#not a single brain cell in that pretty head of hers

[umiwomitai]

im catsitting my mom's cat for the weekend and she used to be very afraid of koumal but she doesn't seem to understand that koumal is dead and she still acts skittish if i bring her in rooms where he used to be 😭

[etherealising]

one | christmas (baby please come home)

pairing(s): carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | fem!reader x original male character | the bear x fem!reader

synopsis: you reunite with carmy at the berzatto family christmas, five years after your falling out.

warning(s): angst | fluff | pining | semi-unrequited love | minimally edited

wc: 7.8k

READER HAS A NICKNAME BUT OTHERWISE AMBIGUOUS

A quiet Christmas playlist drifted through the confines of the house as three friends sat gathered around the kitchen table spending much-needed time together catching up while building gingerbread houses, the various glasses of wine shared between the three of them lowering their inhibitions. 

“Baby! You’re not even looking at the camera.” Natalie’s slurred words caused a fit of giggles to spill out of you as you held up your dilapidated gingerbread house whatever artistic skills you possessed washed away with all the wine swishing through your bloodstream. 

You positioned yourself once more smiling at Nat’s phone as you held the slowly crumbling house, Pete instinctively leaned over to join you for the photo only for his reindeer antler headband to poke you in the eye. Both of you fell into a fit of hysterics as Nat giggled behind her phone most likely snapping blurry photos. 

None of you could be sure how you’d gotten to the point of being wine-drunk on Christmas Eve. The celebrations began when Nat and Pete picked you up from the airport earlier that morning, the three of you deciding on a quiet night in with a home-cooked meal, followed by a night of Christmas festivities courtesy of Pete which you could never turn down especially when seeing how excited he always got. You remembered Natalie listing off her worries for tomorrow’s dinner as she poured the three of you wine, that first glass somehow turned into two empty wine bottles in no time as the three of you enjoyed each other’s company. 

“Wait, wait we’ve got to get a picture in our matching pjs!” Pete was by far the most sober of the three of you and that was probably how he won the game of rock, paper, scissors that forced you into wearing the set of Christmas pajamas he bought you that were a replica of the ones he and Nat currently had on.

You shook your head immediately, not wanting any more photo evidence of this night, especially knowing Nat was probably sending these pictures to Mikey who would most definitely never let you live down matching with the married couple. “I think we have more than enough pictures.” The words felt heavy as they rolled around on your tongue and you couldn't help but giggle at how slow you felt like you were speaking.

Nat moved around the table to your side wrapping her arms around your neck as she leaned her chin against your shoulder and her cheek pressed into yours. “Pretty please Baby, we only get to do fun things like this a couple times a year when you visit.” She moved her face away to give what you assumed were supposed to be puppy dog eyes but was really just her concentrating extremely hard. “If you love me you’ll do it.” 

You rolled your eyes pretending to be put out by the married couple, not wanting them to know just how much fun you were actually having. While you were thankful for your success and the career you built up for yourself, that meant that you spent the majority of your time traveling and working, and while it was nice to see the world, sometimes you wished you could take more than a quick beat for visits like these. You hadn’t visited Chicago as much as you would’ve liked since moving to the West Coast, which meant you saw less and less of the family that made you one of their own all those years ago. You watched as Nat and Pete struggled to set up the phone in the living room for the group photo, giggling at how they seemed to feed off of each other as though they shared a single brain cell between the two of them.

Nat waved you over once they got the phone set up, “Oh! We should do like one of those awkward photo shoots.” 

You groaned, shaking your head back and forth while Pete stood next to you aggressively nodding his head in approval, the two of them were so goofy together you’re unsure why you ever thought you’d have an actual choice in how this unprofessional impromptu photo shoot was going to go. While you may’ve been inebriated that didn’t mean you were on board with every decision the two were making, but you also loved them too much to tell them no, and as you watched them excitedly try to figure out what pose to go with you figured you could feed into their inherent goofiness just this once in the spirit of Christmas.

Carmy stood in the kitchen of his childhood home watching as his mom prepared for Christmas dinner the following day, vehemently refusing any help when he offered it up but forcing him to keep her company and recount all of his culinary adventures as she worked.

He watched his mom move around the kitchen in an organized frenzy, talking to herself at points when she listed off what needed to be done next. Carmy could already see the weight of the looming festivities hanging heavy over her head, stressing her out before the day even began. While he understood and appreciated her love for food and cooking probably more than anyone considering she fostered that same love and appreciation within him when it came to the culinary arts, he always wondered why she insisted on cooking family dinner every year if it always ended in a mess.

“Oh fuck me!” The loud expletive forced Carmy from the recesses of his mind as he stared in his mother’s direction. “Carm honey, do me a favor and finish decorating the fireplace, the box of decorations is already out there.” 

Carmy stood there a minute longer trying to compute the fact that his culinary excellence was being disregarded and he was being put on decorating duty, “Carmen. Can you do it or do I have to do every fucking thing myself?” 

“No, uh yeah I got it.” He met his mother’s eyes nodding his head up and down in acquiesce, to let her know he had it under control.

She shooed him out of the kitchen returning to her food prep before he even made to move to the living room. Carmy quickly found the box of decorations exactly where his mom said it would be, the house was abnormally quiet he assumed Mikey was at The Beef but he couldn’t be sure he had no need to be near the sandwich shop at the moment and Sug moved out ages ago so here he was stuck in his childhood home with nothing better to do than decorate the fireplace mantle.

Carmy knew however he decorated the mantle his mom would just come behind him and fix it to her liking, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. Maybe if he got it close enough to how she liked she would have to do less fixing. He was surprised to find how calming decorating the mantle was, but maybe that was only because he didn’t care to impress anyone with his subpar decorating skills.

Reaching into the box Carmy pulled out the stockings each one designated to one of the Berzatto siblings. He easily hung the stockings onto the hooks on the mantle before reaching in for the last one, embroidered with a name he was sure he hadn’t seen in far too long a time. Carmy was foolish to think that because he ruined the friendship between the two of you that his family would disregard your whole existence over his mistakes. 

Carmy remembered how hard he tried for the first couple of months after he’d left to get into contact with you, to try and let you know just how sorry he was and how much he missed your friendship…missed you. If you ever gave him the chance, he was sure he’d spend his whole life apologizing for that moment. 

That night would haunt him forever, and his mind made sure of it, the worst moment of his life was on a constant loop anytime he got a moment of calm and quiet. Which wasn’t often but they happened enough for the hurt and pain on your face from that night to be permanently seared into his mind. And when it wasn’t memories of the way the moonlight illuminated the tears running down your face from that night, it was the overwhelming guilt that weighed on him for ever speaking to you that way.

Carmy’s hand traced across the embroidered thread of your name as though passing over it enough times would permanently thread the letters into his skin. He hesitated, unsure if they still hung the stocking long after you moved, a moment passed before he decided he would hang it if only just to catch a glimpse of something that reminded him of you. Carmy maneuvered the other stockings around in order to make space for yours trying to ignore the warmth that filled his chest at the sight of your name hanging directly next to his. 

He was pulled from his daze as his phone vibrated multiple times in rapid succession, he pulled the device out of his back pocket unsurprised to find Nat blowing up the sibling's group chat, plus Richie courtesy of Mikey. He was ready to shove the phone back in his pocket when a message coming through from Richie caught his eye, his heart sped up a bit as he read it before it disappeared off of his screen. 

Carmy was positive he had never opened the sibling's group chat as fast as he did at that moment. Opening the text chain he frowned at the assortment of pictures above Richie’s message doing his best to figure out what the hell he was looking at. The first few pictures were of Pete and Nat and as much as he loved his sister he wasn’t interested in seeing either of them. His thumb began swiping through the photos rapidly unsure why anyone would take so many photos of the same things over and over again. Carmy found himself stopping on one picture in particular, a picture that was neither Sug nor Pete, but presumably, the person who took the previous pictures of the couple. 

There you were. 

Smiling so wide it almost looked painful, a glow to your skin that made Carmy unsure if it was from the phone camera or if you were actually glowing. The picture was blurry but for the most part, he could make out your features, he would recognize you anywhere even after all the time spent apart he would be able to pick you out of a crowd with no trouble at all. That’s how deeply you were ingrained into his brain even if the last time he saw you was when you were a fresh high school graduate.

He scrolled once more the side of his lips ticking up at the same photo this time just a lot clearer, he absentmindedly saved the photo to his phone before resuming his viewing. Carmy’s eyes were always drawn to you when you were in any of the photos, at some point he began disregarding Sug and Pete entirely, giving you his full attention. He couldn’t help the quiet chuckle as he scrolled through all the shenanigans the three of you got up to saving another individual shot of you in front of the Christmas tree in Christmas-themed pajamas with matching socks and a headband with two candy canes in the shape of a heart. The sight of you smiling directly at the camera made it seem as though you were looking directly at him, a blush rose to Carmy’s cheeks at how pathetic it was for him to get so worked up over a few photos of you. He looked at the last photo a moment longer before realization dawned on him, his eyes quickly shot from his phone screen to the stocking he hung up. 

Carmy scrolled through the recently sent messages he missed after staring at the pictures of you so long gathering enough information to confirm his suspicions. He quickly turned on his heel before heading back into the kitchen.

“Yo ma,” she gave a distracted hum which was enough for him to begin his line of questioning. “Is uh…does Baby still come to family Christmas?” 

The older woman stopped what she was doing turning to face her youngest son with the most egregious ‘are you fucking stupid’ look Carmy received in a while. “Do I bust my ass every year preparing seven fishes that nobody ever fucking appreciates or eats?” 

Carmy was unsure if it was a trick question but as his mom raised her eyebrows awaiting an answer he realized there in fact was a right answer, “Yes?”

She shook her head looking him up and down as if he were a stranger “I don’t know what’s gotten into you Carmen, it’s like you're from a whole different fucking planet. Of course, the girl comes to Christmas, we're the only family she’s got left.” She stopped speaking to pull out the pack of cigarettes she kept on her slipping one between her lips before speaking around it. “And you would fuckin’ know that if you came home once in a while Bear.” 

Carmy nodded his head ignoring the last sentence as he let the information settle in, he would be seeing you face to face for the first time since high school, and the two of you would be in the same for hourse. He took his chance to slip out of the kitchen as his mother turned back to finish her prepping. He needed some time to himself to try not to work himself into a frenzy as he thought about what tomorrow would bring.

The Berzatto family home looked exactly as you left it all those years ago, the only noticeable difference was the Christmas decorations but other than that it was still your bonus home, the home you spent as much if not more time in than your own home. 

The home you grew up in sat just right across the street, a family of three began renting it a year after you left for college and although it was weird to think that another family was living in the home that would always hold a piece of you, you were just happy to rent it out to a loving family. You’d try to find the time and bring them a goodie basket or something, you always sent holiday cards, but now that you were in town you could meet them properly. 

You stood at the trunk of your rental car staring at the array of wrapped presents trying to decide if you should bring them all in now or just wait. Your eyes fell on the matte black sleek box, the last-minute gift cost more than it would’ve if you bought it ahead of time, you bit your lip the longer you stared at it only now feeling uncertain about the unwarranted gift.

“You sure you’re up for this?” The voice came from your side, Hayden leaned against the car as he watched you stare at the box as though it personally wronged you.

A small sigh escaped you as you turned to face him, arms crossing over your chest “Not really, no but I come home every Christmas and I can’t stop just because he happens to be in town.” Hayden looked at you like he knew you were lying but decided against mentioning it. “Thanks for coming with me by the way, I know it was last minute…how you holding up?”

Hayden shrugged before looking straight ahead, “Well my best friend has been sleeping with my wife for the better part of a year, and said wife served me divorce papers two days before Christmas so.” His voice trailed off as he gave you a sarcastic smile. “But I would say you’re having a worse day than me so it makes me feel a bit better.”

You frowned, not entirely understanding what he was getting at, causing him to roll his eyes, “Oh c’mon Baby, the kid you’ve been in love with our whole lives is home for Christmas, the two of you never even dated mind you. He broke your heart years ago and for some reason, you’re still in love with the idiot but won’t pick up the phone to tell him, and all of your relationships have failed because you’re too stuck living in the past.”

“I should’ve left your ass at home wallowing in self-pity.” 

Hayden’s lips pulled into a sardonic smile as he tipped his head to you. “Well now we can wallow in self-pity together, you can stay out here in the cold looking at that stupid box, but I’ll be in that warm house drinking all of Miss Berzatto’s good liquor.” 

The front door opening drew both of your attention, your heads swiveled to watch Mikey exit the house and begin making his way to you, a frown lined his face as his eyes landed on Hayden by your side confused at the extra guest you brought with you.

“Why the fuck are the two of you standing out here in the cold.” Mikey’s gruff voice felt like a balm for the doubt that was beginning to eat away at you from Hayden’s unwelcome reality check.

Hayden moved quicker than you anticipated, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. “Oh you know just reminding our girl here that love sucks and it's all a fucking illusion because no matter how much you love someone they’ll always end up fucking your pseudo brother.” 

Mikey’s confusion was evident as his eyebrows pinched together even more, his eyes darted between the two of you mouth opening to speak only to quickly close as you shook your head back and forth as subtly as possible.

“Hey, is your mom drinking yet?” Hayden’s question earned a hesitant nod from Mikey who was unsure if providing her a drinking partner was the best thing to do. “Great���great, well merry fucking Christmas!” Hayden pressed a gentle kiss into your temple before moving to head into the house, clapping Mikey on the shoulder as he went by. 

Mikey moved to stand next to you, the both of you watching the train wreck of a man head into the Berzatto household. “What the fuck is up with that kid?” Mikey turned to look at you trying to figure out exactly what kind of mess you brought to family Christmas.

“Sasha’s leaving him.” You watched as understanding washed over Mikey’s face a small nod following as he put two and two together at Hayden’s weirder-than-usual behavior. Mikey opened his mouth to give you shit about bringing the insufferable kid with you only stopping as you spoke over him. “He’s good people, Mikey, I just didn’t want him alone on Christmas.”

Mikey didn’t have an argument for that. As irritating as Hayden could be he found himself indifferent towards the kid you called friend. Mikey was loathed to admit it and he would deny it if anyone ever asked him, but he had a secret appreciation for the kid, Hayden was there for you during a tough time in your life, he was there for you when you needed a friend or someone in your corner who wasn’t directly connected to the youngest Berzatto and for that, Mikey respected the kid, but it's not like he’d ever tell you or him that. 

“Let me look at you,” Mikey’s voice broke through the quiet that had settled over the two of you, your eyes flashed to his face taking in the facial hair he'd decided to grow out. “All fucking grown up ain’t you. Can we still call you Baby or you too grown for that shit now?” 

You rolled your eyes at the joke Mikey made every time you came home before turning and grabbing your bag from where you sat it in the trunk, leaving the gifts behind and moving to walk towards the house with Mikey, “As much as I regret the nickname I’m not sure if I could get used to hearing you all call me by my first name again.” 

Mikey chuckled at your words, hand moving out to grab your elbow and stop you from continuing ahead. “Relax out here with me for a bit yeah?”

A frown lined your face as Mikey stopped in front of you, you could tell he had ulterior motives for stopping you, his hand moving to take the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket before lifting it to his mouth and lighting it. 

“You uh, you know your little boyfriends in that house right?” 

Your nose scrunched up at Mikey’s words, you could hear the teasing tone in his voice as he spoke but that didn’t mean his words didn’t make your chest ache. Of course, you knew he was here, but not until a week after you booked your flight and Nat gave you some bullshit excuse about how she just didn’t know he was coming home for Christmas. You were upset with her and rightfully so but Pete somehow still talked you into coming and so here you were pretending like seeing Carmy after so long didn’t matter, pretending like you hadn’t teared up on the drive over with your face turned to the window as Hayden drove, quietly reliving every vile word Carmy spewed at you that night in your head. Pretending as though you didn’t carry his words along with the hurt they caused within you for years like they didn’t change the way you viewed yourself and took up space in other people’s lives, maybe Hayden’s observation about you carrying the past around was more factual than you once thought. 

And it didn’t matter that he tried getting back in contact with you his first year in California or that he sent flowers and a card when your mom passed saying he’d come home if you needed him to. None of it mattered because it would never make up for the underlying truth in his cold, cruel words from all those years ago.  

Mikey’s eyes darted around your face watching the small changes in your expression knowing you were thinking about the past, his cigarette halfway gone as he lost you to the inner workings of your mind. He took another puff before letting it fall from his fingertips and stomping it out, the tears lining your eyes forced him to move faster as he tucked you into his chest listening to you struggle to breathe as you fought to keep the sobs from wracking through your body.

“Shh, shh, you’re okay. You can leave right now if you need to and no one has to know you were here.” His hand raised to stroke your head as he gently rocked the two of you back and forth. “Hayden will understand.” 

You pressed your forehead into his chest as you willed yourself to calm down not wanting to make it obvious you’d been crying once the two of you made your way inside although it was probably already too late for that. 

“Why does it still hurt Mikey?”

A deep sigh raised the older man's chest at your words, his hands fell to your biceps gently pulling you away from him. The look Mikey gave you said it all, a look that forced you to face a truth you’d been running from for the past five years. Creating a new life and pretending as though whatever misguided feelings you held towards Carmy were just that of a childhood crush. 

It still hurt because you never stopped loving him.

You were thankful Mikey didn’t speak the words aloud unlike Hayden, you’d already been lectured by him countless times on this subject, Richie even jumped in from time to time to express his discontent. No one could understand why you held onto your feelings for Carmy so strongly knowing firsthand how much pain and anguish they caused you. You were scolded plenty of times about holding onto all that hurt, being told to either let it all go or talk to Carmy. You couldn’t bring yourself to do either of those things. 

But you couldn’t keep living in your head and feeding into the fairytale of you and Carmy forever. You had to move on with your life at some point, and even though Hayden was correct that one moment from your past kept ruining your future, at this point, you were doing it to yourself. Although it was painful and it took some time, the broken record of Carmy’s words from that night five years ago made it just a bit easier. 

“Baby,” Mikey paused on his words trying to find the right thing to say he felt torn every time this topic came up. You were a little sister to him, he viewed you in the same way he viewed Nat. He wanted the best for you, but this wasn’t it and the both of you knew it. 

“Why are you doing this to yourself? I’m not saying you should forgive Carm m’ just sayin’ holdin’ on to all this hurt isn’t doing you any good.” He watched as you looked away from him, the realization clear on your face, Mikey could read you so well he knew you were tired of carrying the grief of that dead friendship around with you. His hands reached out to cup your face the rough pads of his thumb tenderly caressing your squished cheeks. “You’re finally in the same place after all this time, figure this shit out for both of your sakes.” 

An exhausted sigh escaped your lips as you fought the urge to come up with some lame excuse as to why now wasn’t the right time, but there’d never be a right time for the two of you. 

You wrapped your arms around Mikey’s waist once more needing the warm strong bear hugs he always provided to help calm yourself down enough to be prepared to face everyone, but also to signal you were done with this conversation entirely. You pulled out of Mikey’s grip as he gave you a look seemingly asking if you were okay, you nodded in answer, relaxing into him as he pressed a gentle kiss onto the skin of your forehead.

“Alright, let's get you inside before mom comes out here and cusses me out for keeping you in the cold.” Mikey’s hands rubbed up and down your arms to provide you with the much-needed body heat.

A genuine laugh left your lips knowing Mikey’s words were closer to the truth than one might think. Mikey moved to turn around and begin walking to the door but was forced to stop as you reached out to grab his hand. “I uh, I got you something.” 

His eyebrows raised in question, “Awe you didn’t have to get me nothin’.” You rolled your eyes rummaging through your bag for the two presents and holding them out to him once you found them, chuckling as you watched him place his hands over his heart mockingly. You knew Mikey didn’t do well when it came to sentimental moments and the best you would get out of him was a joke as opposed to anything else. 

You smiled holding the heavier of the gifts out to him first, “I wanted to Mikey, don’t think of this as a gift, think of it uhh…as a show of appreciation yeah?” You nodded, feeling your face warm as you let your eyes dart around so you didn’t have to watch his reaction.

Mikey smiled, finding your shyness endearing before tearing into the neatly wrapped paper and revealing a frame, his hands engulfed it from end to end. He smiled at it before you saw confusion etch across his face, “This is great Baby, yeah but uh what the fuck am I looking at?”

You shoved his shoulder before laughing at him and grabbing the frame out of his hands holding it in front of your chest, the glass facing him so he could still see its contents, “It's a trademark certification you dumbass, can’t you fucking read Mikey.” You joked to try and underestimate how big of a gift this was.

Mikey’s brows furrowed before he snatched the frame out of your hands to get a better look at the certificate sitting behind the glass, eyes snapping back up to your face with a look you couldn’t read. You shuffled your feet feeling like you overstepped a boundary you didn’t even know was between you and Mikey, “Don’t worry though I-I, put it in your name, I didn’t trademark it for myself or anything. I just remember how much you all used to talk about this, and I'm not sure if it's something you still want but I…I just wanted you to know I still believe in you. And I…I know how tough shit is lately and I promise I didn’t mean to step on your toes but…Mikey, you deserve good things too okay?” 

You could hear your long-winded explanation become more emotional by the minute but you needed Mikey to know how loved and appreciated he was. He was a big brother to you, always by your side whenever you needed him, he saw you through all the bullshit with Carmy and helped you to get through your mom's death. And when you were hellbent on throwing whatever little future you didn’t think you had left away he was right there with you pushing you to see just how much you deserved to get out of this godforsaken city and make something of yourself. 

“You deserve so much in this world Mikey, and I wish I could give it to you. But you need to know how much I believe in you and how much I love you, I’m always in your corner,” you paused trying to choke back another round of tears. “And Mikey I…I don’t think I would be here right now if it wasn’t for y-.” 

Before you could get another word out you were once again trapped in his comforting embrace, the both of you taking every bit of love and comfort the other offered in that moment. Mikey’s head tucked into your neck as you felt his uneasy breathing through your hands clutched around him. He wasn’t the type to get emotional in front of other people, and feeling a tear of his smear against your cheek as he raised his head from your neck and settled his bearded cheek against yours, you weren’t sure if you had done the right thing by giving him the gift or not.

The two of you stood in silence as you allowed Mikey to have this moment, not wanting to make him feel insecure about you being present while his emotions ran high. When he finally pulled away you could see the leftover sheen in his eyes. He tucked the framed certificate under his arm as both his hands reached up to grab your face, his eyes found yours, 

“Thank you, Baby,” the words were spoken so quietly you were surprised you caught onto them a small imperceptible nod of your head directed at him as you gave him a tearful smile. Mikey placed a kiss on your forehead before he grabbed the frame again and wrapped you in another hug. 

You decided it best to leave the biography you finally wrote, printed, and compiled about him after all these years in his room, wanting him to be able to experience it in private so he could indulge in whatever feelings it brought forth. 

Mikey’s head sat atop yours as your face rested against his chest, ear listening to the rhythm of his beating heart. The hug you shared with Mikey in that moment felt heavier than any other time you had the pleasure of being held in his arms. You’d be remiss not to notice but chose instead not to bring it up to him and enjoy the moment for what it was.

A moment of peace.

30 minutes passed since Michael escaped the house to do whatever the fuck it was he was doing outside. Carmy didn’t know and in all honesty, he didn’t actually give a shit either, too busy helping their mom out in the kitchen to try to give any thoughts to whatever grabbed Mikey’s attention. 

