#not bad for an hour's worth of work
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The Magic Trousers
(So I'm trying to come up with something to submit for a magazine's flash fiction competition, and while I don't think this is going to be it, I don't want to just lose it in my folders either. Hope you guys enjoy)
The third time her little brother turned up with blood on his face, Alene decided she needed to do something about it.
Not that Elber ever came out and said, but she knew good and well who bloodied his nose, who split his lip. Less than twenty kids lived in their village, but even out of a hundred, two hundred, a thousand, she’d have no trouble knowing who did it.
“I'm fine,” Elber tried to protest, when she sat him down and cleaned him up. “You don’t have to-”
“I do have to,” huffed Alene. “Just you and me now, and old Nana, but she’s too blind to do this anyhow. So hush up and sit still.”
She tended to her brother, warm water and a soft cloth and a dab of salve to speed along his healing. Then Alene sat him down next to her, and made the boy hold a ball of rough yarn as she pulled from it. Back and forth, across their mother’s old loom. Back and forth, click-clack, back and forth.
And she told Elber, “You know there used to be witches in our family?” Her brother’s eyes went wide. “Good witches, who cast their spells on tyrants and bullies, taught them harsh lessons so they’d leave the smallfolk who lived under them alone. Once, there was a witch who went to a king’s castle, pulling an empty cart like it was full and heavy. And she told everyone along the way, whether they asked or not, that she’d brought a gift: magic cloth made on a magic loom, enchanted so only wise and worldly people could see it.”
“...what’s ‘worldly’ mean?”
“Means you know what’s what,” Alene explained. “And nobody she told wanted to admit they didn’t, so instead they all went ‘oh, of course, what lovely cloth’. All the way through the castle, and to the king, who didn’t want anyone thinking he was stupid either, so he agreed to pay the witch to turn the magic cloth into robes for him to wear.”
Elber’s eyes got even wider. “But- there wasn’t any cloth?”
“Not a single thread. Speaking of, I’m almost done with this, go get me Momma’s old sewing kit.”
She finished telling her brother the story while putting her lengths of fabric together, skipping more stitches than not. About how the witch put on a great show, going through the motions and chanting in a strange tongue, until she announced the robes were ready, lighter than air and softer than a cloud. The king immediately put on his new outfit to show off, going up and down his whole castle, then out of it entirely to parade through the nearest village. But only the castle folk knew what the witch said about her magic cloth - the villagers didn’t. They saw the king prancing about in his small clothes, and one by one everybody started laughing, more and more until you could hear sound for miles around. The king tried to wave it off, tried to insist not a one of them was wise enough to see his wonderful magic robes.
But he still went back to his castle awfully embarrassed.
By the end of her story, Alene held up a pair of simple, homespun trousers, nothing odd to be seen. That night, after the whole village went to sleep, she stole out of her family’s home and over to another house, switching the trousers with another pair, not a soul aware of what she’d done.
Well. None besides Elber. And the next morning, when the blacksmith’s son promised to punch him in the face again, Alene’s little brother did exactly as she’d told him: he pointed at the bigger boy and yelled that the Old Magic punished bullies for their crimes, along with a few made-up words for good measure.
All the other kids jeered. And the blacksmith’s son did what he always did: he picked up one foot to brace against the nearest wall, posing like a hero out of a storybook.
And his trousers promptly came apart at the seams.
Alene, walking by with her market basket as laughter erupted, hid a smirk all the way home.
