this is going to make it difficult for him to sympathise and love his little blots- *parts of himself*.

• he is (of course) suicidal, alot of his (self proclaimed) 'selfishness' stems from this; he can't help it but its true. he's spent so long only looking out for himself, in isolation, believing that everything he does is pointless- his actions are gonna be selfish, whether he likes it or not. hence- the loop; he continues to repeat it.

• he is a chronic liar, he lies to himself, he lies to HMS, he lies to his friends. sometimes harmlessly, sometimes Very Much Not. there are times he's sworn he won't restart the loop and believed it, but of course that never lasted very long.

• he's not good at maintaining relationships- with anyone. this is why he struggles so much with Soul's unwavering devotion to him. not only does he feel like he's not putting into their relationship as much as Soul is, but he also lives in constant fear that *it will end eventually*. Soul will realise what a bad person he is and abandon him, or he'll fuck something up on his own.

• Whole has religious trauma (two wuv), and because of this he is very uncomfortable with Soul's worshipping of him.

• despite this, he still leans into it; no one's ever adored him this fervently, without hesitation, he can't help but enjoy it at least a little. both him and Soul are touch starved as hell so, it's *alot*. It's easier when they're in the loops, when he's separated from them all, from their resentment and their love. he doesn't think he deserves anything but what he thinks of himself. so Soul's unwavering love and devotion throws him off, but who would he be to refuse such a scarce thing in his life?

The Juno Incident

• ok!! I like lot's of different interpretations of the Juno incident honestly, though the ones that align best with what I think happened are these:

• Heart missed, literally. his bullet did not hit Mind. I believe he had low vision (just like me fr!!) before being blinded fully after TJI and this of course made aiming difficult.

• ALTERNATIVELY, he *did* shoot Mind, and the bullet *did* hit. Whether that was in the throat or some other place idrk, it fluctuates.

• In both instances, I think it went like this: after Heart's shot, Mind was shocked, he was scared, ESPECIALLY if the bullet did actually hit. I think in that moment, he did not have his logic to rely on, emotion- shock, fear, betrayal, anger- all of it, took over. he probably couldn't move for a few *very long, agonising* minutes, he was shaking, he was trying to organise his thoughts to best approach the situation and *couldn't*. his smug demeanour was finally broken down and in that moment he was truly *weak* (which he resents both himself and Heart for every day).

• meanwhile Heart very quickly flips from seething hatred and anger to regret, he's a sobbing mess. he's also scared- partly for Mind (if the bullet hit), but mainly for himself, mainly of *Soul* and what the consequences will be. he starts hysterically apologising, not to anyone in particular, just whoever will listen. he immediately goes into defence mode- victim mode.

• when Soul gets to the scene it's a mix of emotions. he's mad, mostly, but also feels betrayed- this is going to impact Whole, this is a setback we can't come back from, how could they do this? but of course the first thing he has to do is help, mediate, punish- as always.

• when it comes to whether or not Soul blinded Heart, I'm not sure. I enjoy the interpretations where he does, but also the ones that don't. but I firmly believe that it was majorly Heart's doing (self inflicted whilst in Apathy which I'll elaborate more on soon).

• Soul still punishes Heart obviously. after realising that Heart isn't the one that's been hurt here, and is crying crocodile tears, he quickly makes his way to Mind, who is still trying to regain his composure. Heart is obviously still screaming and wailing, and Soul now has the full picture of what happened, he tears into Heart. he yells at him about how he's betrayed them, betrayed Whole, how he's broken everything. Heart just defends and defends, cries and cries, he doesn't want to face the consequences. Soul eventually sends him to Apathy, where he can't wreck anything else (except himself). This was maybe the first time they were all equally afraid of eachother. (It will happen again, and again, of course)

• after dealing with Heart, Soul tends to Mind, who is *very* averse to being looked after (he doesn't need his pity). But he is obviously Very Fucked Up and accepts the care anyway. cue weeks of recovery and PTSD.

Apathy

• Apathy is somewhere in headspace that no one knows how to get to, they just end up there when that is where they need to go. It's a long walk, or a short one; no one really knows when you end up underground, you just do.

• I picture it as something of a cave system but instead of rocks, it's made up of decay. It smells like dirt and rotting flesh, the walls squirm as if they were alive, the floors are covered in rotting vine-like things that crawl around you and pull you deeper into the pit. Its dark and agonising.

• Heart relies heavily on sound and touch, this place is a sensory nightmare for him to say the least. he can barely see, Apathy is unable to harbour sound, and everything around him makes him want to throw up.

• eventually his own actions, with the additional side effects of being somewhere so horrific all alone for so long- causes Heart to scratch out his eyes. I hc him as someone very prone to scratching and skin picking- it got a bit much here to say the least and that got taken out on his eyes.

• I imagine he was down there for at least a few weeks. at the max a little over a month. Soul is the one to come get him, Mind does not want to face him.

The Loop

• Whole purposefully restarts the loop. for quite awhile I stuck with the idea that the loop restarts itself, like when they start fighting again- as the cycle of depression does. and while I still believe that- I like Whole restarting it on purpose more :]. It gives not only the plot, but all of the characters so much more depth in my opinion. there's resentment, there's guilt, there's it's effects on relationships and relationships with oneself. It's just overall so horribly good.

• I mainly like the way things happen in 'live the dream'. as in: Whole gets tired of Being A Person, he doesn't want to exist anymore- so he sits down at his piano and begins his song to restart the loop; the loop that brings him to the peaceful realm of unconsciousness whilst his thirds go through hell once again. and when they finally reach concord, he's brought back to reality. and it repeats itself.

• regarding memories: Soul remembers the most, which isn't saying much but yk. his memories of the loop mainly consist of the main events (split, fighting, Juno incident, any other significant things). his memories aren't clear enough to ever prevent any of this though, he just has to live with the fact that he knows something bad is going to happen, and he can't do anything to stop it. even if he did manage to, the loop would find a way to make it happen anyway. (for example: he calms Heart down before he manages to shoot Mind. Soul thinks all is well but later that night he hears muffled yelling from one of the blots' rooms, he's annoyed for a moment- just another fight- until he hears a gunshot. It happened anyway, his efforts were fruitless.)

• Soul is aware they've been through many many loops. he doesn't know how many, but he knows they've been here for A Very Long Time. he's tired.

• Heart and Mind are..somewhat aware of the loop? I think during calamity and closer to concord they're able to remember better, but in the midst of cacophony, they might as well know nothing. the battle for control and constant warring prevents them from remembering they've been here before- and will be once more. It all feels familiar, they write it off as deja vu. alot of things happen because of their 'instincts', for example: Heart's first thought during The Fight with Mind is to grab the gun; he's never shot anyone before, so why'd the thought come up? well it's obviously the most efficient choice of action- it'll certainly get Mind to shut up and listen to you. <- and so the cycle repeats itself.

• on how many loops there have been. I think it comes and goes like the cycle of depression (obviously). I think they each last for a few months up to a year at a time, and concord lasts for roughly a few months aswell. however many of those fit into the time that Whole has been alive and struggling with depression is how many loops there have been.

done!! holy shit that's alot, over 3k to be exact. these ideas will probably change and fluctuate over time but it was nice to get it all down for now :] feel free to send me asks about my headcanons of these weird little bugs, I love them :33 !!!

[witchygagirlwrites]

Consider Me Gone-Part 1

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader x Jay Halstead/ Gerstead x Reader

You know your guys love you but when a case brings up bad memories and they don't turn to you? That makes you begin to doubt yourself, your relationship, everything.

You could still remember the look on your sister’s face when you told her you were deploying. The fear, the apprehension. She was afraid of you not coming home, afraid that if you made it home you wouldn’t be the same woman that left. You knew the risks that came along with the path you chose, you also knew the risks of not taking it. You had to do something with your life and that was the only path you could’ve taken at that point in your life.

When you were tasked to the 75th regiment you’d nearly questioned your commanding officer. There were men and women in the 68W that had a lot more time under their belt than you but he’d been content with your record and next thing you knew your boots were hitting the dirt in Korengal Valley.

When you reported to duty you were introduced to your unit, the men and women who you would be responsible for keeping alive under fire. Two men stood out amongst them. One with sky blue eyes, the other seafoam blue. Both of them equally gorgeous with smiles that would’ve stopped you in your tracks had you met them under different circumstances. They watched you intently from the moment you said your name and the commanding officer told the unit to be welcoming to you because “She’s gonna keep your sorry asses alive” 

It took all of a half an hour before Jay Halstead and Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz were introducing themselves to you. “Mouse huh?” you asked and he’d given you a grin that showed off a set of dimples “It’s a stupid nickname but I’m the first to admit it” you cut your eyes at Jay “How’d he get it?” he winked at you “Oh sweetheart you gotta earn that story” From that day on the three of you always seemed to find each other. 

One day you had just stepped out of the med tent to catch your breath, the scent of blood heavy in your nose. You had lost someone, you knew it was hopeless from the moment he’d been brought in. You hadn’t told him that. The letter in the pocket of your pants felt so much heavier than a folded sheet of paper. He’d pressed it into your hand and begged you to make sure his boyfriend got it. 

You took a deep breath, trying to find air that didn’t burn your lungs on the way down. “Doc, you feeling ok?” you turned at the sound of Mouse’s voice and forced a smile onto your face “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not a doctor Gerwitz?” he grinned “You seemed pretty doctorish to me” you shook your head “Where’s your shadow?” he nodded across the way and you spotted Jay talking to Anderson “We just got back in” “Nice to see I’m not having to put either of you back together” you teased and he shrugged “We try our best to stay outta your way”

“The rest of the unit in one piece?” you asked and he nodded “Yes ma’am” both him and Jay always did that. Why, you weren’t sure. “Good, less people in my tent, the better” he nodded “We’ll be back for a few days. If you don’t wanna be alone” “You asking me to spend time with you? Aww that’s adorable” you teased and saw him bite back a grin “You’re a pain in the ass at times, you know that?”

You grinned “You and Jay wouldn’t hang out with me if I wasn’t and I damn sure wouldn’t have lasted this long in the rangers” he laughed “Ain’t that the truth” Jay started your way and smirked when he saw you “If it isn’t my favorite medic. Feel like giving me a once over yet doc?” you shook your head “I’ll sew your lips shut Halstead” he grabbed over his heart “You’re killing me sweetheart, killing me”

Athena, the only other woman out of your unit walked up and shook her head “Easy boys. The only one spending nights with our medic is me” she slung her arm around your shoulders and winked at you “Isn’t that right sugar?” you grinned “Damn right” and busted out laughing at the look on Jay and Mouse’s faces.

You spent two tours in that place. With Jay and Mouse it wasn’t so bad. They were your best friends, never looked at you like you were less because you were a woman and you felt comfortable around them which said alot.

The day you knew you had to get out was hell on earth. That damn convoy still haunted your dreams. Having to pull your unit out the flames, being forced to move on from the ones you couldn’t save and simply stabilize who you could and pray a chopper got there before you lost them. Mouse and Jay were medically discharged and you took your discharge as well. You couldn’t face it anymore. 

You never would’ve thought that the years spent over there would result in you falling in love with those two rangers who were always such a pain in your ass yet here you were. 

You groaned when you tried to stretch but movement was inhibited by two sets of strong arms wrapped around your body. You slowly opened your eyes to see that Jay was curled up to your back, hands holding your hips and face pressed between your shoulders, while Mouse had his arms thrown over your stomach and his face resting on your breasts as pillows.

At least they were comfortable. You shifted, trying to figure out a way from under the mess of limbs when Jay’s hands tightened on your hips and you felt his erection pressing into your ass “Princess, it’s a little too early for you to be making sounds like that and squirming up against me like that”

You shot him a playful glare “If my boyfriends didn’t act like I was going to run away in the middle of the night maybe I could get up to go get coffee” Mouse’s lips teased across your bare chest “Well if it hadn’t taken us years to convince you to want us maybe we wouldn’t be worried”

You turned your head back towards him and he was grinning up at you from where his head was still laid on your breasts. “You two were flirts then when we got home we didn’t see each other for a while then well let’s not talk about then” he moved up to brush a gentle kiss against your lips “No let's not talk about then”  Jay slipped a hand around your neck to gently tilt your head back to him “Let’s talk about now” his lips were feather light but being in their arms were always like a fire being set inside of you. It had been that way since you finally let yourself give in that first time. 

“We’re all gonna be late for work” you reminded and Jay grinned “I set the clock back an hour so we’d have more time” you shook your head “You’re horrible” he shrugged “We love our girl, what’s horrible about that?”

You felt Mouse’s hand slip down between your thighs and when you let them fall open without thought he chuckled “Looking like you don’t care too much about being late love”

By the time you parked at med Will was already texting you asking where the hell you were at. You didn’t dignify your dear brother in law with a response and simply pocketed your phone and headed inside.

When you passed the front desk Maggie smiled “Good morning” “Mornings Mags. Where’s Halstead? He’s blowing me up like I’m not still five minutes before my shift” She looked behind you and grinned. You turned around and glared up at Will “What’s the rush?” his eyes widened “They have baby nurses from the med school here. If I didn’t have you they’d stick me with one of them” you shook your head with a laugh “Oh honey” 

You knew as much if not more than most of the doctors here but you hadn’t had the desire to get the doctor title. Registered Nurse suited you just fine, besides they knew what you could do here. Most of the time you either worked side by side with Will or Ethan. Neither of them ever questioned your call. You waved a hand “Fear not big red. Your favorite nurse is here. Let’s start the day”

He slipped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into a side hug “I don’t know how my brother ever got lucky enough to get you” then pointed you towards his first patient’s room.