He was focused in the corner of the kitchen making Tiff Sprite to help alleviate her nausea symptoms. Anyone else would have done their best to block out the rambunctious noises going on throughout the house, but not Carmy though, the chaos fueled him, it grounded him. If the house was quiet it would have been too much for him, to be alone with his own thoughts ping-ponging around in his head, waiting for a chance to drown him. So if he had to listen to his mom list off a plethora of things he needed to make sure happened for Christmas dinner to go off without a hitch while he was making Sprite from scratch, he welcomed it. 

He finished his concoction just in time for Richie to walk through the kitchen, the older man trying to figure out how the fuck it was even possible to make Sprite from scratch. Gratefully taking the glass Carmy offered to him marveling at the carbonated drink in his hand.

Carmy nodded in his direction, “Yo Cousin, where the fuck is Mikey. He just fucking disappeared.” Carmy’s head swiveled around the kitchen checking whether his brother was there or not, coming up empty in his search. Richie glanced up before settling his eyes back on the drink in his hand still doing the mental math to wrap his head around what the fuck Carmy just made.

Richie jutted his head in the direction of the front door, “Outside talking to Baby.” His eyes finally focused on Carmy’s in time to see the color drain from his face at the older man’s words, the younger of the two looking as nauseous as the pregnant woman upstairs. Although he knew you were in town he’d gotten so sucked into the chaotic energy of everything that his mind hadn’t given him any time to overthink seeing you all these years later and if he knew Mikey was outside with you he would’ve made sure he was nowhere in the vicinity of your entrance, not because he didn’t want to see you or be around you but because after all these years he still had no idea how to admit every feeling he kept bottled up and tucked away from you. 

“Did you not know she was coming? Your moms invites her to every holiday, Cousin, and she comes every time.” Richie knew the last bit wasn’t necessary but felt Carmy rightfully deserved it, all anyone wanted from the youngest Berzatto was a visit.

“Dudes been out there for fucking ever though, those two idiots probably just standing outside like a bunch of fucking jagoffs.” Richie left the kitchen not waiting for Carmy to follow him before heading to the front door. He stopped moving the curtain on one of the side windows to spot two of the people he considered family and a surprise plus one. He let out a low whistle nudging Carmy’s shoulder who finally joined his side nodding his head to the window. 

“Awe and she brought her little boyfriend with her.” Richie’s words bounced through Carmy’s head like a game of pinball. You were seeing somebody? Carmy unceremoniously shoved Richie out of the way to get a glimpse of his own out the window, the older man did his best to hold in his laughter. 

Carmy looked out the window just in time to see you snuggly pressed into another man’s side, his brain working overtime to figure out who it was before he watched the man lean in and press a soft kiss into the side of your head causing Carmy’s stomach to sink. 

“When did they start dating?” Before Carmy could stop himself the question was out in the open, his voice sounded less curious and more annoyed than it should have. 

Richie knew what he was about to do next would probably get him into a load of shit but he couldn’t help but want to fuck with Carmy, would you beat his ass for it later, probably but that wasn’t gonna stop him from having his fun. 

“Ohh shit, nobody told you, Cousin?” Richie did his best to sound sad as he spoke, fighting to keep his face neutral as Carmy turned to look at him. “Listen, I don't think it's my place to tell you.” Richie raised his free hand and the cup up in defense.

Carmy could feel his heart speed up the longer he looked at Richie, “Told me what?” An apologetic look washed over Richie’s face twisting the feeling of despair deeper into Carmy’s chest. “Told me fucking what Richie?” He did his best not to scream in the man’s face but the longer Richie stayed silent the more Carmy was sure he was going to have a breakdown. 

“Carm…she’s,” Richie paused suddenly realizing that maybe this joke wasn’t as funny as he first thought it once was but he was in too deep now. “Baby’s married.” 

The tightness in Carmy’s chest intensified tenfold as his eyes traced Richie’s face for any inkling that he was lying. He could feel his palms becoming clammy as he tried to comprehend the truth bomb Richie just dropped on him. When did you get married? Why didn’t he know? 

Even if he didn’t want to admit it, he already knew the answer to that last question. You didn’t want him to know, the two of you weren’t those same kids from five years ago. There was no more sharing everything that happened in your lives with one another and Carmy only had himself to thank for that. 

“Don't fսck with me right now Richie.” Carmy was doing his best to hold onto whatever was left of his resolve not knowing if he could realistically spend his first Christmas home in years watching you be happy with some other man. 

Before the older man could admit to his fallacy the door swung open, the man in question walking through the door. 

“Yo, Richie how you been man? Tiff trynna kill you yet?” His voice drifted through the foyer as he shrugged out of his jacket while Carmy forced himself to turn around making eye contact with the man only receiving an indifferent look in return. “Carmen, good to see you home dude.” 

It took Carmy a moment to realize he knew the man standing in front of him, Hayden Ivanovski was always more your friend than he was Carmy’s but the two of them got along decently enough for your sake. Carmy’s eyes flitted down to the hand stretched out in his direction, quickly latching onto the gold band wrapped around his ring finger, the truth of the situation settled heavily inside of him as he shook Hayden’s hand.

“Yeah uh, good to be back.” Carmy restrained himself from physically massaging out the ache in his chest as he stood in front of the man who succeeded where he couldn’t. He let Hayden’s hand go, tuning out the conversation between Richie and Hayden as he lost himself to the overwhelming thoughts swimming through his head moving to stand just outside of the kitchen as he leaned against the wall. There was no doubt about it, you were married, and those hateful words Carmy spewed at you in the backyard of his family home five years ago probably only helped to push you into Hayden’s embrace. 

Carmy heard you before he saw you. He’d been so lost in his self-deprecating thoughts that he hadn’t heard the door open again. 

All of these years, all the skipped holidays, and Carmy was missing out on you. The sight of you standing in his family home helped to calm his racing heart but then he watched as Hayden pulled you into his side, the two of you looking like a picture of love as the man leaned in placing one more kiss to your temple, conveniently staring Carmy down from across the foyer. 

Carmy dropped his gaze from Hayden before focusing on you once more, the tension seemed to just bleed right out of him as he watched you glow in happiness even if caused by someone else. He was so caught up in his staring that he hadn’t realized the way Mikey glanced at him, eyebrows raised like he was waiting for Carmy to make a move he hadn’t prepared for and didn’t even know he could still make. 

He’d be lying if he said the years apart made him forget what you looked like. You were still the same girl he left in Chicago all those years ago except the wand of maturity worked its magic on you, and in his opinion he thought you looked more beautiful than you had in high school. 

Carmy was never one to pay too much attention to a woman’s features, and not because he didn’t care, it's just that he didn’t think it mattered, he wasn’t drawn to you because of your appearance it was just you as a person that always kept his attention. The comfort you brought him, the way he used to feel safe just being in your presence, the softness you taught him it was okay to bask in, and the way you allowed him to be vulnerable and unapologetically himself were what really kept him hooked. But as he drank in your form he learned in that exact moment why a woman might want people to notice the small things, and he made sure to do so as he stared at you from his vantage point staring around Mikey’s body. Carmy was sure he could look at you all day and deep down inside, he knew he would spend most of Christmas doing just that now that a future with you wasn’t attainable. 

He was pulled from his study of you as your voice rang through his ears, the way his name sounded coming out of your mouth warmed his body. 

“Merry Christmas Carmy,” he could tell your smile was forced, but even the fact that he was worthy of your attention at this moment was enough for him. “It’s nice to see you home.” 

Carmy tried not to read into your words knowing you were just being friendly but the way Mikey cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at his younger brother, he knew he needed to say something. 

The moment was lost though as another voice interrupted the silence that fell over the group in the foyer. 

“Baby, is that you? My goodness, you look fucking gorgeous and you brought Hayden!” Half of Donna’s body popped out of the kitchen finally gaining a spare moment to greet the newcomers. Her words mumbled through the cigarette between her lips, while she held a ladle in her right hand and the left was occupied by tongs. Her apron was covered in all sorts of sauces and whatever the hell else she was in the kitchen making.

Carmy watched as you laughed half in amusement, you and Hayden both waved in his mother’s direction. Hayden gestured for you to walk in front of him as you both made your way to the kitchen. Donna waved the tongs in Carmy’s direction, “Jesus fucking Christ Carmen, take the girl's bag and coat. Don’t just fuckin stand there.” She huffed eyes glaring the longer Carmen stayed glued to the spot. “C’mon Hayden, I need someone to drink and gossip with.”

The man wasted no time tossing his jacket atop the rest of the pile before maneuvering around Carmy and you. Richie and Mikey had dispersed at some point leaving the foyer empty aside from the two old friends. Carmy gestured for your tote, taking it out of your hand before awkwardly helping you to slip off your jacket doing his best not to touch you unnecessarily. 

Carmy tried to match the small smile you gave him as you made to move around him but was sure he just looked miserable. He was surprised as you gripped his bicep before walking past him, “I uh, I actually bought you a Christmas present. So um, find me later yeah?” He watched as you genuinely smiled at him for the first time in years, unsure if the rhythm his heart was beating in was healthy or not.

A concerned look washed over your face at Carmy’s silence forcing the man to hesitantly nod his head surprised you would’ve gotten him anything after all this time. He opened his mouth to speak but settled against doing so, sure he would make a fool of himself, instead giving you a small shy smile in return. Carmy watched you a moment longer, your own mouth opening and closing like his once had before you settled on a simple nod and dropped your hand back to your side, before walking into the kitchen.

Whatever little hope that interaction had given Carmy was dashed as soon as he heard Hayden’s voice call out to you. You were happy and that’s all he ever wanted, Carmy knew he should’ve been happy for you, but he couldn’t bring himself to come to terms with the fact that all of this could’ve been avoided if he had just been honest with you five years ago.

Maybe then he wouldn’t have to watch as another man brought forth the happiness that once used to be reserved for him. 

a/n: well, well, well what do we have here? gonna be honest idk how the bear fandom is doing so this series rewrite may not get as much love as the original, but that doesn't bother me as much as it used to.

some quick housekeeping as we begin this journey once more; ya girl is working full time so updates will be sporadic, genuinely have no upload schedule so please if you read this rewrite be gracious and understand i have a real life outside of fic writing. other than that please enjoy like/comment/reblog it means a lot.

i've missed you all so much please fangirl with me over these two once more! 🫶🏼🤍

[buckyalpine]

Request 👉🏼👈🏼 ? Black widow!reader and winter soldier!Bucky! He was her teacher in the red room, where they eventually fell in love and started a secret relationship, until Hydra and Dreykov found out and separated them. Fast forward several years, Bucky’s out of recovery, reunited with Steve, and living a better life when Tony brings in a new team member. And everyone’s excited but Bucky’s on edge and kinda wary until he learns who it is.

It’s his lil widow, the love of his life, his soulmate. the one Hydra and the red room stole from him, the girl he kept dreaming about no matter how many times his handlers tried to wipe his memories. Just complete fluffy, smutty, love sick shit with him being a massive simp for his deadly girl. maybe building a family, getting married, drabbles of him drooling over her skills or her in the widow suit, like oh yea, I taught her that. I can imagine him being so overly protective, constantly holding her close to his chest because she was stolen away from him once, he won’t survive if that happens again.

YESSSSS God this is so cute and smutty and angsty and FLUFFY it makes my chest itch in the best way. Pls ignore what google translate may have botched. Bucky is the cutest, horny, most deadly simp here, so proud of his girl, absolutely yes.

"ne proyavlyay miloserdiya, soldat" [Show no mercy, soldier], Dreykov hissed, letting the soldier enter the red room with a single widow standing before him, not an ounce of fear in her eyes. The soldier grunted, hitting the button that locked the door that kept her from escaping before lunging forward, testing her agility after personally training her himself.

She leapt over him with ease, bracing her hands on his wide shoulders and landing swiftly behind him and swiping her leg under him to knock him to the floor, straddling him immediately after. He grasped her hands in his, rolling over till she was pinned under his large mass with her wrists held together above her head in his metal hand.

"You've learned well kotenok" His voice was husky behind the mask, blue eyes sparkling while she huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Nespravedlivo, kogda ty takoy bol'shoy, soldat" [Not fair when you're so large, soldier]. She gasped feeling him harden on top of her, his rough uniform doing nothing to hide what he was feeling for her, slotted between her thighs.

"Nespravedlivo, kogda ty takoy krasivyy, kotonok" [Not fair when you're so pretty, kitten]. He climbed off her, allowing her to get into position before attacking again, relentlessly throwing punches and blocking them till she nearly collapsed. They retreated to stand at attention at the sound of the doors hissing open, indicating training was over. The soldier grunted a nod as Dreykov walked in, assessing the widow, a sinister smile plastered on his face seeing both of his assets worn but still at their strongest.

He sent them off to their cells, confident that the fear he'd instilled in his captives would be enough to ensure they stayed in line, not realizing his punishments would only go so far.

It wasn't enough to stop the charming young man from Brooklyn who still lived in his most feared asset.

"Did I hurt you baby" The soldier whispered, kissing her bruised knuckles softly after sneaking into her cell, pulling her into his arms.

"You could never" She smiled, melting into his embrace. She never intended on falling in love with the soldier but here she was, feeling his gentle hands wander, leaning up to kiss his soft, pink lips. They were playing a dangerous game but it was to stop now.

He loved her.

She loved him.

-

"Wipe him" The hydra agent ordered while the soldier gripped onto the chair, gritting his teeth while sharp burning spread through his body, frying his brain. The widow dug her nails into her palms, resolve slowly crumbling seeing the love of her life tortured, unable to hold back anymore.

"Stop!" She finally broke, unable to watch any longer, gasping at the sinister smile Dreykov gave her, ordering his men to grab her before increasing the voltage.

"My, my, does it hurt you when we hurt him" Dreykov sneered, turning up the dial, Bucky's screams tearing her apart on the inside.

"Don't-AH-JAMES" A hydra soldier gripped her hair, yanking her back before she could go to him, shackles binding her hands together, dragging her away.

"kotenok" [kitten] The soldier sadly whispered, unheard by her, her kicking and screaming form blurry from his unshed tears. He screamed in pain as another shock ripped through his veins before the world went black.

He never saw her again.

-

Bucky gasped, sucking in a deep breath of air, his chest heaving from the dream he'd just had, sweat covering his chest, dripping from his forehead.

It was the same thing almost every night.

His mind replaying the same thing over and over again; training with her in the red room, the way she felt under him, the way he'd cuddle and make love to her afterwards without a soul knowing. He didn't plan on falling for the woman he had to train to be a killer but he didn't stand a chance the day she'd knocked him down with a knife pressed to his neck seconds later. He could have married her then and there.

He slumped back against his pillow, running a hand over his face, groaning in frustration.

In the several years, he'd slowly managed to get his life back together. He was apart of the team and living at the compound with Steve and the others. He was no longer controlled by trigger words, he had been forgiven by the government, he was starting to recover from all the trauma he'd endured. His nightmares were less frequent, slowly learning to forgive himself for the things he'd been forced to do under Hydras control.

The only thing he never got over was her.

She still lived in his dreams. Still owned his heart. That was his girl and she was torn away by the very people that had taken everything else from him too. No amount of wiping or torture took her away. His handler tried his hardest, shocking him till his nose bled and his veins nearly burnt to bits but her name would fall from his lips as he lay nearly unconscious.

His sweet widow.

Bucky glanced at the faint light starting to stream through the curtains, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed to get up instead of attempting to sleep for 5 more minutes. He threw on a hoodie and some joggers, making his way to the gym to punch his feelings away as usual. He didn't stop till his knuckles split, ignoring the sting, instead thinking about how he'd kiss her soft hands after he'd train her, bandaging them up when no one was looking.

The hot water from the shower did little to ease the tension in his muscles as he made his way to the kitchen next, plopping onto a stool with a cup of coffee. He was just about to try and relax with his coffee until Steve popped his head in with a grin.

"There you are! Tony was looking for you, we're all heading up now!" Bucky frowned in confusion while Steve grabbed his own mug, filling his cup.

"Why are we having a meeting" Bucky questioned, not willing to get up from his seat, his mind still preoccupied.

"He told you he scouted someone to join the team"

"I remember Tony going on about some new member" Bucky mumbled, not in the mood to meet new people, his anxiety only growing further. "That's today?"

Steve nodded, finishing up the last of his coffee while the brunette stayed glued to the stool.

"Buck, you coming?" Steve turned back to see a frowning Bucky, reluctantly trudging behind the captain while the others excitedly also made their way upstairs to the conference area.

"I heard Tony saying the new agent is scary as shit. Apparently he got his ass handed to him when he tried to test her and he was wearing his suit" Sam snorted while Nat smiled with excitement.

"Finally someone worth sparring with" The redhead nudged him while he shook his head.

"I'm serious! She's deadly deadly. I looked over her file, she's killed more people than you and Clint combined and half of those were hand to hand combat"

"What was the other half"

"Sniper. Like Barnes" Sam nodded to Bucky who was still disconnected from the others, his knee bouncing impatiently.

"We're lucky she's on our side" Steve mused, taking a glance of the file that sat on the table. There was no name or picture to go with it but it had a skillset record nearly put his to shame. "Jesus"

"You good?" Sam whispered to Bucky, noticing he was more closed off than usual, getting a tightlipped grimace like smile in return. Steve sat near the front, straightening himself up while the rest quietened down, hearing the sound of Tony speaking to someone as they approached the room. The billionaire opened the door, letting in the new team member first before entering himself with a large smile on his face.

"Everyone, this is-

"Y/n?" Bucky gasped, shoot up from his seat before Tony could finish, the other sharing confused glances between each other, watching the new team member and Bucky freeze.

"Wait, Barnes, you know-

"Malyshka, eto pravda ty?" [Babygirl, is it really you?] Bucky gasped, his heart hammering against his chest, tears already threatening to spill out. "kotenok, skazhi mne, pozhaluysta, chto eto ty" [kitten, please tell me its you]

"Hold up, he can still speak Russian?" Sam hissed to Steve who hadn't moved, mouth gaping, eyes wide.

"James!" You darted across the room to meet Bucky half way, his strong arms catching and lifting you up with ease as your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. "moy soldat. YA zdes', moy malysh" [my soldier. I'm here my babyboy]

"It's really you" He whispered against your hair, breathing in your soft scent, eyes squeezed shut with tears streaming down his face, "My baby" He cradled you tightly, refusing to set you down while you buried your face into the crook of his neck, drowning out the rest of the world. After you were torn apart from him, you had been locked up in an isolated cell, only let out for select missions Dreykov send you on. You wanted to find your soldier, your James, but you never did with Hydra keeping him under their control.

Now you finally had him again.

"Ahem, as I was saying- This is y/n" Tony addressed the rest of the team, just as surprised as the rest of them with all eyes on Bucky especially. "She'll be joining us once Barnes puts her down"

"Never" Bucky finally pulled away, still holding onto you, his nose nudging against yours, "M'never putting her down, never, you hear me babygirl?" He pressed his lips onto yours, shamelessly kissing you hard, ignoring the whistles that filled the room, only pulling away for air. You let out a shy giggle as he set you back on your feet, his hand wrapped around your waist.

"I'd continue to introduce her but I think tinman knows her better" Tony snorted, throwing his hands up before taking a seat, all eyes now watching two of you while Bucky blushed, unable to wipe the smile of his face, cupping your face to press another kiss to your lips.

"This is y/n" Bucky finally let you go, taking you to the front of the conference room, now proudly showing you off to the other, "She was a widow with Hyrda, handpicked by Dreykov" Bucky sucked in a breath before continuing, giving your hand a squeeze "I trained her in the red room myself when I was still the winter soldier. That's when I fell in love with her" The last part was a whisper, not missed by the team with how lovesick Bucky looked.

"I'm sorry, you trained her? Jesus, no wonder she's deadly" Sam shook his head, now understanding why your file was so impressive. You were already gifted when you were picked, coupled with the fact that you were trained and conditioned by the soldier himself.

"She's fuckin' deadly, alright" Bucky's voice was nearly breathless, his baby blues intently gazing into your eyes. "You should see her with a knife"

That's when I fell in love with you.

"So what happened with you two" Nat prodded, looking at you two with heart eyes which was a rare sight but her heart melted at how soft Bucky was, struggling to keep his hands to himself. He constantly nuzzled into your neck, his large form practically swallowing you whole as he clung onto you like a child.

"They found out we were together so they took me from him" You gave her a sad smile, feeling Bucky hug you tighter; you could have sworn you heard him whimper. "I tried to find him for years but I couldn't"

"Hydra tried to wipe my memories but it never worked. Couldn't forget her" Bucky kissed the top of your head, not realizing his bestfriend was trying to subtly wipe his eyes.

"I was going to have everyone introduce themselves but I think these two have some catching up to do so let's move this meeting over" Tony clapped his hands while everyone else nodded in agreement, leaving you and Bucky alone for some privacy.

"I missed you so much, you have no idea, I-I tried to find you but I just- I could barely function, I'm sorry doll-" Your lips cut off Bucky's rambling, cupping his scruffy face firmly in your hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry about baby, it's not your fault"

"I-I know you just got here and-sweets I don't want to rush anything but-" Bucky's hand gripped your waist while he tried to compose himself, he didn't want to pressure you into anything. "I need you closer baby"

"Take me, soldat" You whispered, not giving him any room to second guess as he hauled you up in his arms, taking you straight to his room. Clothes were off in an instant between frantic and desperate kisses. Bucky didn't rush a thing as soon as he had you naked in his bed, pulling the sheets over you both, rolling over to cuddle instead.

"This is all I wanted" He whispered against your shoulder, kissing your skin, "To have my girl with me again"

"I love you Jamie" You kissed his bare chest, hitching your leg over his waist, his hard length pressing against your soaked cunt. He could feel his tip weeping feeling your soft body pressed against his, still looking just as beautiful, if not more now, from when he'd first met you.

"Prettiest widow" He growled, his wandering hands becoming less wholesome as they moved to your hips, pulling you to press against his erection harder. You moaned feeling him starting to hump your pussy while innocently kisses down your neck, smirking at how he was both sweet and sinful at the same time, just as before. "kotenok, ty mne nuzhen" [Kitten, I need you]

You remembered all the times he'd snuck into your cell for a few cuddles, which always ended up with his hand slammed over your mouth while he railed you with his cock.

"You feel how hard I am for you baby? Mmph, this is all for you, doll" He bit his lip, eyes locked with yours, rolling on top of you, slotting his wide body between your legs, still rutting his hips. "Can I make love to you baby, please" He sounded desperate, dropping his forehead to press against yours, hands coming to pin you against the bed.

"M'yours Jamie" You nodded, spreading your legs wider, not bothering with having prep you, needing him inside you more than anything else. You gasped feeling his thick cockhead rub through your folds before he breeched your hole, stretching you.

"Soldat!" You moaned, your back arching off the bed, the name rolling of your tongue as it had so many times before, your nails digging into his shoulders as he buried himself to the hilt.

"Take your soldat's cock, kotenok" Bucky growled, only giving you a second to adjust before he started to move with slow, deep strokes. "Lemme make love to my babygirl, ya tak sil'no tebya lyublyu" [I love you so much]

After Bucky had been rescued, he had no reason to speak Russian, letting the others think it'd been wiped away just like the words that controlled him. Around you, it rolled off his tongue with ease, your pussy dripping each time he whispered in your ear. Your eyes rolled back feeling him hit that spongy spot deep in your pussy, crying out with the powerful, deliberate snaps of his hips.

"M'I making you feel good baby?" He asked, kissing you sweetly, alternating between the sweetheart and heartbreaker he was, looking at you with soft puppy eyes while his cock grew harder watching your face twist with pleasure. His jaw was slack, thrusting with purpose, moving his hips to roll and let you feel every inch of him filling you up, "You look gorgeous with my cock in you angel, wish you could see how pretty you are, so beautiful like this"

"Oh god James! P-please-m'so close-dont-don-t stop" Your moans grew more salacious, unable to say much else, eyes shutting out of pleasure feeling his hand coming down to rub your swollen clit.

