#not a request but I've been stressed
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You doing ok?
hi
#i'm alive. simply being chewed upon by multiple things#work is more stressful than i'd like it to be. for instance i'm hoping that i submitted my time off notification for tomorrow correctly#because otherwise it might read as a no call no show and i would . like to continue having a job#now to be fair. i do have it on the system that i requested it at the beginning of the month and i emailed my supervisor about it last week#so even if i didn't submit it correctly i'm likely in the clear#but nonetheless. i also got a firm talking-to the other day and now i am on ✨thin ice✨ for dicking around too much#because they track ur idle time at my work (computer) and mine was Quite High so my supervisor was like man what the hell is this#but even though she was kind of baffled at me spending so much time dicking around#she couldn't even really be all that mad in the end because i'm still doing good numbers and have made no (zero) mistakes#so she was just like. it's kind of impressive that your numbers look this good when you literally have 50% idle time#so she goes imagine what you could do if you weren't wasting so much time#and yeah i can whip out some Really Good Numbrers when i put the effort in.#so the problem is not my numbers it's just that i'm not spending long enough doing my tasks for the day#but i don't want to drag out those tasks intentionally so i've just been upping my own standards/goals#as much as i hate giving any more of my brain power than is necessary to giant corporations#it's still easy to feel smug after you get Talked To and then immediately turn around and show off#like yeah i coulda been doing this good the whole time. literally pulling up by 20 points. i just didn't want to.#trying to keep everyone's expectations low but accidentally toed the line of um. not working enough to keep my job#...anyway. EAS national weather system issued a . hi#i haven't forgotten about all of you i'm just having trouble tracking all my shit that i got going on ✨ yaaaaaaay#im gonna post things on AO3 soon. i promise. my weakness is that i get sidetracked trying to unwind from work#...i know i said 'soon' last time. but this time for real#asks#not sexy#anonymous
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was daily loop stricken or deleted
It Is Gone Forever. No More Loops (until somebody else makes a new daily loop blog, which I assume probably happened several months ago)
#asks#real answer i got stressed out keeping dailyloop up bc with time i felt worse and worse abt both what i put out artistically and the fact#that for like half a year i've really been struggling to find motivation artistically so updates were real sparse after day 100#going thru and rbing my favorites from dailyloop earlier gave me some nice closure bc honestly even the ones i hated are a lot better#looking than i remember and i can really see my artistic growth through the whole thing.#i'm still open to requests to draw that gay star (or anything really) but i decided i'm done with daily loop. i accomplished what i wanted#which was to give the Character Brainworm an outlet and to improve my art. which i succeeded at both!#tbh i probably didn't need to deactivate the blog but getting notifs on my older drawings regardless of account gives me like a mental ulce#so. bye bye dailyloop. gone but not forgotten </3
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sorry this just turned into complaining in tags. you don't have to expand all that i prommy.
#i have to develop an INTEREST or SOMETHING#jaerambles#god i just. something stressful is happening irl and i need a break from it but i'm in a loop bc i don't have anything else for my brain#i'm sorry this isn't a request for suggestions i'm having a really hard time with like finishing things and i don't want to#create an expectation DHGSDIFOSDH if that makes sense. i have been very listless when it comes to finding joy and i Know Why#it's just frustrating that i'm i guess like this forever and ever.#i've also been really busy so no oc stuff or any original thoughts i've just been. passing my time until i have to go to work again#i shouldn't be trying this hard i know. but i wish it came naturally.#i was talking with a coworker about not having a lot of friends on island and i was like. well outside of work#i only talk to my family and dm like 2 people. i don't frequently hang out with anyone.#there's a lot going on in my Fucking Brain and i can't even get distracted properly#there HAS to be more to life than just going to work and being tired from work. there HAS to be something#(my ocs rotting in the corner) (untouched hobbies gathering dust)
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#im worried something is wrong w me :/ like. medically. seriously#i've been feeling really tired for months now. my hair is thinner and flat. my back has been hurting? ive been super thirsty constantly#constantly hungry too... urgh#im worried it's diabetes or. like. worse? like cancer💀💀💀💀💀#delete later#ive also been like. quite stressed so! yknow! it could be anything#im most worried about diabetes tbh :/// it runs in a part of my family and im matching quite a few symptoms#i got an appt w my GP for monday to request a full panel bloodtest + diabetes check so :///#yeah#hopefully im fine!!#but yeah :/#sjonnie.sad