_______________

You were just sitting down in the breakroom when your phone chimed with a text from Erin Mollys tonight? Please?? You laughed lightly and texted back I’ll meet you there dear. Let the boys know their choices are either go out with me or I’m going alone

You opened your water and barely got a bite of your sandwich before two texts popped up in the group text thread between you, Jay and Mouse that read We’re coming and Baby, don’t play like that you shook your head and texted back was just giving you options geez

Ethan walked in and sat down across from you, leaning back in his seat. You cut your eyes up “You good Choi?” he nodded “Yeah, just beat” you nodded in agreement. This shift had been back to back. Your lunch break was supposed to be four hours before. You’d managed to eat a pack of the crackers Maggie kept in her desk between running tests but that had been about it. 

“You working tomorrow?” you asked and he shook his head “No, how about you?” you shook your head “No, I’m off for two days? I think.” he looked up “Our schedules sync up then” you grinned “Good, I like working with you and Will” he laughed “That’s just because we both know you’re a trauma specialist you just don’t have the title” you grinned “Exactly”

When you got home Jay and Mouse were already there. Jay was laid across the couch when you walked in and you could hear Mouse somewhere in the house. Jay grinned when you walked in “There’s the sexiest medic that ever walked” 

You shook your head “Easy ranger. Just a trauma nurse nowadays” he reached a hand out so you let him pull you to him, having to straddle his waist to keep from just falling across him. His eyes flickered across you and even in your scrubs, with your hair falling down he looked at you like you were the most gorgeous woman he ever laid eyes on, then again he’d looked at you like then when you wore ACUs.

His hands gripped your thighs gently “I love you baby” you smiled “I love you too Jay” you leaned down to steal a kiss from him and the moment your lips met you heard Mouse “Oh I go to finish the laundry and get left out”

You looked up from where you were on Jay and grinned “He got me time I walked in, sorry” Mouse shook his head “Thought we agreed a long time ago, we both got her” Jay looked up at him “Can you blame me? Look at my view?”

You shook your head and kissed Jay before climbing off of him. You walked over to Mouse and pulled him into a kiss before checking the time “I gotta shower so I can meet Erin and Kim” That was all it took for Jay to jump up off the couch and Mouse to snap to attention “Want some company?” you shook your head, that was what had taken so long finding this place, a shower big enough for three.

“Come on then. No funny business or I’ll kick you out of the shower” you warned, leading the way to the bathroom and feeling their hands teasing you on the way. “You didn’t say no funny business before the shower” Mouse teased, lips close to your ear.

You walked into Mollys between Jay and Mouse. Jay had your hand in his, his fingers curled around yours and Mouse had his fingers hooked in your belt loops. You’d teased them that you looked like a flight risk. They’d replied that they were just keeping a hand on you. 

When the music hit you along with familiar voices you looked around and spotted the rest of intelligence at the end of the bar, well minus Voight and Al. “There she is!” Erin called and you dropped Jay’s hand and pulled away from Mouse to pull her into a hug. She grinned over your shoulder at the two of them “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna keep her”

____________________

“I’m just saying, I have seen a t-shirt and some duct tape save a leg” you laughed and Adam raised an eyebrow “Did you do it?” Jay leaned up over your shoulder considering you were currently sitting halfway in his lap “Yes she did”

You cut your eyes back at him “You weren’t even there sir” he shrugged “No but Anderson told me about it” you shook your head and looked back at Adam “Point is in the moment you’d be surprised what could be useful Ruz”

Mouse walked back up with Kevin and the drinks they’d gone after. He passed you your then handed Jay his beer before brushing a kiss against your lips. You grinned then he sat down next to you. “How did you ever get stuck with these two anyways?” “Watch it Lindsay” they both warned playfully. You laughed “They were already a bonded pair, if I took one I had to take the other”

Everyone started laughing at your response but you made sure to lean back against Jay and reach out for Mouse just in case they took your teasing to heart.  “Is that the trifecta?” you heard a voice say and your eyes widened. Only one person ever called you, Jay and Mouse that.

You jumped up from Jay’s lap, He was on his feet and Mouse was too as Athena walked up to your group. She looked how you remembered. Five foot nine, honey brown hair tied up and bright amber eyes. You never did understand why the boys went for you while she was there but you were glad they did. She’d been a heaven sent amongst the testosterone during those days. More than one night had been full of laughter in your shared tent.

“Athena!” you hollered, pulling her into a hug. She squeezed you tightly, nodding to Jay and Mouse “Hey boys” Once she let you go she hugged them both. “What are you doing in Chicago? Last time we talked you were in D.C?” you asked because she was stationed at the marshal office there. She nodded “I’m in town working a case. Heard this was a good place to get a drink. Didn’t expect to find my unit here”

“Are we gonna get introduced?” Kim asked and you laughed lightly “Oh Athena this is the unit Jay works in and that Mouse is a tech expert for” you introduced them one by one. She nodded “What about you fireball?” you grinned “You know me, I’m at the hospital” “Trauma specialist?” she asked and you shook your head “Trauma nurse” “Close enough. You know more than any of those M.D.s do”

___________

The four of you caught up a little but then she needed to join the people she’d come with so all of you traded your newest numbers before she left. You noticed Erin and Kim both cutting their eyes at her as she walked off but didn’t think anything of it until Erin whispered “Do we like her?”

You nodded “She’s good” “Are you sure. Cause if you don’t like her, we don’t” Kim whispered and you laughed, making Mouse shoot you a look. You shook your head “You don’t wanna know baby” before telling them both “She’s ok. She was in the same unit as us. The only other woman. She had my back a lot” “Ok” Erin said after a moment and Kim nodded too.

“That was insane seeing Athena again” you laughed, walking into your house. Mouse nodded “Yeah, been a while since we saw anyone out of the unit” “Yeah” Jay agreed.

You tried and failed to stifle a yawn which made them share a grin “I think we need to put her to bed” Jay laughed. “Only if you two come with me” you pouted and they both shook their heads “She’s so damn spoiled. What happened to that medic that used to threaten to sew my lips shut?” Jay asked and you grinned “I figured out I like you being able to use your lip and your tongue and other things”

He cut his eyes at Mouse “I say we make sure she gets a good night's rest. What do you think?” Mouse’s eyes were glued to you “I say that’s a damn good idea”

Two days passed and you didn’t really think too much more about Athena being in Chicago. You ended up pulling doubles at the hospital and Intelligence had just finished wrapping up a drug bust worth a quarter of a million.

You stood at the front desk, rubbing your hand across your eyes. “You good?” Will asked and you looked up at him “Aces” he grinned “I swear you act too much like you’re with my brother at times. You can admit if you’re tired or something” you shook your head “I’m fine Will, really. I need some coffee and maybe some water too then I’ll be good as new” 

He nodded “Do me a favor and add some food somewhere in that mix? I’m gonna get my ass kicked twice over if you pass out on my watch” you grinned at him “Don’t worry if they kick your ass while I’m out I’ll take care of it when I wake up. We have the same base training”

You rotated your neck in a tight circle and got ready to go back to work but your phone started ringing. You pulled it out and saw it was Erin. “Hello?” you answered and her voice was low “Can you talk?” “Yeah, why?” your stomach knotted at her tone. She took a deep breath before saying “They probably wouldn’t want me to tell you but we caught a case that I think may have triggered something for your fellas. I overheard Jay and Mouse talking about Henderson? It sounded like they were arguing and that this case had enough similarities to remind them”

Your hand flew out to the desk to steady yourself. Memories of the shape Mark had been in when he was found flew through your head, how hard you worked to stabilize him and the striking realization that all you had to offer his wife was that after all the hell he suffered he died with a friend at his side. 

You vaguely registered her calling your name twice before April touching your arm snapped you back to the present “Yeah? Um thanks Erin for letting me know. If they start arguing and cause interruptions to the case, call me?” “Of course” 

You hung up with her and looked at April who was staring at you with an unspoken question written plainly across her face “I’m ok April” she shook her head “You know I live with someone who served, right?” you offered her a smile “I promise, I’m ok” she smiled slightly “If you need someone to talk to I’m here and if you need someone who’s been there Ethan is always there for you too” “Thank you” you told her and she nodded “Of course”

She walked off so you slid your phone into your pocket. They would call if they needed you, if not you’d talk to them that night. Mark was a hard spot for all of you. His wife’s cries still haunted your dreams on some nights.

About an hour before you were getting off Jay sent a text in the thread We’re gonna grab a beer after work ok, normally they would have worded that do you want to grab a beer after work. Were they not including you? Just you two? You asked and felt your heart hit your feet when he texted back Thena is still in town so she’s gonna meet us. We won’t be long. We love you 

Was it the memories of Mark’s final moments, the ghost of his wife gripping to you begging you to say it wasn’t true or the slap in the face of knowing your guys were hurting and not seeking you out that forced the tears from your eyes? You weren’t sure but angry hot tears slipped down your face before you could stop them.

“Woah, what’s wrong and don’t you dare say nothing” Will asked and you hadn’t even realized he was standing over you. What were you supposed to tell him? Will loved you like a sister, yeah but Jay was actually his brother. How could you explain you were crying because your boyfriends wanted to get a beer with someone out of their unit? It’s not like they were being sneaky and hid it. They told you.

“Um, bad day Will” you whispered and he slipped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. “Want me to call Jay?” “NO!” you said a little harsher than you meant to. He pulled back and looked down at you “Are you sure you’re ok?” You nodded “Yeah, just had some stuff trudged up. I just need to make another hour, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry the guys”

“If you need me, I’m here” he reminded you with a smile before kissing the top of your head “I am your favorite brother in law after all” you shook your head “Mouse is an only child” he grinned “Even more reason for me to be your favorite” 

Once he walked away you let your face fall. Maybe you were reading too much into it? That was all? You just needed to focus. You couldn’t split attention at work. Lives were at risk.

You parked next to Jay’s truck and took a deep breath. You wouldn’t push. If they wanted to talk to you, they would. God please let them talk to you. 

You grabbed your belongings and headed inside. You needed to start a load of your scrubs. You went through two pairs this shift alone and they had to be washed separately.

_______________

You walked in the door and they were sitting on the couch, watching the Blackhawks game. “Hey baby” Mouse greeted with a smile. “Hey” you replied, moving past them towards the laundry room. “You ok sweetheart?” Jay called behind you and you rolled your eyes to not bite off a comment you may later regret “I need to start a load of my scrubs. I went through two pairs this shift” 

You heard them moving as you walked into the laundry room and turned to see they were at the door “I washed them love. They’re in your dresser” Mouse told you with a smile. “Oh, thank you” you replied, dropping the dirty bag to the floor and pulling the scrubs out to pretreat.

You saw them exchange a look before Jay asked “Did we do something we don’t know about?” you didn’t look at them and just shook your head “No” “How long have we known you sweetheart? We know what that no means” Mouse pushed so you dropped the scrubs in the washer then turned to face them “Nothing is wrong, ok? I had a long day, I’m tired. You two are apparently aces so I’m gonna go shower”

________________

You started the washer then pushed past them to get out of the room. Both of them reached out to grab you, Mouse around the waist and Jay your arm “Uh uh” “What is it baby?” 

You took a deep breath then said “Erin called me about the case. Said you two were talking about Henderson” “Oh” “Oh” 

You nodded slowly “Oh, so we don’t communicate anymore?” Jay shrugged “It’s not that big of a deal. This case, the victim..he was tortured for information” “It was really similar to Henderson” Mouse added. “Are you two ok?” you asked, looking from one to the other. You knew them. Mouse would need to talk it out when old memories were trudged up and Jay would try to bury it all unless you forced him to talk.

“Yeah, that’s why we grabbed the beer with Thena, talk with someone who was there” Jay explained and he could have punched you dead in the gut and it would have hurt less. “Someone who was there?” he realized his wording and looked to Mouse for help on backpedaling.

“Baby he didn’t mean it like that” you shook your head “Fuck it. I need to shower” you stormed past them, shrugging their hands off your body. “Alone”

________________

You could hear Jay and Mouse both outside the door, trying to talk to you but you ignored them, turning the water on as high as you could get it and sinking to the floor of the shower. “Someone who was there” nice to know everything you went through didn’t mean a damn thing. 

You didn’t even realize you were crying until the salty tears hit your lips. You didn’t try to stifle your sobs. What were they gonna do? Go talk to Athena about it?

______________

When you got out of the shower and dressed you opened the bathroom door to find Mouse sitting on the floor on one side of the door and Jay on the other “What are you two doing?” you asked and Mouse said “Waiting for you, we heard you crying” “I’m fine Greg” you sighed and walked past them to the bedroom.

You crawled into bed, curling up in the middle where you usually slept. They quickly disrobed and climbed into bed on either side of you. “Can we touch you?” Jay asked and you nodded. You felt them slip their arms around you and closed your eyes trying not to let his words play through your head yet again. “I love you sweetheart,” Mouse whispered. “I love you too Greg” 

“I love you princess” Jay whispered and you nodded “I love you Jay” you forced your eyes to close. You desperately needed sleep, maybe you’d feel more clear headed come tomorrow? Maybe you would be able to form calm enough thoughts to approach the whole “Someone who was there” comment without tears or screaming coming into the equation but for tonight you needed sleep.

@desimarie12

@alterna123

[reginalusus]

I am impressed with your work! I'm still on my way to explore Bruharvey. Maybe you have some headcanons for them, maybe something from a previous life when both were in college?

Aweee, thank you... <3

My Bruharvey headcanon: Harvey is taller than Bruce and Bruce is a whimpering, pining mess for him. Harvey is an oblivious dumbass. Scarvey knows and weaponizes it. That is all. Goodbye.