#flash fiction#short story#original writing#not bad for an hour's worth of work#if I do say so myself
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it´s honestly so hard for me to even finish 15-30h games let alone 100h+ games because i get maybe 2-3h a night to game and the pacing of most games makes that feel extremely frustrating.
at this point i´m begging for more 1-6h games
#itch.io 20min horror games save me. i´m counting on you for my gaming enrichment.#i´m not saying that making long games is inherently bad because i know there are people who enjoy putting hundreds of hours into them#i just got too much going on with work. chores and pets to take care of to invest that time.#i prefer to enjoy games like a long movie if that makes sense. just sit down for a few hours for a day or two.#rip to all the 20-30h games i got 6-8h into and than was too busy to finish but now it´s awkward to pick them back up so i´d have to start#from the beginning but like. i´ll just get 6h in and than drop it again#honestly that´s why i love the resi games because most are just long enough to make it a fun weekend activity#elden ring is the worst for feeling like 2-3h are worth nothing because you won´t even get to finish that one (1) task you had in mind
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(more elden ring radahn thoughts)
on whats really left of him .. and his soul? general too many thoughts about him- long post and probably incoherent, but you know me, im never coherent anyway, many thoguhts, head full, quite literally
in base game, he has lost his mind we are told, and clearly he isnt like he used to be, but we really dont know the extend of it hes clearly capable of fighting rather .. controlled; its not like hes biting and clawing after you, he still uses his swords (and bow, sth he doesnt even have in dlc) and magic, we know even in this condition he held back the stars AND still fought you hard at the same time (i know undead people can still fight in elden ring, pls hear me out)
and i wonder .. how much of his mind did he really lose, obviously some since he eats people now which isnt sth he used to do, but ... we dont know how talkactive he used to be, we get one (two? i can only think of one) quotes from him in the descriptions of an item, he might have been a man of few words already, so him not talking at all isnt that good of a measure (not saying its the only measure, just wanted to mention), resorting to eating people that atack you might just be an act of desperation too
we get told he kills friend and foe alike (and im not questioning that really) but in his cutscene we see him drag along the bodies of cleanrot knights, who are under direct dommand of malenia, and by extend miquella, im guessing they kept sending them after him to finish him off; now knowing that him dying means being sent to the realm of shadow, to miquella, and NOT knowing if he wanted that, i feel that that detail has grown in importance-
when you start the fight, hes rather defensive, shooting at you almost immediately upon you entering the arena with no extra cutscene either, what he shoots at you a long ranged gravitation bolts that stop you dead in tracks with a very high stagger rate and if you are on torrent it stagger you off of it; i know it could be just tactical and bc all he knows now is to fight as best as he can BUT, you could also look at it as a defensive strategy, to keep you away, and away from him .. even though you are not told he is afraid to die and he eats people now, sure he could come over there and snack on you once he shot you enough times, but the important thing is that you as a threat to his life is eliminated AND he doesnt seem to have some sort of insatiable hunger for people that makes him charge and snap at you immediately, there could be self control there still (if i wanted to reach a little further i could also say he could be trying to keep you away from him not jsut to save himself but to save you from him too, but thats a reach and i know that)
once you get close enough he usually changes to fire a salve of arrows that fall from the sky and follows you around, also high in stagger- its only when you get too close that he pulls out his swords and charges at you
his arena is interestign as well, its a piece of land in caelid that is inaccessible (unless you can fly?) from all sides, a barren battlefield only reached through a teleporter, im not sure if it is the same place as when he fought malenia or not (wasnt that in the middle of caelid where you find the rot needle?) but i doubt anyone could have put him there against his will, so did he .. go there himself? or stay there for that matter- how quickly do you lose yourself when infected with rot? and how quickly for him, since hes a demigod? did he intentionally isolate himself there? make it harder to reach him for both friend and foe alike?
another point is that most enemies (as far as i can think of) that are infected with rot/are in caelid also deal rot damage, radahn does not, hes even really vunerable to it in fact, its an intersting detail to me bc he only uses either standard attacks or gravitational magic, given that hes been in this condition for a long time and its caelid id expect the rot to be somewhat important there, but its not
how much has he really lost his mind, is he really as mindless as jerren makes him out to be? is he trying to stay alive no matter what, isolating himself on an (almost) island and only living off what comes there, which is usually people that want to kill him, be it friend or foe, all are out for his life one way or another, could it be defensive ... desperate even? no one but him and miquella/malenia seem to know that him dying means hes put into the land of shadow, where miquella is waiting for him; (why wouldnt he tell anyone? was he not able to? was he afraid to upset the golden order by spilling it out?) could he know that would be the end of him having his own will, knowing what miquella can do to people? ... perhaps even .... having been manipulated by him before when he was less experienced and more in direct vicinity to him, to promise something he doesnt actually want?