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guzm.a and me shaking hands about being poor and eligible for welfare 🤝🤝🤝🤝
#i braved the phonecall w the bank yesterday and have sent off the form for them to fill out to supplement my application SIGH#we're making forward progress! very slowly but progress nonetheless#i am just hoping my service request doesn't expire before i finish putting everything together or else. i have to start all over again!#and the bank charges me $16.50 (cad) to get this form filled out -_- fucked up imo LOL#anyways. i've been less active bc i've been busy stressing myself sick over this stuff HFDSJGKL#and also working in the kitchen at the centre :] i've gotten . so much free food from there this week its kinda crazy#like the free lunch that i make but also a bunch of leftovers. yayyyy i dont have to buy so many groceries rn#and i get nutritious meals :] i've been working on slowly getting my nutrition levels sorted out so this is really excellent :D !!!#also obviously guz isn't real and pkmn doesnt have a welfare system but i can look at him and know he would be eligible LMAO#dandy.cmd
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Hi. You have Ogron and Gantlos as a couple, and I was just wondering how they got together? Who would have admitted their feelings first? Who would have realised they had feelings first? Thank you!
Hiii hello!! Tbh they're not together in everything I do, kinda?? Like depending on what I'm drawing or writing, the way I use them and their relationship also changes y'know. I don't really have a set "Oh this is how it happens" because I don't have a set whatever's happening 😭😭 currently anyway? Does that make sense at all hfgvhbj
Of course I have concepts and ideas for future plans (or stinky little thoughts I might not use ever), so we can go over some of those!!
Generally I feel like their relationship is very. Mutual. There wasn't really a secret crush, pining, anything like that. The horrifying consequences of having a leader be fully equal to his second-in-command 😔😔 I'm joking but also not really. Just something about Ogron’s "I trust him with my life." and Gantlos' "I would follow him to the ends of the world." that works for me. Their relationship was simply agreed upon after a long time of that um. Sometimes heterosexual dynamic. Which I'm only putting like that because yes, sometimes I do keep it platonic. It be like that ig
But like I said!! This all absolutely depends on what I'm doing, like when I eventually force hanahaki on them- Ignore all of this, don't even worry about it mhm
#yes that is in the works#but y'know what else is#3 requests#that i absolutely did not forget about#nuh uh#i've been in a weird spot besties#but we're getting back to it!!#RAHHH#winx club#winx villains#wizards of the black circle#winx ogron#winx gantlos#ogron x gantlos#answered ask#i'll answer the other one you sent in a bit as well#i think i shoved the cork too deeply into my terrarium fam#is this was being a stressed parent is like#don't answer that
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About to mail off my ODSP final appeal to the Social Benefits Tribunal office
Gonna ask for fastest possible shipping and tracking. Idc what it costs. I am not gonna have them say they didn't receive it this time. I am gonna have proof
#the first appeal request i sent they said all they ever got was a letter from my doctor#which is bullshit because i sent them 10+ pages of documentation from multiple medical professionals#but they 'have no record' of that#well this time i have the records bitch#and if they try to pretend i didn't send anything i am gonna lawyer up and fuck 'em up#this has been so stressful. the gaslighting of 'no you're not disabled. no you didn't send us the right thing'#when yes i am!! yes i did!!!#has just had me in shambles#it could be months or even over a year before i get an appeal date. but at least once this is sent#i've done all i can for now and i can focus on other shit#mod post#odsp
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"was there a reason you didn't cancel this" honestly I thought I had so no there wasn't a reason but also if clients are going to have Your personal number and reach out to You about canceling (when they Should be reaching out via email per our cancelation policy) then You should be canceling the appt anyway imo. all the other trainers cancel their appointments AND add their appointments to the system 🤪
