#not badly thank god

[fluffywhump]

waited too long and the masking fluid stained and tore the paper ;^;

[mysteroads]

A lot of Greek Mythology is Fanfiction... but not GOOD Fanfiction 😑

Since I've been obsessed about Epic the Musical, I did some poking around the actual mythology around The Iliad and The Odyssey, and... Ye Gods and Little Fishes 🙄. There doth madness live.

I'm specifically irritated about the "children of Odysseus/Circe/Calypso." Because-- while I'm not a scholar-- none of these kids are mentioned in The Odyssey, sooooo... I'm pretty dang sure that all of Ody's theoretical kids fall under three broad categories:

Someone wanted their city's/civilization's founder to have a famous, easily identified progenitor! (Agrius, Anteias, Ardeas, Rhomos)

Later authors wanted to name-drop Odysseus as the father for their OCs. (Cassiphone,Nausinous, Nausithous, Latinus)

Give Odysseus the King Arthur/Oedipus treatment (why, just why?), since Homer unfortunately left things in Ithaca kind of open-ended and vulnerable to bad fanfiction.

Why does this irritate me so? (Other than messing with my rare 'Greek myth happy endings?!') Because, while ~death of the author~ is a thing, in Book 16, Telemachus tells us that Zeus cursed Odysseus's family to have only one son a generation.

"Zeus made our line a line of only sons. Arcesius had only one son, Laertes, and Laertes had only one son, Odysseus, and I am Odysseus’s only son."1

And, I mean, can you blame Zeus for that? 😅 We only need one Odysseus.

Art by Wolfythewitch

1 Fagles, Robert, and Bernard Knox. The Odyssey. Penguin Publishing Group, 1997.

[superbat-lmao]

For all those skiing accidents Bruce gets into, he must have to actually go skiing a couple of times just for the press coverage.

And before he buys the Planet, Perry sends Clark out to do a piece on the skiing industry and hopefully get an interview with the walking safety hazard that is Bruce Wayne.

Or honestly, have them meet as civilians at any of Bruce’s extreme sport covers. Because galas are boring as fuck and I wanna see Brucie Wayne try and teach Clark Kent how to ski.

[tatck]

STVH Tails' workshop evolution. I'm gonna call this a learning experience 👍

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

These fanfics make Hobie seem so romantic and sweet and fun to be around but deep down we all know this is the reality he's bringing

This doesn't even just end at like restaurant dates he does it EVERYWHERE it's everything

you're in a department store and you see something and he's like 'you want that?'

you're like 'yeah'

Hobies like 'right say less - imma snatch it on 3. get ready to fucking leg it, yeah'

And lemme tell you, those legs. That mfer is FAST and you will get left 😭😭 Y'all like

He outgun you TOO BAD He sees you later like 'oi what happened i told you to run 🤨'

Like fella you're built like Usain fucking Bolt what do you want from me?? 😭😭 Can't you take me somewhere we DON'T gotta do this

[rad-roche]

whats gloria's combat style?

deceptive, mostly. she's not physically strong, the average wastelander is a much better shot than her, and her vision and sense of hearing are limited in part due to the severity of her burns. she is, however, very cunning and very pragmatic.

almost everybody gloria kills across the two books are completely defenseless, actively running away from her, surrendered, or put into situations specifically orchestrated by her to make murdering them easy. she only kills in self-defence once, and while we don't see it, the state of the body leaves nick absolutely horrified. part of the conflict in dead woman walking is nick's inability to reconcile the fact she's able to do this with her positive qualities, made much worse by the fact she never expresses remorse for most of them

[leporinelou]

late thirties harringrove who meet back up in the early aughts is so fun because billy’s got a nokia that max got for him for his birthday because he, quote, ‘never picks up the damn phone’ (though he refuses to use that most of the time too) and steve’s got a company issued blackberry. and they are sexting

[kwillow]

OOOH now that is a deep cut (pun not intended)! You have a good memory! Sent me on a trip down memory lane, myself.

That was indeed a feature on Theo’s “original” version. It wasn’t from his bullies, but rather from an incident where Theo saved Jack’s life, and got a knife to the cranium in the process. A bit more of a noble mark, though more disfiguring.

It’s funny, when I started going nuts with the AUs, I tried to keep it so that only “vanilla” Theo had the half-chopped ear and scar, to distinguish his original iteration from all my silly diversions -- as you can see in these doodles from 12 years ago (good lord) of “vanilla” Theo and my first major AU of him, Fallout!Theo.