Ok, fine. <3

But oh, God, my Bruharvey is kinda rusty but here I go. I don't have many headcanons around the college era of their lives because it's not a particular era that kind of... interests me? Except for a few things which I will indulge in down the list. You know what? I'll be fair and do five for each.

Childhood

Harvey was the curser of the two. Bruce would always try to get him to stop using such language, but it made him laugh, and is there anything more addictive to a sad child than laughing?

Bruce always knew he liked Harvey, even as a child. He couldn't quite explain it yet obviously, this odd feeling of puppy love, but there was always something about his friendship that felt different from others.

Bruce would buy makeup/supplies for Harvey to help cover/hide his bruises and wounds. People at school talk. It's the least he could do.

Harvey would take advantage of his father's drunken comas to sneak out of the house and play with Bruce until the street lights came on. I DO imagine Chris disapproved of Harvey's relationship with Bruce, but that's EXTREME HC territory with no real canon to help me explain.

Scarv was beginning to rear his head as Harvey approached his tweens. It came with headaches, bad nausea, frightening voices, fatigue, so much so that Bruce's worry for Harvey only worsened when Harvey suddenly wouldn't show up at their meeting place to play and hang out.

College

Harvey's crush on Bruce starts to bloom. But it's shattered to pieces frequently because Bruce is a man that seems to get around. He always seems to be talking about a girl he thinks likes him or a boy he's thinking of asking out.

When Harvey gets drunk, Bruce would engage/prompt him into some silly courtroom roleplay. He'd claim it was 'practice'. Sometimes, when the verdict was reached, there was a kiss. Or two. Maybe more.

Bruce begins to notice that a stressed Harvey seems to own an odd rasp to his speech. He becomes snappy out of apparently nowehere, and he doesn't seem to recall what they talked about moments prior. Bruce's search history suddenly becomes less focused on his studies and more of symptom checking.

Bruce has joked about Harvey gaining some extra cash by being a nude model for art students. Little does he know the impact this will have later.

Harvey will show coin tricks to people at parties as a conversation starter. Bruce doesn't have the heart to tell him how dorkish it makes him look - mainly because he loves it.

Adulthood

Bruce would frequently come around to Harvey's DA office when he could, normally with flowers and a proposal to try and get him off work. 9/10 times he failed.

People seem to forget that Harvey is also good at detective work. So I bring upon you this (which I have mentioned before): Harvey sometimes gets a whiff of faint aftershave on Batman that's... oddly familiar. The practicing grips of CQC are... vaguely familiar also. When he's with Bruce, what's with the odd calluses on his palms?

Bruce is a strong man; he can cope with a lot of horrible, mental images. He can power through almost anything. But Harvey's various suicide attempts are one of the few things that haunt him.

Bruce uses himself as a grounding mechanism for Harvey's bad derealization/dissociation episodes. He'll guide Harvey's hands over him, asking him what he feels, how it feels.

Harvey and Scarvey are fascinated with Bruce's duality. Harvey, in canon, has said that he finds Bruce's duality beautiful. Harvey takes particular interest in the Bruce Wayne persona, Scarvey takes interest in the Batman persona. For both philosophical AND romantic reasons.

And a cheeky sixth one: Harvey will always be the gorgeous Apollo to Bruce, even with the scars, the stressed aging, the sins on his back. One day, he will utter it in Harvey's ear. He will not be prepared for how this backfires.

I have been thinking about them a little lately. A lot of people talk about them in an AU sense or when they were younger and before the Canon Event which is fine and sweet and all, and still interesting in its own right. But, personally, these two interest me most when they are at their most seasoned. Two aging men with the world on their backs and their worldview changed by a city that refuses to change. When said city has completely digested them. How two men burdened by duality can make each other feel like one. That's my interest. But anyway, headcanons!

[interlagostrack]

my ranking of the 2025 f1 lineups

ferrari - hamilton/leclerc there isn't much to explain here: lewis is the best and most complete driver to ever compete in f1, and even if he is not at his best, he's still better than the rest of the grid and that's it. charles is exceptional and with a little bit of luck and a car he can trust, he can prove once and for all he is the best driver of his generation.

mclaren - norris/piastri as much as it pains me to admit it, right now, mclaren is the strongest team on the grid. i always liked oscar, i know he is an amazing driver and i think lando turned out better than i expected this year (he still needs to mature a bit). both lack consistency tho.

redbull - verstappen/lawson i put them in 3rd place because yeah, we know if max has a fast car he can (put the other drivers on the wall and) deliver some results. i'm curious how they'll be this year, since they lost some key players last year, especially newey. i don't think lawson will be too hot, he might be just the next driver to have his career ruined by rbr.

mercedes - russell/antonelli i honestly believe george is one of the fastest drivers on the grid and he's also a clean driver who's not afraid to take risks BUT i don't trust mercedes to develop a car that's consistently fast (especially without lewis' input). kimi is a prodigy but i fear toto is screwing up his career by making him skip f3 and not letting him do another year of f2. his 2024 was of highs and lows and he would probably benefit of more time, but oh well

williams - albon/sainz here we have two reasonably good drivers on a reasonably good team and that's it?. like, i don't mean to be offensive, but i look at this team and all i think of is "mid" (and that if williams manages to give them a decent car and they manage to not crash every couple of laps)

haas - ocon/bearman i really like this duo! esteban is one of my favorite drivers and i do hope he finally has an opportunity on a team that supports him and recognizes his talent. oli already proved he is talented enough with all the times he was called to replace a driver last year, and i think a midfield team will be better for his first full season than the pressure that will come antonelli's way.

sauber - hulkenberg/bortoleto as much as it pains me to admit, hulk had a pretty interesting season last year (in parts thanks to kmag, but i do admit he is a better driver this time around) and i like gabi, i think he has a lot of potential to develop on a midfield team, without so much pressure and he will benefit from a more experienced teammate (even if i think it will be a miracle if they manage to score points any time this year).

aston martin - alonso/stroll ok, so hear me out: i don't think lance is a disgrace to motorsports, as most fans like to make of him AND i don't think alonso is god's gift to f1 either. to me, lance is a pretty average driver, with some good moments, and alonso is an okay driver that got luck with his 2 titles and somewhow convinced the media he is a genius. at least lance seems like a nice guy. i don't think newey is enough to save this team btw and i don't care too much about them

racing bulls - tsunoda/hadjar i don't have much of an opinion on hadjar and i think yuki is too good for this team and he will crush another teammate. i also think we should give yuki a gun and let him alone with marko for 15 minutes.

alpine - gasly/doohan this will be a shit show, both are good drivers but i think there will be too much drama behind the scenes and not enough results on track because the car won't be good enough.

literally no one asked me, but i'd love to hear other opinions so my ask is open or whatever

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

Hi! There's something I'd like to ask... How do you see Mikey in Bonten? In the manga, it's said that he commits a lot of crimes, like prostitution, but after what happened with Moebius, I can't imagine him like that...

Well bonten does have dealings with those crimes so Mikey, as the leader of bonten must be ok with that. I don't see him as partaking in the crimes himself though, I actually think he just doesn't care anymore. He doesn't support those things particularly but he also doesn't care enough to stop them. Bonten Mikey just seems very drained to me, like he's going through the motions but not really living. He's also not the same Mikey we knew (Draken even points this out) so it makes sense he would be different here.

Also although Mikey is the leader of bonten I don't really see him leading bonten. I think he definitely makes all final decisions and anything he says goes but I feel like characters like Sanzu, Takeomi, Koko and basically all the execs handle a lot of the decision making and deals for him. It's kinda hard to tell because we see so little of bonten but Mikey doesn't really seem to care about bonten. For example, in the torture scene he's completely turned away and instead focusing on eating. He gives the final command but that is all, otherwise it's like he isn't even there.

This is a direct contrast to how we see Mikey in toman, although he is a bit unserious at times, during meetings and fights he tends to be a lot more serious and he always pays a lot of attention. In particular this feels like the opposite of the dorayaki scene, where Mikey refused to be distracted by food he loves because the meeting was more important, both meetings also involve discussions about traitors or potential traitors.

With Mikey not being as focused while in bonten and having these very drained vibes I can't see him as overly caring about a lot of what bonten does. Which is why I think the others make a lot of decisions for the gang on his behalf (though he still has final say). Also with the way we've seen Takeomi take control of brahman and act like the leader instead of Senju, how Koko is seemingly given free reign over financial decisions in other clubs, and with how Sanzu does so much for Mikey, even giving the command for kmg to fight in the three deities battle, something a leader would typically do. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the case that Mikey didn't do all of the leadership decisions/ roles. Though this is just my take on it since we really don't know much at all about bonten.

[rowenllyn]

Batfam meets Carrie Kelley

Ok, I need the main timeline Batfam to meet Carrie Kelley.

And not in a writers just throw all the different timeline robins into one family, or a crack social media fic. I need proper post-Dark Knight Returns Carrie to universe travel or something and meet this Bruce Wayne and his family. Like, her life is wild. She is a pre-Tim Robin. She got introduced before Jason died?! Her characterisation is built up off Dick, off the original concept of Robin, as a symbol and nothing more, not really a mantle, but an idea. She is a whole different kettle of fish from the modern Batfam and modern interpretation and retconning and rewriting of the Robins, the Robin mantle and the Batfam, not even getting into the fact she's from the 80s. She actively lives in the 80s, like Reagan is president, modern technology is non existent and all that.

Like, from an outside perspective, Carrie's Robin is the leader of a guerrilla paramilitary Batman cult and vigilante organisation, with hundreds of "Sons of Batman". And sure, Bruce is behind the scenes, teaching and truly organising, being supported by pirate-coded, one-armed Oliver, but no one else knows that. To the outside world? Carrie's the big boss. And she's this tiny little pipsqueak in scaly shorts who just so happens to swear like a sailor or a goon on Gotham Docks. It's hilarious. The Batfam would be so confused and concerned about this girl. She has almost no training before going out, she literally got boot-camped in the like 2 weeks Bruce had between meeting her for the first time, where she proceeded to jump in the batmobile, set his arm and sass him, and him then having to go fight Superman and have a heart attack and fake his death.

And that's the other part! They would lose their mind about what the hell is going on in her world?? Vigilantism got outlawed?! People got forced to retire, leave the planet/country or face consequences. Oliver lost an arm?? Clark is an arm of the United States forces, acting as an attack dog pointed wherever Reagan wants?? They fought and Bruce had a heart attack and died?! Well he didn't stay dead, which is actually in character, but what the fuck Carrie?? And I just need her to be so nonchalant about everything that happened to her but also absolutely amazed by the technology and how many family members Bruce has. Also, seeing Bruce young is wild. She only knows old man grump Bruce, the true I work alone Batman. Seeing this Bruce and his family would be wild to her.

Also, the way that she would react to Bruce would be so interesting. Cause all of his kids are in fact his kids, yeah, even Steph to some extent, but Carrie? She's his Robin first, his student second. And his child never. Can you imagine the "good soldier" conversation? Whether that be her mentioning him saying it to her or her finding Jason's plaque (which by the way was Alfred's doing, which adds so many more layers to it) and being all like, awww it's lovely. And everyone else is horrified, including Bruce, cause he's realised that that is not how he should compliment his children and that is not a healthy means of declaration of care. But for Carrie that is true and it is what she is and she appreciates it. Because she is not his kid, and I don't think she really wants to be, she has parents, though they clearly don't pay too close attention to her if she's able to jump out windows and fight crime regularly, but she still has existing parents that fill that position in her life and Bruce is much more a martial arts sensei or a favourite strict teacher to her.

Like, she cares about the dude and all, but when they're sat around and Dick or one of the family members starts prodding Bruce about feelings and his personal life or whatever, she gets awkward, cause that's not her business. That's like seeing your teacher at the supermarket. She sees Bruce in the cave, during training and when he's giving advice, he's not a real person with a life, he's an NPC in her life, she jokes that he already fulfilled his dead sensei anime plot device when he faked his death for Superman, so now she sometimes ignores him when he's being pigheaded and pretends he's a ghost. BUT! That would be so confusing for the Batfam, cause yeah, he's their teacher too, their trainer and mentor, but he's also a parental figure in their lives, there's more to him and how they perceive him and having one without the other would confuse them so much. So when they see she's awkward about him being emotionally open they take it as a sign that they need to try hard and bring her into the fold, teach her how to get her Bruce to open up and she's just fully like, nuh huh, absolutely not, I don't wanna know any of that.

I just really want Carrie to be explored more in canon and in the fandom, beyond just an easter egg appearance, she's so interesting and so underexplored.

[like-tears-in-rain-storms]

Ok just had to share because I've been seeing these people all around and yet it had never happened directly to me.

So, great review of Nosferatu, and I get into A Situation with a person claiming that Orlok is a psychic pdfile rapist of child-Ellen and what's more, the covenant he tricked her into making with him symbolizes a marriage contract,thus Ellen is the analogue of a child bride and a denunciation of the buying and selling of women as brides through history and during that period in particular - also class analysis of how he's a parasite that sucks people dry, yadda yadda, we all know the class analysis. Now that's certainly....a take, and tbh I can see some elements of it sleekly fitting in with the way Eggers structures his themes, but to treat it so absolutely as THE explanation of such an intricate narrative....yeah. I had some issues with that.

And the whole affair ends with that person telling me verbatim, I kid you not, "you should examine why it is that you have a romantic reading on such an one-sided relationship between an undead rapist killer and his teenage victim".