this is a reach too but ... could he be trying to make himself unusable for miquella, theres no real cure for the rot, could he have decided to stay alive as long as he can to both destroy his own body (and soul even?) intentionally so it cant be used against his will, like a desperate act to destroy himself rather than become someones unwilling puppet? did he succeed in both somewhat but not enough to become fully worthless and unsalvageable? just how much would he have had to destroy himself for him to become useless to miquella, is there even a limit? would he have been "revived" no matter what, no matter what little was left of him?
how is he mindless, yet his soul it taken when you kill him, his body beyond repair, but his soul intact? that seems like the opposite of what he is, and you are told he is, in the base game to me (maybe hes just fallen into madness i guess, but given the soul is like .. the self, he should be mad in the dlc too then, unless miquella can just pick out the parts he likes and throw away the rest .... which isnt impossible either)
now, there could be the argument that he might have actually agreed to it, hes been a big fan of godfrey, who is a consort to marika, a god, and little more than her pawn as well, his 'young' look you see at the end of the dlc could also be connected to it, the braids i thought where a sign of miquellas influence could also be just how he looked back then, an imitation of godfreys hairstyle- and we dont know for sure he didnt used to have them even after gettign older since they could just have loosened after spending so much time in a zombie lite condition (or is it?)-- but his portrait in volcano manor doesnt seem to have them either, hes also sporting the armor you see in base game (i think) there the fact that, according to godfrey, strength is the only thing that matters and to become a consort you need to be the strongest of all to be worthy, could also be interpreted that way- though i dont if he would have wanted to replace the golden order, he was a fan and follower of it, did he even think of it the implications? did he even know? was he just young and stupid? (very possible tbh)
then theres the idea of there being less left of his soul, so in the dlc he is barely if anything at all, himself, both in body AND soul, how much was there even left after all that time in caelid, he is silent except for like two grunts he does also in base game (he has more sounds there too), completely unexpressive, with very few gravitation magic, in the second phase miquella literally snakes his arms around his neck, almost every single attack is filled with light magic, clearly coming from miquella and not him (i know bringing up leonard might seem overemphasizing his role, but in these games what information you get is very scarce so every bit you do learn is important and was written intentionally- but he stayed together with him in caelid, all his attacks involve him in one way or another, he only started to learn that magic for leonard, so radahn didnt have too abandon him as he got too large to ride him, he uses gravitation in dlc too, so it means that at the point of his life that he is recreated as he already had leonard or that that is a sign of whatever is left of his soul that comes from a much older him, and if it is, its very little) (also this is a reach too but most enemies with horses have separate health bars, he doesnt, he and leonard basically share the same health bar, literally inseperable uwu)
"theres no evidence hes mindcontrolled" people say to me. have you seen him? how he acts? or more, how he DOESNT act? that miquellas entire deal is THAT HE BEWITCHES PEOPLE, ffs he STEALS YOUR HEART if you get grabbed by him twice in the dlc fight- theres no evidence he wasnt either, you are told they had a vow, but you never know what exactly that was, when it was (in the memory of miquella wishing for radahn to be his consort you only see miquella- was it a silly wish between kids tha miquella never grew out of?), in what circumstances, you never get to hear radahn say anything about it, its completely left out, thats a little unrelieable to me! idk!