"I know baby, I know, you need me to rub this pretty button, Remember the first time I touched you there pretty girl? How badly you wanted to scream, how much you squirted all over me? Remember when we first made love? First time I tasted you? Remember how shy you were when I spread your legs open and nursed off that little button. How you turned into a slutty kitten, riding and humping my face after? Know your needy little clit loves it, m'gonna rub you till you're screaming"

"Buckyyy" You whined, your face feeling hot at the memory, remembering his growls from under you, turning around to find him jerking his cock faster while he licked and sucked your pussy, cum already painting his abs from cumming once, working to a second orgasm. He'd sealed his lips around your clit, stuffing his mask in your mouth to keep you from alerting the guards.

"Baby, c'mon open your eyes, look at me" Bucky nipped your jaw, his cold hand coming to grasp your cheeks, blue eyes staring into your soul as you opened your eyes, "Don't you dare close them baby, keep em' open when I'm fuckin' you, shit, m'gonna cum for you doll"

"B-Bucky!" You cried, struggling to hold off any longer, your juices soaked him as you started to clench and squeeze his cock, tears nearly streaming down your face.

"Scream all you want baby, don't have to hide those pretty moans ever again" He fucked you through your orgasm, his own balls getting tighter with each thrust, precum mixing with your arousal, dripping onto the sheets, "Thats-that-s it baby, m'gonna cum so hard for you, fill you up, you're mine doll, you're fuckin' MINE"

Bucky's hand flew to the headboard, pounding you into the mattress, moaning loudly, letting the wood splinter under his grip as he came, pumping you full of his seed.

"FUCK y/n" He gasped, collapsing on you, panting, burying his face into your breasts as he always did, turning into a needy baby as if he didn't rail your soul. You giggled, tracing your hand down his spine making his shiver, whining when you clenched around his sensitive, soft cock.

"My soldat" You whispered, carding your fingers through his hair, letting him latch onto your nipple, needily sucking for comfort. No matter how big, bad and scary he was, he always melted into a puddle for you, closing his eyes at the feeling of your sweet peaked nipple against his tongue.

"Never letting you go again" He whispered before falling asleep on your chest, arms wrapped tightly around you. "ty moya rodstvennaya dusha, malyshka" [you're my soul mate, babygirl]

"YA by proshel cherez vse eto snova tol'ko radi tebya, malysh" [I'd go through it all again just for you baby boy] you whispered, closing your eyes in the safety of his hold, meaning each of your words. You'd go through everything a thousand times over if it meant you'd have your Bucky back in your arms. Bucky sniffled, curling up with you, spending the rest of the day alternating between speaking sweet words and making you moan and cry over his cock until you couldn't move any longer. For the first time, he slept peacefully, not stirring once.

-

Ever since you'd come back, Bucky had turned into the biggest simp, alternating between acting like a menace and a complete lovesick puppy with no in between. It was worse when you were on the field, almost leading to Tony refusing to let you both go on missions at the same time.

"Oh god" Bucky groaned, seeing you step out in your sleek suit, the dark material clinging to your body, weapons strapped along your hips. You threw him a wink before running off to kick ass, his focus solely on you.

"Jesus Christ" He nearly moaned seeing you land a kick to an attacker before throwing you knife across the room, the blade landing perfectly between your targets eyebrows. "Baby, you're sexy"

"For fucks Sake Barnes, did you forget we can all hear you" Tony's exasperated voice crackled through, this not being the first time the soldier was distracted watching you fight. Sam and Steve snickered through the coms while Bucky shameless shrugged, still biting his lip, watching you move with ease.

"Have you seen my girl, Stark" Bucky sassed back, walking over bodies to grab you by your ass, squeezing it and smashing his lips against yours.

"Are you two fucking kissing?!" Tony sighed, hearing the sound of soft moans and smacking, "I'm putting you on a fucking leash, I'm getting you fixed Barnes"

"My naughty soldat" You giggled, pulling away, nipping your boyfriends pouty lip while he shook his head.

"Gonna be the death of me, pretty girl"

"You're both gonna be the death of all of us" Tony deadpanned, unable to understand how there was a man out there that was more horny and flirty than him. "I'm having Barnes neutered, for fucks sake I can see you drooling from over here"

-

Bucky was even worse watching you display your skills, his workout long forgotten while you sparred with Steve.

"Where the fuck did you learn that" Steve groaned while you giggled, holding your hand out to help him up while Bucky watched from the side with a cocky smirk.

"I taught her that" He threw you a wink, not so subtly adjusting his sweats.

"Of course you did" Steve huffed, surprised to find bruises on his body from where you'd hit him. "Jesus punk" He blushed heavily seeing his bestfriends raging hard on, scrambling away from the gym, knowing exactly what would come next.

The loud moans he heard moments later made him shake his head, happy he got out of there unlike the last time he saw the warning signs of a feral Bucky.

Aside from being more in love with you than ever, Bucky was also equally protective over you. He'd hug you with such care, always holding your head to his chest, his large arms covering you from the rest of the world, constantly fearing that even if he had you now, someone would come and take you away.

When he finally asked you to marry him, he paused several times, blinking through tears while down on one knee, your hand wiping his cheek, saying yes before he could even finish. The compound was transformed with flowers, candles with a small intimate wedding in the garden.

Steve and Sam stood by Bucky's side while Nat walked with you, your sweet soon to be husband biting back tears seeing his dream girl in her dress, the life he'd always imagine finally becoming a reality. When Tony pronounced you husband and wife, Bucky didn't stop kissing you till he nearly passed out, not a single dry eye surrounding you as he whisked you up in his arms.

-

Bucky felt a strong wave of emotion watching you flit around the kitchen, making his way over and wrapping his arms from behind, tucking his face into your neck. You blinked, feeling tears wet your skin, pulling away to find your husband sniffling.

"Baby, what's gotten into you" You cooed with concern, wiping away the tears that collected along his lashes, kissing his reddened nose. "Is everything okay?"

"Just-m'scared to lose you again" Bucky whispered, his hand coming to protectively wrap around your growing belly; you weren't showing much yet but he could still feel the little baby bump. "I can't loose you again angel, I can't go through that again"

"It won't happen Jamie" You wrapped your arms around his shoulders while he picked you up, setting you onto the counter before hiding against your neck again, hugging you tightly. "What's wrong baby, what's gotten you so scared"

"Can't believe I got you back. I got to marry my dream girl. We're starting a family, you're giving me a baby, I-it feels unreal. M'scared I'm gonna wake up and you'll-" He bit his lip, shuddering at the very thought, "You'll be gone"

"Baby boy look at me" You held his face again, making him look at you, "Would you ever let anyone take me from you again?"

Bucky looked horrifying, francially shaking his head, he'd burn the world to ashes before he let that happen.

"Never. Never angel, no one is taking you or our baby from me" He stated firmly while you hummed.

"See? I'll be just fine. I have my soldat" You whispered, melting against his chest. "No one can hurt me when I have my soldat"

Bucky finally relaxed, carrying you off to bed, his metal arm protecting your belly as he pulled the covers over you both. No one would ever take his little widow away again.

[frogchiro]

OK so I'm totally backpacking off of some other ask about ovulating y/n and octo!König, but hear me out.

Butcher-Slasher!Ghost has a very strong sense of smell and he picked up a small whiff of y/n ovulating as she's getting her monthly supply meat from his butcher shop. Home boy had to root himself to his spot or he would've jumped over the counter to breed y/n in the middle of his store in broad daylight at the busiest time of the week.

We all know Ghost only has two thoughts on his head and it's to breed y/n and to protect y/n. Ghost over here with 2 brain cells and both revolve around y/n 😂😂 Like a lost fucking puppy without y/n to hold his. hand.

And now we're getting to this baby ;; I was rereading this the whole day and I won't lie, my ovaries did a flip ;;

Butcher!Ghost who has a very keen nose and while he obviously knew and loved how you smell, so warm and soft, today you smelled...a little bit off. Obviously you didn't stink or anything! But,, somehow you smelled a little warmer, more sweet and cloying and Simon swears he almost jumped you right there in the middle of the day in his own shop with people present when he realized what it was- you were ovulating.

It was like a flip of a switch and suddenly every single primal instinct in him started basically roaring for him to take you, shove his thick lengthy cock inside you and empty his heavy pulsing balls deep inside you, his swollen red tip right against your precious cervix and making sure his seed sticks. And it would, it fucking surely would, especially now with your soft body basically screaming that you're ready to breed with him :((

Instead you just smiled at him all sweet and polite like you always do and asked him if he liked the cherry crumble cake you gifted him last week after he left you some particularly good cuts of meat and he, like always, replied in that gravely tone of his that of course it was good because it always is; you're an amazing cook and even better baker, his thoughts returning for a second back into his fantasies about you, all heavy and swollen with his offspring, in a pretty loose dress with an apron tied around your swollen waist as you bake a cake for him, the domesticity of it almost making him hard under his bloodied white apron.

And, like fucking always, you give him another sweet smile of yours before you bid him your goodbye and walk out of the shop to run further errands. Ohhh if you only knew what you do to him, especially in your current state. Later that night Simon was in his rickety old bed in the small apartment above his shop, jerking off like he was in heat, all growly and frustrated and angry :(( He thrusted his strong, broad hips upwards, chasing the feeling of his tightly closed fist, his potent thick sperm leaking out of his tip like a faucet, the remains of two orgasms were cooling on his hairy belly and chest and yet his balls were still heavy and aching, his thick cock pulsing with the need to be shoved inside your cunt but all he had was his fantasy of breeding you all night with a pillow shoved under your broad hips to ensure his seed would stick </3

[haikyu-mp4]

Emergency contact

word count; 1047 – f!reader

“I don’t mean to be rude but, why are you here?” Semi asked you, one hand clutching his head and the other rubbing his eyes. He couldn’t quite believe his eyes right now.

“I could ask you the same thing. Apparently, I’m your emergency contact.”

The cogs were slowly turning in his head with the help of that single brain cell he always seemed to rely on. “Ohh... the drinking game.”

“You played a drinking game with emergency contacts? Do you know how serious that is?” you scolded him. That’s the y/n he remembered from high school. Diligent y/n, student president and his seemingly hopeless crush. Too different to hang out in high school, when everyone had their circles and stuck to them. He even dramatically told his friends you were the one that got away when there was liquor in his system, yet here you were. Back in his life as his emergency contact after he fell off stage.

When he went out for drinks with some old teammates from Shiratorizawa to catch up, they asked if he ever got your number before graduation. He proudly presented the contact like it was a treasure, which led to someone daring him to put you as his emergency contact. Crazy, right?

He ignored your concern, waving his hand in hopes you’d drop it. “Remind me what happened, please. Was it cool?”

“A light fixture fell on your thick head and then you fell off stage.”

He smiled sheepishly but held up a rock sign with his hand. “I’m a rockstar.” The small laugh under your breath made him happy, but happiness made his head hurt again so he winced instead. You carefully sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

“Why wouldn’t they call your parents?”

“I’m not in contact with them anymore.” A silence fell over you and you looked at him sympathetically, but still managed a small smile. He seemed to be getting tired again already, you couldn’t even imagine how much his head must hurt. The doctor said he was lucky it didn’t hit him harder, or with a sharp edge. No broken bones either, so he just had to stay until the concussion was under control.

“Because you’re a rockstar?” you whispered, making him smile again and nod. You hummed at his confirmation, watching as his eyes fell closed and he went back to sleep again.

He’s still so pretty, you thought. His hair was a bit messier and his face a bit more lived in but still the pretty setter you remember. Some sweet pick-up line would leave his lips every time he passed you back then, and you would frown and tell him to focus on school. You never figured out if he knew how flustered he made you. Surely, he must have known with that stupid smirk on his face.

When Semi woke up again, he wondered if you had actually been there or if it was all some weird dream. He slowly opened his eyes, nervous to see who he heard shuffling around. Someone was there, but it wasn’t you, and his face fell along with his chest as he let out the breath he held in anticipation.

“Hello, love,” the older nurse said, coming over to check his reaction time and other standard things. Semi let her, not really conversing while she checked him. Maybe she was never here…

He cleared his throat, looking up at the woman. “Was there a girl, uh sorry, a woman here earlier?”

“Right!” she said and Semi could swear he felt anticipation clutching onto his heart. “She had to make some calls so she’s in the cafeteria waiting for you. When you feel stable enough to get up, please have two painkillers with this glass of water and then you are free to leave as you wish.”

Semi smiled. He smiled so brightly like the nurse had told him she cured some terrible sickness. “Thank you,” he said, bowing as well as he could from where he lay in the hospital bed. After she left, he slowly started sitting up, clutching the edge of the bed to stabilise himself. You’re waiting for him.

Semi walked into the cafeteria after signing out and getting a prescription for painkillers from the main desk. He had his concert clothes back on, looking around for a familiar face. And he found you, rigged up with your computer and notepad with a phone resting between your shoulder and ear. You were frowning while talking to someone on the phone and Semi shouldn’t think it’s so hot, but he did.

He walked over and sat across from you, leaning his chin on the top of the screen. You made eye contact and huffed, telling whoever was on the line that you would get back to them tomorrow. “Hey there, rockstar,” you cooed, leaning on your hand with your elbow resting on the table.

“You stayed,” was all he answered.

“Someone needs to drive you home,” you sighed. You leaned forward and held out your hand, planting your pointer finger under his chin. He was high on painkillers and could swear the two of you were about to kiss despite not seeing each other for years, but then you just flicked his chin up a bit to close the computer. “Let’s go, pretty boy.”

If Semi liked you before, this new confidence you grew into had him on his knees. Not literally, but he was watching your every move as you packed up your stuff and finally stood up. Semi got up with you, quickly reaching out and grabbing the strap of your bag so he could hoist it up on his shoulder with a cheeky smile. There was still a low beat playing in his head from the earlier headache, but he did his best to ignore it. You huffed and turned around, leading him to the car while repeating everything the nurse told him to remember earlier while he just pretended to listen. Again, you wondered if he knew you were flustered.

Surely, he knew with a smirk like that. Maybe you should make sure he gets safely into his apartment and then kiss the stupid smirk off his face. That sounds like a good plan.

masterlist

/for Semi-lover @cosmiicdust <3

[voicesknewmyghosts]

Take A Piece Of Me With You

MINORS DNI  18+ ONLY

Synopsis: Tara finally has you alone.

TW: rough sex, Top Tara, Bottom Reader. 

They are consenting adults in a kinky relationship, they both have safewords and have discussed scenes previously. 

Finally. The apartment is empty. No Sam, no Chad, no Mindy. The silence is almost…deafening, considering how loud this place has been over the months with everyone living together and having game nights and dinners together. Tara places her bag down on the table and takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and basking in the silence that has fallen over the apartment. 

It’s been a crazy few months evading Ghostface once again and trying to settle into a somewhat normal life as a college student. You had been her constant throughout it all; her beautiful girlfriend, someone who stood by her even when her anger seemed to get the best of her; someone who served as the buffer between her and her sister Sam; someone who made her feel safe, calm and like the world might still have good people left in it. 

Tara wasn’t one to be the soppy person in a relationship; especially after Amber and the betrayal she experienced; but when you walked into her life? It felt like something had slotted back into place. The anger that had been bubbling at the surface ready to explode dissipated any time you smiled at her. The lonely nights spent shaking after nightmares of being attacked became non-existent with you being there every single time to hold her through any bad night she had. 

You had become her rock, and she wanted to repay you with something only she could give you. 

Looking at her watch, Tara estimated she had around 30 minutes before you got home, so she quickly got to work, getting everything ready for when you walked in the door. She wanted this night to be perfect, and she was going to do everything in her power to ensure it was. 

You’ve had a long day. Your eyes feel heavy, your body feels like you’re dragging it through mud, and all you want to do is collapse into the arms of your girlfriend and let her take it all away. Except, when you walk into your apartment, she’s nowhere to be found. This strikes you as odd, and after the last couple months of being stalked by a killer; you’re high on edge. You quietly put your bag down on the floor and call out for Tara, reaching for the knife on the counter top only to breathe a sigh of relief when she replies. 

You head to the bedroom, heart rate only just returning to normal until you see your Tara; your beautiful, stunning, sexy Tara sat on the bed in the most wonderful set of red lingerie you’ve ever set your eyes on. She looks at you with hooded eyes, and does something that causes your entire brain to short circuit.

She licks her lips. 

Tara outstretches her hand, crooking her pointing finger and beckons you forward. You feel as if you’re on the end of the leash and she’s pulling you to her; all bodily autonomy is forgotten as your legs start moving before your brain even knows what’s happening. 

“There’s my pretty girl.” She mumbles, hands already feeling their way down your arms, squeezing the muscles she feels there. She’s staring into your soul, her dark eyes are blown with lust and the way she’s sitting on the side of the bed with her legs wrapped around yours keeping you pinned in is singlehandedly going to end you, you’re sure of it. And that’s not even including the way her voice has dropped a few octaves. 

Tara Carpenter is going to be the death of you. You just hope it happens after what she has planned. 

“I know we haven’t had time to ourselves lately.” She says, hands still feeling their way around you, electrifying every cell in your body. “I want to make it up to you, my princess. Do you think you can let me do that?” 

No words are capable of being formed in your already hazy mind. A quick, frantic nod makes the girl in front of you chuckle before she stands, hands either side of your face, pulling you down to meet her. 

She places the softest of kisses to your lips, taking her time exploring how you taste, how your lips feel against hers. You place your hands on her hips, gently squeezing and rubbing your thumbs in circles over her skin. 

You could spend forever like this; lost in the feel of Tara’s lips against yours, her hands caressing your face, the soft skin of her hips underneath your fingertips. You completely forget everything that’s happened the last few months; you forget the hard day you had and just let yourself get lost in Tara. 

You don’t even notice she’s started turning you around until you’re pushed onto the bed, tripping over your own feet as you fall backwards onto the soft covers. You don’t even have time to ask Tara what she’s doing before she’s on top of you, using what little body weight she has to pin you under her, keeping you from being able to move. 

Her hands pin yours above your head, her legs pin yours down. You try wriggling only to be met with no movement at all. Tara has you completely at her mercy, and you’re certainly not complaining. 

“There. Don’t you look so perfect like that? Completely at my mercy?” 

Her voice is teasing as she peers down at you. Her eyes are boring holes into your soul, her gaze is so intense it makes you try to squirm away from the attention. Except, she doesn’t allow that. She tsks at you when you try to wriggle away from her penetrating gaze while pushing you further into the bed. 

“Come on now my pretty girl, no need to get shy. I just want to make you feel good.” 

Tara leans down, capturing your lips in a kiss so ferocious your breath is knocked out of your lungs and the heat between your legs becomes unbearable. You whine into her mouth, trying to push your hips up into hers, desperately searching for some kind of friction. 

Tara allows it for a moment; a fleeting moment where you’re able to grind against her leg filling you with the pleasure you’re so desperate for. And then she pulls away, and you have never groaned so loud in your life, whining like a pathetic puppy waiting for their owner's attention. 

The devil above you chuckles as she drags her tongue down your neck, sucking your skin in between her teeth as she leaves marks as dark as the night sky so everyone can see just who the needy mess beneath her belongs to. 

If you were in any kind of right mind you might have told her not to mark you so hard, wanting to save the humiliation of attempting and - ultimately - failing to hide the bruises she leaves all over your neck from the other people in your life. But your mind feels empty; like you’re floating away to another dimension the more Tara sucks and nibbles and bites you. 

You feel her hands caressing your ribs under your shirt, her nimble fingers drawing gasps from you with every gentle pattern she draws on your sensitive skin. Within seconds Tara has sat up above you and ripped off your shirt and bra, leaving you exposed and vulnerable to her ministrations.  Without a pause for breath her mouth is on your chest; her teeth nibbling, her tongue dancing and leaving wet, warm trails all over your skin. Your hands are still pinned; something you’re desperately beginning to fight so that you can feel the devil above you’s skin against yours; so you can scratch marks as red as blood down her back as she tears you apart and builds you back together. You want her to feel how good she makes you feel; you want her to have marks that remind her of what she can do to you. 

Your whining and pathetic attempts to fight the girl’s grip on your arms must have finally gotten through to Tara because she smirks while letting your skin go with a pop from its prison in her mouth. 

“You want to feel me too, hm?” Her eyes are so dark you can’t see the beautiful brown you normally get lost in, and all you can do to answer her is a frantic nod. 

You realise - even though your mind is so lost in the depths of subspace and being at the mercy of someone who has the ability to simultaneously destroy you completely and build you back stronger than you’ve ever been - that you must look like a pathetic, trembling, whining mess of somebody who prides themselves on being an independent, strong woman. You realise that you should probably try to save yourself the humiliation of being Tara’s little play toy, and yet, at the same time, you realise that giving Tara this control over you is just as powerful as being the one in control. You feel safe with this woman, but you are giving her the freedom to do whatever she wants to you; anything at all, and you would be powerless to stop her. And that, in itself, is freeing. 

And then Tara takes her bra off and all thoughts - however fleeting, disappear into the void as she finally lets your hands go. 

Jolts of electricity hit your wet cunt as she takes your nipple into her mouth and gently sucks, swirling her tongue around the sensitive bud. You use your newfound freedom to scratch deep marks into her naked back, making her groan and tremble beneath your touch. You wrap your still clothed legs around her back, drawing her ever closer to you, not wanting to risk her trying to move away from you. 

“Tara, please baby.” You are fully aware of how pathetic you sound, but right now, you couldn’t care less. “Please baby touch me.” 

Your voice is breathy and high pitched, but you’re only greeted with a smirk wrapped around your nipple.

“Patience my pet.” Tara practically purrs as she takes her sweet time trailing her tongue down your chest and to your stomach. “Good girls get rewarded, but you have to be patient.” 

You almost cum on the spot as her fingers hook into your pants and finally, finally expose your dripping pussy to the cold air. 

Your head suddenly feels so heavy as you watch Tara lick her lips as she lowers her mouth level with your cunt. 

“Oh my babygirl you are so wet for me.” She purrs, slipping a finger easily through your soaked folds. You can’t help the choked moan that is ripped from your throat the moment you feel Tara’s hot breath against your clit, and you can’t help reaching your hands down to hold her head where you need her most. 

She obliges, nipping her tongue out to draw soft, gentle circles around your clit. Her nails dig crescent shaped holes into your thighs as she holds your legs down, still wanting you to feel restrained even if she’s allowing you the mercy of holding onto her hair. You can’t keep your head up to look at her any longer so you drop it down to the pillow and allow your girl to take care of you.

You’re certain Tara was a torturer in a past life. Her ability to tease you until you’re crying and sobbing for her to finally push you over the edge is unnerving to say the least. Her tongue against your clit and her practiced movements are carefully planned to keep you just slowly coming towards the edge at a pace so leisurely it’s agonising.

“Tara, please-” 

A sharp stinging pain against your bare thigh silences whatever begging you were about to do, and when you risk a glance down at the devil between your legs you’re greeted with a stern look that soaks the sheets beneath you with your wetness. 

You decide that trying to get Tara to listen to you is a losing battle, and so you do the only thing you can think of:

You grab her head and grind.

Big mistake.

It’s shocking to you; just how much strength this five foot nothing girl holds in her tiny body. You always find yourself enamoured by it; whether it’s watching her play soccer with friends, or going to the gym together, or play fighting at home.

But you don’t think you’ve ever been this shocked at her hidden strength.