But now I haven’t drawn his original iteration in ages… still, Amaranthine!Theo’s ear notch is a nod to that original injury, even if he got his ear cut in a different life event this go around. And also he's a furry in this timeline.

[tojisun]

(i am finally home so here’s a last minute) wip wednesday!!

"n'more teasin"," you hiccup, chest heaving, so beautiful in your desperation.

simon can only hum, biting down at his words because he is not that kind. he is patient, yes, but not kind. no. he wants to see you begging harder, your body shaking by the cataclysmic pleasure he is pouring into you until your voice is all hoarse as you scream his name. until it is all that you can make sense of.

he wants so much that it threatens to choke him, ensnaring him with such vice, and simon wonders what about love makes someone act like this - all overwhelming need and unquenchable thirst and hunger that only bloats, never to be satiated.

[spikezonebby]

Hiii!! Can I request a gn!human reader song fic with the song Everywhere, Everything by Noah Kahan, with Tfp ratchet,

maybe some angst of ratchet realizing how frail his human is, and how he’s going to lose them eventually?

Everywhere, Everything - TFP!Ratchet/Human!GN!Reader

Word count: 1,352

Cybertronian protoform could score and dent, but ultimately all it took was a bit of filler and a bit of sanding to make it look as if nothing had happened. Organic flesh, though? Stitches, antiseptic, and time, then you’re still left with bumps, ridges, and discoloration that would take more pain yet to smooth away.

Ratchet had treated more than a few human wounds. Miko’s scraped knees, asphalt and gravel chunks in Jack’s hands, and the occasional bloody nose from Raf. You, though, could pinpoint the exact moment that the gears really started turning in Ratchet’s processor that things really, REALLY could be worse.

It was when Miko, in all her infinite wisdom, thought it would be fun to make everyone watch one of the Final Destination movies. The amount of car wreckages and graphic, often cartoonishly so, carnage wouldn’t be easy on anyone’s stomach or, uh… Fuel pump, in Bulkhead’s case. You had no idea Cybertronians could vomit but the floor behind the sofa has personal experience. 

Bumblebee tapped out immediately after to ‘go on patrol,’ as Raf had translated. Arcee wasn’t really paying attention and was much more enthralled with watching Jack play with a language app on his phone, occasionally giving him hints and pointers. Miko ended up abandoning her movie to go and wrangle Bulkhead, and of course, Optimus had other things to attend to. Which left just you and Ratchet.

You were going to offer to go do something else with your guardian when the medic’s servo cups around you, scooting you against his thigh. And, well, it’s hard not to feel safe when you’re securely held like the world’s dumbest hamster between two different surfaces of warm living metal. You push yourself up on his thigh, laying yourself as flat against his plating as possible to catch his attention.

“Yes?” He tacks your name onto the end, but his optics are affixed to the screen and his expression has this pinched look of concentration. 

“You okay, doc? You’re looking a little green around the gills.”

“What gills are you…” His optics finally flick down to you and it seems he registers the figure of speech. You love it when he gives you that funny, confused and exasperated look. He just looks so cute.

“I’m fine. Just thinking is all.”

Oh, there we go. There’s the dam breaking. You let him know you’re listening by looping your arm around his thumb and coaxing him to curl his digits loosely around you. His expression softens, especially when you press your cheek into the crux of his thumb and forefinger.

“How has your species survived when things like this,” He gestures to the screen with his off hand, “Can happen in the flicker of an optic?”

“The movie? Ratch, a lot of this is highly dramatized and takes astronomical amounts of bad luck.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say we’re brimming with good fortune around here.” Ratchet says with an audible grimace.

“Well,” You wrap your arms around his thumb, then press a kiss to his pad, “I still think I’m one very lucky human.” 

It is then, that you fear, Ratchet was thinking about a little more than just how accident prone humans tend to be. He scoops you up in his servo and holds you to his chest until you’re close enough to his workbench for you to set him down.

Ratchet snorts a chuckle, but he doesn’t seem wholly convinced. His index finger comes around and gently strokes down your back as the medic bot becomes lost in thought once more. The movie ends and everyone who’s left– Just you two plus Arcee and Jack, really– Returns to their stations. Ratchet takes you with him back to the medbay so you can ‘help him test something.’