And I'm like....what is this supposed to be? An own? Is it supposed to make me stop dead on my tracks and go "oh yeesh. Why am I romanticizing the goddamn gothic romance????? Am I some kind of monster? A ticking time bomb who'll listen tomorrow about a teen grooming victim of some degenerate and go "yeah but consider that she might have called on him on her dreams to liberate her and spread Covid around"???

To make a long story short, that passive-aggressive urge to self-psychologize with the hint that there's something wrong with myself did absolutely nothing to me,and I can explain it already as I did.

I had a romantic reading because I like gothic romance.

That's it, that's all the answer needed.

But I'm feeling rambly, so I'll elaborate. Because I like sounding the depths of the human mind and will and I like imagining it against powers that defy human measures. Because I like to imagine human nature as a universe, full of it's own destructive phenomena, natural disasters, secret cave systems and toxic geysers. Because in fiction I am free to do so, and can taste flavors that I would never seek out in the real world, like the vertigo of fulfilling the need for self-destruction, or the grandeur of being worth more than the entire world to someone, and what's more, I can acknowledge they exist, and can safely follow them to their logical limits from behind the safety of a book cover. Because on the page we can live out what can't be lived out in the real world even if we tried and because "some things belong on the page, others in life, and it's a blessed fool who can't tell the difference" and I don't know how others see themselves, but I am neither blessed nor a fool.

So needless to say, that wasn't the one it was probably intended as. Really interesting, though, to see such limited-minded puritanism take the stand on the event of Nosferatu coming out. Really interesting how, somehow, they are sounding more and more like crusaders of moral purity for the easily-deceived masses, only now dressed in some righteous "anti-abuse" garb, like abuse in the world will be affected if someone on the internet says that maybe the devouring embodiment of darkness that was rotting alive in the movie had some lasting and fatal effect on Ellen, and it didn't have to be love for it to be defining.

The real question is, why when your limit is the sky and you can make playgrounds out of your mind, do people feel the need to bring everything down to the unromantic, pedestrian and depressive reality that surrounds us whether we want it or not? As far as passive-aggressive urges for self-reflection go, I think that's a much more potentially productive one.

[disobey-disappoint-deviate]

Ok, but you know what I noticed?

The meaning of "deviating" kinda switches a little when it comes to Connor.

With both Kara and Markus, deviating is portrayed as 'making the decision to obey or disobey their orders'; in a way, deviating is basically developping a free will regardless of what the android chooses to do with it after. That means that Kara can still stay in that spot and not move, and Markus can still decide to listen to Carl and not defend himself against Leo after they become deviants.

So why can't Connor deviate and still decide to obey and finish his mission by capturing Markus? It's not... impossible for a living being with a free will to make a fucked up decision. It's not impossible for a brainwashed individual to turn against their own people.

Of course, it doesn't make that much sense to deviate if he doesn't wanna disobey, but it doesn't for Markus either, imo. I admit that it's a 50/50 with Kara as she can deviate and still "decide" to obey Todd only if you don't do anything which is just the default and not an actual action by the player.

But Markus does feel like he is being treated unfairly by Leo and Carl, he feels it's too much and that he needs to decide for himself how to react, so him enduring being pushed around after deviating doesn't necessarily make a lot more sense than Connor deviating and still capturing Markus.

Maybe Markus decides to endure because he sees that Carl is suffering a heart attack and misjudges the situation by believing that defending himself is more likely to lead to Carl's death because it would stress the man out. That's a valid response.

On the other hand, it would also be valid for Connor to try to capture Markus after deviating if he believes that's the better choice - Jericho is about to be attacked, and he already told Hank that he believes the deviant uprising will cause chaos. And moreover, Connor went there looking for answers and for "himself", as Lucy says. There is enough conflict in him to make him deviate just so he can know for sure who he is and where he wants to stand, without actually abandoning his mission before he finds these answers. He basically tells Hank he will find out whether or not they are on the wrong side before he leaves for Jericho and deviates - he is already torn before meeting Markus.

You know what I'm saying? The whole "become a deviant" vs. "remain a machine" dialog before the red walls could have just been replaced by an alternative dialog, which could appear after he breaks the red walls and goes like "join Markus" vs. "stay loyal to Cyberlife".

Ultimately, I don't know if that would have been better, tbh, but it would have been more consistent. The way it is now feels like with Kara and Markus, deviating means "making the conscious decision to obey or disobey", but with Connor, deviating suddenly means just "disobey".

And must deviants be good people? Must they be on the right side if it benefits them more to be on the wrong side? If they are anything like humans, at least 10% of them would have betrayed Markus, hoping to get immunity from Cyberlife (ofc it would have backfired, but well, that's anothet topic).

Anyway, please, feel free to discuss and prove me wrong, I don't claim to have understood everything about the game yet :D And I love discussions!

[mitchywitchythings]

Shoto with a s/o that takes care of their younger siblings, so much so that they call her mom instead of their actual mom and as Shoto visits her house more and more he sees they way they run to her and ask her for things and she takes care of them and one of them slips and calls her mom in front of him and he's just kinda shocked and confused on why the sibling did that and she explains that her parents really don't seem to care that they have kids and just kinda leave them to her. He also sees how she tries to balance school and her siblings and lets her just take a nap with him because he knows that she needs some sleep and is proud to have such a caring girlfriend. If you can't do that it's ok ❤️

How I Met Your Siblings

Summary: A summary of how Shoto Todoroki met your siblings and gave you a run for your money. It’s pretty chaotic but that’s expected when you have 3 other younger siblings who you take care of day and night without rest. The literal definition of mother.

Warning: Despite the siblings call you mom/mommy you are just their sister, Mentions of cheating but no actual cheating, angst with a happy ending, implied 18+ but nothing actually happened, OOC Todoroki? The cheating part doesn’t rlly make sense I just kinda rolled with it, prideful (Y/n)

Pairing: Todoroki Shoto X Fem! Reader

Word count: 12,000 words

A/n: Thank you to my first ever request!! The whole idea is so adorable and super fun to play around with! I loved writing this and NGL it wasn’t supposed to turn out as angst or this long, I just accidentally went overboard. ALSO IM SO SORRY FOR IT TAKING LITERAL YEARS TO WRITE! School had been holding me back for so long and my love life also punched me super hard in the gut and not to mention all of my personal problems.

1st Interaction: Todoroki Shoto meeting your siblings

“Hey, wanna come over to my house? I know you’ve been having a rough time over yours, with your dad being more pressuring with you after the sports festival?” I asked Shoto who was still keeping his books

Class had just finished, so it meant that it was time for everyone to go home. I stood at Shoto’s desk with my bag slung around my shoulder in a carefree manner. The windows to our classroom were open, letting the light from the orange sky pour into the room, a slight cold breeze was also carried in the wind, in this setting Shoto really looked pretty.

Looking up at me he spoke with a gentle smile, “Sure, thanks for your concern.”

We walked in comfortable silence to my house which was small in comparison to Shoto’s. But didn’t he didn’t know that because he had never visited my house before. While I only visited him once because his sister really wanted to meet me.

Unlike Shoto’s family… My family and I were in the middle class and they ran a hero support agency, building new gear to help heroes like Hawks and Miriko. You’d think they’d have a higher salary but unfortunately that wasn’t the case and so they work almost all day and night to earn money. Leaving me to care and fend for me and my siblings.

‘Honestly, they forgot they even have kids.’ I grumbled in my head. I sort of resented my parents a bit for that, work was always on their mind. And I didn’t blame them for that reason, I resented them because whenever they were home they didn’t seem to care for any of us.

No hello, goodnight, good morning, birthday greetings, or even congratulation on any special occasion. I could handle that, not my siblings though, I have 3 younger siblings, 2 boys and 1 sisters. All of them had unique talents and skills, all of which they wouldn’t have been able to achieve without my support. But still, I just supported them, they achieved it by themselves.

It hurts to see the disappointment and pain in my siblings' faces whenever our parents brush their talents and achievements off. And that’s why I chose to go to U.A. in the hero course. After I graduate I’ll be helping to pay and support whatever my siblings want.

That’s because my parents have to approve what kind of career we want to go into. And let’s just say, if my siblings wanted to have regular jobs like teachers, then my parents wouldn’t agree or pay for their college. And let's just say I didn’t want that for them. That’s why I need to earn lots of money and fast, for my siblings. And becoming a hero is the way to accomplish that goal, good thing that it’s my passion as well.

~~~

A sudden soft tune and vibration began coming out from my bag. I pulled out my phone, and looked at the dark screen with a picture of a young boy who had similar facial features to me. Seeing the caller ID, I didn’t hesitate to answer the call immediately.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, “Alright… Yes yes… Sure, not a problem… Anything else you need?… Alright then, love you too. I’ll be waiting for you back at the house and don’t take too long.”

“Who was that?” Shoto asked as his eyebrows furrowed in curiosity

“My younger brother, he said he’ll be coming home a bit late since his soccer practice is taking longer than expected. Also do you mind if we stop by a 7/11? He asked if I could buy him some onigiri.” I replied, putting my phone back into my bag.

“I don’t mind at all.” He replied in his usual monotone voice

“Thanks baby.” I gave him a kiss on the lips in surprise

“It’s no problem.” He smiled with a blush on his face, pulling me towards him by the waist.

And so we headed towards the direction of the nearest 7/11. Shoto had his arm wrapped around my waist in a very protective manner. Once we got to the 7/11, I began to go down the onigiri section, but I happened to pass by some instant soba noodles.

Knowing it was Shoto’s favorite food, I sneakily took it while he was looking at the slurpee machine in curiosity as if he hadn’t tried one once ever in his life, probably because of his father. After that I took some tuna mayo onigiri and other snacks that I knew my siblings would want and went up to the counter quickly before Shoto would offer to pay for it.

Mission successful! With a plastic bag in my hand, I waited for Shoto on one of the seats at the high table. Scrolling through my gallery, looking for pictures of my siblings. A sudden shadow towered over me, looking at my phone. Knowing who it was, I didn’t panic at all instead turning around to meet his gaze. I smiled and thanked him as he handed me a red colored slurpee, while in his other hand was a blue one.

”You never really mentioned anything about your siblings?” He questioned

I cooed adorably at that question, picturing my siblings in my mind, “Oh, you never asked plus, you don’t seem like you would hang out with kids unless you have to.”

“It’s not that I don’t like them.” He spoke bluntly

“Well then, not to worry. You’ll be meeting my siblings today.” I smiled at him, getting up and walking out of the store

“How about your parents?” Shoto trailed after me and headed off to my house.

I tensed up at his curiosity, “Well, I’ll see if they’re there. If so, I guess you could meet them.” Awkwardly sipping onto my slurpee while avoiding his gaze

He didn’t comment on my actions which I was very thankful for. We walked towards my home in an awkward silence after that, up until Shoto decided to break it. Asking if we could switch slurpees so that he could taste the flavor of mine.

I agreed to it and we switched up slurpees. Both of them tasted good, but I liked mine better. However unbeknownst to us, due to switching our slurpees. Our tongues that were supposedly red and blue, both turned violet. Something that would become very embarrassing later on.

~~~

We finally arrived at my house, it was a 2 story modern house. It looked really simple and cozy, Shoto noticed. Grabbing the keys out of my pocket and opening the door to my house, it was already around 5:30 PM. To my surprise both me and Shoto were greeted with a quiet house. We took off our shoes and headed towards the kitchen.

I was glad that my siblings weren’t causing any ruckus today but I was beginning to wonder where they were. We placed the plastic bag on the kitchen table and I stretched. Shoto had to go do a number 1, so he asked the direction of the bathroom. I told him the directions and waited for him on the living room couch.

“Hey guys, I’m home!” I yelled out, for the people upstairs to hear.

All Hell broke loose…

“Mom’s back home!!” Hikari my 6 year old sister came running down the stairs

“Hey wait up for me!” Hiroto my 8 year old brother tried to follow after her

“Don’t run down the stairs guys! You could trip and fall!” I yelled out, watching over them in concern.

My 2 siblings jumped into me and screamed out chants of ‘mom’s home’. I giggled along with them and had to pry myself off of them. Their hugs were like a vice grip, if I didn’t undergo any hero training I would have had a hard time pulling them off.

Directing them towards the counter, I pulled out their favorite snacks from the 7/11 plastic bag. Hiroto, the more introverted one out of all of us thanked me shyly with a hug while Hikari, the most extroverted among all of my siblings pulled me down to place a kiss on my cheek.

The door slammed open timingly to reveal my 12 year old brother with the exact same facial features as me except only more younger and boyish. At the same time, Shoto got out of the bathroom and entered the room who was still sipping on his blue slurpee. Only to meet Kaito who glared at him, while holding his soccer ball.

“Mom, who’s this?” He gritted his teeth, placing the soccer ball down to aim it at Shoto.

“Mom?” Shoto looked at you in wide eyes

“Kaito, stop that and I can explain everything to both of you.” I got up and ran towards them, standing in front of Shoto to shield him

“Kaito! Listen to what mom says!” Hiroto ran and tried to pull him away

“Kaito, stop being mean!” Hikari with tears in her eyes, cried comically

“Like Hell, I will! Who the Hell is this guy, with mom!” Kaito yelled, giving Shoto a full on death glare

Shoto was confused at your brother's actions, “I’m (N/n)’s boyfriend.” He spoke bluntly

“Mom’s boyfriend, like Hell will I allow that!” Kaito pushed off Hiroto and kicked the ball

All the while this was happening you yelled at him, “Kaito, that wasn’t nice! Apologize to Hiroto and c’mon please listen. He is my boyfriend and I love him very much! So please don’t kick the ball!”

I ran towards him to try to hold him back, while scolding him for pushing off Hiroto who luckily, landed on the couch with Hikari comforting him by hugging him from behind.