She has you bent over her lap in a split second; all wriggling legs and frantic hands desperately trying to find a grip on the unwaivering rock holding you down. 

Sharp stinging pains begin to erupt from your upturned bottom; every hit is measured and placed perfectly to produce the maximum amount of pain. Blood rushes to your head; you don’t even hear the loud thwack of Tara’s palm colliding with your exposed skin that echoes around the otherwise silent room. You don’t even realise you’re crying out with every spank until Tara is shoving your underwear into your mouth with a promise to make you regret it if you were to dare to spit it out. 

“I told you,” she punctuates every word with a hard spank, making the stinging pain in your bottom become near unbearable, “patient, good girls get rewarded. It appears you are neither a patient nor a good girl.” 

She lays ten more hard, powerful spanks to your behind before placing your numb, lifeless body on the bed then disappearing somewhere out of sight. You would call out for her if your mind wasn’t as fuzzy as it is, if you didn’t feel like you were floating through clouds on your way to a different heavenly dimension. Instead you lie still, basking in the weightless feeling coursing through your body, content to just take whatever Tara has planned for you. 

You can feel her eyes on your exposed body. You can feel her rake her stare over the skin that’s glistening with sweat in front of her, admiring the state she’s managed to put you in. You feel the bed dip as she climbs on top of you, and when you look up you’re face to face with the person who managed to tear you apart and leave you a trembling, uncomfortably wet mess with no ability to form thoughts. 

The smirk she gives you leaves a sticky mess between your legs.

“How do you feel, pretty girl?” She asks you with concern as she leans down to pepper kisses on your forehead.

“Good.” You manage to croak out, trying to convey through eye contact alone just how much you need Tara inside of you and how much you need her now.

“Oh? Is someone a little desperate, hm?” She teases, beginning the torturous trail of her tongue slowly down your body once again. You try to reach for her; beg her to touch you but your limbs feel like they're encased in concrete and so, deciding (for once) to be her good girl, you lie your head down and relax, much to the delight of the woman currently swirling her tongue through your wet folds.

“That’s my good girl.” She cooes. “Now, I’m going to fuck you like you’ve begging me for, and you are going to take it like my good girl, or I will spank you until you physically can’t take it anymore. Understand?” 

The frantic nodding of your head makes the little devil chuckle, and she doesn’t give you any time to change your mind before she takes your clit into her mouth, sucking it and licking it like her life depends on it. 

The moans that are escaping your mouth are grotesque to say the least; but you can’t stop them, not when Tara is spreading you open and plunging two fingers deep into your heat, fucking you with such abandon that you think she’s going to split you apart from the inside out. Her lips are still wrapped around your clit, her tongue moving at a steady pace and you feel yourself tumble over the edge with a scream, the pleasure coursing through your body already feeling like it's too much to handle. 

You want to catch your breath, let the orgasm ride its way out of your body, but you’re not given that privilege. Instead, your legs are thrown over Tara’s shoulders and she’s entering you with your favourite strap, stretching your tight walls around its length, not letting you adjust before she’s ramming into you hard, using your hips as leverage to get herself as deep as possible. 

You’re certain if she manages she to keep this up for much longer you’re going to pass out, and you do try to tell her you don’t think you can handle the pace but the dark look she gives you is enough to make you keep your mouth, knowing the consequences if you can’t take what she gives you. 

And so you lie there, legs spread lewdly apart, your pussy squelching with every rough movement of your girlfriend’s hips. You fall over the cliff much less graciously than before when she reaches down to play with your clit, gasps and groans being ripped from your throat as dark spots begin to appear at the edges of your vision.

Your body is so numb you can’t even tell when Tara flips you on your front, pulling at your hips to put you onto all fours, and then she’s pushing inside of you once more and slamming her hips into yours. She grabs onto your ponytail, wrapping the roots of your hair around her fingers and pulls. 

Two things happen at once: first, your walls constrict almost painfully once more as the nimble fingers circling your very sensitive clit push you over the cliff into yet another climax, second; Tara pushes your head down into the mattress and ruts into you like a bitch in heat, slamming her hips as hard and as fast as she can.

You can’t take it. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and your body goes completely limp, the ache in your cunt from the rough fucking is pushed so far to the back of your mind you can almost forget its there. You can hear Tara grunting next to your ear - a tell tale sign she’s about to cum - but it sounds like she’s 100 miles away, your senses have numbed, the world around you has become distant and far away, lost to your hazy mind.

“One more babygirl, one more for me.” Tara grunts into your ear. You can tell she’s close by the way her hips are losing their rhythm and she’s getting rougher with every stroke. You focus on the sensation of her expertly hitting that spongy spot inside of you, focus on the dominating weight of her lying on your back as she ruts into you, nails scratching angry red marks into your back as she uses your skin for leverage. 

And then you’re screaming; the constriction of your already battered cunt so painful your head goes foggy, and you let yourself get lost into the haziness as your heavy eyes close and the world goes dark.

You wake to the feeling of warmth surrounding every muscle of your body. Gentle hands are carefully running a soft cloth down your legs, cleaning up the mess she made. You’re so sore, so stiff, and the feeling of even the gentlest of touches down there makes you groan and shift away. 

“Hello sleepy head.” The devil in disguise greets you, leaning down to place a soft kiss to your forehead. You can only groan in response, but you reach out for her, desperate to have something to hold onto as you begin to crash back down to Earth.

“I’m sorry I went so rough, are you okay?” You can hear the concern in her voice and do everything you can to reassure her you’re okay without words, looking up at her with big soft eyes trying to convey every emotion you’re feeling right now. She seems to understand and thanks you with a sleepy smile and a kiss to your lips. 

“I’m going to finish cleaning you up, then I’ll get you out of the bath and we can put a movie on?” You nod in response, letting your eyes close as your girl takes care of you, letting her do what she needs to after a rough scene to make sure you’re okay.

You drift off as the warm water lulls you into a peaceful sleep, and Tara can’t help but admire your sleeping form. 

She picks you up carefully so as not to wake you, dries you off as best she can, gently places you onto the fresh sheets on your bed and grabs water and snacks before joining you back in the bed. She sits there for a while holding you close to her, admiring the marks she left all over you and the way you look so peaceful curled up in her arms.

Tara doesn’t know what she did in life to deserve you, but if she’s sure of one thing; she’ll do everything she can to earn the right to call you hers.

[i984]

Sweet Words Make a Lovely Shade | Part 1

|Pairing|: Wednesday Addams x gender neutral reader.

|Warnings|: Ooc! Wednesday Addams, mentions of gore, Wednesday being uncharacteristically tame, reader likes to test boundaries, Wednesday gives bone-breaking hugs, no beta; we die like my brain cells.

|Summary|: You test your luck by putting Wednesday Addams in a compliment jail. 

|Word count|: 2.7k words

|A/n|: I ended up not changing a thing. I took some liberty with your request 💡anon, hope you still enjoy it! | Part 2 is available in my masterlist.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Love  

It does wonders for a person. 

And for you? Well, it makes you spew the utmost revolting, foolish, and absurd things out of your mouth—Wednesday's words, not yours. You think it's her way of saying she likes the compliments you practically shower her with. 

At first, you didn't even realize you were doing it. You could be sitting next to the raven-haired girl in class, having some lunch together, reading books in the library, or on your occasional walks around town, and you only have one single recurring thought that you can't seem to get out of your mind; 

Wednesday Addams—your precious sadistic little girlfriend—is so pretty.  

And not to be shallow or anything; after all, you like her for many different things. Her intelligence, wittiness, and her I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude. Her obsession with everything macabre, the monochromic-colored outfits that perfectly suit her, and the way she uses words you can't even begin to comprehend half the time. 

But then there's the way her hair has that lustrous glow, and then the rare grin she cracks when it's just the two of you, the constant little pout in her lips, and don't even start about her plump dark burgundy lips; Oh, you wanna kiss her-  

"-so bad," you mumbled out absent-mindedly, and Wednesday slowly looked up from her double cap—mouth gaping slightly at the suddenness of your words—her eyes blinking rapidly at you.  

"Oh- no no no I was just thinking and I got distracted because your lips look SO pretty!" Your voice was louder than you had intended for it to be, and you quickly covered your mouth—a pointless act as the slip-up had already been done. 

Wednesday only spared you a sharp glare before standing up from your shared sofa booth, already heading towards the Cafe entrance. Before you can even explain yourself, she had already bolted out, leaving you and her double cap behind. 

You know that Wednesday is not big on PDAs; soft kisses and gentle touches are reserved for private quarters. And even then, you can tell that her moves are calculated—afraid of doing too much that she'd find herself in a compromising position. 

But you didn't miss the darkening of her freckle-painted cheeks as she snuck a peek at your figure from outside Weathervane, and that's when you realized; 

Oh.  

Well, this is gonna be fun. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You walk to your dorm room with a dopey grin on your face, recounting the things that happened earlier.  

You've figured it all out. Wednesday might act like she isn't affected by other people's words and opinions about her—and in most cases, this is true—except when it comes from you.  

She caught you wearing a hoodie of hers? Now you have three more in your closet. You respond a beat late to some disputable thing she mentions? She immediately apologized for being insensitive and asked your take on the subject. You told her that she looked good in that checkered sweater? Now she wears the piece of garment all the time. Ask her to binge-watch all 10 seasons of My Little Pony with you? It would give her nightmares for weeks, yes, but absolutely.  

You quickly realize that you're one of the few people lucky enough to have Wednesday tolerate you to a certain degree. So you do the obvious—run after Wednesday after leaving some money on the table, and then shout at the top of your lungs, "I LIKE YOUR LIPS WEDNESDAY ADDAMS"  

You swear to God, you've never seen someone bolt out of your view so quickly. She didn't even spare a single disapproving glance at you—on normal occasions she would—but now, as people stop in their tracks to see who your words are pointed to, she's gone, nowhere to be seen.  

It's cute, how much she's affected by your words. And that's why, as you open your dorm room door, you walk straight to your thinking desk past a figure, planning to come up with new ways to fluster your girlfriend. 

Wait. Past a figure? 

You turn your head to see Wednesday Addams standing still, looking daggers at you, and you know things are about to go down.  

You smile coyly at her while taking a seat. The raven-haired girl's gaze trails your every movement. She looks almost predatory in this state. Like she's about to tear you apart to shreds. 

You hold your head high as you speak, "Is something wrong, Wens?" A pet name. You've heard Wednesday made it clear time and time again to Enid that she was against pet names. And you've never called her one before. But you're willing to gamble your life this time just to see how far she would tolerate you. 

So you maintain your perfect facade, and it was all worth it as you see Wednesday's eyes widen at the morbidity of your words—the good kind, you'd assume—and you saw her mouth open and close a couple of times, trying to say something deprecating and failing acutely.  

She stands awkwardly like that for a moment; her hands making little gestures as if she was trying to make a point while maintaining her look of utter disbelief at your behavior. 

You figured if you didn't egg on her a little more, she wouldn't let her guard down, so you decided to turn your back on her and pulled out a book to read. 

"What are you doing?" You can hear the stress in her words. You can picture her look right now; her jaw clenched, teeth gritted, brows furrowed in dismay. 

"I'm reading a book, as you can see with those pretty brown eyes of yours." You flipped a few pages, eyes tracing along the shape of letters and words, not really paying any mind to the actual content. 

"All right then," exasperation is evident in her voice, and you have to fight yourself from snickering at the situation. 

You've always been very careful around Wednesday, trying not to agitate her into giving you snarky comments—she still gives them nonetheless, and you find it amusing as time goes by—but curiously, she's not giving you any at the moment. And if you are to guess, it's probably because she physically can't bash you for your words. Not when she's fighting for her life with feelings she refuses to acknowledge most of the time. 

You hear her footsteps grow distant—she's heading for the door, you figured—and you don't even bother to look up as you say, "Come back soon, tesoro,"  

The sound of footsteps ceased. 

"Are you really going to keep doing this?" You can tell by Wednesday's voice that she is trying so hard not to burst at your display—you were never like this after all—from rage or the compliments, you don't know. But you figure you'll find out if you pick the right words. 

"Keep doing what, Wens?" You spin in your chair to her, your voice dripping with honey, with faux innocence. You can see her face turn colors into one of carnation, her lips thinning into a line as she tears her gaze apart from you. 

"You. Know. What." Wednesday strains every word, her tone is low as if to intimidate you, but you know the ball is in your court. 

"What? Telling you how pretty your lips are? In front of a lot of people? 

"Yes, exactly-" 

"And that I wanna kiss those lips of yours so badly? Dark plump lips like yours are my favorite, by the way," you look at her in the eyes as you speak, and you let your gaze trail down her face, and Wednesday fidgets with the hem of her top. 

"Oh wait, actually, you are my favorite." 

Wednesday glares at you—an act that usually works with Enid and everyone else when she wants to avoid certain conversations—but you are unfazed. You have her exactly where you want right now, and judging by the absence of a knife in her hand, you're going to assume that she's more than okay with what you're doing.  

"But wait. Oh. Is this about the fact that I know you blushed so hard when I complimented you? Every single time, did you notice that?" You stood up from your seat, throwing the book atop your desk.  

"I know you like it, Wens," you smirked, the nickname easily sliding out your tongue the more you said it, "I know you like me."  

"Oh, you are so full of yourself-" 

"You know what else I like? The way your pout grows bigger—as we're speaking right now, yes," and you see her face growing a scowl as you take a step closer towards her, "and now you're clenching your jaw slightly, god, you look so cute doing that."  

"I do not look cute, and if you cut my words off-" 

"Do you know that your micro facial expressions are probably the most adorable thing I ever get to witness?" 

"-again, I will cut your tongue and force-feed it to you."  

You ignore your girlfriend's words, continuing the torture you've devised for her. "No, not probably. Definitely the most adorable thing ever."  

A broad grin sprouted on your face, the one Wednesday always calls 'the idiotic grin' but you know she secretly likes it, and you can't be happier right now. You're experiencing a power trip; adrenaline rushing through you to continue your teasing despite the possibility of being mute in the future. 

"And that? Right there. Just now. The way you just announce dangerous threats? And sometimes about people's demise? Now, that is attractive."  

Wednesday decided that she's had enough of your antics. Her hand reaches for the doorknob, and you trail after her out of your dormitory. 

"Do not follow me," Wednesday hushed, and you walk beside her trying to catch up as she seems to speed up her pace.  

"I'm not following you, we just happen to be walking in the same direction- Oh, hi Bianca!" You see the girl waving back at you as you both walk through the quad; Wednesday did not acknowledge Bianca's presence as usual. 

"Oh yeah, that reminds me. Remember when you totally beat the shit out of Bianca in that oral test last week? That is also incredibly attractive."  

Wednesday seemed to pay no mind as you continued your horrible strings of compliments, except for the fact that she's practically running through the corridors right now, embarrassed of being caught blushing by any of her peers. 

You know that at this point, you're threading a thin line between her turning into putty at your words or her leading you to a grave site, ready to smash your head with a rock once you get there. 

Well, she's heading towards Ophelia Hall now, so it's safe to say you won't be visiting the realms of the dead today. 

"It would be wise for you to quit whatever skulduggery you're doing if you don't want me to slice your head off at fencing class-," 

You raise your hand in mock defeat at her words, and you can see Wednesday's knuckles turn white in a fist as she continued her words, "-which will start in a couple of hours. So, leave me-" 

"Oh yeah, that got me thinking of how good you look when fencing. I mean, there's a reason why I never ever spar with you during class."  

"Yes, and it is your remarkable ineptitude in the sport." 

You shoot her a look of false hurt at her words, "How dare you- Well. I mean yes, but also have you seen yourself?" You speak out of breath, your legs slowly catching up with Wednesday's pace.  

"Yes, of course. I've been staring at a mirror in the middle of my sparring," Wednesday rolls her eyes at you, "and that's why I've been on a losing-" at this, you can see Wednesday practically seethe in anger as she chokes the word out, "-streak against Bianca Barclay."  

"No, silly, it's because I would be in complete awe," you decided not to comment further on the sore issue, opting to clear out the tension with—yes you guessed it—more compliments.  

"I mean, the all-black outfit? Your menacing strikes and your calculated steps, not to mention your disheveled hair and the concentrated look on your face?" You clasp your hand in front of your chest, eyes looking up dreamily at the memory, while the girl beside you scoffed in irritation. 

You're now at Ophelia Hall, and Wednesday continues her brisk walk toward her shared dorm room. You don't have much time left if you want to break her composed demeanor. 

"And yes, if I sparred with you, the exact situation you mentioned earlier would've happened. My head sliced off the very first second into the spar." 

"And I'd assume you wouldn't want that. So don't make me do it." 

"Quite the contrary, I wouldn't mind. I bet dying by such skillful hands would be an amazing experience." 

You can see the door now. Wednesday knows this as well. If she gets inside and locks you out, maybe you'll shut up and spare her from the torture that makes her gut feel like it's ripping her apart from the inside. 

"What do you think of adding my head as a mount on your room's wall? I'm sure Thing would appreciate the addition of another dismembered body part in the room." 

If Wednesday wasn't agitated before, she definitely is now. As she opens the door to her dorm room and turns her body to you, you can see that not only are her cheeks of blossoming color, the tips of her nose and ears are as well! It's as if this is the first time blood has rushed to her face, and you'd argue that she looks dangerously magnificent like this; face sneering but eyes unable to maintain eye contact with you. 

She spared you only a short pointed glare, before closing the door to your face. You can hear her voice ring moments later, "Stop pestering me on my writing time or I will take you up on that offer. If you decide to omit my warning, make sure you say something adequate, as I will personally make sure it will be written on your gravestone as your last words."  

Her threats have never felt so empty, not with her obviously shaky voice—not when you know she's staring at her typing paper blankly right now, unable to type a single word as you can't hear any clacking sound of the machine's keys. 

The gears in your mind turn at an insane speed, and with the bravado only you possess, you belt your next words for the whole dormitory to hear,  

"I AM CRAZY FOR YOU, WEDNESDAY ADDAMS!" 

There was only silence. Then, you hear the rapid clickety-clack of your girlfriend's shoes, and you jump backward when Wednesday yanked the door open. 

This is it, you thought.  

You had been too cocky, thinking that you could get away with harassing the raven-haired girl—if compliments can be considered harassment, that is—and now you're going to pay the price. In the most gruesome way imaginable, if you know anything about your girlfriend. 

Wednesday storms at you, and before you can even try to escape, you feel her arms wrapped strongly around your figure in a death grip. She's about to tackle you to death, and you brace yourself for the upcoming impact- 

-that never comes? Her arms just stay there, her head buried against your chest, and you are at a loss for words. 

It's unfair, how easily she makes you feel flustered. You've been trying to get a reaction out of her all this time, and she barely cracks. But now as she hugs you, you practically melt into her embrace; your mischievous agenda is long forgotten. 

When you regain your senses, you take a breath— about to comment on the situation before she cuts you off with a; 

"Shut up. I hate you."  

You smirk at her words before sighing in contentment, eyes closing as you soak in the rare moment, "I love you too." 

"But I will never shut up about this- OW-" 

Wednesday left you rolling on the floor in pain after landing a punch in your guts. 

"Now, you will."

[silantryoo]

XTRA [ RP STONT ] —  happy new year, unnie

miny/n spend their first christmas together (with everyone else, of course)

WARNINGS ; fluff, crack, yujin being annoying, everyone is taken basically (except for chaewon)

y/n wasn't attached to her phone.

there was once a time where she was, almost a year ago. she remembered those late nights, scrolling through each one of her burner accounts, watching as the snow fell against her chilled window. each word, each article seemed to invade her mind, and it felt like the world had given her the worst gift of all.

she hated herself back then, almost as much as she loved kim minji now.

"i don't understand why we have to host it in our dorms." y/n could hear kazuha complain, groaning as chaewon ushered them to clean faster.

y/n didn't mind, in all honesty. cleaning reminded her of minji, and how the girl would reprimand the youngest newjeans member to pick up after herself.

her girlfriend was so cute.

"you'd rather sneak yujin in?" yunjin raised an eyebrow, teasingly.

chaewon stopped in her tracks, letting her duster hang to the side. "you sneak yujin in?"

a chill ran down y/n's spine. if she found out kazuha had been sneaking yujin in from time to time, there was a greater chance that she would figure out she and minji were doing the same.

"no."

y/n could see kazuha glaring at the american in the golden retriever onesie. the kim already knew what was going through her best friends mind, the ballerina trying to recall any wrongdoing that yunjin had done.

nakamura kazuha was scary, exactly ahn yujin's type (though she'd never admit it).

"um," y/n cleared her throat. she was glad her leader had a short attention span. "when are they coming again?"

"yujin should be here soon." chaewon went back to dusting, the cheetah print of her onesie moving along with each sweep. "hanni just texted yunjin that their on their way. kkura-unnie's somewhere getting something with chaeyeon."

"i bet they ditched us."

y/n held back a sigh. it's not that she didn't want to hang out with her members, but she'd prefer if she hung out with her girlfriend one on one.

y/n missed her girlfriend.

"probably not." chaewon shook her head. "kkura-unnie said she's bringing a surprise for me, whatever that means."

the three younger girls look at each other.

sakura and chaeyeon were actually doing it. they were doing the plan.

"is she talking about-"

kazuha nodded. "i already helped yunjin-unnie to hang it."

yunjin gave a thumbs up, her body basically vibrating at the thought of her leader finally growing brain cells. she hoped sakura's plan worked this time around. if not, then perhaps chaewon was meant to be single for the rest of her life.

"hang what?"

the three looked at each other once more. they looked at chaewon.

she was so gonna kill all of them if she found out.

"what?"

on cue, the doorbell rang, the monitor lighting up to alert the girls of the presence of a human. a part of y/n wondered who conveniently appeared at that very second, but she knew it could only be one person.

y/n walked to the monitor, looking at an eye that seemed to be centimeters away from the camera. if she didn't know any better, she would've chalked it up to a twelve year old playing with their doorbell camera, but y/n knew that playful glint in the 'stranger's' eye, all of daejeon did.

she looked at kazuha, waiting for the taller girl to react.

kazuha, like always, giggled, a blush dusting her cheeks.

there it was.

pressing down on the button, kazuha spoke into the mic, her voice echoing her smile. "yujin!"

"hi." yujin smiled into the camera, stepping away. "you look pretty."

y/n rolled her eyes. the two always flirted so shamelessly in front of her. if kazuha wasn't so happy and yujin wasn't one of her best friends, she would've thrown up.

the kim spoke into the mic this time, watching as yujin smiled at the thought of her girlfriend.

"you can't see her through the camera."

the idol shrugged, "i don't need to. i already know she's gonna be pretty."

kazuha giggled once more, earning chaewon's attention who sighed at the interaction. she never understood how someone could act like that with another person.

"gross." y/n frowned. at times like these, she wished minji was near. "ka-chan'll open the door for you."

"okay."

although the door was was a mere meter away, kazuha still rushed as if her life depended on it. she hadn't seen yujin in a while (three days ago, to be exact), and she was sure she was losing her mind.

on the other side of the door, the idol could hear the door unlock at lightning speed. yujin's smile widened. the thought of seeing her girlfriend was making her impatient, her leg tapping against the pavement.

the door swung open, but before the cold breeze of winter could burst through, yujin launched herself onto kazuha, lifting her up with a strength that could only be from the adrenaline she felt.

y/n sighed, closing the door behind them. she watched as the two exchanged pleasantries, ignoring the kim that was standing behind them.

"hi, i'm here too." y/n raised an eyebrow at the couple. "i'm your best friend. am i just a block?"