#noah.txt#also I do realize my annoyance is unwarranted but also I'm sosososo tired of this job#she's thinking about closing down for a month for renos and she's not going to pay anyone for that month#and she's not sure if she's going to set it up where we can file unemployment or if she's going to#make us be freelancers under the company name#also she booked an appt but didn't put it in the system and didnt Tell Me and someone put in a booking request for that day/time#and it's frustrating b/c the whole reason she wanted clients to be able to book via the online portal is to#make my job easier/more automated but it's not easier when I'm having to email 5 clients because she cant be fucked to learn the system#then I'm talking to a coworker about how my doctor said I need to get my stress down#and she has the AUDACITY to ask me if she's contributing to the stress#like... yeah you're like the primary stressor in my life because I got hired for an hourly position 2 years ago#yet you treat me like I'm a salary employee who is supposed to be on call#and yeah it's frustrating and stressful to feel like I can never fully relax b/c you might need something#and it's even more frustrating when the things she needs she'll call me about. I won't answer b/c I'm busy#then I'll call her back and she'll be like ''oh I looked for it after I got voicemail''#okay so you don't THINK to do a little investigating before calling me during my time off?#very funny to me that I've been in a therapy session talking about her and she will call me (I do not answer)#my job was not and is not to be a personal assistant yet that is the position I've been forced into#and quite frankly I do not get paid enough to deal with being a personal assistant to#an immature people pleasing 34 year old woman who lacks basic empathy and doesn't give a shit about her employees#like I wanted to like her! I want to like her! she's gay and Jewish! but she also stinks of white rich kid privilege#also she's having a baby with her wife and this is a baby she actively does not want and a baby they're having to fix their marriage#which is a very tough thing for me to watch from the sidelines#she also is always picking apart peoples appearances and shes also told me she would probably leave her wife if she grew her hair out#anyway there's a lot more on a personal and professional level but my break is over
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me, yesterday: i got some projects done so i am finally starting to feel a little less overwhelmed at work!
work, today: gives me 5 new projects in the span of 8 hours
me: well nevermind 🫠🫠🫠🫠
#personal#my manager and my boss know and understand that we're slammed and have been slammed since january#and they're trying#but everyone thinks their shit is important so we keep getting request after request#i swore i was gonna take a day off in march bc i've been feeling so stressed and overwhelmed and burnt out#DIDN'T DO IT. TOO BUSY.#friday is a holiday and i've been holding out for that for two months#so i finally gave in and asked my manager if i could take monday off too#bc i thought i had stuff under control#aaaand then i get like 7 new things all due first week of april 🫠😭#and my brother said we could go visit them on saturday so my parents are going and i looked at them last night and i said i wasn't#no room for debate just that i was not going to go drive 3+ hrs and sit around my brother's house all day#when i just saw them#bc i am so exhausted at my very core and i have been holding out for a peaceful 3 (now 4) day weekend for months#and i cannot#i just can't#i always bend and break to do what everyone else wants me to do or what i think they want me to do#and this time i just can't
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🫂😪
#hey I've been on a bit of a hiatus with writing and other projects#answering this cause ive had some anons asking for updates on drabble requests#leaving a toxic job that I endured for a year#getting a new job and new enviornment#finding out I had a whole ass other family I didn't know existed#and trying to keep up with the cost of living has taken a huge toll#on my mental health and wellbeing#to the point where I had to take time off my new job and go on a peer respite#i got back the other day and I'm doing better#but my mental health isn't 100%#and my chronic pain has been fluctuating a lot cause of stress#i know i don't owe anyone details about what i go through#but i like being transparent#and this makes it easier than answering 6-10 anons asking me for an update#i am not sure when im gonna fulfill drabble requests but they'll come when they come#and you can keep sending in stuff i dont mind it at all#just know i gotta take care of me right now#and I'll be slower answering stuff#take care of your mental health and bodies the best you can#im always rooting for ya#and to end on a good note#i got accepted into a masters program for clinical counseling and therapy#only 25 people could get in and somehow i got it#idk how im gonna get financial aid for it but im gonna try#im excited and nervous#i might have more vo stuff coming too idk yet but im trying not to do too much at once#if yall could do me a solid and drop something cool in the comments and let me know how your life is going id love that#especially if you got good news to share#i could use more of that right now#love you guys and here's a hug and a biscuit from me
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Goodbye 2023, Hello Trees
I'll be away from my computer for a couple of days as I do my annual "seriously, I need to see a fucking novel tree" camping trip. I'll have a little access to internet, but you know something being immersed in the moment, all hail fire, I must look at the moon tenderly like it is my own face etc.