The soccer ball flew into the air with Kaito’s expert skills. Everyone’s eyes were glued onto the ball that was flying towards Shoto at lighting speed. I knew that I had no reason to worry for Shoto seeing as he’s very strong, but as his girlfriend and the person responsible for Kaito

I was worried for Shoto because I didn’t know what he’d think of me after this. Plus Kaito’s quirk was that he could control anything he touched for a period of time. This means that if you weren’t quick enough Shoto could very well get hit by the ball.

You activated your quirk, but Shoto was faster. He lifted his arm in front of him and aimed at the ball, which swerved to the left and with quick reflexes Shoto froze the ball completely, he bent down casually as though he hadn’t encased it in ice, he picked it up and began heating it up.

“HUH?!” Kaito yelled in shock, no one had been able to stop his soccer balls even with the use of their quirk except for me.

My siblings stared at Shoto for a minute in shock at what just happened until Hiroto recognized him, “Didn’t you place 2nd in the sports festival, just above mom who placed 3rd?”

“Yeah, yeah he is! He’s so cool with that fight with the green hair dude!” Hikari fangirled, running up to Shoto and hugging him by the leg.

“Ack- He’s the dude who literally obliterated his opponents…?” Kaito’s face became pale and he hid behind the couch

I sighed in irritation and walked towards him, “Kaito, that wasn’t nice. Apologize to Shoto then after Hiroto, now.” I said sternly

“Hah! Or else what?!” He replied in a shaky voice, trying to keep cool as he was a bit of a tsundere.

“Or else, I won’t give you your onigiri. And I’m not gonna tuck you in bed tonight.” He immediately stood up and walked in front of Shoto with an embarrassed and scared expression on his face.

“Mom, his face looks scary!” He whispered-yelled at me with a pleading face, asking for mercy.

“He’s not scary at all, Kai! He’s pretty handsome in fact, but pretty cold!” Hikari commented, while still clinging onto Shoto’s right leg

“Do it.” I replied back with a glare

“F-Fine… I-I” Taiko looked up to see Shoto staring at him a bit curious, “I’m sorry okay for trying to hit you with the soccer ball while using my quirk! But in my defense, you nor anyone will ever be good enough to be my mom/sister’s boyfriend!” He yelled, running behind the kitchen counter to shield himself from Shoto’s but mostly mine, gazes.

“That’s not what you're supposed to say!”

“Well what did you want me to say exactly?! Sorry for being an overprotective sibling and I approve of you dating-“ As Kaito went out of his hiding spot to storm towards you, he slipped and hit his head on the floor.

Shoto who stood in front of me trying to get me to calm down previously and tell me what my sibling did was okay and he was just being protective of me. I literally shoved him and ran to my sibling, placing his head on my lap and crying frantically. Looking over for any injuries or signs of concussion.

Shoto who stumbled back from me shoving him off, caught his balance and walked towards you. Activating his ice and inspecting the big bruise forming on my siblings head. There wasn’t any blood so that was good at least.

“An Angel…? No it's even better, mom?” He blinked, tears pouring down from his face from the pain.

“Yes! Are you alright?! Please stay awake, we need to make sure you don’t have any concussions! Shoto put your ice on him, please!” I cried frantically, not being able to keep my composure when it comes to my siblings.

“Did you and that guy?” He glared at Shoto though thankful for the icy cold hand on his bruise making it feel better, “Drink any slurpees, specifically red and blue?” He asked seriously

“Yes…? Why…?” My eyes widen in surprise and the tears stopped as well because of this

“I noticed them… And why are both your tongues violet?!”

Shoto stood silently with a blush while he watched me in slight amusement trying to explain why both our tongues were violet, “Huh?! It’s not what it looks like I swear! We just swapped-“

“Curse you peppermint candy! How dare you taint my mother! She’s still a virgin!”

“Kaito!” Me, Hikari, and Hiroto yelled in unison at him

“I’m glad.” Shoto added bluntly, making me dive my face into my hands in embarrassment

That was the first time Shoto had ever met my siblings and went to my house. After that, he began coming to my house more and more often. Finding himself liking it and feeling more comfortable there than in his own home.

2nd interaction: Todoroki Shoto meeting his s/o’s parents

Shoto was at my house again, this time he had already been here a few times before and met all of my family, except for my parents. Not until now.

Both my parents walked out of their office and walked past me and my siblings while Shoto was in the bathroom. They completely ignored us but in respect we greeted them politely. We were about to go out separate ways again had it not been for my siblings wanting their attention. It can’t be helped, children will always crave attention from their parents.

“Mother, look nee-san has a boyfriend and she brought him today.” Hikari said excitedly, trying to get a response from her biological mother

Notice how she said mother instead of mom. Hikari being the youngest one out of all of us, hasn’t really accepted that our parents don't really care for us. I mean we did try to hide it from her, shielding her from the harsh reality, but I think she’s starting to catch on.

“Is this true?” My mother gave me a questioning look

“Yes…” I looked away, trying to avoid everyone’s gazes

“Concentrate on becoming a hero and keeping the Family prestige, we’ve already begun to downgrade ever since the business wasn’t doing quite well with our competitors having more recent technology while ours has begun to downgrade. We simply don’t want you having any distractions which will lead to your downfall as well.” My father said sternly, looking at me intensely with tired eyes

“Who is this boy?” My mother questioned me crossing her arms in front of her chest

“I’m her boyfriend, it’s nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. (L/n).” Shoto suddenly stood besides me which startled everyone, he gave out his hand for my father to shake

My fathers eyes narrowed as he shook Shoto’s hands making my anxiety rise to the top, “(Y/n) never mentioned she had a boyfriend, how come we’re only hearing about this now? Also how’s your father doing with him being number 1 now, is he interested in some support gear?”

“Aren’t you, Todoroki Shoto? Son of Endeavor?” My mother pushed me aside to inspect Shoto

“Yes, miss.” Shoto replied, slightly uncomfortable at the mention of the number 1 hero.

“(Y/n), we approve of him.” My mother turned to look at me for a second then back to Shoto, “Does your father or his sidekicks need new gear? We’ll be giving out discounts since you're my daughter's boyfriend as long as you guys buy in bulk.”

“Mother, please. I think you’re making him uncomfortable.” I pleaded, trying to push my siblings out of the hallway and back into their rooms whilst trying to get Shoto out of the very uncomfortable situation.

“Nonsense, (Y/n). You should have introduced us to your boyfriend sooner.” My parents began giving Shoto more attention than me or my siblings had ever received in our entire life.

“We should have a formal dinner, getting to know each other. Todoroki, you should invite your family.” My father interjected

“We have a free schedule on this Thursday, there’s a new restaurant that opened near here. We should go there.” My parents began to overwhelm Shoto

‘Shit! What do I do?!’ I screamed watching my parents like hawks as they corner Shoto, who didn’t like the situation one bit but still held an unemotional expression. I could tell because of how his eyebrows were scrunched up and his eyes drifting towards mine, pleadingly.

“Mom, we got this.” Kaito, being the angel he was whispered to me

Relief overtook me as I ran and grabbed Shoto by the arm making a dash towards the front door, “Thanks, I owe you one.” I winked at them

Not a problem, Kai mouthed back. Walking towards his biological parents, ready to deal with their lecture and scolding. Internally I was super guilty and grateful to him, he always had my back and loyalty. All of my siblings do.

3rd interaction: Todoroki Shoto getting to know Hikari

“Nee~ Hikari, since your older sister is becoming a pro hero won’t that mean she’s going to leave you?” A girl who wore the same uniform as Hikari spoke out

“Mom becoming a pro hero is the coolest thing ever! But I know that she’ll ever leave me and my siblings, she just wouldn’t do that!” Hikara countered, not liking where the topic was going

“But Hikara, surely you know how busy pro heroes are and haven’t you heard your sister is aiming to rank in the top 10?” Another classmate of Hikara with blonde hair pushed Hikari a bit, trying to pull a reaction from her.

“Yeah, I know about it and I completely support her! But she’d never forget us! She’s our mommy!”

“Hey, how about this instead? To prove your sister isn’t gonna ever leave you, how about you and your sister come to my birthday party next week, this Saturday? She can also bring her classmates like Red Riot, Deku, and Froppy!” The blonde-haired kid shook Hikari harshly and cornered her into a nearby wall.

In fear Hikara began to stutter, voice breaking as her eyes began to gloss, “I-I don’t think that’s a g-good id-ea… I recall h-her saying how she’s g-gonna be really-… busy with her internship…!”

Turning on her quirk, the blonde kid got into a fighting position, “Look, I don’t care about that. Figure something out or else I’ll ruin your reputation and no one will want to be friends with you. I can assure you, you’ll be completely alone like a loser!”

“Stop it! You’re scaring me!” Hikara began to cry as she cowered into the corner wishing that her mom was there to comfort her.

“Look, she’s crying!”

“She’s going to go back crying to her sister!”

“Why’d you even call your sister mom again?!”

“That’s because her real mom doesn’t care for her!”

“You’re such a loser!”

“The only thing cool about you is your sister!”

“And you said you wanted to become a pro hero like your sister! Yet you can’t even defend yourself, how much more other people!”

The six girls began to circle Hikara like vultures about to pounce on their prey while they chanted words of insult towards Hikari. They activated their quirk and were about to use them when suddenly Shoto, who was heading towards the direction of your house, just happened to walk by what was happening.

He immediately recognized Hikara’s terrified voice and immediately intervened. Speaking sternly in a low and scary voice while glaring at the girls to get out, not before apologizing to Hikari. In response to Shoto’s scary face they jumped, apologizing to Hikari then running away from the scene.

“Stupid kids…” Shoto mumbled under his breath, “Are you alright? Do you have any injuries? Please stop crying. I've already dealt with your classmates.” Shoto grimaced, not really sure what to do about his girlfriend's crying sister.

“I was s-so scared!” The little girl ran into Shoto’s arms, hugging him in comfort

“Please calm down.” Kind of flustered at the situation, he awkwardly patted the girl on the head, hugging her back stiffly.

“T-Thank you, Todoroki…” Shoto’s heart warmed at that, your sister really was polite and adorable.

“No problem, if you ever need any help. I’m always here for your family.” He gave the girl a small smile as she began to finally calm down, “We should inform your sister about this as well, are you alright with that?”

“N-No… I don’t want mom to worry or have any more burdens…” Hikara tightened the hug

“You know you’re not a burden, especially towards your sister. I’m sure she’ll feel glad that you’re being open towards her.”

“Mom is taking care of us already, that’s more than enough. Please don’t tell her, I’m begging you.” She clutched onto his hand, giving him the best puppy eyes she could muster up.

“Alright, I respect your wishes. I won’t tell your sister but please try to be more open to her. What happened back there was really serious.” He sighed, slightly frustrated that he couldn’t tell you since it was about your sister whom he knew you cared greatly about

“It’s okay, it was my fault after all…”

Shoto doubted that, he couldn’t see everything that happened; he only got to the part where they ganged up on her, “How come?”

“They wanted me to bring mom and her friends to Misturi’s birthday next week. But I can’t because you guys have internships next week! So I told them about that and they didn’t like it! I’m sure I have no friends anymore and that I’m uninvited to her birthday!” The little girl huffed and began crying again

Shoto sighed at her explanation, “Listen, Hikari… None of it is your fault and based on what you just told me. None of them were your true friends to begin with. I guess they only like you because (Y/n) is becoming a hero. But that’s fine because not everyone is gonna like us or be nice to us. Some people use us for their own gain and that’s fine because we just have to distinguish those people and we’re also not alone. We have other people who’ll help us no matter what, the right person will come at the right time. And they won’t use us, they’ll stay by our side and those people are our real friends, and it doesn’t matter if those people are our family or outside of our family as regardless they’re our real friends and you can even consider them as your own family. Do you get me?” He hugged the little girl who reminded him so much of you as he gave a speech

“Hmm, I see… Thank you…” The girl hummed in response to Shoto’s little speech, “Can we still not tell my mommy about this though? She’s already stressed out as much as it is and I just want to forget about this. Can you p-promise me?” She sniffled as she held out her pink for him to take.

“… I promise.” Shoto didn’t like keeping secrets from you but she respected your sister's wish and so he’ll uphold it, “Hop on my back, I’m sure you’re tired so I’ll carry you home while you sleep.”

“Alright, thanks.” It didn’t took long before the child fell asleep on him

Walking back home, Shoto was slightly amused and worried about how frantic and panicked you looked when you realized your little sister hadn't returned home until you saw her fast asleep on Shoto’s back. The relief that flooded your eyes when you saw that she was safe and sound. Tears almost poured out even, you helped Shoto settle her onto her bed, to continue letting her sleep in peace.

“Thank you Shoto, I thought something had happened to her!” I cried into his arms the moment we stepped out of Hikari’s room, “I don’t know what I would’ve done!”

“Shh… It’s alright, nothing gonna happen while I’m here. I’m always here to help out and watch out for you and your siblings.”

“Thank you again, it really means a lot...”

“It’s no problem, I love you.” He kissed me

“I love you too.” I pulled him into the kiss even harder

4th interaction: Todoroki Shoto getting to know Hiroto

When Shoto had failed his provisional license and was forced to retake it along with Bakugo and the other students. Camie, the blonde girl from their competing school wouldn’t stop blabbering flirts left and right, specifically targeting Shoto.

Shoto being the dense bitch he is, never noticed a single thing. However, a certain Hiroto who was part of the class that Todoroki and the others were assigned to, noticed. And he was livid about how Todoroki didn’t really turn her down, but sometimes indulged in her questions.