"zuha's my girlfriend, though." yujin peaked around the corner, checking for the le sserafim leader before she planted a kiss on kazuha's cheek. "she's also your best friend."

y/n covered her eyes as kazuha wrapped her arms around yujin's neck.

"you're so sweet."

y/n wished minji was here.

the door opened once more, the maknae of le sserafim staring at y/n. the younger girl's cheeks were rosy, her eyes shifting around. y/n could tell she was hiding someone behind her.

it couldn't have been kim minju, sakura and chaeyeon were still on their way.

slowly, a familiar face peaked out from eunchae's shoulder, her cat-like eyes meeting the kim's. she could hear kazuha gasp behind her, yujin snickering.

chaewon was gonna kill someone tonight.

"you're kidding."

"stop leaving the door open!" y/n could hear chaewon's voice coming closer to the door, and there was no doubt she'd see kyujin's bright red cat onesie as soon as she saw what was happening. "the hot air is leavi-"

chaewon dropped the duster, a small clatter echoing the entry.

yujin bit her tongue once more.

"so, um... surprise! kyujin is spending her christmas with us!" eunchae grabbed her girlfriend's arm, shoving y/n out of the way as the two entered the house. quickly, the youngest engulfed chaewon in a hug. "thank you so much, i love you, you're the best unnie ever."

chaewon blinked.

"hold on-"

"you're the best, unnie!" eunchae signaled for kyujin to hurry, the idol rushing inside and bowing politely to all those she passed (yunjin stood in shock).

eunchae let go, chaewon's mind still reeling at the fact kyujin was most likely gonna stay in the dorms, overnight.

"yah!" eunchae scurried of at the sound of the leader's voice. "hong eunchae!"

y/n sighed once more, tapping the back of her phone as she closed the door. she watched as yujin entered the living room, arm wrapped around kazuha's waist. off to her left, kyujin and eunchae sat on the sofa, chaewon eyeing them, holding back her tongue.

the kim glanced at her phone, waiting for minji to text or to call, just wanting to know where her girlfriend was and if she was close.

"i miss my girlfriend." y/n spoke to no one, head hung low as the hood of her onesie covered her face.

yunjin, being in ear shot, patted the younger girl's back, watching as she sulked like a puppy. "she's on her way, y/n-ah."

y/n whined, and it took everything in yunjin to not tease the younger girl.

"i miss her now."

her and yujin were more alike than she'd like to admit.

yunjin rubbed her back, trying her best to reassure y/n.

"she's on her wa-"

"i miss her." she whined once more, hating the feeling of not having her girlfriend around her.

yunjin shook her head. she was glad that she had more security to not act like this, even if she did miss her girlfriend back in america. minji, who was at most five minutes away, was here in seoul, and y/n was getting more and more impatient by the minute.

it was cute, honestly, but yunjin now had to babysit a sad kim y/n and an angry kim chaewon while keeping an eye on kazuha and yujin.

she didn't understand how sakura did it, or how eunchae seemed the most responsible out of the four of them.

"unnie, where's minji?"

"she's on her way."

"i want my girlfriend now."

yunjin could only hope for minji's quick arrival.

chaewon was going insane.

it wasn't because eunchae had dragged her girlfriend to the christmas gathering. in all honesty, she actually liked kyujin. the youngest member of nmixx was responsible, her thoughts seemingly organized, the perfect contrast to their eunchae. chaewon just liked putting up a front, so kyujin knew there were consequences if she broke their maknae's heart.

truthfully, kazuha and yujin were more of an issue. chaewon knew how yujin's mind worked, the ive leader was much like her. she liked having kazuha around, and urging her girlfriend to wreak havoc onto her, sakura and y/n (mostly her, though). chaewon could handle that, even if the glint that formed in kazuha's eyes scared her.

minji was no problem either. she was sweet, and thoughtful, always stopping by to say hello to her whenever they encountered each other in the corridors between breaks. she was a breath of fresh air for y/n, and, although chaewon would be outwardly livid, she wouldn't mind minji marrying y/n.

she could handle all of that usually, but this christmas had a glaring problem.

kim minju.

why did minju have to be so pretty?

the doorbell rang repeatedly, echoing throughout the house as each alert was cut off by the next. y/n, not bothering to check since only one person (read: haerin) did that, nearly ran to the door, opening it to face the newjeans girls in their respective onesies.

minji smiled sheepishly, her cheeks rosy from the cold of the december night. if y/n wasn't so upset, she would've kissed her right there.

the le sserafim member ushered the girl group in, closing the door behind her, ignoring minji's longing stare.

usually, y/n would jump into her arms, and minji would basically ascend at the feeling of being so close to her girlfriend. minji, like always, would cherish the feeling, like she cherished kim y/n's entire exsistance.

now, there was nothing but a frown.

"you took long." minji looked down, gripping onto the gift in her hand. "were you busy looking at other girls?"

the newjeans' leader's eyes widened, shaking her head. she'd be crazy to think of anyone but her girlfriend. come to think of it, minji hasn't thought of any other person like that since she liked y/n, not even her celebrity crush.

minji liked her kim more, anyway.

"minji?" hanni snickered. minji ran around the house like a lunatic for an hour or two. "she was late because-"

"shut up!" minji covered hanni's face, shoving her away lightly. even if they had been dating for a while now, the young idol still felt nervous. it was their first christmas together, after all.

y/n raised her eyebrow, scanning the other girls' faces.

hyein, like always, looked back at the kim, her eyes gleaming with excitement. y/n wondered if hyein had grown, or if y/n had merely shrunk. still, she knew that hyein would never rat out their leader. danielle was smiling at her, obviously trying to hold her tongue. her cheeks twitched from how hard she was smiling, looking between y/n and her girlfriend. y/n knew she wouldn't rat her out either.

and then, there was haerin.

"oh." haerin started. her face was void of emotion, but her eyes seemed to tease her leader. "minji-unnie couldn't find her perfume since hyein used it last. she said she needed to smell good for you."

minji glared at the girl. she knew that haerin would tell y/n, but the last part wasn't necessary.

it didn't matter, because minji could hear her girlfriend giggling beside her.

she looked over, letting go of hanni as y/n engulfed her in a hug. minji could feel herself smiling involuntarily, and a part of her still couldn't fathom how happy she always got around her girlfriend.

she looked down, her eyes meeting y/n's. minji's eyes fluttered closed, feeling y/n kiss her cheek.

"you're so cute, kim minji."

minji's face lit up, her heart beating loudly against her chest. the young idol, although seemingly shy when it came to affection, loved it every time.

still, she had some common sense, and considering she was at the le sserafim dorms, where chaewon constantly kept an eye on them...

"unnie!"

minji was scared of her girlfriend's leader, and she didn't understand how y/n wasn't.

as if chaewon had sensed something was wrong, she came over, looking between y/n and minji with suspiciously. she didn't understand how someone so short could hold so much authority with a single stare.

"no kissing in front of children." chaewon pointed a finger at minji, and the taller girl bowed slightly, muttering sorry's.

y/n rolled her eyes.

minji straightened back up, noticing there was another, more familiar looking girl to chaewon's left. hanni gasped at the sight, gripping onto danielle who hit her shoulder repeatedly.

"let them live, unnie." the mystery woman's voice seemed to calm down chaewon, and minji could feel the air finally enter her lungs once more.

"o-okay..."

y/n bit the side of her cheek. her leader was no better than her. in fact, chaewon was worse, cheeks bright red as she stared back into the other girl's eyes.

y/n felt minji lean over to her, her breath tickling her ear as they all entered the living room.

"is that the girl you told me about?"

y/n had told her on one of their many 7-eleven runs that chaewon was worse than the both of them combined when it came to a certain someone. minji never believed her, chaewon seemingly against anything that was romantic in some shape or form.

("she's just bitter because she can't pull.")

"minju-unnie?" y/n could see her leader's hand twitching, fighting off the urge to grab the actresses hand. she couldn't help but shake her head. "yeah."

minji believed her now.

"oh." minji put her present down next to the tree. she went over to chaewon, placing a hand on her shoulder. "good luck, sunbaenim."

"what?"

the le sserafim girls (minus chaewon) burst out laughing.

"stop laughing!" chaewon whined as minji scurried back to her girlfriend. "i don't get it!"

kyujin wondered if she was going to die today.

she had her fair share of playing against some of the most competitive players she's ever met. haewon always made them play just dance together (even though kyujin had won every time they played). she was used to the screaming and shouting, but this was different.

jang kyujin feared for her life.

"you're a cheater!" chaewon had a stack of uno cards in her hands, pointing violently at the girl who tried to hide behind her maknae. "eunchae, your girlfriend is a cheater!"

eunchae couldn't help but laugh.

"you just suck at this, unnie."

chaeyeon shook her head. no matter how different chaewon looked on the outside, her habits never seemed to change.

"how did you manage to get an entire deck in one round?"

"shut it!" the leader whined, groaning as she leaned into a now flustered minju. "i was actually trying this time..."

as the shouting continued, sakura could only watch as they continued to fight. the members of newjeans (and yujin and minju) watched silently, obviously overwhelmed with the amount of accusations in the air.

("it's your fault you're bad." "you're not even playing!" "this is why you're single." "do you know how to play, unnie?" "don't insult me, jennifer.")

"are they always like this?" chaeyeon whispered into her girlfriend's ear, sakura sighing.

"you should see how bad it gets when its just us."

"ugh." chaewon could only take so much berating, finally letting kyujin off the hook and 'allowing' her to win. "fine, whatever. minji, go ahead."

minji nodded, looking around as chaewon, yujin, and yunjin stared at the cards in her hands.

"go minji-unnie!" hyein cheered suddenly, distracting everyone. "our official goddess visual."

minji shook her head. "seriously, hyein?"

hyein shrugged, and continued to cheer her member on. everyone knew that it was either her or yujin that was gonna win, both girls having four cards left versus yunjin and chaewon who had 10+ cards each.

"my votes on yujin." chaeyeon smiled at her former member.

she already knew minji was going to win, but it never hurt anyone to support the losing side.

"thanks, unnie." yujin beamed, her eyes shifting to kazuha. "i've got you on my side, right, babe?"

"well..." kazuha smiled innocently, yujin's face dropping. the ballerina began to scoot over to yunjin. "yunjin-unnie has no one cheering her on."

"babe," yunjin's eyes gleamed in excitement while yujin whined, saying that she 'needed her girl' to win. "please?"

"sorry." kazuha kissed her cheek, earning a gasp from chaewon (she chose to ignore the older girl's words. minju would calm her down eventually). "if it makes you feel better, y/n's doing it, too."

minji looked beside her, trying to reach y/n before she sat beside yunjin.

y/n was her girlfriend. minji wanted her girlfriend to cheer for her, and she wanted to win for her (and hyein too, she guessed).

"unnie?"

y/n looked over to her girlfriend, finding the young idol pouting lightly. minji, like always, looked adorable, her cheeks slightly red from how badly she wanted to win, and her eyes begging the older girl to sit next to her.

"don't look at me like that." y/n muttered, fighting back the urge to kiss her girlfriend. "you know yunjin-unnie's gonna cry later if she doesn't have anyone cheering for her."

"i will not!"

she was.

y/n smiled, grabbing minji's hand and squeezing it lightly. "next game, okay?"

minji nodded. "okay."

the game continued, kazuha and y/n helping yunjin with every chance they had. every so often, y/n would shoot minji a soft smile, and it was enough for minji to know that her girlfriend was cheering her on.

god, minji loved y/n so much.

"i wanna be like them." danielle sighed, resting her head on the cat-like girl's shoulder beside her.

haerin tensed up, hyein too busy to notice it this time around. hanni, however, wasn't.

"that's your cue, haerin." she leaned over, shoving the girl lightly as danielle continued to watch the game unfold.

haerin glared, staring into hanni's soul as if she was trying to suck it out with her eyes.

"damn, what's with the eyes, girl?"

"this is stupid!"

chaewon whined, watching as she finished last. sakura laughed into her cup, her smile reaching her eyes as she stared into chaewon. chaeyeon shook her head, knowing her girlfriend was only angering the girl.

"you really suck at this, chaewon-ah." sakura teased, earning a laugh from yujin.

"shut up!" chaewon growled, calming down as she felt minju's hand rubbing her forearm. "i... i forgot the controls."

y/n shook her head, glancing at the rest of her members. she looked at the screen, watching the score board as she sat comfortably in third place, right behind a bot in second and sakura in first.

the idol leaned back into minji, feeling her girlfriend wrap her arms around her waist as y/n continued to sit comfortably on her lap.

"i'm doing good, right?"

minji nodded, kissing y/n's shoulder. she hadn't been paying attention, in all honesty. her, yujin and kyujin had been talking about something unimportant while the others played mario kart on sakura's switch. hyein and haerin were off watching kazuha's newly bought goldfish swim around in the kitchen, while danielle and yunjin were gossiping about their love life's.

minji felt at peace, knowing that her girlfriend was near her.

the young idol kissed y/n's cheek once more, earning a groan from hanni.

"stop making me feel single, bro." hanni muttered, rolling her eyes.

"that's on you, bro."

hanni stuck her tongue out, frowning as the next course started. it wasn't her fault she had a crush on her childhood best friend (but it was her fault for not saying anything to him).

"minji." yujin called out, her eyes laced in curiosity. "do you call y/n bro?"

minji shook her head. "no."

minji looked at the girl sitting on her lap, laser focused on beating hanni, chaewon, sakura and eunchae. minji had called y/n bro before they had started dating, but it never crossed her mind now that they have. perhaps her girlfriend would prefer it over 'unnie' or 'baby'.

"do you want me to call you bro, unnie?" minji asked.

y/n tensed up, glancing behind her as she mashed on the buttons harder.

("yah, kim y/n! don't break my controller!")

y/n hummed, clenching her jaw. the thought of minji calling her that upset her. she wasn't a 'bro'.

"do you want me to break up with you?" y/n asked sweetly, watching as she got passed by hanni. she cursed under her breath, exhaling out of her nose.

minji's eyes widened.

"no."

"then no." y/n muttered, listening to chaewon cry out in frustration as she overtook her.

minji nodded, ignoring the snickering that came from hanni beside her. hanni couldn't care less about the fight that almost broke out at that moment, not when she was currently in first place.

yujin, watching everything play down, turned to kazuha with a sweet smile.

"babe," the ive leader loved looking at her girlfriend. "can i call you-"

"finish that question and i'll break up with you."

hanni snickered once more.

"oh."

chaewon liked to think that she knew minju like the back of her hand.

she knew the younger girl's favourite snacks, the way she liked her ramen cooked, how her eggs were boiled. chaewon knew minju's favorite colors to wear, and what brand of shoes were her go-to.

there was no way chaewon would lose this game this time, not when she knew everything about the love of her life.

"my turn." minju sat herself down comfortably between sakura and chaewon. the actress could feel everyone staring at her, waiting.

part of her wondered how dense chaewon truly was. she adored it most times, like she adored chaewon, but at times like this, she hoped that chaewon could see past her words. she hoped chaewon could see what she really meant and how she really felt.

minju cleared her throat, smiling nervously as she avoided chaewon's fiery gaze. "i have a crush on someone in this room, i've met the head of samsung before, and i've been offered to model overseas."

"definitely the first." chaewon said almost immediately. she would know if minju liked anyone. she would be crushed, but she would know.

the leader looked around, watching as everyone, even the younger girls, looked at her curiously. she didn't understand their stares, but at least chaewon knew that they would all lose. there was no way minju would like anyone without chaewon knowing.

the others nodded in agreement, muttering to themselves as the le sserafim leader watched from a distance.

"minju-unnie," eunchae started, her hand held tightly by kyujin. "it's samsung, right?"

minju could feel herself blush. it had been mere seconds before most of the girls had come to their conclusions. she had never been a good liar, chaewon had told her so.

"was it that obvious?" minju scratched her cheek.

chaewon paused.

"you like someone?" suddenly, the air felt like it was on fire, chaewon's lungs burning with every breath she took.

minju liked someone, someone that wasn't her. the girl that she had loved since they had first met didn't feel the same. kim minju didn't feel the same because she liked someone else.

chaewon wished she was someone else, whoever that was.

"you're blind, unnie." y/n shook her head, resting her cheek against minji's shoulder.

yujin raised an eyebrow. "you're one to talk."

y/n looked at yujin with a blank look. she knew all the ins and outs of the ive leader, the taller girl telling her everything that happened during her promotions, including things that kazuha didn't know about.

y/n smiled.

"ka-chan," y/n called out for her best friend. "did you know that yujin recently got asked out by-"

"no one!" yujin couldn't let kazuha find out, not when she knew how it would affect her. "no one. my eyes are only on you and for you, anyway."

kazuha looked at yujin, her eyes scanning her girlfriend up and down.

"okay." kazuha hummed, watching as yujin sighed in relief. "we'll talk about that later."

yujin pouted, trying her best to grab kazuha's hand and reassure her that nothing happened. perhaps ning yizhou had asked her out the week before, ambushing the taller girl as she tried her hardest to memorize her lines for sbs, but yujin immediately said no.

still, kazuha didn't care. at least not right now.

yujin shot minji a look, begging her to reason with her girlfriend just this once.

minji frowned. "unnie."

"she was being mean to me." y/n reasoned.

minji didn't budge, gesturing at kazuha who was now ignoring yujin. she watched as the taller girl tried to get her members attention, but to no avail.

sighing, y/n nodded.

"sorry, yujin." y/n frowned. "yujin reject her, anyway."

kazuha's lips twitched into a smile.

"really?"

yujin nodded as y/n buried herself into minji's arms.

yujin and kazuha were gross (but y/n knew that she and minji weren't any better).

y/n watched as her leader followed kim minju around, tailing her like a puppy following it's owner.

beside her, minji shook her head, part of her cringing at the thought that she was (and still is) exactly like chaewon. she knew how it felt like, to feel like the girl that you were so in love with didn't love you back.

all minji could remember was how awful she had felt back then, when she stupidly thought that y/n had felt something for yujin.

she hoped that chaewon was smarter than her, that she could avoid the stress and heartbreak she felt at that moment.

minji sighed, grabbing her girlfriend's hand. "do you think she's ever gonna figure it out?"

y/n could only shrug, chaewon was as dense as her, if not worse. there was a chance that le sserafim's leader would only figure it out once it was too late.

the kim looked at sakura and chaeyeon, the two eyeing minju and chaewon closely.

there was no way they were going to let that happened.

"maybe later when kkura-unnie and chaeyeon-unnie force them under the mistletoe."

"someone should do that with haerin and dani." hanni hummed, nursing a red solo cup that held nothing but fruit punch. she rested her head on hyein. hanni didn't need to look, she already knew the contents stirring inside the younger girl's brain.

"not you, weirdo."

"why?" hyein whined. "i've behaved all night."

minji glared, pulling y/n into her arms. "you wouldn't let go of my girlfriend."

to minji, it was the truth. all night, she had to watch her girlfriend near hyein, hogging her girlfriend and holding her close, all the thing's that minji should've been doing.

in reality, it had only been one instance where hyein had done that, and it was when the two had been paired up (and won against yunjin and kyujin) in the whisper game.

"she's mine."

hyein shook her head. minji shouldn't have taken that drink from yujin. now, she was slightly tipsy, acting territorial.

minji felt a light nudge on her shoulder, turning her head to come face to face with y/n.

"baby, it's your turn." y/n whispered. minji nodded, taking the controller and arguing with kyujin over who was going to play kirby this time.

y/n turned to hyein, an apologetic smile on her face.

"don't worry about her too much, hyein-ah."

"i won't." hyein sighed, opening her phone as she started typing away. "i'll keep this in mind for the toast though."

"what toast?" y/n tilted her head.

"when you guys get married?"

y/n felt herself flush, her face turning bright red.

"what?"

"what?"

as if nothing happened, hyein went back to texting on her phone. she ignored the curious stare from y/n, wondering what hyein meant with the toast.

hyein was always weird, but y/n couldn't help but feel giddy at the thought of minji proposing to her.

y/n squinted at the lamp sitting on her desk, illuminating the room with its bright light.

the others had all been asleep in the living room, two queen sized, inflatable mattresses taking up the entire space. it was suffocating, in all honesty. no matter how hard y/n tried to sleep (or how close she tried to get to minji), it was nearly impossible.

she needed to get out of there.

"chaewon-sunbaenim said i'm not allowed in your room." minji hesitated, feeling her girlfriend tug her inside.

"it's my room." y/n whispered back, closing the door behind her as minji looked around. the dim light made her face glow in the dark, like an angel that had descended from heaven. "it's not like you haven't been in here before."

minji nodded, ignoring the gnawing fact that she had only been inside when chaewon was out.

"did you have fun?" y/n asked. "i know unnie can be a bit over protective but-"

"i did." minji smiled.

it didn't matter if she was in the middle of nowhere. as long as minji stood next to y/n, the young idol would always enjoy her time.

kim y/n was her joy, and that would never change.

"good." y/n sighed in relief. "i'm glad."

minji's eyes gleamed in the dim light of the lamp shade, her irises trained on the girl in front of her. she felt herself scratching the side of her thumb, peeling off the skin. all minji's emotions seemed to bubble up in her chest.

this was it.

"it's been a year." minji had rehearsed this, just like she had rehearsed everything.

"yeah." y/n nodded, watching minji squirm in her bear onesie. "it went by so fast."

minji had snuck the present in here somewhere. she had hid it amidst the ruckus that was the second round of uno (kazuha, y/n, chaeyeon, minju and haerin). she could see it from where she was standing, the bag sitting on her girlfriend's desk.

minji kissed her, tasting the same vanilla lipgloss that the older girl had always worn, the one that shimmered against the light as they laid on her bed.

this was it. minji couldn't mess up now.

"i love you so much." but this wasn't part of what she practiced. she wasn't supposed to be overwhelmed like this. minji didn't understand why she always felt a surge of emotions, of love next to the older girl.

it terrified her, but somehow, she was okay with it.

"why are you crying?" y/n asked, minji relishing the touch of the older girl's fingertips as she wiped her tears away.

"i don't know." minji muttered, smiling slightly as y/n captured her lips once more. the young idol sighed. "sometimes, i feel horrible for the way i treated you."

y/n shook her head, "i treated you worse."

looking down, minji remembered all the times that y/n had ignored her. she remembered all the times that the older girl had sneered, rolling her eyes and ignoring the girl.

but minji had also remembered everything else, like how y/n looked at her that day, when min heejin had berated the older girl.

she was nothing like minji, and although minji loved that about her, it had broke y/n that day.

minji had no excuse, and she knew that from the beginning.

"still." the young idol shook her head, looking down at her feet. she didn't know if it was the singular shot that yujin had made her take or the guilt, but minji felt it in her soul. "yours was valid, but i had nothing to go on. i just hated you to hate you."

she loved y/n more than she had hated her, and now, the thought of hating the love of her life gnawed her down, especially as the rings sat on her girlfriend's desk.

"even if you did, that doesn't matter anymore." y/n said, kissing minji's forehead. "right now, you love me, and i love you. i forgive you, kim minji. i always will."

all that ever mattered to minji was y/n.

y/n's eyes looked into her own, her irises shining, swirling in happiness and love. minji didn't understand how one person could make her so happy, just like y/n didn't understand how one person could make her feel like she was capable of doing something right.

this was it.

the younger girl nodded, grabbing bag on the table. she handed the bag to y/n, praying that her hands didn't tremble.

"i, um," minji could see the velvet boxes as she looked down. "i got you something."