2023 has been a year for me. My beloved first dog finished his story of 14 1/2 years. I sang to him in those last minutes, like I did when I first rescued him but now my voice sounds beautifully like me. My upper body now does that wonderful curve around the shoulders I associate with men when I take my shirt off. Once again I am reminded there's a real intersection between chronic pain, gender dysphoria and neurodiversity that allows me to see the world in a unique way. I'm lucky to have also found another wonderful community of weirdos. You all fill my day with joy and filth and remind me how attention is a moral act at brings aspects of things into being.
I hope you know I love you all. If you don't, please bear with me until I find the words, the way to arrange my face, the way to move my vocal cords until you know the warmth you bring to my life.
#I've read a lot of great things too in 2023#It's hard to narrow it down#let me stay tender hearted- despite despite despite#what you can’t give away you must carry with you#When another person is talking#you want to be listening so actively you’re burning calories#I also wrote some things I am proud of- even if some are still in WIPS#a choir of hungry ghosts that had long grown tired of asking to have not been hurt#and instead found smaller and smaller requests to be disappointed on#That's probably my favorite#since its something I realized doing a lot of peer support work this year#I can't stress how much although I struggle with how people can be weird about being trans#I find a lot of joy in being a polite menace to society by being kind#I look forward to improving on it in 2024
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I'm back to be annoying about it. I was doing a lot of thinking today to try to drown out the screaming matches my supervisors were having with each other :)
Imagine, if you will, a scrapbook of the best summer you ever experienced. Imagine flipping through it, looking at each badly-focused, blurry photo and fondly remembering the exact moment it was taken. Glittery stickers adorn the corners of the pages, handwritten notes from your friends fill the space between pictures...
Sufficiently nostalgic? Good. That's the aesthetic I want the Halo University AU to have.
Anyway. As a 'no plot, just vibes' AU (so far?), I THINK what I'm gonna do is just write it as a collection of snapshot scenes that form a loosely-connected narrative, and I was not joking about the Carly Rae Jepsen soundtrack, so each one is going to be themed around/inspired by a song.
(If I had sufficient art skills, I'd make a cute little fake polaroid for each chapter too.)
And! Since it's a fun, no-pressure writing exercise for me to work on when the mood hits, I think it'd be cool to make it a little. idk. interactive? I want to use it to explore dynamics I might not normally think about, so feel free to suggest two or more characters (doesn't have to be a ship) and/or a Carly Rae song and I'll see what I can do with it! I have a FEW ideas already cooking that I'll probably start with but. go wild, if you're interested.
#i can picture a cohesive aesthetic so clearly#it's grabbing me by the throat and shaking me#i'm honestly surprised i haven't done more song-related fics#considering how often a song will put an entire fully-formed scene in my head#work is gonna be so stressful for the next month#and i just want to write something fluffy and low stakes#also . i may have to do some character research#if someone suggests a character i don't have a lot of knowledge about/exposure to#but i will do my best to honor any requests#spartan university#i've also been coming up with irrelevant worldbuilding details for it#go figure#building the scenes around songs gives me easy chapter titles too :)#writing hack
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In working as graphic designer for this couple. They are different jobs, but she boss he.