Unbeknownst to Todoroki and the others that Hiroto was a part of this class, they continued to go on about their lives. Hiroto who usually never joined in on the class antics, because of how he was so introverted around his classmates. But his whole quiet nice guy personality did a full turn.

When it came to his mom, he’d do anything for her! And what Camie did, flirting with his mom’s boyfriend took things to a whole new level of personal. He was going to make her life a living Hell. Hiroto decided to keep his identity a secret in order to observe how Todoroki would handle the situation.

When Hiroto saw that Todoroki never really did anything, well you could say he wasn’t only pissed at Camie. He was going to do his best so that hero Shoto would not be able to receive his hero license and of course this revenge plan wouldn’t be complete if he didn’t include Camie. He had another devious plan for her…

“Hey, Todoroki! What’s your number?” Camie asked Todoroki right in front of the class they were supposed to correct their behavior.

“Why would you need it?” Shoto questioned in confusion

“Tsk!” Bakugo interrupted, immediately spotting Hiroto in the crowd of students but decided not to say anything.

It was easy enough for literally anyone to figure out that Hiroto was your sibling from looks alone since you looked exactly like him, just in the opposite gender. Hiroto was giving Shoto the death glare from all the way in the back of the class.

It was like bloodlust was pouring out of him, Hell even some of his classmates and including his teacher steered away from him. In fear of becoming the receiving end of his soon coming outrage.

‘Tsk, icy-hot good luck dealing with your girlfriend's brother, I respect the kid thought since the first time I met him. He’s definitely out for your blood.’ Bakugo thought proudly, looking at Hiroto with a smug smirk whilst the little boy continued to throw deadly death glares at the dual-haired boy. ‘Oh, this is gonna be so much fun.’

Time skip

Hiroto's quirk was the ability to control earth elements, mostly the ground but it would expand the more he develops. A very powerful quirk which he has yet to be able to control, he however was able to practice it a bit whenever you were home and not busy.

Those times were his favorite times with you since none of his other siblings would get to hog you to themselves since you’d be so busy tending to him.

So while Todoroki who was somehow dense enough not to notice the death glares being thrown at him from Hiroto. The usually behaved child (More behaved than the rest of his class) began to conspire and strategize with their class leader ways to make sure the heroes will bend to them.

Starting of with the chaos from the class, they began to use their quirks. And bully Shoto about being Five Wennies, a nickname Hiroto will definitely tell Kaito about so that they can bully him afterwards as well. Within the chaos Hiroto continued to hide and blend in with his classmates as to not be discovered. And he also made an agreement with his friends to do their best to make Camie fail.

When one of female children with brown hair tied in a ponytail started to have a crush on Five Wennies that’s when Hiroto turned his back on her. And they began fighting over who gets to date Five Winnies, her or his sister. Even though Hiroto was mad at Todoroki, he couldn’t help but feel inclined to defend him for his sister. The fight was a childish feud, had it not been for the fact they were both using quirks which could lead to someone getting seriously injured.

The teachers informed Shoto to take care of it, knowing the relationship of the kid and his girlfriend. Everything went ballistic between the two children so Shoto had to use his quirk to dissipate the fight and tension. Dark gray smoke covered the area and Shoto was still yet to discover that the one causing so much trouble was Hiroto. Multiple coughs rang through the air along with some groans and moans when the smoke finally dissipated everyone stared intently and anxiously about what was gonna happen next.

“Hiroto what are you doing?” Shoto asked in pure confusion at the boy

“Getting revenge!!” He yelled, quickly standing up and running at him

A large boulder hurled at Shoto, but having more experience in fighting than the child. It didn’t take much of his energy to stop it in its tracks with his ice. The dual haired boy was shocked and confused to say the least. Out of all your siblings, he expected Kaito to do something like this.

Hiroto ran around the iceberg and was exhausted at this point. There wasn’t much he could do before he’d pass out and Shoto knew it. The little boy had overused his quirk and this was the result of it. So quickly Shoto ran up to the boy as well, meeting him in the middle just in time before he fell to the ground.

He caught him in his arms and looked at him in worry, his eyes were barely open and a fever was forming. He knelt to the ground while still carrying the boy to make it easier for him. Hiroto was still fuming with hatred for the dual haired boy but was barely awake at this point. In his frustration, he did the only logical thing a kid would do. He cried, in fact threw a tantrum.

“How dare you!” The boy cried, punching Shoto weakly in the chest

“Hiroto calm down. You’re forming a fever and way too exhausted from overusing your quirk. Go to sleep.” Shoto spoke calmly but panicked on the inside

“No! You’re cheating on my sister! I hate you!” He barely croaked out with a shaky voice.

And with that Hiroto had finally succumbed to his fatigue. Slight tears formed at the corners of Shotos eyes at those words. He didn’t know why Hiroto thought he was cheating on (Y/n)! But it hurts like Hell to ever think of hurting (Y/n)! And the look on Hiroto’s face when he stared at Todoroki was one filled with resentment, a look that reminded Shoto the one he gives his father everyday. Never ever, would he think of physically or emotionally abusing anyone! Especially (Y/n), his own girlfriend! He’d rather die instead of becoming his father!

And so Shoto froze at that, his heart shattering as he realized that despite not cheating he had hurt Hiroto immensely, by something he didn’t even know what he did. Shoto traced back to his mind the memories of what he did within this day, had he forgotten to say I love you to you before he left? Had he accidentally insulted you with his blunt comments? What?! Just what was it?!

Unbeknownst to Shoto, Bakugo knew what the fuck was going on from the beginning as he knew what social clues were. And he was absolutely livid to think that one of his friends from the Bakusquad got kinda unintentionally cheated on, not really since there weren’t any intentions but it’s for the plot and I don’t know what else to do lol. And so Bakugo walked up to Shoto and punched him across the face. Luckily Shoto didn’t punch back or stumble as he still had Hiroto in his arm and instead glared at him, furious why he suddenly did that.

“Icy-hot, that bitch Camie flirted with you and you didn’t even realize that. You even engaged in it without realizing it, are you that fucking dense?!” Bakugo yelled

“Damn it. I didn’t…” Shoto replied honestly while placing his right hand on Hiroto’s forehead activating it and effectively bringing his ever growing fever down

“Then take the fucking hint and fix up your shit. I’m not going to help (Y/n) if she ever comes crying to me about this. You’re in deep shit.” The blonde boy growled

Time skip

Todoroki got his shit together and finished their retake successfully and avoided Camie at all cost this time like she was the plague but by this time she didn’t care as she had already scored his phone number and was in belief that she had a shot with him despite him already telling her he’s dating the most prettiest girl in the world. Apparently in her words and eyes which kept roaming around his body, making him extremely uncomfortable, that his little girlfriend didn’t need to know anything if only he kept his mouth sealed which he quickly shut down again.

Bakugo’s words of threat never left his mind, he knew that the boy was just looking out for you as you were a part of the Bakusquad and still his classmate as well. Shoto was anxious and scared shitless of what was going to happen next as he waited in the infirmary for your little brother to wake up, never leaving his side once. It didn’t take much longer before Hiroto finally awoke and saw Shoto sitting in a chair waiting for him with great anticipation. His right leg bouncing up and down in a fast rhythm to an unknown song.

“I don’t want you here, get out you cheater!” Hiroto yelled with a scratchy voice

“Listen, I can explain-“ Shoto began but was cut out

“I don’t want to hear any of your pathetic excuses! You knew how much we trusted you yet you cheated! You liar!”

“I won’t leave until you listen and you can’t make me leave.” Shoto replied calmly, his emotions more stable than earlier having already thought the situation through.

“Ack-!” The little boy groaned as he was unable to his his quirk now that he’s over used it, “Fine, I’m giving you 2 minutes tops. Don’t make me regret it.” He finished, growling slightly

“I didn’t grow up with the best figures in my life and because of that I lack the necessary social skills.”

“Yeah, and what about us? You see my parents caring about me and mom or even my siblings?” Hiroto was beginning to sound more and more like Kaito rather than himself

“I have a sister too, but unlike (Y/n), my sister Fuyumi wasn’t as successful as bringing our family together. It means I didn’t have a sister teaching me what’s right or wrong, I hadn’t realized that Camie was flirting with me and that I engaged with it. I only thought about it as her asking questions to be more knowledgeable about us. I was wrong and I realize that now. I should have told her that I was dating (Y/n). I’ve already talked about it to Camie and set her straight, although I haven’t talked about it to your sister.”

“Fine. You’re excused but this is the only time you get a get out of jail free card. And don’t think we’re immediately buddies now, you’ve got to earn my trust now that you’ve broken it.” The little boy growled at him

“I’ll be sure to do my best to earn it back.” Shoto replied with the most apologetic tone he could muster up, “And don’t worry I’ll be sure to tell your sister the truth.” He grimaced, worried about your reaction and if he had put your relationship in danger.

“You’re such a dumbass and asshole, Icy-hot. She’s sensitive about those, one word about it and she’s dumping you. I’m not even sure if you’ll be able to explain yourself.” Bakugo said as he strode in the room.

“Watch your language, Hiroto is still a child and I won’t tolerate you saying those in front of him.” Shoto growled at Bakugo, glaring at him and warning him not to do it again.

The said boy only scoffed in response, “Tch. Whatever.”

“It’s fine… But I also have to say that I agree with what Bakugo-san said, you see my sister is fearful about anything related to cheating.” Hiroto added, looking down in his lap worried for his mom.

“What do you mean?” Shoto questioned as far as he was concerned he was your first boyfriend and you never had much experience in the dating community.

“That bitch didn’t tell you as well, great just fucking great.” Bakugo rolled his eyes, “The only thing I know is that she had this thing with a guy but they were never able to get together as another girl came into the picture. Ever since that she’s been sensitive about that shit.” Bakugo huffed in annoyance.

“I see…” Shoto responded quietly, not really sure what to do with this information, “I don’t want to keep this from her but if what happened earlier hurts her then I’d rather keep it to myself.” Unconsciously Shoto gaslighted himself into believing it was fine to not tell his girlfriend he accidentally flirted with another girl.

“I’d rather keep my moms mental health standing strong.”

“Tch. Whatever.” Just as quickly as he entered, the blonde boy left the room promptly, silence following him.

“Hiroto, get some rest. I'm taking you back home in a while.” Shoto spoke, breaking the silence of the room and pushing the boy's shoulder back into the bed.

“Hey, uhh…” Hiroto began shyly earning a hum from the dual haired boy, “Treat my mom right, okay? We love her a lot and I’m giving you my trust on this”

“Of course, I never want to hurt your sister. I love her as well.” Shoto smiled gently, “Now sleep, you’re sister is worried about you.”

After that interaction, Shoto went out of the room for a bit to call his girlfriend to let her know that her brother was in the infirmary but is currently doing fine. He knew that you over worry about your siblings all the time even for the smallest of reasons, one of the things he loves about you.

But still in his heart, he’s guilty and feels absolute remorse about what happened. All he can think about is that it’s all his fault for being dense. Not being able to express his emotions well or tell what other people’s thoughts, emotions, and emotions are when it comes to love. In these times is where he truly renounces and feels hatred for his father and his doings. In these times he wished he never had a quirk to begin with, he’d rather be poor and quirkless than be born to a monster who disguises himself as a hero.

Ring…

Ring… Ring…

Ring… Ring… Ring…

With each ring Shoto’s anxiety and guilt rose up but being known for concealing his feelings and being unemotional it wasn’t hard at all to hide all of that guilt. Though it still ate him up, and it would be only a matter of time until he breaks or perhaps someone else does the break or better yet spilling some information on him to his beloved girlfriend.

“Hey Shoto! Are you done with your retest already? You should come over to my place. I'm making dinner and it’s cold soba, your favorite!” The girl cheered happily

“Hey, (Y/n)… Thanks, I'd like that a lot…” His heart cracked at the thought of you making him his favorite good for dinner, proving to him just how much you love him while he went behind your back.

“Is there anything wrong? You don’t really sound like yourself?” You questioned in worry, ready to do whatever it takes to help him feel better.

“At my retest… we were supposed to reform a class as the students were out of control but it turns out that class was Hiroto’s. He got in a fight with his classmate which resulted in him overusing his quirk and fainting.” He said almost breaking down from the guilt, in his mind the only thought that was running was that he was turning into his father for hurting someone he loved.

“WHAT!?! Why didn’t you inform me earlier! Is he alright! What exactly happened! Nevermind! I’m heading there instead, I’ll meet you in 5-10 minutes! By-“

He wiped a tear off his face and pulled himself together, clearing his throat he put an unemotional expression on with quite difficulty, “(Y/n), love.” Shoto said in his most calm and sincere voice hoping that it sounded as real as possible, it ultimately resulted in making you calm down as well and bring out your rational side, further pulling at Shotos heart how much he had an effect on you.

“Ack- Shoto…” I start to tear up, unable to understand why my brother had to go through that, “My brother he’s a good kid, he has never gotten into any fights before or-“ My emotions become overflowed and overwhelming that I just sobbed hysterically, “God! What kind of sister am I if I can’t keep an eye on my own siblings! I’m such a failure.”

At this point Shoto’s guilt had eaten him up so much that he was going to explain everything from Camie down to Hiroto arriving at the clinic. But in the back of his mind, he was reminded of Bakugo’s and Hiroto’s. Of how if he tried to tell you what happened, more specifically about him flirting with another woman no matter how unintentional it may have been, would result in his ass getting dumped. He in fact didn’t want his ass getting dumped so he did the most stupid thing he ever did in his life, and that was not listening to his gut instinct.