"what?" y/n frowned. "minji, i thought we agreed that we were only going to get one present. you said-"

"i lied."

y/n wanted to refuse. minji had always treated her too kindly, giving her gifts left and right, as if she had all the money in the world. although the older idol never felt indebted to her, she wished minji had thought about herself more.

but the older girl couldn't disappoint minji.

slowly, she opened the bag, reaching for the piece of paper, folded neatly with a heart sticker holding it closed.

y/n couldn't help but smile.

minji and her stickers.

the kim opened the letter, her heart beating out of her chest. she wondered if the girls outside could hear it from where she stood, or if minji, standing in all her beauty, could hear it too.

y/n shook her head, taking a deep breath as she began to read.

unnie, i'm not good with words, but i don't know how else to express this. i love you so much. whether you're a kim or not, whether you're mine or not, i'll always try my hardest to make you smile. i hope you carry this ring and know that it's a piece of me. i hope that when you look at it, you'll be reminded of all my love, and not who i was before. i promise to love you for as long as i can. - kim minji.

y/n could feel the air escaping from her lungs.

she glanced at minji, grabbing a singular box with her initials engraved on it. she opened it, the gold shining into her eyes.

it was simple, just how she liked it, but it was intricate enough to be special.

y/n loved it, just how she loved minji.

"are these...?"

promise rings. y/n didn't have to finish her sentence for minji to understand.

"yes." minji whispered, her voice slightly shaking. "they are."

y/n threw her arms around her girlfriend, tears streaming down her face as she felt the younger girl pull her impossibly closer.

"i love you." y/n had never felt it more in that moment.

"i love you too." minji smiled.

y/n pulled back, watching as minji grabbed the box in her hand, taking the ring and placing it onto the older girl's hand.

"i promise to always love you."

minji had never lied to y/n in her life, and she wasn't going to start now.

"i promise to always love you too."

y/n wasn't honest from the start, but she knew this time it was different. y/n could feel it in her heart.

minji leaned in this time, feeling the comfort that was her girlfriend. her mouth placed briefly but firmly against the older girl's brought her nothing but happiness.

this was it.

minji didn't mess up.

"happy new year, unnie." minji muttered against her mouth. "thank you for smiling at me."

"happy new year." y/n smiled, placing another soft kiss on minji's lips. "thank you for being the reason for my smile."

masterlist

taglist (CLOSED)!!

@fav9yu @gojosrug @lizseos @captivq @invusblog @writingficsblog @wonyoluvr @limbforalimb @lethalvenus @archerheejin @bibrinastan @ahnneyong @theeyoon @phamminji @chaersly @misumiausworld @afiaaaa19 @yumtooki @oshyci @txtbrainrot @falling-intoo-deep @0310lvr @yizhoutv @rinpopz @serenitygrace24 @noiacha @marimo-anura @sserajeans @cfvgbhndun-new-blog @rd0265667 @li0ilthecxnt @dmndtears @rosiehrs @yeridaenggi @spritin @cecedrake2217 @meltingbluess @jeonsy98 @haerinstolemyhrt @ssambf @awkwardtoafault @babycubchae @perfectsunlight @forever-in-the-sky2

[honeekyuu]

squeeze. [sakusa kiyoomi x reader] brews abridged intros.

aone's body count

masterlist.

[playlist]. brews abridged || vibes

a/n. i come here today to convince molly that aone is a pleasant lovely wonderful glorious perfect beautiful incredible precious lovable-[GUNSHOTS]

warnings: platonic soulmates hinatayn

✗ !!! minors do not interact !!! ✗

✗ !!! ignore timestamps !!! ✗

brews abridged is a 3-in-1 coffee shop-bookstore-wine bar (ive been to one of these before, theyre kinda crazy). theyve been in business for five years

hinata always wanted to run a bookstore and yachi always wanted to run a cafe, and yn said why the fuck not both??? and aone just nodded and joined in for the vibes

none of them know a single fucking thing about wine or running a wine bar, but it is somehow their most popular feature

they leave aone in charge of it and he just pours a glass of the nearest thing when customers approach the bar. people dont ask him for recommendations because it is so painfully clear he wont answer. it works for some reason, the masses love him.

otherwise, aone can most often be found lingering in hinata's general vicinity and pointing aggressively at shelves when people ask him for book recs

hinata's favorite pastime is starting arguments with aone because it is literally just him getting riled up and aone staring down at him and making faces

yachi is their token flower pretty baby girl -- she just smiles and speaks in butterflies and rainbows and every regular is in love with her

she upcharges them for their lattes when theyre not looking. she's never been caught

she is also responsible for aone's twt header. he had no opinions on the matter

the brews abridged crew are also roommates

they have a running tally called “days since aone’s spoken” hanging in the kitchen, because he texts in exclusively emojis 90% of the time

yn and hinata are childhood best friends, and they met yachi in high school. yn met aone in a bookstore and realized over the course of a few weeks that they were both regulars. she decided he was the most precious man to ever walk the earth and promptly adopted him. to this day, he has no idea what the hell that was about

aone’s music taste is JUST the brews abridged playlist. He only listens to the brews abridged playlist. this is why he doesnt have a spotify profile lol -- he doesnt add to their collaborative shop playlist at ALL, he just consumes and bops his little head

yn has a spine tattoo of a snake, and only her roommates know this. hinata has the same tattoo on his sternum.

hinatayn are platonic soulmates, they share a single brain cell and often make freaky telepathic eye contact across rooms

they flipped a coin for who had to get the sternum tattoo because it’s simply that painful and neither of them wanted it but they had already committed to the soulmate tattoos

let’s not talk ab the fact that they flipped a fucking coin to decide tattoo placements

hinata named their group chat. aone doesnt understand. he's never slept with any of them? why are they his body count?

taglist = [open]

@mollyrolls @nectardaddy @onlytendoguesses @scinclaitnoir @marsoverthestars

@bookskeepers @choerry-picking @siheez @introvertsince2003 @eggyrocks

@atrashsith @beckixwsm @kakeru-eem @atsumusc0ck @seroh

@reignsaway @a-little-pebbl @bakingcuriosity @dondoncool @corvid007

@asthmaticcchoeee @liliumaraneae @savemebrazilhinata @whydoyoucare866 

she put my hand up on her throat and told me // squeeze that shiiii-

squeeze [ghostemane].

[bunniwords]

˚ ‧₊ DANCING IN THE FLAMES ╱ c.yj

chapter 003 — masterlist — chapter 005 004. same brain cell

synopsis: your friends drag you to one of the biggest halloween parties known on campus and you never imagined yourself meeting someone there who’d be matching costumes with you. bunni speaks: its my first (partial) written chapter for this series! also so sorry this took so long. my wifi was wonky and ate my drafts… i had to rewrite this chapter… BUT nonetheless i seriously cant wait for party 🗣️

more under the cut!

after class on thursday, you waited for the rest of group to show up for the meeting. if you could go back in time to choose another major, you would because no one told you how many group projects you had to do or the amount of work you had to cover for you to get a good grade.

your studious reputation didn’t help you make things easier. every time a group project calls for a team leader? all eyes were on you. you were expected to lead and pick up slack.

so, here you are.

waiting for thirty minutes for not even a single soul to show up and everyone leaving the chat on read. when you were beginning to gather your things, yeonjun tossed his bag in an open seat.

“my professor asked me to stay behind after class. where’s everyone else?” he asked.

“not sure,” you mumbled.

yeonjun stared at you as you pulled out your laptop from your bag and some sheets of paper. you weren’t doing much, but you could tell that he was already annoyed with you.

“so, i was thinking that you could start off the presentation,” you started off, but he had already stopped you.

“me? is it because i’m the first one here?”

“no… because i think you’d be a good fit for it,” you explained, “i’ve seen how you presented before and you’re good at public speaking.”

you could see the shock on his face. probably because he wasn’t expecting you to compliment him, but it was true. he was really good in front of other people and presenting was his strong suit.

yeonjun cleared his throat and nodded his head.

“okay, i’ll do it,” he said.

“alright,” you gave him a small smile. probably because it was the first time he had complied to anything you had to say. maybe flattery is the way to yeonjun’s heart?

as the two of you started working on the project, others came with some lame excuse you couldn’t bother to remember and worked on the project for the next thirty minutes or so.

“so, chaewon, you’re going to be doing the presentation with yeonjun. i’ll put the ppt together with mark. jaemin, you’ll research and cite sources for the remaining topics… then you’ll be working with me so it’ll be finalized in the paper. that sounds good?” you asked and scanned their faces.

“can’t i present with chaewon?” jaemin asked.

“yeonjun’s really good at presenting so i think it’s best if he presented for the group,” you answered.

“i’d like to present with yeonjun,” chaewon smiled.

“i’m good at presenting too,” jaemin argued.

“well, yes, you are,” you agreed, “i mean unless chaewon wanted to swap with you. that could work too.”

“what? no, i wanted to present,” chaewon pouted.

the reason why you put those two together was because you knew chaewon would work a little harder around yeonjun. you’ve seen how her eyes twinkled at him and there was no way she was going to make a fool of herself around him. yeonjun was a good student despite his strong opposition towards you and your decisions, so you knew he’d do well.

on the other hand, there was jaemin. he… well… you were pretty sure all he wants to do is flirt with chaewon.

“let’s just keep everything as is and if you really want to present jaemin, maybe yeonjun could find a part for you to present as well,” you peeked over at yeonjun, hopefully he’ll get the hint.

“i mean, i don’t mind swapping with jaemin,” he smirked.

just when you thought you could like him a little bit, he decided to pull this.

“what?” your voice lowered and eyes sharpened at him.

“yeah, why not? i’m good at research and citing sources too,” yeonjun shrugged, “remember?”

you wanted to frown. he was teasing you, maybe getting back at you for asking for his sources.

“i wouldn’t say you were good at it,” you snapped back.

“well, you agreed that jaemin was good at presenting,” he added.

“cool, then yeonjun and y/n will work on the paper together. i’ll present with chaewon,” jaemin clapped his hands together, “it’s settled. i have another class so chaewon, i’ll text you.”

you knew he was running off before you could change it all back. chaewon was already huffing and puffing but she didn’t want to say too much in front of yeonjun. though, you were sure you were going to get a text from her begging you to switch with you so she could write the paper with yeonjun later.

“fine. mark, i’ll text you later so we can meet up sometime this week,” you said.

“cool,” he nodded at you before heading out.

“aw, what about me?” yeonjun forged hurt when asking you.

“research first and text me when you’re done,” you sighed as you gathered all your things to head out.

you really did not like choi yeonjun.

[malcontentonline]

your time travel au is so cool

Using this ask as another opportunity to info dump about it thanks anon!

I've been drawing some of Gai's main students in the au recently! My boi ends up with a proto-genin team :>

All of them are considered hopeless by the Uchiha in one way or another but here are their vibes individually:

Ichigo - (9) the youngest, he’s a talentless nobody who’s only survived this long through luck alone, he is extremely bad at controlling his chakra to the point that he’s not even competent at most jutsu. He’s ok at fighting with kunai but that’s about it. His lack of skill isn’t the only reason he’s been put on Gai’s squad however, he also finds it impossible to connect with others and since the sharingan awakens through loss an orphan with no connections in the world has a low chance of ever even getting a single Tomoe. Personally wise he’s a reckless troublemaker, always up for a challenge and always happy to learn new techniques, he’s just never had a proper teacher as he’s far too much trouble for most to handle.

Yuki - (13) the oldest, he’s a quite skilled ninja, mastering multiple jutsu from different chakra natures, he would have had a bright future in the clan if it wasn’t for the fact he was born with very poor eyesight that has only gotten worse over the years, it’s unlikely he would be able to properly use a regular sharingan even if he ever manifested it so he believes his only hope is to gain a mangekyou sharingan - since its powers are based on the individual he may be able to use them with his limited vision. (Also since he’s already going blind he would not mind the cost of it) Personally wise he’s quite shy and reserved - even at times a little naive. He finds communicating with others confusing and difficult, leading him to usually try copying the vibe of the people he is around.

Awaki - (11) pretty much the brain cell of the group. She was an incredibly talented ninja, she prided herself on her nin and genjutsu abilities (she’d even invented several jutsus). That all changed when, at the age of Nine, she was in a fight and lost one of her hands. She was completely devastated - and to make a bad situation worse - she hadn’t managed to activate her sharingan like she assumed she would have. This situation led the uchiha elders to believe she may have an emotional threshold for activation that is far higher than normal people. Since she wasn’t able to weave the complex hand signs she used to be known for she was encouraged to retire, but she refused to let it stop her, she taught herself how to weave simple jutsu with one hand and now using scrolls is the main way she fights (as it allows her to prepare attacks before hand and simply unseal them when she needs them). Personally wise she’s very serious and strict with herself and others, she also absolutely hates people treating her like she can’t take care of herself. Over all though she is very good at keeping calm and level headed in stressful situations.

Here are some doodles of the squad:

[discordiansamba]

Suki and Zuko have been acting weird ever since they arrived at the Fire Lord's beach house.

(Which no matter what Zuko says, is absolutely insane and he's sticking to that.)

They keep pulling the other off to the side and discussing something in quiet whispers. Whenever someone butts in, they immediately shut up. If Sokka didn't know any better, it looks kind of like they're arguing- but that can't be right. Suki and Zuko never argue. They get along so well it's almost scary. Then one morning, they gather everyone together for a group meeting. Whatever it is, it must be serious, because they make sure they're all sitting down first.

"We have something we need to tell everyone," Zuko says.

"-its kind of important," Suki finishes.

They exchange a glance, and then they both point at themselves.

"I'm Zuko," Suki says.

"-and I'm Suki," Zuko finishes.

Toph's feet slam on the floor. Everyone else stares at them in silence. The pair exchange another awkward look, loudly stage-whispering 'what now' and 'I don't know' to each other. Toph helpfully breaks the silence and says that they're either the best actors she's ever met, or they're telling the truth.

"You're- what?" Sokka squawks.

"We swapped bodies," they both reply in unison, "-uh. We just thought we should probably tell you guys."

"What!?" Sokka sputters. "When!?"

"...back at the Boiling Rock?" Zuko who is apparently actually Suki says.

What. Sokka racks his brain, trying to figure out when it happened. He hadn't noticed a single thing! Wouldn't they have said something? Wait. Was it before or after he'd tried to kiss Suki in her cell. It had to have been after, right?

"I don't understand," Katara frowns, "-you two haven't been acting any different since you came back."

"Oh," Suki who is apparently actually Zuko frowns, "-yeah. I guess we should probably drop the act, huh?"

And then, in the blink of an eye, their posture just shifts. Suki folds her arms, taking up a stance they're more familiar with from Zuko. Zuko's entire stance grows looser and more relaxed. Sokka looks at his sister, who looks at Aang, who looks at Toph, who doesn't look at anyone because she never does and-

"Okay," Sokka says, "-now I'm really confused."

"Why were you pretending to be each other?" Aang asks. "I mean, I know we're kind of busy trying to defeat the Fire Lord, but I am the bridge between worlds. I'm pretty sure I can figure out a way to fix this."

"-and why were you so good at it?" Toph asks. "I couldn't even tell."

"Yeah, this doesn't really need fixing." Su-Zuko admits. "Suki and I just do this sometimes."

What.

He must have said that out loud, because a smile that's all Suki flashes across Zuko's face. "We've been doing it all our lives. We just never really saw a reason to bring it up before now. Sorry."

What.

Actually. Wait. Hang on.

"If you two swapped at the Boiling Rock," Sokka began, "-then when I tried to invite Suki to my tent-"

"-oh," Suki's face twists into the kind of awkward expression he'd expect to see on Zuko, "-uh. Yeah. That was me."

"Sorry," Zu-Suki presses his (her?) hands together in apology, "-Zuko and I are going to be like this awhile. We always swap bodies when we're close to each other."

"Kind of annoying, actually," Su-Zuko remarks, "-but if you two want to spend time together, don't stop on my account. Just don't expect me to reciprocate."

"Are you sure?" Zu-Suki frowns.

"Sure," Zu-Suki shrugs, "-I mean, you did help me patch things up with Mai. I didn't even ask you to do that."

Sokka lets his head hit the table. It was official. The spirits hated him. His second girlfriend had turned into Zuko.

(...and why was he considering it?)

[alessiathepirate]

Resident Evil 4: Seperate Ways

THE FLIRTING GAMES: Luis Serra x fem!reader

Summary: It sounded like an easy job - get in, grab the Amber and get out... Yet it became pretty complicated the moment she met Luis Serra.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I may have made while I wrote this short story.

Guess who's back in her RE4 obsessed era!

Warnings: swearing, mentioned death, Ada is our bestie, Leon and Wesker cameo

•••

Meeting Don Quixote

The footsteps sounded awfully loud in the room as Luis Serra danced around to a beat only he knew and no one else.

She looked at him through the thin material of the white dress Ada had put on her, before sending her off to find this Luis Serra while she kept the castle halls clean from monsters.

Serra had a handsome face, nice legs and awesome dance moves with a hint of elegance.

Ada had said that Luis was a clever researcher, who had the Amber. Well, he was good looking too and he was a good dancer with great fashion sense. That part Ada had left out of her report on Luis.

She looked aside, smiling as she appreciated what she was seeing, and hit her two 'friends' on the head with the lantern she was holding. She then kicked their burning bodies aside as she took off the white dress to finally look at the man in front of her without any distraction.

Luis looked at her, his eyes moving up and down on her body, and suddenly she was very thankful that Ada had full control over her closet.

Luis had a beautiful smile. It seemed playful and charming - and the thought that he was most definitely a ladies' man slowly occured in her brain.

"Luis Serra?" she asked as she tilted her head, letting her gaze rest on his body. "Nice moves you got there."

Luis stepped toward her with the same amount of elegance he used for his dancing, his hands were almost touching her waist. Their faces were pretty close, their eyes met, both pair having the same amount of playfulness.

"Muchas gracias, señorita." the way his lips moved while speaking Spanish stirred something inside her - something warm.

"Perhaps you'll teach me some one day."

Luis' face turned a light shade of red and she felt pride appear in her chest. She managed to make him blush.

"It'd be my pleasure." he tilted his head. "Did you bring something for me?"

"Oh." she reached inside her pocket and showed him the pack of cigarettes she was carrying around. "Ada said I should give you these."

Her fingers moved quickly as she took a single cigarette from its box and put it between Luis' lips. Before his hands could move to get his lighter, she already reached into her pocket once again. This time she had a cheap, plastic lighter in her hand and she carefully lit Luis' cigarette.

She saw something change in his eyes and her stomach was stirred again.

"Just the kind I like." said Luis, after he was holding the cigarette between his fingers.

They kept their eyes on the other as the cigarette slowly burned away -- until a gunshot could be heard from upstairs. Her whole body went rigid as she remembered why she was in the cell and who was waiting for her.

She stepped away, breaking the trance Luis' presence had put her in.

"Where's the Amber? Ada said you'd have it."

"I had it." Luis confessed. "But I had to stash it right before I got caught. I can lead you to it though."

She smiled as his flirty act broke.

"Lead the way then."

Luis stepped out of the cell and threw the cigarette aside. Then he bowed as if he'd be the perfect gentleman waiting for his lady to make the first move.

"Ladies first."

She had to surpress a grin.

"And they say chivalry is dead."

•••

A gentleman in trouble

"Are you angry?" Luis asked as he walked around awkwardly, not really finding his place when he was talking to an upset Ada Wong. "You're angry... Listen, there's this one thing I have to do before I can recover the Amber."

She was watching him from her place against a table. She watched his movements, she listened to his voice - and she had to say, he was absolutely perfect.

They were great acquaintances by then.

Luis had contacted her more times then she could count on both of her hands, and she answered his calls each and every time. It didn't matter that she had to put Wesker or Ada on hold for it. Luis was more fun, more important. He was the playfulness she had always been missing from her life.

Ada's movements seemed dangerously slow.

"Before?" she asked.

Luis didn't answer and the room turned quiet. This time around even she could feel the upcoming storm and she was standing confidently on her feet by the time Ada pointed her gun at him.

Luis seemed shocked and scared - he raised his hands as if they could protect him from Ada's gun. She felt a sense of fear run through her veins too. She didn't like Luis' situation and she didn't want him to get shot because of the stupid Amber Wesker wanted so badly.

"This isn't a negotiation, Luis. So choose your next words wisely."

She stepped between Ada's gun and Luis quickly. She could clearly see the confusion in Ada's eyes as she realized she was no longer pointing the weapon at Luis, but at her own partner.

"Whoa, Ada! There's no need for this." she argued.

"We're wasting time here. You know he doesn't like it when we're wasting our time."

"Since when do we care about what he likes?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "The only way he's getting the Amber is through Luis. And threatening him or shooting him won't make our job easier."

Ada looked her in the eyes. Their gazes met without a single blink. Then, after a few seconds, something close to understanding ran though Ada's eyes and she lowered her handgun.

She tilted her head in a silent question only they could understand - and when she nodded Ada gave her a sad look full of pity.

They were in the same boat.

"What do you need to do?" Ada asked instead of threatening to shoot Luis again.

She could feel him relax behind her. And finally she could breathe again.

"Someone needs my help."

"Leon and Ashley?" she asked as she turned around to look at him.

Luis just nodded and she could feel rather than see Ada's body freeze. She tried to push back a sad smile - oh yes, they were in the exact same fucking boat.

"They are both infected." Luis explained and she felt a small amount of sadness run through her - she always liked Leon, and Ashley Graham seemed like a nice, young girl. "And you know me-- always the good Samaritan! They need this medicine and I can make it. I know it works, because... you see, I used it-- on myself."

Her lips curled upwards.

Luis was a nice guy. Someone who wants to help and make his past mistakes right. She could understand that; she could respect that. She liked him a lot more because of that.

"Why should I care?"

She almost rolled her eyes in annoyance. Denial didn't look good on Ada Wong at all.

She cares. She has always cared - especially about Leon Kennedy.

"Because you too are infected..."

Fear was a long forgotten feeling for her, yet in that moment is overcame her like a strong wave. She looked at Ada in shock, silently begging her to say something; to deny it.

Yet Ada stayed quiet. Which meant that Luis was right. Which meant that she was slowly loosing herself.

"It's what I researched for all these years, Ada. And I see the symptoms already showing in your eyes." fueled with anger from the fact that Ada didn't tell her about her being infected, she took a close look at her eyes and Luis was right - thin, tiny, black veins were running along in Ada's eyes, making them look sick and dark. "You must already feel the effects, ey?" Luis asked as he slowly began to walk around in the room, until he stopped above a trapdoor. "The medicine will stop them for a time. Just-- trust me. You have a lot to gain and nothing to lose."

She turned to look at Ada again, who seemed to accept her fate with a cold expression.

"Ok." she said. "We do this first and then the Amber."

While Luis let Leon know that he'll give them the medicine what'll help them with the infection, she kept on looking at Ada. She looked at her calm face and stern expression.

Ada was always confident with an added elegance what made her even more pretty and desirable. But despite her confidence, someone had to worry about her well-being too. And that role was hers.

Ada Wong won't be dying in Spain anytime soon - she told herself as Luis opened the trapdoor.

Ada was the first one who jumped down the hatch, and she was about to follow her, when Luis grabbed her wrist.

She looked up at him, feeling a strange sense of shyness as his hand touched hers.

"Thank you." he said with a small, honest smile - without his usual charming grin. "For helping me."

"You have nothing to say thank you for. Especially because you're the one who'll help us."

She was about to try and jump down again, but Luis' grip on her wrist tightened.

"Why?"

She raised her eyebrows in confusion. "'Why' what?"

"Why did you help me?"

She tilted her head slightly, not daring to look him in the eye.

Why? That's a good question, isn't it? A question only Ada knows the answer to.