but fine, maybe he did agree to it, maybe he thought being a consort to a god would make him just as cool as godfrey, maybe he fought malenia, who was said to be undefeated, only to prove he had the strength worthy of being a consort and it backfired when malenia infected him with the rot (why then? also he doesnt look exactly thrilled about what she say to him in the trailer but that could be just me too i guess lolololol), maybe he wanted to die all along but his pride meant he couldnt just let the rot win, maybe the festival was really what he wished for and told no one what the real goal was, maybe he wasnt rotten in the first place and just acted that part so he had an excuse to die without having to fight with all his strength as even the undefeated warrior wasnt able to beat him, maybe becoming a consort to miquella was worth leaving leonard behind to him, maybe he wanted to be nothing but a pawn to a god, to be used and discarded, maybe he really believed in miquellas wish for a "gentle" world (aka all love miquella)
it makes sense, im not going to lie about that, but the other does too- and in the end, we will never know what the truth is! we will never know if that was what he wanted, or if he was manipulated even back then, i wish we could to see his part, his voice, his will, but we never will, and it doesnt matter, in the end it doesnt matter if he wanted it or not, the fact remains hes a silent frankensteins monster of miquella, expression- and personalityless, a voiceless pawn to a god that steals everyones hearts
i dont need to be "right", i like to think about things, i am in the camp of he didnt want to or decided against it, but it doesnt really matter, even if miyazaki himself went onto stage and loudly declared that yes it was all planned from the start and radahn was in on it the whole time- i still would think the other way around it, i jsut think about him alot, i want to question things instead of taking everythign i hear at face value, especially when its very strangely told from one side, i will question every little thing if i only hear one side, no matter how much sense it makes or not, it makes me suspicious
(i some of this can be attributed about purely gameplay stuff, like the change in armor so he doesnt look the same etc, but i dont care, i like to think about the implications it brings with it, intentionally or not)
and there he is in a barren battlefield, eating the remains of whoever enters his isolated cage with the intent to kill him, never succeeding, howling like a lonely old wolf at the sky, is it desperation about a fate he cannot escape, grief about what hes done or failed to do, is it a call of yearning? for freedom?
we dont know. and it doesnt matter.
#ganondoodles talks#elden ring#long post#radahn#general radahn#starscourge radahn#elden ring dlc spoilers#im not a professional thinker tm#i dont know if imy making any sense#or am jsut projecting my childish thoughts onto this#i just feel so much for this guy#yes i probably could accept him actually accepting it#but is that really so bad#do i have to bend over to canon no matter what#can i not think about it differently?#its just a game in the end#and both me thinking and feeling so much and others getting worked up about me doing so is silly#it doesnt really matter in the end#this post too will just float away in the mass of the internet#and ultimately is a few hours worth of wasted words
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#I do not want to hustle and some of my most beloved people do not understand this#I was talking to my honorary big sister on the phone today about why I'm taking a gap year#the main reason is that the final semester of the program I was accepted into is around 50 hours per week of unpaid field work#which means you aren't allowed to have a job during that semester. this information was not presented until after the application process#anyway she was like “well that's fairly normal for healthcare professions” which is true#however this is a community college program and I would have expected them to account for people needing to work throughout college#anyway I responded “yeah true but I'm considering that maybe healthcare isn't for me then. I don't want a job that requires that much work.#And I don't! I don't want 50 or 60 hour work weeks! I want to work 40 hours and then leave and live my life!#but she made it seem like any job that requires a college degree is going to require that. And I don't think that's true#but also she is older than I am and has much more job experience so idk.#maybe she's advising based on the fact that as a teenager I was super type A and ambitious and really wanted a career?