They pay very well, but they have too much ideias AND THEY ALWAYS WANT IT FAST I BARELY EAT JUST TO DO THE SHIT IN TIME. and when I send the damn preview, they took days to give me a feedback, bc he can't decide without her opinion and she barely have time to send a feedback about her own commissions
#I've never been so stressed in my whole life#istg#they keep requesting more and more#AND NEVER ANSWER THE DAMN MESSAGE I JUST SEND#PLZ STOP REQUESTING AND PAY MEEEE
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oops hi another anon message about the kudos images
this is kinda bad timing since ao3 has temporarily removed images from comments due to spammers but i was wondering if you had plans to make more of them with different phrases since they are adorable. i post them on basically every fic i read and i was wondering if there would be more or if you have new ideas for some or if you had like a template you would be willing to publicly release so that we can make some that maybe related to specific scenarios in a fic or like some that have like inside jokes that only certain fandoms would understand. totally fine if you aren't comfortable with it tho i get it i just feel like an addict with these
i love these kudos images more than i love myself and they mean everything to me thank you so much for blessing this world with them
hiii i'm glad you like them!! (although i know some of them aren't working right now)
i regularly get asks about making more (and i know i wrote in the original post that i'd take requests, which i've done some of). i think at this point, i won't personally be making more, but i highly encourage anyone who wants to to make their own and i know some people have!
i think for fic-specific scenarios, it'd be easier to add it as text in the comment above or below the kudos image. i'll definitely consider uploading a psd template though! so keep an eye out for that 💖
[ i don't usually push this and there is absolutely no pressure but if you do like the stuff i make i have a ko-fi and would be extremely grateful for even a tiny tip ]
#asks#Anonymous#kudos#sorry to the requests i haven't answered but it has been A Year and i haven't had much time or energy#and i've just been through 6 months of having $800 cut from every paycheck due to an hr fuckup (yayyy university bureaucracy)#which didn't help with stress#so yeah i will probably free the psd to the wild lmao that's a great idea actually#thank you anon <3
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#sigh#another day another medical gaslighting incident#-.-#i s2g i cant remember the last time i had a consult that wasnt just some dickhead ignoring every symptom / word i said#and then blaming all my chronic illnesses & disabilities on sleep / anxiety / weight / being trans etc#dude wouldnt listen to anything other than the sound of his own voice#and Insisted on putting me on a medication i am not remotely comfortable going on bc of oast bad reactions to similar ones#literally was like 'well u can do what i say or u can just figure ur life out and stop being stressed and sedentary all the time'#BUDDY#a) im disabled. being sedentary is not a choice and becoming un-sedentary is not an option#b) my chronic migraines and fibromyalgia r not because of stress. yes stress can make them worse sometimes#but anxiety does not cause or create severe physical conditions and disabilites. ur ridiculous. this is ridiculous#c) 'fixing my life' will not fix my chronically ill and disabled body. what a wild thing to say who tf gave u ur license#and why do u have a job at a pain clinic that specialises in chronic illnesses and disabilities. tf#d) its wildly irresponsible to insist on a medication that's from a family of meds known to cause bad side effects / reactions in a patient#and then ignore them when they tell u they r not comfortable going on that medication bc of that#and then to refuse to discuss alternatives and demand a 'my way or the highway' approach to care#and end in telling the patient they do not care about their health if they don't blindly do as u say when u dont even know them#fuck u dude#i care more about my health than u do. u have known me for 3 minutes and 20 seconds and barely skimmed my file. fuck Right off#and lastly#e) ur a dismissive discriminatory asshole and there's not a chance in hell i will trust a word out of ur mouth#when all u did in that 5 minute appt (THAT U WERE 73 MINUTES LATE TO) was gaslight tf out of me and blame me for all my disabilities#get fucked bro#ur as much of a shithead as every other doctor i've dealt with at that clinic#like the one who put me on said bad medication which caused me to lose half my hair#and then ghosted me as soon as i called to inform her of that and request a med change. its been 8 months & she still refuses to contact me#i've left over 10 messages. i ended up having to go to my GP and a dermatologist who both said to get off that medication asap#which i did. but the telogen effluvium (hair loss due to meds) STILL hasnt bounced back so now im close to balding bc of that shit doctor#and now u want me to go on a med known to cause that even WORSE just bc u feel like it regardless of my well-being? Nah. no. fuck that 🖕👋
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I'll answer my asks later today probably.. idk
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#maybe I'll regret coming back earlier than planned but </33#I missed it here 😿😿#I've been gone for too long#I've taken the break I needed and I can always just be less active here if I'm stressed or smth#I'll try to work on the last fic request.. I kinda feel like it rn ngl#I've been playing AFK journey all day lol
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