"I like you, Luis." she confessed as she looked him in the eye, smiling when she found endearment in them. "I want to get you out of here." her lips curled upwards as she decided to make the moment 'them'-like. "Besides... You're too handsome to let a bullet wound destroy your pretty face."

She waited until he fully understood her words and the light shade of red took control over his face. She liked to see him blush. She liked to make him blush even more.

She jumped down the hatch before Luis could have a chance to say anything charming to her. She landed on her feet and when she stood up she could see Ada standing not so far away with a patient, knowing smile on her face.

Luis landed not so far away from her. Their bodies were almost touching the other's, and this time Luis seemed to collect himself and regain his usual charm.

His right hand touched her face gently as he put a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I can't wait for you to get me out of here, so we can have that dance, guapa."

Luis waited until the pink color appeared on her cheeks, then he let go of her hair and started to play with his lighter as he began to lead the way toward his laboratory.

Ada gave her a headtilt.

"Oh, shut up!" she said with a pout, even though her face was burning.

•••

La asistente

She looked at the blue butterfly she was holding, her thumb gently stroking its wings.

So pretty, yet so fragile... Just like humanity itself. It got harder and harder to keep it together and save it from harm. Save it from people like Wesker...

If Wesker wants something, it's because the thing is powerful. Powerful enough to destroy billions of people, if not humanity itself.

Wesker wanted to be a god, that's why she disliked him so much. She never liked a man whose ego was bigger than his bookshelf. Yet Wesker was a paying customer - and in today's economy money was everything.

Then why did she feel so guilty about helping him? About giving him power so he could give her money?

Maybe-- maybe if Luis is trying to do the right thing after all those years working for Umbrella, then she could try to follow his steps too.

A quiet noise got her back to reality, and she put the butterfly away - making sure it was safe in the small black bag attached to her left thigh -, so she could answer the call. It was from Luis; and the fact itself made her smile - or rather grin like a schoolgirl.

"You rang?" she asked sweetly, enjoying the smile she could see on Luis' face.

"Just wanted to make sure my favourite asistente is doing okay."

His favourite asistente. How sweet. Perhaps taking the job offer was a good thing - thanks to that, she met Luis Serra. She'd miss him from her life if she didn't know him.

"Your asistente has just finished her task, doc." she said. "How's Ada doing?"

"She already has the red ink." answered Luis.

"One more to go then." she sighed, but moments later her wide smile was back on her face. "Do you think she can handle the last ingredient by herself? We could share a break together perhaps..."

She could see Luis smirk through the bad quality of the transmitter.

"Or perhaps we could make dinner plans, ey?" Luis stopped talking for a while, he seemed to be deep in thought. "Tell me, señorita, have you ever tried salmorejo?"

"I can't say I have."

Luis chuckled.

"Well, then you will, after we get out of here." he explained, not taking 'no' for an answer. "And then I'll take you dancing."

She felt the need to twirl her hair around her fingers like a girl - and she almost did. Almost.

But then she decided to just widen her smile instead.

"It's a plan." she agreed and she could see the happiness in Luis' eyes. "So, where should we meet up?"

After, as she put her transmitter away, she decided that she'd try. She'd try to do better. For Luis.

•••

Becoming the blue butterfly

She finished painting the red 'This way!' sign on the floor, just in time, because Luis finished scribbling his letter down to Ada as well. The man let the letter rest on the desk, hoping that Ada'll be the one who'll find it.

She put the red spray paint in her bag, then she sighed loudly.

Ada was in the trouble the last time they've seen her. The medicine Luis had given her was working slowly, therefore she seemed weak, barely standing on her two feet. Still, Ada wanted her to go with Luis - so she did.

She just hoped that her gut was right about Ada Wong and Spain won't become her grave.

"Ready?" Luis asked and she nodded. "Well then, let's go and find Sancho, ey?"

She appreciated his attempt at humor, she really did. But in that moment Ada and her well-being was all she could think about. The worst thought was that she was in serious danger, a danger Wesker could overcome in seconds - he just chose not to. Ada wasn't worth it for him - heck, she wasn't worth it for him.

"Princesa..." Luis began again as he stepped toward her, his fingers touching her hair. "Ada will be okay. Deep down you know that."

He tried to be comforting, even if he himself had his doubts. She could see it in his eyes; the small amount of fear, the 'what if...' questions... Still, she was thankful that he tried.

"I know." she chuckled sadly. "Hell, I'm pretty sure the only person who can kill Ada is Ada." Luis gave her a weak smile. "It's not just the infection, or Ada, or Leon... it's just-- everything. This damn mission, I can't fucking do it, Luis. I can't take the Amber. If I do, people will die. Lots of people. I feel like all my life I've been doing bad things, and only bad things. And I wanna make them right, I do, I just don't know where to start..."

Luis gently held onto her shoulders, his thumbs touchings her neck slightly. He had the most understanding look on his face she has ever seen. He seemed calm and collected - and so, so beautiful.

"I know the feeling, guapa. Believe me, I really do. I've done things, many things, I'm not proud of and I, too, want to make them right."

"Well, where do we start?" she asked, her lips trembling.

"We have to start small, don't we?" Luis asked and she nodded. "Well then we go and find Leon. We give him the medicine so him and Ashley will feel better. After, we'll lead them to my laboratory and you'll help me remove the plaga from them. How does that sound?"

"Good." she smiled. "Like the best job I've ever had."

Luis let go of her shoulders and she already missed his touch.

"It's a good thing you're my best asistente."

She chuckled at his words, then licked her lips so they wouldn't stay dry. She could feel the small cut on her lower lip with her tounge.

"Luis?"

"What is it, princesa?"

"Just so you know..." she began as she took an unsure, careful step toward Luis, and put her hand on his chest, her fingers playing with his jacket's zipper. "You are the best part of this damn job."

She leaned in to close the gap between them, but Luis was quicker.

His hands landed on both sides of her face, his thumbs drawing gentle circles into her skin - then he pulled her close and suddenly his lips were touching hers.

She sighed as he began kissing her, his mouth swallowing her every noise. The kiss wasn't at all fast or rough; no, it was slow, sweet, yet so full of passion she had to dig her fingers into his leather jacket, so her knees wouldn't buckle.

Damn, Luis Serra was perfect.

He was charming, smart, sweet, funny and he could kiss her to death in a heartbeat.

In those moments, as their tounges were dancing together, not at all fighting for dominance, she swore she'd do anything to start over with him.

She pulled away to breathe, her chest raising and falling quickly.

"Well princesa," Luis began with a grin. "I'm glad the feeling is mutual."

•••

Cheating fate

She was holding onto Luis tight as they both landed on the ground. She could hear her bones crack as she landed on the hard floor, and soon her muscles began to burn from the pain.

She looked at Luis' face, what was so close to hers she could feel his weak, shallow beaths on her skin. His face was pale as small droplets of blood ran down his lips.

In her eyes Luis was beatiful - he had all those emotions he wasn't afraid to show; happiness, joy, calmness, sadness... Still, her favourite was when his lips curled upwards, forming a charming grin as he said something flirty.

In that moment the only feeling she could see on Luis' face was pain. And she absolutely hated that.

A quiet squelching sound could be heard, and Luis' eyes widened. Krauser pulled his knife out. He pulled the damn knife out! She felt panic take over as she tried to climb out from under Luis' arm. God damn it, he's going to bleed out!

"Major Krauser! What-- why?" she could barely hear Leon's words as her panic took over.

"Recovering stolen goods." Krauser took the Amber from Luis' jacket, and stepped onto her hand when she tried to push herself up to see how bad Luis' injury was. "And killing a few rats along the way."

She groaned in pain. In reality she wanted to scream. She wanted to kick and claw; she wanted to shoot Krauser to death or stab him until he was a bloody mess.

"Easy work." Krauser stood up and walked toward Leon, finally leaving her alone.

"Ashley... it was you."

"You catch on quick."

Her hands were shaking as she tried to take a good look at the wound on Luis' back.

Thankfully she noticed the suspicious shadow behind Luis right before the knife hit him - she had to thank Ada for her great reflexes. The knife still got him deep and bad, but it luckily avoided his spinal chord.

The wound was under his right shoulder, next to his arm. She hissed as she looked at it and quickly tore her dress, then took off Luis' jacket so she could put pressure on the wound.

She dumbly noted that Leon was having a one on one fight with Krauser.

"Princesa..." Luis mumbled as she sat him up.

"Sh, don't talk." she managed to say as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. "Don't-- you need your strength."

"I-- we need to help Leon."

She turned to look at Kennedy who successfully avoided Krauser's attack, and pushed the larger male on the ground. He was handling it just fine.

"No. No, he's fine. Leon's fine." she argued as she tied pieces of her torn dress together, so she'd be able to tie the thing around Luis' body, hoping it'd keep enough pressure on his wound while she took him off the damn island. "And you'll be fine too. You have to be. This will keep pressure on the wound until we get out of here and--"

"Princesa." Luis said again, looking up at her weakly through hooded eyes. "I think we have to change our plans."

She shook her head; no. A thick, heavy tear fell from her eye and many more were following it.

"No!" she finished her makeshift dressing as the word broke out of her - the dressing seemed fine, blood wasn't pouring out of his wound anymore, and it seemed strong enough to hold out until she found some thread and a needle to stitch him up. "Don't you say that, you hear me? You promised me a dance after we get out of here. You promised we'd have salmorejo for dinner, because I've never tasted that before... So don't you change our damn plans! You promised, Luis Serra, and a gentleman always keeps his promises..."

Luis smiled at her weakly.

"Just so you know, guapa... You're the best thing that happened to me."

She pushed her lips together, forming a thin, angry line.

"Don't you say goodbye! Don't you fucking--"

Quiet footsteps could be heard from behind and she grabbed her gun before turning around, thinking it'd be Krauser she'd see. To her surprise Ada was the one standing in front of her with an emotion she couldn't read.

Ada looked at the wounded Luis, who was smiling up at her through the blood in his mouth; then she looked at her and her teary eyes.

"Did you stop the bleeding?" Ada asked and she nodded. "Good, then give him this." Ada gave her a strange, green and yellow colored mixture. "It takes a few moments to kick in, but it'll help with the pain."

Ada waited patiently until she forced the mixture down Luis' throat, who started coughing, but slowly turned less and less pale.

"Ada--"

"Now listen to me-- I'll help Leon and after the fight's over, you'll get out of here with Luis. There's a boat on the western coast. Use it and get out."

She blinked her tears away.

Get out. She knew what Ada meant. She was giving her an out - a way out of this life, a chance to live a happy, long life with Luis, far away from people like Albert Wesker.

"But..."

"Get out of here, Y/N. And safely. I'll handle Wesker."

Ada leaned down and kissed her forehead, showing her a sign of love she never knew she had.

Soon, Ada shot Krauser's knife out of his hands - just in time, since Leon's luck slowly began to run out.

While Ada talked to Krauser, she leaned down and gave her lover a kiss on the lips. It was barely a peck, yet Luis seemed to appreciate the gesture.

"See, Luis?" she asked with a smile. "We'll have that dance one way or another."

•••

Defying a god

Ada watched as her ex-partner in crime helped Luis into an elevator, while Leon went on his seperate way to find Ashley Graham and get the parasite out of her by using Luis' laboratory.

She smiled when Luis leaned against the elvator's wall and held onto his girlfriend's hand, kissing her knuckles.

Just because she and Leon have to go their seperate ways, they don't.

She called Wesker right after all three of them were out of sight.

"I really hope you have good news."

"Y/L/N is dead." Ada said without a single emotion, knowing fully well how good Wesker is at reading people. "She died trying to protect Serra, who was attacked by Krauser. They are both dead. Krauser has the Amber now."

"Good. She has always been a dead weight anyway. An extra problem, too weak to act like she should've... She was always too emotional. And you-- I suggest you hurry. You know that I don't like to wait around. Get me the Amber!"

Ada ended the call and put the transmitter away.

She never thought of her as dead weight. She liked her. She was humane even with a job like theirs. She was way better than Wesker in her book.

Ada really hoped she'll have a great life - a life she herself envied, yet knew she'd never have.

[whumpsoda]

Taking - Nevan & Darius

WOHEO Masterlist I finally wrote this… better now than never, I guess! I can’t wait to get more into early captivity stuff :D

cw: hypnosis/mind control, vampire whumper, kidnapping

This actually takes place a bit over six months after Malak was taken!

———————————————————————

“Yeah, Gen, I’ve got it, s’all good.” The sliver of a phone was pressed between Nevan’s shoulder and cheek, hands occupied with a bulky load of filled to the brim bags. He chuckled as he spoke, his voice loud and casual. “I’m already on my way back. I’m only like ten minutes away.”

He stepped in a lazy path down the cracked sidewalk, illuminated only by sporadically placed street lamps. The cumbersome bags bumped irritatingly to his legs with each step, crinkling into the silent night air. “I got Amara some toys too! They were pretty cheap, but really cute.”

A voice, muffled and glitched, spoke from the other end of the connection. “Aw, that’s sweet. Thanks, babe.” Genevieve said, from back at their apartment.

“I grabbed her a new bib, also. The one she’s got now is pretty gross.” He chatted, vision absentmindedly trailing over each next building he passed. Not many people could be seen inside, most already having returned home after dark. “How’s she doing?”

“Stop.” 

Nevan’s avid steps quickly became weighted, his legs gradually braking to a halt. Genevieve continued her energetic rambling, his mouth falling slack and any words dying right in his throat. 

“Still.” 

His muscles tensed, holding rigidly in their position. No matter the pouding in his mind, calling him to make a move, Nevan was simply and utterly unable to connect his brain to his limbs.

“…Nevan? Are you there?”

There was someone to his side, obscured by the convenient shadows of the dark and his unwavering sight. The most Nevan could manage was to sputter out a half baked, confused stutter. “He- hey-”

“Nevan?”

“It’s in your best interest not to fight.” They whispered, directly into his ear. Nevan’s breath hitched. “Hush now.” The stranger soothed, pressing a gentle hand to Nevan’s chest. “Just close your little lips and quiet your throat. Stay nice and still, completely quiet.”

“Nevan? Hey, are you there? Is this thing working?”

Nevan watched, all he really could do while paralyzed by fear and the hold of the man’s words on his mind, as Darius stepped into his line of vision. Dressed in drab, dignified clothing, the attacker studied him with an intense gaze.

“God, this stupid phone. Nevan?” She sighed. “If you can hear me, I’ll see you when you get home. Love you.”

With each careful inch forward, boots clacking against the floor, Nevan’s stomach caved further with terrified sickness, thoughts running wild yet too fast to catch. He shivered as Darius’ icy cold fingers clutched his chin, beginning to gingerly shift his head every which way, studying Nevan’s features.

Nevan swallowed. Genevieve hung up.

“Great bone structure. Clear skin, beautiful eyes.” He muttered, speaking more so to himself than Nevan. As he did so, the phone was slipped away from Nevan’s ear, an action he barely noticed, and Darius quickly flung the cell to the floor. The crack of the screen rang just feet away as it hit the concrete.

Nevan twitched at the sound, but didn’t dare take his eyes off the man inches away. His vision was fixed on Darius’ mouth as he spoke.

Sharp, jutting fangs stuck out from the rest of Darius’ glimmering white teeth, large enough to rip out his throat with a single bite.

A vampire.

Nevan wasn’t given the chance to dwell on the realization before a firm hand gripped a ball of his hair, yanking back his head and forcing a yelp to scratch from his throat. “Hm.” The vampire hummed, studying the locks and running fingers through them. “Dreadful cut, terribly uneven. Nicely soft and shiny, though. We’ll have to fix that up.” He noted. 

“I do think you’ll serve an adequate pick. Wonderful looks, an easily overcome mind.” Nevan tried to make sense of the vampire’s eery observations. As the gears of his terrified brain turned, Darius slipped into the nape of his neck, a swift action that not only caught him by surprise but fluttered in his heart.

“Above average blood, as well.” Darius whispered, smelling the other man’s skin and letting his breath beat upon the area. “You’ll provide a lovely meal. A sweet, docile, obedient little meal.”

Meal? Nevan didn’t want to be the snack of a bloodthirsty creature. A soothing, angelic voiced creature, who’s sensual purrs licked his mind. Of course he wouldn’t… want that.

Though, he couldn’t help the way his eyes turned glassy and his eyelashes fluttered from the idea. “A delightful idea, I know. Being nice and docile for a hungry vampire.” His voice was snaking its pleasurable way around Nevan’s brain, echoing beautifully into each crack and crevice. 

It was already apparent Nevan was beginning to crack. “Drop the bags. You won’t be needing those.” Darius commanded, and after a moment the human’s grip fully released. His purchases landed with a thud to the concrete, spilling right out of the plastic. “Good boy.”

As much as Nevan should’ve lingered on the fact he’d just followed the man’s instructions with not a beat of opposition, he paid far more attention to what the man had called him. 

The vampire had spoken to him like one would a dog. That… wasn’t right. But, the way he said it, singing it in his charming, echoing voice, it sounded so good. So right. He would gladly accept such praise if the stranger would continue in such a wonderful sound as that.

“Hm. Tell me your name.”

“N- Nevan.” It rolled right off the tongue, like he didn’t even need a second to think about what he was doing. Like he didn’t even have the chance to stop himself from providing the vampire with what he asked. Nothing felt off about such a thing though, actually pleasant to follow Darius’ demands.

“Isn’t that just convenient. A pretty name for a pretty thrall. I don’t even have to rename you.” Darius stated, pleased, a bit of a grin tugging at his lips. “Well, Nevan, as of tonight you’ll be coming home with me.”

Home.

Home. How could he have forgotten? “But… I need, uh, need… I’m going… home… I think…” he thought. Just moments ago Nevan was so sure of his goal, yet now he was doubting himself, the idea muddling inside his brain. He was going home, wasn’t he?

“Yes, that’s right. I’ll be taking you home. To my home. That sounds nice, don’t you agree?” The vampire stated, matter of fact. He appeared so confident in his words, like he knew just what he was talking about. Nevan couldn’t help but be swayed by them.

Home. That sounded right. “Sure… mister…” Nevan mumbled, his voice drawing into a thick slur with each next word. The corners of his lips twitched into the ghost of a growing smile. This kind stranger was going to bring him home! What a wonderful prospect, fluttering in his heart as he continued to think it over.

“That would be yes Master.” Darius corrected, purring tenderly into his ear.

Master? Nevan’s face went wide, shaking partly out of the trance. “N-no!” He cried, recoiling in shock.

“Shhh. Don’t go freaking out on me, relax. Let my words sink in.” One of Darius’ hands curled over Nevan’s chest, sweetly stroking in circular motions over his heart. “Calm and relaxed, again. Good and submissive you are, ignoring those ridiculous calls of defiance.”

The rigid grip he held on Nevan’s jaw moved his head into a slow nod, and as he continued to digest Darius’ words he couldn’t seem to tell if the vampire was moving it, or him. “Mmm… yes… Master…” Any fear still pent up  fizzled right out as he finally agreed, his body warming as he relented. 

“One more time for me. Yes, Master.” 

Nevan wasted not a second to obediently repeat. “Yes… Master…” his tongue was so drowsily heavy, weighing down his slack falling jaw and slurring his speech.

“Good, good.” More praise! It was strange how pleasant such simple words could feel, but so marvelous they were. The vampire finally stepped back, content that at least then Nevan had no qualms to fight back.

“Here,” the human followed with sleepy eyes, as the vampire plunged his swift hand into his pocket. “Put this on.” 

Nevan eyed the cream colored collar that dangled from his palm, held out expectantly for him to take. His vision carefully trailed down the thin strap of light leather, and the metal clasps that glittered in the light of a nearby streetlamp, taking on the image of a gift from a god. 

At that very moment, the only thing that mattered to him was the collar. The magnificent, calling collar. Anything and everything surrounding it was exempt from his vision, eyes purely focused on the magical seeming item.

Nevan barely processed the steady, mechanical lift of his arms drifting toward the object, obediently following the vampire’s orders. The coarse piece was gently lifted to his throat, and wrapped around his bobbing adams apple by his own fingers. 

His body felt distant and fuzzily disconnected from his clouded mind as he did the clasp, creating a tight, warm ring around his tender neck. Nevan could sense the vampire’s piercing eyes following his motions, but could sense his satisfaction.

“I’m certainly lucky I found you at that dreaded skate park.” Darius’ words were thick with disdain, his expression twisting with disgust. Sorry guilt churned through Nevan’s belly. “It’s rare for me to find an acceptable thrall so quickly, but I’m sure you will do.” His knuckles softly brushed Nevan’s jaw, sending the human’s mind reeling once again.

“Skate… skate… park? Do… do I know you…?”

“You surely don’t remember it, but we’ve met. You mustn't need to worry your pretty little head about that, though. Nothing of your concern, really.” Of course, the man was right. Nevan had no reason to question him, he’d much rather just listen to fuzzy words slip from his magnificent lips, watching the buzz of his throat.

“There’s no need for you to speak, either.” He instructed, hushing Nevan by pressing a finger to his lips. Nevan couldn’t help but giggle as the contact flooded a slight bliss through his brain, a reaction Darius evidently found repulsive as he gave a look of disapproval.

The human blinked hard as sharp snaps of a delicate hand went off in his face, catching his sleepy attention. “Come along now. We’d best be heading home.” 

Nevan eagerly began to follow, although with the daze of his head he seemed to wander, Darius’ graceful path the only indication of where to step. Soon he’d even forgotten where they were headed.

He didn’t mind. Really, he didn’t have the mind to think about it. The man with the wonderful voice could tell him all he needed to know, and he would be satisfied.

———————————————————————

Taglist- @softvampirewhump @iys-cloud @battyfantasy If anyone wants to be removed or added to the taglist, please let me know! :)

[axigailxo]

Pretty Like You | PJM (1)

part one: mini-skirts and big problems

— in which park jimin desires nothing more than to be pretty like you.

series summary. where jimin is jealous of the beauty that is you, writes about it, and falls apart when you accidentally read it.

pairing. feminine!jimin x reader

rating. M | 18+ |

genre. enemies to lovers, feminine!jimin, self hatred au, slight identity crisis, self love journey, eventual smut, sub!jimin, angst, fluff, heartfelt

w.c. 4.2k

warnings. heavy descriptions of self hate and self abuse later into the story, please be advised

ch summary. an introduction into the crumbling life of park jimin and his cat, daisy.

**this is part 1 of my new series pretty like you, not a stand-alone

series masterlist | next->

It’s horrendous.

Implausible, even.

No human being should’ve looked that good on a Monday. But of course, like always, you did. You always do.

Jimin has drawn the conclusion that there’s no way you’re naturally that stunning and you go the extra mile to get ready every morning. And he thinks it’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous that you’d get up an extra hour or two earlier just to show up to a class that only lasts a little over an hour where you’re just sat behind a desk the whole time.

But then again, Jimin appreciates your attire. So much so that he was able to memorize it from this morning’s lecture.

A dainty black miniskirt with a cami and cardigan that Jimin may or may not have a replica of, and the sheerest shade of pantyhose to really capture that sex appeal you love. Jimin has noticed, by now, that you try to add at least one sexy article to every single outfit you wear. Jimin notices, and Jimin hates it.

He hates that you can dress sexily without the fear of being judged, whereas for Jimin, it’s not so easy.

Tossing another cropped tee into the mountain of clothes piling on the floor, Jimin’s huff is quick to turn into something of a strangled cry as he collapses to the ground, back against the side of his bed.

As if on cue, a furry figure of a cat peaks into the doorframe, walking in proudly like it owns the place. At this rate, it does considering it’s always there to ease Jimin during these troubling times.

Daisy takes care of Jimin, and on occasion, it’s the other way around.