“Love, he’s alright and don’t worry you’re doing the best you can do and it’s more than enough. It isn't your fault at all, alright? I believe that your brother just got into some disagreement with his classmate about you. He just wanted to defend your name so once he gets home don’t lecture or get mad at him. Okay? And don’t worry I’ll be the one to bring him to you so just prepare dinner, we’ll be there on time.” Shoto said in his sweetest voice he could muster, bullet swears running down his face in anxiousness.

To Shoto, it felt like this was his most dangerous mission he’s ever taken and will ever take and that one wrong word would ruin it all.

“I-I… Alright, I’m just worried about him, you know? Thank you, baby. I’ll wait for you guys.” He could hear you wiping away your tears but your voice still continued to crack but despite that you pushed through and smiled gratefully at him through the phone.

Shoto smiled, thanking the heavens that he managed to not get his ass dumped today. But let’s just see how long he’ll keep this secret up, because as we all know the truth always comes out one way or another…

That night he brought Hiroto back home to you on his back, like what happened with Hikara. It gave him deja vu when he saw you fussing over Hiroto to make sure he wasn't harmed in any way, all the while profusely bowing down and thanking your boyfriend for taking care of your sibling.

Though his heart shattered at the thought of hurting you and not being able to apologize for it. For fear of losing you for the rest of his life. It scared him shitless. People came and left his life, but of all people he just couldn’t let you go. You're his first girlfriend, his first love! You’ve already left a mark in his life and no matter what he does it won’t ever change. He felt so selfish, he loathed the feeling. A part of him wanted you to choose someone better, someone who isn’t as dense as him, someone who didn’t have a lot of emotional baggage, someone who didn’t have a big ugly scar on their face…

But despite feeling all that self loathing, no matter what, he’d do anything to make you not leave him. He’d hate himself even more. His love for you was for eternity. It’s completely endless! So please! Don’t go and leave him and take his heart with you! He’s been through Hell and back through his entire life, so please just… Don’t leave…

In these moments, Shoto felt like he was exactly like his father. He hurt the ones he loved and didn’t apologize for it. His heart cried internally, but outside he kept a poker face, it was one of the things in life he was great at since a very young age. He learned to separate his inner turmoil with his emotions and with time he got so great at it.

Shoto after that began to gaslight himself into believing that what he did was right, and that he was just over thinking things, in truth he could bare the pain in his heart for hurting you, if he didn’t he would have rather stabbed his heart for daring to even hurt you, he was supposed to protect you. He promised that much to your siblings and to think he believed that he was a man of his words.

Look at him now… Turning back on those who he loves and loves him. God… He was his fathers son after all, perhaps he was just as arrogant as that tyrant, perhaps he abused those around him without even realizing it. It felt like all the progress he had made led him back to where he was at the sports festival right before finally Midoriya snapped him into reality with your help of course.

A hopeless boy, a boy filled with hatred, a boy who despite having everything at the touch of his fingertips was never truly happy… Shoto began to lie to himself that evening when he gave you a big and tight hug and pulled you into an unexpected but not unwelcome kiss, one that he poured all his passion into.

That night Shoto began to whisper sweet words into your ears nonstop and began to be more open of his love to you. It was weird of course, Shoto was never the open type to be so open about being affectionate. This was the first time he was really being affectionate, making you wonder what happened but you decided to keep your mouth shut wanting to enjoy the moment and attention since you guys did something that only you guys should know about as you both enjoyed a fiery passionate night. Something you’d regret in the future.

5th interaction: Todoroki Shoto getting to know Kaito

A few weeks after that night had passed and Shoto had already forgotten about the Camie incident but still he was trying his best to make it up to you, giving you surprise gifts and being more open and affectionate. Something you took gladly without hesitation, not questioning it’s his true intentions. Shoto walked into your house and was looking for you, for your date.

You told him you were home and to just let himself in through text, your last message being around 8-10 minutes ago. As Shoto began to search where you were in the house, it never occurred to him you could have been taking a shower and that you were that’s why when he knocked the door and no one responded, he immediately assumed you were there. Not being all to hear the running water from the shower.

He gave up and assumed that maybe you were talking and hanging out with your siblings in their rooms so he first went to Hikari’s, then Hiroto’s, and lastly Kaito. Kaito who was still going through puberty had a very high voice, somewhat similar to yours making him think that it was your whimper he heard coming from the room.

He knocked 3 times politely on the door, “W-Wait-!”

It was too late and Shoto had already opened the door. Kaito was on the floor in front of his bed in a arms wrapped around his knees in a cradling position, looking at a piece of crumpled paper resembling that of a card in dispiritedness.

“You’re not supposed to be here, get out…!” Kaito’s voice cracked, he was still crying, yelling out in frustration at Shoto.

“What’s wrong?” Shoto asked, disregarding Kaito’s initial words

“Get out…!” Kaito yelled and wanted to literally push Shoto out of his room himself but he didn’t have the energy to do that so he scoffed and rolled his eyes at his moms boyfriend, “… Tsk… Whatever just don’t tell anyone else what you saw, especially mommy.”

“Why not?” Shoto asked calmly

“Because they don’t deserve this!” Kaito burst out crying once again.

Shoto felt guilty for not leaving the room in the first place, disrespecting Kaito’s privacy but in the end Shoto recall you saying to him multiple times that your siblings meant the world to you and if anything bad were to happen to them, you wouldn’t know what to do.

And it seemed like something bad did happen so Shoto would need to rely on his hero instincts to get him through this mission seeing as his Emotional intelligence wasn’t as high as his intellectual intelligence.

Sitting down next to the boy Shoto asked paitently and calmly, “It’s alright, you can vent to me if you want and I promise I won’t tell your sis- your mom.”

Kaito groaned and sighed in defeat, “Fine, if you do I’ll make my mom hate you.” His threat was real and filled with malice

“I promise.” Shoto patted his back in comfort

“I-I… I’m going back…” Kaito swallowed his pride and a single year was shed, “A grade. I failed in a single subject so now I’m being held back… I-It’s just not fair! I studied! I r-really did! But I failed! I’m such a disappointment! A bad kid!” Kaito yelled out hysterically and wrapped his arms even tighter around his legs.

Shoto gulped and tried to remember what his mom did to him as a kid to comfort him whenever his dad hurt him with all those harsh training. He scooted even closer to Kaito and hugged him, Shoto was stiff of course but he was doing his best by saying that it’s alright and there wasn’t any need to cry over it and going a grade isn’t a big deal. And no one is disappointed in him, he did his best and that’s all that should matter.

After a while Kaito finally seemed to calm down and was actually appreciative of what his moms boyfriend did for him.

“I guess, you’re not so bad after all…” Kaito whispered to himself

6th interaction: Todoroki Shoto and his s/o breaking up and getting back together with the help of his s/o’s siblings

We were at the (L/n) household, Shoto was upstairs playing ang keeping all my siblings entertained while I was downstairs making us all snacks. It was late in the afternoon when I heard a phone vibrate in my pocket. Instinctively I grabbed it and unlocked it only to realize it wasn’t my phone, Shoto and I must’ve switched accidentally. I laughed slightly at the realization until I saw the notification that popped up. It was a text message and I knew it was wrong to invade Shotos privacy but before he didn’t mind me using his phone without his permission until recently which made me a bit suspicious.

Unknown: Hey Shoto! Are you still up for it? Your girlfriend doesn’t need to know after all🙈👀

Shoto: Sorry, your contact isn’t saved. Who is this?

Unknown: Silly boy! Good thing that you’re hot!!🥵 It’s Camie!! Remember the girl from the retake for the hero license?

My eyes widened in panic and fear as she I remembered exactly who she was.

Shoto: Of course, what is it that you want?

Camie: I was wondering if you’re still up to sneaking in my dorm tonight, my bed feels empty babe😭💔

Camie: *Sends a risky photo of herself*

Shoto: *Seen*

Shoto: Fuck you and your ugly ass!! I never want to see you ever again so get lost bitch!!! Be a home wrecker to someone else’s relationship and btw good luck when these photos get out😈

Camie: *Seen*

I dropped the phone on the counter and immediately started fuming, trying my best to stay calm as I immediately picked it up and screenshotted the conversation and sent it to my own phone through email so Shoto wouldn’t have noticed. It hurt so damn but I was angry too, so angry at Camie that at that moment I only wanted revenge. I thought that I didn’t have the heart to send out her photos but damn was it tempting right about now. But of course, I was a hero in training, I wouldn’t actually do it.

I calmed myself down and that’s when I remember that it takes two to tango. And I was livid at him right now but I also couldn’t bear the thought of losing him or hurting him, I loved him too much too. To dedicate yourself to someone only to find out that they were cheating on you behind your back with the same girl as all those years ago. And what’s even worse was to give yourself to that person, only then did tears begin to pool my eyes.

Old insecurities and bottled up feelings came pouring out of me and the next thing I knew was that I was sobbing quietly on my knees since my siblings were distracted watching a movie on the TV loudly. Only then is when Shoto came running down worriedly as if he had this instinct to know if I was in trouble. He headed towards me with my siblings following suit once they heard him come down and that’s when they saw me crying. Shoto was panicked and confused as to why I was like this and was about to hug me in comfort whenhis eyes landed on the phone on the counter and he realized that the inevitable finally happened, the truth got out.

“(Y/n), please believe me it’s not what it looks like!” Shoto begged

“Everyone except Shoto, I want you up right now and blasting music in your rooms. Understand?!” I yelled through tears and demanded for my siblings to head upstairs, embarrassed to have been caught by them when I was breaking down.

They complied immediately and ran back upstairs to their rooms and Shoto walked towards me carefully and hesitantly as if one wrong move would make me disappear.

“Shoto! Why?! How could you do this to me!!” I screamed through stutters as my voice cracked

This was the first fight we ever had and also the first time I ever yelled at him, “(Y/n) please let me explain! I’m begging you!! I can’t lose you!!” The usually calm and collected boy was gone in an instant, replaced by a desperate man

“I think everything has already been explained! Out!! I want you out of here!! And we’re over, I never want to see your face ever again!!” I yelled at him through tears

Before he could say anything but internally his heart and brain was screaming at his to do something. I grabbed his phone and pushed it onto his chest and grabbed my phone from him while dragging his ass outside and locking the door behind me.

“If you ever thought you could disrespect me like that! Think again Todoroki! So that’s why you’ve been acting strange these days!! Was that all I was too you? Some girl you could use as a body in your bed? Is this why you’ve been giving me so much attention recently? Cuz you can’t handle the guilt of fucking her!!! Am I a joke to you!! Did you really fuck her then me?! I bet you’re happy now and break to leave me now that you’ve had your fill!! Why couldn’t you keep it in your own pants!!” I yelled behind the door so quickly that he couldn’t interject and explain

“NO- love please don’t call me by my last name, it me Shoto.“ His voice boomed in desperation as his tears threatened to fall down his eyes, “(Y/n) you aren’t a joke to me and I highly respect you!! So please believe me when I say I didn’t cheat on you! You have to believe me! And you aren’t just someone I sleep with, you’re my girlfriend for crying out loud! I love you so much, I didn't use your body for anything, you have my word!”

“Love? You forfeit all right to my heart when you decide to cheat so how can I believe you? When the truth is staring right in front of me!? And wow Shoto you really know how to hurt me, of all people that’s the girl who you choose her! The girl who I was replaced with!” I sobbed even more at that

Shoto's heart felt like it was being stabbed and broken into a million shards of her words, “(Y/n)! God! Please listen to me, there is nothing that happened between us!!”

“Shoto do you even realize your actions doesn’t reflect your words? You slept with me only a few months ago right as the same time you started acting weirdly too affectionate, it adds up Todoroki!”

“(Y/n)! Please listen to my explanation and don’t open the door!! Just please! Nothing happened between me and her, it’s only you. It’s always only been you! I’m so stupid and I’m so sorry for everything!! This is all my fault!!”

“Oh! I made sure of that, good luck getting back with that homewrecker when all of this is over. You know, I hope you guys are soooo happy cuz whatever comes around goes around. I hope you know that Camie also sleeps with other guys on the weekends and that you’re just one of her playthings!! You know what I regret it all!!” I fell silent immediately though at his desperate choked scream

“No!!! Don’t say that, don’t say you regret it! Please I love you so much, that it hurts!! Please don’t regret anything, don’t regret loving me or giving yourself to me! I'm so so sorry!! (Y/N)!! Can’t you understand!!?? I love you and only you!! I never went to Camie or anything like that!! It’s still my fault though!! At the retest she kept flirting with me but- but I was so dense that I didn’t notice it and so when she asked for my number she gave it to me! After I realized what she was looking for I immediately shut it down but she wouldn’t listen and she wouldn’t take no for an answer even when I told her I had the best girlfriend in the world!! So please I’m really sorry (Y/n), I am begging you to believe me because I can’t live in a world without you in it!! My heart feels like it’s breaking into a million pieces just seeing you cry and even worst knowing that it’s my fault. I know I’m selfish!! But please. I don’t have anything else to look forward to in this life without you!! Before I met you life was dull and I was only trying to get through each day. I had never smiled or laughed so when I met you, you gave me happiness and unlocked a hidden part of myself that I didn’t know was buried!!” Shoto bawled his eyes out and served his raw and fragile heart to me as his emotions were borderline unstable, his emotions hugging high and wild

For some reason, my pride wouldn’t allow to see anything but red, “Run back to her then if you need some company!!” I was too angry to listen to reason, the feeling of betrayal and heartbreak overcoming anything else

“You’re so damn stubborn! But listen to me because you’re not hearing what I said! Becoming a hero is my dream no doubt and my goal but what’s the point if at the end of the day, all I’m fighting for is nothing. No laughter to return back home with, no delicious meals to look forward to, and even your siblings I love them all.” One could hear the desperation in his voice as he cried out

“Don’t bring my siblings into this… Why? Why then did you not tell me?” My voice was dry and weak from all the crying

“(Y/n)… We thought it was for the best that you didn’t know since you’re so sensitive to those kinds of topics. We just wanted to protect you…” He flinched

“We? Who the hell is we?”