#whereas in the past couple years...idk I just want a reliable job that I don't hate that pays the bills and leaves time for enjoying life#so. I'm not sure#And now I kind of feel bad for not having that ambition anymore/ not wanting to have to give myself ulcers to get through school#But college is not worth my sanity and I found that out the hard way.#And I also feel bad for not being one of those people who CAN handle that much workload! Like I can certainly learn#to do more than I'm doing currently#but I will never be one of those constantly busy and insanely productive people. And I don't even want to be anymore#and yet that feels like an error.#I am not lazy! I used to think I was but no. I enjoy getting work done and doing personal projects and going to work and improving things.#It's not even as though I don't have things I want to do with my life. I have a lot of short term and long term goals!#I want to contribute to my community and support my family however I can and make art and tell stories and be a safe place for people!#and so much else!#but those ambitions aren't necessarily directly connected to school or a job for me anymore#and I value rest and having a social life too much to completely put my health on hold for years and years#sure college does take up a lot of time and energy but it shouldn't wholly consume your life as far as I can see.#and now I feel very unsure if that approach is realistic.#thinking I should talk with her again and try to explain myself a little better and ask what she meant.#diary
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Various tones of BnB sillies
#tf2#art#tf2 demoman#tf2 soldier#boots n bombs#demosolly#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#artwork#quotidianish#I spent 13 hours o these bad boys. I hate art#Idk man. I feel like the war exacerbated both their former anxieties probably. Soldier is deluded thinking everyone is working against him#and demo just feels because of his stupidity he can't make any good thing last. Or he's dispensable and not worth keeping.#It Leads them both to shut themselves off from whatever friendships they might have had prior#Even worse I think they were working through these thoughts together as their friendship progressed supporting eachother throughout it all#before something out of their control strongly affirms these ideas in a way they won't try and investigatebecause they already have a-#-pre arranged reason#INSANITY.
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hozier starting to sing take me to church and then unfurling a pride flag healed something in me actually
if you listen closely you can hear me yell ‘oh my god’ when he does it
#(don’t listen too closely though I’m a bad singer lol)#I tried to post this Sunday night but it didn’t go through#I had no idea he was going to do it I almost cried#not leverage#hozier#slept at our airbnb for like 4 hours#woke up for an hour until Cumbies would be open so I could get breakfast (5am)#and then drove over 2.5 hours to get back home in time to get prepared for work#I ended up teaching my two hour group and then working till twelve and taking the rest of the day off#I forgot my meds so I slept ten hours until 10 at night 💀#worth it#seeing him was a spiritual experience fr#and this was like SO spontaneous. like I cannot express enough how much I didn’t plan for this#also I literally got my tickets saturday when the show was sunday. thank u stubhub ur a true mvp#I knew my friends were going and were staying overnight and someone in my facebook group was selling tickets last minute and was like 👀👀👀#I’m not gonna go into how she decided to sell to someone else later that day when I had already made plans and made me cry but whatever#it worked out in the end
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we've reached the bargaining stage: k bud if u can load everything all u have to do otherwise is sweep and vacuum we'll horrible cleaning solutions tomorrow.
#i HAVE to get it done by tomorrow cause it's gonna snow again and basketball tournaments saturday and#one of my coworkers had a fucking heart attack friday so we're fucked for hours my other coworker is working two doubles like#god my head is bad though this is the worst headache ive had in months#and it's real bright and allergies out there 😭#posts that make me sound like a dick lmao HE'S DOING REALLY WELL HE WAS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL RIGHT AWAY so now we just.#get to go into panic stage because basketball tournaments mean three operators running live broadcasts simultaneously and we uh#barely cover a week's worth of hours for the standard rn lmao#he's not even an operator and it's this bad i'm so glad we finally have one and a half whole pt operators#.... last year we just had the half. (international student who's only allowed twenty hours max a week)