“M.E.C.H was certifiably insane but they knew what they were lacking.” Ratchet muses, knocking his knuckles against his own chassis, “Humans are soft, squishy, and vulnerable. Of course some kind of armor would be the logical choice. Not certain why your evolution hasn’t started developing something of that sort, you have animals that have done it already.”

“Probably because we’re not animals.” You point out, letting Ratchet go about taking tons and tons of tiny measurements with various rudimentary tools kept in the medbay, “Well, we are but not that kind of animal. And evolution takes millions of years of environmental pressures to stimulate. Instead of getting tougher, humans evolved to be smarter. Don’t have to protect yourself from a situation if you can avoid being in said situation to start with.”

Ratchet actually has to pause in his measuring to give you a long, weary look.

“Okay we you’ve seen evidence of this, Ratch. Example A, Miko and Raf.”

“Alright, alright.” Ratchet sighs, taking a seat at the workbench before you. “You have me there. I’m not giving up so easily though. There has to be something I can do.”

“Babe,” It’s your turn to sigh as you pat your hand against Ratchet’s forearm plating. “You’re like three degrees off of going full Shockwave, I can feel it.”

Ratchet sputters, “I am not! I actually have a medical license!”

“Ratchet,” You say his name as a fond, tired note that you mean with so much love, even if you know he might not listen to you. “Come down here for me, please.”

He’s still just a little offended by the Shockwave comment, but he leans down anyway, resting his weight on his arms so his face is level with you. Immediately you flatten your palms out on the white kibble on his cheeks. He leans into your hands, and you take the opportunity to bump your forehead– Or rather, your entire head– between his red chevron brows.

“Talk to me, doc.” You say, as his optics finally meet your gaze, “Where’s your head at?”

His expression screws up, like a kid that just licked a lemon, but you hold him there and you let him find his words.

“...I can’t be there all the time.” He begins, clipped and shamed. You don’t interrupt him. When he lifts his helm up and away from you, he doesn’t leave you entirely and instead cups you in both of his servos. “I hate the thought that something might happen to you and I won’t be there to save you.”

“Ratchet…”

“And we can’t just lock you up here with us! Primus, the kids need someone looking out for them while the others are off getting the slag beat out of them.”

“Ratch, I’ve been surviving most of my adult life on my own. I’m capable of getting myself out of a scrape.”

“That was before you got pulled into all of this war nonsense! And I wish Optimus would just listen to me when I say you would have been better off if you couldn’t prove we were real and then maybe the ‘Cons couldn’t find you.”

“...But then we wouldn’t be partners.”

Ratchet sighs, optics slipping shut as he tries to compose his thoughts. He shakes his helm.

“And I… I almost hate that thought more than seeing you hurt. Almost.”

You know he means it. You know how much he cares about you and what he’d sacrifice just for your sake. But he’s forgetting one vital thing.

“My feelings matter here too. And I can tell you with absolute certainty… My life is better, richer, with you guys in it.”

You reach up and coax your big medbot back down to you. He obliges, and you happily flatten yourself out against his cheek in a hug.

“I don’t ever wish not to be here, because then I know I’d lose one of the most important things in my life. You guys– Arcee, Bee, Bulk, Smokey, Optimus, you– are my family. And I can’t see myself anywhere but right by your side.”

Ratchet’s vocalizers make this low static rumble as he leans into you, cupping your tiny body against him in his servo.

“Gah, you’re sappy.” Ratchet grumbles, you just laugh.

“I mean it, though.”

“Yeah. I know you do.” 

[theinfinitedivides]

BOAV/EVILIVE and TWOE really be like boyfriend? dead. cops? deceased. gang? dissolved. marriage? nonexistent. morals? gone to the dogs. heterosexuality? shot. hotel? trivago

[quasarkisses]

I'm getting gay married in 2 weeks!

My beautiful fiancee Aurora (@sapphic-seraph) and I are tying the knot this July! Look how cute and queer we are together

I figure I been on here long enough (more than a decade) so maybe somebody might like me. We're trans queer nerds about to change our legal names and start our living our most authentic lives in a rural red state. We're inviting our birth families to the wedding and it's been so hectic and scary but there's nothing I want more than to show everyone we care about how much I love my wife!!

If you would like to get something from our registry or support our honeyfund, here's the link!

[beargregor]

Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪

gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting

[lacecap]

old lucy art dump in honor of finally having gotten the chance to see them live this week!!!!!! ft. some more doodles under the cut :")

[rowrowronnie]

been thinking abt him more recently

[handlemehyuck]