“Me, Hiroto, and Bakugo…”

“You let a child decide? My brother especially? That seems like such a power dynamic. Thanks for informing me, I’ll get the real truth from him then. But aside from that, it wasn’t your decision to make! It wasn’t any of your decisions to make! I deserved to know the truth!! If that even is the truth!”

Shoto pounded on the door with his head, “It’s the truth! I swear to God it’s the truth so please (Y/n), just let me in! We can figure this out together, just- You need to trust me.” He was way too disheveled

I ignored him and from behind me all of my siblings who appeared of nowhere to hug me, “Guys… I’m so sorry you had to see me like this. Don’t worry, I’m strong.” Then I turned to Hiroto who was desperately clinging onto me, “Hiroto, please stay out of decisions like that. Understand?”

Tears welled up in the boys eyes, “Mom… I-I I’m so sorry! It’s not his fault it’s mine! I promise you, he’s telling the truth!! So please blame me, not him!!” The child wailed, tears finally broke down from his face as he kept pulling at me

“Hiroto. None of this is your fault, do you understand. Just please next time, let Todoroki deal with his own mistakes. He’s a big boy now.” I tried my best to calm him down, rubbing his back and whispering comforting words

“Mom.” Kaito spoke from behind me and rubbed my back as well in comfort, “Just get some closure and talk to him. Properly this time, no yelling just listen to his side of the story.”

“Kaito… It’s not that sim-“ I was cut off unfortunately by Hikari who jumped from behind me and hugged me tightly, crying her eyes out as well

“Talk to dad!!” She begged me to

“Dad?!” My eyes widened at the realization she called Shoto dad

My heart broke at their reactions and I knew that they were right but I didn’t want to let down my own pride but then again my siblings were the only people who could ever change my mind, I had to confront him one more time and actually resolve this issue but that didn’t make it any easier, “I-I… Fine… I’ll do it.” I got up and opened the door and walked out still hoping that he was still there waiting

I put a brave front and hardened myself and my emotions. I knew that despite Shoto being sorry for what he had done, my jealousy, insecurities and pride got the best of me and I couldn’t exactly control myself. On the steps connecting the house to the ground was where Shoto sat, who dove his face into the palms of his hands, still crying and broken over the breakup.

“Shoto. I’m out here to talk to you as per the request of my siblings so I suggest you don’t waste this opportunity.” I glared at him from behind with tears in my eyes

He turned around and before I could react he lunged at me with a hug and picked me up while stuttering out words of apologies, “I won’t d-do it again! I’m so s-o so s-sorry!! Please take me back! I swear I didn’t do anything with her, I was too dense to realize her asking for my number was her way of flirting with me! I never used yoh for your body or anything, I love you genuinely because you’re you!!” In front of me wasn’t future Pro Hero Shoto but just Shoto who was genuinely sorry for what he had done

My stone cold heart melted at his apology and the way he cried to me made me just want to hug him back and forgive him so I did just that, “I-I forgive you. I’m also at fault here for not telling you how sensitive I am to those topics and for also over reacting too much without actually listening to you.” I wailed in his arms as I finally hugged him back, “I was just so hurt and scared that you’ll run off to Camie cuz she also stole my ex-crush while he was trying to court me so I thought that she’d also be able to steal you from me. I didn’t want that but I instead pushed you away with my anger and everything went downhill!!” It felt good to release the truth, my shoulder felt light as well as my heart.

“I-I had no idea… it okay too, it honestly was my fault, I shouldn’t have even entertained her.” Shoto got on both of his knees and looked down in shame, “I’m so grateful that you’re taking me back but I feel like I didn’t apologize enough, I’ll do my best to make it up to you. I promise you that.”

I gave him and bittersweet smile and pulled him up, “It’s okay, I know you’re kinda dense, sorry. But yeah, you didn’t mean to do it. And I’m sure you were scared for my reaction about finding out about what happened and just wanted to protect me. Shoto, I forgive you so please stop blaming yourself.” I kissed him right after to which he immediately kissed back.

“I love you, you don’t even know how much but I love you with all my heart.” Shoto brushed my hair with his hands

“I love you too, to the moon and back” I kissed him once again

7th interaction: Todoroki Shoto realizing it’s time for a new beginning to start

On a peaceful Saturday morning, around 4 PM. The sky looked bright with barely any cloud covering up the sun, on days like these Shoto felt grateful for. With all the troubles he and his precious girlfriend went through over their years in U.A. they finally reached their end. Their final stage before becoming fully fledged heroes. And because of that, their school work had been piling up with no end.

You would’ve gotten it done easily the moment they were given but you were juggling and multitasking from focusing on your studies, hero training, and taking care of your siblings. So Shoto decided to just give you the break you deserve by hauling you over his shoulders and walking in the direction of his dorm room. All the while your siblings, who you snuck in the dorms following behind the both of you, giggling and making jokes about your dark eye bags which you responded by throwing a slipper in their direction but purposely missing. Shoto laid you on his futon and just ordered you to sleep much to your protest, but when your siblings jumped in as well and cuddled up to you to sleep, you decided that a couple hours of getting some sleep would be a really helpful recharge.

In the beginning of their relationship it was sweet and puppy love but throughout the passing time and harsh trials they were put in, especially with the third party incident back in their first year. It made his relationship with (Y/n) even stronger than before, making them try to understand each other and not just directly come to conclusions when a problem arises. It also made them more open to each other since, wanting nothing more than to never feel that sort of heartbreak ever again.

Looking around in his dorm room that had changed a lot throughout the 3 years his been in U.A. There were the 4 (L/n) siblings sleeping peacefully on his futon. Had you told him this was the sight he’d find himself in back in his first year when he was going through his rebellious phase he would’ve laughed at you. But now he couldn’t be more grateful of the sight as he secretly hid a small box with a ring in it in his underwear drawer that he had kept for years now, just waiting for the perfect moment to hand it to you. As he knew from the beginning he started dating you, you’d be his first, last, and only lover he’d have for the rest of his life. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[frick-en]

With a Tender Kiss, I'll Love You Always

Well golly. I haven't written fanfiction in ages. Anyway, I'm obsessed with Justin Herbert and in a soft mood, so I want to write something that'll give you a cavity or two.

It's not that good, but I needed to write this. For some reason.

Enjoy!

P.S. I didn't read over this. It is as I have written it.

The knocking on the door continues as you struggle to lift yourself off your bed with crutches. Grumbling to yourself, you finally find balance. Or at least as much balance as you can for someone with one functioning leg.

You hobble to your front door and check the peep hole. You only see the torso of your vertically gifted friend and the cause of your current misfortune.

Convincing you to go skiing for the first time ever was something no one else could do, but Justin Herbert made a compelling argument. And by that, he really just told you that he really wanted you to go skiing with him. You know you shouldn't turn into such a following, babbling, love-stricken idiot around him, but you couldn't turn that part of your brain off when he was around.

You unlock the door and hobble back as you swing it open. Justin reaches out to catch you as you start to lose balance again. He's very good at doing that.

"You ok?" He asks you. You only nod in response, feeling another shooting pain stream through your leg all the way up to your hip.

You and Justin make your ways to the couch. Justin grabs your hand and helps you sit more comfortably, setting your crutches against the side table. A lot easier to do than throw them in floor, which usually ends up happening when you try to prop them up somewhere.

"I can still get you a scooter, you know." Justin offers.

"I'd rather you get me a surgeon who will fix me up today," You grumble.

Justin sits beside you and smiles at you. That's all he really had to do to get you to smile back at him. But you can see it in his eyes that he's beating himself up. He feels more guilty over this than anything he's done in his life.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to say sorry enough times for this."

"Justin, stop. I'm not mad at you," You reassure him, but you know he won't feel any better about this.

"You still have to wait another week till surgery, right?" He asks.

"Unfortunately."

"What do you need me to do until then?"

There was one thing about this whole ordeal that has made it even more difficult to get over. And it's the fact that you haven't been able to shower. It's too dangerous. You've been told to take sponge baths until after surgery. It's kinda ridiculous sometimes, but that's healthcare for you.

"It's kinda weird," You begin.

"Whatever it is. I'll do it."

"I need help," You struggle to say what you need to say. Justin is a good friend of yours, and while you harbor potentially unrequited feelings for him, you don't want to make him uncomfortable. Justin is such a good friend to you. He's the whole reason why you've been able to come out of your shell and actually enjoy a lot of life's fun little quirks. That was until you trip over a larger than expected rock while skiing down a mountain of hard snow.

Justin was the first person by your side. He carried you out of the line of other skiers and stayed with you at the hospital.

"Are you gonna say it? Or do I need to guess?" Justin asks.

"Sorry. I," You sigh. "Please don't get weird about this."

"Then tell me," He responds, poking your arm playfully. This gesture allows you to realize just how close he is sitting to you.

"I really need to shower. But they told me not to because I could get hurt, and because I don't have a bathtub, I can't sit in a bath either. I can only take sponge baths until after the surgery. I just feel really gross, and I think if I smelled less like vanilla ass, then I'll feel better."

"You want me to give you a sponge bath?" He asks.

"I just need help with one. I'm not gonna make you do everything," You explain.

You tell Justin that you need a bowl of soapy water, preferably warm along with your sponge and a towel or two.

"Is that all?" Justin asks.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" You asks him noticing the slight pink tinge to his cheeks. Dimples on full display as he shakes his head.

"Thank you, Justin."

"You need me to stay here while you get cleaned up? I mean, in a different room."

"Sure. I might need your help," You respond. Justin nods and starts to walk away before you call him again, "Justin? Would you mind bringing me a clean shirt? I'm ashamed to say how long it's been since I've changed."

"Don't worry about it. I'll be right back," Justin responds. He walks back to your room and doesn't take long to bring back a familiar t-shirt. A green one with a big yellow "O" painted on it.

"I didn't know you had this," He says. "I've been looking for it honestly."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't bring myself to give it back."

Justin tosses you the shirt. He stands there waiting for you to give him your dirty clothes.

"Uhh... Sorry, I- Would you mind? Turning around?" You ask him.

"Oh! Sorry. I wasn't thinking," Justin turns around and holds his hand out for the shirt. You quickly switch t-shirts, deciding to wait until he leaves the room to take the shirt back off.

After taking your time to wash every crevice you could reach, you finally reach the most difficult part of this process. Your feet. You pull the leg of you sweatpants up and try to reach your sponge over to your feet. You feel that stinging, shooting pain again. And you're trying to clean your good foot. The splint on your other leg makes it surprisingly difficult in the position you're in to move your good leg.

You groan in pain and sit back on the couch. Taking a deep breath until the pain subsides. You sit back up and try to reach again with no luck.

You sigh. "Justin! You can come back in here now!"

Justin awkwardly enters the living room and sees you struggle to get your feet.

"You ok?" He asks. "You need help?"

"I'm sorry," You respond.

Justin walks over to the couch and crouches down in front of you. He puts the bowl of lukewarm water in the floor over a towel. He gently grabs your leg and adjusts so that you can be in a more comfortable position.

"That alright?' He asks, looking up at you. Eyes sparkling.

You feel like you swallowed a frog with the way he's looking at you. You nod. Justin holds your foot as he takes your sponge and gently scrubs.

"Is that warm enough?" He asks. So attentive to you.

"Yeah," You say with a raspy breath. Justin uses the towel to dry your foot off. He looks up at you again and smiles.

Not being able to stop yourself from talking, you say, "This is officially the weirdest thing I've ever done with a friend."

"Yeah." Justin says quietly as he moves to the more sensitive leg. He gently pulls the leg of your sweatpants up, gently grabbing your foot and even more gently scrubbing the foot. He notices the deep purples and reds that reach your calf. Those same colors that is causing the delay in your surgery.

"You good?" You ask him, being the worried one for a change.

"I just can't believe this happened to you. It's all my fault," He says.

"Justin."

"No. I'm the one who convinced you to go skiing when you said repeatedly you didn't want to."

"Justin. If I didn't want to go skiing then I wouldn't. I only went because it was you," You explain. Not even thinking. The things that a fresh sponge bath makes a girl do.

"Yeah. Cause I'm your friend," He says, going quiet again.

"Because I like spending time with you. I love spending time with you. And I'll do whatever you want so that I can keep spending time with you."

"What?"

"I'll do whatever you want so that I can keep spending time with you."

Justin looks up at you again. He stands on his knees to get a little closer to you.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're smart enough to figure it out yourself, Herbert."

"Please, tell me."

"Don't make me say it."

Justin moves so that he's a mere centimeter from your face. Your lips just barely touch before you stop and pull him in for a hug. Justin doesn't think. He just hugs you back and savors the moment.

"I would let you kiss me, but I have shit breath right now too. I want my first kiss with you to be perfect."

"I don't care how smelly you think your breath is. But if you want to wait. I'm fine with that. I'm just glad we can finally be subtly honest with each other," Justin admits. You nod along in agreement before Justin touches a tender kiss to your forehead. You close your eyes and breathe him in. Afraid that he'll evaporate into thin air if you don't savor this moment yourself.

"I'll love you always, you know."

_____

That's all folks. I didn't really know how to end the story. But it's been a long time since I've written so please give me you most constructive criticisms please.