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It probably gets lonely up there
Click for better quality
Check my pinned post to see links on how you can help the people in Palestine
#we happy few#whf#uncle jack#jack worthing#whf uncle jack#mcart#it may be over for me I had this idea two days ago work on it from 1pm to 1am on and off the did the finishing stuff yesterday#I need this man out of my head I’m being so serious right now no one even look at me#if you do I’ll die so don’t#on another note this is like my first time in a long while since I’ve worked with big backgrounds and perspective#it may be off but considering I don’t think it’s that bad#oh yeah incorporating the idea that he likes blue and plus I’m willing to bet one of his outfits has suspenders#so I gave it to his I hear you outfit which idk what the actual color of his suit it#but I’m assuming it’s brown cause of one art that’s like the early bird gets jack I’m assuming that’s the same one#they look the same plus most of his other clothes are in the brown family#besides his news hour/wakey wakey one#also I learned blue goes with brown so I just used the brown to see what the complementary color would be and it got that blue#fun things I learned overall when I did this drawing
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okay, so this is very common, and i wanna complain about it
i hate when you're told to do something supposedly easy, and the disorder or disability you have that makes it not easy is ignored
#ableism#like yeah cool “just go to sleep earlier” well the going part works but the sleep part doesnt#“just stand up. why do you always have to sit? i know you can stand up” roll around on the floor for 2 hours. i know you can. oh it makes y#excessively uncomfortable and isn't worth it? and despite being able to force yourself into it that has bad health consequences?#well fucking imagine how i feel#“just get out of bed already” FUCKING GUESS WHAT IM TRYING TO DO and your judgement only makes it more difficult#also included is stimming. also coping mechanisms
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i don’t regret dyeing my hair blue but i do regret ever going to this stylist. so that’s something i guess
#this whole shitty saga has just been. argh#i like the blue but the actual dyejob was bad. i paid 200 dollars for a job i could’ve just fucked up myself#and it’s like. i’m scared to shower again. i kind of smell bad. it was already streaky with blonde bits before the shower#the shower where my hair dyed me back so bad that im STILL tinted blue in some spots (back neck etc)#and i asked for a refund but im not assertive enough or good enough at confrontation to actually commit to it#it’s like. i respect the value of time and labor. it was nearly 4 hours of work for her. she offered to refund half but said only that much#bc of the amount of product and bleach and stuff that she used#and it’s like. I DONT KNKW MAN.#i need to get it fixed so i can actually shower#but i don’t trust her to fix it because i trusted her to do it in the first place!!#and i can pay someone else to do it but it’s like. taking the half refund is like saying this was worth $100. WHICH IT WAS FUCKING NOT#and then i’m even MORE in the hole on this stupid fucking shitty frustrating stressful upsetting situation. AND ITS NOT EVEN MY FAULT#so uh. lesson learned never trust anyone?#and on top of that. the things i’m dealing with are apparently known issues with the type of dye. ISSUES I WASNT WARNED ABOUT#i wasn’t told how to take care of it. what not to do. not even to not wash it with hot water#like literally i could have just done it myself and it probably would’ve been shit but at least it would’ve actually been on me#instead of being someone else’s fault and me being on the hook for it
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quickly repinned it to taper it in, and i think thats made the world of difference!

im not sure how obvious it is for you, but im doing a LOT less manipulating on the top to get this shape. it feels a lot smoother & rounded now! i think this is the right track.
im not sure how much more i can actually do until my boning arrives as this wont support weight for a SECOND, so i cant get an idea of final silhouette... so now we wait.
what do yall think about this? going in the right direction?