Daisy, Jimin’s calico cat, nudges her soft head against his arm that’s lazily slumped down, encouraging him to pet her. When he does, her purrs rev up like an engine and the small gesture is enough to steal a slight twitch of a smile from the man.

However, it doesn’t stop the oncoming sob.

Tears fresh and emotion at its highest, Jimin stays sat on the ground wearing nothing but the repulsive baggy sweatpants that he forced himself to wear only because it’s better to pretend he likes dressing that way than wearing what he actually likes and getting judged.

Jimin, believe it or not, is a coward. His words. He hates that he can’t just put the damn skirt on. He hates how he can’t bring himself to leave his apartment in that cute cropped tee that he bought ages ago and still has never worn.

He hates how he’s such a pussy when it comes to this.

But it’s not just skepticism. Jimin knows there’s not a lot of nice people out there, especially not at his college campus. Don’t get Jimin started on all the homophobic and pitiful words that frat boys have thrown at him so far in the span of his first year. And that was when he was wearing his clothes that he believed were seven sizes too big and awfully plain.

His “boy” clothes.

Jimin knows that in today’s society, you’re labeled. Weather you want to be or not, every passing stranger is going to label you as what they see. And with said frat boys, the ones with a single brain cell, if they ever saw Jimin wearing the clothes that he has piled in front of him— he’d fit their accusations.

Jimin was raised by only his mother, who was raised by only her mother and a sister. Jimin has had absolutely no male figure in his life so it’s not bizarre that his demeanor is more feminine than most men.

But people at school aren’t so smart, or nice. Therefore, Jimin isn’t just a boy who was raised by a woman, to them— he was just gay. Jimin hates how his demeanor is what chooses his sexuality. Because, contrary to those frat boys’ belief, Jimin is straight.

He may not know a lot about himself at the ripe age of 21, but he knows for sure that he’s not into men. Being a teen and liking things that the world tells you is for girls definitely made Jimin question his own sexuality time to time, but after a couple nights out at a gay bar and a two extremely awkward hookups, Jimin knew men weren’t up his alley. Especially not when the thought of women is what gets him off every single time.

He just wants to wear a damn skirt and have a girlfriend, is that really so much to ask for?

Daisy was able to sneak her way onto Jimin’s lap, already half asleep despite Jimin’s occasional jolts when he sniffles for air.

“Thank you Daisy,” he whispers, his fading cry turning into a soft giggle when the feline looks up at him, eyes glinting with a look that Jimin knows by now.

“Or are you just being nice to me because you’re hungry?”

Daisy continues to nudge her head against his chest, confirming his accusation and enticing Jimin’s first real giggle.

“Okay,” Jimin says in an exhale, more in an attempt to get ahold of himself. “Fine, let’s get you some food.”

The cat happily jumps off Jimin’s lap at the invitation, hurriedly exiting the bedroom and scurrying off to the kitchen before Jimin can even make it off the ground. When he does, he nearly trips on the mound of hopeless clothes, eyeing it over before trailing his vision to the standing mirror.

His eyes scan over his chest, down to his waist, and to his hips. He loves his shape, loves the way women’s clothing looks on him. It’s too bad no one will be able to appreciate it the way he does, though. It’s too bad he can’t show it off like he so badly wishes to.

Like how you do.

You get to dress in fitted clothing and show off your shape without an intense fear of getting judged or labeled. Jimin despises how blind you are to that advantage. He despises how badly he wishes he could be you for even a day.

Because for Jimin, he has to hide. Whereas for you, you’re allowed to be beautiful whenever you want.

Even on Mondays.

“What do you think, Daisy? Be honest.”

Peeling his eyes away from his reflection, he twists to show Daisy, who’s freshly awake from a nap, his outfit that he’s in love with.

A grumpy meow is all he gets before her eyes slowly shut again and Jimin scoffs in offense.

“Whatever, you just don’t have taste.”

Turning to face himself again, he bites back a smile as he snaps yet another mirror pic of himself, halting midway as he adjusts himself to sit on his knees. And it’s when the miniskirt rises up his thigh that he gets an idea.

Thigh highs.

A subtle gasp of excitement escapes the boy as he recklessly tosses his phone onto the bed— completely missing which makes him flinch in startle in response to the thud that followed. Navigating to his dresser, he ignores Daisy who clearly did not appreciate the sudden noise, and begins to dig in his scandalous drawer for the thigh high socks.

And yes, Jimin has something he calls his scandalous drawer. It’s for moments like these where he wants to add sex appeal to his outfit.

Kind of like how you do.

“There you are,” he murmurs under his breath as he takes hold of the long white fabrics. He doesn’t wait until he’s back in front of the mirror to put them on, sitting on the edge of his bed and hurriedly slipping the thigh high socks on.

Jimin just knows he looks good. He can feel it. He feels sexy, and he hasn’t even looked in the mirror yet. A miniskirt paired with thigh high socks and an open cardigan— no shirt.

And fuck does he feel good in it.

Not able to wait any longer he tiptoes to the mirror until he’s met with the figure he wishes the world could see.

Jimin loves his appearance, a lot. It’s just that the version he loves is only seen on rare occasions like this where he spontaneously decides to try his risky outfits on. No one else can or will see this version, and for that, Jimin’s self love is private. Almost invisible given how little he lets himself see it.

“Good call on the thigh highs,” he mumbles to himself, staring a little longer until he starts to notice all the imperfections. When he does, he’s quick to step away, landing himself back first onto his unmade bed that Daisy was way too content in.

“Move it, there’s room for both of us,” he tells her as she mopes over to the opposite side.

One hand behind his head, other on his stomach— toying with the ruffled hem of the skirt, Jimin stares at the ceiling as his nightly dose of thoughts kick in. And tonight, all he can really think about is how badly he wishes someone could see him. And if he’s lucky enough, earn a compliment or two. Maybe, if his luck was good, he’d be called pretty if someone saw him dressed like this.

But his luck has never been good.

It was his poor luck that made him be born into a rude and strict society. And he hates that. But what can he do? He’s just a person in this big world. He doesn’t believe his voice is loud enough for change. And even if it were, he’d still be too much of a coward to try.

It’s all one big tangled problem that he’s trapped in.

He’s only a freshman in college and he feels like the world is ending.

But does yours? Jimin wonders. For a long moment or two he ponders if you sometimes feel that way too. Of course it wouldn’t be for the same reason as him, but could there be something that weighs you down?

And if so, how the fuck do you mask it so easily with that bright smile of yours?

Maybe because you’re perfect, Jimin thinks.

So perfect that Jimin is laying on his bed wearing an outfit almost identical to the one you wore today all only because he thought it looked great on you. He wanted to feel great too.

He wanted to feel the way you probably do in such fragile clothing. Leaving absolutely nothing to imagination because that’s how brave you are. Jimin envies that. He wants that.

Bravery, of course— not you.

He wants to be brave enough to show some skin and go the whole day feeling good. Feeling confident and relieved. But that day won’t come, unfortunately. All he has is the privacy of his apartment to feel brave in these clothes.

But even when Jimin is hard on himself, that doesn’t stop him from wanting to just feel good sometimes.

And there’s no better way than this.

Somehow in the mix of his thought spiral his small fingers managed to drag his skirt up the length of his thigh, cold air traveling straight to his exposed tip.

He knew he wasn’t wearing underwear. He did that on purpose. Again, he wanted to feel good.

He wanted to feel sexy.

His fingers slide their way across his left thigh, getting higher and higher until his breathing is hitched and his bottom lip is raw.

But then he stops himself.

Quickly adjusting the skirt, he sits up with a sharp breath.

What was that?

It’s one thing to touch himself, he always does— everyone does. But he will not do such a thing with you fresh in mind. You already have some power over him. He won’t give you this as well. And It doesn’t matter if you know about it or not because he always will.

He already hates that he envies you so much, he will not envy you like this too.

You’re just an annoying, perfect, confident girl who has no idea how lucky she is. Jimin doesn’t envy that part. He just envies your fashion sense. That’s it.

All he needs is some sleep.

Hopefully when he wakes up, not only will his hard on be gone but so will you. Not a single thought of you will be in his mind from this point forward, Jimin declares to himself.

Let’s just hope you don’t find your way into his dreams.

Like always.

“Nice jacket.”

“You’re not funny.”

A subtle laugh escapes the man, playfully nudging Jimin which causes him to almost fall off the bench.

“Taehyung!” Jimin whines as he regains his balance on the tiny seat, crashing his hips into his friend’s on a mission to knock him down too.

He fails, earning another mischievous laugh from the man.

“Sorry. Now what were you saying you had to tell me?”

Sat in a corner table with Jimin’s one and only friend in their favorite campus cafe, Jimin sets his bag on the table and turns to face him.

“Hello to you too,” he scolds.

A boxy smile is given and before he can greet the fed up boy back he’s already talking.

“Last night,” Jimin begins, brows furrowed in half embarrassment half concentration. “Something weird happened.”

“Did Daisy catch you jerki—“

“Tae!” Jimin cuts him off in a whisper-shout, hoping no bystanders hear his unfiltered words.

“Joking. What happened last night?”

Jimin sighs as he tries to find his thoughts again. He had it all organized in his mind but his friend’s reckless banter has made it all the more scrambled and confusing.

To put it simply, Jimin doesn’t know how to tell his best friend that he thinks his crush made him hard last night.

Ah, yes. Kim Taehyung. His and Jimin’s friendship goes all the way back to freshman year of high school, also known as Jimin’s worse year ever. Endless bullying and his identity crisis at its peak, Jimin was so done with everyone and everything. That’s until one of the most popular boys in school took him under his wing.

Taehyung has been Jimin’s shield for almost five years now, defending him from every derogatory slur and glare from arrogant frat boys. And being a frat boy himself, Taehyung had most, if not all of those arrogant asshole’s respect. And with that being the case, they’d never disrespect Jimin in front of Taehyung.

And it’s nice having at least one friend to help him out, Jimin thinks.

The only underside is that his one friend has no clue about his secret and God only knows if he’d still accept Jimin if he did. And that he’s in the fraternity for fucks sake.

Also that he has a massive crush on you.

That may or may not be another reason Jimin doesn’t like you so much. You have the whole school wrapped around your finger, and unfortunately for Jimin, that includes his best friend.

“Hello? Earth to Jimin,” Taehyung tries to get the older boy’s attention.

Blinking himself back to space, he shakes his head as he discards where he was going with the conversation.

“I forgot.”

“Bullshit.”

“I did,” Jimin rolls his eye, snatching Taehyung’s coffee and taking an obnoxiously big sip to shift the attention away from what he originally had to say.

Taehyung doesn’t believe him, but he respects Jimin enough to not pry.

“Whatever. Just know you can tell me anything.”

“Yeah yeah,” Jimin shakes off.

And he knows that. Taehyung may be friends with all of those terrible guys who’ve made Jimin’s life hell, but he’s still good to him. Believe it or not Jimin has had many other issues that weren’t about his secret, and with each one Taehyung was the one who provided him a shoulder to cry on.

They’re close enough to joke about all the things Jimin gets bullied for. Like his jacket for example, it’s the same one he wears probably three days out of the week. It’s big and ugly but Jimin thinks it’s boyish so he wears it. Anything to hide. The frat boys still give him shit for it, though. But Taehyung loves it, and he thinks the hate it gets is so ridiculous that he himself teases Jimin about it occasionally. And Jimin finds it funny when it’s Taehyung who teases him, because he knows it’s coming from a place of close friendship. Unlike those other frat boys.

But despite how close they are, he knows he can’t talk about his secret, or you with Taehyung. That’s the one part of him he’d like to keep tucked away for as long as he can endure.

“Alright, well I’m gonna get going. I told Johnny I’d meet him at the dorms so we can get a session in before class.”

“Smoking is bad for you,” says Jimin as he rolls his eyes.

“So is sulking, lift your head up Minnie,” Taehyung massages at Jimin’s shoulder for a second or two before he gets up and grabs his stuff.

“I’m not sulking.”

“You’re always sulking,” The younger man teases as Jimin swats his hand off of his shoulder. “We’ll talk later?”

Jimin hums in what Taehyung assumes is agreement, ruffling his hair before making his way over to the door of the cafe. A grumpy Jimin is left behind fixing his hair, gathering his stuff too so he can head to class early.

Nothing beats the stares he gets as many students still, to this day, wonder how on Earth Taehyung is friends with him. It’s fucked up, really, but Jimin is used to it.

He’s used to favoritism in the school, and Jimin groans as he realizes he’ll be seeing more of it for the next hour or so that he’ll be seeing you in class.

But he can’t seem to figure out if he’s more excited to see you than he is annoyed.

Jimin is furious.

Nothing new, except that this feeling of anger isn’t rooted from jealousy or insecurity— It’s because you rejected his kindness.

Jimin, like many, were eyeing your outfit. It’s dainty and may even be the prettiest shade of baby blue Jimin has ever seen. So when he forced himself to smile your way when you caught him staring, he did not expect an eye roll from you. But nonetheless, it happened, and Jimin hates you a little bit more now.

Jaw clenched and eyes piercing lasers into the big clock on the far wall of the lecture hall, Jimin counts down the seconds until he’s able to free himself from this torturous environment. Until he frees himself from you.

When the clock does hit the desired time, he’s the only student to stand up— earning him several stares which only makes him angrier, and with little to no more patience left he’s walking out the doors on a mission to channel this frustration.

Past the corridor and straight to the art room— also known as the room that’s almost always empty because why is there an art class in a writing school in the first place— Jimin slams his bag down on the first desk he sees and sits himself down.

Why couldn’t you prove him wrong?

Why couldn’t you just have smiled back?

You just had to roll your eyes when Jimin didn’t even like you in the first place. If he had it his way he would’ve snapped profanities the moment your eyes met. But he’s not a monster. He’s polite.

So polite that he smiled your way and now regrets it miserably.

Jimin can’t stand you now.

Grabbing a random notebook from his bag, he does what any angry writing major would do and begins to jot down all the many reasons he hates you, all in the form of scattered thoughts.

Conceited.

Privileged.

Spoiled.

All words that are used quite frequently in his paragraph of scribbled rage.

Beautiful.

Unique.

Mesmerizing.

All words that he hates to admit but must include because they’re the reason he hates you like he does.

Jimin goes on and on for a while writing nothing but blunt absurdities that are simple and cuts straight to the point, majority of them being repetitive I hate you’s. It’s not until he finds himself at the peak of frustration that it all boils down to an ache within him.

Jimin thinks about why you anger him so much. He thinks about that outfit he could’ve worn today if only he wasn’t so scared. Then, Jimin writes down every raw, painful feeling he has.

Why do you have to be so beautiful? Why can’t I be like you? I often wonder if you think about my predicament. I wonder if it ever crosses your mind that I’m even one percent envious of you. When I think about that, it hurts even more.

I wish you knew I was hurting because of you.

You don’t know me well. I hardly know you. But what I’m certain of is that you’re the most beautifully ignorant person I’ve ever come across and I do hope one day you’ll realize how blind you are.

You’re blind to your reality of easiness. It’s not easy for me. I can’t wear that shade that you do. Can’t wear a shirt so low cut like that either. Because for me, I’m expected to dress like someone I’m not.

This isn’t me.

And I think I may hate you most because I see the real me in you. That courageous being who doesn’t even think twice about breaking the rules of my gender; that’s the real me. Although I hate both versions of me because neither of them have helped me out of this suffocating barrier.

I want to be me.

I wish you weren’t you.

I want to be you.

A slam of a period is what concludes the built up momentum, pencil flying across the desk as he slouches back in his chair with an exhale. He skims over the words that are quite dark since he was applying significant pressure. He vaguely reads some words until he’s not in the mood to think about any of it anymore and closes the journal shut.

And although he didn’t reread that essay of his, the last sentence still can’t seem to leave his mind.

Even if it’s just for a moment, he wants to be you.

Racing down the long hall of the unnecessarily large school, his strides echo off the walls as his heartbeat is ten steps ahead of him.

He should’ve never written that journal, he thinks.

He should’ve never left it in class either.

The passing of two more doors is all it took until he was standing out of breath in the threshold of what he hoped would be an empty classroom, the journal that he was going to grab and go no longer being in the spot he had left it.

His heartbeat almost fails him, legs buckling as his thoughts falter.

He knows it’s you. He knows your figure. He also knows that you’re standing there, reading his journal full of absurd remarks about how he wishes he were you.

Jimin wants to die. He wants it all to just dissipate. But before the boy can erase what he just walked in on, you turn around.

Journal open in your hand, your eyebrows are furrowed and Jimin doesn’t know if he can withstand that look of genuine concern on your face.

He also doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad look.

“I’m not gay,” he helplessly throws his panicked words up.

Slightly less confident, having used up all his energy on those three words, he manages to follow up, “…if that’s what you’re thinking.”

And the giggle that escapes you despite what you just read, the cruel things he wrote about you even though you did absolutely nothing but be beautiful, Jimin notes how badly he’s fucked up.

“It’s not,” you respond, slowly closing the journal, eyes following.

It’s while you’re still looking down that you decide to ask your first question.

“Listen, Jimin,” you bring your eyes up, tone a little too concerned for his liking. “Do you want to talk?”

Talk.

“Those things you wrote, it’s just—“ you stop yourself. “I know you didn’t mean for anyone to read it but from what I saw I think you need someone to help you learn to be kinder to yourself.”

Jimin opens his mouth to talk only to close it when he realizes he doesn’t know how to respond.

“I know it’s none of my business and I’m sorry for reading, but I don’t want you to feel like that. Let me help you.”

Jimin feels like a villain in a movie. He feels like the worst possible character there could ever be. He feels like a bad person. Because there he was all this time, writing about how much he hates you for being you, and here you are now, asking him to accept your help seconds after you just read everything.

The world does not deserve someone like you, he thinks. He does not deserve someone like you.

But as much as he feels unworthy, he’s never been more excited at the opportunity to get to know you. To have you there beside him on this new journey of self love.

“Okay,” he accepts, voice quiet and still embarrassed.

“Okay,” you repeat, smile big and hope at its highest.

Okay.

~~~

a/n: part one of a new seriesss les mf goooo (i missed writing so much omg, hope y’all like this one im vry excited abt it 🥹) ALSO part 2 isn’t as confusing lmao, it’s always difficult to clearly start out a series :/ pero i promise it’ll make more sense along the road :)

🏷️: @exactlygreatcoffee @sweetieguk @ctrlsht @blessrious @someusername133 @dreamer-pjm @zadkielr @dearsullix @lailaaxd @osakis-gf @jnghs @seltansworld @bxnqtxnie @moon-kid39

taglist = open, let me know if you’d like to be added <3

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

“I’d lay you badly but I’d lay you gladly” (Roman Roy x fem!reader)

An: I’m gonna try. Let’s see how this goes. As an asexual (demisexual panromantic) I can feel it in my asexual bones that Roman is so part of the asexual club. Like he’s panromantic for sure he will date and flirt and be with anyone who makes him feel ~wiggly~ so to speak. I think he felt it with Gerri, and felt it with Tabitha. He feels like that pull toward them. And if given the chance he probs does want to bang. Like, he just never has that talk of ‘oh if I just stop thinking and let this person who I trust more then anything know what’s going on in my brain space then it works’ like our man is just. I love him because I am him.

I’m gonna tag @romeulusroy because I heard they were having a bad day and maybe soft roman can help

He liked looking at her when she didn’t know he was, he liked the feeling she gave him. A rush inside that he’s felt so few times in his life. Roman liked her smile, the way her lips split to show her teeth, the way her nose wrinkled when she didn’t like something. He liked her. Liked her? No he was pretty sure he loved her. Well what he assumed was love, he was pretty sure he’s only ever felt the emotion a handful of times.

Once when he was a kid and found a baby duck in the backyard pond of his mothers villa, it was so small and he helped it back into the pond where it’s family was. He remembers the feeling of warmth watching the mother goose bump it’s little tail back into place. He imagined every duck he saw after was somehow that one duck growing and visiting him.

He remembers the feeling when connor had popped him on the bathroom counter and bandaged up his scraped and bleeding knee. Connor was what he assumed his friends parents were like. He liked feeling cared for. Even if it was rare.

He likes listening to her ramble about her bullshit job of being a coffee runner most days, how she wishes she could punch Karl or frank or even his dad in the face when they forget her name, even though she’s worked under Gerri for at least 2 years.

He loves waking up next to her, always before her, something in him, maybe because of military school, maybe because he always wanted to be up before his siblings to hope that his dad would let him join him at the office, or to get the best pieces of bacon or toast for breakfast. Not anymore, now it was to be able to have the few moments of staring at her. Her softened face against the pillows, her worry stripped from her forehead. The moments when he could scratch her scalp lightly with his fingers and she would just sigh in her sleep.

He loved her. He would marry her if the fear of a marriage being the prison of unhappy people. From his parents to Tom and shiv and even Kendall. Though he would push all of it away if it meant a forever of seeing her like this.

He remembers the conversation that made him fall. Hard and fast and slamming him into the cold pavement.

“I’d lay you badly but I’d lay you gladly” it was a joke, she had laughed slightly looking down at her computer typing a report or email for Gerri or Karl or whoever was yanking her around this week.

“Roman we both know neither of us would enjoy that” it stung, she was right, but it stung.

“I mean I would rock your world for like a solid 3 seconds before you realise I have zero clue what’s going on” she had looked at him, cocking her head to the side, eye brow raised

“Roman. Can I ask you something.” He was caught off guard, his own walls coming up slightly, shrugging he looked around

“Yeah what’s up” he didn’t know why he couldn’t look at her suddenly but he just couldn’t.

“Do you know what asexuality is?” Asexuality? Obviously he did, biology and science was one class he knew he passed with more then a barley passing grade.

“Like fucking ameba and shit. They fuck themselves and bam! Another single celled whatever” she laughed, he turned to her then smiling a bit more

“I mean in the biology, organisms sense yeah, but like I mean in people,” Roman shrugged again shaking his head a little

“Some new fancy label the ‘woke’ mob has made to make people like my dad and Kendall rage for no reason?” She shook her head at that

“No Roman it means you don’t really like banging. Like, you could live with out it. So to speak, you could go your whole life never caring to want it. It wouldn’t change anything. And weird bathroom door Jack off sessions aside, it means your just not that into the whole sex thing” he felt his face flush at her mention of his brief weird relationship with Gerri. He simply looked at her

“I mean sex is…super cool….I love fucking, all night, we could do it right now, and it would be…explosive” he knew she could hear through his wavered tone

“Roman, do you know why I haven’t even pushed having sex?”

“I don’t know your weird and religious upbringing scared you for life with trauma?”

“Good guess but no…I’m asexual. Like, sex is just, a thing, I don’t care if we have it, or not, we could never and I would be 1000% okay with that. I don’t need you to bang me, how ever satisfying or not it would be, because I just, don’t need it.”

Roman stared at her then, his brain buzzing, heart slamming in his chest, he assumed like grace and Tabitha, one day you would clamber for him to attempt the unsuccessful routine of making out, hand stuff above his pants, a seemingly awkward game of red light green light before both of you gave up and you walked off to finish yourself in his bathroom.

“Roman, i haven’t brought it up, because if we never have sex ever, I wouldn’t care. It wouldn’t matter.”

He wanted to scream, and cry and hug her. He didn’t know why but he did. He simply stood up, walked over to her, yanked her up and kissed her. His hands holding her cheeks, hoping she understood what he meant in it.

When he pulled away she smiled at him nodding

“One day we may, who knows, but one thing is for sure. We’ll both lay each other badly”

“But gladly?”

“Yeah, but gladly”