#im tempted to start a wearable mock up for my janet blouse. because theres not really much i can do on stede until the boning arrives#theres the stays but im trying to not spend hours every day hand sewing. both for my hands & for using my time efficiently#the janet blouse is just gonna be my anne blouse with cosmetic changes sooooo....#probably a bad idea but it IS still on the list#lady stede build#also peep my failed playtests with foam in the background. i was hoping to use it for structure in my mockups but it was actually...#too structure....#but def worth noting because i have a near unlimited supply from work
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Sketch illustrations for LokiCuddly on Toyhouse. Thank you! 🌷🌱
#maryart#commission#2nd one was kinda late but boi ho boi was it worth it#the original bg was so bad DASDSADSADAS#when you draw a bg and immediately go 'man i can't have someone pay for this wtf'#like the idea itself wasn't bad but i just hyperfixated on 'lavander' and lavander fields are... VERY PRETTY.... but a horrible choice here#at some point i went on infinity nikki and took like a million screenshots to check what could work#drew a city bg#it looked even worse#despair#“wait this character is a florist in paris WHAT AM I THINKING?”#1 (not-)google search later and this idea was born#then all i needed was like.. many hours of bg work lol#also finally got to use the flower brushes i downloaded last year :>#sometimes you just need to go bk to the original character description huh lol
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can I just say I think it's fucking insane that I have to pay $200 to talk to a therapist about the fact that my partner can't get himself fucking together
#like#how about you just get yourself together instead#how about that#fuck i feel like im going crazt#i literally live in a house full of people who are older than me#how do you people not understand the base concept of sharing#is it some kind of counter point because I'm in the living room?#i don't have a space i can work that's not the main room#but the fact that a nearly 30 year old man feels the need to buy a months worth of groceries when there are 4 of us living together#and a fridge that's half the size of a normal one#like my brother in christ#you dont need this much shit#and now i have to deal with fucking fixing it again#cuz guess what#hes not going to#he's not going to spend the $50 and book the truck to get the fridge over#he's not going to make time for someone with a bigger car than me to pick it up#he's not going to reach out to anyone#hes going to expect me to do it#AGAIN#but somehow if i ask him to fucking handle it then im the bad guy#he would genuinely rather spend more money that he doesnt have on ordering one to the house rather than just finding 2 hours to get it over#i feel like im going crazy
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I downloaded IbisPaint so I could animate things at some point. I've never animated before and decided to make an animation of a guy blinking one eye at a time and when I'd realised it had gotten away from me I couldn't be bothered to fix it
Here he is as a gif because you'd want him for some reason
#shitpost#digital art#animation#he got SHRANKED#yayyy now i can devote hundreds of hours of my life to animating whatever brainrot ive got#i have so many ideas for snowbird animatics that i will NOT be able to properly execute 💀#oh also i havent been able to do some proper high quality drawings or work on my wips because my computer was busted#anyway my hard drive failed or something and the computer guys are replacing it AND ideally improving it#so yayyy my computer works#unfortunately theyre also installing windows again and so my whole computer is going to be reset to factory settings#my main concern would be my steam accout because i have hundreds of dollars worth of games on there but i can log in to it fine#unfortunately if you can have an account for krita i wouldnt know about so. i lose all of my wips.#tbh i had like two salvageable ones and even the unfinished ones arent that bad#plus they both need redesigns anyway#so im okay ig#i can get my computer back today and i imagine setting it back up will take a while but at least i can play refind self#yk what lets be real i will be playing slime rancher 2 for hours straight AGAIN
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life tip: if you're autistic about music PLEASE invest in a good pair of headphones. life fucking changing
#i have never bought something as expensive as these headphones i got today#but i've had them on for an hour and i just broke down sobbing#because i'm just working on my back patch stencil while listening to music#the quality is incredible and i feel more like myself than i have since i got sick years ago#it's such a little thing but i haven't been listening to music as much since moving in with ri#since. yknow. you kinda need to communicate and talk and you can't be unavailable all the time when u have a long term partner#also ri if you read this i'm in no way blaming you i hadn't realized i'd stopped until just now so do not feel any type of guilt about it#i don't even know how to explain it but it's like i was missing a piece i didn't know was missing#but god. my special interest is music. i keep forgetting.#and now the music being this close to me again and not from a stereo while i'm doing what little crafts my sick body can handle?#god. it's like a breath of fresh air. i need to put more effort into listening to music i don't remember the last time i felt like this#really felt bad about spending so much money on these headphones since we're still not anywhere near to being out of poverty#but god. god. it was so worth it.#genuinely haven't cried like this out of relief in a while#makes me really happy.
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Work is bullshit I wish I was at home playing rogue trader
#I have maybe an hour's worth of work left#if that#what is even the point in me being here lol#ash.txt#have been thinking abt doing a pinned post or smth. maybe talking about my ocs a bit idk#are the cool kids still doing pinned posts. if so then I will continue to abstain#but idt a directory or smth is a bad idea necessarily
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